#hes giving nothing!!!!!!!! his outfit is ugly!!!!!!! purple and green?????

[ironladders]

okay so you gave us your thoughts on ashrahs outfits, your favorites, your critiques, now give us that same thing but for syzoth. hes got much more so i feel like you have more to work with here too. you can choose to include unused outfits or not

(this answer took me so long to type my god 💀 if this post is incoherent im sorry)

oh do i have OPINIONS on syzoth’s outfits. get popcorn because we will be here for a minute

since syzoth’s been around for so long, i’m just going to go in chronological order here because that’s what makes sense to my head:

while he wasn’t playable until the second game, syzoth’s presence has been in the franchise ever since the first mortal kombat. fun fact: he was the first ever secret boss in a fighting game, being a male ninja recolor with a mix of sub-zero and scorpion’s powers.

there’s not much to say about this one; the arcade sprites couldn’t have much detail, and as mentioned before the male ninjas were all recolors of each other, so syzoth’s outfit doesn’t have much going on. still, i’ve always liked this classic outfit the male ninjas had. it looks comfortable idk.

the outfit he has from the second game is, again, yet another recolor sprite. the only difference here from the first game’s costume is a few minor details have been tweaked & the texture of the green cloth has more detail. i actually think i prefer the shade of green here as opposed to the one he had the first game, not sure why though.

i'd like to see it make a comeback in mk1, who knows. but i wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t since he got his umk3 skin already

SPEAKING OF:

this one is also nice, but it's pretty similar to the the previous costume so i'm really not sure what else to add here. there's lines, i guess.

i actually really like how it looks in mk1 though! the textures are neat & they managed to keep the simplicity of it while still making it look nice. i also think the little cat ears resembling how john tobias drew the ninjas is really cute :)

now, savor those classic looks.

absorb how simple, yet cool they look.

because after mk3 is mk4/mk gold, which has….. syzoth’s worst costume ever:

WHAT WAS MIDWAY SMOKING?

there is nothing good about this at all. full stop. making him suddenly have scaley skin is one thing, but does he have to be ugly??????? because he is so ugly it’s awful. WHY IS HE BALD???

i have mentioned i hate his union of light skin from mk1 but this is ten times worse. just awful stuff, all around

they did this weird thing with his mask where, when syzoth opens his mouth, the mask moves with it, so he doesn’t have to take it off to eat or bite people or anything, i guess. but that’s really dumb to me?????? can he not just take it off like everyone else in these games who wears a mask???? why does he specifically need the open-mouthed stretchy mask?????

WHAT IS GOING ON. HUH????

also i really don’t like how they randomly decided to make the legs of his outfit purple; i get his skin is suddenly green and maybe they wanted some contrast, but come on guys. color coordination for these characters was established very early on, you can’t just throw reptile in purple out of nowhere when he's always worn green😭😭😭

i also don’t like the metal part on his crotch, and the top half of the costume is super boring. like okay sure graphics back then only allowed for so much but come on, do SOMETHING. this whole outfit sucks. burn it immediately like holy shit. mk4 was such an awful time for syzoth in general because not only did he get the ugliest design in mortal kombat design history BUT HE DIED IN HIS OWN TOWER ENDING.

you really cannot get worse than syzoth’s mk4 outfit & i think they realized how bad his design was, because midway redeems themselves in mkda:

i actually like syzoth’s mkda appearance, sure he’s a bit freaky but this is leagues better than whatever happened in mk4.

his default really suits the more monstrous/animalistic vibe they were going for him, and i like how they leaned towards a more lizard-y appearance than the weird human with scales was happening in mk4. lore-wise it also makes sense, because he's supposed to be "devolving"/losing his shapeshifting abilities due to not being around a zaterran matriarch for so long. the outfit itself is also nice; i like the shoulder pads, and the sharp points all over it fit in well with his theme + general villainy. there's enough contrast happening to make each part of his outfit stand out, while also staying cohesive and just generally looking good.

his alternate costume is also nice! they went for a different feel with it for sure, this one gives me "stuck in a desert and forced to fend for himself" vibes... if that makes sense. it's missing his regular color scheme which is.... weird... but at least it's actually interesting to look at and not ugly. i also like the animal skulls being used as armor throughout, like he hunted them down himself & then made sure to use as much of the remains as possible. it's cool!

i also do like syzoth's shaolin monks costume. now that i'm looking at it, the mold here is pretty similar to his mkda default, just with some tweaks? there's more green in the outfit, which i like because of the contrast it creates, and i also don't mind that his face looks slightly more human-ish despite being all scaley. i know i just complained about that for his mk4 costume but that's because he was ugly there (the bandages covering everything also helps. i also really like those btw)

also! i think they should bring this skin back in mk1 because i know it would look good on him. i don't think, i know, because this is his alt in mksm:

you see that??? HUMAN!! sure he's a little teethy, but he looks SOO GOOD in his human form wearing this. i'd really like to see mk1 syzoth in the mksm costume just based on this alone because i know it'd eat. the material is right there i just need nrs to act on it.

following the game release timeline, we get to mk armageddeon, where everyone keeps their appearances from the 3d era (unless you're a character who disappeared for several games and never got new costumes). so there's nothing from there to add. then everyone dies in that game, the wb acquisition happens, and with that comes the mk9 reboot.

and like... idk how to feel about his mk9 default? it's just There for me. i really can't explain why, but there's something about this design that just feels weird to me but i have no idea what about it is throwing me off. it's not an awful design but it's just. boring to me for some reason. also i've never liked how only one of his shoulders has a shoulder pad; it's just a super random asymmetrical element to introduce in a design that is otherwise symmetrical. could at least make it big and dramatic or something but noooo

i DO like his mk9 alt costume more than his default like i LOVE it

DO YOU SEE THE SNAKES WRAPPING AROUND THE FRONT WITH THEIR HEADS STICKING OUT FROM HIS SHOULDERS???? THE OPEN-MOUTHED SNAKE WITH THE FANGS AND TONGUE ON HIS CLOTH???? THE STITCHES ON HIS PANTS???? UGHHHHH IT'S SO GOOD. MY SECOND FAVORITE DESIGN FOR HIM. BRING THIS BACK IN MK1 NRS #PLEASE

the only other mk9 skins he has besides the klassic ones are the unused ones from the concept art.

i.. do not like this. it's a pretty big departure from the vibes his outfits have had the past few games, and not in a good way. he's supposed to be a master of stealth and i'm sorry but i can't see him being stealthy in this really clunky metal armor. maybe if he was a more knight-based character i'd be able to get behind it, but even if that were the case i'd still want to tweak some stuff. like the lack of boots feels weird (i know he's got claws but come on) with how the leg armor just cuts off, and i don't like the mask. idk, i'm not sure why nrs considered this but thank god they didn't go with it

on the flip side, you have the mk9 concept art where he's human and ohhh myyy godddd he's beautiful........

where is heeeeee 😭😭😭😭 i'm in mourning i didn't realize this existed until i started looking for all of his costumes, and i'm genuinely so sad because now this outfit will never see the light of day?????? he looks so good?????? the only thing i would change is the shade of green because i feel like a more teal color would be something they give to hydro or one of the sub-zeros. but other than that this costume looks so pretty, i need it instantly

there's not much to say about mk9 syzoth besides his appearance sadly. i mean, he's there, but i swear to god he doesn't talk a single second in all his scenes in the story mode for some reason. all he did was show up, get his ass beat, then leave. and sadly, this carried on into mkx

his default skin feels pretty similar to his alt in mk9 in terms of silhouette, which makes me wish they'd been a bit more creative with this design, but besides that i like it. i was a big fan of the bones in his mkda alt and it's nice to see some incorporated again into another reptile outfit. it makes me curious if zaterrans have some sort of rituals/traditions regarding bones, but mk rarely elaborates on zaterran lore so #whoknows

my only real complaint about it besides the similarity to his mk9 alt, is that there's virtually zero green in his outfit (which also bothers me abt his mkda alt outfit now that i think about it). yeah syzoth's skin is green already, but it's been shown in games such as mksm that you can have syzoth be a green-skinned reptilian while also allowing his outfit to have a pop of color. there should at least be green accents if nothing else. like his tournament skin!

i want them to bring this back in mk1 so we can see syzoth boobs huh who said that. hahaha!

but yeah i like his mkx alt a lot.......... the little tears in the cloth make syzoth look more roughed up, but that's probably the point. he's existed as the last of his kinda, working for the most heinous of men to try and bring back his species, for years. dude's gonna need to stitch some of his clothes back together lmao. i'm glad they retconned this to be his outfit from the tournament rather than the mk9 one, because it feels less lacking to me.

the only other official skin (besides the klassic) syzoth has in mkx is the kraken skin

i like the concept of this one, i really enjoy when they do fun themed skins like this! my only issue is that the gold plate on his face feels really out of place, especially beacuse he's not wearing anything else? iirc there was an option to not have it, which... thank god lol. i also wish his skin was more green rather than the actual colors they went with, but i can excuse it since a kraken is a more underwater creature.

before i move on from mkx i need to talk about syzoth's concept art because holy shit does it rule

some of these are definitely chops but with the good ones i feel robbed. betrayed. how could they take these from me

LOOK AT THE COBRA SHAAAPEEE

LOOK AT IT!!!!!

and then it looks like they were considering giving him a tail, but for some reason didn't 💔💔💔💔💔 this is awful look at what we lost

zaterrans are lizard people, okay. whether you want to design their true forms leaning more humanoid or animalistic, i'm of the opinion that they should always have tails, syzoth included. again, i feel like they missed out on giving him a tail because it allows for more unique silhouette opportunities

it also seems they were considering bringing back his 3d era outfits, or at least something similar to them, but...... both got scrapped?????????

the second one i guess is more loosely inspired, but it reminds me of his deadly alliance outfit.... i dunno....

i need them to take one of these and bring it back to the new era as syzoth's emissary outfit. it just looks so clean and i know this would bang in modern graphics. the vibes it gives off too would be perfect for a syzoth serving alongside empress mileena. GIVE IT TO ME, NETHERREALM.

if you've made it this far along the post:

sorry

congratulations because we're in the final stretch 🎉🎉 we have arrived to mk1

this is the best fucking default skin syzoth has had in any of these games and no you cannot argue with me. if you were not there when the banished trailer first dropped then i feel bad for you because literally everyone was rejoicing over mk1 syzoth. not only was every single reptile fan happy that he's a good guy & no longer desperately trying to bring his species back, but his mk1 design is flawless!!!!! this is probably my favorite design they've done for him yet because it's so fucking good!!!!

i complained about his mkx default not having any green, and they fixed their mistake becasue he has green in his outfit again. but it's not like an overwhelming amount of green, if that makes sense. i mourned him not having a tail in the previous few games, and while syzoth is tail-less in his human form the loincloth mimicking a tail in the back makes up for it & is just a super smart design choice. i also love the little storytelling elements in his default.... at first glance syzoth just looks like your average masked ninja, but upon further inspection you can point out all the little reptilian motifs in his design; from the tattoos to the silhouette of his outfit, and the scale textures scattered about. not to mention the keys at his hip hint at his role as shang's slave without fully spoiling his storyline in mk1. one time i saw someone say this outfit sucks and i'm sorry but i can't trust anyone who doesn't like syzoth's mk1 default, because again this is arguably the best he has ever looked. nrs did a good job by finally settling the "reptilian vs human" debate that was happening with reptile fans by just making him both!!!! they cooked SO fucking good with syzoth in mk1, which i'm happy about because for years now he was literally one of mk's favorite punching bags. all fans of syzoth wanted was for him to be happy and have an important story role, and he finally got that (even if it cost him a wife and kid and some of his mental health).

i have talked for way too long, and i think i've gone over his mk1 costumes in a different ask, so i will be brief:

uol is ass, only rivaled by mk4. burn them both to the ground

ood has to be one of my favorite looks for him, it feels like something he would've worn in the previous games, in a good way. big fan of the spikes and scales everywhere

i like his earthrealm skin but at the same time he's got to be sweating under there lol. the only thing i actually dislike about it is that i wish they didn't remove his face tattoo but other than that it's great. i really want his jacket

i did not get syzoth's christmas skin because i didn't have enough krystals at the time and it haunts me. every day. this is his only skin i don't have, and i wish i had just caved and bought some krystals for it. look at him he's so cute 😭😭😭 you can tell they had fun with this one. the dumb pointed shoes with bells are hilarious, his candy cane tattoos are really cute, and he genuinely looks like a really silly elf. you also can't tell because his hood is up but they even colored his hair white!!!! im obsessed with the little details on this skin

ALSO WHEN YOU HAVE HIS XMAS SKIN EQUIPPED HIS ZATERRAN FORM HAS SPRINKLES!!! AND CHOCOLATE AROUND THE MOUTHHH which he probably shouldnt be eating bc syzoth canonically cannot stomach human food.

like are you kidding me hello????? he's adorable 😭😭😭😭😭 im so devastated i don't have this skin and that it probably won't come back until winter rolls around again

okay i think that's all his skins? i hope? because this post is so damn long & i think there's an image limit that i've just barely hit at this point. if i forgot any syzoth skins i'm sorry but also i'm at the point where i have got to wrap this up somewhere

in short: love all his mk1 skins except uol, mk4 is the worst out syzoth's had Ever, klassics are great as always, and i need them to bring his 3d era outfits back.

okay thank you for reading, bye

[zai-doodles]

Me n my friends are obsessed with you. Your FT art captures us like nothing else we love your redesigns they all look so great!! So glad we're on the same page for black Mirajane and Lisanna.

Anyways, which character do you think has the worst (or at least strangest) design choices in the show?

this ask is so old im so sorry

Anyway, thank you so much!! im so glad people like my extremely self indulgent designs!

As for worst design there are... a lot of bad ones, but since ive been struggling to redesign him im gonna talk about bickslow.

ok so im gonna preface with i am NOT a professional character designer or anything, my designs arent perfect and are extremely tailored to my tastes specifically so if you hate my redesigns and prefer the og thats super chill idc.

That being said what the fuck is this.

So ok just... his magic has to do with the tiki heads right? with strong connections to the idea of voodoo and black magic, like brujaria and shit.

So please can someone tell me why his outfit theme is a knight????

like ok i GUESS you could say it has to do with him being part of the thunder legion like, in a protective role?? but then??? freed and ever dont have that themeing???

like ive been struggling so hard to redesign him because his themes just make no sense to me? not to mention the outfit is just?? Ugly???

Between the horrible stripes and the bright ass purple green combo i just?? what is he doing?? who dressed you??? like then if his power is tiki heads y r there giant skulls on his shoulder pads???

I've been messing with the idea of his rewrite being that he actually wants to be a knight one day for some reason and instead of tiki heads his babies are like, little wooden skulls? Just so i can go hard with the skull themeing in his design to give it some cohesion?

idk im spit balling i just really hate his look.

im not even going to talk about his hair because its jsut.... no.

[atopvisenyashill]

I hear GOT costume slander I immediately run over lmao

Okay look- I know absolutely NOTHING about costume design, absolutely zip. Idk anything about embroidery or symbolism or whatever with costumes. But even through my untrained and unknowledgable eyes I still know the GOT costuming is AWFUL. Its honestly so ugly to me and even before the costume spiralled down into ugly black leather costumes, none of the outfits are memorable to me. The colors (especially for the dresses) are so freaking dull and washed out. Theres not a single pop of color that catches my eyes or interesting patterning or embroidery that doesn't require me having to zoom in just to see it.

Its such a downgrade compared to the books. I LOVE reading the fashion and clothes GRRM describes. Sansa's dresses sound so lovely and everytime a piece of armor or gown is described in detail I swoon. And honestly? I don't really care about symbolism or messages or whatever being told through costuming. Its fine during important events but when EVERY single piece of costume was made with the intent of 'hmmm what does this symbolises and tell about the characters motivation???' it makes the costume so repetitive. Yeah yeah I get it Cersei wears black now cuz power or whatever. Tell me why you don't dress her in RED which is her house color and can give out the message of her being into power by imposing her house symbol and RED IS STILL A POWERFUL COLOR TOO.

Also sorry not sorry but the dresses all look so cheap and strangely kind of washed out. Sansa's purple dress was... fine but where is her lovely blues and greens? Cersei should be bedecked in dripping jewels and rich embroidery whenever she comes on screen. I don't watch medieval inspired shows and movies much but the best dress in GOT looks poor af in comparison with other shows and movies

first of all, you're valid for wanting to slander the costumes aldskjfd i think i'm so shitty about it specifically because they started using got wigs on outlander and jaime went from having gorgeous luscious locks to having a bird's nest on his head, and they stuck some dry ass margaery-sparrow type wig on my main girl brianna for like three seasons in a row it was HELL for me. i can't STAND a dry wig okay lasjfdlk

Okay look- I know absolutely NOTHING about costume design, absolutely zip. Idk anything about embroidery or symbolism or whatever with costumes. But even through my untrained and unknowledgable eyes I still know the GOT costuming is AWFUL. Its honestly so ugly to me and even before the costume spiralled down into ugly black leather costumes, none of the outfits are memorable to me. The colors (especially for the dresses) are so freaking dull and washed out. Theres not a single pop of color that catches my eyes or interesting patterning or embroidery that doesn't require me having to zoom in just to see it.

i'm definitely not a costume expert, much like everything else i talk about i am just a hater with an internet connection and a job that enables my fixations on random subjects lmao. i think black leather can be used well but it can't be everyone wearing it. like my favorite show, farscape, really leans into the black leather look for the main character, crichton, and his partner, aeryn sun, and the villain/pet bad guy scorpius, especially in later seasons. but notably there's several characters who consistently wear really bright costumes like D'argo, Sikozu, Chiana, and the black leather makes sense for crichton, aeryn, and scorpius being that the second two are peacekeepers who are like Fascist Allegory so they lean into the black and red aesthetic, and crichton is a human who looks like the main Fascist Species, so the only clothes he gets are often peacekeeper cast offs (something they discuss often in the show as a matter of fact!). there's just TEW MUCH of it in got. and i agree, i think it's not so much the embroidery or colors being bad as it is they use those ugly ass filters to visually differentiate between the different areas even tho like. moroccco and iceland look nothing alike!! so you lose a lot of really great details under that ugly haze.

Its such a downgrade compared to the books. I LOVE reading the fashion and clothes GRRM describes. Sansa's dresses sound so lovely and everytime a piece of armor or gown is described in detail I swoon. And honestly? I don't really care about symbolism or messages or whatever being told through costuming. Its fine during important events but when EVERY single piece of costume was made with the intent of 'hmmm what does this symbolises and tell about the characters motivation???' it makes the costume so repetitive. Yeah yeah I get it Cersei wears black now cuz power or whatever. Tell me why you don't dress her in RED which is her house color and can give out the message of her being into power by imposing her house symbol and RED IS STILL A POWERFUL COLOR TOO.

oooo but see george is also putting symbolizism into the outfits!! like cersei's revenge dress with the rubies for example! or sansa wearing tully blue to meet with bronze yohn. another thing is that, for example, pink was a more masculine color because it was associated with blood, so for roose, wearing a cape of pink with droplets of blood, that is a STATEMENT, ya know? or how joffrey will frequently wear lannister colors over baratheon ones, or mix baratheon and lannister colors. you're even doing symbolism in that last part - cersei wearing red because it's her house color, it's a targaryen house color and she idolizes rhaegar, and it sets her apart from robert! i think the problem is again, michele had such a narrow definition of power that it made all her later outfits so samey - but that's similar for like half the bts stuff on got lmao, they had such a narrow definition of power, it's why Dany's story is so chopped up, it's why Sansa is melded into Jeyne Poole, it's why Jon Snow is turned into an action hero instead of his canon storyline, etc.

Also sorry not sorry but the dresses all look so cheap and strangely kind of washed out. Sansa's purple dress was… fine but where is her lovely blues and greens? Cersei should be bedecked in dripping jewels and rich embroidery whenever she comes on screen. I don't watch medieval inspired shows and movies much but the best dress in GOT looks poor af in comparison with other shows and movies

I ACCEPT NO PURPLE DRESS SLANDER aldsjfkd but NO YOU'RE RIGHT there's so many outfits that are described, there's house colors, and they're important to these characters! They wear jewelry! They have fancy armor!! But it's nowhere to be seen!!

[laur-talks]

i should respond with my own tierlist we can have a heated discussion over this /silly @textbook-dinner

1. Kire

oogaa booga i like woman. hoobie boobie pretty lady aughh. did you SERIOUSLY think I'd have a good reasoning for this.

In all seriousness: I like this design for its uniqueness and also for the very strong and unmistakeable aesthetic it presents. you won't find many other vocal synths that are decked out in such elegant formal wear like this. Kire's design also has some elements of old ball gowns which I like. Ritsu's main designs in general have a lot of historical influence which we're going to see with the next one as well. part of the reason I ranked kire higher is not only because she's pretty but also because ritsu kire has had a lot of cultural influence (thanks kyaami), and I think that's really special

2. Normal/DeepVocal

It's the same design. I will swear on this. You will not take the deepvocal artwork from my cold bony hands. The deepvocal artwork has a few different texture choices from the one that CAFFEIN drew, but I don't think either one is better or worse than the other. Shiny is fun, and so is the more modest matte approach.

Ritsu's normal design has a wonderful color palette and gives him such a unique silhouette that you could recognize him a mile away. Of course that's mostly thanks to the skirt. I really enjoy how the dress is purple, his eyes are green, and his hair is orange. It makes a nice triad. I love putting Ritsu in purple garments for this reason.

I like how the outfit seems to draw from lolita fashion, even if very loosely. Those shoes are so vintage too what the hell. Slay queen. The layered-cake shape of the skirt is extremely unique and I've been enamored with it ever since I first saw it. Funnily enough though, the skirt is also what drags this design down. It's very hard to imagine how it interacts with things around it. How it looks from different angles. Hell, every single 3D model of this idiot with that skirt looks SO FUCKING GOOFY. I just can't take it seriously. As iconic as this design is, its biggest strength is simultaneously its downfall, putting it just below kire (they're very close though)

2.5. Voicevox(?) (bonus)

have you ever seen this image. its from one of Ritsu's official artists. i think that top is the cutest thing. I cant believe ritsu got a degree im so proud of her (artwork by kiku no ji)

3. Strong

He's cute. Nothing remarkable, but sometimes you just need a simple design. I don't have anything in particular to say about this one. I like the departure from the very elegant style of the first design (normal) to something more preppy, whilst still feeling like the same guy. I like CAFFEIN's designs more than what's to come in the future...

4. Uruha

Okay I'm actually wholly biased when it comes to the placement of this one. Once again there's nothing remarkable about him. He's a little ugly. But i have very silly headcanons for him so I unfortunately have gotten a little attached. I really like the short hair for some reason. He's like gachapoid to me. next entry

5. Mabayu

little shit

6. Eve

Really nothing special. Everything from this point forward stops feeling like Ritsu altogether (ignoring that I just put the little rats higher than eve. don't get it twisted, they're not Ritsu to me either). CAFFEIN captured such a unique fashion sense for this character and they just threw it out. They lost it like the poodle stuffie I left on the bus when I was 4 (still not over it). This doesn't seem like something Ritsu would wear. This feels like Ritsu's weird aunt she never knew existed until she started getting strange emails claiming that her family is looking for her. She's forgettable. But at least the outfit isn't generic.... yet.

7. Ace

Not Ritsu. What is this. I know my wife when I see her.

This design, in a vacuum, is nothing bad. But my god they missed the mark entirely. This is just a whole different character. I can't explain to you how. You really just have to see it yourself.

8. That blue dwarf Kanon put on her website recently

As interested as I am to see what these sprites are going to be used for, this design is just so embarrassing. It shares a few similarities with Ruko fem, who pulled off the look a lot better. That gray muddied blue and mustard-yellow combo makes me cry. It doesn't suit him at all. The whole outfit feels extremely generic, like I could put it on any character and it would still work. Ace may have felt like a whole different character, but this feels like the same character but stripped of all their charm. One of the first things I said about this design is that they made him look like... a normal girl. They took his autism. They took his gender. They took his bisexuality. He's a shell of who he once was. God save him.

ranking ritsu's vb designs /lh

1. Normal

The only ritsu design, everyone else can leave. ok kire you can stay but youre on thin ice

2. Kire

I keep forgetting where his body ends and his veil begins, and so from a distance he just looks like a inky blob

3. Ace

This is like if a iced bicuit were nonbinary. No seriously, i can taste this image

4. Mabayu

The only reason i voted this higher than eve is because he has one of the only variations in hairstyle apart from uruha :sob:

5. The VVV Live Design (bonus entry)

It's giving teto synthv from wish, but it's still better than some of the other designs on this list 

6. Eve

The colours are so garish that the only reason i remember this design exists is because my school has a poster with the periodic table of the elements as manga characters, and the girl from iridum looks like eve

6. Strong

I'm 99% sure that caffein made this design so that he could have an excuse to draw ritsu boobs, but his body up from the waist is built like a lego figure and i just can't get past that. (ritsu's, not caffein's) 

7.Uruha

This is the only ritsu design i could realistically cosplay, since dresses are the bane of my existence, but then again, i don't want to look like a gothic leprechaun if i can help it

8. Deepvocal

Maybe it's because its the png always used on those stupid ass memes, but i genuinely have beef with this design. he looks like he would describe himself as being an "alpha sigma rizzler with the level 5 gyatt and the baby gronk mewing aura". and that's not even starting on his abs..... 

9. Eve 2 or whatever this design is supposed to be 

What. what is this. i genuinely thought that this design was a relic of the past from the eve design competition in 2014, and i kind of wish it still was. this flopped so hard omfg. blue does not suit him at all😭 

i disagree with most of your opinions but oH MY G OD IM SO GLAD PEOPLE HATE THE BLUE ONE AS MUCH AS I DO LMAOAOAOAO

in THEORY the blue should work because it's a contrasting color to orange which is a major color in his design. but for some reason it just. doesn't. i can't see him wearing anything in that color

[romeave]

MYSTREET FIT REVIEW - LAURANCE ZVHAL

SEASON 1 - WINTER CASUAL

I do not get the hype with this fit. Mf is really out here pairing Malaichi’s old shirt with decent looking winter gear. Since Laurence’s eyes are already so close in value to his hair, this grey really helps him blend into the background. The solid black pants are the same color as his shoes, making him look like everything below the torso has glitched out and wont show up

1/10

MYSTREET SEASON ONE - CASUAL

Laurance’s arc as a 2015 minecraft youtuber who’s trying to pick up a date in the Love High roleplay server. He wears his bag cross body in order to optimize speed when he is caught by his 20 minecraft girlfriends at once. Laurance also plays a lot of Cops and Robbers and that mining prison game, so he put the prison stripes into his outfit so the fans are happy. Truely an icon

-5/10 subscribe to his channel

MYSTREET SEASON ONE - FORMAL

Laurance’s arc as an extra in an acapella group. The black and white makes sense here, since this is the age of colored blazers. I am curious as to what color the fedora is? Black or green?

-7/10, since his recital is at 7

PHEONIX DROP HIGH - GYM

Laurance still can’t pull off gray or purple or yellow, but daww look at his lil short shorts!! He’s the star of the elemenatry school track team

4/10

PHOENIX DROP HIGH - CASUAL

The black and green striped polo with the jeans looks decent. However he does look like he’s wearing his Sunday best and is trying to quietly rebel against his parents by wearing the black stripes. He also tucks his shirt in like a square.

5/10

MYSTREET SEASON THREE - CASUAL

Ignoring the brightening of his skin/hair, Laurance’s fashion sense has slightly improved. Sure, he looks like my little brother’s school photo from preschool, but he’s pulling it off!! The red and white striped polo brings Laurance out of the background and into view, and the dark blue jeans drag attention to his poorly valued face without disappearing entirely or clashing with the outfit. The belt is kinda ugly though, notably tht buckle.

6/10

MYSTREET SEASON THREE - PAJAMAS

Go girl, give us nothing. Seriously hard to ruin the fit the mannequin wears at the pajama pants store.

4/10

MYSTREET SEASON THREE - CATBOY

Credit to whoever edited this image, it was the only butler Laurance on google images. The filter actaully makes Laurance look good here, probably because the tie is no longer poop brown. The butler fit is fine, but catboy Laurance has orange ears, not navy ones.

2/10

MYSTREET SEASON SIX - CASUAL

Aphblr why have you chosen this man to simp over? Y’all had so many options and you went with this one?

0/10

OVERALL SCORE - 1.11/10

[harrys-lilfreak]

tiktok compilation

this is y/n trying tiktok trends on harry

there will be lots of dialogue in this so...

also it’s definitely not edited so just ignore the mistakes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

getting up while you guys are cuddling.

It was one of those nights harry was home earlier that usual and you guys were able to eat dinner and watch a movie on the couch afterwards. You guys were close to being half way through the movie and you guys were cuddling the entire time. It was a windy, rainy night and he’d kept you warm the entire time.

You stand up from the main couch and start walking towards a chair to left of the couch. “Baby, what are you doing?” he looked a little sad.

“I don’t wanna cuddle anymore.” You say nonchalantly as you make your way to the chair.

“But lovey I thought you said you were cold...” he sounded confused and disappointed.

“Now you’ve made me hot.” You casually say as you sit on the chair.

Harry goes quiet for near 10 minutes, and then not so secretly tries to get up to sit next to you on the chair with a pouty face.

You look at him, “Aww. My baby it was just a prank, always wanna cuddle with you.” You kiss his pouty lips. Once you guys pull back you point to your phone which say on the coffee table.

“I was so confused because you were so excited earlier for me to get home early. and then you do this.” Faux anger on his face.

You kiss his lips once more, “I’m still excited now let’s get comfy and finish this movie?” Harry nods in return.

coming out in a weird outfit.

You loved wearing his clothes, and he loved seeing you in his clothes. You decided that you wanted to see what he would say if you styled his clothes in the most hideous outfit to see what he would say.

“Hi baby!” You said in your ugly outfit. You were wearing a black button up, with a green tube top over it, some orange mom jeans and a purple skirt over them, and some neon green sandals. You were also wearing a white handbag and some sunglasses. To say the least you were not looking too hot. “Are you ready to go, we might be late for brunch?”

Harry looked back at the doorway you had just emerged from, shocked, “Woah! Hello to you too!”

It took everything in you to not laugh right then and there, “Do you like my outfit, I thought we could color coordinate, but i couldn’t choose which color so I incorporated all of them!”

“You always look beautiful my love, but this outfit doesn’t seem appropriate for the place we’re going to. I think you’re a little overdressed. How about we go back upstairs and I’ll help you choose an outfit.” He say wholeheartedly.

“Oh my gosh! I love you so much!” You chuckled. Harry was stood confused. “Babe I was just pranking you for tiktok, but thank god you shut this outfit down.” You grabbed his face and kissed him all over.

not saying i love you when he leaves.

No matter how big of a rush Harry was in to leave the house he never left without saying ‘I love you’ and a goodbye kiss.

You were sitting in the living on the couch with one of your guys cats and Harry was in the mud room getting his shoes on. He comes over to the couch and leans in to give you a super quick peck on the lips, which you gladly accepted.

As he was walking back towards the door he shouts, “I love you!” with the door knob in his hand he waits for you to say it back. When he gets no response his face falls, walking back to the couch with slumped shoulders.

“Did I do something to upset you?” He says in a hushed tone. “No babe, what are you talking about?” You reply with a little enthusiasm.

“Oh okay!” He says happily, as he walks back towards the door shouting, “I love you!” Once again he got nothing back.

Once again confused, he runs back towards you, “Why won’t you say, I love you back? Clearly I’ve upset you can you just tell me so we can be good, and I can leave and I won’t be late.”

You look up to him, with a confused look on your face, “Baby what are you on about?”

“Every time Ive said I loved you you didn’t say it back. You know I can’t leave without saying I love you.”

It felt cruel to continue so you leaned up grabbed his cheeks and kissed him deeply repeatedly saying ‘I love you’ when you pull your hands away from his face he had wide smile on his face.

“My baby, it was just a prank for tiktok!” You say pointing at the coffee table with your phone facing the two of you.

pretending not to notice your bfs haircut.

You were going to surprise him by picking him up today. He’d been at set while you landed mid afternoon and you were so excited to see him, you had seen all the paparazzi pictures of his new hair cut and named every excuse in the book, so you didn’t have to facetime him the day before you left to see him.

You saw Harry walking out of his trailer. He didn’t spot you right away so you rolled down your window to get his attention.

“Harry!” You shouted lightly at him, he turned his head back towards you and you see his face physically light up.

He runs towards your car and hops in, “What the heck baby!” He grabs your face and kisses you a bunch. “I wasn’t expecting you!” You guys greet each other a little more and then you decided it was time to go before anyone saw the two of you.

