#hes not the only one at fault for every issue this damn school has !!!

[raine-but-irl]

you ever see SUCH a display of "how the fuck can u even do such a senseless thing" it makes you lose your fucking mind??

[aajjks]

Mommy Issues (IV)

synopsis. They wanted you, they needed you.

pairing. yandere!single dad!jungkook x fem!reader.

warnings. yändêrê bêhãvïöür, 0 tö ä 100 rêäl quïck, ängst, jk ïs kïnda än äss ïn thïs, mänïpülätïön, dëprëssïon, mëntïöns of vïöliêncè.

note. hello y’all. 😳 umm it’s surely been a while… but here’s another update, enjoy! and please share your feedback and thoughts! also send in asks for mi characters as well. AND PLZ DONT FORGET ABOUT MI KOO.

series masterlist.

taglist: @mageprincess7 @bids97 @saltandsugaa @minshookie29 @oppa-agust-d @sugarvenomlit @jinat8mydumplings82 @bloombaekhyun @peach-olic @multifandombishthatlovekth @vcutvante @minshookie29 @douknowbts @xjiminsthighsx @knjkitten @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @koocreampie @kooksmataec @monijeon @swaneffects @dragons-flare @dragonjimin @illnevertrustmyselfagain @itsjust2am @vicki1031 @burnahtsw @fjssk @jamacaicanxbarbie [will tag more people later!]

Jungkook regrets saying that out loud because now you’re gonna think that he’s a creep, or definitely a weirdo. You’re staring at him completely caught off guard and he doesn’t blame you.

But before he can overthink and let his anxiety take over, because of how creeped out you must be at his remark, why did he even say that out loud it was unnecessary… you give him a small smile, and all of his nerves immediately calm down. The effect that you have on him… he’s so in love with you.

“U-Uh I’m so sorry how inappropriate of me… yeah, I remember not in the school, right.. Ms yn I’m so sorry.” Jungkook looks down in his lap, but all he sees is Jeon Seol staring back at his father, with a confused look in his Bambi eyes, even though there’s no no one left except for him, you and his son he still feels really bad because you must feel really uncomfortable.

“Well..” you clear your throat, “I don’t think there’s anything in particular that I need to tell you about the progress of his studies because he’s doing good in them but behavior wise,” your smile, fades a little and you’re all serious now, he notices every inch of your expression.

You look concerned.

“you don’t have to worry about Seol getting lost in the school the assistant teacher will take care of him because there is something that I need to discuss with you about him in private.”

Jungkook looks at you with confusion, because what possibly could you be telling him that you need Seol out of the room for?

“I-Is everything all right?” Jungkook stutters out, his nerves are back once again. You don’t say anything and that just scares me one more because what did his five year old do for you to be so serious? But jungkook has got your hint and he whispers something in his son’s ear before Seol runs off.

You sigh before saying, “Mr. jeon.. I’m a little concerned.”

“On Thursday, Seol punched a student because he said I loved him more than Seol.” You cross your arms across your chest. Your demeanor has completely shifted and you look so serious.

Damn, you look really hot- he’s so focused on you that he doesn’t even listen to what you’re saying that is until the word punched settles in his brain.

“what? W-What?” he’s so confused right now. Jungkook cannot believe that his five-year-old punched someone. “Uhh what?” Dumbfounded he asks you once again.

“Yes… the child was even bleeding…” you shake your head, “as his teacher, I feel like I failed him because he wasn’t an aggressive violent child..” Jungkook doesn’t like the way you get a little sad.

No, it’s not your fault.

“Mr Jeon.. he’s a little possessive… for a five-year-old I don’t think that’s healthy… I mean I love him with all my heart I love all my students, but.. it seems like he wants me to only love him.”

Jungkook wants to scoff. And what is so wrong with that? Yeah he shouldn’t have punched the kid, but the kid must’ve instigated him. But he decides to keep his expressions neutral.

“Is everything all right? you’re his parent and I think it’s my responsibility to let you know everything about him.” The way you speak is so tender, so professional and gentle, but he feels a little pissed off.

You have left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“A-Are you saying that you don’t love him? Or that he’s got a problem?” His could you- can’t you see you’re breaking jungkooks heart right now?

“If only he had a mother…” he sighs, sadly.

Jungkook nods, coughing so he can clear his throat, he doesn’t want to come off as mean, but.. he cannot help it anymore.

“I understand… I think that my son has misunderstood you.” He begins, as he gets closer to your face. “he has confused your role in his life, I’m so sorry for that, but the truth is that he sees you as his mother-rather than a teacher and..” he takes a breath, “you’re not his mother. You’re just his teacher.” He barely manages to resist Make sure that his tone is appropriate.

And you’re speechless.

He immediately sees a change in your expressions and your mouth is a little wide when you hear him say that. “ I’ll make sure that he understands that and he will never do it again I am so sorry.” Jungkook smiles, Before he leans back in the chair.

“I’ll even apologize to the boys parents.” Jungkook just wants to get away from you now, first his father and now you.

This is the worst day ever.

And tomorrow he has to meet his father. Someone kill him.

“can I go now? Also, please could you tell me the boys name?” He is not speaking to you with a smile. As you tell him the boys name and his parents names, he can tell that you’re almost about to cry, for some reason.

That’s how he feels right now too. Maybe you’re not what he thought you were. You will never understand him or his son.

“Well Ms L/N have a good day.” he chooses to address you with your last name as compared to your first… jungkook doesn’t know why he’s feeling so bitter right now, but he feels like you’ve crushed his heart.

He just made him feel like his son has a problem and that you don’t love him. He almost feels a sense of betrayal.

He can just sulk in the car so he gets up before bowing to you, as his son’s teacher, he has to show you some respect, and he picks up Seol’s bag that was on the floor before he ran off, and he’s out of the room.

What a heavy heart, and a heavy conscious.

It’s about time that jungkook lets his son know that you’re not his mother. You’ll never be. You’ll never understand them. Truth is that you’ll never want them and need them like they do.

[victoriadallonfan]

You were an actor, and a damn good one if your many fans were to be believed. An early success, only a few year out of high school andl you were a near household name. And for a time everything was justabout perfect. But it couldn’t last forever. A decade or two later and you were showing signs of aging. It was nothing that you thought was an issue, but your agent on the other hand? It was an issue to them.

It was nothing major at first, a tuck there, a lift here. Just enough to maintain your youthful beauty. But they slowly became more drastic. There was a bit of pushback from you to your agent, but they just insisted it was all necessary to keep active in the industry. But with every cut, every injection, you doubted them more and more.

It all came to a head when you looked in the mirror and realized you could no longer recognize it as yours. Trigger

(sorry if it's a bit bad, I don't have much experience in writing trigger events)

It's no biggie!

This definitely has changer aspects as a big focus, the lack of identity, but that it's all coming from a singular source (the agent) could give it a striker influence.

Power:

Malluscious (Changer-Striker) - Malluscious has a two-fold power; the ability to form biological alterations within his own body and then a touch based transfer toward anyone he can reach.

The alterations he makes within his own body are often superficial at worst (changing hair color, jaw size, a bit of muscle mass) or minor boon at best (tougher skin/bone/muscle, better than human eyesight, enhanced sensation of fine hairs for movement, faster blood clotting). Malluscious has very limited control over these alterations that accumulate over the course of the day, turning him into a somewhat dark, fae-ish, monster as days go by. Superhuman, but losing the identity he craves.

When he transfers these alterations onto whomever he's touching, the alterations have none of the manton protections that he is afforded: the bones grow dangerously dense, skin solidifies near instantly, or drowns in the blood produced at an extreme rate. As much as Malluscious would love to be able to off put all these mutations onto a single victim, the hosts tend to die from 1 to 3 mutations, meaning he must target several victims to be rid of the mutations.

Should he successfully do so, his power allows him a grace period of "normalcy" for two to three days, barring him being attacked or near death.

When he first gained his power, he did not truly understand the consequences of his power, going into hiding in the city as urban myth for two weeks, gaining a fan following for his dark design and glimpses of his beauty online.

It was by the third week that his mind was more altered, taking on a more predatory, analytical sense, in addition to his body. Over course of 12 hours, he went on a spree of spreading his alterations to all those he catalogued as being at fault: doctors, nurses, and finally the agent who pressured him into all of this.

For the first time in weeks, he finally felt normal... as well as the weight of what he had done and how his life had been effectively ruined. He went into hiding, no one putting two and two together for months as he traveled the country, passing along his alterations as he went.

By the time that the heroes had identified him and labeled him as Malluscious, he had near a hundred dead to his credit and had long since worked to ignore the guilt in his heart.

[nat-space-obsessed]

"I'm 23." "No, You're Not."

Crossposted on AO3!

It turns out to be very hard to get a tattoo when you look eternally 14.

Prompt by @charcoalhawk

"Kid, You're like twelve. That's a fake ID. I'll get in trouble if I let you get a tattoo here." 

"As I said, I am literally 23. I've been 23 for five months now. It is on my ID. I swear to you that my ID is real." Danny repeated for the third time that hour. 

Danny had been going to get a tattoo, his second, actually, and both times so far he had come across one issue: 

His eternally 14 year old face. 

"I told you, this can't be a real ID, you look twelve."

"I look fourteen, thank you very much."

"You realize that doesn't help, don't you?" The girl behind the counter retorted. 

No, it doesn't. 

One thing about being immortal is that you forget that you are immortal. Danny's ID has his birth date and his current photo. It's not his fault that he looks fourteen!

Actually it is. He's the one who died. 

"If I told you it's a health condition, would you believe me?"

"Not without a doctor's note. Either way, kid, even if you are somehow older than 16, you can't get a tattoo even with parental consent. We live in Illinois."

Danny hated being locked out of things due to his perceived age. Even when he was in college, and all of his classmates thought he skipped a bunch of grades to get where he was. Every time he met someone new he had to go through the same spiel. 

'I'm nineteen, yes I look young, it's a medical condition, yes I am in my second year of college' yadda yadda yadda. It had been four years and it only got worse. 

It was worse when he was going to different age restricted places, such as bars and tattoo parlors, which thought that he was a literal kid. 

"Look. I already have a tattoo, isn't that enough??"

"How do I know you didn't have a friend do that for you, huh? I remember middle school with all of the stick-n-pokes."

"Does this look like a stick-n-poke???" No, it doesn't. It was a full color three quarter arm in a neo-traditional style. It was a ghost, because he loves his irony. 

Danny kept staring at the girl behind the counter, not blinking the whole time, as she stared at him incredulously. 

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you keep being a problem."

"I'm not being a problem! You're the one who isn't listening as I try to explain my situation!"

"Kid, you aren't going to get a tattoo from this place." She sighed. "Look, I can call my boss and she can make the final call on it." 

"Yes! Please! Do!"

