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pedroshotwifey · 9 months ago

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To The Flame chapter twelve

Series masterlist

Pairing: Dark!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Chapter w/c: 2.6k

Chapter warnings: mentions of physical abuse, manipulation, mental abuse, steve and connie!!, fluff but like backhanded fluff?, Javi being a dick, alcohol consumption, mild description of injury

Chapter Summary: Javi takes you out on your date and you meet some potential friends

A/N: Hey, y'all! Super excited about this one! These character introductions mean a lot to this story. Hope you like it! (also sorry about not posting last week, pls forgive me ❤)

*****

“Shit,” you mutter.

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror, fixated on the ugly welt marring your right cheekbone. Your right eye is a bit swollen as well, but not too badly. You’re mostly worried about how the hell you’re going to hide the discoloring. Even with your makeup, it’s going to be a feat.

It makes your stomach twist up to remember last night’s events. You still don’t understand why you had chosen to freak out like that. It was completely immature and irrational. He was just worried about you and you chose to berate him for it.

Thankfully, Javi seems to have completely forgiven you for your outburst. He woke up as normal this morning, planted a kiss on your forehead, and made your breakfast. You smile to think about it. Despite everything that happened yesterday, everything today is back as it should be, just how you like it.

You sigh and turn the sink on. You’ll wash your face and get dressed, then worry about this monstrosity last. You’re excited for your date. Javi told you that he’ll be taking you to a small restaurant a few blocks from the apartment. He’s out running an errand right now, or so he said. He wasn’t very specific, but he did promise to be back in time for your dinner date.

You lean down and splash your face with the cool water, suppressing a wince as it hits your bruised flesh. You really didn’t realize the hit had landed that hard. You scrub it anyway, being careful to not press too hard. You don’t think Javi got a very good look at it this morning, which is probably a good thing. He’d likely be devastated to know he caused such an injury.

You finish washing your face and reach for your dress hanging on the back of the door. It’s one of Javi’s favorites, and you’re excited to finally have an excuse to wear it again. You slip it over your head and turn around to zip the back with the help of the mirror. You pull at the edge and smooth it out so it falls effortlessly just above your knees.

It’s a beautiful color in contrast with your skintone, hell, it’s a beautiful dress in general. You smile at your appearance in the mirror. It’s not often you feel confident, but this dress never fails to bring it out of you. Maybe that’s why Javi likes it so much, too.

You hear the front door open as you fix one of the sleeves of the dress, a smile spreading across your face at the sound. Javi calls your name in greeting and your stomach flutters.

“I’m in here,” you call back. His footsteps grow closer.

“You ready, sweetheart?”

You peek your head out from the bathroom, careful to hide your right side behind the door frame. Javi’s standing in the middle of the bedroom. He looks gorgeous—as usual. He’s wearing a blue button up with his jeans and his regular boots.

“Yup, I’ll be just a second.”

“Alright, baby, take your time. There’s no rush.” He sends you a wink.

You flash him a quick smile before ducking back in and cracking the door behind you. You pick up your compact and lean in close to the mirror. The first layer doesn’t do much at all. The second makes a small difference, and by the third, all that’s left is to touch up certain spots. Even then though, you know there’s nothing you can do about the swelling of your eye and one of the deeper bruises. You take a step back. It doesn’t look so bad when you’re not too close.

You sigh and finish up the rest of it, only putting everything away once you’re satisfied that you look pretty much normal. Like it’s any other date night. You turn the light off and step out of the bathroom.

“Javi?”

“In the kitchen, sweetheart.”

You follow his voice, finding him leaning against the kitchen counter and craning his neck slightly to look out the window.

You grin as you step into view, giving him a small twirl and watching his smile widen when his gaze lands on you. You do your best to hide your right side, but try to be casual enough that he won’t think that’s what you’re trying to do.

“You look gorgeous, baby,” he says, walking toward you with open arms.

You let him embrace you in a hug, wrapping your own arms around his middle as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you, Javi,” you mumble into his chest.

He lets you go after a moment and picks something up from the counter.

“Here, hermosa, got something for you” he offers you the bouquet of flowers. You gasp, sure that it’s the most beautiful bunch you’ve ever seen. That must have been why he went out. You’ll really never get over how thoughtful he is. It must have taken him a while to pick these out.

You beam at him as you take them in your hand. “Thank you,” you say again. He nods at you, warmth in his gaze as he watches you softly sniff the flowers. You look up when he clears his throat.

“Wanted to say I’m sorry,” he tells you, eyes flickering to and from yours. You frown a bit.

“It’s okay, Javi, I was the one acting up,” you assure him. You don’t want him to feel bad over something that wasn’t his fault. Just thinking about it puts a bad taste in your mouth. He’s much too sweet of a man to ever think that he’s done something wrong. You’re the childish one who threw a temper tantrum for no reason. It’s not fair for him to blame himself for what happened.

He nods solemnly, giving you a soft smile.

“I think we were both in the wrong there, sweetheart. I just don’t want it to happen again.”

Now it’s your turn to nod. You’re beaming inside at the fact that everything seems to be back to normal, but there’s also a sudden threat of tears pricking at your eyes and you’re not sure why. You look away, refusing to let them fall as you busy yourself putting them into a vase.

“Let me just put these in some water, and I’ll be ready,” you say as you turn on the sink.

****

You’re walking out the door minutes later, hand in hand with Javi as you try to contain the smile on your face. You’re way too excited about getting out. A part of you feels a bit guilty about getting your way after last night, but you suppose that Javi would have told you no if he thought it was really a bad idea tonight.

You stay silent and let him lead you downstairs, and you actually have to bite down on your lip to keep from full-on grinning when the evening air hits your face. It’s not too busy of a night, not many people out on the street at all. Still, Javi holds you close to his side as you make your way to the restaurant he was telling you about.

It’s not far, maybe a four or five minute walk from the complex. It’s small and cozy, exactly what you would hope for. He keeps his hand on the small of your back as you go to sit at an empty table, pulling your chair out for you and making sure you’re comfortable before sitting down in the seat across from you.

You smile at him as a waitress comes by and drops off a couple of menus. She takes your drink orders—a soda for you and a beer for Javi. You busy yourself with looking over the food options, failing to notice the way Javi’s started to stare at you.

His hand comes quickly across the table, making you flinch from surprise when he grabs your chin and tilts your head enough to see your right cheek.

“What’s this?” he demands.

You wince, really wishing you could have avoided this. You should have kept layering your makeup.

“”S from last night,” you mumble, ashamed even though you know you shouldn’t be. You just don’t want him to see what physical damage he may have done. He’ll tear himself up over it.

But he instead snaps, “And you didn’t fucking cover it?”

You’re taken aback, your head snapping away from his grasp. Shame fills you. Why can’t you just do something right for once? Tears again fill your eyes, only adding to your shame.

“I-I’m sorry, Javi,” you say quietly, staring at your hands in your lap. “I was just really excited to go out and—”

He sighs and leans back in his chair, cutting you off from your pointless excuse. “Just make sure nobody sees it,” he tells you. “Do you have any idea what that could do to me in my field of work?”

You nod, sniffing as your ears burn with embarrassment. Here he is taking you out and you ruin it by making another stupid decision. At least you’re not getting angry again. You have enough sense to keep that at bay.

You catch the waitress walking back with your drinks out of the corner of your eye and do your best to quickly collect yourself, giving her a warm, tear free smile when she sets your soda down in front of you. She smiles back and takes Javi’s order, which you order as well since you forgot to choose a dish for yourself.

You flash Javi a shy smile when she walks away, and, much to your relief, he gives you a small one in response. He’s still obviously not very thrilled with you, but at least he’s not straight mad.

“How have things been going at the house, baby?”

You know he means with renovations.

“They’re pretty good. Almost finished with all the painting and stuff. I might just need you to help me with some of the tile and cabinets.”

He nods. “Alright, I’ll see if I can get it done tomorrow.”

You nod back, trying not to be too tense. The conversation almost feels…awkward. It’s confusing. Luckily, the waitress comes quickly with your food, placing it in front of you and leaving you to it.

Conversation gets a bit better as the two of you eat. More casual and free-flowing.It’s not quite how it’s been the last few months, though. More like when the two of you had gone out together the first few times and had been a little shy. You brush it off though, sure that it won’t last too long. Even the two of you haven’t ever really been in a ‘post-fight’ situation yet, you believe that your chemistry is good enough for it to work itself out soon.

And it pretty much does by the time you’re finishing up your dinner. Javi’s smiling as you gush to him about a book you’re currently reading. It’s a very cute romance, one of the ones he’s brought you recently. He’s listening intently, happy to see your eyes light up with excitement.

The waitress comes back with the bill just as you’re telling him about the ending, and he hands his card over, along with a cash tip, as he continues to listen. It’s so nice to have someone who enjoys hearing about your interests. Before Javi, you can’t really remember having a person who would genuinely want to hear about your books.

You finish just as the waitress comes back, revealing the plot twist dramatically. His eyes widen with your reveal, both to indulge you but also probably a bit out of surprise because—in your opinion—it was a pretty insane plot twist.

But then his gaze darkens, pointed over your shoulder, and you frown.

“Javi?”

Your mouth is open to say his name, but it wasn’t you who said it. You snap your head around to see a couple walking toward you, the man smiling broadly. There’s a woman holding his hand, looking a little less enthusiastic than the man about seeing your husband.

You see Javi tense out of the corner of your eye as they reach your table. The man drops the woman's hand to round the table and clap Javi’s shoulder.

“What are you doing, you son of a bitch?” the man asks in a joking tone. “Thought you said you didn’t date.”

Javi’s jaw clenches as your brows furrow.

What?

“Uhm, yeah,” you supply, ignoring the way your stomach churns at the fact that he hadn’t mentioned you at all. “That may have something to do with the fact that he’s married.” You hold your left hand up, flashing your ring. The man’s light brows go up in surprise, a slight smirk overtaking his features. But then the smile drops and he shoots his gaze down to your husband.

“Well I’ll be damned,” he says slowly. “Didn’t think you were the type, Peña.” His tone is almost flat now. You don’t understand why it changed so quickly. Javi looks back up at him, a flicker of dark emotion that you can’t quite place showing in his eyes.

“Sweetheart,” Javi addresses you, keeping his eyes on the stranger. “This is Steve, my partner at work.”

He doesn’t talk about work much, but from what he’s told you about his partner, your understanding is that they get along pretty well. So you don’t quite understand the surge of hostility between the two of them right now.

You smile nonetheless, standing and reaching your hand out to him. You state your name. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He nods as he shakes your hand, giving you a tight smile in return. His expression is almost hard to read. He nods to the woman next to you. “That’s my wife, Connie.”

You turn to shake her hand as well, and you can tell you’ll immediately like her. She gives you a bright smile as well, telling you it’s nice to meet you. She seems very nice, but also like she wouldn’t be afraid to speak up for herself. You find yourself hoping that you’ll be able to see her again. Maybe be friends.

“We were just leaving,” Javi says from where he watches the two of you. Steve has taken a step back now, and is also watching you both with his arms crossed, though he doesn’t look mad, exactly. More like he’s contemplating something.

You frown though, having thought that you still had a little while before you had to go back.

“But—”

He flashes you a warning look, and you quiet down. Maybe you misunderstood him and he doesn’t like his partner. Either way, if he wants to go back, it’s probably for a good reason and you shouldn’t fight it. You nod at him instead, smoothing out your dress.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” you say to Steve and Connie as Javi comes to your side and takes your arm in his.

“You, too,” Connie says, and Steve nods, another small smile offered as Javi starts to lead you out. You don’t turn to watch them as you leave, instead keeping your eyes on Javi, who has his on the exit.

“What was that about?” you ask.

He glances at you with a softer gaze than you’ve seen all night. Again, you can’t place the look.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he assures you and kisses the side of your head. So you don’t.

When the two of you get home, Javi cracks open another beer and holds you on the couch until you both fall asleep watching TV.

*****

You for reading! Taglist is always open!

Series taglist: @corazondebeskar @yorksgirl @nerdieforpedro @axshadows @melaninmommy @survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @callachloe @missladym1981 @sofiparallel @koshkaj-blog @sheepdogchick3 @movievillainess721 @jessie8605 @casa-boiardi @justlulu @iamsherlocked-1998 @hjzghi-b @solarecI1spe

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lunabug2004 · 7 months ago

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I watched Only Friends... and It Was Definitely An Experience! **SPOILERS**

I knew going into it that SandRay was the most popular Only Friends couple, at least that's what it seems like based on how many posts/edits there are about them over all of the internet, but it's so rightfully deserved!!!

I couldn't care less about TopMew, they were just pretty boring to me and I did not like Top at all. Mew was alright, though I will say I loved his petty revenge arc. BostonNick I thought was doomed from the start so I kinda made myself not get too into them? Nick is a sweetheart while also being a conniving little spy so I thought he was pretty fun and liked him a lot but, like Top, I hated Boston (basic of me, I know). But SandRay??? Loved every second! I think Ray is such an interesting character with so many layers and it's so fun to explore his life, and I absolutely fell in love with Sand. I love everything about him and he deserves nothing but to be able to attend all the music festivals in the world. Also quick shout out to Sand & Nick's friendship, it's so refreshing in this messy tree of relationships lol.

It's crazy to me that some people didn't enjoy SandRay as much, but some complaints I've seen are pretty valid tbh. I've seen people complain that the only reason people loved them so much more than the other couples is because they had the most screentime, and that's fair, but they also had the most to cover with their stories: both individually and together. I know this is fully on the writers, I've also seen people complain about SandRay being way more developed than the other characters. These complaints are extremely valid I feel, and I honestly believe they would've been better off doing either a show made up of three short series focusing on one pairing at a time or a show focusing on SandRay as the main couple (they have enough to their stories/story that alone it could take up a whole 12 episodes easily) with BostonNick and TopMew as sides with the possibility of getting their own series after (kinda like UWMA with BU even tho I know it's a different company). Either way, we got what we got with SandRay, and I, for one, enjoyed it thoroughly! I personally don't really understand what's not to like about their relationship, I thought it was at least mostly realistic and they suit each other so well it's insane.

Back to my complaints, I really hated the pool scene with Sand, Ray, and Boeing. Like, really hated it. Also the fact that Ray tried to say Sand was still in love with Boeing after the huge difference b/t the two kisses... was insane. I also disliked the scene with Ray and the therapist because no matter how sweet and also heartbreaking it is the second-hand embarrassment is the actual worst.

Now onto what I enjoyed: obv SandRay and Sand & Nick's friendship since I already mentioned those. I also enjoyed the way all the characters were connected in different ways, it was so much fun to untangle all the relationships! I like the way the show tackled alcoholism and made it realistic, as well as the way it tackled betrayal within the friend group (looking at you, 'Ton) in a realistic way.

Now, I have to mention the acting and chemistry between the couples. ForceBook was meh to me. This is the first thing I've seen them in it and they didn't really blow me away with their chemistry but I did enjoy their acting! I do think this is because I didn't really like the couple, so I'm not really holding it against them and I do plan to watch A Boss and A Babe at some point. NeoMark was very good! Both the chemistry and the acting. Neo has never been my favorite actor, (sorry if this is controversial) I like him fine but he never really blew me out of the water, he's just always done good, but this series he was insane! He played Boston so well he made most people hate him and that's always impressive when it's done by such a well-liked actor. I knew Mark was gonna kill it and he did. I love Mark. The chemistry b/t these two was surprising but enjoyable (speaking purely on what I saw as someone who skips through most saucy scenes). Now... FirstKhao. I expected everything from them and I got everything. I 1000% know that they are joining OffGun and GemFourth as one of my favorite pairings ever (who am I kidding they did that after I watched The Eclipse). Just the pure talent these two have is unreal and the chemistry is off the charts. The fight scenes broke me and the bonding scenes made me feel butterflies, just everything about them is perfection. Also wanna make a special comment on First b/c he has climbed my ranks as one of my favorite actors ever extremely quickly but I mostly see people talk about Khao, (which is so valid; man is insane as well, I just prefer First for whatever reason), but the way First plays all of his characters is so hypnotizing to me. Like the emotions he portrays and the way he completely transforms into his characters with his body language just impresses me so much. I'm def rambling now so it's time to wrap this up!

Anyways, putting aside others' complaints over the best couple SandRay, as well as my own complaints and compliments, I think overall it's a really good show and the drama is fun! So so messy but since it's all fiction it's fun to get sucked into! I'd tell anyone to give it a try at least!

Also wanna end this by saying if you disagree with me on any of this that's totally okay! All opinions are valid! Plus, I went into this with extreme actor bias towards FirstKhao (esp First), so that definitely tied towards my instant love for SandRay.

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fullmetal-scar-simping · 5 months ago

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Alright, my Brotherhood character tier list. There are a few characters I could shuffle back and forth between the lower tiers, but thus is the nature of finding most of the cast to be unseasoned and bland.

A mountain of salt and indifference lays ahead:

First tier: No one should be surprised about my top pick. He's the one character I was absolutely rooting for from start to finish, and WOW did I hate what this narrative puts him through. The way this show takes every opportunity to kick him in the ribs while the war criminal characters are given so much sympathy was a ride (derogatory). The absolute anxiety this anime has around what Scar's character represents is palpable and it sucked so hard. In spite of these massive issues, he still managed to be a rich, layered character, and he was the absolute highlight to what was otherwise a trainwreck of an experience. I nearly dropped this show multiple times, with the scene in the abandoned Briggs town being the one that nearly turned me away completely. There are only two reasons I kept watching: to better articulate my opinions on this adaptation, and because of Scar. If he was removed from the story I would have absolutely ditched this mess. Though the disappointing conclusion to his story, post-Promised Day, as a military collaborator and reformist? Hurts my soul. Scar, babygirl? Sweetheart? You're fantastic and you deserved infinitely better than *Hand waves at the entirety of Brotherhood*

Second tier: I really was quite surprised how much I liked these two! Hohenheim was an actually well written character, he was complex and sympathetic, his arc had an emotional weight to it that the show's writing frankly bungles for the majority of its other characters. A very different character from the version of him I'm familiar with, and I liked this one quite a lot!

