#hes meant to be really grey but im not sure its worth it
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i hate myself for making Pavo's sword look like That. it's going to be a pain in the ass to render and I'm never drawing it again but by god does it fuck.
#its going to be a lot more blue/teal/green in the final product bc its going to be all tarnished. n such#anyways Esti.#i dont like his karkat vibes so im probably gonna change up his horns#hes meant to be really grey but im not sure its worth it#idk#ill play around with the colors a bit more later#also this isn't related to anything happening in this drawing but ive decided his birth father isn't in this story because#esti's mom ate him. The dangers of being a monster fucker.
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re: peter
do you think that peter would look back on his life in canon and think that those extra years he got to live while being a mole, being a rat, and then voldys servant were worth what he traded them for. he would have only lived about 20 years otherwise so he doubled his lifespan.
i imagine giving up his friends to be killed was more of an under extreme pressure and fear on the spot decision than a deeply reflective strategy, and he cant change it once hes done it, only dig deeper, but surely he has to look back on it and think something about it? he never expresses regret, more like it was a tragic and terrible necessity.
-jegulily stuff
ok yes i love this question. so im pretty sure a while ago i made a post about how peter's biggest fear is dying and being forgotten (largely due to his dad forgetting him, his mum prioritising other kids over him, not being anyone's favourite person, and growing up during a war, so having death all around) he was pressured into joining the order, something he didn't want to do (not really by his friends, that would understand, but by his fear of being forgotten- not joining the war means not being apart of a huge thing in everyone else's lives).
wait so actually answering your question- I'd say he definitely does feel remorse for it and it was definitely a sort of split second decision to join or die- and he chose to join. BUT although he feels immense remorse and doesn't forgive himself for everything he's done, he knows if he could somehow go back in time he wouldn't change a thing. he sort of has moments of regretting it all- where he's wishing his friends were back at his side, but then he imagines his dead body, dying young and buried in piles of those that died in the first war. forgotten. and he doesn't regret it, because it meant survival and fame, no matter how temporary, that wouldn't have come without his sacrifices.
a side note: a fic im writing rn (mentioned it a little in my last peter ask) where regulus and peter betray both the death eaters and the order, is basically what i think peter's decision would be if he had more time to strategically plan things, instead of the second quick decision he actually had. and in that he joins the death eaters as a spy for them, finds out about horcruxes with regulus, and goes horcrux hunting with him and a few other morally grey characters in a very anti hero way. (i promise im not self promoting my fics here, its just relevant to the question)
so yeah, i feel like of course peter doesn't agree with the death eaters in anyway, but it was a decision between life and death that required, basically his soul. and yes he feels immensely bad about it and rightly hates himself for it, but wouldn't change a thing because to him, it was still worth it for those extra 20 years and the roughly 12 years of fame/honour and everyone knowing who he is.
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akaashi keiji guardian angel au
others: ushijima | masterlist | pardon me, this is really long
akaashi had been a guardian angel for as long as he could remember,, looking over people and helping them in his own way,,, and when one died, he was sent to look after another
he never let himself get emotionally attached to the person he was guarding, (unlike some people aka bokuto) because he knew he was going to outlive them,,, and it wasn't worth the pain anyway
but oh boy,,, when he was assigned to you,,, akaashi favored you like no other,, he'd smile to himself as he watched you dance in the mornings,,, watch your favorite movies over and over again,,
heck he'd want to wipe your tears when you were upset,, but he couldn't expose himself,, not unless you were in sufficient danger,, it was a rule,,,
and so it was just another regular day,, he was watching over you,, you were about to cross the street,, except, you were very distracted and another car was coming your way at full speed
akaashi was like ᕦ[ ◑ □ ◑ ]ᕤ
two hands pulled you back,,, as the car zoomed past you,, your heart was beating out it's chest,,,,
and then your eyes landed on the charming stranger that saved your life,,,,
black hair,,, grey eyes,, a muscular figure,,, this almost seems like a movie,, almost
“oh my god– thank you!” you exclaimed,, clutching your heart,,
“you're welcome,” the stranger replied,,,
“please tell me how I can repay the favor,” you say.
“there's no need–”
“PLEASE LET ME REPAY THE FAVOR”
akaashi was like (⊙_◎)
“uh coffee then?”
“there’s a cute little coffeeshop nearby, let's go there,” you told him.
so you ended up dragging him to the coffee shop and started talking to fill in the silence,,,
and all akaashi could think was how beautiful you were,,,, even more so in person,,, and now he's cursing the gods,, because all he wants is to have you in his arms,,, is this what they meant when they said that there would be a test of his faith?
“akaashi– are you okay?” you ask,, worryingly,, “you’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes without saying a single word.”
“my apologies,” he replied. “i’ve uh- just been having a headache.”
akaashi’s inner voice is like ‘yEAH HEADACHE BECAUSE I LIKE YOU BUT IM YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL AND THATS ALL ILL EVER BE’
“oh god– and here I am, rambling on like an idiot!” you pinched the bridge of your nose. “i’m so sorry.”
“please don’t apologize,” akaashi replied. “its not you, I just have a lot on my schedule.”
“you can leave,” you say. “please don’t feel obliged to sit with me.”
“actually– why don't we do this another time?” he suggested. “whenever you're free?”
one meeting turned into four
it was like every time akaashi wanted to desperately leave and not talk to you again, you gave him a reason to stay,, be it your thousand watt smile, the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed, the way you said his name,, the list could go on,,
he knew that if the other angels found out,, they'd banish him,, he wouldn't be an angel anymore,, and he wouldn't be a human either,, he'd be part of the ‘fallen’ as they say,,, they would also erase his memories,, all of them, every single one,,
but hey,, HE was the one in love right? It was one sided and they wouldn't punish him for that,,,
but when he heard you say the words, “keiji, I like you and I know you don't see me the same way–”
akaashi zoned out
you had fallen for him too,,
akaashi just looked up to the skies thinking,, ‘is it such a sin to fall in love?’
and then he looked at you,, who was apologizing for your feelings,, even though you shouldn't,,
he took a step towards you,, “may I kiss you–?” he interrupted,, and you nodded,,
and his lips collided with yours,, and akaashi had been in heaven,, but oh god,, your lips made it seem like rubble,, if this was his sin, so be it,,, he'd rather be called the devil,, than to go without kissing you for another day,,
much to his dismay,,, his happiness wouldn't last much longer,,
they came,, right at his doorstep,, when you were in his arms,, they entered your flat,,,
“akaashi keiji–” the angels circled him,, one of them grabbing him by the neck,, “you are said to be banished by the law of angels and your memory to be erased–”
and akaashi saw the look on your face,, shock,, anger,, worry,, he had told you months ago that this would happen,,
you were ready to run towards him,, but an angel was holding you back as well,,
“unless, you denounce your old ways, lose your title as a guardian angel, and lose your memories of this human and all encounters with them?”
and akaashi could feel anger coursing through his veins,, there is no way he would ever say yes to that,,,,, he loved you too much to forget about you,,
“you know the humans have a phrase for a situation like this– it's called, ‘fuck you!’” akaashi growled,,, as he broke out of their grasp,,
his hand grabbed you by your shirt,,, pulling you with him,, unleashing his beautiful white wings,, as he flew through the apartment window,,
after several minutes of flying,, akaashi set you down in a safe place,,
“i’m sorry,” the first words that ever came out of his mouth. “i'm sorry I dragged you into all of this– I should have been more careful but–”
“keiji, darling, don't ever apologize for this–” you put your forehead to his,, noses barely touching,, “if anything it made me love you even more–”
“are you sure you aren't the angel here?” akaashi asked,, and you let out a laugh,,
all akaashi could think was how he'd love to listen to this laughter for all eternity,, to the edge of madness,,, perhaps he wasn't your guardian angel,, you were his,,
#hq akaashi#akaashi x reader#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#akaashi x you#akaashi scenarios#akaashi keiji#akaashi headcanons#akaashi hcs#akaashi imagine#akaashi keiji imagine#akaashi keiji x reader#akaashi keiji x you
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Of something beautiful, but annihilating🚬3
Warnings: nonconsensual sex, violence and abuse, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of death'; violence, attempted rape.
This is dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Reader’s husband brings home an unexpected houseguest.
Note: So this is for black Friday and then I’ll be working all today and tomorrow and schedule’s are super late so I dunno when Im working after that. Hope you guys enjoy and don’t hesitate to drop by my asks.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Arvin let you pick the record. You found it among the box of your daddy’s music. It was one of your favourites and you were glad he wasn’t bothered by Patsy Cline’s droll tones. He seemed to enjoy it as he sat and read a magazine and you searched for a button from your large tin to match that missing from Roy’s jacket.
“You ever listen to Elvis?” He looked up from behind the pages.
“I… I heard him on the radio but you know we haven’t got new records since Daddy died,” you said as you continued your hunt. “And Roy don’t like all that new music. He says it’s no good.”
“Well, he doesn’t seem to like much, does he?” Arvin sniffed, “I always knew he was a grouch but I just thought it was the job.”
“He’s not… He’s just stressed. He works so much.” You looked down and settled on a button that was close enough.
“You do too,” Arvin hid behind the magazine again. “You should be the one goin’ out and doin’ what you like on a Saturday. Hell, if he ain’t gonna spend his time with you, you should do something of your own.”
“I like sewing,” you shrugged as you threaded the button, “You know, it’s not so bad. I get time to myself. A lot of people can’t say that.”
“Sounds pretty lonely to me,” he flicked the page.
You were silent. You didn’t know how to respond. He was skirting around what he really wanted to say, what you didn’t want him to talk about. The tension in the air thickened as you feared he would admit that he knew or you might confess that your husband wasn’t much of one. Hell, you’d yet to accept that yourself.
Your fears were assuaged by the sudden clatter on the porch and the hinges of the door as it was swung open. You sat up and set aside Roy’s jacket. You stood as he staggered inside. He always did like to drink when he fished, or did much of anything else. You frowned as he tracked mud in on his tall rubber boots.
“Roy, you’re making a mess,” you said as you went to the doorway and watched him stumble around the entryway.
“Keep ya busy,” he slapped a hand on the wall and wiggled his leg free of a boot. “There’s a whole pail of fish out front too.”
“Mmm,” you hummed as his cheeks glowed. You doubted he’d be awake that long. “Well, I’ll just fry those up while you sit down.”
“Agh,” he tripped over his other boot as he slipped it off and Arvin brushed by you to catch him.
“Hey, Roy,” he took his arm, “How was the fishing? Why don’t you sit down? We’ll have a beer.”
“I almost forgot about you, boy,” he shook free of Arvin and ambled closer to you, “Maybe you can hide away after dinner for a while?”
He dragged his hand up your thigh and slapped your ass as he passed you. Arvin turned as Roy clumsily traipsed into the living room and fell onto the couch. He looked at you but you couldn’t stand to meet his.
“Sure,” Arvin uttered, “I’ll just go get those fish first.”
He disappeared through the front door and you crossed your arms as you turned to watch your husband. His head lolled as he chuckled.
“You think he ever fucked a girl?” He asked, “Boy tiptoes around like a virgin.”
“That’s crass, Roy,” you reproached.
“Don’t act so innocent,” he snapped, “If you didn’t, maybe I’d… well.”
His words trailed off and he closed his eyes. He yawned and sighed loudly. You grimaced and listened to the door as it hit the frame again. Arvin continued onto the kitchen as Roy began to snore. It must have been a record how quickly he’d passed out this time.
You went through to the kitchen as Arvin drained the water from the pail of fish. You went to the drawer and got a knife. You rest it on its end as you gripped it and looked out the window.
“He’s already out for the night,” you said, “You hungry?”
“I said I’d make the fish, I meant it.”
“Nah, I’ll flay them and put ‘em in the fridge,” you swallowed, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That you’re stuck here with us. Sorry he’s always drunk.” You looked down at the blade. You didn’t say what you really wanted to. Sorry you were stupid enough to choose Roy.
“That isn’t your fault and you know, I don’t mind it so much.” He neared, “We’re friends now, aren’t we? That’s worth it.”
You nodded but couldn’t smile. He always tried to make things seem nicer than they were. He was much better at it than you were.
“You comin’ to church tomorrow?”
“Of course,” he answered like it was obvious.
You turned away and laid out the fish across the cutting board. He stayed behind you, the record silenced and began to skip.
“I think I got somethin’ nice I can find.” He left you and the crackle of the Victrola died.
You slice the fish, careful not to cut your fingers as you deboned it and tossed away the heads and tails. You heard Arvin speak in a low voice and a grumble. Then heavy footsteps interspersed with lighter ones. The stairs groaned and you kept on, wrapping the filets in paper and tucking it away.
You cleaned up and washed the smell off your hands. The living room was empty so you climbed the stairs and found Roy face down on your bed. You turned to the open attic and Arvin descended the ladder.
“You got him to bed?” You tilted your head.
“Wasn’t so hard. Poked him a few times.” He grinned. “So what time do I needa be ready for church?”
“We leave about twenty minutes before service. It’s at eight.” You answered, “Oh, you know what--” You raised your index finger, “One sec.”
You spun and scurried into your father’s room. It was just as it had been before he died except now there were boxes stacked along one wall. You pushed open the closet and fluttered through the clothes hanging within. You pulled out the old grey suit and white shirt that had yet to yellow. You grabbed a tie from the drawer as you passed the dresser.
You smelled them as you went back to the door as Arvin peeked in.
“For church,” you held them out, “My daddy was a bit taller but he got skinny near the end. I can pin up the pants for you and you’ll look just fine.”
“Oh,” he face paled, “You-- I can’t--”
“Roy’ll never fit into these so please,” you pushed them against his chest. “And I don’t think he’ll be up in time for church so I need you to drive.”
He smiled and took the clothes. He hugged them as if they were precious. “Thank you. I’m gonna sound like you for a moment but you really didn’t have to.”
“You think I’m gonna forget that you promised to make the fish? It’ll be a nice Sunday night dinner.” You inhaled deeply, “I think that for tonight, I’m gonna lay down though.”
“Alright,” he let you past, “You have a good night.”
“You too,” you neared your bedroom door as Roy’s snores grew louder, “Might have to stuff my ears with cotton.”
🚬
As you expected, Roy was too hungover to get up for church. You didn’t really go for the sermons but your daddy made it a habit when you were young to make sure you got to see the other kids in town. Sunday school had socialised you in the circles of the small town but they had proven less than welcoming. And since you’d grown out of your education, you went to trade recipes with some of the other wives.
Arvin was awake before you. As you pulled a cardigan over your blue dress you stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he appeared from the front room.
“Oh, Arvin,” you smiled, “That suit looks real nice on you. And the pants…”
“I sewed them myself last night,” he lifted his foot, “Remembered a few stitches.” He straightened the jacket, “You look real good too.”
“Well, aren’t we a pair?” You chimed. “Gonna have to be since Roy hasn’t moved since you dragged him to bed.”
“After you,” he waved to the door, “Think we should get goin’. My daddy woulda whipped me being late for the lord’s prayer.
You led him out the door and climbed into the truck opposite him. He turned the ignition and the engine rumbled to life. You felt calm as you smelled the early morning dew and you looked out the window as he shifted into gear. The lush green grass passed you by and trees swayed as he steered along the old country road.
As always, the church was crowded. You and Arvin squeezed in at the back. He was quiet and sombre as you entered. As you sat, you looked over at him. His jaw squared as the preacher came out and began his weekly scourge. A fire burned behind Arvin’s brown irises and he scowled for a moment before his face went placid.
You looked forward and folded your hands as you listened to Father Milton. You never cared much for his talk of hellfire and brimstone, to be fair, your daddy didn’t either, but in a small town, everyone knew when one was away from service. Roy never cared what anyone thought but you had to deal with Noreen and the other ladies at the grocer or around town about their own tasks.
When mass finished, you stood but Arvin hesitated. He stared up at the altar before he finally rose. He nodded to you and followed you and the other worshippers out into the sun.
You heard your name as you headed for the truck. You stopped and Arvin did too. You turned as Noreen, a woman older than yourself who fashioned herself to be the model for all society ladies, approached you. She wore a wide-brimmed hat over her blonde hair and took short steps in her heels.
“You promised me that carrot cake recipe. The one with the raisins.” She said. “Now I’ve been hounding you for three weeks.”
“Oh, uh,” you unclasped your pocketbook and fished out the card you’d made sure to stow after last Sunday. “Right here. I’m sorry, Noreen, but I gotta get back.”
“Where is Roy? Was he off drinkin’ again? You know, the lord did warn us all against excess.”
“Well, perhaps we can get him to come next week and you can warn him,” Arvin intoned and Noreen looked over in shock.
“Excuse me. And who is this… man you have as your escort?”
“Roy is letting the attic out to him. They work together. This is Arvin.”
“Arvin Russell,” he introduced firmly.
“That’s an unusual name,” Noreen remarked, “You’re not from here?”
“No, but from a place like this.” He countered, “I’m gonna go get the truck goin’.”
He turned without courtesy and marched away. You looked back to Noreen as she curled her lip.
“Oh, he is a rough one, isn’t he? You have that scoundrel livin’ with you?”
“He’s a good man. Helps around the house. It’s a big place and Missy Grable has a tenant of her own.”
“Missy Grable has a farmhand to tend the fields,” Noreen lifted her chin.
You weren’t certain what to say. Noreen always found issue with whatever you said and you hated to give her further reason to.
“Well, here’s the recipe. I really ought to go.” You said.
“I understand, honey,” She smirked, “Your husband needs his caretaker… oh sorry, wife.”
You flinched but said nothing else. Your shoulders dropped as you turned away and dragged your heels through the dirt. You opened the truck and climbed in without a word. You clutched your pocketbook and stared ahead as Arvin back out of the lot.
“Pardon my saying so and I don’t use this word often, but she was a bitch,” Arvin said. “Remind me why I ain’t go to church.”
You looked down and nervously unclasped and unclasped your purse. “You didn’t have to come.”
“No, it’s your house and I wanna be a good guest,” he said, “It’s nothing to do with you.”
You scoffed and shook your head. “My daddy hated goin’ too but he didn’t want me to be ostracised, you know? He told me, near the end, that he stopped believin’ durin’ the war. He said no god would let the things happen that he saw.” You leaned against the door and watched the buildings pass. “Seein’ how these Christians act, I can’t blame him.”
Arvin was quiet as you left the main street and the house began to thin out until the country sprawled out around you.
“My sister…” he said so low you barely heard him. He cleared his throat and spoke louder. “My cousin, she was tricked by a preacher man. She was young and too willing to love. And he was just a liar. He knocked her up then refused her.” His voice was brittle and you glanced over as his hand tightened on the steering wheel. “She hung herself but it was that snake-tongued charlatan who killed her.” He shook his head. “No god would take her like that. No god would let a man sworn to him trick the innocent.” He rubbed his forehead as his eyes bore into the distance, “I’m sorry. Just been a while since I sat in a pew.”
“No, I’m… sorry. Sorry about your cousin.” You said, “I didn’t-- You can stay home next week.”
He pondered it and a little smile curled his lips. “Don’t think I will. Think I’d like to see that Noreen again. Maybe say a prayer for her soul, wherever it may be.”
