#hey if you’re someone who likes reading about non fiction politics

[kavalyera]

it would be really accurate if i just put all my fav political books for brujah but alas i must be silly

wanna do a thing where i give book recs based off of vtm clans unfortunately i dont know that many books</3

[billconrad]

Overrated

     “Overrated” is a technical term applied to mechanical or electrical devices. For example, when a shelf rated for ten pounds breaks when one pound is applied, we would declare this shelf overrated. That usage makes perfect sense, but I dislike it when the word describes something non-technical. For example, I found an article defending Rick and Morty from people calling it overrated.

    I agree with the article, but let’s take a step back. The animation is subpar, and the main character is ultra-arrogant. Perhaps the most arrogant character in television history. Those are two big blows, and it should be permissible for a person to say, “I know you like the show, but you are ignoring these major flaws.” We live in an open society and should be encouraged to point out flaws. Sometimes, we must be vocal to get our point across. That is how we learn, evolve, and change.

    What is the psychology behind this word? It is a word that helps people convince others to agree with them. Another way of stating this is that we wish to soften a disapproval slam. “In the upcoming election, don’t vote for X. They are overrated.” Meaning: I do not like X, and neither should you.

    Am I guilty of using this term? One famous movie that comes to mind is Twilight. I watched it in the theater and was disappointed. What about all the fans who cherish their beloved movie? It is tempting to say, “For each, his own.” Yet, that would be me falsely claiming to be the better person. If I honestly listed the flaws, would my summary not include the word overrated? After all, my tear-down would directly contradict the millions of fans who cherished the movie.

    After thinking about my question and re-writing this article several times, I realized that this word applies to my thoughts. Dang, my admission is upsetting. This article aimed to explain why this word should only be used for technical applications. Reading it is a red flag identifying someone not open to new ideas, fresh perspectives, other people’s feelings, or how difficult it is to create something. I want to say that these people have a pre-determined opinion that overrides their common sense and courtesy.

    Yet… Here I am. The word applies to the movie Twilight. Reading that sentence boils my blood, and I want to delete it. It is like I am going up to every movie fan and insulting them. That is not me! But somehow, it is. Well? What does this all mean? This article was supposed to be a simple lighthearted discussion but it has turned into one of the most difficult ones I have ever written. I cannot convince myself that my altruistic argument is correct, and there can only be one conclusion. I am overrated. In my wildest dreams, I would never have anticipated applying that word to myself.

    You’re the best -Bill

    April 10, 2024

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.

[growup-gloup]

How do I become more social if I don’t have much to say to anyone I feel like I’m boring what could I do ?

How to make yourself more interesting?

Read more books. Start with fiction and non-fiction in topics that interest you, and once you've got the hang of reading regularly, you can move onto other genres and topics that you may not be familiar with. If reading is too much, start with audiobooks. You can find a bunch on YouTube to start with.

Watch documentaries. Marathoning shows and movies are fun and can be great conversation topics, but watching documentaries on a variety of topics can help expand your worldview and knowledge. Watch documentaries on different cultures, points in history, animals, and even space. There is always something to learn and there are so many well-filmed documentaries that captivate you as well as any movie.

Listen to different music. People love to talk about their music preferences, and someone knowing your favorite songs is a love language of its own. Check out different genres. Every genre has the top artists that everyone knows and famous songs. Start with those, and if you're starting to enjoy the music, you can expand from there.

Stay up to date with current events. This applies universally but is especially important these days, as there is always something new happening and there everyone has an opinion on the situation. But tread this carefully. Not everyone wants to be constantly bombarded with horror stories on the news, and it's best to steer clear of politics. These conversations come up naturally, but it helps to know what's going on.

Travel more. Even if you don't have the budget to leave your city, there is still so much you can do within 20 km of where you live. There are new restaurants and hangout spots to try. Many public places are either free or have discounts on certain events. That's a great way to experience something and also an idea for a spontaneous hangout with friends.

All these things help expand your worldview and give you more to talk about when you are with a person. The more you've seen and experienced, the more you can talk about it, even if it is to say that you didn't enjoy it.

Once you get talking, you'll also get recommendations, or learn new things from the people you talk to. Take note of that too. Look into the things they recommend. Who doesn't love hearing "Hey, I checked out that book/show/song/place you were telling me about"? Either you enjoyed a new experience, or you have another topic to talk about next time.

If you're not comfortable talking about yourself, that's totally fine. You shouldn't be telling everyone you meet everything anyways. A little mystery is good. People love talking about themselves and their interests, so even if you don't know much about what they're talking about, asking good follow-up questions can keep them engaged in conversation and help you learn something new.

💋

[hellyeahheroes]

Read (and Steal) Like a Writer: 10 Tips For the Very Beginners

my brithday is soon. I’m feeling old and filled with regrets. Some of those are “wish I learned so many things early”. So here are few tips for would be creators who are just starting and still fret about things like “originjality” or “finding inspiration” that I wish I learned or realized 20 years ago.

1. Read Within Your Genre

It is my belief that  no writer wants to create a cliche copy of someone else’s work. They all want to create something new and innovative. Then why do we have so many run off the mill, indistinguishible copies of big works in each given genre, just with names changed? I believe it’s because many writers do not read enough works in that genre to truly know what has been already done. If you want to write an epic fantasy like Tolkien, you aren’t competting only with Tolkien. You’re competting with Guy Gavariel Kay’s Fionavarn Tapestry, Tad Williams’ Memory, Sorrow and Thorn, David Edding’s Belgariad, Margaret Weiss & Tracy Hickman’s Dragonlance Chronicles, Raymond E. Feist’s Riftwar and Terry Brook’s Shannara. You need to know what they have done to distuinguish your own work from them. Do not get daunted and see them as competition, but as predecessors who treaded this road before. See their mistakes as warning signs, left by them for those who follow. Look at their own inspirations, if possible. Compare common threads and elements, then think why are they reccuring, what have the writers done with them and whenever there is anything new you could add to conversation.

2. Read Outside Your Comfort Zone

Life is not divided into genres. The whole concept of a genre is most useful for libraries and bookstores, so that good people working there know which shelf to put a particular book, for customers to easily find things like ones they’ve read and enjoyed before. And even then there is a reason why most don’t bother  making separate sections for fantasy and science-fiction. That isn’t to say genres are meaningless, they do help you reach the right audience. But chances are that your story will be more than just one genre. It won’t be just “fantasy” but “fantasy romance” or “fantasy tragedy” or “fantasy political thriller”.  Or “fantasy tragedy using a framework of a political thriller with a big romance subplot that is also a musical”. Read anything you think may be even remotely useful. Detective story, romance, political thriller, an RPG book, an essay about string theory. As a matter of fact, treat “read” as  a shortword for all kinds of experiences of fiction. One of greatest examples of epic fantasy in last two decades was Avatar the Last Airbender, a cartoon.

Everything you absorb is going to either provide you with an inspiration or teach you something about writing. Even if sometimes it may take a form of “they completely wasted this idea, I can do this better!”. Even garbage or works of writers fundamentally opposed to you in worldview can have valuable lessons. Thorugh they will likely teach you things vastly different than what the author intended. For example, take a professional editor and right-wing poundit Ben Shapiro. His book True Alliegance has taught me a very important lesson: a writer, who does their own editing, has a fucking moron for an editor.

3. Put That Book Down

All the advice about reading can easily lead into a trap where you think that you have to read huge swats of material before you even pick a pen or open the word document. You may end with a huge reading list - the great works within your chosen genre, collection of Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle for the investigation part opf the story, non-fiction books about relative time pieroid. And when it comes time to write you can think to yourself “I can write my own story. I’ve read Tolkien, Eddings, Kay, Weis & Hickman, Brooks, Williams and Feist, I watched Avatar and played first Dragon Age, I’m read to write my own...hey, people are really talking up how revolutionary this Brandon Sanderson guy is, maybe I should read him first? And everyone is saying this Amphibia cartoon has great fantasy narrative...”

The reading part is not a process that just finishes on its own. The list of things to read is infinite and will only grow because great works will never stop coming for as long as human race exists. At some point you need to grow that confidence to just put down that never-ending pile of books and games, open that fucking document and start writing. In fact, put that book you’re reading down, close this tab and write right now. Come back to read rest of the list once you finish. You will thank me later.

4. Do Not Consume Poison

No matter how good and well-respected a work of fiction is, there is probably an equally good one out there that is not going to hurt you. If you think that there is something about Lolita, Breaking Bad or Planescape: Torment that is going to trigger you for any reason, don’t force them upon yourself. We all have enough trauma, you’re not doing anyone a favor by tearing off your old scabs and scratching the open wounds, less alone yourself. You do not owe it to anyone. Whatever good these titles could teach you does not outweights potentially scarring yourself. That dream project of yours is neither worth sacrificing your mental health, nor gonna write itself if you do yourself too much damage. Your writing is only going to suffer with your mental health, not improve.

5. Don’t Fear The Stupid Idea

Some of the great works started with an idea that in theory should never work. Amphibia started as Matt Braly’s attempt to mash together Dragon Ball Z and Pepper Ann. Jim Butcher turned a bet that he could never make a story out of “The Lost Roman Legion meets Pokemon” work into a best-selling Codex Alera series.

If you do look for inspiration in other people’s work, your mind will come with ideas of mixing the elements up. They may sound silly on paper. It is your job to  polish and craft them into something that works. “X Meets Y” is just a starting point. Both the works I listed are so much more than just the two base components of the initial idea. Don’t be afraid of merging the ideas either. In fact, throw everything you have into one cauldron, cook it up until it looks like a consistent story soup and fish out the parts that didn’t dissolve into it.

6. Simpsons Did It

Do not fret about originaly of your work. Every story, trope, plot point or character concept has been told in some way before. You would be surprised how seemingly “original” works are actually parts of a chain of dialogue of sorts - different creators taking from a work that was already deliviative. Family Guy is just the Simpsons if they put empasis on quantity of jokes over quality. But the Simpsons are just the Flinstones with social commentary instead of dinosaurs. And Flinstones themselves are just the Honeymooners with dinosaurs in place of jokes about domestic abuse.

Just because someone else has done it doesn’t mean you should abbandon your idea. Hell, don’t be afraid of making your story “just story X but with Y”. Neil Gaiman’s the Graveyard Book is, by design, just the Jungle Book, but with undead. The Magnificent Seven is literally the Magnificent Seven Samurai but with cowboys. Does that make either of them less amazing? Not at all.

7. If You Steal, Give It a Paintjob.

If you are inspired by a something, be it from another work or real life, you cannot just jam it into your story. You need to think how does it fit your world and what are it’s interactions with other elements. The character you copy should be a starting point from which you modify, shaving off everything you do not need, adding new elements, or even parts ripped from other stories, if you feel that’s what they need. Then sew it together and start again until it has brand new and enteirly functional shape. Dragonlance’s Lord Soth and Gundam’s Char Aznable both started as an attempt to put Darth Vader into a story very different from Star Wars. But by the time writers were done with them, they both become their own entities, with their own backstories and personalities, distinct from Vader and each other. Hell, both inspried a ton of copycats on their own.

8. Anger Is Fuel Too

I briefly touched on it in second point, but it needs an elbaoration. A lot is being said about the power of stories we love inspiring us to create new ones. But the opposite is also true. There is nothing wrong in writing out of anger and bitterness, out of the frustration with another story.

A lot of people tend to dismiss it as childish reaction to stories. I disagree.  A true, genique anger is not born out of frivolity. If you are pissed about writer wasting a story potential, you probably are passionate about themes that could be explored with that premise. If you think a character has been done dirty, they probaly represent things that resonate with you on some level. If you think message of a story is harmful, you likely care about well-being of people who may be affected by it. Dig deep enough and you are likely to find meaningful topics under the source of your anger. Tap into that. As long as you have something to say, it will ring true.

9. Fanfic is Great

A lot of people tend to dismiss fanfiction as somewhat “lesser”, as if it wasn’t written by many professional writers. Neil Gaiman wrote a Chronolicles of Narnia fanfic, Snow White fanfic and a Sherlock Holmes/Cthulhu Mythos crossover. As a matter of fact, any writer who ever used Cthulhu Mythos wrote a fanfiction. Ditto for any character from any Mythology, including Judeo-Christian, Arthurian Legend, Dracula etc. A lot of what we actually call parts of Mythology could have been written hundreds of years after original creators passed. A number of Greek myths could have been written by Romans, some scholars theorize myth of Ragnarok was a Christian invention and Lancelot was added to Arthurian legend by a French guy who wanted to see all those Brits getting their asses kicked by a French guy.

So do not shoot down fanfiction, no matter how weird it looks to you. Go and write that buddy-cop rivals-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn between Boromir and sans undertale, it’s as valid as all these award-winning stories where someone made Snow White a vampire. And if anyone tells you one idea is in any way dumber than the other, I’m gonna fight them in the parking lot. And if you think your story is good enough, change all names and try to get it published. Won’t be the first, second or last book we got that way.

10. Fanfic is Not Flawless

That being said, there is a trap that befalls writers trained on fanfiction, as try to move their skills onto original work. Modern fanfic is constructed on the idea it is read by people who already are heavily invested in this world and characters. We come in knowing who these people are and we already have emotional connection to them. As such many fanfics can skip “saving the cat” part, the one where they establish why should anyone give a fuck about the protagonist. We give a fuck because it’s Blorbo and his shows made us give a fuck. I have seen way too many writers move from fanfic to original fiction and utterly fail to realize they no longer are writing about Blorbo and no one is gonna give a fuck about Blorwalski the Original Character, unless the writer put a work to make them.

-Admin

[neon-junkie]

Hey everyone,

This will be my final post addressing the fandom conflict that has quite frankly gotten out of hand. Although it’s very likely this post will be picked apart, no matter how well intended it is, I will no longer be addressing, interacting, or responding to any further accusations made against me. Of course, if people have questions from a genuine place of interest, I will be happy to clarify anything for you, either via DM’s or non-anon asks. I will not be answering anonymous asks on this, as I do not want anything else posted on this topic. 

As a side note: For anyone tempted to wade into the debate, I sincerely ask you not to get involved. Do not make yourself a target, do not feel you need to ‘pick a side’, and please do not think you have an obligation to reason with either side. It seems to be well past the point of that, so please find people you get along with in this fandom and curate a space for yourself away from all this conflict.

Warning: This post will contain uncensored slurs, mentions of racism, paedophilia, transphobia, LGBTQ+ phobia, death threats, threats of violence, targeted harassment, and abusive language.

To start off, I want to apologise to everyone who has somehow gotten drawn into this mess by either defending me, following me, or interacting with my content. This whole situation with me began well over a year ago when I wrote a crack-smut fic featuring Javier/Micah, posted back in August 2019. A crack fic is defined as “a work of fan fiction that is absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally.” It was inspired by a camp interaction between Micah and Javier, and like many other fanfiction writers, I decided to write smut about it. The fic was titled ‘Dirty Fucking Greaser’, and if that shocks you, I’m sure you can imagine how shocked I was to be informed afterwards that ‘Greaser’ was in fact a very serious 19th century slur for a Mexican individual. My first encounter with this word as insult was via RDR2, where it was used like a very casual insult. My only prior knowledge of this term was in regards to the greasers youth subculture, so the severity was lost on me. This obviously does not excuse my ignorance, and I should have researched the term better, but this is just again to apologize for that oversight, the insensitivity, and to highlight that my use of this term was not meant maliciously. Following this being pointed out, I proceeded to make 3 separate apology posts [Unfortunately I can only find the third one: HERE], renamed the fic, and added slur warnings in both the tags and the fic description. When I continued to receive complaints and increasingly aggressive abuse (which included being told my apologies weren’t good enough and I should delete my account and even kill myself), I attempted to delete the fic and mistakenly abandoned it instead. I contacted AO3 to see if it could be removed, but they said there was nothing they could do. I contacted their DMCA takedown team, who also said they couldn't remove it. Please note that all this happened 7-8 months ago, and has been dragged on for almost a year. 

So, from this one unfortunate incident, I’ve been branded a racist, and someone who attacks POC, when all I have done is tried to defend myself and correct my past mistakes. I could have done this more gracefully in the past, but frankly when you’re suddenly the target of unrelenting callout posts and nasty anons, it’s very hard to be open to criticism of this sort, but this is what I’m trying to move past.

Over the course of the year, this one mistake has spiralled, and the crusade against me has somehow coincided with moral conflicts over certain characters and ships. This has devolved into dehumanizing abuse, witch hunts, death threats, doxxing, anon hate, and much more unpleasant behaviour.

I have been in fandom for a very long time, and at the heart of all fandom circles is the fear of censorship and subsequent purges, so the ‘ship and let ship’ mentality was more or less the pinnacle of fandom philosophy. And yes, this can be problematic in some contexts. People have their right to be uncomfortable with content, have a right to be offended by content, but that is not content meant for you. This argument has devolved into ‘what material is morally right to engage with’ and that is a mentality in which fandom will not survive, because for every person who is telling me I’m an awful person for writing about Micah, there are three other people telling me how much they appreciate me making that content. For every fic in which I characterize Javier and Flaco a certain way, some people are made uncomfortable by it and others tell me they enjoy it. And this isn’t just white people, but POC too, which makes it very difficult to know whether I am genuinely in the right or the wrong, especially when it comes to the concept of ‘fetishization’ which I have been made aware I need to educate myself on. I intend to do so, but I disagree with the common accusation that finding non-white men romantically and sexually attractive is inherently fetishistic and makes me racist. It’s pushing a catch-22; don’t find POC sexually attractive? Racist. Find POC sexually attractive? Racist.

I am always willing to be (politely) approached about anything my readers may be concerned about, but if it’s something I’ve specifically tagged for (such as themes, scenarios, etc.) I’m afraid you consented to reading it and with that I cannot help you. You are just as responsible for curating your space and what you see/read just as much as I am responsible for tagging it appropriately.  

On the topic of racism, I want to bring up my prior use of ‘white racism’ which has obviously been a point of contention among both white and people of colour. The (literal) black vs white concept of racism is incredibly American-centric, and as someone from Europe, which has a history of oppression against white cultures and those of people of colour, it feels inaccurate. However, this has recently been discussed with me and I came to the realization that while growing up, especially in the UK, ‘xenophobia’ and ‘racism’ were marketed as one and the same. So, with this little revelation in mind, I will no longer be using ‘white racism’ (Or ‘reverse racism’) to identify the abuse I have been receiving, but will instead call it by what it really is; dehumanizing, debasing, xenophobic, puritanical.   

Very briefly, I will also touch on the NewAustin situation, which has also been dredged into this. I did not ‘chase a POC from tumblr’. NA was a minor who for some reason was on my 18+ blog and took issue with me, likely from the ongoing discourse regarding my fic and initial mistake, as well as my interest in Micah. They were subsequently harassed into deleting their account by anonymous hate following various conflicts with other users for their support of me or their ships in general. I have never encouraged my followers to target anyone, and have always asked to be blocked and blacklisted by those who do not like me or my content. When NewAustin messaged me following the deletion of their blog, I was admittedly indifferent to the point of being unkind, and accused them of sending the hate themselves. This was based on the anon hate being racially-driven without there being any prior knowledge or publication that NA was a person of colour. This aside, I should have at the time, whether I believed it was my followers or not, condemned this behaviour. Regardless of the issues I’ve had with these people, it is never ever ok to send hate to anyone, no matter the motivation behind it, and that should have been stated at the time.

All I can do at this point is acknowledged and apologize for my past mistakes, and try to improve myself going forward.  

It is not my place to dictate the morals of the character/ship-aspect of this argument, and I am not interested in waging a war of opinion. This post is simply to clarify how I am involved in this, and why I am so viscerally targeted. You can draw your own conclusions, but I am no longer interested in this endless back and forth.

To my mutuals/followers, I stand by my request to not interact and to block and move on, as this is what I’ll be doing too.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope it makes things from my perspective a little clearer.

-RAT <3

EDIT: Just after this post was made, the fic in question was finally removed. I had to go through a DMCA take down, which can take months, since I originally abandoned the fic, thinking that meant delete. I explain this in more detail above. Said fic is gone, and has been gone since this post has been around.