As for Mei, I won't lie. When she first got introduced I rolled my eyes, thinking she would fall into the "peppy mascot-adjacent kid who brightens up the dour characters and pays no mind to anything around her" role. And although she does match the archetype to some extent, she doesn't end up hollow. Her zeal for combat, her passion towards saving her clan, the care she shows for others and her unabashed friendship with Scar won me over. I really appreciated that she seemed less concerned with ruling an empire and more with securing the safety of her people. Watching her fight was always a treat too (that choreography, man), though I wasn't remotely invested in the romance angle presented with her and the Elrics.

Third Tier: An odd grab-bag of characters that I still liked enough, but on a comparatively superficial level. Izumi was cool but (like half of the Brotherhood cast) was often played up more for comedy relief when she wasn't doling out beatdowns (and often the comedy was because she's such a powerhouse). There wasn't enough here for me to be more invested in her than I would prefer.

Scar's brother is a brief glimpse of a character in any version of fma, so it's not like he has much of an opportunity to shine on his own versus what he provides for the plot. Still, I like him well enough. Too bad he's the "positivity even in the face of imperial aggression" guy, as a key antithesis to what Scar symbolizes pre-reformism.

Greed's effortlessly cool, and although I can appreciate that this time around he has an ongoing role in the story versus FMA 03, I wasn't won over by his particular arc. I can see what Arakawa & co were going for regarding themes of community, and Greed is a big part of that contrast against the other isolationist and war-mongering homunculi, but I'm gonna be real here: the "power of friendship" story is not something I come to fma for. (Jokes on me, that was pretty much what the manga and its direct adaptation are all about.) It can be done with some gravitas, but it felt more... Juvenile, simplistic. Still, I liked the "greed doesn't need to be a bad characteristic" bit, regarding the desire for other people in your life. That's about as interesting as it got for me.

Yeah, McDougal is more a vehicle to kickstart the show than he is a character. And yeah, he's an example of how this show regards radical actions against the state without working within said state. But I'm always gonna stan any character that seeks to destroy the seat of power in an empire, even if that character is meant to be an anti-radical strawman. So fuck you, Brotherhood, McDougal was right. He was the single Amestrian war criminal who actually took the correct actions against the institution he once served: he abandoned it instead of reaping the class benefits from its rampant bloodshed (y'know, unlike our "valiant" heroes, Mustang et al), worked to destroy it, and nearly accomplished exactly that.

Paninya! What can I say, I like Paninya. She's clever, fleet of foot, sweet as can be, and a solid fighter too. What's not to love? No version of fma provides enough Paninya content, and that's a bummer. Also, stfu Winry with your "stop stealing" crap. Damn.

Here's where we start to get controversial. The fourth tier:

I know Ling's a core character. I know he's a fan favourite. I know he's meant to be a paragon on what a "righteous ruler" ought to be. I can't yawn hard enough. I don't hate the guy, and he's got enough entertaining moments for me to mostly provide a polite shrug if asked for my overall opinion on this character. But man, the amount of "the system can be good, we just need good rulers/soldiers" that comes packaged with his character arc and its attending themes gives me critical organ failure.

Winry. Oh, Winry. As much as I like having more screentime for her, I just. Ugh. I really dislike how she got written into being the heartbroken white girl who rises above hatred and revenge, as though she is the ultimate victim of the Amestrian genocide of the Ishvalans. She "breaks the cycle" (ugh) because "her hands weren't meant to kill" (ugghhhhhhhhhh). She's still a headstrong, passionate character, skilled in a complex trade, and overall a kind person. I like that about her! But fuckin' YEESH with that brazen ploy to make Scar look less justified in his actions by throwing the Rockbells and Winry into his backstory and ongoing arc. Like Ed, she exists to be Broho's "moral" backbone, which ruins any potential for complex interiority. Also, I don't care about the good-little-future-wife shtick either. I appreciate that she remains an automail mechanic even after starting a family, but I'm bored to tears that this was the ultimate payoff to her narrative.

On paper, Truth and the character-specific Gates are interesting concepts. In execution, Brotherhood manages to render Truth into a rather goofy entity who happens to dole out consequences for alchemic taboos. And my bias is that fma 03's non-personified Truth-as-concept and a Gate that is wholly indifferent to human suffering, and wholly unsolvable > a personified Truth with a circus theme, cracking jokes while waiting for you to solve their grand Riddle.

So I'm putting Greedling as a separate entry from Greed and Ling 1) because he's a different enough character from both while still serving as a vehicle for both of their arcs, and 2) because WOW was I disappointed with the entire twist of Father 'granting' Ling his wish, monkey's paw style. And my disappointment stems largely from the fact that Ling maintains himself. Like. This body snatching ends with a teary friendship speech, Ling getting his body back intact, a philosopher stone, and his seat as the new emperor of Xing. Greedling, as an amalgamated character, never properly feels like a combination of the two, nor does he come with any real downsides or repercussions for Ling (for Greed, the mind reset from being liquidated is where he suffers tragedy, not from being given possession over a human being's body). Oh no, Ling has become Greed! Now he gets to argue with his new homunculus pal in the interim between this minor setback (where he's become physically stronger btw) and getting everything he wanted! Riveting.

Fifth tier: I won't go into every character on the average tier. I don't dislike them, I'm mostly neutral to em. They're fine. Sid, Pinako, Madame Christmas, Trisha, and Sciezka could all stand to be more fleshed out. I have a soft spot for Pinako, and I love the concept of Madame Christmas (the head mistress of a brothel who helps undermine the state? And a grade A hot older, larger woman who isn't designed to hide her age and stature? Hell yeah!) Sciezka's fun for the one episode we see her, but she's just a one-off, unlike her 03 counterpart. Shame. And the kids are cute and inoffensive, and Gracia's there too.

Sixth tier: Brotherhood's famously bloated cast will inevitably have characters that, much like the previous tier, are average due to having very little meat on the bones character- and plot-wise, or whose presence don't ultimately add or detract from the story, BUT! The dedication from those fans who see something more to those characters can really enhance my appreciation for what would otherwise be more additions to the average tier for me. Shoutout to Manfred (of Funny Bido Comics fame) for his lovely comics and artwork centering the Devil's Nest cast. At least now I can look at these guys and fondly think "Fuckin' sweet". As for the military chimera dudes, I wish there was more to them in-canon for me to better enjoy what they could have added to the cast, but while watching Brotherhood it felt like a lot of bloat. Still, charming fanart has managed to make me look at them a bit more favourably. (I should have put this tier above the basal Average tier, but I'm a fool and a charlatan, so.)

Seventh tier: Critters! Not much else to this one. They don't really count as characters per say (Xiao Mei being the closest one I could call a character, kinda), but hey, they're cute. To be honest, this tier should exist outside of the hierarchy since they don't really fall above or below most of the tiers, barring the top and bottom 3.

Eighth tier: The "both sides!" clutch that Brotherhood rests so much of its goddamned weight upon. Great that they helped wounded Ishvalans! Shit that they're not really characters, they're just perfect white martyrs for Winry's and Ed's character arcs, and a repeated shitfest for Scar's arc. Not all Amestrians, but definitely all Ishvalan rebels, amirite Arakawa?

Ninth tier: Compelling is perhaps a strong word here. They could have been compelling. Father, in Brotherhood's vacuum, could be an antagonist rife with symbolism and pathos. The attempt is there. But instead he ultimately feels more like a cardboard cutout that acts as the RPG final big bad. Bradley and Pride are at least more interesting as characters, and I felt Bradley being a human long possessed by the Wrath homunculus worked far better as a concept over Greedling. Overall the Brotherhood homunculi are flat tires, and as I said in the tier name, they're meant to exonerate the military apparatus by being the core problem with it. (Anyone else notice how much more sympathy the narrative gives King Fuhrer Bradley over Scar? He has a WIFE you know. Isn't he so soft? Man, what a good show /s)

Tenth tier: Easily forgettable. I don't even have anything unique to say about most of them. What I can say is: I wish I liked Lan Fan, Barry and Gluttony are whatever, I don't feel pity for the genocidal dictator's wife, and Sloth was a soggy wet fart.

Eleventh tier: The "you are all so thoroughly overshadowed by your 03 counterparts that I can't feel anything but a numb indifference or disillusionment for these versions" tier.

Al just. Feels too prim and quiet here. He disappears in the backdrop of 400 characters vying for screentime once you hit the halfway point of this show and he hardly re-emerges from that point onwards. Even when we switch back to his side of the journey he's overshadowed by everyone around him. Him meeting his dad in Liore, being puppeteered by Pride and his subsequent mutual entrapment with Pride seems to be all I can recall about Al after splitting from Ed in Briggs (until the final showdown with Twink Father). Characterization feels so flat, especially since I've got years of 03 Al lodged in my brain, and that version is just phenomenally written. Sorry but Broho Al inspires nothing for me, and he doesn't leave 03 Al's shadow one bit.

White Rose haunts my nightmares. And having her gush about how grateful she is for Ed showing her "ignorant" ass the True Way Forward (even with the decimation of Liore) with Winry (while the audience gets to ogle Winry taking a bath lmfao) was just. 😐

Calling Brotherhood Rick a "flash in the pan character" would be an overestimation of his extremely brief presence here. I forgot he was even in this show. F

Maria Ross may not necessarily be the most done-dirty of all the mutual characters across the two fma anime, but man, she just doesn't hit the same high notes as 03 Ross. Brotherhood did manage to get me worked up when I thought Mustang had murdered her, but after that was cleared up, she gets bookmarked until she can return as just a cog for the coup to commence. Sure she had this important role in-universe, but overall her actual impact on the core characters and the broader story was negligible. I get it, she's simply not supposed to be That Character in this version (much like Broho Sciezka vs 03 Sciezka). It just sucks seeing her be more formal and uninvolved with the Elrics, unlike her bond with them in the first anime which really made her shine. As it stands, Envy taking on her form to kill Hughes felt like her most memorable contribution to this story lol

WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO YOU, LUST?! OMFG WHY?? I still can't believe this version of her exists. Holy shit, I was not prepared to be so thoroughly rocked by how badly this character was going to be handled. She was nothing more than a sexy henchman with a D Plot about a feigned "relationship" with Havoc (which was a steaming load of nothing btw, since we only see this for one scene that lasts, what, a few seconds?) We get a joke about how much Havoc can't resist her massive titties, replete with water sloshing sound effects and anime jiggle physics, and then she fails to kill a pair of idiots which leads to her getting flambeed to death. All while being horny for Mustang's declaration of Immense Rippling Manhood with strong undercurrents of Monogamous Codependent Dedication for Riza. Just. What the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the actual fu-

Twelfth tier: Fuck these guys. Love how much screentime the characters I beloathed got. Truly stupendous. I don't hate them all equally, but my dislike was palpable every time any of these assholes were on screen. And keep in mind, I hate them most for what they are for the themes, conclusions, and plot of the show far more than merely how I perceive them as individual characters (which doesn't completely eclipse the fact that I also don't like them as characters either lol).

Miles: One of Arakawa's many mouthpieces for her great takes on reforming a racist institution and why radical violent retaliation against an imperial giant is WrongBad. Make the genociders more diverse! "Did ya ever think of JOINING the military so you can CHANGE MINDS in the boonies at a military base on a border with another empire we're warring with, huh Scar? What were you doing while the military was genociding you and our people in Ishval, hm? Why did you fight back instead of making more gains for this monstrous apparatus? Shoulda signed up to be a pig instead of getting blown up, idiot." -Miles

This Ed is a fucking travesty. I cannot believe the monumental poor taste of the fma fandom for seeing this Ed as a better written, more human, worthwhile character than the 2003 version. It's inconceivable! This pompous, chauvinist racist is your guy? He becomes a meat-headed comedy relief character post-Briggs/pre-coup, which is great because I already couldn't take this version of him seriously. You'd think I'd have more to say, but honestly? 03 Edward Elric already exists. Therefore this jackass is fully irrelevant to me.

I waffled between putting Buccaneer in either the 10th tier (Literally Who Cares) or this one, and I thought "Y'know what? If the other core Briggs cunts are in the 12th tier, then why not keep the loyal squad together?" Piglet, nothing more to add.

The fact that the conclusion to Alex Armstrong's character arc was apologizing to his frothing nationalist sister for not doing enough genocide at his country's behest lands this coward here. A coward not for making a (meagre, failed) attempt at saving some Ishvalans, but for being a sniveling aristocratic boot-boy with no principles to compel him to turn away from the source of his family's generational wealth.

Cornello was an inept clown here. An easy "Literal Who" in this version, but hey he still exploits the Liorans for his own gain. With nothing else to his character or place in the story (which is arguably quite redundant given Brotherhood's handling of the timeline of events), the bin is the only place for him.

Shou Tucker. He's a monster, we all hate him, and yet he still committed markedly fewer atrocities, including against children, than any one of your military faves.

Overrated trash Olivier, the peak patriotic liberal wet dream. She's a top-cop who girlbossed her way to a male-dominated field (warmongering and genocide! But "feminist™")! She spouts pseudo-progressive (progressive if you squint and don't have standards) rhetoric while supporting her nation's imperialist agenda! (Optics>material actions, just how libs love it.) She has no qualms with ethnic cleansing but she doesn't see colour, so obviously she's a 'badass' babe who can dommy-mommy you whenever she even deigns to look your way! But she also has a heart of gold, because she cares about the porkchops under her command soooooooooo much! Wow! 🤢🤮

Riza, everyone's waifu (Mustang's, the show's, and yours too). Super cool how Roy committing genocide wasn't a good enough reason to blow his skull into chunks the way she claimed she would if he ever used her father's flame alchemy for ill. Love that she even joined the military so she could gain that sweet, sweet angsty backstory with her main squeeze while slaughtering hundreds of thousands of brown people. She regretted it so much as the carnage was being carried out that she made sure to do an amazing job of sniping Ishvalans! Because she's conflicted and nuanced.

Pfft. Mustang. Refer to the above. And what gets me is, yeah. He (and Riza) are written to be as charming and lovable as possible. They're both practically the unofficial main duo of this show. And I can't stomach these clowns. Love that nepotism will ensure he gets to be fuhrer of Amestris once Riza's grandpappy kicks the bucket. Btw cool eyesight bro, how many alchemically murdered Ishvalans did it cost? :))))))))))))

Guys guys guys, Hughes! He's the best! He'll sign up to murder as many Ishvalan families as it takes to keep his own (at the time hypothetical) family safe (in the militarily dominant imperium for which they were never once in any danger from the ethnically different occupied country)! Good thing Brotherhood and the manga both RESPECT Hughes, unlike the 2003 anime's movie, which made him a racist pro-genocide jerk!

I don't even remember this guy's name. Genocide doctor one.

And genocide doctor two. Marcoh makes up for his unforgivable actions of making philosopher stones out of Ishvalans for the Amestrian government by giving a philosopher stone made out of Ishvalans to the future head of the Amestrian government.

Hey, does anyone recall that scene where Grumman practically Evil Monologues to himself about his chance to snatch the Fuhrership once Bradley is deposed, so that he can run the military dictatorship? No? No one? Not gonna talk about it? Not even the fact that he got exactly what he wanted? Hello?

Envy could have easily been in the tier with Bradley, Pride, and Father, or even the tier with Al, Lust, etc. But the weird pathetic shtick during his demise, where Ed makes a grand speech about how tragic Envy is, after everyone (including Scar because we gotta highlight how ~reformed~ he is) stops Mustang from killing them, and we're meant to sniffle along to the super sad 'nuance' of this character like??? Nah. Super funny how Riza then thanks Scar for making a pacifist speech at Mustang because he helped stop Mustang from "needlessly" killing Envy, when she herself failed to do exactly that in Ishval AND while staining her hands in the blood of innocents. And Ed feeling so much heartrending empathy for Envy, despite Envy having tried to kill him numerous times, they tried to kill his friends and allies, and they had murdered scores of human beings prior to all that. Yet mere moments earlier Ed was offended that Mustang and Riza had him team up with Scar. ... .... .... ....Did I mention how fucking badly this show treats Scar? So anyway I can't feel anything but disdain for this version of Envy, as yet another key point of Brotherhood's oozing hypocrisy.

Only good thing Olivier ever did was kill this guy and bury him in cement. She shoulda jumped in too. What was his name? Raven? Bah, who cares. Obviously screw him and the entire council of politicians surrounding Bradley.

Genocide doctor three.

Kimblee's a no-brainer, he's a proud fascist through-and-through. But you all know he was right about how naive and stupid Riza, Roy, and all the other idealist soldiers were for thinking their job, as a SOLDIER, was anything other than carrying out the orders of their superiors with the utmost violence. Like. You know he's correct about that, and only that, right? Because apparently even Arakawa didn't think he was right about that particular truth either, what with the Good Cop vs Bad Apples bent to her manga. Yeah so anyway, why the hell did we get a "Fuck yeah, humans rock!" speech from this pus-spewing sack of garbage, in support of Ed, after he had been eaten by Pride? Why did we get a friendship speech from fucking Kimblee?!

Disclaimer: Do I think anyone who likes or dislikes the characters I like/dislike are evil? No. Do I think anyone who likes Brotherhood (or the manga for that matter) are evil? No. Do I hate this show? ✨Yes, absolutely.✨

#glad that's done #i'll post my 03 character list once i'm done with the opinion write-up #fma #fmab #mine #meta #vent

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hellcatinnc · 1 year ago

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Uta No Prince Sama - Anime Review

Spoilers Included

I know there is 3 seasons and I have seen the first 2 well almost all of 2. I doubt the thoughts on each character will change much becuase I still see how each ones personality is. I will just update if anything does change and if there is new people I will add as well. This is based on the anime only I have yet to play the game its on my back log list I am sure there will be a different review for it since you get more in depth with each person.

Ichinose Tokiya

This man from the very beginning lit a fire in me. Its weird like there was something in his eyes the moment he first looked at Haruka that made you want to hold him, like he just seemed so lonely. As time goes on and he gets closer to Haruka and even becomes friends with the other guys you see a light in him that unfolds. He no longer looks so alone and hurting he finally has a away to enjoy life on top of doing what he wants most and thats to sing.

To me I feel like he is the charater that just in the first season grows so much outside of Haruka which I think is why I like them together. In the end he saved her when she was in a very bad place in her life without even knowing he had. Then now in her life she has saved him back how is that not show they were meant to be together. Plus when she looks at him and he looks at her its like they are on the same page.

