#hey fun idea; send me a topic and ill tell you i something i think is beautiful or underappreciated within that category

[soaringsearingphoenix]

I read On Looking because of this post -- well, okay, I only read half of it because it's so fascinating that I can only read it while confined to a dull space; otherwise I feel compelled to get up and walk around looking each time an expert pointed something out, which was every page or two. (I managed to sit and read a few chapters while on an airplane, but I haven't had cause to fly in some time). It is worth a read.

I'd been thinking about this even before then, though, because I'd been trying to explain to someone what the connection was between some of my favorite classes and subjects of learning; physics, horticulture, and cartography seem pretty distinct at first glance, among other things in that category.

The answer I came to was that they were each instances of times when I had learned something that changed the way I looked at the world I saw every day. I realized I'd never thought twice about different map projections (why are some wall maps square and some are round!). I hadn't considered how extensively the flpra I see from day to day was someone's decision, or how often those decisions fail to account for the long-term health of the plants. I hadn't realized just how much there is out there to learn about - I can't even distill my physics classes down into one thing that reshaped my reality. The sun, maybe - I looked at the sun with new wonder the more I learned about it.

My dad is always chatting with people, and he has a great memory for faces, and a knack for finding common ground. It seems like he always knows someone anywhere we go - we would joke that he would either find a friend or make one any time we traveled. I don't have a memory for faces - I have a tendency to look down when I walk, and to wander off and find a still, quiet corner with the comfort of something green. He is always amazed when, after I wander back (and we say farewell to his new friend) I show him close-up pictures of bugs on my phone. "How in the world do you find these things? I swear, they're drawn to you," he says. But it's the reverse - I'm drawn to them. The same way he somehow managed to run into a couple from the same little island as his grandfather while we were at a gas station in the middle of the desert. (I found a ladybug.)

There are wonders all around you, and we as a civilization have spent hundreds of years finding and documenting them. I think one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself is seeking to learn about those things, whether through reading about them, or watching documentaries, or talking to other people. Surround yourself with those who know things you don't about topics you're interested in; most people with an expertise love nothing more than a chance to talk excitedly about their passions to someone who is excited to listen.

People who like rocks see cool rocks everywhere. People who like birds see interesting birds everywhere. The tree on your yard could be an exceptional specimen. The world around you could be amazing and magical, but you aren’t enough of a nerd to see it.

[drawlfoy]

Wonders of Ohio P.9

masterlist

requests are closed, but please read this first :)

if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!

pairing: draco x reader

request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)

warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)

a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)

music recs: 

puppy princess -- hot freaks

loverboy -- A-wall

linger -- the cranberries

tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

word count: 3.8k :)

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence. 

Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world. 

Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.

Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.

As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched. 

“Why do you think he went back?” 

Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”

“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”

“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”

“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”

“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”

“It’s my job.”

After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.

“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”

Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.

Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic? 

It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less. 

As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered? 

He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case. 

Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address. 

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with. 

Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him. 

That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together. 

“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”

“What if he’s still deciding?”

“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”

“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.

Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.” 

Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.

“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?” 

“Mom!”

“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”

“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.

“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”

“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her. 

“Whatever you’d like to think.”

~ 

The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house. 

On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose. 

She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax. 

The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month. 

She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.

Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly. 

Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.

Y/N froze.

Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer. 

But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power. 

Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic. 

Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.

She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.

No way...

Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”

Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.

Her heart stopped. 

“Draco? What are you--”

Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.

When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.

“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.

She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”

He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.

“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”

“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”

Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.

“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent. 

Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one. 

The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake. 

“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.

He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”

“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.

“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”

“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”

He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”

“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”

“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”

“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”

“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”

“Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?” 

“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.

Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”

“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.” 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”

“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”

He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”

“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”

“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.” 

“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”

Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”

“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”

He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.

“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”

“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”

He didn’t respond.

“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”

With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”

She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.

final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;

[builder051]

The talk

Chasing Ghosts

(I generally do not play in this arena; DO NOT ask for other stories with PMS, etc., as illness features. I do loosely plan to continue this thread, though. Or @mohini-musing might pick up for me.)

Warnings: weight (though not ED context), SA inc. prostitution, blood, emeto

____________________________

Tasha comes down the hall and stands like a ghost behind the sofa.

James is in the recliner across the living room, and he barely looks up from the textbook he's pretending to peruse. The quiet music he's had playing in one ear has long since captured his attention more than the multiplication of matrices. He's fairly sure he'll never use the skill lest he become a software engineer post-graduation, and the prospect of that's looking pretty slim.

He sees Tasha out of his peripheral vision, but doesn't move his head or lift his eyes for acknowledgment. She's probably drifted down from her weekend high, realized it's Sunday night, and gotten up for a Gatorade and maybe a glance at her homework.

Steve, though, who's lying on his stomach and taking up the whole of the couch, practically jumps to attention. He stands, scoots, and sits again in the amount of time it takes James to blink and make the first inhalation of a laugh.

"Sorry," Steve says, as if he's personally offended Tasha and just been called out. "I didn't mean... I was just, like, studying..."

Tasha shrugs. "Didn't come to sit with you," she says, in a voice that recalls the 'boys are gross' tone of young teenagerhood.

"What's up, then?" James asks, trying to bring back the balance of the room's atmosphere.

Tasha makes an ugly face. She opens her mouth, then shuts it. "Can I talk to you alone?"

James scoffs. "You think there's privacy in this apartment?"

"I can go, I don't know--" Steve looks around.

"Just talk," James says. He almost rolls his eyes, but the undercurrent of Tasha's affect seems to hold an air of seriousness. If there's something she needs to confess or ask for help with, he doesn't want her to feel less than secure.

Tasha lets out a breathy sort of sigh. "Blood," she says. "There's blood."

"Huh?" Steve responds first. "Where?"

James takes a little longer to contemplate the admission. Has she cut herself? There's no visible damage; Tasha's not holding an injury or howling in pain. Bloody vomit? That's nothing new, really, and even with vampire-red teeth, which she doesn't have, Tasha probably wouldn't come crying to him.

James is still thinking when Tasha points vaguely down the hall and to the left, which is, technically speaking, her side of the apartment. Or at least the bedroom and bathroom they'd parceled out for her when they'd unofficially moved her out of her dreary campus housing.

"What, in your room?" Steve asks.

"No." Tasha screws up her eyes. "I mean... I'm bleeding."

The cogs continue to turn in James's head, and just as he lands on an answer, Steve gives up, shaking his head and saying, "I don't get it."

"Fuck you," Tasha mumbles. "Both of you." She turns and starts to head back down the hallway.

"Tash." James jumps to his feet, his algebra book falling to the floor.

"You guys are fucking gay..."

"Hey!" Steve interjects.

James flaps his hand at Steve to shut him up. "Maybe we're gay, but I'm your big brother." He shoots a quick glance at Steve, hoping this won't surpass his no privacy promise. They've done some pretty wild stuff together: partying, puking, cleaning the carpet... Period talk shouldn't be too far out of their wheelhouse. At least, not if Tasha wants to talk about it.

Tasha huffs and rounds the edge of the sofa. She stands beside the arm, leaning her hip against it for a moment, before finally deciding to sit down, as far away from Steve as possible.

"I..." James starts, assuming it's his responsibility to keep the conversation going. "I assumed you hadn't been, um. You know."

Tasha's 100 pounds soaking wet. In her usual cutoff shorts and tank tops, he'd give her 95. Maybe 92 if she's detoxing. James assumes she has something like female athlete triad going on, except without the athlete. He doesn't like to think she's just too skinny to go through... normal biological processes. If he blames the drugs, sees them as wrecking her body instead of bringing her solace, then he'll have to turn eyes on himself, and there's no way in hell he wants to do that.

"Smart one," Tasha says. "And exactly how much thought do you give to the functioning of my uterus?"

Steve gives an 'oh shit' face, looking from James to Tasha and back again as if wondering how he's been so thick headed. James agrees, but is also relieved, in a way, that his boyfriend hasn't been thinking about his sister in, well, that way.

"Seeing as I have, more than once, pulled you out of an R-rated situation with iffy consent, and you have yet to become pregnant--" James starts.

"Yeah, ok, you don't have to..." Tasha shakes her head.

James decides not to stop his momentum. "Do you know how much sex you're having? How often you're using protection?"

"I said, you don't have to." Tasha glares at him. "I don't have one. A cycle, or whatever. I can't get knocked up."

"Well, I figured that, but you can still get an STD--

"I don't think you're hearing me," Tasha says. "I don't have one. I haven't. Like, ever."

"But--what?" James squints and cocks his head. "What about, what was it? Cheerleading camp?"

"That stupid summer program when I was 16?" Tasha bites her lip. "Yeah, that was a lie."

"You're losing me." Steve reminds them he's part of the conversation as well.

"What, didn't your mom send you to cheerleading camp when you were a sullen teen?" Tasha asks him, seemingly in all seriousness.

"Um. No." Steve withers a little under her stare. "There was a threat to beat it out of me with a bible when I was that age, but that never came to fruition."

"Mm. Fun times." Tasha scrubs her hair back from her face. "I told mom of the moment I started at camp, so then she couldn't go nuts about the moment I 'became a woman,' or whatever."

Tasha has always seemed like a little kid to James. Her stint at camp had only taken place... he quickly calculates... 3ish years ago. Tasha is a kid. She hasn't busted 20 years old yet. But, for the first time James wonders if other, more metaphorical factors are at play.

The idea quickly fades, though, when he remembers the actual topic at hand. "Ok, but Tash," James says. "What's actually going on right now?"

Tasha practically sinks into the couch cushions. She wraps both arms around her abdomen. "Blood," she says. "Kinda...everywhere."

"We'll clean the bathroom later," James says dismissively.

"And I'll do laundry," Steve offers. "I used to be the scrawny kid who got beat up a lot. I can do bloodstains."

"Not helping, babe," James tells him before Tasha can get a word in.

"Feel sick," Tasha admits, rather suddenly.

"Bathroom it is, then," James decides. "But, let's use mine."

Tasha seems to have turned into a shapeless blob on the corner of the couch, her chest meeting her thighs with her arms still wrapped around her stomach. Her face is in her knees, which James has to admit, would be easier to clean than the carpet.

"Come on," he says gently, taking Tasha's shoulder. "If you're gonna puke, don't do it here, please."

"But I already diiiiid," Tasha complains, drawing out the last word and adding the hiccup of a fake crying fit.

"Sorry." James hooks his flesh arm across Tasha's chest and lets her cling to him down the hall. He takes her into his and Steve's disorganized yet bleach-shined bathroom. Cleaning was practically Steve's hobby. Yet keeping down the clutter? Not his strong suit.

Unsure of exactly what kind of sick his sister intends to be, he sets her down, fully clothed, on the toilet, which, of course, has the seat up. Then he dives for the trash can and shoves it into Tasha's chest.

She gives James an appreciative glare, then sets her chin on the edge of the trash can, ostensibly to wait for an upcoming retch. James can practically see it, rising from the bottom of her spine, up her back, to her neck and throat before finally pushing a pitiful amount of spit and bile out of her mouth.

"Ok..." James sighs. If she's down to just that, she's been at it a while. Lost a lot of fluids already.

"Gatorade?" Steve asks in a chipper tone, putting voice to what James is thinking without a trace of delicacy.

"Hmph." Tasha spits. "If it'll... make it stop burning..."

"Lemme guess, vodka last night?" James tries to make her laugh. Maybe cough.

"Fuck you."

"Eh, we'll talk about that later," James says, hoping he doesn't sound threatening. "For now, how about I go with you?" James pulls on Steve's arm and heads for the bathroom door.

"Hey, you said no privacy here..." Tasha's irritated and sickly voice trails after them.

"Yeah, well, puking people aren't allowed to leave the bathroom," James says. "That's the house rule that trumps all the others."

"But I puke on the couch all the time--"

"That's because it's too hard to get your fucking limp-ass octopus body into the bathroom in the first place." James rolls his eyes. "Just sit tight."

He quickly drags Steve into the kitchen. "Ok," he says. "You have to know about this stuff. You took health class in high school, right?"

"I've lived with a woman," Steve reminds James, a little shamefully. "But Peggy was super private. You know, like inhibited, about, like, um..."

"Yeah, I get it." James shrugs. Then, "Did you know you can stem a nosebleed with a tampon?"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know..." James shakes his head.

"Why do you?" Steve looks a little take aback now.

"The field. Desert air's pretty damn dry."

"Ah. Ok."

"We'd get donations of shit from the states. Care packages, Costco overstock, you know. Just, whatever. When we got pads and stuff, whoever was unloading the box would just hold them over their head and yell 'who needs them?'"

"And I'm assuming people would just raise their hands?" Steve postulates.

"Yup." James pops the P. "No privacy. Everyone knows everyone else's bathroom habits. When you're deep in the field, there's no men's and women's facilities. Half the time the privies don't even have doors."

"Ok." Steve nods. "Experience, then. You have lots of experience."

James shrugs again. "You have to be chill, ok?" He opens the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Gatorade. He holds one to either side of Steve's neck, as if to physically cool him. "This is, like, super weird and awkward for her. She's really scared, I think, and her brave face just looks...jerk-ish."

"Yeah." Steve takes the Gatorade. "I can be good with this. I really care about her, even if she doesn't think I do."

"I know you do," James says. "It's all in the presentation right now, though. She's skittish. But, also, for some reason, willing to talk. We have to tease it out. And you can't ruin it, ok?"

"Ok, ok." Steve seems to understand, even if he doesn't appreciate the words.

They head back to the bathroom, where Tasha has, for whatever reason, decided to heave into the toilet instead of the trash. She squats awkwardly, sitting on one heel. From the angle he's at, James can see a spreading stain on the back of Tasha's shorts, which has made an imprint on her ankle and the bottom of her foot.

"Don't move," James says, reaching for a towel.

"The fuck would I?" Tasha coughs, holding her stomach and moaning.

"Well, when you're done, stand up slowly and wipe your feet."

"...Shit..." Tasha spits. "Like I said. It's fucking everywhere."

"Yeah..." Menstrual blood, James has no experience with. But blood in general, yeah. It does get fucking everywhere. There's that first moment when the entire body and all its systems are still in shock, like when the arm is first blown off, and then all he can see is red. Even the bone that was white just a second ago is lost in a sea of scarlet--

"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order," Steve says with a grin, clearly trying to be friendly, but missing out on one, or more, of the points. "You're not pregnant."

"Well, of course I'm not, you dingbat," Tasha replies, rolling her eyes so hard that James is sure it must give her a headache. If she doesn't already have one. "And besides. He used a condom."

"Wait," James says. He's been preoccupied by not looking at Steve. "You know that?" he pokes cautiously. "For sure?"

"...Yeah..."

"Every time?"

