#hes so smort

[neige-de-mars]

My fiance is finishing writing his medical guide

[yuri-is-online]

I can get why yutus so afraid of azul. He's heard a hundred stories about a suave, smug, but clingy octopus and then he meets him and hes this possessive little swinderler who's trying to get him to sell his soul to him and fuck his parent lmao

referencing the tags on this ask about this au

Tako Yutu didn't have the easiest time as a kid.

He was a chubby little thing raised by a single parent who didn't have the clearest memories of his father, or of their past at all really. I wrote Yuu and Yutu as being a sort of outcasts in the community because people thought they were strange, and were skeptical of Yuu's amnesia. Azul! Yutu was really bothered by that, much like his dad he got bullied and sought solace in books, but unlike him Yuu decided to enroll Yutu in some martial arts classes and hey. He was pretty good at those, his submission holds are real bad news, even won him some competitions. But he's not some muscle head even if he sort of looks like one (he didn't really drop his baby weight so much as he did bulk up) so when he gets his first real look at his father... everything in him is screaming that this guy is sketchy. He knows that Azul and the twins are watching him even if he can't see it outright and to make matters worse, when he asks his parent about him they make a face. A face Yutu knows well that he thought was reserved for the annoying nosy couple who lived next door to you and not his father. His father who Yuu's few memories had made sound wonderful; his father who was supposedly talented and hard working, smart and proud of it, but so desperately in love with his parent they still longed for him with broken memories in a completely different world. His father who Yuu had said he was so much like.

"He's not a bad guy." Yuu says and Grim huffs.

"Don't listen to them Henchuman 2." Yutu has no idea how he feels about Grim calling him that. "Azul's reeeeeeeal bad news. If he's interested in ya' it can only mean one thing, he's after your tuna and he's after your magic."

"That's two things." A smooth voice says at the same time he does and for once, Yutu sees surprise on Azul's face when he tries to make eye contact and not carefully calculated confidence.

"Well they do say great minds think alike." His father says and extends a hand. "But I must say you didn't strike me as the shy type, it is Yutu right?" The way he says it, the way he shakes his hand, Yutu knows he at least suspects him. So he smiles and makes sure to make his handshake just a touch too firm when he responds.

"That's right." Yutu is impressed that Azul doesn't flinch even slightly when he pulls back his hand, if anything his little action makes his smile wider. "And not so much shy as just curious and knowing better than to poke my nose where it doesn't belong."

"Not until you've asked anyway." Azul really isn't content with letting him remain ambiguous, he thinks nervously glancing back to Yuu. "But still there really is no need to bother the prefect over such trivial things, if you have questions about me you can just pay me a visit at the Mostro Lounge. My door is always open to poor unfortunate souls such as yourself." Azul smiles at him and adjusts his glasses and Yutu is... impressed even if the thought of being alone with this man terrifies him. But he's going to have to be eventually, Azul really wants to talk to him for some reason and Yutu finds himself wondering if he's going to find it possible to lie, or just what price he will be expected to pay to have the privilege of keeping his secrets.

But when he looks at the way Azul talks to Yuu... he isn't sure if he likes it but he does find it funny. Azul is so horrendously down bad and Yuu is so unaware of it (there's a part of him that thinks Azul might be a little bit jealous of him which he finds really funny). And Yutu understands why Yuu likes Azul so much. He is everything they remembered him being: smart, ambitious, and motivated. It makes him a little more secure in his existence even if he doubts that Azul will like having a son like him. But that's ok too because a son like him is exactly what's needed to make sure his parents get to stay together in this timeline.

now if only he can convince him to stop bugging him for his real name

[lunaticpsyker08]

fried rice after much procrastination ... this man has no art, and i need it. for the Add lore.

here are some scribble refs i'm providing, i simplified his design down so much. Oh- did i mention he has a cool tongue?

[moongothic]

Honestly what makes the idea of Moria joining Cross Guild really exciting for me is just the sheer combat potential he could bring (especially if Cross Guild managed to recruit a few more Shichibukai, Hancock especially)

And I don't mean on the zombie side of things, but rather, the fact that you can take shadows from people and put them into other living people to make them more powerful. Which, y'know, powerful enough with no-name goon shadows. But imagine doing that with a bunch of fucking Warlords

Like there's Option A of Moria taking a bunch of Warlord Shadows to either power himself up, or putting them into someone else (who's mentally strong enough to handle them) to make that guy Motherfucker Supreme

But then there's also Option B of just doing a little shadow shuffle where everybody gets the shadow from the Warlord next to them. Suddenly, every Warlord gets a Warlord-level power boost. That's broken as hell, these fuckers would be unstoppable

(Of course, if everyone had to lend their shadow to someone else, they'd all die if they touched sunlight too long. However, Crocodile can make sandstorms, so he could block sunlight. As I said, unstoppable)

[blacknidstang]

I want to fucking eat Dean Winchester for breakfast and lunch and dinner do you understand

[caeloservare]

@mama-grimm oh dear- xd

It was a tough morning. Or maybe an evening. At some point time stopped existing, all that remained was his twisting stomach and strange burning all over his body. He wasn't sure when he ended up laying awkwardly halfway sliding off his chair. Well, the floor must be nicely cold and it was a fair bit of tempting to just lay down right under his desk.

