#hey if any of you devs are fans reading our shit right now you should just hire us already :)

[auramindedd]

Fixed? Never - SMAU*

Part 3

CorpseHusband x FemReader

Warnings: cussing

A/N: again, any posts with a “ * ” attached to “smau” has writing in it. imma focus A LOT more on just the social media n message perspective, but y/n n corpse meet in this part soooo i had to add some writing :) something else b4 i forget; i’m updating my masterlist and changing it into a directory post that way you guys can also request through a google form! i’ll have requests open at all times unless i get too stressed out or if they overfill. due to me changing my masterlist, there’s gonna be about 6 posts i think. also,, thank you guys so much for 600 followers! i’ve been hitting a bunch of milestones and haven’t been remembering to say thank you, but just know that i appreciate every single one of you... also i love reading y’all’s comments 😭

🤍 directory

🕊 previous

☁️ next

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You make sure you’re set up before 6 PM, which was probably a mistake. You can’t sit still, you’re starting to get nervous, and you kind of just want to run away to McDonald’s.

Sure, you know Ludwig, Dream, and Rae, but it feels like you’re at school all over again. That anxious feeling of having to be with people while your best friends aren’t around.

You’re leg is bouncing, your nails are tapping on your desk, and you can’t stop running your hand through your hair. It probably looks like a fucking bird nest by now.

You start streaming, deciding that maybe talking to your supporters will make things a bit better.

“Hey, loves,” You greet in a not so Y/N-fashioned way. Of course, the chat catches on, and you’re being called out for it. You can’t help but giggle at the fact that your supporters know how you usually are.

@user: What happened to, “Hey, bitches!”

@user: Ou, someone is nervous.

Yeah, they obviously know you very well.

“Alright, let’s start over.” You clear your throat for dramatic effect because, well, when are you not dramatic? “Hey, bitches!” Yup, even you know that just feels right.

After a while of talking to your supporters, Rae sends you the Discord invite and the Among Us code. You join, feeling your nerves start to come back.

“Y/N!” Rae exclaims in excitement when she sees you’ve joined the Among Us lobby.

“Hi,” You say, shyness lacing your voice.

“Oh my God! The cutest voice.” Jack says. Wow, what a compliment coming from the Jack_Septic_Eye.

You take time to introduce yourself to everyone, trying to calm your nerves.

“Are we gonna start?” Ludwig’s impatient ass asks.

“We’re waiting for Corpse.” Rae explains.

Shit, another person you have to introduce yourself to?

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets quickly, very obviously racing to be the first to say hi to Corpse.

“Hey, Sykkuno,” Corpse chuckles, and woah, the last thing you expected. You can’t help but be surprised, and you know it’s showing on your face. Why? Because your supporters are teasing you in the chat.

“Corpse,” Rae says in a sing-songy tone. “This is Y/N.” And your heart drops to your fucking stomach. Every single time it happens when you have to meet someone, but now your heart is beating even faster because you’re obviously the only one who hasn’t met Corpse. They’re all expecting a reaction out of you...

“Hey, Y/N.” His deep, husky voice says. You can hear the smile in his voice and it helps ease your nerves.

“Hi,” You greet, shyness still lacing your voice.

Corpse chuckles, “So cute.” Now you’re blushing. Great...

Rae starts the game, saving you before the others can start teasing you.

Crewmate.

You’ve only played Among Us once, in a public server with Dream, George, Karl, and Alex, and then you got bullied for not knowing what the fuck to do.

To say the least, you’re pretty glad to be Crewmate and not Impostor.

“Y/N!” Jack shouts, walking up to you. You slightly jump, forgetting they’re playing with Proximity Chat.

“Jack!” You shout back, letting his astronaut catch up to you.

“We were expecting a reaction.” He says, and of course they were.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t know. I feel like he hears it a lot, don’t want to add on to the list of Things People Say To Him Everyday.”

“Yeah, he’s probably very grateful for that.”

“Grateful for what?” Charlie walks up to you two.

“Nothing,” Jack drawls. You’ve just met Charlie, but you know that he’d tease both you and Corpse about one another’s voices.

“Oh, I know!” Charlie exclaims, but before he can say what he knows-

“Okayyy! That’s enough interaction with Charlie for today.” Jack says, and you take that as a, ‘Walk the fuck away now, Y/N!’

You walk around, trying your best to finish tasks, but when it comes to the card swipe in Admin, you want to quit life as a whole.

“Ugh, I fucking quit.” You groan, slamming your hands on your desk. A deep, rumbling chuckle comes through on your headphones.