🚬
Roy was still in bed when you got home. You tried to rouse him and he swatted you away. You brought him a sandwich and some water and left it beside him. You went back down to clean up as Arvin sat in the front room, As you wiped your hands, the record player buzzed and a tune rose on noontime air.
You went to the living room as Arvin stood straight and you listened to the smooth tones of Sinatra. He turned to you as you entered.
“I like this one,” you said.
“Me too,” He had shed the jacket and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, his tie disposed of. He turned his palm up as he stepped away from the player. “You dance?”
You giggled and shook your head. “No, not much of a dancer. Roy wouldn’t even at the wedding.”
“Come on. It’s a good song.” He got closer and began to sing out of tune, “I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all…”
You shied away and he caught your hand. You let him draw you closer and smiled as your cheeks warmed up.
“Just follow my lead,” he urged as he moved his feet, “Don’t look down, just one, two, one, two…”
You moved your feet around his as he swayed you and turned you on the spot. His hand settled on your lower back and you grasped his shoulders. You were jittery as you moved with him in time to the music.
“Arvin…” You breathed.
“Every pretty girl should dance,” he said, “I’d say you’re a hell of a dancer for a beginner.”
“Thanks,” you trilled and settled into his embrace.
“I mean it. You deserve more.” He leaned closer and you felt his hot breath on you. “You deserve the world.”
You smiled as he gazed across at you. Your heart leapt as there was a sudden clamour by the stairs and you pushed away from Arvin as Roy stomped into the doorframe. His hand fell away from your back and you tiptoed over to your husband.
“Roy, you’re awake? How ya feelin’?”
“All this goddamn noise you makin’ down here,” he grumbled, “Shut off that dang thing. There’s a game on.”
You flitted away and turned off the Victrola. You looked at Arvin as he watched Roy. He looked irritated and repulsed by the man.
“I gotta do some chores,” you muttered. “You boys enjoy the game.”
“I think I’m just gonna go upstairs,” Arvin tucked his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be down to cook that fish in a bit.”
You watched the younger man leave and Roy turned the dial on the radio. Your husband flopped onto the couch as the commentator’s voice filled the room.
“How about a beer?” He demanded, not asked.
🚬
The day turned to night. Dinner was quiet and tense. Roy didn’t drink as much as the day before but the alcohol made little difference. Arvin was pensive and seemed to lose himself in thought. You were nervous as you thought of the dance and your temperamental husband.
You hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just a dance. How come Roy could spend his days drunk and dozing and you couldn’t do anything you liked?
You cleaned up after supper. Arvin retreated to his room once more as Roy sat in the living room with another bottle and you tidied up. You cleared the last of the mess and looked out into the front room. Roy belched and sneered as he saw you.
“Wife,” he beckoned you forward with two fingers, “What did you do today?”
“Went to church. Cleaned.” You edged closer. “That’s all. I was real worried about you, Roy.”
“Were you?” He snorted and stood as he dropped his bottle on the table. “You didn’t seem too bothered when I came down.”
“What do you mean?” You stopped a foot away from him.
“You and that kid. You get on real well, don’t ya?” He snickered. “You down here dancing.”
“Just a dance, Roy,” you said meekly, “I didn’t wanna be rude.”
“You just wanna be a whore,” he snarled, “Huh? What you doin’ with that boy? I’m your husband.”
“I know, I know that, Roy. I never-- I didn’t do nothing.” You pleaded as he stepped closer. “I was just waitin’ for you to wake up.”
“Shut your fucking mouth,” he hissed as he grabbed the back of your head and thrust you close to him. “You been doin’ everything but what a wife is meant for.”
He tore open the front of your dress and you cried out. “I’m gonna fuck you and let that boy hear who you belong to.”
“Stop, please.”
“Stop!? This is what you promised me, dear wife.”
You struggled with him as the smell of alcohol on his breath made you cringe. He spun you and shoved you so hard you stumbled back against the couch. You got up as he ambled after you and were knocked back by his fist. You cradled your cheek as you fell onto the cushions.
He pushed you up against the back of the couch and tried to wrench your legs apart. You squeezed your knees together and slapped at him blindly as fear bubbled in your veins. He forced your legs open and knelt on the couch between them. He grabbed your throat as you tried to wriggle away and he struck you again. He never hit your face; he didn’t like people to see what he did to you.
“I’ll show you,” he muttered, “I’ll show you, you little whore.”
He reached for his fly but his face mirrored your shock as he suddenly stilled and for a moment, he froze in time before he fell back onto the floor. Arvin stepped aside to avoid the crash and turned to hit him across the face. Roy’s brow split and began to stream with blood.
Arvin struck him a third time and pointed the gun at his head as he laid prone on the floor. Roy touched the back of his skull as he stared up barrel. The whack from the butt of the gun would likely leave a worse lump than his punches.
“Get up and go.” Arvin growled. “Or I’m gonna smear this carpet with your brains.”
“Are you crazy? This is my house!” Roy barked and pushed himself up. The pistol clicked and Arvin pressed it to his head.
“It’s her daddy’s house.”
“She’s my wife, boy.”
“You don’t act like no husband,” Arvin said gruffly, “You think I’m scared? Think I haven’t shot a man before?”
“Sure you have, boy.”
“It’s different. You go out and you hunt your bucks and they don’t know what’s comin’, they don’t even know when they shot. But a man, oh he knows to the end. He begs, even if he can’t speak, he does. It’s in his eyes, in the way he gurgles as the life drains from his lips.” Arvin kicked Roy, “And once I pull this trigger, you’ll be begging too but it’ll be too late and there ain’t no words you can say to stop the blood. So you shut up and you go before you can’t.”
You were paralysed on the couch. Your head throbbed as you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. You trembled as Roy stood slowly and winced as Arvin followed his movement with the muzzle of the gun. Arvin followed your husband to the door and you heard the sharp whine of the other before it clattered shut.
Crickets chirped as dirt stirred beneath feet and you heard the old truck shudder to life. The door snapped shut and locked loudly. Arvin appeared and lowered the gun. You stared at it as he came close. He set it on the table and sat beside you as he touched your face and you winced.
“Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled you against him, “I’m sorry he hurt you. I shoulda-- shoulda been faster.”
“Arv…” Your voice turned to a wisp and you let him hold you.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I got you now.”
#arvin russell#arvin russell x reader#Dark Fic#dark!fic#reader x oc husband#fic#series#the devil all the time#of something beautiful but annihilating
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im so bad a sending angst prompts but i love reading it so here is me trying. still in my luke feels so like what if you have a family with him but like he's been missing a lot of events and you understand it's for work but like with your second child its much harder and like at some point i feel like you are really trying to make it work but idk it kinda just is falling apart. i mean i love everything you write so.... 🙃🥺👀
Pick Me, Choose Me
Luke Alvez x Reader
Warnings: fem!reader, arguing
Category: Angst
Word Count: 1k
Author’s Note: I love this and you! mwah! 🥺🥺 anyone notice my greys reference in the title ? Anyways I hope you like it bubs!
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Today was your daughter’s school play. She was the lead in the play and she was so excited, especially since Luke was able to come. He had been away for the play last year but it meant a lot to her that he was here.
He had missed a few events for your children because of work but you never blamed him. It was his job and he loved it, you would never hold that against him.
The 4 of you headed to the play, you both wished your daughter good luck before she ran backstage to get ready. Luke had bought her flowers and left them in the trunk to give her after her play.
Luke, your son and yourself all found a spot in the front to watch the play.
Half way through the play, Luke’s phone buzzes,
and then buzzes again
and once more after that.
He pulls out his phone to check it and you glance over to see who it was.
From Emily: I know it’s your off day but we have a case
From Emily: I’ll have Penelope send you the files
From Emily: You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to, you can consult from home.
You watch him as he thinks, he glances at the stage, at your daughter and then back to his phone. “Do you need to go ?” you leaned over and whispered to him. He shook his head, “are you sure?” you ask him again, “They don’t need me but they need me. you know what I mean?” he looks over at you.
“Just go” you mumble, turning your attention back to your daughter.
“Give her the flowers for me” he gives you a quick kiss before saying goodbye to your son and leaving.
To say you were pissed is an understatement. He was in for a piece of your mind when you get home.
----
The case didn’t take long to wrap up, Luke was home by the next weekend. He came home to a very upset daughter and a pissed off wife. Your son didn’t care much, he just wanted to play video games with his dad right now.
“Daddy!” your daughter ran up to him. “Hey mama! You were so good in your play!” he gave her a hug “You left before the end. You didn’t get to see the full thing” she pouted with her hands on her hips.
She definitely had your attitude.
“Baby, I'm sorry. Daddy had to go to work, did momma give you the flowers ?” she nodded, “they’re pretty” she smiled, showing off her missing tooth. “Pretty just like you” he gave her a kiss on the cheek, she ran off giggling to go find her brother.
Luke made his way into the kitchen, you were washing the dishes but you heard him come in. “Hey babe” he stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. His chin rested on your shoulder, pressing a small kiss into your neck.
You didn’t say anything to him, “I missed you” he mumbled into your neck. You turned off the tap to the sink and turned around to face him.
“How was the case? worth missing your daughter’s play for ?” you smiled at him sweetly
He sighed “y/n, don’t do that. It’s not fair”
“Seriously ? don’t tell me to not do that. You think I didn’t see the messages ? Emily said you didn’t have to go in but you chose too. You chose work over your family, over your daughter. She might have forgiven you but you didn’t see the look on her face when she got off stage and realized that you weren’t there” you pushed past him to check where the kids were.
“Y/n, don’t start that with me, it’s my job you know that” he sighed.
you scoffed and shook your head, you can’t believe this man. “Seriously ? I never make you feel bad about doing your job but c’mon Luke. You missed his birthday last year and you missed her play last year and his year. You didn’t go to a single one of his soccer games this year either.”
Luke walked over to you and pushed the kitchen door shut so the kids wouldn't hear you. Your back was against the door, his hand against the door, holding it shut and basically keeping you in place.
“Y/n, I'm trying okay? I don’t know what else you want me to do.”
“Matt had 4 kids and a 5th one on the way, he makes time for his family and he has the same job as you. You have 2 kids and you can’t keep up. Pick your family for once Luke”
You felt bad for comparing him to Matt but you needed to prove your point, that he can make time for his family and his job. He let out a sigh, his finger lifted your chin so you were looking directly at him.
“I hear you, I'm sorry I've missed so much but I’m trying. I promise I'll try and be here more often, if they don’t say they need me, I won’t go. I love you guys more than anything in the world. I pick you, y/n. All of you.”
His forehead rested against yours. You brought your hands up to his cheeks, cradling his face.
“Your promise you’ll try Luke ?”
“I promise I'll try y/n”
#luke alvez#ssa luke alvez#luke alvez x you#luke alvez x reader#luke alvez x y/n#luke alvez oneshot#luke alvez imagine#cm#cm imagines#cm imagine#cm oneshot#criminal minds#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds oneshot
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Early Concept Arts of Dimitri, Claude, Edelgard
Consider it an occupational interest of sorts, We dont have much in the way of early concept art for three houses unfortunately. Most of what i’ve seen released is more so late development and reference sheets on that front. For a while now however there have been some early looks into dimitri, claude, and edelgards character designs that i feel might be worth a quick glance at.
well start with dimitri since his is the least changed in comparison to the final product, though not without its interesting notes.
like i said, not too much is overall different. The cape and sword belt thing [dont remember the proper term] are identitcal, dimitris hair and face, and well the gauntlets look slightly different compared to the final release they are still there, though strangely without the leg armour which is instead normal boots in the garreg mach uniform style.
the most notable and obvious change is of course the lack of the upper body armour, followed by a change on the trimming of the outfit which is the standard gold as opposed to gunmetal grey/dark silver seen on the final outfit. in place of the upper body armour you’ll note that dimitris actually wearing a near identical uniform set up as the final version of school edelgard wears [namely the cravat and gold chain mind you] so perhaps those are suppose to be elements of a standard/baseline house leader uniform originally as opposed to edelgards unique flair? At least at some point during the development? Certainly these elements were either dimitris first before being moved onto edelgards design later, or were edelgards first and were attempted to be utilized in dimitris design as well before being scrapped from him and kept to edelgard. That certainly gives me the impression that this is a fairly late early design piece though as it were, considering how close it is to dimitris final school design. Something that can very much not be said for claude and edelgards early designs.
moving onto claudes
We see that either leicester was a lot different of a place in early development, or claude was a lot less subtle about his foreign origins. funnily enough, you can also see similar elements of a ‘standard house leader’ in this version of the uniform, the jacket being more in line with edelgards final jacket and dimitris early jacket and claudes even sporting a cravat like the other two. if his cape wasn’t covering the other side of his outfit i wouldn’t be surprised if the golden chain was there as well. speaking of that cape though its certainly very different compared to the final cape he wears. Not only is it drapped on the front on the opposite side of his final design, it has a series of black lines cutting into it. and as opposed to the longcoat design of his final uniform hes sporting a similar length shirt as other garreg mach uniforms [with the sleeves pulled up form the looks of it], a fabric belt, and even poofier pants [with golden embroidery on the sides which further give it a more foreigner vibe then his final outffit] then his final design along with shorter boots. on a smaller note youll also notice that hes missing his left ear earring, though otherwise his face and hairstyle are the same as the final version.
the keen eye of you will also notice that this early claude design actually shares quite a lot in common with another claude design. Namely, claudes post timeskip outfit. Cape draping over the front right side of the body, short coat and poofier pants, a cravat, and most importantly the belt which is near identical here to his post timeskip belt
its even worn in a very similar fashion. Why they would do this im not sure, claudes late inclusion in development perhaps pressing them to settle on reusing these elements as opposed to something more unique? Or did the design staff like these elements enough to continue them into clades post timeskip design? questions questions.
now onto edelgard, who i’ve held off for last because hers is by far the most radical departure of design, and she has a lot more content to go over
first to start off i’ll just quickly mention the elements that held over to her final design: white hair, ribbons, leggings, lavender eyes. Now that that’s out of the way... it really is quite the design shift isn’t it and kinda what i meant when asking which came first with the garreg mach ‘house leader uniform’ elements as it were. Was it dimitri, or was it edelgard? Regardless this certainly feels like to me the earliest design of the lot with edelgard sporting almost none of the garreg mach uniform elements [perhaps they were closer to this originally? perhaps edelgard wasn’t even a student initially?]. You’ll also notice that the reds on her outffit are much more subdued compared to the final outffit, a bit of purple splashed in as opposed to the pure red she sports in the final design. And as opposed to the shorts she wears in the final design, here shes sporting a dark blueish skirt along with a black... belt thing.
additionally her house cape [lacking decoration but with some of it pulled over the front when it is there] colour is black as well indicating that yes the black eagles house colour was very much suppose to be black initially. Additionally the uniform itself well not having much in the way of parallels to the garreg mach uniform does invoke elements of 19th century military officer uniforms rather strongly, especially the two to the right which go all the way up the chest to the neckline belt thing. though maybe the original garreg mach uniforms were more to this style in general? Her own cravat is also in a much different style and black as opposed to white like dimitri and claudes early design cravats. additionally well we can’t see the rest of he legs its seems she was originally suppose to have much taller boots as well looking at the little bit of black we can see on her legs there. she does have a gold chain as well but its hooked under her right arm, and her sleeves like the gold cuff trimmings.
Youll also notice that shes got a much different hairstyle here, not only sporting some rather straightesh bangs and an alternating ribbon colour of lavender or red, consideration as to whether or not she should have a bit draping in the front, slight differences in the long side bits of her hair and even some consideration of if she should have hair buns or even short hair altogether [though her designs lean more towards long hair]. Either her hair was giving them a lot of trouble, or her early designs here are damn near the beginning which im inclined to believe. We even have a sheet dedicated to trying out different styles for her
the one they ultimantly landed on, minus the front sweeping hair, you can see in the bottom left. I kinda prefer the top left one myself though, though thats probably due to its similarities to saber from fate/stay’s hairstyle. The top left one reminds me a lot of lysithias hairstyle incidentally, which might possibly mean that lysithias character [atleast her look] sprang from unused edelgard concepts.
overall:
i prefer dimitris final design myself since it suits him and his story better, but its also so similar to his final design that i feel part of it might just be better familiarity with the final look. Either way it generally works.
Claudes early look i find fascinating in terms of how it seems to have carried over into his post timeskip look to some degree. in the end though i prefer his final look for what they eventually decided on with his character, someone sneaky whos hiding his cultural origins. The final design speaks more to a claude that much more open about those origins instead.
edelgards... im stuck on because her early design speaks to me of a much different game in terms of look and story, well her final design meshes better with even claude and dimitris early designs. However if i had to pick one i prefer from visual looks alone... i’d say edelgards early design with short hair [the one on the far right of her first picture essentially]. I like the implication of the uniforms in general looking closer to that obviously since im a sucker for that visual look [perhaps even have more individual flair to each countries school uniform including designs and colours], and a sucker for short hair in general, but i feel the militaristic aspects of the early design suit edelgard better and the shade of red more appealing in general here. Maybe blend this one and her final design to get the perfect edelgard outffit? idk.
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I was in desperate need of some beel fluff, so i wrote some. As one does. Uh, ive never done this,(posting fanfic, i normally jus write small things for myself tbh😅) before so please have mercy lol
I hope ya like it though, it put a smile on my face so im hoping it does the same for you♡
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You started filling the hem of your shirt with snacks, as many as you could fit in the scrunched up fabric that is, a tired but playful grin on your lips, as you thought over what you planned to do, mentally prepping yourself.
Normally, you're not so bold about seeking out comfort and such, feeling shy about showing vulnerability...but today, ugh, today had you particularly worn down. You needed something, affection preferably. You'd settle for a warm bath and some melatonin if you had to. Though, you really didnt want too.
You were tired of self soothing all the time. And Asmos care packages could only help so much. But you knew how to make it all magically better. There was only one option in times like these .
You worked quickly, excitement bouncing around in your gut, making your hands a little shaky.
Having grabbed all you could you carry, you practically dashed from the kitchen. Your mind set on finding a certain big demon. Last you heard, he was headed to his room for a bit. You hoped he was still there.
When you finally reached his bedroom door, you found yourself in a tad bit of a pickle. Your eyebrows furrowed, the realization that you wouldn't be able to open the door making you frown at the closed door briefly. You cursed yourself slightly, for not thinking that far ahead. You forgot in all your excitement.
Briefly you considered trying to use you feet before dropping the idea. Guess you've got no choice.
Dang it! You felt kinda bummed that you'd be losing the element of surprise, but the grin soon returned, thinking about seeing Beel always you happy, regardless of the circumstances.
"Beeeeellllllllllll!" You called out, letting a bit of a whine into your voice, hey, who knows? Maybe it'd get him in front of you faster?? He tended to be on the slower side of answering his door, sometimes he simply didnt hear it. Especially if he was working out or watching tv.
