#hes a guy but he still gets to be pink and campy and all

[lobotomysyndromez]

Mettaton. Mettaton

[the-lighthouse-lit]

Hey remember that crossover between Miraculous and Teen Titans?

Well here’s a sort if follow up to that; Hawkmoth decides to switch up his strategy somewhat. He’s made the realization that utilizing average citizens of Paris as potential targets for his akumas only limit the chances the akumatized individual has before the need to replenish his powers for the day. If he are going to bring a person to seize the miraculouses, he might need someone who has the combat experience, knowledge and will power that can actually be a legit challenge to teenage superheroes without eh need of an akuma.

He one day looks though archival footage of one particular person who has fought against the American based team known as the Titans to a stand still numerous times and not only survive but even eludes capture from them to the present day.

With one quick phone call across the dark web, Hawkmoth is able to meet with this one super criminal who also acts as a mercenary and has a simple offer; being him both Ladybug and Cat Noir directly to him alive and their miraculouses intact and he’ll be handsomely rewarded

This individual, a Mr. Slade Wilson, is intrigued…I’ll let you take it from here

(This would probably be better if I’d watched the movie where the rest of the world’s superheroes come in, but whatever! Here I go!)

OKAY so initially I was picturing cartoon Slade (competing with Hawkmoth in classic-villain serious-business hamminess) but then I thought, 80’s/90’s comics Deathstroke… with all his brutal pragmatism and the snark for days… how glorious would it be, thrown into the Miraculous world, experiencing the over the top campiness and having a lot to say about the genre conventions?

Like picture this guy

If he has a lot to say about Gotham’s colorful villains and the boy-scouty Titans, picture him meeting the ML squad

And maybe you were thinking ‘Hawkmoth hires Slade for money’ but my immediate thought was ‘two big villains trade arch-enemies to take them all by surprise’ (Maybe Slade’s end of the deal was ‘take care of the Titans for me’)

Now for the first showdown!

So Ladybug and Chat Noir are targeted by an actual mercenary and they have no idea. They’d break his sword, guns, and whatever else he brought (which Slade is naturally delighted about) trying to find the akuma and keep coming up empty handed.

I fully see that Ladybug is out swinging a yo-yo and Slade's trying to shoot her.

It’s a tossup whose scheme would succeed when Slade ‘90% brain function usage’ Wilson meets Lady-‘crazy contrived Lucky Charm solutions that somehow work’-bug. Maybe Ladybug and Chat Noir win the first round from having the element of surprise.

Slade would get away un-deakumatized and Ladybug and Chat Noir would have to face the possibility there's a new supervillain in town.

I see Slade leaving the battle being glad he managed to destroy Chat Noir’s staff and being surprised and mildly impressed these kids don’t care the three of them managed to destroy the Eiffel Tower (of course) and two other national monuments in the fight… only to see LB regenerate everything via a cloud of pink confetti and go “…Really?”

Meanwhile, let’s say in San Francisco, Hawkmoth holds up his end of the deal and the Titans have to fight an onslaught of new transplanted supervillains (which are incredibly colorful and kind of cheesy-looking. This one guy's motif seems to be pigeons, that lady fights from atop an entire musical pirate ship, and that other guy’s just a giant snowman made of ice cream?), and fight them in measure of the power they seem to have, only for them to revert to civilians afterwards, and maybe the Titans are met with public scrutiny when the media makes it seem like they used undue power in regular people, and disoriented French tourists to boot?

Tossing this back to you*, how do both superhero parties find out what happened?

(*Also opening this up if anyone wants to join in!)

[arengnera]

The Flesh Dress

All of the fabric for this was reclaimed from curtains, scraps, tights, discarded tule from a local highschool prom that I snatched up like a horrible little vulture. The boning in the bodice was done with huge zip-ties but I’m not convinced getting real sewable boning wouldn’t have been worth it. The channels on the reinforcement were a bit of a bitch. The swords I also forged myself, but this ain’t about them. A lot of (mostly fake) blood, sweat and tears went into this one and I’m super pleased with the results. Huge shout out to @spoonbendersanonymous​ who was kind enough to lend me the fake blood, their anatomical text book, and had me sit down to watch Bride of Reanimator for inspiration.

Process photos and bonus photoshoot pictures below the cut!

Original sketches! A lot of me trying to figure out how to make boning look like bones while maintaining a classic shape. I said edwardian on the sketch but it honestly might be Victorian I'm really not sure. This was a combined art project for one of my classes, the idea was using old fashioned mourning traditions and clothes in a modern and campy way, to complain about how much capitalism erodes our time to mourn. At least that’s what I told the professor, It’s really about making a weird and off putting dress first and foremost.

Tape pattern and paper pattern! This was my first time doing this so don't take thus as any sort of guide.

It worked though, as shown by the world’s worst corset fitting - the pink thing on my arm was where I was planning on putting the upper sleeve, I was trying to see if my poof was good since my sleeves were a lot thinner and a lot longer than what would have been optimal for the amount of poof I wanted, I had to do some work around with the fabric I had

Now I’m just bragging about getting eyelets to look clean and good for once in my life. If I was going to do anything different about this though, I would ad more eases in the back, because I need to contort horribly to get out of the bodice, I fit it too well

This bad boy was really the crux of the whole project. The entire thing was a pun so I could applique an anatomically accurate heart on a sheer sleeve.

This was was it’s intermediary stage, where I was suddenly very much out of time for the first deadline and had to put off adding all of the gore I wanted to, so the simple applique heart had to do. The skirt itself was way less poofy than I would have liked, and didn’t quite give the silhouette I wanted. I ended up going with the train because the under skirt isn’t actually connected in the back. Thus is the nature of working with weird panels of curtains you’ve already cut into for a few other projects. God bless the thrift store curtain section.

The guts were made by sewing together sheer tights, and filling them with polyfill. Here they are, before they were stippled with liquid flesh colored latex and soaked in fabric paint - and after where you can see all that extra TEXTURE

I was able to use it for another project though, and I was very happy with the beading work here, although I did end up losing my biggest strand at some point.

Here’s my makeup test! I played around with doing some blood red lips but decided the blueish corpse look was better. Fun fact! I drove home wearing a sweatshirt that says ��I heart corpse desecration” on it through the snow storm, and pulled over to offer some guy a hand with his car, forgetting I still looked like this. He turned me down.

The face of someone who can definitely be trusted for road side assistance. - Also I was posing as the two of swords tarot illustration for the final gallery exhibit.

[funnywormz]

top 10 lobby boy looks please and thank you rate this man like he's in an issue of cosmo and we're ripping him asunder

this was a toughie bc idk anything abt fashion and his outfits aren't described in as much detail as the manager but i still had fun!! decided to only use publicly accessible canon episodes for this (no bonus eps, nothing patreon exclusive) hehe. also let me reiterate once more that i have the worst fashion sense in the entire world

NUMBER 10: 4.10 - audrey burns

awesome episode but this fit sounds boring as hell. it doesn't sound BAD but just...... boring.......... doesn't even have a hat. sad

NUMBER 9: 4.1 - perry sherwin

he doesn't like it and i don't either. white is definitely not the best colour to be wearing when you're employed at a slimy gross murder hotel lol. maybe it looked kinda cool but thinking abt him trying to get the stains out makes me a little sad. also plain white is kinda boring imo....... although it could look cool in a kind of stark way i suppose

NUMBER 8: 4.17 - debbie houston

putting this one low on the list bc it's uncomfortable for him and he didn't like it which is sad. but it's at number 8 not lower bc i instinctively know he was serving cunt here. like i know he looked kinda sexy in it. but he doesn't like it and comfort should always come before fashion imho, hence its low spot on the list. also he didn't even get to wear it out of the closet.......

NUMBER 7: 4.16 - alex potenski

made the manager cringe but i think it sounds kinda cute in an ugly way. like he could wear this to a barbecue or to the beach or something. i like it when madam hotel puts him in pink.........

NUMBER 6: 4.7 - dorothy rennup

it's giving librarian. it's giving tumblr history teacher aesthetic. unfortunately i have a weakness for that kind of outfit so i think it sounds cute. it also sounds comfortable and warm which is important! and the collared button up under a sweater look is always something i enjoy................

NUMBER 5: 4.3 - the habers

we never actually get this one properly described to us which is why it isn't higher on the list. based on the hotel taking on a 70s aesthetic in this episode and the fact that even THINKING about this made the manager cringe kinda fills me with joy bc i know it was ugly and campy as hell. in my heart i know he was so garish and awkward looking and sweaty in this episode and i love it.

NUMBER 4: 4.9 - mr platt

i think this sounds cute sorry miss manager. once again i like it when the hotel puts him in pink outfits. by "coral" im assuming it's a pink/peachy coral type of colour which i think would look cool in combination with black. tidy but a little bit ugly in a way that i enjoy greatly. idk exactly why i like this one as much as i do. but i do.

NUMBER 3: 5.2 - it watches and it smiles

LOVE THIS THANG! underrated episode imo. i love the way this episode combines ominous terror with like, pleasant night time tropical beach vibes. it's rlly good. the description of the lobby boy in this episode is also rlly good. something chunky and very low to the ground that can't move fast but has very very long grabby arms and bulging big eyes and an evil grin........ i love it. sounds very spooky. love it when he's at the window menacing the guy inside. it's easy to get a vague idea of this creature in my head but hard to pin it down to a specific design which i think is intentional, and i rlly like it. very shaped animal. sounds like he might look at little bit silly if you caught him in the daylight perhaps, although that isn't necessarily a bad thing

NUMBER 2: 2.2 - cracker man

sadly we don't get much of a description of cracker man but im putting him high up bc i think he is awesome. bones sticking out everywhere, joints and the wrong angles, all skinny and tall and bulging and swollen and creaking........ love it. i bet he looks so scary. the idea of the monster chasing you being all broken and sad and in pain itself is very compelling. also the body horror side to the cracker man where he's constantly creaking and snapping with every movement is so uncomfortable (in a good way). also as someone with very creaky and sometimes painful joints i can relate to him.

NUMBER 1: 4.5 - robert watson

maybe this sounds underwhelming but hear me out. HEAR ME OUT OK! this is one of the few episodes where the lobby boy is described as wearing the classic red lobby boy uniform, and it's extra shiny and fancy and pretty this time. i think he was physically at his peak of lobby-boy-ness here. the red outfit with the hat and shiny buttons is a classic and it's his most iconic look ever. most people in the fandom including me draw him this way. it might seem boring or generic bc it's so common but to me this outfit is just His Outfit. it's the lobby boy outfit. unbeatable imo. if he was a cartoon character and wore the same outfit every episode i just KNOW it would be this one. it's a classic. i will not be swayed on this.

[thunderheadfred]

🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚

Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons. HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails

I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.

This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there. Anyway. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

You met Tenko before the League existed.

Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.

You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.

(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)

(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)

He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.

You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.

- - - The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous. He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now. But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap. You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.

You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.

Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him. You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary. At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.

It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.

When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.

Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.

You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask. Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try. - - - This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad? You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. (He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?) He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.

But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind. Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.

And... strawberry cake. The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks. God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating? Quick, think. You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.

You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like. You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.

You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick. You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe... Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit. - - - Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number. So. Um. What now? You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas? Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.

Tenko, are you crying? Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now. It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves. Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best. Your chest hurts. - - - He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had. But no. Apparently not.

This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.

He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.

You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already. You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders. A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you? You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair. A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful? This is really happening. --- Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.

All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop. Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick. But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar. It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.

When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.

Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.

No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.

Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...

No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.

So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.

It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?

You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.

---

You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.

It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.

He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.

I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.

It's okay, Tenko.

You know he doesn't want to.

- - - - - (oops I wrote more)

[about-faces]

The director Joel Schumacher has passed away, and everyone's reactions have boiled down to two topics: 1.) "He was the guy who made the bad Batman films," and 2.) "Hey, he did lots of great films besides the bad Batman films!"

Thing is... I get it. I remember being a teenage comic fan in the 90's. Not just any comics: especially Batman! But ESPECIALLY Bart especially Two-Face. I remember how "Joel Schumacher" was a name that could invoke white-hot rage in myself and everyone in the fandom. He was our modern equivalent of Dr. Fredrick Wertham, the boogyman who had (far as we were concerned) single-handedly destroyed the mainstream credibility of superheroes.

Look at that picture, and try to imagine that this was the face so loathed and mocked by Batman fanboys in the 90′s.

Never mind that Schumacher didn't WRITE the Batman films. The main credit for that goes to Akiva Goldsman, who has gone on to win an Oscar and continues to find A-list success despite ruining other geek properties like Jonah Hex and Dark Tower. Never mind that Schumacher was at the mercy of producers who wanted the movies to be nothing more than merchandise machines and toy commercials. No, Schumacher was the only name associated with the films, and he was cast at the villain.

The fact that he was openly gay played no small part in making him an easy target.

One year after the disastrous release of the infamous Batman & Robin, the beloved fan-favorite cartoon Batman: The Animated Series (then rebranded as The New Batman Adventures on the WB network) produced an episode that featured a pointed jab at Schumacher. The episode was titled "Legends of the Dark Knight," a reworking of a classic 70's Batman tale where a group of kids share their own ideas of what the mysterious Batman is really like.

Halfway through the episode, the kids are overheard by another kid, who shares his own ideas about Batman. The kid, whose name is Joel, has long dirty-blond hair, and works in front of a store which bear the sign "Shoemaker," despite clearly being a department store. He waxes dreamily about the reasons he loves Batman: "All those muscles, the tight rubber armor and that flashy car. I heard it can drive up walls!"

This last line--a reference to a silly bit in Batman Forever--he says as he flamboyantly tosses a pink fur stole around his neck. To drive home the joke, one of the kids dismisses, "Yeah, sure, Joel."

At the time, it seemed like a cathartic joke for us REAL Batman fans. Now, it's clearly just cheap and gross. Instead of any actual criticism about the films, Joel Schumacher was just seen--even if just subconsciously--as the fruit who ruined Batman.

Over time, the hatred for Schumacher lessened. Starting with Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man, on through to Batman Begins, Iron Man, and onward, superhero movies became huge mainstream successes, with greater fidelity to the source material than most adaptations we saw up to the time that Schumacher "killed" the superhero movie. There was no point in hating him anymore, if there ever was (again, Goldsman more deserves that ire, if you're gonna be angry about anyone. Why does he still get work?! WHY IS HE NOW WRITING FOR STAR TREK?!?!).

But even still, especially among Millennial and Gen-X fans, Schumacher is still--at best--considered a low point for fandom. Even though the same generations have come to appreciate and love some of his other films, such as The Lost Boys, Phone Booth, and the chillingly-prescient Falling Down, there's still this need for people to dismiss the Batman films as embarrassments that are best forgotten in favor of Schumacher's better films. And if they're to be remembered at all, it's to trash them all over again in a tone suggesting that the films are objectively, irredeemably bad.

