#hey if it gets them off my floor
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
crying-in-the-clean-utility · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
11 notes · View notes
shower-phantom-ideas · 1 year ago
Text
Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.
Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.
Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.
Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.
He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.
At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#im 100% here for danny using his powers for stupid shit and not the important battle stuff#this post wasn’t meant to be like this so I guess heres for you guys who read my stupid tags#I was gonna have the batfam adopt danny after a reveal and just not know all the crazy stuff he can do#they think they got him figured out then at the manner he does something like seep into the floor to get his forgotten school bag#or he turns invisible cause he got caught parnking and bruce is talking to him and steph but he just dips#no wait I can do better. he gets yelled at by bruce (aka new father figure) for eating a corn chip off the floor and just vanishes from…#… from getting surprised. meanwhile bruce is like!?!?!?!!?#just imagine them going crazy because they have no idea his powerset and they thought they did#his new siblings make a game of it#they get on missions and keep asking danny to do more and more impossible stuff just to see if he will reveal a new power#hey danny go scope out the area but make sure you arent seen ok#and hes like sure thing fam and goes invisible and intangible#doesn’t think to just take out the baddies and returns to them with a full floor plan and locatikn of all the baddies and drugs#like wtf#hey danny think you can do anything about that generator? and hes like sure thing fam and then freezes it#danny bro this guy is out of control! little help? and danny just walks up to the guy and overshadows him and handcuffs himself#brother daniel I dint think we can get in but theres a small hole here in the wall#would you be able to do anything about that? and instead of just walking thru the wall danny shifts his body and goes thru the hole#as if he had no bones and became liquid#the game gets intense and breaks bruce so he gives in first (yes he was playkng too) and just asks danny to show them his powers#he will say some shit like ‘ah hey chum think you can show us all your abilities? that was we can coordinate better in the field.’#dannys just like ‘yea daddio sure thing’ then proceeded to show off his entire move set minus wail until bruce showed him a chamber…#… that could ‘with stand’ his power (spoiler he destroyed that fucking toom lmao)#ok my spaghetti rings and meatballs have been done for a while and juliet is trying to eat them out the microwave so hopefully these tags#fed yall goobers#man I should have just made a second post lmao#stood in the kitchen too long typing and they got cold
1K notes · View notes
backpackingspace · 6 days ago
Text
Eurylochus trying to physically drag odysseus by his ankles as odysseus clings to some tree root. (They've reached a stalemate. Polites couldn't make it today for some reason, he had blacksmithing training.)
Eurylochus: how the fuck are you king?
Odysseus, who needs to get all his dramatics out before going back to being responsible: didn't you hear i stole it from my dad
Eurylochus: nevermind I'm just going to kill you
Odysseus: I mean you can try ONE of us is being trained by the goddess of war
@www-dot-why-are-you-here-dot-com
37 notes · View notes
skwivr · 2 months ago
Text
-
#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
11 notes · View notes
peppermintack · 5 months ago
Text
show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
8 notes · View notes
carcarrot · 5 months ago
Text
well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
7 notes · View notes
judicent · 6 months ago
Text
Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
7 notes · View notes
t4tstarvingdog · 2 months ago
Text
had the craziest nightmare today. hit every nightmare genre and added a new one just for me
#timothy's txts.#late getting off my break at work for my worst manager BUT at the worst place i worked#walked into my manager in a meeting with EVERY head person in our district and they all chided me for being late and told me to hurry and#then i couldn’t find my apron#and then the street turned into a riot with cars being targeted by rockets and pedestrians being. also hit by rockets ?#this lady and i were by each other and we were like well normally we wouldn’t steal these motorbikes (they were hot pink though and swag as#hell) and then we started trying to escape but my seat was too high so i couldn’t drive safely#eventually we made it to her house with a small group of my coworkers / friends#and then a coworker i really liked got targeted and killed bc of me and the killers were shouting my name and hunting me down#so i go inside this lady’s house and it’s huge and honestly really nice#and i’m like hey do you have a toolbox PLEASE i need an alan wrench to lower the seat so i can drive safely and get away#and she was like yeah second floor#i asked which room? give me a landmark of the room so i don’t search every one#and she said it’s directly on the landing you can’t miss it#i go upstairs (the people hunting me in a red minivan have pulled up to her house and are suspiciously pulling all around it and backing up#and looking in the windows and i don’t know if this lady would sell me out) and ITS A TOY HOUSE. ???!??? not a toolbox…#so i’m searching but the people come in so i’m running through rooms and being quiet and make my way down to the basement that connects to#the garage and look desperately for a fucking alan wrench and they’re getting closer and i go through a small closet and there’s a trap door#and i go in there where there’s another hidden door and i finally get to the garage#and i find a tool box and decide to write the lady a note thanking her and telling her why i left so quickly#but all the papers i find are filled with scary notes and i’m wondering why they make me so uneasy#until i realize they’re notes that were written to Me from. a guy who really fucked me up#and one of them says ‘trans hot’ and i literally go :( i don’t want to be trans hot…#<- specifically from him because of the issues.#and then i realize that he’s the one hunting me down to Get me (the red van was irl his family’s car lmao)#and i’m panicking in an increasing amount and i won’t be able to get to the motorbike and escape with my coworkers and friends#and then my sibling woke me up asking if i wanted a breakfast sandwich or pancakes. so. crazy dream to have at nine in the morning#ask to tag
3 notes · View notes
wabblebees · 10 months ago
Text
.