"To be honest," Tasha starts, spitting and pushing herself away from the toilet. She crab-walks to the towel, wipes her feet, then sits on it, criss-cross like a little kid. "I don't know if he actually gets off every time." She draws her mouth into a straight, defensive line.

"The fuck does that have to do with anything?" James asks.

Steve looks very much like he wants to get the bleach from the cabinet under the sink, pour it into one ear, tip his head, and see if it comes out the other.

"He pulls out," Tasha says bluntly. "And there's never any, you know. Gunk."

"Wait, he does both?" Steve's eyebrows disappear into his hair. "A condom and--"

"Ok, ok." James puts up his hands to shush them both. "And this is, what, this is your dealer we're talking about?"

"Yeah, I guess, if you want to call him that," Tasha says with a shrug.

"What else would we call him?" Steve now looks disgusted. "That'd be stupid to let him just, like, defile you every week."

"He doesn't--" Tasha starts, but then she hiccups, and maybe thinks better of what she was going to say. She still stares Steve down, though, then looks to James as if grasping at straws of support.

"He's, like, a manufacturer?" Tasha turns her gaze sideways.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." James puts his hand over his face. He'd assumed Tasha was getting her stuff on the street, through a framework of various interlopers. Now he's getting news that his kid sister is taking substances thrown together in some coed's bathtub? This is too much.

"Tash--" James starts, trying hard to keep his bubbling anger and concern from spilling over.

"He's a PhD candidate," Tasha says defensively. In Chemistry. And--" her eyes flicker from side to side as she seems to wonder what's appropriate to spill. "I won't tell you his name. But... I'll tell you that he got kicked off the football team for being too violent, but he still wears his green jersey all the time to prove how much better and calmer he's become since that happened, which was only in the freshman year of his undergrad..." Tasha babbles on.

The more she defends the guy, the more James hates him. He feels bad for him a little, slinging synthesized crack to get by. He feels better for Tasha, knowing that what she's taking is most probably pure. But the sex thing is--

"It's kinda creepy," Steve says, taking the words right from James's mouth. "Like, how much older than you is he?"

"I don't know." Tasha shrugs. "Not that much, I don't think. Started school early, finished fast. And I'm not sure this is his first post-graduate program..."

"Maybe shouldn't've added that last part," James says, screwing up his eyes. "So he's had, like, however long to prey on girls who are barely legal. Who might not even be legal..."

"Well, I'm legal, and I can do what I want." Tasha crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah," James sighs. "Unfortunately."

"But what about the thing with the handcuffs? The gang rape? Losing your bra?" Steve blurts out.

"Wait, you..." Tasha's eyes flash with anger. "You told him?"

"What did I say about privacy?" James quickly reminds her. "The non-puking kind? And, um," He looks to Steve. "Maybe a little respect?"

"Sorry," Steve mutters. "But--I really do--"

"I don't really remember that stuff," Tasha says.

James studies her face, but he can't tell if she's lying.

"Probably just party stuff that got out of hand."

'You mean you were too stoned to know the difference between your regular and some random dude off the street,' James thinks. 'What do you do at parties? And how the fuck do you slip past me?'

"He's your pimp, too, isn't he?" Steve asks, pointing at Tasha rather accusatorially, in James's opinion.

"No!" Tasha leans forward and brings her arms down to cover her clearly still sore abdomen. "Bruce wouldn't--" She swallows. "I didn't-- You didn't hear--"

James hasn't been a student long enough to know who was on the football team 4, 5, 6-odd years ago. He supposes he could look it up, crossing the name with accounts of any violent incident that amount of time ago. He's not sure he wants to, though he'll probably wind up looking it up later. Either that, or Steve will. James still has his ex-mil connections, a few of which were absorbed into the local police force. Steve, on the other hand, is better with social media and navigating the niceties of such mysteries as SnapChat and TikTok.

"Ok, fine," James says, just ameliorate his sister's panic.

"He doesn't even drug me at parties," Tasha goes on, probably unaware of how terribly young and desperate she sounds, making lame-ass excuses so she can keep her boy toy.

"And you've had other guys who did?" Steve asks incredulously, even though James shakes his head frantically at him to try to get him to shut up.

"You know Rumlow?" Tasha asks, since apparently she's now all about spilling names.

James shakes his head, but Steve screws up his eyes and says in a disgusted voice, "him?"

"Yeah..." Tasha sighs and looks down at her fingernails, which are stained rust-red at the root. "Remember the night I didn't come home?"

"Yeah, and scared the living shit out of us because your phone was off," James fills in the blanks.

"Well, I didn't turn it off."

"You mean that asshole kept you overnight without any means of getting yourself out of there?" Steve looks downright sick. "I mean, I know he looks slimy, but that?"

"I think Maria accidentally slept on the couch and found me at, like, 6am trying to stick my head in the linen closet because I couldn't find the bathroom." Tasha laughs, though the situation is anything bur funny.

"And I was so pissed at her for having you out all night..." James trails off.

"Yeah, maybe respect my choices a little more?" Tasha glares at him. "I mean, Maria's studying to become an EMT now. You can't think that badly of her."

'Great,' James thinks. 'Someone who'll drug Tasha to the gills every weekend.' She'll be less likely to overdose, but James has seen it all too often in the field. Newly minted medical personnel eager to sow off their skills and rushing into action.

"Yeah," James says, trying not to smirk. "So you got a girlfriend and a boyfriend now?"

"Ew, no," Tasha replies. "Friends with...benefits, I guess. If you even want to call it that. Folks who look out for each other, using a barter system?"

"Did you recently take World History?" James can't help but poking at her vocabulary.

"Fucking-a, I don't know. Once I pass, it's in my past."

"That's actually a good motto," Steve points out.

"Anyway," James says, bringing the conversation back to topic. "None of your...friends... are invited to this house."

"It's not like I want to bring them over for dinner," Tasha replies. "I guess drop off and pickup might happen, since, well, you know now, and I don't have a car." She shrugs. "Cool?"

James hates the idea of someone inebriated driving a car in which his sister is a passenger, despite the fact that he's done it before. Regularly, actually. Maybe he just hates the idea of the driver being someone who Tasha just fucked. The air might be heavy between them. They might smell like each other's deodorant and musk. They might kiss each other good bye. The thought makes James's stomach turn.

But, "sure," he says. "That's fine.” At least she'll come home.

James shares a glance with Steve, which seems to confirm the same sentiments, "Yeah," Steve echoes, as if his opinion counts for anything. "Fine."

[jawnjendes]

i’ve loved you for all of my life | shawn mendes

forevermore 3/?

shawn x goth oc

AN: i started a discord for shawnblr. blease message me if u wanna join.

PREVIOUS

masterlist | playlist coming soon

Even in a hat and sunglasses, Shawn still felt like he was being watched. He sat outside the main hospital entrance, smoking a cigarette. Everytime anyone walked past him to enter or exit, he turned away or put his head down. He was especially paranoid today, and needed to be on the lookout for, well, anything. People staring back at him, Ann’s parents, people with cameras. It was very important that Shawn didn’t get spotted today. The anxiety of it all is what made him step out for a smoke in the first place.

Normally, his security team would have a hand in making sure he was in a private waiting room, but given that his head of PR was not interested in Shawn unless he was doing PR things, he practically had to fend for himself. His main priority was getting to see Ann, but he didn’t want any unnecessary party seeing her.

The last three days were spent getting updates from Ann’s phone, sent by her cousin Jimena. Apparently Jimena was the only family member who did not have any unnecessary animosity towards Shawn, and politely kept him posted. And once Shawn knew what had caused Ann’s internal pain and bleeding, he had to see her as soon as he could.

Neither he nor Ann thought it was possible, and that was still technically true. It didn’t exactly happen the normal, conventional way, but hearing the word ��pregnancy” was still worthy of a double take. There wasn’t any hint of joy or celebration when Jimena explained it to Shawn over the phone, that’s how he knew it was bad. No amount of Googling the terms was all that comforting either.

He took another drag.

“Hey, cheater!” called a loud, female voice from behind him. Clearly her habit of projecting her voice in public spaces hadn’t died down.

Shawn rolled his eyes to himself before getting to his feet. He turned to the woman as he blew the smoke out. “Hi, Jimena. How’ve you been?”

She adjusted her backwards cap with a grin on her face. “Oh you know. Was doing well til I found out my cousin was harboring a dead fetus.”

“Mm, you’re as blunt as you’ve always been.” Shawn attempted to sound amused, despite how awful that visual was. He dropped the last bit of his cigarette and stepped on it to put it out.

“It’s how I deal with this crap. So, you ready?” Without waiting for an answer, Jimena turned on her heel and headed back inside the building.

Shawn was quick to fall in step next to her. “No one else is there?”

“Nope! Her parents went home to shower, and then they’re going to get some things from Ann’s place. Should be good for at least an hour.”

She had a bounce in her step as she entered the empty elevator. She was particularly peppy given the circumstances. That had to be a sign that things hadn’t gotten worse with Ann, right?

“How’s she been doing?” he asked once the doors were closed.

“Well, it’s like I told you over the phone,” Jimena said. “Her tube was ruptured, but other than that, the surgery was successful. She just has to recover for the next month or so.”

“But, emotionally? Is she lashing out? Still talking and eating?”

The shorter girl gave him a look. But then it was like a lightbulb went off in her head. “Right. I forget good boyfriends worry about the mental wellbeing of their significant others.”

His eyes widened underneath the sunglasses. “Uh-”

“She didn’t tell me, I figured it out,” Jimena casually said. “For one thing, I know my cousin isn’t dumb enough to date someone that she knows is cheating on her. And another thing - no offense - but you and Camila is the fakest circus act I’ve ever seen. And a third thing, Annalise was really adamant on getting you to visit when no one else was here. And-”

“Okay, okay.” Shawn put his hands up in surrender. “Yeah, you guessed it. You just can’t tell anyone else, not even your family.”

“Hey, I gotchu. You’re cool with me. Why do you think I’m helping you?”

He smiled at the sentiment. At least one person was in the Shawnnalise corner.

Finally, the elevator doors opened on the second floor. It wasn’t too busy, some nurses were running around as per usual. Visitors walked around with their ill loved ones.

Shawn felt his heart beat a little faster as he stepped out into the hall.

“She’s at the end of the corridor,” Jimena told him. “Last room on the right. Have fun.”

“You’re not coming?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I’m the lookout. I’ll send Annalise a text when I see her parents or anyone else.” And she pushed the button to close the elevator doors.

Then, Shawn took a deep breath. The last time he saw Ann in the hospital was back during college. The nerves were quite the same, just radiating all over his body. He just wanted his girl to be okay.

His girl was in fact being looked at by a nurse when he walked in. Ann looked very sleepy, staring off to the side as a needle was put into her arm. However, her eyes lit up upon seeing Shawn at the doorway.

“You’re here,” she weakly said.

“I am,” he replied, taking the empty chair at her bedside. “How you doing, honey?”

She sighed. “You would not believe the shit I’ve been through.”

“Aww,” said the elderly nurse. “You’ve been a trooper! Strong lady, you are!”

“It’s true.” Shawn grinned. “I wasn’t even here for it, but I know it’s true.”

“Are you a friend? Boyfriend?” the nurse asked him.

“Best friend,” Ann replied for him. “Known him forever.”

It feels that way sometimes.

As soon as the nurse left, Shawn took Ann’s hand and kissed the knuckles. Then he leaned forward (somewhat awkwardly moving from the chair to the bed) to kiss her forehead and cup her cheek. It was hard enough that she was in the hospital; Not being able to see her at all was torture. Shawn couldn’t even focus on anything else, not even as a distraction. Now that he was here, able to see for himself that his girl was functioning, he could breathe again.

“I missed you.” Those words couldn’t even do it justice.

“I missed you too,” Ann replied.

Now that she was there in person, Shawn noticed the differences in her features. Apart from just looking tired and weak, her skin had paled, her eyes were a little sunken in, and her hands were pretty cold. Still Ann, just a little frail at the moment.

“So what’s this about an ectopic pregnancy?” Shawn asked, holding her hand in both of his. “Were you actually pregnant?”

Ann shrugged. “Not technically. It’s dead if it doesn’t implant in the right place, and it planted right on the tube and ruptured it. Things like this are common for people with PCOS so… I guess I should have seen this coming.”

“There’s no way you could have known,” Shawn reassured. “You didn’t think you could get pregnant at all to begin with.”

“Yeah. The really bad news is, my mom’s asking questions now.”

“Questions like…?”

“Like who was trying to get me pregnant? Why didn’t I tell her I was seeing someone? Why am I so inconsiderate? You know, questions of a parent who has an innate need to know every little thing about their child.”

Shawn moved a strand of hair behind her ear. “She asks because she worries.”

Ann shot him a look. “So tell me what I should say to her then. Note: she nor my dad like when I ask them to respect my privacy and will not take it for an answer.”

“Uh…” He took a moment. “They should respect your privacy? You’re your own person?”

“Ahh…” Ann patted his hand. “My parents aren’t white.”

“Well, unless you wanna hire an actor…”

“Sounds like a bad fanfic.”

Shawn sighed and squeezed her hand. “I promise I’ll get out of this contract soon. Then we won’t have to hide anymore.”

“Getting married sounds cool too,” Ann added.

“Oh, a hundred percent.” And he stood again, bent to an awkward ankle and pecked her lips.

Ann inhaled when they pulled apart. She tilted her head. “Were you smoking?”

Shawn couldn’t stop the guilt from appearing on his face. It was a habit that was not particularly liked by many people around him. “I’m sorry…”

“Mm, I’ll let it slide this time. I’m too tired to do armchair psych.”

“Okay.”

Silence fell between them as they watched the TV hung on the wall. Shawn tried to watch the cartoon, but his eyes trailed to his hand holding Ann’s. The situation she was in would be heartbreaking for those who want kids, or were trying for kids. Ann seemed relatively unbothered. No she hasn’t had an ectopic pregnancy before, but she already knew she wouldn’t be able to properly bear children. She knew her body wasn’t able to do things normally.

It’s fine. She couldn’t control that, and Shawn always tried to help her as best he could. He and Ann haven’t had the children talk yet, although she usually leaned more towards “no” if the topic was brought up. Shawn was okay with that.

Looking at his hand around hers made him imagine… what if it was a small hand? A much smaller hand? Pink and held tight into a fist, resting on the palm of Shawn’s hand.

The idea made his chest get warm, his heart melted a little. But the fact that it would only stay an idea abruptly brought him out of that five second daydream.

“What would have happened if you were actually pregnant?” The words came out of his mouth before the thought completed itself in his mind.

Ann didn’t say anything at first. She met his gaze, the mild surprise on her face speaking for itself. Then she merely shrugged. “I haven’t thought about what ifs like that since my PCOS diagnosis.”

“And when was that?”