Apparently, whining his name did not speed him up:(
You were about to call out again, worried he hadn't heard you, when the door clicked open. The mere sound making you feel slightly giddy. Your eyes snapping up to meet his briefly. You soaked in as many details of him as you could, without just straight ogling him, before flicking your eyes back up to meet his.
"Y/n?" He seemed pleasantly surprised, dressed in a black tank top and grey sweats (you were happy to see him wearing them, because while he looked like a whole ass meal in them, it also meant he had no plans of leaving the house tonight).
His eyes were quick to find the odd lumps wrapped up in your shirt, as well as the bit of tummy peaking out. The position you held your shirt in had caused the bottom of your stomach to show, something you had worried about on the way here, anxious about a different brother catching a glimpse of you. You could feel his stare burn against your skin, he was about to say something, but then his nose twitched, and his eyes fixed on your bundle of snacks instead.
-
Not that you minded his staring your stomach, not with Beel.
The others...maybe.
Your tummy was one of his favorite parts about you, he's hands finding their way under your shirt to touch and squeeze the soft flesh more often than not. Always gentle and non intrusive. I think he'd full on cry if he accidentally upset you somehow tbh.
Boy had absolutely no shame about it, once he learned you didnt mind much.
Especially when you seemed to be a bit shy about showing your stomach, with the others, or just in general. He made sure to let you know how much he loved your squish. Be it at RAD or just casually in the house.
The only person who ever raised a fuss over it was Mammon, although, he tended to fuss over everything you did anyways;; His protests did absolutely nothing to deter you or Beel, much to his dismay.
Sometimes, if Beel was hungry and needed a distraction or a quick 'pick me up', he'd scoop you up and just shove his face into your tummy. (Much like what I do with my cat when I'm bored and/or sad) Then he'd just hold you there until he absolutely had to let you down.
Relishing in the feel of your softness and you heart racing under your skin, fluttering so delicately under his lips, pressing his face against you was an instant mood lifter for him.
You loved it, a surprised but delighted laugh always ripping from your chest, almost subconsciously. You couldn't hide your happiness in his affections, not that you would want to (thats a lie, you cant help but be embarrassed at the end of the day by the intensive joy you felt whenever you looked at him). Which only seemed to motivate him even more, and soon each time he scooped you up, he'd kiss all over your tummy, making you giggle because it tickled, before hugging you close with a small sigh.
-
"I brought snacks, and some cuddles. So uhm, can I nap on you for a bit? 'M tired. Unless your busy or something..." you beam up at him, starting to hesitate toward the end, suddenly a little unsure.
"Pretty please?? I wont bug ya, I promise." You plead, pulling your best puppy dog eyes, shifting from one foot to the other nervously. His eyes widened as his brain processed what you said, and the cute sight in front of him. If he was being honest, it made his brain stop for a split second.
He chuckled at you and lifted you up by the back of your knees, holding you carefully to his chest, mindful of your full shirt. A small startled squeak coming from you as he did so, a sound he never got tired of hearing.
You glanced in the room as he closed to door, he had papers sprawled over the small coffee table in the middle of the room, and a few (you spotted more in the trash bin in the corner) empty food wrappers around his work space. He plopped down in front of the table again, taking only a few steps to reach it. You were kind of jealous, your short legs never being a fair match against his. Luckily he enjoyed carrying you, which solved that issue right quick.
"You can keep me company while I finish my homework." He says, shifting you into his lap and keeping a loose hold on your lower stomach, fingers splaying out to get a small feel of your exposed skin. Glancing around, you dont see belphies mop of hair in his bed, he was probably sleeping in the attic or the observatory, you quietly hum to yourself, abit happy to have Beel all to yourself for the moment. Shifting forward, Beels hands refusing to let you go and setting on your waist, you hold your shirt above the edge of the table, and let the snacks spill from your shirt before smoothing the garment back down, missing Beels frown as he looses sight of your tummy. Quickly moving to organize the snacks a bit, so that they were within reach and not scattered all over his papers and in the way.
"Thank you, your the bestest!!" You say, the dull ache in your arms more than worth the effort in your opinion.
You tilted your head back so you can look up at him. Making eye contact with him made your brain kinda just...mush. Your hands slowly squeezing his on your waist, lifting them so you move a bit.
You tore you gaze from his, before turning around and wrapping your arms around his nack and your legs around his torso,(like a koala in his opinion).
Scooting as close as you could get away with, (your not as stealthy as you give yourself credit for, he knows, he just too nice to tease you for it, and he doesn't want you to stop), so you could snuggle up to him and be comfy at the same time. Which wasn't all that hard to do with him, being the teddy bear he is.
Your eyes glazed over slightly, and you were distracted as you mind pulled your attention away.
Ah, you were in pure bliss, you could die happy like this~
You had grabbed plenty of snacks, being sure to vary in your choices, knowing Beel would like to have options, and hoping to be able to buy some extra time with him and a cute Beel smile as a reward for your effort. Tho, youd do it anyways.
Not that you'd ever admit to that. Nuh uh, no way. Unless he asked nicely, you'd give in embarrassingly fast if he ever did, the realization making your face heat up.
But...
Embarrassment be damned, youd never tell Beel 'No'.
He looks down at you, face going all blushy and soft at your slightly dazed and flushed expression. Your thoughts getting the best of you for a moment. Shaking your head slightly and letting out a resigned sigh.
"Of course you can," you snap out of it when he speaks up, looking up at him, quick to give him your full attention. "I love when you cuddle up with me, it helps me focus a bit. You didn't have to bribe me, though, as long as its you, my cuddles come free-" wrapping his arms around your shoulders, giving you a snug hug, he moves to continue. "Not that I'm complaining-" you cut him off, feeling slightly guilty about it. You were already flustered, and his sweet words weren't helping your predicament one bit. That was until your eyes actually focus on his face, oh sweet hell, hes so precious!!! Your heart thumps nearly painfully for a moment, nerves biting into your thoughts.
Your face was definitely beat red now, you could feel it at the tips of your ears even. Yet you refused to move, your eyes locked on his. A rare occurrence, one you could tell he was basking in, his eyes were glued to your face, studying it. His flush deepening slightly.
Squishing his cheeks and "shushing" him gently. Your basically cooing at him, to tired suddenly to care much about how your words or actions came off. The nervousness slipping away from your voice and movements. "Its not a bribe hun, I just felt like seeing you smile before I fell asleep on you. Heh, your smile is my goodluck charm for good dreams, ya know?" You tiredly rub his cheek with your thumb, eyes lit up happily and content. Giving him a small breathless laugh at the end.
He really did calm you down, your mind slowing down as the excitement started to fade, a fact you became overly aware of quite suddenly, your eyes feeling quite heavy now that you felt safe.
You yawned, your weariness catching up to you.
Beels quick to notice, taking note of the bags under your eyes. Dont worry, he'll make sure you get some good sleep, no bad dreams were gonna plague you on his watch. He glances over at the snacks you brought, unbelievably happy. Seeing you so cutely curled up to him, the fact that you brought him as much food as you could carry(a sight he nearly died from when he saw it) and your sweet sweet words, it definitely warmed his heart to say in the least.
He loved that you actually came to find him, just so you could cuddle. His adoration for you is bottomless, just like his hunger.
So, Beel wraps you inna big bear hug, pulling you closer and peppering the top of your head and face with kisses. He gives you a big grin, his eyes sparkling happily. "Nap, I'll wake you up when I'm done and we can hangout till dinner."
You tiredly nod, relaxing against him.
Grabbing a baggy of chips, he smooches your forehead, before tucking your face under his chin so he could munch, and see his work(not like that was much of an issue, beels a big boy after all👀), without completely covering the top of your head in crumbs (you'd told him you didn't mind, especially since he always ruffled your hair to get then out, and you loved that...but he still feels bad about it and tries to avoid it to some extent) and being able to rest his chin on top your head was just the cherry on top for him.
💗Happy beel mode activated💗
Sighing happily, you close your eyes. Beels cuddles making all your stress melt away, just like they always did. Slowly, you start to drift off, listening to the soft scratch of his pen as he starts to work and his deep breathing, letting it lull you into sleep.
I dont know why my brain wanted me to got all out on this. I literally jus couldn't stop tweaking with it. Imma post if before i decide to change it. Imma just conveniently forget i wrote this now, maybe ill like it more after a week or two... :/ also if theres any spelling or grammar issues plz tell me, its like 2am rn so im sure i missed something
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me!#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me shall we date#soft#this is an entirely self indulgent writing#im not even ashamed#everyone needs beels cuddles in my opinion#also this is my first fanfic(?) ive ever posted#👉👈 imma b sad if other people dont also just wanna cuddle with beel#ack- im kinda nervous now#i just started writing cuz i was bored#no way in hell am i just gonna delete it either#obey me fanfic#beel headcanon#(?) im not good with tags#like at all#lmao
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Plum Sized
Part 1: Congratulations Part 2: Im having your baby
The next few weeks had gone by in a blur. Harry had left again to do some more writing, promising he would be back for your next ultrasound and doctors appointment. Luke was still getting over the fact that you had just let Harry back into your life like that, but since Harry hadn't really been around much he was warming back up to the idea a little bit more and had started coming over more, specifically in the mornings which had been really hard for you. You had woken up every morning with extreme morning sickness. You couldn't eat for hours, you felt dizzy and threw up multiple times. Certain smells and foods just made you want to vomit at the thought.
You were laying in bed trying to avoid throwing up when Luke walked in with a smile. “Morning beautiful, figured you might still be sick and in bed so I brought you a smoothie. Shouldn't have any weird smells or anything so I thought it might be worth a shot.” He handed you a large smoothie and sat on the edge of the bed. “How are you doing?”
You took the smoothie and thanked him before taking a small sip. It actually tasted amazing and nothing about it so far had made you sick so that was a big plus. “Not too bad....still just so nauseous. I mean the sight of food, the idea of food, it all just makes my stomach turn. I’m also just getting nervous about the appointment. I have to have my blood drawn and then we will probably find out the gender from that and of course it’s Harry’s first time going to an appointment so thats extra pressure because well because its Harry.” you sighed taking another sip and sitting up.
Luke nodded. “Have you heard much from him recently?”
“No...he’s been busy writing I think.” You bit your lip. Truth is after Harry had spent the night, he had waken up and left. You had hoped there might be something left to reconcile but he was really only interested in the baby. He had left the following afternoon even though you had asked him to stay. All you wanted was for him to actually step up, to be there for you the way he said he wanted to be. “He should be coming here tonight so that he doesn't miss the appointment..”
“Well I hope for your sake he does.”
“I’m sure he will but anyways lets talk about something else. What have you been up to? What’s new in your life?”
“Uh not a lot...I do have a date tomorrow though.”
“A DATE?!”
Luke laughed and grinned, “Yeah I met this girl, her name is Kayla and well we really hit it off so I’m taking her out tomorrow for a fun picnic lunch date. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.”
“Im sure it will be, you plan the best dates. So where did the two of you meet?” you played with the styrofoam cup your smoothie was in distractedly as went on about meeting Kayla at a gas station. You wished Harry would plan cute dates, and care more about everything. You wished he would text you good morning and good night or check in throughout the day. You wanted more from a relationship but at the same time...you really only wanted Harry. It was a hard place to be in at the moment. Just thinking about it and how frustrated you were with him made you tear up. You wiped a tear and noticed Luke was looking at you weirdly. “Sorry what?”
“I asked if you were okay....you seem. I don't know...not okay?”
You laughed and wiped another tear away. “Yeah, I’m fine just been thinking.”
He nodded unsure but was willing to let it go for your sake. “Well I have to go get ready for work, but enjoy the smoothie and text me later to let me know you are okay and all good. Promise?”
“Promise. Thank you for the smoothie..You really are the best friend a girl could have.”
“I try” he squeezed your hand and then walked out, leaving you to your thoughts.
After a few hours of lounging around you decided to get up and be productive. You threw on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt and froze when you looked in the mirror. Your stomach had definitely grown, and a small baby bump was definitely visible. You light touched your stomach and smiled. It was all startling to feel real. You got to work, cleaning almost every room of your house and by the end everything was spotless and beautiful. You felt good. There was just something about a clean house that cleared your mind. It was almost 4:00 pm by the time everything was finished and you still hadn't heard from Harry. He was supposed to come home tonight so that he could take you to your appointment in the morning. *Hey, how's writing going? Think youre going to make it home for the appointment tomorrow?* you texted him. You sat waiting for a reply but when it didnt immediately come you decided to start on dinner. Tonight you were going to be making spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread, nothing too fancy but still delicious. You were boiling the water and buttering bread when your phone buzzed. Harry’s face was on the screen so you quickly answered it. “Hey!” you said cheerfully.
“Hey love, look I’m in the middle of a song right now and I don't want to stop so I don't think I’m going to make it tomorrow.”
Your heart sank and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “But Harry this is a really important appointment. This is where we-”
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be at the next one I swear.”
You didn’t even answer, just hung up the phone and went back to cooking. The whole night was spent thinking about Harry. How couldn't he want to be there? Why was writing more important than his family? Did he even care at all? You were frustrated, upset, hurt, and confused. None of it made sense. Harry always said that he wanted kids and he wanted to be the dad that was there at every moment. Yet here he was not even caring to show up and you were done with it. *Good luck writing. Don't bother in calling me anymore I think our baby will be better off without you in its life* you know it was a long shot, something meant to dig at him but you didnt care. You were done with letting Harry hurt you again. You were sitting on the floor crying when Luke walked in carrying two suits.
“Hey which should I wear- Are you okay?” he immediately knelt down, dropping the suits and rubbing your shoulders. “(y/n) are you okay?” You shook your head no. Luke got more worried. He tried scooping you into his arms. “Are you hurt? What happened?”
“No.” you wiped your face and let out a shaky breath. “I think I just broke up with Harry again.”
Luke froze trying to decide what to say. He decided to play it safe, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault, its not mine, its his. He just doesn't care.”
“He will one day, it just sucks he doesn't realize it now.” you nodded leaning into him. “So youre going alone tomorrow?”
You nodded again. “I’ll be okay.”
He sighed, “no. You shouldn't go through all of this alone. I’ll go. I’ll take you.”
“But your date..”
“I’ll reschedule. I have a friend in need.” You smiled and wiped your tears.
“Can I still pick out the outfit you wear?” Luke laughed and nodded standing up and then pulling you to your feet.
“Of course.” He looked at you and gave you a look.
“What?”
“Your belly...its like actually bigger.”
“Well I do have a baby inside me that grows everyday.” You laughed. “Today, at 12 weeks, the baby is the size of a plum.”
“A plum? How do you know that?”
“I have an app that tells me its size according to fruits every week.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes, “A plum. Who would've guessed.”
You laughed instantly feeling better. You held up the two suits and smiled. “The grey one. It brings out your eyes.” You smiled and handed it to him.
“That was a quick decision.”
“I’ve been your friend for forever. I know what you look good in.”
The rest of the night was spent lounging around. Luke had gone home, promising to pick you up for your appointment and you still hadn't gotten a response from Harry. You weren't really expecting one, but you had hoped he would say something. You decided turning in early was a good idea so you threw on Harry’s old t-shirt, the one you slept in every night and jumped into bed. You were exhausted so falling asleep was easy. You had awoken to the sound of the door opening. You laid in bed listening for other sounds but didnt hear anything. You covered your head with the blanket and tried thinking to if you had imagined it or not. Then you heard footsteps walking up the stairs. You panicked. You didnt know what to do. You grabbed your phone and looked for something you could attack an intruder with. The footsteps were getting closer and your heart was racing. The door opened and you were ready to dial 911. “(y/n)?” Harry’s voice whispered. You breathed out and turned on a light next to the bed.
“Harry what the hell!” you screamed. “I thought you were a robber or murderer or something. You cant do that!”
Harry walked in and smiled holding out a giant bouquet of flowers. “I’m sorry...I didnt mean to scare you but I also didnt want to wake you if you were sleeping.”
“What are you doing here.”
He sighed and walked to the bed sitting down next to you on the edge. “I came to apologize. I haven't been a good dad lately. I haven't even been good to you. I got so distracted trying to please the fans with this next album that I was forgetting what's more important. My family. I know I don't deserve forgiveness. I know I promised you I would be here and be present and then I wasnt but this time I will be. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for this little one.” He touched your belly and smiled. “Im done writing for now. At least leaving to write. I want to be here, with you, as much as possible. I want us to work on whatever this is and to experience all the baby stuff together.”
“Harry-”
“Please (y/n)....give me one more chance...I promise not to screw it up.” He placed his head down by your stomach and your fingers immediately went to his hair. You sighed and he looked up.
“Fine. One more chance but if you screw this up Harry you won't be in my life or the baby’s.”
“Trust me love, I won't screw it up again.” He kissed your forehead and set the flowers on the nightstand. He then stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He pulled you against his chest and trailed fingers down your belly. “Did you know that the baby is the size of a plum today. Like an actual plum, isn't that crazy?”
You laughed and turned towards him. You touched your nose to his and smiled. He kissed you softly and smiled back. “I’m glad youre here Haz” you snuggled into him and he held on tightly.
“Me too.” He rubbed your back until you fell asleep and part of you expected him to be gone when you woke up. Just a dream. An imagination. But when your alarm went off and your eyes opened, you were snuggled against his chest, his body gently snoring like the angel he was. You rolled over and snoozed the alarm before returning to him. You traced his butterfly tattoo until he cracked his eyes open with a smile. “Morning.” he whispered deeply.
“Morning.” you smiled before climbing out of bed.
“Where are you going” he groaned sitting up in the white comforter. “Im exhausted...cant we stay in bed a little longer.”
You walked over to his side, knelt down and kissed his nose. “We have an appointment so get up and get ready.” You smiled and stretched. Harry jumped out of bed and froze watching you. “Whats wrong?”
“Your belly...I can actually see the plum size. That is so cool.” “Wait until you see the baby at the appointment.” you smiled walking into his embrace. “We should be able to see actual features today. It won't be just a blob anymore.”
You were getting ready and so was Harry, except he was pretty much done. He was in his black skinny jeans, a tshirt and a sweater vest. “Do I look like a dad?”
You laughed and nodded. “You look like a hot dad though.” He grinned and kissed you about to respond when the doorbell rang. “Can you get that, its probably Luke.”
“Luke?”
“Yeah he's coming today too.”
“Great...” Harry mumbled walking downstairs to answer the door. You finished throwing your hair in a pony tail and picked one of Harry’s smaller shirts, the one with his album title along a heart with his name, before running downstairs. Luke and Harry were just staring, no glaring at each other.
“Hey” you smiled hugging Luke. “Ready to go?” Harry and Luke nodded and you followed them outside.
“Whats the deal?” Luke harshly whispered, grabbing your arm and pulling you back.
“What?” you played innocently.
“Why is he here?”
“He’s the dad Luke..”
“Yeah but I thought you were done with him.”
“I was...but I feel like I owe it to the baby to give him another chance. He showed up last night and promised to be here. I’m not just going to say no Luke.”
Luke rolled his eyes and you pulled your arm from his grip to catch up to Harry. He smiled and grabbed your hand. “Ready to see our little baby love?”