And then Salem picked him up.

"NO, nonono-!" Sudden movement made his stomach do a full flip.

He pushed away from her with all the strength he had. It hurt worse than he thought it would, burnt his throat. At least there won't be much cleaning as apparently his stomach was already empty.

"Do you... maybe... have sort of... healing magic?" He could really use some right now. No time for being sick.

[flobotomy]

[random-rabid-creature]

Pro tip!

If you have no time to loose. Never, and i mean NEVER ask dedede about pebbles and/or rocks, aslo don't ask him abt his personal collection bc you will be there for HOURS, a day if you give him enough time

[beauzos]

i made jokes about queerbaiting in SOBR but i legitimately do not know how people can actually queerbait (like, with the intent to queerbait, not people wanting to write queer relationships but being censored) cause i’m still only 4 chapters into this fucking book and i’m fighting for my life to keep the relationship unaddressed/subtle. i want Beau and Vincent to kiss. i want there to be a hardcore gay sex scene

[recallback]

When I first made Nihil, I made this big fancy ol' portrait piece of him that I've been proud of since forever. Now that I've kinda hashed out a design for Nemo - the independant entity that is Nihil's curse- I got bad brainworms to make a new version of the piece....

So, here that is! New symbolism, and a new face. Part of a pair, do not separate.

[ripromulus]

Gorgug Thistlespring my beloved

[stormyjisung]

Sebongs with their quick and witty thinking in this week's gose ep just got like a hundred times more attractive.

[cosmicgraves]

boops. hi hello. may i offer up one avi bhatia, a real neat guy i've been writing off and on for a few years now - involved in a larger human experiment group that i had but dwindled down to currently writing him only. he's pretty op with some cool af powers, but a real nice dude so he doesn't really delve into the dark places too much. so no worries unless you piss him off real bad ;)

[mondaymelon]

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

[cuntry-r0ckst4r]

"Go For the Throat" ~ jake peralta x reader

tw! fighting, hitting a throat, self-defense, genitalia mention, laryngeal trauma.

sum! "Have one of them teaching the other self-defense or fighting and one of them accidentally hits the other too hard." (ai fanfic trope again lord save me)

I'M SO MAD, THEY DIDN'T HAVE A B99 LIKE PICTURE THING IDK WHAT THEY'RE CALLED. I'M 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓎. js fyi i did watch b99 while watching so im pretty up to date on his character 😉😎 also established relationship between jake and reader

You weren't a detective but you did have a detective boyfriend. Who says he's "put a bunch Gruber's away"? Whatever that means.

Anyways, having a cop boyfriend meant that you were safe. When he was there at least. Otherwise it was up to you to keep yourself safe.

Except you never really got taught how to defend yourself. But recently Jake offered to teach you self-defense.

You were on your way to the 99th precinct, after looking up what to wear when you practice self-defense. It said comfortable clothes you can move around in: you brought tennis shoes, t-shirt, shorts, no jewelry.

You go to the detective floor for Jake, after grabbing his attention he took you to the gym. He had on his gray shirt and jeans. God he looks so good.

"i don't know what to do." You confess to him, looking at his body not his face.

He chuckled, "thats the whole reason you're here. Because you don't know what to do."

You roll your eyes at his witty response. He then starts to teach you what to do.

"I'm gonna teach ya how to throw a punch, kay?" He said a tad more seriously.

You nod your head, then he goes further to explain.

"Okay you wanna make sure you're always covering your face. so put your forearms in front of your face, but make sure your fists are still able to throw a punch." He does it as he explains, showing you a visual aid as well.

You copy him, as well as his spread feet that he didn't explain.

"Okay, good. But I'm gonna warn you, you're not always going to be able to do that so I need to see how good your punch is." He explains.

You look confused, "How am I supposed to show you?"

"Punch me."

He says it so carelessly meanwhile you're freaking out, "What? Why?"

"So I can see how you strong you punch? I feel like I made it pretty clear?" He says with his confused, teasing smile.

You roll your eyes at his sarcastic come back, "Where?"

"uhh my stomach. No that might could hurt bad... uh my.. hand!" He says, while he was thinking about it he was doing that thing where he looks around a bunch.

You snicker at his antics before hitting his hands, the way he told you to do it. You hit hard enough that every time you hit him his hands went back. He also wasn't known for being the strongest. No matter how much Jake had told you otherwise.