“I was seventeen. I never really thought about having kids before that either. It just never… I didn’t really care, despite the inherent pressure that’s placed on women and even young girls to have kids, like it’s their only purpose or something.” She spoke quickly and then took a breath, getting back to the main topic. “My mom was mostly worried that I had cancer when we realized things weren’t working the way they’re supposed to. Both my parents were sad when we found out I would most likely end up infertile, and I... I just never thought about it since. It’s just how my body works: unable to bear children.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“I can’t really miss something I never had. Besides, you know me. I have better things to do than be reduced down to my biological functions, or lack of.”

“Right,” Shawn said in thought. “Well… have you thought about it now that this happened? You know… us having kids of our own?”

Ann sighed and then squeezed his hand. “I might ask you the same question.”

The two silently looked at each other. Shawn felt a little sheepish now that he heard Ann’s perspective of this particular realm. But he couldn’t lie to her.

“I see a little toddler with your eyes and my hair, running around in a black onesie,” he admitted. Okay, so maybe he’s thought about it more than once. More than he liked to admit. “Or a blue onesie. Or a pink one. I know it’s not realistic, it’s just… just a thought.”

“Thoughts are allowed. It’s a nice thought. I just think we should worry about this contract of yours, and then telling my family and yours that it was you and me all along, and then getting married…”

“Right…” He nodded, pushing the parenthood feelings to the backburner. “Still a lot to worry about first.”

“We’ll come back to it,” Ann promised.

At least she wasn’t saying no altogether.

_______

NEXT

making a new taglist so lmk if u wanna be added!

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Potentially loaded question but do you think Frida was forgiven a little too easily? Like considering how much she lashed out at Hilda and David then turned to the marra. I know she's a kid and it's understandable to make mistakes, but from a story structure point of view was it earned or rushed? This came up in a discord chat and

you're the most active Hilda blog I've seen (also you're super cool and I accidentally hit send too early 🤣)

Hey there, anon! Okay, so... I had actually never given this topic much thought before, so after I read you ask this stuck in my head. I even re watched The Black Hound so I could remember things and answer you properly. I’m not the best at media analysis, but this is a very interesting point that you brought up so I’ll do my best to break it down so I can try to explain my mixed feelings about this subject.

(Also please forgive me but this is not at all a straight forward answer, I’ve rambled a bit so there’s even a cut😅)

First off, I think we should consider Frida’s mistakes as two separate things: one would be lashing out at Hilda and David, and the second one would be joining the Marra. It’s clear that they’re both connected and that one led to the other, but their orders of magnitude are so different that I think it wouldn’t be appropriate to consider them the same mistake.

So let’s begin by her lashing out. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that the argument scene was right after they fought a ghost. Taking that into consideration, I can understand why she lashed out. She was feeling scared after a life threatening situation, and that plus the emotional stress that she was going through, with questioning everything she’d ever thought she was, made her burst. But even though it was understandable, it wasn’t justifiable, specially since she told Hilda some things that didn’t even have to do with the ghost situation.

And stopping to think about it, it did sort of bother me that this happened, and then Hilda and David after long seemed to have forgotten it. In the Nisse episode, they’re worried about Frida missing classes and sparrow scouts meetings, and so they simply go to her house and... act completely normal. It is normal for people to be worried when they know someone they care about is going through a rough patch in life and it stops them from leaving their house. I mean, it’s a symptom of a few mental illnesses, even. But the fact that they just went to her house, no questions asked, and acted as if nothing had happened just didn’t sit well with me. Especially because it would have been a simple matter to solve. People lash out with some frequency, it’s nothing out of this world. If Frida had just apologized and explained why she had said what she did, things would have been fine, somewhat. But she didn’t really, and things only got worse.

And that takes us to the Marra issue. Not only did Frida all but discard her old friendships without amuch of a reason, she also looked for friendship somewhere else. But let’s think about it, though. Frida isn’t going to school. Frida hasn’t been leaving her house, we know this. So how could she have met Kelly? This whole situation gives me the feeling that somehow the Marra know when someone is vulnerable, and that Frida was manipulated to become Kelly’s friend.

Sounds reasonable, right?

But the thing is that Kelly isn’t just some mean girl that Frida wants to impress (probably because when you’re young you think teenagers are cool for some reason). Kelly is a marra and Frida knew that.

In the end of The Nisse, we see Frida around the campfire, feeding off of nightmares herself, and in the beginning of The Black Hound, we see Kelly throwing Frida forward saying “last to join, first to get eaten”. These two occasions make it clear that Frida didn’t only befriend her, she joined the Marra, even though it seemed like she was at some sort of apprenticeship stage still. And that’s something I can’t wrap my mind around.

This isn’t lashing out in the heat of the moment. She had time to form a “bond” with Kelly, and I’m assuming that she didn’t only learn that she was a Marra after Kelly brought her to the forest. I mean, if she’d just dragged Frida to the campfire and said “surprise, I’m a nightmare spirit and I’m recruiting you!” she’d definitely try and get away, because she’d be scared! So there was some time for her to get used to that idea, not only that Kelly was a Marra, but also that they wanted her to be one as well.

I could argue that Kelly groomed Frida to accept, and it’s a factor that we definitely should keep in mind; grooming is not something to be taken lightly. But after what we see in The Nightmare Spirit? I’m sorry to say this, but Frida should have known better. She saw those spirits torturing her best friends. She had already seen what they were. And I can’t get it in my head that she simply ignored that! That could have been some sort of revenge against them, but it wasn’t, because there seems to be no more resentment from Frida’s side after her blow up in The Ghost. So something that could easily have been vengeance (even though Hilda and David did nothing wrong) was actually just what she chose? Probably manipulated but otherwise unprompted?

And now we get to her “redemption arc”. Let’s take a look, shall we?

This scene happened right after they ran away from the hound. Frida offers to help him, and this is what she says while doing it:

“You were right, you know? About my new, so called, friends.”

This quote actually made me realize something. I could be wrong, but has Frida, at any point in the series, said that David was right? Specially while saying that she was wrong? We see her look remorseful in The Sparrow Scouts, but I don’t think we’ve ever heard her saying that she was wrong before, and I think it was probably very hard for her to say it. Next, she says:

“I’m sorry, I’ve been acting like an idiot.”

And to her credit, she really does look sorry.

For the next few minutes of this episode, there are other instances where she tries to take back what she’s said and done. When Hilda is with her by her door, she says she trusts her and comes up with a plan to help her get a badge. When she is collecting Kelly’s garage sale stuff, she tells him to keep her plushie, because “it’s never a good idea to throw away your real friends”. And while I loved those scenes (and that last one was quite the shade she threw at Kelly, ngl), I’m not at all sure that this serves as a redemption arc (amen, after eleven paragraphs I finally answered the question!)

If all of that had been said before her joining the Marra, I would have thought it perfect. Like you said, anon, she’s a kid, it’s understandable that she doesn’t have a good enough grip over her emotions not to lash out in stressful situations. But this was all done after a more complex and problematic action on her part.

So what would have been a good redemption arc? Well... I don’t think she’ll be completely redempted before she does something to earn their friendship back, instead of just saying apologizing. It would be super cool to have her actually, idk, “resist temptation” for her friends. Maybe if the marra came back and a tried to manipulate her into joining them again, and she refused, that would be a nice way to tie her redemption arc.

Since what you asked was an opinion and not an AU, let’s get back to it. I think it was really easy to have Frida just deliver a few meaningful lines and try to help Hilda earn a badge (though I think she would have done that regardless of trying to apologize, and so would any good friend) and write her off as redempted. But that really didn’t work completely, because it’s easy to be kind and nice when the problem has already passed. How will Frida react when their friendship goes through another tough situation? Will she lash out again or has she learned from her mistakes? We don’t know, because at no point was it shown that she learned.

And now we get to how I feel about it from a storytelling point of view. This redemption is what had been building up since episode 9, and since the Vittra episode we were shown that Frida needed a cold reality shower. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but if she didn’t realize that she couldn’t be perfect, and that putting her attempts at perfection above her friends was an awful choice, she would only have problems later in life.

What I mean is, with so much build up to this arc, and so much significance to it, it’s disappointing that we had what, half an episode for it? If only the time had been taken to put Frida in a situation where she proved that what she went through made her learn, but no, they didn’t take the time. Which is a shame, because seeing Frida’s character development is always delightful to me.

Summing it up: Frida’s lashing out made sense to me and it was a somewhat easy matter to solve. However if there’s no more said about this topic in season 2, her redemption arc will have been, in my eyes, rushed and incomplete, because nothing was done to show that Frida actually learned. It’s a shame that they didn’t dedicate more time to expanding on that arc, because it was a story that was due to being developed ever since the first episodes.

Thank you for this ask, anon! This was very fun to think about and write, and I’m happy to know I come across as cool :D

[jaehyunspeachparty]

Daddy Jaehyun

i.ix.

(little bit smut, little bit angst)

From time to time you and Jaehyun argue. Some fights are simple and soft. But some last days...

day 1

It was late in the evening. The whole apartment was quiet and only light from the bedroom still shone. You were sitting on Jaehyun, your hands were clawing in his bare skin and you are moving your hips up and down. You moan softly and try to find the perfect point. This whole pregnancy made you horny and you would like to climb on Jaehyun every second. But when you looked to Jaehyun, he was mentally absent. His eyes were empty and his hands were just beside him. You try to do your best, try to ride him faster, but he did not react.

"Everything okay?" You stop your movements and look down at him worried.

"Yes continue." He puts his hands on your thighs, but kept looking past you. You're trying to ride him again to fulfill your lust, but that did not make you any fun either.

"Forget it." You sigh annoyed and get off him. You put on your sweatpants and lie down to the side. Jaehyun did not react and you thought he didn’t find you attractive anymore with your big belly.

day 2

"Daddy, what are you drinking?" The next day Jaehyun was still in thoughts. His daughter Miga was sitting next to him and noticed that too - of course in her own way.

Jaehyun did not respond to her question and kept looking into the void. You start to worry a little bit, but you were still angry about last night.

"Daddy may I drink it?" Miga points to the cup of coffee. Jaehyun did not react again and slowly you became even more angry.

"Hey, can you at least answer your daughter?" Your tone was sharp, so you waked Jaehyun out of his thoughts. But he was still siting half-present there.

"No you can not drink this." His voice was very cold and you were already shocked how he talked to your daughter. Miga also noticed his sudden coldness and began to cry. You pick her up and hug her.

"Hey, I'll make you a cocoa." Miga nodded while her little tears rolled down her cheeks. Jaehyun got up and left the apartment. You did not see him again that day.

day 3

It was the third day Jaehyun had been away all day. He did not talk to you and came home only to sleep. Tonight you could not sleep again because your baby was kicking wildly in you. You had read on the internet that the babies are being swung at day with your movement. That’s why they become active when you lie, because they are now awake. You try a little walk through the apartment, so that the little boy falls asleep in your belly again. It was 2 AM and Jaehyun was still not there. But suddenly you hear someone unlocking the door. Jaehyun finally came home and he looked surprised that you were standing in front of him.

"Why are you still awake?" He took off his bag and took off his shoes.

"I'm glad to see you again too." You could not hold back this cynical statement. But when you realize that your child kicked around wildly, you start to move up and down again. Jaehyun ignored you, did not even kiss you and made his way to the bedroom.

"Can you finally tell me what's going on?" So many scenarios went through your head. In the end, you were even scared that he would leave you or not love you anymore.

"Y/N, I just want to sleep." He runs his hand through his hair and lets out a deep sigh. But you can not stand this situation anymore, that was all too much for you.

"Jaehyun, please tell me what's going on. I beg you!“ Tears rolled down your cheeks because you were so helpless at the moment.

"They want to make a new album with NCT U and they don’t know yet if they include me. I'm working my ass off so I can be a part of this project. So have some understanding.“ His tone was sharp and you were really shocked. It was still about the same topic. He had mentioned it once, but you did not elaborate on it.

"A little bit of understanding, are you serious? Let's go through it, theoretically, when will you make your comeback? In three months? Jaehyun! In three months, I'll give birth to our second child and I don’t want you to leave me in this time. I need you, Miga needs you! You wanted a second child, you should have thought it over first.“ You're be in a rage because you could not believe what you're hearing. Of course you wanted to support him, but not at this time.

"You know what? That’s why I did not tell you this. " Jaehyun sighs and opens the door to the bedroom. But you run in front of him and take his bedding.

"You can sleep on the couch." You push his blanket and pillow into his hand and send him out of the room.

day 4

Miga was ill that day. She had a fever and could barely swallow. The pediatrician had prescribed something for her, but she still suffered a lot. You wrote Jaehyun several times that his daughter was ill, but he did not respond.

Miga slept in your bed this night. She woke up over and over again, because of the sore throat and you then watched her favorite children's tv-show. It was 3 AM and Miga has just fallen asleep again. Her little head lay on your stomach until you realize that the little boy in you started to kick wildly. You gently put your daughter on Jaehyun's side of the bed and you try to close your eyes a little when you suddenly hear the door open. You get up and look into the kitchen, where Jaehyun is trying to fill a glass of water.

"You're drunk?" You look shocked at your husband, who could hardly stand upright. He leaned against the kitchen counter and drank the water in one go.

"Jaehyun, what's going on lately?" You were really desperate, because the last few days have burdened you a lot. Not a second passed without you thinking about Jaehyun.

"You know what's going on", he babbled and sat down on the couch, where you had his bedding again prepared.

"It's just like that, you have a family now and you're not an idol anymore. Just deal with it." You were so mad at him, but at the same time you wanted him back. You didn’t want to sleep without him anymore.

"Deal with it?" Apparently, your statement had made him even more angry. "You have no idea how it is, I've worked all the time to be a musician and you don’t know what it's like giving something up." You look stunned at Jaehyun, you could not believe what he just said.

"Jaehyun, I gave up my whole life for you and the family. When I got pregnant with Miga, I was about to become a partner of the event company where I was working for, but I wanted to be with you. And I never wanted to marry an idol and be in public, and now we can not have a normal day in Seoul where we are not photographed. Jaehyun I gave up my privacy for you I decided to give up my carrier to our family, but I'm not complaining. So think about what you're saying next time." You crunch your teeth and rush into the bedroom angrily. You close the door and went to bed to Miga.

day 5

The day seemed endless today. Miga’s health didn’t get better. She lay crying like baby in your arms, as she still could not swallow without pain.

"Mommy it hurts so much." Her face was red and more tears rolled down her cheeks. You wanted so much to take away the pain, but you were helpless. The pediatrician said it could last a few days. You look at the little Shiba Inu puppy, which Jaehyun and Miga found two weeks ago, who still had no name. He was laying loyal next to Miga.