Harry sat back and cleared his throat as you started the car, “notice anything different?” He smirks at you. You look at him and then back at the road. “Did you get new shoes or something because I love them!”

Harry sighs lightly, “nope, not new shoes, thanks though!” You take another glance at him at him, and he sees so he subtly motions to his hair by fixing it. “A new shirt, I don’t know lovey I’m stumped.”

Harry shifts a bit in his sit so he wasn’t sitting as close to anymore as before. “Well it’s definitely new and I guess this means you don’t like it.” He said his tone falling. “The shirt, I love that shirt, what are you talking about?”

Harry was so fed up, “no! I got a haircut, y/n!” You laughed once he’d said that. “Of course I know you got a haircut baby! It’s so handsome I was just pranking you for tiktok!” You said pointing at your phone in the holder under the handle.

calling your bf weird ‘pet’ names.

Harry was sat at the kitchen island as you approached him. “what are you eating, perfume bottle?” You said sweetly

“Perfume bottle, babe what?” He said confusion full evident. You tried your hardest not to laugh, “I said what are you eating perfume bottle?” in the same tone holding back your laugh.

“umm, I’m having a bagel, you weirdo?” he said still confused. “ooh can i have a bite,my little sugar straw!”

Harry, once again confused, held out his plate for you to grab some of his bagel. You walk closer to him and grab it to take a bite, once you’ve put it back on the plate you walk over to him and kiss his cheek.

~Later~

Harry was at the sink in your guys en suite brushing his teeth when you came up to him and asked “Can you hand me my face wash, flat screen?” in a hushed tone.

“Babe where are these nicknames coming from?” He said clearly confused. “They’re cute aren’t they?” You reply slyly. He doesn’t say anything so you walk away.

~Later.~

Harry was downstairs finishing up something’s for his song while you were upstairs waiting for him. After a little while you called out for him. “Makeup wipes!” You didn’t hear any sign of him so you called out again.

“Makeup wipes!” you shouted again. That’s when you heard Harrys little feet padding up the stairs. He walks into your shared room and heads straight for the en suite. You hear a little crinkling and that’s when he comes back with your makeup wipes.

“I don’t know why you didn’t get them yourself, but that’s ok I don’t mind.” He says handing you the wipes. You take them and set them down. “I missed you makeup wipes! You know I can’t got to sleep without you next to me.”

Harry finally piecing it together, “I’m makeup wipes? What’s going on, why can’t you just go back to babe, baby, or lovely?” You ignore him and open your arms out wide for him.

“I’m not giving you cuddles till you tell me what’s going on.” Harry says firmly. You start giggling which visibly upsets him.

“Lovely it’s just for tiktok!” You exclaim pointing behind you at your phone on the bedside table. Arms still open Harry crawls in them with a smile on his face.

yelling at ur sister over the phone in front of ur bf.

You stomped into the room phone in clutch, “You’re such an idiot Renée, I wish we weren’t related you’re so embarrassing!” You screamed into your phone, pretending to be on the phone with your sister. Harry runs into the room your camped out in to see you aggressively ‘hanging up’ the phone.

“Y/n.” He said clearly anger, you were getting scared because Harry never uses your name like that. “Why the fuck are you speaking to your little sister on the phone like that, she’s just a kid.”

“Harry, she’s old enough to know and she was acting like an idiot.” You state matter of factly, Harry takes a breath to recollect. “ I shouldn’t have yelled, Im sorry about that. I just want you to do one thing for me.”

You look up at him faux anger easing. “And what’s that?” Harry grabs your arm and points to the tattoo right below your inner elbow. “What does that say?”

“It says ‘Peace & Love...” You say defeatedly. “Exactly so I want you to call your sister back and apologize before there is no peace or love. What you said was hurtful and even if you didn’t mean it, it still will eat at the both of you.” Harry kisses you on the forehead, grabs your phone and hands it to you before he leaves.

⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️

i don’t really write but i thought it would be fun to do something like this

anyway enjoy ! <3

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 26/2021) - L’Sandburg

Foolish and Puffy are both reeling from the events of the Red Banquet. Foolish confronts a familiar foe in his mind while Puffy works through her grief.

After Foolish’s lore, Bad, Antfrost, Purpled, HBomb and Foolish get involved in a new conflict, as Bad declares his  walled-off tollbooth on Foolish’s road a new nation called “L’Sandburg.” Foolish, mad that Bad would attempt to occupy a spot on his land, intervenes. Bad ends up declaring war.

Later, after things settle, Puffy is invited to L’Sandburg but instead attempts to take over the nation, declaring it “L’Puffburg.”

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Captain Puffy

---

- There’s a flashback to the Red Banquet from Foolish’s perspective, watching as Puffy and Antfrost argue.

- As Foolish dies, the screen goes black. The Egg speaks.

"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME AGAIN.”

- Foolish gasps and wakes in the green beacon light within the Temple of Undying. He’s confused -- he’s immortal. But that was different.

The Egg makes noises, then speaks -- but not in reverse.

“I...am..in your mind...”

“I am IN YOUR SOUL.”

“No, no no no no, this is -- this is just tricks! Games! This is just something new!”

“IT IS NOT A TRICK.”

“Is this -- is this the Egg? It’s tough to forget a voice like that.”

“CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT. I HAVE MANY NAMES AS YOU KNOW, BUT YOU’VE FORGOTTEN.”

“What do you mean? No no no, I have never heard you before, it wasn’t that long ago that I first met you. You’re something new, something I’ve never met before.”

“I AM AN ANCIENT ONE. EVEN MORE ANCIENT THAN YOU.”

“So I guess...I guess I was wrong -- I’m not afraid of you! Even after all that, I am still not afraid.”

“AFRAID? YOU ARE TRULY FOOLISH IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN ME! YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID.”

“Maybe...maybe I had it wrong. Maybe I thought I was stronger. But...but I’m still here! I’m still here. And where are you? How’d that Banquet go?”

“FOOLISH...WHEN WE MET, YOU SAID YOU FEARED NOTHING. BUT NOW? I CAN SENSE YOUR FEAR, FOOLISH.”

“No...no.”

“YOU FEAR DEATH ITSELF, DON’T YOU?”

“No, no...you don’t know! You don’t know anything about me!”

“I...KNOW WHO YOU ARE...EVEN THOUGH...YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME OF WHAT YOU ARE.”

“And? Enlighten me, tell me something. Tell me something that only I would know!”

“I KNOW...OF YOUR SECRET PLACE THAT YOU HAVE TOLD OF NO OTHER!”

“Be more specific.”

“FOOLISH...I KNOW WHAT YOU KEEP IN THERE. FOOLISH...”

“You could be lying. Where?”

“HOW CAN I BE LYING, WHEN I CAN HEAR YOUR VERY THOUGHTS?”

“How do I get you out of my head? I’m not -- you’re still trying to get me to join your side, that’s not gonna happen!”

“FOOLISH...YOU ARE WEAK! FOOLISH. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE! BUT YOU CHOOSE PEACE. AND YOU WASTE YOUR DAYS BUILDING...PATHETIC. YOU HAVE MORE POWER THAN YOU KNOW.”

“No...no, you have it wrong! I’ve tried that, okay? I’ve tried power in the past and it doesn’t work! It doesn’t work. You can’t just use overwhelming force. It worked for short term at best.”

“POWER! POWER IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, FOOLISH! YOU OF ALL SHOULD KNOW THAT. HOW ELSE CAN YOU SAVE YOURSELF FROM DYING, FOOLISH?”

“You think...you think I’m weak? You think there’s strength -- there’s strength in what I do! Let me explain to you. Let me explain to you why I build.”

“Before, I was reckless and wild. I used to believe wielding godlike powers and a sword gave me some sort of control. But it all led me down a path of violence, and anger, mistrust. I can’t control the actions of the world through overwhelming power. It doesn’t work, just doesn’t. But building provides two important elements in my life. Creation and control...”

- Foolish walks back to the mainland as the Egg continues to speak with him.

- Foolish heads to Church Prime as the Egg keeps asking to join him. It says that it knows about Foolish’s deal with Ranboo.

“Hm. So maybe you do know something. Which is all the more reason I need to be rid of you. And you can go back to whatever dark abyss of the Nether you came from!”

“FOOLISH, STOP. WHY ARE WE FIGHTING? IT’S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO JOIN ME. I WILL MAKE YOU STRONG AGAIN. DEEP DOWN YOU MISS THE POWER YOU ONCE HELD. 

GO BACK TO BEING A TOTEM OF DEATH, AND TOGETHER, WE CAN RULE AND CREATE PEACE. PEACE IS WHAT YOU WANT. RIGHT, FOOLISH?”

- Foolish tells the Egg it doesn’t work that way. The Egg says it can and it will. Foolish asks if it has any last words.

“I AM A PART OF YOU, FOOLISH. YOU CANNOT GET RID OF ME.”

“No...then I mean this in the most polite way possible...”

“Go to Hell.”

- Foolish submerges himself in the waters of Church Prime as the Egg shouts. When he emerges, it’s gone.

- He wonders if anyone is still alive from the Banquet. He walks down the Prime Path, not understanding why he’s afraid of death.

“There was that brief second before that sword...I don’t see beauty in mortality.”

- He jumps down into the spider spawner and makes his way down the hallway, but he hesitates. He needs to calm down.

- Foolish heads back home. Did the Egg know better than him? Is it saying things that he’s afraid to admit? 

- He makes it back to the temple, wondering if it’s really safe. Even if he can die, why is he so afraid? 

- He opens the secret door and walks down the staircase. He still doesn’t fault the members of the Eggpire for the Egg’s control. He retrieves his things from the basement.

- He just needs to rest. Foolish returns to the beacon light.

---

- Bad creates a three-block-wide area on Foolish’s path to the Nether portal and claims ownership of it. He constructs walls around it and declares it the Town of L’Sandburg. 

- As a gift, Foolish gives Bad a bed and the HBomb catmaid service coupon.

- Bad creates Halobucks. Antfrost arrives to help Bad, and they request more sandstone to build with.

- Foolish gives Antfrost the Sword of XD to kill Bad with. Now, Antfrost and Bad have defenses for L’Sandburg. They refuse to give the sword back.

- Foolish attempts to negotiate with Antfrost to kill Bad in exchange for the supplies. Antfrost is reluctant, as Bad is the ruler of L’Sandburg and he doesn’t with to betray his country.

- Antfrost changes into his maid skin. Foolish asks for his sword back.

- They do an exchange of supplies, but Bad doesn’t give Foolish his sword. Foolish, frustrated that he is unable to break his vow of pacifism, calls in some help: he tells HBomb about the possibility of maid service for Bad.

- Purpled joins the call and logs on. Bad invites him to join L’Sandburg.

- Bad and Ant inform Foolish that he must pay a toll to pass through the path.

- Purpled arrives to join L’Sandburg. He is their lawyer.

- Foolish gets Purpled to kill Bad and then pays him. Purpled also kills Antfrost.

- Foolish says he’ll give Purpled a block of Netherite. Antfrost offers emeralds, but Purpled weighs the options and decides Foolish’s offer is better and continues to kill the L’Sandburgians.

- Bad threatens to declare it an international incident.

- Purpled starts mining bits of L’Sandburg, but Bad stops him, saying he has to take it up with the court. Purpled isn’t one for politics. Bad warns them that if they continue, he’ll have to declare war.

- Bad says they’re bringing HBomb over to act as a judge. Purpled says that’s his cue to leave and heads off. Foolish lets him know that he might need a favor later.

- HBomb arrives in his catmaid outfit and Ant asks him to join L’Sandburg. HBomb becomes a citizen of L’Sandburg. 

- Bad hands Foolish a representation of the court papers (a single arrow) as HBomb exits L’Sandburg to carve out his own country neighboring them. Ant says he can have dual citizenship. 

- H creates a running stream of water and a wall of wood and declares his new country: L’damburg.

- He also creates a seat in the sun and offers Foolish take some time in L’tanburg.

- He then makes a ton of cars and welcomes Foolish to L’jamburg.

HBomb: “Wait, are you streaming?”

Foolish: “Yeah.”

HBomb: “Welcome to L’camburg.”

(Foolish tells chat to never become a pacifist)

- HBomb lights a piece of TNT and explodes L’tanburg, declaring it now L’bamburg. 

- Bad declares that L’Sandburg’s borders, now the entire chunk, have now extended into L’damburg. They now have territory for agriculture.

- Foolish asks, how are they even a country? Do they even have a declaration? One way or another, Foolish says, they can have their little fantasy for a bit but then L’Sandburg is getting destroyed.

- Rat is a canonical L’Sandburg member

- He asks how to make a TNT cannon. Bad warns him against that, saying it would violate their peace treaty.

- Bad declares war on Foolish’s summer home over a piece of cake.

- Bad annexes a block of cactus into L’Sandburg. Foolish is outraged, insisting that this is his land.

Bad: “You will rue the day, Foolish, you started war with L’Sandburg.”

- Bad starts building a wooden one-block-wide pathway to annex territory to the cactus. Foolish gives in and says that they can have this strip of land officially, but not anymore land or else Foolish will have to bring in necessary forces.

- After learning that the cactus has been around for centuries, Bad realizes that L’Sandburg must be older than Foolish’s summer home!

Bad: “Everything the eye can see must be L’Sandburg!”

...

Foolish: “The strength of my patience is the reason you’re alive.”

- HBomb gets injured from falling outside the strip and Bad says Foolish needs to pay for the damages.

- To be good neighbors, Bad offers to let Foolish keep the strip and the cactus, and L’Sandburg and L’Damburg will stay within their chunks. In exchange for the ancient cactus, Bad requests stacks of sandstone.

- HBomb pulls Bad aside, suggesting they form a new nation: L’hamburg. They claim another chunk.

- Bad starts building a statue to Rat. Foolish blurts that he doesn’t want a statue of that “ugly creature” and Bad and H both stop and look at him. HBomb immediately starts building a wall between them.

- Foolish walks into L’Sandburg, checks a chest and is outraged when he finds that the L’Sandburgians/L’damburgians have been stealing supplies from him. 

- Foolish insults how ugly L’hamburg is. Bad leaves. 

- HBomb explains that he is not a citizen of L’Sandburg now, but L’damburg, and that L’bamburg and L’damburg are the same.

- Foolish tells HBomb that he will wait and get rid of L’Sandburg later. HBomb asks if that’s a threat.

Foolish: “That wasn’t a threat, just a promise.”

Foolish: “We strike at dawn.”

- HBomb points out that Foolish hired Purpled to kill them. He’s the judge.

- While H continues to work on L’damburg, Foolish performs the Shift Dance.

- Bad returns. H has to leave, but he tells Bad to keep an eye on the ‘burgs. Bad suggests he and Foolish create a peace treaty. 50% off toll, and in exchange they have peace.

- Foolish asks, what if someone else isn’t peaceful? Bad would consider that an act of war on his part. He offers to gift Foolish L’hamburg.

- The only thing, Bad says, is that Foolish can’t get rid of the L’Sandburg capital. With that, he departs.

- Foolish says he might keep the tower, but he’ll have to do this later.

---

- Puffy examines her Netherite axe. The axe that she killed her best friend with. She still can’t believe what happened. Worse than Foolish dying, she stooped to their level and took a life. She swore she wouldn’t be like them.

- Antfrost was right. She failed. She understands why people didn’t fight for L’manburg now.

“Chaos always wins. Despite all odds, despite everything you think you can do to fix the situation, to help each other, to persevere...you can’t.”

- She doesn’t know where Foolish is, but killing Antfrost didn’t fix anything. 

- There’s somewhere she hasn’t been in a long time. She’s done with Bad, done with Ant -- but at least Ant has a reason to hate her now. By killing Foolish, they’d hurt her more than if they’d killed her.

- Nothing excuses what she did. She’ll face the consequences for killing Antfrost later. She acted on her emotions, but she’d do it again.

“Maybe the only way to have people listen to me, to take me seriously, is to instill fear in them. And that’s not who I want to be, but if it’s who I have to be, if I have to be the villain in everyone’s story? Then that’s the choice I’ll make.”

- The Captain’s Log was meant to document her progress as a knight. Now, this book is her undoing. She goes down into her underground base, looking at the signs on the wall.

“You can’t connect the dots, you can’t see anything coming because everybody you think you know about everyone on this server is a lie! Everything you know, you can’t trust anybody!”

“Even the sweetest of people, the closest of people, the people that you have trusted since day one? They’ll turn, because everybody on this server has a dark side, whether they like to think it or not, whether it’s been shown yet, whether it’s been revealed, everybody -- everybody including me! Including the quote unquote ‘mother,’ the ‘protector of the server,’ even me! Because I could be worse than all of them! And the best part is is that they’ll never see it coming.” 

“Some people are predictable...I’m not one of them.”

- Puffy writes in her Captain’s Log, changing “What it means to be a knight” to “What it means to be a villain...”

DON’T TRUST ANYONE.

NOT EVEN YOURSELF.

A DAY WILL COME WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND BE THE PERSON YOU RECOGNIZE LEAST IN THIS WORLD.

“Trust...trust is the biggest weakness there is. Trust is what separates strangers from friends. From security, from vulnerability. Trust is weakness, and...on this server, you can’t have any weakness, because if they find out, if anybody finds out you have a weakness, they’ll use it against you.”

- A new era of peace isn’t going to happen. Puffy will bring a new era of darkness. There are few people who haven’t broken their loyalty yet, and she’ll keep an eye out. But to the people that failed her, 

“To those people, I say...’welcome to Doomsday.’“

---

- After discussion about Puffy’s height, Bad tells Puffy that he’s forming a new nation if she would like to join. A nation called L’Sandburg.

- Puffy arrives at L’Sandburg. The capital tower has been renovated, the base reinforced with obsidian.

- Puffy asks if this is canon. Bad says yes, this is his tower. (After Puffy gets mad at him for killing her son, Bad says it’s maybe not that level of canon)

- Bad lets Puffy into the L’Sandburg capital.

- Puffy asks what the point of L’Sandburg is. Bad explains that it’s a sort of tollbooth on Foolish’s road. The toll depends on how much armor a person is wearing. The more shiny, fancy armor, the higher the toll, because that person can afford to pay more.

- Puffy starts twerking to test the road durability. She pays a toll of carrots with one steak. Bad plans to increase toll amounts as the nation improves infrastructure. 

- Bad tries to arrest Puffy and put her into toll jail for bypassing the toll, but he gives up and walks away when she says no. Puffy points out that his security system is not very good, and Bad starts to see the problem here.

- Puffy walks into the toll booth and Bad asks her to pay a toll of five carrots this time. The price has gone up due to inflation. Puffy turns the tables and starts charging Bad toll to enter L’Sandburg, declaring this territory “L’Puffburg.”

- Bad bypasses the toll by saying he’s ready for hot girl summer and agrees to let Puffy keep ownership of the top floor of the capital.

- L’Sandburg is apparently Bad’s “vacation country.”

- Bad and Puffy hang out in L’Sandburg/L’Puffburg some more and Bad plays around sticking his head out of sand and doing various voices.

- Antfrost arrives. 

- Ant changes into Badboyhalo in a maid outfit.

- Bad and Antfrost fight. Antfrost runs out of L’Sandburg and Bad chases after him, threatening to take his second canon life, telling him to accept his death like a good potato.

- Antfrost kills Bad. Puffy tells them to put their weapons away so that they can have a proper duel. They fight a second time.

- Ant and Puffy say goodnight and leave Bad to work in L’Sandburg.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[lilmissbacon]

Miraculous Ladybug Design RANT (Spoilers from future episodes Trailers and Clips)

I'm mad

We've been waiting since 2016 for this shit and this is what we get?

I'mma be honest, as an artist, this season has infuriated me beyond belief. All the designs in this show were complete fire until season 4, why are they so ungodly now?

Polymouse and Purple Tigress' outfits are great but other than that the costumes are either passable or fugly.

Pigella was fine, ladybug suit upgrade was fine, Vesperia –as much as I hate the character for existing and how she looks more like a villain than a hero– was fine.

But this?

Sabrina, Ivan and Nate look SO BAD.

The only new design that's been revealed in the Penalteam clips that's even semi-good is Marc and even then, it just doesn't fit his style. It could be a similar situation to Juleka where he's trying to be more confident but even still, Juleka's Tiger suit fit her aesthetic.

And the fact that he got the chicken and not the goat kinda makes me mad.

Speaking of, wtf is going on with Nathaniel's horns? Why is his (and Ivan's) hair not changed in the slightest? Why does he look like that? The goat doesn't fit Nathaniel just as much as the chicken doesn't fit Marc, if not more so. I do get that they're based off of the Chinese Zodiac and they do fit they're personalities (I was born year of the ram, I know) but these styles just don't.

I don't think the designers even know these characters' personalities.

Why did the creators choose this? And the goat's weapon is a giant paintbrush? While the chicken's is a pen? Not a giant pen, just a regular one. Not only is it too on the nose for the characters but what kind of choice was that?! What is the pen gonna do?!! How is that gonna help in battle?

It's like the equivalent of giving Rena Rouge a camera for a weapon because it's journalist Alya.

And why is Ivan gray? The bull is blue! MAKE HIM BLUE! Why does Nathaniel's hero suit have a green tint. That's NOT needed!!!

Idk what weapon Ivan is getting but the rooster should've had boomerangs, the goat should've had a paintball gun and the bull needs a giant Harley-Quinn-like hammer.

And don't even get me started on Sabrina. They took her civilians clothes, made them brown, black & white, and gave her an ugly ass hat with floppy ears glued on. Her mask makes her look dead inside, oh my god.

I'm genuinely kinda disgusted with how low the bar has been set with these hero designs.

(EXHALE)

At the very least, I can only hope to God that Marc and Nate switch miraculous' at some point. I've only seen, like, one post/blog about the theory that they'll switch but even so, it doesn't excuse this atrocity. Even if these weren't meant to be their permanent looks, make them look –at the least– decent.

Other than that, nothing could ever vindicate the creators/designers for these looks.

[toomanythought]

A critique of the magic knight captain's outfits because that's the kind of mood I'm in.

1. Charlotte

I've decided that she has the best outfit of anyone here.

She's got several colors going on, but most of them are neutral so It's ok

Blue and silver with gold accents isn't really a color scheme you can go wrong with

Could use a little more armor, but overall a rather practical look

Could stand to loose the helmet but overall not bad

10/10 something I would wear

2. Dorothy

I'm loving the energy of the pink in this one.

Honestly very pretty aesthetic

Not a lot going on, pretty much only pink w/ some black and white accents (There are two different shades of pink but that's ok because they're in separate pieces and nothing else is going on)

The green on her hat really helps make the pink less overwhelming, a great choice

Minus points because those shorts look a little bit like underwear and her boots should probably be black.

9/10 wouldn't wear it but I'd recommend a friend

3. The Vermilions:

It's pretty much the exact same outfit but Mereoleona wears it so much better.

The red and orange is kind of a bad combo, and I thought it was basic knowledge that redheads should avoid wearing red

The blue does work to cut this a bit though, so it's not as overwhelming as it could be

Kinda iffy on the pink sash. It really should match the cape by outfit laws, but I think that would put too much red in the entire thing

Fuegoleon you're pretty but that outfit really isn't doing it for you. Minus points for the lack of titty window. In the future show more skin. 6/10

Like I said, it's basically the same outfit, but Mereoleona wears it with a very different energy and manages to make it look good. I get pirate queen vibes. 8.5/10

Overall 7/10; I might wear elements of it.

4. Rill

The clothing needs a different style/cut but the colors are decent.

His cape doesn't class with his hair, and he's got the light colors well balanced with the dark

He looks like he's outgrown his pants though

Like seriously

They're a bit too short to be wearing without boots

And at least wear some socks to cover it up

Gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he hit a growth spirt and Walter hasn't had time to let out the hems

Shoes make me think of Tinker belle

6/10 I like the colors but he really needs different pants, and maybe shoes

5. Yami

Surprisingly not the worst but I am not without criticism.

He's got an aesthetic going that allows him to get away with a bit

As an outfit it's ok, but there's a distinct lack of professionalism going on

Sir are you really going to wear nothing but a tank top 24/7?

Also the over pant thingies make it look like he's wet himself

I like the creativity with the squad robe. No one else wears it like that

His outfit was better when he was with the Grey Deer

Can' figure out what's up with those boots

5/10. I'd never recommend wearing it but it's got a practicality to it.

6. Nozel

My dude you're rich enough to afford a stylist.

We're not even talking about the hair at this point, there are so many things that need straightened out

The ocean/teal blue he's got going on does not work with the periwinkle.

Also what's up with the pant leg cut outs. I really fail to understand the practicality of them

Why are there sandals

We are fighting people

Please wear close toed shoes

Also feathers and fur? Get it together my dude

While we're at it the feathers are kinda ugly in arrangement

3/10 I feel like someone failed to successfully merge two different outfits together.

7. Kaiser

I don't have a lot to say. It's pretty bland.

Very shapeless and fluffy

I'm honestly getting hot just looking at it

Aside from the buttons + gloves and squad robe, there's not much going on

I don't have many critiques of the squad robe. It's purple and yellow. Nothing too horrible.

5/10. Very generic and boring. Don't like at all but it's hard to come up with concrete bad things

8. Jack

Sir do you understand the purpose of clothes

It looks like an armored outfit so you get practicality points

What is up with all the leather straps

They literally serve no purpose

Please put on a proper shirt that covers your midriff

The pants/shoes combo is kinda sketchy

He needs to have either the black or the green running all the way up

Bracelets?

2/10. It's just... ugly

9. William

Sir I know your life sucks but please learn how to dress yourself. Your squad wears the uniform too and you aren't doing them any favors.

Feathers and fluff. Are you a bird dude? Is that your magic? No. It's trees. I know you like birds but you don't need to look like one

Please don't get me started on the colors

For posterity's sake I will now list every color contained within this outfit:

White

Gold

Red

Dark Red

Tan? Light gold?

Dark blue

Lighter blue (but only in one place and it's not touching the dark blue)

Purple. Because this outfit needed some more pizzazz.

White

Black

Get some pink and green and you'll be representing all the squads with ease

The style and cut is actually pretty good but the colors are beyond horrid

He tells Julius that the mask is tacky and then continues to wear it

And also match the rest of his clothing to it

He should have kept the mask as a statement piece and kept the outfit as one or two colors.

Honestly a very in character outfit because it demonstrates his inability to choose a side

3/10 I guess. I like some things about it but there's just too much going on. Bad overall outfit. Needs help desperately. Ask Mimosa. I have a feeling she realized it was bad.

[liquorisce]

reading between the lines (High School Years, Ch 2)

pairing: eren x mikasa (shingeki no kyojin) // mild erehisu, yumihisu

rating: t

summary: (modern au) Junior year is difficult, especially for Mikasa, because it turns out Eren’s decided to test the dating scene. 

(banter, jealousy... and lots of feelings)

part 1 | read on ao3

A/N: this chapter has been a long time coming (5 years omg), and tbh I have a lovely anon to thank, who messaged me asking for a sequel to hsy, which made me actually want to put down my scrambled headcanons on paper. if you're reading this anon, i'm truly grateful for the push you gave me. 

NOTE: although i intended a sequel, this is a COMPANION fic to chapter 1, it is meant to fill up the gaps in the story that the previous chapter didnt tell you. i hope you enjoy :)

Today was not one of Eren’s favourite days, for 2 reasons. For one, the day started off with … an encounter. Two, today they would be getting the results of their final trig assessment, which Eren knows perfectly well he didn’t have a chance of passing.

The ‘encounter’ happens pretty much without preamble.

…

i.

“… Hey, it’s Eren, right?” He turns around from his conversation with Armin, to see the same guy from a couple of weeks ago, the one who was talking about Mikasa, and her pretty hair. (he wasn’t wrong)  

“Yeah?” He does his best not to let the subconscious irritation seep into his tone.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day,” the guy with the oddly horse-shaped face says, “… My name’s Jean.”

“… Nice to meet you,” he says awkwardly delivering his dishonest words.

“… So, I wanted to be straight up with you,” Jean says, cheeks oddly pink. “About Mikasa… and you. I’ve heard some rumours, and I thought it best to address it with you directly, because I really don’t want to cause any trouble.”   Clearing his throat, he says, “Are you guys… y’know, together?”

It’s in the way Jean speaks, he thinks, or the way he talks about Mikasa (or even thinks of her?) - it makes him want to ram his fist right in the middle of his ugly face. And because he was too busy clenching his fists to actually respond, Armin says with a laugh, “… Ah, don’t worry, Mikasa is totally single.”

And then proceeds to wink at Jean.

Eren can barely believe his eyes and ears. And once Jean is out of earshot he hisses, “… what the fuck, Armin?”

Armin blinks up at him innocently. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

 “… You didn’t have to encourage him,” Eren mumbles petulantly, when he admits to himself that Armin did, in fact, say nothing wrong.

 “Erm, why not?” He sighs, “Look, I know you… worry about Mikasa,” Armin keeps his tone as neutral and veiled as possible, because worried is definitely not all Eren feels for Mikasa, “… but Jean is a good guy! And if anyone deserves attention from a good guy, it’s her.”

…

 ii.

 She finds him lurking near his locker, stuffing his crumpled papers in, probably wishing away their existence.

“That bad, huh?” She asks, hiding away her grin at his predictable reaction. Eren has always been predisposed too sulking - whether he was a 7-year-old who wasn’t the fastest on the field or 16-something and having just received his trigonometry results.

“… You look like you did just fine,” he mutters, not having to see the A+ on her paper to know that Mikasa had no problem acing the trig test (or any other test).

“You could just ask me for help, Eren. I could help you out for the retakes,” she offers softly, not for the first time.

He sighs. When he glances at her, dark eyes offering earnestly, he knows she means it without any pride or arrogance, but he isn’t able to suppress the prick of his own ego that has him mumbling, “… the mandatory remedial lessons should do just fine.”

…

iii.

When he shows up for class, he sees only a couple of others unfamiliar faces, so he curses under his breath at his own ineptitude towards mathematics for getting him in this situation and takes a spot at the back of the class.

The Support teacher - Erd, he calls himself, apparently too young to be addressed ‘Mr.’ or any of that - seems just as tired as the rest of them, sighing at the lack of answers, obviously frustrated at the complete lack of interest or gratitude of the teenagers in front of him.

So, 20 minutes into the 1-hour lesson, when the short blonde walks in, out-of-breath and apologetic, the sarcasm in his tone is biting. “You’ve already missed 1/3rd of this class, you might as well have stayed out entirely and practiced your cheer routines.”

Eren watches sympathetically at the visible cringe on Krista’s face and offers her an empathetic smile as she takes the seat next to him.

Later when they’ve been informed that the retake is just an assignment filled with proofs and average difficulty problems that they can do in pairs, he looks at Krista, the only known person in the room.

They weren’t that close, but they had quite a few mutual friends what with him playing basketball and her being part of the cheer team. So, when she says, “… see you at the library tomorrow evening?” with a pretty smile across her pretty features, he grins gratefully.

..

She doesn’t struggle with trig even half as much as he does. In fact, she seemed to be happy to do most of the work herself and explain her solutions - if he actually had the interest to understand them.

“I don’t understand,” he admits after she solves the 5th problem in a row effortlessly, “you seem to have everything down already. How come you didn’t pass the test?”

Her eyes skittered nervously away from him. “I was… sick,” she mutters. “I couldn’t really focus.”

He eyes her closely, observing the sudden change in her countenance. Usually Krista was all easy smiles, twinkle in her blue eyes. Now, she looks uneasy, unwell almost. Deciding it wasn’t his place to pry, “… Well, I guess I turned out to be the lucky one in all this,” he grins, “… I get to hang out with you and have you do my assignment.”

She rolls her eyes. To be honest, she’d enjoyed the past couple of evenings with him. Eren was easy to talk to, despite being somewhat of an airhead and being completely incapable of anything remotely math related. But regardless, he made her laugh and just about forget what happened the morning before she showed up for this test, with fresh tears choking her throat, and purpling bruises on her thighs.

“I guess you owe me then,” she quips back, smugly.

“… I definitely do,” he says smoothly, green eyes watching her in a way that makes her feel warm. “How can I make it up to you?”

Flustered, because she hadn’t expected his easy response, she mumbles, “… Dinner?” And with red cheeks hidden by her blonde bangs, she whispers, “I like pizza.”

…

iv.

She finds him at the end of the day, on one of the wooden tables outside the basketball court, chin resting in his hands, eyes glued to his laptop.

“… Hey,” she breathes, giggling when startled green eyes flash up to her, body jerking in surprise.