Except they're not. Oh sure, if you go in looking for a grim and gritty capital-M "Mature" take on Batman, of course you'll hate them, just like you probably also hate the Adam West Batman show. Remember, that show also used to be hated by decades of Batman fans because of how it didn't take the comics seriously.

... except it did. The show was VERY faithful to the Batman comics of the 50's, which often out-weirded and out-sillied its TV counterpart. If anything, the show made some of those stories even more entertaining with camp value and jokes that added different levels of enjoyment to the adults watching. Comic fans resented how Batman became a pop culture joke, and increasingly fought against anything that was colorful and campy (which makes me wonder if this might also be related to latent homophobia). Whether or not they admitted/realized it, the Batman fans of the 70's and 80's carried a chip on their shoulder about a show that DARED to make Batman FUN.

And really... how is that any different than Schumacher's two films?

You don't have to agree, but I think Schumacher's films are fun. I think Batman Forever is highly entertaining, that Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey are bringing their hammy A-games as much respected actors like Burgess Meredith and Caesar Romero brought to their roles. Same goes for Arnold and especially Uma in Batman and Robin. They KNOW what movies they're in, and they're all having a blast.

(How many of us remember the exact line Eddie says at this moment? I bet you probably do too, which should tell you something about how memorable this movie is)

Now, BF and particularly B&A are by no means GOOD movies, but you can't tell me that you couldn't have a blast putting the latter on at a party and riffing it with friends. It's not a pretentious, ponderous, self-serious slog like, say, the shit Zack Snyder cranked out (apologies to the one or two cool Snyder fans here, I just find his films interminable). Even besides the many things I could say to defend Schumacher's Batman films (that's a whole other essay), you can't say they were boring. They were entertaining, even if on a level of making fun of the film, and that is NOT as easy as it looks.

Let me put it to you this way: Batman Forever has, objectively, one of the worst takes on Two-Face I've ever seen. He's one-note, he's kind of a rehash of Nicholson's Joker, he gets completely overshadowed by the Riddler, he gets killed by Batman in a way that completely betrays the whole “DON’T KILL HARVEY” arc with Robin, and worst of all, he CHEATS on the coin toss. That alone would be enough for me to condemn this depiction in any other Two-Face story.

And yet, even I--the most passionate, opinionated, and picky Two-Face fan you will EVER know--still have a soft spot for Tommy Lee Jones' take on ol' Harv. He’s just too fun, too flamboyant, too damn extra not to love. If only all bad takes on Two-Face could be this fun!

But that’s the thing: it’s not because the script was good. Oh god no. I've read the script, and if it were put on the page like a comic, I would have hated it just like any other bad Two-Face comic. I have to imagine that, as director, Joel Schumacher deserves the bulk of the credit for pushing the restrained and laconic Tommy Lee Jones into that oversized performance, and making it a delight to watch despite everything it does wrong.

I'm rare for my generation to have learned how to stop worrying and love Schumacher's Batman. But the younger generation, the up-and-coming Gen-Zs getting into Batman, don't share the same grudges we did. There's a genuine, shame-free enjoyment of those films among The Kids, many of whom are LGBTQA+, who love the jokes, the silliness, the camp, the Freeze puns, the swag of Uma Thurman, and the homoerotic subtext between Two-Face and the Riddler. Maybe it's just a reaction to so much GRIM, SERIOUS shit that DC and their fanboys are trying desperately to push even today.

But comics--especially Batman--have a long history of colorful, stupid, fun shit. Schumacher's films carried on in that tradition, and they should be appreciated on their own merits by those of us who aren't limited by narrow ideas of what Batman "should" be, and who still remember how to have fun.

Schumacher's Batman films should no longer be seen as embarrassments. They didn't ruin superheroes. They didn't ruin Batman. They didn't even ruin Two-Face. Nor should they be disregarded in favor of Falling Down, like losers in a respectability competition. They're fun. They're entertaining. And they didn't pretend to be anything else.

And if you still think they're bad... I mean, objectively, you're not wrong! But be mindful of the reasons WHY you think they're bad, because on another subjective level, you may not be right either. And it's certainly not worth holding a geek-grudge over after twenty-five years.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Greasy Weasel x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Lottie

Notes:

Pay no mind to the title- its just an homage to the original piece this is inspired by/for, for my own happiness ^^

So this is an experiment XD I don't think I got Greasy's character quite right (Even if it IS supposed to build on what little info we have) but I like it... sorta... I like the first bit, anyway XD

Plot: Greasy has known you nearly your whole life (Since you were left on the Toon Patrol's doorstep, anyway, with a note that said you belonged to Smart Ass), he raised you- but what happens between the two of you when you return from the Navy 4 years after shipping off cannot be constituted as platonic, in any way.

Warnings: Age difference, Dads friend/Friends kid (NOT pedophilia, Reader is like 24 in this and there were no feelings from his end until now), possible sexual references (I mean its Greasy so what do you expect), etc.

Glaring over your salad, which you play irritated with with your fork, as you lean back in your chair. "Greasy can we talk, in the hallway?" The fury is coursing through you right now, like the goddamn Nile. Where does he even get off saying stuff like this? He is in no position...

He must- he m u s t detect the absolute blood lust in your eyes as he takes a break from leaning on Chase, to you. But look ashamed at all, he does not as he shrugs - but does not speak. A tell tale sign that he's just as, if not more frustrated in the moment and as such, is so not in the mood to get berated, - and gets out his seat; heading for the hallway.

You watch him go with glaring eyes, not moving an inch, before looking at the rest of the table including Chase and taking a breath. Calm down Y/N, keep the anger to yourself... until you talk to Greasy, at least.

"Sorry about this guys, and Dad... " Your gaze flickers the the hallways door and you hop out of your seat, itching to tear into Greasy for his behaviour tonight, and the past couple days actually. "I'll be right back."

You pass your father on your way out, sitting in a recliner chair with earmuffs over his head to block out his family for a while.

As soon as you reach Greasy at the end of the hall, your face twists into a total scowl; all inhibitions and constraints disappearing.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I do not know what you mean, bonita." He mumbles around his grit teeth, arms crossed and resistant. You clench your fists, totally frustrated. Bitter, spiteful, awful man!

"The hell you don't. What was all that!? You've been acting like this since I got home! If you didn't want me back here, then you could've just said it! Woulda hurt a hell of a lot less then this."

At least at that, his shoulders relax for a moment- but his expression does not soften. And neither does the steel in either his eyes or his voice when he yells back, throwing an arm out to express his anger. "It isn't that I didn't want you back home, Y/N, its that you brought some inválido, with you! I did not expect that, from you!"

"Chase is not invalid- " You gasp, horrified at the way Greasy is speaking. Where is all the disgust, coming from? Greasy isn't like this, normally... in fact, you don't think you've ever seen him this senselessly an ass. Why!? "And you say that like its some mortal sin! I brought a boy home, I didn't kill someone- which you would not have the high ground over, either!"

"This was supposed to be family time! You've been gone for years and the first nights you're back, its with some chico!? He must mean a maldito mucho to you for you to possibly think he's worth hanging around with us right now."

"First of all, he does mean a lot to me. He's my friend- " Under his hat, you see Greasy's eyes deeply roll- a huff coming out of him as he tightly crosses his arms again. Like yeah right- "No, no. He is. Shut up. And second of all- if you just wanted to be with family then you could have just said! That doesn't excuse your behaviour." You glare ferociously, waiting for the real reason. Is he drunk, or something?? Honest to god you are baffled by the way he's acting- he's usually cooler then this. Out of any of your father's gang, he was the one you never really had to worry about. His antics made you laugh- but this? This makes you want to cry. Or scream.

You've gone for the second option.

"He does not see you as just a friend." He mutters back petulantly, avoiding looking at you now; Pulling his fedora down more over his face.

"So what!?" Even if he does, why would that make Greasy so mad? You cross your own arms. "You aren't my father and its is not your job to protect my 'chastity', Greasy."

He suddenly goes quiet, though the wrath from before is still clear in way his jaw is clenched. "... I know I'm not your father... " He mutters.

Something about that phrase stumps you. Of course he knows, but why does he look so ashamed? You uncross your arms, and take a deep breath.

"... Okay." Your eyes flash, looking up at him again; Anger still not sated. "Then why are you acting insane and harassing my guest!?"

A growl rips out of him and he bumps the brim of his hat upwards so he can look at you again, right in the eye. "I told you, I don't like that you brought him into this house!- "

"That's not it!" Its not. He's acting crazy about a boy who's acting absolutely lovely and polite. Its not.

You just want him to tell you what it really is that you did. You don't want to keep fighting with him, not with Greasy. You want your silly, campy, perverted Greasy back. Not this rotten version in front of you right now.

"It is!"

You press your fists brattily to your hips. "Is not!"

He bares his teeth and leans forward. "Is!"

"Not!-"

And then all the tension comes to a head, and something absolutely mad happens.

The first thing that you notice is the smell of his stupid expensive perfume filling your nostrils and embracing you, then your your hands curled tightly around the lapels of his suit, and finally the feeling of warmth and tingliness all over your body.

Because you're kissing Greasy.

Your perverted Greasy, one of your fathers best friends, one of the men that raised you, your teenage crush. Your kissing him on the lips and he's slowly reciprocating, his mouth moving carefully, but purposefully against your as he moves his body closer.

But there's anger, too. Your teeth are going to ache when you pull back for pressing into the kiss too hard and the tips of your fingers will pang when you let go of him but not quite yet-

Two sets of lips part and Greasy does this thing with his tongue that tears a long overdue moan out of you, and immediately he rears back like he was burnt. And you're left standing there cold again, completely shocked.

And aroused.

But mainly shocked, because you never expected that to happen but it did and now what are you both going to do?

The air is absolutely silent as you both catch your breaths, from the kiss and also from the fight, and hope your hearts stop beating quite so erratically very soon so you can act normal.

Then, because you've waited for this for too long and the moment is too good to pass up, you step over and kiss him again.

And he kisses you back, like he's totally unable to help himself from kissing you.

All the frustrations and tensions of the past few weeks go into it oh my god- you never expected Greasy to be able to kiss totally well, but it certainly does the trick as it has you holding onto him like your life depends on it, chasing your own pleasure but also experimenting- trying to drag pleasant reactions from him. See what he likes, make him moan.

Between kisses, he mutters 'Cariño... ' warningly, carefully. Like he knows he should stop but you're too good.

When you both finally pull back again minutes later, you're both wide eyed again though far less shocked about your actions, then before.

More scared.

"Don't tell Dad."

___REWIND: A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN YOU GOT HOME___

"Guys!" You scream, the moment your eyes land on the familiar group at the docks, utter excitement fills you up and you almost want to cry as you drop your bags with your friend in order to rush over to your family and throw your arms around the first man you reach- Stupid. "I missed you. I missed you, I missed you so much!!" You squeeze him, the familiar soft, worn feel of his shirt rubbing on your face as you cant help but smile.

"Duhh, Y/N!! We brought you (Favourite snack)!" Stupid informs above you, but squeezes you back in a moment, a happy whine escaping him at having you back there with him. And your hugs.

"Ohhh," Now you really want to cry. You're so overwhelmingly happy to be home and to see them again- and they brought you food. "Now that's what I came home for... " You joke, giggling a little bit tearily before pulling back and almost running in to Psycho, who holds up the snack.

You just wrap him up in a quick, tight hug. As always he's the warmest- like a lizard who's been sitting out on a hot rock for hours.

Next you find your father standing expectantly for you, fake annoyed that you didn't come to him first. "Hey, kid. Yeah, I told 'em you'd be none-too happy to see us if we didn't have your damn food. But this is some reception, for a regular pack."

"Hey, Dad." Your voice comes out wobbly and weak but in a good way, as he takes you up in his skinny arms and pink suit holding your head the way fathers do; Like someone with a bat is coming up behind you but he doesn't want you to know and there's no way in hell, that you're about to get hurt on his watch. "I missed you so much."

He sighs, and grumbles something about feelings, before burning his head down into the hug. "I missed you more kiddo."

After you father curtly lets you go, nodding stiffly at you as if it would save him his tough guy reputation, your attention is stolen by a familiar rusty, painful sounding voice. "Hey there, chickadee. No hello for me?"

"Wheezy!" You exclaim, thrilled. He holds up his hands.

"I wont take it personal if you don't wanna a hug me- wouldn't wanna get all smelly."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "Whenever have I ever cared about that."

"Hm." He grins, and you too hug warmly for a moment then you pull back and greet the last of your boys.

"Bonita, its good to see you of course. Nice to see you got into such good shape over seas- almost as good as me." Greasy grins sharply, before you two collide excitedly, so happy to see each other again and you press a quick kiss to his cheek. You picked up the habit when you had a crush on him, in your teenage years. Now its just routine. Yours and Greasy's thing together.

You squeeze his arms one last time, before letting go. "Oh, guys- " Sniffling, all teary and happy, you hide your face and pull yourself together. "Ahh... I'm sorry." Greasy pats your shoulder, as they all chuckle at your show of emotion- not that they're doing hugely better. Psycho blows his nose into his sleeve, teary himself.

Your Dad, although honestly as happy and serene as he can possibly be, with his hands in his pockets and his little baby back, glances off to your luggage still laying amongst bustling travellers a few metres away and the corners of his lips tilt down. "Boys- go get Y/N's stuff. I don't want it gettin' stolen."

Finally, you pull yourself together. "I brought someone I want you to meet! My friend Chase, he's- he's only stopping off here before moving on to his home further inland. And I was hoping he could have dinner with us tonight? Just, cuz, you know, its both our first night back?"

Your Dad squints at the guy who looks like he's guarding our luggage, as Stupid and Wheezy go and collect it. "That green bean there?"

"He's talllllllllllllllllllll," Psycho comments, giggling as he judges Chase.

"Yep, him." You agree, hoping your father is okay with it. you would hate to leave Chase alone in his apartment the days before his flight. He needs a good, family cooked meal for his first night off the ship!

"Yeah I guess." Smart Ass sighs, shrugging and sighing. "I just got noise resistant headphones- I don't gotta communicate with no one."

You grin. "Thank you, Dad!"

"Whatever."

"A boy?" Greasy pipes up, curiously from beside you. You look over and find him sizing Chase up, then turns to you and smiles weakly- a pale imitation of a teasing smirk. "You brought home a handsome boy?"

Rolling your eyes, you pat him on the back before heading over to Chase; not thinking much at all of Greasy's comment of the odd look on his face. "One, he's a man." Greasy rolls his eyes. "And he's just a friend! Wait here guys, I'll bring him over!"

___Greasy's POV___

"Hmmm... a friend." I shake my head, crossing my arms as watch Y/N interact with this 'Chase'. She picks up one of his bags for him and flashes him one of her pretty smiles, and he watches her move on ahead of him back to us. Por supuesto. For sure.

I watch him as a nauseous feeling rolls in my gut. I know that watch. That is not a 'friend' watch. If he was but a friend, he would be more concerned about the loose wooden board he's standing on rather then the chica's behind.

