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uno-san · 3 months ago

Note

Can i request a continuation of your first fic? Stan eventually admitting the Mr. Mystery who sent the flowers wasn’t a secret admirer but infact Mr. Mystery himself?

First of all, I am so honored to have a request for a continuation! Truly one of the highest compliments. And reading back on comments before, I should have made a second part long ago! I had so much fun writing this and thanks to all who have read my work. Part 1 can be found here. There's a small recap written in this part though so reading it isn't required :) Enjoy! Mr. Pines, Part 2 (Stanley Pines x Reader)

Nearing the end of summer was always a melancholic event. In which the busiest season of the year would descend back down to hell and allow the workload to dwindle off to a manageable amount at the Mystery Shack yet leave you with a sense of grief at another amazing summer gone. It wasn’t like that before.

Ever since becoming a full-fledged adult with a life and responsibilities, the seasons and months had a way of blending together as one week after the next you were simply looking forward to the next paycheck. It was torture. Arguably not a way of living at all.

Keyword being before.

Sure, you could do without the new occupational hazard of being killed by a mecha-suit made out of feral gnomes, mind-wiping cultists, and God knows what else. Yet despite all the life-threatening danger, you’ve never been more alive! Everyday holds the potential for a new adventure and memories to make with the friends that you never thought you had.

That was the sadness about summer ending, however. Soos would remain at the shack but your other dependable co-worker, Wendy, would be off focusing on school. The same for Dipper and Mabel, who would leave Gravity Falls and Mr. Pines- Ah.

Stanley.

You were in the middle of sweeping the trampled wood floors of the Mystery Shack when the name made you stop in your tracks. It always did. Worse yet, it’d have you chew the inside of your cheek to stop them from heating up. It made you feel juvenile. Quickly your eyes swept across the shop and back as if you chanted his name three times. When there was no puff of smoke you let out a sigh of relief.

It was the start of summer where your more challenging trails began. That being Stanley Pines, the older man who was the owner of the Mystery Shack and your boss, who had given you permission to call him by his first name. Having done so, naturally, on a day where a secret admirer, or, ‘Mr. Mystery’ (Whom Stanley says he’ll sue for stealing his title) sent you a beautiful arrangement of flowers. God, you can still remember what a pain it was to lug the large vase back home. It was a wonder how Wendy was able to do it all herself without having a car to help.

To add to the confusion already surrounding that day when Stan hadn’t confessed to being the culprit, you were disappointed. Your shoulders slumped when Wendy had reasoned it had to be someone else. Instead of wanting to know who this secret admirer was you were instead interested in knowing when in the hell you developed a crush on the graying con man that was your boss. Not that there were tons of eligible bachelors in Gravity Falls but then they’d be in your age range! Or ones with no criminal record, strong arms, jokes, a handsome face that could draw you in at any moment to share a sweet kiss with-

Fingers snap in front of your face. The sharp sound caused you to jump in response and fumble with the broom to prevent it from falling.

“Hey, kid!”

Stanley’s hoarse voice rang out from beside you; your shoulders tensed while your newfound grip on the broom handle could have splintered it. He must have noticed the panic in your face as he quickly raised his hands as if to show he wasn’t armed.

“Oh, Mr. Stans, I-”

“Huh? I…don’t know if, what-” The perplexed expression he made killed you in a thousand ways before his head shook out the unnecessary thoughts, “NEVERMIND ALL THAT. Forget it. I just wanted to ask ya to get started on restocking the bumper sticker display, alright? Last time to peddle the stuff out while we have the most out-of-town folk. Can ya do that?”

You nod, “Of course! I’ll get started on it straight away, S-Stan.”

The smile you offered didn’t appear to reassure him any as he lingered a moment. His hands were firmly planted on his hips while he actually leaned down to inspect you. Drawing close enough into your space that you had to nearly arch your spine not to bump into the man. Under his gaze all you could do was swallow the thick lump of nervousness that always choked you when Stanley was near.

Suddenly he blinked. As if Stan had just realized how the distance between your two had closed without his notice. Awkwardly Stanley stepped back and coughed into his hand. Your overactive imagination could have sworn his cheeks were tinged pink, “Just, ah…checking to see ya didn’t have a heat stroke or nothing. You don’t, so, start drinking water before you start freaking out the tourists. Got it, kid?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead stomping off to wrangle some poor soul into buying poorly-produced and expensive merchandise. You watched him from where you stood still, now overcome with a flurry of emotions from that blundered interaction. If a Gnome Mech wasn’t going to kill you then Stanley Pines sure as hell was.

With a shake of your head you did your best to gain control of yourself once more while the day threatened to drag on. On the way to the storage room you passed by Wendy. Who, as always, was laid back. She nodded towards you. You returned it without reveling in the silent approval of a teenager before you disappeared in the backroom to grab the needed box. Luckily it was light and allowed you to grab another heftier box full of other items that were in need of refilling and maintenance. It didn’t hurt to put a bit more effort into your job, after all.

Returning to the main room in front of the counter you could finally begin your work. It was almost therapeutic. Nobody bothering you. No immediate death threats or wild twins to wrangle in. Just you and a box of bumper stickers being neatly tucked away into different stacks.

You would have started humming to yourself if something hadn’t felt…off.

Something behind you had begun to radiate heat. Breathing down your neck and causing a nervous drop of sweat to run down your forehead. Slowly you began to turn around until a hot breath suddenly blew across your face, your eyes meeting with another pair with barely a head turn.

“OH, JESUS!”

The shock of it had you bring your arm back to slap the stack of bumper stickers across the cheek of someone not all too unfamiliar. Who you now recognized as Thompson yelped at the contact and went to quickly shield his face with a previously unnoticed bouquet of roses, “Dude, duuuuuuude, stop!” He cried out while his eyes were skewered shut with pain, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“I- What-” You dropped the merchandise in your hand as if they alone had somehow enticed you to assault a poor teenager, “No, I mean…Shit. I’m sorry, I guess?” In the midst of your guilt it was hard to pin the blame on anyone, “What in the actual hell were you doing-”

“What in the actual hell- HECK is going on over here?” Stanley’s voice cut through the confusion. His heavy footsteps nearly rattled the walls of the Mystery Shack as he came to inspect the commotion. Stanley’s eyes fell onto the scattered merchandise that caused his frown to be deeper set, eyebrows furrowed in a conflicting mix of emotions.

“Alright, there better be a good explanation for all this racket. You’re distracting the customers- WHAT IS THAT?” His eyes grew impossibly wide as he gestured wildly to the bouquet.

You opened your mouth to reply before the bell attached to the front door rang to grab your attention. Stepping through was Lee, the taller blonde teen that you’ve seen attached to Wendy’s friend group, miraculously holding a bundle of roses in hand.

“He’s lying to you!” Lee shouted and clutched at his heart in either a romantic gesture or a heart attack, “I’m the one who bought it for you, not HE!”

“Lee,” Thompson began to what you could only describe as stage-whisper in his friend’s direction, “I didn’t get to my part yet, I got frickin hit!” His hand moved to reveal the slightly pink mark on his cheek.

Lee lost his composure, “Aw, really? Bro, that’s fucking hilarious. But like…c’mon, bro, you gotta do your part before Nate gets here.”

“Wait, Nate?” Your confusion deepened as they ignored you in favor of having a whispered back and forth, with Lee pushing Thompson forward who nearly collided into you with the shove. The look you gave him was of someone afraid of a bomb about to go off.

Thompson wiped the sweat off his brow before offering his flowers with the same hand, “I like, fricken LIKE you, dude! Just love your whole deal,” He confessed with cheeks as hot as the son while he practically had to spit the words out. His heavy breathing began to pick up. Opening his palm you noticed that there was smudged ink on it that he was now trying to read, “T-That’s why I bought you the flowers-”

“WHAAAAAAAT???” Stanley suddenly roared to life while his hands tightened into fists. In a tantrum similar to a child he marched up, glowing down at poor Thompson who’d gone stark white.

“He’s lying to you! I’m the one who bought it for you, not HE!” Lee repeated. Stepping forward he cast a concerned glance towards the statue that was once his friend to present his own bundle of flowers to you.

The pollen made you want to sneeze. Impressively Lee managed to ignore Stanley to continue addressing you, “It’s true, I’m Mr. Mystery. And it’s even truer that I’m into older, uh…” He looked you up and down, “Into older individuals.”

Your brows drew closer together in concern, “How old do you think I am?”

Lee bit his lip and raised his brows in what he must have thought was a seductive look, “Old enough, bro.”

Thankfully you didn’t have to respond to that as Stanley’s hand shot forward to grab at Lee’s flowers, tossing them to the ground as if he was spiking a football and causing petals to fly everywhere. Lee stared at his hand in shock before having his attention drawn to Stanley who had the both of them in his sights and looking ready to strike.

“I’m not going to take any kinda lying in my house! Neither you or dweebus here bought ‘em any flowers. You two dorks don’t have the kind of cash for that sorta gesture anyway!”

“Uh, we totally could,” Lee said in an offended tone, “Flowers are like, 8 bucks at the grocery store.”

“The ones delivered weren’t from no grocery store, it was a specialized boutique!” “How’d you know that? Huh?”

“Gardening. Is. My. HOBBY.” Stanley passionately replied through gritted teeth.

“No, it’s not.” Wendy answered, bored.

This was starting to give you a headache in more ways than one. Especially in the sense that the few customers in the shop were beginning to stare you down, no doubt finding this whole spectacle the biggest mystery of the day. It made you want to shrink away and disappear into nothing! Sure, you were just lamenting the end to an exciting summer but this wasn’t the type of bang you wanted it to go out on!

Turning towards Wendy you had prayed she would be of help to wrangle in her friends while Stanley and Lee argued in the background. To your disappointment Wendy was hardly paying attention. To both you and her actual job while she busily texted on her phone. You waved your hand out in front of her.

“Please, a little help?” You were nearly begging, “Think maybe all your friends hit their heads at the same time or something. I don’t even know how they knew about the whole flower thing- WHAT, THOMPSON?”

The nervous teen had managed to shuffle past his friend and your boss. Apparently he had given up reading his hand to instead have his phone pulled out. His eyes would flicker between you and the screen before he tried shoving his remaining flowers back into your face again as opposed to your conveniently open hands.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May-”

“NO. No. No, no, no, noooo!” Like a sheep being surrounded by wolves you staggered back. Your growing panic is now drawing the attention of Stan and Lee who managed to stop arguing long enough to see you turn tail and run, “I’m going home until whatever this is blows over!”