You nodded and climbed into the car. Harry decided he wanted to drive so Luke jumped in the backseat. The car ride there was silent, no one really talking but when we got to the waiting room you told Harry to check you in so you could run to the bathroom. The nurse was waiting with the two guys and you followed her in. She retook your weight, stating that you had gained a little which was normal. She then took all three of you into a room where you changed into a gown and waited. Harry was anxiously pacing the room and Luke was just glaring at Harry when the doctor walked in. “(y/n) so nice to see you again, are you ready to see the baby?” You nodded as he looked to the two guys. “Who do we have here today?” he asked. Harry stepped forward and extended his hand.
“I’m Harry, its a pleasure to meet you.” he smiled and gave you a reassuring wink.
“Harry is the dad.” you added looking at the doctor. He nodded and smiled.
“Its nice to meet you Harry. And you?” he looked over at Luke.
“Oh, I’m Luke. I’m (y/n)’s friend.”
“Nice to meet you too. Alright lets see what we got here. He turned the lights lower and squirted the cold gel on your stomach earning a surprised look from Harry which made you laugh. “Have you been having any symptoms?”
“Yeah I’ve had morning sickness quite a bit lately.”
“Ah, thats a normal but unfortunate one.” He was scrolling around your stomach looking for the baby. “Has it been manageable?”
“Yeah its not been too terrible, I’m still feeling good most of the day.”
“Good thats what we want. Ah here it is...” Harry grabbed your hand and smiled looking at the screen. “So you can see here is the head, the butt, an arm, a leg, everything seems to be there. Let’s see if we cant get the heartbeat.” Luke looked a little sick but smiled when you looked at him and Harry was in awe.
“I think she looks like you..”
“How do you know its a she?” you asked surprised.
“I just feel like its going to be.”
“I feel like its going to be a boy, and I think he looks like you.” Harry smiled shaking his head. He was about to respond when you heard the familiar thump thump thump of a heartbeat. Harry had tears falling down his cheek. You smiled and wiped them away.
“That’s amazing.” he looked at the doctor with a smile. “Thank you for showing us that.”
The doctor nodded, flipping the light back on and handing you a towel to wipe your stomach. “Okay, you look good the baby looks good but we do want to do a blood test..From this you can find out the gender if you like.”
“Yes.” You said and looked at Harry.
“I think we should wait...let it be a surprise.” Harry said looking at you.
“Harry its not your decision.” Luke intervened.
“Its my baby too. I think we should wait.” He said pointedly at Luke.
“It should be (y/n)s decision. She's the one carrying it.”
“Well I think we both would have fun waiting.” Harry looked at you and you looked down.
“You haven't even been here. You don't have a say in it.”
“Luke,” you cut him off. “It is Harry’s baby too. He's the one here now and thats all that matters. Why don't we wait now and we can always decide later to look.”
Harry smiled and nodded at you, then glared at Luke. Luke just rolled his eyes. “whatever.” The doctor took your blood, explaining that it would also test for some genetic defects and diseases and that you would receive a call in the next few days with the results. You held Harry’s hand the whole time while talking to Luke so luckily you did not faint. Harry helped you to your feet, and held onto you to make sure you weren't going to drop back at any notice. You smiled and gave him a reassuring kiss. He let you go a little but still tightly held your hand. You set up another appointment and then walked out with your guys. Harry opened the car door for you and Luke climbed in the back seat. After ensuring you were buckled the three of you drove home. Luke left without saying a word and Harry rolled his eyes.
“What an asshole.”
You lightly smacked his arm and smiled. “He will come around. Trust me.”
Harry’s only response was a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, we need to go by my place and pick up some stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“Like all of it.”
“Why?”
“Well I figured we should probably live together so I can help out with everything..” Your mouth dropped open. “Unless thats not okay...” he added concerned he had overstepped.
“No. No I would love that...I just didnt think thats what you would want.”
“(y/n) I know the last few months have been rocky with us but I want to be here all the time with you. I love you and I want us to make things work. If me being here to help, mends that? I’ll never leave the house again.” He kissed your softly and you smiled.
“I love you Haz.”
“I love you too love.”
---
Part 3 of the pregnancy series, hope you guys like it :) There wasnt a lot of action in this chapter but just wait for the next ;)
xoxo
#one direction#directioners#one direction fanfiction#one direction imagines#Harry Styles#harrystyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines
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Zukka Soulmate AU part 9
@mypureessence
@chaoticidiott
@ari-shipping-stuff
@knightedbot
@idkhowbutimgayer
@swampy-beans
@angrylittleintrovert
Kurt was only out for about 15 minutes but that was long enough for Tarren and Fin to get him to the back on one of the spare cots. The gaang besides Iroh and Jee stayed to see how things went down, all gathered in the room reading maps and planning their trip while Lily paced back and forth muttering to herself before she threw her hands in the air
"Why wouldnt he tell us!?" She shouted
"I dont know Lily" Tarren said while he dabbed a cold towel on Kurt's forhead
"I mean, he could see the scars the three of us share! Why... why wouldnt he say anything!?"
"I'm sure he had a good reason Lily, I mean, how did you guys even know you had a third soulmate?" Katara asked with a small tilt to her head.
The duo both placed their hands to their chests instinctively. "Well, we didn't always know, but one day we both collapsed in the middle of a shift,"
[Flashback when? Flashback now!]
"Of course Miss Jin, Grey with honey and two sugars at 3 pm sharp just like every other Friday" Lily smiled while handing the girl her cup of tea she made for her at the exact same time every single friday evening. Jin was a favorite.
"How are you and Tarren?" Jin asked with a smile which made Lily blush
"Hah. We're doing alr-" suddenly Lily lost her breath from a blunt pain in her chest. "Tarren" she wheeled out just before letting out a yelp and clutching her chest "Tarren!"
"Lily!" Tarren's voice called out from the other sid of the Library followed by the sound of scrolls falling to the ground
The two scrambled to eachother with Jin following Lily and Fin rushing out from the back with paperwork to see what was happening. The pair crashed into eachother and held onto the others arms "what happened?" Lily cried out "whats going on. It burns, oh Gods it burns Tarren"
"I- I dont know" Tarren when to unclip his uniform, shucking off the top shirt before ripping the underdress to reveal painful bubbling skin in the shape of a hand and spreading across his chest and up to his neck down past where he managed to rip down to.
"There's a third" Jin said with a gasp
"Whoever they are theyre in trouble" Fin said bluntly while turning to Jin "Jin do you mind running to get the medic? I have to stay with them and they can't move" he gestured to their shivering crying forms.
"Are they dying?" Lily managed to wheeze out between sobs of pain
"No, this isnt direct, its just an- oh right" he nearly forgot that Lily watched her parents killed in a similar way "Lily, trust me, the third in the trio is not dying, they're being hurt, but they aren't dying"
Lily nodded, the pain lasted for a good 20 minutes before slowly dying down and feeling like it was being treated on all ends.
[Flashback over]
Katara gave a small frown "I wonder what happened to him"
"Ill tell you if you help me sit up" Kurt said with a small cough. Sokka who had been sitting near him but was lost in a map with Zuko looked up
"Oh, the munchkin awakens!"
"The... what?" Kurt laughed out
"Ignore him, he's stupid sometimes" Katara said as she helped Kurt sit up and put a pillow behind his back. "How did you get burned if you dont mind me asking?
Kurt gave a sigh and looked to Sokka and Zuko "well, honestly its probably a similar story to mr princey over there"
Zuko tensed "how do you know who I am... and you don't know how I got this"
"I do" Aang said with his hand raised "well, kinda, I think it was your da- mphf!" Zuko shut Aang up with his hands on his mouth
"Shut up, now is not about me or how I got my scar, its about short stack over there"
"Shortstack!? Okay, now that was just rude. But I got this burn from my dad, he wasn't great and had no position to even justify his abuse against me and my mom." He brought his hand to his necklace with a small frown
"He caught me hanging out by a small pond with an earth boy named Haru and was convinced I was a traitor for doing so. He lectured be when he got me home by slamming me against the door and burning me"
he looked up to Tarren and Lily "I didn't tell you, and I always hid my scar because I'm scared hes going to find me again, after he left for the war my mom fell ill and died, so I ran away to my Pappy and he's sick right now so I don't know how long I have with his protection." He gave a sigh "I dont want him to find me and know that you two are my soulmates because he'll hurt you to get to me. And I cant let you get hurt..."
Lily put her hand on her chest with a frown "I'm sorry Kurt, I had no idea. But now that we know I hope you understand we won't let anyone hurt you or us."
"And that includes me" Fin said from the doorway "you've got two master earthbenders and a vigilante assassin on your side now"
"Woah, woah, vigilante assassin?" Toph piped up "Lily is an assassin!? That's so cool!" She marched right up to her and jabbed her finger in her direction "I dont know you too much but I do know that I like you!"
Lily flushed a bright red and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly "hah, thanks? Wait are you a beifong?"
"Sure am!"
"I didnt know the beifongs had a daughter, let alone a daughter teaching the avatar earthbending" Lily said with a smile
"Yeah, well they didn't think I was strong enough because I cant read" Toph gave a shrug
"I could teach you sometime" Lily offered
"Im blind missy" Toph said with a cackle
"I know" Lily giggled "We have Braille books, I can teach you to read braille if you want to"
"Braille?"
"Instead of ink on the pages there are raised dots in patterns to make the letters, numbers and words, Fin and his wife managed to invent it ten years ago because Fin's best friend is blind and he wanted to send him letters, but it isn't too popular yet sadly"
Toph stood there for a moment before saying anything "wait... are you telling me there's a way I can read?"
"Yeah! Its more commonly on paper but Tarren and Fin use earthbending to write it out much faster on stone tablets, its much less wasteful. But for nonbenders like myself thats not really an option, so I write with the paper and the pressing tools."
Sokka piped into the conversation with a quick jump to his feet "can you teach me too? I want to know how to write in a way that she can read" he had a determined look on his face and sound in his voice that caught everyone off guard
"I... didnt realize you cared?" Katara said with a confused look
"Of course I care Katara! I probably care too much sometimes, I care about every single one of you," he looked around "did... did you really think I didnt care?"
Aang looked at Katara and then at Sokka "she probably only thought that because you show care differently than her, I know you care, I mean you've managed to keep us all together and solve our problems, youre a uh... solve it kinda care... if thats a type"
Everyone looked at Aang befote Lily gave a small laugh "you sound like Fin, he's really caring for sure but you have to understand him to notice his love language." Lily paused "but teaching you both will take a while, even just teaching Toph here, who I assume has never been taught anything about letters and words on pages. I'm guessing you lot are traveling to stop the war?"
"You bet!" Aang said with a cheeky grin
"Well you could easily travel with them and teach them all, you and Tarren both" Kurt suggested
"Im not going anywhere without you" Lily said whil jabbing a finger towards him and leaning down close to him "I promised to protect you, and I will"
"Then how about you all come with us! We can all learn braille! I mean I'm already teaching Aang waterbending, Toph is teaching Aang earthbending. And hopefully Zuko and Iroh will teach him firebending so a new writing language should be good for all of us!" Katara said with excitement clear in her voice
It only took a bit of convincing to have Kurt join but it took a good 20 minutes worth of convincing Fin to let Tarren and Lily travel around while Fin ran the library with the help of Jin who stepped up to take over the pairs roles in the library.
But before leaving Lily showed Sokka the braille pressing tools so he could get a quick idea of the way they worked before packing up a good amount of paper and tools so she could teach them. On the road. Tarren would help Toph with hers for stone given they're both earthbenders.
Once they started packing up their own belongings Toph walked into Lily's room with a small knock "hey, you almost ready petty steps?"
"Pretty steps? Uh, yeah I just have to find a good place to put this" she moved her hand a bit with a wooden mask facing up
"What is that?"
"Its my assassin mask, its got a white base, think warm wind. Two black marks, think of cold night ponds stretching from the side tips of her nose, above the brow bone and getting much thicker before going up and becoming two horns. The eye holes and the lips are both dark red, think of the warmth of a summer evening sunset."
Toph stood in the doorway "I didnt need the description but that kind of makes colors interesting"
"Really?"
"No"
The two laughed at the bluntness but then Lily shrugged "I guess your right, I didnt need to describe it, but I wanted to anyways" she held the mask for a second before packing it away "it's from my sisters favorite spirit fable. 'Lady of the sunset pond' she had my mama read it to us every night" Lily reached to her necklace and held the roght ash stone.
"Sounds like they hold a special place to you"
"Yeah, they do"
"What happened to them?" Toph asked while leaning against the wall
"We don't have the time to unwrap another story today" Lily gave a small laugh while she set her bag down "besides I need to change before we go, can't leave in a work uniform you know, not really meant for traveling" she moved towards Toph and gave a small bow "thank you for accepting to learn braille from me"
Toph smiled shortly but then punched Lily's arm earning a confused 'ow' to which she responded "thats how I show affection"
"Ah, thats an interesting way to show it" Lily laughed "now I best be getting changed, mind stepping out? I know you see with earthbending, I've seen Tarren train without sight before so I can recognize it"
Toph laughed and stepped out "whatever Pretty steps"
Once everyone was changed and packed they all let on loading up Appa and preparing to fly to the next place. The ragtag group of 4 traumatized kids was suddenly a ragtag group of 8 traumatized kids and 2 wise old men traveling on a flying bison with a small mischievous lemur. What a busy two days huh?
#avatar the last airbender#avatar: the last airbender#prince zuko#zuko#atla zuko#atla oc#atla sokka#sokka#zukka#i will die on my endless soulmate au hill#soulmate alternate universe#soulmates#soulmarks#soulmate#RayMakesSoulmates#AnkleBiterKurt#firebender oc#firebender#earthbender oc#earthbending#nonbender
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cruel summer; tom holland
heya y’all im back after a heckin long break
this is the second instalment to my lover series (do not have to be read in order)
lover masterlist
masterlist
just gonna tag a couple of people bc it has been forever
@plushparker @hollandroos @spiderrrling @kiwispideys @hey-its-grey @yikesdin @princepeteys
-
‘If I had to date any of the characters in Far From Home, I’d have to date Ned because he’s so respectful to Betty. Every woman wants to be treated with respect and Ned could do that.’ You smiled at the interviewer and then turned your head to the side when you heard Jacob’s laughter.
‘Y/N, I’d date your character too.’ He smiled.
Everyone in the room laughed.
You were surrounded by cameras for an interview you were doing along with the rest of the Spider-Man movie cast. Zendaya, Jacob, Tom and Jake were all seated beside you.
‘Excuse me Y/N, but what about Mysterio?’ Jake chuckled.
‘I don’t know, I don’t think my character would, what’s the word? Ah, appreciate all of Beck’s decisions.’ Your friends all laughed at your choice of word.
However, all of the people surrounding you knew which fictional character you would choose to date, but the two of you had to play it safe.
‘Jake,’ Tom started. ‘What about us? I thought we had something going on?’ Tom said with a pout, pointing between him and his friend.
‘I have nothing to say Tom, nothing.’ Jake laughed as he crossed his legs.
Tom continued pouting in his seat while the rest of you laughed.
‘I’d have to agree with Y/N though, I would happily date Ned because I respect a guy with a good hat and who cares for his friends.’ Zendaya added.
You smiled at her gave a small laugh.
‘Well thank you for joining us guys and remember viewers, go see Spider-Man Far From Home in cinemas now!’ The interviewer signed off.
The cameras turned off and the interviewer thanked you and you all replied and smiled back. Then you all sat up and were all going to go back to your hotels after a long day of press.
You jumped into the big black SUV with Tom by your side and everyone went to their other hotels.
You sat next to the brown-haired boy and linked your fingers with his.
‘You know that I’d only date Peter Parker, right?’ You whispered, your head on his shoulder.
‘Of course, darling. One day we’ll be okay to say it to the world.’ Tom smiled and kissed your head as you two were driven back to the place you were staying.
-
Tom and you had been dating for a few months now, and you were still in the same ‘honeymoon phase’ as you were when you first started dating. Every touch, every time kiss your stomach still did flips.
The idea of revealing your relationship to the world was scary. You wanted to be ‘lovey-dovey’ with your boyfriend in interviews, hold his hand, but you were nervous.
You didn’t know how the world would take it.
The two of you were private people. You weren’t about to scream to the world that you were together, but you wanted the world to know that you were together.
There’s a difference.
For the first month it was quick kisses and secret rendezvous because you wanted to stay young. You both wanted to feel like teenagers, sneaking around and get high off adrenaline. The two of you knew that the high wasn’t going to last forever.
Then by the second month the two of you were still the same, but it was annoying when the two of you couldn’t go down to the local café, just a couple of streets down from Tom’s place on a Wednesday morning for a cup of coffee. You two would ‘accidentally’ run into one another down the hall with the blue light from the vending machine, but then return to his room with many snacks to eat while watching some stupid romcoms.
It was the simple things you two wanted.
-
The promo tour for Far From Home was happening during the summer, and as the days past, you just wanted a day off with Tom to sleep and maybe go out for a lunch date. You were also sick of having to meet late at night, outside the hotel, or having to sneak into one another’s hotel rooms to cuddle together.
It was a rare night off, so a small group of you decided to head out and have a couple of drinks.
Tom, Zendaya, Jacob, Jake and you were all in one big SUV heading to the bar just on the outskirts of the city.
You were having a rough day, you were aware of that, and you didn’t really want to go out that night, but you wanted to spend time with Tom. Interviews after interviews meant that there was less time to hang out with one another and the constant activity made you tired along with the early starts.
It was just a couple more weeks of interviews. You could get through this.
-
You all sat around a table and you had a glass of some alcohol drink in your hand while Tom next to you had a beer in his. Your drink was somewhat fruity but even though you knew you shouldn’t have let alcohol touch your lips that night, you just needed a night off after working.
The five of you laughed at one another’s jokes, funny memories on set while filming and stupid moments during the interviews.
All the memories were funny, but your tiredness mixed with the liquor made it hard to laugh sometimes or you’d cackle at just about everything being said.
About an hour later (along with a couple of drinks), you were gone, and Tom could tell, but so could everyone else at the table.
Tom decided that right now, in the middle of press interviews was not a good time for you to have photos taken of you drunk.
‘I’m gonna take Y/N home now because she seems a little drunk.’ Tom said. There was a light tone of humour in his voice, but he wanted to take you back to the hotel to look after you.
Zendaya, Jake and Jacob all nodded in agreeance.
‘Look after her mate and make sure she’s all good for the Buzzfeed interview tomorrow.’ Jake laughed.
Tom stuck his middle finger up as his reply and you heard a chorus of laughter as you stumbled out of the building.
You both climbed into the car that was waiting outside for you both and sat in silence for a couple of moments while the car went down the busy avenue.
You desperately wanted to lean onto your boyfriend’s shoulder and nap. Even though it was just one other person in the car other than you two, you didn’t know who the uber driver was.
Better safe than sorry.
Your need for sleep, the fruity drink and you missing Tom caused a tear to fall down your cheek, and soon enough you couldn’t stop.
‘Y/N, are you alright?’ Tom asked, worried.
You choked out a reply of ‘I’m fine.’
‘Y/N, what’s wrong?’ Tom questioned again, wanting to know what was wrong with you.