So let me talk more about his character personality well first off he is hot as hell can not deny or leave that one out. Then you go on to see he is very passionate about music, about singing, and about singing Haruka's music only. He is a very loyal man and he comes of sometimes a bit quiet and reserved but once he lets you in you see a much softer side to him. I can't place him as a tsundere because he really never is truly nasty just snips here and there. I still think he is by far the best for her. I think he can take care of her like no other he shows that in just how he is with her.

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Ittoki Otoya

So he seemed like the cutest sweetheart from the beginning and I think not only could be a great love but also a best friend which who wouldn't want in a partner. Not sure I see the passion side of things but he definitely would take care of your heart. Also the point you find out he grew up in like a school for kids because of losing his mom early in life you really get to see how humble he is. He has a compassion for kids which would make him a great father one day. When he looks at her you can see his whole life he could offer Haruka and he would be content in making her happy everyday. His consideration in holding her hand when she needs someone and pulling her close when she is scared makes him such a great choice in love interests.

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Jinguji Ren

Now this man is way more than the eye can see sure he is attractive by all means and his flirtniess sets him on fire. He however is very loyal because the moment he realized he had feelings for Haruka the rest of the ladies falling all over him just didn't matter anymore. Sure he continues to flirt with her but after then he only has eyes for her. He can be quiet jealous but at the same time its how you know he is sincere and that Haruka isn't just some prize but someone actually special to him. He could bring alot of passion to her life including in the bedroom thats not hard to see.

I normally don't like men with long hair but damn he makes it work. He is very loyal to the people he holds close and he hasn't always had a easy life so when you see the layers of him unfold and you get to see he has a genuine heart its not hard to see why he is a great love interest. I love this man will flirt and make comments that is sure to make anyone blush for gods sakes he is super hot and somewhere in his mind you know he knows it but yet he is actually pretty humble about it thats what I like. The way he calls her little lamb and my lady makes you just want to melt and his voice sounds like butter.

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Shinomiya Natsuki

The moment I saw this man I was like damn he is attractive then you get to see he is like this big kid, genuine and sweet as he can be. He loves things cute and adorable and he loves to cook even though he is horrible at it. He sees the brightness in everyone and brings his own as well. You can't look at him without smiling. I honestly think he is genuine as they come and the way he looks at Haruka you can tell he is just happy to be understood by someone and I think he could be a loyal parnter forever.

Now he does have a darker side when his glasses are off but I must say even though he is full of anger during that time he is hot as fuck. Like seriously from cute squishy Natsuki to angry possessive tsundere Natsuki and he is just too damn fine not to notice. Anyways now that I am done gushing over that back to this mans personality. Even when he is in darker mode he still had a chance to hurt Haruka and instead he chose not to this shows no matter how his mind set is he does care for her deeply. I still remember the moment he asks her to be his and tells her he loves her before I think I ever heard anyone else admit it. He warms your heart every time he smiles. He really is a ray of sunshine.

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Cecil Aijima

I thought he would be my favorite cause he can turn into a cat and the way he looks at the world I feel like would be like a cat becomes human so he has that down right. He is cute and I love how he is so open about how he sees things and feels and he is just too cute. I don't know how great of a love interest per say he would be I mean I love cats but cats can be shady at times and lose interest in things that they once loved so whats to say that he wouldn't eventually lose interest in Haruka too. He is an adorable character and who knows as the seasons go on I might take a more liking to him I still prefer him to Syo though.

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Kurusu Syo

Now this man has some anger issues and jealousy routed through him. However even though he is cute you do see he has a softer side but only when its him and Haruka alone any other time he is always competing against everyone to be the only one she sees. Sadly I feel like there is such better options for her that he doesn't quiet shine out as well. I'm also not fond of the love interests that have anger issues because then its like would she always have to worry about going out with him that if someone flirted with her that its not that he wouldn't protect her but would he go over the top and beat the hell out of someone. Its good he is protective and good that when they are alone he is genuine I just feel like as his character he has alot of growing up still to do before I could see him as a life long partner.

#anime #shoujo #shoujo anime #uta no prince sama #uta no prince salem tokiya #tokiya ichinose #nanami haruka #kurusu syo #jinguji ren #shinomiya natsuki #ittoki otoya #fan videos #reviews #review #anime review #fan made #Youtube #cecil aijima #utapri

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quixoticmoth · 1 year ago

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🛰️

🛰 Satellite - Do you have a character who is very dependent on another character? Is it healthy or unhealthy? I do I do. There are a few options: Fate towards Graek'ta, Graek'ta towards Sorano, Kyle towards Mikazuki (and in return). Kyle and Mikazuki's relationship is an organized mess. They've been engaged since they were 21 and 23 (Kyle being the younger), nearly 8 years total, and had known each other since they were in their young teens. But this wouldn't be a case of childhood friends becoming sweethearts, quite the opposite. On the outside, they present as just a slightly disjunctive, but caring hetero couple; in truth, they are a bitterly arranged beard couple between a gay man and a genderless aroace. Kyle relies heavily on Mikazuki to fill this role to save face with his family. Mikazuki is also saving-face with their own family by following through, as much as they hate every aspect of "playing wife". But they'd never cut it off on their own; leaving them effectively trapped by Kyle in a mutually destructive relationship.

They remain in separate houses, only living together a handful of weeks out of the year. It seems when they are together, Kyle enjoys the benefits of having a domestic partner: the companionship, company, affection, and entertainment. From his end, he sees this as an extention of the somewhat-friendship they held in their younger years. One that comes with perks. He still cares about them as a friend, just not enough to acknowledge the pain they're in or calling off the engagement. And he wishes they would stop being so hardheaded and passively-antagonistic.

Mikazuki has never been fooled: not by his hardly considerate displays of affection nor his empty and exaggerated words, and they hope their weaponized passivity and passive-aggressiveness will eventually put him off.

The weapon they hold over him, that they just don't find it in them to use, is the knowledge that he is cheating on them. He thinks he is being sly about it. It's just Mikazuki couldn't care less. And honestly, they'd rather him spend his energy being happy with someone he is actually attracted to and compatible with. It's a shame that when Mikazuki begins to find a friend in a detective, Kyle pretends to take the moral highground in accusing his fiancé of being the unfaithful one. Maybe if they concede it could be the final straw in ending this betrothal, but dragging their new friend into the middle of their domestic affairs as the "other woman" would be too unfair to her or her reputation.

Who knows how this mess resolves itself.

(This rundown didn't even touch on the business aspect of the Takeda's rail company and the Anderson's steel company. That's a whole 'nother layer of why this relationship is too dependent for either of their goods.)

#mentally i am writing #railway ronin

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thememerman · 3 years ago

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Can we just,.,.accept that both Crosshair and Hunter had their reasons for doing what they did?? And honestly neither of them really did anything wrong??

Hunter left Crosshair because he tried to kill them. He didn’t understand anything about the chip, he really thought Crosshair had just lost his mind. And as soon as he learned about it and how to fix it, we immediately jumped to episode 8 where Crosshair tried to incinerate them with a jet engine. He tried to communicate that the chip was affecting him, and Crosshair didn’t care. Hunter couldn’t even get himself or Omega out of that situation unharmed. He had no way to snag Crosshair from his squadron of stormtroopers out for murder. After Bracca, Hunter was focused on getting Omega back because she’s just a kid; she isn’t with the empire, she hasn’t been chasing them down and almost killing them. From Hunter’s POV, the possibility of getting Crosshair to come with them willingly or even at all is looking bleak and even though he knows it’s not Crosshair’s fault, he’s been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the people relying on him safe and right now he doesn’t think Crosshair is relying on him. And honestly, how were they even supposed to know where Crosshair was half the time? He wasn’t on Kamino 24/7 and the Batch isn’t exactly swimming in imperial informants. But that aside, of course he was thinking about Crosshair; Hunter is loyal to a fault and you can just see the emotional pain that flashes across his face whenever Crosshair is mentioned because that’s his little brother and he couldn’t save him and he feels like he failed. Hunter never was and I don’t think ever can be indifferent when it comes to the people he loves. Whether you like it or not, Hunter was trying his best to keep everyone safe and stop running suicide missions because the galaxy was changing and he was trying to change too. He did nothing wrong.

Now Crosshair.

To all of you calling him a Nazi and saying that the animators and writers intentionally lightened his skin just to make a racist show of dominance, stop it. He was referring to their genetic enhancements being superior. That’s it. He’s always hated regs because let’s be fair the regs were never exactly good to him either (AFTERMATH). Now let’s just take a look at how the chip works shall we!! We know from Rex and Wrecker that clones know what they’re doing while under control of the chip and they’re powerless to stop themselves. So we know in Aftermath that the chip was strengthened to an insane degree, and Crosshair could still see himself taking head shots on his brothers and trying to murder them and he couldn’t stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He was powerless. And then the Batch left; at this point he probably understands that his brothers had to go. They’d regroup. They’d know this wasn’t his fault and they’d come back.

Months pass. Crosshair doesn’t know about the solemn looks the Batch exchange when he’s mentioned. Crosshair doesn’t know that they can barely get food for themselves. Crosshair doesn’t know that Wrecker has flat out said he misses him. Crosshair doesn’t know how Tech said “it doesn’t appear he’ll be needing it” with a twinge of sadness in his voice while giving Omega his comm. Crosshair doesn’t know how much Hunter hates himself for leaving and that Hunter was always planning on going back to him someday because someday he’d have the perfect plan and he could save everyone this time. How could Crosshair know?

More time passes. Crosshair probably still has his chip on but he’s still in there, watching himself become more and more important to the Empire. No rescue attempts. Not one. How awful does he have to feel?? They went to get Echo out of Skako with no backup and they didn’t even know Echo and they can’t go back for him? And here’s the Empire, giving him power and some semblance of control. Things are changing fast and now he has nobody but himself to adjust with, and besides, he’s always had an egotistical side so maybe being a commander and putting the regs in their place isn’t so bad to him after all. He’s alone. He adapts or he dies, that’s the job and that’s all he has now.

Onto Bracca!! If Crosshair is telling the truth about getting his chip out, I firmly believe it had to have been after the events of Reunion. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise; “if I wanted you dead, you would be” sweetheart giving the order to have them incinerated and starting to walk away really seems like you wanted them dead and then going from ordering Omega to be executed to telling Hunter that if he cares about her he should let her go and be safe away from them??? You can’t tell me that Bracca!Crosshair wouldn’t have dragged Omega back into the training room and killed her right there just to keep them from choosing her over him. So let’s just assume for now that Crosshair wasn’t lied to and his chip is out (I’m still holding onto a scrap of hope to the contrary because A. there’s no scar B. HE’S STILL HOLDING HIS HEAD and C. my boy isn’t making any SENSE he just killed off a bunch of Imperial stormtroopers to convince the Batch to join his Empire that he cares so much about??) it had to have happened after Bracca I said what I said idc. If the chip is out, I’m sure his head is still an absolute foggy mess because lord only knows what cranking those chips up to full strength several times will do to you, but suddenly he’s realizing that he’s still angry with them. He’s still hurt. He’s still very much alone. Maybe they never cared about him at all.

And don’t get me started on any “if he did any of this willingly he is irredeemable” garbage. How many times did Kallus almost kill the Ghost crew?? I’m sorry, was it not Kallus who ordered the Lasat genocide?? Don’t take this the wrong way, I adore Kallus and his redemption arc was one of the most beautiful things about Rebels but the point is if he can do all of those horrible things for the Empire for years and is still allowed a redemption stemming from realizing everything he thought he was fighting for was a fiction, THEN SO IS CROSSHAIR. With that side note out of the way let’s think about how alone and betrayed Crosshair feels by the Batch and let’s realize that after they left Ryloth, after they left him again, what does he want?? He wants them. He doesn’t want to kill them, he doesn’t want them imprisoned and he doesn’t want to make them pay. He wants to fight side by side with them again, he wants his brothers back. And even though he’s so beyond hope that they still care about him, heck he literally said “don’t make the same mistake twice; don’t make me your enemy” he thinks they were enemies and he still cares about them so freaking much that he went through an entire elaborate scheme to get the whole Batch on Kamino and set up the stormtroopers’ deaths to prove his loyalty that they could have if they just gave him some of their loyalty too. “Loyalty means everything to the clones” is starting to get a really bitter taste innit??

The point of this longwinded rant my friends is to beg y’all to stop being so black and white about these two. They’re both human, they both have made mistakes and have regrets, they’re both trying their best to survive in a galaxy flipped upside down. Things played out how they had to and they’re both victims of the real villain of Star Wars, who has always been Palpatine. The fact that there is so much to unpack with these two characters shows how flipping amazing the writers are!! They’re so layered and complex it’s literally like they’re real!! So please. Stop hating on them so freaking loudly. They’re my boys and they both deserve a warm hug and a nap after the season they’ve had

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tokrev-roses · 4 years ago

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Cool Cool Boy

although you are happy with your love, your ex-boyfriend wants to be a part of your life again. jealous boyfriends and phones involved + NSFW (original request)

��Genre: Smut (Mikey, Draken Chifuyu), Fluff (Baji)

⚠️Warnings: 18+ for everyone but Baji, description of the female body and sexual acts, bad writing/grammar/spelling

👥Characters: Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu, Baji

❧ Keisuke Baji

Fancy dates are not his thing

It was not only that he had a budget, being a middle schooler and everything, he also simply didn’t vibe with it

But it was your anniversary, so he saved up all his pocket money and tried to behave so mama Baji would let him out

Cue to him waiting in front of a popular restaurant for young couples, wearing his edgy street clothes

And to both of your surprise, everything went smoothly

He excused himself to the restroom for a sec, and while you were waiting at your table, daydreaming about the beauty of this evening, someone sat down on Keisuke’s chair

You turned towards the person, fully expecting to see your boyfriend, but were met with a less than pleasant view. Your ex-boyfriend greeted you with a satisfied smirk.

“Enjoying yourself, y/n? You know, I always thought you were one of those girls who loved fancy stuff, considering how much you loved our dates and my presents. That you’d settle for someone who is unable to offer you more than this…” He made a derogatory gesture towards the other tables.

This was no high-end restaurant with view over the Tokyo skyline, but it was Baji who put a lot of effort into this, and it meant more to you than anything else

As you were about to respond, a shadow towered over your ex

“What do you think you are doing her punk?”

“This is the trash you left me for, y/n?”

As he was about to laugh, Baji seized him by the collar, lifted him up, and threw him away like actual trash

Knowing Keisuke, you tried to stop the enraged berserker he was about to turn into. No need for a brawl in the middle of a restaurant

You managed to calm him, nonetheless the manager kindly asked all three of you to leave

Keisuke kept quiet on your way home. You knew why. He actually wanted everything to be perfect, to show you how much you meant to him and it was ruined by his temper and a slimy asshole

„♪Kei-Su-Ke♪“, you poked the dimples of your grumpy boyfriend. “I loved this evening. Minus that idiot, but that was none of your fault.”

“Hm.”

He kept walking.

Ok, you’d have to bring the big guns in

With two big steps you were behind him to give him the strongest back hug possible

“Ya, you punk. Wanna pick a fight?”, your effort to imitate his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“As if a small fry like you could win against me.”

With that you knew the ice was broken. What you didn’t expect was him turning around fast as lightening, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

You tried to scream but it ended in heartful laughter

A perfect anniversary indeed.

❧ Manjiro Sano

(Future!Mikey, Dark-Haired)

King of jealousy and most possessive out of all the boys, so you can imagine his reaction as you told him your ex-boyfriend visited you at work

The mood instantly shifted

“Come on, Manjiro. He didn’t ask me to marry him or anything.”

This joke was not appreciated by him, and he stayed broody for the rest of the evening

You should have known that he was up to something as he suddenly became very touchy with you, but you pinned it on his neediness

Things got even stranger when he didn’t let you touch or pleasure him, but instead kept making you feel like wax between his fingers

It wasn’t just the way he abused your neck with longing kisses or how he caressed the sides of your body with featherlight touches as he made his way downwards. Not the way he fondled your breasts with the utmost care, kissing and sucking your nipples until you couldn’t keep your whimpers from spilling.

The satisfied smile he gave you as you made the first sound should have shown you that there was more to it, but you were so lost in pleasure, that you really didn’t care

Things got worse (or better) for you as he reached your most intimate spot

If he was skilled at pleasuring you before, he was a god at doing so today.

White pleasure blinded you as his velvet tongue explored every part of you. Every moan and whimper you gave him was met with a pleased hum that vibrated through your body.

When you couldn’t stop your own need from feeling every part of him on you, you used your hands in his dark hair to push him closer to you.

Instead of understanding your silent plea like he usually would, he just kept going and going until your vision got blurred by tears and your voice was hoarse.

Only then he let you go, mumbling something you were too tired to understand.

You slept well that night, with Mikey hugging you loke a koala

It was only when you looked at your phone the next morning, that you realized what he had done.

A chat with your ex-boyfriend, who must have written you last evening about going out for dinner, cough your eye. Your answer, which you definitely didn’t send, consisted of a 30 second audio.

Innocent you played it, of course, and it took you a second to realize what exactly you were hearing.

That was you. You, moaning in ecstasy. You were frozen in place an listened all the way through it

The audio ended with a raspy voice you knew all too well

“She is busy with me.”

❧ Ken Ryuguji

Your phone was broken.

It did not show you, who tried to call you and called people you never meant to call. That’s why instead of putting it in your pockets, it usually laid somewhere beside you. Like today as you were cooking dinner for your finance who was about to come home from his bike shop very soon

The last days had been a bit stressful, he had a lot to do, couldn’t spend any time with you and you went to meet your ex-boyfriend for coffee, as he himself was about to get married soon

Ken tried to be understanding, but the amount of your time this past fling consumed annoyed him

That’s why he wanted to make up for lost time this evening

He didn’t hesitate when he saw you standing in the kitchen, stirring something in a pan and looking so perfect

On swift move and the giant had placed you on the counter, standing between your spread legs, face buried in your neck

“Well, someone seems eager.”

He wasn’t willing to waste time with your teasing but begun to assault your lips

Heavy breathing filled the room as he cupped your chin with one hand and tried to get rid of your clothes with the other

Your bodies soon met with a pleasurable sensation, moving in synch.