“Having trouble?” Corpse teases.

“Yeah. I wanna rip every strand of my fucking hair out.”

“Swipe it slower.” And with that, you try again. Voila! Just like magic.

“Well if I would’ve fucking known.” You groan, Corpse chuckling.

“Here, I can help you with the game.”

“Yes, please, I don’t know shit about it.”

“You know, you cuss a lot for having such a sweet, innocent, and cute voice.” Corpse laughs.

“Yeah,” You drawl. “I know, bad fucking habit.” You slap your hand over your mouth. How does someone cuss in every sentence? Get a filter, damn.

Corpse walks around with you as you both finish tasks, explaining how the game works, and giving you tips for when you do end up being an Impostor.

Honestly, you could listen to his voice all day. He’s also really sweet.

“What are you two up to?” Brooke asks, doing tasks in Electrical with you two. Corpse told you to make sure you’re always aware of your surroundings when you’re in Electrical. So, naturally, you’re freaking out, but silently and internally.

“Brooke,” Corpse warns. He doesn’t even have time to finish his warning. Brooke kills him, his body flopping over, the one bone sticking out from the top of his body. Your mouth falls open.

“Hey, Y/N. Let’s be besties!” You don’t know what to do, but ay, #girlsupportinggirls, right? So, you walk with her. She helps you along the way, also telling you tips on the game, explaining how everything works. Then, after about a minute, a whole 60 seconds, Corpse’s body is reported.

“Why Corpse? Such an innocent man with a beautiful voice.” Lud fake cries.

“Get over it,” Brooke says.

“It’s Brooke! Brooke’s an Impostor!” Lud shouts.

“What? No! I was with Y/N for a lot of this round.” Brooke defends herself, and oh fuck, who the fuck do you defend? You’ve just met both of them, one of them will possibly hate you forever.

“Y/N?” Sykkuno grabs your attention, snapping you out of your thinking.

“Yeah, she was. She wouldn’t have had time to kill Corpse. Where was the body?” Well, there you go, potentially ruining yours and Corpse’s blooming friendship. Sad Girl Hour, type beat.

“In Electrical,” Charlie says.

“Yeah, no way she would’ve had to time to kill him.”

Nobody’s voted out. Brooke hasn’t even told you who the second Impostor is so, you don’t know if you should stay with her or not.

As you and Brooke are walking around, or skipping as she sees it, and holding hands, Dream pops out of a vent. Well, there’s Imposter two.

“Woah! Dream, way to out yourself out.” You tease, throwing your head back and laughing.

“Please, you’ve been with Brooke the whole time. Don’t say anything.” Dream begs, making you and Brooke giggle.

“I won’t, I won’t.”

“Thank you,” He starts walking away from you guys, but not without finishing his sentence that you thought was already finished. “Cutie.” And there, finished.

Fucking finished! Tweedle-dee, tweedle dum! Whoopty-fucking-do! Fan-fucking-tastic! A-fucking-mazing!

And of course you’re blushing for the whole 80,000+ people watching to tease you about.

“Oh my God!” Brooke squeals. “What was that?!”

“I’ll explain later,”

•*•*•*•*•

“Y/N, how could you?” Corpse says, offended.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do.”

“She’s my enemy, Y/N. We were supposed to stick together. I told you some tips and tricks, explained how to be a badass Impostor, everything!” Wow, he’s a good fucking actor.

“I can very well do the same thing, bitch.” Brooke spits, all in a playful manner - you hope...

“Not better than me, bitch.” Corpse retorts, his astronaut getting closer.

•*•*•*•*•

Imposter.

With Corpse.

Great.

Your enemy. Or as he put it, “Enemy who he can maybe, and most likely, will become friends with in the near future.”

“Follow,” He says, and even though he’s your enemy, you do.

“I gotta do my own thing.”

“You don’t know how to do shit.” Corpse scoffs.

“Okay then, what the fuck are we gonna do?”

“Double kills, all the way, but only when we meet up with each other. So, right now, we’ll both go our own ways, but when we see each other again, we’ll walk to a pair and do a double kill if we can.” Corpse explains.

“Brooke told me not to do double kills often. It won’t help get through a game.”

Corpse snorts, “Brooke doesn’t know dog shit about this game.”

“Fine,” You groan, going along with it only because you don’t know dog shit about the game either.

As Corpse explained, you two do double kills every time you meet up. You two managed to get double kills where people rarely go - Shields, Comms, and the top of Cafeteria.