Perhaps I should tell Smartass what that boy is looking at-

As they come over, the nauseous, grinding feeling in me just gets stronger and I decide against opening my mouth to speak. I'm afraid of whatever might come out- I've never been good at withholding my... feelings.

Its only when the boy catches up to her, and us, and he puts an arm over Y/N's shoulders as she introduces us, and I stiffen up like a wooden plank, that I identify the feeling.

Its something I certainly shouldn't be feeling.

Not about Y/N.

The boss will kill me.

Maybe I can ignore it. Wish it away. Its probably just that I haven't been with a woman in a while, now... Si, that must be it. I am desperate. I good night or two with a lovely lady and I'll be fine.

But then the boy kisses Y/N's cheek and I only just manage to swallow the growl that fights to be torn from the back of my throat at the sight, and I realise immediately that this is going to be more complicated then that.

Far more complicated.

"And this is Greasy! Greasy, Chase." Y/N introduces us brightly, presenting him like he's important and Chase good-naturedly offers his hand to me. All I see though is the devil.

"Nice to meet ya! Y/N's told me about you, I hope we can get along." He beams while I glower, not moving at all to take up his hand.

Oh I doubt that we will, 'Chase', I truly do.

"So Chika!" Promptly I turn to Y/N, a smile on my face as I slip between them and wrap an arm around Y/N, leading her up ahead of the others and especially him. "You haven't told us about your travels much- Psycho ate your last postcard. We have to discuss!"

She glances back, concernedly, at Chase but I just prod her to start talking.

Maybe I can right off these feelings as protectiveness... like I'm supposed to be. I watched this girl grow up and I want her to be happy! I'm like... a... father...

My stomach rolls at the idea, but I swallow the horror down. I have to.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

'birds of prey': a cinematic masterpiece

It's been a little over a year since Birds of Prey came out, a couple of months since I watched in on a whim, and I'm still not over this film.

Too many men people get pressed whenever you say you like this movie. "It's objectively bad," they say. "It's campy. It's too divergent from the canon. It's SJW propaganda."

Who gives a fuck, Richard? Who gives a single flying fuck?

I'll preface this by saying, my knowledge of the DCU is flimsy, at best. I've watched a couple of movies. My mum used to watch Smallville. I watched the pilot episode of Gotham. And I know enough about it to get the few references sprinkled in other media. But I draw a complete blank when it comes to the comics. So the canon of the comics had no effect on my enjoyment of the movie. Which I did. A lot.

I walked in blind when I watched Birds of Prey for the first time. I was unaware of the controversy surrounding it, and the only reason I even gave it the time of day was because I was bored.

I watched Suicide Squad circa 2016, and positively abhorred it- the only good thing about it was the soundtrack (the best songs are always wasted on the worst movies. Case in point: Twilight). And the not-so-casual misogyny was just... Yikes.

And then, we got Birds of Prey.

Since watching the film, I did a bit of research (see: Googling 'birds of prey movie reviews' and clicking on the first few results that popped up). The response was mixed- which honestly came as a surprise, since I thought it was great, and mine is the only opinion that holds weight.

I've read and watched a lot of those reviews. I watched the CinemaSins video. I watched the CinemaWins video, because CinemaSins has taken a major nosedive since I first started watching them.

Were all the negative reviews not-so-subtly indicative of the (predominantly male) critics' misogyny? I dunno; how did they talk about similar male-centered action films? I don't think it's fair to scream, "SEXIST!" just because someone didn't like the movie. Critics hated Venom (which was admittedly pretty meh. I still enjoyed it, though), but it was still pretty well-received by viewers.

I saw one review say that Birds of Prey was 'for the birds'... I'll let you unpack that yourself.

And yet, though I try to keep an open mind, I find it unfathomable how anyone can dislike Birds of Prey.

One of my favorite parts about the movie was the female gaze present throughout its entirety. I've seen people bring up the obvious change in Harley's costume- which I'm a bit iffy about, to be honest. Don't get me wrong- I love her choppy bangs and fun pigtails and the whole fluffy top thing she's got going on, but a whole lot of the critique towards her getup in Suicide Squad comes off a tad too slut-shamey (that isn't a word? Well, it is now).

Her outfit wasn't the issue. It's how she was framed.

In Suicide Squad, we get loads of shots of men leering at Harley, and a little too much emphasis on her breasts and arse in almost every scene she's in. As opposed to Birds of Prey, where Harley's still sexy (I'm seriously concerned for the straight men who found Harley unattractive in this film... You good, Pete?), but we focus on her face instead.

That part where Harley gives Canary a hair tie in the middle of a fight scene? Brilliant.

The characters have depth (a lot of reviews disagree with me. Well, what do I know? I am but a lowly STEM student). One of my favorites was Canary (and not just because I found her insanely attractive)- I love, love, love her arc in the film.

I've seen people complain that the villain didn't really get all villainy until towards the end of the film; which, if Sionis had to put on the mask for you to finally see him as the bad guy, then you've clearly missed most of the film. He's literally introduced while he's peeling the skin off of someone's face. Not to mention that one particular scene at the club- I won't go into too much detail, because it could be triggering to a lot of people- but it chilled me to the bone.

Following up with the villains: "All the men are bad guys," they say. "The whole film is feminist propaganda," they say.

And me posting this on International Women's Day is a bit on-the-nose, I'll admit, but this particular critique bothers me. Because those men aren't unrealistic. They aren't caricatures of men in the real world. We all know men just like them. A lot of them hit a little too close to home for me.

I've seen people complain that women touting the film as feminist turned them off from it- which, I dunno about you, but seems problematic to me on so many levels. Sure, not everything has to have a political agenda, but it's hardly like Harley & Co. scream, "GIRL POWER!" every three minutes.

(Also: it's funny how way more people get mad about poorly executed feminism than actual issues a lot of women in the world face, but that's a topic for another day.)

The diversity was just- wow. Getting not only one but FOUR Asian characters with lines? Hollywood, am I dreaming? The LGBTQ+ representation (not going into Sionis and Zsasz being queer coded)? Holy shit, yes! Maybe I'm getting too excited about this- Hollywood's a lot kinder to us minorities as of late- but it still fills me with joy whenever I see people like me onscreen.

Another complaint that springs up with regards to Birds of Prey is the skewed order in which Harley narrates the events. Which is kind of one of her defining traits- she's an unreliable narrator. And she makes it pretty obvious (this video explains it better than I can). The cartooned beginning was engaging, as corny as some of it was (loved the style, too).

The fight scenes were thrilling to watch. Not a single minute passed by where I was bored (my eyes usually glaze over during prolonged action scenes in films, which did not happen in this case). The comedy was well-timed and bold; the cartoonishness added to its charm.

And this is probably not even significant, but I adored the color scheme. I loved the bright, shocking colors; the emphasis on the pinks, reds and blacks.

And, finally, how could I go without mentioning the soundtrack? It was divine- I listen to the Birds of Prey album on Spotify almost every day; Lonely Gun and Experiment On Me are among my most-played songs, and the rest of the music is just as delightful.

In conclusion: go watch Birds of Prey if you haven't already. It's the closest thing to a spiritual experience I had last year.

[seasonsofeverlark]

Family Prayer

Author: @mega-aulover​

Prompt: Buttercup and Diwali are not things that go together. So even though Katniss dosen't like him much, she and Peeta try to make things easier for Buttercup on that day. [submitted by @everlurked​]

Rating: Fluffy G

Author’s Note: This is a story about Diwali and wouldn’t have been possible without @cadsingh77​ who spent weeks allowing me to ask all sorts of questions about Diwali and what it means to her. I patterned it on her descriptions. She read it, as well, to make sure there were no cultural faux pas. I apologize if there is anything amiss. Also, I’m remiss if I do not mention @norbertsmom​ who at the eleventh hour betaed this story. She’s my rock my bestie, and I would be nothing without her.

__________

Peeta glanced at his suit in the closet. His hands shook. 

In a few hours he was going to meet the family of the love of his life. 

He looked at the phone in his hands. He was lying in bed researching everything Diwali. His girlfriend Katniss had gone over the topic. She explained that just as sunset happens an elaborate puja, a prayer ceremony is done in a temple to begin the holiday. But to most Trinidadians or Trinis, as she called herself, like her family, they said little personal prayers in front of Laxmi, Saraswati and Ganesh and then they would light the diyas, little clay lamps, that they were going to placed in all of the rooms of the house. 

Katniss made it all sound so simple. Diwali was a celebration of light. A victory over darkness. A day to wear new clothing, beautiful jewelry, sing, dance, pray, and light diyas. Katniss said any other guests would arrive after the prayers and they would have a ton of food and everyone would eat and hang out, kids would light sparklers, and there would be singing and dancing too. 

Curious, Peeta watched every Bollywood movie on Netflix. Movies, however, never really explained everything. He put the phone down. He had to  be honest with himself; Katniss’ assurances aside, he was a fish out of water no matter what he did. He was going to meet the most important people in Katniss’s life, her family.

In contrast, his parents were Dan and Cindy from Port Jefferson, Long Island. They owned a bakery near the ferry. They were dull people, they were like the parents of Ian Miller from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. But a lot colder and more dysfunctional, dressed in tans and beiges. Peeta constantly questioned why they would own a bakery that matched the color of bland. They never veered from the menu. Never introduced a new seasonal baked good. Peeta was stuck in that rut until he met Katniss and his entire world changed and color was introduced into his life.

Katniss was the electric jolt that kickstarted his dull heart to life. 

The first time he tasted roti, the buttery tasting flat bread he literally cried. 

From the pictures that Katniss shared of her family, he could tell they were a riot of awesomeness. 

Katniss and her parents hailed from Trinidad and Tobago. Her family moved to Long Island from Germany. Her father was an engineer and physicist. He worked at the superconductor in Germany and then came to Long Island so that he could work on a project at Brookhaven National Laboratory. Her mother worked at Stony Brook University. She ran the nursing department. 

Peeta and Katniss both attended Stony Brook University. He was on his way to a yoga class and she was in her Pink boxing class. From the glass covered room Peeta watched her hit the punching bag like Joe Fraser, and he was a goner. Peeta had a thing for strong women. His first middle school girlfriend bossed him and made him carry her books to and from class and he was a sucker for her, but she broke his heart. She told him she was only using him to get to his older brother Ryan. Peeta battled so much darkness in his life and what he needed was to chase the darkness away and to let the light into his heart. But he couldn’t deny he liked strong women. 

There was something about a strong alpha woman who knew how to get things done, unlike his mother who was passive aggressive, and banged the pots in the kitchen and slammed refrigerator doors. 

He sighed as he worried about tomorrow. He googled Diwali’s greetings and butchered the language as he tried to speak in Hindi. 

Peeta sighed heavily.

Katniss’s mother invited him over the phone. She wanted him to come over before the prayers began. It was an honor because he was Katniss’ boyfriend, someone she chose despite her father trying to get her to date the son of a friend of his. Katniss put her figurative foot down and claimed she was dating Peeta. Her father didn’t want to meet him, but he knew of him. 

So the pressure was on to be perfect. He didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing, especially in front of her family. His hands shook, this was important. He wanted to make a good impression on Katniss’ family, even if her father didn’t like him or the idea of him. Peeta wanted them to like him because, truth be told, his own family didn’t like him. 

Peeta loved his family, but ever since he was little, he knew he didn’t fit into the landscape of his family. He was labeled as the emotional one. He was too irreverent for them. Peeta liked color. He loved to paint. He enjoyed the change in seasons where his family loved one season, summer, because they generated the most money then. 

His family liked one or two flavors. Peeta loved all flavors, spicy ones, bold ones, subtle ones. They hated that he was always pushing to change the menu at the bakery. His childhood room was always the one his parents never showed off, because as a teen he painted the walls of his room every shade of orange. Peeta knew they sighed in relief when he decided to stay in the dorms at Stony Brook. His football scholarship allowed him to have that opportunity. He trained hard, studied hard, and loved hard. 

“Katniss,” her name escaped his lips like fervent prayer and a wish. He loved her, was consumed by her, and he was so overly happy that she invited him to meet her family for Diwali. And now he had so much pent up energy he couldn’t sleep. 

His teammates made fun of him, because he got a goofy lopsided I-got-my-hippopotamus-at-Christmas type grin, whenever Peeta thought of Katniss. He closed his eyes picturing her olive skin, thick straight dark hair braided into a rope, small pert nose, and silvery eyes that were breathtaking. Though it wasn’t her physical parts that made him fall in love. It was the woman who lay beneath the surface.

What made him sit up and take notice of Katniss after he saw her box, and he was out of the yoga room, was that there was a blonde girl at the gym working out. There were these idiots guys making fun of her, calling that poor girl fat, just because she was full figured. Katniss walked straight up to the guys and gave them a scowl full of fire and brimstone, called the girl hot and told her that if she were gay she’d do her in an instant. Then she told the guys that they could jackknife themselves off the roof of the building. Peeta had never seen anything sexier in his life. Katniss was full of fire and she was resplendent more so than the sun. 

His phone buzzed drawing him away from his memories as the message came in.

KATNISS: Why are you still up?

Peeta grinned, his phone betrayed him. In some phones a little dot showed up next to the person when they were on their phone. Katniss must have noticed. 

PEETA: Stalk much.

KATNISS: LOL

Peeta could see those three little dots moving as she wrote a reply. 

For the most part Katniss wasn’t a talker. Unless she was passionate about the topic and then she was a chatterbox.

KATNISS: FUNNY. Seriously, tomorrow is going to be a long day. You need to sleep.

PEETA: Because tomorrow I am going to meet your family.

Peeta could see her rolling her eyes even through the phone.

KATNISS: You don’t have to be nervous. 

PEETA: If you tell me all I have to do is be myself, I swear I am going to come dressed as Buddy the Elf.

KATNISS: Dork.

PEETA: Yes, but I’m your dork.

KATNISS: They’re going to love you.

Peeta sighed. 

PEETA: This is important. I want to make a good impression. Your family is important to you and given that my family…

Peeta sighed. He’d brought Katniss to the bakery to meet his family because they didn’t have time for him. His father was pleasant. His mother, however, spoke loudly and slowly as if Katniss didn’t speak English. Katniss spoke various languages and was extremely intelligent. Her mother wanted her to be a doctor, but Katniss had a passion for the environment. Her major was environmental studies, with a minor in geology. She was brilliant and he felt like the dumb jock.

KATNISS: Your family is fine, well except for Ryan. Someone needs to examine him.

Peeta chuckled. His brother Rye stared at Katniss as if she was Christmas, Easter, and summer vacation all rolled up into one. He then proceeded to flirt with Katniss, by using every campy movie line known to mankind. In typical Rye fashion because he’d done it before to their other brother Lyle. Unfortunately in that instance the girl in question dumped Lyle to go out with Rye. 