You held on to him like your life depended on it, ankles hooked behind his back

He wasn’t one to moan, but his heavy breathing had something so unexplainable erotic to it, that it made up for the missing foreplay

One couldn’t be without the other and if it wouldn’t have been for the laws of nature, you would have said that your brains your hearts and your pleasure became one

Sweat made the counter slippery, and your voice became raspy as you finally reached your high together

“Well, hello there.” You could literally hear the smirk on his lips as he said this.

“…hello?”

You thought you were hallucination from your post-orgasmic bliss as you heard another voice talking to the both of you. But Ken’s shocked face as he looked towards your phone woke you up

It couldn’t be that your phone called your ex-boyfriend, right?

Right??

❧ Chifuyu Matsuno

It’s not like Chifuyu needs your attention all the time, but he kinda needs it when he wants it you know?

And today he really needed it

He had given the shop into the hands of his partner, Kazutora, to spend some time with you, as a surprise

The thing with surprises was, that they usually came at the worst times

His mood went downwards as he came home and instead of giving him a confused hug, asking him why he was home already, you were on the phone with god knows whom

He thought you’d end the call soon, so he gave you some space, but as you kept laughing 30 minutes after he arrived, he got annoyed, to say the least.

He didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation, but your constant laughter, bickering and smiling made him…curious

It seemed like your former high school sweetheart had called to “remember the good old times”, and although it wasn’t like him at all, he slowly but surely felt anger bubbling inside of him.

You had settled for the couch, and although the other party was on the phone, he felt the need to touch you, so he laid down between your legs, head resting on your stomach

You, of course, noticed the sour mood hanging in the air (not just because he followed you around like a lost puppy while you were phoning this old friend of yours)

So you petted his hair, knowing it would calm him

But the time for appeasement was over, at least for Chifuyu. He knew that you knew that he wanted you to hang up, yet you didn’t

It started as an innocent kiss on your stomach, which you answered with a silent chuckle, shaking your hand to signal him to stop

That he ignored it would be an understatement

Something you realised as he started caressing your intimate part through your clothes

As your friend on the other side was continuing to tell you about his life, your attention was captured by the innocent puppy-dog eyes your boyfriend gave you as he got rid of the annoying layers keeping him from feeling you

He began giving you kitten licks, that literally took your breath away. Good for you, the other man didn’t notice

Chifuyu, that devil, knew what he was doing, keeping eye contact with you while doing the most sinful things to you

It got worse as he took your pearl between his soft lips and started sucking

You had to press your fist on your mouth to keep any sound from spilling

He continued his assault with a steady pace, and you wanted him to stop as much as you wanted him to continue

“Y/n, are you still there?”

You hadn’t noticed that the excited voice on the phone had stopped

Faster than you could react, Chifuyu had snatched your phone away from you.

His breath tickled your now wet parts as he answered

“Something came up just now, and she needs to come. Try again, pal.”

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers mikey #tokyo manji revengers #draken x reader #ken ryuguji x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu matsuno x reader #baji x reader #keisuke baji x reader #tokyo revengers baji #tokyo revengers draken #tokyo revengers chifuyu

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

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ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + RYŌMEN SUKUNA || WITH A CHUBBY S/O

| featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sakuna from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors and a lot of my side comments

| form : headcanons

| published : 23 november

| request : Hello! I would like to order jujutsu kaisen headcanons? Can I please have a large “itadori, megumi, gojo, and sukuna with a chubby s/o”? Thank you!

| barista’s notes : hiya! it is now 2:15am in the uk and now the end of my night shift ʕ·ᴥ·˵　ʔ i wanted to remind you guys that all of you are beautiful in every way, no matter what body type you have and like i will say on one of the headcanons, i believe the only time we get to judge someone is by their character once we truly get to know them (if you disagree then please don’t bash me on this - i got a few comments once i said this out loud to someone ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ) but i hope you enjoy this cup of classic black coffee and please come again soon! goodnight everyone, get some good rest all of you! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

ITADORI YUJI:

To be honest, I don’t think any of the boys will care that you are chubby - each and every one of us is beautiful physically, it’s our character that should be perceived in my opinion.

I don’t think Itadori would even mention about your chubbiness at all, but rather he would appreciate the little things that you do that intrigued him.

Like the way you write so neatly or the way, you would eat fish.

It’s the little things that he appreciates about you rather than your physical appearance.

However, if you were to comment about how you looked negatively, Itadori will immediately say the opposite because he genuinely knows that you are beautiful inside and out.

“Why am I so ugly? Ughh”

“Babe, stop, stop, stop, you are the most beautiful, caring and loving person I know. Please don’t put yourself down like that ever!”

Most likely, you would crush him into a hug because what he just said is the sweetest thing in the whole world - girl I would lowkey breakdown and cry, like….ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ

This boy will also feed you a lot of foods that had been introduced to him in Tokyo - this boy went on a food tour since he got to the capital.

Beef, sushi, burger, ramen, udon, you name it, he is taking you there to eat.

Of course, he would introduce you to them slowly because he knows that you have some likes and dislikes to food like any other person.

“Babe, this ramen is really good, the broth is so rich and the noodles are so chewy”

“Babe, you should try this waffle, it’s really good and sweet”

To be honest, he loves it when you wear his jumpers because no matter what you would look cute with whatever body type you have.

You just look so cuddly to him.

In conclusion; don’t worry how he thinks about you physically because to be completely honest, he really doesn’t care one single bit.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI:

Like I said before, he really doesn’t care what you look like physically if you have an unshakeable character, there is nothing more he could ask for remember?

To be honest, I think he really likes the fact that you are a bit on the chubby side - you’re basically the perfect pillow for him hehe~

He really likes to cuddle you and feel the warmth that is emitted from you, he just feels really safe in your arms and if you are in his arms, he feels like he is protecting you from the world.

At the end of missions, the team realises that he scrolls on his phone quite a bit more than he usually does, making them wonder what he was doing.

Basically, he texting you, asking if you have eaten or not making sure that you weren’t doing some stupid diet that you found on the internet.

If you haven’t eaten, he would order takeout when he would finish his own meal with his team and maybe add a few snacks here and there.

If you have eaten, Fushiguro will most likely ask for a photo of the meal that you have eaten or a picture of the dishes in the sink or on the drying rack.

Yes, man needs evidence - he really cares about you, you know, it’s really sweet.

There are also times where you would put on an outfit and just stare blankly at the mirror, leading to Fushiguro to quickly say something before you fill your mind with downgrading comments - girl if I slap that head of yours….

“You look really beautiful today,”

And he would look at you in the eye when he says this to you.

Those little comments he says to you really put you in a better mood even though he thinks they don’t make much of a difference.

He’s just saying what is on his mind - he really does find you beautiful. You are beautiful to him.

Overall, expect him to say little compliments every now and then as well as a lot of text messages - he’s just checking up on you, you better reply soon before he spams you.

GOJO SATORU:

This man doesn't really give a damn on what you look like - no matter what he would still tease you to no end still.

He would come back with a lot of sweet souvenirs to share with you since he knows that sweets with a cup of tea really hits the both of you after an exhausting day.

He would always let you pick first on what you want to eat first and on the sidelines would comment on what he would recommend you trying if it’s the first time you tried one of the snacks he bought home.

He really likes to see you eat as you would always have that small smile once you take a bite on what you’re eating - if you are happy, he is happy.

If you comment on anything that you hate about your body, he would place a few cheeky kisses on the area that you have commented - it really doesn’t matter what area you are talking about mate.

“Are my hips too wide? Should I get a waist trainer?”

“Babe come here right now...”

And he would say that in a very stern tone - so you better go to him sweetheart before he drags you to him.

Expect a lot of cafe/dessert place dates with him, once again he would introduce you to his favourite flavours and he would buy your favourite flavours as well to try for himself.

You two seem like the couple that would share a milkshake - you know like the retro 90s theme cafe with the tall glass.

If anyone tries to say something about your appearance, I don’t think they would have the chance to even say what they would have said since they would feel knives being pointed at their heads or back - aka Gojo’s death stare with his shiny blue eyes.

In conclusion: he would kiss any part of your body that you hate and keep reminding you that you are beautiful in any way but feeding you sweets because why the hell not.

RYOMEN SUKUNA:

Sukuna, Sukuna, Sukuna, this man will be the death of me.

I think he would be a little aggressive when he tells you not to worry about his appearance.

Like if you say something that is completely negative about yourself, he would grab your chin and make you face him.

He would probably have an irritated tone as he reminds you that he isn’t with you because of how you look, but who you are as a person.

“Stop saying that you’re ugly, you are a sight to behold, anyone that what’s looks at you should ask for permission first before they are blessed with the sight of you”

Girlllllll, I’m blushingggggggg~

You interest him because you have an interesting and captivating personality and to be honest, I have an idea that he loves the fact that you are chubby.

Because that means he has more areas to mark you as his hehe~

You know that Sukuna’s love language is physical touch/affection, so he would just love to touch your body with no hesitation - probably roams his hands around as well

During a makeout, don’t be surprised when he would grip some part of your body - most likely your thigh, hip, neck, face, basically anywhere at this point.

He would probably leave a lot of open kisses upon your skin as a way to physically tell you that he loves all parts of you.

Sometimes, he would probably make you wear the other layer of his kimono because you would look so adorable and mostly like delicious to him - HAHAHA WHAT DID I JUST TYPE?!

If the both of you are cuddling, Sukuna will most likely caress any part of your body or trace his finger on your skin to feel every bump and trace every stretch marks before telling you that are you beautiful.

In conclusion; Sukuna will tell you physically on how much he loves your body and how much he really worships it (well...he won’t admit it but you can slowly tell over him)

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hermannsthumb · 3 years ago

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Okay but what about Hermann is just horny 24/7, but he's repressing his feelings. And Newt who sees it and maybe is enjoying a bit. And one day Newt just pins Hermann to a lab wall, ties his arms with a belt or sleeves of his shirt and teases Hermann until he melts in his hands. And Newt murmurs to Hermann something like "sweetheart, you could have just said.." This thought makes me DEAD

a fic! somewhat obviously rated 18+/not for kids' eyes!!!!! so all hidden below the cut, lmfao. dedicated to people on side twitter bc boy do I love some light d/s + nerm

It’s not like Newt’s never looked at Hermann before. Look-looked, in like, a sexy, considering way. It gets lonely in the lab with just the two of them, after all, and usually Hermann is the only face Newt will see for hours, days, one memorable occasion when they were super-swamped with work, a week. His face is the only one that comes to mind when Newt wants to have sexy thoughts for that reason—it’s just, like, easier and takes less imagination to masturbate to the thought of the guy you see every day than anyone else. And Hermann is kind of hot, Newt guesses, in a weird, repressed nerd kind of way. He thinks it has something to do with not knowing what Hermann's bothering to repress so bad. Maybe he's got a hot bod under all those layers or sucks dick like a porn star or something. Or he's hiding how horny he is all the time and would love nothing more than to cut loose for once. (Newt would be happy to take one for the team!) It's gotta be that, because Newt can't imagine why else the thought of Hermann—scowling and hunching over a chalkboard in one of his god-awful tweed blazers—gets him so goddamn riled up every time he sticks his hand down his pants.

Whatever the appeal is, Newt's masturbatory fantasies tend to tilt towards very particular (and well-loved) scenarios: Hermann finally gets fed up with Newt’s obnoxious behavior and shoves him against a wall to teach him a lesson, or Hermann holds Newt down on a bed or the lab couch or the floor and has his way with him to teach him a lesson, or Hermann grips Newt’s shoulders and uses his mouth in any way he sees fit to teach him a lesson. Newt's real into the idea of Hermann being in control. Or, in other words, Hermann doing the doing, Newt doing the taking. Not that Newt is adverse to topping. He'd be down for it if Hermann was. (And not that Newt spends a lot of time considering what Hermann is down for, and whether or not letting Newt top him is on that list, but yeah, Newt does kind of hope it would be.)

He's just...always assumed Hermann would want things that way. Newt's kind of assumed that he would want them that way, too.

All of his preconceived sexy notions about Hermann come crashing down around him one completely ordinary day in the lab.

It happens in a flash, too. A couple of seconds max. Hermann is over in Newt's space (he flagrantly disobeys the tape line more than Newt does, no matter what he may claim), shouting at him about something dumb and waving his cane around for dramatic effect. Only he's not looking where he's waving it, and the end of it comes into contact with a vial of some somewhat lethal weird kaiju gland extract that Newt's been planning on experimenting with this week, and the whole thing fuckin' shatters. "Shit!" Newt says, at the same time Hermann says "Bugger," and, before Newt knows it, Hermann's reaching out to save a pile of Newt's lab notes from certain kaiju gland death.

Which is royally stupid of him. That stuff is already eating through Newt's wooden work bench like it's nothing—God knows what it'd do to Hermann's skin. Newt's messy notes are not worth it.

"Dude, no," Newt exclaims, and grabs Hermann's wrist to stop him.

And Hermann...moans.

They stare at each other. The kaiju gland extract drips to the metal floor, where it sizzles harmlessly.

Hermann pulls his arm away.

"Clean this up," he snaps. He turns heel and storms out, giving Newt a spectacular view of the fiery red flush spreading down the back of his neck.

Huh, Newt thinks. That's something new.

-----

"I'm not some sort of sexual deviant," Hermann assures him. "I have. Er. Entirely respectable—tastes. Typically."

"Uh-huh," Newt says.

"Only this is quite out of character for me," Hermann says.

Newt pulls his tie taut around Hermann's wrists to watch Hermann squirm and grins, just a little, before knotting it loosely. "No offense, Hermann," he says, "but bondage isn't exactly hardcore. Besides, it's fine if you like out-there kinda stuff. No judgement."

“But I don’t,” Hermann says.

“I’m not saying you do,” Newt says, “I’m saying—”

“And this isn’t bondage.” Hermann sniffs. “Bondage sounds—”

"Look, dude, do I need to gag you?" Newt jokes.

Except Hermann maybe doesn't get the joke: his eyes widen, and mouth hangs open. Not exactly the shouty, loud response and demand for respect Newt was expecting. Also something new. Newt's learning a lot of very, very unexpected things about Hermann, and part of him wishes he had a notebook or his tape recorder on hand to take inventory of all of it. Subject A (Hermann Gottlieb) likes having his wrists pinned and his big dumb mouth shut up. Conclusion: ? "I—I beg your pardon?" Hermann says.

Today marks a week after the kaiju gland incident. A week of furtive glances across the tape line, Hermann's badly-hidden blushes, and Newt reevaluating every single goddamn thing he's ever thought or assumed about the guy (and himself, to be honest), and Newt was finally the one to snap. In Newt's defense, it wasn't totally out of the blue. At lunch time an uncharacteristically quiet and bashful Hermann slid a cup of coffee onto Newt's desk, mumbling something about how Newt really needed to get more sleep, and Newt just...

Hermann didn't moan when Newt grabbed his wrists that time; his tongue darted out over his lips, and he looked at Newt through the dark eyelashes of his half-mast eyelids. "Please," he had said.

Newt gets why Hermann was being so weird and cagey about it, he really does. It’s hard to admit to yourself you want something kinda embarrassing, and Newt knows it’s just as embarrassing for Hermann to like him as it is for Newt to like Hermann. Newt’s weird, and small, and probably smells bad, and Hermann’s weird, and smells bad (cigarette smoke and moth-eaten sweaters, but Newt jerks off to it anyway, huh, doesn't he), and is slightly not as small. But holy shit, if he didn’t melt into a puddle when Hermann breathed that out all desperately, like it took all he had.

“Do you want me to gag you?” Newt says.

He’s using the skinny tie Hermann claims to hate so much on his wrists, or he might’ve seriously balled up the fabric and shoved it into Hermann’s mouth. There’s not much else in the way of gags readily on hand in the lab, no fabric scraps or anything like that. Maybe they’ll try it later. He kisses Hermann instead, slipping his tongue past those open lips, and Hermann parts them wider with a throaty groan. "Ah, Newton—"

Newt didn’t really expect their first kiss to go like this. He didn’t expect their first kiss to, like, happen in the first place, but it’s especially weird that it’s happening while Hermann is bound up and pressed up against his chalkboard. Newt's been keeping an eye on Hermann's leg, careful of any sign that it's going to give out and that they should move this to the couch, but Newt's knee between both of Hermann's seems to be all the support he needs. “I’m here, dude,” he says, and slips down to press a gentle kiss to Hermann’s jaw instead, then his neck. Hermann tilts his head back with another groan; he flexes against his restraints.

Is Newt the first person Hermann's ever done this with? Or trusted enough to tell he wants to do this?

The possibility kinda just makes this all hotter to Newt. He drags the tips of his fingers up Hermann's chest, feeling his heart pound through the thick layers of his button-down and sweatervest, and drags them back down. He stops just at Hermann's bound wrists. Hermann groans softly. "Do you want me to touch you more?" Newt says.

"Please," Hermann says, "ah, please, Newton—"

Newt does, smiling as he curls up on the toes of his boots and presses another kiss to Hermann's mouth. His right hand, he uses to ruck up Hermann's sweatervest and dig under his shirt; his left hand, he curls the fingers of in Hermann's skinny tie bindings to tug sharply. Hermann's chest is bony and warm beneath his palm. His heart is beating faster, and faster. "Please," Hermann begs again, and this time when Newt kisses him, he sags against Newt helplessly.

"Hermann," Newt murmurs. Hermann's breath is fogging up his glasses and making it difficult for him to see. Which is a goddamn shame, because Newt wants to, like, memorize the image of a flushed and panting and begging Hermann, tattoo it to his skin forever as a reminder of today, a whole big splash of color on his back where he was planning on putting another kaiju. Yeah, Newt takes back what he said earlier, Hermann isn't just kinda hot—he's very hot. He drags his tongue over Hermann's pulse point, and says, just as gently, "Hermann, you could've just said."

Newt would've done anything for Hermann when he grabbed Hermann's wrists and Hermann breathed out a simple please, and Newt would do anything for Hermann now. Newt would get every single tattoo removed if it meant making Hermann happy. He bites down on the sweaty, pale skin of Hermann's neck, unable to hold back a moan of his own when Hermann's whole body writhes with it, and shoves his hand down Hermann's oversized slacks.