The girl in front of him walked into the back room and called a name that Danny hadn't heard since high school. "Hey! Star!"

Wait, Star? 

"What is it now, Kay?" A familiar voice rang out, in an exasperated voice. 

"Look, there's this kid at the front who says he's 23, he has an ID that looks like it checks out, but he looks twelve. Literally twelve." 

"God, Kay. Just tell him no!" A woman walked out from the back room, and looked at Kay, then made eye contact with Danny.

"Wait, FENTON? Damn, you literally haven't changed since freshman year!" The blonde girl laughed. 

"Star! It's been so long, I can't believe you recognize me!" Danny smiled. "You started a tattoo parlor?" 

"Yeah, after high school, I decided to apprentice at that one parlor down the road from school? Yeah you know the one, right?"

"I got my first tattoo there! this one," Danny pointed to his three quarter. 

"Was it James? I apprenticed under him." Star smiled at Danny. 

"Wait, Star, you know this kid?" 

"We went to high school together. I was a bit of an asshole, but we made up at the end of senior year! We'd all been through a lot together, you know what they say about trauma bringing people together!"

Danny smirked at Star. "You still in contact with Paulina?" He started, "Have you heard about her new girlfriend?"

"Oh yeah! We had a double date not too long ago, you know, me and Kwan."

"I always thought you and Kwan would get together! You guys were always pretty good with each other."

"WAIT, wait wait, so Star, he's not lying about his age??" The girl behind the counter said. 

"Yeah, he's looked that way since freshman year, some sort of medical condition, right?"

"It was a whole thing in senior year, we were comparing yearbook photos, it was so funny to see Dash freak out like that."

Danny and Star laughed at the memory. 

"So, can I get my tattoo now?" 

"Oh for sure! I'd love to get you started on that, do a quick consultation." Star led Danny to her office in the back. 

The girl at the front counter grasped her head in frustration. 

[catierambles]

Blood Moon Ch.1

Pairing: Syverson x Annalisa Caulfield (OFC)

Warnings: *waves vaguely*

I'm not labeling word counts anymore, not for multi-chap

The bar was decently packed for a Saturday night but Sy was by himself, nursing a beer at the end of the bar, half paying attention to the game on the TV. He was drinking slowly enough to where he didn't risk even getting tipsy, so driving home wouldn't be an issue. Whenever that happened.

The bartender and all the servers knew him by name, but only because he's been going there since he turned 21 and always made sure to tip well.

"Sure I can't get you something to eat, sweety?" A server asked, appearing at his elbow.

"I'm good, doll, but thank you." He said, giving her a small smile.

"Okay, well let me know if you change your mind and I'll get it started for you." She said and he gave her a nod. With that, she walked away to pay attention to her section, leaving him with his beer. With a sigh, he rolled the bottle back and forth between his palms and resisted a sneeze when a scent hit his nose. Cucumber melon. Damn, he hated that smell. Hated it in high school when every girl slathered it on, flooding the hallways with it like a bio weapon.

“Kyle?” Closing his eyes briefly, he let out another sigh. Only family and one other person called him that, and she wasn't family.

“Hey, Tiff.” He said, turning on his stool to see his ex standing there.

“What're you doing here?”

“It's a bar. I'm having a beer.” Any anger he would have felt at seeing her had faded a long time ago, but she just wouldn't leave it, and him, alone.

“By yourself?” She snorted.

“None of your business.”

“I'm surprised you're not here with some skank.”

“I never cheated on you, Tiffany, not once. Not even after you banged every guy you could while I was deployed.”

“I was lonely, Kyle.”

“And I was gettin' shot at, Tiffany.” He said, “Whatever, it don't matter anymore.”

“It's not my fault you—”

“Oh my god, baby, I'm so sorry!” He heard and looked over just in time for a woman to throw her arms around his neck. “Play along.” She whispered in his ear. “I'm so sorry I'm late! Traffic was horrible!”

“I-It's okay.” He stammered as she pulled away, looking into convincingly apologetic eyes the color of the water off Corpus Christi on a summers day. “I'm just glad you got here safe.”

“Uh, excuse me?” Tiffany asked, “Who're you?”

“Annalisa.” She said, looking at her. “And you are?”

“Tiffany. Kyle's ex.”

“Weird, he never mentioned you.” She said simply, “Well, I'm his current and you are interrupting date night. Even though I was late to it. Sorry!”

“It's fine, babe.” Sy said, placing a hand at her low back, her dark flannel warm under his palm. Thick, rich dark hair was braided over her shoulder haphazardly almost like it had been an afterthought, and she had smelled like cedar and sage when she hugged him.

“Well, I've never heard of you.” Tiffany said, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“Well, I don't update my exes on my personal life. Can't imagine why he would.” Annalisa said, “But again, you're interrupting. So if you could please.” She made a shooing gesture and Tiffany scoffed.

“Listen, bitch, you—” Annalisa suddenly stepped towards her, her back to Sy and Tiffany's words died in her throat.

“Walk. Away.” She said and he didn't know what she saw on Annalisa's face, but it made her pale and Sy watched her walk away quickly. Once she was gone, Annalisa turned back to him. "Sorry about that, you looked like you needed the save.” She said and Sy snorted.

“No, I...I appreciate it.” Sy said, “She has a habit of showin' up and givin' me a headache.”

“Well, I can pretend to take a phone call, look horribly guilty, and walk away with you looking horribly annoyed. If you want.” She said, “For appearance sake.”

“Actually, um...” Sy said, “How 'bout I buy you a drink? As a thank you for savin' my ass.”

“I'd like that.” She said, “Annalisa Caulfield.”

“Kyle Syverson, but everyone calls me Sy.” He said, and shrugged, “Well, mostly everyone. Why don't we get a booth? Kick this “date night” off proper?”

“Yeah, let's go find a spot.” She said, giving him a small smile and he grabbed his beer, sliding off the stool. He followed her through the bar towards the booths lining the wall, sliding in after her when they found an empty.

“You make a habit of savin' guys from their exes?” Sy asked and she snorted.

“No.” She said, “I don't know why I did it, to be honest. I noticed you two talking, but it didn't look like a happy conversation, and the next thing I knew I was hugging you and apologizing.”

"Well, I appreciate it, really." He said, "You're probably wonderin' why I needed savin'."

"A bit, yeah, but it's your business so I wasn't going to ask." She said and he gave a soft huff of a laugh, the corner of his lips perking into a small smile.

"While I was busy dodgin' bullets overseas, she was sleepin' with just about every guy in town." He said. "Army." He clarified, seeing the questioning look she was giving him. "Used to be, anyway."

"How'd you find out?"

"One of my buddies took pity on me and told me." Sy said, "I confronted her and to her credit, she didn't try to lie. Not that it means much. She tried to turn it around and blame me for it, sayin' she wouldn't've if I had been around more."

"Bullshit." Annalisa said.

"Yeah that's what I said too." Sy said, "Right before I told her to pack her shit and get out."

"How long ago was it? I'm guessing not recent?"

"Long enough for the hurt and anger to go away.” He said, “Now seein' her just makes me tired. The fact she can't seem to leave it the fuck alone makes me exhausted." Her hand slid over his arm and he gave her an appreciative smile. "Enough of my pity party. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well I was in the Army, what do you do?"

"Nothing, actually." She said and he arched a brow at her, "Well, that's not entirely true. I'm co-owner of a couple clubs downtown. Pendulum and Tell-Tale Heart. I handle the background stuff, my partners handle the up front side of it."

"Heard of'em. Never been, though." Sy said, "Rave clubs ain't really my scene."

"Nor mine, to be honest." She admitted, "They do very well though, especially in big metro areas."

“I didn't actually get you that drink as thanks.” Sy said with an awkward huff of a laugh, “Here we are talkin' and I forgot.”

“Don't worry about it.” She said with a smile, leaning forward with her arms crossed on the table, “I much prefer conversation over alcohol.”

Sy woke hearing voices, rolling over to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, haloed in moonlight.

“Yeah.” She said quietly, “Yeah, I'll be there in a bit.” Reaching out, he ran his fingertips down her bare back and she shivered. As the old adage went, one thing led to another and they wound up back at his place. Turning, she gave him an apologetic look. “I gotta go. Something came up.”

“Sure I can't convince you to stay?” He asked, reaching out and holding her hand gently, his thumb moving over her skin. She seemed to think it over, regarding him evenly.

“They can handle it without me.” She said and got back into bed after chucking her phone back on the nightstand, Sy chuckling as he pulled her closer, pressing his lips to hers.

[baby-walsh]

Love's Tavern

Summary: Rick discovers a new side of himself at Love's Tavern.

Tags: Sex Club, Glory Hole, Bi-Curiosity, Cheating, Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Anonymous Sex, Gay Sex, Internal Conflict

Rick Grimes/Shane Walsh

Explicit 18+

Notes: I don't upload here anymore because tbh I kinda hate Tumblr, but it was requested so here we are.

Rick has been struggling recently. Getting into fights with his wife and trying to keep that fact hidden from his twelve year old son, Carl. He’s not even sure what they’re fighting about most of the time, but it’s hard to spend ten hours at work then come home not knowing which side of his wife he’s going to get. It doesn’t help that he’s been getting a lot of domestic violence calls lately. He can’t escape the fighting even at work.

He’s growing increasingly frustrated with life. Meanwhile, his best friend and work partner, Shane, is doing well in comparison. He’s unmarried, no kids, no one to answer to. He’s handsome and smart and does a good job at work. Rick wouldn���t want to have anyone else as a partner. He’s only slightly jealous hearing about Shane’s latest conquests. Rick swears he has a new girl in his bed every night. He zones out listening to Shane go into graphic detail, thinking about how he himself hasn’t gotten laid in three weeks.

“Hey man, you okay?” Shane finally notices that Rick isn’t listening. Rick shrugs.

“Sorry, yeah, I’m just tired,” he replies. “Carl’s having a hard time adjusting to the school schedule after being able to do whatever he wanted all summer. We didn’t get his routine established in time. So he’s cranky every morning and Lori acts like it’s somehow my fault. I’m the bad guy.”

“I’m sorry, man. He’s a good kid. He’ll adjust.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“Why don’t we have a drink after work, huh?”

“So I can get yelled at for not coming straight home?” Rick rolls his eyes. Not at Shane or his suggestion, but knowing that Lori would be pissed even at the hypothetical scenario.

“C’mon, I’ll call and tell her it’s my idea, okay? Just one drink.”

“You’re going to get me in trouble.”

“Okay, then don’t tell her we’re having a drink. Tell her it’s a mandatory meeting.”

Rick’s thinking it over when a call comes in, interrupting Shane’s begging.

+

By the end of the thankfully uneventful day, Rick decided fuck it. He’s a grown man and he can go have a drink after work with his friend if he feels like it. And if Lori doesn’t like it, then that’s her issue.