“Damn, you got me,” he grins, pushing his laptop away and leaning up for a brief kiss. She’s happy to return it, and she lets her fingers wind into his hair, enjoying it for a moment longer.

“Mmm,” she mumbles, “I saw you closing that browser window,” she teases, wrestling control of his laptop, “watcha lookin’ at?”

When she manages to open his browser history – much to Eren’s protest – her eyes widen. “Women’s dresses, spring collection??” She waggles her eyebrows at him.

“… It’s not for me,” he grumbles, deciding to make it painstakingly clear before Krista enthusiastically begins to tell him what dress would suit him the most – he knows his girlfriend, crossdressing would be absolutely acceptable, if not encouraged – and he watches her eyes feign disappointment.

“… Boring,” she sighs, rolling her pretty blue eyes, “I don’t see how you’re not curious about how you look in a dress,” – she gasps, hand flying over her mouth, “Wait… was that… a surprise… for me?”

“… Um,” Eren starts, intelligently, because the situation that was already awkward in his opinion, just became even more so. “Well,” he gulps, taking in the sparkle in her eyes, knowing fully well just how much she likes surprises, feeling guilty even thought he needn’t be, “itsformikasa.”

He hangs his head in apparent apology, but more so because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment flit across her features.

“… Oh.”

He chances a glance at her, and there’s no particular emotion per se, and it worries him, because she gets this faraway look in her eye sometimes, and he can’t really tell what’s going on, and they’ve only been together a few months and he’s not an expert in reading her silences –

“I see, is it for her birthday or something?” Her tone is measured, and she’s looking pointedly at the screen.

“Um… yeah.” Eren sighs, wondering what the hell was up with his own reaction. He had nothing to feel guilty about – where did that even come from anyway? – Mikasa’s his… family (or something). Shopping for her was normal. He did it every year. This isn’t something he needed to hide.

“Yeah, it’s next month,” he says, giving her a smile. There was no need for this to be awkward if he didn’t make it so. Besides, it wasn’t like he was buying her lingerie or something! (he brushed this thought aside faster than the red blush crept up his neck)

“Do you think, you could help me with it?” He blurts this out, partially in an attempt to distract the weird atmosphere, and also partially because he could really use the help.

Krista blinks. “Err, yeah. Sure.” She pulls up Mikasa’s profile on Instagram. “Let’s see,” she murmurs… Turtlenecks… Jeans… a ridiculously modest swimsuit that she wore to a pool party two years ago. The sexiest outfit on her entire profile was probably her in her tennis shorts and that had more to do with Mikasa’s undeniably ripped body than anything else.

She looks up at Eren, who’s still looking at her tentatively, green eyes unsure.

This whole thing was silly anyway, she thinks, offering him a genuine smile. He and Mikasa were close (and they lived together, which she did her best not to think about), but this wasn’t a surprise so it’s about time that it came up in some way in their relationship. In any case, she hadn’t felt any hostility from the raven-haired beauty and Eren was usually quite forthcoming about everything, so she didn’t really have anything to worry about.

“So, um, does she have a favourite colour or something?” She’s eager to kill the awkward mood and is grateful to see his shoulders visibly relax as he ponders.

“… Red, I think. Maybe, like, a darker shade. Sort of… maroon, y’know?” He thinks of the scarf he gave Mikasa when they were younger. It was a ratty, yet fluffy maroon thing which she was absolutely terrible at tying, but she wears it everywhere during the winter, even though his father had a bought her a better one at some point.

They peruse their options for a bit, and Krista picks out a deep red number, a shimmery satin one, with slinky straps and a slit that travels up an already high hemline. It wasn’t really a spring dress but more of a cocktail night outfit, and Eren is weirdly embarrassed thinking of Mikasa in it.

He eyes the screen incredulously. “… Somehow, I just can’t picture Mikasa wearing something like that.” He opens up another link, to a denim overall dress, “… now this, she would wear.”

“And that,” Krista retorts, “is why she’s still single. She has an amazing body; she should flaunt it.”

“… What would she wear it to?” Eren asks, unconvinced. (Also, what was wrong with Mikasa being single?) “… Student council meetings? Debate competitions?! I just,” –

“Parties, Eren,” she says, exasperated, “… it’s high school!”

“You know she doesn’t” –

“Drag her to some! C’mon, we’re going to be seniors soon. She’ll thank you for it!”

…

v.

Six hours later, she’s closing up her shift at her part-time job. It’s a job she’d rather keep hidden – from her friends at school and the law – because she isn’t sure what the age policy was in these kinds of establishments. It worked out because it was close enough to home, and between her and the bartender, the tips compensated the poor wages. Plus, the bartender – a slightly older girl named Ymir with a pretty fringe and a sharp tongue – was genuinely fan to hang out with. And she was surprisingly protective of the small blonde, particularly with the rougher customers, whom Ymir scared off quite effectively with her glares.

“So,” she says, as she scrubs the counter clean, “… I helped my boyfriend buy a dress today.”  

She doesn’t turn back to see her, but she can hear Ymir’s raised eyebrows as she says, cheekily, “… I didn’t realize you guys were into that stuff.”

Snorting, she replies, “Well that would be interesting. But no, it was for his, um, friend. Or something.” Or something, because sometimes Eren refers to Mikasa as his best friend, sometimes his family, and sometimes it just felt like… something else, basically.

She turns around to look at Ymir, who says nothing, continuing to rinse the rest of the glasses. “Her name’s Mikasa,” she continues, her voice getting oddly unsure, “They’ve known each other forever. They even… live together.”

“… What,” Ymir stares at her in disbelief.

“It’s not like that,” Krista finds herself sounding defensive, “Eren’s dad is her guardian… or something. Has been for some years. So, it’s not like they moved in together…”

She elects to skip the part where Eren’s dad is a doctor with Doctors without Borders and is barely home for more than a couple of months a year. She didn’t like the look Ymir was giving her anyway.

“So… they’re like brother-sister or what?”

“No,” she says, realizing that the word came out more vehement than she intended. But she knows that was definitely not the way Eren saw their relationship.

“… Krista,” Ymir starts, and the blonde can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s going to get all protective on her, “… I know you’re in high school, and… you’re dating – as you should – but you don’t have to waste your time on shady boys.”

At this she laughs because, “Eren’s not shady, he’s a nice guy,” –

“… You could get anyone you want; I mean look at you, you’re beautiful.”

The defense that was bubbling up in her throat suddenly stilled, because there’s something about the way Ymir just said that – called her beautiful – earnestly, quietly, and it made her feel funny. It took her breath away for a very brief second and replaced it with a warm flush that creeps up her neck.

It’s strange, she’s heard it before from so many boys with obvious motivations; Eren’s always calling her pretty, and complimenting her eyes or whatever… But when Ymir said it, and looked at her like that, honey brown eyes, deep with unnamed emotion, all she could do was avert her eyes.

…

vi.

It’s 7pm and the library’s home only to the nerds by now. The librarian is lax (and underpaid) enough to ignore the low buzz of two over-enthusiastic AP chemistry students that grates on Mikasa’s ears.

Ordinarily she’d just plug her earphones in and ignore the world to focus on the assignment at hand. But today she accepts anything to distract her from the scene earlier at home. And even though Armin’s sitting right next to her, supposedly doing his own thing, she doesn’t miss the worried glances he sends her every now and then, which she really doesn’t want to address.

Her feelings for Eren were a well-known secret by now, just as well-known as the fact that he clearly didn’t return those feelings, so she wasn’t particularly in the mood for Armin’s indulgent pity… regardless of how well-intentioned it was.

So, when its 8pm and the librarian is shooing them out, and she bumps into Jean, she’s grateful for the few extra minutes of conversation surrounding absolutely nothing important.

When they continue to the parking lot, their conversation having progressed from awkward conversation starters to an animated discussion on Jean’s tennis form, Armin’s well and truly realized that he has no place here.

After Armin’s said his goodbyes and Mikasa recognizes that she doesn’t mind staying away from home and possibly Eren and Krista in the middle of their 5th round, she asks Jean, “… so do you like Chinese food?”

…

When she walks in a little after 10 pm, cheeks cold from the night air, there’s a small grin on her cheeks, because she’s made a new friend today, whose company she genuinely enjoyed.

But when she enters the living room to see Eren fast asleep on the couch, she finds herself staring in the face of the reality she’d tried so hard to escape. It’s difficult to ignore the ruffled quality of his brown hair, mussed up in a way that could only have been achieved by someone (a very blonde, very beautiful someone) raking their hands through it.

She can’t help the wave of irritation that sweeps through her - so she doesn’t bother to soften her footsteps as she walks up the wooden stairs.

Minutes later, she hears his sleepy voice at her door. “Hey,” he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice, “you were out pretty late, so I left you some dinner. We made pasta, it’s not as good as yours but,” -

“… I ate already,” she says, tone clipped.

“Oh.” He’s quiet, just watching her put her things away, and there’s irrational tears pricking at her eyes, anger, and frustration that she knows she doesn’t have the right to, so she doesn’t turn to acknowledge him. “… Mikasa, are you…,” he clears his throat, “… is something wrong?”

When she says nothing, he sighs, turning, “… Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I’m always here,” -

“… Could you please go over to Krista’s house next time?”

She colours, surprised at herself for her outburst of honesty. But her blush pales in comparison to Eren’s as he processes what she’s saying. “… This is my house,” he sputters, “… I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to bring my girlfriend over.”

“Well, it’s not just ‘bringing her over’, is it?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “… What I do with Krista, in my personal space, is definitely not your business, Mikasa.”

“It is when I can hear it, Eren,” she retorts, as he shuts the door forcefully behind him.

…

vii.

It’s been two weeks since that… confrontation, and Mikasa’s barely spoken to him since.

She leaves before he does, makes sure dinner’s left out on the stove for him, whether he needs it or not, and locks her door when she’s done. And although he’s found himself staring awkwardly at that shut door multiple times, he’s never had the courage to actually knock.

He simply cannot comprehend this situation because despite the numerous arguments they’ve had in the past - it was always him, whining about something like a petty child and sulking till he got his way - she’d never truly been mad at him. And she’d never, ever, gone days without talking to him. And as he stares at the locker next to his (it was Mikasa’s) with a horrible ache in his chest, he is well and truly sure that he loathes this situation.

So, when small hands reach around his waist, enveloping him in a tight embrace, his subconscious reaction is to jerk back in annoyance. “I didn’t realise it was you,” he murmurs apologetically, rubbing her hands softly.

“… Who else would it be?” Krista asks, somewhat thrown off by this mood that had been festering for days now.

“You ask some very valid questions there, babe,” he mutters, a distracted half-smile on his face.

Taking a deep breath (determined to shake him out of his pensive aura), she whispers, “… You know, I don’t have work today.” She leans against him, reaching up to murmur in his ear, “we could hang out at yours for a while, if you want?”

She makes it clear what she means by “hanging out” by the way she presses up against him, and even though he’s responded with fervent enthusiasm to a similar invitation in the past, today he just averts his gaze, awkwardly.

Swallowing the rejection with a graceful exterior, she puts an arm’s length of distance between them. “… What’s going on, Eren? Your head’s been somewhere else all week.”

And before he starts to stay that it’s nothing, just that he has some stuff going on, she says, “… does this have something to do with Mikasa?”

His green gaze jerks up at her, startled with unfortunate honesty. “… I haven’t seen you talk to her all week.”

“…I,” he starts, but his throat closes up, for some reason, unsure whether he should really tell her what happened. He doesn’t want to put her in the middle of something that was clearly between him and Mikasa.

But with every passing second, the guilty look on his face only begins to feed the fears that she had successfully kept dormant all this while. “… Did something happen between the two of you?”

And when he looks into her eyes, bright blues seeping insecurity, he says, hurriedly, “… wait, I hope you aren’t thinking that we,” - he inhales sharply, wondering how he manages so successfully to upset the women in his life - “God, no. We had a misunderstanding, that’s all. She said something, I was pretty rude to her, and I shouldn’t have been.”

“And,” he murmurs, admitting it to himself, finally, “I’ve just taken too long to apologize.”

…

She’s barely finished washing the vegetables for dinner, when she hears the thud of the front door closing loudly.

(She remembers Carla reprimanding him every time, for not being gentler)

Mikasa has managed to avoid Eren successfully these past days, because she knows his schedule, knows that despite his complete lack of organization, he’s fairly predictable. And with his recent interest in a particular cheerleader, he almost invariably never comes home before 8.30 PM. So, when she hears him enter their kitchen at little over 7, she isn’t prepared.

She isn’t prepared because she’s been quite cowardly, saying things that she had no business saying, and then being unable to own up to it, unable to apologize to him. Because she knew that when she looks at him, she’ll feel the way she feels right now - taking in the sight of him, drizzle droplets fresh in his brown hair, as he runs a hand through it, his mouth twisting into an awkward grin. She knew she’d realize that her feelings for Eren were never really much of a choice, they just were.  

“… I brought your favourite dumplings from Li’s,” he announces. “And I brought an extra serving of the spicy soy sauce so we don’t have to fight over who gets the last bit.”

…

He’s grateful for the small smile that forms on her face when she accepts the dumplings (the peace treaty as he calls it in his head), and for the small banter that she indulges him in as they eat.

After they’re stuffed with dumplings and inconsequential conversation, he clears his throat, because he remembers he came home early tonight with a certain conviction.

But as she does with most things, she beats him to it. “… Eren, about the other day,” she looks at him earnestly, “… I had no right to demand that of you. I’m sorry.”

And when he’s still quiet, she mumbles quickly, “I don’t know what got into me that day, honestly, I,” -

“Don’t apologise, Mikasa,” he says, a strange disquiet taking over him as he replays her words, “… the last thing I want, is to make you feel uncomfortable.” Or to make you feel like you can’t demand what you want from me.

This is the part that settles into him slowly, that somehow, the one person in his life that he’s always felt he could ask anything of, could demand anything of, and actually receive it without fail… she didn’t feel that she could count on the same from him. And it twisted painfully inside of him.

“I appreciate that, Eren. But honestly, I’ll get used to it… so don’t worry.” She smiles, in that genuine way of hers, small lips, curving shyly, “… and who knows, maybe someday I’ll want to ‘bring someone over’ too.”

She laughs as she does the air quotes and even though he manages a small grin in response, all he can say, without really meaning it, is –

“Yeah… Of course, yeah.”

…

 viii.

 She takes her frustration out on the cash register. “… Damn thing doesn’t open when I need it to, and doesn’t close when I want it to,” she mutters under her breath.

 “You just need to show it some love,” Ymir says, amused, promptly closing the problematic register without any difficulty. “… Go sit, I’ll close up here.”

 She does as she’s told, pouting slightly, but she’s grateful for the older girl’s help and understanding. “So… want a beer before I close the tap?” Ymir asks with a wink.

 “You need to stop offering underage girls alcohol,” Krista whispers, scanning the room hastily.

 The brunette rolls her eyes. “You need to stop with the innocent act every time. You’re a hot cheerleader for god’s sakes, everyone knows what goes on at your high school parties,”  -

 “Ok ok,” she acquiesces, suppressing the blush at Ymir’s offhanded compliment and deciding that that there was no point in panicking every time they did this, “… but only if you join me.”

 “Cheers,” Ymir says, offering her glass to Krista’s and taking a generous gulp. “So, tell me. Boy trouble, again?”

 Krista nurses her drink slowly before taking a sip.

 To Krista, Eren was a breath of fresh air. He didn’t hover, he didn’t foam at the mouth every time she spoke to another guy, didn’t hound her if she didn’t pick up his phone call.

 Does he even care? Ymir had asked her once scathingly, but she had disregarded it, grateful for the freedom she felt in his embrace. Freedom from toxic attachment, from past trauma or unresolved baggage like the one she was destined to carry. When she was around him, she had felt different. Lighter almost, as if this persona that she had created for herself could actually have a shot at happiness after all.

 But lately she’d begun to wonder if she’d just been fooling herself… again. She’d begun to question if she had just convinced herself to see the promise of something that was never there.

 “… I thought this guy was one of the good ones,” Ymir says, watching Krista closely.

 “He is…” she sighs, “He is one of the good ones. It’s just…” she trails off, unsure if she should give voice to her thoughts. “Ah fuck it, I’m just feeling a little insecure, it’ll be fine…”

 “… Is this about that sexy flatmate of his?”

 She winces, feeling exposed. It often felt that way with Ymir. Like there was no point to any of the barriers she had worked so hard in constructing.

 “She is attractive,” Krista admits, begrudgingly. “… I’m only surprised Eren hasn’t noticed that.”  

 “… But that’s what you’re worried about, aren’t you? That he has noticed that of late?” Ymir narrows her eyes at Krista. “You should just ask him about it!”

 “I did,” she states defensively, “… and he said there was nothing,” -

 “… Oh, sure there’s nothing. I can’t believe he thinks he can lie to you and get away with it,” -

 “Ymir, I trust him, he’s my boyfriend,” -

 “But that’s the problem with you. You just trust everyone, and you let them walk all over you. You did this with Reiner and now with,” -

 “Ok,” she whispers, “Stop it, Ymir.”

 “… Krista, you need to trust your gut about this sort of thing. If your gut is telling you that he’s a lying asshole, then you should just dump his ass and,” -

 “… See this is why I didn’t want to tell you about this,” she cries, her voice rising In frustration. Because this is how it’s always been with Ymir, no one she dates is ever good enough, no decision she makes is ever smart enough.

 “You’re always shitting on my boyfriends. And I know you were justified about the last one, but,” her voice cracks just a little bit, because at the end of it all, she just feels weak, “… it feels like you’re just taking a massive crap on me as well.”

 “I didn’t mean,” Ymir starts apologetically, brown eyes remorseful, “… look, that wasn’t my intention.”

 She takes her hand, slowly, lets her long fingers intertwine with Krista’s smaller, dainty ones.  The crumpled expression on Krista’s features has her regretting ever opening her big mouth. But she was tired of seeing one person after another, enter her Krista’s life, and undo the progress she was trying so desperately to make.

“… The truth is,” she takes a deep breath, ready to unleash a truth that’s been stifled for so long, she can’t even remember when it first sprouted, “I think you’re pretty fucking amazing. And I see you wasting all your time and your feelings on these stupid boys who don’t deserve you.” The words come out quickly, rushed almost. A sharp contrast to how long they’ve festered in Ymir’s chest, growing and growing until these feelings knew no reason.

 Ymir doesn’t look at her, she keeps her gaze focused on Krista’s hand, afraid of what might happen if Krista understands the depth of feeling behind her words. But more important than her feelings, there were some things she wanted Krista to see clearly.

 “Did you tell him about your father, Krista? What he does to you when his wife isn’t looking?”

 Krista tugs on her hand, a wave of unbridled panic spreading at the mention of her father. “I trusted you with that information, Ymir, you promised you’d never bring it up,” -

 “… Did you tell him your real name?”

 She can’t answer this question, even though she knows the answer, knows it’s an emphatic ‘no’ - but she cannot answer because there’s an overwhelming lump in her throat, and it’s taking everything from her to barely keep it together.

 “… Let go of me, Ymir,” she pleads, and that’s when Ymir loosens her grip.

 “… You trusted me to keep quiet about your secrets - and I’m fine with that. I’m fine with doing anything you ask of me,” her teeth grit together, because she doesn’t know, Krista doesn’t know just how much she would do.  

 “You asked me not to do anything about the fact that your father is hurting you, and it even though it kills me, I listened to you. But now I see you hurting yourself in this farcical relationship with fabricated feelings for some boy who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, and I don’t know if I can be quiet about that anymore.”

 And because it’s grown too large, too much to keep inside of her anymore, she whispers, “I love you, Historia. And if you want me to let go of you, I will. But,” she brushes her lips gently against Krista’s cheek, “… You can trust me with your secrets, and your heart, if you’d let me, because I could take care of you.” She feels a warm tear roll down Krista’s cheek and her heart clenches, “… I could make you happy.”

 …

ix. 

 “… I really appreciate you making time for this,” she murmurs, as she watches him lay the white lilies at her parent’s grave.

 He always remembers, without her prompting, because the first time he’d come with her, she’d spent hours crying at their gravestone, telling him tear-filled anecdotes of the dishes her Mama cooked, the bedtime stories her Papa told, the flowers that they used to grow in their garden together (white lilies).

 “C’mon Mikasa,” he rolls his eyes at her, “… we do this every year. Why wouldn’t I make time for this?” And why the hell are you thanking me?

 She can’t really explain it to him, the possibly childish notion that she thought he might be too busy with his girlfriend to remember the death anniversary of her parents. She regrets doubting him, regrets that of late she’s been so clouded by petty jealousy, that she hasn’t truly appreciated how little he’s changed around her.

 “It’s ridiculous,” she confesses, softly, “… you’ve given me everything. A home… A family.” She smiles at him, somewhat blurry. “But I can’t help it, every year on this day, my mind always goes back to that… moment. I lost them… in what felt like the blink of an eye.”

 He tenses, as he always does when he sees her upset, or shedding a tear. There is a fundamental part of him that deeply despises the sadness on her features; it makes him feel helpless. So, he does the only thing he can - he wraps an arm around her, tucking her face into his shoulder as she snuggles into him.

 “I miss them every day. But you saved me, Eren,” she whispers, dark eyes looking up at him with a gratefulness that he has never known how to accept, and never felt worthy of. “… and now I have you.”

 Her voice trails off, almost wistful. “… I guess the world really can be cruel but beautiful at the same time.”

 …

 x.

 When he stops to think about it, he supposes it really is ridiculous it took them so long to get here. And by here he means - Mikasa wrapped securely in his arms, in his lap, on their couch, taking advantage of the privacy they’ve had all along.

 He feels her tongue flick against his - it makes him shiver - and he can do little more than just wrap himself around her tighter, and sigh into her kiss. Her fingers make their way into his hair, cradling his head, pressing sweet kisses on the side of his mouth, on his jaw, and on the sensitive spot beneath his ear.

 And because Mikasa’s always been a quick study (she’s learnt what he likes, what he’s weak for), he stills her exploration (very reluctantly) before she goes too far.

 “Are you okay…?” He whispers, rubbing a thumb along the dried tear stains on her cheek – a reminder of her tears, of knowing the pain that he’d caused her, bubbled quietly within him, having been quelled temporarily by the glorious feeling of having her in his arms.

 She laughs, shaking her head, “… I love you. I can’t believe I finally get to say it.” She rests her forehead against his, a happy smile forming on her lips.

 “… You could have said it ages ago; you know. No one asked you to keep it inside for this long.” Even though he teases her with his words, his lips drift back to hers, brushing softly, unable to stay away for too long.

 “… Well, you never know, I actually might have said it. If it wasn’t for, you know, you having a girlfriend.” He senses the eye roll, the teasing lilt of her voice, but he can’t help but regret the time he wasted. Because even though Krista was a dear friend, and there were no ill intentions there, now that he is here, chest to chest with the girl he loves, he only wishes he’d been here sooner.

 “You’re going to use that against me forever, aren’t you?”

 She grins in response. “… I have a question though.”

 “Shoot,” he murmurs, nibbling against her lower lip.

 “… Why’d you guys break up?”

 He groans, kissing her jaw testily. “… Do you really want to go into that right now?”

 She hesitates, torn between potentially ruining the mood and needing to know what happened. God knows, she had spent countless nights losing sleep over the details anyway. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay, I guess…”

 “It’s fine,” he says quickly, realising that if he wanted to set a precedent where she could ask him anything, then it‘s best he starts now, “… She’s in love with someone else. A girl, actually.”

 Her eyes widen, not having expected that turn of events. “… Please tell me you didn’t ask for a threesome.”

 “What the fuck, Mikasa, of course not!” He pulls back, offended.

 “Good,” she murmurs cheekily, “I’ve raised you well.”

 “Hmm,” he hums, “Speaking of ‘raising me’, you should probably stop saying stuff like that. Do you know that Connie asked if you were like a ’sister’ to me?”

 He grins, seeing the shocked expression on her face. That’s exactly how he had felt when he was posed that question, with a little mortification added to the mix. “… Is that really how everyone sees our… relationship?”

 His fingers drift to hers, where they rest on his chest. “We’ve been living together for a while now,” he caresses her knuckles absentmindedly, “Kids our age… they don’t really understand it, I guess. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

 “My turn: I have a question for you,” he murmurs. This is a question he’s long considered, stopped only by his embarrassment, fielding it from others only to put the vaguest labels on it.

 “… What am I to you, Mikasa?”

 The question throws her, because even though she’s told him candidly how she feels, that she loves him, she always has, he is asking her, right now, to define their relationship.

 The very notion, the expression that flits on her tongue, bubbles up in her heart with an exciting warmth, even though she hopes this is just temporary, that it will grow, that Eren is so many things and will be so many things to her that she cannot possibly define right now - “… My boyfriend, of course.”

- fin - 

A/N:  i've been really nervous to post em, because its just been so long, and the writer that wrote chap 1 is different from the one that wrote chap 2, and honestly i dont even know if there are inconsistencies. so my request to you, dear reader, is to please let me know if i have made any fuck ups in writing this - or if you have any ideas for pacing, or storytelling that could possibly help me improve.

also there will be a chapter 3 focusing on eremika’s sexual exploration~

[kathyprior4200]

Helluva Boss Season 2 Episode 1: “The Circus”

CHAPTER I: STOLAS’ BIRTH c. 1984

 King Paimon and Queen Nebula both sighed happily after their fun make-out session in their satin king-size bed. Nebula’s four eyes were red, her face was white, and her long feathery hair was brown. Both she and her husband were tall, white-faced, and appeared like tall owls. Her silver crown with a star on top of it lay on a nearby dresser with Paimon’s three-pointed gold crown.

 “That was…” Paimon breathed.

 “…fucking amazing,” Nebula finished.

 They both took deep breaths and stared at the ceiling, then gazed into each other’s eyes. Their royal robes and garments were tossed on the floor.

 “What a lucky man I am to spend quality time with such a beautiful lady…and the sister of Decarabia, no less,” Paimon sighed.

 “Well, my brother does have a knack for turning things into birds and showing off his collection of precious stones,” she replied.

 After several more minutes, the queen owl winced. “Speaking of stones, I…”

 She grunted for a second.

 “Are you alright, dear?” Paimon asked.

 “Yeah, I just feel… like I’m hard inside…”

 She groaned again.

 “Oh, so now you decide to climax,” Paimon snickered. “At least wait until I’m fully prepared…”

 “No, you birdbrain!” she moaned. “It’s the egg…the egg’s coming!”

 Nebula bent over and spread out her legs. Paimon clapped his hands and a female imp servant wearing a black maid outfit rushed into the room. Owl-screeches came from Nebula’s mouth as she slowly pushed the egg downwards.

 “That’s…an ugly sound, dear,” Paimon winced, not even trying to help her.

 “You’re doing great, your highness,” said the red imp lady. She placed some towels underneath Nebula. After several more pushes…

 Plop!

 A large round white egg slipped out and landed safely onto the red towels. Nebula collapsed in relief.  

 “Well,” said Paimon, eyebrow raised. “That was unexpected.”

 Nebula cradled her egg close to her as the imp helped her cool off.

 “Well at least you won’t stuff yourself with mice every couple of hours anymore,” Paimon remarked. “I was worried you’d go off and eat every rodent in the Pride Ring.”

 Nebula could only give him a tired glare.

 After Nebula recovered, she had the female imp put the egg in a special place to keep warm. After washing it, the egg was placed on a royal pink cushion under dark purple curtains. She even added a gold crown to the top of the egg.

 Paimon yawned loudly. “Let me know when it hatches. I’m going back to sleep.”

 The egg hatched a couple days later. An excited Nebula wandered over and examined her newborn hatching.

 “Look at our son!” she said. She briefly made a disgusted face, but then she shrugged.

 Paimon leaned down to take a closer look.

 “Eck!” He flinched at the sight of the hatchling’s orange face, swollen purple eyes, wrinkled beak, and a few feathers atop its head. “Why are they always so ugly?”

“He can’t help it,” Nebula said. “You know he’ll grow his feathers soon enough.”

 Nebula washed her chick and fed him a spoonful of worms. He ravenously gulped them down. Later, she wrapped him in a red bundle with a gold pin showing the Goetia family sigil on it. She placed him in a crib, where he slowly drifted to sleep after she sang a cosmic lullaby.

 “As the stars and suns align

Know in my arms you are fine

You will be okay

Everything will be okay

In the cosmos dark and deep

My sweet baby goes to sleep

You’ll be ready for a new day

And you will be okay”

 “Oh, I almost forgot,” Nebula exclaimed after she finished her song. She placed a green star toy and a red demon Max bunny rabbit with four small imp horns into his crib.

 “My imp caretaker gave me that rabbit a long time ago,” she said. “I bet he will love it.”

 “Imps,” Paimon scoffed. “Nothing special about them other than their servitude to us.”

 Nebula looked at the beautiful starry night sky through the window and smiled.

 “I have the perfect name for him. Prince Stolas!”

 “Stolas! I like it!” Paimon clapped and hooted. “He’ll be a great prince in no time!” He paused. “Give or take a few decades.”

 “Don’t rush him too much, dear,” Nebula reminded him. “Even though we completed our obligation to produce an heir, I say we enjoy our time with our child as much as we can.”

 “Okay then,” Paimon said.

 But several times during the days that passed, Paimon would claim he was “busy” with royal duties, a.k.a. riding his terror-inducing camel through the deserts of Wrath and drinking Lucifer’s Apocalypse Apple alcohol drinks with other rich ladies. Nebula didn’t mind too much; she herself was busy tending to the young Stolas and fulfilling her own obligations.

  CHAPTER II: STOLAS’ CHILDHOOD

 Stolas grew up fast and soon became a fluffy, adorable owlet. He cuddled his red rabbit everywhere he went, posing on a red cushion for a picture. He even had it in his arms when a giant Venus Flytrap dribbled green slime onto the top of his head.

 “You sure are a natural with plants, son,” remarked his mother proudly as Stolas fed a small piece of meat to a baby flytrap. The plant nudged Stolas in thanks before basking in the hellish sun. Nebula taught Stolas all about healing plants as well as poisonous ones. Stolas got to gaze into beautiful crystals from far and wide. Some were tall and blue, others pulsed with red energy. A few were black and were specialized for dark energy spells.

 “There are many kinds of crystals,” Nebula explained as she hovered her hand around lined books, skulls, and gems in one of the libraries. “Luciferian crystals, those are the black ones, for advanced hexing and magic. Satan crystals, the red ones, are for power. The purple ones from the Sloth Ring induce calmness, and the green ones create a desire for greed and accomplishment.”

 She held up a couple teal-white crystals on necklaces, Stolas mesmerized by their glow. “These ones are special: the Asmodean Crystals. Mined by imps in the Ring of Lust, and infused with power by Asmodeus himself. Popular to use for jewelry, these crystals allow the person to project strong feelings of love and passion onto a chosen subject. In addition, it allows for succubi and incubi to access the Living World.”

 “The Living World?” Stolas asked in wonder.

 “Indeed. Succubi and incubi are one of few demons other than the elite who have easy access to that world. Asmodeus sends them there to seduce humans, thus encouraging them to sin. Then when they die, they help increase Hell’s population!”

 “Cool,” Stolas breathed.

 “Of course, they are under strict lock and key,” said Nebula, tucking them away. “Wouldn’t want any royalty or imps or villains stealing them and causing more family problems in the future! Now let’s review your demonic Latin and Enochian words.”

 0 0 0

 Almost every night, he and his mother would stand on the balcony together and name the constellations. Nebula often wore gorgeous gowns of midnight blue that sparkled with stars that moved on the silky fabric surface. Stolas learned about the wonders of space from his mother, who provided him with endless books and stories. Some of Stolas’ favorite bedtime stories were those about the bizarre world where mortals resided in.

 “They have the same stars as we do, up on Earth,” Nebula said one night. “But of course, there’s no red sky there, it’s always blue. And it’s nowhere near as hot over there as it is here in Hell. Heaven kind of makes its own stars and rainbows and shit. I don’t really know.”

 “That’s pretty cool!” said Stolas. “Could we visit there someday?”

 “Going there is forbidden, unfortunately,” she explained. “Only mature experienced demons can access the Living World and that’s under certain conditions. We must study their world in secret and not allow any terrified humans to see us.”

 “Well, I heard that there’s a new Imp City that was built not too long ago. Perhaps we could go there and explore!”

 “We’ll see what your father thinks,” she said. “You know how disdainful he is of the poor.”

 “Okay,” Stolas said with a sigh. Then he brightened and held up a brown book with a many-eyed frog and toad on it. “I know the differences between frogs and toads! Wanna hear it?”

 “I’ve heard it five times already but okay,” Nebula giggled. She pat her son affectionately on the head and Stolas closed his eyes in happiness.