"I want you to come," Newt mumbles, rubbing at him furiously, "I want you to come, I wanna make you come, I wanna—"

Hermann muffles his cry in Newt's shoulder when he does. Newt waits until he's stopped shaking to untie his wrists carefully, and isn't surprised when Hermann immediately grabs Newt's shoulders to steady himself. (Hermann thighs are still trembling from the awesome orgasm Newt gave him. It's pretty hot. But also, Newt should probably grab his cane for him.) "You—you've made a terrific mess of me," Hermann sniffs, vaguely annoyed, like he's reprimanding Newt for knocking a piece of kaiju intestine on the floor again.

Newt decides not to mention to Hermann that he kinda soaked the knee of Newt's jeans, too. He can do laundry later. "Sorry, man," Newt says, but Hermann gives another, happier sniff when Newt kisses his cheek. "I'll take care of it."

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag

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musclesandhammering · 3 years ago

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Non-Controversial Loki Headcanons for These Trying Times

1.) Loki has had dozens of Midgard-based aliases over the years, for no other reason than the fact that he was bored and it was funny. DB Cooper was one of them. Hank Williams was another. He may or may not have even pretended to be a vampire at some point.

2.) Loki can definitely sing. Not just in a funny ironic way, but like.. he actually enjoys singing. It shouldn’t even come as a surprise considering he’s such a fine arts nerd, but yeah. He plays the guitar too. Surprisingly folksy.

3.) Loki’s rooms in Asgard literally look like a witch’s lair. I mean straight up spooky. All dark earth tones, spellbooks strewn everywhere, runes drawn on the walls to keep certain big brothers from messing with things they have no business messing with, vials of poisonous stuff sitting on every available surface, shelves full of strange little trinkets and talismans, a dramatic ass medieval-looking bed, a whole ass cauldron… and then in the corner on a stand there’s his Hank Williams Guitar aasdfghhjkl-

4.) When people call Loki a witch, they’re not joking. He’s. Like. An actual stereotypical, like.. witch. He doesn’t just do finger wavy magic- he mixes potions, he does rune work, he recites spells, he has a cauldron.

5.) He also used to dress super witchy. Used to. Past tense. I’m talking black nail polish, lots of necklaces, rings, eyes makeup (ok maybe I wouldn’t go that far, but Loki in eyeliner would be pretty hot, right?), clothes that were like.. 15% scarier yet more fashionable than the ones he wears in canon. The only reason he toned it down was because someone whose opinion he cared about (it was Thor) made a joking comment about his appearance looking “wicked” or “evil” and it made him feel self conscious, so he changed how he dressed. :(

6.) He was rocking the whole short hair look years before Thor in Ragnarok. In fact, by pre-canon Loki’s standards, his hair in Thor 1 was even a bit too long. He did this because a.) he hates how his natural curls soften him and will do anything to get rid of them and b.) in Asgard short hair wasn’t really worn by noblemen because it symbolised servitude, so this was Loki’s subtle way of being defiant and deviating from the norm.

7.) As Frigga said in Endgame, Loki is very good at sneaking. Even when he’s not trying to. There have been many-an-accident in the Palace of Asgard because he unintentionally almost gave Thor a heart attack.

8.) Loki and Thor weren’t always at each other’s throats. They actually got along pretty well up until Odin started planning for the coronation. Loki was still jealous of the way Thor was treated compared to the way he was treated, but he knew that wasn’t Thor’s fault- not really. And Thor was still arrogant and entitled, but that was mostly directed at other people and not his own family, so while Loki knew about Thor’s character flaws, it didn’t really effect him personally. When the planning started, though, Thor gradually became even more superior and insufferable than normal, and Loki became even more bitter and unsettled, and their relationship just kind of went downhill from there.

9.) Loki absolutely joined the Mile High Club with that flight attendant from the first episode of the show. Her name was Florence and she was adorable, Loki thought so too.

10.) Loki’s the only person on Asgard who can beat Volstagg at an eating competition. He has a giant’s metabolism, after all. And, contrary to his elegant and refined tastes in most other areas, he’s actually a straight-up carnivore. I mean he eats other foods too, obviously, but meats are by far his favourites. Boar, fish, poultry, steak. Just meats. He doesn’t know it, but this is because frost giants are mostly carnivorous.

11.) His relationship with the Warriors 4 was always split down the middle. He and Sif always hated each other. Hogun never trusted him and Loki never had any interest in spending time with Hogun. Fandral and Volstagg, on the other hand, were always much nicer and Loki always sort of considered them his friends as well as Thor’s. This is why they were more reluctant to believe that he’d let the frost giants in in Thor 1.

12.) I refuse to believe Loki doesn’t have at least one tattoo somewhere. Probably more. Probably of a snake. The only parts of his body we didn’t see naked in Episode 1 were his thighs, lower back, knee area, pelvic region, and the back of his neck. So it’s gotta be in one of those places. (Might I suggest: snake thigh tattoo, tiny nape tat, goth tramp stamp lol, rune tat behind his ear, Norse mythos leg tat, badass above-dick tattoo).

13.) Loki’s prickly and insecure and has layers like an onion, but once you get to the point of actually being friends with him, he’s a total sweetheart. I mean a literal smol dork. A bit hyperactive and excitable, but still very very soft. It’s because he’s had so few actual friends in his life.

14.) Sometimes Loki only goes a few days before his gender changes, sometimes he stays one gender for years at a time. And he tends to shapeshift his body to match. That being said, one of his biggest pet peeves is how his other-gendered clothes get all dusty and musty when they have to stay in the closet for long stretches of time. So he’s taken to wearing luxurious gowns around the house when he’s in his male form. You know, just to air them out.

15.) Loki hates sleeping with people. Sex is fine, but he’s just so solitary and paranoid that he’s never been comfortable sleeping in a bed with another person. This may or may not have gotten him in trouble a few times when his partners woke up and found him gone lol.

16.) Laufey is actually incredibly similar to Loki, the way Odin is very similar to Thor. He prefers smaller blades (ice daggers), he’s very analytical and calculating, he’s very calm and non-confrontational even when he’s in a stressful situation, and tbh he seems like a better king than Odin- much like Loki probably would’ve been a better kind than Thor. (Whoopsie this one’s a bit controversial)

17.) Loki adores animals! …But he’s also a bit obsessive about keeping his environment clean. Not organised, per se, just clean. And animals tend to be hairy and slobbery and feathery and slimy and poopy and dirty, so he’s never been able to have a pet. He just takes a lot of nature walks to compensate :)

18.) All jotuns are naturally intersex, including Loki. This is a bit unusual for Asgardians, but because Loki is genderfluid and a natural-born shapeshifter- and has always had a tendency to change his body parts around as his gender changes (male, female, both, neither)- he’s never had a reason to find it very odd. In hindsight, that was one of the many eccentricities that should have made him realise something was a little fishy with his “asgardian” genetics.

19.) The snake + stabbing story from Ragnarok was nowhere near as nefarious as Thor made it seem. What actually happened was: Someone accidentally mixed a real knife in with the blunted practice knives. Thor and Loki didn’t know this, of course, and when they were playing a battle game, Loki ended up with the real knife. When Loki “won” and went to “vanquish his enemy” he ended up actually stabbing Thor for real. They were both hysterical and it took longer to calm Loki down than his brother. It ended up just being a flesh wound, though, so everything turned out fine.

20.) A lot of people think Loki discovered his “secret passageways between worlds” from TDW through some sort of inter-realm questing or magical study or something, but in reality, he discovered them when he was like 16 and desperately trying to find a way to sneak out of Asgard without Heimdall telling his parents.

Tagging @natures-marvel & @little-s-creampuff for expressing interest. Thx for listening to my mad ravings lmao <3

#I have so many more of these it’s unreal #my musings #loki headcanons #loki laufeyson #frosty bby #long post #loki series #Thor ragnarok #thor the dark world #thor 2011 #Thor #language tw

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jesswritesthat · 4 years ago

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Hey, so I know this is silly, but I've always had hair on my stomach, back and chest(not a lot, just there if you look) and I'm a female, so it makes me very insecure. Can I have a fluffy slightly nsfw scenario/headcanons where tsukki, kuroo, yams and kenma comfort their s/o about it during their first time? I don't know if that made any sense. Sorry for wasting your time!

A/N: This is not silly at all! It’s so cute to write, thank you for bestowing me with this anon. It’s my attempt at anything nsfw-ish so (please forgive) I hope I can do your request justice.

Also, you are gorgeous and the right person will love you no matter what, even if you don’t sometimes. 💕

Warnings: insecurities, vague nsfw hints (characters aged up)

>>>>——————————>

Kuroo Tetsurō:

• The Captain was careful when crossing your boundaries so it was perfectly consensual to be sitting in his lap like this with his lips leaving pleasure on your lips and neck.

• Until his skilled fingers tips gracefully glide up your spine underneath your clothing - you nearly falling off and onto the floor of not for his fast reflexes.

“I knew you’d fallen for me, but you didn’t have to physically prove it (Y/n)~”

“You- you didn’t feel anything did you?”

“Um...?”

• That second he knew something was up, startled jump or not. So you explained how you had a thin layer of hair covering various areas of your body and how you felt about it. Of course, Tetsurō listened thoroughly, thumb running up and down your forearm in a comforting manner.

• "It's like 'peach fuzz', it's cute and soft.” Kuroos’ smile was innocent, factual knowledge he’d picked up from somewhere but it was unexpected to you.

"That's not... I don't know what I wanted to hear but..."

"I don’t know what to tell you, I adore every inch of you, I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Love you like I do - so I’ll have to show you.”

• And oh he did. His touches remained gentle this time, rough strokes quickly amending themselves into loving caresses that left your back arching.

• There was no remaining thoughts to linger on your insecurities, far too consumed with believing everything Kuroo had told you mere moments ago.

• “Maybe I should call you peachy from now on? For multiple reasons, primary one being you’re sweet.” Hovering over you, his husky voice and scheming smirk left you pushing him away with faux annoyance.

“I hate you Kuroo.”

“No, I’m kidding sweetheart! Please, love me~”

Tsukishima Kei:

• Intimacy became natural with time, both growing comfortable in one another presence - especially once pinned to his bedroom wall. However, the quietest pleas of “Wait, wait.” left Tsukishima pulling away from you in concern as your hands darted to pull the tips of his fingers from nearly breaching your stomach.

“I’m not - I have - I’ve always had small hairs in that area.”

• It was a moment of silence, the Middle Blocker raising a bemused brow before shaking his head.

“I don’t care (Y/n).”

“...oh.” Sensing your anxieties, your boyfriend (attempted to) amended his bluntness.

“Look, I mean it doesn’t bother me. You’re still you.” Kei was hesitant when he’d spoken, being better with action rather than meaningful words even at 18. So it was a forehead kiss that accompanied them.

• Things grew heated once more, warm hands exploring what clothes were made to hide and you couldn’t say you didn’t enjoy it. His movements didn’t hesitate when grazing areas you’d deemed less favourable, nor was any pleasure lost wherever he went.

• "Dinosaurs were covered with scales, feathers and potentially fur and I love those. I don't see the problem."

"Are you saying I'm a dinosaur Kei?" Though a try at reassuring you, it left a curious look on your features and the quiet mumbles of an explanation following left you melting underneath him once more.

"I'm saying that I love you... no matter what..."

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

• This boy is already as nervous as it gets, it’s at times like this he wishes he could ask his upperclassmen for advice - but being a third year means he is the upperclassman.

• It’s when you gasp mid way through undressing, his fingers retreating from caressing your skin as you wrap your arms yourself.

“Sorry (Y/n)! What did I do wrong, are you uncomfortable? We can st-“

“No, it’s not you Tadashi. I just - I got a bit self conscious...”

• Yamaguchi paused momentarily, eyes gracing your body before meeting yours in pure admiration with a hint of concern.

“You know I think you’re beautiful, what... what is it?”

“My hair, it’s there.” A vague general gesture hovered over your torso, unable to meet the soft gaze of your boyfriend.

• “Don’t worry, it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“Yamaguchi, I know but still.”

“(Y/n), you don’t mind my freckles right?”

“What?! No, I think they’re beautiful - why would-“ You almost seemed offended, a bubbling anger surfacing at how he found fault in himself as you argued back.

“Exactly.”

Oh. That was his perspective too.

• How could you not kiss him after that, Yamaguchi being caught off guard at first but soon melding into your warmth. Falling back onto his bed and gladly bring you down with him.

• Admittedly, more than understanding was shared in those delicate moments, hot touches reaffirming that every part of you was intoxicating with honey-like whispers drowning out any insecurities for the night.

———

[Masterlist]

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

Text

into you - tom hardy smut

The one where you help him read his lines and things get slightly out of script

Warnings: smut, no foreplay, unprotected sex

A/N: This was another Hardy request I received not so long ago. I ended up going with a PA again 🤷‍♀️ Also, I think I might end up investing in these banners more than those moodboards for my fics, lmk what y’all think 🤔The moodboards just take forever to make and these last few I’ve made were simply terrible, in my opinion 😂

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“You in there, love?” The smile on my lips was instantaneous, the last traces of sleepiness vanishing from my face like the man appearing through the trailer’s door was some kind of super powerful, instant coffee. I knew at least the side-effects from withdrawal were much the same.

“Where else would I be?” I joked, still busying myself with cleaning a bit around the room as I waited for him to take off the coat that was a part of his character’s characterization. Tom just grunted, checking himself in the mirror like he still couldn’t believe in the power of cinematic make-up before glancing in the direction of the shower.

“You say it like you got nowhere better to be.” Was this a joke? He knew it was the truth, he had to be saying this just to tease me. Still, it was better to join in than to make this a bigger deal that it was, so I just snorted.

“You say it like you don’t know you’re the best company ever!” I mocked in a fake girly voice, giggling at myself after I reached the end of the sentence. I’d also finished with the general clean-up and I gave myself a nod as a recognition for my efficient work, before finally meeting my boss’ eyes.

“Careful, sweetheart. When you say stuff like that I only end up falling deeper.” A wink was sent in my direction, and stupidly, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of the man who was supposed to be my boss - and nothing else - joking about being in love with me.

It was moments like these that showed me regardless of how strongly I tried to shove it away and push it to the farthest corners of my mind, I was still falling deeper and deeper for him with each passing day I spent in his company.

“I have to go take a shower, wash this make-up off me. You’ll still be here when I get out?” Like he said, I had nowhere else to be, so I just shrugged, letting my body fall on the couch while releasing a deep sigh.

“I guess. You need me for something?” When he didn’t immediately answer me, my curiosity was picked, so I raised my gaze to find him leaning on the threshold of the bathroom’s door, shirt already off and a boyish smile on his lips.

“I always need you, sweetheart. But I was thinking about maybe running some lines, are you up for that?” All I could do was nod, mouth suddenly too dry to do anything else as I watched him enter the bathroom and close the door behind him. Images of what it must be like in that cramped room, the fog slowly relaxing his muscles as he let his jeans drop to the floor before curling his thumbs in his boxers and then…

I needed to stop.

Tom’s P.O.V.

Fuck. I knew I should find it in me to turn the water to a cold temperature, but the warmth just felt so good against my tired muscles and it was becoming clear that not even the frigidest of showers would be able to stop my cock from hardening, not while she was still right there, behind that door, waiting for me, looking like that. God, how could she not know what she did to me?

Three years I’ve waited. Three years. Trying to see any sort of definitive sign that she was as into me as I was into her. Because, since things in my life could never be easy, the woman I ended up falling for worked for me. And as much as I wanted her, I could never find it in myself to be that guy who just ends up screwing someone’s lives because of his own egoistical wishes.

If I revealed my interest in her and she didn’t reciprocate it, there was simply no way for us to keep working together like this. My heart couldn’t handle it and I’d never want to make her uncomfortable in any way.

So I just waited and waited and waited for the perfect opportunity that always seemed to slip through my fingers. And in that time, we only grew closer and closer. A P.A.’s job is already quite dependent on having a tight connection to the person they’re supposed to assist, but we were just so damn similar. And it seemed like she just understood me - beyond the needs of her regular day-to-day tasks - on a profound level, from my wicked sense of humor to my fears and anxieties.

It was really no surprise that we had become as close as best friends. She was the person I trusted the most now, even with the stuff I wouldn’t regularly confide to a personal assistant, and I knew the new nature of our once strictly-professional relationship was easily apprehended by her, too.

It only added a new layer of difficulty for the mess we’d found ourselves in, a new bond I could easily destroy if the resolve I had so cautiously built came crumbling down. But now that the cracks had appeared, it was only a matter of time before it all became clear and I was left with whatever came of it. So I decided to take a stance.

“You ready?” I asked, once dried and with loose and comfortable clothes that allowed me to relax even further after such a stressful day on set. This was it. This was the moment of truth. I was really going to do this.

“Sure. Can you throw me the script?” Oh, right. I looked around the now (thanks to her) tidied trailer to locate the little brochure right over the mini-fridge, offering it to her on the correct page.

“There you go. You sure you don’t have anywhere else to be? We might be here for a while.” If things go according to plan, I thought but didn’t voice it, although I was surprised that she couldn’t hear how loud my heartbeat had gotten in this cramped space.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Positive,” I confirmed, not looking at him as I took advantage of the excuse of becoming familiarized with the words I’d have to speak. “I’m yours for the night.” I don’t think I would have realized just how… different these words could sound if it wasn’t for the silence that followed. But when my head whipped up and my eyes met his, panic undoubtedly very clear in my expression, all I got was, “I need you to listen to this and listen carefully, because it is my heart that speaks directly to yours.”

For a second, I just blinked, completely confused about what was happening until suddenly it dawned upon me. Right, the script. I glanced down once more to check my line before reciting it, “Speak if you must. I don’t know what you could possibly say that would erase this mess you’ve made.”

Fuck. I’d forgotten this movie had a pretty intense romantic storyline. I hadn’t been on set for any scenes other than the action sequences, so it’d completely disappeared from my mind that this was a possibility: that Tom would ask me to rehearse love scenes with him.

All I could do now was pray that my heart would come out of this unscattered.

“I need you to know that I want you, in more than one way - in more than the expected way. I want you as more than a friend and maybe as more than a lover too.” Once again, I was dumbfounded by the words that left his lips, uncertain of what to do. Those weren’t the same words on my script, they weren’t the ones I was expecting to hear.

“I need you to know that I need you, in more than one way - in more than the traditional way. I need you as more than a friend and maybe more than a wife too.”

