#hes kind of on another level he gets rly deep into it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

icharchivist · 2 years ago

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andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei #ichareply #long post for ts

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garoujo · 2 years ago

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HOW LONG THEY LAST DURING NNN — BLUE LOCK

feat : nagi seishiro, kunigami rensuke, reo mikage, bachira meguru + itoshi sae

♱ warnings — f!reader, how long they last during no nut november, all characters written 18+, teasing, you call sae for some ‘help.’ / note. another one 4 u guys ! i rly got a sudden rush of motivation 4 these <3

・✶ ｡ﾟNAGI SEISHIRO — NOVEMBER 10TH

honestly nagi wasn’t really too fussed about the challenge, he’d heard a few of the guys talking about it in the changing room after practice and he’d got roped into doing it simply because ‘everyone else was.’ he thought it would be easier than it actually was, not realising just how severe the effect you have on him is — even just seeing the swell of your ass in those tiny shorts or having you pressed up against him while he slept was enough to have his cock throbbing and chasing release.

so nagi’s only idea was to sleep more, wake up to game and try not to let his mind wander to the tight hug of your cunt around him, milking all the cum from him that’s making his balls feel so fucking heavy right now. it’s like a boss fight in a game, he’s convinced himself with every mind-numbing throb — anything to distract him and push him to survive, level-up. although you still had to wake him up to eat, deciding to crawling into bed next to his sleeping figure to jostle him awake with a quick press of your lips against his cheek, it was his favourite way to be woken up, feeling you sweep the the snowy bangs out of his face as you let your fingertips bathe him in featherlight touches that make his nose twitch before he grunts.

nagi’s limbs are still thick with sleep when he wakes up, but his cock isn’t — feeling it throb immediately when his arms instinctively wrap around your waist, pulling you closer until his chest is flush against your own and he’s breathing deep in the crook of your neck. “seishiro..” you gasp with the first grind of his bulge against your body, letting you feel the heavy weight and the way he’s so uncomfortably hard and straining against his boxers. “ah—no fair.” he whines with the first touch of friction he’s longed so much for. “it’s stupid and a pain anyway.. just wanna feel you, pretty thing.” he continues and you can’t help but meet his eager humps with ones of your own, helping his clumsy palms at your body ease down your panties. “don’t wanna do it anymore, ‘ts only gonna get harder from here so i’ll pass.” cums in his pants before he can even put it in, but fucks you breathless after.

・✶ ｡ﾟ KUNIGAMI RENSUKE — NOVEMBER 21ST

kunigami was a competitive guy so ofcourse he was going to take part of everyone else was, but honestly he thought he would find it a lot easier than he actually does. the first few days are fine, kind of, he still can’t deny how fucking hot he thinks you are — he’s a little more agitated than usual, consistently rock fucking hard whenever he’s around you and really only has the energy to offer you grunts and groans as conversation.

if anything he trains even more, using all those built up hormones to try and take his mind off of it — but seeing him so sweaty only makes you miss him more. it isn’t until the third week that you can really see how much kunigami is struggling, he’s basically avoiding you because hes panting like a dog whenever you’re around, swallowing the carnal instincts he can feel burst along his skin that’s telling him to bend you over and lose himself in the addicting spread of your cunt around his fat cock.

you’re oh so oblivious to these thoughts though, making yourself busy as you clean the kitchen but the moment you choose to bend over to clean the countertop is so poorly timed when kunigami tries to move past you quickly to grab his protein shaker, groaning low and ragged when his hips accidentally brush your own — giving his cock some much needed attention. his hands are immediately on your waist, keeping you pressed and pinned beneath him as his chest cages you against the counter “fuck this, dumb fucking bet.” he grunts with another animalistic rut of his hips, clothed cock grinding against your cunt as he breathes deep and almost rips your sweats off—followed by his own. “as if i’d give up this fuckin’ pussy.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ REO MIKAGE — NOVEMBER 23RD

another one who ended up getting roped into one of the team bets, but honestly reo did a lot better than you expected him to do. it was only evident he was struggling when it got around three weeks in and his balls felt so fucking heavy, every little thing you did was like the sexiest thing he’d ever seen and he couldn’t help but chase every little touch from you, every little piece of friction that felt like electricity in his system — shooting straight through to his cock.

but you honestly began to think he might do it, until he came home after a particularly long day followed by a visit to his parent house. you can tell that reo’s tense immediately when he walks through the door, his eyes heavy and drowsy despite the way they still trail along your figure — only stopping when he sees the way you approach him draped in his shirt. “you okay? how was it?” you ask earnestly, resting your palms against his cheeks before you’re leaning in to press a quick kiss against his lips.

but reo has other plans when he can basically feel the heat of your body through his clothes, the chaste brush of your lips against his feels like fucking heaven and it’s almost unnaturally fast the way hes slamming his lips against yours again. “fuck, need you. now.” he grunts as his mouth moves messily with yours, making you gasp before he’s taking the opportunity to push his tongue between your lips — grazing it along your own as he swallows up the pretty sounds he’s been dying to hear for weeks now. “let me have you right here, fuck.. can’t wait any longer.”

・✶ ｡ﾟBACHIRA MEGURU — NOVEMBER 2ND

bachira doesn’t even make it through the second day before he’s failing, he’d really only agreed to it because he thought it would be fun — didn’t actually realise that he wouldn’t be able to touch you until he got home and seen you looking so pretty for him. he doesn’t even try, immediately sees you standing in his practice shirt, putting away the groceries and he’s immediately up against you.

“you’re gonna make me lose, baby. mhm, how am i supposed to resist you when you’re so cute.. no fair~” you try to spare bachira the humiliation honestly, doing your best to stay away from him around the house but he’s like a heat seeking missile driven purely by the throb in his cock. he’s palming at your ass and tits at every chance he gets, trying to pull you up against him just so he can feel you. “just lemme rub up on you a lil, kay? wont even cum.. just gotta feel it.”

the one time you finally give in is when he’s wrapped himself around you in the living room, nibbling playfully at your jawline as his hard cock strains against his shorts after practice. bachira’s rutting you into the couch beneath you like a wild fucking animal, breathing hard between breathless laughs as he sends you a look that’s a little wild, a little needy despite the way his lips curl into a smirk with the next languid roll of his hips “just keep this our lil secret, m’kay?” letting the head of his clothed cock catch under the hood of your clit through your panties so he can watch you twitch and gasp beneath him. “you’ve been teasing me, baby. how my s’posed to win when you’re cheating, hmm? been too long without your pussy.. need it so bad, mhm.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ ITOSHI SAE — NOVEMBER 28TH

sae was so close to making it the whole month, he was disciplined as always and would just spend extra time at practice, focuses on the ball rather than the weight in his. but you were so fucking pretty and he knew the effect you could have on him so easily, you weren’t someone who would just let him have this and you were specifically trying to rile him up recently, pushing at his buttons just to see how far he’d go.

even when you went to sleep, he’d deliberately resist cuddling up into you — just because he knows he wouldn’t be able to resist the swell of your ass being pressed so tight against him, even the thought makes him fucking throb. but he was lucky enough to be overseas for a few days with the team for a game nearing the end of november, or he thought that was lucky atleast.

“sae.. i miss you.” you gasp, something pretty through the speaker of your phone and the sound makes him press his own closer — cock twitching in his sweats as he sinks into the hotel bed beneath him. “what’re you doing, sweetheart?” sae’s voice is carefully neutral but he has to swallow a groan when he hears the first lewd squelch sound through his phone, listening to you sink your fingers into your cunt as you try to reach the spots he could so easily. “i can’t cum.. need your help, please!” you gasp and he hums like he’s not quite convinced despite the way he’s already pulling at his waistband, taking a slow handful of his cock with his next ragged exhale. “hm, and after you’ve been so well behaved.. i’ll need to deal with you when i’m home.” he grunts followed by a rough stroke of his fist along his cock that makes his toes curl. “but for now, sweetheart.. let me hear more of those pretty sounds.”

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed#blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk smut #bllk x you #nagi x reader #nagi smut #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae smut #reo x reader #reo smut #bachira x reader #bachira smut #kunigami smut #kunigami x reader

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hiraya-rawr · 2 years ago

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IM SO SORRY I JUST HAD THIS WORD VOMIT AND AAAAAA please don’t judge me (we love to see y/n winning in life with diluc and not cheater ayato mhhmhmhm thats right baby)

(Also English isn’t my first language so I’m so sorry if I misspelled something :;(∩´﹏`∩);:)

★彡

It’s one of those days where you have to put a front for the people that are silently but surely judging you and waiting for any chance of a mistake for your part, but you’ve oh so accustomed to it that it’s like second nature.

Or well, you thought it was.

He wasn’t someone who you had the pleasure to talk to, not even in these kind of events where all the most famous and powerful people met, but you have surely seen him; after all, it was hard to miss his vibrant red hair, completely a contrast of your husband’s. Speaking of which, he was busy talking with some lords and retainers that he didn’t have the time (nor the want) to take you with him and pose as the perfect couple, and so, you figured it wouldn’t be bad if you were to start a conversation with someone, right?

“Hello” you said as you approached the suddenly lone figure of the wine tycoon, who turned to face you and did a little bow as a form of respect “I believe we haven’t had the opportunity to introduce to each other, right? My name is-“

“I know who you are” his voice, deep but somewhat calm and steady, interrupted your little presentation. His face seemed surprised for a moment as he catched himself cutting you off, and so he bashfully closed his eyes for a moment. It seems he was a little excited to talk to someone who wouldn’t bother him to get some news or even his own advice on how to succeed in his field of work “My apologies, I shouldn’t have spoken so abruptly”.

At that you laugh softly, clearly noting that as much as he seemed so elegant and level headed, he still would have preferred to be somewhere else than here.

“Please don’t, it was just a little mistake, and I don’t mind it; but if you insist, how about we introduce to each other again?” You now smiled as you looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer, clearly unbothered by the looks some people were giving to you two.

“Of course” he said as he composed himself once again: proper pose, a bow and a kiss to your hand, just like his father teached him in the past “My name is Diluc Ragnvindr, a pleasure to meet you”. You wouldn’t deny that the action brought some heat to your face and a skip to your beat, but you had to appear as if it didn’t affect you.

“And I’m Kamisato (Y/N), the pleasure is mutual” and so you both smiled, almost forgetting that this was a public event, and that this kind of pleasantries weren’t banned but they also weren’t so smiled upon.

In the sea of eyes watching you two, a pair of lilac ones were staring, the person feeling suddenly a pang to their chest and a weird sentiment growing inside; is this what jealousy was? To see your supposed beloved in the hands of another? Or was this sentiment just causing pain because truth was the one inflicting it? The fact that someone seemed to click so much better with your partner than you with them…

Ah, Ayato wouldn’t know. At least, not yet.