After killing Rae and Sykkuno, the game ends. You made sure to leave Brooke and Dream alive.

“Period, we did that!” You exclaim, everyone else groaning and complaining about how you two should never be an Impostor duo again. “But I still fucking hate you because you hate me!”

“Exactly!” Corpse retorts in the same tone as you.

•*•*•*•*•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist - comment or message me to be added!

* if your username is in bold, please reach out to me; you’re at risk of having your username removed that way i can clear space for other tags. *

@cherry-piee @littlered00 @sunnywinterdays @strang-ersclub @callmemaeve-y @powerpuffyn @kusuinko @where-thesundoesntshine @letglimmersayfuck @coryisagee @a-dot-dev @ifilosemyselfagain @tayloryorkscurls @lex-prplatmngrl @letsloveimagines @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @smiithys @mikayladoesntknow @clubfairy @mirahg @thurstyforholland @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @majasophieanna

——————————————————————————

Tags - ignore::

[thatyanderecritic]

Hey we saw the ask Kai answered about XOBD. As things are, if you do post about the full game we’re gonna have to assume it was stolen and can’t let that pass. It's not cool. If the game has no value to you, please do something else instead. If it was a joke, that’s not great either. It could still make others think it’s okay to pirate the game. If you didn’t mean harm and want to make that known, feel free to message us. If you had talked to us we could’ve tried to get you an actual review copy

@gb-patch

I’m trying to control myself from being a sarcastic piece of shit but honestly, this ask didn’t put me in a good mood. So I’m just going to get my humor out of the way so I can be serious here: “Bold of you to assume that people would pirate your game.”

Firstly, my comment about pirating the game was a joke. 

And no, I’m not going to apologize for it since it was an obvious joke for a question that was barely even seen or linked on our masterlist. It took me 30 minutes to even find the post since tumblr is a god forsaken app. That being said, I know damn well the reason why you’re bringing up this passing comment was because I didn’t give your game a stellar “review” on my first impression piece. I’m pretty sure that it started with one person on your team seeing that post, reading it and getting salty over it, thinking: “This isn’t a fair judgement. It still a demo. That’s just nick-picking.” Ect ect. Maybe send it to someone else you’re close to on the team (who isn’t busy at the time) so you can gripe about it together. Either way, someone jumped down the rabbit hole that is our blog to valid your thoughts going “This blog doesn’t know what they’re talking about. They’re picky.” Whatever. Obviously you checked out if we made any other post about your game first (since that’s the most important thing here) and saw that I answered that question. Still salty from the not so great review, you picked up and over thought about a joke made on a random anon question. “*scoff* They don’t take our game seriously.” > “If they don’t like our game this might be an actual threat.” Not only over thought, this was an easy to “call us out” and take the high moral ground. It’s not that hard to think in the other perspective here. If I made a game and I saw not so stellar review on it, I would most likely do the exact same thing. But unlike you, I would address the review since that’s was the post causing my problem and not go at a different angle to make the reviewer look bad. Though, I have to admit, clever rat tactics to you good sir/miss/mx. I tip my hat to you for trying to put me in an ethical/moral checkmate.

And please, spare me about the pirating issue. With or without the joke, people are going to pirate. If it’s something illegal, pirates sure as hell don’t care about opinion much less a joke about pirating. And let me tell you about pirates… if they were pirating your game, they were never planning to buy the game or even planning the game for that matter. It’s the simple case of “You have to pay for this? No thanks, I rather pass… oh wait, it’s free?! Never mind, I’ll take it even though I was never interested.” And of course the other half of pirates are 13 year olds who don’t have access to their mom’s credit card. More often than not, the people who buy your game are the people who genuinely want to play the game while the pirates could give less of a shit (unless they’re kids with no credit cards). It’s not what most game dev thinks would happen when there’s a pirated version. If a person is gonna pay, they’re gonna pay. If a person won’t pay, they’ll never buy the game unless it’s free. How do I know? I was 13 once, with no mommy’s credit card. Quite frankly, pirating is a pain since downloads aren’t easy to find and you have a higher chance in bricking your laptop than actually playing the game. It’s way easier to just buy and most people do if they want to play a game their interested in. The minute I got my own money, I started paying for my own shit and haven’t pirated since. Really, game devs shoot themselves in their own foot by putting a spotlight on pirating and alerting everyone “Hey, my game has a leak/easy to leak.” What more, just like how people say “don’t feed a troll”: don’t challenge a pirate. A pirate loves nothing more than to see people salty. By making this ask, you’re the one encouraging pirates to pirate your game. Literally going against the point of this ask. Congrats, you played yourself.