What you expected to be an awkward exit quickly turned to a horror show as Lee and Thompson actually pursued you.

“W-Wait! We didn’t get to the part about how there’s soooo many other bachelors after you!” One of them yelled.

“Yeah, and that waiting too long to snatch you up will result in losing your love fooooreeevveeer,” The other, for whatever reason, said this more towards Stan. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” You shouted off behind you while carefully dodging between both aisles and customers alike.

Seeing as you had two stalkers on your tale Stanley raised a fist, “Hey! No harassing my, uh- favorite employee! Wendy, get my crossbow!”

“No.”

If they started arguing or not after that was none of your concern as you were apparently in a struggle for your life. If your heart wasn’t going to give out on you yet then the embarrassment would definitely get you by the time you get home. God, this was all starting to feel like a fever dream. Or maybe you DID die this summer and now you were in some sick limbo?

Whatever this was, it was clearly because of one thing. The incident with the flowers you received a couple months back, to be exact. After that day there had been no further gifts. How was it connected? Especially to Wendy’s friends of all people who you had the pleasure of not interacting with much at all this summer.

Perhaps they had been the ones to send the flowers in the first place? Attempting to draw you in further with a date to pull a prank on you. Trying to film your reaction for a video that they’d laugh about for ages to come and torment you with.

But no. That couldn’t be it.

Humiliation was certainly what they were achieving right now but if that had been the goal they would have pushed for it when the flowers had first been delivered. Give you a way to contact this ‘Mr. Mystery’. But they hadn’t. So what was the point of now?

You supposed this could haunt you later instead seeing as you had two hot pursuers on your tail. Both Lee and Thompson were still flinging compliments your way while Stanley struggled to catch up between having to clean up any spills along the way as well. Whenever you were able to catch a glance of him you’d shoot an apologetic look that he’d wave off.

It was another minute of dodging the two before you were able to loop your way back around to the front of the Mystery Shack, towards the parking lot and where your car was. To safety. A part of you was even willing to mow down a rowdy teen if you had too! But fate had other plans. The door swung open and you skidded to a halt; nearly crashing into the poor unsuspecting soul who-

It was Nate.

He saw you and grinned, slowly raising a damn bouquet of roses, “Heeeeey, just who I wanted to see! Wanna take a guess at who your secret admirer is? Hint, it’s me!”

Oh, come the fuck on.

Nate must have noticed a deranged look in your eye seeing as he took an awkward step back he clearly hadn’t planned on. From behind you could hear the heavy thudding of feet as Lee and Thompson had finally caught up. Great. You looked both ways. They had an expectant expression on their faces that you couldn’t make sense of.

“Alright, alright, break it up you hormonal goblins. Get BACK, I say!”

Stanley’s voice was like the calm in the storm. It gave you something to focus and center yourself on. You hadn’t even noticed him stepping closer to you before it was too late. Two strong hands clamped around the delicate curve of your waist while thick fingers tickled into your skin. The grasp had a shiver run up your spine. Then what started as a tender embrace quickly became a vice when you were lifted off of your feet.

You actually squeaked. In a display of strength you thought only adrenaline could achieve Stanley had hoisted you above his head and out of reach from your ‘admirers’. Like the tallest kid playing ‘keep away’ in the schoolyard. From below you could see the three teen’s jaws drop at the display while a nearby customer asked if this was part of the tour.

Stan must have heard it since a blush came to his cheeks a moment after yet he refused to release you, “We’ll, uh…just go for now. Break time and whatnot…WENDY, MAN THE STORE!” He shouted while beginning to push his way back towards the employee area of the shack. It wasn't until he was passing staring customers he coughed out a reluctant, “Stop watching and we’ll have a ‘buy two, get one full price’ sale.”

That disappeared the crowd quickly who were now buzzing with excitement at the prospect of a deal. Stanley began to walk you back. With no eyes on the two of you, Stan cautiously began to lower you down. Not to your feet, however. Instead you were brought back into his chest where you had more cushion to lay against. Despite the summer heat his body warmth only drew you in. Not to even get started on how hot your face already was from blushing for the last few minutes!

Stanley meanwhile had his eyes glued to the path ahead. Afraid that taking one glance in your direction would make him regret coming to your rescue at all and depriving himself the chance of seeing you blush longer. Though it was certainly a motivator to have a couple of guys flinging compliments your way so freely as well. God. Wasn’t he too old to be getting into a pissing contest with teens at this point?

Too old in general. Both with having a silly school crush on his employee and also trying to lug you around as if he was twenty years younger. Stan made it look easy but his back pain would be coming back with a vengeance tomorrow!

With your hand resting against his chest though it was hard to deny it was worth it.

Having led you towards the back office Stanley stepped in and used his back foot to kick the door shut behind you two, blocking the light from the shop to leave you in near darkness if it wasn’t for the rare ray of light peering from behind the closed blinds. Without the stark lighting the office was almost calming in contrast. That, or you loved hearing Stanley’s steady breathing more than you realized or the soft beating of his heart if you concentrated on your hand long enough.

Stan moved for the desk. It was crowded with various papers and trinkets he’d keep around to distract himself. At first you had thought he had been in search of something in particular until his hands shifted, with one suddenly slipping just under your butt to keep you hoisted up while the now free one began to clear a space for you.

Your entire posture stiffened once consumed with the realization that your boss was, to put it crudely, grabbing your ass. In spite of how rough they looked, his hands were tender. Mindful. Which judging from his expression you doubted he noticed where he placed his hand at all while tidying up his desk. You were grateful for the distraction. That way he couldn’t see the conflict in your eyes on whether you liked the contact or not after the day you had.

“Here we go…” His rumbling voice brought you back from the brink of a new meltdown as he settled you down onto the hard surface of the desk with your legs dangling over the edge. Yet his hands didn’t leave. Instead they attached back to around your waist with a feather light touch, as if the first hint of disapproval at the contact would knock them back. You showed no such sign, so they stayed.

“You, ah…all good, then?” Stanley seemed to have trouble meeting your eye, “From the dorks. I mean, they hang around Wendy all the time and get into shit, yeah, but they’re not dangerous or nothing. But if they had hurt ya-”

“I’m fine, Stanley,” You said with a soft and assuring tone, “Traumatized, maybe, but…Thank you for saving me.”

He nearly buckled at the ice-melting smile you gave him. For just a moment his fingers tapped against your skin as if they had been tempted to clasp around you tighter. They didn’t. Instead Stanley appeared to realize how close the two of you had gotten and shuffled out of the way, taking his body heat with him as he turned his back towards you to instead fixate his attention elsewhere in the room. Anywhere but you.

Stanley nodded after what seemed an eternity, “No problem. Besides, it’d be bad for the brand to have so many ‘Mr. Mystery’ running around! It’s protected IP!”

At that you found yourself chuckling, “Is this your way of saying you’re tired of hearing about the flowers?” Not that you’d blame him considering what a hot topic it was when it had first happened.

First, Mabel couldn't ignore any degree of romantic gesture without her wanting to be involved with it. Second, this was a small town with nothing to do on the good days. Toby Determined even tried to get an interview (How word got out was beyond you) and Stanley again had to come to your rescue by chasing him off with a broom. With today’s incident you began to worry that this would be a monthly chore for Stanley.

At the suggestion of Stanley getting irritated about anything involving you nearly made him jump to correct that assumption, “NO, I could listen to it aaaall day! Just not going to just stand around and let a couple of liars waltz in to take credit for it.” He said, “I mean, c’mon, they really think those flowers were from the grocery store? Please, I- whoever has way more class than that!”

You giggled at that, which was nice considering how embarrassed you were earlier. But Stan always did put you at ease with all the jokes or lax attitude he’d have to offer no matter the situation. What others found frustrating you found endearing.

“For all the class that he has, you’d think he’d have come forward by now, don’t you think?”

He gave you a look, “What do you mean?”

“Just that it’s been all summer since it’s happened. Not a word since,” You shrug and take your turn to stare somewhere else, “Sorry. I don’t mean to sound demanding or anything. But you gotta admit it’s rude to leave someone on edge like that, you know? Just makes me think they lost interest or something.”

Stanley didn’t reply. After seemingly going out of his way to avoid looking at you, you were all he could stare at now. His lips were drawn in a tight frown that settled unnaturally on his face. You were so used to his smiles. Now your boss had an odd expression of contemplation. The way his darkened eyes bore into you made you squirm where you sat, anxiously squeezing your legs together to try and keep your blush at bay.

It was an achievement that you were able to hold a normal conversation with him at all. After the shocking realization that you were disappointed that Stanley never took credit for the original gift, your time at the Mystery Shack had gotten far more difficult outside of the daily threat to your life. Especially when Mabel was like a bloodhound when it came to romance. And when there wasn’t any to be found you could be damn sure that she’d create your own, one way or the other. She was a menace.

“Kid, listen, I-”

“I guess I should-”

Your words quickly amalgamated until the two of you stopped to give the other an apologetic glance. Then silence again. Each prompting the other to continue their dialogue with a vague hand gesture. Both of your hesitancy grew with conflicted gazes.

“I-”

“I-” Stanley slapped his hand over his face to muffle his groan, “Oh, goddammit.”

You flinched at the frustration in his words, “Sorry, sorry! I was just trying to say I should go back to work if they’re all gone.”

Preparing to hop off of the desk you were instead met with Stanley’s large hands suddenly pinning yours to the desk before you could push off. His fingers nearly interlaced with yours. They were trembling. He was towering over you again to the point you had to arch your back to make room for him. Seeing this he released one of your hands to instead place his on the small of your back, supporting your posture.

Stanley’s face was now inches from yours. What little light that came into the room reflected off of his glasses and obscured his eyes. Could he have been taking in your flushed face and wide eyes? Or perhaps he was taking notice of your parted lips. You hoped it was that.