// based on this drabble

please 🥹 this kind of complicated romance always ends up rly angsty my heart cant ishdjehdjhe thank you for sending it in, nicely put and i love the subtle chemistry aaaaaah

#hira prompt #genshin #diluc #ayato #diluc x reader #ayato x reader

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emilythecosmicbun · 4 years ago

Text

Creepypasta OCs.

Any updates information is on Wattpad WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge

TW BLOOD, ABUSE MENTION

cottontailprincess is my Instagram and Emilythecosmiccat is my username on some art websites.

They/Them pronouns please

do not sexualise me, my characters or my boyfriend please he isn’t comfortable with that.

okay so these are my two vent ocs.

Emily/Elliot (Bunny.)

one of them, as you know, is my impure agere oc, representing all the sad and flashback parts of everything. I made them to help cope with my thoughts and feelings. They are based off of my appearance and my trauma. They age up with me.

BASIC INFO

Full Name: Emily/Elliot Bunzelle but prefers just Emily or Elliot.

Nickname(s): Bunny, Emmy, El, Em, Princess, Prince, Princette

Meaning of name: Emily (from Urban Dictionary.) An Emily is someone who is crazy inside and out. She knows who her friends are and try’s hard to look after them. She is very pretty but doesn’t always know that. She isn’t always the most popular, but to her that doesn’t matter. She has friends from all ages and they all adore her. She hides her feelings however upsetting they may be.

Meaning of name: Elliot (Urban Dictionary) Elliot is a true master at caring. He teaches how to love and be loved. A man of honour a man of steal. He's as handsome as a Greek God, as strong as diamond, as compassionate as a saint and is as gentle as a father's touch. Elliot possesses a magic within to create a vision in the eyes of all, leaving them stunned at how brilliant and perfect Elliot truly is. A leader, a spirit lifter, a lover, a giver, an Elliot'll leave you speechless with his being, his essence.

Gender: Non-Binary

Pronouns: They/Them

Age:

Currently 19, same as IRL me, though they physically and mentally regress to younger ages, so their age varies. Their main ages are variants of 1+

Date of Birth:

August 21st (Body born in 2001)

Race/Species: English and a Spirit or Entity.

Native language: English (as in England English.)

Orientation/Sexual Preference: Bisexual Personality: Silly, playful, honest, caring, childish, bratty, stubborn, sweet.

Are They Dead: No but they aren't alive either. Somewhere in between.

Any Mental Health Issues?

C-PTSD, due to multiple traumatic events. They frequently experience multiple flashbacks and nightmares, and is usually terrified of leaving their safe space unless it’s with Stedge, even then, they panic.

Triggers: Listed Here. Triggers page on my Carrd.

Powers/Special Abilities: Can float slightly off the ground, is able to phase through walls, spew blood at will, and look "alive" when speaking and comforting children, or just around those they trust.

APPEARANCE:

Looks:

Very young child: Short but very curly/wavy brown hair, a bit lighter than when they are in older looking forms. They wear a pink dress with a white shirt under, and black school shoes. However, they can also just wear a sonic shirt and leggings, or a skirt.

Child: They can vary but their usual look is long curly/wavy brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, blood on their mouth and nose area, tired-looking eyes, pink dress, sometimes a nightgown, depending on the look, they can wear socks, bunny slippers or even go barefoot! Sometimes they wear bunny ears! Sometimes they like to wear sonic gear.

Teen: Depending on the age as a teen, at the point it's "kawaii" inspired things, sometimes just a Melanie Martinez shirt and pants (or skirt), sometimes overalls! They also wore band merch, stuff like that. They have either long brown hair, black hair or multicoloured hair like Melanie Martinez (dyed in variants such as pink, red, blonde (more like light ginger.)

Adult: Band tops, but also ones with cute designs on such as bunnies or kittens, sometimes overalls or dresses, sometimes even onesies, since they can still have the traits of an agere headspace. Short Brown hair, is a lot chubbier than the rest, can be considered mid or plus size.

Height: Varies depending on form and age, but usually smol.

Weight: (UNKNOWN BUT IT VARIES.)

Hair color: Dark brown/Brown

Eye color: Brown

Scars and/or skin conditions: Has a few bruises and a few cuts in some places, but I prefer to not draw them.

Has a skin condition called psoriasis. (I have it IRL.)

Never Seen Without: White Bun, and their three Cream The Rabbit plushies.

Likes:

• Things with peaches (the fruit) on them. (Including peaches and peach ice tea.)

• Bunnies

• Their Caregiver, Stedge.

• Drawing, and colouring in.

• The colour pink.

• Sonic The Hedgehog.

• Porcelain Dolls

• Stuffed Animals

Dislikes:

• Abusers (including physical, mental and sexual abusers.)

• Those who take advantage of vulnerable people.

• People who don’t take them seriously.

• Drama.

• Being abandoned or left alone.

Relationships:

Stedge - Partner in crime, best friend, caregiver and lover. (Depending on age of course.)

Cream.exe (Sally.exe game) - practically twinning, bunny loves to hang out with cream.exe. (my highest kin, apart from cream herself.)

Family Members - Depending on which member, they do have a good bond or a negative one. Bunny loves them on different levels, some of them, they hate. This does not reflect on how (I myself) feel about said family members.

(If you want your creepypasta oc to be friends with Bunny, just ask!)

OTHER INFO:

• They age up with my current age since they aren't dead and they are based off of me.

• I decided to make them some sort of entity since I couldn’t make them a ghost and still be alive lol they age up with me.

•Their “trauma” is the same as mine, which is why I won’t write it in detail here but they are a victim of abuse.

• They are all bloody because its how I feel about my trauma.

• They physically and mentally regressed to the age they are supposed to be, if they are in their child forms, they are an actual child. (Direct reference to my age regression I use to help me cope with my trauma) They prefer to be in this form so they can protect and befriend children. They don't harm children or other victims of abuse. The children usually call them “bunny.”

• When they're in their adult form, they have a partner called Stephen. Someone who they have known since they were 17 years old. When they are a “child” he takes care of them and protects them to make sure they don't ever get hurt again.

• Their sense of justice is what caused them to want to help other children. They never want to see another child go through what they went through.

Any Other Info is on the Picture.

Stedge

Well, I also made a creepypasta oc to represent my boyfriend, someone who I love and trust to help me during those horrible times. He’s like my partner in crime. lmao also his age isn’t rly there because he ages up with his real life counterpart, which will get updated.

REMINDER TO NOT SEXUALISE HIM AS MY BOYFRIEND IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT.

BASIC INFO:

Name: Stephen

Nickname(s): Stedge, Mr. Bubbles (by Emily/Elliot.)

Meaning of name: Stephen The most beautiful boy in existence. Has stunning eyes, that make your heart fall through the floor when they crinkle with his perfect smile. Is deep, unlike most boys, and extremely intelligent. Has a big heart, and he doesn't realize when he's being taken for granted. Even though he would never admit it, he sometime's can't see what's right in front of him. An over-analyzer, and very stubborn, but he will admit defeat when he has to. Likes to drive girls crazy, apparently. Easy to fall in love with. Hard to figure out.

Gender: Male

Age: Ages up with IRL person. Currently: 19.

Date of Birth:

9th April

Race/Species: English, Human.

Native language: UK English.

Orientation/Sexual Preference: Straight

Are They Dead: No

Any Mental Health Issues? No, None that we know of.

Triggers: None that we know of.

Powers/Special Abilities:

He doesn't have many powers but he athletic and can run quick and has a good amount of strength. He uses a bat and other various stuff.

APPEARANCE:

Looks:

Short brown hair, brown eyes, a bit of facial hair, variants of a black or dark grey shirt, but obviously not only those, sometimes they’re ripped.

Hair color: Dark brown, brown.

Eye color: Brown.

Scars: None.

Personality: He is quite intelligent and mature, behaves childishly in front of Emily/Elliot, cold and serious, is kind, polite, protective.

Hobbies and Likes: • playing the guitar

• skate (skateboarding)

• listening to tunes

• spending time with Emily/Elliot.

Dislikes:

• Abusers, people who take advantage of vulnerable people.

• People who are cruel to Emily/Elliot.

Relationships: Bunny - Best friend, soulmate, would do anything to make bunny smile, frequently gets them stuffed toys and food.

EXTRA INFO:

He is a few months older than me in IRL, his age is 19 right now, along with mine but will be updated.

Stephen is a human, and helps take care of Emily (in their child forms.) since they are a child and very vulnerable in that state due to their trauma, when they’re adult they are romantic towards each other.

They work together as a team when bashing and killing abusers. While he uses physical means, Emily uses mental.

Any Other Info is on the Picture.

WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge

#my art #agere #sfw agere #creepypasta oc #creepypasta #impure regression #creepypasta child #child oc #bunny #sally.exe #sally exe #sonic exe

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angeltrapz · 3 years ago

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saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

#thank u so much I love getting asks frm u!!!!!!#mutual support hours <3 #saw #eric #adam #art #daniel #others r mentioned #listen. a family can be u yr dad n his two boyfriends n yr all traumatized but yr coping together.#it pulls u together instead of tearing u apart.#which is a concept I desperately wish we could've seen more!! it's what they all deserved damn it!!#long post #asks #gnna go thru n tag these w that so I can like. maybe make a masterpost l8r?#if any1 is interested in tht!

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constablegoo · 4 years ago

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@astralglam filed a report .

mint: does your muse view themself as virtuous & moral? what do these words mean to them?

OHOHO. hey hi ily. this is, of course, one of odo’s deepest ongoing battles, and the moment he stops questioning it is the moment he becomes a founder.

the founders grant themselves god status. GOD! status. they just reach out and pluck it. Within their range of power, the founders become unquestionably Just and Virtuous and Moral, their Word becomes Law, it becomes “the way things are” and “fact” and they create their own reality stemming from thousands of years of intense xenophobia. they’re above it all. gods don’t make mistakes, right? sure, maybe changelings were hunted and feared ages ago but they still fear it, and that drive for Order and Control over the galaxy is now encoded into their genes and they place a companion structure into the genes of every other species they control, subjugating them to the founders’ own cozy position as Gods, or-- ‘gods’. the founder (i rly don’t like saying “female” founder so she’s THE Founder. she speaks for the link.) makes it quite clear on many occasions that the founders are not here to negotiate. they fully intend to control EVERYTHING at any cost. it is absolutely chilling when she cuts garak down with: “they’re dead. you’re dead. cardassia is dead.” and draws the line between the dominion and everyone else miles deep into the sand.

that same genetic coding is one of the first semi-concrete things odo comes to understand about himself and, horribly, he’s landed into conditions under the occupation that very easily could have taken advantage of a less meticulous or stubborn changeling. no, odo says initially (and incorrectly), i am not bajoran** and i am not cardassian and i stand apart from either side of this conflict and so i am bound to PURE Virtue and Morality because of it. he can’t be bribed or bought or won over, and he won’t allow for anything less than a kind of incorruptibility. this effectively wins him allies (and enemies) on both sides, however -- that’s just not how the universe works. the truth of it is that no matter how much he tells himself he is not a part of their regime, his working with the cardassians makes him a collaborator in that he has then recognized their authority and ultimately upheld their legitimacy, even if he never agreed with the cause, even if he was also on some level a casualty of it. at some point when he moves past ‘contract’ investigation and begins to work permanently, he falls into the trap of thinking Order is the same thing as Justice... huge yikes. in that moment he becomes a true and apathetic villain, but he’s subsequently haunted by the resulting execution of innocents. it shakes something up in him. years pass and he still wonders, what other mistakes has he made? what other less direct consequences of his ‘neutral’ arbitration exist? he (and everyone around him) has to live without really knowing, and it’s a constant reminder to him of the power he holds and it informs his understanding of what Real (and imperfect) Justice Means.