Don’t even bother about the review copy of your game. I have my integrity being a critic. It’s one thing if a follower or a fan of our blog offers to buy us a game to review but it’s an entirely different thing when the game developers send a review copy. That’s shady and puts us in a moral dilemma of “we should give a nicer review because they made an exception for us.” YOU are having benefits by sending a copy. It’s free advertising and basically bribing for a nice review. It may work for other critics, but not here. We will only consume the same media as any other consumer to give an even leveled review. Save your words that “if you give us a copy, it’ll be the same as everyone else.” It may be the case but the fact you gave us a review copy will lose our credibility. It’s basically like a company sponsoring a youtuber. If they gave that youtuber free shit, of course they won’t say anything bad about it; meaning it’s not an entirely truthful review. But if we were to give a bad review and be brutally honest, then we look like a bunch of mutts who bites the hands who provide to them. Either way, it’ll be your win and our loss.

I was already planning to buy Blood Droplets to not only review but legitimately enjoy myself but honestly, fuck that now. Going to a store to buy bread just to be called a thief by the cashier right when I’m handing over the money doesn’t encourage anyone to buy your shit. Though I’ll admit, a part of me wants to buy the game so I can spread pictures around of my receipt and say “Does this look like a pirate to you?” You want me to post some pictures around that I also downloaded your free demo from your itch.io page (do you really think I would go to a third party site for a free demo???) for my first impressions post too? But honestly, I’ll look like a clown if I do that 🤡 I don’t know what I’ll do about your game yet. If you see my receipt floating around on tumblr during your full game launch, you’ll see that I made up my mind.

[pumpkinofthedale]

themxerte replied to your post “With the introduction of Moira, and the discussions and scandal a lot...”

Universes. And yeah those are maybe weak spots but I simply don't believe that a company that has the whole game dedicated to the grey moralities of how you see good and evil differently from a different point of view (World of Warcraft) would make such a damn boring, not complexed evil character.

Heya friend, I was wondering if you had actually taken the time to read my entire 1.5k word post detailing how I think Moira fits into the reaper story line.

However if you have read it and still feel that I feel that way about his characterization, allow me to elaborate and include and cite actual evidence. I love Gabriel Reyes and I firmly believe that he will be the epitome of grey morality within the story.

That being said there is nothing, nothing within the story saying that Reyes didnt get some of his powers before the fall of overwatch. In fact given the track it seemed the devs would go down earlier, I’d argue it was canon that he had at least some of them since SEP at the very least. I still think it’s canon that he had some of them before the explosion.

I also never said that he got his smokey wraith powers before the introduction of Moira. I said that I believe something was wrong DNA wise because he was an earlier test subject within the SEP program than Jack, and that his DNA, the fabric of his existence, was deteriorating causing a boatload of problems that no one was willing to risk getting caught up in major legal trouble to fix. I believe his body smoking is part of that. It’s probably something completely out of his control until Moira enters the picture.

 The way the devs worded their unveiling of Moira at blizzcon and her relationship to Gabriel Reyes, they implied that it’s plausible that Reyes didn’t necessarily get his powers from Moira, but instead Moira got her powers from studying Reyes’ DNA and it’s degeneration. A theory heavily backed up by in-game lore:

“Repairing Degenerative Genetic Structures” with a large post-it note that says “Draft”

Not to mention the blizzcon panel

Geoff Goodman: “It [Her Fade ability] has some similarities to Reaper’s wraith form…uh which is…it’s funny how that works out.” Michael Chu: “You know, we obviously - there’s a…there’s a close relationship between Moira and Reyes-slash-Reaper, and I think one of the fun things we were able to do is to sort of hint at some of those things in her, uh, abilities.” Geoff Goodman: “She’s helping Reaper out and is like, ‘You know, I think I could make this better, I have an idea.’”

Blizzcon 2017

On to my other points:

“We sort of saw Overwatch really open up to the world, and listening to players and the stories they were telling and what they imagined the Omnic crisis to be really made us second guess what we were doing in First Strike,” said Kaplan. “We thought, ‘Hey, if we go down this path, it really closes all these doors.’”

Fan theories about the Overwatch cast’s pasts abound, and players produce fiction, art and other original content in droves. Although animated shorts and digital comics have had success in filling out the game’s universe — particularly the most recent comics, “Uprising” and “Reflections” — the Overwatch team found that a 100-page graphic novel no longer made sense as supplemental reading material, six months into the game’s life.