Rick’s sitting at the table with Shane and a couple other guys from work. They’re just chatting about the day when one of the guys mentions a club that just opened up across town. Shane and Rick were talking amongst themselves when it was mentioned. Shane stops and looks over at him.

“I’m sorry, did you say sex club?”

“Yeah! My friend emailed me a link to the website. It has the address and the rules and whatnot.”

“Sex club? Is that even legal?” Rick asks.

“It’s anonymous from what I saw on the website. I think it’s mostly gloryholes.”

“What’s it called?” Shane asks.

“Love’s Tavern.”

“Why's it called that?”

“I think it's to be discreet.”

“Huh, I don’t really get the appeal. I’m just saying if I’m getting my dick sucked, I wanna see who’s doing it, y’know?” he adds, taking a swig of his beer. He nudges Rick, who fell into contemplative thought again. “Right?”

“Well, I’m married, so there’s no mystery there,” Rick laughs weakly at his attempted joke. “But I mean yeah, even if I was getting blown…” he trails off, staring at the wall again.

“Damn, Rick, maybe you should visit this place.”

Maybe he should.

+

Rick gets home a little later than he intended, having had more than one drink with Shane. It’s nine PM when he stumbles in, exhausted and ready to shower and sleep. He’s in the bedroom unbuttoning his uniform shirt, getting ready to shower when his wife Lori walks in. In an instant, the mood of the room shifted.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Was with Shane.” he mumbles.

“Were you drinking? Oh, don’t mind me,” she mutters, making a point to push past him to sit on the bed while she takes her earrings out. “I was just putting our son to bed. He asked for you, by the way.”

Rick sighs, looking towards the door. Lori sees and snorts.

“Don’t even bother. He’s already asleep.”

“He knows I work long days.”

“Not long enough to go drinking for who knows how long while I’m here picking up our son from tutoring, making dinner, helping with homework, packing lunch for tomorrow and on top of that cleaning the house.”

“He does his homework with the tutor,” Rick groans, really not wanting to have this conversation right now.

“Yes, usually, but he has a science project to do.” Lori purses her lips.

“I’m sorry, okay?”

He hopes that she will just drop it. He kneels in front of her and takes her hands in his.

“Work has been stressful lately and I just wanted to spend some time with my friend and not think about it for a while.” Rick explains. Though he feels he shouldn’t have to because, between the two of them, only he has been shot at and almost killed.

“You spend way more than enough time with Shane,” Lori says, snatching her hands out of his. She gets into bed, pulling the comforter over her legs. Rick stands up and stares at her.

“Can I make it up to you?” he asks.

“Whatever way you think you can.” she replies primly.

“Can we have sex tonight?” His tone is defeated and his shoulders slump even more when he gets the answer,

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. He grabs clean boxers and pajama pants from his drawers, slamming them shut as he goes to the bathroom.

“You’re going to wake Carl!” Lori hisses.

He leaves the room and doesn’t look back.

Rick’s never cheated in his life. Not in anything or on anyone. The idea of cheating on his wife should be the furthest thing to ever cross his mind. But he can’t handle this growing frustration any longer and he can only jack off so much.

It’s been two days since their fight and Rick and Lori have spoken only a handful of words to each other. Rick made an effort on his day off to spend it with his son. He even helped with his science project, giving Carl ideas on what to do. He mowed the lawn, took the trash out, and pulled the autumn decorations from the attic. He told Lori that he’d make dinner so that she didn’t have to worry about it. Yet it wasn’t enough to stop her from criticizing him. Only in a slight, backhanded way when in front of Carl. His efforts went unrewarded by his wife.

This morning, Rick woke up with a headache and the smell of burnt pancakes filling the room. He laid in bed, contemplating his life choices, when he heard his wife and son arguing.

Another day of hanging out, doing some chores, taking Carl to the park, and getting fast food for dinner. Rick feels good about the time he spends with his son, but he feels looming anxiety about Lori. He doesn’t know what she wants him to do. It’s not like he’s unappreciative of the things she does. And he does things too. Mostly the things she can’t do. And the things he can’t do, he gets Shane to do.

Maybe it’s the animosity that’s driven him to this point. Quite literally, he thinks, as he stares at the sign on the building. After another night of being spurned, instead of masturbating, Rick jumped in his car. He didn’t think about where he was going, but subconsciously, he knows why he ended up here.

Love’s Tavern

The place is well lit, but out of the way. Hidden, in a way, like you wouldn’t see it if you didn’t know it was there. Rick steels his nerves as he gets out of the car. He’s just going to check it out. He locks his car, then heads inside the building. The heavy wooden door leads to a foyer with another wooden door. He opens that one then walks up to the desk.

“Welcome to Love’s Tavern! What are you looking for today?” the cheerful girl at the desk says.

“Well, uh, I’ve never been here.” Rick says, suddenly nervous. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Maybe something darker, more seedy. He definitely didn’t expect a perky blonde explaining the types of rooms and experiences they offer. She explains the rules and safety precautions. Rick’s heart starts to pound as he realizes that he’s actually going to do this.

“And it’s just $35 to get in. It’s to cover maintenance of the facilities and we provide condoms and lube, so it also goes towards the cost of covering that.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” Rick pulls out his wallet, handing over the money. She asks if he wants a receipt and he declines. “Um, so, you mentioned one side being…straight? Can you explain again?”

“Oh, absolutely! So, this side to your left is designated for ladies and the right side is designated for men. So pick your preference and if you ever forget, just look at the lights! The ladies’ side is lit up pink in the halls and the men’s side is blue.”

“And, um, this is…anonymous, right?”

“Yes, we don’t keep any records of who’s here. There’s cameras, but the footage is wiped after 30 days and we only pull it in case an incident occurs.” she replies. She sees Rick’s apprehension. “Which side did you want?” she asks.

“Uh, women,” Rick answers, feeling hot in the face as the pretty receptionist takes his hand and leads him past the desk and to the hallway. She takes him to the left side where the lighting shifts from white to pink.

“The open room is where the voyeurs like to hang out, but for your first time, go in here. It’s private, but connected to this room here. What someone would think a traditional glory hole is.” she explains.

“Wait, how do you keep the sides separate? Like in these private rooms?”

She points to the signs on the doors. Like a bathroom has men and women decals, these rooms have decals that are a little different. The room she has Rick going into has a stick figure man, hands on his hips, erection pointed straight out. The room next to it has a decal of a stick figure with long hair and very prominent breasts on her knees, facing the other door.

“People are good about respecting the rules. We haven’t had any incidents so far, but honestly, the gay side sees a lot more action than you’d think in a town like this.”

“Huh…” Rick looks down the hall toward the men’s side, where there does seem to be a buzz of activity.

“Have fun.” The receptionist walks off. Rick swallows hard and enters the room, locking the door behind him like he was told. The room is small, but large enough to move around comfortably. The room is bathed in pink light and has a bench on one side. Rick notices three different holes, at different heights, on the opposite wall. To his surprise, there’s already a mouth at the hole in the middle. Rick looks around, then decides to just go for it. He walks up and unzips his pants, pulling his cock out. He strokes it a few times, getting it hard, before sliding it through the hole into the waiting mouth of the girl on the other side. He hears a muffled moan, feeling the vibration around his shaft as she takes him all the way into her throat. Rick groans. He’s not sure if she’s good at this or if it’s just been too long. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s a stranger’s mouth on his cock. He presses against the wall, loving the feeling of being sucked. He’s pulled out of it when she suddenly grabs his cock, tightly holding it in one hand. Rick is questioning what’s happening as he feels something rolling onto his cock. A condom, he quickly realizes. The girl lets go of his cock to quickly turn around, presenting her pussy to him. She helps guide him in. It’s a little awkward through the wall, but Rick’s length is enough to fill her up. Rick definitely wasn’t expecting this. He was expecting a quick little blow job. Just something to ease his stress. Now he’s fucking a stranger through a wall, listening to her quiet moans as she bounces on his cock.

“Fuck,” Rick groans, instinctively pulling away as he cums suddenly.

The girl whines. Rick pulls the condom off, tossing it into the trash can in the corner of the room. He cleans himself up and wants to get out of there before the full weight of what he’s just done can crush him.

He leaves quickly and quietly, not making eye contact with the receptionist on his way out. That was an expensive way to cum in five minutes, he thinks as he gets into his car. He drives for a little bit before making his way home.

+

The weirdest part about visiting Love’s Tavern is that Rick knows he should feel guilty about it, but he doesn’t. He should feel guilty for wanting to go back at least, yet he doesn’t. Rick goes back two more times. The first of the two times, he gets sucked by two different girls and fucks one of them, finishing in the other’s mouth. It’d be the perfect story to tell Shane. The second time, he braves going into the free room. He pretends not to notice the other guys as he stands in line to fuck a girl who has her legs chained up. Both times, he was drawn to the men’s side. The receptionist is right. Even at peak times, that side is always busier than the side with women. He hates to admit that he’s curious about it. The next time he goes, he takes a right instead of a left, hoping that the receptionist doesn’t notice. The men’s side is a different vibe. The free room takes a lot of space. There’s a bunch of guys mingling about. Some getting sucked off, others thrusting into holes in the walls. Others stroking themselves while watching the action. Rick looks around the blue lit room, looking for the private rooms like on the other side. He goes down a hallway and finds a bunch of doors. One on the end is open, so he goes in and locks it behind him. To his surprise, there’s a cock through the hole in the wall. It shouldn’t be that shocking given where he is, he muses.

Now what?

He’s never thought about sucking a guy off. Yet he wandered over to this side of the establishment so a guy could suck him off.

“Come on, will you get on your knees already?” the guy on the other side groans. Rick jumps at being called out. He could just leave. Yet he’s strangely aroused by this. Rick finds himself walking up to the hole and kneeling. He tentatively takes the thick cock into his hand, stroking it gently. Then, just as the guy is about to protest again, Rick just goes for it, sliding his mouth around the length. He suddenly understands the hesitation from every girl who’s given him a blow job for the first time. He wonders if he’s doing this correctly as he bobs his head. The guy groans, thrusting forward. Rick nearly gags as the man’s cum shoots into the back of his throat. Surprisingly, he swallows it down. The guy walks away and just as Rick regains his composure, another cock is waiting for him. Pulling his own erection out, he strokes himself as he leans in to take this one into his mouth. It’s shorter, but veiny, Rick determines as he explores it with his tongue. He strokes himself faster, finishing just as he receives a second load of cum in his mouth.

“Hey twink, ever get your ass eaten?” a guy says through the hole.

“Uh, no…” Rick replies, unnerved by the sudden conversation.

“Put it against the hole.” the guy replies.