**sidenote but later in s7 he introduces himself as ‘from bajor’ and AAAAAA. its good. very good. yeah, you’re bajoran, odo. he gets it now.

Mirror odo is really the ultimate example of an odo having taken those instincts to extremes in an environment that rewarded him for them -- there is no guilt there, and even a sadistic kind of pleasure in it. i’d argue that gaia!odo is another, less extreme example of an odo who’s been alone too long and lost sight of things when he single-mindedly (and against kira’s wishes) chooses her (one person) over 8000. like holy shit? NOT ok? uhhuhhhhfff. anyway. very fortunately, neither of these are OUR odo, but act as great foils to reflect on the worst (bastard cop) qualities or potential qualities of our goo pushed to highly visible extremes, which star trek just loves to do all the time.

but regular/prime odo isnt exactly a rule-follower, either. throughout his life, he frequently takes things into his own hands, uses his abilities to his advantage, spies, wiretaps, eavesdrops, and yes, harasses [quark] sometimes -- he develops his own set of values and personal rules and follows them; even starfleet comes in wary of him and how he operates and hes on thin ice. but because of possibly his most redeeming quality, odo is able to adapt those self-ordained values toward something increasingly honest: for how rigid he can be in personality, he is HIGHLY influenced by the world around him, listens hard to what his friends and allies have to say and adapts that feedback; this allows him to evolve and grow and take important matters to heart. he becomes more flexible and better able to hold onto what’s really most important after locking into a decision, because above all else, he is passionately committed to doing the Right Thing. he PLEADS with himself in things past, “your job is to find the truth, not obtain convictions.” by his tendency to push back against what is laid down as ‘law’ (something he becomes more and more aware of and effective at doing) as not always being good or right, or necessarily even creating Order (the thing he’s driven genetically to want), he prepares himself to challenge the most deadly voice of authority -- that of his own people.

so... yes and no. odo’s role and persona as ‘your average security chief’ might dictate that he be virtuous and moral, but he so obviously can’t fit the same exact mold as others in his position -- he has these insane abilities and this mind-consuming nature and it requires he tread with extra care, but he also has a potential for more adaptive, more nuanced morality. he has to build up his own definitions to the words, constantly examine and tease and test them, or else he risks straying too far from what he really wants to achieve -- harmony, honest justice. he has to accept that he’s a part of the system he operates in (not, in fact, alone or isolated! something he actually wants), and know that he is not exempt from making the wrong choice, just like anybody else.

carnation: what is your muse’s relationship with their gender? how do they express or not express this relationship?

ODO AND GENDER!!! i love odo and gender. let’s take this one step at a time. he starts out as an amorphous glob -- he has no gender. there’s no basis for assignment, no culture of difference, and all the goos are goo. odo takes on the shape of the first living thing he sees / the thing he sees most frequently: dr mora. he adopts an image of masculinity from mora and he adopts the hair. that’s about it, and it’s pretty much arbitrary. (maybe the hair is simple enough for his skills, too?) the next people odo meets are also these very masculine, military, cardassian leaders, so again -- this is all he knows! this is neutrality. i imagine it takes him some time to work out what the differences in gender are, and sex, and orientation, romantic vs sexual stuff, all of that. it’s all got cultural baggage he knows nothing about and does not experience, and he’s also dealing with multiple, clashing cultures to boot. since he doesnt have any strong inherent leaning, he simply opts out. he/him becomes his default because thats where he started, thats what he’s been able to successfully present and how people know him, and, terrifyingly, under cardassian rule, it probably offered a bit of safety, too, which was obviously something he needed at the time.

way way way way way down the line in season seven, odo asks kira to (paraphrasing) look at me. what do you see? [i see you.] but this is NOT me, this is only a shape ive assumed in order to fit in. she says, yes, i know that. but this is who you have chosen to be. “a man. a good and honest man.” (i knowww shes not really talking abt gender here BUT) its hard as a trans person not to read the metaphor. he’s chosen to express SOMETHING. he’s chosen something other than what he was given (neutrality) and although he doesnt personally buy into what ‘masculinity’ “should be” (ie the ferengi, smh) / would certainly not argue he doesnt feel non-binary, this is how he has presented all his life, its how hes been treated, and it is what he has chosen to adhere to. there’s a choice in that, kira’s right, and now it reflects something about him.

parallel this, i’ll mention the “female” founder again bc of course there is no discernable reason for her to have a gender -- other than to appeal (im not talking sexually here although there’s,, obviously weird shit happening with the link... yike) to odo in the sense that until that point odo has lived with “gendered” individuals and, i think importantly, kira is with them when they first meet. i think its safe to say the founder saw her, figured she was a friend/ally to odo or at least familiar to him, and took her general representation to appeal as a friend/ally.

otherwise... why, honestly? the founder’s got NO love of humanoids lmao why would she bother.

anyway i’d like to see odo experiment a bit. because when hes safe, he can!! aside from his own doubts and insecurities about shapeshifting, at some point he really has no reason not to, at least a little bit. really, it should just be another thing to practice, much like becoming a convincing rock or a leaf, its just that there are other significances in the cultures around him. i’d just like to see him loosen up a little. have fun. grow ur hair out a bit, odo, why are u still looking like ur terrible dad.

#astralglam #geez ok anyone who reads these are gods #thanks for letting me let some frogs out of my brain #like a lot of frogs #⌀ EVERY SIXTEEN HOURS I TURN INTO A LIQUID! [ about. ]#⌀ YOU HAVE NO SECRETS FROM ME. [ asks. ]#long post /#long as hell post /#sorry hopefully everyones asleep i dont wanna do readmore bc im a nuisance asjdfa

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letsfluxshitup · 4 years ago

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Okay I have slept and am signifcantly more coherent so! I do have more thoughts on the fic :] ik I should probably just comment these.... ON the fic.... but you know I’m already in this ask box so really I might as well just chill out here

I forgot to talk about it last night but I do like the mentioning of the whole Schlatt resurrection arc thing and the way it’s handled with these specific characters? Narratively you could have made Techno like ‘wait what no. don’t do that’ but in reality he WOULDN’T. It’s true that all everyone (w/ a couple exceptions) does is dictate what he’s supposed to do for them, or he gets manipulated into it, and I imagine that would be exhausting after awhile! And even IF resurrecting a dictator is, like, an objectively bad decision on Quacks’ part, it’s still his decision, isn’t it? Techno going off w/ Phil and not really siding with anyone else is a conscious decision on his part, and while it’s not like. Super explored in the fic I imagine Quackity has issues w/ his own level of control as well? Like, clearly he’s used to being bossed around for everything he does, and he wants Techno to be like Schlatt in the sense that he tells him exactly what he’s *supposed* to do, but the fact that Big Q is under the assumption that there’s an action he’s ‘supposed’ to take is flawed in the first place. This ramble got out of hand sorry I just LOVE how u portrayed this

‘“Oh? Quackity?” Philza paused, before whispering, “ The loud one with the messy wings? ”’ MDNDKDKD I LOVE U PHIL..... honestly the fact that Techno actively talks about Quackity to his dad is <3 but the fact that his biggest takeaway FROM Techno talking abt him is that he’s loud and his wings are a mess is even BIGGER <333 Techno why would you do Quackity like that

I’d LOVE to see more Philza and Quackity moments,, their dynamic is so fun (tho in a different way than Techno n Quackity’s) is and it makes me smile to read back over their stuff :] I love how Phil does get a significant amt of fun in fucking with Big Q (truly, like father like son) but still very clearly approves of him as a person? Like, I imagine Quackity isn’t really all that sure how Phil feels about him. ‘I’m pretty sure your dad hates me, dude.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ Techno asks, bewildered, ‘I’ve never seen him obviously like anyone this fast.’ Like, Phil would make it pretty obvious if he didn’t, I think? The man can be much scarier than what Quackers got rly it’s a blessing. I could probably rant abt their dynamic more but I’m a sane person I promise lol </3

Small thing but honestly with the way Techno clearly constantly takes care of Big Q’s wings for him bc he’d prefer to do it himself and then PHIL doing it I’m starting 2 think Quackity just. Doesn’t know how to groom his own wings. Like Techno he’s not a baby bird he should do it himself. But also... I care them :,] the fact that Techno can take care of Q’s wings and Quackity can braid Techno’s hair and they trust each other w/ that... I know the reasons for it are obvious bc Quackity trusts easily and Techno clearly doesn’t see Big Q as someone who could be a threat but it’s still making me soft,,

The little impromptu therapy make-up session was a rly good display of both of their characters :] Quackity’s awful at handling like, any tension whatsoever with anyone so him taking way less than a day to go ‘hhhrhdh can we talk it out’ even tho he hates talking about feelings? Like he’s making an attempt at maturity and Techno’s going w/ it even thi neither of them are really comfortable with all that :] they value their friendship sm no one talk to me

Also I agree w/ u on the Techno characterization thing! Techno can definitely do jokes and drop the serious murder man act every once in awhile but the way he plays his character is v like. Blunt in everything. He doesn’t rly lash out, his ideals are consistent, and even when he’s planning chaotic attacks on other people nothing abt the way he acts really changes it’s just,, Techno but you should probably run away rn. His personality rly should be given more kudos it’s lovely

This didn’t rly fit anywhere else in the ramble but I do love how clearly nervous the ppl in Techno’s family make Quackity. Like, it’s a little different w/ Tommy n Tubbo but they’re also? Literal children? And even Tommy has that ‘tall scary child’ vibe abt him whenever he gets worked up LMAO Like, you have Mr. Blade, who is very strong and could DEFINITELY kill you if he wanted to, Wilbur, who is a dramatic theatre kid but once he goes off the deep end it’s like. You might be able to take him in a fight but if he wants you dead he REALLY wants you dead, and Phil, who the other two clearly got the feral part of their personalities from and somehow manages to be even scarier despite the fact that he’s an all-around polite guy. Quackity is just a normal anxious dude can he please go five minutes w/o coming face-to-face with another generally terrifying figure in his life who could kill him easily but won’t bc he’s so small?? I love them :] u rly do have a good eye for dynamics!