[writingwithcolor]

Hey! I’m currently writing a Jewish character and was wondering if this would be offensive: my character has a family where her mother is Jewish but her father celebrates Christmas, so they fuse their holiday celebrations to bring their two families together for any holidays that fall in line with eachother. Would this be a problem? I’m basing her off of irl friends who’s family does this, but I want to make sure it doesn’t seem like I’m erasing her Jewish heritage and pride. Thanks so much!

Celebrating Hanukkah & Christmas in interfaith family

No problems from me other than to note that I hope you meant to say that they're both celebrated, not that they're literally "combined." Because putting Christian ritual into a Jewish holiday would bug me, as a reader, but someone watching Mom light the menorah before going out caroling with Dad would not--for example. Does that make sense? There are plenty of interfaith families out there that do both, but keeping the actual practices separate is the best way to keep the Jewish ones Jewish. (And in my example I was picturing both parents there for each activity, so it's not like I'm calling for that much separation -- just, not bringing up "the meaning of Christmas" while you're literally telling the Chanukah story.

You may also want to decide if the character themselves is drawn in one direction or the other, or neither yet. (You said "Jewish heritage and pride" so from this I gather that's how she believes? In that case, is Christmas totally just a fun secular thing for her or is it something she regards as an outsider, religiously speaking?)

--Shira

I'm going to start by saying that interfaith families exist, and have a variety of ways of expressing their combination of cultures. I'm absolutely not here to argue with that, be negative about that very real way of life, or invalidate those experiences in the slightest. 

With that being said... people outside our community really, really love to show us celebrating Christmas, and Easter, and eating bacon, or doing anything else that might code us as assimilated (regardless of our internal identities). These are things that some Jewish people do, and I think it's absolutely good to show the breadth of the community, and the varied ways we express ourselves, but I do not, at all, trust someone outside the community to do that mindfully. 

In wider media, whether books, television, movies etc. Jewish characters are so often shown to be either assimilated, or from an interfaith family. Interfaith does not necessarily mean assimilated of course! But the fact of their interfaith relationship is often used as a convenient way to get the Jewish character into situations that are intended to show how "not really" Jewish they are. There is an obsession with showing us as assimilated, a delight that is taken in trying to prove that we either are exactly the same as the broader culture, or that our differences can be erased and eroded until we are. 

A Jewish person remains Jewish, whether they go to a Christmas party or not, whether they have shrimp at dinner or not, whether they marry a non-Jewish person or not, but the intent behind constantly showing Jewish characters doing this is suspect to me. This asker may not have this ill-intent, but frankly, it's hard to come by a character, written by a non-Jewish person, that says "I'm Jewish" in the beginning of a work, and then "oh, no thank you, I don't celebrate Christmas" in the middle, let alone even continuing to say "I'm Jewish" by the end.

When I read a work about interfaith families, and their specific traditions by a person inside the community, or coming from an interfaith background themselves, I'm interested, happy to learn about the characters, and their lives. When I read a work like that by someone outside the community it leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth, and the feeling that even fictional versions of us are being gleefully, voyeuristically, intentionally assimilated.

-- Dierdra

1) If your character is invested in their Jewish heritage, celebrating Chanukah is not enough to show this. Please please please research our other holidays and traditions, talk to Jewish people who feel the same level of connection to their Jewish roots, consume #OwnVoices materials.

2) Agree with Dierdra that interfaith families exist and deserve representation, but that writing an assimilated character requires a lot of research and sensitivity; any blatant disregard of halacha should probably be avoided in case it is consumed in that voyeuristic way by the reader.

3) And with Christmas in particular, you can be close to touching a nerve because not all Jewish people have fond memories of Christmas, to say the least. To people of minority faiths, it can be the time when our othering is the most blatant and impactful (we’ve included some personal stories below). 

It would be best to listen to many Jewish experiences of December shenanigans, from people who celebrate Christmas partially or fully, to those who are indifferent, to those who have mainly negative associations and memories.

-- Shoshi

Our personal experiences with Christmas (Jewish Mods)

Also, as a note from all of us, discussing this question brought up so many stories about our own experiences with Christmas, and the culture surrounding it.  A selection of them are below, just to give an idea of what it can be like:

- Just not having lights up was enough to get our neighbor asking our then roommate if we were "you know... sorta..." When our roommate confirmed that we are indeed Jewish, he reassured him that it was "fine." It didn't feel fine to be told that though. I also had a neighbor ask what we were doing for Christmas once, and I said "oh, we do Chanukah in this house" just to keep it casual. She excitedly yelled back "JEWS!!" Even without Covid I was getting to the point where December was just a month where I tried to stay in, and avoid getting grumpy at people who are just enjoying their holiday (they just happen to be enjoying it everywhere, all the time. And sometimes kind of aggressively). God forbid you correct someone when they wish you a Merry Christmas. 

- Me too, it's the marketing, it's so aggressive. Last year I got so fed up with Christmas music being on in the office that I decided to bring a dreidel and spin it casually on my desk throughout the day, just so that my own space could feel like it was somewhat reserved for my own identity, you know? On day two of this, a colleague I didn't know that well came up to me and said, "Please could you stop doing that? It's really loud." I wanted to yell "NOT AS LOUD AS YOUR MUSIC!", but I didn't, I just stopped spinning it because I'm a darn pushover at times. I had to sit through my first hand-wringing 'how will we do Christmas with Covid?' conversation in about September, even though Pesach and Eid were both during the height of lockdown in this country and no one said a thing until after the fact. 

- I've had people scoff, and sniff, and make snide comments to my face in my old workplace when I politely reminded them that I don't celebrate Christmas. It can get so uncomfortable, just existing in the world, and Christmas can end up a really miserable time. 

[qqueenofhades]

Hey, I loved your post about queerness in historical fiction. I was wondering if you could help me find a better way to explain (or know of someone who could) to the white (usually male) fans of Tolkien who are currently losing their minds because in the series for Amazon they have cast Sir Lenny Henry (a black man) as a hobbit. It feels like the exact same argument that was dealt with when Anya Chalotra was cast as Yennefer for The Witcher. It just seems like only white people are screaming that the entire cast must be white in both the case of the Witcher and Middle Earth in order to be "historically accurate to the Dark Ages" when it's all fantasy. I'm a white person and I don't get it. It's really frustrating that the only way to convince them that people of color should be allowed to play characters who aren't evil-doers is to bring up the existence of the potato in both Middle Earth and The Witcher. In this most recent fight, I've been called all kinds of names (one dude keeps saying I'm racist when I haven't brought up race or anything like that) and it's ridiculous because Henry was cast as a Harfoot who were hobbits with dark skin that they claim means Mediterranean not Black.

Ooof. I admire your initiative, I really do, but also: there comes a point where all good-faith efforts are totally futile, because these people don't actually WANT their beliefs challenged, and there won't be anything you can do about it except to exhaust yourself. You can throw all the material or documentary evidence at them that you want, but it won't work, because racism, white superiority, and the assumption of a monolithically white medieval history are a helluva drug. They are eager to split ridiculous hairs like "dark skin means Mediterranean instead of black" because, well, racism, whether or not they want to acknowledge that. Because Mediterranean is at least European, whereas for them, Black is Bad, Inferior, or otherwise Unacceptable. This doesn't even get into the types who want to claim that Ancient Rome (which was rather notably, y'know, Mediterranean and North African) was actually lily-white, because even dark-skinned Southern and Eastern Europeans can't ultimately make the racist cut.

Tolkien himself obviously had problems with his depiction of race and racialized people (witness the Haradrim, "men from the South," being the only people of colour in the story and generalized as an indiscriminate evil force fighting for Sauron against the white/Northern European heroes). That's not to say Tolkien was actively racist (see: the letter he wrote to the Nazi German would-be publishers of The Hobbit, inviting them cordially to get fucked), but it does mean that he was steeped in the usual assumptions and expectations of a white upper-class British man in the 1920s and 1930s, and not least the mindset that the (white) rulers of the (nonwhite) British Empire were superior, morally correct, and the privileged resisters of "evil" political systems. (This isn't even getting into how Germany was admired throughout the long 19th century for its perceived cultural and social superiority, the American eugenics movement directly influenced the Nazis, a lot of people thought that Hitler's only mistake was being too obviously crazy, and America and Britain only actively entered World War II when their territory/perceived global power was infringed upon.)

White people tend to assume that if they personally don't hold discriminatory attitudes (and they usually do, just because that's what society has taught them for almost all of modern history), they can't be racist, and it's a personal insult to call them that. They know that Racism Is Bad, but likewise, it's always someone else's fault, not theirs. See the huge brouhaha over the supposed plan to teach "critical race theory" in American public schools, which is really just acknowledging that centuries of racism and discrimination have created a system that disadvantages people of color at every level. This is absolute heresy for today's right wing (which has become ever more extreme, reactionary, and historically amnesiac) to admit. They can admit historical racism, sometimes, maybe, only in demonstrably "bad" people, but as far as they're concerned, there was no lingering effect whatsoever, and it's "un-American" (read: anti-white supremacist) to insist otherwise. Land of the free! Everyone treated the same! Etc. etc. The continued inferior or disadvantaged life outcomes of people of color is, according to these types, simply a result of them not being motivated/ambitious/smart enough to fix their own broken circumstances. Those centuries of genocide, cultural destruction, use as literal chattel slaves, etc, has nothing to do with it.

If this sounds ridiculous: well, obviously, it is. But as reactionary mindsets have become troublingly normalized and social media has allowed people to spread both passively and actively racist content to unprecedented degrees, it has also leaked into media. The type of white-man-fan you're arguing with won't accept any "historically accurate" argument for the inclusion of non-white people, even as they're staking their own (bad) arguments on that hill. This is because they want to claim the sole privilege to create a nostalgic/imagined/fantasy space that looks just like them. Their underlying belief is that people of color never had any power or consequential role in history, and shouldn't have, so they don't want to see a space, even an explicitly fantastic/non-historical setting (like LOTR, The Witcher, GOT, etc.), where this is the case. Whether or not they want to say it, or even if they're aware of it, they feel that even if they've been unhappily forced to accept a small lessening of their cultural power just because we no longer automatically accept that white men get to run everything, they at least can take comfort in a (white) past. And now, or so they think, the "politically correct" types also want to ruin their racist fantasy comfort zone. They can't even escape from multiculturalism in media, as it too has become steadily more diverse.

Basically: it's racism, Jan. It's many levels of racism, you can't argue those people out of it, and you have to identify and understand that, especially since their favorite diversionary tactic will be the schoolyard maneuver of going, "no, YOU'RE the racist!!!"

(Also: "historically accurate to the Dark Ages" should tell you everything you need to know. These people know absolutely nothing about history, but that won't prevent them from weaponising it in defense of the perceived threat to their cultural and racial domination. Besides, yet again, fantasy universes have no claim to historical accuracy, and if you say that, I assume you just want to feel justified in creating a fictional universe where the only powerful/consequential people are white heterosexual western European-coded men, because you not-so-secretly wish it was still that way in reality.)

[miraculouscontent]

(non-Miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Ok this may just be me but I hate deconstructions. I feel like they are always mean spirited and try to be dark and edgy and thinks that every single person is an asshole because that’s “realistic” when no it’s not. This maybe because I like superhero stories and love it when the heroes overcome their struggles.

I can agree for the most part. Whenever I hear “okay but what if it was dArK--” I’m just okay, gonna stop you right there.

Anonymous said:

I swear, nothing bothers me more than people who want Miraculous Ladybug to literally just be Yandere Simulator(with Marinette as Ayano, Alya as Info-chan, Adrien as Taro, Chloe as Osana, Lila as Kizana, Kagami as Megami, and Luka as Budo). It just grinds my gears, especially because they're, once again, framing Marinette as a stalker, which just makes her look bad, AND pits all the girls against each other for Mr. Generic Harem Protagonist, once a-fucking-gain. Just go play the actual game, ok?

All I'm hearing is that now I have to ship Ayano and Budo and write a fic where the ghost girl uses fancy fantasy magic to merge her soul with Ayano and lets her actually have emotions, healing her from being a yandere while the ghost girl (in a way) gets to live a life she was cut short of, also allowing Ayano to be happy and go onto be friends with all the rivals.

Extremely convoluted but that’s the only way we get happy endings in this house.

Anonymous said:

I remember how, when writing Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi refused to bow to older male writers wanted, say, for the girls to be stereotypical manga characters, with one being overweight, one being a stereotypical nerd, etc. But Naoko wanted each of the girls to be beautiful and feminine. While I don't like that they all share a body type, I admire how she didn't listen to grown men when writing for and about young girls. And I can't help but think about how Madoka is the antithesis of all that.

I can appreciate writers who put their foot down to stick to their values. There are limits of course, but yeah, a women writing women probably shouldn’t be listening to a man’s input. I’m sure good advice exists buuut...

Anonymous said:

What is your ranking of the seasons of the year from most to least favorite and why?

Summer - I work best in the warmth

Spring - Always brings images of flowers blooming to mind

Autumn - Things are getting cold and I don’t like it

Winter - It can go choke for all I care

Anonymous asked:

Someone on TV Tropes actually said that the name Feminist Fantasy should be changed because "feminism excludes men the same way meninism excludes women" and actually had the nerve to link that to the "Not So Different" trope, as if women haven't been excluded throughout the history of almost every human society. Fortunately, someone responded to them in a way that technically amounted to "do your damn research" but I'm still facepalming so hard at TV Tropes' "what about the men" rhetoric.

I feel like I lost braincells reading this.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like in fiction written by men there are only three flaws that female protagonists are allowed to have: clumsy, boy-crazy, or ashamed of their flat chests. I hate it.

Don’t forget, “having to listen to the men for how they’re supposed to feel.”

Anonymous asked:

Jatp. Nominated. For. Seven. Emmys. SEVEN!!!! Miraculous could NEVER. Literally.

omg!! Congrats to Julie and the Phantoms!

Anonymous asked:

WHAT ARE YOUR FLASHBACKS TO EVER AFTER HIGH?? I GOTTA KNOW? OMG?

Oh, I’ve seen basically the whole series, though the one I remember most is definitely Epic Winter. It was my favorite one though Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie so I’m biased.

I also like a lot of the “twists” and just--crazy concepts they rolled with, like with Red Riding Hood’s story and how Apple White gets woken up from her slumber.

Anonymous asked:

You're gonna be happy to hear this...I just started watching Cardcaptor Sakura today, and holy shit not only do I love it, but I also love how freaking META it is! I know you said you're not all that knowledgeable about Magical Girl, but this show is AWARE that it's a Magical Girl show! From Tomoyo(the main reason this show is so meta, tbh) realizing Sakura is a Magical Girl and asking if she has a transformation pose, to designing outfits for her(more on that later) to videotaping her(aka literally making a Magical Girl anime out of her Magical Girl friend), it just has fun with itself and plays with Magical Girl tropes without making a mockery of them like all those "dark" male-aimed ones do(lookin' at you, Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna!).

And not only is it hilarious and adorable(especially with Sakura's crush on Yukito, Tomoyo's crush on Sakura, and Touya picking on Sakura, but playfully), but I love how it's riddled with girl power. While watching some of the first episodes I was looking forward to seeing Syaoran(partly because I love male Tsunderes and partly because I can't pronounce his name), and was surprised that he wasn't in the first few episodes, but more importantly I was so happy to see a show that treats its female characters with respect and shows women unironically receiving support from other women and being shown possessing power and authority.

I love Sakura and Tomoyo's friendship even if I hate the trope of "Lesbian Never Gets The Girl"(not that I think she's entitled to Sakura's affections or anything, but still.) and watching her support Sakura in her magic endeavors without being jealous or vindictive, I love that they're allowed to be independent and smart but that the show doesn't forget that they're kids, instead of making them like Manon and Chris, and I love that the show passes the Bechdel test in pretty much the first or second episode, and that pretty much every important and unimportant character we meet that's not Sakura's family members, Kero, or Yukito(plus maaaayyybe the Shadow Clow Card) are female.

Even little things, like all FOUR of Tomoyo's bodyguards in the second episode being female without there being a "reason" or the show making a big deal of it(either in a "yay girl power!" way or a "what but women can't x" way or an objectifying way) fills me with insurmountable joy. Also, I love that the show follows the Magical Girl trend of pretty much admitting that femininity is power, since frilly dresses are stated to be the most "fitting" thing for a Cardcaptor to wear, as without it, they might not be mentally up to the task, and this is an unironic truth rather than a joke(although Sakura is shown to be embarrassed, but it's much more likely that she's simply not used to that kind of gear due to not being rich as Tomoyo is.) or a gag.

I just thought I should tell you this because I know you like Cardcaptor Sakura, and with the crappy episodes that just came out of this show, I think you deserve to read an ask that's about a GENUINE girl power Magical Girl show, instead of yet more Miraculous Ladybug salt or Madoka Magica hate(not that there's anything wrong with either of those two, but it just gets grating after a while.). Overall, I'm looking forward to watching this show, since I've been looking for a Magical Girl show to watch nowadays(I've been meaning to watch Star Twinkle Precure but I can't find the third episode and all of Cardcaptor Sakura is on YouTube now, so.). So excited!

Hey, I’m glad that you’re having fun with it!

Though, just a warning, you might wanna steer clear of the Clear Card arc. It’s a sequel to the original series made waaaay after the original (think the equivalent of Yashahime for Inuyasha, though continuing with the original characters) but omg I hated it.

Anonymous asked:

With the crappy Season 4 episodes that just came out I'm glad I got into Cardcaptor Sakura when I did. Who needs "Marinette needs to make a mistake every episode and learn something from it" when you can have genuine girl power and sweetness incarnate?

Alya could never compete with Tomoyo, I’m just sayin’.

Anonymous asked:

Your comment about white men feeling "disenfranchised" because more shows are about black people and/or women(I say and/or because the two aren't mutually exclusive.), as if there aren't a million other things they could be watching instead is so true! It reminds me of how I was talking to someone recently about the new generation of MLP, in which I stated that we didn't need a male mane pony(spoiler alert: they have one, sadly.), and he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly".

Okay, so far, so good, but this I could chalk up to just unconscious internalized misogyny, especially since he didn't say it in any sort of "way". So I respectfully told him that the scale regarding representation is already not equal and that boys can look up to girls and that a show being girly is not a bad thing and all that stuff that you already know about. Then he responded claiming some stuff about how he keeps trying to pitch stories about straight white male characters and how nobody is accepting his offers and so this means that straight white men are underrepresented compared to everyone else. He even explicitly said, and I quote "White people are actually critically underrepresented in media right now. Especially boys."; I swear to the Goddess above.

At this point I was officially upset as a black girl, to hear this white(and presumably adult) man telling me that he was underrepresented in media compared to me, even saying that the media execs are practicing "quotas and tokenization"(and yes, he repeatedly used those terms for any instance of representation, even when I asked him politely to stop.) by replacing women with men or white people with pocs and are making white men look like incompetent doofuses.

He also kept saying stuff about how shows are always shoehorning people of color in where they don't belong by casting them in settings such as Shakespeare and medieval times when "realistically" there were no people of color during those time periods(which is obviously not true, it's just not what the history books show us.), and made a really insensitive comment about how black children in the USA today don't know the significance of having the first black president because the media supposedly already shows them black people in various professions(despite also claiming he couldn't speak to the "black experience" and yet here he is whitesplaining that shit.).

It got to the point where he was seriously and unironically using the word "blackwashing". When I pointed out to him that white men aren't underrepresented and that it's just his self-centered ego telling him that they are, that the word "blackwashing" isn't a thing, and that mis/underrepresentation in media DOES affect black kids negatively(even citing myself as an example) he went on to claim that I was being tone-deaf and that "blackwashing" is just as bad as whitewashing, and that making Ariel black is just as bad as making Jasmine white.

At this point I had to bang my head on the table and explain to him the difference; his ass still wouldn't get it. Eventually he started saying some really skeevy and hypocritical shite that white men say all the time when whining about how "oppressed and underrepresented" they are: that black people and/or women

(it looks like there might be an ask missing here, in which case, sorry if Tubmlr ate it!)

avor of supporting the commonly believed LIE that "women and/or minority groups don't have as much history worth learning about, so there's no point in focusing on them." He also kept using patronizing, condescending, mansplaining language such as "let me explain it to you" or "you still don't get it do you?", and when he said women had nothing to contribute to society because "oppression" he even had the nerve to tack on "welcome to the unequal society" as if I hadn't been lecturing him about just that.