The request sends a shock through Rick’s spine. He stands up, questioning how he got here as he strips naked, then turns around bending at just the perfect angle to press his cheeks up to the hole. Immediately, a warm tongue slides up his crack, making him jump. He’s never done this, but he doesn’t hate it as the tongue works its way to his hole. Rick gets hard again. He tries to stroke himself while the tongue massages his hole.

Rick starts to feel weird, the reality of what’s happening starting to set in. It’s not until he feels a finger probe his hole that he snaps out of it.

“Whoa, okay,” he stands up. He’s already sucked two dicks and had his ass eaten, that’s enough experimentation for the night. He scrambles to get his clothes together and leaves, heart racing as he comes to terms with what he just did.

Rick gets home at almost midnight to find that his wife is still awake, reading a book. He cringes internally, hoping that she would have already been asleep. She gives him a questioning look when he walks into the room.

“Where’ve you been?” she asks.

“Just hanging out with some of the guys from work.” Rick lies, getting into bed next to her. He had showered away his shame already.

“Hmm, well I was thinking,” Lori puts down the book on the nightstand and turns to him. She brings her right arm to his chin and pulls him into a kiss. Rick holds his wife while she kisses him, but he doesn’t return the kiss fully. He kisses her back, but not with enthusiasm as he recalls where his mouth has been.

“You’re finally going to let me fuck you?” he murmurs pointedly as she strips him of his t-shirt and pajama pants. He pulls up her nightgown and finds himself burying his face between her legs. Her moans are enough to get him hard by the time she cums on his tongue. He sits up, positioning himself closer so he can slide inside her. He thrusts hard, enjoying the noises coming from her. He can’t help but feel like something is…off.

“Would you…” He murmurs the request hotly in her ear. Lori’s eyes widen as she processes his request.

“What!? I don’t want to do that, Rick!”

“Please? It’ll help me cum.”

“I don’t want to put my fingers…there. Ugh, just get off me,” Lori grumbles, pushing Rick away. He lays on his back as she gets up and puts her robe on.

“Would it kill you to have an open mind?” Rick sighs.

“You’ve never wanted me to do that before, why now?”

“Cause I just…I wanted to try it.” Rick shrugs.

“Did one of the guys put you up to this?”

“Wha- No! I’ve just been thinking about it.”

Lori huffs in disgust and leaves the room. Rick decides he’ll go back to Love’s the first chance he gets.

+

The opportunity doesn’t arrive until the following weekend. It had been a hard week and the only thing Rick could think about was getting fucked. The idea of actually liking men has sent him into a spiral. He’s been on edge all week. Shane asks if he’s okay and Rick gets defensive. It feels like everyone knows what he’s been doing.

He’s thankful that his wife and kid aren’t home when he gets there. He makes himself a sandwich after reading the note on the fridge that they won’t be home until late. He’s grateful for the alone time because he finally has a chance to use something he bought a week ago after the sexual mishap with Lori. Rick had gone out of his way to a small sex shop, nervous and embarrassed. He brought the toy home and hid it in a black bag in his gun safe. Lori knows the code but she never needs it, so he’s not worried about her discovering it.

Rick pulls the bag out, feeling mixed emotions as he dumps the contents onto his bed. He had bought a six inch dildo and some lube. The toy is pretty realistic, he thinks, as he unboxes it. Letting out a breath, he strips himself and climbs onto his bed. His cock is already hard as he decides how he’s going to do this. After taking the safety seal off the lube, he lays on his stomach, reaching behind him to probe at his hole. He spreads a generous amount of lube on his fingers, teasing one of them at his entrance. He groans into the pillow as it easily slips in, guided by the lube. He holds it there for a minute or so, trying to come to terms with how he’s feeling. It feels weird. Not good or bad necessarily. He’s never experienced anything like this. He decides it’s good enough to keep going, so he does, taking it a step further by sliding the finger in and out. He curses, not expecting it to feel so good. Rick tentatively adds another finger, stretching his hole as he works them in. He’s getting impatient, pulling his fingers out. He takes the dildo, which had been sitting next to him, and lubes it up. He brings it around to his hole, pressing the head against it. Taking a deep breath he pushes in slightly. He knows he has to go slow, but it’s torture, feeling the toy slide in inch by inch until his fingers touch his ass. He slides it out halfway then back in again. The sensation is odd. He can feel it in his stomach like he’s nauseated. He doesn’t hate it though, sliding the toy in and out of himself.

Rick uses his free hand to stroke himself. He tries to do it in tandem with the toy, but it’s too hard. He pushes the toy all the way in and focuses on the feeling of it. He cums suddenly, releasing his load onto the purple comforter. He mentally kicks himself as he gets cleaned up. He strips the bed, throwing the comforter into the wash, unsure of how he’s going to explain to Lori why it needed to be washed. He goes to the bathroom to clean his toy and take a shower. Now he’s even more conflicted. He was always pretty sure he was straight, but these past few weeks have opened his eyes. He’s definitely still attracted to his wife and he finds women attractive, but the idea of a man fucking him is exciting. And he doesn’t mind sucking cock, honestly. What does that make him? Not gay, but not fully straight either. He tries not to think about it too hard as he finishes up his shower. He stashes his toy just as the washer dings. He throws the comforter in the dryer. He thinks about whether he finds men attractive. As a human, he can objectively state if a person is good looking, but attraction? He’s never really thought about it. The first person to pop into his head is Shane. His thick dark hair, deep brown eyes, and toned body are all super attractive. He remembers seeing Shane make out with a girl at a bar and thinking, “Of course she went for Shane.” His charisma is the most attractive of all his features.

Rick sits on the couch and watches TV while waiting for the dryer to finish. Once it’s done, he makes up the bed and gets into it, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. One thing’s for sure, he can’t wait to be fucked by a real man.

+

Rick goes to Love’s the following night. He goes in and immediately heads to the men’s side. He finds an empty booth and locks the door behind him. This time, he’s not timid as he strips and gets on his knees in front of the hole. A cock slides through the hole almost immediately and Rick wraps his mouth around it. The first guy pulls out without finishing and Rick is stroking himself idly, waiting for someone else.

Another one slides through the hole. This one is thick and a decent length. It feels velvety as Rick slides his mouth around it. He hears the guy moan on the other side, encouraging him to continue. Rick reaches for a couple of the packets of lube next to him. While continuing to suck, he rips them open, spreading it on his fingers. He starts to play with his hole, pushing his fingers in. He’s getting increasingly excited at the idea of being fucked, he can’t stand it anymore. The guy pulls away as Rick stops sucking, focusing on prepping himself. Rick grabs one of the condoms and puts it through the hole as an offering. Someone takes it, so Rick stands up and turns around, pressing his ass against the hole.

Rick’s heart is pounding in his ears as he waits anxiously. The guy finally presses the head of his cock into Rick’s hole. This is it, Rick thinks. He slowly slides all the way in, causing Rick to moan. It is awkward with the wall between them. He wishes that he could grab his hips. But he’s doing a decent job, thrusting into Rick slowly until he gets a rhythm. Rick starts to push back against the wall, wanting it harder. The guy gets the hint, knocking loudly into the wall with the force of his thrusts. Rick hears the guy groan, his thrusts slowing as he finishes. He pulls out of Rick slowly and Rick takes that as a sign to finish up. He thinks about how he’d go about getting one on one time with a guy, maybe going to a hotel for privacy where he can be fucked for real. He realizes that he’s swallowed cum and been fucked in the ass, but he’s never kissed a guy. The thought intrigues him, jerking himself faster. He imagines himself in the arms of a man, kissing and touching each other softly. He’s coming up with plans on how to make this a reality when he finally cums.

Rick gets dressed and leaves, knowing that he’s been there long enough. Lori will be wondering where he is. He needs to pace himself and figure out what he actually wants.

+

Two days later, he’s sitting in his cruiser with Shane on a lunch break. They had been chatting about random things; calls they had taken earlier, how Rick’s family is doing, and weekend plans. Shane finishes talking about cleaning out his garage then falls into silence as he drinks his soda. Meanwhile, Rick has been contemplating if he wants to tell his best friend what he’s been doing. He has no one else to tell. Shane raises an eyebrow, watching Rick’s internal struggle.

“S’going on, man?”

“I actually…I’ve been going to Love’s Tavern,” Rick admits.

“Really? What you been doing there?”

“Um, I got a blow job the first time, and the girl, like, turned around and just stuck it in…” Rick admits quietly. Shane is hanging on his every word.

“Dude, how many times have you been there? Does Lori know?”

“No! No, she doesn’t,” Rick replies, the guilt thick in his tone. “I’ve only been like five times.”

“You fuck each time or just get blown?” Shane asks slyly.

“Uh, well-” Rick is about to admit what he’s really been doing the last two times, but Shane interrupts him.

“Cause I was there the other day. That place is crazy. You notice it’s mostly dudes?”

“Yeah, I-”

“Y’know, I kinda like that it’s separated like that. It does take away the anonymity a little. Like part of the point is getting your dick sucked by someone random and it might be a guy, but if you go to the men’s side, you know it’s gonna be a guy,” Shane rambles on. “Honestly, I don’t mind it.”

“Wait, you were on the men’s side? And thought you had a thing about seeing the person blowing you?” Rick asks, turning to look at his friend. Shane shrugs.

“I thought about it and I actually haven’t even had the experience so I thought I might as well. Anyway, I went to the girl’s side, but there was literally no one. I even waited for like fifteen minutes and got bored, so I decided to wander over to the action.”

Rick stares at Shane, realizing what this means.

“This guy walked away and so I was able to just slide in, y’know, and I mean, I’m not gay but a mouth is a mouth. And then!” Rick jumps from Shane’s exclamation, earning a smack on his chest from his friend. “He stopped sucking, so I pulled away, right, and then a second later he’s offering a condom through the hole. And like of course I’m gonna take it, I look down and his ass is just there…”

Shane stops, seeing Rick’s wide eyed expression. He mistakes it for judgment. “I fucked him…”

“What..what day were you there?” Rick asks, terrified of the answer.

“Saturday night, why?”

“About 9 o’clock?”

“Rick, why?”

“First hole on the left?”

Shane doesn’t answer because Rick already knows the answer. They just stare at each other. Rick begins to explain how he started going to Love’s and how it brought up conflicting feelings. He even forced himself to tell Shane about the guys he blew. He pours his heart out and lets out a shaky breath when he finishes, happy to finally have it off his chest. They sit in silence for what feels like five minutes. Rick is nearly in tears over his confession as Shane just looks at him blankly.

“You suck dick really well,” Is all Shane says. Rick groans and sighs. Of course Shane deflects with humor.

“Shane, I’m…I’m really struggling with this,”

“So, you tellin’ me you’re gay?”

“No! I just mean, I figured out I’m attracted to men too. I still like women.”

“So…you’re bi?”

“What does that even mean?”