#have been attempting to make a self-tape for this audition for DAYS#after a whole helluva lotta bullshit having to do with hunting down a time+space+camera to film with i Finally managed to get some takes#then some weird bullshit with the camera's sd card happened where i wasnt able to pull the files off onto my laptop#FINALLY able to copy the files to my laptop. FINALLY able to access playback (the video camera i borrowed wouldnt let me access its gallery#FINALLY watching them... they all kinda suck so far but thats Fine at least i Have Them yk#get to take 7 and its actually not nearly as terrible as the previous 6!! feelin pretty good abt this one!! dont get hopes too high ofc but#i mean hey this ones acceptable if the last few arent any good either & just in case i cant go thru with my plans for tmrw to do a reshoot#so yk i start to rename the file so i can tell which clip it is!#Whole Laptop Crashes#WAHOO#typed this up to avoid freakin out while carefully rebooting her. bbg dont do this to me#luckily i already saved multiple contingency copies just in case (bc ive already had so many issues i was feelin Extra Cautious)#so i at least dont have to worry about dealing with the sd card bullshit Again. ugh#EDITING TO SAY: SHE LIVES!! laptop is fine after powering back up & files are unscathed!! was able to retitle & keep on truckin no problem#god i hate dealing with video as a medium#*this* is why im a stage performer not a screen actor lmao#fuck this shit. juust gimme a floor and an audience and ill make it worrk#cameras are fickle creatures on-par with printer machines#im rly excitednervous abt this audition tho; only submitted my resume+headshot on a whim & didnt rly think anything would come of it#but they contacted me and asked for a tape!! so im like !!!!! okayy sure id love to send that !!! i just have to face The Horrors first#if i dont get it then thats not the end of the world or anyth; but itd be SO FUCKING COOL if my v first submission landed me my first gig!!#so uhh. pls put out a good thought to the universe for my self-tape landing me the chance to perform in this queer play festival !!#bee speaks#🤞🤞🤞
4 notes · View notes
luciana-silentstar · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.
#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao#somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways#have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so#I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao#I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh#when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me#this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha#on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny#off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically#my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently#ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW#Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED#I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao#anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3#I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god#still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell#also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee#Dragonheart#Illusion#Brilliant Vision#Myth#Chocolate Dream#mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options#also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao#I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now
28 notes · View notes
thedreadvampy · 1 year ago
Text
Kinda pissy bc in my return to work interview (my line manager is on leave so my senior manager did it) she said oooh you've had 7 absences this year that's kind of a lot
but I just looked back through my calendar and I would say actually it's 5 1/2. Cause one I had a PTSD episode at lunchtime and called my boss in tears from my kitchen floor and I was gonna take the remaining 2.5 hours of my day off and work them back later and she was like nah man shut up you're off sick you don't owe anyone that time back. so that was not even a whole day it was like. A longish meeting's worth of time.
but also one illness is recorded as two absences because. and this'll teach me. I had flu but we had a tight deadline so I was off for a day, then came on to work for a day to meet that deadline, then I was off the next day, still with flu. so that's two separate absences. because I came into work when I should have been resting.
so like. Fuck me for trying I guess.
(it's not super relevant cause there's no real unifying condition that needs action. MH episode, migraine, flu, food poisoning, migraine, COVID. and we know about the migraines and have stuff in place to minimise them. It just seems fucked up to me that it counts more against me that I came in in the middle of 2 days of sick leave than that I've been off for a solid week.)