You're humming a song for your daughter and hoping you could soothe her a little bit. The medicine you gave her earlier may work now and she slowly closed her eyes. Now tears ran down your face and the little puppy snuggled up against you. You had to smile, because it was really cute. But there was still so much sadness in you. You just wanted Jaehyun back, as he was a few days ago. You hear the door open again, only this time you were so surprised that he came home so early. It was 2 pm and this was pretty early for Jaehyun.

You did not know how to react, so you just stuck with Miga. You hear how he put down everything and how the steps came closer to you. He knelt in front of you and stroked Miga's face.

"Did she just fall asleep?" His voice was suddenly very gentle and he seemed much calmer than before. You nod and Jaehyun lifted Miga up. He carried her to the nursery, put her in her bed and then came back to you.

"I'm an idiot." He sits next to you and drove threw his hair. You were quite surprised by his statement, but you let him talking.

"I really wanted to be part of the album. I totally forgot about you, Miga and our son. And what I said yesterday ..." He sighs and you see the regret in him. "I am so grateful to you that you are there for our children and still let me be a musician. I don’t deserve you. " He sadly lowers his head and you see that he had seen his mistake.

"Don’t say that! We both deserve us! I know it's not easy for you, I don’t want to stop you from making music, but the timing is just not good." You take his hand and look at him sadly. You were also sorry that he had to make compromises, but in the first place were now your children.

"I know, that's why I announced today in the meeting that I will not participate." He looks up and stares at you. You were really surprised, you did not think he would do that.

"What really?" He nods and answers your question. You look at him stunned, but at the same time a stone fell from your heart.

"Y/N I love you, you are the most important to me." He took his hand, put it on your cheek and kissed you.

Daddy Jaehyun Masterlist

[daisylincs]

To round off my 2021 completion of my incredibly late Trick or Treats, the lovely @the-astro-ambassadors​ won a Treat from me on Treat Day and asked me to spotlight - and this is the particularly lovely part, haha - whatever I wanted. And after considering it for a bit, I decided that what I want to highlight for all you amazing people who follow me and my craziness is none other than my 100 Followers Celebration.

And, ahem, I know that it’s a slightly odd time to do it, given that I currently have... uh... well let’s just say closer to three hundred than one hundred followers (😱😱😱😍😍😍😭 I love you all SO MUCH, oh my goodness!!!!) Anyway, yes, as you can probably tell from the fact that... well the fact that it’s FEBRUARY 2021 and I am finishing a Trick or Treat challenge, I am late for everything. And this celebration, of course, is no different.

Perhaps a good place to start would be to explain what the celebration was all about? Well, luckily, that one’s pretty simple. I put out the gushy posts (and, honestly, I still get that EXACT same feeling whenever I look at my follows page 🥺💜 you are all the BEST, ahhhh!!!) 

... Oh my gosh, I’m just going to keep going off topic here about how much I love you all, aren’t I? Ahem, MAN, I need to focus. So, here’s the idea: every time I’m hit by a wave of love, I’m just going to put three lemons in parentheses, and you guys will know they mean “I ADORE YOU SO MUCH, I am so touched flattered stunned surprised moved and insanely happy by your follows/care, and right back to you’re the best people on the planet.” Cool? Cool 🤣🤣🤗

So, to try this again, third time lucky - I put out the gushy posts about having 100 followers (🍋🍋🍋) and explained how I’d like to give something back to YOU (because, guess what, 🍋🍋🍋!) So I set up three separate series, called Danny Boy & Quake, Sky’s the Limit, and Spider-Dorks, and asked you guys to send in prompts for what you’d like to see. 

Now, each of the above was aimed at a different section of my followers (🍋🍋🍋). Danny Boy & Quake, for example, is for those of you who are of the Dousy persuasion, and, like me, absolutely loved AoS season 7 and wish the show wasn’t over. So for this series, I’m taking Daisy and Sousa, and basically just... exploring where they go from where canon left us! The first fic, for example, picks up right before the One Year Later time-skip, with Sousa and Kora talking about Daisy and their relationships with her while she’s recovering post-final fight in the healing pod. Then we transition on to Daisy and Sousa bonding with Alya, Fitz, Jemma, and so on... teasing each other about ill-advised 50s haircut choices... and even ending up in the bottom of an ocean as a Fitzsimmons parallel once! 

Basically, it’s about Dousy, and the life they might have post-canon - starting their relationship properly, and the adventures they could have, and just... a SHIELD-crazy, but love-rich journey for them both. 

Next up is Sky’s the Limit, my personal favourite, and, as you may have guessed given that I’m, well, me xD, it’s Staticquake. This one is set in a post-season 2 AU where, a) Jemma never got eaten by the Monolith, and b) Lincoln joined SHIELD as Daisy’s first Secret Warrior. Lash is not a thing, and neither is the ATCU, it’s just... the SHIELD family, with some bonus sweet-babies Staticquake, being themselves, and getting to have that “what if it was all the SHIELD characters but with no life-threatening situations, just like them going shopping at Target, having karaoke nights, binge-watching shows together, and being a family in general” AU situation that the cast and fandom are always saying they’d like so much. 

The first ficlet, for example, is about Lincoln consoling Daisy post-her mom’s death and dad’s mind-wiping, and being the first person she tells about her decision to change her name. From there, we go on to Daisy teasing Fitzsimmons after their successful date, that they actually get to go on, fjslkfjdfljd. After that, we transition into full prank war mode with the whole team, and, of course, an alternate Staticquake get-together... oh, it’s going to be SO FUN. 😍

Last but definitely not least is Spider-Dorks, the series I’m writing for the Spideychelle section of my followers (🍋🍋🍋). It, too, is set in an everything-is-canon-up-until-I-say-to-keep-things-happy AU - this one follows everything that canonically happened right up to and through Spider-Man: Homecoming, but cuts off right after that. And instead of Infinity War, we now get... Peter and MJ being oblivious idiots, Ned shaking his head at them both and also shipping them really hard, and, of course, the three of them getting into all kinds of shenanigans together. 

The first ficlet, to give you an idea, is about MJ in her role as AcaDec captain confronting Peter about always missing practice, and basically being like, you can skip it if you want, just know that I’m coming to your place to quiz your ass off when you are home. And because she’s MJ, she also casually drops the bomb of “oh, and I know you’re Spider-Man...” Of course, a firm friendship develops from there, and the next thing you know, MJ and Ned are testing out Peter’s old webshooters, she’s meeting Natasha, and, because of course, Ned’s doing his very best to set up these two oblivious idiots... Oh, yes, I love this one 😝😍

Now, at this point, you may be thinking, well, gosh, look how organised she is, she’s already gotten all the fics written! or something along those lines, but, uh. While I have invested a lot of time in the planning of these series, nothing has actually been written yet, which... is why I’m here today xD. This is going to be one of my biggest projects for 2021 - writing, posting and finishing these three series. Right after I finish my (hey look, also late!!) agentsofchallenges Fluff Bingo, and try to keep up with my birthday fic writing. 

... andddd this turned into a spotlight of, hey look it’s Lily’s 2021 schedule! Oh gosh, sorry, I’m incorrigible ��� But the point of this entire thing is, I’m throwing a spotlight on these three series today so that anyone who’s interested can know that I am actively working on them as of this year, and if you keep a watch on my blog (and, hey, I would not complain to the occasional encouraging/yelling ask in my inbox 😝) then yes, you will see these series before the end of the year. Hopefully. Definitely!!! 

Thank you SO much for playing in my Trick or Treat all those months ago, Heather, and late or no, crazy or no, I hope you enjoyed this answer/treat! Who knows - maybe I’ll even see you in one of these series :D 

And to everyone who read this: ALL THE LEMONS TO YOUUUUU, all of them, I genuinely and absolutely adore you. And am also ridiculously excited to share these series with you guys. AHHHHH. You really are the BEST!!! 😍🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

[bubbyleh]

I See La Vie en Rose - Chapter 7

cw for mentions of past character death and limb loss (not explicit)

Chapter 7: Hitch a Ride

Tommy: Hey this is gonna sound weird but Tommy: Do you want to meet my nephew?

Darnold ♡: You have a nephew?

Tommy: Not like. Biologically. Tommy: You’ve met Gordon and Benrey! He’s their kid, his name is Joshua.

Darnold ♡: Oh! Darnold ♡: I didn’t realize they were together!

Tommy: Yeah, they have been for a while. Tommy: But, uh… Tommy: I can’t really get into it, but things have been tense lately? And it’s mainly centering around Gordon :( Tommy: Everything’s fine! But Tommy: I kinda wanna take Joshua out for a day, you know? Tommy: And I’m asking you to come with

Darnold ♡: Of course! Darnold ♡: I heard the museum has free admissions for kids tomorrow. Do you think that’s a good idea?

☆○☆○☆

Tommy: Benrey?

Benrey!!!: oh hey Benrey!!!: ur awake Benrey!!!: why

Tommy: Why are you awake? :(

Benrey!!!: cant sleep

Tommy: Is it Gordon?

Benrey!!!: yeah hes Benrey!!!: i dont know Benrey!!!: why are you texting me? u can come over?

Tommy: I’m kind of comfy in bed right now Tommy: And it’s late Tommy: And Tommy: Is it fair to say I don’t want to? :(

Benrey!!!: oh more than fair

Tommy: But I want to ask you something Tommy: I was talking with Darnold Tommy: NOTHING SPECIFIC! Tommy: Trust me. Tommy: But he suggested, and I agree, that we could maybe take Joshua to the museum tomorrow?

Benrey!!!: i dont know man Benrey!!!: i feel like feetman would yell at me if i let joshy head down now Benrey!!!: if he yells at all Benrey!!!: hes just been so quiet lately Benrey!!!: i hate this

Tommy: I really wish you’d talk to us, Benrey. Tommy: I hate to say it, but Tommy: Maybe we could have avoided this :(

Benrey!!!: … Benrey!!!: maybe

Tommy: I think getting out will do Joshua some good, though? Tommy: We can have a fun day! Tommy: It’s just that Tommy: All this stuff! Gordon not acting like himself! Whatever’s going on with you Tommy: He’s in the same house as that Tommy: So I think NOT being in the same house will help?

Benrey!!!: wait

Tommy: What?

Benrey!!!: gordon not Benrey!!!: i think u have a point Benrey!!!: about a few things Benrey!!!: yeah u can take joshy down tomorrow Benrey!!!: ill make sure gordon agrees just Benrey!!!: dont come back until i tell you okay? Benrey!!!: i think i can fix this

Tommy: Yeah?

Benrey!!!: yeah Benrey!!!: make sure joshy gets something at the gift shop Benrey!!!: get something for me too?

☆○☆○☆

The next day is overcast, but Tommy’s not sure that it’ll be rainy by the time they leave. Still, he has Joshua grab his jacket before they leave, just in case. Not that it’s actually possible for either of them to catch a cold, but getting soaked isn’t fun!

“Re-remember Joshua,” Tommy says as they approach the museum. “Darnold is a friend, but the- the rules still apply!”

Toomy feels Joshua nod into his back, which is a good enough response when you’re giving someone a piggyback ride. Joshua loves asking Tommy for piggyback rides, though it’s more a result of Tommy being the tallest than any special uncle privileges.

“Is, um,” Joshua asks. “Is this the guy my dad says is your special friend?”

Tommy holds back a laugh. With everything happening, he hasn’t actually gotten a chance to share his updated relationship status with everyone. “What are- what are your dads telling you?”

Joshua, being three years old, caves in immediately. “Um! They say that there’s a guy you really like, and you want to kiss him and marry him someday!”

“Marry!?” Tommy exclaims. “I mean, I-I like him and all, but marriage is a… it’s a little ways off right now.”

Pouting, Josh swings his legs. “But I wanna go to a wedding! I wanna go to a party after a wedding!”

“Weddings are mostly boring, actually. I was- I was at your dads’.” Tommy says. “Hey, climb on my shoulders. Try to- to find Darnold for me.”

While Joshua does comply, he complains as he crawls up. “I don’t know what he looks like!”

Tommy sighs, unlocking his phone and handing it up to Joshua. “Look through the gallery, he’s- he’s in there.”

There’s a moment of silence and Joshua navigates through Tommy’s phone. “Woah!” he shouts. “Why do you have so many pictures of him?!”

“He’s my boyfriend, I- I like having pictures of him,” Tommy explains. Joshua blows a raspberry down at him.

A hand tugs as Tommy’s sleeve from behind, and after turning his head, there’s Darnold. “Hey-” he starts, but is cut off when Tommy places a finger over his own lips.

“Do you, uh… do you see anything u-up there?” Tommy asks, and though he’s speaking to Joshua, he’s looking right at Darnold.

Joshua sighs. “Uncle Tommy, I don’t think he’s here.” He presses his face into Tommy’s propeller cap. “I guess we just have to go into the museum without him.”

“Oh, but I really- I really like him!” Tommy pretends to whine, and Darnold covers his smile with a hand. “Try looking a little bit lower? He’s kinda short.”

That earns him a jab from Darnold’s elbow, which he wasn’t exactly undeserving of. However, Joshua feels the jolt, and their little game is done.

“L-look Josh! There he is!” Tommy acts surprised. He lifts Josh off his shoulders and places him on the ground.

“Hey there, Joshua!” Darnold finally gets to greet them. “I’m Darnold. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” He offers his hand mostly as a joke, but Joshua does end up taking it and giving his best attempt at a handshake, albeit appearing confused the whole time.

“Hi,” Joshua manages. “Uh. I don’t really hear about you.”

“No?” Darnold chokes back a laugh. “Does, uh… does Tommy not talk about me?”

Joshua shakes his head. “No, he talks about you with the grownups. We talk about dogs! And cowboys!”

“Dogs and cowboys?” Darnold looks up at Tommy, smirking.

“He’s three,” Tommy defends himself. “There’s not a lot of- of topics to cover.”

☆○☆○☆

After paying their admission (Tommy insisted on paying for Darnold’s, after all, being a god allows one access to a healthy sum of money), Tommy swipes a pamphlet and begins to look through the museum’s different exhibits. They’re stopped for a moment, because Joshua’s shoe was untied and he wanted to show Darnold that he learned how to tie it last week, but his hands are so small and it is so difficult. Anatomy, no. Dinosaurs, definitely. He judges them, one by one, until a specific exhibit catches his eye.

“Hey Joshua, my- I lost the ability to read.” Tommy places the pamphlet in front of him and points to a specific line. “Can you tell me what that says?”

Forgetting about his shoe, Joshua squints at the paper. Ugh, he might be taking after Gordon in the eyesight department. How are you supposed to get a child god with no actual birth certificate prescription glasses?

“T… th… the w…” Joshua sounds out. “The wil...d… we… st? The wild west?” His eyes light up immediately. “Cowboys!? They have cowboys!?”

“A cowboy exhibit?” Darnold leans over to check out the pamphlet. “Huh, would you look at that.”

“Are we- are we heading there first?” Tommy addresses the other two.