He sighed. That was his dysfunctional family. Family gatherings were uncomfortable events. They weren’t exactly nice to one another.

PEETA: I have no excuse for my brother.

Peeta decided to follow his text with a self deprecating joke. A truth, his family thought him the odd one in the family. 

PEETA: But Ryan isn’t the bad apple. I’m not sure you know this, but I am the black sheep of the family.

KATNISS: You mean the sexy one.

A grin spread on his face at her compliment. 

Katniss’ family was conservative, and by extent, so was Katniss. He respected her boundaries and her values.  Family was everything to her and he loved her because of it, Katniss would lay her life on the line for her family. 

PEETA: Have I told you today how much I love you.

KATNISS: No, but I do love to hear you say it.

Peeta pressed the little microphone and recorded his voice, which sounded rougher to his ears than normal.

PEETA: (a voice email) I love you Katniss. I love your mind. I love your kindness. I love how you always talk about your sister Prim. I love the way you adore your dad. I love the way you look up to your mother. I think you are the most beautiful soul. And I am nervous because if you are wonderful, then your family has to be just as great.

He meant every word. 

They’d been dating for the last few months, but they’d been friends for two years. They weren’t easy years because of their schedules in school and the fact that her father had a mild heart attack right after they met. Peeta put himself in the friend zone because that’s what Katniss needed. He didn’t want her to feel pressure to feel romantic toward him when her dad, the most important man in her life, was ill. 

In the end, the bonds of friendship grew to a love so sweet and pure, that it shined out of her silver eyes. The first time she realized the love she held for him was more than friendship left him breathless, like stepping into a world filled with brilliant colors, light and joy. 

KATNISS: (a voice email) I love you too.

Her voice was breathy and filled with her heartfelt emotion.

Peeta couldn’t help but sigh contentedly.

KATNISS: Now as for tomorrow, don’t worry. When they see what a great guy you are, they will love you.

Peeta sighed.

KATNISS: NOW GO TO SLEEP, MELLARK!

PEETA:  Yes ma’am.

He grinned and would have followed her directions, but instead he stood from his bed and went into his suite kitchen. He needed to bake. It was the only thing he knew that would calm him down. He decided to make chocolate using the vegetarian items he purchased in the store. Come the morning he would make the Laddoos he planned to bring with him. In Hindi they were called Laddu but in Trinidad they were known as Laddoo.

Making the chocolate eased his nerves, so he actually got some sleep. In the morning, he showered and set to work on making the Laddoos. By three o’clock he was done, and all he had to do was wrap up the presents. Taking a red ribbon, he tied each box the way he’d done so many times at the bakery. 

His suitemates were gone. No doubt causing trouble somewhere on campus, which gave Peeta the time he needed to get ready. He took out his new suit. Even though Katniss told him he could wear a nice pair of slacks and shirt, Peeta bought a suit that was on sale for the special occasion. 

Taking a deep breath he took the small presents he had for her family. They weren’t necessary, but he wanted to make a good impression. He gathered up the Laddoos, the chocolate, the flowers - marigolds he sourced at the local home depot, and the paintings he made of her family made from the memory of the pictures she’d shown him. 

He drove, heading to the Everdeen home in Mount Sinai. The cottage-like house looked like something out of a movie or TV show: warm, inviting, like a real home, one filled with love, and not pretend.

As he walked up, he could hear laughter, genuine laughter, followed by singing and joy. Running a hand through his blond wavy locks he took a deep breath. “Okay Mellark, just be yourself,” he whispered, as he stood in front of the door.  

He raised his hand to knock on the door and his breath caught at the man standing there looking more like a navy seal instead of a physicist. This was Katniss’ dad. His chrome eyes were hard and they took him apart, much the way a defensive end could read a play and pick it apart while holding their defense line.  

“Happy Diwali.” Peeta tried to say confidently but his voice cracked. He could feel himself sweating.

Her father raised an eyebrow. “You are Peeta Mellark.”

Peeta nodded.

“Rahul!” A statuesque woman with blonde hair and pale blue eyes swatted Katniss’ father’s arm. He watched her sneak around him, dressed in a traditional red sari with gold thread. “Please behave.” Mrs. Everdeen quietly gave her husband a look. Her golden bangles clinked as she placed her hand dramatically on her hip. Peeta was glad Katniss had gone over the different fashions. He studied each one because he would do anything for Katniss. 

Peeta watched as her father’s hard analytical eyes softened the moment he beheld Katniss’ mother. Peeta could see how Katniss’ parents were a unit of one. They were in love and either one would fight the shadows and all of the evil in the world for their other half.  “Anjali.”

“I am Katniss’ mother, this is her father,” her pale eyes sparkled. “Please come in, we were waiting for your arrival. Come in,” she ushered him.

The home was two stories, to the left a halfway with rooms, to the right a living room, dining area, and a den to the far back. The house was decorated with warm rich colors, but everything was tied around the family, as pictures dotted the walls. There were lights everywhere hanging from the walls, the clay diya’s sat on the mantel.  Peeta stood in front of a picture of Katniss on her father’s shoulders, her twin braids flowing, her eyes crinkled in pure happiness. 

“Ohhhh you’re cute,” a younger, but deeper voice than Katniss’ said with impish mischief. 

Primrose took after Katniss’ mother, with the flaxen hair and the pale blue eyes.  Katniss explained that her mother was of British descent, while her father’s family, although sporting a European name, was from India. His great-grandparents came to Trinidad, fell in love with the island and stayed. 

Her mother walked away from her very wealthy family back in Trinidad to marry Katniss’ father. It was a little like they were the original Romeo and Julliet. 

His parents got together because his dad knocked up his mom.

“Primrose!” Mrs. Everdeen admonished. 

“What,” Prim said. Her pale blue eyes were inquisitive as she walked around him. The way Katniss talked about her sister, Peeta had expected a little kid, but Prim was as tall as he was. Her loose  pajama-like trousers that narrowed at her ankles, called shalwar, swooshed around as she made her round. Her red kameez, a flowing tunic with intricate gold patterns reminded Peeta of the pattern Mrs. Everdeen wore on her sari.

Prim was everything Katniss was not. She was a bold bright bubbly girl, who at this moment was making sure he was the real deal and not some mindless jerk. He stood, letting her because it was important that her family liked him. He wanted to be accepted. He felt his face flame up under the scrutiny. 

“I understand why my boring sister is constantly sighing.”

Peeta grinned, then he said, “Oh these are for you.” He gave them the presents. The flowers, the chocolate, and the sweetened chickpea Laddoos he made by hand for them.

“Oh these are fragrant, where did you purchase them?”

“He made them.” The soft voice that came behind him made his heart rate triple.

Peeta turned around and there stood Katniss wearing an emerald green lenghas. She had explained what it looked like, but at this moment, his brain that was always filled with words was momentarily empty, vanquished by her beauty. He swallowed, mouth slightly ajar. His eyes darted from the perfection of her face with those silvery eyes that captivated him, and the peek of dark hair that was hidden by the sari. 

Katniss held a shiny brass plate, she called a Tarrier, but in Hindi it was known as a Thali, containing coconut, almonds, and other sweets. Katniss told him the plate belonged to her great-grandmother Veronica. When her mother married her father, her great-grandmother gave it to her insisting it should go to her first born. He swore for a second he could see a miniature Katniss with his eyes staring up at him and holding the Tarrier. 

“He made them?” Primrose asked, Peeta could hear the intense curiosity in her sister’s voice. 

“His family are bakers, and Peeta is an amazing cook.”

“Really,” her father said, and his voice, the way he said that one word snapped Peeta out of his hazy fog. 

“Ah,” he nervously said. “I made her cheese buns,” Peeta felt the heat rising from his neck and caused those red splotches that his brothers made fun of. 

“Cheese buns,” her father repeated. 

“When you were in the hospital, daddy,” her eyes did not hide the pain of recalling those days. “Peeta noticed I wasn’t eating and cajoled me into eating cheese buns,” Katniss words were so soft. “He was the friend I leaned on for support when…” her voice trailed.

Peeta watched her father’s face take a look of adoring tenderness at his eldest, and when his eyes turned to Peeta they weren’t as frosty as they had been. 

“He even took me to temple to pray,” Katniss whispered.

“In Selden?” 

“Yes, daddy,” Katniss quietly said.

“Rahul,” Katniss’ mother chided. She cupped his cheeks, “Such a nice young man. Did you make the chocolate as well?” 

Peeta nodded, his eyes went back to her father. He couldn’t mess this up. 

Her mother smiled serenely, then her eyes lit with happiness as if she made a startling connection. “Oh! Pundit Sharma was right; they were destined in the stars.”

“Star crossed lovers just like you and mom,” Prim said. 

Her father cut his eyes away. 

“Oh my, these chocolates….” Prim moaned. 

“Primrose!” Her mother admonished. 

“What, he said they were for us,” Prim shrugged, plopping a chocolate in her mouth. “I’d say he’s golden. So what does a cheese bun taste like?” 

“Primrose, really, must you think only of your stomach?” Katniss shook her head. 

“Girls,” their father said in a stern tone of voice. “It’s near sunset. Upstairs with the lot of you. I swear corralling a dozen baby ducks would be easier.” 

The women headed upstairs. Peeta wasn’t sure, but her father swept a hand for him to follow him upstairs.

Peeta wasn’t sure what he was expecting, hopefully like something out of Khabi Kushi Khabi Gham. They had a small altar where he watched all of the women present the offerings and began to bow their heads. He stood behind quietly observing, but when Katniss began to pray it was like a song and her words that he didn’t understand wrapped around his heart and his lashes fluttered closed and a single tear fell down his face. Song after song her voice combined with that of her father, her mother and sister caused him to realize just how much he wanted to be part of this family, to be loved and accepted. 

He too prayed for a family to want him, to be needed. 

Peeta was so wrapped up in the moment when it was over he opened his eyes to find her mother standing before him with trembling lips, and watery blue eyes.

“Bend down son,” her father said with warmth in his voice. “She’s going to honor you by putting the sindoor on your forehead.” He pointed to his forehead, though his eyes had completely lost the frost. They were filled with admiration and the same warmth he had in his voice. Her father looked at Katniss and nodded as if giving her his blessings. 

Unsure if what he had just seen was real, his eyes went to Katniss,  but Prim said, “Go ahead Peeta, my father has just fallen for you too.” Her voice squeaked with that enthusiasm only a teenager could have. She wiped the tears from her face as well. 

Peeta bent down slightly. Mrs. Everdeen’s hand slipped to the Tarrier and with her ring finger she pressed it into the red dust Katniss’ father called sindoor.

The press of her finger was light. “When my daughter marries you. You will sprinkle this sindor over the part in her hair to symbolize her marriage to you.”

Peeta’s eyes flew to her father who nodded. “Welcome to the family son.” He clasped his back and said. “Now let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

Peeta couldn’t help but grin. He gazed at Katniss who came to him, her smile shy. He was going to follow them, but katniss put her hand on his, then stepped up and placed a small peck on his cheek. Then winked sassily. “I told you they would love you.” 

And like that, his prayers were answered; he now had a family. 

Years later, when he stood in the same position watching his little girl singing the puja, holding the brass tarrier, alongside Katniss. Just as in that memory from years ago he listened to Katniss voice blend with their daughter. Their voices blended in with his father-in-law Rahul, Primrose and her soon to be fiancé. Peeta was grateful that his prayers were answered, the darkness was swept away and light filled his soul.  And he was granted the family he always wanted.

[praphit]

Mortal Kombat: Earthrealm’s Crappiest Fighters

I think we can all agree that the old school Mortal Kombat theme song ("Techno Syndrome") is one of the best songs of all time. Well... by "best" I mean annoyingly spellbinding. It kinda gets in you; especially if you've been following Mortal Kombat from the beginning of their run since the early 90's. "Dun Dun Dun Dun - DUNDUN (gong)... FIGHT!"  

Then, it be like "Kano" and you be dancing "Liu Kang" and you start shakin it. Then, it gets to "Sub Zero" and you're like "Ahhhh Shit! Here it comes!"  And then "Sonya" And everybody and their mama shouts "MORTAL KOMBAT" I'm telling you, back in the day, every time that song played - here comes the dancing AND fighting. Then, the cops would show up wherever the song is being played, and they'd dance a bit too, before they started looking for black people to shoot - it was a great time had by all.

This song demanded a rebooted movie from the classic (that's right, I said CLASSIC) 1995 film.

In the first movie, it was Liu Kang and a bunch of losers. I'm mean, just look at them.

You don't fear anyone there except for Liu; not even white Raiden (at the top).

With this 2021 reboot, we've got the same ol tournament plot - something about a martial arts tourney to decide who rules all of the worlds.

There's something about the MK logo appearing on people; it could appear out of know where - on your arm, face, butt, who knows??

Of course the bad guys have been cheating, and once again the ones chosen to fight for earth are Liu Kang and a bunch of losers.

Look how badass he is - you think making fire come out your body is easy?! This Liu mutha *uckin KANG!

Granted, You've got Raiden 

- with  the correct race and ethnicity this time, but he's kinda slow. This whole movie, you'll have fight scenes, people are dying. The ones not dying are screaming for help, and Raiden never shows up until those people who were crying out are also dead.

You've got Kung Lao, 

but he's kind of an asshole.

So, yeah, really just Liu again.

His team of losers:

Kano 

- Imagine if fate chose Jeffrey Dahmer to defend earth. Yep, that's pretty much what we have here.

Jax  

(on the left)

- some Arsenio Hall lookin guy who's about to have his arms destroyed (we learn this from the trailer) Yeah, so fate chose a guy with no arms to protect Earth! Well done.

Sonya 

- while everyone else has powers of fire, ice, lightning, she's got pretty pink rings that shoot out of her hands.

That's her tough face. Like she's saying "Leggo my Eggo."

And Cole 

- who specializes in getting his ass beat. Even his super power revolves around getting his ass beat.

Ladies and gentlemen, Earthrealm’s mightiest fighters! - here to save us!

There is plenty of action throughout this movie. I loved it!

Some of my favorite scenes:

Scorpion vs Sub Zero

From the very beginning, there's gore, blood, and guts! Sub has been after Scorpion, and in the process, comes after Scorp's family.

Can I just say that I've seen this whole enemy of your past comes after a reformed assassin before - the reformed badass assassin's family is always so meek. Life Tip, kids: If you're going to be a professional ass-kicker, then you need to be with a life partner who can defend themselves. I'm not saying they need to be a family of killers, but get them to take ONE Karate class, at least!

Goro is also very cool-looking (2021 version on the left)!

Way more menacing than the first time around (95 version on right) when he let some dude punch him in the balls to end the bout. I understand that it happens, but... you don't see Thanos or Darkseid getting punched in the man zone and looking all goofy afterwards.

The fight scenes involving Liu Kang and  Kung Lao were awesome!

Sub Zero in general was the main menace. He is haunting.

The violence. The gore. The campy parts as well, made this movie very enjoyable.