14 notes · View notes
tj-crochets · 2 years ago
Text
Hey y’all! Do you have any recommendations for brands of vitamin B12 supplements?  My doctor’s been trying to figure out why I keep having bad muscle spasms and cramps, and a blood test finally showed something as being not normal! Well. Sort of. I’m apparently still in the normal range for B12, but low enough that it could be causing problems? So it’s supplements time, but she didn’t even give me a dosage. I know vitamins can vary wildly in quality and I remember that like third party companies that examine them exist but idk what seals or labels or endorsements I should be looking for
12 notes · View notes
seokmatthewz · 2 years ago
Text
got to campus an hour before my class started and dear fucking god did i apparently predict that my morning would go so wrong immediately FDLKSDLFKS
#ive walked so much in the past hour and stressed so much too KLFDSKL#i got to campus and had to get off the bus early and walk in bc there was construction going on#so the bus couldnt go onto campus so i walk to the library to print my paper#bc my printer at my apartment has been broken for a while so i was like 'okay ill come early itll be easy ill have time to spare'#so i went to the library to print and the printer wasnt working for whatever reason#so i went to the support desk like 'hey its not working?' and they were like 'oh maybe u deposited the money for the printer wrong'#so i double checked and it was in the right place and it still went back and it wasnt working anyways so they told me to try another printer#so i went back and tried all 5 and none of them worked#so they told me to go up to IT so i did and he said maybe theres an issue w ur card lemme reset the association#so he did and i reassociated it and it still didnt work#so he was like yeah go to the campus card office#so i have to walk across campus to go there and then walk up 4 flights of stairs and i talk to the lady at the booth#and i tell her the issue and she tells me that someone reissued my card in 2020??? i was not in the city KFLDSKFL#so she had to reprint it for me and she said that i could use the printer on the same floor next to the office#lo and behold: it isnt working KFDSLK so i have to walk BACK to the library across campus#and i FINALLY get it printed and walk ALL THE WAY BACK to the building where my class is#and i did all this with a mere 4 minutes to spare before my class started KLFSDKLFSDL#anyways im exhausted FKLDSKLFDS#iri.txt#i dont need to pay attention to this class anymore bc all the work is done so im gonna gif matthew as a treat for my struggle KLDSFKLD
3 notes · View notes
this-is-a-url · 2 years ago
Text
Homestuck ships can so easily be "experts warn that polycule could expand to cover all of seattle" style, but then that sucks so much bc nobody else ships it but you
Nepeta: :33 < This is my moirail Equius, and his matesprit Karkat, and Karkat's boyfriend Dave, and their girlfriend Jane
#LIKE HOW PERFECT WOULD THAT SHIP BE#Movie nights would be absolute hell. None of these bitches can shut up for a movie except Equius and#he would be busy holding Nepeta back so he can't take out Karkat's eye over shipping disagreements#like Jane/Dave/Karkat (all dating) is the amazing and (qpr) Nepeta/Equius mixed with (romantic) Equius/Karkat is THE best dynamic#so just throw those together and you get perfection + Equius and Dave's interaction in cannon is great already#I wanna see them all thrown in a hive/house and just see how it works#I wanna see Nepeta‚ Jane‚ Equius‚ and Dave all painting their nails together on the floor (Karkat's off reading a book somewhere nearby)#Nepeta and Jane are the only ones who actually know what they're doing so they end up painting Equius' and Dave's too (respectively)#Equius DOES try to paint his own at first but his fine moter control still isn't that great rn (though he's getting better)#so he keeps getting it all over his actual hand.#When he starts to get anygry and frustrated after so many mistakes is the point where Nepeta offers to help him#He ends up getting nails that /SO/ do not fit his color scheme (bc he didn't actually request any color and she just did what she wanted)#but he doesn't complain. He just looks at her handiwork fondly bc how could he ever be upset over something she so lovingly did for him?#Also Karkat helps Nepeta rearrange her shipping wall. He thinks all of her choices are incorect and complains the whole time‚ but it's one#of those things he'll do while grumbling when it's a ''Hey this is weird‚ though it makes my weirdo happy so fiiiiiiiiiiiine''#Dave annoys Equius to death but they're still friends.#Just with a bit more insults and degrading comments that Equius will apologize for later when things settle down.#I mean it's not like they don't have super fun times between themselves tho. You've seen their conversation when Dave got the broken sword#Also Equius was canonically attracted to Dave during that conversation so like.....#And unrelated to that: If Karkat and/or Dave are ever having a fight with John they bake shit to annoy him#Everyone prefers when Karkat's the one to do it though because Dave ''Doritoes is a food group'' Strider makes the house smell like smoke#while Karkat's baking is only ever sugary goodness#It's an easy way for the God of Wind to lower the house's temperature by like 40° but who the fuck cares when there's cookies and/or cake.#*Jane (<- It think. I'm p sure I put ''John'' on accident but tumblr wont let me see my tags in full anymore so I can't tell)#On second thought‚ I believe Jane only dislikes cake and Betty Crocker stuff specifically#but fuck it we're already in au land so why not add more hcs to the mix#url rambles
5 notes · View notes
gotta-bail-my-quails · 1 month ago
Text
i dont like taking surveys usually but if it lets me give some scathing remarks to my shitty landlords then boy give me enough space for a fucking novel i WILL tell them to get their heads out of their asses