“Part of the magic is that everything is not tied off and explained to players,” Kaplan said of keeping Overwatch’s canon less defined. “There’s a lot going on in Overwatch right now where I think that the story in players’ heads is often even cooler than what we can deliver to them.”

Jeff Kaplan May 2017 during a polygon interview

One very important thing to remember is that early previews of that 100 page graphic novel showed Gabriel Reyes as an ominous figure with heavily shadowed lighting. I believe that fan input especially on how Reyes is characterized, and the theories involving him had a lot to do with the cancellation.

 Yes, Gabriel Reyes manipulated Overwatch into helping innocent lives in Kings Row during the uprising comic. Even as Reaper he’s shown to kill very very few people. Like 2 people on screen max, and neither of those people were innocent. They worked for Vialli one of the top talon “bosses”. 

I’m not saying that Reyes is going to just let innocent people get caught in the crossfires of his plans. Kings Row can’t boil over into a full out omnic uprising because that will absolutely be a catastrophe that could trigger another full-out omnic crisis. He’s shown to be more pro-active in making sure people are safe than Jack is.

And Talon doesnt know about his involvement with the capture of doomfist or Overwatch’s intervention. This is extremely important information to remember. Gabriel Reyes is a man who works in the shadows, and I firmly believe that he has no firm allegiance to anyone, but rather to the ideal of making sure that nothing like the Omnic crisis ever happens again while he still lives/functions.

Every single one of his talon missions that would have brought the world closer to an omnic crisis (Katya’s assassination, retrieving information about the whereabouts of former overwatch agents, stealing doomfist’s gauntlet, killing Jack or Ana) has completely and utterly failed. The man is a tactical genius and so far every mission save picking up doomfist and infiltrating talon and killing vialli’s men, has failed. Against people he’s worked along side before. 

There is absolutely no way he doesn’t know what they’re capable of. The dude outsmarted god ai programs, you really think he wouldn’t have been able to calculate his former friends’ actions and adjust his missions accordingly? Hell, he even knows it was sombra that fucked up the assassination, and he did nothing about it.

Gabriel Reyes is an incredibly intelligent and calculating man. He was probably the president of the chess club in high school, and as every chess player knows, you have to be at least 2-3 steps ahead of your opponent. On any normal type higher level you should know the next ten moves and each possible outcome. Someone on Reyes’ level has hundreds of different moves calculated at any given time.

So now imagine for a moment, that Gabriel Reyes is not some soft goober of a man some people make him but instead a calculating morally grey person who understands exactly what is at stake if talon wins. He’s lived through one crisis, but the world is only just beginning to truly bounce back. It was essentially Armageddon. It cannot happen again.

Talon has infiltrated overwatch.

Talon has infiltrated blackwatch.

Talon has has most likely infiltrated the UN.

Conventional methods of tracking and dealing with spies hasn’t been working. The head of the Overwatch anti-talon task force is dead and his wife is missing. He is doing what he can to help, ie sending mccree to kings row to deal with the uprising situation as well as manipulating overwatch to help. Sending Genji to help apprehend doomfist. Things that talon doesn’t know about because it isn’t strictly blackwatch shit going on. It’s a man on vacation, a commander checking in with his friends and updating them on a situation. It isn’t direct involvement at kings row. It’s manipulation.

But overwatch is strangled in even more red tape and controversies and it’s failing. It cannot properly do its job anymore and Gabriel Reyes is running out of options. Mccree and genji have left; who can he trust but himself.

I believe he did plant the bomb to blow up the zurich base. But I also happened to notice that only Jack was caught in the blast besides him. None of the main overwatch agents were caught in the explosion. He has cool smokey wraith form so he can probably survive, that’s probably one of the ways he was able to survive, though there were obviously some serious complications. I’m sure other overwatch members died in the blast, but he seems to have waited until the base was relatively empty. 

Talon can trust him now. Something went wrong of course he has a vendetta. 

Except, he is ineffectual. His direct actions with winston to secure the names and locations of former overwatch agents in order to fulfill that vendetta prompts winston to recall the old agents. His actions with Hakim and talon reunite Jack and Ana when he has a chance to kill both of them. Overwatch is being reformed except this time, it’s not under the UN’s control. 

Meanwhile reaper, seeming terrorist with a vendetta against overwatch who “inadvertently” cause overwatch to reform a few years after the fall as an independent organization away from the control of the UN and likely away from the clutches of talon’s shadow puppets there.