However, the third act kinda slows down. At some point, Raiden realizes "Wait, our team is just Liu Kang and a bunch a losers." And he has everyone camp-out and reflect... and drink. This is when the movie loses steam for me.

It's as if the action, the already next to terrible, campy dialogue, and "plot" run out of gas.

I mean, you have the typical "Hey, guys, let's work together!" type of thing that happens:

Arsenio Hall grew arms, Sonya tries to convince us that her pink rings are cool, Cole... well, is still getting his ass beat. But, everything gets a lil lazy. The ending fights go by too quickly. And the very last scene feels like everyone is tired, and so they just wanna go home.

We all know that evil is not going to win here, but I feel like it could have had it not been so lazy. Shang Tsung (the main villain/ evil sorcerer), supposedly having all this power just rolls out. It's like he looked at his watch and was like "Well, it's been fun, but I gotta get back to the wife. Peace!"

Plus, it was supposed to be a tournament... there was no tournament in this film. In fact, you had characters kill people and shout out things like "fatality" and "flawless victory" themselves, which is kinda weird.

Other than this laziness, I loved it! The action and fan-service leading up to the lazy third is still entertaining enough to outshine any lack one may feel towards the end. Again, I really enjoyed it! - And if you're a die-hard MK fan, you will too! - it's really made for you.

Grade: generous, entertaining B

One thing about all of these characters that kinda bothered me was the fact that they're all so comfortable with killing.

There's a scene where someone gets chopped in half, blood splatters all over them, and they're just like "Meh, on to the next." It's a tournament full of psychopaths!

I wonder if when the sequel comes out (and there will be one) if they'll address a lil of this, shamefully pull back, and introduce some "Friendships" 

[totallypathet]

Episode Seven

I am being very inconsistent with my breakdowns this season. Both with Drag Race and in general 😂

Anyway, the reading challenge! We love the reading challenge. Nearly everyone had at least 1 good roast, except for Miss Elliott. I dont know what she was trying to do, but none of it worked. On the plus side though, Gottmik was hilarious? I just wasn't expecting that from her, but I love it. Honestly though I think my favourite was Olivia Lux's "Kandy Ho...wait, I mean Kandy is a hoe" that was so funny! Rosé and Denali were also really funny, but I kind of loved everyone else's reads for Rosé, I feel like she brought out the best in people 😂

I wasn't super excited for Bossy Rossy to come back. I just think improv is *so* hard, and it's really easy to be tripped up. Having said that, I actually really enjoyed this episode. I felt like all the scenarios were just so ridiculous that actually it worked in everyone's favour.

1. Denali

Denali was so funny this week! I was not expecting physical comedy from her and Rosé, but they absolutely killed it. The outfits and the voices were properly giving me Jerry Springer, and omg PREGNANTE just killed me! They were actually genuinely funny!

And her look this week...I actually gasped when she turned the corner. It was such a beautiful look, and I really felt that like grand chandelier thing she was going for. I loved it, and I think Denali should have been top 3 this week instead of Kandy. The judges are sleeping on Denali and I don't get it. I think she's great!

2. Elliott with Two Ts

I barely even want to talk about Elliott this week. Nothing she did was funny. Nothing she did this week was enjoyable. She was bad in the sketch. The runway look was ugly and tacky. I'm bored. She wasn't even that good in the lipsync, I do not understand why she's still there.

I mean, I feel for her with her struggle with depression, that's really hard, and I know that it does isolate you from people, and I understand why she's been very detached from the rest of the cast. I feel for her, and I really hope she has a good support system around her; but her performance this week (and every other week) was still bad.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was actually so funny this week. She really was that like soft spoken, condescending, hand gestures, "active listening" faux-psychologist; I loved it. I really bought the character, I thought she was funny, she worked really well with Olivia, and also that look? The pink suit? Amazing. Also she had so many little throwaway mime one liners that were so clever! She was kind of unfortunate in that Olivia was really the standout performer in that group, and that other groups also performed really well, because I think she was a real contender for top 3 this week.

I looooved Gottmik's runway. The big anal bead hair piece? Amazing. And the dress being all that one colour, but with the texture of the beads and the latex? Perfect. And the way she painted her face! I just loved it, it was beads in a really unconventional way, and I love that about Gottmik, she always brings her perspective. The only thing, and it is such a teeny tiny thing, is that I wish the shoes had had more of a "round" feeling? Like everything else felt like latex balls and then the shoes were just like red pumps. I wish they'd been more like those McQueen heels Gaga wore, that were really rounded? It's such a small thing though, like the look was perfect, I'm just being super picky!

4. Kandy Muse

I dont really understand why Kandy was top 3 this week. I do like that she tried something different, and I like that she was aiming for this very cold, Paris Hilton type thing, but I just don't think she went far enough with it. The sketch as a whole was funny, but for me the humour came from Symone.

The look this week though. Kandy Muse has never looked better. She looked amazing! That big hat, with the big fur stole, and the beads just dripping off everything, it was so perfect. I just loved it.

5. Lala Ri

I actually don't think Lala was that bad this week! Was she utterly hilarious in her performance? No, but improv is hard, and she gave it her absolute best. I actually thought she was pretty funny, I loved the pregnancy belly being totally the wrong skin colour, I thought the trust fall thing was a really funny idea, I dont think she did too badly! Also, there was a moment right before the trust fall where she was counting Rosé in, and she just went "one, FALL", and that was so much funnier than they gave it credit for. For me, it was a safe performance.

I also really liked her look! It immediately gave me beads, I loved the kind of carnivale presentation she gave, I enjoyed it! Okay, the body suit had a rip in it, but sometimes shit happens when you're putting on a garment okay? I forgive the rip. I do get that, okay, it's a body suit with basically a beaded bikini, I see that. But honestly, I just don't think anything Lala did this week was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I just felt safe to me.

Lala didn't deserve to go this week. She was better than Elliott in the challenge, her runway look was better than Eliott's, and she beat Elliott in the lipsync. I do not understand the judging on this show. Bottom 2 should have been Utica and Elliott, and Elliott should have gone.

6. Olivia Lux

Olivia made me so happy this week. I mean, she makes me happy every week, I am fully an Olivia Stan, but oh my god. She killed it this week! She said like 3 words the whole time, but I could barely take my eyes off her! When they were talking through parts in the work room, I was ao worried about her, and I was so concerned that she'd fade into the background because she couldn't talk, but holy shit she was so funny! She had the energy, she went so over the top with her actions, I was not at all expecting that slapstick type funny from her but she delivered. Olivia's performance was absolutely my favourite this week, I was just so blown away by her.

Also, that runway look was amazing! I loved her interpretation of beads, it was so cute, and so fun, and she really embodied that kind of pre-teen joy and care-free spirit. I just loved it. It seems like she's worked a lot with Mondo Guerra on her runway looks this season, which I live, because I adore Mondo, and every week I can't wait to see what she's wearing!

7. Rosé

I was really impressed with Rosé! Her and Denali were so funny together, and Rosé in particular was really funny with "Jared", like she never forgot that there was meant to be an invisible boyfriend next to her; she was holding his hand, she looked at him like he was really there, it was amazing. I was genuinely really impressed with Rosé this week.

Where I felt like she fell down a little bit was with her runway. Was it cute? Absolutely. Was it amazing? No. It just didn't give me anything, I didn't get a story, or a character, or a feeling, it was just "oh, that looks good". Which is fine, but it doesn't win challenges, you know?

8. Symone

Deboooorah! I loved Symone this week. I actually loved that their sketch wasn't massive high energy and screaming and yelling, because that wasn't the characters they were given. They did such an amazing job of being the child stars crying on Oprah's sofa type characters, and I actually loved it. Also, the candle thing was hysterical, Symone holding a candle that says "desperation" and crying was just so funny to me. She absolutely sold me the character, I was really getting a Real Housewives moment where they're like "I'm starting my own business where I'm going to make my own candles!" And then they get really emotional about it. I loved it so much, she was hilarious this week.

And Symone's look! My flatmate and I were literally applauding in our front room. It was perfect. It was beautifully made, all the proportions were perfect, the colour palette was gorgeous, the attention to detail was everything, I loved it so much. AND SHE HAD HER NAME IN HER HAIR! The beads in her hair spelled out SYMONE. Everything about it was perfect.

I really couldn't pick this week whether Symone or Olivia was going to win, and honestly I didn't mind either way. They were both just so incredible.

9. Tina Burner

You guys. I am bored of Tina Burner. I can't believe I'm saying it either. But she walked in being really like campy and fun, and then just sort of flatlined. I didn't think she was that funny this week. Even next to Elliott, the least funny queen in the whole line up, she didn't seem like the funny one. I am disappointed. The only bit of their sketch that was funny was them fighting with the huge ass and tits. That was just so ridiculous that it was funny.

I'll tell you what else, I've already forgotten what she wore on the runway. I watched this episode less than 24 hours ago, and yet I've got to go back and watch it again so I remember Tina. And then I remembered why it didn't stick in my mind. I don't know what she was thinking but...she's lucky the judges liked her challenge performance. Also, it looked like a worse version of Crystal Methyd's entrance look with some beads stuck on. Didn't get it, didnt like it, still waiting for Tina to wear something good on the runway.

The one thing I will say about Tina this week is that we really saw her be a human with Elliott, and I really loved that. That was the first time this season that I've really liked Tina. I appreciate that she gave Elliott that pep talk, and that she said that thing in her confessional about being a bit judgmental and feeling guilty about it, I really appreciated that, and I feel like we saw a real person. I want more of that!

10. Utica

Utica... I don't think she's long for this competition, I'm afraid. She literally started this week saying she's a scene stealer, and she does improv regularly, and she was really excited for this challenge...what happened? I was lost, during her whole performance. First of all, she was supposed to be Olivia's mum, hadn't seen her for 20 years, but she came out looking like a 19 year old? I think she was aiming for that like "mutton dressed as lamb" type look, those mom's who are like "me and my daughter always get confused for sisters!" thing, but she didn't go far enough with it. It just didn't work. And then the Starbucks thing? Didn't get that either. The one thing I will give her is I loved that she shushed Olivia when Olivia was like copying the hand gestures in a really mocking way, I thought that was so funny. But other than that... Utica should have been lipsyncing this week, honestly. She wasn't funny. Where were the jokes??

The only things that saved her this week was the look. It was stunning. I dont really know what else to say about it, because it was just gorgeous. It was beautiful, but a bit twisted and freaky, and tragic all in one. Stunning.

The other thing I want to say about this week is that moment when they were doing makeup, and Kandy was being Maury, and Lala was running around the workroom having just been told Tina was not the father of her children, followed by Mik the camera operator and Elliott the sound tech? Hilarious. That was the funniest bit of the whole episode, I was creasing 👌👌

For me, the top 2 of the season are Olivia and Symone. I've thought that since the very first episode, and honestly, the others are great (mostly), but to me they just aren't on the same level as Olivia and Symone. They're just both amazing, they're so funny, and so talented, and incredible performers, and absolute Stars on the runway.

[anokaiwritingblog]

Finally completed my short story assignment. My classmate tore into it and call it confusing and that I should just throw it away but I still love it :)

As preface, this still is not a complete story. I need to heavily emphasize that it’s just the beginning, middle, and end. All the connection bits aren’t included since this is just a showcase. I distinctly separated it using a boarder. So, it will be confusing if you read it straight as if it’s the complete work. I needed to say this since a lot of people didn’t understand the formatting and why I should redo it.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…​

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked onto the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin as acceptance of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadows, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women looked exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven women, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the trees. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her side, the woman could hear the reactions from the other women who listen to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, some snickered at the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their stories.

           “Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

           “Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin for this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with organizations ran by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen, dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be the main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game were out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at this idiotic situation. Deciding that it was best to keep her thoughts hidden now, Mia turned her focus on surveying the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the maidens here, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the woman next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast-man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He attempted to take it, if only to escape but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyway.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty-handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him was ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the woman next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backward on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks, kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV.

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed glasses. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a doornail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini-games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double-check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peeking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No, wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka-dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he looked like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity with her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilted her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with an equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he was on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw for an arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombie movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights for a living, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other women who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last-minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a brain cell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario was insulting all on its own.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the main leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause a divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Deadweight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he’s hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story that would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

“Enough! I’m done with this game,” the Head Nun said, “Have it your way, Two. We spent far too long on this. Keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ceremony. Or else.” Giddy that she came out victorious, Mia gave a pair of thumbs up and nudged Ash to signal that their partner was now secured. Though he was satisfied knowing that he wasn’t going to return to the void anytime soon, he felt like he lost just as much as the Head Nun in this one-sided deal.

“Next summon!”

Yelling at the top of her lungs, the Head Nun expected the ritual to continue once order was returned. Yet no one followed her directions. No one followed her directions? Scanning the crowd, the Head Nun noted that the count doubled during the back and forth she shared with Mia. “Can anyone explain why you aren’t summoning?”

“Um… we- I mean, the rest of us Maidens decided to go ahead and uh. Summon our knights,” Six said. Her voice quivered in being the one to speak on behalf of the other five women. Her silhouette could be seen wringing her hands for a moment before her knight took her hands to stop the nervous tick. The new silhouette was distinctly female. “We weren’t sure when you’ll finish talking with Two. So… yeah.”

The Head Nun’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates at the revelation. The… the sacred ritual. These women not only disrespected it but treated it as some trivial business. This wasn’t the DMV. There was a natural order to this that was vital to follow. A strong sense of ‘wrongness’ flourished in her mind and the Head Nun can only trace the source to a pair. The Head Nun’s eyes focused on the second team. No, not the team but the maiden in the team.

Doing her best not to point and laugh at the nun, Mia held her mouth with one hand and the other used to tug on Ash’s soaking wet shirt. Nodding patiently, Ash was agreeing that it was a funny show, but he was doing his best to escape Mia’s grasp. These two… as the nun thought, they were a troublesome pair, yet she was limited on what she could do against them. For the most part, she was meant to be an observer. She needed time to think about what to do with these two morons.

Waving her hand, the Head Nun dismissed the group. “Leave. Since everyone received their knights, there’s no reason why I have to hold you all any longer,” she said, “You will all return within the following week for training once you familiarized yourself with your knight.” The Head Nun overlooks the teams but ended up stopping on the second team once again.

“Awesome. I love when class ends early- but you haven’t exactly shown us the exit,” Mia said. She waved her hand wildly to gestured to the enclosed garden. With a Cheshire cat grin, Mia was ready for round three of verbal war with the Head Nun, but the nun was done with the antics. Raising her hand, it appeared that the nun was going to point to an exit but instead, a large gust of wind made an appearance. With a fierce blow, Mia was blown backward and fell ungracefully into the lake with a startled scream.