Because obviously only white men did anything worthwhile or important in history. At this point, I had to block him. I couldn't take it anymore and this was on an MLP site of all places(although I'm probably just as guilty of that part, but at least I wasn't an ass!). I just can't stand white men who "want to be oppressed so bad" but still want to claim that their achievements are more important and deserve to be more prominent. Honestly, so many white men are so fragile the second they're not in the spotlight. I can't help but think that despite all the privilege afforded to their class being a white man sounds like the worst thing ever.

“he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly". “

I might be looking too deep into that but I don’t like the idea of, “Well WE squeezed in a girl and therefore YOUR SHOWS--” like it’s some sort of matter of “fairness” or that boys’ shows aren’t putting in girls out of a genuine like for them but because they “need” one or it’s some sort of obligation.

Also, we need to stop this idea that boys can’t look up to female characters and vice versa for girls. You already said it but yeah.

And yeah, I hear "quotas and tokenization" and I officially tune out of whatever the person is saying, lol. White men are critically underrepresented???? Newsflash, maybe it’s just because others are being represented more??

Just the whole thing about whites being “underrepresented” boggles my mind. White people don’t have some sort of special ability or skill that other races can’t do themselves unless you count the “superpower” of white privilege.

Like, oh my god, all that “whitesplaining” and having to read the word “blackwashing” was physically painful. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know how they got hold of the technology to communicate with you from whatever time period their from, presumably the Stone Age.

Don’t even blame you for blocking them. There’s just a level of absolute... blindness? Arrogance??? That comes with the territory with them sometimes, I swear. You had every right to be upset; other races come to ask for equality and fair representation and suddenly you have these white men (not all obviously but damn) coming by and crying that they’re being oPpReSsEd. U_U

Like, honestly, my father in particular is absolutely that kind of person so I’ve heard that kind of stuff before. it’s all gross.

On a slightly unrelated note (trying to end this with some positivity), I hadn’t even heard about a fifth generation of MLP until I read this, and just wanted to let you know that I really hope you have a really good time with it! Hopefully the male character isn’t... well, you know.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

can we adress how toxic some of these self/harm and suicide fics are?? as someone who has struggled with these issues, treating them as just a way for the two characters to get together, or one character to be the savior who cures someone of their problems? I'm so frickin over it. continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention is a symptom of something major. This is not something i like seeing romanticized. at all.

[CONTENT WARNING FOR ENTIRE POST: heavy discussions of trauma, suicide, self harm, depression, political issue mentions, and eating disorders. Please proceed with care. I am not cutting the post because I think the message is important, so scroll past until my icon disappears <3 Stay safe, My Lovelies.]

Hey Nonny

Okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here because you mention you DO have struggles with these issues, so I’m going to state right up front here and say I AM NOT DISREGARDING YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL. Your view of this topic is valid, and it’s not something I am ever going to say is wrong for you. 

I would like to offer an olive branch, here, Nonny, and give you an alternative take on this, because I’m concerned that perhaps you are still coping with your own struggles and in return, you unwittingly and unintentionally are coming off as unsympathetic to other people’s coping mechanisms.

I KNOW how hard it is to see another view when yours is the only one that seems right, especially after a tragedy or after dealing with heavy things. But all I am asking is for you to temporarily extend some empathy as I discuss my thoughts in this post, and I apologize in advance if I come off as dickish, because, again, it’s hard to see past your own feelings, and I tend to give a “firm but understanding” approach to asks like this. It’s NOT meant to call you our personally. Just asking for an open mind.

I will tackle this ask in a similar fashion to this post here, which talks about shipping vs fetishization so CW for that, as well as like this post here, where we discuss pet peeves. My assumption here is that Nonny is unsure about what “romanticizing” actually entails, and how much this ask is basically Gatekeeping Fiction 101, a thing that’s been going on since the beginning of storytelling. The ask is perceived by me to be emotionally unaware of how unsympathetic it actually sounds, and in turn can unintentionally upset people who engage in these stories.

First thing’s first, Nonny, and I said it before, I GET IT. I understand what you’re going for here, why you feel it’s toxic, and why you think it shouldn’t exist. Here’s the thing, though: what you’re ACTUALLY calling for here is censorship and gatekeeping because YOU PERSONALLY take issue with something, want the fandom specially curated just for you, because it PERSONALLY OFFENDS YOU. And that, it itself, is what’s really toxic, here. Just because YOU are offended, does not mean that it’s not helpful to SOMEONE ELSE, and it’s selfish to make such a demand of people.

Let me explain.

As I mention in the link above re: shipping, many people read and write fics to cope with the reality of their own experiences. Nonny, your experience is NOT the same as someone else’s. Your pain is NOT universal, and you DON’T KNOW what that author has been through; for all you know, they spent 6 months in-hospital after attempting suicide, and they are now simply processing their trauma through storytelling. 

Or, “continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention” ? It’s a VERY REAL THING that ACTUALLY happens in real life, and perhaps it happened to that author, or they want to write an alternate ending to their pain.

Or, “one character to be the saviour who cures someone of their problems?” is something a suicide survivor WISHES someone did for them. Because they feel alone in the world and don’t want to be alone anymore.

These stories are simply escapism for people, either to learn about or share what these mental illnesses do to people, or are the “fantasies” of survivors, of their ideal outcome to their own tragedies. Coping with guilt over the loss of someone they feel they could have saved. The brutal truth about realty.

And sometimes, it is because some people need a good cry and a feel-good happy ending, because real life? Well, it rarely has those happy endings and so few opportunities to let us cry, and sometimes life is just easier when we view it through the eyes of fictional characters. Do you not want someone to save you sometimes Nonny? And I mean metaphorically here, too. Someone to just take all of your hellish burdens off those shoulders for one day. Someone who will come in to save you from yourself. I know I do.

And, well, sometimes, Nonny, it makes people feel less alone in this socially distanced world.

They’re not glorifying that issue Nonny. They’re telling their story.

Here are some thoughts:

Romanticization: Some trendy teen outlet selling a shirt with “mentally diseased” written across it.

NOT Romanticization: A character in a story coming to terms with a diagnosis of mental illness and learning ways to adapt. Their partner is involved 100% and they learn together.

Romanticization: Sherlock merchandise being sold with “I’m a high functioning sociopath” (not mention ableist as all heck)

NOT Romanticization: A character self-harms because of depression, and character B helps the character through their pain and together they get proper therapy and treatment.

Romanticization: Calling yourself “OMG I’m so bipolar!” because it’s trendy.

NOT Romanticization: A clinically depressed author, who survived a suicide attempt, wanting to tell their story through characters the world is already familiar with, and one that a touchy subject can be expressed and understood by other people, because they’re not ready to write the “real” book. Fandom is a safety net for them.

See what I mean Nonny? We don’t KNOW what kind of pain these authors have PERSONALLY been through, and to censor them from having their voices heard and their stories told is just not on for me.

And let me be clear: YES OF COURSE romanticization happens EVERYWHERE. I am not denying that. But your ask is coming off like EVERY STORY EVER WRITTEN is glorification of something. By your logic:

Disabled people shouldn’t write about their disabilities because they’re romanticising themselves.

The authors with medical degrees shouldn’t write realistic med-fics because some where in the world, ONE person MAY HAVE had a similar experience as Character A and B.

Someone broke their foot in ballet so they shouldn’t write a story about a ballet dancer who broke their hip because it may offend ONE ballerina SOMEWHERE in space and time who got sideline at the prime of their career? 

Stories about LGBT+ people shouldn’t be written because homophobes think it’s icky.

We shouldn’t write about wizards because it offends high school catholic pastors (an actual thing that happened)? 

How about cancer stories because kids die of cancer all the time? 

Non-fiction autobiographies about holocaust survivors is not okay.

Science books offend flat earthers, so we shouldn’t write those.

Books about the Big Bang and a 4.5 billion-year-old earth offends creationists, so burn those.

A now-adult child rape victim writing their survival stories to help get their often-in-power abusers behind bars are taboo.

True crime stories from detectives on those cases shouldn’t be told because they weren’t the victim.

Non-fiction in general because someone somewhere may have had that one singular thing happen to them.

How about coping with grief over a parent’s sudden death because I personally might find offense in that since that was a horridly traumatic experience in my life?

Do you see how progressively out of touch this argument is? (the answer to all of these: authors should be allowed to write them, because stories make us human). Your argument leads down the very dangerous path to censorship of books, the internet, and history... to have people only read and learn what someone else dictates, leading to... well.

I’m not trying to be a dick here, Nonny, I’m really not. But I think you’re really missing the entire point of fiction and story telling. I feel you’re failing in the empathy game here, and failing to understand what romanticizing really actually is. 

Whenever I get asks like this, I always feel like the Nonnies don’t really know much about pre-Ao3. I come from “early internet” fandom age, and I’m talking before tags existed. Back when I had to go buy a book at Coles and guess what was in it based on a cover description. No “amazon reviews”. No “harmful content warning” stickers. You just picked up that book, and sometimes you get a sweet story about a friends exploring an alien landscape, and other times WHOOOPS ACCIDENTAL ALIEN SEX I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR. And sometimes, it ended with a dark story about death, and the reality of coping with it.

Twenty years ago, books on the shelves at bookstores and libraries were the only place you could do your reading and they certainly do NOT have tags on them... Modern tagging of stories are a REALLY recent thing introduced probably no less than 15 years ago and was perfected by Ao3 (which was started in 2009). 

These days, there is no excuse if you only consume fanfiction on Ao3. Fics are tagged with proper possible-trigger tags 90% of the time. They have a VERY METICULOUS filtering system. You aren’t being forced to read the fics, you don’t have to read the fics, so use those tag filters, they exist for a reason.

So, with that in mind, I genuinely DON’T GET this attitude about people wanting everything sugar coated and saccharine by default. Especially when you can LITERALLY CURATE YOUR OWN CONTENT. Life isn’t sugar coated. And fiction shouldn’t have to be either. People tag fics with triggers for a reason.

As they used to say back in my early internet days: Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t comment, skip, next story.

And to put this ALL into perspective, so that you don’t think I’m talking out of my ass, I’m going to reveal something here: Do you know what fics I can’t read, Nonny, because they trigger me? Eating disorders. That’s self harm, Nonny, in a very different way. But you know what? I know that those fics DO help other ED people so I’m not going to sit her and tell people NOT to rec or write them. And some of those authors who write those stories are processing their own ED through those stories, healing in their own way. And you know what I do when I see one of those fics? I don’t read them, move on, next story.

I’m sorry if you perceive this as me being harsh with you here, Nonny, and you DON’T have to agree with me and you can block me and never talk to me again, and I’ll understand. As I stated at the beginning, I’m offering an alternative perspective, and helping you to see that some people take comfort in these types of stories.

I think what this all boils down to Nonny, after all of this, and rereading your question a final time to see if I missed covering anything, is that (and feel free to shit on me if I am wrong here) I’m getting the impression – as an unprofessional outsider looking in – that you’re still struggling with your inner demons, whether you realize it or not. The tone and brashness of your ask has me believing this... It feels like it was written after a trigger-moment and you needed to vent AT someone because you are alone, and that hurts my heart so much. I truly hope you find peace in your mind, soon, and I hope you have someone to talk to professionally, or at least a friend. (tw under link, suicidal ideation discussion and links to phone numbers that can help you). I only wish the best for you, my Nonny.

Anyway. I welcome other people to chime in here, respectfully, and let me know if I have the wrong take here. Because I genuinely don’t think I do, but I am not a professional, so my entire thing that took me 3 hours to write here is probably moot. I’m especially interested (on anon in my asks if you’re not comfy with revealing yourselves) on thoughts from other people who have survived the original topics here, as well as any therapists and authors as well.

Take care of yourself Nonny. And please curate your own content for your mental health. Ao3 has an “exclusionary tag system” as well, please use it. *hugs*

[scarlet--wiccan]

Hey, since the maximoffs are generally white-passing (though not always and “passing” is a complicated thing) in the comics, do you think it’s rude/unnecessary to confront someone for making very pale art of them? If I did it I’d try to be nicer about it than I would if they were just blatantly whitewashing a visibly brown or black character, but I see a lot of artist who I feel like might not know and I really wonder if it’s worth it. Do you have any thoughts?

That's complicated. It's not a misrepresentation of the characters in the way that, for instance, a blonde Wanda or a tall, muscular Billy would be.

I can't reasonably fault anybody, fanartist or canon illustrator, for drawing characters on-model.

That said, in the last few years there has been an ongoing conversation in this fandom, at least here on tumblr, about who the Maximoffs are, and the ways in which their general representation is lacking. It's become more common to draw the characters with darker skin or more apparently ethnic features. If you're a fan of Wanda, or Pietro, or any iteration of Young Avengers, it's pretty hard to avoid that conversation, so it's easy to point fingers at anybody who seems to be ignorant to, or is intentionally ignoring, that trend. If I'm reading your message correctly, you seem to be asking if that trend represents a truer, more valid version of the characters that we should all adhere to, and if it is necessarily problematic to do otherwise.

I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I believe that disrupting the representation of all Roma people as white-passing, or even interchangeable with white Europeans, is crucial. Setting aside the fact that the diaspora intersects with just about every racial group, not just white people, the broad whitewashing of Roma communities in media erases our origins and occludes the fact that the mistreatment of Roma people is a race issue. On a wider scale, I believe that this manufactured ignorance contributes to systemic antiromanyism, but within the sphere of pop culture, specifically, it allows people to get away with obviously racist art and writing, and it's why Romani history and identity are viewed as disposable whenever people adapt these comics for the screen.

On the other hand, I'm deeply frustrated by the tokenization and co-opting of Roma identity that this fandom performs. This may sound hypocritical, considering how much of my blog revolves around my edits, but I see a lot of folks on tumblr who draw brown Wandas, make fancasts with Romani actors, and, like me, photoshop comic book panels, but not a lot of people who demonstrate any understanding of antiromanyism, or better yet, material allyship. In everybody's haste to earn diversity points, they've produced a lot of unintentionally racist content. I've seen a lot of cultural tourism, inappropriately co-opted activist work, and even virtual brownfacing in the form of RP accounts. No one, myself included, should feel entitled to dictate what a true or valid image of Wanda looks like, but especially not a community of people who think that having a folder of Hiba Abouk gifs and a Wikipedia list of common chib phrases makes it okay to racefake for your MCU roleplay.

Anyways, when it comes to fanart, you're going to have to rely on your own subjective judgement, and try to think about more specific issues than "whitewashing" because these characters just don't fit into that idea. Content that's derived from the movies is complicit in erasure. Content that is derived from the comics, but which applies lighter and straighter hair to Billy or Wanda is complicit in eurocentric standards, and the trend of gradually lightwashing characters of color, and even white Jewish characters. Content which employs racist stereotypes is not better than canon "white-passing" depictions. Cultural appropriation is still cultural appropriation, even if the character you're drawing is a member of that culture. Many popular writers and artists have a history of ignoring or shutting down dialogues about representation, even harassing people like me.

Hopefully, thinking about that stuff gives you a more clear idea of what to look out for, what's worthy of confrontation, and how to articulate your problems with a specific person or their content.

I know this ran longer than was strictly necessary, but I wanted to roll your message together with a similar question about whitewashing:

The Maximoffs weren't conceived, written, or designed in such a way as to be intentionally whitewashed, at least not originally-- their background was established via a retcon, at least a decade after their first appearance. Up until that point, they were generic, apparently white, Central Europeans. The fact that they are treated as interchangeably white and Roma is both product and perpetuation of the broad whitewashing of European Romani that I described earlier. Nobody's going out of their way to make sure the twins always have at least one white ancestor in order to justify "whitewashing" them, rather, nobody has ever truly envisioned them as people of color in the first place.

People will perform all kinds of mental gymnastics in order to minimize the Maximoffs' ancestry, or come up with reasons why it makes the most sense for them to look white-- invoking Erik as the father; dredging up the short-lived Robert Frank retcon; or, for Billy and Tommy, claiming that their resurrection somehow erased their genetic and ancestral ties to Wanda, even though the text implies the very opposite. I'll let you in on a secret, though-- these characters aren't real people, and their stories aren't immutable truths. If anybody, fans, writers, or artists, is making leaps of logic to avoid making comics more inclusive, it's not because their hands are tied by the unbreakable chains of canon, it's because they don't want comics to be more inclusive.

Also, I could be off the mark here, but I don't think I am-- Sinti people are Roma. Different parts of the diaspora have different names for themselves, but are all part of the same larger population. It's mostly a regional thing, as I understand. If you want my opinion, it doesn't matter what version of the story you go with-- whether Magda, Marya or Natalya is their birthmother, Marya and Django raised them. They have direct Roma ancestry either way, and they were raised by a Roma family. It's hard to say exactly where in the world the Maximoffs lived, or what specific label they might have identified with, but the twins would likely identify with the community they were raised in, be that Sinti or Servitka or Kalerash or whatever else. If I'm being honest I don't think that distinction is relevant for non-Roma to make.

I've said this before, but I don't really care what the characters look like, and I'm not interested in playing identity politics with fictional stories that were created by and for American gadje. Obviously, I love these characters as a fan, and I do have my own vision, no pun intended, of who they are and how I'd like to see them represented, but I worry that these conversations are unproductive. I hope you guys understand that I'm not out here trying to canonize an arbitrary idea of what Jewish Romani people look like. American superhero media has a long history of exploiting, misrepresenting, and erasing Romani history. I want more people to understand that, and understand the material consequences it has, and think about how comics, American culture, and art in general can deconstruct this specific mechanism of racism. It's not about any one character's identity, and it's not about my creative vision.

[gaemkyuu]

The Present

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault/rape, but not overtly descriptive.  A/N: As much as I like writing fluffy pieces or glimpses in time, I really wanted this series to have some sort of progression. A lot of the feelings and emotions that are in this piece was taken from personal experience or the experience of someone close to me. In no way do I claim that all experiences are similar to the one disclosed in this piece of fictional writing. Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece on Charlie Gillespie. In no way do I claim or declare that Charlie’s portrayal is accurate to real life. I do however, own Teagan Valencia :)

Masterlist  *now taking requests ;)

The Teagan Valencia Series: The Meeting  / The Fight / The Proposal / The Present / The Recovery / The Future

***Please note that sensitive topics are addressed in the writing and may cause discomfort or trigger readers. If subjects such as non-consensual sexual engagement, rape or sexual assault cause discomfort, please refrain from reading the story.

The Present

“Cut! That’s a wrap on this scene, great job everyone! Let’s break for lunch” Kenny announced to the crew. He smiled at Teagan releasing a big sigh. As awesome as this all was, it could still be tiring!

“You’re doing a great job Kenny. Seriously, I can’t wait for the second season” Teagan gave Kenny a hug from behind his chair.

“I should be giving you a giant hug Teagan!” Kenny stood up from his directing chair, moving his way to Tegan. “Congratulations on your engagement!” He gave her a big bear hug. “Now let me see the ring!” Teagan showed her his hand and he inspected the ring gleefully. Although they had gotten engaged two weeks ago, this was their first week filming and the first time Kenny saw her since the night of the party.

“I told you I had good taste Kenny” Charlie came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, perching his chin on my shoulders.

“Honey, you didn’t pick out the ring, you just picked it up” Teagan joked as Kenny released her hand. Turning to give Charlie a quick playful peck on the lips, Teagan saw the playful smirk kneeing he had a clever come back.

“I’m not talking about the ring, I’m talking about the person” he smirked kissing her back playfully. “Are you joining us for lunch?” His eyes hopeful.

“Well since you can’t leave the set for a birthday lunch, I guess so” she dramatically sighed acting like she was disappointed.

“Hey! I’m taking you out for dinner! Remember? Birthday dinner?” Teagan’s dramatic façade broke and Charlie realized he fell for it. “Sometimes I wonder why you're not the one in front of the camera”.