Like it knew something was about to happen, my heart sped out of control, and I tried to force my hands to stop shaking as I licked my lips and took a moment to breathe. “Are you… Are you sure that’s the right line?” I managed to ask, but all I got as a response was a small, almost shy smile.

Tom didn’t do shy. This felt different.

“Can I touch you?” He asked. That wasn’t in the script either. And somehow, everything in the universe seemed to click into its rightful position because somehow, right then, I just knew.

“Yes.” It came out more as a whisper than anything else, but in a second his hands were on me, one on my hip and the other on my hair and I could just barely comprehend that this was about to happen when his mouth descended upon me.

His kiss was everything I thought temptation would taste like and it consumed me like nothing else. Chapped lips pried mine open and at the touch of his tongue on mine, my knees faltered, but he was right there to keep me up.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you.” I don’t know if I shivered because of the feeling of his warm breath against my lips or the words in itself. I just knew I suddenly felt warm, really warm, like something was burning me from the inside, and I was desperate to take him with me.

My eyes traveled up his body until they reached his own, both of us breathing hard against each other. I could feel his fingers gripping my hips tightly, and just that small gesture of possessiveness was enough to have a whine threatening to escape my throat.

“Yes,” I breathed out, lost in his gaze. “I want you too.”

Apparently, that was all he needed to fully let go of his control, mouth desperately tasting mine before abandoning it to litter kisses all over my jaw, down my neck until he stopped to suck a bruise on my throat, like some sort of ownership sign that he was anxious to leave on me. I was struggling to even catch a breath, but somehow managed to bury my hands inside of his shirt, clawing at his back with each new nip and suck that he gave me.

When we finally parted, the first thing he said to me was, “Can I take this off?” while playing with the hem of my dress and I’d never heard Tom that needy before. It almost felt like he would be the one whining any second now, and the thought that he could truly desire me that much had my head swirling.

I’d barely nodded in response and he was already pulling the fabric over my head, discarding somewhere in the tiny trailer. I couldn’t care enough to look for it right now, too preoccupied with the way his eyes explored me, hands immediately reaching out to get rid of my bra, too.

“Take off your underwear and sit on that couch.” It felt like an order. “Spread your legs for me.” That definitely was one. And I wasn’t stupid enough to disobey it.

Although still trembling with the anxiousness that came from the unpredictable turn of events I was living through, my body felt electrified by his gaze, by his obvious desire for me. It wasn’t hard to follow his command, even if some part of me wanted to feel at least a bit shy about being completely naked while he remained fully clothed. But the tortured groan he let out after I completed the task and exposed myself to him made it clear I’d done the right choice by abiding by his wishes.

“You’re so fucking hot.” Well, I felt hot under his burning stare, so it seemed appropriate. Still, I had to ask, since it seemed like I was about to lose my damn mind, “Then why are you just staring?”

Tom’s P.O.V.

The question, that barely hid the eagerness behind it, made me smirk while I approached the trembling little body waiting for me on the couch. “I fucking knew it,” I teased, kneeling before her and delicately tracing her jaw with one finger. “I knew you weren’t any innocent little angel.”

The look she gave me from under her eyelashes almost had me second guessing what I’d just said, but I knew better. Raising to my full height, my fingers made quick work of my clothes before I wrapped a fist around my member, slowly jerking myself to the sight of her naked body.

“I knew you were perfect for me even on this level.” She licked her lips as her eyes kept following my movements, and I panted at the clear sign of desire when she reached out to grab me. “No, darling. I can’t control myself much longer and I still need to prepare you.”

When I made a movement towards her, sitting by her side on the couch, I was surprised to see her close her legs before I could reach out for her, quickly climbing on my lap with as much eagerness as I was exhibiting myself.

“No, no teasing,” she pleaded, wet and warm cunt grinding against my hardened member as she wrapped her arms around the back of my neck.

“I don’t want to tease, I want to prepare you,” I tried to explain as I reached out to grab her arms, holding them between us instead. She pouted, clearly fully intended to guilt me into skipping foreplay, but I didn't want her to regret this later, even if she still asked this while clearly knowing just how big my cock was. “The night’s still young, baby. We have plenty of time to get acquainted with our bodies.”

I nibbled on her earlobe as I tried to convince her, but she wasn’t having it. That much became clear as she continued to grind herself against me, before saying, “I don’t want you to prepare me, I want your cock in me. I want it to hurt.”

A shiver went through my spine at her words, temporarily freezing me. And that was all the time she needed to pull her hands from mine and take my cock in her own grip, quickly aligning it with her hole before starting to descend back to my lap again.

“C’mon, Tom,” she tried to snap me out of it. “Fuck me hard. Show me just what I’ve been missing.” Those words, paired with the feeling of her tight pussy beginning to ride me, had me breaking out of my control in a second.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” I growled before taking a hold of her hips and quickening her movements until her breasts were bouncing right before me. “I should have known you’d be a little cockwhore, huh? I’m gonna fuck you against every wall of this trailer before fucking you on top of each and every piece of furniture. Let’s see if you’ll still be hungry for more when I’m done with you.”

The moan she let out at my words had my cock twitching inside of her, fingers pressing tightly on the soft flesh of her hips as I struggled to keep my composure and not spill myself inside her tight walls so damn soon.

“You’re so fucking wet, even without any foreplay,” I absentmindedly commented, and while it seemed like she wanted to say something, maybe explain herself, the way I was ramming into her clearly stopped any sane words from leaving her lips. It was only a mess of moans and whimpers, until suddenly, a single word came out, clear as day, at least to my own inebriated mind and hard-as-a-rock cock.

“Holy shit,” I cursed, throwing my head back as I grabbed her ass to keep her riding my cock. “Moan my name again. Moan my fucking name, Y/N. Don’t you dare keep it in.” It seemed like my command was unnecessary. She screamed my name like it was the only thing she knew how to say as I felt her pussy milking me for my cum, her own orgasm taking over her.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

As soon as I was able to breathe again, his hand was forcing me down to meet his lips again in a desperate open-mouthed kiss. “Such a good girl for me,” he whispered, still fucking himself up at me, and the overstimulation was so delicious I squeezes his shoulders to keep my whimpers in, scared that he’d slow down. “I imagine you like this so many times.”

Giggling, I wrapped my arms around him while I resumed my previous movements, riding his dick with all I had, determined to feel him spill inside of me. “Is it anything like you imagined?”

He just groaned, squeezing my ass and letting his head fall back on the couch before admitting, with lust-filled eyes that looked up at me from his eyelashes, “It’s so much better. So much better than just jerking off to the thought of you.”

His words, the raspiness of his voice as he uttered them, had me clenching around him, and ultimately, that’s what brought him close to his own orgasm. “Can I cum inside of you?” He asked, fingers squeezing my hips tightly as he took full control of my movements in his need to get to that pleasurable end. A nod from me had him finally there, cumming inside of me as his entire body freezed, immobilizing me on top of him, too.

“What about now?” He asked, barely able to stay awake as his fingers traced circles on my hips, eyes closed while I did the same, resting on his chest. “Can you still stay?”

Laughing, I pulled away just enough to deposit a quick kiss on his lips before readjusting myself back to my previous position. “Positive,” I repeated, thinking back on just how much had happened since the last time I said that word to him. “I’m right where I need to be.”

#tom hardy smut #tom hardy #smut #my fics #tom hardy requests #tom hardy reader #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy reader insert #tom hardy reader inserts #tom hardy fanfiction #tom hardy oneshot #tom hardy oneshots

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vanderlindemorgans · 4 years ago

Text

Cross My Heart (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Rating: Explicit/18+

Summary: A traitorous Agent Whiskey returns to the United States on the run. Being cast out by Statesman, he soon finds that you’re the only person he can turn to - the embittered former flame from years long passed

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: Eventual smut, some references to alcoholism and drug use. Reader is in her late twenties but there is an age gap between her and Whiskey. Chapter specific warnings: one scene takes place in a hospital, some medical talk, more heavy drinking, talk of death and alcoholism (specifically related to drunk driving), mentions of drug addiction, Whiskey being a dick, lotta heavy topics in general.

Read on AO3 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

“Alright, so the X-Rays have come back and as you can probably already guess your left arm has been fractured”.

The news hadn’t been a shock to you at all - it was only logical that the result of being thrown off the back of a horse was your arm breaking from the impact of the fall, nevermind the sheer amount of pain that it had already caused you was even more indication that something was definitely wrong there. All things considered, it still wasn’t a pleasant piece of news to receive, causing you to let out a low groan as you settled back into the hospital gurney they had allocated to you after the ambulance had pulled you in. Dressed in only a hospital gown, you felt the chill from the room's air conditioning prick the edges of your skin, the coolness of temperature making the whole experience even more foreign to you. Of course, it wasn’t like you’d never been to a hospital before - an unlucky bout of croup had sent you to the emergency room as a little kid when you’d almost stopped breathing. At the resurgence of that particular memory you felt yourself shudder, recalling the hours spent passed out in a brightly lit room and being forced to drink gross tasting liquid that was meant to clear up your airways. At least you weren’t choking on your own breath this time round.

“Well that’s just fantastic. How long will it take to heal? I kinda got a ranch to run” you asked the doctor, who was standing off to the side consulting the clipboard nestled against his arm. Sighing, he looked up at you with a look of sympathy while he ran through the information he’d jotted down on his notes. “Usually it takes twelve weeks for fractures to heal - given the fact that a good part of your arm has been displaced you’ll need to be put into surgery to shift the bone back into place, which we’ll have scheduled for you in the next twenty-four hours. Afterwards, I’ll be putting you in a cast for a couple of weeks and you’ll have to come back in for checkups weekly. I’ll also give you a list of rehabilitation exercises you can do to ensure the recovery process goes as smoothly as possible” he explained. “After your surgery and subsequent discharge, I heavily recommend a few days bed rest due to the concussion you have sustained”.

“So I’m guessing most physical labour is out then” you muttered under your breath, sighing once you realized how heavily this would impact your ability to keep things running smoothly back at the ranch. Yes, you had employees but without you to oversee everything things would slow down and descend into madness real quickly. You wished you had allocated some sort of second in command for times like this, a manager of sorts to keep things in place while you recovered but you’d just never gotten around to it, brushing the thought aside every time it sprung up with a simple “Why would I need extra help anyway? Nothing ever happens around here”.

“You’d be correct on that. Now, I have some other patients to check on but I will be back in about 20 minutes or so to prep you for surgery, though I will send a nurse to give you some painkillers so you can stop feeling the worst of the pain for at least a little while” he replied. You went to thank him but before you could you felt a light touch graze along your right arm. Your eyes glanced over to where Jack’s hand was placed, his touch delicate and comforting, sparking that same feeling in your chest that you’d felt when he’d stroked your forehead back at the ranch. His eyes met your own for a moment, deep cedar brown looking at you with nothing more than concern and worry, somehow pulling at a single string of your heart even though you wanted to fight against it with all your might.

Snapping you focus back into place, you nodded back over to the doctor and thanked him for all he was doing, listening to his reassurances that he’d have you fixed up as soon as possible as he hurried on out of the room to his next patient in need. Once he was gone, you exhaled in annoyance and went back to staring aimlessly at the ceiling, mulling over the inconvenience of your predicament.

“Everything ok, sugar?” you heard Jack ask you, feeling his enchanting eyes study your expression, his anxiety over your wellbeing plain as day. Letting out a small laugh, you returned his question with a small smile of your own. “Does it look like I’m ok?” you joked, gesturing vaguely to your fractured arm.

He chuckled at your sarcasm, always enjoying that certain fire you had to your character that refused to silence itself. Unbeknownst to you, that was one of things that drew him towards you in the first place - his own air of cockiness and confidence was equally matched by your spitfire and sarcastic wit. Finding out the sweet disposition that lay behind that harshness the first time round had taken him by complete surprise, but only did more to endear himself to you. God, he was such a fool for losing that. He was certain that your sweetness was still there, closed behind even more layers of hurt and pain that he’d caused such a large hand in.

From the moment the ambulance had arrived, Jack had stayed beside you, refusing to leave for even a single moment. It was quite endearing, truth be told, a feeling that attempted to worm its way through your steadfast reasoning against him. He’s a liar. Don’t fall for his shit again, you repeated to yourself. Though it was becoming harder and harder to continue regarding him as your greatest mistake when he was behaving so kindly and gentlemanly towards you. Just a part of his deceptive charm, I guess, you thought bitterly.

“Y’know, you don’t have to worry about things gettin’ outta hand down at the ranch. I’m more than happy to step up and help” he spoke up, snapping your attention back to his words and out of your own contemplation. You thought about his proposal for a minute, the temptation to say yes seeming very appealing towards you, though somehow that felt like admitting to weakness. The ranch wasn’t his responsibility, it was yours, left to you by your dear parents. It was your obligation to run it in their stead - there’d been difficulties along the way, sure, including the occasional nasty cold every now and then but you had pulled through without any trouble. You didn’t need help or any sort of handout, and you were more than capable of taking care of business by yourself, even with a broken arm.

Then again, it is gonna be kinda hard to run a business while being confined to bed rest. Briefly you thought about just closing the ranch for a couple of days while you got back on track yet once you thought about the loss in profits you discarded that idea quickly. It wasn’t like you were struggling to make ends meet but a dip in profits could cause a bit of issue.

“Yeah but...It’s my responsibility. I can’t just ignore that because I got a stupid broken arm” you rebuffed, though you didn’t sound entirely convinced of what you were saying yourself. Sadly, stubbornness was your nature and even if you knew you were fighting a losing battle, sometimes it was more about the principle of having a position rather than whatever thing you were debating over. Some would say that was quite a counterproductive way to look at things, and you’d agree with them, yet you still remained stubborn in spite of them, feeding back into the cycle.

“Darlin’, with all due respect, I think what’s best for you is that you take a step back and let someone else take the reins. You need to allow yourself to rest a lil. Tell me, in all the years of runnin’ the ranch by yourself, have you ever once taken a day off?”.

“No, but-”.

“Exactly as I thought. You’ve been doing an amazing job at keeping things together for all these years, sweetheart, but you gotta relax a bit. Let me help you” he interrupted, gazing at you with those heart-meltingly sweet eyes of his, a look which made you seize up ever so slightly in minor fake annoyance. Little shit, he had to be doing that on purpose.

“Fine, only if it’ll get you to shut up” you relented, rolling your eyes in a dramatic fashion and hitting your head back down into the pillow below, eliciting a playful smirk from him in return. “That’s my girl, stubborn as always” he jested.

To that you cocked an eyebrow at him in disbelief. “Your girl? Careful there, Jack, for a minute I thought you were capable of genuine compassion and care. I may have once been your girl, cowboy, but not anymore. Or did you happen to forget?”.

His own expression softened slightly in regards to your snide remark, his mischievous grin faltering while he turned his gaze to the floor, looking somewhat sheepish towards what you had said, a far cry from his usual air of arrogance. “Yeah, I guess I deserve that” he murmured. “Tell me, sugar, do you ever think one day you’ll believe me when I say that I’m sorry?”.

“When pigs fly, dearest” you smiled with a shit-eating grin, though you couldn’t miss that momentary flash of hurt in his eyes that made you pull back, a sharp pang striking through your chest that hurt harder than the agonizing ache in your arm, which really, was saying something. Could that be...guilt, perhaps?, you thought, searching Jack’s face for any further sign of offense. If he was feeling hurt, he was doing a pretty stellar job at hiding it. Maybe it was nothing, and even if he was hurt, well, he said it himself, he deserved it. Without giving you another minute to ponder your own feelings, a welcome interruption in the arrival of a nurse found you, shifting your thoughts towards the relief of finally getting some painkillers into you.

___

The surgery had gone over well, and after a grueling day spent hanging out in that hospital room hopped up on painkillers you were finally discharged late afternoon the following day. The worst of your concussion had cleared itself up too yet you were still confined to your bed for those first few days - the doctor was insistent on that fact, saying you could never be too careful. You’d begrudgingly complied, not wanting to cause any further problems to your health, and even if you had tried to go against the doctor’s orders, you knew that Jack would be there to send you off back to bed if you dared lift a finger.

Jack had doted on you the entire time, making sure you were well hydrated and cool enough in the midst of the hot Texas summer, fetching you snacks and whatever else you needed from downstairs. In his own words, what kind of man would he be if he didn’t take care of an ailing woman. You’d rolled your eyes and insisted that he didn’t have to go all out with looking after you yet he’d insisted. It was somewhat heartwarming, and it felt nice to be taken care of again after those last few years alone. It reminded you of when you’d come down with the flu back in third grade, staying home in bed lazily watching television and barely being able to keep your eyes open while your mum made soup in the kitchen. You could feel your heart drop at the mere recollection of your parents, pain that stayed beneath the surface rising up in full force. Usually you pushed those feelings down, not wanting to become distracted from the business, but today, you allowed yourself the indulgence of missing them. What would they think if they could see you now? Would they be proud, or disappointed?

Feeling your stomach grumble, you shifted over in bed and reached your only good arm out to grab onto the half-eaten grilled cheese Jack had brought in for you five minutes before, letting out a low wince at the pain that writhed through your other arm, which had been placed into a cast and sling for the time being. Already you couldn’t wait for the day you could get the damned thing taken off - you hadn’t been able to shower and you felt grotty and gross. It wasn’t like you had to impress anyone, it was just you and Jack lying about the place. Still, you could only take so many days of waking up with unwashed greasy hair. And it was itchy too. Oh dear god, it was fucking itchy. You’d heard about how itchy the plaster could get second-hand but you never anticipated it to be that bad.

Directing your eyes to the clock on your bedside, you took notice of the time and let out a small relieved sigh. You could finally take another one of those painkillers, the fourth and dismally last one for you of the day.

Your relief quickly fizzled out into disappointment when you realised the packet of painkillers that had been sitting by your bedside was empty. “Seriously? It’s only been a few days, I couldn’t have gone through them already…” you muttered to yourself in annoyance. Nevermind, there was another packet downstairs. You may have been perfectly capable of getting out of bed and retrieving it yourself, though you found yourself not wanting to be bothered with such a task. “Hey Jack, you there? I ran out of painkillers, could ya run some up to me?” you called out.