“Yeah!” Joshua throws his arms in the air and jumps off the bench. He takes off in a random direction. “Cowboys! Cowboys! Cowb-”

“Wait, Joshua! Your shoelace!”

Smack!

☆○☆○☆

The moment they step into the Wild West exhibit, Joshua stops sniffling and rubbing his red cheek, instead excitedly wiggling out of Tommy’s arms, marvelling at the presentations around him as if it were a candy store. Realizing that he’ll be

murdered

if he doesn’t capture this moment, Tommy pulls out his phone.

“So,” Darnold asks. “What’s with the cowboy thing?”

Tommy chuckles. “It was- Benrey showed him Toy Story 2, as a joke. He- he really liked it, kinda went from there.”

“Not Toy Story 1?”

“Joshua has never seen Toy Story 1.” Tommy snaps a few photos of Josh, making a mental note to send them to everyone later.

Tommy and Darnold end up mostly dragged along by Joshua, who constantly runs ahead and then doubles back to get them to read a placard for him. Josh seems to take a liking to Darnold, which Tommy is thrilled to see. Occasionally, Tommy will reach to hold hands with Darnold, only to find that Joshua has beaten him to it.

If it wasn’t so cute, Tommy would be a little angry.

“Look! Look!” Joshua shouts and points. “Real cowboys! Real pictures of real cowboys!”

“Heh,” Darnold remarks, nodding towards one of the black and white photos. “That one kind of looks like your dad, Joshy.”

Tommy is frozen.

Joshua grabs onto Darnold’s shirt. “Lift me! I wanna see!” Darnold complies, and when he lays eyes on the portrait, Joshua gasps. “That- that looks just like Daddy!”

The man in the photograph has the same chin, the same cheeks, same nose. But he’s so different too. His hair isn’t pulled back into a ponytail, but rather falls down around his shoulders. One of his hands isn’t ghostly and transparent, instead something flesh and whole. He’s smiling, and Tommy can’t remember the last time he saw that smile genuinely.

“Let’s see here.” Darnold reads the plaque underneath. “The Free Man, date unknown. The Free Man spent his days hunting down violent offenders in the west for private individuals. He disappeared, and his fate remains unknown.”

Not unknown. Tommy gulps.

That doesn’t just look like Gordon. That is Gordon.

It’s easy to forget. Gordon’s been around for two and a half centuries at this point, and Tommy didn’t know him before that. He doesn’t know the man in the photograph, who let his hair down and laughed and still had two hands. Who lived and had a beating heart. Who was betrayed and killed in a cave in the desert.

Tommy doesn’t like to think about the fact that Gordon was mortal once, and how he got to where he is.

He looks away. Tommy turns his head a full ninety degrees to the right, because he can’t look at this right now. He’s looking at another display, one with a small wagon, a plastic horse, and a skeleton standing upright. It’s nice, probably about trade, or ranchers, or-

Hang on a second.

“Maybe it’s an ancestor of yours or something?” Darnold theorizes. “What do you think, Tommy?”

Why is there a skeleton there?

“Uncle Tommy?”

[yehetting]

Loco & Jay Park - Reaction

kanekilover23 requested: “Hello, can I request a reaction pf Loco and Jay Park when the reader is a youtuber and does the breakup prank on them. Thank you.”

omg haha sorry its so late, here ya go love!

Loco:

He would love having a s/o as a youtuber! Always making fun videos, going to new places recommended by your subscribers. The whole experience was something he never knew he would love so much. That’s until prank season trends came around, he didn’t know that was a thing so it kind of made it easier to get him so good and easily. unfortunately the main trend was fake breaking up with their s/o. You set up different cameras around the living room, to try and get different angles. You had a script ready and everything. Once he came home you pretended to be annoyed already and acted like you where editing another video. He came up and tried to rub your shoulders to help you relax but you shrugged him off telling him to leave you alone. He backed off and went to the room and put his stuff away. When he came back you had added fake tears and pretended like you where crying over “losing all your work”, he ran over to see what was wrong and you said what happened. He tried to hold you but you pushed him off, which made him a little upset. “its okay you can record it again or think of another topic.” he tried to reason. “I cant just ‘record it again’ it was one of my biggest projects I've been working on it for weeks!” You shot back trying not to really cry seeing his face. “Well, I'm sorry, I know how that feels, what can i do to help?” he asked genuinely trying to help. “Nothing, i cant do anything this is something I've been so passionate about and now its gone and all you said was i can record it over or think of a new topic, you knew how much this meant to me and your literally telling me right now that it can just be rerecorded? I cant believe this.” You tried to be as convincing as possible but it was starting to get hard seeing how upset he was actually getting. “I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to make you fell better..” he said standing up this time and looking down at you. “Are you serious? You are aren't you. I cant do this.” you said standing and starting to walk to the door. “Do what? Where are you going?” he asked realizing you where walking to the front door. “I'm leaving, ill be back in a few days to get my things, you just told me you where trying to make me feel better by putting down all my hard work. I cant be with someone like that I'm sorry.” you put on your shoes and started to open the door when you heard a sniffle. You instantly regretted all of it and just stood there. You turned to see him crying staring at his feet. You felt like shit right then. You had no idea how to tell him it was prank, this was a bad idea. “I'm so sorry....” you whispered real tears coming out. “For what?” he asked so lost at this point. “This was supposed to be a break up prank but I let it get out of hand I'm so so fucking sorry...” You broke and started to cry harder. “What? are you serious?” he asked leaning back and looking at you hard. You just nodded. You pointed at the cameras around the living room. He looked at them all/ in shock. You explained the whole idea and how it got too far when you started to see him cry and how you feel like such an ass. “I really don't expect you to forgive me for this, I'm just really sorry. You said deleting all the footage off the cameras. “no yeah I'm really pissed off right now, ill get over it just please let me be for a little bit, ill come to you when I'm fine.” you nodded and he went into the home gym. He came out sweaty and red from being in there. “hey, so I thought about it and I'm okay with it now, it was a good prank but I wish this wasn't the trend right now. I forgive you.” he said and you smiled. “but to seal the deal you have to give me a hug right now.” he said smiling and holding his arms out for you. You made a gagging face because he was all sweaty but you manned up and gave him a hug. It felt nice despite the sweat. He kissed your cheek. “i love you but don't do that to me every again please. I hated the thought of you leaving me.” he said pain still in his voice. “I wont I promise.” you said kissing him. 

Jay:

He didn't care for the whole youtuber thing like loco did, He did however support anything you did and wanted to help anytime you asked. Needed a kick ass intro and outro song, he was on it and sold you the rights, for kisses, so whenever someone uses it they get copyright claimed. you liked being on the other side of that for a change. He helped with editing sometimes when you're too tired. Having him help you when you needed had its downsides though. He would opt out of the Boyfriend tags trends, because they would “tarnish his bad boy rep” *throws up dumb gang signs* You would laugh it off but that meant you had to do something else and endure the drop in views. You wanted to get back at him for some of it an guess what it was? Break Up prank trend time! Same as loco you set up cams all over his office when he went out to get you some snacks for the movie date you had planned. One was by his computer, his couch behind him and one was placed carefully in-between two of his sound systems. You sat in the living room trying to look pissed off. You seemed pretty convincing because once he stepped into the room he asked what was wrong. You lied and said you saw his emails while cleaning up and saw that he was expected to work tonight. He said that he didn't see it but that he could most likely get out of it. You threw your hands up and followed him to his office where he went to look at the fake email you got his manager to send for you. “I swear its like every time we’re supposed to have alone time you have to work.” you said behind him. He turned and looked at you. “Yeah but, i usually get out of it for us.” he replied still looking at you. “can you this time? you just got off tour! You cant possibly have work already?” you asked pretending to get more annoyed. “I shouldn't ill email him back.” he sat down and started typing away. You riped out your phone and texted his manager about what to do before he hit send on the email. You two sat in silence for a few minutes he tried to reach for your hand a couple times too but you brushed him off. The computer dinged signaling he had a new email. He read it and set his head fell and he sighed. You knew what it said because you basically wrote it. “Seriously?! You're joking right? You just got home!” you got louder. He turned his head to you looking sorry. “I cant help what they do, I'm sorry.” he said trying to reach for you. “I don't care, you just got home this isn't fair to you or me....I don't think I can do this... you work all the time, it feels like i hardly see you.” you said quieter not trying to sound as mean as it did, because you know damn well has always there for you. “I... no I can try to get out of it, Please.. I know its not fair, Its my body their messing with and our relationship.” he got up to move closer but you backed away. “I'm gonna go, ill be at my friends, ill get my stuff in a few days. If I knew this about your company I wouldn't even have said yes to that first date.” Your eyes closed because holy shit you shouldn't have said that. His arm dropped to his side. You backed out of the room and down the hall a little bit. Gaining the courage to go back in. He looked up at you when you came back in. “I.... this was supposed to be a harmless prank but i think I went too far... I'm so sorry jay...” you whispered and let your head hang. You felt warmth and looked up to see him holing you like you would disappear. “what the hell is wrong with you? Please don't ever do something like that again!” he got loud this time pulling away from you. You nodded tears forming. “I promise, Ill delete the footage too.” you said nodding at the cameras. He looked shook, he looked and saw them all. “This was recorded?” he asked. You nodded. “for you channel?” you nodded again. “Please post it! Dude that'll go viral!” Your eyes widened. “What?!” you asked. “I'm serious! If you do you might get scouted for an actress with that amazing acting you did.” he laughed waving at all the cameras. You uploaded it a week later and sure enough it went viral! You got an offer from his company as a commercial actress. 

( I DONT OWN THESE GIFS, CREDIT TO OWNERS )

[eggjorp]

Rivals

A/N: THAT GODDAMNED TONGUE IN THE GIF shfishdfisfhijdfis ok I edited the bulleted scenario that I submitted to @nctdoingthings my lovely best friend instead of doing my homework skksdkjskskjdksjdksjskks

Warning: I swear a whole fucking lot

Idk how long it is but it is pretty fluffy and cute! Enemies to lovers! My no.1 au

Ok so you and Mr Kim Doyoung go to the same school/uni idk bro its your imagination I’m just a guideline okay

Y’all generally smart, he’s not in all your classes, just some

Neither of you are TOP of the class like this ain’t some no.1 in the school rivalry I don’t— bitch I don’t have to motivation to even TRY to be no.1 we gotta make this attainable ok?? Y’all just pretty high up there

He sits the table behind you and gets kinda pissed when you laugh obnoxiously with your friends (this is a personal attack @ myself ok)

You try to get along with him but sometimes he just gives you that Look™ where u can tell he’s judging you and thinking ‘damn she dumb wow ok’ (he’s probably not) (maybe a little)

Eventually you gave up because you got exams and fuck I forgot where I was going with this

Oh yeah so y’all just don’t speak. Like you acknowledge each others presences but you just— don’t speak to each other and give each other distasteful looks, you’re not each other’s cups of tea ok fuck it not everyone’s gonna like u suck it up u lil bitch ok I’ll stop

You go to the library to revise for the exams, only free space is next to him so you plop your butt down n get cracking uno

You get stuck on a question and you try textbooks, you try handouts, you try google, you try everything and you just?? Don’t??? Get it???? So you suck up your damned pride and you tap his shoulder like

“Yo so u see this question that we had for homework yeah I don’t understand it, like at ALL, so would you mind helping me please?”

And he just kinda stares at you for a few seconds because he just didn’t,, expect you to actually uno, talk to him never mind like ACTUALLY ask him for help

So he’s like ‘um sure’ ‘okay yeah so you blah blah blah bc the blah blah and the blah blah?’ And you just stare at him for a few seconds back like ‘um what?’

So he takes a deep breath and turns in his seat so he’s facing you more directly and takes the handout from that lesson and explains the whole thing. It kind of seems like he’s getting pissed at your ??? Faces but you don’t say anything because your grades are too important lol

You fiNALLy understand it and say thanks and then continue working

Then it happens agAIN (another day) excEPT ;))) he’s asking yOU for help

I’m making this up as I go along somebody help me

And you really wanna smirk and be all smug but your like to yourself ‘yn, no you gotta CHILL you don’t wanna piss him off’ and you help him anf all is good

THEN the 2 questions you helped each other in came up in the exam and when you get to class you high five because,, uno,, fun!!

So y’all are on an acquaintance level now, and it’s cool, you don’t really speak much but no more distasteful looks thank GOD

Aight so the library stuff doesn’t happen again because, uno, this ain’t to all the boys I’ve loved before ok

We gonna make it kinda realistic

So both of y’all are ill which sucks since y’all did wanna go to school but whatever so you go to your teacher during lunch to get the handout and catchup

Your teacher is like ‘it’s an easy topic I’m sure you guys will get it but how about you sit down and work through it together and if you have questions ask me, ignore the people on the other side of the room they have detention’ 

Your like aight yeet so you mainly work in silence apart from just checking your answers with each other’s until there’s a question where you both got differing answers so you ask the teacher and they’re like ok let’s go through it on the whiteboard and your and Doyoung’s differing points get him rEally confused 

y’all kinda riled up and angry at each other thinking ‘you’re being such a dickhead’ but at each other, with your eyes, idk fam

So the teacher is tryna work it out and you and Doyoung are lowkey/highkey because the passive aggressiveness ain’t subtle insulting each other it was aLL GOING GOOD UNTIL THIS ONE DAMN QUESTION FFS DOYOUNG WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN IT

then one of the kids in the detention are like ‘oooh lovers quarrel’ and snicker so you turn around like ‘bitch come at me do you wanna fight? Like legit I will fight you right now let’s fucking go I’m not joking let’s fucking gO IM READY SQUARE UP MOTHERFUCKER’ ok but obviously less agressive that’s just me and my 4 fire signs

Doyoung is kinda like “?? Why you so sensitive do you like me or something lol and you just give him the bIGGEST EYEROLL LIKE BITCH NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU PERHAPS I’M STRESSED BECAUSE IM NOT GETTING THE QUESTION RIGHT DON’T FUCKING FLATTER YOURSELF” and he gets kinda embarrassed and the kids in detention are like ‘oooooh bro you better say sorry or she’ll break up w you’

So you roll your eyes agAIN and mumble ‘just when I started thinking you were actually cool but no you became an arrogant dickhead again, fucking wanker’ y’all I’m sorry I swear too much but there’s nothing I can do

Y’all just sit quietly and the teacher’s like ok start of the next lesson I’ll go through it because I need to ask the other teachers but if y’all are done you can go

So you angrily but quietly pack your shit up and go and Doyoung’s eyes follow you but ofc you don’t notice, you’re angry as shit

When you leave he walks after you and goes “hey y/n Im sorry for pissing you off, but seriously it’s not that deep?” and you just,,,

Because this bitch really hit you with the ‘it’s not that deep’ so you just kinda puff your chest out and walk up to him like ‘excuse you? “It’s not that deep” who do you think you are?’ and he’s just staring down at u 

He doesn’t reply, you’re looking him in the eyes but his eyes are a little lower uno ;))) HE’S STARING AT YOUR SOFT LIPS

So you and your filterless mouth decided to say the first thing that pops in your head and go “Kim Doyoung do you like me?” and he fucking snAPS like his eyes widen and he takes 3 steps back

He has the dumbest face like ‘pshh no where’d you get that idea from?’ 