#you get 1.4 million in rent EVERY MONTH for this shit??#i swear there is an entire ant colony under my floorboards and like fifty spiders hanging around waiting to feast on them#i had to treat the place MYSELF#also why is the laundry room so fucking disgusting like ik its college students but what the fuck#just a WALL of lint in the lint catcher cover thing#and they all have like. brown dirt covering them and sand#and the place couldnt clean that shit up BEFORE we moved in??#the last place was cleaner at least even if they decided to replace all the laundry machines RIGHT AFTER THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTED#INSTEAD OF DOING IT DURING THE SUMMER WHEN NOBODY IS THERE#also the food situation is shit because why the hell is nothing really labelled#youve got one fridge with some like. gluten free cookies i guess#you (maybe) label whats vegan and gluten or dairy free on the online menu (not the physical labels??)#you only JUST started even labelling what your fucking desserts are#im not sure i trust your stale ass cereal let alone the ice cream machine#is it a good idea to have a self serve smoothie bar? probably fucking not but hey at least you tried to be cool#the music playing is obnoxious though#also just straight up dont reinforce quiet hours. in fact why not break them yourself. shitbags#hell knows no hatred like that of a person who has to deal with college students#also i can almost guarantee im one of the youngest here#i am so tired of being the responsible one. i am so so tired#this isnt about my landlord anymore#genuine-fucking-ly why do you all wear shoes in the house and why do you put said shoes on the table we put food on and why did you leave#your nasty little crumbs all over the couch and floor last night and why dont you clean your hair off the sink after brushing and why dont#you wash your dishes or at least rinse the food off instead of leaving them by the shared sink for days#and why dont you stop coming home stinking of weed and watching tiktoks loud as hell and closing doors like you are slamming them#and why dont you fucking communicate your problems to my goddam face and why dont you tell us before you start a fucking hair business#in the living room???#and why has nobody though to clean the gotdam microwave. why have your meatball bits been in there for like. 3 weeks#'just tell them if you have a problem with it' WHO LEAVES MEAT BITS IN THE MICROWAVE AFTER SPILLING IT???#i wouldnt have a problem if you had some common fucking sense
0 notes
imaginedisish · 3 months ago
Text
Dare (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Hey guys. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support I got this morning. All of your comments really warmed my heart. Thank you so, so, so much. I ended up getting this done pretty fast. Went with "Dare" by Gorillaz for the title. Made me feel better to write. I like this one. Hope you do, too. Enjoy!
Summary: Logan finds out you've never been eaten out while playing a game of "Truth or Dare," and he's more than willing to change that.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT!!! Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, softdom!Logan, pussydrunk!Logan (he does not let up, he is starving for you), older!Logan, implied aged gap (reader is in her 20s/old enough to teach at the institute), cocky!Logan, he is an absolute service dom in this, friends to lovers, mentions of mental health/self worth, fluff, some hurt to comfort, some angst, afab/fem!reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 4,235 wowza didn't expect that and oh my god this gif
Tumblr media
You’re lying on your floor—the door to your room wide open. Everyone is out anyway. It’s Friday night at the mansion—no one will see you like this. Students’ papers are scattered around you. You stare up at the ceiling, feeling choked up. It had been a bad day—a bad week. Maybe even a bad year. You feel like you’re slipping, losing yourself. 
Teaching the older students had become beyond challenging—possibly because you aren’t much older than them in the first place. Most days, it felt like everyone expected greatness from you, given the strength of your powers, which naturally comes with responsibility, and that can be incredibly overwhelming. It had all been—if you were being brutally honest—an absolutely terrible time. 
So, you’re lying on your floor, feeling numb. You stopped grading papers at least an hour ago, and simply decided to stare at the ceiling, your head spinning. You wanted to calm the noise, to take a breather. Luckily, you’re alone—everyone is on a mission or out given that it’s Friday night. 
Or so you thought. 
“What on Earth are you doing?” A familiar voice cuts through the silence like a knife, jarring you, and forcing you to look up. And there he is, in a white t-shirt and denim jeans, arms crossed tightly against his chest, leaning in the doorway. Logan. You want to roll your eyes at how good he looks. You want to slap yourself for thinking it in the first place.
He smirks at you, his brows furrowed playfully. You let your head fall back to the floor. “Grading papers,” you mutter. You can hear his footsteps as he walks into the room, drawing closer to you. 
“Doesn’t look like you’re grading papers to me,” he teases. You can hear the smile in his voice. “Why aren’t you out with Jean or Rogue?” 
He stands next to you, and you look up at him. “Didn’t feel like it,” you mumble, forcing yourself to sit up. You draw your knees into your chest. You decide to turn the question around on him. “Why aren’t you out?”
He sits down next to you, stretching his long legs in front of him, his shoulder bumping against yours as he settles in. He shrugs. “Somebody’s gotta keep an eye on you, right?” He jokes, nudging his elbow into your arm. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. It’s impossible to fight it when he’s next to you. Your eyes meet his, and his smile quickly turns into something else—concern. “You’ve been off lately.”