“God, you’re stupid. It means you like both.”

“I guess. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Bi, or whatever you said,”

“Like I said, a mouth’s a mouth. A hole’s a hole.” Shane replies with a grin.

“I’ve been wanting to actually have sex with a guy,” Rick says. Shane snorts.

“I put my dick in your ass, what do you call that?”

Rick rolls his eyes, “I mean, like in a bed. Like kissing and touching and-”

Shane makes a show of checking his watch. “We have thirty minutes.”

“Wait, you wanna…?”

“You’re my friend. I’m gonna help you figure this out,” Shane puts his hand on Rick’s, giving him a meaningful look. “And I’d love to fuck your ass again.”

Rick rolls his eyes again and looks out the window. Shane realizes he went too far.

“I’m sorry, okay? C’mon, baby,” Shane puts his hand on Rick’s neck. Rick turns his head, giving Shane the opportunity to pull him into a kiss. Rick kisses him back immediately, pushing his body into Shane’s space. He’s unsurprised by how good Shane feels. His lips taste sweet from the cola he’d been drinking and he smells good like something woody and manly. He remembers where they are and pulls away.

“We’re at work, we shouldn’t,” Rick states even though there’s plenty of other reasons why they shouldn’t.

“We’re off the clock for the next…27 minutes,” Shane replies. “We can get in the back and make out at least.”

Rick blushes, not making eye contact with Shane. Shane reaches over and cups the other man’s chin.

“Or you can come to my place after work and I’ll touch you there.” Shane’s tone is low and flirtatious.

“Goddammit, Shane,” Rick groans. He’s happy that they parked on a secluded road as he pops open his door and climbs out so he can get in the backseat. “Get back here.”

Shane smiles before joining his friend in the back.

[kharmii]

*eats popcorn while reading the recent post*

Love how once they have no arguments left go back to insulting and name-calling instead of wanting to talk.

Shows they either don't know how to respond or know they're in the wrong and go back to name calling to save their face.

Honestly I welcome the changes in the US and I hope other countries follow suit. This insanity has to stop. This pandering to a small but obnoxiously vocal minority has to stop.

The US elections this year made Amish people go out and vote. From what I've heard they don't give a fuck about elections usually but they are so pissed off by the left they used their voices and went voting.

Everyone is fed up and tired of this leftist bullshit and being dismissed as everything in the book if you disagree. Everyone is fed up with the indoctrination that is happening everywhere. Everyone is just fed up with being pushed around by crybabies who complain about everything in the world but can't understand that its all their fault if their life sucks.

Yet I can only feel pity for people who are nothing but a product of parroting leftist propaganda all day and night alienating everyone who cared about them. Leaving only others who are parroting the same bs in a giant echo chamber that distorts their worldview and destroys their minds...

Hope one day they wake up and see what they did.

The Amish people want to be left alone to live how they want to live. They got caught under the ever widening umbrella of government regulation and the surveillance state. That's why they came out and voted. It was over the raw milk issue.

There's an increasing demand for milk right out of the cow because store bought milk is full of additives. The government doesn't want the people to have that option, even though our food supply is being poisoned with chemicals that are illegal in most other countries. Another Trump promise is to get flouride out of the drinking water and lab produced oils and sweeteners out of the food supply.

The Amish people voting goes to show how leftist harpies have to infiltrate every society forcing their world views down everybody's throats. They can't leave people alone to live their lives how they want. This is why we fought for independence back in the 1700's. People wanted to govern their own way and not have some distant government across the sea ruling them. This popular image expresses that sentiment:

We won a local victory. The colleges churn out brainwashed teachers who will move into conservative towns with the intent to push their Fail Ideology. In our high school for a while, we had this nasty feminist bitch principal surrounded by a cabal of nasty feminist bitch teachers. They forced the kids to read that Ibram X Kendi book Stamped, which was an anti-white racism guilt trip. That (whacko Twitter personality) guy was later found out to be a C-student borderline retard con artist only accepted to a mediocre college because of DEI.

Those women would target boys for disciplinary action while girls got away with murder. One boy got kicked out of sports for a year because of a social media post on a locked account. He made light of the George Floyd incident by posting a photo of himself with his foot on another guy's head. There are countless examples of that, -parents complained like crazy- and eventually the school refused to renew her contract forcing her out.

-So this election, she ran for the school board. Another person ran for the position on a platform of running against her and her left-wing antics. She lost after a bitter fight where her clique of feminists would go around town taking down the opposition's political signs. Damn right teenage boys should be able to make jokes on social media without having their lives ruined! Cancel culture won't age well. People like George Floyd are trash who died like trash. We don't owe them anything.

[tetsunabouquet]

KNB Headcanon: Mental Health

A/N: We know about Akashi's weirdly written split personality already and whilst I'm not the person who's fond of diagnosing characters there are a few I definitely want to talk about.

-Aomine Daiki: Many have stated they think this man is depressed already, and I do agree with the general consensus. The consistent habits of sleeping on the rooftop, the way how even his friendship with Momoi became more strained, makes it clear he's mentally in a dark place and pretty exhausted with his own talent.

-Speaking of the To-Oh team, Sakurai. I already mentioned in my headcanon about Hyuga, that I feel like Sakurai's apologetic nature shouldn't have been treated like a joke or something to mock as I think he hides some deeper issues. His low self-esteem and self-blaming nature filled with loathing for himself makes me think he's either been bullied since childhood or he has an abusive relative. Children who grow up in an highly critical/verbally abusive households typically develop patterns like apologizing for every god damn thing as their parents will treat their child as an emotional punching bag and they are held responsible for things outside of their control all the time. I swear, To-Oh is the most emotionally broken team after Teiko Middle School.

-Mitobe. His refusal to talk whilst he has the ability does make my own autism radar tingle. I've never met a person outside of the autistic community who hates being verbal. I do think he has some high functioning autistic qualities, but his great emotional support system of his family and friends definitely seemed to have provided him with some preventive treatment to the point he just can flow along in his social life. I also think he's somewhat parentified with the care he provides for his younger siblings.

-Speaking of his friend group, Koganei. The way he lacked focus on how to spend his energy prior to Seirin and how he's stated to hate sitting still just gives me the vibes that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but he's one of the lucky ones that has been outgrowing his ADHD. Which is why he might be able to read Mitobe so well. There are plenty of people who have ADHD and autism and if Koganei did attended some ADHD program as a child he might have made some childhood friends on the spectrum. Perhaps that might be how they became friends considering they go way back.

-This ADHD conversation obviously brings me to the one and only Kotaro Hayama. This boy is like the posterchild of ADHD and he's definitely one of those people who isn't outgrowing their ADHD diagnosis. This boy lives his life energetically and unapologetically, and he will be that way as an adult too.

-Kiyoshi: See my tragic teddybear headcanon. This boy is parentified too because of how much care he gives back to his grandparents. Kiyoshi isn't the one taken care of in his household, it's a give and take with how old they are.

Honorable mention:

-It's difficult to place Murasakibara. I've seen some people make autism claims, but Murasakibara shows plenty of behavior that's very much anti-autistic in a sense? Like his tsundere-like nature doesn't really fits with being honest to a fault like most autistic people are, etc. However, I do feel like he shows some signs of being emotionally stunted and to be at the level of a small child. What kind of mental health issue might be paired with it and if he'll outgrow most of his childlike mindset, are things I am not sure on.

[maximum-potential]

Miraculous rant/analysis:

Gamer (Talking about the fandoms issues colorism, need to find salt in every character, and with a bit of how hawkmoth works well as a concept)

Let’s start small with the general synopsis

Marinette beats Adrien's video game tournament partner, Max, so she can replace him and spend time with her crush, but Max akumatizes into a villain.

Here introduces a contest to which max has been looking forward too since it was announced, it’s clear he’s passionate for the game.

“Max is sexist because he was only mad at Marinette >:((((“

..are we forgetting Marinette never signed up? She wasn’t aware of the competition, she should not have been allowed to join at the last minute much less move on all without having ever signed up- SHE DIDN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE CONTEST ITSELF- she makes that clear with Alya until Adrienadrienadrien makes an appearance

Are we forgetting that max was unfairly booted of his spot when Damocles damn well should have stepped in and told Marinette that since she never signed up she couldn’t just- shove herself last minute in a competition WHILE HE WAS ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS- they were already decided, max was already decided to move on until this girl (who he’s shared a class with before) shoves herself in and kicks him out of his spot for a guy she’s only known for like- a month knowing full well how much this meant to him.

Are we forgetting max never lashed out at her until he was under a SUPERVILLAINS CONTROL- he just congratulated her and left to collect his emotions like a normal rational human being-

Max is shown time and time again to be respectful, polite and one of the most stable and mature- no he’s the most mature figure in the main cast, Lukas a close second, Each time he’s gotten akumatized he’s never lashed out until he was alone. He adores and respects his mom, he praises her at any chance and she adores him back, he has nothing against woman at all??

Gamer is a perfect example of an issue that on the surface seems like a small issue but in the mind of a child it feels a lot bigger.

The reason gamer works is because max is a middle school boy, he didn’t lash out and be rude to Mari for beating him- he accepted defeat but was still torn about it, he still couldn’t shake the bad feeling that came with losing as easily as an adult could.

Hawkmoth used and amplified this emotion, that’s what makes the concept of him seem so scary if you think about it. You genuinely can’t feel bad unless you want to be used and turned into a pawn in some supervillains game

Stick this in a cast full of middle to high schoolers and this is just a perfect feeding ground for akumas.

“Max cheated in gamer”

..Since when?? No seriously since when.

This is something the fandom entirely made up, based on one scene.

..one scene that can easily be accounted as a visual representation of how max was really good at video games- if he was cheating then they would have over explained the hell out of that like how they treat Lila, this is a show for 7 year olds.

Let’s not mention how it’s just- impossible- like I’m sorry programming cheat codes into your glasses would not only be impossible but- unusable?? Like I wear glasses if combos were blasting into my eyes that would harm my chances if anything. It would just be one big distraction.

It’s a visual aid to show max is good at games. The shows full of that stuff- it’s not a superpower or anything that’s just for the hero’s, Marinette uses it outside of the costume. This scene is meant to show max is good at games and has memorized combos

Now I’m out here figuring out why max is so demonized for stuff thats obviously not his fault if you just- watch the show. Oh wait of course- this fandom has a colorism problem.

The fandom has a problem with singling out the darker skin characters like Alya and Max while glorifying the (sometimes racist) characters such as Chloé and Marinette and SHOWERING them in salt. Even when it’s completely unearned, moving from critic to straight up bashing.

“I admit I was sexi-“ do you even know what sexism is? If adrien pulled the same shit gamer would gun for him as well, that’s gender equality if i say anything. Just because Marinettes a female doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to be mad at her.