Charlie kissed her on the cheek and led her to lunch with the rest of the cast. As usual Maddy already had the designated brownie plate that both of them shared from and Savannah was able to join them as she finished in hair and make up. Everyone had a fun time chatting and hanging out at lunch but they had to continue filming. Charlie, Owen and Jeremy had to go get touched up and a new wardrobe on, but he left Teagan in the company of Booboo and Savannah, as Maddy went to go take a nap. 

“Hey Savannah, we are going to need you and Maddi on set soon” the three of them jumped at the sudden interruption from the new Production Assistant. His eyes piercing and intense staring at Teagan. “I’m James the new Production Assistant and you are?”

“I’m Charlie’s fiancé, I’m just visiting him on set today.” Teagan smiled back politely despite feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. She came to understand that this was the new PA that kept coming up in their group chat. It was no secret that a majority of the cast who had interacted with him felt slightly uneasy. Owen had been changing in the wardrobe trailer when he “popped out of nowhere and scared the living shit” out of Owen. Jeremy had been sneaking onto the set to take a nap in Julie’s infamous bed when he found James lurking around in the dim lighting. There were a few other stories that Teagan remembered, but she waved it off as James being misunderstood as he was new to the cast.

“Oh yeah! Sure! I’ll go get Maddi” Savannah stood up quickly getting ready to film.  

“Well ladies, it was a fun lunch, but I’m done on set and need to head over to a photo shoot” Booboo smiled collecting their lunch mess and glancing at his watch. “Which starts in an hour, shit. I better get going. Happy Birthday again Teagan, I wish I could be there tonight!”

“Don’t worry about it Booboo, let’s take a raincheck” Booboo gave her a big hug and waved them goodbye. “Hey I’ll come with you since I’m going to hang out in Charlie’s trailer” she stopped Savannah getting out of her chair too. “As much as I love watching him act, I know he has the Switch in his trailer and I want to play Mario Kart”

Savannah giggled at her friend and the two of them noticed James still standing there. “I’ll go grab Maddi if you want to let Kenny know we are on our way” Savannah smiled at the PA, who simply gave a curt nod, never taking his eyes off of Teagan. The two girls waited until he was no longer in their line of sight before moving towards the trailers. “Between you and me, I heard he’s being let go at the end of the week”

“What? Why?” Savannah looked incredulously at Teagan, shocked at her response. “Okay, I know he’s kinda weird and freaking people out, but what if it’s because he’s new?“

“He was hired last minute because of some pregnancy complications our actual PA Sarah had. She was cleared by the doctor to come and work yesterday, but she won’t be able to be here until the end of the week. We told Kenny we would much rather have her here and not James” Savannah shuddered as she said his name. Teagan didn’t know that he made everyone feel this uncomfortable.

“Who hired him?” She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because someone had thought he was a good fit. There must have been some sort of misunderstanding!“

“Netflix kinda threw him in since it was so last minute! He’s from Vancouver, so it made things easier” Savannah shrugged stopping in front of Charlie’s trailer. “Now go relax birthday queen, we’ll come get you in a few hours when we’ve wrapped and we can get ready at my apartment!”. 

Teagan smiled and hugged her friend, entering the trailer shortly after. She was greeted with the familiar scent of pine and cologne, just like Charlie. His trailer was neat, save for the sweater or shirt tossed here or there, and his acoustic guitar propped up against the couch. She opened his fridge pleased to find it stocked with water bottles, knowing well that Charlie mostly drank from his blue hydro flask to reduce the amount of plastic in the environment. After grabbing a bottle, she headed to the couch of the trailer where she plopped down and grabbed his Nintendo switch. She played a couple rounds of Mario Kart, drinking water when she felt a sudden sleepiness descend her. Putting the switch away, she took off her shoes and clothes opting to wear Charlie’s orange hoodie and black sweats for her nap. Glancing at the clock, she realized she had about two hours before they would start wrapping up for the day and thought a little cat nap wouldn’t do any harm. Plus, Savannah knew where she would be in case she didn’t pick up her phone. With that Teagan drifted off to sleep on the couch.

Teagan didn’t expect to wake up on the floor of the trailer with both arms restrained to the leg of the desk. Confused for a moment, she found herself restrained like a hostage in a movie, her hands tied with heavy and thick rope and a cloth restraining her mouth. Looking around, she recognized she was still in Charlie’s trailer and thought this was a cruel joke that her friends were playing on her. To her horror, she realized it wasn’t a prank when she saw James shutting the blinds and locking the trailer. She took a deep breath to scream, but quickly stopped when James noticed that she was awake, unsheathing his pocket knife.

“You're so pretty” he whispered, drawing close so that he was inches away from her face. She watched tensely as his eyes scanned her face with this crazy look in his eyes. “If you scream I will hurt you” he whispered as he untied the cloth muffling her mouth. Teagan was too afraid to say anything as James started to laugh. “You did it James, you got a pretty one” he smacked his head twice dropping the knife by Teagan’s foot. As he paced the trailer muttering to himself, she tried to inch the knife slowly to her with her foot, but this caught her captor’s attention. “Oh no you don’t!” he lunged for the knife as Teagan tried to kick him away, her leg getting nicked in the scuffle.

“Help!” she cried, but was quickly muffled by one hand on her mouth, the other holding the knife pressed up against her throat.

“I told you not to scream!” he yelled at her. Teagan began to cry in fear as she realized the man was mentally unstable and out of control. “Now I don’t trust you!” he gagged her with the cloth that was previously muffling her pulling at her hair in the process. Teagan tensed as he pressed the knife back to her throat. “I’m serious. I will cut you if you scream” he threatened holding her jaw with his free hand, forcing her to look at him. As more tears began to fall from her eyes, he cooed and shushed her hoping that she would stop. “Stop being sad. You aren’t pretty when you’re sad. I can make you happy. Let’s do that!” she trembled as his face lit up as though he had come up with a brilliant idea. He suddenly stood up and smacked his head again, muttering to himself incoherently. Teagan had no idea what to do. If she made a ruckus someone might be able to hear her, but the man in front of her might act on his words. She winced as he bumped the leg that he nicked.

“Did I hurt you? Oh no... Dammit you’ve damaged the merchandise James... You made her ugly! No. no. I can fix it. I can fix it” Teagan watched as he cursed at himself, dropping down to her side, yanking off Charlie’s sweats. The cut wasn’t deep by any means, but it was there and about two inches in length. However, it left Teagan pant less on the floor of the trailer with James staring at her half naked form, hands shaking as he drew nearer to her. Teagan knew what was to come as she struggled against her restraints and he pinned her legs down, approaching parts of her body she only let Charlie touch or see. Tears started to flow freely from her eyes as she protested through her gag, shaking her head no and trying to yell for help. James didn’t care anymore that Teagan had become vocal again, as he was too focused on indulging his own fantasies. Teagan cried out desperately and squeezed her eyes shut, wishing for this whole thing to go away. A banging on the door interrupted both of their thoughts as they froze. James terrified that he had been caught and Teagan hopeful that someone had come to end this. 

“Teags! It’s Owen, open up! You alright in there?” 

Teagan realized this was her only chance to end this and she screamed the loudest Help she could despite being gagged. She was sure Owen wouldn’t be able to make out what she was saying, but the fact that it was a scream would have alerted him to something important. The banging on the door became steady and stronger as if he was trying to break the door down. They could hear him screaming for help and speaking to someone over the phone. Quickly a commotion began to gather outside the trailer and James paled.

“This is all your fault! You stupid bitch! I told you to be quiet” he slapped her hard across the face, a burning sensation residing in her cheek. “You were supposed to be quiet!” he slapped her again on the opposite cheek, but this caused the back of her head to hit the leg of the desk that restrained her hands. A ringing in Teagan’s ears overcame all of her senses and she couldn’t focus on anything else. She felt him roughly cut her restraints and drag her to a standing position, but she couldn’t stand. She felt dizzy and nauseous at the sudden motion as the ringing in her ears started to subside. James held the knife against her throat, his back to the wall waiting for people to break into the trailer.

With a final bang, security was able to bust the door open, two of them filing into the tiny trailer, Owen standing behind them. There was Teagan, a knife being held to her throat, a swollen cheek, her underwear discarded on the floor and the orange hoodie preserving whatever parts of her body that it could. She felt the knife press into her neck as James and the security officers yelled back and forth at one another. She could feel a sharp stinging sensation and warm liquid languidly make its way down her neck. The yelling intensified and so did the pain. Teagan could barely hear Owen’s attempts to comfort her and assure her over the noise. She couldn’t understand what was happening, but James’ body tensed and convulsed, pushing the knife slightly deeper into her for a moment and then collapsing to the floor. In a rush of motion and bodies, the two security officers rushed to James’ shocked body on the floor and Owen rushed to Teagan, quickly untying the pink hoodie that was a part of his costume to help cover her up.

“Teagan! Teagan look at me, are you alright?” Owen’s voice snapped her back to reality as his soft anxious blue eyes searched hers.

“...Owen?” his name came out as a tremble followed by a fresh stream of tears as she lunged into his chest. He caught her and held on to her just as tight as she held onto him. Owen’s heart broke as she held onto him for dear life. He picked her up, never letting her go and moving her out of the trailer as the security guards handled the rest. As Owen exited, the small crowd of castmates and crew that had gathered in the alley gasped at the sight of Owen and Teagan. Savannah rushed over to throw her jacket over her legs to help Owen’s pink hoodie, giving her soft rubs on her back as she sobbed into Owen’s chest.

“Teagan?! Teagan! Oh my god, what the fuck happened?!” Teagan’s face came out of hiding as she heard Charlie’s voice. Their eyes met as Charlie sprinted over to her, pushing people out of the way. Owen quickly handed Teagan to Charlie, both of them crying and Kenny arriving at the scene with Maddi. Sadness befell their faces at the scene, but Kenny quickly took charge and started dispersing the crowds, giving orders to others to help remedy the situation. Teagan sobbed uncontrollably in Charlie’s arms and he offered as much comfort and solace as he could. The paramedics soon arrived and Charlie had no choice but to hand her over to them, but he followed the paramedics to their van with Owen and Savannah in tow.

Along the way, Owen had explained how he had come to find her. It turns out that Owen wasn’t needed for the final shots of the day, so he went to find Teagan before changing. Savannah had mentioned that Teagan had gone to hangout in Charlie’s trailer, so naturally Owen made his way over. He didn’t expect the muffled sounds of desperate screams and cries to intensify as he neared Charlie’s trailer. He knew something was wrong, but the door was locked, and after confirming that she weren’t doing something else, he began to yell for help and try to break the door down. As one team of paramedics checked on Teagan, Kenny asked the other team to check on Owen as he used physical force to break the door down with the security team. Therefore, he wanted to make sure Owen didn’t hurt himself in the adrenaline of it all. The entire time Teagan sat on the stretcher and gurney, covered with a blanket, Charlie held onto her hand tightly. Her tears subsided but everyone could tell she was still shaken. The rest of the cast members who were still on set were escorted to their vehicles and told to return home for the day. Filming had to come to a halt until they were cleared to run again. 

“Mrs. Valencia, I’m going to need you to confirm some details of your assault so we can properly attend to you” the female police officer spoke to Teagan with an apologetic looking female paramedic at her side. “Sir, we are going to have to ask you to let us speak to her privately” 

Charlie kissed her forehead and went to let go of her hand, which Teagan protested.

“No please. He can stay. Please, I need him” her voice initially came out strong and desperate, but fell to a quiet whisper as she finished speaking. The police officer made eye contact with one another and then with Charlie, who returned closer to her side.

“Very well. Mrs. Valencia, did your assailant force any penetration on you?” the police officer got right to the point, staring deeply into Teagan’s eyes. Charlie tensed, preparing himself to hear the answer he didn’t want to hear. Teagan hesitantly shook her head no. “Did he force himself upon you that can be considered sexual assault” she bowed her head, ashamed of what she was admitting, and softly nodded. “I’m sorry Mrs. Valencia, I’m going to need you to tell me a little more than that” the police officer looked at her apologetically, knowing fully that this was a difficult conversation to have. “We need to have a verbal confirmation.”

“It was just his fingers. No kissing or anything more” Teagan whispered, her eyes filling with tears once more. The police officer thanked her and nodded to the paramedic who finished cleaning her cuts and bandaging them up. Charlie held her hand the entire time, rubbing soft circles on her back. After the paramedic was done, she gave the two of them a moment alone.

“I’m so sorry Charlie” Teagan whimpered, crying all over again. She bowed her head in shame and embarrassment, feeling hopeless and defeated.

“Teagan, look at me” and when she refused to lift her head, he placed a finger under her chin to lift it. Teagan looked at his eyes full of determination, anger and conviction. “Don’t you ever apologize for what happened to you.” his voice was stern, unwavering despite the emotions he felt inside. “None of this is your fault. Don’t think for a second that you are responsible in some way shape or form.” His eyes bore an intensity that Teagan only saw when something upset him, in which she couldn’t blame him.

“Do you still love me?” she tried to be strong as she spoke, but her tears got the best of her. Charlie’s eyes suddenly became soft, concerned and worried. She couldn’t bear to look at him as she felt that he may have been disappointed in her.

“Of course I do Teags. Nothing could ever change that.” her tears softly fell down her face as Charlie pulled her in for a tight hug, peppering her with kisses. “I’m so sorry Teags, you must have been so scared” he rubbed her back hoping to provide more comfort and assurance. “I’ll love you no matter what. This doesn’t change anything, Mrs. Gillespie” the last part of his comment made her chuckle through her tears and pull away to look at him. “I can’t promise you and say things are going to be the same from here on out, but I can promise you that I’m not leaving you. Ever.” He had hoped that his eyes conveyed his commitment to her and she confirmed this with a gentle kiss on his lips. Charlie was careful to kiss her back knowing that she was still in pain from the assault.

This was a hurdle that they were going to face together. Teagan knew deep down that this event had caused serious damage and she couldn’t quite come to terms with what happened. However, she knew that Charlie was going to be with her and oddly enough, that was all she needed right now.

[rpbetter]

Hey there, check out this pinned post first!

Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.

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foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

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y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

[vore-scientist]

Bookish (safe soft willing platonic GT M/f vore)

Ok a little explanation is needed for this: IT'S NOT PART OF THE NORMAL MYSTIC WOODS. 

IT'S AN AU+ CROSSOVER SILLINESS

Been talking with @vixen525 (dA, tumblr) and we’ve been talking about fun crossovers with our worlds/characters and this came out of that! 

Contains: safe, soft, non-sexual, willing M/f GT vore No warnings. 

To set you up: Yonah, for whatever reason it’s not important for this story, got transported to the dimension/world of TerraSyor (which belongs to @vixen525 ), but in the process suffered memory loss (bc I wanted to be cliche as fuck and it makes things so much fun!!!). Giants in TerraSyor are called Syors or Syorians which are two subspecies. Check their dA for more information. They are a LOT larger than Yonah. But anyways. That’s kinda the set up, other things you need to know are explained in the story. 

---

“Can you stop pacing? It’s giving me a Syor sized headache.” 

On a desk in the Office of the Giant King was a small desk! And on that desk was an even smaller one! A very odd sight. Even for a very odd King, but it had been like this for about a month now. Ever since a mysterious stranger appeared in the Ruby Isles and had been taken by King Connor to be the new personal guard to his Chief Royal Advisor of Politics. The Small desk belonged to this stranger. The smaller desk to the advisor. And she was getting a bit frustrated. 

For the stranger, who’s name was Yonah HaEsh, was nervous for what she felt was a bit of a silly reason. He was pacing around his desk and stroking his dark goatee, running his hands through his long curly black hair. It was in theory, his “payday” but he refused to take any normal payment. He felt that the generosity and situation he found himself in as a new guard who had all his needs taken care of, and as someone who viewed himself in a temporary position until he found his way back to his home dimension, he had no need for money. But there were other needs. Well not needs, but wants. 

And yet Yonah was still having second thoughts. 

“It just feels wrong… paying someone to let me eat them!” he said for the hundredth time since being offered and him accepting said offer. 

Yonah didn’t remember much, something about the trip through dimensions had rattled his head. But he knew a few things. He was half-giant. Though even that was in doubt as giants, or Syor/Syorians, were more than twice his size, much more. He was a puny 23.5ft and the taller Syor/ians were close to 100! He knew he was a wizard, which was in no doubt given the crazy outfit he had been wearing upon his violent arrival on the island. He now wore a custom royal guard uniform, but he kept on his wizard hat. He knew that his name was Yonah. He knew a few other details, like magical knowledge and… that humans tasted really good. That he liked to eat them. 

He also knew that unlike Syor/ians, he didn’t have the same desire to eat humans, just that he liked to, so why shouldn’t he? He’d eaten Naomi, the aforementioned advisor, a few times, but she really belonged to the King. It felt oddly like she was cheating on her king when he ate her. 

Due to the extreme fancy for humans that Syor/ians had, it turns out the castle had, on retainer, a number of humans paid to be safely eaten. Most did it for the quick coin, but a few stuck around. Apparently this was such a human. One who at least kind of enjoyed this job. That didn’t make Yonah feel any better about it. But he also hadn’t eaten that morning, in anticipation and out of courtesy to what would be his guest. So he was hungry. 

“Can’t I just eat you? Or I can get a new robe!” he said. 

“She’s already been paid, and some variety is good for you,” Naomi glanced up briefly and smiled at him, trying to reassure him. Her new guard was so strange. He was fiercely loyal from the start, wicked smart, and strong, but he had a strange temper and the most interesting things threw him off. Like getting to eat someone! The first time he ate her he’d fallen apart, sobbing like he’d lost a loved one. Wild, since It was perfectly safe, the king had the finest Terran Artificers craft protective amulets. She wore a very stunning one on her wrist, a large silver bracer engraved with depictions of her island, complete with a golden, magical gemstone as the sun. 

A knock on the door to the office signalled the arrival of Yonah’s “payment”. Naomi snapped her fingers and the door’s protective wards momentarily lifted and a uniformed Syor came in, bowing as they did. 

In their hand was a platform, upon which was a cushion, but from this distance it was hard to see the human. It still felt like being served up food, on a silver platter. 

The Syor stopped at the desk and glared down at the much smaller giant. Like Yonah had stolen their treat. But yonah wasnt really paying attention to the guard trying to intimidate him. He was focused on the human.

A young woman lounged on the cushion, paying no heed to what was going on at all, and her bespectacled eyes were engrossed in a book. She had on little clothing but it was extremely fancy, and her hair was done up with golden bands. Those reeked of magic and Yonah knew those composed her protective amulet. She also had a small bowl of candied nuts and fresh berries that must be balanced with magic next to her. No, the bowl was set atop a pile of books and a few others were tucked around her. 

She looked up and down at Yonah, her eyes getting wide but not in horror, but in a bit of afronted shock. After taking another candy she spoke to Naomi. 

“I’m getting that first edition signed copy of The Chronicles of Percival The DragonMancer, right? Otherwise I’d rather be eaten by drooly over here” she indicated the Syor that swallowed guiltily. 

Yonah couldn’t really blame her. Being eaten by a Syor or Syorian had to be much different than by him. He was so much smaller! It must be so much more confining, and being swallowed down… If it was a painful effort for him, it must be awful for the one he was eating. He imagined being swallowed by one of this world’s giants was still terrifying in it’s own way, but not so suffocating. 

“Sure are!” Naomi didn’t even look up from her papers. 

The woman motioned to be placed down on the desk and the Syor obliged. Then they gave her a quick sniff and even dared a lick with the tip of their tongue against her back and left without another word. She should be perfectly safe, this was the king’s office, and the only others in the room were a new but trusted guard and the king’s best friend. Ok best friend is an understatement for what Naomi truly was. She and the king were as close as two could be, they loved each other very much, though they were not romantically or sexually involved. 

Stretching and putting her book down the woman stepped onto the desk to get a look at the one who was to eat her. Short and stocky, She had the build of someone who got plenty of exercise living amongst giants but also was given all the sweets she desired any time of the day. And the attitude of someone who thought nothing of being eaten, but was a little wary of the prospect for the first time in a while. She was sizing Yonah up and her calculations weren’t leading to kind results. And she was good at math. While she lived the life of Extremely luxury given to a spoiled pet, she was horrifyingly well read and used her pay for the finest tutors in the land. Some of them were Syor/ian who were more than happy to be paid with getting to eat her. 