“I…I wasn’t swearing at ya. Just frustrated that I’m not being as smooth as I wanna be,” Stanley spoke in a tone far softer than you’ve ever experienced. With his voice rumbling in his chest it was like a soothing purr. He then swallowed what must have been a lump in his throat, “Listen, it was…It was me who-”

You captured him in a kiss. It was neither passionate or loving, but something new. It was potential. In this instance it was the best kiss you’ve ever had with chapped lips. Intended to be a quick peck you could still feel Stanley’s hands grasp you tighter as his entire posture grew stiff.

A second passes and you pull back, “I’m sorry, I should have let you finish,” You laughed, both at your overexcitement and his stunned expression, “I’ve been waiting to hear you say it. Keep going, please.”

Stanley didn’t respond right away as he instead simply stared at you. It was blatantly obvious when the reality of the situation began to hit him as his signature grin stretched across his face. How could an old man be so cute?

“So, uh-” He cleared his throat, “Guess I was saying that I’m the Mr. Mystery. Both at work and as your secret admirer, though I guess not that secret if you knew…Anyways I really like ya! You’ve got spunk, looks, smarts. I mean, how was I not supposed to send any sorta flowers- You get the point!”

This time he drew you in for a kiss. His was more brash and needy as if you’d change your mind at the last second. Using his grip on you he brought you closer until your bodies were pressed against each other and he slotted between your legs to fit. So intimately close yet born from the innocent need of wanting to be near you. This kiss lasted as long as you had air in your lungs.

The both of you parted from the kiss with a dopey smile.

“I didn’t necessarily know, by the way…” You mention after catching your breath, “Just realized how much I wanted it to be you after Wendy suggested it had been sent by someone else.”

Stan hummed in amusement while his hand began to rub up and down the curve of your back, “That so? Guess all that was just your way of getting to confess, eh? Gotta admit, that’s unexpected. But sneaky. I like it!”

“What?” You tilted your head in question, “You mean what happened with all of her friends? I was just starting to think that was you.”

He shook his head. The sweet mood was paused as the both of you had a confused look while playing the strange events over in your head. Stanley snapped you out of it by giving you a squeeze; with it a reminder of your new flourishing relationship with your boss Stanley Pines. You looked back up to see his grin return and a new twinkle in his eye.

“Ehh, we can figure that out some other time, toots,” He said with a wave of his hand to push the thoughts away, “Besides, we probably have a few minutes to uh, make up for lost time, if you get what I mean.” Stanley wiggled his eyebrows at you and made you giggle.

“Depends. Does this count as my break, Stanley?”

“It absolutely does.”

“What? C’mooooon, man.”

__ Outside of the Mystery Shack, hidden amongst the trees and brush, was the sharp glare of the sun reflecting off of glass. Binoculars, to be exact. Behind them being a young girl who wore a thick sweater in spite of the heat. She was biting down on her tongue in concentration as she scanned the building from one window to the next. Where could they be?

From beside her the bushes began to rustle. The noise attracted her attention and she turned in time to capture the magnified image of Wendy’s growing teen pimples as she stepped out from the woods. Mabel chose not to comment on this.

“Status report!” Mabel said in a tone far too commanding for a young girl like her to have. Regardless of this Wendy saluted.

“Mission happened, I guess,” Wendy gave a half-assed thumbs up, “The boys kind of went crazy in there so we didn’t get the romantic confession you dreamed of exactly. But they’re alone, at least?”

“Why, they went crazy under my order, lieutenant! Their goal was to be crazy in love,” She emphasized her words with a dramatic close of her first brought close to her chest, “And nooooow I’m trying to see the romantic confession but they have the blinds closed! Could you imagine trying to hide your love?! It’s inconvenient!!”

As if paranoid something would happen without her watchful eye Mabel returned to her vigilant duty of watching a closed window. Wendy meanwhile had her gaze darted away a moment as if struggling to find what to say. Eventually she rubbed the back of her neck and coughed to get her young friend’s attention,

“You know, it’s…probably a good thing the window is closed if your plan did work, Mabel. I don’t think you’d want to see what you think you’d be seeing.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re prooobably swapping spit right now, Mabel.”

Instantly the binoculars clattered against the hard ground as Mabel nearly convulsed, “Eew, ew, EW! And that’s too much of a picture for Mabel!” Quickly she climbed out of her hiding spot in the bushes to begin following Wendy who was laughing, “I gotta go wash out my mind’s eye now!” "That's probably for the best. Let's just trust them to move that last step themselves, alright, cupid?"

Both girls were laughing now as they returned to the Mystery Shack while patting each other on the back for a job well-done.

#Gravity Falls #Stanley Pines #Gravity Falls fanfic #Gravity Falls x Reader #Stanley Pines x Reader #Reader Insert #hunkle stan #requests #my story #gf stanley pines #mabel pines #wendy corduroy

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lueurjun · 1 year ago

Text

“ let’s just get married ” | heeseung and jay.

the boys reaction to you suddenly professing that you would in fact, like to get married.

. . . . . . . ꒰ HEESEUNG ꒱ ,,

give him a sec

he’s rebooting

his mind went through an unplanned update

because clearly there’s something wrong with it since he swears he just heard you tell him you wanna get married

“hUh?”

you don’t seem to catch onto his confusion in the slightest

because you’re just sat cheesin

you after breaking your boyf 😃

“like… in a couple of years?”

you shake your head, still grinning as though you just won the lottery

heeseung gulps so loud you can hear it from half way across the world

it’s true. i heard it from here.

to be honest—bros petrified

not that he doesn’t want to marry you

he has visions of it

breaking news! lee heeseung is really that’s so raven confirmed!

but now it’s perhaps a little too early for him

still the look on your face had his heart shitting itself

because you look so excited

and telling you to wait would probably break your heart

which lee heeseung would never do

cos then he’d have to go through me. and i have watched kung fu panda. i know my shit.

so he wraps his arms around your waist and draws you in until your foreheads are touching.

cant see his panicked expression if he connects foreheads

and with a thudding heart, he manages to choke out a reply

“then let’s get married.”

imagine i wrote ‘then marry someone else’. oof the drama would be out of this world

now it’s your turn to be panicked

because the reality of it all comes crashing down on you like a thundering avalanche

and suddenly you’re pushing him away

“i don’t want to.”

hA NOT YOU REJECTING HIM AFTER SENDING HIM THROUGH EMOTIONAL TURMOIL

heeseung just blinks at you

because weren’t you the one who proposed this idea?

what do you mean ‘you don’t want to?’

now he’s hurt

because why don’t you want to marry him?

“is it something i said?”

he’s frowning now, resembling a puppy that just got kicked

“no! no! it was just in the moment-you know? you just looked perfect and i felt perfect with you and i got carried away. that doesn’t mean i don’t want to marry you in the future! i think we should just wait.”

heeseung breathes a sigh of relief and pulls you back into his arms

“i’m so glad you think so because i am not ready for marriage yet—but with that being said, i will stick the biggest diamond on your finger when i am.”

compensation for making you wait—heeseung is in fact a sugar daddy 💸

he holds you tighter, and your gaze shifts to his ring finger, a fleeting moment of daydreaming how handsome he'd look with a wedding ring on

your mind is suddenly alive with visions of what married life with heeseung would be like, a flurry of images quickly cascading through your imagination

and suddenly, a familiar feeling tugs in your heart

cheekily, you grin up at him

“i’ve changed my mind. i wanna get married again.”

lord help him

. . . . . . . ꒰ JAY ꒱ ,,

did somebody say something?

no really…did they? he had earphones in and heard absolutely none of what you said

me every minute of everyday

he’s bobbing his head to his music without a care in the world

thriving in — unmarried — life, unburdened by any adult responsibilities or worries

he’s truly blissful

until you yank those earphones out of his ears and peer down at him with a scornful gaze

you could’ve sworn he had paused his music when you entered the room

“hey baby.”

i have been watching a lot of drew starkey edits and his ‘hey baby’ is imprinted in my mind so it must be applied to jay. i do not make the rules.

his face is lit up with an endearing smile, his eyes full of affection as he looks lovingly at you

which makes you smile and gaze back at him with the same expression

“i said, would you marry me?”

naturally, jay assumes that you’re just thinking about the future

which is totally natural in a relationship

so he doesn’t think anything of it when he shrugs his shoulders

“i’d marry you tomorrow.”

same. i’d marry you better than him tbh

now jay loves you

his love for you is as constant and timeless as the sun's relationship with the sky

but he wasn’t being literal. marriage is a huge step and as much as he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you

he felt he was still too young

you didn’t seem to realize that it was just an expression because you started beaming

and jay, not realizing you had taken this literally and assumed you just liked the idea of marrying him in the future, beamed back at you

��great! we should look into venues—no! why don’t we fly to vegas? how does one elope? jay! we should look into eloping.”

at first, he's simply enthralled by the sound of your voice

but then the words register and suddenly he’s hyperventilating

he’s so real for that

“wha- el-eloping? like-in the future…possibly in like five years? maybe seven—”

“no? now! you said you wanted to get married tomorrow and i’ve been thinking that maybe we should? i mean, i don’t want anyone else and imagine married life jay! it would be perfect!"

married life with you would be perfect

jay would love nothing more than to wake up beside you every morning, a wedding band adorning your finger and sharing the same last name

he’d love to introduce you as his spouse, the idea of it alone gives him butterflies

but marriage is a huge commitment

“i mean it would but right now?”

hearing the panic in exchange for excitement, the bubble surrounding you pops

and suddenly, you’re no longer the embodiment of happiness

but disappointment

forget ksi and tommy fury, im gonna be in the ring with jay if he doesn’t marry the life out of you

his heart shatters at the look on your face and that alone has him reconsidering

he plans to marry you in the future, might as well keep that gorgeous smile on your face and push the date forward

“you don’t wanna marry me?”

he reaches out to you, taking your hands in his and guiding you to sit next to him. the closeness is almost overwhelming, and you can feel the warmth of his body as he pulls you onto his lap

bro i’m blushin rn!! look away. i don’t want you to see me like this

jay wastes no time showering your face with passionate kisses, eliciting an gradually forming smile from you

“no. no-i do wanna marry you, more than anything! but it’s just a little early, we can wait a few more years. time with you flies anyway so it won’t even be that long of a wait technically, we’re just… a bit too young yet.”

he’s right, and you hate admitting it

nah don’t fold bae. get that ring 💍

slumping your shoulders, you nod your head with a sigh

“i guess you’re right. i got a little too carried away. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you…”

jay shakes his head, planting a kiss on both of your cheeks, then your nose and then finally, your lips, though he lets that one linger

that alone manages to lift your mood drastically

“how about, we settle for a promise ring?”

your heart swells with emotion at the sweet sentiment and you find yourself unable to resist leaning in and gently pressing your lips to his once more

after a moment — or several — he finally pulls away and laughs

“i take it you like that idea?”