A flurry of colors passed her by as she sank into the depths. Like a dream, Mia found her limbs feeling sluggish, but the feeling didn’t last long. As everything came to an end and she was left in the dark, the faint sound of her alarm could be heard. Sitting up, Mia’s first act in waking up in reality was stopping her phone’s alarm and putting on her glasses. There were no questions to be asked. Mia woke up in her home. It was obvious the moment she felt her bedsheets and heard her all too familiar alarm. By the Seaside, if any reader was interested in knowing.

“Morning, Ash,” Mia said. She let out a yawn while giving the newest member of her household a wave. Shivering in his wet outfit, Ash was standing at the foot of Mia’s bed. His arms were crossed, and he was glaring at Mia who was taking everything with stride. She let out a lazy stretch before getting up to get her partner a much-needed towel. Living in a small studio, Mia only took five steps to reach the linen closet and only one good throw to pass a fluffy white towel to Ash. He caught it with ease and made quick use of it to dry himself. “You like bagels? Coffee?” Mia asked him. She took several steps to the kitchen area to grab herself a cup of water. “Or do you not eat? You look human but god knows if you function like a human. Do you need to shit?”

“You could at least act startled with me being here,” Ash said, refusing to answer the questions. Mia was in mid-sip of her water when told this. She put a finger up to signal Ash to wait. Putting down the glass, the glass clinking on the artificial wooden counter; Mia took a deep breath before pressing her hands to her cheeks and opened her mouth wide to mimic a surprised expression.

“Omg. A hot guy in my apartment? Holy guacamole, it wasn’t just a dream. My normal life will never be the same. Aaaaaaa,” Mia said. Deadpanned and devoid of any emotion, it was a patronizing act which only annoyed Ash.

“Okay. I get it. Here I thought my worst luck was not getting enchant with the anti-water spell and waking up with gaps in my memory,” Ash said. Suddenly, Mia jumped up and yelled out ‘bingo’. Startled, Ash stared at the eccentric women before looking away in fear that her weirdness would rub off on him.

“Fucking knew it. Amnesiac or plagued by memories. It’s always one of those two,” Mia said. She was doing another strange victory dance though it quickly ended with Mia apologizing. “Uh, sorry. Sensitive topic. But if it’s any condolence, you’ll get your memories back.”

“You’re something else entirely,” Ash said. The only words that came to his mind.

“I’m just your average manic pixie dream women,” Mia said. It was a joke that Ash didn’t understand but he got an odd sense that Mia wasn’t joking. He wanted to ask her what she meant but Mia commanded the direction of the conversation as she asked him a question he couldn’t ignore.

“Pop quiz: I want to know your opinion on this competition and if you really want to fight. Personally, I don’t give a shit about this competition,” Mia asked, At first, Mia was excited at the idea of magic and multiple realms being real. Her dry and ordinary life was finally turned upside down and she had no complaints. Life was that boring and she was jealous of novel protagonists going on these adventures just to bitch and moan about how rough their life was. But the best part in all of this: her summoned was an attractive guy. What more could she ask for? But then the responsibilities Mia had to do surfaced back in her mind. Holy Maiden lessons and some sort of honor match between the summons. Truth be told, the task at hand didn’t seem too difficult. It was simply a matter of “Eh, do I feel like doing this right now?” It was one thing that the fate of the world rests on her shoulders… but it wasn’t. There was a “chance” that she was the Holy Maiden. She isn’t the Holy Maiden, just a candidate. Which meant her other competitors could be that women.

Knowing that fact, should Mia really bother? “If I lose and someone else wins, the world is saved, and we continue with our merry way. If I win, I do things “my way” and the world is saved. With this logic, I don’t need to participate. It’s a win-win situation for me,” she said, explaining her thought process to Ash. The other six women seemed capable enough to come out on top and reseal the fallen god. It isn’t rocket science but magic. Mia wasn’t really needed for it. There were no pros or cons on if she participated or not. They both have their advantages with only one con each. If she goes through and lost, then she wasted all that time she could have used to play video games. If she doesn’t go through, then she risks someone unqualified becoming the Holy Maiden. Mia didn’t even need to question if she was qualified or not because clearly, she was the best choice out of everyone. Duh.

Mia pointed at Ash. “Which brings you into the equation, Ashley. What do you want from this entire exchange?” she asked him. Mia hopped onto the counter, crossing one leg over the other. She was smiling but it didn’t match her eyes. Cold and predatory, this wasn’t the same woman who was cracking jokes or making light of the situation. It suddenly hit Ash that he doesn’t even know her name. “Are you hoping to gain back your memories? Remain in this world? I can help you with that… but is that conviction strong enough for what I want?” Mia continued her interrogation, “Maybe it’s strong enough to fight off the other knights. Carry me to victory. But is it enough to kill a fallen god? Why don’t you tell me if it’s so, Ashley.”

                                                         ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

           At the corner of Main Street and Jefferson Avenue sits a quaint Korean café which was cutely named ‘Seoul-ful Coffee’. It was packed with a flavorful blend of elderly Asians and trendsetting youngsters trying to appear cultured in an Americanized location. Several posters covered the windows with the bright red poster that reads ‘illy’ dominating the sights. There were tacky Asian decorations, most of which aren’t strictly Korean such as drawings of anime characters on the wall or Chinese scroll art but to the common layman, they wouldn’t know there’s a difference between the cultures.

           Mia sat next to the entrance with a coffee in hand and a half-eaten cake before her. It was her fifth cup and second slice. She’s been there all day judging by the piles of finished piles of homework that were nicely stacked on the booth. The day has been going well, all things considered. She made a hefty gamble in exposing her identity to the other women in hope that they’ll consider the alliance she proposed the night before. She understood the risk both sides were putting by going against the Holy Order.

On one hand, Mia was the most dangerous competitor in this game as she already knocked out two teams while the others were still getting their shit together. Making an alliance with her only to turn out that it was a trap would only be disastrous. On the off chance that Mia was correct: that the Holy Order has been sacrificing the maidens to the fallen god to prevent his re-awakening then they need to accept her offer in working together. The strange deaths of One and Six weighed on everyone’s minds.

           Mia was concerned that the group would disregard her evidence due to fear after the first two hours of waiting produced no results. It was a smart decision to have Ash go on a walk while she was left behind as the women began stopping by to show their interest in teaming up to kill the fallen god. They exchanged information and Mia explained how to avoid being dragged into Eden to avoid the Head Nun. With three women down, there was only one woman left to step in. Ironically, it was the seventh maiden and she was the last to come as evening painted the café’s beige walls orange.

           Hearing the familiar chime of the front door opening, Mia placed down her pen as she made eye contact with the final woman. Left-handed, just as Mia initially noted when she saw the women’s silhouette for the first time. Seven was abnormally beautiful despite trying to act demure and average. She stuck out like a sore thumb in front of Mia, who was the antithesis of this woman. Messy brown hair pulled into a bun and wore a band tee, Seven came off as the sort of woman who wanted to be “the cool women”. These two women are a reflection of a self-insert Mary Sue and the average fanfic reader. How funny they’re meant to be universal puppets yet two people that no one could ever be.

           “You made it in time, Seven. I was getting worried for a minute,” Mia said, gesturing to the seat before her to offer the newcomer a spot to sit. Wordlessly, Seven took a seat and stared at Mia. It was awkward, for the lack of better terms and Mia wondered if Seven lacked any social skills. “You want anything? Coffee? Boba? They have some good matcha rolls-“ Mia said, making some small talk to get her fellow competitor to stop looking at her with a vendetta. “Can I ask for your name? You’re here for the alliance, right?”

           “No.”

           “Uh… no to the name or the alliance?”

           Mia set aside her things and clean her glasses in the chance that she’ll get dragged into a catfight. Though she wants to give Seven the benefit of the doubt, Mia got the sense that Seven was the type to see other women as the enemy. Not like Mia had any room to comment since she has been antagonizing the other women since the beginning but that was more for the sake of being a competitor. In the end, Mia much rather work with other women instead of being against them. Misogynistic women against other women was so early 2000’s.

           “No to the alliance. I want to talk about Ashely.”

           God damn it.

           God fucking damn it.

           “Ugh, are you serious? I’m trying to have this story pass the Bechdel test,” Mia said, cursing up a storm in her mind that Seven was wasting their time on something trivial. Gesturing to the door, Mia was dismissing the seventh maiden to leave. “Listen, I’m not going to police you on what you want to say about my knight but that’s between you and him,” Mia said, “He’s walking over at Clovers Park right now, okay… whatever your name is.”

           “Lily.”

           “Yeah, okay. So, Lily. Please kindly leave and talk with Ash like a pair of adults with functioning brain cells. If my name ever comes up, you can call me. But try not to drag me into this.”

           “I need to talk to you first,” Lily said, insisting on talking about the missing party who couldn’t vouch for himself. Reluctant, Mia was planning to excuse herself from the situation but realized that it was for the best she listened to what Lily had to say about him. After all, Ash was her knight and by that logic, she was responsible for whatever mess he dragged in. Placing her hands on the table, Mia nodded her head to signal for Lily to continue. “I want you to give me him.”

           What…?

           What the fuck?

           “Are you-?!  Okay. Hold on. First of all, Ash isn’t an object to be traded and secondly, this sounds like something between you and him. I’ve been saying this since the beginning,” Mia said. Her voice rosed for a moment out of annoyance, but it quickly settled when she realized that Lily wanted her to get angry for Ash’s sake. Mia placed a hand to her forehead, too many thoughts crossing her mind but the disbelief in Lily’s audacity to pull something like this when people are dying is insane. The one time she wished that her predictions were wrong. Mia recognized that Lily had a bit of a crush on Ash ever since she noticed how the seventh team always wanted to spar with them in Eden. It was clear that Lily was connected to Ash’s past, but was that a good reason to stir shit up? Thank god she warned Ash about this possibility beforehand.

“Can you think of this rationally for a moment? As I said, I don’t care if there’s something between you and him. But asking me to give him up during a vital moment like this is both stupid and highly unethical.”

           “You never really cared about ethics until now,” Lily said.

           “That’s because there are some morals that are just unrealistic and that society placed on the disenfranchised to keep them tamed,” Mia said, quick with her counter. “I still have some core values, one being to not to be a piece of shit to my fellow man when I can help it.” Mia gave Lily a disappointed look before shaking her head. She wasn’t sure what this women’s case was against her. Ever since the beginning, Lily did her best to isolate Mia from the rest of the competition. Granted, Mia deserved it for being the massive bitch throughout the contest, but she was the first to dismiss the undeniable evidence of the Holy Order officials killing Six. “I’m trying to help you, but I don’t understand what you’re playing at. Trust me when I say that having a crush on a guy isn’t a proper reason to nuke everything we’re working for.”

           “You wouldn’t understand. He’s my soulmate.”

           Mia’s eyes rolled so far into her skull that she could watch her own soul escape through the top of her head. She didn’t want to be mean, but Mia can’t deny it any longer. This bitch is stupid-stupid. Flabbergasted that Lily could say something so ridiculous with a straight face, Mia’s mouth opened and close as no words came to mind. She laughed for a split second before covering her mouth. “No!” she exclaimed, a laugh escaping her throat. Immediately, Mia shut her mouth and continued this process several times until she was finally composed. “I mean- I get it. Emotions. Crazy things they are. I get it. I’m not invalidating your strong, uh, feelings for Ash,” Mia said, “But, uh… how do I put it. I can tell your frontal lobes are currently off because of this passion. But you don’t need to worry about me in this picture. Ash? All yours. Just… I can’t exactly give him to you as how you’re asking.”

           “I’ll trade you my knight, Erik. You saw him before- I think he fits your taste,” Lily said. It was like she never heard Mia’s words. She pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture of her knight to show to Mia. Erik was the definition of a knight in shining armor with well-kept blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was attractive but Mia preferred the lonely-looking Ash more. Mia placed her hand on the phone and pushed it back.

           “Looks aren’t everything. It’s… look, I’ll do the trade as long as Ash expresses that he wants to do so. But I rather not since the situation right now is kinda intense,” Mia said.

           “Do you want money? I’ll pay you whatever you want- I have a blank check,” Lily continued. She pulled out a wrinkled check now and push it towards Mia to pressure her into agreeing. Troubled by Lily’s desperation, Mia was trying to find what magic words she can tell the seventh maiden to get her to back off. Noticing that this tactic didn’t work as well, Lily turned to the last thing up her sleeves. “I know how to kill the fallen god. I’ll do it. All you need to do is hand Ashley over and forfeit. That’s it. I’ll save the world.”

           Mia stared at Lily in shock at the final proposition. It seemed like she was going to accept the deal but instead, Mia slammed her fist on the table. “How can you be so selfish? Let’s say hypothetically you do know how to kill the fallen god. You willing allowed two people to die and jeopardize more lives- for what? Some passing crush?” Mia said, in awe that there was someone this egotistical. Some people called Mia a narcissist, but they never met a woman like Lily before. “Leave. I got nothing for you. This is between you and Ash, as I said since the beginning. If you two settle on something, then I give you my blessing.”

           “Do I have your word?” Lily asked. She stood up, excited by… whatever Mia just given her.

           “Yes. If Ash wants to be with you, I won’t stop this. Now go,” Mia said. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. It was cold.

           Leaning forward, Lily brought her lips to Mia’s ear to whisper. “Don’t worry. He wants to be with me. I already talked to him. I’m just giving you a warning- as fellow sisters in arms, of course,” Lily said, her breath was strangely cold unlike the warm breath a human should have. “Try not to be jealous.”

           At those words, Lily stood up straight to savor the bitter expression on Mia’s face. Turning her head slightly to glare at Lily, Mia began grinding her teeth as she recognized the smug expression on the seventh maiden’s face. Waving goodbye, Lily skipped out of the shop to leave Mia alone with her thoughts.

           Fucking pick-me girls. It was a term that Mia didn’t want to use but it was the only thing that crossed her mind. Frustrated, Mia balled her right hand into a fist and knocked against the table impatiently. Lily talked to Ash before this? Mia got a dreaded sense that she made a mistake in not being firmer with Lily, but she wanted to believe that Ash knew better than to go with someone like her. She specifically warned him about this scenario. But Mia also told Ash that she intended to respect his decisions regardless if they were good or bad but this was really fucking bad. Ash wasn’t just her partner but also a friend to Mia. She only hoped that he valued her opinion as much as she valued his. God…

What did Lily tell him?

                                                     ✥Ash✥

           Fuck.

           Oh fuck.

           This is really fucking bad.

           Mimicking the pose of The Thinker, Ash stared straight ahead with his mind consumed by a torrent of thoughts and new information. Though he couldn’t register why, he watched several children get herded along by worrying mother to escape his field of vision. There was a look of murder in his eyes and his mind wasn’t far from that appearance. The seventh maiden’s words still echoed his now cleared mind. The fog that covered the gaps between memories was gone and all that was left was the horrifying reality of his past actions. Everything he did for Lily in his last summoning. He did it all… for love.