And you smirk you are sOoooooo smug right now because it all cLICKS NOW

He made a joke saying “do you like me or something” because he wanted to see if you would be up for it and kinda gauge how you feel about him

So you’re like “oh my god Kim Doyoung has a crush on the dumb obnoxious girl who sits in front of him”

And he reddens and quietly says ‘no’ because he wants to deny it but bITCH ITS TOO LATE YOU CAUGHT ON

So u smirk (for the 17th time) and say “we shall see, Kim Doyoung”

And you leave and he’s like scARED SHITLESS BC HE HAS N O IDEA WTF YOU’RE GONNA DO

Y’all roll up to class the next day all chill, neither of you say anything but he’s watching youuuuu and you’re very aware of it so you’re thinking hmm maybe I’ll tease him a little it’d be fun so you go up to ask the teacher a question and as you’re walking back, everyone’s got their head down working uno, you wink at him cheekily and it sends him fucking wiLD like he jumps in his seat and the person sitting next to him is like bro you good???

So he just has to play it off like oh yeah I just thought I saw a spider

Meidbddhsid you love playing with kdy bc you’RE in control now

You maKE the library thing happen again (basically you just willingly sit next to him) because you wanna see him flustered again like when you winked because it’s funny but like,, also,, kinda cute? Shdidbdj Maybe you kinda like him too?? Shut up no you dONT (u totally do)

The ppl who sit closest to you guys in class have kinda noticed this weird energy where y’all don’t speak but you make a lOT of eye contact so they might perhaps bring it up Doyoung and he’s like “whAT no I just- she’s annoying so I- And the lesson- the, Yeah.” 

They just ignore him like fuck it whatever it’s his life

After that class he decides to confront you because he’s a little tired of being teased so he pulls you out of the corridor and into another one after class

He says ‘hey look, yes I like you, I think you’re cute and smart and funny and you might not like me back but I need some kind of answer I’ve been waiting for a while for some kind of answer you know’ 

Suddenly you feel kinda bad for teasing him for such a long time so you go ‘ugh Kim Doyoung you big dope I might kinda maybe like u too? But idk yet? Plus you know school is really important and idk if either of us have time for a relationship…’ and he nods ‘yeah I understand and you’re right actually, wanna walk to the bus stop together?’ 

So you do that but you’re both mainly silent, it’s kinda awkward

Next day you take the seat next to him in the library and maybe just maybe your hands touch a little and you end up going to the library together like everyday almost like a study date

You guys don’t speak you just work together quietly next to each other

And then perhaps get some food after

Maybe even watch a movie every now and then

Perhaps kiss a little ;))

You might not have time for a full relationship but what’s wrong with a little fun??

A/N: I might do a little bonus cutesy scene where y’all hold hands in the library and kiss while having a coffee break

Feedback is very much appreciated and welcomed, or even just a reblog💚

Masterlist

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[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 48

Chapter Summary - Alexianna is considering Daniel's words when she receives some mail that shocks her. Luckily Tom, though away, is there via the phone to listen to her and offer advice

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @theoneanna​​

Request if you wish to be tagged

For longer than she cared to admit, Alexianna considered Daniel's comments regarding Oliver.

She could not comprehend how Daniel would welcome the man back into his life after he abandoned them when they needed a father. She thought to her counselling sessions, the ones specifically regarding the male influences and indeed role models in her life, or as was brutally honest, the severe lack of said role models. There was a correlation between her lack of father figure and her subsequent relationship with Jonathan in which she had accepted abusive and negative behaviour from him. It was not the sole reason, which she knew, but it was a notable part of the overall picture.

Tom, on more than one occasion, pointed out that Daniel was simply the polar opposite of her reaction to the situation, and in many ways, also understandable. He more than likely was hoping to make up for the lost relationship with his father during childhood. Both approaches, he stated diplomatically, were completely comprehensible and neither sibling was in any way wrong for their feelings on the matter.

Daniel spoke to her a bit with regards what he and Oliver discussed when they met up, Oliver, now living in York, went to Edinburgh when Daniel was off the ships to talk with his son. Alexianna listened to her brother but never said much on the matter. When Daniel pushed her for an answer as to whether she wished to speak to their father or not, Alexianna would find a way to change the topic of conversation with him and on mentioning Hampstead Hill, she would find a reason to cease speaking altogether.

Lily was no longer having the same issues with Shawn, thankfully, but she was still not overly happy with her daughter's teacher and neither was her teacher pleased with her and it was showing. It left Alexianna in something of a predicament, she wanted Lily to have the best education but she was terrified at what Oliver would expect in return. Then she thought of Tom's offer. In all honesty, of the two, she would be more open to Tom's proposal to pay than her father's as she knew that Tom was offering out of love for Lily and genuine concern for her wellbeing and love, Oliver's motives were anyone's guess as far as she was concerned.

She spoke with her counsellor regarding it in her next session. He delved into it all with her and attempted to assist her in uncovering what was bothering her so greatly in the situation. They both knew her father's lack of being there for her growing up was a pinnacle reason for her wariness to everything, but Mr Barrow also tried to see if there were other reasons for it, noting her anger at her father's remarrying, not because she held any ill against him for finding happiness but for the fact he chose a wife that specifically chose not to have children. She respected that was a personal choice for her stepmother, a term that her therapist used and caused her to shudder such were her preconceived notions of such a title, but it caused her to wonder if her father regretted being a father and made her feel rejected even further by him. It was hurtful enough that Oliver left them and never returned due to not wanting to deal with Marie but the idea he had never wanted children, that made her feel even more rejected by him and of course, behind it all, she worried for Lily.

Tom left for a week to deal with an event he was part of, leaving Alexianna to deal with her concerns, work and Lily, something she was becoming more comfortable and confident in. Even with the increased workload of her job and college course, Alexianna was finding it easier to do everything as a result of her dealing with her past and feeling better in herself as a person. She still had doubts, her scarred arm caused her to feel some self-conscious thoughts but overall, her achievements, her loving relationship with a man that allowed her to be her own person and respected her personal space and expected the same and help to raise Lily meant she was able to grow, both personally and as a mother. She always loved Lily with all of her heart but did not show it as much as she wanted to as she tried to learn how to love herself and express it. Her happier attitude transferred to her interactions with Lily also.

While going home from work on the bus, she looked out the window. Elena, a lovely English language student who needed a few hours work while she completed her course, had become Lily's new minder while Alexianna worked. Tom spent what time he could with her also but there was a need for someone else to pick up the times they could not and Elena was perfect since Rebecca moved to Manchester. She also taught a very eager Lily some Spanish, something Alexianna was delighted about. She spoke French and Latin as well as English and Welsh so she liked her daughter embracing foreign languages.

When she arrived home, she was attacked for hugs in the hallway. “Hey, Princess.”

“Hi Mommy.” Lily cuddled into her as she walked into the kitchen carrying her daughter in her arms. “I had a silly day today.”

“Tell me about it.” She smiled as she said a quick hello to Elena also.

“We went to the park.”

Alexianna knew that already, having signed a consent form for her daughter to be allowed do so. “And what did you see in the park?”

“Ducks.”

“Very exciting.”

“Can I tell Daddy?”

“I will contact him and see if he able to talk.” She smiled, taking out her phone, frowning at the cracked screen, having been in a slight disagree with gravitational pull. She texted Tom and left her phone on the counter as she took out the few groceries she had acquired also before thanking Elena for handing her some post. At first, she scanned them, some junk mail, a “to the occupier” from the council and finally a letter for “The parents of Lily D. Hughes” letter. Alexianna looked at the letter for a moment. It was a thick A4 size one but it was the postmark that gave it away. The stamp of the illustrious girl's school told her who sent it. Opening it, she wondered why it had arrived.

Just as she was about to remove the paperwork from the package, her phone rang.

“Mommy, Daddy is calling.” Lily chirped as Alexianna placed down the letter. She lifted her daughter onto the countertop and answered the phone, placing it to Lily's ear. “Daddy.” She giggled.

“Hello, Princess. You sound very happy.”

“I miss you, Daddy.”

“I miss you terribly too. I wish I was able to give you a big cuddle.” Tom's voice was sincere. “Tell me about your day.”

“We went to the park and we sawed ducks.” She informed him. “And we feeded them, but not bread acause that is not good for them, Daddy and I sawed doggies and they were chasing each other and we had so much fun.” She informed him.

“I am jealous.” Tom declared, earning giggles from Lily. “Are you excited for your birthday next week?”

“Yes.” Lily cheered loudly. “You'll be home, won't you Daddy?”

“I am home in two days, my beautiful girl.” He promised. “So do not fret, I will be there.”

“Yay!”

“Where's your Mum, Princess?”

“She's holding the phone to my ear and making sure that I don't fall from the counter, Daddy.” Lily informed him.

“Okay, Princess, I will send you a big hug and kiss through Baloo and I will just talk to Mummy for a minute, alright?”

"Okay, Daddy. Bye bye, I love you.”

“I love you too, Lily.” His smile was audible through the phone.

Alexianna let Lily off the counter before putting the phone to her ear. “Hey, Tom.”

“Darling, is everything alright?”

“I'm not sure.”

“Talk to me, Lexi. Is it therapy, work?”

“No, I just...I think Lily has just received another prospectus from Hampstead Hill.”

“You think?”

“I was opening it when you called, but yes, I think she has, it looks like one.”

“Open it and see.” Tom listened to the sound of paper moving around then silence. “Lexi?”

“I…”

“Lexi?”

“Dear Ms Hughes, we are delighted that your daughter, Lily Diana Hughes will be joining us in Hampstead Hill at the beginning of her reception year, this coming September. We thank you for choosing our school for your daughter's education and I can assure you, Hampstead Hill will endeavour to bring out the very best in your child. Please find enclosed….Did you do this?” There was no answer. “Tom, did you do this?”

“No... I...no, I had nothing to do with this.” Tom promised, slightly startled by what Alexianna had just read to him. “Do you think Oliver…?”

“Who else could have done it, Tom?” she challenged, her anger increasing. “I am going to kill Daniel.”

“Why?”

“How else would this have happened, Tom? Oliver shouldn't know her name, I...does he have my address?” She asked worriedly, rushing up the stairs to prevent Lily hearing such a conversation, not wanting the little girl to see her stress.

“Alexianna, I don't want to anger you, Darling, but I don't think him having your address requires such panic, he is not as bad as Jonathan.” Tom placated. “If you want nothing to do with him, it's not ideal, but it's not like he can walk up to the front door; you, Elena or I have to let him in, so don't fret, my Darling. Also, remember the school hàve your address, I was in contact with them, remember?”

“But...you gave your address.”

“I gave yours also, they needed it, so he could very well not know it.” He placated. “I think when you have settled slightly, you need to speak to Daniel.” He suggested.

“Yeah, I...I'm not sure about this, Tom. I don't want to owe Oliver for anything...I don't want anything to do with him.”

“We will talk to Daniel, and see what he says, alright?” Tom urged. “But for now, relax.”

“Tom…”

“Lexi, you are annoyed and you and I know that if you talk to Daniel now, you will get angry and you love your brother, you don't want to argue with him.”

“I don't want this. I don't want Oliver to pay for this.”

“Will I send him a reimbursement?” Tom offered.

“No because I don't want anyone paying this money for her.”

“Why not, Darling?”

“Because it's not fair on you, I am not going out with you to fund Lily, this relationship is uneven enough without…”

“Okay, I am going to have to stop you there, Lexi “ Tom stated calmly. “A relationship does not have to be fifty-fifty when one is in a different financial position to another. You give me so much, I cannot put into words my happiness when I am with you, and that little girl. Alexianna, I love you both so intensely and you both give me unconditional love and respect in return and to be honest, I feel unworthy. Your additions to my life have so much more than financial worth.”

��But I don't want money from you, I want you, I want our cuddles, our conversations, our intimacy, that sort of thing.”

“That is why I am so invested in this, Lexi, because you don't want money and other such things. But is why I am so willing to do this too, I want to help Lily achieve everything she can in life.”

Alexianna sighed, uncertain of what to say. She wanted nothing more than to have Lily have the best of everything, as most parents would, but uncertain that she could take it.

[supergenial]

The Byleth Diatribe

clickbait title: if you thought Byleth was creepy, wait until you read this!

Intro

In the past couple months it's really gotten my attention the fact that some people cannot stand looking at images that depict the teacher character from fire emblem three houses (Byleth) with their students in a romantic manner. They arrive at this disgust due to the parallels it traces with real life teachers who take advantage of their students. While I don't share this sensibility, I do think it's an interesting topic to think of so I'd like to explore why these people are correct in their conclusion that Byleth is creepy, but entirely wrong in their logic-path to it.

1) Byleth is just not an actual character

To address the elephant in the room, Byleth is literally a non-character. In a game filled with wonderful dialogue that fully exposes character motivations for a massive cast, it's hard to think of this one silent teacher as a real character that normally exists in that world. Byleth's "character" is purely an afterthought to their role as the Player Avatar. Surely enough in previous installments of the series you had Robin, Corrin and Kris, but their situation was partly different.

Robin and Corrin were proper characters as much as every other character in their game. They held conversations with the other characters, they expressed themselves in regards to the events that happened to them, some would even dare to argue they were better written that some other characters in their respective games if only because their heightened importance to their respective plot lines inevitably helps them have more dialogue, and even a bad writer has to stumble into writing something good eventually which means in some scenes they’re able to overcome the barrier of being bland by design.

Byleth however has none of this. At best they're given 2 or 3 text choices at any given time, and any bipartisan conversation that involves them is more of a soliloquy by the other character, with the player input being largely irrelevant to the flow of the conversation aside from changing the very immediate reaction that follows that same input.

As such, the notion that Byleth is a creepy teacher who's grooming their students to be their personal sex slaves is misconstrued in the fact that Byleth simply has no real motivations, hence no intent. It is equally as valid to assume they could be a straight laced no-nonsense teacher or a deviant who preys on children, because no conjectures can be traced to their personality, as it doesn't exist. We can't deduce what is it that Byleth wants out of life because the avatar has no life and exists purely as a videogame terminal. We don't know what they enjoy outside of the very few things we the players are allowed to do as the character, which is why so much Byleth fanart involves fishing, cooking, or drinking tea, the few hobbies we indulged in while playing as them.

There is however something innately perverse about Byleth, it's just not the fact they're a teacher, but rather the fact they're the player.