 “Stars, plants, hell’s citizens…you will be a powerful great prince of Hell,” mused Nebula. She conjured glowing images of the constellations and Stolas reached out to touch them in wonder. The images burst into silver sparkles near his face that made Stolas giggle.

 Looking back at the sky, Stolas’ eyes widened as he spotted a shooting star near the red and black inverted pentagram moon. “Look, Mother! A shooting star!”

 “Go ahead and make a wish,” she said. “But don’t say it out loud or it won’t come true. Just think about it in your head.”

 Stolas closed his eyes. “I wish I had a friend to spend time with!” he thought.

 “I wish I could always spend time with you, Mother,” said Stolas. “We seem to be so busy a lot.”

 “I know. But no matter where life takes us or what happens to me, I’ll never be far away from you, my little Starfire,” said Nebula, kissing her son on the head.

 There was something else that Stolas treasured from a young age…his bond with the imps. They helped make the family dinners, clean the chambers, make the beds, and made sure things ran smoothly. His favorite companion was his personal butler imp. Whenever his father was too busy with his own lavish pursuits, the white-mustached imp butler would be there to tend to his every need. In a way, the imp was more of a fatherly figure than his own dad. Aside from helping Stolas get dressed, he often just stood there as Stolas told him all the things he learned about in his books. Although the butler had duties of his own, he was happy to listen to his prince. Stolas and Nebula never treated him cruelly; in fact, for them, the butler was just another member of the family.

 For the most part, Stolas’ childhood was magical.

           CHAPTER III:  SEVERAL DECADES AGO, c. 1995…

 Stolas was soon a little eleven-year-old owl child, bursting with curiosity and life. Stolas’ palace stood elegantly as ever in the dawn in the Pride Ring. There was a white telescope off to the left and sparkly magenta pink curtains draped over the thin pillars that lined a marble balcony. Constellations glowed against the walls and King Paimon’s four-looped sigil glowed in the front structure below the balcony. Inside in a bedroom, little Stolas snuggled happily with his stuffed red rabbit toy with sharp teeth (resembling a demonic Max from “Sam and Max”) and four small imp horns sticking from its head. There was a pink unicorn teddy bear with white curly hair off to the side. Smiling plant plushies and stuffed flowers fashioned with buttons also surrounded him. Red curtains surrounded his large bed. Wearing navy blue stripped pajamas, the young Stolas yawned, smacked his lips, and slowly opened his eyes. Then he sat up in excitement, four eyes wide.

 “My birthday! My birthday! It’s my birthday!”

 Stolas happily jumped out of bed, landing on all fours. He then raced into the adjacent dressing room. “Yay!” he cheered with his small black arms in the air. A butler imp with a white mustache, a bowtie, a dark gray vest, and white hair followed him. His arms were folded behind him, and his pointed tail was spiked.

 The dressing room was dim, dark, and draped in various shades of purple curtains. The large vanity mirror was bordered by eighteen purple flower lights on a golden vine and up at the top was a structure with five slanted shapes like eyes for decoration. The purple dresser was decorated with small blue ringed planets on the drawers. The mirror reflected a white bathtub with white candles and glowing teal constellations hovering in the air.

 “Yaaay! Birthday, birthday! Woohoo!” Stolas cheered as he pushed a red stool in place and stood on top. “Birthday tiiiime!” In front of Stolas was a small gold crown on a red crown cushion.

 “Calm yourself, young prince,” the butler reminded him as he applied hair gel to the top and sides of Stolas’ feathery hair and face. “You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.” The butler walked off.

 Stolas chuckled apologetically. “Oh! Right.” He took a deep breath and his face lit up again. “But Father told me today is the day I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility!”

 Stolas’ eyes sparkled as the butler put a red vest on Stolas and buttoned it. He then proceeded to put Stolas’ red cape on him.

 “Of course,” said the butler, putting a small gold crown on Stolas’ head. “I’m sure it will be wonderful.”

 With the vest, cape, and crown, Stolas looked more like a regal prince. The butler then led the way to the throne room, Stolas following in excitement.

 Down the hall were giant royal portraits off to the side. The first one showed the egg Stolas hatched from, the egg sitting on a pink cushion and a crown on top of it. The next one showed Stolas as an ugly baby hatchling bundled up in a crib in a red blanket with a gold pin with the Goetia family insignia on it. His face was orange, his eyes purple and sunken. Stolas’ stuffed red rabbit sat nearby. The next one showed a happy Stolas as a toddler holding his rabbit toy on a red pillow. In the next one, Stolas again, held his toy as a giant Venus Fly Trap plant dripped green slime on his head.

 The double doors opened, and a shadowy figure sat on his throne under orange curtains with hanging purple and gold jewels. A long-clawed arm rose from the armrest. In a flash, shadowy monster heads roared then fused together into a fierce shadow hydra with many red eyes. The hydra briefly switched to a tall demon with ram horns, then into a monstrous elephant head, then into a flying bat-winged eye with dog heads below. Finally, the room brightened and there stood the towering owl Paimon in his ordinary form. He wore a starry red and gold cape with a high collar like a vampire. Red swirly designs curved on his white masked portion of his face, his pink eyes glowing with authority. A tall three-pointed gold crown with a red diamond and infinity symbol was perched on his brown feathery head. On either side of his crown, his hair arched upwards, giving the appearance of four brown horns.

 The butler took his position beside the king.

 “Ahhh!” said Paimon with a smile, arms out. “There is my little, uh…”

 Stolas smiled gleefully at his father.

 Paimon whispered to his butler. “Which son is this one? There’s so fucking many.”

 “Stolas, your highness,” replied the imp.

 “Stolas!” exclaimed Paimon. He chuckled. “Yes! Ha! Right, right! That’s the one!” He walked toward Stolas. “The owl boy.”

 Paimon leaned down toward his son’s face, Stolas bearing a surprised look. “Well, my little one…”

 Paimon stood up and walked in front of him. “It is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family.”

  Paimon briefly looked down at his son and mentioned, “How good for you,” before continuing his regal walk. “Are you ready to know what you’ll be meant to do to serve Hell?”

 “Yes father!” Stolas stated confidently.

 Paimon opened portal above his head, revealing a starry sky.

 “You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth’s skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff.”  Stolas looked in awe as a teal green comet and a purple comet flashed across the room.

 A bunch of green vines and vivid colored flowers burst from one of Paimon’s clawed hands. A Venus fly trap popped out and snapped its jaws. “You will study the various properties of plants, herbs, poisons from here and Earth, how they can hurt and heal.”

 A pink flower flew in the breeze and gently touched Stolas’ cheek. The young owl giggled as he held the flower in his hand.

 The plants vanished and in Paimon’s other hand appeared blue and red crystals. “You will also be invested in the study of precious stones, crystals, and gems in both places, how they are used in spell work, healing, prophecies, strength, etc.”

 Stolas admired his glowing eyes reflected in the crystal’s surfaces.

 The crystals vanished as well.

 “Isn’t that fun?” Paimon asked, as a blue grimoire with a gold moon appeared hovering in a magic aura over his hand. On the back of the book was Stolas’ sigil. “You will begin your studies of your grimoire, which will grant you access to the Mortal Realm to study and observe…”

 Paimon levitated the book toward Stolas, who eagerly grabbed it.

 Paimon continued in a passionate tone. “And you will grow to be a mighty Prince of Hell with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to!”

 “I will do my best, Father!” the confident Stolas proclaimed proudly. Stolas couldn’t wait to get started! Everything would be just fine…

 “Wonderful!” Paimon exclaimed. Then he spoke faster. “Also, son, you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family, so you are now engaged.”

 Stolas paused and raised an eyebrow.  “Wait, what? What’s a precautionary…”

 Paimon chuckled. “Oh, Stolas, it means that you are engaged to be married to your future wife for the purpose of raising a child who will help continue the family line! Congratulations!”

 “M-married? To whom?” Stolas asked.

 Paimon held out a picture to Stolas. “Her name is Stella. Isn’t she charming?” he chuckled.

 In the picture was a white swan princess that gave off a bratty Azula/Angelica Pickles/Veruca Salt vibe. She wore a feathery dress of dark gray at the bottom and white at the top. Her white feathery hair was in pigtails with two pink bows and two gold crowns on her head. Her parents had given her two black fly-like dogs as a present. A disgusted Stella had stomped on the head of one and angrily choked another in her hands. The creatures cried from their yellow/red eyes as Stella’s pink eyes glowed with menace.

 A scared Stolas burst into tears and turned away from the picture in fear.  

 “Ohh!” Paimon exclaimed. “That’s an ugly noise, son. Here…” he pat Stolas on the head. “How about you cease this bitch crying?”

 Stolas cried louder.

 “Hm, that usually works,” Paimon said. “Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Children enjoy the circus, right?” He pat Stolas on the head again. “Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?”

 A tear rolled down Stolas’ cheek as he stood in somber silence.

 “Butler!” Paimon called. “Bring my magic gold mirror so I can see what goes on in that dump. And bring along two Doberman dog guards.”

 “Guards, sir?” asked the imp.

 “Yes, guards! I don’t care much for the boy, but I don’t want him to get hurt from any rowdy commoner imps at the circus. Fetch them!”

 “Yes, your highness.”

 The imp bowed and wandered off. A tear rolled down Stolas’ cheek and dripped off.

 0 0 0

 A few hours later, a sad Stolas stood with the imp butler at the top of the stairs, flanked by the bi-pedal guard dogs in black suits. They were under a striped circus tent with hanging lights up above. Circus music played in the background. Imps of various shapes and sizes sat in the rows, their yellow eyes glowing. One fat imp was snoring in his seat while several child imps sat with their parents. Another was eating popcorn. Stolas held his grimoire in his hands. It wasn’t as comforting as his rabbit toy, but it was better than nothing.

 In the mirror, Paimon looked around then whispered to the butler. “Is there a spot that’s close to the front, but also far enough that I don’t have to…”

 He sniffed and gagged…

 “…smell the poor?”

 A few minutes later, the butler, the dogs, and Stolas stood in an empty section with a crude brown cloth sign that read “GOETIA” in dripping black paint.

 The scene went black as two spotlights showed two imps in green clown suits and white painted faces juggling four balls in their hands. Two imps in purple suits did a series of flips and landed gracefully to the front. A young female imp wearing a yellow and green gymnastics top balanced on one hand atop a black horse with a skull face, plus a mane and tail of neon green flames. The horse had green and yellow feathers atop its head with matching colored saddle and bells. The black heart-shaped symbol seen on the foreheads of the performers was displayed at the top of the stadium inside a red heart bordered by lights. The horse galloped past Stolas and crew, but only Paimon clapped his hands and hooted with delight. “Hohohohoho!” It was a parallel to when an excited Stolas took his bored daughter to the circus in the future.

 Stilt-walker imps wearing purple and yellow costumes were juggling balls in the air. Blitzo’s sister Barbie Wire was twirling on a tightrope wearing a purple dress and holding a yellow umbrella in her hand. She had black curled ram-like horns with small white stripes on them. She spun in the air and landed back on the tightrope. She smiled and posed.

 “Hohohohohoho!” Paimon clapped again. Stolas half-heartedly flicked a peanut off the top of his grimoire.

 Another performer breathed fire as a group of imps dressed in clown suits and bells over their horns balanced on top of each other in an inverted imp pyramid, holding gold rings. Two imps leaped through the hoops. Four imps balanced on a board and a small imp blew fire from a torch on top of the others. The crowd cheered. A knife thrower imp guy with white hair threw a knife near where a smiling black-haired imp woman was bond to a plank of wood with a target painted on it. Stolas bumped his head three times against his book, clearly upset.

 Stolas then looked up as the ringmaster imp spoke up. He had long curved horns, a purple top hat, and a stitched up old circus costume of green and dark green vertical stripes. He was Cash Buckzo, Blitzo’s greedy father.

 “Nowwww, everyone’s favorite thing about circus shit: the motherfucking clowns!”

 The crowd screamed and gasped as ten imps in clown outfits leaped forward.

 A small foot stepped onto a board high in the air.

 “You ready Blitzo?” asked a young Fizzarolli.

 A young Blitzo grinned, tugging the rope. “Born ready, Fizzarolli!” Blitzo didn’t mind the “o” in his name.

 At the same time, the two young imps swung off the boards, holding onto ropes. Fizzarolli was a child imp, wearing a teal green suit with red markings and red bells attached to his intact stripped imp horns. He also wore a red clown nose. The young Blitzo’s face was red and scar-free, and he wore purple overalls and a pink shirt underneath.

 This happy moment was back when Blitzo’s mother Tilla was still alive, before Barbie Wire went to rehab and before Fizzarolli lost his limbs and horns. It was clear that the two were best friends, who both loved money, Mammon, and the thrill of the show. Blitzo took Fizzarolli’s hand and together they swung around the stadium in a big arc. Both of them laughed together as they swung past Stolas.

 Stolas’ eyes suddenly lit up as he caught sight of the happy Blitzo. The imp’s face reminded him of the comfort of his rabbit toy.

 “A new friend!” Stolas thought, happily.

 After Fizzarolli and Blitzo landed down safely, Blitzo balanced on a red and yellow ball with an eye design on it. He posed with a “Haaa! Ta-da!”

 Then he said, “Heya folks! Wanna see me make a horse?”

 Blitzo pulled out a green balloon and blew into it. He rapidly wrapped it and it appeared as a bundle of knots before it popped.

 “Crap,” Blitzo muttered. He blew another balloon and tried again, but it popped again.

 He tried again. And tried again. But the balloons kept popping.

 “De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do,” Blitzo hummed nervously as a bored and unimpressed audience stared down at him.

 Blitzo chuckled nervously. “Ah, he, he! Horse!” He showed a green balloon horse, except it had no legs. “Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working, so they had to amputate, now it’s a gross worm horse.”

 The young Stolas laughed.

 Blitzo smiled and pointed at him. “See, he gets it because horses, they make no sense.”

 Fizzarolli chuckled and stood beside Blitzo. “Okay, Blitzo, that’s enough ‘horsing’ around!”

 In one try, Fizzarolli made a perfect red balloon horse, presenting it to the crowd. “Hey everybody, look at this! It’s Banana Pudding the clown horsey! Neigh!”

 The crowd laughed as Blitzo looked down sadly and sighed.

 “I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny,” said Stolas. “Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it’s called Laminitis.” He watched Blitzo balance on the ball with his legless balloon horse in his hand and Fizzarolli performing by his side.

 Paimon raised a confused eyebrow at his son, staring at him judgmentally. “Perhaps the crazy owl prince would be easily entertained by that common imp,” thought Paimon. “It’d be nice to get my random son out of my hair so I can focus on more important duties. Like terrorizing desert dwellers on my camel! Or lounging with the ladies in Sloth! Or better yet, be around a dignified mature son who’s more like me.”  

 Paimon watched the ringmaster imp retreat backstage with a bottle of Greed Mead and had a clever idea.

 0 0 0

 Backstage inside the Big Top, Cash Buckzo gulped his Greed Mead on an old mattress, wearing patched up gray pants, a worn pink and magenta stripped top, and an old gray patched up top hat. A pair of underwear and an old shirt hung on a clothesline above him. Mirrors, jester caps and props were stored messily in a cabinet and some boxes. A “Fortune Teller” box stood in the background. A rug showed the black heart-like circus family symbol with red and white circus stripes. It symbolized the unity of many imp families living the life of “circus freaks” as other imps called them. It was a way to get by and the bonds were enough.

 Cash Buckzo paused in mid-drink as the imp butler and the dogs walked inside.

 “What a show,” Paimon remarked from the mirror. “That was real great so…”

 He cleared his throat. “That little clown you have. My son really enjoyed that one. I was wondering if I could buy him.” His hands were clenched together in excitement.

 Cash Buckzo looked taken aback. “Buy him?”

 Paimon put his hands together and his pointer finger moved outward. “Purchase him, yes, accurate.”

 Paimon clapped his hands, and the butler pressed a button that made the mirror move right into Cash Buckzo’s face. Sweat dripped down his face as he felt the king lean over him.

 “My son doesn’t have any friends you see, and he liked the little clown boy. It’s his birthday, he’s so sad and I don’t want to deal with him. Can I write a check?”

 Cash Buckzo began, “Well, Fizzarolli is a big draw. He has a few more shows to be in today, so it would be pretty expensive.” He rubbed his fingers in a “give me money” gesture and smirked.

 Paimon chucked. “No, no, the other one.”

 “Blitzo?!” Cash Buckzo looked shocked.

 “Correct. How much?”

 Cash Buckzo stroked his small white goatee. “Wha-Well he’s my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket?”

 The butler pulled out a waded $5 bill and a pink wrapped “cumdom.” “A wadded up five and a slim-fit condom,” said Paimon.

 An annoyed Cash Buckzo was about to demand more but saw Blitzo swipe a small horse toy from a shelf in the background…and got an idea.

 “Ah, that’s plenty, done,” Cash Buckzo scoffed.

 “Splendid,” said Paimon. “Fetch him for me and we will be on our way.”

 Paimon clapped his hands and he and the butler vanished up through a red portal. The explosion caused half of the tent and a pole to collapse into debris and dust.

 Cash Buckzo shrugged. He remembered when he first got attracted to Tilla way back when. He remembered how she always wanted to help those in need, so it wasn’t hard to pull off the “homeless victim” look. Tilla was an exceptionally good animal tamer and before long, they both became part of the circus. They had some drinks, fucked, and out came the twins. He worked his way up to ringmaster, always searching for that pretty penny. He often got frustrated whenever his family didn’t perform hard enough…especially his son.

 “If we want to be in good standing for Lord Mammon,” Cash Buckzo would say, “We gotta look the part! Act the part! Be the part! Perform like you’ll win a million souls, or you’d alternatively face double death otherwise.” He’d also add in lines such as “Mammon sees the wealth of potential in you! Don’t you kids wanna be his stars?!”

 “Yes Papa!” Barbie Wire and Blitzo would chime in, along with Fizzarolli.

 Cash Buckzo wasn’t sure what to make of this unexpected situation.

 But then again, he could always suggest to his children to do things in his favor.

 “This’ll be a piece of hell-cake,” he thought, eyeing a bottle of Greed Mead nearby.

 0 0 0

 Meanwhile, Blitzo and Fizzarolli played with their balloon horses together on a purple rug with a teal spiral decoration.

 Fizzarolli moved his red balloon horse. “I’m Banana Pudding, and I like to dance!”

 “I am Worm Horse!” said Blitzo, holding his legless green balloon horse. “And I… I am sad!”

 “Why are you sad, Worm Horse?”

 “Because, I have no legs!”

 “Oh, well that’s okay.”

 “I lost all my legs in…The War,” Blitzo dramatized.

 Fizzarolli gasped. “The War?!”

 “Yes!” said Blitzo. “The Great Pirate War!”

 Fizzarolli giggled. “No, no pirates.”

 “It’s a great pirate warrrr!” Blitzo teased.

 Fizzarolli exasperated, “If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.”

 Blitzo dramatized as he played, “I fought bravely but I could not run fast enough. They took my legs, there was blood everywhere!”

 Fizzarolli laughed at Blitzo. “Oh no, eww! No blood. Blood is disgusting!”

 Blitzo stood up with a grin. “No, blood is cool!” He laughed.

 Fizzarolli moved his horse in a dance and giggled. “Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over Worm Horse and make him feel better!”

 “And then…” Blitzo paused dramatically. “There will be more blood!” He did a fake evil laugh as he squirted ketchup all over his green horse.

 “Blitzo!” Fizzarolli laughed. “That’s so gross! Stop!”

 Blitzo held up his ketchup bottle, arms in the air. “Never!”

 (The balloon toys were a foreshadowing of Fizzarolli, the green horse, losing his legs in the distant future…)

 Just then, Cash Buckzo grabbed Blitzo and pulled him up.

 “Boy, I’ve got a job for you.”

 They walked off to the side, his father holding Blitzo’s wrist tightly. “You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.”

 Blitzo made a face. “Eww. Why?”

 “Because money!” exclaimed his father, turning around. “Now listen carefully, you are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.”

 “Steal?” Blitzo asked, yanking his arm away from his father’s tight grip. He flinched. “But what if I get caught?”

 Cash Buckzo went into manipulation mode. “Oh Blitzo. Don’t you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? Better food? Don’t you want to be able to help me and your mama out?” His lip trembled.

 “Of course I wanna help Mama!” Blitzo declared. Tilla was very sick, and the imp siblings grew more worried each day. “I’d do anything!”

 “Then you gotta do this, everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune!” His claws curled upwards; his eyes full of greed.

 The young Blitzo still looked unsure. “But if I’m caught…I’m scared dad.”

 Cash Buckzo put a hard hand on his son’s shoulder. “There are scarier things, aren’t there, son?”

 Exorcists. Monsters. His father on a bad day.

 “But…” Blitzo began but his father widened his yellow and black eyes into tearful puppy-dog eyes, with a trembling lip.

 “Yes, Papa,” Blitzo responded dejectedly.

 0 0 0

 Later that night, Blitzo and his father traveled from their Greed Ring homeland through a portal to the Pride Ring, where Stolas and his father stood waiting. They met by the elegant trickling water fountain outside the palace. Blitzo yanked his arm free from his father’s grip and stepped forward. Both boys looked nervous.

 “Here is your new friend, my son. Happy birthday,” Paimon shrugged.

 Stolas’ face lit up. “A friend?”

  Blitzo rubbed his neck in worry. “I guess. Hi, uh, I’m Blitzo.”

 Stolas bowed politely. “I’m Stolas. It’s nice to…”

 Paimon smacked his son on the head. “Don’t bow to that one! He bows to us! Idiot.”

 “Oh, right. Sorry Father.” Stolas rubbed his arm.

 “I’m so good at daddying!” Paimon bragged as the boys ran inside the palace together.  

 “As am I,” Cash Buckzo sneered as he snuck off toward the bushes in the shadows.

 0 0 0

 Blitzo and Stolas sat together in one of the libraries inside the palace. Stolas had showed Blitzo piles of books on the floor, at least twenty. The hours dragged by, leaving Blitzo in sheer absolute boredom.

 “This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads,” lectured Stolas. He held up a brown book with a frog on it, eggs and “Frogs and Toads” on it, reminiscent of “Frog and Toad are Friends” books. “There’s a lot of differences.”

 He held up another book with white flowers on it in a pentagon-shaped glass dome with “Botany” as the title. “And this is my book on plants and herbs. Did you know that plants can hear you?”

 “Plants are boring!” Blitzo spat, standing up. “This is all boring stuff!”

 “Oh,” said Stolas in surprise, briefly looking away. “I’m sorry. I never had a friend to share my books with.”

 Blitzo slumped and looked around at all the treasures in the palace.

 All the treasures…just waiting to be hunted for…

 Blitzo grinned and stepped closer to Stolas. He had a sudden idea.

 “You know what would be fun? A game!” He lowered Stolas’ book. “Let’s play treasure hunt!”

 “What’s that?” asked Stolas.

 “It’s where we pretend we are pirates,” said Blitzo, picking up a tan feather and wielding it like a sword. “…and we go around the house collecting all the nicest things…”

 He picked up a book and then stepped onto two larger piles of books like stairs.

 “…and then, we throw them out the window!” He threw the book off in the distance.

 “We…throw them out the window?” Stolas asked in confusion.

 “Yes!”

 “Since when did pirates throw things out windows?”

 Blitzo spread his arms out. “Since like the dawn of time!” He stepped down from the book piles. “Come on! Pirates are always throwing stuff out windows!”

 “I don’t think they had windows,” mentioned Stolas.

 “What? Did a book say that?” Blitzo asked.

 “Yes, actually. Several,” Stolas replied, pulling out two pirate books, an orange one labeled “Pirates,” and the other blue one which was labeled “The Porthole Myth.”  

 Blitzo grabbed the books from Stolas and tossed them to the side. “Well in this game, we are throwing them out the window because it’s fun!” He spread out his arms.

 “Well,” began Stolas, “That’s an odd game.” Then he gasped. “Is this an imp game?” He tilted his head in curiosity.

 “Sure,” Blitzo shrugged. “Why not?”

 “Well, if it’s what you want to play…”

 “Let’s do it!” Blitzo cried, putting his arm around Stolas.

 An ornate crystal chandelier hung above a resplendent hallway. Blitzo laughed as he swiped ornate vases off stands and tossed them into a brown sack in his other hand. Stolas panted as he tried to keep up.

 “Come on, come on, come on!” Blitzo called.

  Blitzo grabbed a gold vase with red gems, a small mirror, a thin purple vase, a thick green and yellow vase, a crystal ball, and purple crystals. He grabbed more vases from a shelf and tossed them to Stolas who put them in the sack. Stolas moved around to catch the falling objects. Blitzo climbed a shelf and gave Stolas a thumbs up. An unsure Stolas gave a thumbs up back.

 Blitzo opened a treasure chest full of gold coins, crystals, pearl necklaces, a necklace with an eye in a red gem, goblets, and a moon watch. Both boys laughed as they grabbed handfuls of treasure and stuffed them into the sack.

 Stolas handed Blitzo a green bottle which he had struggled to reach and smiled. Blitzo shoved a barrel off a shelf, and it rolled on the floor. Before long, they had cleared the room of crystals, skulls, books, potions, and barrels, all somehow managing to stuff everything inside the sack. After jumping on the sack in excitement, they slid other crystals and valuables from shelves into the sack as they rode on a moving ladder. They raced down vast hallways until coming up to an ornate spiral crystal chandelier just above their heads.

 “Wow!” They breathed as they stared at the chandelier in wonder. Blitzo proceeded to snatch a string of crystals from the chandelier as they both stood in the center.  “Yay!” they cheered. The sparkling magical world spun round them, their heads in a spin. They lay on their backs on the marble floor, laughing with no care in the world. Constellations dotted the ceiling as they reached a balcony, the sky crimson red in the twilight.

 Stolas and Blitzo danced along until a whistle from outside made Blitzo pause.

 Blitzo walked onto the balcony and lifting himself on the railing. A rustle in the bushes sounded below and there was his father. With a grin, he mentioned for his son to toss down the sack. Blitzo glanced at the oblivious Stolas, who was trying to reach a book. With some effort, Blitzo tossed it down into his father’s arms. His father grinned sinisterly and disappeared back under the bushes with the sack.

 “Blitzo! Over here!” called Stolas. Blitzo raced to meet his friend. The sky filled with stars and the red clouds parted to paint a calmer magenta shade. A crescent moon was at the top of a large tree.

 Blitzo climbed the tree while Stolas read his book.

 Blitzo looked at Stolas after falling upside down, hanging by his tail. “So, what is that? Your diary?”

 “No. This is my new grimoire,” said Stolas. “It’s a spell book. I have to learn it so that I can access the Living World.”

 “The Living World?” Blitzo asked, swinging. “Like the world with humans and stuff? Where the sinners come from?”

 “Mmmhmm,” Stolas nodded.

 “That’s cool!” Blitzo exclaimed, flipping and landing down onto a root.

 “Yes! I’m supposed to learn to use it to study the sky!” said Stolas.

 “Why?”

 “My dad said I can find prophecies, but I don’t really know. But I’m supposed to, that’s what my job will be when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.”

 Blitzo stood up confidently with his hands on his hips. He put one hand to his heart. “Well, you know what I’m gonna do when I grow up?” He climbed the black and red tree trunk and hoisted himself onto a branch. “I’m gonna run my own circus and I’m gonna be the most famous imp ever and I’ll be able to do what I want to do all day! I’m gonna make so much money and buy myself a big building with a big office!” He stood up in excitement.

 “A big office? For a circus?”

 “Yeah! A big office! Circus business with clowns and horses!” He cupped his cheeks and his eyes shone with giddiness. “And the horses will all have good names like Stapler and Biscuit Queen!” His eyes shone again.

 Stolas giggled. “I’m sure you will. That sounds like a good business.”

 “Yeah! And if you apply, I’ll hire you. Maybe.”

 Stolas laughed. “You’ll hire me?”

 “Yeah, if I feel like it.” Blitzo shrugged and jumped back down.

 “Well, I hope I qualify,” Stolas replied with a giggle. “You’d be a good boss. One helluva boss!”

 “You say that with sarcasm but I totes would!” Blitzo replied with a confident pose.

 Both boys laughed together underneath the tree, savoring the wonderful moment.

 CHAPTER IV: STOLAS’ TEEN YEARS c. 2003

Ever since Stella came into Stolas’ life, it was nothing short of torture. It was literally hell in Hell. Back when Stolas had still been a child, his father had nudged him forward to meet Stella face to face out by the fountain. There she was in her frilly feathery pink and black dress, pink bowties in her hair and two crowns on her head. She stood with her ice peacock brother Andrealphus and her two cold-hearted parents, Queen Eis and King Boreas. Eis was a tall swan who had ice powers like Andrealphus. Boreas was a vain peacock who was closely connected with Malphas.

 The young Stella and Andrealphus elbowed each other until a firm glare from their mother made them stop.

 “Your majesties, I present to you, one of my many sons, Stolas,” said Paimon.

 “Here is my daughter Stella and this is my son Andrealphus,” replied Eis. “Stella is quite picky about food. She’ll only eat the finest raw rodents, fried eggs of dragons and the occasional mortal intestine.”

 A black fly dog raced over and growled at Stella. Immediately, the girl screamed in anger, grabbed the creature by the neck and smashed its head several times against the cobblestone. Stolas watched in horror as the fly-puppy whined and buzzed, tears spilling from it’s yellow-sclera and red pupil eyes. After stomping on its head, the creature lay unmoving among blood splatters.

 Stolas whimpered.

 “Mother!” barked Stella. “I asked for two hell-ponies, not those disgusting vermin!”

 “But you swore that you’d freeze all of Hell if I didn’t get you pets,” Eis reminded her. “The fly-dogs were the only creatures they had at the store.”

 “Do better! I’ve already had to exterminate three!”

 Then Stella glared at the flinching Stolas. “Ew. Who’s the pathetic little bitch?”

 “Your future husband,” said Boreas. “Go along and play, now.”

 “Right this way,” said Paimon to Stella’s family. “My imps prepared your dinner just as you like it, raw and cold!”

 Stella smirked evilly at Stolas, who gulped. She stared at Stolas like a bully who spotted a kid with a target on their back.

 Paimon clapped his hands in delight. “Oh Stolas, what a sweet charming little girl! You two will be perfect together!”

  A few moments later in a hallway, Stolas was sobbing loudly after Stella dangled his red rabbit toy in the air. She used her other hand to push Stolas back.

 “Give it back!” he cried. “That’s my special bunny!”

 “What are you gonna do about it?” Stella mocked as she strut toward a balcony. “I always get what I want, and I want what you want the most!”

 “I don’t want that!” Stolas pouted.

 “You don’t want this? Good!” She cackled and tossed the toy out the window where it landed in mud. “No!” he cried.

 Stella shouted “Freak!” from behind Stolas and pinched him on the arm.

 “Leave me alone!” he cawed.

  In anger, Stolas swiped at her dress and feathers flew everywhere.

 “That was hand-made by my imp servants!” she spat. She gripped Stolas hard by the neck as he cried out for help. Just as Stella was about to hit Stolas in the face, they heard footsteps. Stella let go of his neck, Stolas wheezing in response. Stella did an innocent curtsey and smile as the parents approached.

 “Aww,” smiled Eis. “Look at those two happily playing together.”

 “I knew they were a match made in Hell,” Boreas smiled.

 Eis gave Stella some candy and a new necklace for her “good behavior.” But unfortunately for Stolas, all he got was a forced family picture with Stella and her family later that night. (Stolas had to hold the golden mirror that showed Paimon’s face for the portrait.) The parents posed elegantly; Stella glared at the camera while Stolas looked off sadly. Stella blew raspberries at Stolas behind her parent’s backs as they left. Andrealphus gave Stolas a look of superiority and didn’t hesitate to bump into him on the way out.

 “See you next time!” Paimon smiled from within the gold mirror.

 Stolas later curled up in a ball and cried in his dark room, a picture of Nebula next to him and his dirty tattered bunny toy.

 0 0 0

 Stolas and Stella got married when Stolas was only eighteen. Stella walked down the aisle wearing a white feathery dress and veil. Stolas wore a dark black suit and red bowtie with the Goetia family sigil pin on the top. Both of them wore their gold crowns…and dull expressions on their faces. They stood together holding hands from inside a Satanic church. Red and black roses decorated the aisles and black marble pillars. Stained glass windows depicted hunched over demons building Pandemonium, the capital palace building in Hell. Others showed Lucifer and Satan seated on thrones flanked by upside down red crosses. Candles glowed blue and black all around the vast chamber.