She also did not fail to notice the trepidations of the half-giant that knelt down next his desk, and waited for her to approach, which she did. But she did not climb up onto his lap, not her job to initiate, she was their snack. She literally had to do nothing and she got everything she wanted. 

“Oh, I left my glasses on, I’ll be right back-” she turned but then stopped when Yonah spoke. 

“Ehm, hi,” Yonah said, then decided he didn’t want to be so awkward. He wasn’t a teenager asking out a schoolyard crush. “My name is Yonah, and your name is?”

It occurred to her that not many of the Syor/ians that she was presented to asked her name. How many even knew it? She turned around to see the kind brown eyes behind glasses much thicker than her own. 

“Danielle, Dani,” she said. 

“So, ehm, do you like books?” he asked. 

Oh, a talker. Some liked to have conversations though most just shoved her down their gullets. It was at least a nice attempt to acknowledge her personhood. Not that she really minded, she was living her best life. 

“You bet! I think I’ve read more than nerdy naomi,” she said, finding herself being a bit more chatty than she thought she’d be. 

“Hey! All you do it read when you’re not in a giant’s gut! I got to read documents all day long, so sue me if I dont have the time or energy for every fictional book in the damn library!” Naomi was somehow able to concentrate on her work and still give a brilliant comeback. 

“Anyways,” Yonah said, getting Dani’s attention, “I also like to read! And I think I might have some books you would like.”

“I’m already paid for today,” said Dani, she was interested but was sure there was some ulterior motive. The giants loved to flatter her with gifts, hoping for extra time, but she never gave it. She knew how delicious she was. 

“I’m still unsure about eating you, but I wouldn’t want you to waste your time. Here,” he took off his head and Dani looked genuinely surprised and curious when he stuck his hand in and pulled out a selection of novels. 

“I don’t know if you’ve been told, but I’m from another world entirely, and apparently my hat is full of books!” Yonah held out his hand with the books to Dani who lost all her professional aura and took them all, taking in their covers, which had art styles wholly unfamiliar to her

They were completely unfamiliar to her, in fact the titles were half nonsense. 

‘Stars Without Number, The Tetremalin Time Bomb. A Captain Alfred and the Mystery of the Sigma Quadrant Adventure’ and  ‘The Fantastic Romantic Escapades of The Fantabulous Darington and The One that Got Away’ and ‘MythAdventures: The Awakened Automaton, a Gaslamp Steamfantasy for All Ages’ and one that was not a book but bound with twine titled ‘The Ice Princess, The Official Scripts by the Silken Breath Order, episodes 1-10, with hand-written edits’

“I can have these!?” she couldn’t believe, books no one else had! Books from another world with brand new stories and possibly new genres. Her heart could barely contain itself in her chest. 

Yonah looked at Naomi who gave him a knowing glance. He should really reel it in on the gifts. “You can have one, for now,” he said. A few memories trickled in. “I personally loved MythAdventures, it’s got a fantastic twist.”

Dani smiled, and returned the other books into his hand, but with a big smile she hugged the MythAdventures, she sniffed it deeply. It even smelled like far away. 

Without another word she returned to her cushion, but instead of settling down she took her bowl of candies and returned to Yonah, clambering onto his knees, settling down. It was very adorable and Yonah couldn’t help but smile.  

“Why dont I read it to you?” he asked, adjusting to sit criss cross, so she was a bit sprawled out on his skirt. Then without warning he took something from a pouch at his side and dabbed it on his tongue and said words in a language she didn’t know. Which was frustrating, she knew a lot of languages 

Woah! A burst of grey smoke spread around her, sourced from the half-giant. Only he was not giant any longer. He was human sized. Or nearly, and she was still in his lap. She knew shrinking spells existed but this was not any she had read about. Also, up until now she was certain he had been humoring her about not eating her and just feeling sorry for her and so giving her extra books. But he definitely couldn’t eat her at this size. She also loved to be read to. 

“Yes please!” she handed him back the book. He adjusted his glasses and got more comfortable, with Dani laying across his legs. Even shrunk, he was still a comfy spot, he was chubby, very soft and warm. 

“Would you like a honey nut?” she held up the bowl, “they are almost as tasty as me!” 

Yoanh laughed and took a few. They were indeed tasty. The honey stuck to his teeth and Dani giggled as he licked it from his fangs like a dog licking peanut butter from the roof of its mouth. Finally his mouth was candy free and he opened the book. 

“Oh shoot, this is book 3, I’m so sorry,” he said, “I think I have the first two but,” he reached into his hat again and winced. Then he dismissed his reduction and pulled out two giant sized books. Giant sized for Yonah, so a bit oversized. Dani looked amused, as if she thought this was his plan all along. 

“That’s alright! Why don’t you eat me and read to me, the Syorians have done that a few times, and it was nice.”

Eat her and read to her? Why did that stir a memory? Why was he sure he’d done that for someone else. Someone important to him. The thought was so tempting, even though he kinda planned to just let her continue to sit in his lap. Then His stomach grumbled a bit. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“It’s my job silly! And if you read to me it would be much less like a job!” she hopped off his lap and returned her new book, her bowl of candy, and her glasses to her cushion. This time when she returned it was to climb back onto him. “Alright! Ready to be eaten!” 

If not for her eagerness Yonah might not have proceeded to pick her up and after giving her a playful sniff, shove her into his mouth. 

While a Syor/ian could fit an entire human in their mouth, Yonah couldn’t. Not even close. Most of her body was dangling out. With her minimal amount of clothing yonah got a massive amount of flavor and she had been right. She was delicious. And Yonah did not want to torture her for so long so He worked her to the back of his mouth and tipped his head back to begin swallowing. Next time… next time he would spend more time tasting her. 

Despite not having all his memories, Yonah knew he was proud to be half-giant, though as his throat stretched and the human’s form pressed against his windpipe as he forced her down into his esophagus, he kinda wished he was fully giant. It was painful, in kind of a good way, and he kept swallowing. Eventually her feet disappeared into his throat, and with that her hands entered his stomach, then the rest of her! She was super filling. And that was one reason he was glad to be half-giant, surely for whatever a full giant was, and he was certain his mother was one, eating a single human couldn’t be so satisfying. He slumped with a content sigh and rubbed his belly. 

This just felt... right. He was full and so so so happy. 

“Hey! Aren't you gonna read? If im gonna be so squished I'd like you to keep your word”

Yonah snapped back and also looked at Naomi. He was on duty! He was on guard! Yes this office was extremely secure but he couldn’t completely slack off. And a full belly seemed to lull him a bit. This alarmed him and most of his sleepiness went away. 

Naomi had watched the entire thing, for she was curious as to how such a small giant could swallow a human, but he did. It looked uncomfortable for him but clearly enjoyable. And seeing his stomach become pleasantly full… very different from when Syor/ians ate folks. Except for how pleased Yonah was with himself, that was exactly like a Syor/ian. 

“Yes yes, I… you taste delightful Dani!” he said, back to being a bit awkward with compliments. 

He looked down at his middle and saw the slight signs of a human being trapped inside his gut. The small occasional tremors as she tried to find a comfortable position, and a few times little dents that corresponded to when he could feel her stretch out. He was just tickled peachy watching, feeling. Until he figured that was enough time and he reached for the book. 

As he read he felt Dani relax, but not to the point where she was going to fall asleep. Oh no, she stayed wide awake as Yonah read to her. He did at some point get some water, as his throat got extremely dry, telling Dani what was about to happen so she wouldn’t freak out. She said the cool water felt refreshing! So that was nice. 

There was a notable moment when he took a break to talk to Naomi. She needed a bit of a break too, her eyes were starting to get tired from looking at documents for so long. First she just summarized in words a few of the documents, good practice to tell Connor later. In the month since Yonah’s arrival she had started to go over things briefly with her guard before Connor, to organize things in her head a bit better. Even if Yonah didn’t understand their politics it was very helpful. 

Plus she was super curious about Dani. Or rather, about Yonah having eaten Dani. Naomi knew how weird and different it was to be eaten by Yonah, and Yonah had been very descriptive about how it felt, that he could very acutely tell even minor movements. That he could place his hand on his stomach and feel whoever was inside! This was something Syor/ians could not do, simply because of their size. 

“I don’t mind you touching, but Dani might,” he said, poking himself a bit, causing Dani to stir. 

He had been poking and rubbing his stomach at fairly regular intervals while he read but Dani was still not used to such intrusions upon her space. Syor/ian stomachs were much more cavernous, no such effects at all. Naomi was entranced, and then a bit horrified upon a tremor, and the slightest of movements, especially since before seeing it, yonah just seemed like he’d eaten a good meal, not a person. You could not tell if a Syor/rian had eaten someone, not at all.

“Naomi’s gonna, em, examine me, and you might feel her pressing into my stomach, if that’s ok!” Yonah asked. Naomi was sitting on his thigh as Yonah sat crossed legged, but she stood up now.

“Hmmm, yeah that’s fine!” Dani said, shifting again. Hmmm. Maybe. She pressed a hand to what she knew was the “front” of the stomach.

Naomi gasped as she saw the movement and with only a little hesitation placed her hands at the spot and leaned in.

By the guards of the underworld That felt wrong! That had to be an elbow or a hand. It was obviously a person trapped underneath the layers of fat and flesh. And she could feel as Dani shifted even a little. The best way to describe it is like feeling floating ribs. It was unnerving so she stopped after only a short time.

“I’m, going to get a snack and get back to work.” she said. 

“Not without my escort!” Yonah picked her up and climbed down the desk. They could easily call a servant but Yonah needed to stretch his legs. He couldn’t have a snack since Dani was his snack, but a walk to the kitchens was very much needed. 

Once they got back Naomi dived into her paperwork again. Yonah sat back down at his desk and continued to read. 

And when his time with her was up, he poked at Dani again, and she let out a long groan.

“But you’re not done!!!” she pounded against his stomach in frustration. “You’re so good at reading!!”

That made Yonah feel good! This little human had enjoyed her time being eaten. He almost started crying again, as wonderful as this had been it still made him sad? But in a good way. 

Also she was very correct, they weren’t even halfway through the book.  But really, it was time for a late lunch, and since Yonah had skipped breakfast, he shouldn’t skip another meal. Not very responsible for a guard to go hungry. And he wasn’t gonna eat with her sitting in there. No way. Even if Syor/ians did that, he felt like due to his size it would be incredibly unpleasant, and he was already so full he couldn't eat a proper meal without becoming overstuffed, and burying his occupant. 

Guess he would just have to eat her again soon. 

Once he spat her up and cleaned her off, she turned to Naomi.

“Can he eat me again? Like! tomorrow!?” She practically squealed at Naomi who looked at them both with her knowing gaze - like she had her suspicions this might happen, that she might have requested Dani be his treat for this specific reason. 

“Perhaps,” she said, and smiled so deviously. And Yonah’s face turned a little red.

That might be a bit too soon! That felt like exploitation to Yonah, But he’d love to read to her again so they could progress in the story without her having to be in his gut. And with his lost memories, he knew he was getting to read his favorite books like they were new! Or at least, sort of new. 

And it was something to do while Naomi did her mountains of paperwork. 

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG!

REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]

[kotofvi]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo      Age: 27       Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory.   Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it.  My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.)  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.)  Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.  How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.) 

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here! 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it!  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar! 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft! 

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it!  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!  

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.  

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all!   - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don’t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything! 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse. 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?:  The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke.  - What do they value in a person?:  Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?:  Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time.  - Which themes bore them?:  Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general. 

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar​  [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!! 

[jimlingss]

[2/2] The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock[pit]

 CO-WRITTEN WITH @dovechim

Read the spin-off: The Airport Couple: P[ass]enger from Hell

➜ Words: 12k

➜ Genres: Tooth-aching Fluff, Extreme Crack, Smut (dear lord), Pilot!AU

➜ Summary: Talk about Angry Birds, and most people would immediately think of the mobile game app. But within your circle of friends, it stands for something else. It’s synonymous with Park Jimin, one of the most talented pilots from your batch who also just happens to have anger issues, or in other words, air rage. He is your best friend, but when you get teamed up with him as his co-pilot, you can only pray that things don’t go south… literally. 

➜ Warnings: handjob, cum all over face (and near the eye which is super dangerous), tons of sexual innuendos, unsafe behaviour on a plane (please don’t do this!! This is a work of fiction only, hence please use discretion if any of you happen to be pilots yourself!)

➜ Notes: this was written with the lovely Addie @dovechim, so if you liked this, please send a sweet message her way as well as mine!! we decided to bring Park Jimin’s potential road rage into the air...lol, also please don’t have sex on a plane if you’re navigating/driving it....anyways, enjoy!