2) Player avatars are inherently creepy, and so are dating sims

Fire Emblem is a fantasy game. In Fire Emblem games you will not only find unreal things like dragons and magic, but also straight up impossible things such as kind-hearted rulers that care about protecting and improving the lives of their constituents. The three real main characters in this game all have pure motivations and genuine desire to improve the world (yes... even Edelgard). As such, we can expect the same purity and lack of reality from a hypothetical Byleth that has a personality. It's fair to assume they'd be legitimate teachers with no creepy intentions who, through the vicissitudes of life, end up inadvertently falling in love with their students. In a fantasy land where every "good guy" is pure in nature there is no concern of Byleth grooming Dimitri, or of Edelgard forcing some ill intentioned quid-pro-quo with her right hand strategist whom she is obsessed with, because it's simply fantasy where everyone is nice and pure so things just magically always work out.

There is however an insidious factor lurking over this fantasy land, and that is the player. An omnipotent being who decides who lives, who dies, who gets married to who, and who stays alone because we just don't like them that much. The player can send Ashe to get the last hit on Lonato, just out of morbid curiosity to see what is the special dialogue that they have in that situation. The player can recruit Felix and then have Felix kill Rodrigue in the crimson route, just to see what hilarious quip will the son bark at the father. And of course, the player gets to decide who gets married to the lifeless slab of meat and bones with no emotion that is the Player Avatar. If anything breaks the idea that these characters are well written or realistic, it is the fact that they can all fall in love with someone who cannot communicate with them, all because of the emotions they magically choose to believe the avatar has, or rather, we choose to make them believe it.

In a "set" story like fire emblem echoes or path of radiance, the epilogues have little to no variety because the characters will just be themselves regardless of the player's input. No matter how much you want to see Celica's reaction to Faye getting together with Alm, that is simply not going to happen because their bond is set in stone, it cannot be altered, it is a "set" story. Likewise Nyna in new mystery of the emblem will never, ever fuck Sirius regardless of what she or the player wishes. Three Houses on the other hand is more like a playground than a book, the player will mess with the lives of these characters until they get bored of them, seeing every possible unlikely combination programmed into the game just out of curiosity to see what the characters will say, to squeeze out every last bit of "Content" that the game has until they get bored of it and move on to something else, effectively reducing the characters from "characters" to mere consumables. 

Hence why I can't help but laugh at the notion that Byleth is creepy by nature of being a teacher when they're so much more than a teacher and so much more creepy than a creepy teacher. They're an in-game god (hell, lore-wise they're also a god in every ending except crimson). Byleth can quite literally mind control other characters into loving them as long as they're given enough flowers and tea. Look at Sylvain's C support with Byleth and tell me if it's natural for a guy like him to fall in love like that after saying he wants to murder Byleth (surely enough, it's even creepier for players to fall in love with him because of that support, as Sylvain is an extremely interesting character but only in his other supports).

This is why you see people saying that Felix and Annette are a great couple, or that Marianne and Dimitri are made for each other, but you don’t really see people saying that Byleth’s pairing with x is cute. When two proper characters interact all the way to their A support and fall in love that way, you’ve actually seen their story develop, you can feel happy for them. Pairing Byleth with a proper character fulfills your desire to monopolize that character and get a neat special artwork of them, but has it really been a good story and feel like this is a good conclusion for them? No. (I’d be willing to say Byleth and Dimitri do make a somewhat good couple though, but that point would be much easier to defend if Byleth could actually communicate properly)

It wouldn't matter if Byleth was a 15 year old teacher, or a 17 year old student that's a peer to the classmates, or if all of the classmates were older than Byleth AND teachers instead while Byleth is a student. By the mere nature of the player input and Byleth's lack of character, the pairing is screwed up to begin with. 

What I'm getting at is that pairing Byleth with Catherine or Shamir is equally as fucked up as pairing Byleth with Dimitri (I would argue moreso because come on... Shamir and Catherine are totally girlfriends and you're just squeezing yourself in, have some respect).

In other words Byleth is only creepy because you are creepy. You're playing a game where you can date people who cannot possibly refuse you. Even if you remove that factor, you'd still be playing at making children fuck each other in whatever way you see fit. Something is wrong with you. You're the only impure factor affecting this game.

3) Fire Emblem will always suck

This is my favorite series of games but come on guys, you know fire emblem will always suck if you care about this kinda thing. In fire emblem fates Corrin has a wide variety of about 9 flavors of incest to choose from. In fire emblem awakening Robin can marry an amnesiac woman with head trauma who can't even speak complete sentences and is entirely dependent on him to subsist. The fanbase has grown so twisted they actively wanted Byleth to get married to Alois, a married man with children, and were disappointed when they didn't fuck in that paired ending (though I understand getting upset about the lack of gay supports, but hey that's just yet another way in which fire emblem chooses to suck).

Hell this is the fanbase that considers Berkut and Rinea to be a cute couple, what the actual hell guys. Go ahead and criticize the games but as long as the shipping simulator is included in the series, the games will always be creepy in their very nature, and guess what: the shipping simulator happens to be one of the most popular features and the one that people say it's the best written part of every game, so go figure if they're going to remove that.

ps: if you want a fire emblem with no paired endings, path of radiance has your back, it is my favorite! and if you want to avoid supports altogether, try Radiant Dawn, that's some good stuff.

4) Just for fun: the actual most fucked up ships in the game

-Lysithea with Linhardt, Byleth or Hanneman, or anyone.

When I recruited Lysithea in my first playthrough I didn't know she was a strong unit, instead I simply did it because I saw this sassy lost child wandering the halls and just really didn't want to kill her. I wanted her to live on and see her have a happy epilogue. Imagine my surprise when I reached the epilogues and it turns out she just simply dies shortly after the story if you don't pair her up with anyone. The exact one thing I wanted to avert was having her meet an early death, yet the game simply has her die anyway.

At the end of my deer playthrough I was all set to click on Hilda when I realized, wait a minute, Lysithea is going to die if I do this, right? And that is in fact the case. She can only live by supporting Hanneman, Lindhart or Byleth, and I had not recruited those two. So I click on Lysithea but it's kind of a tainted click isn't it? Not that I dislike her or anything, but once you throw in that additional motivation the scales have been irreversibly tipped in an unpleasant manner. I have effectively been guilted into picking her.

On to a third playthrough. I see Felix has really cute supports with Lysithea, but I can't have them supporting each other because I know she still meets an early death with him. And Lindhart, well his supports aren't bad and he's a great guy but they're certainly not as fun supports as Felix's. Hanneman fortunately doesn't seem interested in that way when you pair him up with Lysithea (not that he has any restraints when it comes to his supports with Dorothea...) so you can still have that as effectively a "solo" end for her in which she lives, but it's still kind of messed up. By giving her the Hanneman ending I'm condemning her to miss out on love for the rest of her life so that she can live on, but isn't love the reason we live on to begin with? Overall, I'd say Lysithea x Lindhart or Byleth is certainly a creepy support in the very nature that you have to do it or else you're a murderer, because you had the power to prevent this death and chose not to.

-Flayn with literally anyone

Imagine if a grown adult man could disguise himself as a high schooler, infiltrated a school and got married to a girl less than half his age. People would hate it, people would riot, Intelligent Systems would be over. But that is Flayn everyone! Fire Emblem is no stranger to the stupid trope of "little girl who's actually hundreds of years old", but I'll argue that Flayn is markedly different from Nowi. Nowi is most definitely a cartoonish fantasy character, who still acts like a little girl despite being hundreds of years old. She's literally bait for pedophile nerds with a flimsy shield in her supposed age, which she and her fans openly flaunt as if it really meant anything when the intent of her character is so transparent.

Flayn on the other hand is a legitimately mature character (as far as maturity goes in this game...) who is pretending to be a high schooler to get hitched with a student, all while hiding her real age entirely on purpose. An actual wolf in sheep's clothing (or dragon in sheep's clothing in this case...). And she can s-support literally every single male student except for Hubert (for story reasons) and Sylvain (for Sylvain reasons). Not only that but she doesn’t support any females other than Manuela, her fellow cougar, and she doesn’t support any of the older men like Hanneman showing she’s only interested in young blood.

But hey everyone! Flayn is just the little meme fish girl trapped in the mcdonalds playplace so we all give her a pass right. Overall though I'd say her creep factor is still significantly lower than Nowi's if only because her design isn't a chore to look at.

-Rhea x Byleth

This is some galaxy brain 5D chess grandmaster type of shit I tell you. Capitalizing on the sickening mommy fetish that's been rising up recently internet the crackhead team of geniuses at intelligent systems decided to pull Joker's Trick on people who are into that kind of thing. First they have her be the oldest non-wrinkled character, then they give her Kikuko Inoue as a seiyuu (famously known for often playing mom roles), then they give players that one scene where Byleth rests on her lap like their kid, and then? Then the game tells you Rhea is the daughter of Byleth. Wait a minute, what the hell? I can't even begin to think this one out because at this point my brain has turned to tofu and I am forever perplexed by this turnaround, hats off to intelligent systems for their ultimate jest.

After fates and this I positively cannot wait to see what new incestcoaster they'll turn my guts inside out with in the next entry of the series, Fire Emblem is truly the finest series of horror games disguised as jrpgs.

Obviously, this post was written in jest. I don’t actually believe you’re an inherently creepy person for playing fire emblem, nor do I think Flayn is a predator deviant (hell I don’t even think Nowi is that bad). I just found it truly interesting how people’s sensitivities can activate in these fictional settings (and do think those sensitivities should be respected) but when I try to activate those neurons my mind ends up in a whole different place. So yeah, just having some fun.

Also check out the rest of this trilogy with Three Houses sucks actually and Three Houses is good actually. I seriously hope I never feel like writing anything about this game ever again.

[rubberduckyrye]

I have see people offer you their fanfic ideas so um i would like if you can tell your advice on mine ^^' The story would happen in the canon of Thh, Sdr2 and anime 3 but with the class of v3 at Hope speak To sum up Kokichi will be accused of being a remnant of despair because there is a traitor in the future foundation and he can only be in the class of v3 (whereas in fact it is Tsumugi) he will be sent in the neo program alongside the class of sdr2 and attend the killings of jaberwock island

Kokichi will make friends and see them die (Strangely he gets along much more easily with the cast of sdr2 and yes I love to torture my children) The future foundation will realize that Kokichi was innocent "Oops" the class of v3 will feel betrayed because of Tsumugi and guilty of not having believed in Ouma Ouma is going to make friends and be happy and he i the baby of the group because he is three years younger than the others (he discovers either in Chap 4 or when they wake up Neo progr)

And he will forget all his memories related to hope speak with the class of V3 and he will not trust them at all (especially that some Chisa would have told him that they are the ones who delivered it to the future foundation) And I like the Komahinamami and the Saiouma and the Oumota so there may be X) I had this idea thanks to a post tumbrl that I liked a lot but I can not find it anymore

It's a fanfic I would love to write but I'm afraid to make the characters oc or to do too much in the rewrite so I do not know if I would do it one day I'm not super confident on that side I do not even know if it's a good idea ^^ ' I'm sorry for all these spam I hate doing that I'd like to have more room to write and send once Also thank you very much this blog and in general the au (twins Ouma) or analyzes and headcanons your blog is awesome

Ooooh, That could be a pretty interesting story, yeah! Honestly, any idea can work with a good writer, so you’ve got some pretty good premises down. Unfortunately, I can’t give any proper criticisms or advice since this is just an idea and not actually yet a fanfic. 

I guess I can give you general advice, and my first piece of advice? Don’t write for anything but to please yourself. If you want to be happy with your fanfic, try not to let the opinions of others get to you too much. I think people who believe in fanfic criticisms don’t necessarily understand how criticism is supposed to work, so a lot of the time “criticism” tends to just be hateful commentary about everything the reader disliked. Constructive Criticism should never be given unless asked for when it comes to private works like fanfiction. 

Anyway, write the story you want to tell. Write the characters how you would see them--your interpretations are your own, and not everyone is going to agree with them no matter what. Already I can tell you like half the v3 fandom will dislike your portrayal of Kokichi because he sounds like he’s going to be a sweetheart. There’s just no getting around it, people are going to hate it and it’s not going to be your fault. You’re not going to be writing anyone “wrong” because hey, all interpretations of all characters are valid. Most people, sadly, just can’t understand that. So keep to how you see the characters, and it’ll not only make you happy, but fans of the AU/fanfic will see how much love you put into it and admire that love.

I think one of the biggest reasons why Twins AU is so popular for how tiny it is, is because of that love me and L put into it. We’re putting all of our love into the story, the characters, the plot twists, everything. And people see that. 

In general, loving what you write is a big way to write something other people will love.

Another piece of advice is, write what the story needs you to write. Don’t be bound by constraints, if you need to do something for the story, do it. 

Also, while it’s not necessary, researching certain topics you’re unsure of will always earn respect points. Ask people who know the subject best (I.e. a person with ADHD will probably know more about ADHD than a neurotypical, but don’t rely on one person’s perspective or advice on a subject either. get a collection of data!)

Advice on prose? Well, there’s no right or wrong answer to prose. Sure there are guidelines for it, (I.E. Show, don’t tell) but sometimes guidelines need to be broken (I.E. if a character is telling a story, or the perspective is first person, then you have to account what kind of story teller the character is and chances are they’re not going to be perfect masters of creative writing) and sometimes the rules you see will actually make the narrative hard to read (I.E. if you’re writing a fluffy story but at some point a character gets sick, it’s better to not go into too much detail about how disgusting the illness is, so you’d want to “tell” the reader how ill the character is over “show”) Again, write what the story needs you to write. If you need purple prose for one section for x reason or need to “tell” the reader rather than show, do it. Don’t force it.

Pacing is also something to keep in mind. Short, broken and/or repetitive sentences in narration give off the sense of alertness, danger, despair, desperation and insanity. (I.E. “He couldn’t--he couldn’t do this, he just couldn’t--”) while longer, smoother sentences give off a smoother, calmer effect. (I.E. “His breathing started to slow, chest rising and falling as he drifted off to sleep.”) Tone and pacing kind of go hand in hand, so be aware of what kind of tone you want the narrative to have, because pacing is important to set the tone.

Aside from that stuff? Just have fun with it. Go wild, have fun!

And thank you! me and @aroseandapen work hard on Twins AU and, yes, we’re still working on it folks! We’re just going to finish it before we post it, that’s all. As for my theories and anlysis, I just do those for fun really, but thank you again ;w;

[winteriron-trash]

About Me/FAQ

Hey, welcome to my blog! This is my -well, usually- Marvel-centric blog that has everything WinterIron, Bucky Barnes, and Tony Stark, as well as some general shitposts of my own wild adventures. I figured it’s best to keep up this trend of updating my ‘About Me’ page every follower milestone. So thank you all so much for over 3,000 followers, I never expected to break that many followers, let alone in less than a year on Tumblr. I appreciate each and everyone one of you, so really, thank you for sticking around with my bullshit.