But he also has their trust which means that innocent people have also likely died by his hand in his quest to infiltrate and take out talon. I also have no doubt in my mind that he probably would kill Jack or Ana or any of his friends if they do actually interfere with his plans just as i do believe that if he felt that it was necessary, he would let innocents die.

“What’s important to us is that their motivations are not purely rooted in being evil, despite how they might seem on the surface.  As we reveal more about these characters, we want people to be able to empathize and understand their beliefs.  Because sometimes what makes a villain a villain is the extent to which they’re willing to go to reach their goals.  And one thing that we find most important when we’re talking about our villain characters is that there is nothing to say that a villain cannot be as charismatic or more charismatic or as likeable as a hero character - because, like the old saying goes, ‘every villain is the hero of their own story.’”

Michael Chu early March 2017

Reyes has a lot of potential to be an almost antihero. Someone who does some shady under the table shit, but only because he thinks it will help the world. I think Blizzard has realized this and why it hasn’t cemented a lot of things in canon. They want to wait and see what it is that fans could seriously enjoy. They love fan feedback. That’s why they created Moira! That’s why they cancelled the 100 page graphic novel about the omnic crisis! Because they want to be able to see their story evolve just as much as the fans do.

anyways. I’m not putting this one under a cut so people don’t have to take the time to click the button to see ALL of what i have to say about the subject (even though I have tons more to say, but I’ve spent so much time on this that I kind of want to be done rn)

[discomfort-food]

Mass Effect Andromeda review/notes/whatever

So I just finished the main quest of MEA, the latest installment in my number one favorite game series of all time. Whew. There’s a lot being flung around the internet about it, and I know this probably will be little more than a drop in an ocean, but whatevs. My thoughts. 

There are spoilers, so don’t read this if you don’t want to be spoiled (duh).

First off, I played it on a PS4, so I can’t comment on performance on other systems. It ran fine, only had one crash/freeze, and that was right after I started playing and it was still installing stuff. There was some frame stuttering in heavy combat zones and in some areas, but I’m not picky about that stuff on consoles, plus it will likely get patched.

Also note, I am a huge BioWare fan, so my review will definitely be biased towards those who have played the Mass Effect and/or Dragon Age series. I have greatly enjoyed all the entries in these series, although I am aware of the many flaws in all of them. Also I’ll let you in on a probably unpopular opinion: my least favorite ME game is 2. Despite having my absolute favorite opening to a game, the rest of the plot just didn’t make much sense within the trilogy. Take that info and do what you want with it. I like 1 for the story, 2 for the character quests (that’s all the game is though) and 3 for the combat.

Okay! Finally to my thoughts on Andromeda. I broke them up into good stuff, bad stuff, and other stuff/random observations.

The Good!

- The scale and sense of exploration! I love space. I love the sense of exploration into the unknown. When I heard they were planning on taking the planet exploration concept from 1 and make it good, I was ecstatic. There aren’t nearly as many planets to explore as in 1, but they’re all interesting worlds with quests and things to explore, not just empty husks (ha). I do wish there were some more worlds that I was actually the first to discover and not have to worry about raiders or abandoned prefabs over the next hill.

- The characters! Characters are BioWare’s bread and butter, and Andromeda is no exception. All of my squad and crew are interesting and believable, and although I have my favorites, there wasn’t one of them that I found myself never wanting to take into combat. I’ll get into my thoughts on each of them later. I see people complaining about how there’s “only” six companions and compare it to 2′s hundred million. Well, sorry, but at least a third of 2′s companions were boring or unnecessary. Ryder’s squad all had excellent chemistry together, and constantly surprised me with their banter dialogue or conversations around the ship. Which brings me to my next point:

- The ship! The Tempest is beautiful, inside and out. There’s lots of nooks and crannies to explore and appreciate. Although it’s not as big as the Normandy SR-2, it doesn’t have any annoying, impossibly long elevators to take between decks. Your crew actually move around the ship and have conversations with each other from other rooms or over the comms. I do love that your quarters are absolutely bonkers compared to the five beds and a couch shared between the rest of your squad.

- Ryder, Ryder, Ryder.Ryder is a solid protagonist. The dialogue mechanic is much more natural than Shepard's paragon/renegade business, and I felt like I could put more of myself into her. Also, you don't have to worry about putting enough points into certain types of dialogue to get access to certain objects. Lexi keeps tabs on your general conversational tone, and other characters will react differently to you depending on how you have talked to them in the past. Plus, Ryder swears a lot more than Shepard, so that's pretty fucking cool.