You swallow harshly. “Did Jean or Rogue say something?” You ask. They’d notice, maybe they told Logan. “Did they ask you to stay with me or something?”
But Logan shakes his head. “No. I could just tell,” he says, worry clear in his voice. “Thought I’d hang back with you. All my idea.” He tilts his head, his jaw working, his brows furrowing again. “Is something going on?” 
You take a deep breath, turning away from him. You’re suddenly overwhelmed by his presence, by his kindness and his care. He stayed home for you. “I’m okay,” you mutter, avoiding the truth. 
“Hey,” Logan whispers, tentatively reaching his hand to your knee, waiting for you to shove him away. His palm is warm against your skin, calming and stabilizing. You turn back to look at him, his brows raised incredulously. “I know that’s not true,” he says. He has always been able to read you like a book. “What’s going on?”
You swallow harshly. “I’ve just been having a tough time lately,” you say, distracted by the way his thumb brushes across your knee. “I…” You trail off, letting your eyes fall closed. “Things are hard.”
“You can talk about it if you want,” he says, his voice deep and steady. “I’m here.” 
You sniffle, struggling to keep yourself in check. “I just…” you pause, looking off to the side. “Everything sucks.” You take another deep breath. “And the students are so hard.” You point to the piles of papers scattered around your floor. “And then there’s me, and all my shit. My powers. The responsibilities we have. I’m young, and I’m still learning. And fuck, Logan, this all just feels so impossible sometimes. It…it…” You trail off, finally running out of words, out of steam.
“It hurts.” He finishes your sentence, taking the words right out of your mouth. You turn back towards him, your eyes instantly meeting his. “It hurts a lot.”
You nod. “Yeah, exactly.” He squeezes your knee comfortingly. “You get it,” you murmur. 
“It’s gonna be okay,” he soothes, his hand lifting off your knee, his arm wrapping around your shoulder instead. “I’ve got you.” You let yourself lean into his touch, resting your head in the crook of his neck. “Let’s take your mind off things, yeah?”
You nod against him, not wanting to move away, not wanting to separate from him. He feels so nice, so solid. “What did you have in mind?” You ask, hoping it doesn’t involve getting up.
“Wanna play a game?” He offers, turning his head to look down at you. You smile widely, almost mockingly. “What?” He chides. “You think I don’t know how to have fun?”
You laugh softly. “I just don’t see you as a game guy, Lo,” you confess. He chuckles, and you can feel his laughter reverberating through his chest. “Can you even think of one to play?”
Logan’s still laughing, shaking his head. “What about truth or dare?” He ever so slightly pulls you in closer, his lips pressed against the side of your head. 
You giggle, feeling light for the first time in a long time. “Are we in seventh grade?” You ask teasingly. You felt like a teenager, honestly—being next to Logan always made you feel like a love-sick schoolgirl. But you know you and him could never be. You were younger than Logan��everyone was—but you, being in your 20s, assume that Logan doesn’t see you the way you see him. 
He just shakes his head and laughs, pulling you back to reality. “Truth or dare?” He asks, ignoring your middle school comment and officially starting the game. 
You don’t want to get up, don’t want to move an inch, so you answer: “Truth,” hoping it isn’t anything too crazy. 
Logan thinks for a second, his head resting on yours. “Why’d you pick truth instead of dare?” He finally asks. 
You roll your eyes. “Boring!” You tease. “I only picked it because I don’t feel like moving.” And then you realize…perhaps your answer is more revealing than you previously considered. Your heart thunders in your chest. 
Logan hums. “And why don’t you want to move, exactly?” He’s onto you. 
“You asked your question, you got an answer,” you protest, trying to shut him down. “No follow-up questions.” It’s your turn now. “Truth or dare?” You ask. 
“Truth,” he says. “Because maybe I don’t feel like moving either.”
You smile, and you can feel him looking down at you. You’re too nervous to meet his gaze. You think for a moment, racking your brain for a question. “Did you really stay home for me, and was it all your own idea?” You finally ask. You regret the question almost immediately, fearful of the honest answer. 
“Yes,” he responds without a beat. “Jean said you were staying in, and said she didn’t know why, so I stayed too.” He pauses, and you can hear his steady breathing amidst the silence. “I was worried, princess.” The pet name burns a hole through your heart. “Needed to know that you were okay.”
You can feel tears building behind your sinuses. “Thank you, Lo,” you whisper. “That means a lot.”
He presses the ghost of a kiss to the crown of your head—almost not quite there. But you can feel it, hesitant and tentative. “It’s nothing, no need to thank me.” You finally find the courage to look up at him and find him smiling down at you. His lips part. “Truth or dare?” He asks again. 
You can feel some sort of tension brewing, building, thick and heavy. You try to ignore it, try to brush it off. Your heart hammers in your chest. “Truth,” you pick again. “But get a little more creative this time.”
He pauses, the gears in his head turning. And then finally: “Why’s your heart beating so fast? It’s loud, too.” 