 “We are gathered here today,” said a red bull demon with a flaming bull skull for a head, “to celebrate the wedding of his majesty Prince Stolas and her majesty Princess Stella. If you have any objections to this bond, please say them out loud and we’ll throw you into a lake of fire.”

 Brimming in both Stolas and Stella’s eyes was a sense of non-negotiable commitment, a loss of their teenage freedom. There was a heavy sense of awkwardness and in Stolas’ case, dread. If they stared into each other’s eyes for too long, Stella’s pink eyes glowed with fire while Stolas’ red eyes shrank back toward darkness.

 “Do you, Stolas Goetia, son of King Paimon, take Stella to be your wedded wife?” asked the demon.

 “I do,” said Stolas with no emotion.

 “And do you, Stella Goetia, sister of Marquis Andrealphus, take Prince Stolas to be your wedded husband?”

 “I do,” she glared.

 They exchanged rings as Andrealphus looked smug in a fancy white suit made of peacock feathers in the front row.

 The demon officiant cleared his throat. “By the power vested in me by Lord Lucifer, I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may now fuck and shit.”

 Stolas and Stella tentatively kissed as the two royal families clapped politely in their seats. Banners read in gold, “Congratulations Married Couple! May You Never Divorce!” More pictures were taken and Paimon made an appearance as well…from within his mirror of course.

 “How mad would Father be if I ‘accidentally’ broke it?” Stolas thought.

 Stella, of course, enjoyed the large fancy party, the drinks, and the dirty dancing. She basked in the attention and gossiped with her two white bird elite demons. Stolas, meanwhile, paid close attention to how Leviathan’s Sin Gin tasted, and was anxious to head back to the palace. Demon musicians played orchestral instruments and violins as Stolas and Stella danced. Both of them were buzzed from drinking and it was only because of the alcohol that the two did have some fun together later on. It was a blurry drunken honeymoon.

 The days, weeks, after the wedding were one of the worst times of Stolas’ life. Stella, obsessed with parties, status, and dominance, didn’t hesitate to take advantage of her puny husband. When she got especially angry, Stolas would have to duck to avoid his potted plants crashing into his face.

 Stolas endured slap after slap from Stella. She seemed to take pride in tormenting him.

 “This is all your fault!” she barked, slapping him in the face again. Stolas would flinch every time. “You and your father made me marry you and now I’m stuck here as a housewife.”

 Although they had enjoyable sex a few times, Stolas soon grew bored. One night in August 2003, Stella forcefully kissed him and shoved his dick into her hole. After some brief straining, a white egg fell out of her.

 Stella sighed in relief, “Finally. Now people won’t pester us about whether or not we have any kids.”

 Stolas’ eyes lit up in the dark. The egg rolled toward the edge of their master bed and Stella didn’t notice. With a soft gasp, Stolas managed to catch it in one swoop. The egg felt warm and damp in his hands.

 “I can’t believe it,” he said quietly. “I’m a father at nineteen.”

 “Good for you,” she scoffed. “I’m heading off to the 3AM soiree for drinks.”

 “Stella,” Stolas breathed as his wife headed toward the shower to clean herself up. “Our first child is in this egg.”

 “Not my problem.”

 “You need to take care of it too,” said Stolas.

 “Shut up and suck it! You don’t tell me what to do! Now if you’ll excuse me…”

 She stomped off.

 Stolas carried the egg toward the window and stood on the balcony. As the egg wobbled and cracked in his hands, he looked up at the sky.

 A solar eclipse had covered the red hell sun and red streaks of lightning lit up the sky. Darkness permeated all of Hell, so much that Stolas had to squint slightly to see in the dark. Stolas flipped through the hovering grimoire with his other hand and found a page. He gasped.

 “The prophecy is true. A powerful princess will be born under an eclipse and bear witness to Hell’s destruction…and help save so many…”

 The egg burst open a few minutes later and there lay an ugly hatching, eyes half-closed. Only the light around the grimoire made things visible in front of Stolas.

 “All my stories have been told,” Stolas breathed, sweat coating his face. “I’ve studied the stars and plants. I’ve gone to Goetia meetings and ruled over legions of demons. All my stories…except for this one.” The hatching stared at Stolas as the red light of the sun slowly reappeared, reflected in its newborn eyes.

 “You will be okay,” Stolas said to the hatchling.

 “Octavia,” Stolas breathed, coming up with her name on the spot, “I have a new purpose in life now…”

 0 0 0

 The years passed on and on. Day after day, Stolas sang lullabies to his baby owlet as Stella reluctantly played with Octavia and made her food. Stolas would sob to himself every week, enduring Stella’s abuse, and menacing taunts.

 “I have to get through this,” he thought. “For Via. Until she can take care of herself.”

 Stolas remembered one night vividly.

 “Mommy! Daddy!”

 Octavia’s cry roused the owl prince from his slumber.

 “Via’s calling us, Stella,” Stolas groaned sleepily.

 Stella let out a sigh. “You get up,” she replied tiredly.

 Stolas sighed and rose out of bed, briefly putting his fingers to his head. He opened the door to Octavia’s bedroom. The wallpaper consisted of several columns of moons and stars. Astronomy books lined a shelf while taped drawings on the wall showed stick figures of Stolas and Octavia, labeled “Daddy,” and “Me.” A nearby portrait showed a smiling Stolas giving an overjoyed Octavia a piggyback ride against a blue background.

 Stolas opened the white door, wearing his red housecoat and a pair of demon face slippers.

 “Via? What troubles you, my owlet?”

 A small, frightened face popped out from under the covers: little Octavia. She wore pink jammies with white stars on them. Her face was white, and her eyes were large and pink with white pupils. Three gray feathers stuck out from her feathery head, and she also had a little tail.

 “Daddy! Daddy!”

 She ran into her father’s arms.

 “I had a dream! A really bad dream!” Her mouth quivered in a whimper.

 Stolas scooped her up into his arms and yawned.

 “A nightmare.”

 He wiped a tear away from her face.

 Octavia spread out her arms. “I was looking all over the palace and…I couldn’t find you anywhere! You weren’t there!”

 Tears appeared from her eyes, and she hugged her father around the neck.

 “There, there, Via. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

 He pat her several times on the back and carried her into the room. A blue grimoire with a golden crescent moon on the cover floated into the room in a purple cloud of magic.

 Stolas sat down on the bed, Octavia in his lap. The book hovered next to him, and he waved his hand to turn the pages. Stolas looked at Octavia.

 “When you’re sacred and you don’t know where I am, you must remember…no matter what happens to me, I will never be far away from my special little Starfire.”

 He playfully poked her on the nose, and she giggled.

 Stolas waved his hand and magic surrounded it. He moved his hand to the ceiling and created a starry portal above their heads. Octavia looked up with wonder in her eyes. It was then that Stolas started singing his lullaby to her: “You Will Be Okay.”

 “It always seems more quiet in the dark”

“It always feels so stark”

 Both of them floated upward through the hole. A brilliant indigo night sky filled with stars was revealed. A small bright sun and a distant ringed planet hovered in the distance. Stolas stood on the surface of a large white moon dotted with craters of various sizes.

 “How silence grows under the moon

Constellations gone so soon”

 Stolas’ feet made talon bird tracks on the surface as he carried his daughter.

 “I used to think that I was bold

I used to think love would be fun

Now all my stories have been told

Except for one”

 Stolas looked down at Octavia’s innocent eyes as their faces shone from the pinkish light of the nearby star.

 The ringed planet hovered beside another planet bathed in purple-pink light. A rocky meteor caught on fire and soared toward a molten planet.

 “As the stars start to align

I hope you take it as a sign

That you’ll be okay”

 Stolas sat down on a small rock and held his daughter close.

 “Everything will be okay.”

 The meteor slowly dipped into the molten planet, turning a fiery orange. The meteor broke through the planet, causing it to break into rocky pieces. Stolas and Octavia sat on a floating chunk of rock as light burst upward from between the gaps of the planet debris.

 “And if the Seven Rings collapse

Although the day could be my last

You will be okay. When I’m gone you’ll be okay…”

 Octavia yawned and nestled into her father’s feathery chest with a small smile on her sleepy face.

 Like any good parent, Stolas wanted what was best for his child; to pass down existential knowledge for her to remember.

 “And when creation goes to die

You can find me in the sky”

 Seven planets and the moon they were on were pulled toward the pink sun, creating powerful impacts. The planets turned ashen black before everything burst into an explosion of light. Stolas’ vocalizing face was illuminated by the large pink smoke from the galactic explosion.

 Tears pooled in Stolas’ eyes as the portal closed behind him, now back in the bedroom. A red and gold metallic model of a solar system hung from the back wall. Stolas lifted the starry blanket and draped it over a sleeping Octavia.

 “Upon the last day

And you will be okay…”

 Having finished the lullaby, Stolas walked toward the door, looking at his daughter lovingly again before closing it. Octavia slept peacefully in her bed like a happy chick in a nest.

 Stolas spotted a shooting star in the night sky. He remembered to make a wish.

 “Mother, please let my daughter be okay.”

CHAPTER V: AROUND THE TIME OF THE 2019/2020 PIOLIT…

 Stolas’ only solace besides Octavia in his adulthood were the times where he could talk to and see his best friend…his best friend turned lover, Blitzo.

 Stolas slowly opened his eyes as he lay on his bed. He sat up and groaned loudly with his head in his hands. He pulled at his baggy eyes and pushed aside the sheets. With a tired expression, he slipped on his red robe and red slippers…and stared at himself in the mirror.

 Broken. Blank. Barely alive.

 He brushed his feathery head with a hand and took out a pink bottle. It was a pill bottle labeled “Belphegor’s Hard Candy Happy Pills,” Hell’s version of antidepressants. He popped a couple into his mouth and slouched on.

 He wandered over to his bookshelf and grabbed the grimoire from the top shelf. He opened it and the glowing constellations appeared from the book in front of him.  

 Stolas didn’t notice Blitzo just outside a pink glass window. His eyes darted around until they widened at the sight of Stolas and the grimoire. Stolas snapped the book shut and continued on his way.

 Blitzo frantically tried to pull open the window. When Stolas yawned and walked away, Blitzo gave him an angry look, hands against the pane.

 For the sake of his business and his survival…and for the chance to finally see horses…he had to get that grimoire!

 Stolas walked toward a door with three white stars on it. He slowly opened it and smiled at the sight of a sleeping teen Octavia. She lay peacefully with her eyes closed, just like she did as a young girl. Her rug was dotted with constellations, her purple sheets had crescent moons and stars on them, and a hanging planet mobile hung from the ceiling. White unlit candles were attached to the walls. Stolas smiled and gently closed the door. He walked into the kitchen and picked up a copper pot to make coffee in. Stella was talking on her feathery pink rotary phone. An imp held the phone stand.

 “I know we’re together, but it seems like I’m married to a fucking board. Stolas just lazes around and pouts. Everyone else gets better-mannered spouses. I know still being married isn’t a big enough occasion, but to be fair, it’s no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas.” She glared at him before turning back. Stolas opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a finger and turned away.

 Stolas poured his coffee into a blue mug with yellow stars on it. He sat at a table and took a sip of his coffee, using his magic to flip open a newspaper. A headline read “NOT DIVORCED ANNIVERSARY PARTY! Couples Only.”

 “Stella, what in hell is this?” Stolas asked in disgust.

 “Urgh Stolas, you know I like throwing parties. Plus, it’s true so, you can come if you want.” She flipped back her long white feathery hair and walked away, beak-nose in the air.

 Stolas dropped his newspaper and groaned in disgust. He figured he’d get it over with. He sipped his coffee…

 …and several hours later, he sipped wine from a glass at the party. Verosika’s sultry music theme from Spring Broken played in the background. Bird-like demons wearing royal garb chatted together in groups around the chamber-like room. A gray quail and a smaller blue parrot-like being danced together, both wearing fancy suits with long trims at the ends. The parrot held his partner under him in a dance. There were silver curtains hanging by the glass windows and spiral silver plants were displayed in pots. A female imp was serving a drink to a lady wearing a yellow dress, while another imp held two wine glasses on a platter. Another lady wore a magenta dress, fancy golden gloves and pink tips in her white feathery hair. She was with a gentleman bird who wore a matching magenta coat.

 Near the crystal spiral chandelier, Stella and two white birds dressed in formal attire were laughing and holding wine glasses in their hands. They loved gossiping and dressing up. Stella wore her usual white dress with a pink top and her gold crown on her head. The yellow-eyed woman owl wore a pink dress and a pearl necklace, while the male white bird wore a tuxedo and had yellow eyes.

 Stella laughed loudly as she gossiped. “No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing!” She sighed. “I’m glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.”

 Stella gulped down her drink and tossed her wine glass at the window, causing it to shatter. All three royals laughed loudly, while a grumpy Stolas stood stiffly under a blue banner reading “Not Divorced!”

 The three white birds walked off, Stella in the middle. Stella turned back and sneered at Stolas. “What a pathetic fucking man! Ha!”

 Stolas seethed and made hawk-like bird noises.

 Stella talked with her friends some more. “Poor people! Ugh! I’m so glad they’re not allowed in this thing! I don’t want them anywhere near me. Can you imagine if you didn’t have money?” She laughed derogatively.

 An imp waitress with black hair in a long ponytail, a white shirt and a black bowtie walked over. Stolas held up a finger.

 “Do you have anything stronger than this?”

 “We have absinthe, your highness,” she said nervously. She held out a plate bordered by a design of moons and constellations. Three gray dead mice on skewers lay on the plate.

 Stolas placed his empty glass on the plate.

 “Bring me all of it.”

 Stolas grabbed all three mice kababs and stuffed them into his mouth in one bite.

 The imp hurried off as Stolas chewed.

 The female imp shoved a male imp waiter forward toward Stolas. He caught a flying cup on the platter. Nervously, the imp poured a green alcoholic beverage into a small cup from a green heart-shaped flask on a platter. Stolas instead grabbed the flask and proceeded to gulp down as much absinthe as he could.

 “Stolas, sir?” asked a male voice.

 Stolas spat out the drink and coughed.

 “I’m fine!” the waiter called.

 Stolas saw two bi-pedal guards, one with a doberman head and a collar around his neck, the other gray and wolf-like. Both wore dark suits with neckties and dark sunglasses. In-between the guards, horns coated with mud and a yellow flower was none other than…

 Blitzo!

 “We got this nasty imp trying to sneak into your chambers,” said the wolf. “What should we do with him?”

 Blitzo smiled nervously at Stolas.

 Stolas’ face turned pink. His heart fluttered.

 “Into my chambers? Really? Oh well that is concerning,” Stolas pondered then cleared his throat. “Leave him to me.” His face turned pinker as he smirked. “I’ll deal with him accordingly.”

 The guards dropped Blitzo and the doberman lowered his head in disappointment.

 Blitzo stared up at Stolas on the floor as Stolas’ silhouette came over him.  

 “Follow me, imp,” Stolas deadpanned. Blitzo did so, looking very out of place at the fancy soiree. He folded his arms around himself.

  Blitzo glanced at the portraits that lined the hall.

 Stolas appeared in a gloomy father-son portrait, wearing a suit and a serious expression. His father Paimon appeared in red in the golden mirror in Stolas’ hands. In another portrait, Stolas wore his red royal cape and vest and his crown with a black top hat. Stella wore an elegant white dress, a red necklace and earrings, and a gold crown with a purple gem on her head topped with black feathers. Her thick eyelashes extended past her face. Stolas held the grimoire in his hands, and both wore annoyed scowls. In sharp contrast, Stolas and a young Octavia were smiling in the cosmos by a ringed planet in another portrait. Pink magic light zipped around them.

 Blitzo held up his hands. “Look I-I didn’t mean to interrupt your whatever party, I was just trying to…”

 “Don’t bother with excuses. I know why you were here,” Stolas replied.

 Blitzo’s face froze with fear. “You do?”

 This was it. He was going to get ratted out for breaking in and trying to steal the book.

 Stolas opened the door to his bedroom, holding it open for Blitzo. Blitzo wandered inside and Stolas shut the door behind him.

 “Yes,” Stolas smirked with a crooning pose, arm to his head. “You were here to ravish me, weren’t you?”

 Blitzo stared in disbelief. “Uhhhh…you?”

 Stolas looked at Blitzo with curiosity. “Why else would you be breaking into my room? You could’ve asked to visit, you know. It’s been a long time, but I have a very good memory.” He clapped his hands and a candelabra lit up.

 Blitzo then noticed the grimoire with the fancy blue and gold spine with a red gem in the center. It was on the highest shelf. His eyes widened.

 Blitzo grinned and decided to play along. “Oh yeah…yeah, well, uh you know, I figured, you know since you’re a prince and all, it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in.” He crouched closer and posed with his hand behind his head. His eyebrows bounced. “It certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff.” He briefly winced in pain.  

 “One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons,” Stolas smirked, wiggling his fingers. He lowered his voice in a seductive tone, “...if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.”  

 Blitzo grinned. “Oh, I wanted to crash the party and it’s always more fun, you know, to make an entrance.”

 Stolas glided over to a heart-shaped couch and Blitzo rushed over to sit by him. “I recall how you enjoy making an entrance.” Blitzo brushed off dirt on his shoulder.

 “I know we may have hung out in our teen years a bit and started to fall in love…well at least I did for sure since it’s not easy being alone,” Stolas mused. “But still, it’s been so long since I’ve last seen my favorite entertainer.” Stolas tilted his head. “Last time I remember seeing you, you were with teen Fizzarolli at the circus. Are you still a circus clown?”

 Blitzo scoffed. “Oh no, not anymore. No.” He grinned. “I kill people now.”

 Stolas chuckled nervously and pulled away slightly. “Oh, how afraid should I be?”

 Blitzo spotted the book again.

 “Well, I mean…” he then spoke in a seductive tone. “How afraid do you want to be?” He touched Stolas’ fingers with his own, leaning in closer with a sharp-toothed sexy grin.

 “Oh well, um well I uh,” Stolas stuttered as Blitzo crawled forward, backing him into a corner on the couch. “I was teasing. I don’t really…”

 “You seem pretty tense,” Blitzo mused. He gently pushed apart Stolas’ long legs. “How about I help you out there?”

 Blitzo placed his hands on Stolas’ knees.

 Stolas flushed and left the couch. Blitzo fell to the floor.  “Um you get, you know this is, um, getting a wee bit, is it hot?” He used his finger to pull on his furry spotted part at the top of his robe. Blitzo inched closer and closer. “I’m starting to feel it getting very hot.”

 Blitzo slammed him against the bookshelf, pinning him.

 “Oh! What are you doing?”

 Blitzo watched as the grimoire wobbled on the shelf before it fell and bounced off to the side.

 “I barely remember you name,” said Stolas. Blitzo glanced at the book off to the side.  

 Blitzo grinned…he had an idea.

 He used the ladder to zoom to the side, lowering Stolas in a ballroom dance dip.

 “It’s Blitz.”

 Blitzo used his pointed tail to grab hold of the book.

 Stolas began, “Didn’t it have an ‘o’ at the end like a clown name? I remember…oh!”

 Blitzo and Stolas tripped and fell off the ladder. Blitzo hit the floor and the book bounced off. Stolas hit the side of his bed with his back as he stumbled backwards. The book slid to a stop on the pinkish purple starry floor. Stolas lifted up his head and Blitzo pinned him onto the bed.  

 “Yeah well it’s silent now, okay?” Blitzo stated, his long snake-like tongue sticking out. So call me…Blitz.”

 Stolas stuttered and chuckled nervously as Blitzo pursued him further down the bed. The red sheets bore the Goetia family sigil.

 “Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me?” Stolas asked as Blitzo crawled toward him. Blitzo spotted the book off to the side.

 “What do you want me to do to you?”

 “I, uh well,” Stolas stuttered. Stolas looked to see a blank spot where his grimoire used to be. Blitzo caught onto Stolas’ suspicion and distracted him…with a large bite to his feathery neck!

 Stolas’ face turned bright pink, he flustered and moaned. Sweat poured down his face. “Oh my fuck! Oh wow!” He collapsed into the bed. “Oh you are so forward, Blitz!” Stolas could feel the heated hints of an erection.

 Stolas began to sit up. “Oh, what are we doing?”

 Blitzo, bent over the edge trying to get the book, saw Stolas and leaped onto him.

 “No! No! Stay down, dammit!”  Blitzo gripped Stolas’ arms.

 “Oh, so you like to command, you like being in charge, hm?”

 “Yeah, I sure do,” Blitzo replied. He grinned and reached out his hand for the book…

 Stolas suddenly bounced Blitzo in the air with his feathery butt and moved him sideways.

 “Oh, so you’re a kinky little imp, aren’t you? Do you like it when I talk dirty to you? I want you to f*** me with your **** **… Get it me through…”

 Blitzo turned Stolas’ head around and covered his mouth with his hand.  “No. Stop it.”

 “Yes, if that’s what Blitzy wants,” Stolas replied.

 Thinking fast, Blitzo grabbed the curtain from the bed poster and ripped it. He made strips and tied them around Stolas’ eyes.

 “Blitzy! Oh, my, yes!” Stolas moaned in pleasure, BDSM fantasies rummaging through his head. Blitzo tied Stolas’ hands and feet to the bed as well.

 “Oh, I’ve never had anyone want me this way,” Stolas mused.

 Blitzo grabbed the grimoire and started to leave. He looked around.

 Stolas smiled and sighed. “You have no idea how long I’ve craved this kind of passion, and how much it means that the one who wants me is…my first ever friend…”

 Blitzo froze. Like Stolas, he didn’t really have any friends. Could he actually become friends with someone so different in status? At the moment, he felt a sort of pity for the bird prince.

 Blitzo sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine, I can do this real fast.”

 The Morning After ‘Real Fast’…

 Blitzo snuck out of the room as Stolas slept, feathers shedding. “I got the book, I got the book, I got this fucking heavy book,” Blitzo whispered with a grin as he snuck toward the window. He placed the book on the ledge and climbed on top…

 The book started to lean forward and fall.

 “Oh shit!” Blitzo cried.

 There was a big splat as Blitzo crashed into the fancy teal cake that was present at the tea party with Stella and her white elite friends. They sat in pink heart chairs. Stolas rose out of bed and looked outside.

 “Sorry I fucked your husband!” Blitzo called to Stella before running for his life with the grimoire.

 Stella turned to Blitzo in a fury, brown tea splattered all over the royals’ faces and clothes.

 “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT STOLAS?!” Stella fumed. She smashed her teacup onto the cobblestone ground.

 Stolas grinned in victory. “That…was the sound… of a FUCKING DIVORCE!”

 In one swipe, he ripped the blue banner in half.

 The “Still Not Divorced!” banner now read “Divorced!” in gold.  

 Stolas held his arms in the air and laughed in triumph.

CHAPTER VI: PILOT (RECAP)

“So…” Blitzo beamed nervously at the I.M.P. office, “What can I do you for this time, Stolas?”

 The owl overlord replied, lounging on his couch in a royal red robe and a crown.

 “Remember that time when I told you that a political candidate was causing problems up on Earth for a few of my associates? That he tried to convince people that global warming existed?”

 “Yes?” Blitzo answered.

 “And that it does, but more people die when nothing’s done about it? Oh, how lonely I felt.”

 “Okay well, yeah that makes sense,” Blitzo said.

 “But now…” he hooted in laughter. “There are tons of new sinners coming down here every day! I just had a feast and a murder party several nights ago. I wondered why a horde of people arrived and it’s because of a disease called the coronavirus! My, it’s the best thing to ever happen since my wedding and my darling daughter Octavia’s graduation from flight school!”

 “Well…I’m very happy for you, sir,” Blitzo said. “I hope that…corn-ah virus does its thing.”

 Stolas sighed. “My wife Stella wasn’t happy with me, though. She said you fell onto a cake in the middle of a lunch with her and the royal officials during her tea party.”

 A tense silence.

 Blitzo examined his chest and arms. “I still have the talon scars and peck marks to prove it.”

 “And she also said that you stole one of my books, is that true?”

 “No! No way!” Blitzo lied with a nervous laugh. “That was another imp long ago. I…may not have sneaked out while you slept and shed feathers and said, ‘I got the book, I got the book, I got this fucking heavy book!’ And then I yelled, ‘Oh shit!’ and fell down from the balcony into the cake with the book. Then I told her ‘Sorry I fucked your husband!’”

 A tense silence.

 Blitzo added nervously, “Can I tell you how great it felt…sleeping with you?”

 “Indeed,” Stolas agreed with a contented sigh, forgetting about the imp’s troublemaking. “Your sharp horns and claws ruffling through my feathers, and my talons and beak exploring your multicolored flesh. You know what happens when I’m lonely, Blitzy?”

 “Oh, god fucking dammit…” Blitzo muttered to himself.

 Stolas’ eyes grew red. “When I’m lonely, I become hungry. And when I’m become hungry…I want to choke on that red dick of yours!  **** your ***** then lick all of your *****, before taking out your **** and **** with more teeth until you’re screaming ******** like a fucking baby!”

 Blitzo hung up the phone, the words on Stolas’ picture reading “creepy mouth: aka one night stand bird dick.” And smashed it with a rotary phone. He threw the pieces into a blender and mixed it up.

 “Eat this!” he told Loona who walked in and drank the red liquid.

 “And then y’know that bridge over the freeway?” he asked.

 “Yeah?”

 “Shit off it! It’s time for the meeting, let’s go.”

      CHAPTER VII: MURDER FAMILY c. 2020 (RECAP)

Ring! Ring! Ahh!

 A startled Blitzo scrambled to retrieve his yellow cellphone, which was ringing a yelling ringtone. He eventually caught the phone before pressing it to his ear. The phone had a GFY (Go Fuck Yourself) on it and a laughing devil emoji with imp horns.

 “This is a really bad time,” Blitzo whispered harshly.

 At Stolas’ palace, the owl prince was currently lounging in an ornate bathtub, several lit candles with blue flames positioned around the edges. Astrological symbols glowed white in a circle on the floor. The midnight blue curtains looked like the night sky, with starry designs on them. Floating constellations hovered around the room. He was the prince of astronomy as well as being horny.

 “When isn’t it a bad time, Blitzy?” he mused, stretching his long slender arm. He held a rotary phone to his ear, the speakers shaped like sunflowers.

 Blitzo sighed in frustration. “What is it?”

 Stolas’ four red eyes blinked. “I’ve been meaning to follow up on our last conversation regarding my grimoire?”

 Blitzo’s angry face appeared in a bubble.

 “What did you just call me?” Blitzo asked. Stolas popped the bubble with a finger. “My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job that I have allowed you to use to do yours?”

 Blitzo ducked as a bullet flew through the tree, he was behind. Martha’s shadowy figure appeared in the hole, her eyes and mouth glowing red.

 “I can hear ya, darling!” she called out.

 “Shit,” Blitzo muttered, scurrying off.

 “Any who,” Stolas continued. “I have been thinking. You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfil my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some sort of exchange?”

 He ran a finger along the edge of the tub. He then did a walking motion with his fingers as they glowed red.

 “Favors for favors? Doesn’t that sound…” He spoke seductively, “…enticing?”

 Blitzo skidded to a stop as another bullet hit a tree. He ducked behind another one and frantically whispered, “You gotta stop using your fancy-ass rich people talk, okay? I’m trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my hay!”

 Bam!

 Another bullet hit a spot on the tree.

 “Then let me keep it simple,” Stolas explained. “Once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of…”

 His eyes glowed red, his beak open in lust…

 “…passionate fornication.” He briefly slid lower in the tub with a blush before rising up to lean against the tub.

 “And…you get to keep it the rest of the time. Sound fair my little imp?”

 “Fine, whatever!” Blitzo replied.

 Stolas let out a happy sigh. “Oh Blitzy! I’m so excited! I cannot wait to fill your slimy cock inside of my mouth…”

 Blitzo cringed as Stolas went on about the sexual things he planned to do to him.

  CHAPTER VIII:  LOO-LOO LAND c. 2020 (RECAP)

 Octavia jolted awake suddenly, her pink eyes angular with constricted white pupils. Her hand rested by her face. Her eyes narrowed in anger; her fist clenched as piercing yelling from another room echoed off the walls.

 Her parents were having yet another fight.

 Octavia knew that her regal mother, Stella was pissed that Stolas had fucked the imp Blitzo behind her back. Octavia often worried that Stolas would go on some honeymoon with that creature and leave her behind with Stella. Stella wasn’t cruel but she was sterner than Stolas was. Octavia didn’t know which was worse, her father’s childish attitude laced with a perverted nature…or her mother’s cold critiques of Octavia’s behavior. Stella loved her but expected her to mold into the royal role she was given from birth. Stella was more concerned with tea parties, fashionable attire and her appearance than Octavia’s many thoughts.

 Currently, Octavia was just a typical emo/goth teenager who had to deal with a lot of shit going on.  

 Octavia’s room was currently different as well. More spacious, it had a couple of slanted windows between purple drawn curtains that let in some light. A solar system mobile hung from the ceiling in the center of the room. A mirror hung on the wall along with several banners with suns and moons on them. A long couch in the style of white feathers sat off to the side, complete with comfy cushions and pillows. There was a smaller purple telescope as well. Her bed still had the sparkling starry drapes and above that, were hanging purple drapes with a small moon on it and a large pink eye at the very top. Her bedspread was midnight blue with crescent moons on them and the chest by her bed was plainer than before.

 Octavia sat up in bed, with her feathers ruffled, quite literally as well as figuratively. With a grumpy look on her face, Octavia inserted earphones into her ears and held a blue phone in her hand, decorated with a yellow crescent moon. Octavia got dressed in her usual pink shirt with stars on it, black pants, shoes and a crown on her head.

 A playlist of songs appeared, the majority of them were by My Chemical Romance and some were by Lilith. An icon with flames and a sad face appeared on the screen and she pressed the play icon. Pop music played in her ears as a person sang: “My World is Burning Down Around Me.”

 “My world is burning down around me

My deep despair is what surrounds me, (yeah)

 The dark decay

I feel so sad

It’s black and gray

I hate you, dad

 You’ll never change

You’ll only lie

It’s all the same

 My world is burning down around me

My deep despair is what surrounds me, (yeah)

My world is burning down around me

My deep despair is what will drown me, (yeah)

 It’s not a phase

It’s not a phase

It’s not a phase

 It’s not a phase

It’s not a phase

It’s not a phase

 Mom, I swear, it’s not a phase

My world is burning down around me

My deep despair is what surrounds me, (yeah)

 My world is burning down around me

My deep despair is what will drown me, (yeah)”

 The screams grew with intensity as she got out of bed and walked down a hall lined with Venus Fly Trap plants of different colors. They were arranged in a pattern of brown, magenta and purple. One poor potted planet crashed to the floor in front of Octavia. She stepped over the mess as she continued listening.

 She could hear the vehement arguments form her parents as she walked into the spacious kitchen.

 There was her mother, Queen Stella in a white dress with the top part of her outfit a light pink. A crown was on her head and light gray feathers fanned from her head like long hair.

 “I can’t believe you slept with an imp, in our fucking bed!” she screeched.

 “It was unexpected!” Stolas replied. “I didn’t have time to go to a motel!”

 Stella seethed in disgust. “A motel?! Like a fucking plebian?!” (Roman word for commoner)

 Stella screamed in rage.

 “You want to fuck this one too?!”

 In a fury, Stella grabbed a small white dressed imp butler and violently tossed him at her husband.

 Stolas flinched, holding up his hands. “No! Of course not!”

 Stella pointed a condescending finger at him. “You are a god damn embarrassment! I’m not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, imp-sucking face!”

 Stella stormed out of the room, tossing and breaking more of Stolas’ beloved potted plants as she yelled.

 Stolas sighed in exasperation before turning to look at his sulking daughter who was sitting at a table with a box of cereal.

 “Good mooorning, Octavia!” he greeted. “Did you sleep well, my owlet?”

 “Was that a serious question?” she deadpanned as she drank coffee from a mug.

 “Mm-hmm…” Stolas began as he walked to an old-fashioned white refrigerator with the royal crest on it. He opened the door and took out a slab of zebra meat on a plate. In a corner shelf was a can of soda and a cartoon of chocolate milk. In a zip-lock bag were three white dead mice for a later snack. (They were owls after all!)

 “What’s that you’re listening to?” he asked, with a snap of his fingers.

 “This song is called “My World Is Burning Down Around Me.” It’s by Fuck You Dad. It’s a band.”

 “Ohh…how charming…” Stolas chuckled bemusedly, hurt by what he heard. He shut the door and fed the meat to a large white potted plant in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pet it. The satisfied plant closed its three eyes. A starry calendar hung on a nearby wall.