- The combat! I’ll be honest; I play most video games for the story. I don’t mind combat in most games, but I rarely if ever bump the difficulty up past normal. The combat in Andromeda was quick and responsive. The last game I played was Witcher 3. Fucking amazing game, but I swear Geralt was drunk half the game due to how many times he got stuck in the landscape or stumbled or didn’t move in the way I expected. I’m not going to get much into it, pretty much the only universal positive point most reviews have about the game is its combat, go read one of those.

- Peebee. just. heart eyes. my beautiful blue gf. everything about her. swoon. Her and my smartass Ryder better tear up the galaxy in the sequel or I’ll riot.

- The actual cutscene animations. I’m talking about the full body motion capture shots, not the facial animations, I’ll get to those in a minute. They’re nicely done, and I didn’t really notice anything that stuck out or was reused like a lot of shots in the OT. There weren’t things like awkward hand waving during dialogue or the ol’ BioWare Turn And Walk Out of Frame.

- The armor design/clothing options. I really liked the way most of the armor looked on Ryder, definite improvement over the OT (no boob cups, yay!) Being able to choose the color was pretty neat too. Here’s my soft butch Ryder rocking NASA-levels of orange.

- my bro! I love him. It’s always neat when you have family members in an rpg and you aren’t conveniently an orphan. I freaked out when I got to play as him in that scene near the end! I hope our sibling will be on our ship with us in the sequel.

- post-ending content - you can do most of the stuff after the main quest is over without worrying about being locked out. Plus, your squad actually acknowledges that the main quest is over and don’t give you the silent treatment.

- Remnant design. Love it. It’s got that huge, unfathomable-ness to it. The first vault you unlock on Eos, wow. That’s the sci-fi I like.

The Bad

- The facial animations. Let’s just get this over with. They’re bad. Well, the upper half is bad. The bottom half of the faces are usually passable, and the teeth detail is actually pretty good. But the eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and I just don’t understand why they are so lifeless. It’s not even like BioWare doesn’t know how to make eyes, they were fine in Inquisition. I don’t see why they couldn’t just port over those eye textures/shader? Everyone’s whites are blindingly bright, and their irises don’t reflect any light, making them look unnatural as fuck. The eyes are the first thing humans instinctively look at, and I don’t see why they didn’t prioritize that over other things. 

- The character creation. Yup, another one everyone knows about. So bad. I honestly don’t know what the fuck they were thinking. Inquisition’s CC was solid. Guys, nobody would have complained if you had just copied and pasted it. At least, not as many as there are now. Also, DON’T USE SARA’S DEFAULT FACE. Holy shit. Like, anatomically, her face is fine, but for whatever reason, they baked a small smile into her “resting face,” so she just looks fucking stupid in a serious scene. You all know that one. And what’s the point of having a default face anyhow if all the other faces are facescans anyway? Literally the only good thing I can say about the CC is if you want to play as a non-white Ryder, you actually have realistic-looking options this time.

- The kett. Boring. Cliche. Absolutely predictable. I figured the main grunt soldiers were Angaran pretty early on, their face shape and eyes are the same. I’m down with despicably evil characters, as long as they have some sort of motivation or charisma. Not the kett or the Archon. Just pure “I will eradicate your species because we are better” Typical antagonist who’s unhealthily obsessed with the protagonist to the point of his underlings pointing it out to him. I guess the only ok factor about the kett is their physical design? I hate their technology design though, it looks like something from a 90′s scifi show.

- Attack of the Asari Clones. Whyyyyyy do all of the asari, sans Peebee, have the same face??? It’s infuriating because you would think it’s such a simple thing. They have a fucking human face, they didn’t seem to have a problem making different human faces??? I also take issue with the other species not being different enough, (although this was a problem in the OT too, I guess Saren had a facial deformity for turians). They did brag about being able to have a higher variation in alien species in one of those boring “previews” of the devs sitting at their computers, so what happened??? All the Krogan have three facial models: female, wrex, or wrex with chin spikes (I guess Grunt had a facial deformity too).

- The rest of the romances? I enjoyed Peebee’s romance but from what I read about the rest of them, unfortunately I think she got the “default sex appeal romance” treatment that Liara had in the OT; an unequal amount of scenes/effort into her romance because that’s who straight men will go for.

- dialogue constantly cutting out/ending because of another dialogue line.  Oh sweet, I’m getting some good party bant-HEY PATHFINDER IT’S A LITTLE BIT WARM OUTSIDE ON THIS DESERT PLANET, THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. hopefully this gets patched.