Your eyes widen, suddenly remembering Logan’s heightened senses. He can hear everything. “Uh…” You trail off, not sure how to get out of this. “I-It’s not…”
He laughs. “You’re a terrible liar. You know that?” His voice is deep and honeyed, smooth. “You gotta answer the question, or I get to ask another.”
“Those are not the rules!” You protest, lifting your head to look at him. He’s got that shit-eating grin on his face, the one that makes your stomach drop. 
He tugs you into his chest again, his lips at the shell of your ear. “Then answer the question,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin, sending a chill down your spine. He’s so close. Too close. Your heart is only beating faster, louder now. 
“I don’t know,” you whisper. But of course, you know. It’s all because of him. “Just anxious, I guess.” It’s a half-truth—you’re certainly nervous, but you can’t bring yourself to tell him why. 
“No need to be nervous, sweetheart,” Logan coos, his thumb brushing circles into your shoulder. “It’s just me.”
Yes, exactly, you want to say. It’s you. But you don’t. You try to steady your breathing, try to calm down. “My turn,” you force yourself to say. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” he says darkly. “And make it good.” You can hear the cockiness in his voice—a sudden shift in his tone. 
“We should just call this truth or truth,” you say, mulling over a question in your mind. It’s hard to think with him this close—hard to breathe. You want to rile him up, to find out what makes him tick—to make him itch the way he makes you. And then it hits you: the perfect question. “When was the last time you…” You stop yourself, suddenly too nervous to ask. 
“When was the last time I what, darlin’?” He asks, cocking his head to the side, raising his eyebrows. 
You huff. You’ve fallen into your own trap. There’s no backing out now. “When was the last time…” You pause again, biting your lip. You close your eyes. “…somebody got you off?” 
“Been a while,” he says simply. Your eyes flutter open, and Logan is completely relaxed, his eyes trained on you. He isn’t annoyed. He’s unbothered, unprovoked, as if you had asked him what the weather was going to be like tomorrow. “But it depends on how you mean. So, what do you mean?” He finishes. 
You’re slightly frustrated by how easy it was for him to answer. “I don’t know,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders. “Whatever the last time was.”
“Few years back, not particularly proud of it,” he huffs. “Girl took care of me in a bar. That was it.” 
You nod. “Must’ve been nice,” you whisper, suddenly feeling a bit disheartened. You catch his drift; you know it didn’t mean anything. You likely didn’t know Logan at that time, having only arrived at the Institute two years ago. You know you shouldn’t feel jealous, shouldn’t care that he was ever with someone else, even for a fleeting moment. You’ve had boyfriends. You’ve been with other people. 
“It was fine. Just a blowjob.” He says it nonchalantly. “Didn’t mean a thing.” You look straight ahead, waiting for him to elaborate. But he doesn’t. “Truth or dare?” He finally asks. 
“Truth.” Your fake, plastered-on smile becomes real when his eyes meet yours. It’s just what happens when you look at him. “And make it interesting.”
The corner of his mouth turns up slyly, and you know he has something up his sleeve. “When was the last time somebody did that to you?” He asks. 
You cock your head to the side. “What do you mean?” But you already know exactly what he’s asking. And you desperately do not want to give him the answer.
“Got you off, like that,” he husks. “With their mouth.”
Fuck. “Uh…” You trail off. You can feel heat spreading across your chest and up your neck, your skin prickling. “Never,” you say honestly. 
“What?” Logan’s voice cuts through the tension like a knife. “Never?”
You’re suddenly embarrassed. Your skin feels tight—so do your shorts and tank top. “Never,” you repeat, looking down at your knees, still pulled in tightly to your chest. Your heart beats rapidly. “Just hasn’t happened yet,” you choke out. “I’ve been with people, but…”
“Hey,” he whispers, suddenly grabbing your chin and angling you up to face him. “It’s okay,” he soothes. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, princess.”
You smile shyly, reveling in his touch. “You didn’t,” you insist honestly. “Just a little embarrassed.”
Logan shakes his head, his eyes softening. “Nothing to be embarrassed about,” he assures. “You deserve to be taken care of.” His hand slides across your jaw and cups the back of your neck. “Deserve to feel good.”
Your eyes flutter closed at his touch. “Lo,” you whisper, struggling to keep your composure. Heat pools between your thighs. “Tr-truth or dare.”
His forehead presses to yours. “I think we’re done with the game, pretty girl,” he rasps, the arm around your shoulder slipping down to your waist. “Unless I get to give you a dare this time.”
“What’s the dare?” You ask, your eyes fluttering back open. His lips are so close. Your noses touch softly.
He works his jaw, licking his lips. “Let me eat you out, pretty girl,” he pants, his chest heaving against yours. “Let me take care of you like you should’ve been already.” He hates the idea that you’ve never been touched properly, the idea that those younger guys didn’t know how to treat you right. But he can fix that. He can make you feel good.