 “So…you two done screaming for the day?” Octavia asked with a sip of her coffee.

 “Um…” Stolas began as Stella let out another scream of anger along with a shattering of another object.

 Stolas walked over to Octavia, who had a box of Robo Fizz’s Greed Seed cereal next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You know what I haven’t done in a long, looong time? I haven’t taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don’t we go to Loo-Loo Land?” He mentioned to a portrait of Stolas, Stella and a happy child Octavia in a dress at an apple theme park.

 “I’m not five anymore,” Octavia muttered.

 “You always were so happy when I took you to Loo-Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us!”

 “I’d rather kill myself,” she deadpanned.

 “There we go!” Stolas beamed, bypassing her comment. “Anything but staying in this house.” He lifted a finger. “Now, I’ll arrange our security.”

 He picked up a white rotary phone carried on a platter by the battered imp servant.

 “Security for a theme park?”

 “We are rich, and we’re hot. People want our money and our bodies!”

 “Our money, maybe,” Octavia said under her breath. Stolas rotated the dial a few times.

 “Speak for yourself, Princess. Now, I’m calling the only man who can fuck me!”

 Octavia looked with disgust, cereal falling from her hand. “What?”

 “Who can protect me! Us,” Stolas said. “Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.” The imp collapsed.

 Octavia groaned and pulled her hat down over her eyes.

 At the I.M.P. office, there was a picture of Blitzo wrapped in a towel with the words “#1 Bitch” on it, with the word “BOSS” in red over the letters. A paper crown rested on one corner of the picture frame.

 Blitzo played with crude representations of Moxxie and Millie made of office supplies. “Millie” was made from a stick and clips while “Moxxie” was made from an eraser.

 “Oh, Blitz, you’re such a good boss!” Blitzo impersonated Millie. “Yeah, I really want you sir,” he impersonated Moxxie. “Me too!” he said as Millie. “Let’s three-way!” he said as himself before lowering the office puppets to his crotch. The screaming ringtone of his cellphone interrupted his pansexual fantasy.

 “What?!” Blitzo yelled angrily into it. He lounged in his chair; legs propped up as he drank iced coffee from a bloodstained mug. A poster with SpindleHorse on hind legs with “Wild and Free,” hung from the wall.

 “Why hello, my big-dicked Blitzy!” Stolas spoke lustfully.

 Both Blitzo and Octavia forcefully spit out their coffee. Blitzo slammed his “Boss Bitch” mug onto his desk.

 Blitzo spoke angrily, “What…”

 Octavia said, “The…

 Blitzo: “Fuck…”

 Octavia: “Dad?!

 “Language! Everyone!” Stolas shouted out loud before speaking into the phone again. “I have a special request...”

 “Aw G- Look,” Blitzo mentioned, “I just had a chemical peel, so you’ll have to find someone else’s face to plant that feathered ass!” He was in no mood for another intimate session.

 “It’s for my daughter.”

 A session with Stolas’ daughter? “Ah, well make sure she washes it.”

 “Oh! No! No, no, no!” Stolas cried taken aback. “I’m taking my daughter to Loo-Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us!”

 “We’re assassins, not bodyguards, ‘kay? Don’t invite us to shit unless someone’s gonna die.”

 “I’ll pay you.”

 “With what?”

 “Money.”

 “Done!” Blitzo yelled in confirmation, accidentally smashing his phone against the desk.

  0 0 0

 Meanwhile at Loo-Loo Land later on, Stolas pulled Octavia close with a gasp, letting go of his balloon.

 “Oh, look, Via! You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!”

 Stolas mentioned to a large circus tent with promotional signs of Robo Fizz on either side. A mother imp tried to drag her crying child toward the tent.

 “Oh no…” Octavia breathed, her white pupils constricting. A flashback of when she was a young girl came back to her. She was pushed against the stage by other cheering imp children. Robo Fizz was a robotic imp jester who posed on the stage with his arms spread out. An animatronic band was behind him. A neon sign above read “Fizzarolli and Friends,” with the “R” burnt out which made it look like “Fiends.” Robo Fizz sparked and cackled, wiggling his fingers and leering over a crying Octavia. Off to the side, a scowling Blitzo was dressed in clown makeup and attending a food cart.

 Back in the present, Octavia and Blitzo muttered at the same time: “I hate that fucking clown!”

 Meanwhile, Stolas happily waved as he was being held captive in the air by the gang of imps pointing weapons at him.

 “Oh Blitzy! I need my bodyguard, please!” Stolas smiled unconcerned before another imp jumped up and put a purple cloth sack over the owl’s head. Another imp grinned and held Stolas’ wallet. One imp jumped, trying to skewer him with a pitchfork. Blitzo turned around and fired his rifle, shooting the imp in the torso. Black blood splattered against the cloth sack over Stolas’ head. The imps dropped him and quickly scattered away. Blitzo carried Stolas into the tent and set him down on a wooden bench before leaving. Octavia sat next to him, rolled her eyes and removed the blood-soaked cloth from Stolas’ head. The owl blinked, wondering where he was.

 Two spotlights merged into one on the stage and Robo Fizz flapped open the curtains. He wore a jester outfit, and his horns were covered with stripped cloth and little bells hung from the ends. A happy face and sad face pin were by his shoulders along with a string of lights as a necklace. His pants were striped, and he wore gloves. His shirt had small white broken hearts near the bottom and his eyes glowed an eerie green.

 Six lit up arrow signs pointed to him and read: “Fizzarolli,” “Robot property of Mammon,” “Look at him go!” “Yes! Love 2 c it!” “Wow!” “He.”

 Robo Fizz held up a sign with “Lu” crossed out in red with “Loo-Loo, the better one,” on it. He also briefly held out a red and gold contract signed by Mammon: “This is a statement regarding the unfair accusations that my theme park “Loo-Loo Land” is trying to profit off my friend and ruler Lucifer’s park Lu World. This is false. These allegations are baseless and untrue. You are all just dicks. Fuck right off and stop saying that, alright? They are legally distinct. I checked. Signed Mammon.”

  “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Implings!” he said in his showman voice. “It’s me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Mammon’s factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo-Loo Land (spelled with Os to avoid lawsuits!) H-H-H-H-Hit it!”

 He snapped his fingers. Rows of spotlights lit up and he began to sing. The curtains opened and Robo Fizz’s Five Nights at Freddy’s band played. An open clown mouth served as the stage backdrop. Robo Fizz rapidly pointed at a boy imp and a girl imp and made his rounds toward Stolas and Octavia. He moved back to the stage just as Blitzo aimed his sniper at him in warning. The band played on a rising structure shaped like a cake, decorated with eyes and sharp spikes.

  “Loo-Loo Land, Loo-Loo Land!

Everybody sing along with the Loo-Loo band!

Every girl, every boy, every woman, every man

Loves Loo-Loo Land!”

 An animatronic bear and a smaller rabbit meshed together played a red banjo with a pentagram on it. A lopsided dinosaur played a guitar decorated with flames. A green frog with large human teeth played the Robo Fizz head drums and a brown dog played the triangle. The two speakers on either side were shaped like weapons and had skulls on them. “Fizzarolli and Friends” sign glowed at the top.

 “Loo-Loo Land! Loo-Loo Land!

Everything is beautiful in Loo-Loo Land!

Ugly children holdin’ hands

In Loo-Loo Land!”

 Robo Fizz briefly pulled a crowd of imps into a hug before spinning around and tossing them aside. They crashed back into the stands. He hugged the animatronic dinosaur which fizzled and slapped the bear and rabbit, which squirted black ink at a nearby imp.

 He poured gasoline onto a pile of “cease and desist” papers, causing them to go up in flames.

 “Everybody’s friendly, and nobody is mean

No copyright infringement’s ever seen!”

 In an imitation of Princess Charlie, Robo Fizz then posed on top of a piano. He stood on top, hand over his heart in the spotlight.

 “I have a dream…”

The backup singer added (“He has a dream…”)

“I’m here to tell…”

(“He’s here to tell…”)

“About a magical fantastic place called Loo-Loo Land!”

 He spun his body around and landed in a pose with arms and legs spread out. Octavia watched with disgust and boredom.

 “Loo-Loo Land, Loo-Loo Land!

Everybody sing along with the Loo-Loo band!

Every girl, every boy, every woman, every man

Loves Loo-Loo Land!”

 The show ended with a pyrotechnic display. Green flames ate up one of the curtains and Robo Fizz laughed manically as he did a final pose up front. Octavia leaned her head back and pounded her fist on the bench in annoyance. Stolas cheered and rapidly clapped.

 “Ohhohohoho! How delightful!” he hooted. “Haven’t had this much fun since the last Harvest Moon Festival…” Octavia hid her face in her hat again.

 Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a wave-shaped keris sword rose from beneath the seats, ready to stab him. The imp’s head was quickly blown apart by Blitzo at the back seats.

 “Oh! My, what aim you have, Blitzy!” Stolas praised.

 “Ugh! I can’t do this anymore!” Octavia shouted in fury.

 “Octavia!” Stolas reached out in concern as the owl teen stormed off. Stolas chased after her as Blitzo followed suit. Robo Fizz cackled as he spotted the imp dashing along.

 “Mu ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up there?” He emphasized the silent “O” in his name. “I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh?”

 He spun his head around in loops and cackled.

 “The ‘O’ is silent now!” Blitzo stopped and yelled.

 Robo Fizz mocked him some more and did wild dance-like poses. “A-awwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here!” He laughed.

 Blitzo tossed his sunglasses aside. “I make more money killin’ people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sell-out jester!”

 Robo Fizz glitched. “Oh ho! Someone’s salty! Real or not though, people love me! Does anybody love you…”

 His face turned dark, and his eyes glowed menacingly, grin stretched wide, “Blitzo?!”

 “No. But I’m really good with guns now!” Blitzo took out his sniper. “Dance, bitch!”

 Blitzo slammed a new magazine into his rifle, switched it to full-auto and opened up on Robo Fizz, who cartwheeled out of the way of the rounds. He rapidly spun like a wheel up the stairs to where Blitzo was. He coiled himself around Blitzo like a snake, before using his momentum to launch the imp out of the tent.

 “Ohhhh! Fuck meeeee!” Blitzo yelled.

 Outside, Wally Wayford, an imp with a southern accent was selling lit torches from a cart. There were two posters of Robo Fizz, the first was “Fizzarolli and the Handy Dandies.”

 The other showed Robo Fizz with handcuffs: “Robo Fizz Personal Companion. Gives and receives. Ribbed for your pleasure. Real tentacle action. Ten speed vibration. BDSM feature. Machine Washable.”

 “Torches, I say, I say!” Wally said in a southern accent. “Get your inconvenient torches here!”

 Blitzo landed on the cart with a yell, which scattered the green torches everywhere.

 “Oww! I say ow!” Wally screamed.

 The flames lit the big top of fire. The emerald flames rapidly spread to all corners of the park. The burning melting animatronics fled the tent as Robo Fizz cackled with demonic glee at the chaos.

 Back at the blaster game, Blitzo had crash landed through the roof and into the pervert carnie just in time, saving Millie.

 “Sir?!” asked Moxxie, surprised.

 “Oh hey guys!” a dazed Blitzo replied. “You should probably go and uh…make sure Stolas is okay! I got some…unfinished business to take care of.”

 Blitzo stood up and drew a brown flintlock pistol and fired. Robo Fizz swayed creepily toward Blitzo, a red eye showing on his burning grinning face, green flames behind him. His metal arms and body were revealed. The impact spun Robo Fizz’s head around…but the jester was unharmed by the shot.

 “Oh what a mouth!” Blitzo exclaimed as Robo Fizz caught the bullet in his mouth and spat it out. Blitzo grimaced as Robo Fizz rolled at him again. Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo jumped out of the way as the jester hit the booth, destroying it in a large explosion. Shrapnel and several white imp head prizes flew through the air on fire. The piece of a stuffed animal hit a young imp boy on the head, leaving him unconscious. The photographer then snapped the picture of the imp family.

 “Goddammit Nathan!” the fat father yelled to the fallen boy. “You ruined another bloody photo! Why were you even born?!”

 Stolas wandered around other booths: Aim and Fire Shoot Apple, Happy Ducking, and a bomb themed Knok game. One was called Eggs in the Basket, Poison Apples sold caramel apples decorated like slimy skulls and a dunking game was called Drown the Sinner.  

 Stolas then gasped. “Octavia?”

 “Just leave me alone!” she fired.

 Octavia ran into a fun house shaped like an elongated head of Lucifer. The face was white with the blushes on the cheeks and the eyes were green and snake-like. The steps were positioned onto a long tongue and the fun house entrance was shaped like Lucifer’s fanged mouth. A top hat and an apple reading “Fun House” was at the top. Stolas followed her inside as two grinning imps held rope and weapons close behind.

 The neon purple interior was filled with eyes, tubes, swinging pendulums, mirrors and disembodied hands. Stolas went further into the room and looked around. A sign reading “Smile” had an arrow pointed down at a tunnel. A shadow appeared behind Stolas as a random imp jumped onto his shoulders.

 “Um, I think I’m supposed to be body-guarded right now!” Stolas said, annoyed.

 The imp covered Stolas’ mouth with his shirt sleeve, but was shot in the head, falling to the ground. Moxxie and Millie appeared in the entryway, Millie had just shot the imp.

 “Ugh. That’s better,” Stolas said, brushing his sleeve. “Where is Blitzy? He’s my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones.” Even his apple hat got an annoyed expression on it.

 The imps came over to him, Millie hugging the thing stuffed animal. “He’s…uh busy.”

 “Being a fool,” said Moxxie.

 “What kind of fool?” asked Stolas.

 “The “everything is now on fire,” kind,” Moxxie replied.

 Stolas left the imps, dodging two swinging pendulums, and headed down a tunnel into an adjoining room filled with eyes on the wall. He then spotted Octavia sitting in one of four apple-themed rail cars, crying.

 “Octavia…” Stolas breathed. He took off his apple hat and it fell to the floor, the goofy face now a sad face, reflecting Stolas’ emotional state.

 Stolas scooted next to Octavia, leaving a bit of space between them. “I take it you are…not having fun.”

 “I didn’t even want to come here!” Octavia protested; arms folded.

 “I’m sorry, sweetie. I…I thought you loved it here.”

 Octavia glared at her father and sniffed. “When I was a kid and my parents didn’t hate each other, and my dad didn’t flirt with some…weird red dickhead the entire time.”

 Both owls looked downcast.

 “I’m sorry, Via,” Stolas said. “I’m sorry for…everything happening right now. I know it’s a lot but I…uh…I should have listened.”

 Octavia sobbed. “I just want to go home, but home doesn’t even feel like home anymore. You ruined it.” More tears fell from Octavia’s eyes as she shook her head and wiped more away with her arm.

 “You need to understand, you mother and I…” He stroked the back of his head, nervously. “I just…I felt…she’s always been…I haven’t been…” He stuttered, “…we weren’t in…” He buried his head in his hands, “I’m sorry, I-I-I don’t have the words.”

 “Are you going to run off with him? And leave me behind? Go away where…I can’t find you?”

 “What? No!” Stolas pulled her close. “No, no, never. I’d never do that. Never.”

 Both of them embraced in a tight hug for several quiet moments.

 “I think it’s time to leave this place,” Stolas said. Octavia smiled a bit through her tears. Despite his mistakes, her father loved her dearly. It wasn’t too hard to forgive him. Stolas lifted her up into his arms and continued, “You were right. You are too old for it, anyway.” He walked through an apple shaped opening.

 Stolas carried Octavia out of the Fun House as an imp grinned manically in the space above the drop-ceiling. The imp dropped down and flicked open a switchblade behind him. Stolas immediately turned around, his red eyes glowing brightly. The frightened imp was turned to stone on the spot, then was knocked over by a pendulum.

 As dusk feel outside, the park was reduced to pandemonium. Millie tried to shoot Robo Fizz who wildly rolled around. The red dragon picked up Robo Fizz, tossed him into the air before catching him and swallowing him whole. On the dragon’s back, Moxxie gaped in terror.

 Stolas and Octavia left the park gates.

 “So, what would you like to do now?” Stolas asked.

 Octavia smiled. “Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there.”

 “Hmm,” Stolas said reluctantly, but then said “Okay.”

 Octavia let out a small laugh. “Thanks, dad. You’re okay sometimes.”

 Stolas smiled down at her; his face bright against the starry sky above. It was nice to get a compliment from her. “Thank you, Via. Thank you…”

  CHAPTER IX: HARVEST MOON FESTIVAL (RECAP)

Sunlight cast a cheerful reddish light against the polished walls of the exterior of Stolas’ palace. The double doors displayed half a sun and a crescent moon on them, while thin see-through drapes curved over the balcony. Stolas’ sigil glowed on the wall below the balcony. An array of coffin-shaped stained glass windows added to the decorative design.

 Inside Stolas’ bedroom, Stolas let out a deep sigh of passion. Sunlight shone through the stained glass windows. The tied up curtains, walls and hanging banners all bore small crowns within the family crest designs. Blitzo lit up a cigarette and proceeded to smoke with his hands folded behind his head against the pillows. Blitzo glanced over as Stolas leaned his head toward him.

 Stolas smiled. “I’m sorry for having to move our little rendezvous early. I have an engagement this month on the full moon.”

   Stolas briefly moved his head upside down playfully. His gray feathery chest was visible, with leather straps crossing his chest and shoulders. Both his black hands were tied over his head with rope to the headboard. A red ball gag was around his neck and a harness. Blitzo’s chest was a natural red and white and a small black sleeveless jacket was the only thing he wore.

 Blitzo reached up and pressed his cigarette tip against the rope, freeing Stolas’ hands. Stolas took a long drag from Blitzo’s cigarette.

 “When this happens, it’s not really something I fuss about,” Blitzo mentioned. “But do you really need the book for this farm bullshit? I have like fifteen new clients waiting for heads to roll.”  Blitzo tapped a finger to his palm several times for emphasis.

 “As shocking as it may seem, Blitzy, my grimoiiiire is actually incredibly important,” said Stolas. “And it isn’t supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty imps like yourself.”

 Stolas put out the cigarette on Blitzo’s head and pinched the imp’s cheeks. An annoyed Blitzo grunted and shoved his hand away.

 “The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion!” Stolas explained. “It’s been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath.” Stolas flexed his thin dark arms while Blitzo pulled a stray white feather out of his mouth in disgust. “It’s celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals,” Stolas added. Stolas rested his head on his hand close to Blitzo.

 “Wrath, huh?” Blitzo asked. “My employees are from there. I’ve never really been there. I’ve heard it’s full of inbred chucklefucks.”

 Stolas sat up in excitement. “Oh! Why don’t you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all…”

 With a playful shake of his shoulders, Stolas pulled the cover over his head. His grinning face then appeared near Blitzo’s crotch.

 “…special access.” Stolas chuckled, holding onto Blitzo’s legs.

 “Look, I told you, we’re not bodyguards, okay?” Blitzo explained. “That was a one-time thing we did badly.” The Loo-Loo Land event wasn’t something he’d forget anytime soon.

 “I’m simply offering a work-free day of fun!” Stolas mentioned. He stood up with the covers on his head and did a playful owl head tilt. “I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year.” He smiled, eyes briefly closed.

 Blitzo sighed. “Well if you promise this isn’t some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus, it’s not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway.”

 Stolas leaned toward Blitzo and spoke in a baby talk voice. “Aww, I’m sowwy your clients will have to wait.”

 Blitzo chuckled and waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, fuck my clients!”

 0 0 0

 Wally Wackford stood on the wooden stage, holding a gray microphone decorated with an eye in the center and small horns on the top. He wore his usual white shirt, vest, white pants and dark boots. He twirled his black cane and tipped his black top hat. Large speakers with skulls on the inside stood off to either side. Nested under a stripped tent in the back center of the stage sat Stolas on a stool. He wore his usual crown, black top hat and royal red robes. The grimoire lay on his lap. A white banner held up by high spears read “Harvest Moon Festival” in bold blood red letters. Stolas’ sigil and a pentagram decorated the banner background.

 Wally Wackford spoke dramatically through the microphone.

 “Welcome, I say-a welcome all to Wrath-a Ring’s annual Harvest-a Moon-a a Festival! To kick things up, we have the great prince Stolas-a here to user in this here Pain Games!”

 Stolas took the microphone from him and chuckled in slight embarrassment.

“How kind, Wackford.”

 Stolas then addressed the audience. “Greetings tiny Wrath Ring imps! I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell!”

 A crowd of imps glared at him and several boos were heard. Many of these Wrath imps were impoverished farmers who lived on scraps, meat or good crops if they were lucky. The food they worked so hard to produce was consumed by royalty and those in the other Rings. But the reward for their work was being underfed, underpaid and underappreciated instead. The unbalanced cycle had lasted for generations.

 Striker too, stared at Stolas with a burning hatred. Here was this owl prince who paraded around in his garb while he had to deal with war and a daily battle for survival.

 Stolas obliviously continued. “I’m happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest imps to show their skill and dominance.” He did a little wave with his fingers. “Good luck to you all!” He noticed Blitzo in the crowd beside Moxxie and Striker and spoke lower. “Especially that sexy little one there! Yoo-hoo! Blitzy!”

 “Ugh. Fuck me,” Blitzo scowled.

 A gun went off and the games began.

  The first event was the race. Moxxie was instantly trampled by the other racers.

 The second event was the high jump. Striker climbed over the high wooden ramp structure with ease and raced after Blitzo who jumped past him. Moxxie struggled to keep his balanced as he reached the top. He slipped down, trying to use his claws to hold on. He fell with a splash in a small puddle…and was promptly chewed on by a monstrous black and white shark with several red eyes.

 The third event was an event with rope. Striker grinned as he held a tied up Blitzo. Blitzo’s arms, legs and horns were all tied up. Moxxie gulped as a stronger grinning imp tied him up with ease.

 The fourth event was tug of war. The crowd cheered as the two teams pulled hard. Striker, Blitzo and Moxxie were on a team. Moxxie stumbled and fell into nearby water, where the shark attacked him again.

 The fifth event was mud wrestling. Blitzo and Striker grinned as they wrestled each other, Striker getting the upper hand as he held Blitzo down, arms locked. Moxxie was instantly crushed in a football hurdle by a group of imps. As they got off of him, Moxxie sat up. And the shark leaped out of the water and over the fence.

 “Mother fucker!” Moxxie screamed as the shark crushed him. (Moxxie somehow survived all this.)

 Wally Wackford was back on stage.

 “I say, I say for the first year ever, we have a tie for winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!”

 Stolas took the microphone from him again.

 “The winners are…Striker, aaaand my darling Blitzy!” Stolas did a one-legged pose as the crowd cheered.

 “Just say my name right!” Blitzo hollered. He muttered “Fuckin’ dick!” as he and Striker walked onto the stage.

 0 0 0

Back on stage, after tapping the microphone, Stolas magically flipped through his grimoire, which hovered in front of him.

 “My dear commoners of the Ring of Wrath! I Stolas of the Ars Goetia, hereby curse this year’s harvest with the glow of the true Harvest Moon!”

 The sunset sky swirled above him until a portal appeared with a light purple sparkly rim. The portal revealed a beautiful pink-orange colored full moon in a clear starry night sky. The imp audience oohed at the splendid sight. One of them yelled out that he knew that Stolas would do the portal trick.

   CHAPTER X: TRUTH SEEKERS (RECAP)

Moxxie banged on the door. “Quick! The book!” he called to Loona. Loona growled and squinted.

 “Shit,” she muttered. “I can’t…I can’t read the spell in this light!” She slammed her knuckle on the page and squinted her canine eyes. “I can’t see dick!”

 For the first time, Loona and the others had fearful looks on their faces.

 “Well shit! Looks like we milked this weapon dick dry and now we’re out of badassery.” Blitzo groaned.

 “Ha! You demons aren’t going anywhere now!” Agent Two laughed as she and Agent One aimed their guns. The crew growled at them.

 “Ah!”

 Suddenly, a multi-eyed shadow growled and appeared high on the wall. It appeared to morph from Blitzo’s imp shadow. The agents lowered their weapons and glanced around. A screen fuzzed to static near them, showing a grainy image of something plowing through the metal door. The screen shook then clicked off. A pair of glowing red eyes appeared in the screen reflection.

 One by one, the screens snapped off from the pipes and wires, crashing to the floor. A chilling voice whispered…

 “Who dares threaten my impish little plaything?”

 “Who said that?!” Agent One demanded, aiming his gun at the ceiling.

   Faint bird prints appeared on the linoleum tile floor, near I.M.P. Agent One aimed his weapon but a screen crashed into his head, knocking him down. He glanced over at Agent Two, who stood in a very strange manner. She was moving her head rapidly from side to side, her arms slack at her sides.

 “Agent Two?” he quavered in fear.

 Her face was contorted in pain, her mouth open in an angular shape. Her hands cupped her cheeks and her eyes were wide with red irises. Behind her, the bodies of other agents rose, their eyes sunken black, faces blank. Agent One extended a shaking hand toward her…

 She whirled around and Agent One screamed as he flinched back. Her eyes took up much of her face and she bore a wide sinister grin with sharp white teeth. Veins popped out on her skin and eyes. She cracked her neck a few times.

 “What’s the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?”

 Her voice was intermingled with a darker voice and appeared to be distorted. As Agent Two let out a demonic laugh, Agent One noticed the mindless agent bodies, eyes black and empty, drawing Stolas’ sigil in their red blood around her feet. They were creating it at breath-taking speed. Before long, Agent Two fell to her knees and a gush of black energy rose from her mouth. Agent Two, now free from the possession, coughed, black liquid around her mouth. Her eyes were wide in fear as she gasped at the horrific sight before her. Feathers fell around her.

 Blitzo and the others watched as a huge shadowy bird slowly rose over them, dark feathers dripping red. Its body was interlaced with what appeared to be red liquid energy that merged with its body like lava. Two demonic red eyes stared back at them, while its mouth displayed a gaping beak with five sharp claw-like appendages on either side of it.

 The two agents cowered together in fear on their knees as the towering owl demon owl beast roared at them with a terrible screech. They covered their eyes as the monster showed four glowing red eyes on its face and a gaping open mouth with little sharp teeth on the sides. Its feathery body was silhouetted in the crimson light, as was its talon feet.

 With a swoop, the beast diminished in size, twirling in a spiral until revealing the angry four eyed regal figure of Stolas. He glared down at the cowering agents before turning on his heels. Stolas pushed a button and all the doors unlocked, the red light fading.

 Stolas walked over to the group, his eyes glowing under the flickering florescent light. His face was in shadow before a light revealed it.

 “Stolas?!” gasped Blitzo in disbelief. “Wha-hold on, how did you know we needed help?”

 Stolas smiled and lowered to Blitzo’s level. “I have my ways, darling,” he mused. He cupped Blitzo’s cheeks gently. “Are you alright?”

 “Ugh, I’m fine, Stolas,” Blitzo muttered.

 Stolas pat his head. “Mm. Good.”

 Then he roughly grabbed Blitzo’s cheek, eyes blaring in anger. “How the fuck did you get caught by humans?!” He then stepped back and addressed the crew. “Are you little creatures not being careful up here?” He booped Blitzo in the nose. “You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We don’t want that!” He pinched Blitzo’s cheek hard and he glared.

 “They caught us off guard, your highness!” Moxxie exclaimed.

 “Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas, it’s not gonna happen again, okay?” Blitzo remarked.

 “Luckily for you, most don’t believe the word of the demon-obsessed lunatics,” Stolas mentioned. He bent down toward the shaking agents in the corner. “They are seen as kooks!”

 Stolas stood up and giggled. “Kooks! Such a silly word.”

 Stolas clapped his hands. “Now! Let us all return!” He spread his hands as if opening a curtain and blue light appeared around a portal. The I.M.P. office lay before them.

 “Yes please!” Moxxie said. “I’d like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.”

 Moxxie then glanced back at the cowardly agents and a look of concern came to his face.

 “Wait...don’t you guys think we should kill off those agents first? Or at least wipe the camera feed?"

 “Nah,” said Blitzo. “We won that fight.”

 “Seriously! Why are they still there?! We’ll get in trouble once humans know about our existence…”

 “Come on, Mox!” Millie called, dragging the protesting imp through the portal by his hand. Stolas, indeed figured that the two agents were not worth his time…but Blitzo certainly was.

 Loona carried the grimoire through. Stolas scooped up Blitzo in his arms before he could walk further.

 “Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?” Stolas asked.

 “Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?” Blitzo replied.

 Stolas beamed, eyes briefly closed in bliss. “Very much so.”

 “Alright,” said Blitzo with a chuckle, caressing Stolas’ head. “But you’re keeping quiet or I’m using those bear traps!”

 He ran a slow finger down Stolas’ feathery neck and the owl prince shivered and sighed in delight. His face was beat red as he said in lust, “Oh, please do.” Blitzo and Stolas then merged their mouths together, their long tongues intersecting and dancing in a passionate French-kiss.

 The two agents stood and stared in disbelief as the portal closed and the blue light vanished, a blue compass symbol blinking away.

 “So what now?” asked Agent Two.

 “What now?!” Agent One beamed with his hands out. “We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!”

 With a swoop of his hand, he cleared a space in front of him. Among the ruined bloodstained pipes, he typed rapidly on a keyboard. Four camera screens lit up after static appeared. The first one showed Blitzo and Moxxie fighting the agents, the second one displayed Millie fighting with her ax. The third showed Loona fighting a guy with a curved sword and the fourth showed in red, Stolas appearing in his demon form, the agents cowering.

 Under the flickering rectangular ceiling light, the two agents smiled and put on their sunglasses at the same time.

 Agent One paused the screens, showing the faces of a smiling Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie with an ax, Loona with teeth barred and a regal Stolas in battle. The screens faded as “no signal” appeared on them in green.  

 “Nobody in corporate is ignoring this,” said Agent One before letting out a dark evil laugh.

 CHAPTER XI: OZZIE’S c. 2021 (RECAP)

Stolas poured milk into his bowl of cereal at the palace dining room. He used a purple spoon to eat. His cereal had blue, red and yellow stars and moons in it. The purple and yellow bowl had the family crest on it.

 Stolas slumped in a high-backed purple velvet chair, his glowing red eyes slanted and fatigued. He heaved out a sad sigh, sitting all by himself at the long empty table. A bronze space mobile quietly creaked from the ceiling while the hanging potted plant stems extended outwards, giving the room an unkempt look.

 Stolas, too, appeared unkempt and dreary. Every day, his relationship with Stella grew worse and worse. Without a word, Stella had led Octavia outside and into their family car. Octavia was spending the weekend with her mother instead, a temporary truce. But one piercing glare from his wife’s pink angry eyes and Stolas knew divorce was imminent.

 How cold and empty his castle felt without his family there. But it was even darker without his lovely imp companion. How could Stolas reconcile with his wife and daughter after being so tempted by his sexual desires for him? As fun as being intimate with Blitzo was, a part of him longed to step out of his sensual comfort zone. If he could gather up the courage to really get to know Blitzo…who he was like on the inside…hell forbid, actually feel genuine romance as well…

 But everything was so hopeless; he was all alone after all. Would he ever see his loved ones happy again?

 Scooping up his cereal bowl, Stolas slumped onto the couch, his red housecoat drooping on his arms. He clicked on the television; the Hell-G Network activated. On the screen, “Hella-novela” appeared in elegant writing. As the show started to play, Stolas turned up the volume several times, briefly escaping from the dullness of reality. He slumped lower in his seat.

 Against a pink and white bubbly background, an imp woman with long black hair with a white streak, black horns, and a black dress appeared on screen. She wore a gold necklace, a bracelet and matching hoop earrings. Her mascara trailed down her face like black tears.

 “Why, why won’t you love me, Alejandro?” she sobbed.

 “That’s a mood, Gabriella,” Stolas sympathized sadly, eating a spoonful of his cereal.

 Just then, the rotary phone on a side table rang. The phone speakers were shaped like sunflowers. The ringing of the phone sounded like owl hoots; “Woo-woo-woo-woo-woooo!” Smoke rose from the phone and appearing in lavender letters was a bold message: “Blitzy Is Calling.”

 Stolas’ heart leapt; his eyes went wide, and he briefly chocked. He frantically reached for his phone, knocking over his bowl of cereal in the process. He lifted himself up from the couch and hastily grabbed the phone.

 “Helloo? Hello Blitzy!”

 “Stolas, hey you-uh, shit,” Blitzo stuttered. “You busy tonight?”

 Stolas glanced at his spilled cereal on the floor. “Umm, why do you ask?”

 “I was wondering if you…wanna come with me to a club tonight?”

 Stolas’ eyes lit up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy?” He blushed, white hearts appearing in his eyes.