All and all Max did nothing wrong in this episode other then getting akumatized,,which if that’s considered a crime then the entire cast is a worthless lump of jerks. Even rose, even julekas even luka, and especially chloé.

[mistandshcdow]

‘Men Have Called Her Crazy’ by Anna Marie Tendler — a Review

CW: this book discusses suicide, SH, EDs, mental health institutions and other triggering topics in detail, and they are touched on in this review.

Going into this memoir, I was expecting an intimate look at Tendler’s mental health crisis, her complicated relationship with various men in her life, and some insight as to how she dealt with being betrayed by her famous husband. You’ll get one of those things from this, and it’s not the one you want.

By intimate, imagine you’re sitting in on Anna’s three hour psych examination where she is narrating every detail and breaking down what it means in real time. That happens in the book. She also describes every inpatient class she goes to, every random man in the hospital who dares to glance at her, and every relationship she’s ever had going back to high school. Oh yeah, except her husband of six years, who makes not a single appearance outside of nameless references to “my husband.” He is never named, nor is their relationship even touched on.

She touches on other relationships though, and although they’re undoubtedly shitty, none of them call her crazy. Her mental health condition is addressed by only one boyfriend, the singular one she notes as being caring and dedicated. It comes to a point where she has to literally imagine a man calling her crazy, a man she has met all of once over ZOOM THERAPY and immediately hates for little reason. In fact, the only people in Tendler’s life who do insinuate she might be crazy are WOMEN, a fact she seems unable to unpack or dwell on, and why should she when she can say “Fuck men” and sell her book as a gripping feminist narrative. That’s not what feminism is, Anna.

The one man who deserves the biggest “Fuck you” is not present. Tendler has the right to write about whatever she wants and that includes leaving out Mulaney, but if you’re going to push the book as a tell-all memoir that is almost entirely centered around men shortly after your very public divorce, leaving him out totally feels unnatural and disingenuous. If it’s legal issues that keep her from mentioning him, then maybe she shouldn’t write the damn memoir.

Tendler is frankly unbearable to be inside the head of. She’s privileged (although she repeatedly stresses her financial hardship), judgmental, pretentious and somehow painfully uninteresting all at once. The real problem with this book is that it is boring, and the reason she feels the need to go into excessive detail about everything from her tiny wrists to a step by step guide on how to inject IVF hormones is because there is not enough content to fill a whole book without discussing Mulaney, which she can’t/won’t do. In the final third, readers are spoiled with pages upon pages of her talking about her designer dog, which I’m sorry, is not particularly compelling in a book that’s marketed as an exposé.

If your conclusion near the end of the book is “men are the cause of all my problems” then I don’t think you can really call the book memoir considering we can tell no self reflection was done—ma’am, you are severely mentally ill. That isn’t your fault, but it’s not your male barista’s fault either; it just sucks. By the end of the book, Tendler has learned nothing, digested nothing, and reflects on nothing, which is evident from the way she writes about herself. She is clearly still not in a good place and that is totally fine, but it doesn’t make for an honest memoir. The book ends by her going through her psych report in again, painful detail, complete with her calling every comment she disagrees with misogynistic for failing to accurately describe her experience. I think Tendler thinks that anything she doesn’t like or 100% resonate with is misogyny, which is uh, an interesting take from a rich white woman.

Women are allowed to be mediocre. Women should be allowed to be annoying and pretentious and self indulgent. Tendler is allowed to be these things. Doesn’t make this book any better.

If you loved this book, you’re probably a cis white woman. I can’t prove this, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

2 stars.

[ladykailolu]

Remember the Marigold getting murdered Scenerio

Imagine it’s the 3rd day of trial, Phoenix is defending Godot

(bonus is it’s with the help of Maya who managed to spirit channel a particularly determined and bitter Mia)

and Phoenix has finally found out who the real killer is

A older (16) boy who went to the neighboring high school, who Marigold caught dealing drugs before stabbing her

And as Phoenix presses him to get him to confess on the stand the boy finally snaps and says

“It’s that bitch’s own fault she’s dead!”

“All she had to do was shut her mouth!”

“I told her I would let her go with no issues if she kept her mouth shut!”

“But that stupid girl just had to keep going on about how “I had to pay for what I did””

“Going on about “upholding justice” like her stupid whore of a mother did, and like her idiot uncle or something would do, and like her fool of father would want her to do”

“If anything, her father should go to jail for raising her to be a god damn idiot!”

“My parents raised me for success, and I wasn’t about to let some dumb bitch fuck it all up”

How would old Godot, sitting in the defendant’s chair, and Uncle Phoenix at the defense table react to that

(And Ghost Mia for the bonus)

The knowledge that she died trying to make them proud of her

[I’ve been watching a lot of homicide documentaries and things in courtroom outbursts]

Poor Marigold Fey was in the wrong place, wrong time. This reminds me of the Aiden Fucci case--a 14 year old boy who killed 13-year old Tristyn Bailey via 114 stabs.

Mari probably caught the guy meeting up with someone else near a forested area and tried to run away to notify the police, but he caught her by the wrist and dragged her into the woods. Then stabbed her until she stopped talking or make any kind of sounds for good. Mari had died at the scene long before anyone found her body.

Imagine if on day 1 of the trial, it began as a missing person's case. Marigold wasn't found out to be dead yet, but she was missing and hasn't come home in quite some time. She missed classes which was entirely unlike her, and Godot, whom she lives with, hasn't seen her come home. Throughout the trial, Godot is upset, mind racing, trying to think of where she could be and what happened to her. It's tough simply not having answers of what happened to your own child. At this time, the most likely suspect was Godot. He was the closest one to Mari, and Mari wasn't known to have enemies. He must have done something to her, right?

They don't have a body or any signs that there was violence or bloodshed during the investigation, so they don't accuse Godot of murder. Yet.

Then they find Mari's body, cold and lifeless, stuck with several knife wounds all over. It's a bloody, tragic mess. And when Godot hears of the news not just of his daughter's violet death but that the blame was being focused on him, his heart breaks. There's simply no coming back from this. He could never heal from someone so dear being ripped from his heart again.

At first, it's his bitterness and anger that keeps him fighting, but by day three when the truth is revealed, Godot is simply burned out. He has no more energy to fight. Only despair. He lost everything all over again, and when he's found not guilty and allowed to walk as a free man again, he'll never feel free. He'll never feel okay again. The whole point of living, to work his coffee shop, to stay among the living was to support his daughter. It was pointless now.

I imagine that after this trial is over with, after that kid was put away for life, after the funeral for Marigold finally ended, and she was laid to rest, something changed in Godot. He looked older, frailer. Quieter and lived like a shut-in. Feenie tries to check-in with him, but Godot hardly responds. He essentially fades out, and the memory of him stays a memory for Pheonix, Maya, and everyone else who knew him.

Every father's day and every one of Marigold's birthdays and major holidays, Godot visits Marigold's grave to lay flowers at her tombstone and spend some time with her. And he prays. He takes comfort in knowing that Mari is up there with her mother, and someday, he'll be with them too. He hasn't touched her room since her death was announced. Her bed was still unmade, her clothes strewn over her desk chair for days since Godot told her to put it all in a laundry basket. He would never touch any of it as if he was trapped in a delusion that she would come back home someday.

Do you think that if Maya or Pearl channeled Mia and let her speak to Godot that Mia would say that Marigold is doing ok now? Would Mia even know? Or maybe they would channel Marigold and let her talk and describe where she is. Or maybe the ghosts simply don't know where they are and their memories are limited to the physical world.

Either way, it'd be sweet if Godot could talk to Mari from time to time. It might be another reason to live--if he could only hear her daughter's voice. Even now, Godot spends a lot of time sipping coffee and thumbing through Marigold's scrapbook, looking over her baby pictures, her kid pictures, her quinceañera pictures, etc, etc. She was a princess through and through. His princess.

And sometimes...Uncle Feenie and Aunt Maya join Godot in visiting Marigold's grave. She was buried next to her mother, Mia. And they reminisce about Marigold, all the cute stories of her childhood, that time she spilled the coffee beans all over the kitchen floor, the way she looked just like a princess during her quinceañera, her first dance with her father, all those pictures she drew in crayons of everyone close to her, how bright she was.

Her mother would be proud of her. Her father most certainly is.

[alpydk]

Hello my angst loving friend! 🫂

What is your favourite book - or if it's a struggle to choose one, what are your top 5?

Thank you for the ask. <3

Top 5 books... there are so many good ones, so I'll give in no particular order. - Expect waffling and the blurbs for each and a favourite line from each.

Battle Royale - Koushun Takami

"A class of junior high school students is taken to a deserted island where, as part of a ruthless authoritarian program, they are provided arms and forced to kill one another until only one survivor is left standing."

It's vicious, it's graphic. I've read this book so many times from cover to cover and it's just a good every damn time. I recommend everyone read this, the movie is so close to it which I love but the characters become so much more impactful.

“You all have your own distinct personal backgrounds. Of course some of you come from rich families, some from poor families. But circumstances beyond your control like that shouldn’t determine who you are. You must all realize what you’re worth on your own.”

John Dies at the End - David Wong

"My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. It is crucial you keep one thing in mind: none of this is my fault."

I read this when it was a pdf/text doc online during my job in a call centre. The book is a wild ride of drugs, sanity questioning, and shit that you'll remember suddenly when you least expect it.

“Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.”

I have no mouth and I must scream - Harlan Ellison

"The story is set against the backdrop of World War III, where a sentient supercomputer named AM, born from the merging of the world's major defense computers, eradicates humanity except for five individuals. These survivors��Benny, Gorrister, Nimdok, Ted, and Ellen—are kept alive by AM to endure endless torture as a form of revenge against their creators. The story unfolds through the eyes of Ted, the narrator, detailing their perpetual misery and quest for canned food in AM's vast, underground complex, only to face further despair."

I can't even remember where I came across this. Probably @s--mine and the video game? Either way you want angst, this is it through and through. There is no happy ending, there is no saviour mary sue. There is only pain and gods will I go through it again and again. Truly a masterpiece.

“The explanations a writer gives himself for having written any particular book are more often not the real reasons why that book has been written. Honesty is not the issue. Understanding is. A man does not write one novel at a time or even one quatrain at a time. He is engaged in the long process of putting his whole life on paper. He is on a journey and he is reporting in: ‘This is where I think I am and this is what this place looks like today.’” The”

Blindness - Jose Saramago

"A city is hit by an epidemic of "white blindness" that spares no one. Authorities confine the blind to an empty mental hospital, but there the criminal element holds everyone captive, stealing food rations, and assaulting women. There is one eyewitness to this nightmare who guides her charges—among them a boy with no mother, a girl with dark glasses, a dog of tears—through the barren streets, and their procession becomes as uncanny as the surroundings are harrowing."