“i do”

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lilacxquartz · 6 months ago

Text

Don't Make Me Feel Alive I Chapter 5

kenjaku x f!reader

chapter summary: after a night alone, he lets you out again with a new agenda in mind. Something you didn’t like at all.

warnings; unaware reader/noncon

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

5. Contract

Upon returning to you the next day after having spent a good chunk of it thinking about the best course of action, he returned to you and activated the pendant at his own will, restoring your ability to properly utilise its function and in turn, feeling closer like yourself once again.

The sensation surely felt odd though—as if you were a machine, slowly rebooting after being turned off.

You remembered his description from before, finding it oddly fitting.

Kenjaku otherwise ultimately ended up deciding on committing to the binding vow overnight, after all, despite his consideration for alternative options, because technically speaking, he had absolutely zero use for someone who refused to help him and if it wouldn’t have been a waste of time and resources, he could have just disposed of you overnight, regardless of your potential.

So rather than doing that, he instead decided to resolve his plans a different way instead and have the death painting fight in your place instead. He could simply just entrust Mahito’s alliance to oversee the plan otherwise and keep you behind as a trump card if need be.

After all, a lightning user that he had under his control could prove powerful and unpredictable to his opponents, especially given your potential capabilities. For one, it could help escape tense situations or to sacrifice you in case he faced something or someone that collided with his plans.

Or… should he scrap the sacrifice idea? His mind churned just a little at the thought, even if it was a joke in his mind.

The point still stood though, he needed to get you on board for something else. Something more serious, something potentially life changing—but only while you were still in such a malleable state.

You were vulnerable enough for anything.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, drawing closer as his fingers tweezed your chin, forcing you to meet his stare, “don’t look at me like that.”

You were giving him a certain type of look today and he didn’t like it, even if he could understand why you were being so guarded.

You relented his touch, forcing your sights downwards, “how else should I look at you?”

“Look, I went about it wrong, I do admit,” he replied, lifting your chin back up, “however, what if I offer something that could benefit both of us?”

“Then I wouldn’t buy it,” you replied, failing to move away, “not if it’s coming from you.”

“Ah, don’t be like that,” he smiled once more as he replied to you in a teasing tone, finding it amusing to keep winding you up, “I’m not that bad, you know.”

(But he knew that he absolutely was.)

There was a pause that followed as he awaited your response, seeming slightly disappointed when you never fulfilled his curiosity and kept quiet instead. Moving on without skipping a beat, he decided to unveil his grand offer.

“Anyway, I’d like to propose a binding vow. Nothing too serious.”

You blinked as you were taken aback. A binding vow was serious no matter how you looked at it.

“You’re kidding?” you asked.

“I am not,” he replied in a very sure way.

“There is nothing casual about a binding vow,” you sighed, feeling the corners of your lips sink into a frown. You already had an idea of what this strange guy was, so you had a feeling that by the end of this conversation, you’d be entangled in something you shouldn’t be because he wouldn’t let you back out of it.

“A binding vow doesn’t have to be dramatic,” he teased, “at least hear me out.”

You sighed in a resigned manner, feeling weary already, giving him a look that indicated that you were at the very least listening.

He smiled again, continuing, “Dedicate your efforts into helping me carry out my plans successfully and I’ll be more honest with you, only keeping the vow active until completion then I’ll… let you go,” he lied, his words sounding too good to be true but spoken smoothly enough for you to believe him, “sound good?”

“And if I don’t?” you asked, still not quite wanting to do something so serious.

“Then you can otherwise die, I don’t keep things around that are useless… or boring,” he replied as he laughed gently to himself, leaving you once again unsettled and tired from his demeanour.

You sighed once more, knowing that he knew just how much you wanted to live.

Feeling cornered by his proposal—the offer frustrated you.

“Fine,” you gritted reluctantly, at least considering it, “now what exactly am I agreeing to?”

“I’d like to keep you around under my control—let’s call it a puppet contract,” he explained as you hesitantly listened, “you’ll stay under the control of my strings and I’ll occasionally drop the cross for you to use your technique.”

“Wait, I won’t be able to use my own technique?” you asked, not liking the sound of the catch.

“It’s your biggest drain of energy,” he replied, having a genuine answer that wasn’t malicious for a change, “if I can control how you use your energy, then you won’t run into problems again.”

“And why would I agree to that?” you continued to prod.

“Because, I can teach you other ways of defending yourself, silly,” Kenjaku revealed, “you shouldn’t be fully relying on your technique anyway.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion as you stared at him. “But I'm a sorcerer?”

“Modern sorcerers are more about flashy combat styles and showing off their techniques,” he began to explain as his eyes widened for dramatic effect while he spoke, “but these things aren’t completely reliable, so I’ll teach you the fundamentals of close range combat.”

“Even in my state?” you warily asked.

His eyes flickered up and down before nodding, his lips parting with an already loaded answer, “Sorcerers who rely too much on their techniques are an easy target, you need to learn to at least block a close range attack.”

You sighed wearily again, already feeling exhausted the longer that this conversation unfolded. A stark contrast to his energetic self in comparison, seemingly getting a kick out of this whole discussion.

Kenjaku then closed the gap to your face with his own, enjoying the idea of bullying you into eventual submission, his voice suddenly low, “Besides, don’t you want to learn how to keep me off your back? If you don’t learn how to at least push me away, then I’ll just keep on teasing you forever.”

You pulled away from whatever that was and attempted to push him back. He let you, for now.

“Wouldn’t this slow you down?” you asked, attempting to further the distance between the two of you.

“You would only be doing so if you continue to avoid the subject,” he mocked slightly as he bridged the gap between the two of you, his fingers brushing around your face, “I wouldn’t want you to get knocked around by someone with more combat intelligence… unless it’s by me.”

You didn’t quite hear that last part that he mumbled, but you weren’t looking forward to anything he proposed to you regardless.

“So in order to keep you safe and more reliable for both yourself and me, I’d like to keep your technique on a leash and teach you something far more valuable instead,” he said as he drummed his fingers along your cheekbones, the action seeming slightly taunting yet endearing.

Once again, you felt conflict stir within you as you took the idea further into consideration, still not enjoying the idea of your technique remaining dormant, locked away in your body unless he had a say in it. The only appealing part was leading a somewhat normal existence, but in order to do so without your technique properly present, took a huge chunk of your identity away.

However, if it was all just temporary—then maybe it wasn’t actually so bad. You wanted to live normally beyond anything else, refusing to go back to a miserable existence of pure sickness and fatigue.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” you muttered.

“Then you’ve made the correct choice,” Kenjaku smiled as he continued to drift closer, fully aware that he wasn’t going to release you from the vow so easily because technically, his plans had no real end.

In fact, you would be stuck with him forever.

If only you truly knew what you just signed up for, though. He laughed to himself at the notion while you continued to stare at him in a confused manner.

However, in some ways, he couldn’t quite shake the thought that you were partially correct and were technically slowing down his plans due to his strange attachment towards you—ultimately otherwise concluding that as long as you continued to aid him in his success, that there was otherwise nothing truly slowing him down, after all.

So maybe this was all fine. It didn’t hurt to have a companion to bother as he pleased, knowing that you’d likely just listen against your will to whatever he subjected you to.

Besides, you were also easy on the eyes, so that much was a bonus.

After such an agreement, the days continued to pass you both by and your old dynamic was quickly soon reestablished, spending the days training with him just like before except now you also had the displeasure of learning how to fight with someone like him. Just as he wanted you to do so also, you found that you became embarrassingly reliant on him because he controlled just about every aspect about you.

Something that he secretly enjoyed a great deal.

So much that it wasn’t something that he could neither deny nor ignore anymore.

And so as the day finally concluded, you found yourself unintentionally falling asleep against his shoulder, leaning against his body without even realising that you were doing so. You were worn out from the training session and it was late, so you couldn’t help but snooze off. Kenjaku in response reluctantly accepted this, finding that he didn’t mind it a great deal.

In fact, it had been such a long time since he had experienced such innocent closeness that he almost missed it, feeling nostalgic for the sensation, even if it did feel different this time.

Curiosity took him over as he moved you slowly down onto his lap to admire the situation further, feeling quite odd about the whole thing. Initially, he chose to explore carefully, observing how the battery held up during sleep but then he started to feel more and more curious about certain things.

He watched you as you remained fast asleep and completely unaware of both what and who he truly was, not knowing that it was otherwise a miracle on his end that something in particular hadn’t happened sooner.

What was this feeling again?

Something a bit like lust, but dilated.

Even now, he chose to keep it contained, despite the mood suddenly feeling strangely different. He wasn’t one to feel regret or remorse for anything that he did in life, choosing to believe that a life well lived and experienced was from personal gain and yet, there was a faint hint of hesitation to continue.

Perhaps it was because you were his project, therefore an extension of his ideals. To keep you so readily compliant and willing to go through what he admittedly knew was a chaotic direction into the future felt like something he had to preserve in its current state.

His eyes once again drifted down and locked onto your sleeping form, the look that occupied his face utterly vacant as his eyes bored into you. Something however kindled in his coal black eyes as he moved his fingertips to trace against your face, seeming to enjoy having your life completely vulnerable and at the mercy of his own hands.

There it was. That was the problem. He spent a good amount of time investing his effort into you and he had the complete power to simply undo it all, just because he could. Regardless of how much your own life was left to yourself, he was the one who now ruled it and that filled him with a thrill beyond his comprehension.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he indulged after all. Your life was his now and he had the power to play with you as he liked.

You were lucky that he actually liked you, though. It could have been so much worse.

He continued to explore slowly, brushing his hands against your shoulders through to your back and around your waist, finding that he liked how it sat in his hands. His fingers wrapped around your side and squeezed firmly around it, as if trying to memorise every detail. Curiously, he felt around your ass next, squeezing his fingers around it and enjoying the feel of it.

His other hand proceeded to drift into his robe, gently parting the fabric and taking hold of his now excited length. He wouldn’t do anything just yet to you, instead choosing to simply test the waters of what he wanted.