 Blitzo paused. “I-yes, I suppose that is what’s happening. How fast can you get down to Lust?”

 Stolas eagerly leapt from the couch and raced to his room.

 “I can be ready in 20!”

 He searched through his closet, pushing aside a hanging red and white shirt from Loo-Loo Land.

 “Alright, fantastic. See you soon,” said Blitzo.

 “I’ll see yooou, Blitzy!” Stolas crowed as he hung up. He put on a fancy outfit and applied eyeliner in front of a large vanity mirror bordered by purple flower lights. He happily put on blush and admired himself again. With a snap of his fingers, a portal appeared to Lust.

 0 0 0

 Blitzo paced back and forth on the street next to the “Horny Hotel,” “Position,” “Chucklefucks,” and “Fun House.”

 “Come on, come on, come on,” the impatient imp tapped his foot.

 “Oh Blitzy!” called a familiar voice. Blitzo turned around and spotted a glowing bluish portal. Stolas strolled out of it. “I’m here!”

 Stolas wore a fancy dark high-collared suit with white buttons and a white frilly ruffle. He had long sleeves with white trim by his hands. His magnificent robe displayed a moving red night sky decorated with stars. Blitzo thought he was looking at outer space through Stolas’ clothing. Stolas’ head of feathers was sleeked back.

 A spotlight randomly shone on Blitzo, illuminating his dark spiked leather jacket and reddish shirt. “Wow. That’s a bit overkill, don’t ya think?” he deadpanned.

 Stolas chuckled nervously and blushed as the portal closed behind him. “W-well I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all.”

 Stolas offered Blitzo his hand and he reluctantly took it. They walked hand in hand toward Ozzie’s.

 “Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh,” Blitzo replied, unsure.

 They walked up to Jesse the bouncer. He spotted Blitzo and glared.

 “You again? Beat it, shithead…”

 “Ahem,” Stolas cleared his throat. “Do we have a problem?”

 Jesse looked taken aback at the sight of the towering prince. He bowed apologetically. “Oh uh, shit…my apologies, your highness. Uh, please go right in.”

 Stolas and Blitzo walked up the stairs and into the building. Blitzo briefly peered from behind the curtain with a triumphant grin and flipped off the angry bouncer before going inside.

 Blitzo sneaked around with darting eyes as he entered. Stolas, however, grinned and stood amazed at the grandeur of the dinner theater. He gasped.

 “Oh my!”

 Blue and pink lighting filled the elegant space. Drapes and string lights hung from the ceiling and blue lotus lights added to the attractive contrasting atmosphere. The wallpaper consisted of Asmodeus’ crest with bull and ram imagery. Blue flames burned behind glass in an impressive display. A mural of an imp with a white dress with a heart on it was displayed on the ceiling. The light fixtures were shaped like large hearts, decorated with dotted lights.  

 Under a chandelier with blue inward facing drapes and blue flames were hovering cages with glowing teal bars. Inside the cages were dragon-like demons, contained for sexual purposes. A red female imp with dragon wings flew around with a platter of food.

 “Oh no; no, but yes!” Stolas contradicted himself as he glanced around in childlike wonder.

 Near the penis-shaped runway stage was an array of round tables with white tablecloths and two heart-shaped chairs at each one. A short squat imp waiter showed them to their seats. One of the seats had a stack of books on it. The waiter pushed Stolas’ chair in and left. Stolas happily sighed and sat down in his seat as Blitzo sat on the stack of books. A blue candle was in a holder at the center of the table.

 “Oh, Blitz, how romantic is this?! What made you choose such a place to bring me?”

 “Oh, it just sounded like…” He pulled out a pair of binoculars, “I just thought we’d have a blast here, you know?”

 Blitzo peered through his binoculars. At one table, he saw the white-dressed imp butler surrounded by a harem of demons at one table. There was a fat female imp, a slender female imp with curved horns and a blue flame candle on her head, a snake-like jester, a black-haired imp wearing upside down cross earrings and a fish net shirt and finally a large goat with an upside down cross and a red flame candle on his head. The butler held a glass of orange liquid, a look of satisfaction on his face.

 At another table, Josh and Ace, two male members of Verosika’s crew, sat together at a table, leaning close to each other.

 At a third table, a muscular imp appeared to be thrusting and receiving oral from another imp under the table, a long tail pointing out.

 Two winged succubi kissing at another table…a lone imp raising a glass…

 …Moxxie and Millie staring at each other lovingly at their table.

 “Gotcha!” Blitzo grinned.

 Stolas sat confused. “Oh, Blitz. What are you looking at?”

 Blitzo stayed in place. “I’m looking at nothing; how about that?”

 Just then, a small female waitress imp named Crane came up to the table. She wore a feathered headband with a small teal heart on it.

 “Can I get you two off…I mean, start you two off with some drinks?”

 “Yes!” said Stolas, looking at the menu. “Um, perhaps some wine to share; do you prefer red wine or white wine, Blitz? Or perhaps some champagne?”

 “Yeah, whatever,” Blitzo shrugged, still not turning around.

 Stolas chuckled nervously. “Well, perhaps all three. Why not?”

 The waitress scribbled down their order and walked away. Stolas tapped a finger on the table. “So, Blitz, how was your day?”

 Blitzo finally looked at Stolas. “Huh? Oh, good I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos.” He glanced back through the binoculars.

 “That sounds fun!” Stolas added. “How did you kill them?” He asked a question like it was a typical conversation starter for a date.

 Blitzo turned around.

 “How? I-I-I mean, there was a lot of them, so I- bullets.”

 Stolas laughed nervously again, wondering why Blitzo was acting so standoffish. Maybe Blitzo was nervous at this first date and was trying to act disinterested in him. Or was it an act?

 Stolas continued. “Right, right…so what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?”

 “Uhhhhhh….”

 Blitzo couldn’t tell him about him wanting to spy on Moxxie and Millie. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings or say he wasn’t interested. Mostly he wanted to avoid this awkward moment and go back to looking at his employees. Seeing the people he knew were so happy together…it secretly warmed his heart. But it also made him envious. They could please and love each other as they wanted, with no worry of betrayal. Why was he the one stuck with Stolas who wanted to use him for his own pleasures?

 This owl prince who somehow accepted Blitzo for who he was, despite his lower status?

 The one who seemed to care for him underneath the lustful exterior?

   Stolas stood up in concern for Blitzo during the lust song. Fizzarolli winked at Asmodeus.

 “Who’s that at the table? Is your date a demon prince?” Asmodeus asked in song.

 Fizzarolli looked at Stolas through a pair of binoculars next to him. The red spotlight shone on Stolas and a frightened look appeared on his face as he looked around.

 “Stolas, is that you?” Asmodeus asked.

 “Are you sleepin’ with an imp?!” a surprised Wally Wackford bellowed, pointing.

 “Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall!” Asmodeus added in song as Fizzarolli leered at Blitzo on the ground.

 Asmodeus sat Stolas in a heart-shaped chair. Appearing on either side of Stolas from blue flames were illusions of Stella and Octavia, eye glowing, faces stern.

 “You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all,” Asmodeus mused.

 The illusions disappeared in front of him, only leaving a humiliated Blitzo that Fizzarolli placed onto the chair.

 “I hope you didn’t give it up, so you and him could get it on!”

 Blitzo and Stolas looked away from each other in shame. Stolas hid his face behind a menu.

 Asmodeus was tickled pink at Stolas’ mistake. “You sold your life for a thrust!

Now that’s the spirit of lu-u-u-ust!”

 Before long, Stolas looked with concern at Blitzo, who was angry and closed off. Stolas tentatively reached a black hand to comfort him, but Blitzo pulled back with a clenched hand.

 “You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let’s just…let’s just leave.”

 A disheartened Stolas responded, “Oh. Right. Of course.”

 Both of them got up from their chairs.

 “I’ll take you home in my van,” Blitzo offered, looking straight ahead.

 “Ok then.”

 Blitzo crossed his arms and Stolas clutched his head, both of them feeling vulnerable, exposed and worn out.

 Blitzo drove the IMP van through a portal that Stolas created, stopping by a water fountain at the front of Stolas’ castle. Stolas winced as he bumped his head getting out of the van. Stolas tossed some apple-shaped straw holders back in the van before closing the door. He peered through the open window.

 “Thank you for…inviting me out tonight. Despite everything that’s happened, I…I enjoyed spending time with you.”

 “Yeah,” an irritated Blitzo replied, not looking at him.

 “You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia’s with her mother this weekend so we could…”

 “I’m not fucking you tonight, okay?” Blitzo spat. “I’m really just…” He sighed. “I’m really not in the mood, Stolas.”

 “We could talk, or…watch a movie, or…maybe cuddle?” Stolas suggested, trying to soften the mood.

 Blitzo glared at Stolas, anger and pain in his eyes. “Stolas, don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay?” His voice broke in sadness, “You make that really clear all the time.” He added, eyes downcast, face turned away, “But I just, I-I can’t do it tonight, okay?”

 Stolas and Blitzo stared at each other with sad looks on their faces. “I’m sorry,” said Blitzo.  

 “Okay,” Stolas sighed, with a sorrowful bow. He stood up and stepped back. “Goodnight, Blitz.”

 “Night,” said Blitzo.

 Blitzo drove away from the castle and out of sight. Stolas was left all by himself again. Shedding a tear, he sat alone on the steps, head in his hands. Everything was his fault, it seemed. Just when he thought that he and Blitzo had grown closer…Blitzo had pushed him away.

 Just like Stella and Octavia.

 All because of his sexual urges and mistakes.

 More tears fell from his eyes. Would Blitzo break up with him like Stella? Would he be truly alone?

 Stolas looked up forlornly at the starry crimson sky…and for the first time, he felt like the cosmos and fate were watching over him instead of the other way around.

CHAPTER XII: NOW (c. 2022) …

  Stolas groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He found himself staring at a pink stained glass ceiling dome decorated with crescent moons. Hanging from the dome was a golden mobile shaped like a sun. The rest of the ceiling looked like the night sky.

The world shifted into a clearer focus. Stolas sat up and wiped away the green remains of the absinthe he had gotten hungover on. He was still wearing the starry red cape and fancy dark suit he had worn with Blitzo at Asmodeus’ club. Several striped Venus Fly Trap plants looked at Stolas in curiosity. He put his fingers to his aching head and wandered toward his vanity in his room. Stolas sighed with melancholy, black mascara dripping from his red eyes. With a finger, he knocked over his bottle of happy pills, took three, and popped them into his mouth.

Stolas then scrolled through his cellphone, looking at pictures of Blitzo. One pictured showed a grumpy looking Blitzo in Stolas’ room. Another showed Blitzo’s drawing of a brown horse with white wings. Another showed Blitzo in a tired, mad position in his horse hoodie near a starry curtain. The last picture showed Stolas smiling and posing with his collection of monstrous plants behind him. Blitzo glanced off to the side, looking bored and unhappy. Stolas then realized his mistakes.

“Blitzo…wasn’t happy being with me,” Stolas thought sadly. “I didn’t consider his feelings. What have I done?”

Blitzo didn’t want to fuck him, nor be with him. He had only wanted the grimoire to expand his business.

Yet Stolas wondered if there was a part of Blitzo that secretly longed for a friend and partner. Both of them felt lonely and lost, surrounded by a variety of people. Some were friendly, while others shunned them away and downright hated them. Stolas thought that his dates with Blitzo was the beginning of not only freedom from his daily struggles…but also a spark of true love and freedom.

And now it was gone.

He walked into the night air and paced back and forth near the double glass doors, which glowed pink and magenta in the light.

0 0 0

Octavia finished her cereal at the kitchen table, while listening to punk music from her earbuds. She rose to put her stuff away, then headed back toward her room. She was glad that her taxidermy books didn’t judge her, at least.

“Octavia!” barked a voice.

Octavia took out her earbuds and saw her mother’s face.

“The fuck do you want, now?”

“I just want to talk.”

“Shove it,” Octavia scoffed. “I’m not in the mood for your fucking monologues.”

“But this is important, Octavia. It’s not about etiquette or rules this time. It’s about your father.”

Octavia seethed and made her way out toward the balcony.

“He’s been under a lot of stress, lately…”

“Gee I wonder why,” Octavia deadpanned. “With you two constantly bickering, I’m not surprised.”

Stella put a hand on Octavia’s shoulder. “I know I haven’t really been…the most attentive mother, but you know I’m only trying to do what’s best for you in this hellhole.”

“Neither of you know what’s best for me.”

“But you still love your parents, don’t you?”

“Yes…”

“And I love you, too, Via. Your father however…not so much.”

Octavia then turned to look at her. “What do you mean?”

“This may be hard to hear, but he really is a pathetic excuse of a father. We were forced to marry each other and every day I wish things were better.”

“But why is he so sullen and nervous around you?” Octavia asked suspiciously. “If he’s really pathetic, why do you constantly scream at him and argue every chance you get?”

Octavia’s pink eyes narrowed, and Stella raised one brow.

“Don’t think I’m not aware of certain things,” Octavia said, arms folded. “I know you are a big part of the problem. Perhaps if you’d just fucking leave me and dad alone for once…”

Stella put her hands on her hips. “And let him be a bad influence on you and fuck around with more common imps? I know I may be very stern, but you have to trust me that I only want what’s best for you and our family.” She smirked. “Us ladies have to stick together, after all.”

She stroked Octavia’s shoulder and Octavia stepped back. “Still…that’s no excuse for your behavior. How do I know you’re just using me?”

“The real question is…” Stella’s eyes glowed with menace. “How do you know your father’s not doing the same?”

Octavia paused. “What?”

Stella scoffed. “Clueless as ever, I see.”

“If you’re fucking abusing him, tell me!”

“I may get angry, but I’d never resort to such uncouth behavior. But I’ve seen Stolas talk to himself at night. I’ve seen right through his innocent behaviors and now know he has more nefarious purposes…”

Stella widened her eyes in a tearful look. “The truth is, dear…Stolas doesn’t really care for you.”

“Bullshit,” Octavia scoffed.

“It’s true though. The only reason you were born is because you were raised to be a precautionary heir to the Goetia line. Stolas never really wanted any kids. The only things he cares about are money and screwing imps. Any kindness he has shown you is just a façade. He’s the one who’s abusing me in private.”

“That can’t be true…” Octavia breathed.

“And he’s only been so withdrawn and flinchy around me because he doesn’t want to admit the truth. Your dad not only hates you, but he’s also burdened by your very existence!”

Tears began to well in Octavia’s eyes. “What…why tell me now?”

“Stolas has been wanting a divorce for a while now. He wants…” Stella sniffed dramatically, “…to leave the palace and leave you behind.”

Octavia’s eyes widened. “My dad…doesn’t really care for me? But…”

“But what? What is there left to do? Stolas can’t wait for you to turn eighteen, because once you do, you won’t be his problem anymore!”

Octavia gasped as more tears rolled down. “No, no, no, no. I can’t fucking believe it.”

A pause of dread.

“I’ll leave you alone to think about it,” Stella said, pulling her into a hug. “Stolas is inevitably going to leave. But I promise, I will make my amends and keep looking after you. I’ve only wanted you to live as normal of a life one can live in a royal family. I hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

“Okay, mom,” Octavia cried. “Just…leave me alone.”

They separated and Octavia raced out of sight, head in her hands.

After Octavia vanished, Stella smirked. “How pathetic.”

0 0 0

Stolas sang his lament out loud, tears welling in his eyes as he wandered into his library.

“Out in a cage You show your age Your sweetness has run foul

Without a change, you’re lost, exhausted By your time on stage

Then you walked into my room And light sparks in the dark Life was suddenly thrilling and new

What’s between you and I Just a comfortable lie I’m the fool who believes when you look in my eyes”

 Stolas grabbed another fancy book titled “Asmodeus King of Lust”, flipped through the pages and stopped on a page on Asmodean crystals. The text was written in runes.

“Asmodean Crystals: Bestowed to mainly succubi and incubi by the king of sin and lust – these crystals allow access to the mortal realm.” “My hellborn in possession of a registered crystal may be granted portal summons.” “It is common practice to have the crystal paired with another object of convenience.” “Jewelry is the most popular option.” “This writing in runes shit was fun at first but I know I am definitely not doing this right. I should be spending more time with my friends and family.”

Stolas dropped the open book on his bed. He imagined a teal Asmodean crystal soaring though the air like a shooting star, lighting up Blitzo’s silhouette beside him. His mascara ran like black tears down his face as he sang.

“Prince, all alone, upon your throne Your power is so frail You raise your voice You have no choice Inside your gilded jail”

Stolas’ voice cracked as he reached his hand toward the red starry sky in vain. Two bushes of flowers sat in crown-shaped holders.

“The fuck are you doing?!” called Stella’s voice from behind him.

“Reflecting,” Stolas replied, still staring straight ahead.

“Well, stop!” Stella demanded as she walked toward him. “It’s annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time!”

“Why are you still here?” Stolas demanded, turning around. “You leave with Via on weekends but then you stay around the house despite everything.”

“I like tormenting you,” Stella smirked, holding out a finger. “I want to keep reminding you of what you did.”

“I know what I did!” Stolas yelled, leaning his face in. “I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn’t do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now!”

Stella looked taken aback. “What do you mean, out?”

Rage flowed through Stolas, no longer contained inside. “I mean out! Out of this palace, out of my life! We are getting the divorce!”

Stella’s eyes twitched in fury. “How dare you?!”

She stomped forward, pointing at him and Stolas shrank backwards, hands in front of him.

Stella spat, “What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think? Andrealphus…”

Stella raised her hand to slap him…only for Stolas to grip her arm, blocking her attack. For so many years, he had endured her horrible abuse. But anger and newfound courage had now enabled Stolas to stand up for himself.

“I don’t care what your arrogant brother thinks!” Stolas fired back. “And the only thing the Goetia family wanted from our marriage is already seventeen, so it’s over! I’m DONE!”

Stella briefly stared wide eyed in surprise at Stolas’ sudden defiance. Then she glared and pulled her hand away from his grip.

“Fine,” Stella scoffed. “I have no desire to stay in the place of a traitorous embarrassment. You have fallen from what little grace you had, and I know…”

She smirked evilly… “…you’ll pay for it.”

Stella stomped off, leaving Stolas alone.

Stolas sighed, hand briefly over his face as he looked forlornly at the sky, his cape making a dark fan-shape near the ground. Another shooting star zoomed through the sky.

“I wish things didn’t have to end like this,” he thought.

From behind a wall, a figure gasped softly, shaking. Tears rolled down Octavia’s face. She had overheard the whole argument between her parents.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” she thought. “They are getting a divorce. Now I’ll be left all alone.”

She wiped away her tears and raced back inside. She walked into Stolas’ library and stared at Stolas' grimoire, the one that allowed the imps to travel to Earth. “If only there was something that could help me…some sort of spell in the grimoire or one of these books…” she thought. Looking down at the open book on the bed, she spotted the page on Asmodean crystals.

“Access to the Living World?” she thought. Octavia pondered over her future responsibilities as part of the Goetia family and maintaining the cosmos. She had her suspicions that Stella and Andrealphus had sinister plans to aid in her father’s further fall. But if Stella was right and her father didn’t really love her…who could she really trust?

Octavia was still a lonely, antisocial, young teen. She could do magic easily, but she felt far from ready when it came to taking on her father’s role. If she couldn’t fully trust her mother or her father or that imp pal of Stolas’…she’d have to go on alone.

Octavia could fulfill her predestined role… or alternatively, she could perhaps start a new life somewhere else. An independent life away from her parents…or at least somewhere where she could take time to reflect. A place to figure out her true divine purpose, aside from being an heir.

She examined the grimoire again.

A look of pain and determination was set in Octavia’s pink eyes.

She knew what she had to do.

[takonei]

I rate the DR 10th anniversary outfits because

Sooo someone posted scans of the thing and I am here to rate those disasters. Here we fucking go.

---

Makoto: 7/10 Simple and effective, but nothing special.

Taka: 7.5/10 A bit more classy than Makoto but still simple with not much originality.

Byakuya: 6/10 Out of all the characters who could have worn a jacket incorrectly, they choose McRich for the job. I hate it. But outfit is fine I guess.

Mondo: 10/10 So ridiculous and in character. Love it.

Leon: 5/10 What are you, scottish? The shoes ruin everything for me they’re so ugly smh. I know I can’t draw shoes either but what are those

Hifumi: 0/10 Look Hifumi, I know your character gets too much hate but I gotta say: Ew.

Hiro: 6.5/10 I like the outfit. But my guy, that color is piss. If you had just changed the color I would have added 2 points.

Sayaka: 7/10 Like Makoto, it’s nice but that’s it.

Kyoko: 9/10 Damn, she look classy as hell. I don’t like that much whatever is going on with the sleeves but the rest looks stunning.

Hina: 10/10 My girl looks SPLENDID in yellow. And the flowers are great too, I just love her. Plus that smile <3

Toko: 8/10 It’s nice, I like the bun(s?) and the dress looks good. The flower in her hair is a nice touch and the colors fit her.

Sakura: 9/10 My girl looks great in buns (+ flower). I like the kimono a lot but the colors used irks me just a tiny bit. Still love her, though.

Celeste: 8.5/10 I wish that veil was a bit more transparent so I could see her dress in it’s entirety. Either way, she looks stunning and that hairpiece is just in character.

Junko: 9/10 The dress looks fantastic, the mask is a nice touch but I feel like she would have been perfect with loose hair.

Chihiro: 7/10 Say what you want about the onceler, I like that outfit. Very cute but the socks(?) give me the same vibe as Miu’s bondage gear and mmmm don’t like that

-

Hajime: 7.5/10 See Makoto above but a little 0.5+ for that flower.

Nagito: 8.5/10 I’m a sucker for boys with tied hair, as you may already know. White looks nice on him, and the outfit is nice.

Twogami: 4/10 You just took Hifumi’s ugly outfit and put a fur coat on it. It doesn’t look that bad since it’s at least less flashy, but I just don’t vibe.

Gundham: 6/10 The outfit is okay I guess but are you telling me that this guy wouldn’t choose something 100 times more extra? He looks so plain. Give him the crazy outfit he deserves.

Kazuichi: 6/10 You fucking disaster. You just took your jumpsuit and made it fancy. This is so damn ridiculous, but I can still see some appeal in it but like, you’re a disaster man. Also nice glasses bro

Teruteru: 10/10 I love it. The vibe it has,,, I love this. The colors, the simpleness yet effectiveness, it’s just perfect.

Nekomaru: 6.5/10 It’s fine, I guess. It does fit him, but I don’t see that much stuff that could be considered out of the ordinary in a good way.

Fuyuhiko: 7.5/10 Palette color is good but like. The outfit is peak bisexual. I don’t even hc him as bisexual.

Akane: 10/10 THAT’S MY GIRL. She is more of a queen than Sonia will ever be, I’m sorry. She is rocking with that cape. And the outfit is great.

Chiaki: 7/10 It’s cute and effective, it fits her. I don’t like her hair that much for some reason, but overall she looks neat.

Sonia: 6/10 What do you mean this isn’t a miss universe contest?  I can’t vibe, I’m sorry. It looks nice, but it feels more like a popular girl’s dress than who Sonia really is.

Hiyoko: 7.5/10 It looks better than her in-game outfit, at least. The colors suit her, I like it.

Mahiru: 7/10 I have mixed feelings. I love the dress, but the headband is a huge no from me. Little plus for the flower, though.

Mikan: 1/10 Who thought this was a good outfit? Genuinely curious.

Ibuki: 9/10 This is so damn extra, I love it. So many ribbons for nothing, it almost gives a Touhou vibe. But the outfit itself? Horrendous color palette, but it fits because it’s Ibuki.

Peko: 9/10 Opposite of Ibuki on the same spectrum. It’s calm, classy anyway, and fits Peko. I don’t have anything to say, it’s just really good. Nice flower btw

-

Rantaro: 7/10 Outfit is fancy af, but you would have a better grade if it wasn’t for that damn fedora.

Kokichi: 7/10 Who the fuck wears purple socks with white shoes? Also as I said before, he looks like the type of person who gets drunk before coming to the party. Outfit’s good, but once you get to the details it’s a disaster.

Keebo: 4/10 I do not vibe. I don’t know what I’m looking at. Is this another armor? Is this an outfit on the armor? I don’t know. Scarf looks a bit out of place. Also Keebo, wearing your jacket like Hiro doesn’t suit you I’m sorry.

Gonta: 4/10 I do. do not vibe. Too many squares? Too green? idk what bothers me the most. Also he gave me a heart attack the first time I saw him bc I thought he had cut his hair.

Shuichi: 6.5/10 After those two disasters I am glad to see someone at least decent. The color palette doesn’t suit him that much, but I can respect it.

Kiyo: 10/10 The guy is so classy it hurts. I don’t even know if that’s a skirt or pants but either way I love it. This outfit just suits him 100%.

Ryoma: 3/10 What the fuck is this. What. What is this. This hat reaches Touhou levels of ridiculousness. It’s horrible. The outfit is kinda better than whatever some of them have going on but holy shit the hat ruins everything for me.

Kaito: 9/10 The coat is fantastic. Black with tiny moons and stars + a space interior? That’s beyond perfect. Outfit is nice, although I would have liked a different color for the vest and the pants.

Kaede: 8/10 It’s simple and effective. I really like the flowers but still, I can’t get used to Kaede’s haircut. At this this one has cute flowers and ribbons.

Miu: 8.5/10 Now you would think that with what Mikan got, Miu would get something super revealing, but this is surprisingly not the case. It’s very original and it suits her a lot, especially the huge sleeves.

Tsumugi: 7/10 The dress is nice, but that’s pretty much it. I like how she tied her hair, it does look nice. Also those shoes are weird tbh

Tenko: 9/10 I was wrong. This is, in fact, a mini-short. She looks so classy and I love the new placement of the hairpin. She looks a lot like a talentswap Magician!Tenko and I love it. So classy. Very good.

Kirumi: 10/10 That’s peak fancy. I just. I love. her. She’s so fucking great like the elegance, the classiness, everything is perfect. I believe in Kirumi supremacy.

Maki: 3/10 I’m sorry I hate this dress. It had good potentiel but the color palette irks me. No. I can’t. Hair looks nice tho.

Himiko: 8/10 It’s just so damn cute. Idk if the space theme is a reference to her beta design but either way, I love it.

Angie: 8/10 A different kind of fancy. I like the large pants, it does fit her vibe. Also that veil is cool af.

[c-c-cherry]

What's the most embarrassing thing each of the Bucci gang has done/has had happen to them?

Ok I took WAY too long on this but I loved this question so much and it was so fun coming up with these. Special thanks to my girl @jjadegreen for helping me!!

**This isn’t NSFW but I’d say its teen and up just because of some of the stuff talked about hehe**

______________________

Mista

-Pre-canon Mista was a bit sick one night so Bruno made him stay home while they all went on this one mission

-So naturally he’s like “HELL YEAH HOME ALONE”

-Bruno forgets his wallet and had to come back a little while later to get it and walks in on him wearing the following:

One of Abbacchio’s signature goth dress robe thing

Like 12 of Bruno’s barrettes all sticking to the top of his head

Fugo’s tie

Narancia’s bandana

All while BLASTING K-Pop at full volume in the living room. And our man is INTO IT. This isn’t just some radio coincidence shit, he was SCREAMING the lyrics. He owns the CDs.

-Bucciarati LOSES IT. Mista has never been so mortified in his life and Bruno has never laughed so hard in his life.

-He promises not to tell the rest of the gang but tells him it’s officially blackmail material

-They never speak of it again but at Christmas Mista opens Bruno’s gift and it's a brand new K-pop CD and everyone thinks its just a gag gift but like

-He definitely listens to it later alone in his room

Bucciarati

Bruno Bucciarati does not get drunk for two main reasons:

He blacks out every time

He’s an absolute lightweight

-The last time Bruno got absolutely piss drunk, he was with Abbacchio and it wasn’t even funny. It was just surreal because Bucciarati never lets himself go to such an extent

-For whatever reason Bruno is like “hey I never drink we should go to the bar or something” after a successful mission

-Even though the legal age of drinking is technically 16 in Italy they leave “the kids” home to watch mean girls or some shit

-Mista tags along too because he’s worried Bruno will get drunk and spill about the unfortunate “K-pop incident”

-My man Bruno drank like two beers and was immediately GONE like he got up and got lost in the bar after way too many drinks and ran into a drag Queen with Abbacchio’s hair

-Said drag queen became Bruno Bucciarati’s new drinking buddy

-He stumbles over to the karaoke contest and gets onstage and grabs the shitty bar mic and screams “THIS GOES OUT TO LEONE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWUA TWO YEARS HONEY~” and Mista is just like 👁👄👁

-Because uhhh they have literally been together for two years but everyone in the gang just thinks its a weird on/off thing because they never talk about it

-He sings dancing queen because its by ABBA and both Leone and Mista are fucking screaming with laughter and Abbacchio is filming the entire goddamn thing

-He buys the entire bar drinks they all love him so much

-Afterwards Leone tries to get them home so he leaves them outside while he takes a piss and when he walks back out THEY ARE GONE.

-Mista thought it would be a perfect time for them to get tattoos because his fucking capo is drunk off his ass and there is no better time

-Mista gets these two giant smoking guns on his back and his ass is in SO MUCH PAIN afterward that he leaves Bruno alone while he’s picking out his tattoo to get ice cream

-When he comes back Bruno has a tattoo ON HIS LEFT FOOT THAT SAYS “Never don’t give up.” The tattoo people tried to correct him but he insisted

-Abba finds them and is just like “jesus god” and takes them all to a hotel because there is no way in hell he’s taking them back home like this

-The next morning Bruno remembers absolutely NOTHING and as the gang admires Mista’s giant tattoo they ask if Bruno got one too and he’s like “god no I’m not that irresponsible”

-As soon as they’re alone Abba’s like “you got one on the bottom of your foot” and you can just see the moment Bucciarati’s soul leaves his body

Fugo

-Ok so if y’all didn’t know Fugo literally canonically wears a thong

-This isn’t sexualizing him (also I am indeed a minor don’t harass me) it's just a fact of life. You do you Fugo.

-So he sneaks out of the house once in a while and goes shopping for them cause our man’s gotta live, you know?

-He pops in the underwear store one day and you wanna know who he fucking passes by in the lingerie section?

-Bruno fucking Bucciarati.

-Which isn’t exactly a surprise considering he’s wearing visible lingerie in his tiddy window outfit but like

-That’s like running into your dad at femboy hooters

-Much to his dismay, the man spots him immediately and there’s just this...awkward silence as Fugo is holding this shopping basket of underwear and Bruno is holding the raunchiest piece of clothing he’s ever seen in his life

-They never talk about it again. Fugo finds a different store.

Abbacchio

-The most mortifying moment Abbacchio can live to remember is the first time he told Bucciarati that he loved him

-Pre-canon, our man is NOT having a vibing time

-He gets absolutely wasted with while Bruno’s at his apartment

-He’s the most miserable drunk, so he’s just fucking sobbing and Bucci is sitting there trying to console him and Abbacchio just looks up at him with tears streaking down his face and says “I’m in love with you” and the look on Bruno’s face just makes him feel even more miserable

-The entire night he keeps blubbering about how much he loves him and how much he means to him and how beautiful he is and the entire time Bruno is doing that thing where he tries to cover his face with his hand because our man is mega FLUSTERED up in here

-When he wakes up he remembers EVERYTHING and he wished he didn’t because then maybe he would be able to say that he didn’t mean it

-Bruno is surprisingly just like “Did you really mean it?” and he can’t lie so he just tells the truth and he’s just nonchalantly like “me too”

-Bruno thinks it’ll be a nice wedding story and Abbacchio no longer wants to live on this planet

Narancia

-Mista and Narancia are vibing in the living room one night and Nara tells Mista to grab his gameboy from upstairs

-He says its under his pillow (or else Bruno will take it away every night hehe)

-But you wanna know what else is under Narancia’s pillow? His Diary. No, it’s not a journal or just a blank book, Mista finds a book titled DIARY.

-And the shit in there is priceless.

“Bucciarati is sooo cool. I tried cutting my hair like his, but it didn’t really work. I think I gotta wear this hat for the next couple weeks. Shit. Fuck. If someone takes it off, I’m so fucked.”

“I clogged up the toilet yesterday and was too scared to tell Abba, so I just flushed it again but then the water wouldn’t stop flooding everywhere so I used Aerosmith to explode the toilet and told Abba that it was a stand attack. He believed me. If ANYONE ever finds out, I’m dead.”

“HOLY SHIT. I swallowed a tide pod yesterday and freaked out so I made Giorno turn it into a grape in my stomach with his stand. I almost DIED. But I didn’t so I’m over it. If Giorno ever tells anyone, I’ll kill him.”