‘I said I’m fine.’ You replied, a little forcefully.
You didn’t want to talk about this when you were in this state. You were too tired, too drunk and you were going to full on sob if you had to talk about it in the back of the car.
Tom put his head out over the middle of the seat for you to hold, and even though you noticed it, you ignored it.
As much as you wanted to feel Tom’s hand, and be in his arms, it would have been too much.
This was like the build-up of everything from the past five months and it hurt, because you hadn’t seen Tom like this. You knew that not spending as much time with him was tough, but you never saw him express it.
Then the wall crashed, and the tears started to flow. You felt Tom move next to you and put his arms around you.
‘Hey love, what’s wrong? You can talk to me baby. What’s up?’ Tom questioned, worried.
You were a blubbering mess and you could feel the effect of the alcohol in your head and the words tumbled out.
‘I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.’
You felt Tom’s arms tighten around your body and you buried your heart into his chest.
‘Just- goddamnit Tom. For whatever it’s worth, I love you.’ You said.
Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard.
‘Baby, I love you too. Of course, I do. I know this has been hard but for now, let’s get you upstairs.’ Tom replied.
You hadn’t realised that you had pulled up in front of the hotel and Tom held your hand as you walked in through the front door and directed you to the elevator.
Whether there were any photos released the next morning, neither of you cared in that moment.
You both loved each other and you both knew that keeping your relationship a secret was affecting both of you.
So that night the two of you laid in your hotel room, blankets covering you as you both whispered sweet nothings into one another ears.
Everything will be alright.
#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagines#tom holland fanfic#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland#marvel#marvel imagines#lover#taylor swift#spider-man
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Startstruck
Cw:food
Summary:jerico travels to China for a job,the Town shes staying at seemed familiar,almost too much. Why does she feel shes seen it somewhere?.
Part 2
It was a rainy Day.
Jerico stepped Into the streets of the town she was going to stay in.
"What a way to welcome me" she thought pulling the hood of her raincoat closer to her head.
Grabbing her bags she took a cab to her appartment, her things, Like furniture,were there, though not mounted.
The job was worth it, but moving to another country AND having to mount all the tables,sofas,and shelves, well, she didnt like it.
But,nothing hardwork cant fix.
Collapsing on the sofá she groans looking at the time. 12 am already?.
She was too tired to Cook.
Grabbing her backpack she went to look for somewhere to eat.
It all seemed so familiar,where did she saw all of this?.
She couldnt recall, but jeri had to admit that the place was scenic And beautiful.
The rain Lessened, now only grey clouds and a soft breeze remained.
-- hear ye hear ye!-- an old Man said behind a wooden theather-- a long time ago,humans depended of the gods to guard them...--the story catched Jers attention, she sat on the stools,leaning in-- of course humans could become gods too, the road was hard, but of course, for some the road was barren...
But gods could also sprawn from the hearts of humans, that is the case of the guardian brothers, yu lei and shen tu...
Those names make jerico freeze in her spot,the puppets looked just like two characters of a movie she saw just before she took the plane.
She gulped, bouncing her leg-- mount dushou is theirs to guard, and with their faces on display, evil and harm is kept at bay they are the door
But just like me and you,inmortals have troubles too..
Change--
The scenery started to shake as the puppets move frantically, the atmosphere thickens when a thunder struck the Sky--who here has door god posters in their homes?
The old Man telling the story gets out of the box to find only jer staring in amusement.
-- ah young Lady, Anything I can help you with?
Jeri stepped closer holding onto the straps of her backpack-- it all seems so familiar,what else can you tell me about the door gods?
The old Man sat with her-- well, they are powerfull,shen tu is a kind spirit like his brother,who has a temper...
I meet them once, yu lei is always up to do the right thing, but something tells me theres more to that question, miss...
She giggled-- you caught me,do these gods really exist?
The old Man smiled-- im sure youll find out...
He said his goodbyes and jerico sighed and Walked again.
Somewhere there should be a soup store around, oh shed kill for a good soup right now
And well, fate was being too coincidential that day.
--This shop-- she whispered-- looks like the one in the movie...-- she froze when a girl popped out of the Doors.
-- come in! Its cold!--She said opening the door-- im raindrop
--Hello raindrop, im jerico, nice to meet you!--She smiles entering the soup shop, looking at the posters on the front door, sighing a bit in love as she sees yu leis poster.
Howd she know? Well, they were the same that in the movie of course!.
Jerico had various weird things happend to her in her life, well, might as well enjoy this coincidence, if you can call all this that.
She sat by the Window watching the rain that fell as soon as she stepped in.
The cold breeze felt cozy.
She ordered her food and sat there tapping the wooden table, humming to herself.
She started to think as the water in the River infront of her rippled with the rain.
This town was just like the one in the movie, the soup shop and raindrop? The same.
Well, who knows, maybe this is Real,she didnt mind if that meant she got to meet yu lei himself.
She sighed thinking of him, she had a crush, a big one.
Being in love with fictional characters wasnt so out of character, she didnt thought however that she could ever meet one, because to her just before her trip here, it couldnt be possible.
Raindrop took her out of her dream world as she gave her the soup-- you know-- the kid started-- I have a friend who would love to meet you! I think you too could be perfect for eachother!, I should call him!
Jer Turned to her-- well, im New here, I could use some Friends
Rain smiled and ran up to her mom.
Jerico smiled and Ate her food.
She could enjoy this little Fantasy of hers, afterall, whats the worst that could happend?.
After eating she Walked back home, whistling.
--Ah finally home-- jerico said walking into her appartment, today was perfect to rest.
And so thats what she did.
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Beyond The Leather: Chapter 10: First Concert
July 31st, 1985 New York
Paparazzi had been following me everywhere I go. I now had security for my protection. I just finished shooting season two of the TV series I was on. And also finished the filming of the new movie I was in as well. The premiere will be out next year. My face was all over the billboards in New York and LA for the Sports Illustrated Magazine shoot. I was rising higher and higher and my fame was growing. I haven't spoken to Nikki since March and he has not even bothered to call and apologize for the way he treated me at that night club. There Theater of Pain album was released and they started touring. They were in New York today. How I know this.... well because I talk to Vince. And were meeting up for lunch today. Me and Vince have grown closer with each other. Were able to just have casual conversations and enjoy each others company. He's going to pick me up in his limo. I have so much to tell him.
"What are you wearing?" Lisa asks looking up at me from her magazine.
I met Lisa at the Modeling event back in March we became very good friends. Tamara allowed her to come on the New York trip with me on the condition that we stayed out of trouble. She of course agreed. Tamara had her own room right next to us. So she comes in and checks somtimes.
"It's a disguise. I'm meeting up with Vince for lunch and I don't want people seeing us." I put on a base ball cap and dark shades with a trench coat.
"You look ridiculous. And I'm sure people are still going to know it's you and Vince from Motley Crue." Lisa giggled.
"Well worth a try. Alright I'll see you later ok."
"Alright have fun with your boy friend."
"He is not my boyfriend." I sneered.
We met up and drove down to a pizza pizza. We decided to just order that and than go out to find a park to sit at and talk.
"Oh my God I haven't had junk food in a long long long time" I grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza and shoved it into my mouth.
"Ha well I eat junk all the time before I know it I will be overweight."
"No you won't you'll be fine. So what's going on with you?" I ask.
"Well I'm not really enjoying the tour. Nikki and Tommy have been dicks to me. They keep doing drugs and drinking in my face and chewing me out if I even have a drink. I'm so sick of it."
"That's really selfish of them. They should be supporting you. But at least your staying sober so thats a good thing. You have a clear mind."
"Yeah your right." Vince scoffed. "The whole album is shit. There are like two songs which are Smokin In The Boys Room and Home Sweet Home that are good. Everything else is bullshit. I don't even know how people don't see it."
"Im sorry to hear all that. How are the boys doing though?" I asked about the boys but who I mostly meant was Nikki.
"There doing ok. Mick is still crazy, Tommy is actually dating a nice girl Heather Locklear, and Nik-"
"Wait what?" I interrupted Vince.
"Yeah Tommy's dating Heather Locklear. I know its weird but honestly she really likes him."
This was shocking because Heather is a good girl like me and she's going to date a bad boy like Tommy.
"Wow this is shocking. I wouldn't have thought that she would want someone like Tommy." I stated.
"Guess you cant help who you like."
Yeah I guess you cant.
"So hows Nikki doing? You know he hasn't apologized for how he treated me at the Hollywood Palace in March."
"Well Niks uh Niks dating some girl named Nicole. She's some yuppie actress in the making." Vince says scratching his head.
I can't beleive this pig. After every thing that he has done to me he goes out and gets some other girl to be his girlfriend. He doesn't even call me to say he's sorry for what he did to me. And no im not jealous I'm just mad. Really mad.
"Oh, well good for... good for him." Is all that I could say.
"Iman remember he's not good for you. And to tell you the truth that girl Nicole is probably just Nikki's drug buddy."
"Yeah probably." I say with a low voice.
"But anyways what's new with you?"
"Well next month I'll be on the cover of Bazzars Fashion magazine. Well not just the cover the whole magazine. It will be about me. And then in September I'm walking my first runway. And it's all happening here in New York!" I screamed.
"Wow that's great Mani good for you. I would love to come."
"You just want to see the models Vince. You dont care about me at all."
"What?" Vince says with a pretend shocked voice. "I do too care about you. But I would also like to see the models." He laughs.
We finished eating and the limo dropped me back to my hotel. "Hey seeing as your still going to be here in August. We will be coming back to New York August 14 and we will be having a show at Madison Square Garden. You should come watch us. You have never seen us live. And this show is going to kick ass." He smiled.
"I'd love to Vince but Nikki- "
"Don't worry about Sixx he wont give you any trouble. I promise." Vince assured me.
"Ok, I will." I smiled.
I came up stairs and dropped my things and myself on the couch. I don't know why I agreed to go to that show. I should have said no. It will be awkward going if I had to see Nikki. But either way I will be in the audience and he will be on stage. There's no way he will see me. __________
Wednesday August 14, 1985 New York, Madison Square Garden
I put on a grey short dress with white tennis shoes and pink lip stick. I had my curled my hair to make it look fuller. I was into looking good especially because it made me feel good. Vince got two tickets for me because I told him I wanted to bring a friend. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Excited because I have never seen Motley Crue play at a concert before. And nervous because I would see Nikki. But to be honest I don't care much for him especially because he didn't apologize. We told Tamara that we were going to take a walk around town and she said it was alright.
"Do I look alright?" I looked over at Lisa who had two lines underneath her eyes like Nikki. She was a big Motley fan and a bigger Nikki fan. I never told her about the problems I had with Nikki. I wanted her to go to the show and just enjoy it without having any judgement.
"You look awesome. Alright we should get going the limo it will be here soon." I said.
We arrived at Madison Square Garden. It was complete anarchy out here. The paparazzi were going wild, the girls were half naked, and the fans were screaming out of there minds. It was total chaos. The chauffeur opened the door and security came to escort me and Lisa in.
"Is that Iman Darlington?" One reporter said. All of a sudden hundreds of reporters and paparazzi ran towards me snapping there cameras in my face as well as holding a microphone up to my face asking me several questions.
"Miss Darlington are you here for Nikki?" The reporter ask trying to shove pass security.
The security pushed the reporters back and got us in. "Oh my that was a lot." Lisa giggled.
"I know." I laughed.
We were escorted down the hall to the right side of the stage where we saw a big chubby guy with brown slick back hair standing there.
"Ah Miss Darlington right?" He held is hand out for me to shake.
"Hi yes." I shook his hand. "And you can call me Iman no need for the formalities." I smiled.
"Alright sounds good. I'm Doc Mcghee manager of Motley Crue."
"Its nice to meet you Doc. Oh this is my friend Lisa she's a model like me." I say pulling Lisa forward.
"Hi nice to meet you." She smiled.
"Alright let's get you girls to your area. I hope you ladies are coming to the after party tonight after the show?" He asked while walking us to our spots.
"Oh uh I dont know we'll see." I said.
We arrived at our spot and now it was just to wait for the show to begin. The crowd behind us were rowdy and jumping all over the place. I was very excited.
"Alright let's pose girl." Lisa brought out her camera and we posed by the stage.
Ladies and Gentlemen from Las Angeles's California, Please Welcome On Stage Motley Cruuuuuuuue!!!!
There was a loud bang and Vince came out jumping on stage with Mick and Nikki behind him. Tommy was hitting the drums with full force and the crowd was going wild. Vince started singing looks that kill.
Now listen up She's razor sharp If she don't get her way She'll slice you apart Now she's a cool, cool black She moves like a cat If you don't get her name Well you might not make it back
She's got the looks that kill, that kill She's got the looks that kill, that kill She's got the look
Me and Lisa were singing along to the song. We were having a blast. I looked at Tommy who was at the back drumming the hell out of the drums. He was honestly gifted because I tried using his drums and I really sucked. Then I turned my attention to Mick. He was spectacular with the rifts of his guitar. Hitting every note like his life depended on it. Then I looked to the front and Vince was singing and dancing around the whole stage. He was a very good hype man. He knew how to get the crowd going and keep them on there toes. And lastly Nikki, there he was jumping around the stage playing his bass. He had so much energy that I didn't even know where he got it from. But where ever it was from he was putting it to good use.
Vince came closer down to us and started singing into the mic. We smiled at him and he looked over at Lisa. I knew instantly he liked her. He sent her a wink and she started blushing. When I looked to the side I could see Nikki had come a bit closer his eyes went wide and his lips parted slightly when he saw me. His breathing even changed. I didn't know what to do when he saw me I froze a bit then looked away. Vince then moved away and went back to dancing on stage.
The show was finally over and I have to admit it was well worth coming. I was not disappointed at all.
"Oh my fucking God did you see that Vince winked at me ahhhhhhh!" She screamed. She started jumping up and down and hitting me at the same time.
"Hi ladies the boys are expecting you back stage now." The security said.
"But we didn't say we were-"
"Yes we did now let's go. Stop being a party pooper." Lisa pushed me to move through the doors leading to the hall of backstage.
We walked down the halls where we saw all the guitars and tech guys putting there stuff away. It was cool to see what happenes after the concerts behind closed doors. We arrived at a door and the security guard knocked on the door. "Yeah what?" It sounded like Tommy yelling. "Miss Darlington is here with her friend. "Oh shit really let her the fuck in!" Tommy yelled again. When we walked in my eyes went wide there were girls, booze, drugs and all the things that made a rock star a rock star. And the Motley boys were still in there stage clothes. They looked very funny.
"Iman fuck girl where have you been?" Tommy yelled running to me and picking me up.
"Woah T bone how are you?" I asked with my feet dangling in the air.
"I'm good dude shit it's been long. Look just cause you and Nikki have problems dosen't mean you should stay away." He stated.
I was alittle embarrassed when he said that, especially because I didn't tell Lisa about Nikki.
"No I've just been busy that's all T- bone. And I heard you have to with Heather Locklear?" I lifted and eyebrow.
"Fuck yeah man she's a good girl looking for a bad guy. I'll have to introduce you to her. But after the tour of course." Tommy said as he bit a beer can open and drank it from the side.
"Hey this is my friend Lisa." I said pulling her up beside me.
"Hey Lisa you love to party?" Tommy asked.
"Depends on what you got." She responded.
"Oh we got everything you need honey." Vince spoke up giving her a devilish grin. He then walked over and gave me a big hug I returned the hug. "Im glad you made it."
"I'm glad I did too the show was fun." I smiled. Then in walked Nikki with two girls on each side of him he looked at me but just walked right passed.
Rude!
"Hey kiddo long time." I turned to see Mick sitting on the chair behind Vince drinking the usual vodka.
"Hey Mick how are you doing?"
"Fucking fantastic." He said.
"So uh I'm gonna take your friend and show her around if you don't mind Mani?" Vince smiled while putting his arm around Lisa's neck.
"Uh sure just dont go too far were not staying long." I say walking over to sit beside Mick.
Tommy was still chatting it up with a bunch of groupies even though he was seeing Heather and Nikki was just making out with a bunch of girls.
"So you and Nikki got into a fight or somthing?" Mick asks looking at me. I cant beleive that Mick dosen't party like these guys. Maybe it's cause he older and more wiser.
"Somthing like that. He was aggressive towards me at the last club we went to. I think I'm just going to stay away from him for now on." I say crossing my legs and looking down.
"That's the smartest idea you can ever have. Nikki is crazy and not in a good way. He's a lost cause and needs some help."
"Well I don't know about the lost cause thing, but I agree with you on the crazy." I laughed.
I noticed that everyone, including the tech guys, the managers, and basically Motley's whole team were doing drugs. So I wasn't surprised that the boys have gotten into it. I thought it was really sad. They are a good band, but the drugs wont let them last long.
"Oh here comes your friend." Mick pointed over to Lisa and Vince walking back.
"Hey girly." She slurred. "Me and Vince had a great time." She smiled.
"I'm sure you did." I chuckled.
"Don't worry I didn't get her completely wasted this is the party before the after party. And that's gonna be big." Vince giggled.
"Uh yeah no were not going to that. This is enough." I said as a matter of fact getting off the chair.
"Oh come on Mani you'll have loads of fun trust me." Vince put his arm around my shoulder.
"Well the way Nikki is looking at me says other wise." I grabbed Vince's chin and directed him to look at Nikki. At this point, Nikki is standing up leaning on the counter with his head tilted back slightly with an unamused look on his face. His hands are in front of his stomach and he looks like he's about to knock someone out. I have to admit he looks good in his stage outfit. He's wearing a white and black outfit with a rose sticking out of the pocket. With his war paint under his eyes. Can he be any hotter.
I yelped when somone grabbed me and picked me up and threw me over they're shoulder. "Ahhh oh my God T- bone put me down!" I yelled.
"Only if you say your coming." He yelled and started swinging me around over his shoulder.
My dress started hiking up and my panties were showing. I started trying to pull them down from behind. Then every one started whistling and laughing it was embarrassing.
"T- bone put me down pl-"
"T- bone put her fucking down now!" Nikki yelled interrupting me.
The whole place went silent with Nikkis loud voice. It was like a grave yard.
"I'm sorry Sixx I was only joking around with her." Tommy said with a low voice putting me down. "Sorry Mani I was only joking."
"I know you were." I giggled. I looked over at Nikki who sat back down and started drinking his jack.
"But for reals you should come it will be fun. Plus I'm sure your friend over here." Tommy grabs Lisa. "Is dying for some fun as well." Lisa stands beside him and smiles. Then Vince comes and smiles beside them too. They looked like fools.
"Pleeeeeeeease." They all say at once.
"Fine. But the moment anything starts going wrong were leaving." I say with a serious voice.
Doc came in and told the boys they had to go back to they're hotels to change for the after party.
"Alright we can send a limo to pick you girls up at 10." T- bone said.
"Sounds great come on Mani we should go get changed too." Lisa smiled.
I looked at Nikki who was staring right back at me. I didn't know if I should walk up to him and say something. But I don't think he wants to talk to me anyways. When he came in he walked right passed me. I'll just leave it alone. "Let's go." I said to Lisa as we walked out.