You’re stirred awake by the alarm you set on your phone just four hours ago, and you hurry to turn it off before anyone can complain. The pilot’s lounge is small, and from your position on the upper deck of the double decker bed, you can see a few sleeping bodies stir restlessly.   Your schedule says you have an international flight in just over two hours, so you force yourself to climb down as quietly as you can, making your way to the communal bathroom to make yourself presentable to the world. Right now you look like an exhausted witch who’s finally returned to her body after being god knows where, maybe asleep for ten decades.   On the way you are accosted by your fellow co pilot, and he has to shake you by the shoulders a few times to really wake you up.   “Hey, you checked today’s flight schedule right?” Namjoon says, repeating his question louder when you take a tad too long to answer him, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes.   “Yes, yes…what kind of pilot do you think I am? Of course I checked it. I checked it before my nap.” You brush his hand away, almost losing your grip on your makeup bag in the process. “Let me go, I need to remember how to be awake again.”   “No, it’s been changed, you see,” Namjoon clarifies. “I was just notified of the change just an hour ago. Apparently there’s been some reshuffling, and we’re not doing today’s flight together anymore.”   The revelation really gives you a wake up call, and you open your eyes wide, scrambling for your phone to check if he’s right. But Namjoon spares you from it.   “You’re with Park now. I got pushed to the 2.15 flight to Bangkok tomorrow.” Namjoon finally releases his grip on you, giving you a look that you recognise as pity.   Oh god. Thinking that today’s flight would be an easy one as Namjoon’s co pilot, you hadn’t spent much time going through the flight plan like you normally would if you were with Jimin. Flying with Namjoon is an absolute pleasure. The man is so pleasant and nice to talk to, and the two of you often have philosophical discussions while 3000 feet in the air. He really makes the time fly by, literally and figuratively.   But Park Jimin… that man is a whole other story.   Now you can really feel the panic starting to set in, waking you up more effectively than any cup of coffee. In your entire team, everyone, including you, dreads having Park Jimin as a captain. It’s not that he’s incompetent or anything, it’s just his… less than graceful landings and his absolutely filthy mouth, which would have gotten him kicked off the team were he not so talented.   In other words, people say that Park Jimin has road rage. Or in this case, air rage.   Immediately thrown into a state of panic, you leave Namjoon in the hallway and rush through your bathroom routine, ignoring the buzzing in your back pocket in favour of making sure you get your makeup done in under five minutes flat.   You just manage to answer his third call as you step out of the bathrooms, and Park Jimin barks in your ear right away.   “Where are you? We need to review the flight data and fuel gauge. I just finished the aircraft check and—”   “Good morning to you too,” you grumble as your heels pinch your toes. “I just found out about the shuffle.”   “Aren’t you absolutely thrilled to be my co-pilot?” You can almost see Jimin’s gloat from this end of the line. “I think you really lucked out today. We haven’t done a flight together in… how long? I can’t believe I finally get to pilot a plane with my best friend.”   “I’m… um… thrilled of course,” you struggle to inject some enthusiasm into your voice.   Park Jimin himself is unaware that people call him the Angry Bird. Of course, you want to spare his feelings as much as possible by keeping it from him, but something tells you that your best friend’s ego is far too big to be deflated just like that. The man knows he’s talented, one of the best pilots in the team.   Your standard routine is to get a latte and a sandwich from the airport Starbucks since in-flight meals are absolutely revolting. Then, you’ll contact the scheduling department to confirm your flight check in before going through the standard security checks before doing exterior and cock-pit checks.   Jimin is already waiting at Starbucks with your drink and a paper bag, and you wonder if he even slept at all for this early morning flight, but you push those thoughts aside when you realise that he isn’t he isn’t alone. He seems to be talking to one of the air crew...or rather, flirting.   “You’re so funny, Jimin!” The head stewardess is giggling softly with a white-gloved hand covering her mouth as if she’s trying to be polite and hide her perfect teeth. Flight attendant uniforms are a lot prettier than your standard white shirt, black trouser duo. She’s wearing a royal blue blazer and pencil skirt that emphasizes her feminine figure perfectly, white shirt and a floral scarf tied into a bow around her neck.   Meanwhile, you’re stuck in this terrible dress pants and blouse. You’ve never looked good in pants, and let’s face it, dress pants only look good on men. Your blazer isn’t even fitted for heaven’s sake. You’re almost envious at how stunning she looks, attire hugging her hourglass body shape, yet retaining a classy vintage sort of aesthetic. Her dark hair is tucked into neat bun at the back of her head, a rosy hue staining her lips, wearing enough makeup to make you suspect that she has someone to impress.   “Am I?” Jimin laughs obnoxiously and you narrow your eyes at how picturesque they look next to each other, like the perfect couple to represent the airline’s advertisements. You resist the urge to frame them with your fingers just for the sake of it. “I didn’t think my story of accidentally flushing my pet goldfish down the toilet would be that funny. My brother was furious when he realised what happened to Sushi.”   The head stewardess brushes her hand on his arm, laughter still bubbling at her pretty lips. She’s practically salivating and drooling all over him. The flirting is hardcore and sickening to observe. “No, you just know how to make others laugh that’s all. You’re too sweet.”   “Why, thank you.” Jimin is practically beaming like the motherfucking sun from the praise and you roll your eyes, interrupting with a loud ‘ahem’, noisily like you’re choking on a chicken bone. Jimin turns and his brows raise, a bigger and more genuine grin spreading through his face. “______!”   “You’re here early,” you comment as you take your drink and sandwich from him, peeking into the bag to confirm that he bought you your favourite: tuna and egg mayo.   “I was up early to iron this,” Jimin beams as he puffs up his chest to show off his pilot’s uniform, consisting of a navy blue blazer and white dress shirt, and dress pants to match. He tugs on his tie a bit before smoothing it out with his hands. “Didn’t I iron it well? It took me almost two hours. And I even shined my shoes too!”   “It looks great, Jimin! You look so sharp and handsome,” the girl at his side almost coos, and it makes the coffee in your mouth turn bitter. She places an arm on his bicep to get Jimin’s attention even though it’s clear that his questions were directed at you, and Jimin glances at her for a brief second.   “Oh, ______, this is Yoonji. She’s flying with us later, and we just happened to run into each other just before you came.”   You give her a brief nod. Typically, you don’t really interact with the flight crew until an hour before departure, but you suppose that it wouldn’t hurt to get on more friendly terms with them. Jimin has bragged to you a million times about how he was able to get non-alcoholic champagne delivered to the cockpit just because he was close to a stewardess or two, on the rare occasion even snagging a first class meal of lobster tail.   But you prefer to keep to yourself even if it means having to scarf down a lunch of overcooked, dry beef lasagna. Something about the way she’s clinging on to Jimin’s arm and shooting him looks of adoration sets you on edge, and you give Jimin a nudge.   “We need to get through customs. How did you already review the flight plan?” You start to walk towards the departures area and Jimin tags along after saying a hasty goodbye. “That’s fast. I thought you only checked the revised schedule an hour ago.”   “Oh, I was finishing up another flight simulation when Namjoon texted me to tell me,” Jimin answers, checking his reflection in a passing surface. “So the hardworking me thought I might as well just call up the flight plan and get it done.”   You turn to frown at him. “Wait, another flight sim? Isn’t this your third one this week? Park, are you even sleeping anymore? You realise that you have a bed at home that needs to be used right?”   Jimin seems to be a little embarrassed to be called out like this, as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yoongi assigned me a couple more. Said it was because I got several complaints about my landing last time.”   “Yoongi…? Isn’t that…the name of the flight stewardess just now?” Your first instinct is to jump to his defense. “And was it the early AM flight to Japan last week? Come on… I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”   You’re lying. Namjoon had been the one to co pilot that flight with him, and when he got back he’d told you that there was so much turbulence mid-flight that two passengers threw up, and another three had to request for medical attention for their migraines. And the weather had been perfectly fine. His landing had been rough as usual, even though he swears it’s because “the Narita airport has an uneven runway”.   Usually on flights with him you try to schedule it so that he does takeoffs and you do landings, but that sometimes it can’t be helped, the shifts don’t rotate that way. If Pilot Jimin has one flaw, it would be rough landings. Everything else he excels at, flight rage aside.   “No, no, that was Yoonji, this is Yoongi,” Jimin clarifies with a wave of his hands before sighing melodramatically. “And I know right? My flight hours must have doubled in the last month alone.”   Security check is sped up for air crew since you already know the process like the back of your hand, and you and Jimin are through to the airside and on your way to the plane to carry out the cockpit checks. On the way, you review all the information given, from the weather to the number of passengers and the other crew members working on the same flight. And after both you and Jimin work out the flight plan, you file with air traffic control.   That’s when your phone rings, right as you’re on your way to meet with the rest of the crew in the crew’s waiting lounge just before you board the plane.   The first thing you hear is cackling, so loud that it might as well been a blow horn in your ears. You wince, taking the mobile device off your ear and hoping your eardrums aren’t permanently damaged. Immediately, Jimin looks over with concern, but you don’t give him a chance to ask.   “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jin?” You speak sharply and the man continues with his shrill laughs on the other line.   “You’re co-piloting for Jimin?!” Seokjin is in absolute hysterics and you can only imagine his punchable face behind your eyelids. “Rest in peace, ______. I hope you survive and if not, I’ll leave a nice note in your obituary. The entire control tower is panicking right now, it’s hilarious.”   “What’s he saying?” Jimin invades your personal space, putting his face in front of yours to steal back your attention and also being too curious for his own good.   “Nothing. Just that he’s going to be our air traffic control officer and he’s excited since it’s you and he’ll have an easy time,” you manage to lie and Jimin stands straighter, a huge smile plastered across his cheeks, satisfied from the praise.   Jin continues laughing chaotically on the other-line. “Oh my god, you are so whipped for him. Why do you even bother trying to save his ego? Do you want some of his ass that bad? I’ll admit, it’s a pretty good fucking ass, plump like two giant pumpkins in a pumpkin patch, but damn dude, even my thirst wouldn’t let me lie that far—”   You close your eyes at the very descriptive imagery of your pilot’s ass. No, you can’t be thinking about Park Jimin’s ass right now, not when you’re about to be stuck in a cockpit with him for the next six hours, alone. Damn it, you really don’t need this right now.   “I know, right? Jimin's a great captain. He aced all the exams back in the academy and gave me a run for my money.” You give some awkward laughter and Jimin’s practically floating beside you, glowing like a flashlight from the compliments he hears coming out of your mouth. His pink cheeks looks like they’ll burst any second now. “Oh, the weather’s still good? That’s great! Not too cloudy either?”   “Look, all I’m saying is that Jimin’s got some...air rage and you seem to be the only one who makes it better. In all the flights I’ve done with him, I must say you have a special talent for containing the Park Rage. ” Jin barely composes himself and he mumbles something about his job. “If I had to guess, I’d think that you had some special way of calming him down, and what calms a man down faster than anything? A blowjob. Or just a simple handy really. Props to you for handling all that equipment so well, a joystick in one hand and-”   “KIM SEOKJIN!!!!!!” You yell out his name to stop him from his tirade, all too aware that Jimin could overhear him at any second. Your breath is coming in flustered pants and Jimin is staring at you in concern, even raising a hand to your forehead to check if you have a temperature. You bat his hand away hurriedly to keep some distance in between the two of you as you realise that Seokjin is still rambling. Something about not getting the controls wet…   “Seokjin, uh, we have to check in now so talk to you later! Bye!”   “-should maybe just swallow to save you the trouble- alright alright, just say safe, okay? That goes for the both of you. Good luck. And for the love of god, don’t crash the plane.”   “Wow, that’s some solid advice. Very good. I’ll have to write that down.”   Jimin is infamous everywhere he goes and at this point, every airport knows his name. But his turbulence really isn’t that bad. And you’re not just defending him because he’s your best friend and those are your obligated duties. Most passengers don’t mind that it’s a bumpy ride since he always gets to the destination half-an-hour faster. Sure, one time he accidentally left the intercom on the whole flight and everyone heard him cursing and swearing. But it isn’t that terrible.   “Ooh, what was all that about?” Your best friend’s eyes glimmer when you hang up the phone.   You frown. “What do you mean?”   “You and Seokjin….?” Jimin wiggles his brows up and down, even playfully nudging you. But even if he’s joking around, your heart is pierced. But like instead of Cupid aiming its bow at you, he’s stabbing you over and over again with an arrow. You can’t believe Jimin would even insinuate such a thing and be seemingly not affected at all. Goes to show his flirting means nothing.   It’s time to get your head out of the gutter.   “Oh god, no.” You shake your head. “No, not at all.”   “That’s some passionate denial,” he muses.   “What about you and the head stewardess?” You raise your own brows, clearing your throat and stealing a glance at him. “Planning to get it on with her? In all honesty, she’s hot. Even I’d smash that, so….”   “You mean Yoonji?” Jimin’s lips are pouty and he shrugs. “Maybe. I dunno know. I don’t even know where I’d take her.”   “You can’t take her anywhere,” you snort before nudging him this time. “How can you take her on a date if you can’t even drive a car.” It’s ironic, really. Park Jimin can drive a plane, but not a motorized vehicle. You’ll never stop giving him shit for it.   One time, you tried to take it upon yourself and teach him how to drive. All you remember about that day is a barrage of swearing, Jimin’s fists pounding against the horn, and a few near miss altercations. After that day, you had to replace the battery for your car’s horn, and designate yourself to be his driver for the rest of your life.   “Heyyyy, we can always take the bus.” He nudges you back, making you stumble on your feet as squeaky giggles stream from his mouth. “You wouldn't mind taking the bus with me.”   “You’re right, I wouldn’t,” you mutter bitterly, the singleness of your life suddenly hitting you hard. Maybe Jin’s right. Maybe you are too whipped for your friend. Somehow, you suspect Jimin’s innocent smiles and whiny, clingy personality that plagued you for all these years was a tactic to lock you down and keeping you single forever, pinning after something that can never be achieved.   Of course. The bastard would do something like that.   You really need to go on a date soon….or at least get a decent dicking.   “You’re frowning again.” He pokes the scrunch between your brows and you flinch. Jimin laughs and throws an arm around your shoulder, patronizing you as if you were his younger sibling. “Y’know, I still haven’t gotten my thank you yet. I had to stand in a ten minute line to get your favourite sandwich and I even got your favourite coffee. I remembered how many sugars and creams. Tell me I did a good job.”   Sometimes, you’re baffled at how shameless he is.   “You did a good job,” you state impassively, not even hesitating or bothering to make eye contact with him before taking another sip of your drink.   Jimin’s arm suddenly tightens around your neck, making you choke on your coffee and wheeze. He pulls you closer, lips pursed in a tight-line. “I’d more genuine about that, ______,” he whispers lowly in your ear.   Immediately, you pull him off of you, gaining some distance and making it easier to breathe. And it’s not because of the near choke hold he had with his biceps around your neck. Your thumb shoots up, a twitching grin lifting on your cheeks, and you inhale. “Wow~ you can stand in a line for ten minutes?! Amazing! You are the strongest. The mightiest. Park Jimin, everybody. You are my biggest role model. I can’t believe you even paid for me?! What a kind hearted man. Truly. The. Best!”   Jimin laughs so hard he folds his entire body in half. “That’s not what I mean!” Despite getting embarrassed from your excessive, exaggerated praise and the people around who shoot you two odd looks, you can tell the little shit loves every second of your attention.   “C’mon, hurry up.” You tug on his sleeve, dragging him away with your own smile on your face. “Everyone’s waiting for us. We’re going to be late.”   As much as Jimin fucks around, what surprises you the most is how serious he can be about his job. It nearly gives you whiplash at the change in personality. From boyish and aggravatingly annoying to being professional and stern.   Times like these, you remember why you don’t run for the hills whenever he’s around.   Even though you’ve all signed the flight release forms about a thousand times, Jimin still takes the time to read through every word before inking his name at the bottom. And when it’s time to meet the rest of the crew, he greets every single one of them by name, making them feel at ease with his lame jokes. Jimin truly is the mood maker of your team.   “Ready for the cock-pit check, co captain?” Jimin shoots you a grin as he pauses at the doorway of the plane, making a grand sweeping gesture as he bows his head. “Ladies first.”   “Didn’t think you’d pass up on a chance for an innuendo there,” you give him a wry smile as you make your way into the cockpit, retrieving the flight log and preparing to go through it and make sure that any required inspections and repairs to the aircraft have been duly carried out.   “If you wanted to inspect my cock, you could have just said so,” Jimin grins from ear to ear, as if he was just waiting for you to bring it up. He seats himself in the pilot’s position, going through the controls and making sure everything is in working order.   You let out a loud groan in response, rolling your eyes at him. “And there goes my last shred of respect for you.”   The two of you work in silence for a moment, like a well oiled machine as Jimin goes through the position and the operation of the plane’s systems before recording them meticulously onto the flight log that you pass to him. He inspects your work with a thorough glance before signing at the bottom, and you move on to contacting the control tower for a weather update.   “This is KR130 to control tower. KR130 departing from Incheon, Seoul, destination Hong Kong. Estimated departure time is 11.40AM, flight duration 4 hours. Requesting pre departure weather report.”   “Control tower to KR130,” Seokjin radios back. “Weather report is slightly cloudy, wind speed is…. Ah you know what, I’m lazy to read this all out. I’ve sent it to your printer and you can read it yourself.”   You make sure the radio is off before asking yourself why you even bother radioing him if he’s just going to send you all the information by bluetooth to your in-flight printer anyway. The printer sputters to life behind you, and you spin around on your chair to grab the stacks of papers it spits out to review while Jimin is doing the external walk around to examine the body of the plane.   This is another reason why you’ve harboured a secret crush on Jimin for this long — he is considerate beyond belief. By doing most of the external checks, he saves you from having to go out into the cold and brave the winds in your heels.   When he returns, his cheeks are red and his nose is pink, his hair windswept as he rubs his hands together rapidly. You have to physically stop yourself from reaching over to pinch his cheeks and rub them in between your own hands, instead you have to keep your thoughts about how cute he looks like this to yourself.   “Weather report done?” Jimin blows into his clasped hands as he takes his seat again.   “Done, passenger count done too. The plane should be boarding right about now,” you check the time on your watch. Everything seems to be set so far. The check-lists are finished, the inspection for emergency equipment, electrical circuit breakers and the departure briefing has been completed as well.   “Hmm, well we’re done with the pre flight checks, wanna go greet the passengers?” Jimin adjusts a few more levers and switches before turning to you. His eyes are sparkling with excitement and you know interacting with travelers was one of Jimin’s favourite parts about the job. You don’t mind it either since it was always interesting to see where everyone was going and for what reason. Often times, you’d like to play games inside your head, guessing if they are traveling for work or personal reasons, or maybe something crazy like a husband running off on a rendezvous with his mistress who’s actually a private investigator hired by the wife.   Things get wild in your mind sometimes.   “Alright, let’s go.”   When you both leave the cockpit, a few first-class passengers have already boarded and Yoonji, the head stewardess is standing with her hands folded together, pretty smile placed on her lips. As passengers enter, she bows from her waist and Jimin nods with his hands behind his back. “Welcome to Asiana Airlines! We hope you enjoy the flight!”   “Hello!” Yoonji is so pretty, you can’t stop staring at her. She has clear skin, a perfectly oval face, long lashes, pink cheeks, bright eyes — you think you might actually be falling in love with her. It’s no wonder Jimin’s so smitten with the woman; the one peek she steals at your partner in crime, the shy smile she gives, it has you swooning. “Hello! Good afternoon! Welcome to Asiana Airlines!”   The trance you’re in is shattered when Jimin roughly nudges you. “______.” He smiles when he finally has your full attention again. “You never told me what you thought about my ironed uniform. See? I ironed it. It took a lot of work!”   “Yes, yes,” you mutter to appease him. “It’s very well done.”   “And I packed really well too! TSA didn’t stop me this time. Did you notice?”   You’re not sure why he’s being embarrassing directly in front of other people like this. Usually he would bring his attention-starved puppy nature in private, gloat at your praise when it’s just the two of you. You’re about to shove him to the ground, but Yoonji turns around instead with a small giggle.   “You’re really cute, Jimin,” she says with a blazing smile.   That little shit. Was he really using you to get a compliment from another girl instead?! The audacity!   You’re about to give him a piece of his mind, struck with hurt that you were used in such a way, but then Jimin quirks his head to the side, giving the stewardess the most blank expression. “I was asking ______, not you.”   She blinks. You whirl your head towards him, brows furrowing, wholly confused. The head stewardess opens her mouth, maybe to apologize for interrupting your private conversation, but then someone staggers onto the plane, pushing up her little reading spectacles and croaking out, “Excuse me, dear. Could I get some help?”   “Certainly.” Yoongi steps towards her and helps with the old woman’s luggage.   “Oh, thank you. I just can’t seem to find where my seat number is on this ticket. They ought to have it bigger, at least for people like me.”   “Let’s see here. You’re in 27C. Let me help you!” The head stewardess kindly leads the old woman down the aisle, swiftly avoiding other passengers who are getting settled and putting the baggage in the overhead bins. When she’s out of earshot distance, you spin towards your captain with a scowl and a harsh whisper.   “What was all that about?”   He’s unfazed, batting his lashes innocently. “What do you mean?”   “I mean you were kind of a jerk just now,” you sigh out with arms crossed. “You were a blatant rude asshole and it came out of nowhere.”   “Would you rather me be nice to her then?” Jimin raises his brows, eyeing you carefully. “You want me to flirt with her?”   “I-....I mean...I...” You’re stuttering like a damn fool and it takes a deep breath before you get a grip on yourself. “I don’t want you to be a douchebag. Did you get a stroke, dude? Aren’t you trying to win a date with her?”   “I never said that. Not once. You said that, but never me.” There’s a glimmer of mischief in his eyes and he bumps his shoulder with yours. “Frankly, I don’t want to win a date with anyone, but you.”   “Oh my god.” You roll your eyes to the back of your skull. “Don’t even, Park. I’m trying to have a serious conversation here. For once, can you just not be yourself?”   Jimin laughs and you decide it’s better to ignore him. Passengers come filing through the door, greeting you with anticipating and nervous smiles. You greet them one by one, wishing them a good flight. But it still doesn’t stop Jimin from being an ass and purposely enjoying how he gets onto your nerves. When you tell someone you like their hair, he asks you what you think of his hair. You’d sucker punch him in the gut to get him to stop, but you’d rather not get filmed and go viral on YouTube with a viral clickbait title: ‘PILOTS FIGHT TO DEATH (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) POLICE 9-11 CALLED!’   As you’re trying to peel a clingy Jimin off your side and try your best to disregard his annoying behaviour, another person captures your attention, or rather, the cutest goddamn child you’ve ever seen.   The four-year old has a massive Mickey Mouse backpack that’s bigger than his entire torso, larger than his vibrant green overalls and hanging on his shoulders. His black hair is ruffled and sticking up like he hasn’t run a comb through it since yesterday. Yet, despite appearing like he just woke up from a nap, his large eyes are alert, wide and bright. He runs onto the plane and looks in every single direction like a hyperactive hyena ready to run wild. “Hi!”   You lean down with a tiny smile. “Hello there…”   Deep down inside you pity the stewardesses- they’re going to have a lot on their hands for this flight. As for you, the soundproof, access denied cockpit is the main reason why you can coo over this cute little tyrant.   “Is this the plane?!” He’s leaning back to look at the two of you, grinning and amazed as if you’re the biggest heroes in the world.   “You bet it is, bud.” Jimin smiles, amused with the child and having his heart strings tugged. As many rude and irritated passengers that you get, once in a wild even getting an unruly one that needs to be removed, there were some travelers that make up for the bad ones.   “This is so cool!” The child hops both feet like a rabbit on a sugar-high. His hair flops as he jumps. “Does this plane shoot guns?!”   “I wish.” Jimin’s brows furrow slightly in disappointment, though his lips remain upturned “But unfortunately, this isn’t a fighter jet. We’re just a normal commercial plane.”   Thank god. You can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if Jimin had access to deadly arsenals in the air. He might just open fire on the unfortunate bird who decided to cross his flight path.   “What’s there?” The kid leans over, looking between your legs towards the door.   “It’s my cock……..—pit.” Jimin adds on the last syllable a few seconds later and he has a sheepish smile when you glare at him. “It’s where we sit and drive the plane.”   The boy hums and nods rapidly, almost breaking his neck doing so. Then his irises glitter as he gazes up at you. “Can I drive the plane?”   “You need a licence.” You try to let him down gently, scared of disappointing him. “Give it a few years and with some hard work, maybe you can one day!”   He doesn’t seem that broken-hearted over the news and moves onto his next curious question, so straightforward that it nearly gives you whiplash. “What happens if we fall in the sky?”   “Uh, hopefully that won’t happen.”   “Don’t worry.” Jimin’s hand lifts and he squeezes your shoulder reassuringly while gazing softly at your profile. “If it does, I’ll catch you.”   You turn to him with yet another look, unable to discern whether he means you or the kid, but this time you can’t help the tiny smile that graces your features. “We’ll burn and crash together, idiot.”   “Hoseok!” The child’s parents finally appear, lugging all their belongings with them. You suppose it must be a family vacation and it seems like the mom needs it. She appears exhausted and you’re sympathetic. “I’m sorry, he’s such a handful.”   “Not at all. We’re happy to have him onboard!” And you really mean it. You haven’t seen such an eager passenger in a long while.   “This is the first time he’s been on a plane,” his father says and takes Hoseok’s hand while two duffle bags are piled on his shoulders.   “Really?” Jimin squats down. “Well guess you’re in for a real surprise, buddy. It’s going to be great!”   With Jimin as captain, it’ll be more like a roller coaster. But they don’t need to know that.   The two parents wave goodbye, expressing their gratitude for taking the time to indulge in their son’s curiosity. Hoseok waves as well, shouting a shrill ‘see you later’ that has first-class passengers glaring. You watch as they walk down the aisle towards economy class and Jimin gets back on his feet, glancing at your profile before leaning over and whispering in your ear, “You like children?”   “The cute ones,” you muse with a shrug.   “Well, if you ever want a kid, I can help you with that…” Jimin peeks at you slyly, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards when his pupils glance at your pink lips. “....just make sure you don’t accidentally swallow it.”   “Jimin!” Your face heats up immediately at his implication and he relishes in your expression.   “Our kid would be cute, right?” Jimin has a cheeky smile. “You gotta admit, they’d be one beautiful baby.”   It’s harder and harder to brush him off, and you’re at a loss for words. Just the thought of being in that position, on your knees sucking him off makes it harder to breathe, and it’s not the stale recycled air of the plane that’s affecting you. You have no idea whether he’s joking or not, but he’s never been this direct before. You don’t want to shut him down for fear of him simply laughing at you and telling you to lighten up, so instead of answering you turn away from him and head toward the safety of the cockpit to prepare for takeoff.   Once inside the cockpit, you know you’re saved because of the sterile cockpit rules that allow only essential communication between pilot and co-pilot. It only lasts till the plane reaches an altitude of 10,000 feet, but at this point you can’t exactly put a wall between you and Jimin, so that’ll have to do for now.   “KR130 to Control Tower, permission to begin taxi,” you say into the radio after you seat yourself on Jimin’s right hand.   “Permission granted, begin taxi toward runway 12,” Seokjin’s reply comes back over the air.   With clearance from air traffic, you reach for the plane’s intercom and flick it on. “Good morning, this is your co-pilot ______ speaking. A very warm welcome to Asiana Airlines, this is flight KR130 from Seoul, Incheon to Hong Kong, and we thank you for flying with us today. Our flight this morning is an estimated four hours, and we are currently second in line for take-off. We ask that you kindly remain in your seats with the seatbelts fastened, with your seats and the table tray in upright position and secure all baggage in the overhead compartments. Smoking is strictly prohibited aboard this aircraft. Thank you for choosing Asiana Airlines and enjoy your flight.”   Jimin flicks a few switches to fire up the engines and double checks the critical airspeed as the plane slowly rumbles into a slow amble toward the active runway. It continues to taxi for a few minutes till the signal for takeoff crackles over the radio.   On Seokjin’s cue, you flick on the intercom again. “Cabin crew please arm doors and cross check.”   “Cross check complete,” Yoonji replies.   “Cabin crew please be seated for takeoff,” you impart your final instructions over the intercom as Jimin begins to rev up the engines and the plane roars to life.   The initial thrust of the plane sends a thrill singing through your veins as the whirr of the engines sound in your ears. The plane begins to pick up speed, and you keep an eye on the speed gauge in order to alert Jimin when the critical airspeed is reached.   “V1,” you alert him when the plane’s speed reaches the critical value in which the take-off must be performed, and Jimin barely acknowledges you with a nod. Shortly after, you alert him again, “VR.”   That’s when he starts to lift the plane’s nose into the air, and the rest of its body follows as it glides into the air seamlessly. You feel the lift of the plane in the pit of your stomach as you monitor the altitude, retracting the flaps and wheels once you reach 400ft.   You work in silence for a moment, busying yourself with after-take off and climb checklists while Jimin mans the helm, occasionally communicating with air traffic control and monitoring the atmospheric pressure, making changes should there be a need to. Once the aircraft reaches above an altitude of 10,000 feet, Jimin switches over onto autopilot, reaching over to your side to flick on the intercom, his hands dangerously near your thighs.   “Good morning ladies and gentlemen,” he says into the intercom with a charming smile that resonates in the smooth lilt of his voice. “This is your very handsome captain Park Jimin speaking. I’m pleased to welcome you aboard flight KR130, we are currently cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles an hour. The current local time is 11:53AM, the weather looks good and with the current tailwind on our side we are looking to reach Hong Kong an estimated 15 minutes ahead of schedule. The cabin crew will be coming around in about twenty minutes time to offer you a light snack and beverage, and the inflight movie will begin shortly after that. I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination. Until then, sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight.”   You’ve always admired the professional ease with which Park Jimin does his announcements. His voice over the airwaves sounds absolutely melodic and entirely at ease, and the look on his face tells you that it’s one of his favourite parts about flying as well. Unlike you, announcements come easily to him, the words just flow from his lips and he doesn’t seem the least bit nervous at all.   Focusing your attention straight ahead to keep yourself from ruminating over the side profile of his pouty lips, you hope and pray for this flight to go by quickly.   “Jimin, it looks like there are some dark clouds ahead,” you caution him, frowning as you cross check Seokjin’s weather report once more.   Jimin notices the clouds too, and he begins to swear under his breath, and that’s when it all begins. Park Jimin’s famous air rage.   “Fucking Kim Seokjin, sunny weather and slight wind? What kind of idiot does he think I am? All those flight plans gone to waste...” He mutters to himself as he begins to make calculations and calibrations to alter the flight path, keeping an eye on the atmospheric pressure at the same time. “At this rate he should be a weatherman instead, that way he’ll at least have a fucking reason to be wrong all the time!!!”   You are working furiously to support his calibrations, attempting to radio back to the control tower to get an update on the weather.   Jimin grunts under his breath as he tosses the report aside. “Forget it, it’s fucking useless. KIM SEOKJIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT, MOVE THOSE FUCKING CLOUDS NOW OR ELSE!!!!”   Make no doubt about it, Park Jimin may seem like a cute angel who can do no evil, but catch him in a mood like this… He is practically roaring in that tiny little cockpit, so much so that you even wince a little at how loud he gets.   “Jimin,” you caution him. “It’s just the weather, you know control tower can’t do anything about that-”   That’s when you notice the red light of the intercom still flickering, and you gasp, diving toward it to switch it off immediately. Jimin whips his head around to stare at you when he hears your gasp, raising an eyebrow in question, anticipating some sort of problem. 