Slowly, he stroked himself as he watched you continue to sleep against his lap, his other hand still brushing around your body as he continued to grow harder, realising that this particular feeling wasn’t going away.

He felt his cock grow completely fat in his hand and he quickly got increasingly comfortable as he adapted to a smooth motion in getting himself off. All the while he stared down at your unaware and fast asleep face as you did so, finding the sight of you being completely unaware to be strangely exciting.

He continued to pleasure himself as his breathing grew shaky and his legs tightened, continuing to stare you down, somewhat impressed that you didn’t awaken from the disturbance. The excitement felt almost painful as all remaining reason rushed along with his blood to his cock, making the session almost feel sore.

His eyes were relentless as they stared down at your sleeping form as his hand moved up and down his shaft, his breath shuddered as he got closer to pushing his limit.

His mind ran rampant with curiosity and wonder, imagining exactly how your slick warmth felt and just what sorts of noises you could make for him; his jaw clenching as he neared his end, shooting thick white ropes against his robes—seething a stifled groan to keep you perfectly unaware.

He’d have to wash those now, he sighed.

He dedicated his sights on you, the curiosity continuing to burn him away, distracting him from any other thought that he might have had. There was nothing more that he wanted other than to feel his skin mesh with yours, to push inside of you and to feel how you wrapped around him.

Maybe tomorrow he’d indulge in just that.

Knowing that such a feeling wouldn’t simply go away.

He would sleep on it for now though, momentarily leaving you alone on the bed to go and clean himself up. However, upon returning, he once again decided to share the bed with you and the feeling returned.

He stared at you as he laid near your side.

Knowing that nothing at all could possibly help or save you now. He was simply in too deep with his own wants and needs to back out now.

If only you knew what awaited you the next day, though.

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pebiejeebies · 4 months ago

Text

uh.

hi guys?

god dang how the funk do you say hello after disappearing for months..

HELLO GUYS HI <:DDD

I’m still pretty- scared of tumblr. But I missed so much of you guys. I can’t just hide away.

I may not be active, or maybe im a little too active, but there are many new changes and stuff

due to my religion, I CANT be a therian, so yeah.

Me being a system is probably true aswell but im taking my time on it this time

and how I am doing? I’m. Doing. Uh. I’m great I guess

I definitely got scarred mentally from my dad but hey im still alive!

Uh. I. Also want you to say goodbye to my sona.

I just,, can’t.. use her. I can’t. I’m scared of drawing her so I’ll just.

..Say hello to flashbulb..! My new sona! She doesn’t really smile, at all. More emo. Uh. Super caring though!

I don’t know what to say I guess

a lot has changed, mentally. For me at least

my health is never stable so uh LMAO expect me to try and keep myself together

expect some drastic changes to my tumblr profile aswell.. maybe not now but definitely soon

uh. I. I missed you guys a lot

I love you

#im back

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salty-croissants · 10 months ago

Note

Hey! If your still taking requests, I was wondering if you can do Rayman/Ramon being a father to him and His S/os kids? I can see Rayman being his kids to work, like bring your kid to work day, that would be so cute

Thank you for the request !

I’ve been struggling to get back writing for quite a few days now , had a massive writer’s block phase … I’m really sorry I took so long to get this done ! Hopefully I’ll finish the next request a bit faster ;-;

Anyway , I really enjoyed writing this one : I love the idea of Rayman being a sweetheart to his kids … it brings me joy :,)

Hope it turned out okay !

And again , sorry about the inconvenience ;(

Details : use of gender neutral reader ;

established relationships ;

no warnings needed

Rayman 🧡

Two words : Best Dad .

Rayman has always had a soft spot for children , so now that he has a family with you , the love of his life , he truly feels like the luckiest man alive .

He knows that he can’t be around all the time , but whenever he’s there he wants to be as present as possible and make everyone smile … that’s probably the most important thing for him .

Rayman is more than happy to bring his children along to work when he is allowed to , and the sheer enthusiasm he has when talking to them and answering their questions is surely something to behold …

< Ohh - what is that , Dad ? >

< That is the television production studio , sweetie : it’s the place from where the things I say get filmed and then put on tv .

It’s one of the most important rooms in this building , and the one where I spend more time into . >

< That’s so cool !!

Can we go in there now Dad ? Can we ? Can we ? Can we ? >

< Hehe , alright , let’s go !

Just be careful and stay close to me , okay ? >

< Okay ! >

Rayman isn’t bothered in the slightest by the fact that his coworkers and staff members could see him and his kids , and if anyone has complaints about it ?

Well , he is ready to have an hours long argument with them if necessary , so most people don’t even try to talk about it … at least not out loud .

When he comes back home , despite how tired he may be , Rayman is pretty much always down to see what his children have been up to while he was away :

they crafted something or made a drawing ? He will see it .

They want to tell him all about something cool that happened today ? He will give them his full attention .

< Dad ! Dad look , it’s you ! We made it together ! >

< Wow - that’s such a good drawing you made there ! I love it ! >

Rayman makes sure to keep every little thing they gift him , and sometimes you can find him sitting somewhere , smiling while staring at something they made …

< Aw , is that a new one Ray ? >

< Mhm …

Y’know y/n , sometimes I look at you and our family and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have all this .

I can’t thank you enough for staying with me … I love you , I love you so much ~ >

< I love you too sweetie … I’m so lucky to have you as well ~ >

Ramon 🖤

Saying that Ramon will do anything to keep you and your kids safe is an understatement …

He is ready to throw his life away to ensure that , and that often brings him to make many , many dangerous decisions .

< y/n ? Is … is Dad okay … ? >

< Don’t worry hun , he just needs some rest and he’ll feel better soon …

Still Ram , that’s not an excuse for doing stuff like that .

Please , please promise me you’ll never do it again … >

< I … hnn … I’m sorry … I just - I forget myself sometimes …

I’ll try to be more careful , I promise . >

Ramon’s softer side is especially visible when he is spending time with your children , playing with them …

< Aha ! We got you ! >

< Heh , you got me … >

< And now you’re trapped , forever !! >

< Noo - how could I be so easily defeated ?? >

You can’t help but smile whenever you see your partner like that , at this point only ever smiles when you’re all together : it’s the one thing that keeps him sane .

Since he doesn’t want to make your kids worry about how bad things actually are , with Eden constantly on the hunt for him and his beloved family , Ramon most likely confides ��to you at night , when his tormented thoughts prevent him from getting some much needed rest …

< y/n … ? >

< Hey love … can’t sleep … ? >

< … yeah …

This is just such a huge mess … I really have no idea how we’re gonna make it through this with those assholes constantly looking for us .

You deserve better … our children deserve better … maybe the both of you should - >

< No . I know what you’re about to say , and I’ll never leave you , no matter what happens .

I know that … things aren’t easy right now , and I honestly have no idea what’s gonna happen next … but I know we’re going to get through this , and we will be happy , all three of us … I promise . >

Your loving words always manage to give Ramon some reassurance , and with a momentary sense of peace he eventually manages to fall asleep in your arms , grateful to have you and your kids by his side .

He will do everything in his power to keep you safe , no matter what it takes .

#captain laserhawk #x reader #rayman x reader #captain lazerhawk rayman #rayman #ramon clh #cl rayman #ramon captain laserhawk #gender neutral reader

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hannahssimblr · 4 months ago

Text

I’m running again. It is the hottest day of the year, with the sun blazing down on me, but I’m running anyway, because this is what I do. It's become the pattern of my life. I sleep like shit. I get up, I run, I shower, and then I sleep the afternoon away.

This morning at six, I talked to Alison. She was in the airport, crying in a bathroom stall.

“It’s so weird that literally nobody knows I’m here,” she said. “The last time I left the country was for our school tour to Rome, can you imagine? That now I’m doing this?”

“You’re going to be okay,” I said, though I didn’t really know it to be true. How could I? Who am I to even say that to her, as if I could ever be sure? As if I am a person capable of making anything okay. I think that all I ever did was fail her, and she is alone and scared today, so I am failing her again.

“I would have come with you,” I told her, in a voice that sounded weak and pathetic to my own ears.

“I didn’t think I wanted you to, but now I do,” her sob echoed off the bathroom tiles. “Now that I’m here, I don’t want to be on my own anymore.”

“I can still come,” I said, but it was a lie. It was too late. I suppose that’s always been the nature of our relationship. I’ve acted too late, and reached her when the damage has already been done.

For the rest of my life, I’ll think of Alison and feel regret. Her face and that feeling, intertwined forever.

When we hung up, I stared out at the sea for a long time, the gentle pull of the tide, felt the heat of the sun that poured in the window that reminded me I was real and alive, then I put on my shoes and went for a run.

It’s a day for swimming, not for running. The sea is still and glasslike today, clear turquoise and gently washing over the shore, as seagulls draw lazy circles overhead. I will swim, just not now, not while there are still heavy thoughts in my head.

It seems I am the only person in town stupid enough to run on a day like this. I know sunbathers are watching me as I go, and I catch snippets of their incredulous remarks. “What is he at?” someone mutters to his friend. “He’ll be dead before he gets to the end of the beach, I’d say.”

I might be. Within minutes, my t-shirt clings to my body and sweat from my hair dribbles into my eyes. It stings. I wipe my brow with my arm, which is salty with sweat and unhelpful, so I commit to partial blindness for the rest of the run, kept on track by the slash of shore to my right.

The beach is a blur of colour. Towels scatter the sand, and the vague suggestion of parasols jut above the masses of flesh coloured blobs, but the shape of her is unmistakable. She’s coming in my direction with her phone to her ear, ambling along the strip of damp sand the tide washed earlier. I can’t hear what she’s saying. There’s too much noise, but she hangs up abruptly as soon as I reach her.

“Hi, Evie!” I wipe my brow again and act casual about my atrocious sweat patches.

“Oh, hey! I didn’t know it was you.”

“Just out for a walk?”

“Yeah, enjoying the sun.”

“Same here. Hot, isn’t it? Sorry, I’m so sweaty.” Perhaps drawing direct attention to it will lessen the awkwardness, but then again, maybe it will make it all worse. What if, somehow, she hadn’t noticed until I pointed it out?

She smiles sweetly. “I suppose that’s what happens when you go running in a heatwave.”