This night is going to continue on to the next chapter. Hope you guys are enjoying the story.
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Love Like Him
(So this is high key cause of a poem called “When Love Arrives” by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay. Look it up, its good)
Master List
~~
When you were young, you had convinced yourself you knew what love was, what love looked like. Love was blond hair and green eyes. Love was skilled hands playing all your favorite songs on the piano. Love was bright laughter cut off when you walked into the room.
In high school, you tried to convince yourself what love wasn't. Love wasn't leather jackets and ripped jeans. Love wasn't a Rolling Stones shirt left on your bedroom floor when he fled out the window in the morning. Love wasn't steamy windows of a car that was older than both of you.
Love wasn't Im Jaebeom.
It couldn't be.
Love wouldn't do what he did. Love wouldn't ignore you in front of his friends, but give you rides to and from school. Love wouldn't run from your parents or keep things secret. Love would have been there at your Mathletes competitions, celebrated your acceptance into your dream school. But Jaebeom wasn't love.
And you convinced yourself of this.
That's why you left without saying goodbye, even though you saw him, watching you from across the street, as you loaded boxes into your car. You were running away, you couldn't even pretend you weren't, but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.
That's how you landed here, 15 years later. Head of finances for a major entertainment company, worth millions of dollars, no longer wearing sweaters and jeans to everything. You had become who you were meant to be, and yet you still found yourself daydreaming about a leather jacket and a Pontiac Firebird.
“Y/n, I have the statements from this last week, and your mail.” Your assistant announced, knocking on your office door.
“Come in.” The young woman set down the stack of folders and a few envelopes.
“It looks like one of them is from a high school.” She mentioned, “I didn't know you were old enough to have a kid in high school, or that you had kids.”
“I don't. Its probably for the reunion.” You shrugged. You had gotten a few messages from old high school friends asking if you were going.
“Are you going?” You shook your head, tossing the envelope to the side.
“Probably not. It's next weekend and I don't know if I'll have the time off.” She opened her mouth to say something else but you held up a hand to stop her. “Unless its related to these statements, you're welcome to leave.”
“Of course, Y/n.” She bowed, leaving you to your work.
The following day your boss, the CEO, called you into her office the moment you arrived. Your boss was chill, a bit young, maybe only a few years younger than you, and had built the company when she was barely out of high school. She may not have been the oldest in the room, but she commanded respect like she was.
“Y/n,” She started. “I got an email today regarding you.” She started, not giving you time for any small talk. “It says your high school reunion is coming up and I noticed you didn't take any time off.”
“No, I only got the invitation yesterday.” You weren't technically lying.
“Did you want to go?” She asked, bored eyes looking between you and her computer.
“I'm not sure.”
“Well, let me rephrase that, do you want to be paid rather handsomely for giving them a large check?” You stared at her in shock.
“Why-”
“I'm trying to convince someone who went to school there to join us here. He went to school around the same time as you, I believe.”
“Who?”
“Can't tell you, it's classified right now. But I need to know how much we would be able to donate without altering personnel pay. I want both answers by tomorrow evening please.” You nodded, standing to leave.
“What if my answer is no?” She looked up at you, a smirk forming on her lips.
“Something tells me it won't be.”
~~
You hated how right your boss always seemed to be, but here you were, sitting in your old school's parking lot in a car at least twice as good as most of the ones around you. You had chosen to wear something that didn't immediately mark you as rich but most of the people walking into the school were dressed to the nines anyway, so your black and silver dress didn't make you stand out too bad.
“Oh my gosh! Y/n.” You recognized the voice the instant you stepped out of your car, turning to find the once head cheerleader walking towards you with three kids in tow.
“Alex, hey, how are you?” You greeted, letting her kiss both your cheeks.
“I'm amazing, these are my boys, Jasper, William, and little Malachi.” She introduced. “My husband's going to be a little late.” Your heart clenched as you prepared for the next question. “What about you, are you married yet?” You shook your head slightly.
“No, I've been focusing on my job.” You explained, opening your trunk to get the oversized check. She led the way to the gym, and you found yourself looking at all the cars for the Firebird. So far, no luck.
Why did you want to see him so bad? He broke your heart, he's the one who fucked it up. He pretended you weren't anything while sneaking into your room almost every night, so why did you want to see him so bad?
Inside the gym was full of people, and you plastered a smile on your face as people began looking at you. You had expected the stares, but it didn't stop you from trying to hide, walking along the edge of the room to find the current principle. Your cheeks were already burning from shame at the comments. Your dress didn't reveal anything but your bare arms and most of your legs. It wasn't so short you'd pop out if you bent over, you could have worn this to work.
“Damn, who hired her?”
“Dress like that, no way she'd say no.”
“There's no way that's her.” You heard someone say. “She got so hot.”
“She was always beautiful.” The moment you heard his voice a shiver ran up your spine.
“I think she heard you.”
“She did.” You breathed in, calming your nerves, before turning to the source of the voices.
He looked different now, and yet still the same. The stud on the side of his nose still glinted against the lights, but his eyes were warmer now, and his leather jacket had been traded for a grey sweater.
How the tables had turned.
“Miss L/n,” The principal greeted. “Thank you for your donation.” He shook your hand with a grin, which you returned. “The art department will be thanking you for years.”
“Don't worry about it, the company will always support the arts programs.” You explained.
“Let's have a photo?” He asked, pointing to the cameraman waiting.
“Of course.” You held up one end of the check, and he held the other, with his free hand resting on your waist. You smiled through a few photos until his hand slipped down from your waist, gradually going lower. The moment you felt his hand squarely on your butt you stepped away, sending him a harsh glare. “That's enough photos. Have a good night, sir.”
“Damn look at that ass.”
“What a piece on her.”
“How much do you think I'd have to pay to get her for the night?” The comments seemed 10 times louder than they were, but you had had enough. You passed Jaebeom and Jinyoung on the way out, walking so close to them you could smell the cologne he wore.
You made it outside and all the way to the broken wall you used to sit on to hide before the dam broke and your make up was ruined. People sucked, your heart hurt, and despite looking amazing, you felt gross. It didn't help that your dress was sleeveless and the spring night was providing plenty of brisk winds.
Something heavy fell across your shoulders and his cologne invaded your senses.
“Jaebeom.” You greeted blankly, staring at the ground by your feet.
“How'd you know?” He asked, sitting down next to you. He had bulked up a bit since you had seen him last.
“You wear the same cologne.” Silence fell over the two of you, the laughter and music from the gym barely audible.
“Did you get where you wanted to go?” He finally asked, voice barely a whisper.
“I'm head of finances for an entertainment company, I live in a penthouse, I don't have to worry about eating or being cold at night.”
“But are you happy?” You turned to look at him. Seeing him so close felt different. There was the shadow of stubble across his jaw, purple barely visible under his eyes and a small pout on his lips.
“No.” You found yourself confessing. Why? You weren't sure. “I haven't been happy for a long time.” You turned to look back at the football field down ahead of you.
“How come?”
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“I'll tell you why I'm not happy.” He started, hands pressed between his thighs like a scolded kid. “In high school I was an asshole. I found this girl, and she was beautiful and smart and funny and everything I never thought I'd look for in love. And I messed it up.” Your heart seized, he must have been talking about someone else. “I kept playing it off, pretending we weren't together, hiding from her parents, but in reality, I wanted nothing more than to hold her hand and talk her on movie dates, not just make out in my car.”
“So why'd you do it?” You asked once he had finished.
“Because I felt I had to. I was the coolest guy in school and when you're an idiot high schooler, its the most important thing in the world.” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I was an idiot who couldn't see the woman of my dreams right in front of me.”
“So what are you now?”
“I'm a singer, with Jinyoung. I have 5 cats, whom I love equally.” He rambled. “I'm in love with this girl.”
And there's the heartbreak you were waiting for.
“She's smart, and somehow even more beautiful than the last time I saw her.”
“So go get her.”
“I can't. She hates me, the last time I spoke to her I laughed at her in front of the whole school, then we graduated and she left.” You were really hoping you were right about who he was talking about as you spoke next.
“She doesn't hate you.” You turned to look at him when he looked at you abruptly.
“Are you sure?”
“It's my turn to tell you a story.” You deflected. “When I was in high school, there was this guy I'm sure I was in love with. He was the opposite of what I thought love was, but he made me feel so amazing. He hurt me all the time though, he'd run from my parents and act like he didn't even know me at school. It hurt so bad.” He let out a deep sigh. “But then I ran away. I went off to college and I tried to forget about him. I kept using the way he would treat me as a standard. If they treated me like he did behind closed doors, but not the way he treated me in public, they were golden, but I started to realize something. No one could ever compare to him. No one held me with the same amount of emotion, no one looked at me the same way during sex, no one's car felt like home, like his. It took me until I overheard him tonight to realize, I had always been in love with him, even after 15 years.”
“Y/n.” You turned to face him, finding his face inches from yours. “You mean it?” You didn't answer, instead just pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth.
He smiled, no, grinned at you when you pulled away.
“Do you want to go back inside?” He asked, standing.
“Not really. I never liked dances, never had anyone to dance with.” You confessed.
“I know, and I should have taken you to Prom, so let me make it up to you? One dance and then I'll let you go back to the city forever.”
“Fine, but you have to walk me to my car.”
“I can do that.”
~~
A slow song started almost the moment you walked back into the gym. You stayed by the doors, but people were still watching you both.
“People are staring.” You whispered, cheeks heating up.
“Let them stare.” He shrugged, pulling you close by the waist. “I want my dance, I waited 15 years for it.” You shook your head, laughing.
“I have a question Jb.” You finally spoke after a few moments of silence.
“What's that?”
“What happened to the Firebird?”
“It's sitting in my garage.”
“How come?” You looked up at him, finding him smiling.
“Well, the day after that girl I told you about left, it stopped wanting to work. I usually ride my bike, but Jinyoung drove me today.” You nodded in understanding.
“Well then, here's my request. Come find me in the city. There's a diner there that reminds me of home, but you have to pick me up in the bird.”
“Why?”
“So we can pick up where we left off.”
~~Bonus~~
You stepped out of the elevator, coat thrown over one arm, and your bag in the other. Nearly a week had passed since the reunion and you were finally ready to go home for the weekend. People in the lobby were staring at you as you made your way to the front of the building.
“Hey, what's going on, why's everyone staring at me?” You asked the receptionist at the front desk.
“Well, the guy over there, he's from the boss' newest deal. He says he knows you, and that you made him agree to work here.” They explained, pointing to where a familiar leather jacket towered over your boss. Both of you exchanged confused looks before you walked over to the pair. The moment you smelled his cologne you smiled.
“Jaebeom?” You called, making him turn with a smile.
“Good evening, Y/n.” He greeted.
“I should be thanking you, Y/n. The JJ Project only signed onto the company because you impressed them so much during the reunion.”
“Excuse me, sir, is that your car out front?” A security guard interrupted the conversation.
“Yes it is, I'll move it in a moment.” Jb smiled, “Just me finish talking to the boss.”
“You two go have a good weekend, I'll see you both on Monday.” The Boss grinned, shooting you a wink. “Go on, I have business to handle.”
“Good night, boss!” You both called. You turned to Jb, who took the bag from your hand and offered you his own. Entwining your now free hand into his you let him walk you out the door to where the car was waiting.
“So you got her to work?” He grinned at you as he opened the door.
“I just told her she was getting her co-pilot back and she burst into life like she was brand new.” He explained, “I guess we both missed you.” Once he had sat down in his seat you leaned over, grabbing his collar and kissing him properly. “What was that for?” You just shrugged.
“Picking up where we left off.”
#im jaebeom#im jaebeom imagines#im jaebeom imagine#got7 imagines#got7 imagine#jb imagine#jb imagines#goodwriterwithbadhabits
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Summer’s Child
Summer’s Child Chapter 5- Angel of The Morning
Hey doll’s, its been a little break from all the gorgeous content, and im withering on the vine! Where oh where is the music. (Just Kidding, Jeff, take your time Harry-not really, but ok....) Special thanks to @emulateharry, and my true loves- @dirtystyles and @bleedinglove4h
May 1969
He just wanted to wear his dad's good suit. That's all he wanted. It would have made this simpler and definitely lessen the humiliation he was feeling.
Harry was stood in the Sears suit department watching Jillian make ugly faces at all the drab suits.
"Not one of them can be a color?" She'd looked at Harry standing there holding several checked jackets and sighed.
"I'm really fine with grey or blue." He'd shrugged. Those were colors. And as for the plaid in his hand, his dad had several tweed coats he was pretty sure he'd grown into. He was as tall as him now, maybe a hair taller. Or his hair ''twas taller. And a little broader. His posture was just band, mostly because he wanted to fold in on himself like a dinner napkin a lot of the time. Like right now. Not only was he going to Prom as her and Will's third wheel. He was going to stand out like the star in a play if Jillian got her way about his attire. He was really more of a background character.
Harry was elated when Jillian just huffed and took all the jackets out of his hand and gave him the blue suit. He'd been eyeing it for a while now. It was not navy, decidedly, but it was blue. Blue was safe, but it had small details he liked, the lapels and the flares leg. It was, well, groovy would be Jillian's description, was.
"You sure your don't want to try on the green suit?" She picked up the mossy suit one more time.
Harry wasn't sure what the difference was between a blue suit and a green one, the green just seemed, loud. "I think it's a little much." He narrowed his eyes behind his glasses at the fabric.
"But it's corduroy." She smiled like that made the difference. It did, just not the way she thought it did.
"Maybe that's why I think it's a little much." He inclined his forehead at her.
"I think you play it too safe." She shrugged.
He very much did play it safe. Not just with clothes. But, "the pants of the blue one are belled." That seemed relevant and like she needed a reminder.
Jillian trilled her musical laugh. "Oh, alright, I dig it. We have reached your limit on cool. Go try it on." He walked into the dressing room and could hear her giggling outside.
"What are you plotting?" He nearly tripped over his own pants, thankfully since he couldn't afford a suit and extra pants, when the corduroy hit his head.
"I wanna see you in it. You're gonna look groovy. Your eyes will be green like jade man!" His heart soared. "Trina Lewis said she's just noticed how pretty the color was the other day, when you were cleaning your glasses." And it sunk.
"Who's Trini Lewis?"
"She's in English with us. And Trina, doof." She laughed. "She moved here last year. Kinda quiet really curly blonde hair, brown eyes."
"Where does she sit?" He didn't care, he was simply stalling.
"She sits one back and two over from me, so three from you." That's why he'd never noticed, he looked forward in class, certainly no further back than Jillian.
"Why are we talking about Trini—"
"Trina." She giggled.
"Trina, any how?" He stepped out in the blue suit expecting to continue sparring with her.
She was quiet. It was strange, so Harry only caught a glimpse of himself before he redirected his attention to her. Jillian's eyes always took up a bit more than their fair share of her face, or he focused on them most to avoid looking at her mouth.
Sitting on the round tufted avocado stool, they were shooter marble big. And her mouth was caught on whatever explanation she was gonna give about the blonde in their English class. Trini? It was hard to remember anyone else's name when she was looking up at him, especially like that.
Something broke when she blinked, the moment, his heart, it was hard to say. "What?" He finally asked to break the tension. The hairs on his arm were standing on end.
"Nothing," she swallowed loud. "where are your glasses?"
"Oh, I took them off to get my sweater over my head, forgot to pop them back on."
"Your hair looks different too. I um," She fidgeted with her hair, "I, um, didn't know it had gotten so long." It sounded like a compliment, though the words weren't complimentary exactly. He'd take it. He wasn't sure about the way she was gazing at him; it looked like she'd been staring at the sun, like when you see black spots because you stared too directly.
Seemed fair, he often felt like he watched her like the moon through a telescope trying to map her geography.
His hair was longer than normal. It seemed fashionable, though he still did it in his usual fashion, so no one had noticed, he just pushed it back after showers. He wasn't sure it was worth it, the growth. Plus, his hair was getting hard to pomade so he was just about ready to cut it.
Harry was pretty sure he'd let it go until it touched his shoulders now.
Jillian loved long hair, he knew it. It was a very uncommon sight still in their small town. It might have been his unnamed motivation.
"Yeah, I thought I'd try it." For California. But he still hadn't had time to share with her. They hung out, not as much as they used to, and her mom was having a long stitch of singleness, so Jillian slept at home. He hoped to tell her. He'd hoped to continue planning together. He wondered if he hadn't been able to get it out because he was afraid she'd changed her mind. Time had passed, and well, Will. Will was still around, but Harry still hoped for forever. And that meant California, just the two Of them. Her eyes said maybe
He had a little hope, maybe they could find some sweet romance after all.
"It looks really nice." Jillian finally said. Her voice a little higher than normal. There was a pause. "You know, I thought you'd grown out of your curls." She gestured to the mirror and rushed through the next question. "Do you like the blue?"
Harry realized the mirror was still there and looked at himself. He looked really tall in these bell bottoms. He supposed he was kind of taller than most of the boys at school. He'd need a boot, maybe with a bit of a heel, he may have a loafer that would work. The shirt was a bit ruffly. "I like the blue, maybe not the shirt. The pants are groovy." He put his leg up to let the flare open. "Do people grow out of their curls?" He ran his hand through his hair, ruffled it up. He could feel her eyes and it was such a nice boomerang of his feelings and attention on her; he preened a little.
"Should I try the green?" He walked a few steps closer to peer at his eyes. He never really thought about their color, he supposed they were really green. He was partial to blue, blue eyes and the blue sight. He hunkered down next to her, sitting on his heels, and bumped her shoulder. "Or have we found the one? Though I'd prefer a different shirt."
She kept her head forward and he was slightly miffed she didn't slide her forehead over his. He thought about breathing her condensed breath on his bench seat in January a lot. That was a sense memory, it smarted that it was coupled with silently committing to friendship for life. If she would just turn to him now, maybe....
"I think the shirt makes it, but the flares are far out enough for me. You should try the green, at least see how it looks." He rolled his head to the light and stood up. She wasn't gonna breathe on him, despite their earlier moment.
He sighed. "Ok." Once he got in the room he looked at his choices. He was already exhausted, and this was his first suit. "How many dresses did you have to try on?"
"Oh, I'm gonna wear the dress you bought me. The pink one?" She sounded nonchalant on purpose, it didn't quite work.
"Are you supposed to do that? Rewear dresses to big events?" He had money from his dad for the suit. Started checking price tags. The blue was more than the brown. But the green was most expensive.
"I just really like the dress."
He barely had the shirt on when he stepped out. And Jillian swallowed once her gaze reached his face while he was buttoning up. It had started at his navel where his fingers had fumbled. He needed to see her face. He felt like there were things she wasn't saying. He knew there were, but if she bit her lip or cut her eyes away quick, he'd know she was lying.
She did the second when he got the jacket on. "Listen, go get some dresses. Look at the sale racks, or we can try Mel's again."
"The pink was a treasure find, Harry."
"There's gotta be a better thrift shop here in Syracuse. We could try another one. I'll get the blue instead of the green, then I can use the difference in cash to pick it up for you?" He just felt like she needed a new dress.