Also I’m proud of u for sleeping the normal 8 hours!! But Xena :pensive: ma’am please get some rest it’s very important >:[

- Saturn 🪐

,mjxcnvm,vxnvfkdjf ilysm i love getting your thoughts heart FULL

- IM GLAD THE ‘BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO’ PART CAME ACROSS WELL I WAS REALLY WORRIED I DIDNT ARTICULATE IT GOOD ENOUGH :D

- noone: -- Techno: is anyone gonna bully quackity-;; i didnt consider the implications of philza knowing quackity bc hes loud and needs his wings groomed but now that youve brought this to light im KDSFKJDSFDLSKFJDSLKJFDS

- ALSO I WAS REALLY WORRIED ABT THE PHILZA PARTS IDK IF I SAID THAT BEFORE ADDING HIM TO THE STORY WAS KIND OF A RANDOM DECISION ALSKDJFLKSDJ

xenas last comment was the nail in the coffin when it came to adding phil oh my god alsdjkflsdkjfslkdfj

- “ they value their friendship sm no one talk to me “ Y E S;;; idk im really into character dynamics thats like “listen we need to figure it out i cant live like this ok” also characters who are just Bad at talking about their feelings are Good and Important To Me LKDJFLSKJFDSLKJF

- “ his didn’t rly fit anywhere else in the ramble but I do love how clearly nervous the ppl in Techno’s family make Quackity. “ YOURE MAKING ME WANT TO WRITE MORE SBI FAMILY DYNAMICS WITH QUACKITY IM ALSKJFASLDKFSDLKFJSDFK IF YOU (or anyone) HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR PROMPTS HIT ME THE FUCK UP

- “ u rly do have a good eye for dynamics! “

I TRY REALLY HARD OK;;; character relationships are like . priority number one for me and it makes my heart so incredibly full when people point out that they like my dynamics ok i try so hard--

also im devastated to announce that for some reason last night me and xena apparently switched sleep schedules, she slept for a reasonable amount of time and i slept for like four hours lkajdflksjfdlksdfjsdlkjf sometimes i wake up at 5am and my brain refuses to let me sleep again </3

#long post #just in case #ilysm saturn please continue to dump in my askbox ilysm you dont even understand how excited i get aslkdfjlksdfjlsdfkj #saturn anon #heart FULL

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litt1edeath · 5 years ago

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Valentine’s Day

first off sorry i’ve been so mia life is throwing a tidel wave of obstacles my way. i’m trying to work through them but it’s tough so here i am with henry head canons to help me through it. i promise i will work on the asks in my inbox cross my heart 🤧🤞🏽

this one probably isn’t up to par bc it’s rushed and it’s already midnight but hush it’s for the holiday- one i’m not a big fan of but happy v days, i’m a single pringle like my boomer babey 😌🥰

you’ve both been dating for a couple years let’s just get that out of the way. he could never manage to pin down a day to celebrate the holiday together.

so naturally you both just sent one another texts and cute pics to tie over the need and wrapped the whole night up by falling asleep on the phone together. even if timezones were wacky.

though this time it’s different, the first time to ever celebrate together in person. it was nerve wrecking, not just for you but henry as well.

You go about your day like normal, doing all the tedious, usual tasks to keep yourself busy.

having planned his v day gift in advance there was a trail of roses carefully lining the little rug to lead towards the dining room.

it was a hard feat to do considering kal kept picking petals up or zipping and running around they scattered about.

after his mid day jog however he calmed down. so you busied yourself preparing a little festivities of v day balloons.

it was frustrating considering you were new to this (or never celebrated it quite as often) with the balloons awkwardly in the air and your voice a high pitch you celebrate the war won.

henry’s end he lied about having work, all a rouse as he went to pick up flowers (one could never go wrong with unless you’re allergic, then however omit this portion).

they’re your favorite kind.

stopping by a shop to pick up a variety of chocolates, the ones you didn’t want he was happy to eat not being that picky an eater with sweets he just didn’t part take in em regularly.

one last stop to collect an order of a custom made bracelet to match his own pinky ring. the chain was golden with the etching of the design his ring had. on the inside was a sweet quote of “be mine.”

henry makes the drive home quick. mostly for the sake of the melting chocolates and flowers to get to a source of water. it wasn’t rly urgent per say, he just couldn’t wait to see the surprise on your face.

you knew he had something but he didn’t crack at all under precious- not even during sexy time (due to both of you losing track and getting into the cardio).

the car pulling up on the gravel is what gains your attention, running around in a near panic the door opens unceremoniously to you in one of his turtle necks.

it falls at your mid thigh bc he’s such a giant.

henry’s eyes start to the top of your head, a slight smile showing off one dimple at the ruffled bed hair. to the way the shirt dips around your cleavage till it hands losely around your thighs.

he doesn’t miss the way you rub your lips together running away with a blush across your cheeks. all you hear is a deep chuckle in response.

the little rose petals are what he takes into consideration, following the elaborate path to your shared kitchen/dining room.

henry sees you fiddle around for a vase filling it with water, you accept the bouquet placing it in the cool water. messing with the arrangement to distract yourself.

his warm hands circle your middle, tucking you close to his sculpted frame you squeak delightfully. his breath breezes along your neck as he slides the chocolate onto the table.

that catches your eyes, filtering which would be his and yours. the task topped with him feathering kisses from your ear- to the side of your neck till he rests at the dip where neck meets shoulder.

one hand reaches up to mess his hair up like yours, the other intertwining with his other at your abdomen.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Valentine.” is what he mutters all sweet, deep and sultry.

you hum, head tilting to kiss his forehead repeating the words but with dork at the end. you weren’t a sweet.

he laughs again lifting you up in a twirl and you join his laughter.

henry fills you in on how he didn’t really have work, to which you punch him in the shoulder. the others being lighter jabs, after he showers you in enough kisses yours complacent.

being the skilled kisser he is you were weak to them. has he not latched the bracelet onto your left wrist you wouldn’t have broken the make out session.

he smiles toothy at- one would assume is exaggerated but it wasn’t. to the shimmering gold bracelet that dangles some but fit your wrist perfectly so it would never slip off.

you pounce him again, arms around his neck as your noses bump with the messy kiss and many “thank yous”

carefully henry sets you down eyes closed expecting a gift in return. you pretend a sheepish expression he looks near to being hurt.

when kal bursts into the room with a bag in his mouth. covered in bright pink and red hearts on a white back drop. the sweet puppers drops the bag before you.

henry doesn’t move till you tilt you head for him to go ahead. so he opens the bag, with a disgruntled ew at kal’s slobber getting on it some.

the wrapping that’s abit excessive is set aside, till he sees a plastic packaging. he has the most adorable shocked expression ever as you cheer clapping.

he puts it to the table, lifts you into his arms and twirls around. you hang on for dear life watching as you’re now grounded again and he’s tearing open the item.

it’s the new headset he’s always wanted for gaming.

at that your day is complete. ordering some take out because you both can’t be bothered. you just want to hop online to world of war craft and venture the world taking quests and leveling up. throughout the rest of the couples holiday.

at night fall theres light canoodling, nothing too intense but still the affection and love is all there it’s enough to help you both fall asleep tucked close to one another.

#henry cavill as your boyfriend #henry cavill #henry cavill headcanons #henry cavill headcanon #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x you #soft headcanons #soft boi #couple #valentine’s day #valentine’s day headcanons #kal is here #i tried okay?#my brains dead im sorry #i miss henry

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

#nothingunrealistic1 #you know that's my On Brand query lol.....the three dozen ways of annoyed i probably am / have been on any given day

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aqvarius · 4 years ago

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I hope the rmd mc for kasumi is a bit different cuz she rly be hittin on my last nerve and I don’t think she would rly v✨i✨b✨e with kasumi in her current given state

i’ve decided i need to play matsunaga and cc before getting a better sense of the eicu guys but honestly some of these recent asks feel like my own brain jumped out of my head and started sending me anon asks lmao bc i totally agree. anyway i know it’s a controversial opinion to not like the rmd mc and i’m TRYING to be fair and put aside my bias against her and try to analyse what exactly it is that i don’t like, but yeah i just don’t really find that she has romantic chemistry with the characters (that i’ve read, i.e. takado and hosho). not that anyone ever asked for this, buuuuuut this ask has basically triggered yet another mc rant so stop reading here or get ready and settle down with some popcorn lmao.

DISCLAIMER: this is all just my personal opinion! and i’m sure many of you will disagree with me. please place a “i think/believe/feel” before every claim i make as everything i say here is just my own feeling towards her. i also need to disclaim that i have only properly read takado and hosho’s routes (bc i’m still...mad at sen’s route, and i’ve only made it through one chapter of matsunaga so far) and i understand (and fully subscribe to) the idea that mcs read differently depending on the route as well. and as always, please don’t let my opinions affect your own enjoyment of any characters or titles that you love!

ALSO as i was writing this, i went back and read my previous rant about her and i realised that i’m more or less reiterating the same points i made there but in a (hopefully) more structured and slightly more developed manner whoops.

so here’s almost 3000 words and a whole bunch of screenshots under the cut because i don’t want to spam everyone’s dashboards with my unprompted Opinions(tm).

so anyway i’ve been thinking it’s a translation/tone thing. when i have the time/energy, i might sit down and really try to analyse the actual language, but just going off my intuition, i think maybe it’s because:

1. sometimes they choose to express something idiomatically and so that tone doesn’t come across as sincere. this isn’t a real example, but let’s think about the difference in tone between “oh no!” and “yikes”. because of modern day vernacular, we kind of associate “yikes” with a sarcastic and judgmental tone, whereas “oh no!” might connote a more genuinely concerned reaction. so sometimes i think that the use of very contemporary vernacular (which, lbr, trends towards a more sarcastic tone in general bc us gen z kids are mean) results in a lack of sincerity which makes the mc come across as a little more callous and less... actually kind and nice? i did get the feeling that hlitf mc has recently swayed towards this sort of tone as well and suspected that they had the same translator (which was confirmed later in a voltage Q&A). i’m definitely #biased but i can forgive this more because we had a good amount of content with her being adorable before the tone switch so i have a pre-established impression of her in my mind.

by the way, i just want to say that while i do have this critique, i do really admire and respect the voltage translation and localisation team (and am... super indebted to them) and i do think they do fantastic translations generally.

anyway, i believe this linguistic issue is at least partially responsible for my personal perception of the rmd mc’s personality that i expand on in the succeeding points, but my next point has more to do with the writing and characterisation of the most recent wave of mcs.