“I know. There’s no escaping it, though. It’s just been hot all the time lately.” I glance toward the sea. “At least I can swim after it. The water looks so nice.”

“Yeah, it’s lovely. I’ve been getting in three times a day.”

I smirk at her. I should ask her if this is some kind of competition, or if she just likes to brag about all the swims she takes. It would be funny, but now I think I’ve left it too long, and saying it now, after such a long pause, would make it seem like I have thought too much about it. I think I actually have thought too much about it. I look down at my feet, and a bead of sweat darkens the sand in front of me.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t… I didn’t, um, text you after that night we went to the graveyard.”

A smile. “Oh, no, well, I didn’t expect you to, like I wasn’t waiting for a message or anything. It’s fine.”

“I know. I just said that I would when I was free and I didn’t. I’ve been kind of distracted the last couple of weeks.”

“It’s okay, I understand! I get like that sometimes, too.”

“I just have a bad habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, like, I’m a flake. I hope you weren’t waiting to hear from me.”

She tosses her air over her shoulder and laughs breezily. “No way. I didn’t notice. Don’t worry, I honestly do that all the time. Things just get in the way.”

I am desperate to get out of my sweaty clothes. The sea calls to me like a siren. “Well, if you want, we can hang out now. Are you busy today?”

“No, I’m free.”

“Okay, well, do you feel like a swim?”

She frowns. “Right now?”

“Why not? Yeah.”

“Oh, well, I don’t have my togs with me at the moment.”

“Me neither. I was going to go in naked.”

She blushes. “Wha- oh, um, really?”

Bad joke. Maybe I should put more considered practice into shutting up. “No.” I pinch the hem of my polyester shorts. “I’ll just wear these. They kind of double up as running shorts. Look, you don’t have to if you don’t have anything to swim in. I just thought I’d ask. Maybe we can hang out later if you don’t have-”

“No!” She cuts me off in such a frenzy that I blink, surprised. “Just give me a sec. I’ll run up to the mobile and grab my togs, just… just wait here.”

Without giving me a second to respond, she sprints up the beach, sand flying behind her in cartoonish clouds. I watch her go all the way to the end of the beach, where the tiny figure of her scrambles up the side of a steep dune and leaps over a fence, gone from sight within seconds.

I wait for her by the shore, my body too tired to do anything but sit and pick handfuls of sand from the ground. I could just get into the sea and swim now, but going in without her feels like a betrayal. She might want to do something competitive and race me anyway, and I might like to let her.

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

#lucky boy 2010 #she's back after her week away #hi Evie #proud of this beach though!#we love busy spaces

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humanfleshbutcher · 2 years ago

Note

Hiii! Can you make a platonic x reader with puss in boots (the last wish version) where the reader is a kitten and keeps calling him papá. I just thought it would be a super cute idea but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!

THIS IS AWESOMMEEEE

Puss in boots+ Reader 'Papa?'

Summary: After Puss in boots saved you, you saw him more than a legend, but a father.

!PLATONIC!

You don't know where you are. One minute, you're just traversing the forest alone, and the next you're in someones hands as they carry you deeper into the forest. You meow frantically, not knowing what to do.

They continue to carry you, the dark forest making things unnecessarily more menacing, especially to a young kitten like you. Your ears were down, your tail was swishing rapidly.

"Stop it!" One of the people whispered to the one who was carrying you.

"What am I supposed to do? I'm not the one meowing!" She whisper yelled to the other girl.

"Idk just shush it! If he hears us it'll be your fault!" The girl with blonde hair esponded angrily. The girl that was carrying you picked you up to eye level, then poked your head.

"Be quiet!" She mumbled to you, going to poke you once again.

"Hey!" Someone yelled out from behind the girl, they all instantly turned around, turning to face the owner of the voice.

"Drop the kitten." He said in a dark tone. A blade was pointed at both of the girls, the one holding it being a ginger cat. He was wearing boots and a hat with a belt around his waist.

"Ah, Puss in boots. Just who we were looking for." The black haired girl said, pulling out a poster.

'Wanted, dead or alive.'

There was a picture on the poster, perfectly drawing out your savior, Puss in boots.

The Cat tilted his head to the side a bit. "So in order to get me here, you've decided to kidnap a kitten from a shelter and drag it to the centre of the woods?"

The girls stayed silent for a second, all of them looking at you.

"Uh- YEah! And it worked, as you can see!" One of them answered, pulling out her sword... well more like a blade. Puss eyed it, before smirking.

With a flick of the wrist, he knocked the blade out of the girls hands. After a second, she regained her posture and pulled out a second one.

"Haha!"

Puss knocked it out again, his smirk still on his face.

"It's gonna take more than a blade to get the Legendary Puss in boots!" He taunted. The girls looked at each other for a moment, before dropping you to the ground and landing on your feet.

"On the other hand, we don't know why we came here. Bye!"

And with that they ran away. Puss retracted his sword and fixed his hat.

"Hm, amateurs." He scoffed, before kneeling down in front of you.

"Not to worry little kitten, you're safe now." He stretched out his hand, and petted you. You leaned into his hand and started purring.

Puss smiled.

"Papa"

His eyes widened. You were staring at him with a smile. Puss let out a nervous chuckle.

"Heh, um no i'm not your papa-"

"Papa!"

... He honestly doesn't know what to do. He just stared at you as you rubbed your head into his hand, purring ever so slightly.

He was just thinking. This never ever happened to him before. What does one even do in this scenario??? He just watched as you sat down in front of him and meowed.

After 10 seconds of silence, puss let out a defeated breath.

"Well, I don't see why you can't hang around with me a little more... But then, I will bring you back to the shelter where it is safe." He stated, picking you up.

"Papa!" You once again said, earning a chuckle from him.

---------------

Bonus scene:

"Ah, so thats how that happened." Kitty softpaws said, turning to you watching at perrito with curious eyes as he rambled on about how cute you were.

"Yeah, but Y/N is an entertaining one." Puss responded, drink some of his leche.

"Woah, woah, woah! You already named them?" She asked, honestly surprised. He just nodded, looking unbothered to the slightest.

Kitty swished her leche around in her cup, before coming up with another question.

"How long have you had them now?"

"2 months."

"2 MONTHS?!"

(Yeah he felt to guilty to bring you back to the shelter, you're too adorable)

--------------------------

Sorry this took a while to write and if it looks rushed! I only saw it this morning and tried to write it as fast as possible, it's a little shorter than the others but I hoped you enjoyed it!

#puss in boots #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots x reader #platonic #perrito #puss in boots the last wish #kitty softpaws #young readers

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riordanness · 1 year ago

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would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - tmr!newt

0.6K wordcount

warnings: blood mentions, panic attack mentions, skin condition

requested: no

a/n: excerpt from a much longer fic i’ve been working on during my severe mental and physical health challenges over the course of this year. it’s a little something i mostly wrote for myself to cope, but i thought i’d share a little with you guys, cos it’s nice (??) to have people understand what you’re going through, and tbh i’m kinda proud of how this little piece turned out

Now that the initial shock and panic of arriving here, in the place they call The Glade, is slowly starting to wear off, the pain is taking up most of my attention. Even now, my arms are almost unbearable. The pain is tantalising me, taunting me. Cry, it seems to tell me. Break down in front of all these boys and sob.

I blink, suddenly unsteady on my own feet. “I–I’m gonna go,” I announce, not talking to anyone in particular, and stumble towards the Homestead. I manage to get myself to my room, before my legs give way beneath me and I crumple to the ground, leaning against the wall for support.

My head falls between my knees, and one, heartbroken sob shudders through me, shaking my entire being. The red-hot fire on my skin spreads to my chest, to my tears, to my head. I am distraught, trapped inside this ring of flames, burning me alive, from the inside out.

I’m aching, every bone, every muscle crying out in agony, screaming at me to grant them relief. I can only cry harder, wishing with every ounce of my being that I was able to grant that request.

The hot, itchy ants begin crawling, through the flames, and all over me, smothering me with their little, persistent stomps. I’m choking. Unable to breathe beneath all the itching and the pain.

I scratch roughly at the skin of my wrists and forearms, my nails digging into myself, drawing blood. But still, the itching is unbearable. My nails drag again, again and again, each time harsher than the last.

I don’t know exactly how long I stay like this, crunched into a ball, trying to disappear from this narrative I’m forced into.

I have no memories, but it is obvious this condition (of sorts), is a long term thing. I wonder briefly, in between the pain, how long it has been. How many days, months, years have I been fighting it? Is it even a fight? Or just an endless battle of no hope, and no happiness.

I wonder if it’s the cause of my being here. Maybe I got so fed up and exhausted of this pain and this whole damn thing that I just chose to be sent here. But what would that do? I’m still in pain, obviously. Nothing would have changed regardless of my skin. I dismiss the idea, the wonder still strong in my mind. I was burning with curiosity as to why or how or when or where.

I sigh, long and deep, drawing my knees impossibly closer to my chest, as if squeezing myself tightly into a ball will somehow keep out the pain. Maybe the fire ants can’t get in if I block them out.

The thought of those fiery, itching ants does it for me. My mind collapses. I shake, my sobs violent but deadly quiet. My head hurts, my throat is tightening up in a hot ball of tears, my chest feels like it’s been wrapped in cling wrap way too tightly.

There’s nothing but me.

Me, and the pain, and the tears, and the fire.

Nothing else matters. I don’t have room for it to matter. I’m all full, my space for love and life and joy and laughter taken up by a wretched pain. A chronic condition.

Nothing matters.

Nothing.

At.

All.

Finally, someone finds me. My door squeaks slightly as it’s pushed open, and a boy steps inside. My tears blur my vision, so the figure is hard to make out at first. I brush angrily at the tears, hating to be found like this.

“Hey, hey.” It’s Newt’s voice, soft and gentle. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

He gathers me hesitantly into his arms, awkwardly hushing my cries. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he keeps saying, keeping his voice steady. Eventually, I calm down, wiping the last of my tears away. My breathing is still shaky, though, and my voice trembles when I pull myself away from Newt.

“Thank you,” I say. “Um, I–I’m sorry you had to see that.” I might not remember my old self, or my past, but I was uncomfortable with him seeing me like this. It made me feel vulnerable, too open. I instinctively close myself off from Newt, physically shifting away from him, as I stare at the roughly built wooden floor.