"Noice, okay now let's do a body part where it wont move backwards when it gets hit." He has his proud, genuine, sweet smile on as he says this, "Hit my shoulder"

"Won't that hurt?" You put your hands down a little more as you look at him concerned.

He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Thanks babe, but I'm so buff that I probably won't even feel it."

Again, you roll your eyes and scoff at his comment. God he was gaslighting himself.

"What I'm saying is there a bunch of strong, tough bones in your shoulder that will hurt if I try to fist my fist through it?" You said, matter-of-factly.

His face came to a realization of what you meant then he smiled, "Oh yeah, smort. Hit me in the chest, it'll hurt less. Especially with all of these... chest bumps... that I do with, uh, my gym bro's."

You shook your head, putting your fists back to the way he instructed you.

BAM.

You meant to aim or the chest.

You thought you were hitting him a little below the collar bone.

Except you were a little off. You hit him in the throat.

He was making a wheezing noise, holding his throat. Your hands were still near your face, but this time they aren't kept in fists. They're flexing as you freak out.

"Oh my god, Jake! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to!" You say panicked.

He doesn't respond, he's still bent over an end table, holding his throat, wheezing.

You grab his phone, unlocking it, and call some of his coworkers upstairs to join you. Those being: Amy, Charles, and Terry.

They all come downstairs after seeing he had been put in a group chat with the only message reading, "come to the gym NOW."

They then see Jake gasping for air. Charles was the first one by his side.

"Jakey! Are you alright?" Charles asked panicked as well.

Jake gives him a look of concern and confusion (eyes widening and brows furrowed).

"What the hell happened down here?!" Terry asks somewhat loud, "Peralta I'm gonna take you to the hospital."

Charles, Terry, and Jake all leave. Jake getting admitted to the ER more than likely. Leaving you and Amy alone. Together. Where you probably just killed Jake.

"What happened?" Amy asks, genuinely just confused.

That's when you word vomitted.

"Jake was teaching me self-defense so I could protect myself when he isn't around, he told me to him in the chest but I missed and hit him in the neck!" You speak at a rapid pace.

You feel so guilty, he has a now life-threatening injury because of you. Amy comes up to you with a sympathetic look, rubbing your shoulder, "When the sarge texts me I'll let you know and I'll take you to the hospital."

You nod your head at her comment, appreciating her kindness.

About half an hour later Amy gets a text from Terry and she takes you to the hospital in her car.

You were allowed to visit him in his room, Terry had to drag Charles out so you two could have alone time.

Jake wasn't weezing anymore but his voice was super raspy.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to hit you in the throat. I meant to punch you in the chest, like you said. I feel so bad." You again rant.

"It isn't 100% your fault. I should've gotten you to punch the actual punching bag, the thing that is made to punch." He says somewhat regretfully, still coming out in weird teasing tone.

Your eyebrows were practically knitted together. He could see the guilt, pain, and regret in your face.

"Don't feel bad. We're both at fault. Hitting me in the chest also would've hurt me, and risked my heart. The doctors said I have Laryngeal trauma," He tries to explain, "but they also said that nothing looks severe and that I should be back to normal soon."

You nod, understanding that nothing is too severe. Still, you feel bad that this whole time you could've avoided this. If you were smart enough to say, "Hey! This isn't a good idea, let's just use the punching bag!" or if you had just done what he originally said and punched his shoulder.

"I think that is what you should use that move for self-defense." Jake says jokingly.

You rolled your eyes at him and laughed, "or kick 'em in the genitals. Hurts for girls and guys."

"I don't want to practice that move with you."

[artistic-misf1t]

From Instagram I also bring, the inevitable.

Rat Trap pt 1 😨

Can you tell which route I chose when playing? 👩🏾‍🦯

When talking to the WONDERRRRRFUL @skrzydlate , I got a WHOLE lot of inspiration AAAND thanks to the convo and Pinja’s very SMORT brain , WE GOT SOME YUMMY HEADCANONS ROUND THESE PARTS‼️‼️‼️

1.) The Lamb’s possible absolutely BOILING grief and anger that we both feel like can be a bit- OVERLOOKED sometimes

2.) The headcanon that rather than controlling the Lamb completely and or being the direct cause of some events in Cotl, the crown not only feeds off of but also ENHANCES emotions that could lead to sinful behaviors (such as resentment, bitterness, envy, lust, greed or wrathfulness. ) — So that when the Lamb finds themselves angry, all that just sorta RISES to the surface. Meaning the crown can never fully be blamed for the Lamb’s actions.

3.) The Fox’s spewings can work to influence one’s mind should the listener be in a state of confliction, confusion, despair, or disarray.

He’s VERY convincing.

4.) FoxLamb.

4.5.) That the Lamb allows the Fox to get away with things NO ONE ELSE would get away with.

5.) Foxlamb.