           Ash finally understood why Mia always said the word with such distaste. Why she said every emotion was ugly if you let it mindlessly consume you without control. He can vividly see it, the blood that was on his hands. The sounds of those women screaming as he killed them while their knights could only watch. He did it because Lily asked him to do so, justifying that they were going to die anyway. At the time, it sounded like the most reasonable thing in the world. Even now his mind was trying to tell him that he did the right thing but the disconnect between him from the past and him right now were two different people.

Lifting his head and leaning back to rest his back against the park bench, Ash allowed the sunlight that got past the leaves above to put him in a daze. Christ. What was he thinking back then? You weren’t thinking, Mia would say. He can picture her calculative words of wisdom. If it wasn’t for the fact that Mia warned him about this outcome when he decided to chase after his missing memories, this revelation would have possibly destroyed him. Consume his current identity and replace it with the past version of him. Lily must have thought the same thing when she told him what to do next after being told his past.

“Go back to Mia and tell her that you want to be my knight. She’ll approve it. I promise,” she said, “You’ll find that she isn’t fond of you. Not as much as me.”

Of course, Mia would approve of it if he were to propose this idea. Despite her teasing attitude, Mia never suppressed his opinions. Not like the soft-spoken Lily in his memory. He couldn’t believe the past him was head over heels in love with her. Lily was as forgettable as they come- a forgettable side character, as Mia liked to call them. If he didn’t know better, Ash would have assumed that these memories were false. Mia would have told him to verify that fact. And verify he did. There was no magic used nor any memory manipulation. All of this came naturally to him. But despite that fact, these memories didn’t feel organic. It didn’t feel like it matched his character.

Mia constantly reassured Ash that he was a good person despite the evidence pointing otherwise. Maybe she already guessed that he killed many people before, and she was only saying that to keep him from being unable to fulfill her goals. She was always open with what she wanted. No, that wasn’t right. He was villainizing Mia just to justify his actions. But even still, it made him break rule number one constantly as he didn’t want to reveal the memories that surface. The feelings he felt. He was scared that she’ll tell him to leave. Return to that cold, lonely abyss. But look at where it got him, getting consumed by these complicated emotions, just as Mia warned him about. Even now, he wanted to accept Lily’s deal just so that he didn’t have to… disappoint Mia. He masked one secret with others and created one big mess.

No, Ash was done with this downward spiral. Mia has been meeting him halfway ever since the beginning and he just been refusing to accept it. For what? Because of pride? Fear of rejection? Those concepts held him back. There was so much he wanted to tell Mia. Conversations he forgo and replaced with banter. The memory of his past felt like fiction while the time he shared with Mia felt real. Authentic. Fighting the other knights was all he knew yet it felt like a dream when contrasted to watching movies with Mia.

Already on his feet, Ash began walking towards the café. He spent too much time thinking when he should be talking about what just happened. This was just another tactic to get them separated. To ruin their partnership. He almost fell for it but that was why Mia created rule number one: no secrets. The distance Ash put between them was large, yet he knew Mia was waiting for him to catch up. His brisk pace turned into a run as he didn’t want her to wait any longer.

Cars, trees, buildings, and people all blurred past him as he ran to the café Mia was in. He felt stupid knowing that Mia was busy trying to stop the end of the world while he was busy feeling sorry for himself. It only made him want to come clean about everything. As the café’s iconic red poster came to view, Ash slowed his pace before ultimately stopping in front of the café’s glass door. Pulling it open with more force than needed, Ash put his desperation on display for all to see as the wind chime above the door made an ugly clang of metal hitting glass.

Sitting right where he left her, Mia barely spared him an acknowledging glance as she drank her coffee. Out of everyone in the shop who ogled Ash from his action, it was only the person he was looking for who didn’t look back. “There you are, Ashley. I was getting worried you would never come,” Mia said, taking control of the conversation as she always does. “Judging how you’re out of breath, I guess you learned something spicy.”

Turning her head, Mia presented her usual teasing grin that was a lot friendlier. No, it was always friendly, but Ash didn’t want to view it as such. With her expecting him, Ash was quick to clock on that he wasn’t the only person Lily talked to. He took several long strides so that he can stand before Mia. “Lily talked to you too,” he said. It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Mia nodded her head. “Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. She gestured to the sit in front of her and Ash accepted it with no hesitation. His knees brushing against hers as he slipped before Mia. “Seemed like the bitch was a lot more cunning than I thought. But luckily, I was ahead of the curve,” Mia said. She paused for a moment to pass her uneaten dessert to Ash for him to eat. Apple pie based on its cinnamon-fruity scent “Still shocking though. How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly, not that bad,” Ash said. He attempted to reject the offer but after much prodding from Mia, he took a bite. Oddly, something sweet made the bitter situation a little better. “You prep me after all.”

“That’s good. Don’t let people lead you around if they hold something above you,” she told him, “I would say to forget about this, but I know you’re in a complicated position.”

“She told you about the deal.”

“Of course.”

“Did you say no?”

Ash knew the answer to that question but even still, he hoped that Mia told Lily to fuck off. That he was her partner. Yelled at Lily in a fit of jealousy.

“You know I can’t speak for you. This is between you and her,” Mia said. Ash hung his head down in defeat. He knew how Mia was, but it still hurt hearing her diplomatic stance on the situation. “But… if you want to hear my opinion on this. I don’t think this is a good idea. To be honest, I think Lily is a toxic piece of shit and you have to be blind to go with her,” Mia said, “But it’s up to you. Maybe you know something I don’t.” Ash felt a lot better with the clarification from Mia. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about him but gave him autonomy.

“Yeah, your right. You don’t know something about this deal that doesn’t make it work. About everything that happened really. Lily probably doesn’t anticipate it either,” he said.

“Really? What is it?”

“I… kind of… like you. A lot. Romantically.”

                                                        ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

“Ouch! Shit! Can you be a little more gentle!”

“Hwy don't yoo try bandagenng a woond in a dark fuckenng roum!”

With a flashlight in her mouth, Mia squatted next to Ash. The bright light shining on his face, forcing him to cover his surviving eye. Blood heavily seeped down from the other one. Trail of red tears oozed from the gash that was once his left eye. It made Mia sick to look at, knowing that Ash may never be able to use it again, but she didn’t want to worry the guy. They got this far, and she didn’t want him to freeze up fighting like that again. She couldn’t do much for it, let alone save it. She wrapped the bandage around his head tightly… at least she could stop the blood.

“What did you say?!” Ash said, attempting to give Mia his signature smile only to falter back in pain as she pulled the bandage into a tight knot behind his head. Mia spat out the flashlight into her hand and pointed the beam away from his face now.

“I said, Why don’t you try bandaging a wound in a dark room,” Mia said, repeating her words in frustration. She wiped the blood she got on her hands onto her pants before standing up. She turned the flashlight around to look at the other teams gathering their bearings and patching up their wounds. One of the women was crying to her knight about her broken leg while another woman watched her knight snap his shoulder back to place. The supply packs they brought were in the center of the group; ripped open with the content inside spilled on the floor during everyone’s mad rush to get their hands on some light and the first aid kit.

It was a brutal, bloody mess. But everyone survived. That was the most important thing to remember. As risky as it was, if they were to let things played out as it always had for thousands of years, they wouldn’t be here complaining about their injures. Mia wanted to believe they understood that fact. The reason why no one was making a larger scene than this.

Mia’s eyes focused on the seventh team. Lily barely had a scratch on her as she looked down at the bloody mess that was her knight. Though Mia couldn’t hear it over the mutterings of the other teams and the disgusting way the walls pulsed, she could tell that the golden-haired knight was having difficulty breathing. While Mia was mostly unharmed, even she had several cuts and bruises in dealing with the Holy Order’s monks. Mia found it odd, but her attention was pulled by Ash taking her hand.

“Did you just call the cocoon of the fallen god a dark room,” Ash said. It seemed like Ash wasn’t aware of the current mood of the room as he attempted to banter with Mia. No, that wasn’t right. He knew it quite well but he didn’t want to be consumed by the hopeless feeling that hung in the air. Mia was the same.

“Do you want to acknowledge that the floor is squirming underneath you? No, of course not. We’re in a dark room and that it. No ifs, ands, or buts,” Mia said, turn her head down to look at Ash resting on the ground. He smiled at her but it shifted to a serious expression.

“Tell me honestly. The cut is bad,” he asked her. Mia considered for a moment in lying to Ash to ease his worry but decided that it was stupid. They both knew that his eye won’t work again and he accepted that he’ll gain many more injures to come. She’ll be insulting him if she treated this as just a paper cut.

“Well, that’s the bad news,” she said. Mia looked away as she attempted to think of something nice to say about Ash’s wound.

“There’s good news?”

“Yeah. You completely rock the pirate look.”

Ash rolled his single eye before scoffing at Mia’s strange words of encouragement. He felt better hearing it though. It was nice to have someone to joke with despite the dire circumstances. While where they were wasn’t the most ideal of places, Ash wished that time stopped right here. Not because of the miserable time everyone was having but to keep the final fight at bay a little longer. The same thought plagued Mia as well though she didn’t wish for time to stop but for a chance to speak her mind.

“So, um. Ashley,” Mia said. She turned her head back to maintain eye contact with him as she talked. She squeezed his hand which Ash returned. “I know that we promise to shelf this talk for another day and kinda awful to bring up, in general, considering everything,” Mia said, “But I want to give you an answer to your confession.” Ash’s eye widen at the sudden topic being brought up. He wanted the fallen god to make an appearance right here. Right now. Just so he doesn’t have to face the dreaded answer he’d been waiting for. Ash broke out into a cold sweat but in the end, he realized that this didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if Mia rejected him or not. He still wanted to be her friend.

“Responding to a confession right before the final battle? I thought you hated cliches,” Ash said. Teasing Mia to cover up the emotional roller coaster his mind was going through. “Scared it’ll be too late?”

“Yes, actually. I don’t like leaving loose ends,” Mia said, not a hint of shame in her tone. It made Ash shut up quickly. Pushing up her glasses, she took one look to gauge what Ash was feeling at this moment before she pulled the gun. “I’m happy that you like me, but I can’t return your feelings,” she told him, “At least… not right now. I’m not like you who just feel love just like that.” Mia snapped her finger. “It takes time for me to create a connection of that level. Maybe one day I might fall in love with you but right now, you’re my friend,” she said, “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I don’t want to leave our relationship at this. I hope you can understand.”

Ash saw this answer coming. He saw it miles away the moment Mia warned him about developing feelings for her. He thought that it was all bullshit. That someone hurt her in the past or she was playing hard to get. But after spending some time with her, Ash realized that she was a complex individual and grappling with difficult concepts he couldn’t begin to understand. Ash barely even understood himself at times. Mia was the one person who seemed to have everything together, it was one of the reasons why he came to love her. But there was some baggage that he didn’t know how to help carry. At least not yet.

“Yeah. I understand. Whatever happens, at least we’re still friends,” Ash said. Though the rejection hurts, he couldn’t say that he was sad. Relieved if anything but, more importantly, determine to walk out of this alive with Mia. Finally letting go of Mia’s hand, he raised his arms to stretch before settling back down again. The air between them was awkward, at least for Ash forcing him to change the topic first. “Why the sudden serious talk? You’ve been saying this since the beginning. We’re going to win and make it out alive. Unless a new premonition came to you.”

“I told you. They’re not premonitions. I use logic and reason to come up with my predictions. That said, my prediction still stands. We’ll win and you-“

The words that Mia wasn’t able to finish were trapped in her throat as the room began rumbling and shaking. Several people screamed at the unnatural earthquake and Mia wasn’t sure if she was among the women who screamed. Ash quickly got to his feet and got ahold of Mia to keep her from falling. With shaky hands, Mia pointed the flashlight deeper into the cocoon. The darkness of it swallowed the beam whole but the light managed to reveal something slithering in the dark for a split moment.

“Is that… a worm?” Ash asked.

“No… it’s a giant snake,” Mia said, her eyes glued on where she last saw its tail. She almost missed it, but the snake’s red eyes reflected the light when her hand jerked right. In all of its scaly glory, Mia’s eyes trailed up its body as the last of the tremors stopped. The diamond-shaped head reared back and ready to strike. Though Mia knew better considering she was standing among a group, it appeared that the snake was looking right at her. Her blood went cold at the thought, but she didn’t let it paralyze her. The moment Mia found her voice, she was shouting out orders.

“Maidens! Remember the plan! Stay back and take the critically injured with us! We’ll maintain support from behind while the knights fight,” Mia yelled. She moved his arm away so she could move though she gave him an encouraging pat as he moved up to the front to fight with the other knights. Jogging up to the maiden who broke her leg, she signaled to the third maiden to help carry her back. The knight seemed worried to leave behind his maiden in this state but after a reassuring nod from Mia, he went to go join the line.

Wrapping her arm around the woman’s waist while the third maiden help from the other side, they quickly carried her away from the designated fighting area. “Keep your lights on the thing! It’s huge and fast!” she yelled, reminding the other maiden to keep her flashlight on the battlefield as they retreated. Gently placing the girl down, Mia quickly untangled herself to turn back around. The fight was underway as Ash and two other knights fought what everyone assumed to be the fallen god. The seventh knight, Erik was hobbling over to the battle. He wasn’t in any condition to fight as he had to use his lance to hold himself up, slipping down and ultimately collapsing.

Mia found it strange that he was attempting to push himself like this despite his injures. She was about to call him to hang back with her group when Mia counted one missing party. Lily! She looked left and right for the stupid girl but was quick to realize that her knight was most likely attempting to walk towards her. Tilting her flashlight down, Mia discovered Lily slowly walking up to the fallen god with her arms opened wide as if she was offering herself. Making a frantic gesture to the other three women, Mia broke out into a dash to grab Lily. Sure, she hated her guts but that doesn’t mean she wanted her to kill herself because of delusions of grandeur. “What the hell are you doing!”

Shaking off the three knights from its body, the snake snapped its head forward to strike the offered woman, but she was pushed out of the way by Mia who made it just in time. Unable to scream as the pain from the bite exploded in her head, Mia let out a grunt while seeing stars. The flashlight in her hands clattered to the ground. It felt like the snake intended to eat her as it attempted to pull Mia away from everyone, but Ash dug his sword into its side cause the snake to let go and return to the battle.

“Are you okay?!” Ash yelled, getting flailed around by the snake as it tried to shake Ash off. Holding her side, Mia looked at the damage left behind. Mia can only describe the chemical reaction her blood was experiencing was mind-numbing. Her blood turned viscous, making it hard for her to move. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out her guts at this very moment was one of the snake’s teeth left behind during its quick retreat.

This was very much, not okay.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Mia yelled back. She turned her body away from the fight to keep Ash from seeing it. If he saw the state that she was in now, all this effort would be for naught as Ash would end up choosing her instead of the world. Letting out a groan, she held her side. Mia wanted to sit but knew that she couldn’t give anything away that would cause Ash’s worry.