2. rmd mc has very few visible vulnerabilities. i think this is one of my biggest qualms with the new title mcs like rmd, destind and mk but i think stories are at their best when you get to see the mc fail and be vulnerable and wallow. the reason why i love certain mcs - particularly the ones whose titles and storylines centre around their careers (hlitf, irresistible mistakes, my last first kiss, scandal, celebrity darling, kiss of revenge, sleepless, otbs, arguably msb, etc.) - is because we get to see them fail and then grow. not only that, but you often get to see the relationship between the mc and the love interest deepen in these moments. but if you have a ‘perfect’ mc, then there’s no room for growth, so plotlines are forced to fall back on drama and trauma on the love interest’s side which... is exactly what rmd and mk do.

this is not to say that rmd mc doesn’t make mistakes, because she certainly does, but i don’t find that they’re ever genuinely serious mistakes. for example, think about hlitf mc’s repeated mistake in season 1 of going after small crimes without seeing the bigger picture and thus potentially messing up an entire investigation. they allow her that space to mess up and be completely wrong for public safety. then they give her the time to be self-reflective and run away back to nagano really think about what her mistakes are, and where to go from there. she is confronted with humbling failure, and is forced to address issues about her own pride/ego, and matures into someone who has a more nuanced idea about justice. on the other hand, rmd mc never has to (consistently, afaik) go through a genuinely humbling experience, so she her pride/ego/arrogance never gets seriously called into question. maybe this is because the premise of rmd has to do with life and death and they don’t want to make it seem like she’s directly responsible for someone’s death, but hlitf also deals with life and death issues and the mc learns that if she messes up to save one civilian, she may actually be jeopardising the lives of tens or hundreds or more.

anyway, taking takado’s route as an example, because this was our exposure to her as a character, the most frustrating thing is the way that she tries to lecture takado that he’s wrong about his attitude towards amputations, and never actually has to personally experience the potentially disastrous consequence of putting her ideology into practice. i think i would have enjoyed the route a lot more if she had gone over his head and naively made the decision not to do an amputation and then the person ended up dying or having to have a larger section amputated all because she was like uwu we can’t just cut off people’s limbs without waiting. i think if that situation had happened, we could have seen her actually have to confront her own naiveté and realise that she’s a noob and too idealistic and that reading a lot of medical journals does not translate to having actual field experience and intuition and who is she to question him like that when she knows nothing. she only realises that omg... we may have to consider some things with something called nuance... basically when more of takado’s backstory is revealed.

(maybe this is because i work in academia so it extra-frustrates me, but omg if i had to one-on-one mentor a student like her, i would genuinely go nuts. she reminds me of some students that some colleagues and i have had where they “well, actually” at everything you say bc they read some stuff on reddit or twitter that has absolutely not been proven through practical application of, or research conducted through the lens of, their theory. like imagine i told my advisors “despite being experts in [their respective fields] and having written numerous very important books, you’re wrong because i don’t agree but i have never myself conducted proper research to counter that!!”)

basically i wish they treated takado’s route like kaga’s routes (bc lbr takado and kaga are maybe... the same person?). look at the self-reflection here:

and here:

she does get down on herself at times, but look at the way that she humbly accepts her mistakes. sometimes she wallows on her mistakes, as anyone would, but look at the way she examines her failures and turns that feeling of inadequacy into motivation to work harder and smarter.

by the way, these screenshots are from his ms1 and ms2 - so pretty early on - and we get to see her learn from these mistakes because she’s allowed to make them. we also get to learn more about kaga’s strictness and his kindness because of these mistakes.

i don’t know if the whole refusal to allow rmd mc to make significant errors is a response to readers who are like “omg.... why are voltage mcs so weak, why can’t they be perfect women who never get anything wrong” but ANYWAY i just feel like they never confront or address her hubris properly.

3. following on from point 2, i find her one-dimensional. i’ve mentioned this before in a rant, but i don’t find her to be a very deep character bc to me, she reads as mostly surface level sass. i said: “her dialogue with them often reads as like they put 100 points in “snark” and 0 points in any other personality trait” lmao. so she’s great in one-off screenshots where you can see her bite back with a very screenshottable one-liner, but i find it tiring to have 30 chapters of her just literally running her mouth. because of this constant tone that they keep giving her, i find it really difficult to see any emotional depth in her character. because she’s the perspective character, her internal dialogue is just as, if not more, important as the love interest’s external dialogue in terms of carrying the emotional weight of falling in love, and i just don’t understand how there’s any sense of two people falling in love and getting to know each other when every sentence out of her mouth is just sass. can you imagine you meet someone and you get to know them but never have any genuine conversations bc every line out of your mouth is sarcastic? like your date is opening up and telling you about some difficulties he’s going through (which i’m sure you all know is a very vulnerable and scary thing to do) and instead of being empathetic and kind and understanding, you’re just like “sucks to be you dude”. and instead of saying “you don’t need to carry everything on your shoulders”, you say “you’re STUBBORN and i’m RIGHT”. OF COURSE i’m being kind of hyperbolic here (not even that much tho, see screenshots below) but that’s basically the tone she constantly takes.

so when takado opens up about the rina thing, instead of being like “oh shit i’ve been judging him all this time and i’m genuinely sorry because i didn’t know a thing about you and yet i’ve been running my mouth”, she says “your head is as hard as a rock ya know?” and then KEEPS GOING.

where’s the empathy sis? where is it? i’m looking but i can’t find it.

EVEN TAKADO WAS LIKE “I WAS TRYING TO TALK SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT”

and then the writers just push off her rudeness as like “it’s okay it’s chill!! takado laughed about it afterwards and it made the issue sound insignificant!!” even tho it’s obviously an extremely traumatic thing? WHY does he even fall in love with her??? i don’t UNDERSTAND alsdkfjs she has NO FEELINGS!! i just want genuinely romantic moments... is that too much to ask... it’s called romance md...

once again, let’s compare that to hlitf mc, when she finds out about kaga’s trauma. literally the FIRST reaction she has is to consider his feelings.

without even hearing his side of the story, she defends him because she trusts him and immediately empathises with him and the first thing she does is try to understand him and where he’s coming from.

later on, when she hears him just dismissing things and playing callous, she actually cries on his behalf, which shocks him because he’s not used to people caring about him:

isn’t that a MASSIVE difference in reaction to essentially the same character opening up about their trauma? which do you find more conducive to developing emotional intimacy? in my opinion, it’s so much easier to fall in love with someone who supports you and has your back and trusts and believes in you and tries to understand you and can have a genuinely caring conversation with you when you need it. by the way, it’s not like kaga’s mc doesn’t sass him either! they have great bantery chemistry and she shit-talks him ALL THE TIME (a lot of the time under her breath and he’s like HUH? it’s great).

and yet... we still actively see her caring about him... instead of being like WHOOPS my tongue slipped, i can’t help that i’m naturally insubordinate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

by the way, i’m not trying to put the onus on female characters/heroines to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving. i’m putting the onus on ALL characters to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving in their own ways if we’re supposed to be convinced that they’re falling in romantic love. sure, kaga’s mc is exceptionally loving but kaga returns that love with his own ALL the time ;~~; anyway i’m gonna stop talking about them for now bc otherwise i would just completely derail and keep going on and on about them.

anyway, back to takado, i actually find him to be more caring and loving than his mc? i actually genuinely like takado as a character and i think that real life me and him would be great together so i’m like extra offended that he’s with her rather than ME??? i would treat him so much better.

i consider this lack of emotional depth to actually be a bigger hindrance on my enjoyment of the game than the lack of flaws thing. voltage’s recent wave of mcs with the love choice titles have been trending towards the ‘perfect woman’ type of mc, but while i have some Thoughts(tm) here and there about the other protagonists, none of them strike me as being as hard to get along with as rmd’s mc. so i’ve mentioned my issue with the masukisu mc’s weird moral boundaries (more an overall voltage issue that manifests the most strongly in her character), but i also do find that they don’t let her make big mistakes and they present her as this perfect superwoman figure with no weaknesses which like... unrelatable. but at least her banter is flirty banter and there’s a lot of chemistry there (even if it’s sometimes lacking emotional depth, as in some of kazuomi’s scenes - and that’s not her fault, that’s 100% on kazuomi lol). you can definitely understand why they’re attracted to each other at least, and you can definitely see real, deep love form between her and yuzuru the most. even though the masukisu mc is a ‘perfect woman’, the premise is designed to spark relationship conflict and the writing really helps us understand the emotional turmoil of falling in love with a target because of how much it lets the mc dwell on it. destind too basically has a perfect mc in terms of work/career, but they let her have her very glaring weaknesses and, once again, the premise forces her to address her shortcomings with regards to her idealistic view on soulmates/destiny and explores the head vs heart thing where she has to really examine her emotions and how they potentially come into conflict with her preconceptions of and preoccupation with numerical compatibility.

thinking about it objectively, i feel like takado’s mc and mlfk ayato’s mc have a couple of similarities in the way that they don’t realise they’re in love for the longest time (although obviously childhood friends to lovers provides a better context for not realising that love - same with my boi natsume), but there’s just something lovable about mlfk’s mc that i don’t see in rmd. without going too deeply into it bc (1) i’m tired and (2) i’ve been going on about this for WAY too long now, i think that comes back to tone or writing (and possibly translation) style. i think at some point, i might actually go and compare the language in the “omg am i in love...?” scenes between takado’s mc, ayato’s mc and natsume’s mc but uh... not tonight haha.

actually, at some point, i genuinely wondered if rmd mc was aromantic. i really just thought she did not experience romantic attraction because i literally got no sense of it through her internal monologue bc they kept pushing the whole like “i only relate to people’s ~aesthetics~” thing. and then i wondered how they were going to make an aromantic mc fall in romantic love...? because... it’s an otome game? (btw i’m not saying that aro people can’t enjoy otoge, i definitely know people who do! but there’s a big diff between someone playing an otoge vs someone being a character falling in romantic love in an otoge. but please call me out if i’m misunderstanding aromanticism!). anyway, long story short, rmd mc (takado’s especially) falling in love is absolutely unconvincing to me because i find her dialogue - both internal and external - rather unfeeling.

these three points (1. translation that favours colloquialism over communicating emotional tone; 2. characterisation of a hubristic mc who doesn’t need to overcome significant challenges; 3. lack of emotional depth and empathy/understanding) are basically why i don’t think that she has good romantic chemistry with the love interests in romance md that i’ve read so far. i also have some very petty personal gripes (sekai...........) but they’re not relevant to this particular topic and frankly just... really petty so i don’t want to get into them here.

so anyway, long story short: i agree that i don’t think she would really vibe with kasumi in her current given state. like, they could be friends, maybe.