-Narancia realizes about ten minutes after Mista left that HOLY SHIT HIS DIARY

-he finds Mista three quarters way through it and gives him $50 not to tell anyone about it.

-The shame never leaves, though

Trish

-Jade gave me a cute headcanon that Trish’s mom was still only teaching her how to properly put on makeup before she died (it's not like there was youtube or anything to teach her either) so our girl Trish only knows the basics

-She puts on lip gloss and blush and mascara and stuff but she’s never even TOUCHED eyeliner and rarely puts on eyeshadow. She doesn’t even wear concealer most of the time (she honestly doesn’t even need to, her skin is baby soft smooth)

-So long story short she kind of misses her mom and remembers how her mom was going to teach her a smokey eye before she died and is determined to teach it to herself now

-So she pulls a little heist and snatches some of Abbacchio’s makeup while they’re all out doing stuff

-She was not prepared for how heavy this shit was. She was used to the lighter, more natural stuff but Abba’s makeup is EXTREME.

-All of his stuff is waterproof so it doesn’t wash off while he’s crying at 3am and it’s just this—dark, heavy stuff.

-She actually hasn’t used a thick, real tube of lipstick before, only those little gloss tubes with the stick because she has smaller lips so when she crouches over with a small makeup mirror in fear of anyone somehow walking in on her and smears Abbacchio’s thick, dark purple lipstick on her lips, she knew she was absolutely fucked. She has no idea how to do this shit, especially not with dark, heavy goth makeup

-The smokey eye does not work. It’s just smeared eyeshadow EVERYWHERE, it looks like she has two giant, awful, black eyes and her first attempt at eyeliner was just—unspeakably horrible

-She has no idea where to start so she just puts on way too much of absolutely everything and immediately regrets it the moment she looks at herself in the bathroom mirror

-Abba comes home early and immediately realizes that some of his makeup is gone and he knows it has to be Trish

-He walks upstairs to confront her but just hears loud, ugly sobbing coming from her room and bursts in only to find her desperately trying to wipe off layers of caked-on water-proof makeup and absolutely failing

-The two of them spend all night taking it off all while Trish is still crying teary apologies to him

-To add in some wholesome Dadbacchio, he teaches her how to properly put everything on the next day <3

Giorno

-Some people forget that as a 15 year old, Giorno sometimes has absolutely no impulse control

-So when Polnareff tells him that he’s the spitting image of his evil, murderous, vampire dad he’s immediately like “haha well I’m gonna go dye my hair now”

-Everyone had something to do that day/night so Giorno waltzes over to the nearest drug store and grabs one of those at-home dying kits (he got dark green cause he thought it would look cool with his new outfit)

-He gets home and has absolutely no idea what he’s doing so he just thinks it’ll work out somehow

-Soooo yeah he does NOT put it in properly at all, he just kind of takes the shit and slathers it all over his hair and doesn’t do his roots and doesn’t put it up and leaves it dripping down his back and stuff and his stupid ass FALLS ASLEEP with the hair dye in

-He wakes up and the sheets are this really awful light green colour but he doesn’t pay any mind to it

-He looks in the mirror and from the front it actually looks good and he gets all excited and decides to wash it out

-When he gets out of the shower it’s this awful disgusting light light ugly green and he almost cries. Almost.

-It looks like someone dunked him in that Nickelodeon slime and he looks at the package and it says the dye will stay in for at least 3 weeks and there aRE TEARY EYES

-He spends the next hour in the shower trying to wash it out. It does not wash out.

-Utterly defeated with his hair matted and donuts practically falling apart, he stumbles over to his room and tries to wash the sheets covered in slime-coloured hair dye which *surprise!!!* doesn’t wash out either!

-He must dispose of the evidence, but of COURSE they’re out of garbage bags so he shoves all the dye kit stuff and the sheets into a mafia body bag and chucks it by the garbage can outside without a single thought

-Which he SHOULD have had a single thought about it, because when they get home and Narancia spots the body bag he’s like “holy shit guys I think Giorno killed someone while we were out”

-So they all panically pop into the house and cautiously try to find Giorno. Fugo finally finds him pacing around his room in the dark and when he flicks on the lights HO-LY SHIT.

-Fugo obviously bursts out into laughter and Bruno books it up the stairs and also starts cackling and Narancia is like “OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SOMEONE LOOKING LIKE THAT?!” and Giorno has to explain to them that the body bag is filled with stained bedsheets (much to his embarrassment)

-Abbacchio takes so many pictures and Giorno is having a nervous breakdown because he cannot live with his hair looking like this

-Bruno makes Abba fix it the next morning and he loves every second of Giorno’s mortification

-The pictures Abbacchio took of that night are framed next to the pictures of Bruno’s wasted karaoke night in his room

______________________

Thank you for the ask, anon!! I’m absolutely exhausted now haha so I’ll scroll through the rest of the asks when I wake up!!

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

60. “have you always been this beautiful?” + 68. “You owe me a kiss.” for sean/reader plssss?

Glitter in The Air (Sean X Reader)

A/N: This is just pure Sean Falco bubble gum cotton candy fluff just for Joz ☺️☺️😍

You held your finger above the mouse and debated which road to take:

Add him. It's only been four years, but he's bound to remember you.

Forget it. It’s been four years, how would he ever remember you?!

Without a second thought you clicked add friend on the Facebook name “SeanFalco92.” You typed out a little note just in case.

Hey, Sean.

I'm sorry about what happened at the University. You're a bit infamous. Not every day the quiet Irishman gives it to the campus police. That fire hydrant was ugly anyways.

Y/N, The Dark Room Princess

Then you switched off the internet to prevent yourself from nervously checking every ten minutes to see a response. So you poured yourself a cup of coffee and put your headphones in. It was gonna be an all-nighter on your grad school thesis.

Your computer made a loud ping noise that startled you from sleep you didn't realize you had fallen into. You raised your head and looked at the time “11am.” Thank God, still a few hours until you had to turn in your thesis. Then you were free to never worry about university again, until the loans rolled in. You groaned.

Still you adjusted yourself and your glasses to read the message that had come up alongside the friend request acceptance.

Hey! Yeah it's totally been awhile. How have you been? I felt the wrath of my parents when they bailed me out. Due for a bit of community payback for a few months. Sorry “Service.” Next time I won't get nicked.

Not quite sure about the dark room reference, but was thinking you should meet me at the carnival on Friday. I know I shouldn't be on campus, but I had tickets before everything went down. Care to be my reason for still showing my face after all that humiliation?

Sean

You shook your head and laughed. He definitely didn't remember you, and you weren't exactly sure what he was up to. Who turns down an opportunity to spend the night with Sean Falco?

You took your time replying. Showering. Eating lunch. Printing your thesis and assembling it. Not wanting to appear eager in your reply. He pinged again.

You there? It looked like you were online. Sorry, didn't mean to appear so needy or forward. I just thought it’d be nice to be reacquainted.

You cocked an eyebrow, cheeks flushed a bit and finally returned a response.

Yeah. I would like that. I live in the Madison apartments. Get to Union station (I'm guessing you lost your license?) and we’ll take the Gold Line back to campus. See you at 7.

Sean's comeback was immediate.

It's a date!

Your face grew even hotter. Fuck, it's a date.

-----

You couldn't help but be nervous as you paced around the front steps of your apartment complex. You felt confident in the cute outfit you rushed out and bought impulsively. Or how you bit the bullet and got your hair done too after you delivered your thesis. You claimed it was in celebration of the rest of your life and nothing to do with the tall, lanky Irishman now headed your way.

“Sean!” a bit startled as you turned around in his direction.

Curly hair a bit wild, his jeans looking industrial but you knew they weren't bought that way. The purple tee-shirt he wore somehow made his leafy green eyes positively stunning. His hand was outstretched with a flower held towards you.

“T’ought I might go a bit old-fashioned t’night,” you took the --- from him. “Maybe a bit o’ congratulations for finishing your t’esis paper.”

Glad your hair covered your ears because you knew the tips were bright red. You never remembered his lilt being that strong or noticeable. Maybe for some strange reason it was his nerves too?

“A Peony? Sean, these are my favorites! How’d you know?” you smelled it briefly before you tucked it away behind your ear. Pleasantly surprised. “Thank you.”

“I may have creeped around your photos a bit, hope ye don't mind?” Sean raised his hands and crinkled one of his eyes shut.

“This is my first flower from anyone, so I'll take some light stalking in the meantime. We should hurry though, the train leaves in ten minutes.”

The two of you side by side. You sat turned to face him, back towards the window of the car. Sean faced forward and stole sideways glances while you talked.

“So what does a young lady with a Masters in Art History do fer livin?”

“I want to restore old paintings at the Met in New York, but I'll probably be stuck here in Portland till I'm thirty. What about you, think you can bypass a degree and still be a photojournalist? Maybe and Irish Ansel Adams?”

Sean laughed, “How did you know any of that?” He looked directly at you with a gleam in his eyes.

“You really don't remember me do you?”

You took a chance and slid your hand into his to prevent him from picking at a loose thread in his shirt. Sean easily enclosed it without hesitation.

“Mostly!” Cheek hidden in his smile. “I just thought something about ye clicked in my brain. Can't figure out why, but was hopin’ going out with ye would jog my mind. Is t’at ok?”

There was no time to answer. Soon enough you were back on campus. You talked Sean into some french fries and corn dogs before tugging at his hand excitedly.

“Ok, the Ferris Wheel! Let's do that first? We should be able to see downtown, and it'll be dusk by the time we get on.”

Sean hesitated as his eyes glanced up towards the top. A flash of nerves behind his eyes, but he gave up and shrugged. Obediently following you in line while he ate, a bit sullen.

Surely the guy who just fought a fire hydrant and a cop wouldn't be scared of heights, you thought. Then you flashed back to that day Freshman year and Sean's panicked voice in the dark. His ragged breath and palms that sweat through your tee shirt as he held onto your shoulders.

You shoved a cheese fry in your mouth as the line staggered forward slow and steady. The conversation had died quite suddenly, but you knew you had to take the chance. Cheesy romantic comedy as this all was, who doesn't want to be with a hot guy alone stuck on a ride?

“Uh y/n?” The giggle was back in Sean’s voice now as you broke from your reverie. “You've got some..” His thumb swiped at the corner of your mouth before he lifted it to his own. “Cheese.”

“Thank.. you?” The tension was silent and awkward.

Then, as the two of you simply stared at each other, Sean let out a sound somewhere between a strangled laugh and a snort. It was infectious, and you instantly joined in. That type of laughter you aren't sure how people achieve, but it leaves you breathless and annoying to everyone in your sight.

“I don't know.. why..I licked.. my thumb,” he wheezed around the most childlike giggle. “It was like a weird compulsion.” The way he said the word came out like “way-rd,” and instigated more laughter from deep inside you.

It seemed to ease Sean’s apprehension as the two of you began to board the ride, though. A calm coming over him as you both quieted down. He white-knuckled the bar as it clicked into place over your laps. Eyes wide as it lurched into motion.

You brushed your fingers tentatively over his clenched fist. Sean had a glazed look in his eyes as you slowed and stopped multiple times. You inches towards the top. He really was frightened.

“I've just gotta get over this. I'm confronting my fear is all.” He sounded so serious with a hint of pride, you stifle a chuckle with a bite of a lip.

Sean peered slightly over the edge of the car and looked downwards. Then it halted suddenly and he grabbed your hand and covered it with his massive one. You squirmed around to hold it properly as he squeezed his eyes shut. The car swung back and forth a bit on the precarious side, even for you. One last time, and it would start spinning in its giant lackadaisical circle.

Forward. Pitch to a stop even harder than the last few. This time Sean buried his face in your shoulder, and you relished this surprising role-reversal. But then he looked up at you in the most serious manner.

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

At the same exact time you said:

“First claustrophobia now heights”

You both sat up straight and gaped.

Again simultaneously.

“How d’ye know I'm claustrophobic?!”

“Did you just call me pretty?”

For the moment, Sean was no longer afraid. Your sentiment about his fear distracted him long enough that he loosened up immensely. Long fingers scratched at his mess of curls while deep in thought. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, heart beating wildly in your ears.

Sean tugged at his chin with a forefinger and thumb. Obviously deep in thought as he gazed off into the sky. It was like a lightbulb finally popped on over his head.

“Jesus (jaysus) Dr Bacher’s photography course. Freshman year!”

You smiled, “By Jove I think he's got it!”

“T’at’s how ye know me. We got right stuck in that darkroom door. It was like a pitch-black tube really. Man I bloody well panicked.”

“I thought you were screwing with me at first! Your hands were so sweaty my tee-shirt was wet from where you were groping me. I kept thinking how every single girl in our class would've killed our professor to be stuck with the hot Irish guy. All that heavy breathing, my teenage brain thought it was sexual tension.”

“I was 18 wedged in a small space with a cute girl. It was claustrophobia, but it was also sexy.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and smiled. The two of you ignoring the ride and it's slow rotations. Still holding hands.

“I don't think I imagined that..” you struggled with the next line.. “parts of you were totally poking into me.”

Sean's mouth dropped open but he repeated his prior sentiment. A bit higher pitched. “I WAS 18 IN A SMALL SPACE WITH A HOT GIRL!” His lilt was more pronounced.

“Who gets a fear.. boner,” you rolled back into the hysterics from earlier on the ground.

Sean's face a deep crimson as his mouth tightened into a straight line. He looked away, but you knew he was playing along. Those eyes betrayed him with a hint of a smile.

“You told me if I got us out you’d take me on a date.”

“I said I'd kiss ye if we got out alive. Never knew how long it’d be til someone found us.”

“You did!” you agreed excitedly. “The door just needed hoisted up and back on the track. Which I did! Then we stumbled out and I practically threw myself in your arms for that kiss.”

“Wait, did we?” Sean turned back to you as the Ferris wheel slowed to another stop. Neither of you remembered it moving.

“No. Stupid ass Derek Sandoval was in the classroom waiting for you.”

“Oi! Watch now, he's still my mate.” Sean's turn to tease now.

“I bet he is.”

The two of you sat back in the car. Your fingers still entwined but the fright had melted away. Sean let out a long steady breath as he really looked out on the carnival and the multicolored lights as they danced around you. The stars blanketed the sky.

“Sean?”

His face heavenwards. “Yeah y/n?

“I think you owe me a kiss,” your words soft, almost a whisper.

Sean’s gaza came back down from the clouds. The music and noise from the crowds seemed to fade away as your breath caught in your throat. Without a second thought, he let go of your hand and put his arm around you. That soft mouth leaned over and almost melted with yours. Your bodies enveloped in a hug as Sean slid the tip of his tongue between your lips. Your own darted forward to fight with it.

Then the car hulked into motion again and you broke apart. A smirk on Sean's face revealed a dimple, and you joined in with a grin of your own.

“Well, that was worth a four year wait.”

Tag list: @joz-stankovich @robertsheehanownsmyass @magic-multicolored-miracle @elliethesuperfruitlover

[craftypeaceturtle]

A is for Arrival...?

Summary: Remus and Janus are shopping ready for the new arrival for their family.

Note: The start of an AU and series because I’m just a sucker for any type of familiar sides. Romantic Demus and Royality.

Next Part: B is for Baby Time

.

“Hey Jay?” Remus suddenly stopped; his eyes enormous. 

“Yes, dear?” Janus put on a dramatic Victorian tone, his spine straightening with his hand frozen poised with the packet of washing up sponges. 

“Do we need to get birthday stuff?” Janus immediately scrunched his face, “No wait! Listen. You celebrate your kid’s birthday every year so surely you celebrate his first ever one ever. Right?”

Janus stared into the distance as he dropped the sponges on the floor, “Call your brother.”

“No,” Remus whined but still pulled up his phone and promptly shoved it into Janus’ chest, “He’ll only make fun of me if I ask it. If you ask it, then maybe he’ll presume he’s the stupid!”

“Did he celebrate Logan’s first ever ever birthday? What would you even call it? First day of existence?” Janus frowned as he speed dialled the number. 

“If he did, he didn’t invite me!” Remus shrugged before picking up the sponges. He immediately crowded into Janus and smooshed himself into his shoulder. 

They picked up on the second ring, Patton’s sigh answering. Something that they probably weren’t supposed to hear. “Hello Roman. We just have a quick question,” Janus chirped. 

“Hey Janus. It’s Patton by the way. Wow, another question, huh?” Patton, meanwhile, gave Roman a stern look and thrusted the phone at him again. Roman pulled a face as he shrugged and ducked back down behind the sofa. Frowning, he put it on speaker so they could both suffer, “What did you want to ask?”

“Should we celebrate our baby’s first ever day? Like a birthday but for their very very first birthday?” 

“What!” Roman shrieked before leaping back on to the sofa; ever so suddenly finding the strength to talk. 

“What do you mean ‘what’! God, he’s such a douche,” Remus muttered.

“I’m a douche, oh am I? Why would you celebrate a baby’s first ever day. It’s their first ever day in this world! They get overwhelmed and scared so easily. It’s a big scary world out there and you’re going to shove a party in their face! The baby is barely old enough to move it’s own hands! It’s a baby!” Roman complained while Patton giggled.

“To treat this seriously for a second, when you finally get your baby, the very last thing you want to do is mess around too much. After all this time, all that waiting, you finally get this tiny fragile baby. A tiny itty bitty baby. All you’ll want to do is just sit there and watch them quietly. A party is the last thing you’ll think to do. Heh, me and Roman even forgot to eat that day and only remembered hours later,” Patton spoke softly with his own memories uplifting his annoyance. Roman smiled and knocked their shoulders together. 

“...So is it worth buying like finger food in case we forget to eat?” Remus interrupted.

“Uh... yeah? I mean, yeah that would work,” Roman fumbled.

“Okay. Cheers. Bye!” Remus called out while Janus rolled his eyes, “Wow. We really need to get them something for putting up with all this.”

“Well I’m going to keep talking to them, you weirdo.” Janus ran his hand through Remus’ crazed curls but he was quickly shrugged off as Remus went to evaluate which bleach was best for their toilet, “How are you two?”

“Yeah, all’s good here! Just your typical day, what are you doing?” Patton chirped.

“Baby shopping mixed with some normal shopping. Extremely exciting, I’m sure you’re jealous,” Janus felt his voice go soft at just the mere mention of his coming baby.

“Aww! That’s so sweet,” Patton sighed, “I miss that so much about Logie. Baby clothes shopping is the only reason worth becoming a dad.”

“Oh Pat! Such slander, I’m impressed,” Janus laughed.

“Oh hush! Everyone knows that baby clothes are the best cutest things in existence. Aw, are you going to buy Halloween clothes! Me and Roman saw some adorable skeleton onesies today and I came this close to buying it for the baby.”

“Yeah, I think at this point we’ve bought him more Halloween clothes than normal baby stuff. That’s the whole reason we still have to do some shopping. There were these pumpkin shoes and socks. Oh Pat! I swear if I wasn’t so macho and cool, I would’ve cried. Baby shoes are just so tiny!” Remus raised a brow at his squealing voice. But then he also knew exactly what Janus was talking about just from his tone alone. Those shoes were actually pretty cute. 

“They are right! Aw, do you know any more about the baby?”

“Well...” Janus drawled while Remus took a breath. They agreed that Janus was going to deal with this breaking news.

“We met up with the mother yesterday.”

“Oh! My! Oh! Oh, Jayjay! That’s amazing! How was she?” Remus quickly snatched the phone and flicked it to speaker. Janus raised a brow at him but he was only met with the most mischievous smirk back. He frowned but turned back to continue talking only now with Patton’s voice squeaking out across the aisle. 

“She looked exhausted. I felt so bad for her. Meeting up for a coffee looked like the very last thing she wanted to do,” Remus said. 

“Bless her,” Janus sighed, “She was lovely.”

“Aw, that’s good. We never really got to meet our surrogate, how come yours wanted to meet?”

“Well, she apparently had a bit of a health scare. All is good! Everything is all good! But she just wanted to sit down with us and actually go through everything that happened. So we sat and talked about the health of the baby. Again, all is good obviously. But... so... we may or may not have found out our baby’s gender,” Janus winced once the squeal erupted over the phone. Remus cackled at the amount of people who turned to look at them with dirty looks before he turned the speaker off again. Ah, yes wouldn’t be a trip to the shops if Remus couldn’t spread some mild chaos. 

“What’s their gender!” Patton screamed before launching up from the sofa. Roman was giggling as Patton jumped up and down and spun him around. 

“We’re having a boy!” Janus smiled. He would deny the glow in his chest for this rest of his life but he couldn’t help but grab Remus’ hand. Remus smiled, thankfully, and squeezed his hand with his own lovesick smile. Their baby boy.

“Oh a boy!” Patton squealed high enough for dogs. 

“Typical, not one girl in this entire family,” Roman chuckled. 

“Oh congrats guys! When’s the due date again?” Patton sighed.

“10th of December. I almost feel bad for the boy. He’s going to have to put up with the whole Christmas birthday combination.”

“I’m still upset that he wasn’t a Halloween baby,” Remus frowned. 

They chatted for a few more minutes before Janus finally hung up. They were still holding hands- they would look exactly like a couple from a lovey film if they actually dressed like normal people rather than Disney villains. All they needed to do now grab was some more normal baby outfits. A very simple easy task. Just look at some clothes and chose some cute functional clothes.

But every single time... every single time, they would find the most abnormal baby outfits possible. That and they always spent a good ten solid minutes of staring at the tiny shoes. They looked like build-a-bear shoes. They didn’t even look real. 

“I can’t wait until he arrives,” Remus mumbled as he picked up a hideous orange dinosaur patterned jumper set. Janus tried to hide the smile but he quickly placed his head on his shoulder as they stood there. 

“Neither can I. He can’t come soon enough. Just like how you can’t put back that gross set soon enough.”

“You don’t like it! I think it’s cute.” Remus tilted his head as if that made it cuter. 

“He’s so not going to be an orange baby.”

“You don’t know that! Does he even need a colour?”

“You’ve got green, I like yellow. He also needs a colour. While we can still have control over what he wears at least,” Janus stated like Remus was a toddler trying to argue that the sky was green. 

“So we both have our ugly colours. Then he also needs an ugly colour too! Orange is a disgusting colour!” Remus thrusted the jumper in his face. 

“Oh totally exactly, dear,” Janus rolled his eyes before he then felt the passion erupt from him, “Okay. Firstly, for your information, yellow is a beautiful colour thank you very much. You’re the one that chose the grossest colour of green to embrace. He can have purple,” Janus winced as he guided Remus’ hand back down to the shelf. 

“Purple?” 

“Yes. A beautiful colour. Not only does it screw over superfluous ridiculous gender roles, it also is close enough to match our dress senses,” Janus stated with a proud look. Remus opened his mouth but then snapping it shut with a respectful nod. Yep, that sounded like a plan.  

They eventually found some normal tiny eeny weeny pair of jeans and they used all of their collective strength to stay clear of all the Halloween clothes and bought some presentable jumpers. Janus was finally starting to get fed up with standing around in a shop before he realised that Remus’ eyes kept flicking to a shelf behind them. 

He never made any move to actually go look at whatever it was and he never mentioned it. Janus found every reason to keep looking at the same pairs of stripey socks to give him time but he still said nothing. It was so uncommon that Remus felt shy about suggesting something. What could be the harm? “What you looking at?” Janus asked while exaggeratedly turning around.

“Um... I just noticed...” Remus drawled off. It was just a discount shelf. It was stacked with just random broken items that clearly no one ever take any interest in. Remus shyly sulked up to it and pushed aside the chipped mugs and torn notebooks without any hesitation. He pulled up a baby blanket. 

It was the exact same incredibly soft material all baby stuff was made from. The stuff where your hand magnetised to its softness. It was a quilted baby blanket in a pastel lilac. It was cute but it wouldn’t be on a discounted shelf without reason. There was a large smudge of black marker on its corner. But as Remus held it up, Janus laughed. It wasn’t quilted. It was sewn to be a spider web pattern around the blanket. Clearly an old Halloween gimmick. 

He turned to ask if Remus was all ready to go then and was immediately punched in the stomach. Remus was all teary eyed and awkwardly looking anywhere but him. His fingers brushed through the blanket over and over again. 

“Oh Reem,” Janus cooed and tugged the blanket from his grasp but he didn’t let go.

“I don’t even know why I’m tearing up!” Remus pressed his arms against his face. Janus felt himself tearing up as well. Something about how Remus’ voice would go all wobbly and pitchy when he was on the edge of tears just always got to him, “Just... oh this is so fucking stupid.”

“Well you’ve got us both crying in a shop at 9 in the morning. I’d say it sounds pretty dumb,” Janus smiled.

“Just... he could be our little spider. Just like how I’m your octopus and you’re my snake,” Remus’ voice was practically crumbling away. Janus felt a disgusting childish tear slip down his face.

“Oh Reem.” Janus hugged him, only so he didn’t have to experience the embarrassment of people seeing his husband’s gross taste in blankets of course. 

“How much spider stuff have we bought him! Like that would be perfect. And this is purple and spider!” Remus felt a tear escape his control too but he just buried his nose in Janus’ hair. 

“Oh you are such a nightmare of a husband. I’m taking you back to the husband shop and refunding you,” Janus groaned, he broke away and snatched the blanket from his grasp and shoved it into their trolley. At least it was cheap. Plus they would probably end up staining it with gross new born baby vomit anyway. 

[omisbreakfast]

i rank every summer outfits from a3! because??

because i can. also fuck you.

the first version of this was deleted by tumblr in my drafts and now i have to re write it entirely and i fucking hate it here... anyways.

i’m biased as fuck

sorry it’s a long post

harugumi :

itaru : yeah no actually it’s pretty fine. ngl itaru is kinda hot when he dress correctly so there’s that. also, he’s often in pink. it suits him, but i don’t like it. still.... cute. but it’s also itaru so not too much praises. 9/10

citron : why.......... the shoes.... what the fuck are those shoes.... where did you even find them..... do you wanna fight or something.... this fills me with rage... you’ve disappointed me, citron... also hate the shirt. 3/10

tsuzuru : casual, soft, classic boy... nothing much to say here. but WHY THE FUCKING HAT??? IT RUINS EVERYTHING...... at least wear it correctly PLEASE. YOU DUMABSS. and the shoes would have been better in another color. i just,,,,, why tsuzuru, why the hat... 4/10

sakuya : i can’t bring myself to say bad things about sakuya. (also the fact that i don’t remember what i wrote before the first version of this post got deleted in my drafts pisses me off) but like,,, he’s cute. i mean it’s a classic outfit. tho the choice of the shirt is questionable as fuck. also HES SO TINY BABY. 6/10

masumi : yeah no actually i like it. i really like the shirt for some reason, it suits him. BUT BUT BUT the pants looks weird as hell LMAO?? like... it makes him looks like a crotch less ken doll??? it’s,,, really weird. also the shoes are.... hmmm.... overall good balance but there’s some weird stuffs going on. 7/10

chikage : garbage boy stink man. fucking looks like a rich white boy coming home from tennis and i fucking hate it here ™ if i’m objective about this it’s actually NOT bad but it loses several points for the sole reason that it’s fucking chikage and i won’t take shit for it. 6/10

natsugumi :

kazunari : why. why do you do this. why. why. how am i supposed to ever learn how to love when you backstab me like this, kaz ? what do we do now ? i trusted you and you betrayed me. i can never find love ever again............ yeah ok. pls let’s skip to the next one.... 2/10 (and two points is because it’s kaz and i just can’t bring myself to truly hate him.)

yuki : it’s not bad but i hate this dress. like. his outfits are usually ok but this? no. YOU LOOK LIKE A GOOD CHRISTIAN BOY, DAMN IT YUKI. are YOU GOING TO CHURCH TO PRAISE THE LORD TODAY TOO? also the colour of it... no. 4/10

tenma : congrats you rich boy you finally have a decent outfit ! though i don’t understand the concept of your zip being infront but ok. bet his stans like it smh. also i like the color of his jacket. very nice. 8/10

muku : baby i love u so much but u look like the pinterest girls who take aesthetic pictures in flowers fields and are smiling like the sun @ the camera.......... which is not per se but it’s a whole vibe. also stop wearing orange. it doesn’t go with your hair well........ ilu cutie. 8/10

misumi : my sweet boy. why are you wearing an hoodie with a jacket. why. it’s summer you idiot. you’ll get overheated. stop. but overall he looks very nice. idk i just think he’s neat......... i. i love u @ misumi. 9/10 (don’t look at me)

kumon : he... he looks like.... a j-j-j*ck..... which he is............... i just........... oh my god. i love kumon but he IS a jock i JUST ???? LALFKGKK. also his fucking shoes makes me lose my mind because this is so fucking bullshit ???? so ugly it hurts my eyes.... he’s lucky he’s a good boy. 4/10

akigumi :

juza : nah he hot as hell in this pass on it. if you’re asking yourself why he looks so good, here’s your answer : his arms. his arms are great. i can excuse his sandales this time cuz IT IS summer but yeah. yeah no he’s cute and- yeah. ok. yeah. hm hm. 9.5/10

taichi : so the thing with taichi is that his style is NOT bad per se but like. he’s a skater boy. so my standards are already very low for him,,,, like no offence i love taichi so much but,,,, that’s how it be.... his shirts are usually so big he looks like a GOD DAMN FLAG i can’t with this. and i don’t like how baggy his pants are but yeah,,,, it’s just a whole look.... anyways................ 6/10

omi : in which yosei boys decided to fucking test my patience by putting on classic, good looking clothes and decided to absolutely ruin my entire hopes and dreams (if i’m being dramatic ? no i am not.) AND their WHOLE outfits adding an useless stupid fucking hat thay doesnt seems even to be worn properly. omi, tsuzuru, you’ll pay for this. 7/10

sakyo : (i’m tired as heck and i almost forgot about sakyo when he’s right in the middle) actually i like this. it’s color coordinated and i think that’s very nice. but i wish his pants would have been a little bit longer. yeah no that’s it for real. also idk what’s about this outfit but he really shows how skinny he really is LMAOOO. shithead sakyo. 8/10

azami : the thing about azami is that usually his upper half is pretty well dressed, or whatever, but when we look at his pants/shoes its where everything goes to shit. Like ???? what the fuck man you could have done so much better if you didn’t decide to put this gigantic pants who looks like you’re gonna fly with it or fucking whatever (i don’t need to make sense i’m TIRED) also his shoes bothers me. can’t believe he’s fucking 15 like shut up. 6/10

banri : ...... *inhales* FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU. fuck you and your ugly ass little hat and your zombie like haircut i. fucking despise you. if he were standing right infront of me, no he wouldn’t be because he would deck him so hard. YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY CLOTHES AND THE TIME TO TRY AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD ?? SO WHY???? what’s going on in your ugly ass little head bitch. THANK YOU god he isn’t wearing any animal prints in this, thats one thing. imagine this awful outfit with the ugly shoes and stUPID FUCKING HAT that i hate, with a leopard print shirt.... yeah cursed. i know. sorry banri stans i cant hear you over the sound of your man fishing with joe and bertrand on a sunday morning at 6am. 3/10

fuyugumi :

tasuku : ... idk man. he’s just there. why is... his shoes... so flashy........ bruh...... also he looks like a very straight man and idk how to feel about this. we know u gay bitch. 7/10

hisoka : except for the fucking weird ass pants it’s actually ok. he looks.... very comfy. 10/10 would CUDDLE...... pls hisoka.... i’m tired... fluffy boy..... ugh..... i don’t have much to say about this ok he just.... spare some cuddles. 7/10

actually i like it. well. there’s two things that bothers me. GREEN. DOESN’T. SUIT. HIM. PERIOD. if u think otherwise i’m sorry. it’s just awful with his purple hair (or whatever color it is) imo. and the second..... the square should have been a triangle. i won’t take no’s. 8.5/10

tsumugi : ngl tsumugi gives me little lost boy looking for his mommy vibes. at first i thought it was his outfits but no, it’s just his face. and this ? doesn’t make it better. idk how to explain but how he wears his shirt makes it look like he’s floating and it’s kinda cute in a... special way. he’s just a very sweet boy. 7/10

azuma : i can’t bring myself to even say bad things about azuma... it’s physical. i just can’t. i have a theory his power is that strong and therefore i cannot critizice this beauty. he just. is. ya know........ sigh...... 9/10

guy : if he dresses like this, that’s.... that’s not your man, ladies. that’s your loving, hardworking and dedicated husband who just went to pick some flowers in the prairies next to your little farm in the middle of the nowhere but who’s still paradise on earth cuz it’s the two of you and you couldn’t ask for anything more. deadass. fucking peasants. 4/10