“Fuck,” you curse, his breath fanning across your lips. “A-are you sure?” You ask. “I don’t want you to do it just because you feel bad for me or—” “You think that’s what this is about?” He cuts you off, pulling you closer so that your body faces his, your thighs slotting together like puzzle pieces. “You think I want this just because I feel bad for you?”
“Well…” You search his eyes. “Yes,” you say. 
Logan’s face falls, and he shakes his head. “I want you, pretty girl,” he pants, his knee rubbing against your aching core. “Wanted you this whole time.” His palm presses firmly against your back, his other hand gripping your neck tighter. He wants, no, needs you closer. “You ruined me the second I saw you. Haven’t been with anyone since then.”
“Logan,” you whisper, bringing your hands up to his neck. “I want you too. Always have,” you confess.
He smiles, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to yours. “Then let me do this for you,” he rasps, almost begging, like he needs this more than you do. “Need to make you feel good, beautiful.” “Please,” you breathe. “Want you so bad, Lo.”
He curses under his breath, his lips capturing yours, harder this time. This kiss is starving, all-consuming. His tongue swipes across your lower lip, and you open your mouth, inviting him inside. He lowers you down carefully, sure not to break the kiss, guiding your back to the wood floor below. 
His thighs rest on either side of your hips as he hovers over you, bracing himself with his forearm. His free hand trails up your body, exploring your curves, hiking your shirt above your breasts. He smirks against your lips at the realization that you have no bra on. 
“Look at you,” he mumbles, rolling a nipple under his thumb, palming your breast. “Fucking perfect.” His fingertips drag to the other side, massaging you gently, taking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pinching softly. “Can smell you, you know,” he grunts. “Know you’re soaking for me, darlin’.”
His hand slides between the valley of your breasts, trailing down your stomach, until his fingertips bump into the waistband of your panties. He hesitates, looking down at you, waiting for you to change your mind, to tell him to stop. “Please,” you beg. “Need you, Lo.”
Logan smirks, his hand slipping under the hem of your shorts and inside your panties. “Love it when you call me that, sweetheart,” he groans. His fingertips flick your clit gently before finding your folds, feeling your arousal. “Barely even touched you,” he tuts. “And she’s already crying for me.”
He prods your entrance, spreading your slick, teasing you. He bites your lips, sucking so hard he might bruise—might draw blood—and you hope he does. You want proof that he was here, proof that he wants you—needs you this badly. You moan as his fingers find your clit again, drawing a few soft circles before pulling away, his hand slipping out of your shorts. 
You grab his biceps needily, impatiently, your nails digging into his skin. “Don’t stop,” you cry out. “Please, Logan.” 
He swallows your moans with another kiss, his lips trailing down to your jaw, then your neck—that sensitive spot just under your ear. “Don’t worry, pretty girl,” he soothes, biting down on your pulse point, licking the hollow of your throat. “Don’t think I could stop if I tried.” He nips at your collarbone, shoving your tank top further up your chest as his lips drag down the valley of your breasts. 
He kisses his way to your stomach, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down your legs. His palms spread across your inner thighs, yanking them apart. He settles between them, his face just inches from your heat. He presses a chaste kiss to your clit, still all too clothed, hidden behind your panties. 
“Lo,” you whine. He breathes you in, pressing another kiss to your clit. He digs his fingers into the hem of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs. 
“Wanna take my time with you, sweetheart,” he grunts, finally throwing your panties to the side. He spreads your legs wider, his face settling back between your thighs. You can feel his breath against your cunt, warm and teasing. “Wanna take care of you.” His lips finally find your clit again, and he licks at you. 
His tongue is soft, warm, wet. He laps at you again, harder this time, and you moan his name. “Fuck,” you curse as he licks a long stripe through your folds and back up to your clit, flicking the bud. Your legs twitch, your hips backing away involuntarily at the newfound pleasure. Logan’s hands slide under your ass, yanking you back to his face. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” He mumbles teasingly against you, the vibration of his deep, bassy voice rocking your core. “Not letting you go until I’m done with you, darlin’.”
You curse under your breath as he licks another long, slow stripe through your folds before settling on your clit. His tongue draws gentle circles around the bud, and you can’t hold back the loud moan that falls from your lips. 
“Yeah?” Logan husks between laps. “Feels good, pretty girl?”
“Y-yes,” you stammer, looking down at Logan, his face buried against your cunt. His eyes are trained on yours, watching your every move, taking in the way you’re squirming for him. “D-didn’t know it would feel this good, Lo.”
“Gonna try something, okay?” He says, his eyes searching yours. You nod emphatically, bracing yourself. His lips wrap around your clit, his teeth lightly grazing the bud as he pulls it into his mouth. And then he sucks, hard. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, your back arching off the floor.