Per the usual, I don’t do drama, I don’t do discourse. If you have a serious problem with me or anything I’ve written/done on this blog, please take it up with me personally. I will delete anon hate (if I get any, I haven’t gotten any yet…) and I think it’s all just pointless. I can be salty and derpy sometimes, but I will never purposely say something malicious. I’m not here for that negativity.

Now, to the FAQs.

Do you have an Ao3/Pillowfort/other social media?

I do have an Ao3, you can find me at Gothic_Lolita. I don’t cross-post everything, and a lot of my stuff on Ao3 isn’t WinterIron or even Bucky or Tony-centric, so if you’d like to see some other stuff I write, feel free to check over there. I don’t have a Pillowfort, nor do I plan on getting one. It took me forever to get this platform right, I’m not in the place to bother learning how to navigate a new one. I don’t do Snapchat or Instagram or Twitter because I am not nearly basic or cool enough for that stuff. The only social media I use is Tumblr and Pinterest, and trust me, my Pinterest is nothing interesting enough to be worth linking.

Do you have a tagging system?

I’m… trying, honestly. I’m trying to adjust my tags and systems because of the… wildness Tumblr is having with blocking and purging certain tags. I try to be funny in my tags, and I swear a lot, and apparently ‘fuck’ is being filtered out of the tag search, so that’s fun and completely screwed me over. As it stands, the important tags are ‘winteriron-trash writes’ (my writing tag), ‘shitposting with becca’ (any wild shitposts of my own sad creation), ‘not about marvel’ (any posts that are my general bullshittery and not Marvel related), ‘becca gives mediocre writing advice’ (a new tag I’m trying to use that’ll tag any post that I give writing advice on), ‘becca spills the tea’ (a tag for whenever I post my metas or opinions on Marvel characters, plots, etc), and the citrus scale which I explain in a post here

Do you write original fiction?

Yes, but I rarely, if ever, post it. I think I have all of one poem on Tumblr, any absolutely nothing original on Ao3. I write original works all the time, especially poetry and novels, but I’m super shy about being vulnerable and putting my stuff out there. I do wanna post my original writing somehow, but considering a fandom blog and Ao3 aren’t really the place for it, I’ll just keep it all hidden inside of me, and one day I’ll die. You’re more than welcome to ask me about any of my original writings, trust me, I am always willing to ramble about the shit I write, it’s pathetic.

What type of fanfiction do you write?

For this blog, mostly WinterIron fics or gen fics focused on Bucky or Tony. I do write about OT3s on here occasionally, but they usually include WinterIron in some way. Most of the time. I’ve somehow gotten to writing some weird stuff lately, to be honest. I’ll work with MCU, Sony Venom, and Spiderverse characters and canon, with the occasionally comic canon shoved in there. I have occasionally written crossover content with DC characters, but that usually relies on comic versions -or at least my own remixes of them- rather than the DCEU. On my masterlist, you can check out all the things I’ve written!

What are your ships besides WinterIron? NOTPs?

I’ll ship almost anything, and I’m a huge fan of rarepairs/interesting relationships simply to explore the possibilities of it, particularly when they include Bucky or Tony. My top OTPs besides WinterIron are currently Phlint, FalconShield, and BlackPepper. As for NOTPs, I strongly dislike Stucky, Stuckony, Thorki, and Staron for reasons of just not being able to see those characters together romantically. Feel free to send me the wildest rarepair your mind can think of, chances are I’ve probably already thought of it myself so I’d love the chance to ramble about/write for it. I’m a big fan of weird OT3s as well, just see the weird shit on my masterlist.

Are you in any fandoms besides Marvel?

I’m into DC, Star Trek, classic literature, Percy Jackson/HoO/Kane Chronicles, She-Ra, Carmen Sandiego, indie gaming, Supernatural, vulture culture, HYDRA Trash Party, and musicals. Yes, I’m aware I was born to be a geek. Trust me, I’ve grown very used to it.

Do you take prompts?

Honestly, sending me a prompt/headcanon/idea is a shot in the dark. I have prompts sitting in my inbox that has been there for about a year that I’ve been meaning to write. Chances are if you send me a prompt yes I’ve seen it, yes I think it’s lovely, but god I do not have the time. Occasionally a prompt will really grab my eye and I’ll just have to write something for it, but sometimes even that can take months to finish. Don’t be surprised if you send me a prompt and I randomly fill it seven months later. I’m prone to doing so. I love being tagged in existing prompt/headcanon posts and asked to write it (as I have a bad habit of hijacking posts to write stuff for them to begin with…) just know that once again the chances of me writing it are about a 50/50. Also, make sure the OP is okay with you asking me to write it, it’s never my intention to steal someone else’s spotlight, I just want to take cool ideas and throw my two cents in.

Is there anything you won’t write?

Drugs and alcohol are hard nos for me. They’re personal triggers that if you really want to know more about, you can send me an ask or message about. If I’ve listed something as a NOTP, I will not write anything with it. I strongly dislike writing kid fics, mundane AUs, damsel in distress Tony fics, and A/B/O, but I’m willing to work with an idea if it’s good enough. It really depends on the situation.

Do you offer writing advice/reviews?

Yep! I’m down to answer any questions on writing fanfic or just writing in general. I love talking about writing and all that. Seriously, I like talking about writing almost as much as I like talking about Marvel. I’m more than open to reading a few chapters of your fic or book or whatever and telling you my honest thoughts, but I probably won’t have time to read all of it if it’s more than 5k long, because I’m just a busy person. And I will be honest because I want to be helpful. Don’t ask me for my honest opinion if you just want your ego stroked.

Can I ask your opinion on [insert topic here]?

Always. I am always open to sharing my honest opinions, regardless of backlash I’ll receive for it. I’d rather be my honest self online -the one place I can be my honest self- then a fake mask made to please others. Whether it be fandom ships, in-universe meta, or non-fandom related topics, feel free to ask me. I love talking meta, or just general thoughts and opinions on random stuff. Trust me, I’m far too opinionated for my own good. Ask literally anyone who’s met me.

How long have you been writing?

All seventeen years of my sad, sad life. I loved writing stupid little stories when I was a kid, that slowly morphed into shitty “books”, then I went through a poetry phase in junior high, and when I was about 14 I wrote my first fanfiction. I posted my first fanfic when I was 15, and have been posting fanfiction for over a year and a half now. I started Tumblr in late February but didn’t start writing fics here until about March because I am a shy bitch.

Aaaaaaand now for some stupid shit about me you didn’t ask for.

My name is Becca, or Winter, or Dumbass, whatever you prefer, and I’m a dumbfuck 17 yr old lesbian from upstate New York. (The ‘upstate’ part is important. Don’t ask me if I live in NYC. Just don’t.) I’m a junior in high school and planning to study English and Marketing in college, to hopefully become an editor. Hopefully. I’m actually a pretty boring and dumb bitch, which makes it all the more concerning that I am steadily gaining popularity on this hellsite. Someone help me.

I mentioned some of my interests above, but some other stuff I’m into includes knitting, playing piano, tea, collecting (hoarding) notebooks, photography, editing, music, and being a general idiot. I’m a wild child in ripped jeans and a leather jacket, which should not fool you because I’m far too shy and afraid of everything to be cool like that. I sound a lot cooler online because I’ve gotten so used to online interactions from making friends and running my own Discord server, but in real life I am unrecognizable. I’ve been in a grade of 60 people with the same people since kindergarten and some of them still don’t know my name.

I’m mentally ill and all that, but we’re working on getting… better. Writing schedules are a mess from me and sometimes I’m falling apart so, that’s fun. It doesn’t usually affect my blog because I internalize that shit, but occasionally the self-deprecating humor can get to be a little too close to the truth. And just the general spastic nature of my blog reflects the utter chaos of my mind.

So anyway, that’s me, please be my friend. Also, because this seems to come up more and more. Please don’t be afraid of me/intimidated by me. I know I look all cool and popular, but I am literally a hot mess just like the rest of us. If you want to climb your way into my messages and just,,,, scream at me about something you think I’d like, or just scream in general, go ahead. I really won’t mind, I promise. I need… friends, or so my therapist tells me.

Oh, and here’s a face reveal.

Yes, I am that absolute idiot of a person, lying splat in the middle of my elementary playground field for,,,, reasons???? I don’t really remember the story behind that picture tbh, but it’s my entire personality in a single picture, so I dig it.

And here’s my actual face, with a cheap ring in my mouth and a fox filter because I thought I looked cute, okay? Leave me be.

Tadah.

I swear I’m funny and talented sometimes, please like me.

As always, feel free to send me an ask or a message about anything you’d like. 

Check out my Masterlist if you want, and join my Discord Server.

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[into-the-faewood]

A Beginner’s Guide to Hunting Demons

Read from the beginning • Previous chapter • AO3

3. Apocryphal

Evenfell University’s dining hall is always loud, but on the evening of the first new moon of the semester, there’s a new thrum of energy beneath the layers of conversation. An hour from now, third-year apprentice mages will enter Deimos for the first time. Their excited conversation draws in jealous younger students and fourth-years ready with advice.

At the small dining hall table where Tristan Laurell sits with his roommate Jasper, though, it’s quiet. Jasper is gazing out the window of the dining hall as he eats, and Tris, in turn, is observing Jasper. Tris remembers being sick with nerves before his first trip across realms last year, and now that it’s Jasper’s turn, Tris wants to help as much as he can.

But Jasper, being Jasper, looks calm and confident, not nervous at all. When he turns to Tris, there’s a spark of excitement in his eyes, but his voice is even. “Hey, question.”

Tris nods, eager to be of help. “Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s possible to have sex in the demon realm?”

Tris stares, feeling heat rush to his cheeks. “What?”

The note of humor in Jasper’s expression blossoms into a wide grin. “Just curious. Academically.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Serious question. I mean, you don’t have to eat or drink while you’re there, right? So I was just wondering if other… functions are the same, or –”

“Well,” interrupts Tris. If he has to discuss this, he’ll take the high road and answer academically. “It’s definitely possible. Bethevas the Slayer was allegedly conceived in Deimos, after all – I mean, according to the modern understanding of realm travel, that’s likely apocryphal, but – the, the act itself…” He trails off, his cheeks burning under Jasper’s steady gaze. “Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“First of all, because it’s fun making you blush,” says Jasper, grinning.

It’s a common refrain when Jasper is saying ridiculous things. As usual, it makes Tris blush harder, but, with the ease of long practice, he tells himself that the rush of heat is due to annoyance, and answers, “Well, I’m glad I could provide some entertainment.”

“But even more importantly, I’m about to be alone with Doran for three whole nights.” Jasper leans in, eyebrows raised. “Who knows what could happen.”

Tris’s heart lurches at the mention of Master Doran. Jasper always throws himself fully into everything, including crushes, but Doran is decidedly different than anyone Jasper’s pursued in the past. Tris took a course on the demon wars with Doran last semester, and he knows how intense he is, how difficult he is to read behind that bright, impenetrable gaze. Tris doesn’t know what Jasper might be getting himself into.

Add to that the fact that Doran is Jasper’s mentor – if something goes wrong between them, the emotional harm it could do Jasper would be compounded by serious damage to his academic future. Jasper might not see that as something to worry about, but Tris does – and it’s definitely not just because, as Jasper might claim, Tris worries too much.

Tris knows he should play along with Jasper’s suggestive tone, but the whole topic has him too flustered. He frowns at Jasper instead. “Come on.”

“Okay, I’ll admit, we might not actually hook up on our first trip together. Though I’m not going to rule it out.”

Tris just sighs, and Jasper, grinning, glances out the window again. Outside, the sun is sinking behind the trees at the outer edge of Evenfell University’s campus, limning the stone buildings of the school with gold. It’s almost sunset.

When Jasper looks back at Tris, he’s grown more serious. “But honestly, Tris. There’s something between me and Doran. I could feel it.”

The heat in Jasper’s voice makes Tris’s chest grow tight. He prefers the jokes about sex to this. Because as ill-advised as he thinks Jasper’s feelings are, part of him can’t help being jealous. What would it be like to feel that way about someone? The confidence Jasper has that he and Doran will end up together, the steady-eyed determination to make it happen – Tris can’t imagine that.

The closest feeling, he thinks, would be when he’s with Jasper, and he manages to say something that makes Jasper laugh, open-mouthed and bright-eyed. When Jasper leans in to Tris, and their shoulders brush, and it feels like they’re right next to a line that would be incredibly easy to step over if only Tris had the courage, and then –

But Tris stops that train of thought, swallows the tightness in his throat, and keeps his voice light. “Look, I just hope that you’ll focus on practicing magic and hunting demons before you worry about wooing Master Doran.”

“Tris, I’m hurt. Obviously I can do both.”

“Fine, then at least tell me you’ll prioritize demon-hunting over romance. Your performance in the demon realm is a very important part of your grade this semester, you know.”

“I know, I know.”

Tris frowns. “It might not be as easy as you think.”

He thinks back to his own first year of trips to Deimos. It took him many failures and close calls to even bind two minor demons. At the thought, his thumb brushes instinctively against the two demon rings on the fingers of his left hand. He can feel the pull of them, the power eager for release, a little spark of danger even in this form. Jasper does tend to be effortlessly good at everything, but Deimos is different.

But Jasper looks unconcerned. “Okay, well, what about you?”

“Me?”

“Are you going to be okay? I know you’re basically an expert on Deimos at this point, but this will be your first time going alone.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I’m not an expert – but yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Well, if you get into any trouble, use that flare spell you told me about. Doran and I will drop everything and come rescue you.”

Tris can’t help smiling at the idea. “If you say so. Are you even going to be in Tallowell territory?”

“No idea. But whatever territory we’re in. Just say the word.”

“Well, if I had to guess, for your first assignment, you’ll probably be patrolling Marlyon. So, flare or no, by the time you make it to Tallowell, the demons would definitely have drained me completely. But thanks all the same.”

Jasper grimaces. “Oh. Well, send up a flare anyway and let someone else rescue you, then.”

“I will. That is to say, I won’t have to. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, you’d better be,” replies Jasper with a smile, his eyes warm on Tris’s face.

Warmth swells in Tris’s chest, and he smiles back.

The fact is, he’s sure that both he and Jasper will be fine. With last year’s experience under his belt, he’s ready for whatever he might find in Deimos. And Jasper’s smarter and more talented than he is, so Jasper will definitely be fine.

As to the Doran thing – Tris is still worried, but Jasper is his best friend, and Tris trusts him. If Jasper says it will work out, it probably will, one way or another.

But they’ll see soon enough. Around them, the tenor of the dining hall’s noise slowly changes as students start to push back their chairs and get up. Tris takes a deep breath. It’s time.

Next chapter