“Are you alright?”

I hesitate, then I slowly shake my head, still avoiding looking at him. It feels wrong for someone to have seen me like that. Seen me looking that weak and pathetic. Crying my eyes out on the floor just because of a little bit of pain.

Well, a lot of pain, but how can you possibly explain that to someone?

“Do you want me to stay?” Newt asks, his tone still gentle and reassuring.

I shake my head again, a lot more firmly this time. “I’m okay. Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”

Newt gets to his feet, but still crouches beside me for a second, lingering.

“I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than I mean it to.

“Alright, okay.” He straightens, lets out a tiny sigh I don’t think I’m supposed to hear, and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind him.

I don’t move from the floor for a while, exactly how long I have no way to tell. The sunlight slowly dims, eventually leaving me in darkness. Still, I remain curled into a ball on the floor, my head aching dully, and my heart aching even worse.

I feel terrible for snapping at Newt like I did, but then I remember the feeling of crying in his arms, feeling stripped bare, my true self laid out for him to see. The memory makes me shiver for some reason.

#newt x reader #maze runner #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #skin condition #i have a skin condition #skin stuff #skincare #short fiction #excema #excema condition #red skin sundrome

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berrypass-de-murdler · 16 days ago

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2 - 59 The Parking Garage Follow-Up

Ngl it's getting difficult to write this season lmao

Oh look a character I'm drawing too much who could have seen that coming

It's probably gonna transition to Seashell next

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Irratino slowly walks outside. He is met with a dark human silhouette.

PERSON: I know where Logico is.

They run away. Irratino tries to follow, but the figure immediately dies! Instead of being surprised, or even neutral, Irratino just looks sad. My sweet goat lord, I know where Logico is. He’s in Drakonia.

Sister Lapis, Coach Raspberry, and High Alchemist Raven are suspects, but also Manservant Brownstone, mysteriously. As a Drakonian representative, he has to know information…

Irratino knows that what Logico would do is carefully examine the suspects’ cars. In a limousine, he finds a blood stain - terrifying! He scoops it up and uses the portable reader he got from Dr. Crimson to determine that it’s from the Brownstone. Why would his own blood be in there?

Razz is riding a tiny bicycle. He doesn’t have a car. Or does he? That’s kind of a big leap. But isn’t that what Logico does?

IRRATINO: Why are you trying to ride your bike up the stairs? RASPBERRY: I am?? …Oh. I don’t know what’s gotten into me… I’m in such a daze… IRRATINO: You still weren’t supposed to go outside, were you? RASPBERRY: I CAN’T STAY IN THAT DAMNED HOSPITAL ANY LONGER!! [sobs] IRRATINO: Hey, hey! It’s okay!

He tries to pat Raspberry, but he screams in shock and falls backward. The tiger turns red with embarrassment and runs away.

LAPIS: Men are so EMOTIONAL nowadays…

She’s tossing around a crowbar, a beautiful sign.

IRRATINO: There is nothing wrong with a man showing his emotions. If none of us did, we’d all be like that human there. RAVEN: [long ahem] Little help?

She’s tangled up in wires hanging from the ceiling. Irratino comes over to set her free.

RAVEN: You’re looking down in the dumps, champ. No update on the little guy, huh? IRRATINO: Well… there has been… but I still can’t find out who kidnapped him or why. And that could be very important to his survival… RAVEN: You’ll get your little man, buddy. There’s no way anything’s happening to him so long as you’re alive.

Irratino gives her a hug.

RAVEN: Getting touchy there, pal. Back off. IRRATINO: Oh. I-I-sorry.

Irratino climbs up to the top floor of the Detective Club, and stares off at the whole town, wondering if Logico could be somewhere by. (He couldn’t.) The mysterious killer of the mysterious figure was undoubtedly the mysterious Manservant.

M. BROWNSTONE: Fine. I quit serving the Violets when I realized that Lord Violet was just a butler! IRRATINO: He- what? M. BROWNSTONE: So I stole his limo, and I became a follower of Major Red. IRRATINO: Lord Violet is long dead! And quadruped. But that’s not important - did Major Red want you to kill my source?

Brownstone jumps! Irratino screams and looks down. But don’t worry, not that you were, because the moose landed in his limo, which drives away in a cartoony manner.

Everyone wishes Irratino didn’t call Logico his ‘source’, and Irratino wishes that he had just one speck of a clue why this ever happened.

The end!

Lord Violet didn't have a limo wth

It was probably Bronze's

How could Lord Violet possibly drive in this circumstance-

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

#murdle #cartoonmurdleverse

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lemonynuggets · 1 year ago

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hey Crowley,, infodump about the first oc that comes to mind >:) I will draw them also bc I am bored

HEYHAIAHSLGLSISNWID HIHIHI HIII

Since u liked Ghost Host I’m talking about him bc I don’t think I ever talked abt him to anyone?? They deserve some attention

ok so obviously. They are a ghost. But they weren’t supposed to, well at least he shouldn’t be on the neutral plane

There IS a plane for ghosts but that’s obviously not Ghost Host (or on that same note, Rubem for example) is, and that is due to uh… interplane technical problems

But there’s no way anyone can know that so any ghosts that get trapped on the neutral plane just assumed they became a ghost bc they died and it is what it is yk

BUT Ghost Host is a menace. A little bitch if you will.

Don’t let his cool ass design fool you, he is NOT a good person (ghost, person, whatever, you get it), but oh boy he got soo much worse when he became a ghost, they never did anything bad but he saw not being alive + being able to pass through stuff + "teleporting"/flying + becoming invisible as a cool opportunity to he wicked

so the story until now: they were alive yeah ok BAM they're fucking dead and plans are kinda weird rn so my bro becomes a ghost on earth?? Oh my God so cool that's a great moment to do shit and be evil tm, how you ask me? Obviously by becoming a radio host that tells horror stories and terrorizing people who listen to him bc he found a way to move through radios bc ghosts aren't bound to the limits of physics, yes it occasionally results in murder, no no ones knows how he became a radio host and no one can get him out bc they don't even know who he is??? Girl help we are fucked

Ghost Host be like "I post from here"

ALSO I haven't decided exactly when this is set but it's not in the present + IT DID STOP

It stopped BECAUSEE um how do I put this. Ok so remember plane hoppers? (I think I explained those to you and Len not sure), yeah so they ARE the only guys who can jump between planes and also the only ones who know everything about this plane shit and therefore the ones who take care of any interplane related problem, unfortunately the. Technical issues I mentioned were out of their hands but they figured they could make the damages smaller if they took any ghosts that got trapped to the right plane (which I'm still working on)

So yipee!!! Ghost Host is not on earth anymore!!!!

There will be worse technical issues later

#lemon man talks #oc talk

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x-adoringvoid-x · 3 months ago

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🧛‍♀️ - Vampire AU

I had a lot of thoughts for this! It took awhile to figure out exactly what I wanted. I have some more ideas but I think I’ll just add them on to this later when/if I decide to. Also, someone asked for a Romantic Comedy AU…I have no idea what to do for that. I’m so sorry, my brain just isn’t wired like that! I’ll think more about it but I apologize in advance if I don’t have a response to it

Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy with how I draw myself. The skeleton face thing was inspired by Hone Onna from Hell Girl! I thought it would be a cool way of keeping the skeleton trait in this universe. It’s ghostly! It’s not a very useful vampire ability though.

I thought about making Hadri a bug at first but it’s hard to deny the appeal of a classic bat vampire. Wings are hard to draw…but they’re fluffy and cute! They can still shapeshift too, since that’s a cool vampire trait.

In this universe, Hadri is sort of that trope of the First Vampire. I don’t have the specifics planned out but they’re an ancient creature that can transfer abilities to others through blood. They’ve turned a lot of other people but they didn’t get the community they were hoping for. One of them stays with them and works as their Tailor but they aren’t really close. Just associates. Hadri lives with him in a big abandoned castle. Every now and then, Hadri leaves to go get more blood.

I’m a normal woman living in town but I don’t really get along with my family so I leave home. I’m not able to take much with me and I realize that I’m woefully unprepared for the path I’m taking. I keep walking, getting more lost, running out of supplies. Eventually I can’t do anything but rest and enjoy the quiet forest. It’s a nice moment. And then I die!

Hadri finds me awhile later. They’re curious why someone would be all the way out here. They scoop me up and take me back to the castle because it’s a perfect opportunity to try something they’ve been experimenting with: raising the dead. And it works! Unfortunately I didn’t get any cool vampire powers but I am alive, so that’s something. Hadri is surprised to see I’m so calm about the vampire stuff and even more that I’m grateful and want to help them. I can’t do much since I’m so weak so the only thing they can think to do is to offer me a role as a maid.

Our relationship is pretty close. Hadri thinks I’m so interesting since they don’t really get a look into human life often. They also think my appetite for blood is funny (I like my steak pretty rare, combined with new vampire cravings I don’t think blood would bother me much). I’m a little scared of them at first but they don’t give me a reason to stay afraid of them so I’m fairly open with them. Honestly…I think they’d fall in love first. I just don’t think this version of me would even be thinking about having a relationship. Hadri would probably not bring it up either for a variety of reasons. I don’t have a clear idea of how we would get together here but it would probably be a ‘feelings accidentally revealed’ - ‘oh hey that would actually be really cool’ kind of situation.

Anyway, I don’t know how I will do things with this but I want to! This is being microwaved in my mind somewhere. I think it’s kind of interesting because my oc universe is usually very Soul based and this is like a Blood based version of that! Except I am also there and involved more. (I have no idea how I’d work myself into the normal canon lol)

Oh also, I just want to mention that I love the DS Castlevanias. I used to just explore randomly on my brother’s completed files. Soma Cruz is really cool! Such pretty art and cool monster designs. I don’t remember much about Castlevania these days though :p

Thanks for the ask! I hope this was interesting to read!