I initially saw the movie of this with Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore and fell in love with it. No characters have names, they only have the actions they play in the story. The layout of the book is written in such a unique way that almost makes it difficult to read, but it's a work of art through and through. Again an awful lot of angst. I know what I like and it's all psychological. If you're not up for reading it, I 100% recommend the movie because Julianne Moore blows it out of the fucking water with her character.

“…the habit of falling hardens the body, reaching the ground, to in itself, is a relief.”

1984 - George Orwell

"Hidden away in the Record Department of the sprawling Ministry of Truth, Winston Smith skilfully rewrites the past to suit the needs of the Party. Yet he inwardly rebels against the totalitarian world he lives in, which demands absolute obedience and controls him through the all-seeing telescreens and the watchful eye of Big Brother, symbolic head of the Party. In his longing for truth and liberty, Smith begins a secret love affair with a fellow-worker Julia, but soon discovers the true price of freedom is betrayal."

A classic that I recommend to everyone. It needs to be read, question your surroundings, question what the government force feeds you day in day out. Do no accept anything but what you feel for that is the only thing that is ever really true. I devoured this book in less than a day, it's online as a pdf so go find it. There are no excuses for having not read this,

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.”

---------------------------------------

My partner says I put to much into this but what do they know. I enjoy talking about books and movies and games. (I like talking.)

Shout outs to other books not on the list:

The Combat K series When Hitler stole pink rabbit Lullaby Children of men We need to talk about Kevin The Witcher Series Do androids dream of electric sheep? The fifth mountain And so many many more I have on my shelves.

[altschmerzes]

gang you would not believe the week i am having. extended explanation of my current nightmare under the cut. please understand this is also mid ramp-up to finals season at my second year of law school and still trying to find a summer student position which means one million cover letters and applications.

when i moved to canada i tried to import my car. i did this twice, once by calling a company before i left that does this professionally, and they were like oh don't worry about it. you're fine, you don't need to do anything. i get to the border and the man at the border tells me the same thing. don't worry about it. you're fine you don't need to do anything. i go to the dmv here to try and title my damn car because my registration is expiring and i need to do that. the woman who works there is like oh you needed to import it :) but also get your driver's license first, trust me. okay. i go through the hell process of getting my ontario license. i now have my ontario license. i need to get a safety inspection and two forms from border control. sure. i don't have the first fucking idea how to do this but i'm sure i can figure it out.

fastforward. i got in an extremely minor accident on wednesday. entirely my fault, i was slightly distracted for a moment in stop and go traffic and a like. spider in my sleeve or something bit my arm and i hit the wrong pedal. got a ticket, spent 90 minutes dealing with the cops including the part where one of the cops spent several minutes lecturing me about how he can and should seize my car on the spot because it's registered out of country and i live here and that's tax evasion. i explain that i have been trying to get this dealt with but everybody kept telling me i didn't need to do that or worry about it. he tells me that's not his problem. sure. not his problem. understood. this has now become a problem that Cannot Wait though.

so what do i need to do to get my car registered here? still need those pieces of paper. i can get the safety inspection done at any old canadian tire, which, sure. that's fine. word. so what about the border forms? well. i call the canadian border services agency. i sit on hold for a while, and eventually the man on the phone not only can't seem to fucking comprehend anything i'm saying at first, he then also tells me that the solution to my problem is to drive to the fucking us/canada border, go back to the states, then drive back immediately and get the form then. oh my gd.

so i did that. i make the two hour drive to niagara fucking falls and i tell the us border agent what i'm doing there and he's like you can't do that. you need to export it from the us first or you'll get a five thousand dollar fine. and i'm like. okay. thank you sir. have a nice night. thank gd they give me no issue returning on the canadian side. so i make the drive home. having achieved nothing. nobody has given me any actionable information and the only thing more confusing and complicated than importing a car for personal use in canada is exporting one from the united states. literally on the government website it says 'every export office operates differently' which made me almost collapse into tears when i read it.

last night i decided okay, tomorrow i am calling a professional import/export service to throw myself on their mercy and beg them to help me. i might need to leave the country for a few days to get this dealt with bc it's possible i can't export it except for from us soil. all i am trying to do is follow the rules and every single person at every juncture of this nightmare has given me different, conflicting information.

just had that phone call. the good news: i am not going to need to go to the states for several days to deal with this. some nice lady from a company who does this professionally is gonna do the paperwork for me and has found me apparently the only us/canada border crossing that will let me do the us export shit from this side of the border. the bad news: it is an even farther crossing than the one i drove to yesterday, and i’m gonna have to wait a couple days to do it and then do it immediately, which means missing more class than i already missed yesterday trying to do this. hopefully then it will be sorted.

[stellarwaffles]

I am watching The Lego Ninjago Movie!!

- that’s not a lego :/

- oh the kid has a lego

- Lloyd!

- he’s missing an arm :(

- ok now they’re legos

- “who could the ninja be?” Bestie you can see Nya’s hair. Her mask is only covering her mouth. You can see the majority of her head

- ok now she’s got a proper mask

- Lloyd’s birthday! When is it? What’s the date? They didn’t say

- “I’m your son, Lloyd Garmadon.” “No, my son is bald and has no teeth”

- “How old are you, 7? You’re 7, right?” To be fair to Garmadon I still kinda think my brother is 6 (he’s not 6). To be not fair to Garmadon I think this is supposed to tell us he’s an absent father

- he is 16! First canon age ever

- aww Lloyd just wants someone to tell him happy birthday :(

- “hey mom.. just a thought.. what if I didn’t go to school today?” Me to my mom every day in every grade

- Lloyd’s mom is called Koko in the movieverse, right? I love her she’s amazing

- :(

- why does everyone hate Lloyd? What did he do? :(

- Zane!

- Kai!

- NYA!!

- and Cole + Jay!

- “hey, bro!” “Hey sis :)” “oh, hey actual bro”

- ooh Nya’s good at painting

- “it’s Garmadon!” “Thanks, Lloyd.” How is that Lloyd’s fault. What control does he have over his father’s actions

- miss teacher are you really bothered about grammar right now

- ZANE DOESNT EVEN WALK HES JUST GLIDING

- how does Nya fit her motercycle into her locker

- gee I wonder if Zane’s a robot- nevermind, he’s clearly just an average human teen

- “as long as we have these mechs, we’re unstoppable!” I feel like they’re gonna lose their mechs

- ..is Zane out as a robot?

- I thought the plural of ninja was ninja? Isn’t that what the skeletons said in the pilots? Bc in the movie everyone’s saying ninjas

- Lloyd deserves all the positive attention ever

- there are many benefits to being a marine biologist the water ninja

- I thought their identities were supposed to be secret? Lloyd just said all of their names

- ok about their voices

Kai still sounds like Kai, but Cole sounds odd. He doesn’t really sound like Cole.

Jay also sounds a little odd, but maybe I’m just not used to his voice yet.

Zane sounds like they wanted you to know from his very first line that he’s a robot

Nya + Lloyd sound fine I guess idk

- they took Jay’s anxiety and made it his main character trait (so far) /neutral

- why are there still students in the bus on the road? Before the attack started everyone was in class

- the green dragon mech looks cool

- “well if you can see me then why don’t you shoot me?” *gets shot*

- oh no

- he’s not talking about you Lloyd

- I knew it :(

- he’s still not talking about you Lloyd he’s talking about.. your mom?

- oh no not Lloyd’s mom either

- damn :(

- oh now he is talking about Lloyd

- damn :(

- to be fair I’d be pissed at Garmadon too

- skshsjs

- SKSHSJSHSJS HE THREW BACKWARDS,,

- I can’t believe Kai or Cole or Nya or just any of the others never taught him how to throw/catch

That seems like something they would do

- “funny you ask uh NO ONE. >:(“

- he’s being made fun of by his dad on his birthday

- Lloyd does not know how to:

Throw

Catch

Ride a bike

Shave

Difuse a bomb

- seriously I feel like Kai (or any of them) would see dadless Lloyd and decide to do father/son stuff with him like playing catch + teaching him how to shave + whatever

Also if Lloyd doesn’t know how to shave but there’s no hair on his face does that mean he hasn’t started growing facial hair yet or is he just really bad at shaving

- “y’know what’s funny? I know how to do all those things” yeah you’re also the person who’s supposed to teach him

- “when I die. If I die. I will never die.”

- “you got a lot of issues Green Ninja, I hope you get a chance to work ‘em out by the time I’m back” Garmadon says go to therapy

- wow General #1 was promoted for like 30 seconds before being fired, rip

- “intimidation. We paint angry eyebrows on the troops’ faces.”

- “what if you just ran for mayor?”

- “for me it’s easy to fight him cause he’s. not my father.” Thanks Jay, that’s helpful

- “there’s nothing ‘ninja’ about you ninja” that is true

- “greeeen.”

- “so.. water, fire, lightning, earth, ice and..” “greeeen” “..but that’s not an element?”

- “can I be wind? Wind isn’t taken” it is actually, by your dead cousin

- “practice spinjitzu” *everyone starts slowly spinning*

- the ultimate weapon.. a laser pointer

- “I’m super, super… old.”

- someone give Lloyd a hug

- OH WAIT HEY THATS ED + EDNA IN THE BACKGROUND!! :D

- S7 LLOYD!! ALSO IN THE BACKGROUND on a billboard

- he has a hoodie

- she’s an amazing mother I love Koko with all my heart

- “yeah I was there” “what?” “W atching. with all the other regular kids.”

- he has a goldfish

- man she made him a cake and everything and he’s just going to bed :/

I mean I get it, I’d just wanna go to bed to, but man :/

- “we got a message from your brother” “oh yeah? What did he say?” “*dumb childish insults*” “that sounds like my brother.”

- for secret ninja they sure do use their real names

- “it’s time for you to ninja-go-away-for-good”

- why does his mech have so many missiles

- oh no not his dragon :(

- so why does being on top of a tower make one ruler of Ninjago? They showed the mayor being on top of the tower earlier. Why does it work that way?

- how did Wu not see Lloyd take the laser pointer?

- “are you crossing your fingers?” “That’s physically impossible I don’t have fingers”

- yeah I saw that coming

- :O!! Cat!!

- oh no

- oh this is sad actually

- identity reveal!

- LUHLOYD

- wait do laser pointers break that easily?

- Lloyd “daddy issues” Garmadon

- oh she’s fired. That’s what you get for slurping your drink annoyingly

- yeah! You tell him Koko!

- oh this scene hurts more with context. Don’t be mean to Lloyd :(

- “if I was gonna die, it would be to teach you a lesson”

- they’re running around without their masks on they’re not very good at being secret

- they’re mad at Lloyd but realistically any of them could’ve done the same thing while staying 100% in character

- SKSHSJSHS

- they’re doing a pretty good job at making Wu + Garmadon seem like brothers in my opinion

- “gasp.”