#romance md: always on call #rmdaoc #munechika takado #i'm... afraid to tag this #but i must do it to keep my blog organised so i can come back and find this #her love in the force #hlitf #hyogo kaga #voltage inc #otome romance #love 365 #love choice #snow writes #meta #snow rants #that should be a new tag #voltage mc

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the32ndbeat · 4 years ago

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Ship ur mutuals w/ members of NCT127!

ahh another of the ship asks ( not that I’m complaining lmao it’s a good distraction from my current wips )

also whoever asked this question, thanks for letting me exercise my one remaining braincell haha

kara - @hae-sicheng

sicheng!

not just because he’s her bias but bc they just seem so compatible in my eyes

they are both relatively soft spoken but extremely kind

i feel like they’re both the type who prefer to let others take the spotlight

and would prefer to support their friends from behind

he appreciates how giving and caring she is

will very easily be able to connect on a deep emotional level with each other i believe

a very wholesome pairing tbh

dee - @atbzkingdom

i think i’ve mentioned this before but taeyong

they are pretty similar personality wise and i feel like taeyong would like someone who is able to think the same way he does

as leader of 10 men who are collectively mentally 10, he’s defo on panic mode some days

she can help to listen to his woes and just be there for him

which he would greatly appreciate and love her for

she gets him like no one else does and he gets her like no one else does

having the same kind of mindset might also mean that it’s easier for them to relate to and understand each other

bea - @chaoticdeobi

i’m thinking jaehyun would be a good match for bea

imo they have such a calming aura that always makes the ppl around them feel comfortable and at ease

since jaehyun has always had to put up with the image of seemingly being this perfect being

i feel like bea is someone that ppl can easily open up to and he is no exception

he can truly be himself around her and not be afraid of getting judged

honestly i’ve always thought of jaehyun’s ideal type being like someone like bea

so this was a pretty easy pairing

clarie - @passionfruithyuck

johnny comes to mind when i thought of clarie

i don’t rly perceive them as having similar personalities but rather opposites

johnny is a lot more outgoing and i feel like he’d be able to coax her out of her shell and get her to open up to him

she can sort of tame him down a little

they make up for each other for whatever the other is lacking

basically when they’re together, they’re both able to help to make each other a better person

case of opposite attracts?

anie - @mjlkau

hyuck probably!

they would make a dynamic duo

but they’d probably be the couple that loves to go around playing pranks on everyone else together

to me, they both seem so lively

they both make the mood in their group of friends

your number 1 hype couple honestly

idk it’s just that whenever i talk to anie, i get such positive energy that i usually associate with hyuck ^^

leyna - @jensungf

hmm mark...?

leyna is just so caring and always looks out for other ppl and i think that’s something mark rly rly appreciates in a partner

as someone who’s part of almost every nct subunit except wayv, he’s probably super overworked at times

but doesn’t necessarily like to admit it

she is able to perceive any changes in his mood and will 100% be there for him whenever he needs her

he’s also a very chill sort of guy who seems like he’s always in a good mood just like leyna

i just think they’d be able to hit off well

rose - @guccibeomgyu

yuta lmao

this girl is so delightfully random and funny

i think yuta would be so intrigued by someone like rose

he might be used to ppl being intimidated by his presence but with rose, he doesn't get the same vibe

she’s super carefree, doesn’t rly give a fk about what ppl say about her

and yuta would 100% be into that

seeing as he’s just like that too

basically your sassy, ‘fk everyone go us’ couple

allie - @nzeeten

first thought: doyoung

talking to allie is so refreshing

i feel like she’s able to think things through in a very logical way

i might be wrong but that’s what it seems like to me

she seems mature beyond her years

i believe doyoung would want someone who’s very emotionally and mentally mature in their thinking

i can already envision them having like intellectual talks tgt

and they just get each other you know what i mean?

also i’m sorry if i didn’t include some of my other moots here haha i was like half falling asleep as i was doing this! if you wanna know which nct 127 member i’d ship you with, just shoot me an ask or dm me!

#qiu.txt #also its 1:40am #imma sleep lmao #answered #anon

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team-free-will-oneshots · 5 years ago

Text

No Through Road

Title: No Through Road (part eight of the ‘Buried Secrets’ series) Summary: When a new hunt crops up, you and the boys decide to put your feelings aside and prioritise the case. If only it were that simple... Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader Warnings: pining, angst, light swearing, canon-typical violence Word Count: 6,000ish (whoops)

note; merry christmas/happy holidays!!! i’m so sorry!! for the lack of updates !!!!! it’s been killing me too i swear!!!

while writing this i got rly deep into threads debating whether the impala is an automatic or a manual (it’s an automatic btw), just a fun fact. enjoy!

Buried Secrets Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Y/N - I wasn’t aware that you were home.”

Castiel’s voice dragged your attention away from the book in your lap, and you glanced up in surprise to see the angel in the doorway, throwing you a surprised smile that you hadn’t realised you’d missed during your time away.

“Hey, Cas. Yeah, I’m back,” you replied, offering a weak smile in return.

“I take it Dean has apologised?” Cas said sternly, his boots thudding on the timber floor as he stepped into your room. Sighing, you closed the book, tossing it to the side as you nodded glumly.

“Yeah, he has,” you informed him. “Things are… hopefully on their way back to normal.”

Cas beamed. “That’s wonderful,” he said sincerely, but his smile faltered as he recognised the despair etched into your features. He glanced to your bed, eyes darting to yours questioningly, and you nodded. He took a seat next to you. “You don’t seem pleased,” he observed, and you offered a weak smile.

“Things are complicated,” you mumbled, and Castiel’s wide eyes found yours, imploring you to continue. You leaned back against the bedrest, eyes dancing around the room as though, if you looked hard enough, you’d find the answers you so desperately sought hiding under the desk, or in the closet. But alas, the words you needed were nowhere to be found, and so you let your lips spill what they may.

“Before I left… Dean and I had a thing,” you began. “Like… romantically.” Cas nodded.

“Yes, he mentioned that while you were gone,” he affirmed, and you raised an eyebrow in interest.

“He talked to you about me?”

“Yes, of course,” Cas said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “On several occasions, in fact. He was very upset - mostly about hurting you, I believe.”

It took a few moments for this new information to settle, but once it did, you put it aside to dwell on later. “Oh,” you said. “Well, when I left, Sam and I kind of… developed a thing as well,” you said slowly. “But I hadn’t sorted things out with Dean yet, and now… now I honestly don’t know what the hell I’m meant to do. I feel like I’ve hit a dead end - like I’m trapped. I could never be with Sam if I don’t get closure with Dean, but if I get closure with Dean, I don’t know where that would leave Sam and I. I just- I’ve hit a wall,” you grumbled. Cas frowned, observing you thoughtfully as he mulled over your words.

“Who do you want to be with?” he asked, and you sighed loudly.

“I don’t know, Cas, that’s the thing. A part of me thinks I should choose Sam, because he was there for me, y’know? He was so sweet, and- and I felt safe with him,” you said. “He’s practically the perfect guy.”

“Then there’s your answer,” Cas said, and you sighed, shaking your head.

“But Dean… Look, he has some shit to make up for, that’s for sure, but… I feel so drawn to him. Being with Dean, it just feels… right. Like… almost like we’re two sides of the same coin, y’know?”

Cas frowned.

“Oh. Well, that is a bit more complex,” he allowed. “But it seems to me, you already know what you want,” he added, and you bolted upright.

“And what’s that?” you asked. Cas hesitated, and you cast him a pleading expression. “C’mon, man, I’ll take any advice I can get.”

“Well-”

But before he could finish his sentence, Dean was at your door, laptop in hand as he rapped his knuckles against the doorframe. Castiel fell silent, whatever answers he might have bestowed fading out of your reach - at least for the moment.

“Hey, Y/N, we’ve got a case- oh, hi, Cas,” he greeted in surprise. You sighed.

“Raincheck?” you murmured to Cas, who nodded warmly. You walked to Dean, peering over his shoulder and frowning at the computer screen. “What are we looking at?” you asked. You were stood close enough to him that your chin was all but resting on his shoulder, and the warmth of his body next to yours sent a pleasant tingle of electricity down your spine that you forced yourself to ignore. Dean tensed at the slight brush of your body over his, taking half a step forward as he cleared his throat.

“Uh, three victims in the past month - corpses looked like they’d been ‘ravaged by an animal’, all missing hearts,” he said. You mulled over the information.

“Okay, what, we’re thinking a werewolf?” you checked, and Dean nodded.

“Seems like.”

“How far?”

“‘Bout three hours.”

“Great, I’ll be ready in ten minutes,” you said decisively. Dean’s eyes met yours and held your gaze a moment longer than necessary before he nodded, ducking his head and leaving the room. When you turned back to start packing, Cas shot you a pointed look that you couldn’t quite deconstruct with the scent of Dean still in your nostrils, the phantom warmth of his body still grazing over your own - you couldn’t get your own thoughts straight, let alone try to decipher someone else’s.

“What?” you challenged, and he shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“Nothing,” he said softly. “Be safe,” he told you, resting his hand on your shoulder for a moment as you nodded.

“Thanks,” you replied, and you finally managed to untangle your thoughts enough to recall the conversation the two of you had shared.

“Hey, wait, what were you gonna say befo-” you began, but when you span around, the angel was already gone.

---

“So the next victim will either be Sara Aplin or Barry Smith, if we’re right about the co-workers thing,” you mused, exchanging glances with Sam and Dean. The motel room was cramped with the three of you, each bed littered with papers and research whilst the walls were adorned with a myriad of pins and criss-crossing red string. Your gut had been right about the werewolf - you’d narrowed it down to a twenty-seven year old male, Marshall Cooper, who’d had several public disagreements with his co-workers who all turned up dead only a few days later, minus their hearts. He’d had two such rows in the past few days - one with a girl, Sara, who was barely pushing twenty-five, and another with twenty-nine year old Barry.

“Looks like it,” Sam remarked, licking his finger as he leafed through a pile of pages in his hand.

“Great, well at least it’s fifty-fifty,” you muttered, pinning both locations on the map you had stuck to the wall - they were on opposite ends of town. “It’d be handy if they were neighbours - three of us could stake ‘em out together. Why are things never easy?” you moaned, and Sam chuckled.

“Tell me about it,” he replied. You stared at the map a moment longer, smirking as you trailed your finger over the glossy paper.

“Hey, I might’ve found a shortcut between the houses,” you mused, and Dean raised an eyebrow as Sam snorted.

“No offense, Y/N, I’m not taking your directional advice. Remember what happened last time you thought you found a ‘shortcut’?” Sam teased, and you giggled at the memory.

“Yeah, pretty sure a branch hit you in the face - you shoulda seen yourself, you looked so shocked,” you laughed, exchanging knowing grins with the youngest Winchester as you elbowed him fondly. He shook his head, smile lingering on his lips as your skin brushed over his. He pressed closer to you, holding contact a moment longer than he should have.

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” he chuckled, shaking his head to himself as he watched you fondly, a sweet smile tilting the corners of his lips.

Dean stood, unable to tear his eyes from you as Sam brushed up against you, both of you so casually comfortable in one another’s presence as you rattled off inside jokes he could never hope to be a part of. Just how much had you and his brother shared during your time away? How could he ever compete with the easy conversation and affectionate gestures the two of you so readily exchanged? Maybe he should just give up - maybe he’d forced any hope of a relationship between you towards a dead end the moment he’d sent you packing. Maybe there was no coming back from this one.

Dean grimaced, forcing the thoughts away as his green eyes wandered over the faded newspaper clippings pinned to the walls.