#oc f/o #fictional other #f/o art #self ship community #brix rattles

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peoplepersonoaktree · 1 year ago

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Is this how I reply to comments like this? Idk. Anyway~

@banana-pancake5 if you actually wanted me to answer this, here-

HOLY CRAP THIS IS GONNA BE LONG-

Hopefully not too long- I'll try not to rant too much, we'll se tho

so, the Au is your basic, “what if Mikey wasn’t able to open a portal?” Au, which has been done a whole lot, I know, but oh well. I’ve been working on it since like, July and I’ve only gotten to pg 19, so idk if I’ll ever finish it.

so, one day, in like, mid June, when I first started actually trying to draw the turtles, I started drawing a thing in this little baby sketchbook I have, based on the song “Georgia” by Jonah Kagen. And then I sent it to my friend. And then it grew and we eventually came up with this and this entire storyline. We just kinda plotted this thing out where like, two weeks after the invasion, Donnie starts getting these weird visions of Leo in the prison dimension because why not, and tries to get him back with Casey's help or whatever because he thinks that these visions mean that Leo's still alive. Here’s the original pictures because I think they can be in here-

Idk. I didn’t know how to draw clothes and still don’t 😃👍

I don’t think I’ll ever post the comic on tumblr or anywhere because I probably won’t ever finish it, but if I get to a certain point in the comic, (which is way far away) maybe I will. Idk.

*Cough* and then I also have a mini thing where I turned them all into mushroom people but that's a whole different thing-

NOW TO THE KID’S SHOW WHICH IS THE PART I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT~

Like I said in this post, my friend texted me at like, 2 am on a school night, and was like, "Hey, hey hey... wanna write and animate a kid's show w/ me??" and I said heck yeah because I definitely have time for that. I asked her if she had any idea for what it would be about or anything like that and she did not, so we just kinda... pulled something out of the ground the next day and I ended up getting obsessed.

So, the kid's show...

We haven't figured out a name for it because we're both indecisive, which is... bad if you're trying to get something done. But we got characters and half a storyline settled!

So, the show is centered around four main characters, Atlas (A deer), Fern (A fox), Nutmeg (Mouse), and M I L D R E D (a chickadee). They're also in the post linked above.

The show would be about these four, going on little adventures, exploring the forest where they live, discovering odd creatures (thinking about adding in a few Acorn Creetchurs because that would be fun) and just living life

but as the series continues, the colors start to get more muted and the backgrounds start to get more gray, as if the life is being drained out of the forest.

one day, while exploring, they come upon this odd sort of... black goop that's spreading across the forest floor, infecting and killing everything it comes into contact with. Then, the four of them have to find a way to stop the spread of this odd goop. This goop represents pollution/deforestation, and we have a few ideas for how the goop started, one of my favorites being that it's controlled by some sort of animal spirit that grew up in a heavily polluted area and died at a young age because of the conditions and the only reason it's spreading is because it wants to be able to breathe fresh air and drink clean water for once, but it can't, because everything it touches immediately becomes polluted.

We both went into this knowing absolutely N O T H I N G about animating, so it'll probably be a few years until we're actually able to do anything with this, if we do anything with it.

That- that little animation is the most I can do with animation. That's the best I got.

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askbensolo · 4 months ago

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I am a fight just like you. I’m a good bit older than you but was super hot when I was younger. Like every emotion just came out as anger. Still does really but I have a better grip now. I did a lot of internal work on it. Therapy helped.

My wife is a freeze like Fannie. We make it work. We balance each other out.

Hitting things is not recommended :P

...Huh. Fight, flight, or...freeze.

So...she isn't just ignoring me? It's more like...she's perceiving me as a threat, and her survival instinct is telling her not to make a move until the threat passes?

I guess...I kind of know how that feels. When I was younger, I used to get really bad anxiety attacks. Everything was scary and made me fear death, and my muscles would all seize up, and I couldn’t formulate thoughts, and I'd just sit there crying and useless, drunk on oxygen and shaking like a glitched-up droid...

I mean, I used to get angry back then, too. Flipping tables and stuff. Yelling at my parents. And, I still get anxious now...like how thinking about being married, y'know, put me on the floor for a li'l bit. (Hey, uh, how is that, by the way…?)

But...after Snoke tried to take me over, and I realized the astronomical degree to which he screwed me up...the things he did to me, physically and mentally and emotionally and psychologically and through the Force...how he took advantage of my fear and encouraged it constantly in order to keep me under his disgusting gnarly thumb…how he broke me down and brainwashed me and made me think my life was over if I left him and brought me to the point of nearly ending it myself, lightyears from home, with a handful of candy-colored tubes and the worst haircut of my life…

I changed.

Yeah, I still get scared...but you best believe that when I do, I'll frickin' fight for my life. Because I'll be damned if I ever let anyone put me in a corner again. I'm nobody's dog and I'll never be. I refuse to let myself get hurt, or let anyone hurt me. If you freak me out, I will come at you, biting and hissing and clawing, and I will draw blood.

And if there’s no one else for me to be mad at? Well, kriff. Fear is weakness, and I can’t stand to be weak. I’ll tear into my own flesh and eat myself alive, turning myself inside out, exposing my nerves to the open air, becoming my own chrysalis, feasting madly on my own mangled tissue in the hopes of recycling myself into someone, or something, stronger—

Er...sorry. Poet brain took over.

...You know? I think I'm maybe starting to see why she gets scared of me sometimes. I can…uh. Get a little crazy.

Still...I don’t understand why she wouldn't just talk to me. I mean, I would much prefer her yelling back at me and calling me names, to the black-hole terror of her silence...but, um...maybe I'm not a good benchmark for normal responses to stress, and I shouldn't use myself as a standard to measure her against.

And...uh...maybe I shouldn't hit stuff, yeah.

…Okay. Next time Fan and I talk...my first priority is gonna be making sure she knows that she's safe, and I'm not a threat. And...I'll try to remember she's not a threat to me, either.

#askbensolo #written #fannie #story event: an awkward situation 2 #fear leads to anger #ben…bud you are a little crazy #omg anon are you my husband and me lol

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panicawa · 1 year ago

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ADHD+feedback=agony

This is going to be a long and possibly boring text post about art and posting art online, with some self-reflection on top. I don’t usually do these and it’s been ages since I’ve actually written any kind of a longer text, but I really need to put these thoughts onto imaginary digital paper. I’d appreciate if you read it through and if you could give me any form of feedback on this! Your own experiences and etc. I do art because it’s a part of my ADHD-ridden personality, this desire to create always buzzing inside, it’s neither and both work and hobby for me, something I love and hate the most in life, because it tortures me as much as it fills me with joy. So if you ask me ‘hey, what’s your purpose for drawing? What’s your goal, your endgame?’ the answer is really ‘there’s none, it’s more of a curse, it’s just something that makes me alive so I can’t help but continue, cause if I stop it feels like I’d vanish or lose myself completely’. I can’t say I’ve done all other forms of media to express myself, but I’ve tried a lot of things (poetry, photography, music, cosplay, crafting and so on and so forth) and nothing comes close to drawing. And I’m not even sure if ‘expressing myself’ is a right way to put it because it’s not that my art is any kind of deep and meaningful, I just illustrate plots and characters I find appealing in some way or another, for the most part. Now, I don’t consider myself to be a professional, but I also have 20+ years of experience at this point so I might as well be, depending on how you look at it. All self-beating aside, I like to think that my art is at somewhat plausible level at the moment? I am proud of how far I’ve come despite everything and I can still see a lot of progress happening, and god knows I work my ass off to continue improving. The main thing I want to address here is how erratic and incomprehensible my online feedback has been recently and how it makes my brain perform loops of dissociation. I wish I didn’t care for feedback at all, but sadly I do, it’s what gives me the most dopamine. I’ve recently discovered it’s yet-another ADHD thing. Nothing else in life makes me as fulfilled as seeing other people enjoy my pictures, it’s just pure joy without any downsides to it. It’s really not about financial gain from art or fame and popularity, but just creating something new and then seeing people have a positive emotional response to it is what lights up my life and helps to get through all the shit it throws at me. And considering that my family is mostly completely disinterested in what I create (which has been hurting me more than I can describe since I was a little baby), and my paranoia makes it hard to accept compliments from friends and partners, online feedback has been the best medicine for me. I used to tell myself one day I will get good enough to have some following that would be excited about my art and give me constant feedback in return, because that’s what I always saw happen to other artists. I never aimed to be the most popular or to achieve certain numbers of likes, just being ‘good, on average’ was the ideal for me as long as I’ve had a constant crowd behind. I thought, a lot of musicians of the past don’t really make any more new hit songs, but they still can gather a crowd of long-term fans at a concert, right? Once you make it to some level of popularity you never really go into a complete oblivion, as long as you’re still working your craft and putting it out there? And there have been times in my life where I thought that the moment has finally happened and was now my reality, that my art was finally well enough to climb into ‘popular post’ tiers, and that I have gathered enough audience to have a stable interest in my publications, but it never lasted too long. I understand how social media work, how people change hobbies and fandoms, and how the world around us changes altogether, but recently the ride has been too wild for me to comprehend. Although I have a significant number of followers on all my main social media (tumblr, twitter, IG) (and a lot of those followers are fresh newcomers too), the feedback has just been... all over the place. I understand that I’m dipping into different fandoms here and there (then again, the vast majority of them are extremely popular on their own, so you’d think that should help the situation too?) and I’m experimenting with my art styles, but no matter how hard I try there’s just no consistency. I post something that I’m sure will do well and it does. I post something I’m sure will do well again and it completely flops. I post some scribes for fun and it goes super high. I post another funny thing and there’s no response. One post gets 10k likes, the next one gets 30 likes. Then the next one gets 5k. Then 15. I feel like I have no control over it at all, no understanding. It feels like playing a roulette. Just up to chance every time. It’s the same on all social platforms so I don’t think I could attribute it to algorithms only. How can I ever try to invest time and energy into bigger projects if I can’t even estimate if it has a chance of being any sort of likeable? Is my art just extremely non-consistent on its own and I just don’t notice? What’s going on??? I’m entirely grateful for big numbers but I’d really rather have them spread through most things I post? Of course some publications are going to be more popular than others, it’s perfectly fine, but while 300 likes on some posts and 600 likes on other is understandable, the gaps between 10k+ and less-than-30 are just too extreme? Especially when they happen one after the other? I swear I never see this with other people and it just makes my brain intolerable. For all those of you who have reached the bottom of this rant, thank you! If you have any thoughts to share or similar experiences, please do let me know! My main concern here is how to battle this feeling of am-I-going-insane-or-what, and not the numbers of likes. Finding any way out of this would be good because it has really interfered with my art process lately and I hateeee it!

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