“Sure thing, sweetheart” you heard him shout back, and no more than two minutes later he was striding through your bedroom door, carrying exactly what you had requested within his palms. “How are you feelin’?” he asked.

“No better than six minutes ago when you last asked me that. Thanks for bringing these up though, fuck that stupid horse for bucking me off” you grumbled, sniping the blessed white packet out of his hands and into your fingers. “Pain making you grumpy, sweet girl? You seem a bit more full of spitfire than usual today” he joked.

“Nah, you’re getting the discounted version today. If I wanted to vocalise exactly what I was feeling right now you’d be obliterated in a second” you laughed, chucking a tablet into your mouth and washing it down with a large gulp of water, anxious to feel some semblance of relief.

“You don’t say. How’s your head doing, though? No dizziness or anything like that?”.

“I’m fine, Jack, I promise. You don’t have to fawn all over me just because I broke my dumb arm” you assured, rolling your eyes at him.

“I wouldn’t call in fawning, I only want to make sure you're comfortable and all that. Not only because of your arm and all” he smiled gently, reaching out to brush a stray hair off your forehead. It could have been the heat of the room but you could have sworn your skin felt on fire the moment he touched you. You could feel him press the back of his fingers against your head, unconsciously allowing your breath to hitch at his touch. And just like that, the warmth of his hand was gone, leaving an invisible searing mark in its place and your own head full of frenzied and confused thoughts.

“Like I said earlier, just call out if you need anything else, alright darlin’?” he said as he was leaving, words that you didn’t care to take notice of as he left you to yourself again. Blinking slowly, you couldn’t even fully begin to describe what had just taken place, or why one little gesture was throwing your mind into somersaults. Why did his mere touch have to affect you like that? Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Groaning loudly, you settled yourself underneath the sheet covering you and huffed at nobody in particular, cursing both yourself and him for even existing. For fucks sake...

___

Taking a sip of bourbon from your glass, you leaned against the side of the stairs of the veranda with your gaze fixated off into the distance, though you didn’t take any notice of what lay ahead, lost deep in your own thoughts that clouded your mind. It’d been a couple more days, and you’d finally been able to get out of bed and get back to helping out around the ranch - not that you were still of any use to anyone, given the state of your arm. It felt good to be back overseeing things, albeit a bit more behind the scenes than you had been in years. It’d be a good month or so before you were able to move your arm properly and have things back to normal. At first that fact did nothing short of irritating you, since you weren’t one to lie about helpless when work needed to be done. Over the last few days though, seeing the ranch go about with business as usual with Jack’s extra help had put you at ease a little. It still bothered you somewhat that you had to be asking any sort of help from Jack Daniels of all people, though really, he was the one offering it in the first place so you hadn’t so much as asked him to do anything, moreso conceding to his instistance at the behest of your stubbornness.

The pain was getting a little better too, though whether that had more to do with the painkillers or not remained to be seen. For example, you couldn’t feel anything now but you had just ingested two glasses of pure straight bourbon, so of course any type of pain would be numbed. Remember when it could numb more than just that? You let out a small snicker at the thought, sounding as hollow and empty as it felt. Once upon a time you might have been classed as relatively lightweight, a fact that changed after years of the trials and tribulations life had thrown your way. You still got drunk easy, but it took a good few glasses before you actually passed out.

“You know, you should let me sign that for ya”.

Hearing that familiar voice ring out from behind you, you swivel around so see its owner standing right in the opened doorway of your home, his hands casually resting in his pockets and his frame leant against the wall. “What are we, in middle school? I don’t want it getting dirty” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him for good measure.

He smirked right back at you, letting out a small snicker that mirrored your own. “Why not? It’s not like you're gonna have to be wearin’ it forever. A little scribble in permanent marker wouldn’t do ya any harm” Jack grinned, taking a large step forward to descend down to your level, seating himself right next to you on the veranda. You cocked an eyebrow at him, letting your fingertips trail over the edge of the glass in your hands while you stared at him with utter audacity. “And yet I know you’re only so persistent in signing it because you’ll write something crude or vaguely flirty” you snipped.

“How little you think of me, sugar. I’d never dream of doin’ such a thing. I am nothing if not a gentleman”.

“Oh, do cut the charm, Jack. What is it you want?”.

“Please, can’t a man share a glass of bourbon with a lady without being subjected to the Spanish Inquisition?” he asked, wearing his devilish and frustratingly charming grin as he spoke, the appearance of which you swore made your cheeks flush a little bit hotter. Probably because of the alcohol...and it is hot out here after all...

“Not this lady, cowboy” you stated, gulping down the last dredges of bourbon in your glass and placing it back down to the floor with a thud. You went to go grab the bottle from beside you but found Jack had already snatched it up, pouring you another glass. Mumbling out a small thank you, you considered asking him if he wants a glass of his own, however once you caught sight of his silver Statesman issued flask in his hands you dismissed the idea entirely. With nothing else left to say, you glanced back up to the sky above towards where the moon was hanging over you two, the delicate light illuminating the stretches of countryside around your property in a soft glow, one that was both enchanting and eerie at the same time. Every now and then you would be reminded of how beautiful the Texan countryside could look, whether it be bathed in the rays of that damned blistering sun or the enigmatic glimmer of moonlight. It could pull you back to moments lost in time, years ago sitting right where you were in that very same spot, seven years younger and with the exact same man sitting beside you, head rested on his shoulder and looking out into the vast expanse of midnight black. Funny how things change, don’t they?

Out the corner of your eye you saw Jack shake his head, his eyes quiet, the sparkle of stark confidence bordering on plain arrogance missing. It was a similar look to the one he’d given you at the hospital that night, before he’d tried to cover it up with a certain facade of indifference. “What will it take for you to believe I’m sorry? What happened between us, it was all-” he started before being unceremoniously cut off by your interjection.

“In the past? I’m well aware of that. Doesn’t change how I feel” you stopped him. You’d anticipated him throwing out that line from day one and you’d come prepared. Shut it down. Don’t let him try to swindle you for a fool.

His expression changed to one more serious, a hint of him being slightly miffed that you cut him off in the first place. “Let me finish, darlin’. I’m gonna level with you for a second - what I did to you was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Letting everything fall apart like it did, I never should have let it happen” he expressed, his tone straddling between being firm and also being gentle. Cocking an eyebrow at him, you turned back to your glass of liquor, swirling the liquid around idly in a way that reminded you of that persistent thought running round your head. Did he have a point? Were you being too harsh on him?

Don’t become soft on him. Don’t do it. You shifted back into focus, pushing those thoughts far to the back of your tipsy mind while you took a couple large sips of liquor as if it were a lifeline. “Worse than whatever mistake led you to showing up on my doorstep?” you asked, eager to direct the conversation right back out of that uncomfortable territory and into something a bit more easier to stomach. Maybe later on you could ponder the true depths of your perceptions of Jack. Right now, though, you wanted to get wasted and not have to think about anything anymore. And hey, it’s not like I wasn’t wondering about the events that led him here in the first place anyway.“You never did tell me what happened. I know you said it was none of my concern but...I want to know. Call it a spate of drunken curiosity, if ya want”.

The question alone was enough to draw Jack’s face from being merely serious to an expression more cold and distant. He looked away from you entirely and rested his gaze to the few steps below the two of you, his hand clenching in a subconscious act that alone was enough to tell you his own reservations regarding the topic. “Truth is, I’ve been fucking things up for a good couple of years. What happened to lead me here, well, it ain’t a pretty story”.

“I don’t care, Jack, I wanna know” you asserted, surging with a sense of fiery confidence. It might have been the alcohol giving you a bit more moxie to push the topic. One thing was for sure though: you wanted answers, and you didn’t wanna let this go. Stretching your legs out, you finished off the glass you had while you waited for him to reply, not wanting to cave to your request even if he was looking at you like you’d threatened to kill the President.

Finally, he let out a low groan of annoyance and leant against the side of the veranda, not affording you a single look as he launched into his tale. “Basically what happened is some agents from an English based secret service came over to the states as a last resort - their base got blown up by someone and the two guys that approached us were the only ones left alive. Well, them and this other guy we had at our headquarters, but that’s a whole other story. The people behind the attack were a group called the Golden Circle, and Statesman had already been investigating them for awhile. I was called in by Champ to partner up with the Kingsman fellas, do the regular secret agent spiel of espionage and savin’ the world and all that crap. But, me and these other agents, we had an...ideological disagreement. I was covertly tryin’ to hinder them until the older guy got wise to my shit and shot me in the head. Ginger managed to bring me in and revive me, I went over to Cambodia where the two agents were confronting the leader of the Golden Circle, and to make a long story short things got nasty pretty quickly. I barely escaped with my life” he explained.

You nodded along to his explanation, the load of information being a lot to take in the first time round. You were always somewhat aware of Jack’s position as a secret agent though you were never privy to the nitty and gritty details - in fact, the way you’d found out about it in the first place was by complete accident and Jack had to beg Agent Champ to allow you to become cleared on even knowing the basics of his true work behind the front of being a Statesman investor. “And these ideological disagreements were…?” you pushed.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know” he deflected.

“Try me”.

He didn’t reply to you straight away, instead staring at you with a stark look of confliction across his face, an inner turmoil brewing inside of him on whether or not he should tell you even more. Being cast out as a traitor, he didn’t have to worry about breaking any sort of rule of confidentiality, so if you had to wager a guess at what his dilemma was, then it must have been that he felt mildly ashamed, or even embarrassed about the whole situation. In your mind though, you’d let him keep his secrets for weeks now, but if he was going to stay in your house you wanted to at the bare minimum know what he did that was so bad that he simply couldn’t return back home anymore. “Well go on then, hit me with your best shot” you prodded further, hopefully enough to get his demeanour to crack and for him to spill what exactly the entire fuss had been about. And sure enough, crack he did.

Running a hand across his forehead, he let out a low exasperated sigh, one that would have been inaudible if you hadn’t been seated beside him, indicating the exact moment he finally decided to break his own silence and reveal everything to you. “The Golden Circle were primarily a drug cartel and terrorist organization based out in the hidden depths of the Cambodian jungle. Their leader had devised a plot that involved lacing their distribution of drugs with a new type of chemical she created that caused death. Since their supply was mass distributed over the globe, they were holding the entire populace of drug users and addicts hostage to their respective governments, demanding a payout for the antidote. They didn’t, however, anticipate the President and other world leaders not really giving a red hot shit about the lives of junkies. Being the noble men they are, the Kingsman agents as well as the rest of Statesman were striving to get ahold of the antidote to save all those people. And that, is where me and them disagreed” Jack elaborated, avoiding your gaze in what appeared to be a calculated move in order to refrain from seeing your reactions to his admittance. In the span of two minutes, your expression had shifted from intense curiosity to straight up bafflement at what he was saying. It didn’t make sense - why was he against distributing the antidote? He was a secret agent, wasn’t he meant to save the world and innocent lives and all that?

“Let me get this straight - you were assigned on a mission to try to save the lives of innocent people, and you chose...not to do that” you asked, your tone laced with judgment. Not that you had intended for what you said to have come across any different. If what he was implying was right, then that would mean...

“Well, when you put it like that, sure, it sounds awful. I will concede, it wasn’t my best move. But all the people who ingested those drugs did so willingly. They knew they were taking a gamble on their lives the moment they stuck a damn needle into their arms” Jack grumbled defensively, allowing you to gawk back at him in utter disbelief. “Jack, no, you can’t seriously believe that? So what you’re saying is that the kid that decided to get high with his mates one weekend at a party deserves to die? Is that right?”.

“No, no, I didn’t mean like that, I just…”.

“Really? ‘Cause it sounds a lot like you’re saying that innocent people should die for their poor choices” you cut in, shaking your head to further drive your point in. “Jesus, just when I thought you couldn’t be a bigger asshole you proved me wrong”.

“Sweetheart, please, I know. It was a mistake, you don’t have to keep rubbing it in”.

“You know it’s a mistake, but do you truly feel it? Do you really feel remorse? Because if you don’t then it’s just a bunch of empty words” you rebuffed, shooting him with a cold piercing glare that could make an entire continent freeze over. Around about this time, you really began to take notice of the dazed feeling clouding you, every glass of liquor draining straight into your brain and making you feel like your entire head was swimming. Maybe take it easy on the next glass, why don’t ya? With that thought, you shoved the glass off to the side with your free arm and bit your lip, debating whether or not you should even say what you wanted to next. That debate, however, did not last very long as you found yourself blurting out exactly what was on your mind within two seconds of your last thought. “Jack, look...maybe I’ll hate myself for saying this later, and maybe it’s just the liquor talking but I don’t think you’re an inherently bad person. I think you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who does cruel stupid things but probably has a decent enough heart. You just...you gotta stop with this shit. Stop with the betrayals, and the lies, and the false promises, all of it, and just be the real you. The Jack I knew may be a prick but he was never one to let an innocent die on his watch. What’s really behind all this?”.

He continued to glare from his position beside you, somewhat intent on making you recant and drop the whole subject entirely. You wouldn’t go down that easy though, and he knew it, for as stubborn as Jack was you were at least ten times moreso, so when he folded first and trained his eyes low to the ground, you knew that he’d finally conceded. You could feel a whole shift in his demeanour from where you sat, the mask of defensive anger slowly falling away to reveal what was truly underneath: hurt. Pure, raw, unbridled hurt. Anguish that felt especially familiar to you and spoke to a part of yourself that you’d been turning away from for years, and even before he said those words you knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Years ago, before I became an agent to Statesman, I was married to the young woman I’d fallen for in high school. I think I told you about her in passing maybe once, or twice, I don’t know…” Jack started, trailing off once he began to fully re-immerse himself in the past, heartache plainly sewn across his features. It was then that you felt an ache of your own in your chest, a heavy feeling of guilt descending upon you once you realised the gravity of what he was saying. “I remember. You said her name was Lily, wasn’t it?” you murmured, your voice small and unsure, with a hint of something else present too. Regret? Guilt? Whatever it was, you couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it was there, strong as anything and clearly wasn’t going away any time soon.

Jack let out a small hum in reply, everything about his composure presumably a million miles away from everything around the both of you.“So you do remember” he muttered, brushing his fingers over the edge of his silver flask that he had cradled in his handles, tracing the Statesman logo engraved on the side with the pad of his thumb. “I remember you askin’ me about her the first time you came back to my apartment in New York - you saw the photo of her I kept on my desk and asked who she was. I only told you briefly that she was long gone, but I never told you how. The both of us were only twenty-three, and she was pregnant with our first child, a baby boy. Last time I saw her she left the house to go to the convenience store a few streets over”. He stopped himself for a split second, the darkness of his eyes being the all-too recognisable sign of falling deep into his own recollection, feeling as if he was reliving every memory that he revisited in his mind. “Twenty minutes later I get a phone call from a cop, saying there’d been an incident. Meth addicts had robbed the store at gunpoint and she’d been caught in the crossfire. She died instantly, and I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I never got to meet our baby boy, I never got to hold her in my arms again and say how much I loved her, because she was taken from me by a couple of meth-addled scumbags”.

You were honestly at a loss for words, not knowing if saying something would be the appropriate option or not. He was right, you knew he was married before - the time with the picture that he mentioned was the most you had heard of her. He never brought Lily up again, and you never thought to ask, since in your mind it wasn’t any of your business who Jack loved before. Now, the pieces were falling into place, the interwoven connections of his past to his actions as an agent making all the more sense to you.

What you wanted to do most was lean forward and envelop him into your embrace, tell him that you understood more than anyone what exactly that felt like, and even permit yourself to pour out your own heart to him. Drunk as you were though, you couldn’t talk yourself into doing anything more than placing a reassuring hand on his knee, letting your touch be soft and hesitant in case he shrugged you off, since you did basically just goad him into revealing his own wounds in the name of having answers. “Jack, I...I had no idea, I-”.

“How could you have known? I never told you” he mumbled flatly. In the dim veranda light, all though it was faint, you could swear that there was a teardrop lingering in the corner of his cedar brown eyes, nudging the dagger of guilt further into your heart. Say something, you idiot.

Starting off softly, you let your hand rest firmer on his knee, trying to catch his eyes into your own. Tearing his glance away from the flask, he looked back at you with the same raw grief that you had seen on your own face so many times. “I know it must have hurt like hell losing her. And you have every right to feel angry, and hurt that she was taken, but that doesn’t give you the right to hate. Every addict in the world is not the same man who took her life. You can’t just-” you started, before the sound of Jack’s harshest tone cut through your words like a knife.

“How would you know? Do you have any idea what it feels like to hurt, to have lost everything because of someone else’s choices?” he spat, anger seething in his scowl that was directed solely at you. It had taken you by surprise at first - as a reflex you withdrew your hand quickly from him as if he were burnt, perplexed at his sudden outburst. That didn’t last long however, as soon enough confusion was replaced by your own flair of anger. Now it was your turn to get defensive.“I think I do know what it’s like to hurt and to lose. In case you’ve forgotten, dickhead, there’s two people who should be right inside this house that aren’t anymore and haven’t been for about six fucking years now!” you yelled back.

Shit. He’d forgotten about your parents. The anger that had been in him disappeared without a trace right then, being replaced by something close to resembling remorse over his behaviour. “I...I didn’t mean...fuck, sugar, I…I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say” he apologised. You didn’t say anything back to him. You didn’t want to dignify him with any sort of a response. First of all, how dare he? You were only trying to empathise with him, and here he was biting your head off for daring to suggest that he doesn't hate every drug user on the planet. Why do I even fucking bother?

The awkward silence between you hung for awhile, the two of you not wanting to break it for your own different reasons. You could feel Jack stealing glances at you, like he was trying to talk himself into saying something but never had the courage to follow through. Huffing to yourself, you took in your next glass fast enough to make your head spin. You’d have to turn in for the night eventually, and truth be told you were considering doing so right then when you heard Jack speak up.

“I never did ask...if you don’t mind me askin’ that is...what happened to your folks anyway?” he asked hesitantly, as if he knew the question was fat-witted to begin with. Not that you minded too much by then. Drunk you was a lot more forgiving than you were sober.