“No, no, everything’s fine,” you wave a hand at him. “It’s just um… you forgot to turn off the intercom.”   And that unleashes a whole litany of curses once more, after he makes sure the intercom button is securely turned off, that is. Your temples are throbbing, imagining the uproar that must be occurring in the cabins right about now.   Kim Seokjin is going to have a field day when he hears about this. You can already hear his window wiper laughter in your mind. And when you close your eyes you can see the stack of reports waiting to be written about this incident, all courtesy of Mr Park Jimin of course.   “Fuck. these. birds!”   “What did birds ever do to you?” You’re slightly amused at how cute and small Jimin is when he’s been reduced to a ball of anger, and another part of you has accepted that this is who he is. He’s still a good pilot...with only a quirk or two.   “Exist,” he spits out. “And get in my way.”   The worst thing that could happen is if he busted a vein at his temple or got a heart attack from high-blood pressure, so you try to placate him. “Calm down, Jimin.”   “Don’t tell me to calm down,” he huffs out and shoots you a glare, caught up in his fury to act rationally. “You act as if I’m unreasonably angry.”   Trying to reason him is like trying to use logic with a child. “Well, maybe because you are unreasonably angry.”   There’s a moment of silence. You heave a sigh of relief, happy that it’s over. It’s not like you like arguing with your best friend and it’s not like you bicker often either. But then— “I am your captain. That’s no way to speak to me.”   “Excuse me?!” Your mouth drops and your brows shoot upwards, turning to look at the profile of his impassive face.   “We’re friends, but when we work together, I still have seniority over you,” Jimin says and the sudden cold tone shocks your system. “For one, you’re supposed to call me ‘sir’ and you do as I tell you.”   You scoff, unable to believe he’s redirecting his air rage onto you. “Or else what? What are you gonna do?”   “...I’ll throw you off this plane.”

“Oh my god.” It’s so outrageous, you feel steam coming out of your ears, your pressurized temper blowing off its cap. “That sounds like a fantastic idea! Just strap a parachute to my back and throw your co-pilot off this plane! The airline would fucking love that, wouldn’t they?!”   “Why can’t you agree with me on anything?!” Jimin’s frown deepens and his pitch increases in volume to match yours. “You don’t think these birds and fucking clouds are annoying as shit?!”   “These are petty issues, Jimin!” You throw your arms into the air. “It doesn’t even matter!”   “It does matter!” He’s screaming over you. “If you knew better, you would actually help me instead of trying to tell me to calm down which mind you does not help with the situation at all!”   “Well sorry for actually giving a shit and not wanting your pilot license to be taken away!”   The two of you bicker back and forth. This isn’t what either of you want, but maybe if you weren’t so caught up in it, you’d realize that something was off. “Why the fuck would it be taken away?! I’m the best goddamn pilot this airline has seen!”   “Yeah, but you’re swearing and screaming! What sane person would fly beside you?!”   Jimin barks out a chilling laugh before staring into your eyes. “You would!”   “Guess I’m not sane then! Guess you’re not the crazy one! I am!” It’s infuriating how you’ve become unhinged and lost all control of your emotions. Now you’re the raging one and it’s unsightly. “Is that what you’re trying to say?! Well, Sherlock, I’m not the one screaming at clouds and birds, alright?!”   “Goddammit, _____.” Jimin is as upset as you are and he sits back. “I wanted this to be perfect, okay?!”   You shake your head, yet another scoff coming from your mouth. “Why the fuck does that matter?!” He’s so utterly frustrating at the moment, you want to throttle him and throw him out the front window. You hate how he can get under your skin. You hate how this entire thing has spiraled out of hand. More importantly, you hate Jim—   “Because I wanted to impress you!”   “.....” There’s a second of complete silence. His crisp voice reverberates around the small cockpit, piercing through the white noise of the aircraft’s engine, and it echos into your mind. You are bewildered to say the least. “What?” Jimin sighs and runs a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back before his hands return to the controls. He swallows hard and continues looking straight ahead, avoiding your intense gaze. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. Why?”   “I have not!” Your defense is weak. “Don’t accuse me—”   “You think I’m that stupid, don’t you?! You think I’m blind? I heard from Namjoon and I saw the look on your face this morning!” He’s still angry and frustrated, but the hurt in his timbre is all too evident and even though you’re still supposed to be irritated with him, instead you feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. “You didn’t want to be my co-pilot!”   “T-that’s not true!”   “You’re a liar! You’ve been trying to switch every single time we have the same schedule together! Why?!” No matter how many times he’s thought about it, he can’t seem to work it out inside his mind. “Did I do something wrong?! Am I really that bad that you’re scared to be next to me?!”   “No! Fuck—”   Jimin finally turns to you. His dark locks flop back into place, brushing over his forehead in a disarray. His soft eyes gaze back into yours, his deep irises meeting yours. His plump lips part slightly, inhaling a slight breath. “Or is it because you finally realize you’re in love with me?!”   Shit.   “What the fuck—”   “You think I wouldn’t notice?! I felt you hold my hand when we were asleep on that trip to Barcelona!” Somehow, this fight has led to you being on the witness stand as Jimin questions you to death, pushing you into a corner to admit your crimes. One moment you’re both yelling at each other and the next, you find out that he’s been onto you for the past year. You’re still reeling, getting whiplash at how the exchange morphed so quickly. “And that time we were in Bangkok and I got food poisoning, you kissed me when you thought I was asleep!”   “I kissed your forehead!”   “So you admit it?!” This is humiliating. This is absolutely embarrassing and now you really wish you had taken that offer of being thrown off the plane when the opportunity was given. Maybe you can throw yourself off the plane instead. “You really think I wouldn’t know?! We’ve been friends for what? Nine years now?! I can read you like a book!”   “Oh really?!” You challenge him, still not backing down. “Then what am I thinking now?”   Jimin steals a glimpse of you before turning back to the open skies ahead. He has the biggest grin plastered over his chubby cheeks and you think it might break his goddamn face. “You’re in love with me!”   “Oh my god! Fine! I am in love with you, dumbass!” It’s out in the open. No more secrets. And admitting your feelings lights your face on fire. You’re sure you’re going to wake up screaming for the rest of your life about this nightmare of a conversation. “Happy now?!”   He lets out a ‘hmph’, like the cocky bastard that he is. “Very!”   “I’ve been trying to sort this shit out ever since I fucking caught feelings and now you’re stepping all over me for it?! You force me to confess just so you can get a free ego boost? Thanks, jerk!” The pair of you are so childish, it’s painful, but at this very moment, you don’t care. You’re just trying to hold yourself together, forcing yourself not to start crying out of shame. It’s frustrating because you can’t even storm off or leave him in the dust. You have a plane to fly. And you can’t imagine what the next four hours is going to be like. “I get it, okay?! You’re not interested! So, I’ll deal with this myself! You can fuck Yoonji in peace!”   “The hell, woman!” He whirls his neck over, frown gracing his features. “Have you heard anything that comes out of my mouth?! I never said I was fucking her!”   “You didn’t need to! She’s practically moaning when you look at her!”   “Fuck these fucking birds,” Jimin mumbles before turning to you once more. “Look, I’m in love with you too.”   “What?”   “Yeah and I have been for some time now—” He’s interrupted by some knocking on the door. Then, there’s the sound of someone punching the touchpad code in. In another moment, the head stewardess has her slight head peeking in, not to disturb the two of you.   “Um, is everything okay?” Yoonji asks with pouty lips and a concerned expression. “We heard some shouting.”   “Um, everything’s fine.” You smile at her, wondering how loud you both were to leak sound from the supposedly soundproof door. “Yeah, we had one or two…misunderstandings, that’s all.”   “Oh, okay.” She nods, put at ease with your reassurance. “Would you like some drinks?”   “Sure. I’ll...um...have some water.”   Jimin clears his throat and nods as well. “I’ll take a coffee.”   “Any creams or sugars?” The pretty stewardess has her hands folded together, scarf perfectly tied, eyes glistening as they pin onto the man beside you. She hangs onto every word of his.   “No, I’m fine. Actually...just one cream.”   “Okay.” It’s excruciatingly slow and awkward. It reminds you of when waitresses at restaurants come by to pour water and the conversation just completely dies as the both of you watch her. It feels like her movements are that of a turtle’s; she’s taking forever just to finish pouring and bringing your drinks over. “Here you go and here you go. Would you like anything else? Any meals or anything? We have peanut snacks and lightly-salted crackers. There’s also some chicken, beef, or vegetable rice available.”   “I think we’re okay for now, thank you.” Jimin is curt, brushing her off and not paying any mind when she’s straight on staring at him. The tension in the small space can be cut with a knife and you’re beginning to break a sweat from it.   “Alright.” She smiles meekly, preparing to leave and completely unaware of what was transpiring before she interrupted. “Just call me if you need anything.”   “Thanks.”   It’s deadly silent.   The conversation takes its time to sink into your skin. There’s a full ten minutes of you and Jimin purely focusing on driving the plane and flying safely through the clouds. He looks forward, trying to decrease the turbulence with the oncoming wind, and you keep your eyes trained outside the window. He only mutters every so often under his breath before taking sips of his coffee to calm himself down. Eventually, you can’t bare it anymore and you glance at him, clearing your throat. His ears perk at the sound and you brace yourself.   “That takeoff…….it was pretty smooth.”   “Thanks.”   “You did a good job.” You swallow hard. “And...uh….you dealt with the changes in the weather well.”   The corner of Jimin’s mouth twitches, threatening to spread into a smile. He muses how you know exactly where to hit his weakest spots. He can’t help but indulge in your compliments. “I know.”   “You’re a good pilot.” You capitalise on his number one weakness, unashamed to use it to your advantage. Jimin has always softened like putty in your hands every time you pay him a compliment. It wouldn’t hurt to lay it on thick. “You look really handsome in your pilot’s uniform, I can’t believe you ironed it so well.”   Jimin is full on fighting with himself not to just break out into a fit of giggles as he maintains a straight face. He glances over at you and casts his eyes down your body. “You look nice too. In that suit. Your… legs are nice.”   You almost spit out your water. Jimin isn’t the type to return compliments, usually he’s too busy basking in them, and although he does sound a little awkward, you can tell that he really means it. You’re at a loss for words because that means… that he’s actually taken notice of you? In this grubby little pantsuit?   Suddenly the atmosphere in the cockpit has changed. It’s no longer tense or charged with the weight of both your tempers, it now borders upon uncharted territory, and your mind feels as foggy as the sky outside. While Jimin has almost all of his attention on the route in front of him, trying to steer the plane through the worst of the turbulence, you can’t help but crave for more of his compliments.   Wait, when did the tables turn so suddenly?   “Wh-what about my legs?” You hazard a glance at him, and when Jimin looks over at you in confusion, you clear your throat. “You know, I was just thinking about how unequal this relationship is. I always give you the most detailed compliments, and you never return any of them.”   You can see Jimin visibly struggling to get his words out. His jaw is clenched and a muscle jumps in his cheek, and you can feel your breath catch in your chest. Finally, Jimin reaches over to hit the autopilot setting again and turns his gaze to you. And when he does, his gaze is absolutely predatory.   “That’s my bad then, how shall I begin to make it up to you?” Jimin swivels his chair so that he’s facing you, and you can see his knees spread outwards, drawing your gaze up to his crotch in those deliciously tight pants of his.   “What about my legs?” You purposely cross one leg over the other to draw his attention to them and you pretend to be disinterested when actually… you’re thinking of a way to get him to say that you have better legs than that beautiful bitch, Yoonji. “Most people usually use a scale for reference when they give compliments…”   And then your eyes slide over to the entrance of the cockpit, giving him an extra hint. Jimin follows your gaze and smirks to himself when he realises what you want. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t tease you for a bit first.   “Your legs are really long,” he starts off, running his eyes slowly down from your hips all the way to your toes. “And they’d look really good wrapped around my waist.”   Your breath hitches in your chest as your thighs clench involuntarily. Jimin’s eagle eyes catch the subtle movement and he raises an eyebrow. But you’re not letting him off the hook that easily. “What else?”   “I was also thinking of how they’d look like resting on my shoulders,” Jimin rubs his chin thoughtfully, licking his lips as he pretends to ponder. “And how my finger marks would look like on your inner thighs.”   He is infuriating. By now you can see from the smirk on Jimin’s face that he knows exactly what you want to hear. “And?”   Jimin makes a humming noise in the back of his throat, ever the tease. You decide that you need to up the stakes, and you lean over to rest your hand on his knee, fingers inching upwards ever so slowly. His muscles turn solid under your touch, and there is a sharp intake of breath. Jimin’s eyes are fixated on your fingers making the slow crawl up his inner thigh, towards the obvious tent in his pants, before you stop just short of making contact with it.   “And, what else,” you prompt him again.   Jimin’s fists are clenched, his knuckles white as he considers his options. He’s so rock hard in his pants right now, unbelievably turned on that he thinks he could come in his pants untouched. But just how far are you willing to take this? He’s sure that the both of you are breaking just about every rule in the pilot handbook right now, and yet, he’s dying just to feel your hand wrapped around him…   “Y-your legs are…” Jimin meets your eye with a visible shudder as you begin to run your nails up and down his inner thighs. “Better than Yoonji’s could ever be.”   A satisfied smirk paints itself upon your lips as you finally place your hand on him fully, giving him a firm squeeze to reward him. He feels thick in your palm, and your mouth salivates, wishing that the two of you were off this damn plane just so you can get a taste of him. Jimin groans and tilts his head back against the headrest, knees spreading even wider.   “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath before swallowing hard. “First Officer, would you like to grab my joystick for me?”   It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s been waiting to use this line for the longest time. His terrible innuendo makes you want to laugh, and you just manage to bite it back as you flick open the button on his pants and drag the zipper down. He is already dripping with precum when you pull him out and give him a few test strokes.   “Yes, fuck,” Jimin groans at your touch as you swipe your thumb over his head. “Make sure to grip it tightly, Officer. Your hand needs to go up and down too.”   If someone had told you this morning that you’d be giving Park Jimin a handjob over 30,000 feet in the air, you’d have laughed it off. But as you follow his instructions, you can’t help but feel a thrill sing through your veins at the thought of all the other passengers on the other side of this door. And Min Yoonji who potentially thinks she can just bat her lashes and get any guy she wants.   “What do you think of my joystick, Officer?” he huffs out, putty in your hands. “Should turn the radio on. Let Seokjin fucking hear this.”   “But I don’t want anyone else to hear you. This is for my ears only...” you can’t help the little pout that sneaks up your face and he mutters a curse, unable to resist lifting his hand to curl around your wrist and control your pacing. You blink innocently at him as your strokes continue to alternate between slow and fast. “Your joystick is the thickest I’ve ever seen… Am I doing a good job, Captain?”   “S-so good, you’re passing the simulation with full marks if you keep this up,” Jimin bucks his hips into your hand. When your other hand drops to fondle his balls, he groans low in his throat and twitches in your grasp. “Fuck, I-I’m carrying such a full load today, Officer, did you know that?”   You glance up from weighing his balls in your palm, stroking him faster and relishing the loud, obscene sound that echoes around the tiny cockpit. “It does seem to be very heavy indeed, Captain… maybe you need some help unloading it? Where should I put all the cargo?”   “God, fuck, you’re such a fucking minx,” Jimin bites his lower lip as he groans. His little sounds and the cute, tiny moans that spill from his pretty lips only encourage your ministrations. Your underwear becomes soaked and uncomfortable, and as you watch his face scrunch, it sends an ache straight to your own core. “I can’t wait till we’re off this plane so I can blow my fucking load on your landing strip, Officer.”   “My landing strip?” You raise an eyebrow at him, not knowing that he’d be into finishing all over your body. The thought of the both of you watching his cum drip from you has your panties soaked. Maybe you can’t give him that now, while you’re on this godforsaken plane, but perhaps you can give him something else. You push yourself off your seat to kneel in between his legs, opening your mouth and showing him your tongue. “It’s all clear for you, Captain.”   There is sweat beading on his forehead as Jimin reaches down to wrap his hand around yours, helping you to jerk him off right onto your tongue. The first few spurts are far too strong and miss your mouth entirely, landing on your cheek before you feel the bitterness on your tongue as Jimin shifts his hips forward so that his tip is resting on your tongue directly. You wiggle your tongue to massage the head of his cock as he continues spurting cum, and you can feel him filling your mouth up to the brim, that you have to tilt your head back to make sure it doesn’t spill.   Jimin sinks back in his seat, eyes closed as he tries to catch his breath. You can already feel the streaks of cum drying on your face, so you push yourself up, closing your mouth carefully. Jimin opens his eyes then, catching sight of you settling back in your chair.   “You look so pretty with my cum on your face,” he remarks, reaching over to carefully wipe a smear that’s close to your eye with the pad of his finger, then bringing it to his lips, tongue peeking out to lick it away. “Do you need to spit? Here, have my cup.”   He offers you his coffee cup from earlier, but you shake your head, making eye contact with him as you swallow deliberately and open your mouth to show him your clean tongue. Jimin swears under his breath, thumb coming to rest just under your lower lip. “That’s so hot. You’re fucking amazing. When we get off this plane, we’re going straight to the airport hotel.”   The sight of your swollen lips and cum streaked face makes Jimin want to bend you over the controls and eat you out till you come all over his face, then fuck his cum into you till you’re leaking. But he’s already broken enough rules for today; put others’ lives at risk even.   “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that—” you start, tucking your hair behind your ear.   “No, it takes two hands to clap,” Jimin sighs as he tucks himself back into his pants. “I should have had better self control. It was irresponsible of me, the Captain of this plane. It’ll never happen again. Because once we’re on solid land, I’m fucking you so hard that you won’t be able to walk till our next flight back.”   A signal comes in from the plane’s radio, and you glance over to the autopilot timer, saved from having to reply. It’s only been ten minutes since Jimin switched it on, but now that you’re more level-headed and thinking clearly, it was highly irresponsible for the two of you to leave the plane like that, even if autopilot allows you to be hands-off. Thankfully, nothing happened, and you can see that Jimin is equally sobered as he checks in with control tower and resumes control of the plane.   “Go clean yourself up, I got it from here,” Jimin glances toward the cockpit entrance.   You rise from your seat, hoping that you can somehow make it to the staff lavatory without running into anyone. But just as you press the exit button and step out of the cockpit, as your luck would have it, you almost crash straight into Yoonji carrying a tray with two prepackaged meals on it.   “Oh! Officer ______! Didn’t see you there, are you alright? I was just bringing you and Captain Park your in-flight meal...” Yoonji is concerned as she glances at your face. “You look a bit…”   Belatedly you realise that you have cum on your face, and the tight sensation around the corner of your lips tells you that there’s probably some there too. By the look on Yoonji’s face, she’s obviously caught on to what that mystery white substance is as she flushes a deep red, and you take the opportunity to rub it in her face….not literally though since Jimin’s cum belongs to you and only you.   “Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry,” you give her a sweet smile as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Captain Park was just teaching me how to handle his joystick. He was giving me a bit of one-to-one coaching on the techniques, grip, pace, complicated stuff like that. I’d tell you more, but I don’t think you’d understand.”   Her mouth drops open.   “Oh, and…” you glance at the in-flight meals on her tray. One lobster bisque with salted egg yolk sauce, and the other is a plain old chicken with green beans and potatoes. That nasty little witch’s favouritism has always been too obvious. “Actually, Jimin is allergic to green beans… could you change his to lobster too? Thanks, Yoonji!”   “B-but the lobster was for h—”   Without waiting to hear the rest of her sentence, you saunter over to the staff lavatory, feeling her glare on your back the whole way. It feels good, more than good. As childish as it is, you got to assert your dominance like some kind of alpha wolf, and the adrenaline from your dirty antics is still coursing through your veins. You didn’t get your own release and your underwear is still sticky, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t bother you too much. If anything, you’re a bit disappointed that you have to wash his cum from your skin, even if it was drying and becoming uncomfortable. You wish he marked you in a better way.   Maybe you’ll suggest it to him later.   But what’s more important to you is that he feels the same way. Park Jimin, idiot extraordinaire, adorable puppy with sharp teeth, actually likes you back. No….wait, a minute...he doesn’t just like you—   “I’m in love with you too.”   It echos over and over in your brain again. You’ve imprinted the simple sentence, memorized the way he spoke every syllable, how his breath paused in timidness, how he gazed at you. You grin at yourself in the mirror, turning your head from side to side to admire the glow on your cheeks. Honestly, with you looking this good, you don’t know how Jimin managed to hold out this long. You’ve never seen yourself looking so radiant and glowy, although it may just be the effect of his cum… you’ll have to look into that one later.   You might look crazy, but you don’t care that you skip back into the cockpit with one cheesy smile plastered on your aching cheeks. You don’t care that you’re giggling like some teenage girl who just received her first confession from her long, unrequited crush. You’re going to savour all the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach and embrace the flowers that are blooming inside your chest, bouquets that all belong to one man, Park Jimin.   The cockpit smells of sex and Jimin, and you don’t mind in the least bit. He’s chewing on a cubed cantaloupe, having yet to dig into his lobster. Your bright smile is infectious and he can’t help but mirror it, chubby cheeks swelling up as he chews. “Oh, I think you’ll want to hear this. Yoonji was just here bringing us our food and she said this place smelled…musty. I told her I was just giving you a private flight lesson.”   “Really?” you chime out before coming behind him, not really caring about what Yoonji thinks.   “Why do you look so happy?”   You lean over to plant a soft kiss on his cheek and hop back to your seat before Jimin has a chance to blink or react. He turns to you and his grin expands. “Maybe it’s because you told me you love me.”   “I do,” he reasserts without a second thought, having too much fun watching you. Jimin has an endeared expression written across his features and it only squeezes your heart more. You wish you could just roll in bed and kick your blankets, too giddy for your own good. Yet, you hold yourself together, doing your best to remain professional and bring this plane to its final destination.   “Before we were interrupted…..you said you’ve been for a long time now?”   Who knew that you equally loved basking in his attention as he did in yours. You don’t really care about Yoonji anymore. She was just an excuse, really. Little things like that don’t seem to matter when it’s just you and him.   “Of course,” Jimin scoffs. “Are you kidding me? How could I not notice the cutest and funniest girl in my class who turned out to be super smart and second best to me?”   Your smile drops and your brow raises. “Excuse me….second best?”   The little shit ignores you. “I’m just happy that you finally realized how much you’re crazy for me.”   “Psh, how cocky can you be?” You turn back towards the front windshield, returning back to help with the navigation. “I’m not crazy for you.”   “You’re right.” He grins. “You’re just crazy.”   If looks could kill, the man would’ve turned to ash by the way you glare at him with a murderous glint in your eyes. He immediately retracts his words with a laugh, “I’m joking! I’m joking! I mean you’re crazy for loving me too because you’re so fucking amazing and incredible.”   “Save it, Park.”   Except, he’s a brat that never listened to you, and he steals the chance. Jimin completely catches you off guard when he suddenly leans over and kisses the corner of your lips, pulling away after the simple peck. When you turn in surprise, his gaze softens. “Now go eat your lobster. I need you to be hungry when we get off this damn flight because I decided that I’m asking you out to dinner before I tie you up for the next three days in the best damn hotel suite the airport has to offer.”   It’s too hard not to smile and you feel like an idiot when your grin makes yet another reappearance. “Don’t you know I don’t put out on the first date?”   “Who said it’s our first date?” A glimmer of mischief sparkles in his irises when you both glance at each other. “This is our fiftieth.”   “What? Since when?”   “Since our after our first flight exam and I invited you to McDonalds at midnight. That was our first date.”   You’re appalled, recalling the memory with the snap of your finger. You’d never allow a first date to be so shitty, even if it was with him. “That so does not count!”   “It did in my mind,” he giggles.   “You’re ridiculous.”   “—ridiculously in love with you,” Jimin adds on and you can’t resist your smile.   The pair of you might be over 30,000 feet in the air, but at this rate, it feels like you could float up to the moon and stars. You can’t wait for tomorrow, for the next day, for the day after that. The anticipation bubbles in your stomach, joining with the storm of butterflies and blooming flowers. You can’t wait to travel with him again and again.   For the rest of your life, you get to go across the entire world with your best friend. If it’s with him, you can go anywhere….even if Jimin rages on all the birds in the sky.