"I don't care if people notice Harry." Did he? Maybe. He already heard troubling things about her. The high school rumor mill was very busy trying to figure out what Will was doing with Jillian 8 months on. They figured he hadn't gotten what he was after. What Jillian was trying to get outta Will was less discussed. Everyone assumed his family's money and social status, but Harry confused them further.
Jillian still rode to school with Harry often, or had since they'd made up, and she occasionally ate with him in the library. The supposed triangle made people feel sorry, for him.
He'd heard back up boyfriend a time or two again. It always felt like a slap. May always feel that way.
But that wasn't Jillian, that was just high school dicks.
"Don't you wanna look? It couldn't hurt."
"I'll look, if you wear the ruffled shirt." She turned her face sideways, her cheekbones shone fetchingly, even in the harsh department store lighting.
"You drive a hard bargain. But I'll do it." He wanted to reverse their positions of the last hour. It seemed like she saw him anew today. He looked at her new with each day. In pretty dresses couldn't hurt, they were memories he could hoard up like treasure. Her in her prom dress, his date or not, smiling at him and pleased with herself.
"That's not the whole bargain. I also want you to ask Trina to the dance."
"The dance is in a week!" He squawked and was getting back into his own clothes. He forewent the sweater vest. He was hot from all the changing so much his hair was definitely curling up from the damp, so he just pushed it back and over. "Won't that offend her?"
He had no excuses for why he left the glasses off. He'd never even realized how green his eyes were, either.
"Nah, she's not got a date, it'll give her a reason to buy a dress. She wants to go. She wants to go with you." They were walking out by now. The line had been minimal and they'd only done quick pleasantries while they were embroiled in their current debate.
He opened her car door. And she slid in and reached over to unlock his. Harry thought about it as he walked around. He was sure Trini was nice, Trina, and it would save him from an awkward dynamic. When they were all around each other, Will mostly ignored him, but Prom was long compared to moments at Dairy Barn or in the halls. That may be nice.
The problem was, he wanted to go with Jillian. Even as the strange tripod that she, he and Will had developed. She was changing their dynamic. It was disappointing, but he was sure she envisioned some double date scenario. A partner of his own may distract him from her and Will kissing. Or whatever. He could see the merits of the idea more and more. Harry was ready to agree, but needed to confirm the terms.
"So," he looked at her across the bench seat. He felt taller when she looked him in the eye today. He was gonna have to put the glasses on to drive, but he was gonna wait until the engine purred to life. "If I ask Trina to the dance and wear that ever so slightly cheaper suit with the ruffled blouse."
"It's not a blouse." She insisted.
"It's a blouse." He kept talking, over her interruption and through his grinning teeth. "Then we can search some thrift shops and find you a dress? A new one?"
She chewed her lip. Jillian wanted to say no, but she also wanted him to go with Trina, or she really liked the blouse. He wasn't sure which. "Yes." She said and screwed up her mouth like she'd eaten a load of salt and vinegar chips, which he loved and she tolerated. She'd liked the Worcester chips his dad got when he went to New York and found a specialty shop much better. They could get them next month before or after The Beach Boys show.
He'd also heard there was gonna be a big music show nearby this summer. Maybe they could go? He'd ask her after he got her in a dress. Though questions usually preceded gowns.
"I would shake your hand, but I'm driving." He looked at her grinning. "Can you be trusted?"
She just stared at him and he was confused by her mood.
"Can we listen to the radio?" She leaned forward without him saying yes. That was the obvious answer. They sang together, always. He headed to the area around the university. He remembered there being a charity shop there with good stuff.
She was singing softly to "The Zombies." He got caught up in the moment of it, and his voice dropped off the chorus. She could carry it. The lyrics carried his away. This was a season; winter was ending and they were headed for years long spring. He was just about to tell her. All his plans. He wasn't sure why he hadn't yet. Every time he went to share, he found himself saying something else. Like he was sure that forever didn't extend past August and she was really just shining him on until she could leave. That she was gonna marry Will in a year and have a baby, like so many girls they knew, or the worst. That she wanted California on her own, and only faux planned with him to placate him. He hated being placated.
He really hated thinking these thoughts.
Maybe that's why he said, "what color dress you gonna get?" Instead of anything important, everything important.
She looked at him then, in that way she had. Like he was made of glass, but she'd only reply to the reflection, blurry on top. Not what she saw deeper. He appreciated that she didn't force candor, it seemed she always knew without him saying.
"When you thrift shop, you can't be as picky. It'll do if we find something that fits and is somewhat appropriate."
"Appropriate?" He laughed.
She rolled her eyes. "For a dance."
"I feel like it's the only time they let you guys dress in anything remotely inappropriate." He glanced quick to catch her expression. He had the mirror, but in motion was better. "Remember last year when they got you for that mini skirt?"
"Ugh, it was not that short."
He bit his laugh off. It was pretty short. He zigged to a new subject. "How's this place look?" He gestured at the store he had in mind. The front window was full of shawls and bell bottoms, a tie dye tapestry peaking out behind.
"Far Out, Hardy!"
"You haven't called me that in forever." He jumped down and lit up further when she slipped her arm through his. She was touchy like when they were younger today. After her dad left, well, it was nice for it to be back.
"You haven't earned it! When was the last time you found me pretty Beetles?"
"I find you Beatles albums."
"Not as good," She shook her head and bowed like the Hare Krishnas in Central Park when he opened the door for her.
"That's not what you said when I found Sgt.Pepper early for you."
"Well, maybe that one should have gotten a Hardy."
"Your giddy scream was enough." They'd made it to the dress section while they were bantering.
It looked like a pastel bomb went off. There were a lot of flounces. Jillian stayed away from the most complicated pieces and chose darker colors. It surprised him.
The black dress was drab and everything was so low cut, she'd claimed even on prom night they'd kick her out.
She might have even been right, he was almost hyperventilating and shifting his erection to his waistband after that dark blue one shift dress. He didn't know people who weren't Cher wore necklines like that. Jillian was not shaped like Cher. Harry had wandered to distract himself from seeing her in anything else that would make him feel like he ran the hurdles in gym. It was in a random spot he found her dress. It was white, with ruffled cap sleeves and little hippie flowers. The front wouldn't get her kicked out, but it would set his heart to racing.
Will's too.
But it was too beautiful to not bring it to her.
Jillian's eyes widened, it was his favorite face, when he surprised her with something she loved. She was the great gift giver and he tried to get on her level every birthday and Christmas. He'd succeeded a few times, The Beach Boys tickets, the headband that looked just like the one the girl on the cover of Life had worn when they put out the issue on hippies. Her bike when he'd fixed it after she thought it was broken for good at 11.
This was better. Because she slipped the dress from his fingers like it was worth rubies, not $4 as the tag said. She held it lightly, but immediately walked into the dressing room. His eyes widened in a mirror image of her in Sears when she walked out of the dressing room.
"Wow." Was all he could muster. "You look....."
"Yeah?" It's groovy?" She looked like she believed it, and just needed him to back her, like he always did.
"It's far out, Jill." He called her that when he was overcome. Or she was crying. She looked a little misty. He swallowed over the lump in his throat. "You can wear some flowers in your hair too. You'll look so pretty. I'll go look for some."
He found some fake potted plant for .25 and took off buds. He wasn't sure how she'd do it. But he could see the halo of white flowers around her face. It was a window to his future. This dress, flowers in her hair, the alameda county court house.
"How's this?" He held out the handful of flowers and she looked up. He wanted to receive that benediction again and again. Harry didn't know she liked getting flowers, he'd never given her a living thing as a gift. He would now. He'd bring her real flowers home when they had a place. He liked learning new things about her.
"Perfect, they're perfect." She took the buds and pulled her hair up messily, the silky tresses falling through her fingers and the band she had. The hard green parts of the fake petals stuck in between and stayed for put for enough seconds to get an idea of what she'd look like Saturday. Harry stood behind her and gazed in the glass with her.
His heart pounded, and if she was facing him, he was sure he wouldn't be able to keep from kissing her.
"Do you think Will will like it?"
The bubble filling where his heart should be burst. He rubbed over his chest to warm the ice that comment induced, and did what best friends do, "How could he not? You look like an angel."
"An angel of the morning?" She grinned. He wanted to return it. They'd sung it en route. Before the suits. It was hard to smile back though. She always looked like an angel in the morning, especially in the morning. But, was she asking because of Will? Because he might see her just after dawn?
"An angel at anytime." He assured her. Will was staying in New York. And they were going to California. He was gonna give her the dream, he reminded himself. God he loved her and was so scared she was gonna spend the night with Will. Like really spend the night, not just share a bed, no matter how small.
It was prom. There was a strange expectation. Lots of the boys had been talking about the hotel rooms they'd gotten. The dance was all the way in Syracuse, at the college. A couple groups were staying in the dorms or frats with older siblings. He hadn't heard Will talking about hotel rooms, but Steve was, and his plans for it. Though to hear him tell it, he'd had his girlfriend in his truck many a time.
It always made Harry grit his teeth.
Especially when Steve talked about Jillian's tits and Will smiled and laughed. He'd seen Will give an approximation with the cupped palms of his hands and say, "She goes crazy," and lick his lips that time.
Harry couldn't tell that to Jillian, about Will talking about her like that, not without ulterior motives. It was her decision anyhow. And he couldn't bring himself to ask about it. They didn't talk about her and Will, not really, just surface stuff. Though he spent plenty of time worrying about it, and loathing himself for it. Fear and loathing in New York.
"Um, I think this is the one. I'll go pay." He reached to the top of her back and took the tag off. His finger tips coasted over her skin for just a pleasant second. He ignored the chill bumps that rose. He must have startled her. "You look beautiful." He said as he left.
He was blinded by her smile and nearly crushed the little handwritten tag on his way to pay for that dress for her to go to a dance with someone else.
But he dreamed of her wearing it with real flowers in her hair and saying loving words and long term vows to him as sunlight broke through fog.
The week was a bit of a blur. Trini, no Trina, said yes, she squealed and hugged him. There were tests and end of year activities, and it felt like the ending of a movie you knew had a sequel. He was really excited for the next chapter.
He felt like a new man. Looked it, too. He was only wearing his glasses in class and had let his growing hair loose. His physics teacher didn't recognize him on Wednesday. Which made him both really confused and a little smug.
His da had stopped him on Saturday. "You lost your glasses then?"
Harry'd quirked his head to the side and pulled them from his jean's pocket and slipped them up his nose.
"No?"
"Good. You wear them to drive?"
Harry had nodded.
"Good. It's nice to see your mother's eyes." And he'd taken his mug of tea and hid out from all the emotion in his study.
That was when he was leaving to get Jillian from the early shift at work. They were getting ready at his house, he'd drop her at Will's and then find Trina's house on the way. Shouldn't be too hard, their town only had one stop light.
He gave her the bathroom. The spicy smells coming from under the bathroom door where new and altogether pleasant. He knocked. "New perfume?"
"Um, yeah. Will bought it for me. Its Opium."
"It's nice." He complimented and leaned his forehead as softly as possible against the wood grain.
"It's alright. I miss my Love's." He'd bought that one birthday, liked the powdery scent . It just seemed like Jillian to him. He missed it too.
She'd been in the bathroom, long after he was in his suit. The new look was easier, he didn't have to pomade his hair and try to subdue it. He just let it curl around his ears and neck and forehead. He needed to get in to splash on some after shave, for scent, he'd never really needed to shave. Harry didn't want to rush her, but..... He listened to small movement and soft sighs. He was just about to say something, then.
For a second, he thought he heard a sob. "You ok?"
"Yeah, yeah." Her voice was thick. "I keep having to redo my eyeliner. I wanted to try that Sharon Tate thing. It's hard. I'm frustrated."
Over explaining, not a good sign. "Can I come in."
"Um no, I'm in my underwear."
Harry groaned, but bit off the sound. "Did something happen?"
"My um, my mom, she didn't come home last night. I guess I'm a little worried." Her voice sounded close. Like they were both speaking through the hinges.
"Do you want to go by and check on her? Or.." he squared his shoulders. "Or we can drive by the bar?"
"That's, that would be really good, Harry." She opened the door and he almost fell in. Jillian peeked at him, and their faces were so close. "Thanks." She kissed his cheek and her breath smelled sweet. Even over the strong perfume that didn't fit her.
"We need to hurry then. I don't want to be late to Trina, seems rude." His voice was sheer, thin as the overlay of her dress.
"K, I'll hurry."
"Leave the eyes alone." They were misty, it would run. "You look perfect."
She nodded and smiled. Then closed the door softly. He could feel the grain of the wood on the heel of his hand when he placed it there.
She came out 10 minutes later. He wee'd and splashed on his scent. Well, His dad's.
He was trying to push down the ruffles when he came out.
"Stop that!" Her laugh tickled his ears like questing fingers under blankets. She re ruffled him.
They needed to get out of here, all her casual affection was affecting him. He couldn't take it.
It was worse when his dad insisted on pictures, like they were going together, like she was his date. Like it was his dream.Standing behind her, with his arms around her waist, her unfamiliar smell going to his head and her bum resting too close for comfort on his pelvis, he focused on his anguish, and the periodic table, so he wouldn't embarrass himself.
"You guys look lovely. That will be a framer." He swore his dad was crying, in a very British way. He was fussing about behind him with the camera at his desk.
"We're going da." He tried to get his attention. Get him to turn around. So he could check his hunch.
"Oh, quite right. Wouldn't want you to be late. Have a good time. Don't worry about curfew." Harry's mouth dropped open. "Enjoy yourselves."
He was keeping his eyes firmly on the road. Though he could feel Jillian's on him. His dad looked, funny. He had never seen him so emotional. He let his mind run on that while the seat he'd for her parent. Jillian got uncomfortable and quiet when her mom let her down. He let her feel it. He'd snap her out of it after they figured out what exactly was going in. He kinda knew where she was.
Jillian's mom wasn't at their house.
But her beat up pick up was outside the VFW she sometimes called work.
"Look, she's just down the pub. It's ok. Do you want to go in so she can see you?" She really should. If only to shame the devil for probably not even knowing it was prom.
Jillian scanned parking lot. Her gaze stuttered over a black camaro at the end. It looked very familiar, but Harry couldn't place it.
He went to switch off the engine. Jillian grabbed Harry's wrist to stop his motion. Another casual touch that felt committed, and said, "no, I don't want to be late for Will."
"You don't think your mom would want to see you?" She didn't deserve it, but it would be merciful.
"If it was important to her, she would have helped me get ready, instead of not even coming home." Her face had the blank look it got when she shut down. Jillian wasn't always merciful.
He knew better but, "But."
"No, Harry. Let's go." He eased his foot off the break and obeyed.
She didn't touch him again, just kept her hands folded on her lap. There was a corsage on the seat. It wasn't for her.
He watched her walk into Will's, but didn't see the corsage, a pink set of carnations, until he and Trina arrived at the dance.
He wasn't sure why he was surprised, but Jillian and Will sat at another table altogether than him and Trina. At first, embarrassingly, he felt close to tears over it. Suddenly, his dad's reaction made sense. He wished he had a desk and camera to fuss with. He consoles himself with reason.
It made sense, both Will and Jillian on court, it was closer to the stage, he reminded himself. He told himself this while he put a smile on like a kid pastes cut outs on a test page.
They didn't win, and he didn't like who he was that he felt a swelling in his chest at it. Despite Jillian's crestfallen face. It was one of the few moments he was surprised about one of her reactions. A few months ago he would have been surprised she cared to win at all.
It was the second to last dance when he saw Jillian coming towards him. He had to admit, he had had a lovely time with Trina. They could be good friends, even if he hadn't been in love with someone else, he believed he would have felt the same.
He hoped.
"Trina, do you mind if I cut in." She'd tapped his date's shoulder. He'd kept turning his date from 'take time to know her' to 'angel of the morning.'
Both described Jillian to him. But he was glad she got to dance with him to the latter.
He spared a second's thought for Trina, but he was pretty sure she felt the same, about them being better suited as friends. She was chatting with Simon, from history, he thought. Then dancing.
He had tunnel vision he guessed. For lessons at school. For Jillian now. For California in three months. "You having fun?" He opened with, as formal as his ruffled shirt.
"Yeah, I guess. I'm a little sad we lost." She screwed up her face in a way that told him she was as surprised as him.
"I saw that!" He made a face at her.
"I know. I'm surprised too. I didn't even know I wanted to win."
"Well, I've won. Since I get to dance with the prettiest girl here. Real prom queen."
She blushed. She rarely did that near him. It somehow changed the color of the lights above and her dress below. Everything glowing a soft pink.
"What's going on after this?" Harry wasn't really sure of after dance procedures. This was only his second. The last one she'd left separately, and this time they hadn't attended together.
"Oh, some party upstairs." Jillian explained.
"Here? At the hotel?" Wow, some people lived completely different lives.
"Yeah, I'll bet you can come. I'll ask Will." She offered.
He wanted to go, just to extend this night, with her and that dress and the rose glow. Even if it was with two other people between them.
"Yeah, ok."
Which was how he found himself watching Steven Adler get increasingly drunk and obnoxious.
"Hey, what's your name?" He'd asked about an hour into hotel time.
"Harry, Harry Styles."
"Who invited you?" He said like the words meant nothing to him. Although he'd suggested at one point they, meaning the football team, tape Harry's butt cheeks together, to see if he lived up to his name. Apparently it would hurt a lot more if he was hairy Harry.
They'd surrounded him in the shower. He hadn't been Hairy enough to bother, and the dick jokes had run to awe. He didn't have a comparison.
Steven has known his name two weeks ago.
After that, Harry kept himself to himself. He hadn't seen much of Jillian. But Trina seemed happy, hanging on the couch with a beer in her hands and chuckles in her mouth.
An hour later, Trina was ready to go. And truly, Harry was too. But, he needed to see Jillian first. To make sure she wanted to stay, here, at the hotel, with Will. Where everybody had an agenda for after the dance.
He was going from room to room in the hallway the athletes had seemed to have planned to take up. All the doors were opened and people spilled out. None of them Jillian.
It took him 20 minutes of panic to find her. She was coming out of the last room. Her cheeks were tear stained, and her eyes were bloodshot. Grass maybe was his first thought. He knew she'd been experimenting, that they had talked about.
"Harry!" Her voice broke with relief and over a sob like wave.
"Jillian!bWhat's wrong?"
She just shook her head. There were too many people around.
"Where's Will?"
Her chin lifted then. "In his room, alone." The last word was so final he just paused, and moved into a new paragraph.
"Let's find Trina. So we can get out of here?"
Jillian bit her nails near the elevator bank, looking toward the end of the hallway and back to the room across from it where Harry had left Trina. He could feel her eyes on him as he searched.
Luckily, his date was where he had left her. Talking to classmates and smiling drunkenly.
"Hey, you ready?"
"Yeah, let me grab my purse. Everything cool, man?"
"Yeah, fine. Just late." He demurred.
The ride home nobody spoke. Too tired or caught up in their emotions. It was half an hour and the girls were drooping on each other's shoulders when he reached Trina's.