He releases the bud, and does it again, sucking harder this time. Tears brim at the corners of your eyes, pleasure coursing through your veins. “Logan!” You cry out, your nails digging into the floor below, searching for purchase. “Fuck!” He laps at you soothingly, drawing tighter, faster circles around your clit. 
“You okay?” He coos between laps, his tongue swirling rapidly. 
You swallow, meeting his gaze again. The sight of him between your legs, working your clit, his hair a disheveled mess—it’s overwhelming. “Yeah,” you heave. “More than okay.”
He smirks against you and wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking on the bud like hard candy. His right hand slides out from under your ass, trailing up your inner thigh. Your heart thunders in your chest as his fingertips find your folds, spreading your slick, your walls clenching down around nothing. 
“Know you need ‘em, pretty girl,” Logan croons, two fingers nudging your entrance. “Beg for it.”
But he’s sucking on your clit again, making it impossible to say a word. You whimper, your legs trembling. “P-please,” you stutter, choking on air. “Need…” You trail off, your eyes fluttering closed. You swallow harshly. “Need your fingers, Lo,” you finally manage. 
“That’s a good girl,” he praises, shoving two fingers deep inside you, down to his knuckles. 
“Fuck, thank you,” you whine, moaning his name as his fingers stretch you out. You suddenly feel so full, so warm, so close. He pulls out, only to plunge back in, deeper this time. He’s lapping at you with reckless abandon—a man starved, like you’re the air he needs to breathe. Your walls flutter around him, the liquid heat in your lower belly threatening to burst. 
“Tastes so good,” Logan mumbles against you, his long, thick fingers thrusting in and out. He hits that sweet spot deep inside you with every pump. “Such a sweet little pussy. Tastes better than I imagined.” You’re crumbling underneath him. His words alone might push you over the edge. “Nothing compares to you, you know that?”
Your walls flutter again, his fingers sinking deeper inside you. “You like that?” Logan husks. “Like knowing how much I want you? How much I need you?”
“Yes,” you groan, his fingers fucking into you, faster now. His teeth graze your clit as he pulls the bud back into his mouth and sucks roughly. “N-need you, too. Always.” 
“I know, pretty girl,” he soothes, scissoring inside you, dragging along your walls. He laps at you, his tongue stroking your clit. “Not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
You curse under your breath. You can feel yourself melting, your walls contracting and releasing. “Lo,” you call. “I’m so close. Wanna…” You trail off, unable to finish. 
“Can feel you squeezing me, sweetheart,” he breathes. “Don’t hold back. Let it happen,” he coaches, rocking into you. “Wanna taste you, wanna feel you come on my fingers.” He laps at you between sentences. “Come for me. Know you can do it.” And then everything is white-hot and blazing.
It’s earth-shattering—better than anything has ever felt before. The tension snaps, heat boiling under your skin. Everything is blurry, hazy, dizzied as you let go, and let go hard. You cry out Logan’s name, your thighs shaking as waves of pleasure drag you under. Your bones are burning, scorching. Everything is on fire—overwhelming and greedily all-consuming. 
Logan’s pumps slow, and he carefully pulls out of you. He laves at you, his tongue pushing through your folds, milking you dry, savoring every last drop. 
“Logan,” you whisper, your hands reaching down to his head, digging your fingers into his scalp. 
He hums against you, unwavering as his tongue laps at your folds, tasting your release. 
You’re still shaking, still coming down from your high. “Logan,” you call again, and he looks up this time, lifting his face from your cunt. Your release glistens on his chin, and he licks his lips clean of you. His eyes are dark, his palms squeezing your thighs possessively. 
“I’m not done yet, sweetheart,” he says, demand clear in his voice. 
Your heart flutters in your chest as he climbs up your body, hovering over you again. His lips find yours. “You taste that?” He mumbles, kissing you again, harder this time. “You taste how sweet you are?”
“Y-yes,” you answer, his hand sliding down your body, slipping between your legs, finding your overstimulated clit. 
He pinches the bud lightly, your back arching off the ground, your breasts pressing to his all-too-clothed chest. “Need more of you,” he husks, his hand dragging back up your body. He sits up and pulls you into his chest, taking all your weight as he hoists you up and stands. You instinctually wrap your legs around his waist. 
He places you in the center of your bed before striding across the room, closing and locking your bedroom door. “They’ll all be home soon,” Logan says, walking back towards you, spreading your legs and settling between your thighs. “Might have to be quiet for me, darlin’.”
“W-what do you—”
And then his face is buried deep inside your cunt, his tongue lapping desperately at your clit. “I told you,” he rasps. “I’m not finished with you yet.”
tags: @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesslut @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @zxaera @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @alastorssimp @alsoprettyinpink @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @evasmlp @derbygracie @rammakela @honeyfewr @ricefordays-blog1 @manipulatour
4K notes · View notes