[alpha-centari27]

The Thoughts and Reflections of Someone New to Reylo and the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

This is a really, really long post and contains spoilers.

Please be polite and respectful if you choose to comment and / or reblog.

Ok, so before I get too heavy discussing my thoughts and reflections there are a few things I want to make absolutely clear.

- People can ship whoever they want.  And it is perfectly fine for people to disagree and have differing tastes and opinions.  Obviously some ships are better supported by canon than others.  And there are shipping relationships that are toxic, but people ship it anyway.  I think a great non-Star Wars example is Harley Quinn and Joker. 

- I have delved deep enough into the reylo tag and other related tags to get the sense that anti-reylo are claiming a moral high ground.  “As a ship reylo is wrong and therefore anyone who ships reylo is a horrible person.”  And my simple rebuttal to this is--no, that’s not how this works.  If someone ships reylo this by itself is not sufficient evidence that someone is a horrible person.

- Based on everything I have read about TROS Ben Solo’s story arc and character development could have been so much more than what it was on screen in TROS.

- Having said that a lot of other characters were short changed by whoever was pulling the strings and making the decisions: Rose Tico, Poe Dameron, Finn and Rey and arguably Leia, Luke and Han were short changed by some of the decisions made in TROS and earlier in TLJ and TFA.

- Being part of a fandom should be fun, so can we all agree to chill out, relax and be civil?

Moving on...now that hopefully I have cleared up any preconceived assumptions.

I am relatively new to reylo and the sequel trilogies.

The first time I watched The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi was only a few weeks ago.  Some of the cable channels have been doing Star Wars marathons to get people pumped and nostalgic to pay for a movie ticket to The Rise of Skywalker.

One of the cable channels was doing yet another Star Wars marathon last night, so I again sat down to watch The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, but this time I watched the films with more awareness of the various critiques, criticisms and elements that have been deemed problematic.

I also went to the trouble of jotting down some notes.

This post is kinda all over the place, but I am going to go over my notes and observations and a main topic I want to look at is:

How Rey’s relationships and interactions with Finn and Kylo Ren differ and what sort of implications does this have.

Since stepping my toe into the reylo tags and other related tags I have NOT been able to fully articulate where I stand on whether reylo is toxic, Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is abusive, whether Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is worthy of redemption and to what degree Kylo / Ben being abused and manipulated excuses his actions.

I have to confess that the more parallels and similarities I see between Kylo Ren and Anakin / Darth Vader the more uneasy I feel about shipping reylo.

Regardless of my opinion people are free to do what they want.  If shipping reylo makes you happy, who am I too badger you into doing otherwise?

Me, writing out this long post is an attempt to flush out my thoughts at the present.

Watching the movies again I was struck by how different Rey’s interactions were with Finn and Kylo Ren.  There is a sequence in The Force Awakens between Rey and Finn that reminds me of the throne room sequence between Kylo Ren and Rey when Kylo offers his hand and asks her to rule beside him.  ((Please pardon me for paraphrasing and not having all the lines of dialogue memorized.))

Rey and Finn

At Maz’s place when Han, Rey and Finn are trying to arrange transport for BB8 to the resistance and / or get another ship to avoid detection by the First Order.

Maz looks into Finn’s eyes and remarks that he looks like someone who wants to run away.  Maz tells Finn that there is a way out.  That there are some beings that will arrange transit to the outer rim and exchange for work.

Finn approaches the beings and tells them not to leave without him.

Rey is frustrated by this.  How can he just leave?  What about BB8?  What about the resistance?  I believe this is when Finn comes clean that he is not actually with the resistance.  That he is a stormtrooper and he is not going back to the First Order and wants to stay as far away from them as possible.

Finn asks Rey to come with him.  To join him.  Rey says no.  And I believe Finn tells Rey to take care of herself.

There are no hurt feelings on Finn’s part.  He doesn’t try to persuade or manipulate her to change her mind.  He simply wishes that she takes care of herself.

Here are a few other bullet point items I want to highlight.

- Kylo Ren force pushing Rey into a tree and Finn coming to her aid and kneeling beside her reminds me of Anakin choking out Padme on Mustafar and Obi-Wan Kenobi going to Padme.

- Finn’s main motivation for going to Starkiller base was to rescue Rey.

- Rey clutches & hugs an unconscious Finn who fought and lost to Kylo Ren.

- After Starkiller base is blown up and Rey, Finn and Chewbacca are in transit.  Rey plants a kiss on Finn���s forehead as he lies unconscious.

- When Finn wakes up in The Last Jedi the first thing he says is, “Where is Rey?“

- Finn’s motivation for trying to get away in an escape pod is basically keep Rey safe.  Finn thinks the fleet is doomed.  If Finn can to an escape pod and reach safety, Rey will be able to find him and she will be safe.

- I want to say that there is another time that Rey hugs Finn.  Maybe this is when Han, Finn and Rey first find each other on Starkiller?

Finn is not a perfect person.  He does lie to Rey about being part of the resistance.  In terms of being an honorable, moral and ethical person I think it is quite clear Finn is a better person than Kylo Ren / Ben Solo.  

But in real life and in fiction people can be attracted to and fall in love with horrible people.  ((I suppose right here my own words are a damning statement against reylo.))

Some observations I made from watching The Last Jedi

- When Kylo Ren and Rey have their first force skype call.  Kylo’s first reaction is confusion.  And his second reaction is to reach out with the force to try to manipulate Rey to bring Luke Skywalker to him.

- When Rey pushes Kylo Ren to explain why he killed his father, Han Solo--I find it curious that Kylo deflects the question and starts talking about Rey’s parents and how they threw her away.  Given the plot twist in TROS this now makes Kylo look like a manipulator and a liar.  In the best case scenario Kylo was telling a version of the truth that is incomplete.  I suppose in a way Kylo does indirectly answer Rey’s question by saying, “Let the past die.  Kill it if you have to.  That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.“  This could be read as manipulative and an attempt to push Rey to the dark side by killing Luke.

- I’m still not sure what to make of the 2nd force bond scene.  The connection is terminated and Kylo Ren is wiping his face with a gloved hand and we see...water?  Kylo Ren’s tears on his glove?  There is a wave of water crashing against some rocks in front of Rey just before Kylo is seen wiping his face.

- When an unconscious Kylo Ren wakes up in the throne room.  It is just Kylo Ren and Hux.  It’s quick, but it looks like Hux reaches into his coat to draw a weapon and shoot Kylo Ren.

- What did Rey tell Chewbacca to tell Finn?  I’m sure someone knows, but I just need to do some more digging online.

- Kylo Ren vs Luke Skywalker.  Near the very end of the fight Kylo Ren says, “I’ll destroy her [Rey] and you and all of it.“

- Overall I’m just surprised how often Rey is brought to tears throughout these movies.  It’s understandable because of what she is going through and what she has been through.  Someone must have counted how many times Rey cries and how many times it was with X or Y character and what they were talking about. 

Rey and Kylo Ren: The Throne Room

Ok, so let’s sum up the events leading up to Kylo Ren’s proposal.

Rey is brought before Snoke who tortures her for information about Skywalker.

When Snoke gets the information he wants AND it becomes clear that Rey is a true Jedi who will not serve him, Snoke then orders Kylo Ren to kill Rey.

Kylo Ren spares Rey and kills Snoke.

Kylo Ren and Rey fight off the guards together.

Kylo gives his speech about letting old things die.  What stands out to me is Kylo does NOT specifically mention the First Order.  Snoke, Luke Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the resistance all need to die, but not the First Order.

Rey pleads with Ben not to do this.  Not to go down this path.  Which is reminiscent of what Padme said to Anakin on Mustafar.

Kylo / Ben says, “You’re still holding on!  Let go!”  ((Holding onto what exactly?  The resistance?  Hope?  The Jedi path?  The light side of the force?))  And once again Kylo / Ben talks about Rey’s parentage.

“You’re nothing, but not to me.  Please.”  For a while I have interpreted this as Kylo Ren / Ben Solo being honest and blunt to a fault, but seeing and listening to this again in it’s full context this does read as Kylo Ren being manipulative. Breaking Rey down, she comes from nothing, she is nothing, she has no place in this, but hey why don’t you join me and have a seat right next to me on the winning side. 

Final Thoughts:

- At the very least Kylo Ren’s conduct and behavior are red flags.  Regardless of the extent that Kylo Ren was manipulated and abused his behavior and his interactions with Rey in the TFA and TLJ are troubling to say the least.  There does come a point when someone cannot use the excuse of being abused to justify their abusive behavior.  “Ok, so you were abused and learned some bad habits and coping mechanisms, but here is the thing your actions are causing real harm to another person and that is not cool.”  It’s hard and it’s difficult to change those habits and people will slip up on the road to recovery.  I think we also need to recognize the complication that Rey and Kylo Ren are at war on opposite sides. 

- I think there was descent chemistry and a connection between Rey and Finn, but I feel like that gets de-railed at the end of TLJ when Finn is tending to Rose and Rey is interacting with Leia. 

- I think Rey and Finn is a lot less problematic than Rey and Kylo Ren / Ben Solo.  Just compare the throne room scene to the interaction between Finn and Rey at Maz’s place.

- Do I still ship reylo?  Here is how I will answer the question for now.  As flawed as Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is I do like him and find him to be a character I can relate to alongside Rey.  I have not seen TROS in theaters and don’t think I will waste my money going to see it.

I would have LOVED to see a happy ending for Ben Solo instead of a variant of Darth Vader’s redemption and death.  This has already been done, why not do something different?  Isn’t this ending more hopeful?  You know instead of Han, Luke, Leia dying in vain to save Ben. 

I would have LOVED if the people making TROS put more careful thought and consideration into Ben’s story arc and character development.

Fitting with the theme of: finding the balance, not everything is black and white, there are a lot of grey areas / ambiguity, etc.

I would have been fine with some sort of ending where Ben faces some sort of punishment for his crimes and he is neither condemned to death or is completely pardoned without consequences.

I am very curious to know what political scientists and psychologists would say about sentencing someone like Kylo Ren / Ben Solo for war crimes.  In the comics that have been released so far it seems like Ben Solo is much younger when he is turned to the dark side and taken in by the First Order.  I think in TROS it’s revealed that Ben’s current age is 30 and he was 23 when he joined Snoke and the First Order.  At age 23 Ben Solo is considered an adult, he is not a child soldier.  “But he was being manipulated before he was even born.“  I hear you...unfortunately I don’t know how or if that would factor into Ben Solo’s being charged with war crimes.

Right now, I am in favor of ignoring the mess that is TROS and replacing it with fanfiction where Rey and Ben Solo are able to live a health and happy life.  And perhaps some day they will rebuild a new Jedi order that strives to accept and learn from the mistakes of the past.

- Is Kylo Ren / Ben Solo worthy of redemption?  I think in order to answer this question we need to ask, what does it mean to be redeemed?  What does someone have to do in order to be redeemed or atone for their wrong doing? 

I think the short answer is it’s complicated and everyone has different opinions.  Some people are probably of the opinion that Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is beyond redemption.  There is nothing he can do.  He can never do enough to make up for what he has done.

I think the more complicated answer is it’s a long process and not everyone will forgive you--heck maybe no one will forgive you. 

And whether you are punished or not punished is an entirely different matter. 

There are things Kylo Ren / Ben Solo has done that he can never take back.  Kylo Ren cannot bring Han Solo back from the dead or any of the hundreds or thousands of people he has cut down.  The fact Kylo Ren has murdered even one person is probably reason enough in the eyes of some people for why he can never be redeemed.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo turned toward the light and toward Rey.  In my opinion I think this action could be considered an act of repentance, but falls short of redeeming / atoning for all his past sins.  I think full redemption / atonement is a much more lengthier process.

Ultimately, I think this is a question worth pondering for ourselves.