She was past the turn off for Jillian's, and he hoped nobody noticed. He tried not to think much about it. But, he wanted to ask his best girl where she wanted to go. And he wanted to know why she'd not been in the party rooms, why she left Will, and most importantly why she'd been crying?
He hugged Trina at the door, and they decided to go bowling together the week after. "You should ask Jillian." Trina had said as he headed down the walk.
"Yeah, if she's off, and not with Will." He'd shrugged as he turned back with his hands in his pockets.
"No, Harry." She leveled sober eyes on him. "You should ask Jillian, whatever it is you need to ask her. Forget Will." She suggested and grinned drunkenly before swaying through her door and closing it too loud for 2 am.
Ask Jillian. Forget Will.
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#summer’s child#chapter 5#angel of the morning#tripod writing#cult fic#vintage#retro fic#1960’s#1970’s
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Black and White- Fyodor Dostoevsky
This turned out so much longer than i planned it to be sorry folks!! But this imagine i tried making it slightly diff than the imagines, i honestly wouldnt say its romantic tbh it also doesnt have as much fyodor as i planned for there to be sadly :(( but let me know what yall think!! also im on vacation again this time for a month so im so sorry yall if i cant post as much!!
word count: 2.5k
summary: The black and white of your world holds a whole new meaning when you meet him.
TW: Hints towards depression a lot, really depressing dialogue
The day before he came into your life everything was black and white. A perfect world encased in various shades of grey, shrouded in a two-tone hue of barrenness and desolation.
The light that poured into your world started off as a warmth seemingly brought forth by an angel. But slowly, before you could even realize it at the time, the warmth grew more and more intense the longer you spent time with him. It grew and grew until that once comforting warmth turned into a scalding sensation, burning your touch along with the pretty pictures of your life. It burned the new-found colours until you saw yourself left in the end with no picture at all, surrounded by the darkness that once upon a time was all you knew.
In the end, you horrifically realized that he was no angel at all.
He liked to claim that he was a god, but you didn’t believe his words even from your first meeting up until the last. You knew better than that, in the end, he was more so like Lucifer.
Once an angel indeed, you suppose so judging from not only his carefully crafted facade of a morally virtuous persona but also his physical features.
You remembered the first day he came into the music shop that you worked at, his angelic features drew and ensnared your attention almost immediately.
That particular day it was snowing lightly, the white flakes gently building on top of one another until the city was a buried underneath one of the worlds most beautiful creations.
Beautiful, untainted white snow with unique patterns pressed onto each flake. However, when mingled with the rest of its own kind, it was as ordinary as it could ever be to the naked eye. An average speck who will never stand apart from the rest of its kind and will instead be overshadowed by those who come after it.
Much like you.
Despite the gloomy thoughts, it didn’t make the snow any less cold.
“Shit,” you scowled as a gust of cold air blew into the store, taking with it a flurry of snowflakes, “Hurry up and shut the door behind you, Ann.”
The person in question was your friend and the sole reason you had this shitty job working as a cashier at the music store. Her family had hired you purely out pity when your parents died. You were at the tender age of 12 at the time.
You liked that word. Died. It was straight to the point, no bullshit and no cushioning of the hard blow it delivered. You remembered at the funeral how the many unrecognizable people who had attended came up to you, choking out apologies for your late parents.
Or how they passed away.
Or how they were deceased.
Died. Dead. Death. It didn’t matter, you liked the foreign comfort the words gave you. It meant that the world you spent so much time analyzing was the same as you made it out so sure to be. It meant that one day you too were going to “pass away” and your existence would then blend into the hundreds of thousands of those who lived and died before you.
And then, you’d be forgotten.
You never figured out why that morbid thought was so relieving to you.
Ann rolls her eyes, shaking you out of your stupor and back into the real world. She closes the door behind her but not before ruffling her hair free of snowflakes, this action allowing another draught of frigid air to enter.
“Okay miss grumpy, chillax ‘kay?” she teases and it's your turn to roll your (e/c) eyes as she slips off her coat, tossing it behind the cash register.
“Besides,” she continues as she takes a seat next to you behind the register, “Your shift is up in literally ten minutes so you can go home and sleep.”
You look at her from the corner of your eye as you rest your cheek in the palm of your hand. She has taken to sorting the receipts silently for a moment before she asks, “How long did you sleep for last night?”
You blink a couple of times before realizing the exhaustion must be painted so easily on your face. The purple eyebags decorating your face must not be a pretty sight. You can feel the weight of your own existence pulling you downwards, like all you want is to crawl under the covers and fall asleep to a mixture of winter and Chopin. Today has hit you particularly hard, but you don’t let her know that.
Inhaling through your nose, you sit up right before casually replying, “Seven hours give or take”
She beams at the easy lie as she nods approvingly, “Making progress, good.”
All you do is shrug, its been a slow day all you want to do it go back home. There have barely been any customers and the shop is completely empty at the moment save for the both of you.
‘Anyways,” her tone changes to one full of pep, “Can I tell you about my tinder date? I’m gonna tell you about my tinder date” she doesn’t wait for your approval.
You snort, standing up as you make your way over to the hanging instruments opposite on the wall. You intend to straighten them up again for the millionth time, the slightest crook getting on your nerves.
She takes this action as a sign to go on, “So, I swiped on this guy na-“
She is cut off by the soft chime of bells filling the small store indicating a customer has entered.
Before even moving, you feel the cold air gently sweep across your exposed skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
You turn your head to the door, your hand pausing on its readjustment of the violin hanging on the wall.
A tall slim young man, maybe somewhere aged in the mid 20s has entered, his seemingly delicate pale hand pressed against the window of the door. His shoulder length black hair falls softly onto his shoulders, ensnared underneath a ushanka as white as the snow that has entered the store. The white snowflakes stand out against his long black coat.
He searches around the shop for a moment before his eyes catch onto yours. That’s when the air leaves your lungs and you feel a shiver run down your spine.
Never in your life had you ever met a man so…so…beautiful.
Beautiful was an understatement, he was simply breathtaking.
The most striking thing about his visage, however, were his eyes.
Purple eyes. Never in your life had you ever met anyone with that particular eye colour. But it was more than that, it was the sharp look in them as well.
You felt yourself tense up at your eye contact, something about this man was unsettling you quite so. You can barely breathe, your body shrinking back into itself as all you wanted to do was run and run. You wish you had an ability that enabled you to do so.
His eyes flickered downwards before they moved upwards to catch your eyes once more and it was then that you felt so exposed. Like an insect underneath a microscope, completely visible and naked.
Compared with his striking features, you no longer felt human standing next to this man.
Suddenly, someone clears their throat, effectively breaking the silent game of observation occurring between you and this stranger.
You turn your head to the source, Ann, who raises an eyebrow at your impolite and reclusive behavior. Even more reclusive than usual.
She turns her head to the customer, interest taking over her features as she too realizes just how otherworldly this man is.
She wears a charming smile, “Hello sir, can I help you with anything today?”
“Good day,” the stranger says, the words rolling off his tongue in a seductive Russian drawl and you feel yourself heat up. You turn away, busying yourself with straightening the instruments once more.
Ann’s got this; you’ll just ignore him.
“I was wondering, do you perchance sell cello’s here?” he asks smoothly. Your hands freeze on the cello you were adjusting and briefly wonder for a moment why he even asked when you know he clearly saw it behind you with that little stare off just a few moments ago.
Ann confirms that, yes, we do sell cello’s here.
And when she asks what particular one, he is looking for, she mistakenly points towards a Franz Sandner instead of an August Kohr.
You take the liberty of correcting her.
“Its actually this one,” you quietly point out her mistake and effectively drawing the stranger’s attention back towards you. Beside him, Ann glowers knowing that you have somehow ruined her plan of seducing the customer with talk of a cello.
You wish you didn’t because the fear that washes over you feels stronger than before.
“Okay well,” Ann glowers at you, “I’m pretty your shift is up, (Y/N).”
You falter at her statement before swallowing and nodding. You weren’t going to fight over something that wasn’t worth fighting over.
You’re glad at your friend’s dismissal, as it means that you can get away from that man’s burning gaze asap. You make quick work of gathering your belongings and making your way to the exit, to freedom.
All the while, your heart beats quick for an entirely different reason
Because for the first time you feel fear on behalf of your friend’s safety, as the distance between you and the pair grow larger and larger.
-
You’re were right to feel worried over the protection of your friend, because two weeks later under the same frigid weather, you are staring down her coffin.
It’s eerily similar to how her funeral likens to the one of your parents. If you shut your eyes really tightly and pretend for a moment that you are fourteen, it is exactly the same funeral.
Life goes on.
Except the biggest difference between this time is that this was no accident.
You’re good at observations, spending more of your life alone and isolated left you with the only thing to pass the time; watching people.
Putting two and two, you know now that this a murder caused by no one other than that man in the shop. You don’t know how but you know for sure that he possesses some sort of ability. After all, you don’t what sort of weapon could make that kind of wound in her head.
Currently, you’re the only one left in the graveyard. The sun is setting soon but you pay no mind to that fact and instead tilt your head upwards, watching the snow lightly fall around you and, on the coffin, -Ann’s coffin.
You hear the familiar sound of shoes treading on snow, but you don’t bother looking to see and instead focuses on the number of snowflakes covert he lid of the coffin.
“What a miserable affair,” a voice sighs, the smooth Russian accent unforgettable to you, “Wouldn’t you agree?”
You turn your head to see the devil himself, you should be vengeful and raging right now. A small part of you wants to jump at him, tearing his pretty face apart with your nails and to just watch the blood draw and spill. But as quick as that thought appeared, it disappears for at the moment you just don’t care.
You have nothing left. The logical part of you know that’s it will not bring her back; the only family you had left. You have nothing anymore.
But this time your anxiety is non-existent, you don’t feel afraid. In fact, you don’t feel much of anything at the moment.
From your apathy or the cold, you’re not quite so sure which. You close your mouth before opening it once more.
“It wasn’t sad,” you simply say, relishing in the slightest sign of surprise that registers on his handsome face. You look deeply into those purple hues of his, admiring for a moment before you continue, “It was boring.”
You turn your head back to the coffin and blankly blink at the slight buildup that you have missed.
“Boring,” he repeats, “Such is the debility of human existence, such things take the liberty of latching onto my heart from time to time”
You let his words sink for a moment.
“No, it doesn’t,” you softly deny, “Not to you” “May I perhaps ask why?”
You turn your head to him, the first sign of emotion crossing your visage as you stare hard, “Because you’re not human.”
You say this statement with so much confidence and let it ring in the air. The man takes this fact in before smirking, “Then what could I possibly be?”
You don’t hesitate to answer, “A devil.” If he is offended, he doesn’t show it and instead chuckles lightly, purple eyes dancing with joy. At what, you have no clue, but you feel yourself recoil at this.
“No little bird,” he smirks drops into a soft smile, “I think you will find that I am more of a god than anything.”
Your eyebrows furrow for a moment as you study him. He breaks your eye contact to look at the coffin in front of both of you. He then answers your unasked question.
“The sinful nature of humans demands to be cleansed.” He utters into the empty space, and you raise both brows in interest at this statement. You follow his gaze to the coffin before tracing it back to his eyes.
Sinful. How could a young girl commit a sin so grave she had to answer with it for her life? Who was this man to judge her for that?
“And what of my human nature?” you quietly ask. He turns back to you, “Oh but little bird,” corners of his mouth tilt upwards and his eyes flash as if he knows something you don’t. Your heart rate raises as you wait for him to finish his sentence.
“You’re not much of a human anymore, are you?”
Your mouth falls agape slightly and your blood turns into ice easily.
“In fact,” he continues, suddenly taking a step forward, reaching forward to caress your cheek, “You’re not much of anything anymore” he whispers.
His thumb presses slightly against your bottom lip and your eyes flicker downwards before meeting his again. Your mouth dries.
“Correct?” he asks venomlike.
You’re ensnared into his trap as you nod, but you barely register the movement.
“Good.” He steps back and his smile is back as he holds his hand out.
“Seeing as you no longer have a place in this world little bird,” he says calmly, “Come with me and let me seat you among the stars.”
You don’t hesitate in taking his hand, somewhere in the back of your head a part of you is screaming, saying you are walking into the exact same trap that your friend has walked into.
But you don’t care, because you are sick of seeing the white of the snow and the black of your soul.
If that means walking into the lion’s den of the man named Fyodor Dostoevsky, then so be it.
At least it’ll mean a small part of you will have meaning again.
#bsd#bsd imagine#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs imagine#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#fyodor imagine#fyodor x reader#fyodor dostoevsky x reader#fyodor dostoevsky imagine#bsd fyodor imagine
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Infinitesimal (part 17)
Author’s note: Happy Monday!
Warnings: food mention, fear
Word count: 1437
Look for the masterpost in the notes!
...
Logan and Roman had apparently decided that the three of them were all going to eat lunch together in the same room again. They brought in chairs, like before, from the kitchen, and placed them near the table Patton was seated on.
Roman placed two items on the table in front of him. Patton scooted forward once both humans had sat down, pulling both objects towards himself. One was the bottlecap containing his lunch, which he was eager to dig into, but he took a second to inspect the new item first: a fork. It was pale blue, slightly wide for Patton’s hand; but with a little shaving of the handle and some sharpening of the tines, it would be perfect. It would things much easier even before he got the chance to make those modifications. Why would the humans give him this? He looked up, searching for an answer, but all the human did was gesture at his food as if to say, “go ahead”.
The three of them started to eat. Patton had never had a food quite like this one. It had rice and carrots and peas, all of which he had had before, but there were also some little cubes of a weird spongey thing that he didn’t recognize.
“This is called tofu,” Roman supplied after a moment, holding up a larger version of one of the cubes speared on his fork. Patton wondered, not for the first time, if he was really that easy to read. Maybe Roman just assumed that Patton didn’t know anything.
“Oh,” he heard himself say, barely audible even to his own sharp ears.
They ate in silence for a while longer before Roman spoke again.
“So, Pat,” he began, setting his bowl down in his lap. “Did you think about what I asked? About your outfit?”
Patton squirmed a little under the human’s gaze. It didn’t help as Logan glanced curiously between the two of them. He tugged at the fabric of his pantleg, but he quickly stopped when it threatened to unravel in his fingers. He really would have liked something new to wear, something clean and warm, but the thought of what the process of getting a new outfit might entail mildly terrified him. He couldn’t figure out why the human even cared about his clothes. Maybe it was like when Marissa had first given him the doll dress to make his current outfit from: she had wanted him to match the rest of her dolls, in mostly pink. Maybe these humans simply didn’t like this outfit.
“I could give you the materials,” Roman offered. “And you could make it yourself. If you’re feeling up to it, I mean.”
Patton bit his lip in indecision. He wanted to say yes. He really would like some new clothes. He just wasn’t sure what the humans’ motive was. But shouldn’t he just take advantage of the opportunity?
Logan spoke up now. “I can assure you that you have no need to worry. Should the option of crafting your own clothes be most acceptable to you, all we would do is provide the supplies. We could place them on the table for your use and the leave the room while you worked, but we could stay close enough to hear you if you needed something.”
Patton opened his mouth and shut it again. “O-okay,” he mumbled at last.
Logan was apparently satisfied with that response, as he simply went back to eating. Roman gave him what was probably meant to be a reassuring look, but Patton couldn’t help but notice how unhappy the human looked as he, too, resumed his meal.
Patton let out a long breath, relieved to no longer have their attention focused on him. He speared a bit of tofu on his fork. He didn’t know why Roman would be sad that Patton agreed to his idea. But then again, there were many things he didn’t understand about either of them.
…
After several minutes, Roman still hadn’t eaten much of his food. It hurt, honestly, that Patton was still afraid that they were going to do him harm. The little mouse-man’s body language made that clear. He knew he shouldn’t take it personally, but he couldn’t help it. Roman had been trying so hard to help him feel safe, and yet it sometimes felt like he was making no progress.
“I’m going to go get my fabric and things,” he announced softly. “For you to use.”
Roman got up without waiting for a response. He brought his bowl out into the kitchen and left next to the sink, then walked through the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. He knelt at the side of his bed and pulled out a cardboard box that was stored there. He scooped that up and brought it over to his desk.
He lifted up the lid and pawed through its contents. After a few moments, he paused, frowning in confusion.
Roman could have sworn that there had been more fabric in this box than there was now. It wasn’t a huge difference—just a handful of pieces; but some patterned buttons he liked, a small patch of lace, and a length of red string should all have been in here. It seemed like there might be more missing, as well, but Roman was unsure. The other absence of the other items that were missing—assuming any other items were, in fact, missing—didn’t immediately jump out at him. As for the ones that he was sure should have been in the box, Roman had no idea where they had gone. Maybe they had fallen out, or had gotten moved somewhere else? Roman wasn’t sure where else they could be, although it was true that it had been some time since he looked through this particular box. It was perfectly plausible that he had misremembered what was originally in it.
He looked through the supplies once more, then at the sides of the box itself. One of its seams had somehow popped out slightly, almost like it had been pulled or pushed. Roman would have thought that perhaps something had fallen on the box and popped it out, but the lid was untouched. He supposed it didn’t matter; it wasn’t an expensive box, and the hole wasn’t big. Still, Roman double checked the floor between the box’s place under his bed and the desk, to see if maybe the supplies had fallen out of the hole when he moved the box. No such luck.
Roman wasn’t disheartened. There should still be plenty here for the mouse-man to work with, including the miniature pair of fabric scissors that had come with a little sewing kit he had. They would still be comically large, but far more usable than a normally sized pair would be for someone like Patton.
‘Someone like Patton’. As he picked out items that Patton might want from the box, Roman shook his head in bewilderment. He didn’t even know what that meant. Neither he nor Logan knew what Patton was, and they probably never would. Granted, Roman didn’t care about the science-y, ‘evolution and biology of the mouse-man’-type stuff like Logan would, but he was plenty interested in the ‘how-the-heck-does-this-tiny-dude-exist’ side of things. He was curious. Of course he was.
Despite his burning curiosity, Roman didn’t mind if he never got an answer to his own questions. Or rather, he supposed he did, but he knew that taking care of the mouse-man was far more important. It wouldn’t be worth scaring Patton to satiate his curiosity. Roman wasn’t heartless. He had only known Patton for a few days—and he still barely knew him—but he already cared about him a great deal.
With a small pile of fabric, thread, and the tiniest needle and fabric scissors he owned, Roman returned to the living room.
…
Patton stared with wide eyes as the human, from his perspective, dumped a small mountain of fabric on the table. The gigantic hand left two more items at the mound’s side: a sewing needle and some scissors.
“You can have whatever you want from here,” Roman said, drawing Patton’s gaze back up to him. “And if you need anything else, just let me know. Okay?” He smiled uncertainly; but he didn’t seem to expect a response, as he went and sat back down without waiting for one.
Patton stared at the pile of fabric for a long moment.
“It’s not going anywhere,” Roman assured gently. Patton slowly looked away again, ducked his head, and went back to eating.
...
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#thomas sanders#sanders sides#patton sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#infinitesimal!sides#sanders sides fan fiction#fanfiction#ts fanfic#infinitesimal fic
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