- the inventory. There’s no sorting of anything, just alphabetically. It would be awesome if my crafting materials were in one section and my weapons, armor, mods, etc, were in their own. nope. also there’s no storage locker anywhere so have fun carrying all of that.

The Other

- There are a lot of unsolved/open-ended plot lines. The origin/rest of the Kett, the Remnant/Jardann and the Angara, Ryder’s mom, the Benefactor and Jien Garson’s murder. The Quarian ark mentioned in the epilogue will probably be DLC. I’m hoping this means a sequel is definite, but we’ll have to see how the negative press affects sales.

- I’m kind of neutral on the angara. Jaal is awesome, but the rest of the angara are just kind of boring. I like their whole family dynamic thing, but meh. I also don’t really dig the female designs, I think it’s the eyebrow ridge thing? They’re too different from the males.

- I wish there was more “first contact” stuff. During the marketing of the game, they emphasized how much the Milky Way species were the aliens. It didn’t feel much that way to me. The first meeting between Ryder and the Angara was cool, with them all crowding around to see. It sounded like this was the first time they had known about us? But immediately after Aya suddenly there are angara everywhere and integrating with our society?

- They tried going straight for the Citadel DLC tone without having three full games to back it up. I like joking around and lightheartedness, and I can definitely understand going for a lighter tone than the original trilogy, but I really feel like they saw the positive reception of Citadel, and just tried to force the mood to be the same way. We had the whole trilogy to build up relationships with the crew before we could unwind in Citadel, and they missed that. It’s like eating dessert first.

- Whyyy did they ruin Allegra Clarke’s awesome voice on Kesh? 

- Gay turians are pretty cool

- Why did I have to specify Shepard’s gender? All the Shepard references I found (do the SAM memories questline) didn’t mention Shepard’s gender. Unless I missed something?

- Can I wear my under-armor(?) around non-combat zones outside the Tempest?

Seriously, nobody would walk around Kadara in a hoodie and sweats or a fashionable scarf. As far as I know I only get to wear this during the final mission.

The Squad (most to least favorite)

Peebee. My love. Write off anyone who says she’s just Sera from Inquisition. I don’t think they played either game. And her dad’s an Elcor??? I need to know more. I liked how they didn’t even try to make her a Liara clone.

Vetra Oh my god. First time in a Bioware game I actually had trouble deciding who to romance. She’s just so… competent. I will climb that tree next playthrough for sure. She’s the team’s Cool Mom.

Jaal I honestly thought he would be way different. Angsty like Thane or arrogant like Javik, but nah, he was such a bro. His voice and dry humor quickly took him off my shit list. I guess he gets together with Peebee if you don’t romance either of them, and I’m ok with that.

Kallo pure cinnamon roll, too good, too pure.

Lexi even though she broke my Ryder’s heart, I still love her. Mostly because I love Natalie Dormer. I hope she comes back if there’s a sequel.

Suvi Her banter with Kallo was good. And the first time you can flirt with her as Sara was absolute gold. As soon as she brought up religion though, I peaced out.

Drack Guys, he’s old. And he’s a krogan. Did we mention that he’s really old? He’s funny, because he’s a krogan. Krogan just like to shoot stuff. Drack does too, but he’s old so he’s really good at it. I didn’t not like Drack, and he honestly has some of the funniest dialogue, but he’s basically Wrex if people constantly mentioned how old he was. Also I guess I was supposed to know he has a bunch of prosthetics? He’s literally cocooned in armor 24/7 so that plot point didn’t have as much impact as I think they were going for. I hope if they ever make another Krogan squadmate in the future they’ll try to make a new character.

Cora oh my god girl shut up about the Asari. She’s the team’s Awkward Mom. Basically Cassandra. Totally reads Fifty Shades of Grey.

Liam His loyalty mission was actually one of my favorites, but I just didn’t like his character. For a crisis specialist, he wasn’t very good in a crisis. Probably my favorite Generic Starter Male Human squadmate though.

Gil I’m sorry that he’s the only option gay male players get.

The End

Shit, that went on way longer than I’d intended. In conclusion, I would rate Andromeda a 7.5 out of 10. It needed a lot more polish before release, and I don’t understand the reasoning behind giving your most popular franchise to a team that has yet to make a full game. Still, it’s got good bones, and it was a nice clean break from the baggage of the OT. Hopefully they release some good patches and quality DLC, then I could see me bumping my score up to an 8. I hope the game will be looked back on like DA2 is now, people have realized it’s a decent game despite it’s serious flaws.