- well. It is called the bridge of fallen mentors.

- “one.. two.. three..

“Huh. I thought that was supposed to work with kids.”

- ok so 16 years ago Garmadon was 158 which means he’s 174. Second canon age!

- Master Wu is 167! Third canon age!

That means Garmadon is 7 years older (that’s how old he thought Lloyd was..)

- “Lloyd’s never asked me about my arms, have you Lloyd?” “Don’t talk to me”

- man Lloyd can’t catch a break can he. First he’s made fun of by his dad, now he’s made fun of by his dad and his friends

- noooooo listen to Master Wu + go on the right path

It’s literally called the right path

- gee who would’ve thought this was a bad idea

- “you gotta get yourself a volcano, kid.” Life advice

- “I got you, dude! I got you!” “I really could’a walked out by myself, but thank you.” Lava real??

- “oh no.. I can’t believe we ran off and just left him back there” well it’s not like he hasn’t been abandoned before

- ok so Zane is out as a robot

- “guys, no swimming. We just ate!”

- I know I said it at least twice but why did none of the others take it upon themselves to teach Lloyd how to throw/catch? I really feel like Kai would’ve done that within a week of becoming friends with Lloyd

- OH NO HE HIT A CAT

- “throw like no one is watching except your judging father”

- SJSHSKSHSJS HE HIT COLE IN THE FACE

- Garmadon taught Lloyd to throw and Lloyd taught Garmadon what a smile is :)

- oh ok they just got rid of his arm no build up ok

- where did his arm go?

- “what does it look like?” “It looks like my left arm except it’s the right one”

- his arm was right in front of him. None of them saw it?

- reattaching your son’s arm 101

- “you.. you called me dad.” No, he said you put his arm back on like a dad

- well Lloyd is 16 now that is the age one starts driving in America even if he does already know how to drive

- :O

- why. is there fresh fruit out

- oh it’s plastic

- Lady Iron Dragon doesn’t look like a ninja? She looks like a warrior where did Lloyd get ninja from and how was he right

- awwww I love a good love at first fight

- skshsjshs LLOYDS LITTLE BABY EVIL LAUGH,,,,,,

- Garmadon looks weird with hair

- Koko my beloved

- “this is the ultimate ultimate disappointment.”

- *really cool shots of the ninja with their elements* “and I’m.. green. :(”

- oh no. I can feel a betrayal coming.

- oh nooooo

- :(

- just be his dad

- oh so he knows he forgot Lloyd’s birthday

- oh no he wasn’t taught to catch yet :(

- LIGHTNING

- EARTH

- WATER! ICE

- FIRE

- no green? :(

- “I thought being dead would make you listen to me more”

- “he also decoded your needlessly cryptic metaphors :D”

- :O

- I love to see them use their elements :)

- yeah!!

- oh the cat just ate him

- Kai just offered to burn a giant cat alive

- ..so Lloyd’s identity isn’t secret anymore

- cat :)

- actually I think the cat is just a giant cat. I know this is an emotional moment* but I think from the cat’s pov it’s just a cat I don’t think it’s listening to the little lego guys calling it a monster

* and also he’s talking to Garmadon and not the cat

- are people gonna stop being needlessly mean to him now?

- he did mean it when he said he wished Garmadon wasn’t his dad. He might not mean it anymore but he meant it when he said it

- “ok you still don’t have fingers and toes! Good!” how do any of them know what fingers or toes are if none of them have fingers or toes

- yes! Appreciate your mother!

- there has been no use of green powers :/

- KOKO AND NYA OPENED A SCHOOL?! I love them

- Lloyd learned how to catch!

- oh we’re back to the real people :/

- FOUND MY PLACE!!

- ok back to their voices real quick Jay’s voice was fine actually I got used to it, but I didn’t? Really like Lloyd’s voice? Idk I feel like it didn’t really fit

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Damn Right the Perfect Queen Uses a Cane

Fairbanks is somehow simultaneously too small and too large a town. Apparently one of my very best friend's partner has been friend with Elva Birch since they were both teenagers, so that's a degree of Kevin Bacon I was super not expecting but shouldn't have been surprised by, because I KNOW how small a town Fairbanks is. None of which is strictly relevant to why we're talking about the second book in the Dragon Prince of Alaska series, but it is a fun little Fairbanks Fact. Which is even wilder because this book starts in Florida. So let's talk The Dragon Prince's Librarian.

This is, as is typical on this blog for sequels and mid-series books, a SPOILERIFIC REVIEW. Be warned.

Ok guys, I swear we aren't going to do all six books of this series here, and I know I am way overdue for the next Dresden Files book, but where I take just...every single possible issue with how the Dresden Files handles disability, this book handles it SO FREAKING WELL. Tania is realistically tired, realistically has good and bad days, realistically uses mobility aids, and realistically has that all-too-familiar feeling of "No, no, you don't even get to DREAM of being rescued from this situation because a) it will be too painful when it doesn't happen and b) you getting rescued doesn't fix the hideous inequities of the US healthcare system and frankly, that shit NEEDS fixing."

Additionally, I appreciate that Tania doesn't hate her cane. She recognizes that it lets her move and stand independently and it can up her quality of life, if only in small ways. What she hates is that the cane is UGLY. And that is entirely fair, because there is nothing worse than a boring, utilitarian mobility aid that stands out from you and your aesthetic rather than integrating with you. And Rian, absolute PRINCE that he is (pun fully intended), doesn't try to fix or cure Tania, he gets her a beautiful cane that integrates with her personality and aesthetic. That level of support literally made me cry. And then I cried MORE because while Rian couldn't fix the American healthcare system, what he COULD do was donate a ton of equally beautiful canes in Tania's name in such a way that the people who need them most can access them, the process for getting them is as simple and barrier-free as possible, and Rian took care of ALL of this so Tania did not have to expend spoons on it. The care and attention included in how thoughtful and well-executed this was was absolutely breathtaking. Literally, our reality is not this good, and I love that this book took such care and respect with how disability/chronic illness and mobility aids are handled. At no point did any of it feel patronizing, infantilizing, catastrophizing, or an attempt to "fix" something that was "broken" or "lesser." Just A+ no notes, and I don't say that often about representations of disability in books.

The other thing that I just felt in my bones about this book is how the end of Tania's academic career played out. She literally got gatekept and gaslighted because the Small Kingdoms erased every single trace of her master's thesis, her primary sources, and even her ADVISOR (who was paid to disappear, not killed). This very handily gets Tania kicked out of school, and as her health worsens, she also loses her job and health insurance, so by the time Rian shows up at her front door in Florida, Tania's life has literally fallen apart and it is 90% Rian's fault. Which makes the whole fated mates thing SUPER awkward, because she's rightfully pissed with him for torpedoing her degree and academic career, and also he then gaslit the hell out of her about that until he realized they were fated mates, came clean, apologized, and...proposed. It was awkward as hell, you guys.

And let me say, as someone who went to grad school, had someone gone from admitting they torpedoed my life and gaslit me about it to proposing marriage, they would have been super mega deadsies. Like, no questions asked, they just would have been annihilated by the sheer force of my rage.

But fated mates and romance novel, so Tania just mostly spends the whole book going "remember how you torpedoed my thesis?" in varying tones. Rian is literally never living that down, and he shouldn't, because frankly he was lucky to SURVIVE admitting that.

Overall though, I was so happy with the representation of disability and a healthy, positive relationship that includes a disabled person, as well as Tania and Rian as characters, I was willing to overlook insufficient consequences for fucking with a grad student's thesis. Because this book was a delight to read, and it is UNQUESTIONABLY my favorite book in the series.

[waterforlorn]

day three. october 9th. 9:02am (it's crossed out a bunch of times)

we've been making slow progress with driving. i think nico doesn't like it, but he's too stubborn to tell me and thinks he's got to like .. do it for me cause he's the one taking me out on this ...trip or whatever. i don't mind slow progress, i always enjoyed long drives, i always felt free on the road - always moving with no end in sight. yeah, it's a pretty good feeling actually. i almost forgot how much i enjoyed it.

i'll ask him later if he wants me to drive for a while, but he said he has some place in mind for today, so i'm .. letting him. as for emotions and thoughts. doing pretty well. a little restless, i guess, but what else is new. it's been a bit rough, but i'm holding on. i think nico's helping even though he isn't doing anything specific. but with him i feel .. calmer. it almost feels like i can control the urge.

not forever, though. i can feel it scratching inside me, begging to be released. i'm not giving up, though. not for now, not for a while i hope. i know my resolve is gonna falter at some point, but i hope that by then we'll be away from people so i can't hurt anybody. actually.. right now would be okay. it's just us on this long-ass fucking road for miles. although... i dunno if letting go's gonna fix the issue, never really did that, did it?

i remember that little fuckwad carter in school thinking that his height gave him the right to push other kids around. other kids being me. the little boy who always sat alone and not ONCE got to unpack lunch in school cause my mom never fucking MADE any for me. she didn't even think about it, or what it meant for me in school. cause kids notice these things. a kid coming to school with bruises, no lunch and second-hand clothes? pfffht. fuck her. took me a few weeks to get vengeance on him, but ... yeah, i'd do it again. but the voice never quite shut up, not for long. he had to get stitches when i was done with him. he never dared fucking touching me again.

but the calm lasted for like what? a day? it wasn't even always me looking for trouble. it always found me regardless. kind of a little like now, only that i signed up for it this time. fuck, no idea why i'm thinking about all that shit, or writing it down even. nobody's business but mine.

guess i'm just tired of fighting it. i do miss the army. every. single. day. sure, camp's ... fine and i wouldn't do much different if i got a second chance, but army was simple. do or die. fucking sarge johnson saved my life, i wonder what happened to him. wonder if he ever looked for me to see if i stuck to his program. i did. i am. mostly. i try. i can't just drop a mission mid-way for meditation, or lunch - or training, but i AM trying my best. i don't think nico realizes how bad it's looking inside me. i'm not sure how to tell him.

i suppose part of me is still hoping i won't have to. i also don't want him to feel guilty. it wasn't HIS fault he triggered it. it's my fault for being unable to fucking control myself. which only shows in how i keep hoping one of the cars passing us stops - or for someone to stop us. cops. anybody. how badly i want one of them to challenge me so i can let go. fuck. i've been fine for so long. why the fuck am i so restless lately? nico helps, but i can't rely on him for every minute of the damn day.

ugh anyway. emotions, thoughts. blah.

emotions... i'm annoyed at myself. thoughts? we've left the interstate and nico said we're taking a detour. wonder what he's up to, but he won't say. we're gonna sleep in some motel in minnesota tonight. safe to say i'm curious. no doubt it's gonna be something sappy. but i'm kinda waiting for it.