Taking in a heavy breath, you relayed your tale of woe to him, one hand placed steady to your side to keep you sitting upright. “It was late, and they were coming back from a friend’s 50th birthday party. Their friend lived in downtown Dallas, so they had a fair way to go to get from there to here. When they were almost on the highway, an out-of-control car barrelled towards them, smashing into the front of their windscreen and killing both of them instantly. The driver of the other car had been drinking - according to the local news he was a known alcoholic and had been out having a heated argument with his friend in the passenger seat. The only survivor of the entire collision had been his friend”.

You saw Jack blink at you in silent shock, the weight of your words falling heavily on him while he continued to process it all. “Shit, darling, I feel like an even bigger piece of shit than I already did. If you slapped me clean across the face and kicked me out on my ass after this I wouldn’t blame ya one bit” he replied to you solemnly in a way that didn’t leave you questioning the authenticity of his words - he was genuinely sorry this time round. Taking his apology in stride, you shrugged back at him and acted as nonchalant about the whole thing as possible, not wanting to ponder the topic further. As far as you were concerned, you’d felt enough things for one day and would very much like a break from it all.

“It’s fine. You had no way of knowing. But please, if you take anything from this, at least listen to my words: externalising hate towards random people only feeds your trauma. It doesn’t resolve anything, and the only person left suffering in the end is yourself”.

He furrowed his brow at you, most likely feeling a little defensive that the topic had circled back around to here, but considering his unruly display of anger earlier he wasn’t one to indulge in his own instinctual need to defend his position. “But...didn’t you want the man who took your parents away to suffer? Didn’t you look at every other drunk driving incident in the papers with a little more anger and rage than before?” he asked, earning a single eyebrow raise from you in return. “I mean...I guess what I’m trying to say is...it’s so easy to hate...why didn’t you fall into that trap?”.

“Well, I did, for a little. It was almost tempting to look at every person I saw struggling with alcoholism in red. Since the man who caused the collision was already dead as a result of his own mistakes, at times I’d externalise part of that pain I was feeling onto others, and sometimes that anger became so hot and so burning that it was almost impossible to ignore. I realised pretty quickly that hating alcoholics wasn’t going to bring my parents back and that I’d have to make peace with their passing at some point. Honestly, I still haven’t processed a lot of that shit myself yet I’m still out here living my life as best I can, and really, with my own drinking habits I’d be a goddamn hypocrite to even try to find any true hatred in my heart towards heavy drinkers” you explained. Taking one last sip of bourbon, you discarded your glass off to your side and chuckled lightheartedly. “God, If I drink another glass I’m gonna collapse on the fucking floor. Think it might be time for me to turn in for the night. At least it’s Sunday tomorrow so we can sleep in a lil”.

“Y-you’re goin’ to bed? You’re not telling me to get lost or anything?” Jack sputtered in disbelief, which in turn earned him a minorly strange look from you. “Why would I do that?” you asked.

“I quite literally just admitted to treason against my former organization to you”.

“So? You made a mistake. A pretty fucking big mistake, and a shitty one at that, but still, a mistake. You obviously have some of your own pain you need to work through, and I can get that. Doesn’t mean I agree with what you did, but I get it. I’m not gonna kick you to the curb just because you have issues”.Upon saying that, you hoisted yourself up by latching your free arm onto the veranda’s fenceline, stumbling a little as you fought to maintain your balance while being both drunk and unable to fully utilise one of your arms. Nevertheless, you’d managed to straighten yourself up, and once you’d determined that you were alright to take yourself upstairs you faced on towards the front door and grasped at the brass knob in your hands, taking a brief pause to turn back and nod softly towards the man behind you. “Night Jack, I’ll see ya tomorrow” you called out, leaving him to sit there and watch you disappear back into the house with a certain look of dumbfounded astonishment.

Tag list (lemme know if you wanna be added): @giselatropicana

#agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #Kingsman #kingsman fanfiction #cross my heart #Kingsman: the golden circle #Pedro Pascal

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amazingmaeve · 4 years ago

Text

Going Home - Michael Gray

Main Masterlist // Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Summary: After his cousin and mother sent him to America Michael was angry with them but then he meet you. Then you guys go back to Birmingham with your kids and another on the way

AN: I haven’t seen season five but I know Michael isn’t the best character. And Gina doesn’t exist in this and John is alive. Also don’t judge me if i get anything wrong from the show.

Pairing: Michael Gray x Female!OC

Warnings: Pregnancy, Language, angst, alcohol

YOU and Michael met when he came to America. When he first arrived in America he was pretty pissed as his cousin and his mom sending him there. Plus he barely had no way to contact them and he knew they wouldn’t contact him either. He would probably stay there for the rest of his life he thought. He was bitter for the first weeks he was just angry and always mad at people. Until he met you.

You were working as a seamstress who makes suits and etc. in her own store. He ran into you on the streets and he was about to yell at you before he actually got a chance to look at you. He apologized for bumping into you and you waved it off and accepted his apology.

He suggested walking you back to the store you worked at. You blushed and nodded clearly smitten by him and everything he does and the way he spoke. He was smitten as well. On the way to the shop you almost tripped but he caught you. He thought how clumsy you were was very cute and the way you blushed when he caught you. As you were nearing your shop you said farewell to each other feeling sad he was leaving already.

But he came in the next day asking for a suit with a smirk on his face which made you get butterflies in your stomach like from the day before. You thought you’d never see this mad again in your life but apparently he wanted to see you again. You agreed on making him a suit and he asked you to dinner that night and you agreed feeling real giddy as you jumping around in your head.

You got your best dress and did your hair and make up real nice. You wanted to impress him but what you didn’t know you already made a great impression on him. He looked real nice as well as he put a different suit on but he looked real good. He took you to a nice restaurant and got you the best food there and it tasted good. You talked about your lives like how your father ran out on your mom and she became a single mother. And you always admired her. You weren’t that tough of a child to raise and you were a single child which made it easier.

He told you the story of him growing up in a village and that his name was Henry and then Tommy found him explaining his family wasn’t really his family. He moved to Birmingham and met his mom and cousins who got along until he came to America you didn’t ask why because it seemed like a sensitive topic.

After that night you guys were like glue, always at each other’s sides, going on dates every week. And two months later he asked you to move in with him and you were shocked but agreed with a smile and you already loved him so much.

Then not even a month later you were pregnant with your first child and you were scared to tell him. You hadn’t even told him you loved him. You didn’t even know if he wanted kids. but when you were about to tell him the big news he blurted out he loved you. You were shocked shocked but also very giddy and you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him happily saying you loved him as well.

You told him you were pregnant and hoped he wouldn’t be mad. And he wasn’t. He was a little surprised but happy nonetheless He asked you to marry him which you scoffed and rolled your eyes saying he only wanted to marry because you were pregnant. And you guys only knew each other for three months. But he told you that ‘you loved me and I love so why the hell not’. You thought about it for a few days and agreed wanting to do it as soon as possible so that you would be able to fit your wedding dress only being a months pregnant.

You got married a week after with your mom being the only one there. You gelt like the happiest girl alive.

Then months later you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. And Michael suggested the name Anna saying it was his sisters name. You agreed because a few months earlier he told you he never met his sister and she died. Plus you thought it was a good name.

You got pregnant about 6 months later. God it felt like your family was growing every day. When you told you felt happy but he was even happier

The midwife also told you it was twins which as an even bigger shock and you were a little scared since it was two instead of one. Not only pushing one kids out but two. You only went through it once and it hurt then. But now twice the pain. Michael reassured you that you were strong woman and you could do it.

Three months later you being eight months pregnant and looked like you were about to pop, Michael told you some news. You found out you were pregnant at four months. It surprised it took so long for you to find out.

“My mom wants me to go back to Birmingham,” He told you one night when you guys were cuddling. You only asked about his family a few times and he told you almost everything about them. That they were blinders and his mother and cousin sent him here. You were kind of angry but happy because you wouldn’t have met him if they didn’t send him here. He told you about the Italians and you didn’t blame him for any of it since he thought his mom was still mad at Tommy and that’s why he didn’t tell him. Plus it was in the past and he hadn’t done anything to you to prove he was a monster.

“Why does she want you to come now,” You asked as you looked up at him. You heard about his mom and she seemed like nice person and you didn’t want hold a grudge against for what happened. But you wanted to be on Michaels side as well. But it seemed he gotten over it as well. But he had a little anger in the pit of his stomach that he could ignore.

“She says that she wants to settle things between us,” Michael explains looking down at you with love in his eyes. You both layer in silence for a second.

“So what are you going to do,” You asked as you traced your fingers along his chest.

“I think I should go,” He replied. “Patch things up with the family.”

“Well if you’re going I’m going,” You beamed while looking up at him with a smile on your face.

“Nope,” He disapproved and you looked up at him with a shocked look on your face.

“What why not,” You pouted whole looking up at him.

“Sweetheart you look like you are about to pop and I don’t want you to get hurt,” He cooed you in a stern voice. You knew that he was worried about you.

“I know but I want to meet your family and I want to make sure your okay while you’re there as well,” You told him. He didn’t seem faltered by your words. “Okay how about this if I feel like somethings wrong tomorrow I’ll stay with Anna if not we both go with you. And I won’t put my self in stressful situations,” You offered. He let out a deep sigh before being his hand up to rub his eyes.

“Fine,” he grumbled but before you could cheer he put his hand up. “But we make sure not to put you in ANY stressful situations,” He approves with a stern tone in his voice.

“Ok yep agreed,” You agreed happily with a smile on your face. A wave of tiredness crossed over you. “Let’s get to bed,” You yawned before curling into Michael.

Before you fell you asleep you heard a soft voice “I love you,”

As You Michael and Anna got arrived in Birmingham you started to feel nervous wondering what his family was like in person.

Michael told you that they were dangerous but to not be afraid because they wouldn’t hurt you.

You guys were on the train on your way to Small Heath. As you promised you didn’t put yourself in stressful situations. You were starting to feel a bit uncomfortable on the train and hoped you would get there soon.

Once the train stopped Michael tapped you on the shoulder when he noticed you didn’t get up.

“Come one love we’re here,” Michael coos as he stands pulling his daughter up with him.

You let out a yawn and stood up and stretched. God you could barely move without taking everything out.

“Ok I’m ready,” You sighed and looked at your daughter sleeping in Michaels arms.

Even though she was a little past 1 years old and knew how to walk she loved being in her dads arms. You smile at the two them.

Anna stirred in her sleep and rubbed her eyes with her tiny hands.

“Hey Anna were here,” Michael whispered to his daughter with a smile painted his lips. Anna smile and let out a little giggle.

“Daddy,” Anna let out. She has been saying some words ever since she turned a year and would try to form sentences.

You and Michael shared smiles before walking out onto the platform. He put Anna down. You guys where nervous about letting her walk but Michael held to her hand. You stood to his side while Anna was on his other.

You could tell he was nervous about seeing his mother.

“It’ll be ok Michael,” You whispered in his ear wrapping your hand around his.

Michael nodded doubt running through his veins. He felt extremely nervous about seeings his family again. And about them seeing you and Anna as well.

Then you saw Michael stare at a women with dark hair and high cheek bones. You guessed that was his mother.

“Stay here,” Michael whispered to you and put Anna’s hand in your own. You nodded and watched him walk towards the woman.

You saw that they talked for a minute then a smile was spread across the woman’s face as she hugged him. You saw Michael relax and hug her back.

You let out a smile at the reunion.

“Up,” Anna raised her arms indicating she wanted to be held. You laughed a little and bent down being careful of your belly and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around you watching out for your belly. She let out a little smile and played with your hair.

You looked up and saw that Michael and Polly were walking over to you. You would say you were nervous but that would be an understatement. She looked like a very intimidating woman and you’ve heard a lot about her from Michael.

“Mom this Y/N my wife,” Michael introduced two of you and pointed to your daughter. “And this is our daughter Anna.”

Michaels mom, Polly, looked at your daughter who was resting her head on your shoulder feeling a tad tired. You noticed that Polly was getting a bit teary eyed.

“Nice to meet y-you I’ve heard good things about you,” You stuttered a bit feeling nervous about meeting your husbands mother. She looked like she could be very intimidating at some points but now she hasn’t done anything to make you feel like that.

You put your hand out to shake but she pulls you in for a hug which was kind of uncomfortable with your belly and your daughter in your arms but you tried to hug back anyways. You didn’t want to seem rude.

“Anna after,” Polly trailed off looking at Michael who nodded knowing who she was talking about after she retreated from your hug. She pulled Michael into her arms and whispered something in his ear. “Let’s get you two home you two must be tired from the the ride.

You, Michael, and Anna walked into Pollys house which wasn’t huge but wasn’t small either. You thought it looked really comfortable which you loved. Anna seemed to be getting a bit fussy so Michael took her from your arms into his. Anna put her head into his neck drowsing off.

“I’m going to go lay her down it’s been a long day for her,” Michael told you before going upstairs to one of the rooms.

After Michael left you stood there awkwardly waiting for him to return or Polly to come back from the kitchen.

“Come on in I don’t bite,” Polly called out to you when she noticed you didn’t follow her to the kitchen. You blushed a little before entering the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs. “So has my son been treating well,” She asked you as she got some tea ready.

“Yes he has been a complete gentleman,” You reassured while giving her a smile you put your hands on your belly and felt one of the babies kicking.

“I’m guessing 8 months along and with twins,” Polly asked before sitting down as she noticed you rubbing your belly.

“Yes did Michael tell you,” You ask curiosity painting your face.

“Nope intuition,” Polly gave you smile which you returned.

“I don’t want to sound rude but I’m hoping I give birth soon its been a lot of uncomfortable months for me,” You explain as you try to get situated in the chair.

“I’d assume it would be uncomfortable for twins,” Polly teases while giving you a smirk.

“I’m kind of scared though,” You admitted.

“What are you scared of darling,” Polly asked as she looked at you with a worried look on her face. Even though she didn’t know you for long she felt that you changed her sons life and would be a good addition to the family.

“Well it hurt with Anna so I assume it will hurt twice as much with the twins,” You explain to her. “Michael always reassures me though but it doesn’t help that fear in that back of my head.”

“You’ll be fine I can tell you’re a strong woman,” Polly acknowledged while taking a sip from her tea. “And plus we can get the best doctors to help you through it,” She reassures you.

“I hope so,” You mutter looking down at your huge belly.

“Have you and Michael thought of any baby names,” She tries to distract you.

“We’ve has a few but nothing that’s stuck,” You explained. You thought if it was two boys Henry and William and if it was two girls Rose or Luna. Michael just told you whatever you wanted. Before Polly could say something Michael came down into the kitchen.

“Didn’t have to much fun without me,” Michael joked and kissed your forehead then sat down next to you.

“We were just discussing baby names,” You explain while makes an oh face. Before he can respond Polly interrupts.

“We’re having the family over so that we can celebrate the new family members to the family and your arrival,” Polly surprises you and Michael.

Great a family reunion with the whole family.

As the family rolled into the house you were introduced to everyone. Michael seemed to be taking to his cousins while you were talking to Esme, Ada and Polly. Linda was sitting down reading a book. Anna was asleep upstairs. You woke her her up to feed her and then a few hours later everyone rolled in. So you put her to bed not wanting her to be stressed.

“So you and Michael happy for the baby,” Ada asked as you guys sat food down on the table.

“Yes but it’s going to be more stressful with Anna and it being twins will make it harder of course,” You explain while setting some silverware down after setting down the potatoes.

“Yeah it was hard when I married John he already had a lot kids when that happened,” Esme joked with you while nudging your arm.

“Plus with you getting pregnant every couple years,” Ada jokes while Esme rolls her eyes. It didn’t look like she took it to heart though.

“I don’t think it should be to long now,” Polly told you pointing to your belly.

“Well I hope so,” You laughed while leaning against the table. Before you could speak you felt some pain in your stomach which made you groan a bit.

“You okay Y/N,” Ada asked concern lacing her voice.

“Think it might be soon than later.”

Turns out you were in labor because not 5 minutes later you felt your water break which made you groan as another contraction hit you. Ada and Esme helped you upstairs to one of the rooms and laid you down.

You could hear Michael and Polly arguing. You knew Michael wanted to be with you when you gave birth since he was their for Anna’s birth. As another contraction hit you someone ran into the room and began to soothingly rub your back.

You looked and saw that it was Michael which made you sigh in relief.

“Michael you aren’t going to leave me are you,” You whimpered while some tears travelled down your face. Michael soothed you while wiping away you’re tears.

“Don’t worry love I’m not going anywhere,” Michael whispered in your ear.

You smile but let out a moan when you felt another contraction hit. You could feel them getting closer and closer.

Polly and Ada came up with some supplies and got you ready and when she said push you pushed with all your might.

It took about 5 minutes before one of your babies were out. You let out a breath before letting out a sigh but knowing it wasn’t over.

“It’s a girl,” Ada smile at you while Polly cut the cord. She wrapped the baby in a blanket while handing her to Michael. Michael started down at you’re daughter in awe.

It was broke as you felt another contraction hit you. Polly told you to push and Michael was by your side with your second daughter. Trying to comfort you while holding the baby. Ada took the baby from Michael knowing that you need some comfort.

“I can’t do it,” You sobbed as you leaned back on the bed and wiped the tears from your eyes.

“Don’t worry darling just a few more pushes and you’ll be done,” Michael cooed you.

You nodded before pushing again and only a few minutes later another baby was out you let out a happy sigh while leaning back on the pillow sweat coating your body.

“Another girl,” Polly whispered handing her to you after she cut the cord. Ada handed Michael the first baby and you looked at your babies in awe.

Ada and Polly left you alone for some privacy.

“They’re so beautiful,” You whispered while kissing your daughters nose.

Michael was about to respond before you guys heard someone say, “Mommy,” You looked up and and saw Anna standing there with a smile on her face.

“Come here sweet heart say hi to your sisters,” Michael smile as your first daughter came over to you and tried getting on the bed but failed a few times before succeeding. She went up to lay next to you staring at the new baby.

“What should we name them,” You ask while looking at Michael trying to wrap your arm around Anna with a baby in your arm.

“How ‘bout we both name one,” Michael suggested. You nodded and Michael whispered “Emily.”

“That’s a beautiful name Michael,” You whispered as Michael came and sat down next to you guys. “I’m thinking for this one Rose,” You suggested with a smile.

“I love it,” Michael pressed a small kiss to your lips.

You guys chuckled quietly when you heard Anna start to snore and you weren’t to far behind her.

Michael smiles warmly at all of you. His family.

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