“And if we’ve got the pattern right, he’ll strike tonight,” he interrupted. You and Sam mellowed, stepping apart and falling back into business mode as Dean took on the authoritative role. “Alright, Y/N and I will stake out Sara’s house, you handle Barry’s. We good?” Dean checked. Sam glanced to you, eyes questioning, and you cast him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. Sounds good,” you replied firmly, and you saw Dean throw you a tentative half smile as his eyes met yours. He held your gaze for a moment before it quickly flickered away. The moment, however brief, held a level of intimacy that half-frightened you, but simultaneously sent a warm kaleidoscope of butterflies dancing in your stomach. Though intense, the feeling was familiar - and for a moment, things were almost back to normal.

You were jolted back to reality when Sam cleared his throat, the magic of the moment dissipating as the gravity of your situation crashed back down on you, an anvil weighing heavily on your shoulders. When you looked at the tall Winchester, his eyes betrayed a hint of jealousy that he quickly hid behind a smile.

“Alright. You’re sure you wanna go with Dean, Y/N?” he checked. “I mean, we’ll probably be waiting awhile.” You nodded.

“Yeah - Dean and I probably have some catching up to do, anyways,” you conceded, casting Dean a half smile that brought a grin to his face.

“Besides, we’re practically the hunting dream team - no offense, Sammy,” he said with a chuckle, and you shook your head in amused exasperation.

“It’s Sam,” the younger Winchester corrected with a roll of his eyes. You ignored their bickering, glancing out the cramped motel window to see dusk rapidly descending over the small farming town.

“We should get going,” you interjected, snatching Baby’s keys from where they sat on the bed. You jingled them tauntingly. “I’m driving,” you added with a wink. Dean’s cocky grin dropped quicker than a bag of stones into water.

“Oh, hell no,” he objected, but you shot him a smirk, tucking your gun into your waistband as you left the motel, tossing an amused Sam a wave over your shoulder. Dean hastily followed, lunging for the keys that you quickly protected in your closed fist.

“Sorry, Dean!” you teased in a sing-song tone, and the eldest Winchester pouted.

“C’mon, Y/N! You always ride the curb!” he all but whined, and you grinned.

“Shoulda thought of that earlier, slowpoke,” you shot back, and though he rolled his eyes, there was no malice in his act.

“I’m so sorry, Baby,” he whispered, patting the roof once before slipping into the passenger seat. You cranked the engine the moment the door clicked shut, pulling out from the motel parking lot and merging onto the main road as the passing scenery faded into a vague green blur.

“Hunting dream team, huh?” you remarked, and Dean shrugged, smiling wolfishly.

“Yeah, you know we work well together. Remember that wendigo case a couple years back?” he prompted, and you laughed.

“The one in Minnesota? When Sam had the flu, and we went in totally unprepared?”

“Yeah,” he said, face falling a little at the mention of Sam’s name. He brightened as he continued. “We mighta been unprepared, but we found that damn thing’s hideout in record time. Ganked that son of a bitch before it knew what hit it,” he reminded you, and you raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Really? I seem to remember you ‘finding the hideout’ by literally falling over into the cave, being attacked, and then I had to come save your ass,” you responded, and Dean shrugged.

“Potato, potahto… got it done, didn’t we?”

You smiled. “Yeah, we did. I guess you’re right… we are pretty awesome,” you said, winking at him and feeling a knot of butterflies rise in your stomach at his resounding chuckle.

“Yeah, we are,” he said, his eyes lingering on the smile curving your lips when you glanced back to the road. A comfortable silence settled over the car, and you felt your neck prickled as his gaze didn’t leave you. When you glanced over at him, of course, he jostled himself away from you, eyes glued a little too intently on his phone.

“Whatcha doing?” you asked, and his eyes darted over to you in surprise.

“Uh- looking at directions,” he stammered. You glanced at his phone screen - blank.

“Right. Well, google maps is for losers who can’t read street signs,” you said firmly, and Dean rolled his eyes good naturedly.

“Ha, ha,” he said dryly, tucking his phone into the pocket of his jeans. The Winchester settled back into the passenger seat, folding his arms behind his head. “Fine then, I won’t tell you the street,” he said stubbornly. “I’ll bet ya five bucks that you’ll miss it.”

You snickered. “You’re on,” you replied. A few minutes later a smug grin was etched over Dean’s face, and you shot him a hard look.

“What?” you demanded, and he chuckled, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

“Nothing, nothing…”

“This is the right way!” you insisted, nodding to the road before you. Sure, it looked a little unfamiliar, but that was just because it wasn’t broad daylight, unlike your last visit to the house… right? Dean forced a straight face.

“Sure, this is the right way…” he allowed, before sniggering. “If you’re looking for a dead end,” he tacked on, nodding to the ‘No Through Road’ sign glinting in the fading light. You released a guttural noise of irritation - yet another dead end. You seemed to be hitting a lot of those lately. Dean released the laugh he’d been biting back.

“Good try, sweetheart. Street was two blocks back,” he said, and you scrunched your nose up at him.

“Thanks, Alexa,” you snapped back, though you couldn’t restrain the grin that split your face when you threw the car into a three-point-turn, “accidentally” reversing straight into the gutter. Dean’s mouth fell open in horror, and you feigned innocence.

“Oops!” you cried dramatically, tone ringing with exaggeration. “Sorry, Baby… this never would’ve happened if someone had told me when the turnoff was…” you continued, stroking the steering wheel and shooting Dean a sweet smile.

“Very funny,” he replied, his annoyed expression quickly melting into one of bemusement as his lips spread into a nostalgic smile. “Hey, remember that case with-”

“-the haunted maserati?” you finished easily, and he nodded, whistling.

“We really totalled it, didn’t we? Damn shame, too, did you hear her engine? Never heard a thing run smoother,” he remarked wistfully, and you bit back a laugh.

“Careful, Dean, Baby will hear you,” you taunted, swinging into the side street that Dean pointed out. “Shame that Sam missed that one, too. Where was he again?” you asked, brow furrowing as you thought back to the long-forgotten hunt. You saw Dean swallow at the mention of his name, and his wistful smile collapsed into a solemn expression as he tensed his jaw.

“Still dealing with that fractured ankle, wasn’t he?” he asked gruffly, and you nodded as the penny dropped.

“Oh, yeah, poor guy,” you tutted, and Dean grunted in agreement, busying himself with scanning the houses dotted evenly along the street.

“This one, right here,” he said suddenly, pointing to a nondescript white house with a garden that needed a little more love than it was receiving. Large bushes obscured much of the lawn, the shrubbery casting shadows that swiftly lengthened as the sun continued to dip below the horizon. You pulled in close to the curb, throwing the car into park and flipping off the engine.

“Well, now we wait, huh?” you remarked, glancing over at Dean. He sighed, nodding as his eyes fell to meet yours. He held your gaze for a moment longer than he ought to, and you couldn’t help but notice the flecks of amber embedded amongst the green of his irises, smouldering like tiny embers in the fading light. The orange sunset glowed on his skin, though dappled shadows danced over his face as the leafy trees overhanging the house swayed in the light breeze. Dean tried a small, crooked smile - just a curve of his full lips, there one moment and gone the next. You released a shaky breath as you flashed a smile in return. Dean tore away his stare, turning stiffly to observe the house once more. He cleared his throat.

“Yeah. Now we wait.”

---

Dean was bored.

The moment the Impala’s engine had cut out, the two of you fell into a semi-comfortable silence broken only by the rustle of leaves in the wind and the steady beat of rain on the roof. The occasional stutter of a motor and the splashing of wheels across puddles pierced the quiet as cars rolled down the street, headlights beaming over the slick black tarmac. He’d busied himself at first by studying the leafy garden plants, before turning his gaze to the peeling white paint of the crumbling fence, counting each stripe of brown wood flickering between streaks of yellowing pigment. But as darkness descended the scenery fell into an indistinguishable grey blur, and Dean could no longer pick a distraction from the outside world.

He shifted in his seat, wincing at the stiffness of his legs. You glanced over at the sound of movement, raising an eyebrow at his evident discomfort. He flashed a sheepish smile, swallowing the lump in his throat spurred on by the glint of your eyes in the dim lighting, the warmth of your body so close to his in the cramped confines of his car.

“You got the time?” he asked weakly. You glanced at your phone.

“Nearly midnight,” you informed him, and he nodded slowly.

“Right. Great. Maybe this thing’ll end up on Sam’s end,” he mused, and you shrugged.

“Yeah, maybe - he hasn’t had anything on his end yet, either, though,” you replied offhandedly, turning back to your phone.

“Oh? You’ve- you’ve been talking to him, then?”

“Just a text here and there,” you said, smiling tightly as you nodded to the phone in your hand. Dean nodded slowly.

“Right. Of course. Good,” he said. Silence once again fell over the vehicle, and having come to a dead end as to alleviating his boredom, Dean spared another glance your way. His breath fell into an uneven patter as he admired the slanting of the low light over your cheek, illuminating the gentle flush of your skin, the gentle parting of your lips as you read something on the screen before you. When a small smile stretched over your lips as you read something amusing, Dean couldn’t help but mirror it as he found himself imagining being bestowed the honour of putting that smile on your face himsel-

You looked over at him, and Dean hastily flicked his eyes back to the house, shaking away the languishing thoughts that tormented his mind and ignoring the pit of yearning that burned in his stomach. You deserved far more than what he could give you. Although he would always be the first to admit such, it didn’t stop the pang of pain that hit his chest at the thought. He busied his mind with other ponderings.

“Hey, I… I don’t think I ever thanked you,” he said eventually, voice stammering and breathy with nerves. He pulled apart his twiddling thumbs, moving to grip the steering wheel with white knuckles. That seemed to surprise you - your eyebrows darted upwards as you shot him a questioning expression.

“For what?”

Dean shifted uncomfortably. “For- for trying to help me. With the hex bag, I mean. It… you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, you made that pretty clear,” you chuckled dryly, and Dean swallowed thickly as his yearning was overridden by guilt.

“I just mean… I appreciate the thought, is all,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have blown up at you about it, I just… I’m used to dealing with that stuff on my own. It’s… easier that way.” He refused to meet your eyes, his jaw tight as he fixed his gaze on the empty road before him. You half smiled.

“I’ve noticed. Y’know, it’s okay to reach out when you need to. You’d be amazed how much easier it is to deal with things when you have someone to vent to,” you prodded, giving him a playful nudge with your elbow. He chuckled.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” he replied. You lifted an inquiring eyebrow, and his smile melted into a somber line. He swallowed, biting back a smirk, a joke, anything to deflect his inner turmoil, and instead allowed his eyes to find your own. “I will. Promise.”

You nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer as you patted his knee once. The thoughtful action stoked the slow burning longing in his chest, but the comfort and safety your touch brought was gone as quickly as it came as you folded your arms into your chest and adjusted in your seat. Dean felt the cold air creep over the empty space you had occupied, the chill sinking into the hollowness in his heart, squeezing it in an icy grasp. He took a shaky breath, his clenched fist falling over the place your hand had occupied. Neither of you spoke.

“Hey, what day is it?” you asked suddenly, and Dean shot you a perplexed look.

“Uh, Monday, I think,” he said. “What, you got an appointment or something?”

You smirked. “No, just thought it’s fitting that we’re hunting a werewolf today.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “Why?”

You shot him a wolfish grin. “It’s Moon-day, Dean.”

The eldest Winchester closed his eyes, tongue in cheek as he fought back a laugh. “Y/N, that was pathetic.”

“Don’t you mean pack-hetic?” you challenged cheekily, and Dean snorted.

“C’mon, though, really? Moon-day? You could’ve at least somehow slipped Howl-a-ween in there, instead,” he shot back, and you smirked.

“Oh, I know, I just wanted to see you in pain at my terrible puns,” you said. Dean rolled his eyes fondly.

“At least you’re a-were that they’re bad,” he replied offhandedly, and you groaned, though you seemed unable to keep the grin off your face.

“Okay, truce,” you said. “I’m out of puns.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart, we can just hit paws on it for now.” He threw you a wink, and you chortled. Dean grinned at your laughter - carefree and genuine, woven with snorts that you futilely tried to disguise with a cough. The so-called ‘ugly’ laughter was music to his ears, a score perfectly composed by the delightful ringing of your voice. He couldn’t name a single melody he favoured over that which was your joy, a noise so pure it had him giddy on the idea that he was the lucky man who had invoked it.

Dean’s own laughter died as he recalled your similar exchange with Sam only hours prior, and he was crushed with the reminder that he wasn’t the only one with whom you had shared such buoyant moments. The cold heaviness crushed him again, and it was all he could do to force a tight half-smile in response to your wide grin. You didn’t seem to notice his dejection, however, as your eyes focussed on something over his shoulder.

“Well, I think our werewolf just turned into a there-wolf,” you remarked softly, cocking your gun and nodding towards the subtle movement in the darkness outside, followed by the rustling of the bushes. Dean snapped into solemnity, twisting around to squint into the darkness. Sure enough, you were right.

“Alright, follow my lead,” he whispered, loading his pistol with a round of silver bullets as he slowly creaked open the door of the Impala and let his boots crunch onto the footpath. You slipped out behind him, letting the door hang silently open as you readied your gun and crept into the overgrown garden. Ankle height grass brushed over Dean’s jeans, leaving tiny seeds clinging to the stiff fabric. He paid them no heed, every last drop of his attention focussed solely on the hunt as he kept downwind of the crouched wolf. He watched as you took position by it’s flank, exchanging nods as he carefully aimed - if all went well, one shot would end this hunt.

But then, when did things ever go well for Dean Winchester?

He cursed as he stepped on a twig, of all things, the thin brown stick hidden in the grass that couldn’t muffle the snap as it splintered under his heavy boot. The wolf shot around, snarling, it’s yellow eyes reflecting thin shards of light as it leapt towards him.

Dean shot - once, twice, three times, before the heavy body landed atop him, screeching and howling, it’s writhing claws digging into his arms before it finally slackened, weighing heavily on his chest. The gun flew from his hand, settling in the grass a few feet away, and he groaned as he shoved the body away.

“Shit, are you okay?” you demanded, eyes branded with concern as you rushed over to help him to his feet. Dean nodded, wincing at his wounds but forcing a steely mask over his face - he’d had worse.

“Yeah, fine,” he grunted, hissing as you slipped off your jacket and held it against his wounded shoulder. He had half a mind to push you away, insist that he was fine, but something about the tenderness of your touch and the gentleness in your eyes had him putty in your hands. For once, Dean let himself relax into your warmth, the tension seeping from his muscles as you rested a hand on his chest and began to guide him back from the car. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, but neither of you had mind to mention it - you let it ring out.

The two of you had almost made it through the gate when the other werewolf attacked.

It sprung up from behind, it’s body concealed amongst the large bushes so conveniently dotted around the yard. You felt it’s hot, reeking breath on the back of your neck as it slammed into you, dislodging Dean from your grip and sending him stumbling, dooming him only to watch with wide, helpless eyes as its claws dug into your side.

Dean’s hand shot for his gun only to grasp at empty air, and he felt his chest constrict in panic as you struggled against the wolf, unable to free your arms to defend yourself as it’s snapping jaws inched closer to your face. There was only one thing he could do.

“Hey, Fido!” he bellowed. The wolf hesitated, glancing up with a growl as it’s eyes locked on Dean. “Yeah, you fugly bitch! Come on - want a piece of this?” he roared, throwing open his arms despite the screaming in his shoulder. The wolf leapt at him, and Dean barked a curse as he threw himself to the side, a bush breaking his fall, the sharp twigs digging through his clothes as he rolled to the ground. He scrambled through the grass, catching sight of the glint of his gun a few feet away. The wolf was hot on his tail - he wasn’t going to make it, he realised. Shit - this was it…

That was when he heard a heavy thud and whimper as the wolf was slammed against a tree. Dean risked a glance, pausing with wide eyes and mouth half open as he saw you kneeling with your arms outstretched, pinning the wolf against the trunk with your magic. Your face was glistening with blood and sweat, hair matted and strewn with leaves after your tussle, but he’d be damned if it wasn’t the beautiful sight he’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

“Get the gun, idiot!” you snapped, visibly straining as you struggled to keep the wolf contained. Dean nodded, snapping back to the task at hand and quickly retrieving the gun, emptying the round of silver bullets into the wolf’s chest. It yowled and twitched, but finally stilled. You released a sharp breath as you let your arms fall, the wolf mirroring them as it thumped to the floor.

Dean sprinted to you, collapsing to his knees beside you as he frantically scanned your weary body for wounds. “Dammit, Y/N, are you okay?” he demanded, and you chuckled dryly as you nodded.

“Yeah, just some scrapes and bruises, same as you,” you muttered, wincing and pressing your hand against your blood-slickened side. Dean didn’t relax until he had examined your injuries firsthand, but once he realised you really were fine, he found himself frozen with his hands on your hips and your heaving chest only centimetres from his own. Your eyes met his, wide and sparkling and breathless from the fight, and maybe it was the adrenaline or the fact that you had both almost died, but Dean couldn’t stop himself from crushing his mouth to yours.

He could taste the salt of your sweat tinged with the metal of your blood as your lips met in a bruising kiss, his hands instinctively pulling you closer as you melted against him. Your hands were in his hair, scraping delectably against the nape of his neck as he poured every drop of passionate relief into the rough motion of his chapped lips over your own. His tongue found yours, hot and desperate as his arms caged around you, clutching you to his chest as though you’d never be safe anyplace else…

...and then he was pulling away with a start, detangling his limbs from your own as he guiltily ducked his head and cleared his throat. He didn’t meet your eyes, only allowed himself a sharp exhale as he pushed to his feet, eyes scanning his surroundings for any other threat as he silently berated himself for losing control in the way that he had.

You didn’t speak either, only huffed as the sound of your ringtone pierced the air once more. His gaze finally found yours as you tugged out your phone, and you offered him a tight smile as you held it to your ear.

“Sam?”

The single syllable sent Dean’s stomach plummeting. What was he thinking, kissing you like that? What the hell was he doing? He’d seen the way you’d looked at Sam - the jokes, the coy smiles and flirty banter. He didn’t stand a chance - and yet there he’d gone, kissing you like there was no tomorrow, like none of the past week had ever happened.

God, what kind of a hole had he dug himself into now?

---

Your mind was still reeling from Dean’s kiss - it had been all too easy to lean into it, to lose yourself in the pressure of his lips, the heat of his skin as he held you like he’d never again have the honour. Your skin still burned from his touch, your lips still buzzed from the taste of him - he’d consumed all your senses, his presence wrapping itself around you even though the only thing against your skin now was the cold night air.

Your phone rang, and you snapped from your trance as you pulled it out with shaking hands and accepted the call, eyes skimming blindly over the ID as your thoughts were drenched with the press of Dean’s body over yours, so passionate and warm, but so right.

Dean’s eyes finally met yours, and the guilt so deeply set into his expression had your brow creasing in confusion as you sent him a tentative smile that he didn’t return. Did he… regret it?

“Y/N!” a breathless exclamation sounded on the other line. You blinked, flipping back to reality as you registered the owner of the voice.

“Sam?” you gasped.

“Yeah! Listen, I think there are two wolves - I can’t believe I didn’t see it before! I’ve been reading over the case, and Marshall had a roommate who seemed a little too closely involved in-”

“Yeah, we know,” you replied dryly, shaking your head once to clear yourself from the lingering traces of Dean’s affection. “We-uh- we got it. Them. Both of the- look, both werewolves are dead,” you stammered eventually, and you heard a sigh of relief on Sam’s end.

“Great - are you okay?” he asked, voice heavy with worry.

“Fine,” you managed. “We’re both fine. Bit worse for wear, but fine.”

“Okay - okay, well, good. Let’s meet back at the motel, then.”

“Yeah - get the first aid kit ready if you beat us there,” you replied tiredly.

“Yeah, of course. See you soon,” Sam bid, and you sighed, tucking away your phone as he hung up. You glanced up at Dean, who was stubbornly avoiding your stare.

“It was Sam,” you told him, trying to coax his eyes back to you. They flashed to yours for a brief moment but left just as quickly. Dean grunted.

“Yeah? What’d he say?”

“Just that there were two wolves.”

Dean snorted. “Better late than never, I guess,” he muttered, and you allowed a short laugh as you both limped back to the Impala, sliding into the seats and nursing your tender wounds as the adrenaline faded from your systems.

“Yep. Turns out Marshall had a roommate. Two man pack. Guess you could say he was a werewolf in sheep’s clothing,” you said cheekily. That pried a smile from the eldest Winchester, finally brought a hint of a gleam back to his green eyes.

“Good one,” he chuckled, cranking the engine and pulling away from the curb. You half-opened your mouth, ready to approach the subject of the adrenaline induced act you had shared, but the look in Dean’s eyes had you second-guessing yourself. His jaw was tense, his fists tenser as he gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.

He regrets it, you realised, feeling your heart sink as you released a sharp breath.

“Right,” you said eventually. “Let’s get patched up and get the hell outta this town, huh? I bet the cops’ll be here any second, after those gunshots,” you mused. Dean squeezed the wheel tighter.

“Right,” he said tersely, relaxing slightly as you leaned back into the seat and rested your head against the glass of the window. The car was stiff with tension that slowly dissolved as the scenery shifted and blurred outside, and you winced at the throbbing headache that had flared up behind your eyes. Of course your short reprieve from it had been too good to last - how fitting that it should spring up alongside the aching in your chest as you recalled the heat of Dean’s mouth on yours, and the downcast guilt etched into his expression afterwards.

You couldn’t erase the kiss from your mind - couldn’t forget his touch, his scent, his… everything. And it was then that you realised;

You hadn’t reached a dead end, not at all - just the opposite. You’d found a fork in the road, a crossroads, and now you were faced with a glaring choice.

Two paths, each just as tempting as the other - and now you had to do the impossible. For their sakes, for your own sake…

You had to decide.

__________

Part 9 coming soon !!!!!

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