“Tsk tsk. Someone broke rule number one,” Lily said, teasing Mia. The woman walked around her, smacking the tooth buried in Mia’s side as she moved to stand before her. Mia’s legs buckled for a moment, but she stood firm as ever. Lily frowned at the lack of weakness from Mia but she was soon smiling once again. “You better keep that in if you don’t want to bleed out! Oh but… the fallen god’s venom is poisonous too. So maybe it’s better for you to pull it out.”

“Why… are you like this? I don’t see how you fit in this equation,” Mia said, letting out a groan. “You’re normal based on my research. No connections to the Holy Order or the fallen god. If you’re angry at how I treated you, then I’m sorry. But don’t drag others into this.”

“Even when you apologize, you’re still disgustingly prideful,” Lily said, “I just simply hate you. For taking away everything that is mine. I will fix everything you ruined.”

Mia stared at Lily bewildered by what her rival meant. The girl was insane but was she that insane to risk the universe? Glancing back to the battle, the three knights should have taken the fallen god by now based on their collective strengths, but the snake still fought as if they never injured it. No! It was healing or rather… being healed. While Mia didn’t have verifiable evidence that Lily had something to do with that, she knew that there was no such thing as coincidence in this world. The woman’s strange actions solidified it and if not, then she was nothing more than a health hazard to everyone involved.

“You know. You really underestimate me,” Mia said. Her hand got a tight grip around the exposed part of the tooth at her side. “Just because I want to do the right thing doesn’t make me a good person,” she told Lily, “Even if it means taking unethical actions, I’m willing to make the hard decisions if it means it justified the ending.” Ripping the tooth out from her side, Mia felt the adrenaline pumping through her as she knew what to do.

And it seemed like Lily knew what Mia was thinking as well.

The woman attempted to flee from Mia, but she was quick to hold onto Lily’s sweater to hold her in place. The two of them struggled with Lily screaming for help. Mia gave Lily some shallow cuts before forcing her entire weight onto the woman and they both fell. Lily repeatedly hit Mia’s side to her to fall off, but Mia was far too focus to feel it. Raising the tooth high, she jammed it into Lily’s throat, digging it deeper until she stopped moving. Mia pushed the tooth one more time to make sure Lily was dead before rolling off onto her back. The deed was done and Mia couldn’t feel her hands anymore.

Her head was light, but Mia managed to focus more on the fight and less on the injury. Based on the sounds, the knights’ attacks were finally leaving behind some damage. It worked. Lily was oddly the key to this entire show. Mia wanted to make a horcrux joke but it was hard to stay awake let alone think of something clever. Thankfully, she didn’t need to be left alone with her thoughts as the room shook once more as the body of the snake collapsed mere inches away from Mia; crushing Lily’s body right next to her. Mia could hear Ash yelling for her in the background, but Mia couldn’t help but look at the close encounter with a god. She placed her hand on its cool scales and felt it take shallow breaths.

“You’re dying too,” she told it.

“Mia! Oh god, Mia!”

Dragging her away from the body of a god, Ash’s face hovered over her head as he forced her to look at him. He pressed his hand against her side to stop the bleeding, but it was already too late. Ash’s already pale face looked like a sheet of paper as he began desperately yelling for someone to help. Did Mia look that bad? She couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would you look at that, Ashley? All my predictions came true,” Mia said, “I predicted you’ll fall in love with me. I predicted that you’re a big drama queen. And I predicted that we’ll win, and you’ll survive. Aren’t I something?”

“Yeah, something else for making jokes right now,” Ash said. He began unraveling the bandages from his eye so that he could use them on Mia, but she placed her hand on his thigh to stop him.

“Don’t do that. I won’t be able to use it,” she said. She let out a dry wheeze as she found it hard to hold on to this life. “I need you to take every out of here. Though the seventh knight looks like he’s dead, he’s still alive. Passed out.”

“But, what about you?” Ash argued. He gently shook Mia’s shoulder as, for just a moment, she closed her eyes. Fear struck him as he thought that she was dead but Mia opened her eyes.

“I already did my mission. I have no regrets,” she said. Mia took several shallow breaths before continuing her train of thought. “You promise to follow seven rules if you want to be my partner. What was the seventh rule again?”

Ash didn’t want to answer her. He placed one arm under her knees and the other behind her back to carry her, but Mia pushed his face away. “What was the rule?” she asked him.

“If… if it looks like you’re going to die but we’re close to completing our goal then leave it be. You will manage somehow. And if you die, then you die satisfied,” Ash said, his face grim as the rule he agreed to wholeheartedly now weighed heavily on his tongue He felt sick. Another one of her predictions proven right. “I really wish you were wrong most of the time.”

“It’s all a number game, baby!” Mia said before letting out a series of coughs in expelling the last of her energy in a cheer. Ash tighten his hold around Mia before pulling her closer onto his lap. Mia smiled at him before leaning her head on his chest. “It’s okay, Ashley. We’ll meet again someday,” she told him.

“Is that a prediction?”

“No. A promise. It’s up to you if you want to make it true.”

“You’re a piece of work for making a promise that I have to keep,” Ash said. He laughed but there was hardly any humor in it. There was a long pause as neither of them had anything to say. Shifting Mia in his arm, Ash finally came up with what he wanted to tell Mia before she goes.

“Can I make a promise to you too?”

But Mia was already long gone without a single good-bye.

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 007

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: New Year and school is back in session after winter break. Billy starts the grovelling process and observes some new things about Evie. TW: PICA-it's worse. Vomiting. Animal death mention. Student/Teacher relationship in the background. School bullies. Taglist open!!! ​​

Chapter 7: One Bad Kiss Constellation

   The first day back to school was uglier than Evie pictured. Fall of snow didn't get them out of classes.

   Her stomach was already in knots, but that could have been the shiny things she’d eaten the night before.

   Felt like a game. What would pass. What would tie her stomach up. These little trinkets she actually dug for, cleaned with bleach, and stacked on that empty shelf. Organized each item. Admired her display of will and control. Mostly keys and buttons. Couple nuts from a toolbox in their garage.

   So far, everything came out. So far. Evie wondered what her insides would look like and tried to slow. Tried despite all the noise.

   Calculus was first. Thankfully, she shared it with Heather who was all smiles. Chattering about her surprise mini trip with her parents. 

   They had it with Tommy and Carol too. All the fucking grins and looks Evie got burned. Tommy peering then shifting to Carol’s ear so she could giggle.

   Evie’s pencil snapped within her fist so Heather glanced aside to see the pieces roll away.

   “Okay, muscles.” She chuckled, passing a freshly sharpened one over.

   “Thanks.”

   “So, what’d you do for New Years?” All the scratching of lead on paper was driving Evie insane. Grating like an out of tune orchestra of vibrating strings.

   “Just some lame party, the usual.” Evie was rubbing the back of her neck. Eyes glued to the page.

   Carol giggled again. Fingernails sunk into the skin of Evie's hairline.

   “Don’t know what her problem is.” Heather remarked to herself.

   Evie shook her head. Lips pressing with no sound. Trying to focus on the problems along the page and not the ones fizzling in her life. Her desk was pressed into the far right wall next to all the campy posters teachers loved to decorate their rooms in.

   About how there's always a silver lining and chase the morning.

   Evie rolled her eyes at the thought. Caught sight of a sleek thumbtack there sticking out. Shiny and chrome. Lungs pulsed and she wondered about the weight on her tongue.

   Strange how her mouth watered for it.

   Two fingers subtly snatched it from the wall when the bell rang.

   Second period was usually what she was excited about. English with Bowers and the sly smiles they beamed at each other across the room. Carol always looked between them. Jealous she wasn’t the hot teacher’s pet. She noticed a great deal there.

   Evie shared the class with Steve also. And Billy who sat in the next row over just behind her. He stared at Evie, trying to read every twitch and shift of her body. A note hit her desk from Steve.

   Brown eyes peered up as if to ask who it was being passed to, but he cocked his chin at her.

   Fredrick sat quietly at his desk as they worked separately today. He didn’t see her unfold it.

   What’s up with Hargrove? Looks like he’s trying to vaporize you with his laser eyes.

   Evie hitched to stop herself from laughing at a picture with a stick figure and a mullet. Lasers blasting out of the eyes. She added some comically large muscles. Cleared her throat and wrote back.

   He’s a creep.

   Steve quirked a darling smile at her.

   Billy saw a flash of stark, bloody red. Harrington made her grin without force.

   “Okay, class, let’s see who read the material. Pass your papers up.” Fredrick stood to collect. “I’ll be reading these tonight and- Ah, Mr. Hargrove. Thank you for the scribbling of your Camaro. I hope the essay question is as detailed.”

   “Been thinking about upgrading my girl, sir. Say, what do you drive?” Billy tapped his pencil, lazy as can be. “Cool guy, I bet.”

   “Just a Plymouth. We muscle cars have to stick together.” Fredrick was pulling stacks of papers from the front. Billy didn’t drop it.

   “That orange one? Yeah. I’ve seen it around.” Blue eyes drew to Evie at that. She felt a chill and peered back with a stony expression. “Bet the girlies all line up.”

   A few classmates chuckled for their glorious king.

   “It gets me from point A to B. That’s all I ask for.” Bowers only laughed.

   "I'm sure it does." Billy mused coolly, fingers twisting his ring which caught the light.

   The bell blared.

   “Alright, class. We’re starting a new unit tomorrow. I hope you all have your Shakespeare hats ready.”

   A collective groan sounded.

   Evie rushed out to Yearbook with Jonathan, Nancy, and Heather. Only class she had where Seniors and Juniors mixed. Besides lunch if that counted. Got lost in dark rooms so the world couldn’t see her hands shaking.

   "Here." Jonathan caught her trying to clip some photos up, fumbling with a stack.

   "Thanks," Evie sighed, "too many pages for our losing sports teams, right?"

   He chuckled at that.

   "My thoughts exactly."

   Jonathan went to help Nancy order some drafted pages when Heather crossed over. Eyes on Evie working.

   "Something the matter?"

   "Bourbon's not doing well. I expected it, but...he's just been with me through all of it. You know?" A frown etched. She didn't want to cry. Heather paused to hug Evie from behind.

   "He's our little prince still. I'm sorry."

   Her friend shifted out, pressed a smile and went back to work in silence. Groaned because Billy was in half these basketball photos. Alight and intense.

   “Hey, I’m going to the library for lunch.” Evie spoke after that bell rang. “I’ll scarf my sandwich on the way.” 

   Heather observed her again. Watched how Evie avoided her eyes.

   “Was...something else going on? I feel like I-”

   “No, just missing the break.” Evie flashed her teeth to make it convincing. 

   She did manage to get half the sandwich down and tossed the rest out. Patted cold water on her cheeks once she was alone in the bathroom as everyone went to lunch. The hallway got quieter and Evie looked at her flushed face. Shuddered and reached for the pin in her pocket.  Small. Deft. Dainty.

   Stark point. Catching the light. 

   She washed it with soap. Opened her mouth to stick her tongue out. Cradled it there. Chrome and out of place against pink flesh. Lips closed. The point pressed down into her tongue. Evie winced. Tried to swallow and choked it back into her hand. Saliva dripping.

   A spot of red welled. Loud and obscene and horrible. Tasting metal. Shame. Tears pooled.

   So she pushed it back in like she’d done with the key to drown the noise out. Evie Fenny wasn’t a fucking quitter.

   Swallow. Swallow. Swallow.

   It scratched going down. Working around clenching muscles. Pangs fluttered. Fingers grasped the sink to bite a groan back.

   Evie thought she heard the little plink of it hitting her stomach. Gasped to breathe. There wasn’t shame anymore, only pride. She powered through it. Had utter control.

   Eyes locked with the mirror. Calm. Collected. Not in this body. Rust turned to sweet strawberries and rose petals.

   Imagine stabbing something several times until it was beautiful.

   Exhale.

** ** ** 

   Carol and her gaggle still kept the laughter up in the cafeteria. She sat upon the table with Tommy next to her. Animated stories kept them hanging upon dripping syllables. Heather couldn’t stand it anymore. Pushed up to cross right over.

   “What’s your problem today?” She cocked her hip.

   “Oooh.” Carol clicked her glittery nails on the table. “So touchy, sweet pea.”

   “What’s your problem with Evie, she didn’t do anything to you?”

   “Other than her being a tart for Bowers. Nothing to me. In fact, she provides us with hours of entertainment. Had a hot date with the Keg King.” Carol nodded toward Billy across the way, sitting alone and clicking his lighter. Annoyed, he got up and went to sneak his usual lunch smoke.

   “What? What are you talking about?”

   “Uh, isn’t Fenny your BFF?” Tina chimed in. “Shouldn’t you know?”

   “Aw, that’s so cute, she didn’t tell you.” Tommy added with his crooked smile. “Must be so embarrassed. Poor girl.”

   “You have five seconds-”

   “I’m gonna tell you.” Carol decided. Finger curling to bring Heather in. “Only because it’s just too good.”

** **  **

   Billy got one puff in before Princess Heather Holloway was smacking the cigarette from his fingers. Snarling and bright red to match the cute bow in her hair.

   “Hey!” 

   “Hey yourself, what the fuck?” She pushed Billy clear into the brick wall. Chilled him more than the breeze. A new flutter of snow began to fall with no peace in sight. Her face was flushed cherry with anger. “I know about your little Skirt Safari bullshit! You tricked Evie! You hurt my friend...you’re an asshole.”

   Billy just sagged at her. Reached to pluck up his cigarette and got it slapped again. Heather crushed it with her expensive shoe for good measure.

   “You had no right to do something so disgusting! Carol and Tommy filled me in.”

   His brow lifted.

   “...Evie didn’t tell you?”

   “The last thing Evie wants is for people to see her in pain, so I know you hurt her bad.” Her arms crossed. “Well?” A cold breath puffed.

   “It wasn’t supposed to-”

   “You mean, she wasn’t supposed to find out about the bet. You’re so selfish. You’re a selfish little prick. Stay the hell away from my friend.”

   She turned and a hand snatched her wrist.

   “Heath-”

   “What?” She shrugged with some extra ire. Eyes flickering like flames. “I think you’ve done enough.”

   Billy let her go, looked elsewhere. No syllables to make her stop fuming. Heather huffed at him and marched back inside to find Evie at her locker. Shoulders dropped.

   “Hey…” Heather’s slow approach still gave Evie a fright. Huge doe eyes looking far too somber.

   A sigh.

   “Who told you?”

   “Carol and those jerks.” Heather pressed her lips. “Just scared Hargrove shitless, I think. I’m sorry, I wish you told me. You said you'd tell me things.”

   “This thing... It doesn’t matter. He tricked me, whatever.” Evie’s arms went out then dropped. She faced her locker. Toyed with the handle and pressed her book closer. “It was all stupid. For a moment, I thought he… I thought a boy might-”

   “He’s a little prick.” Heather turned her friend around.

   “We had fun. We danced. I kissed him first. Did Carol tell you that part?” Evie sucked in some air.

   "Oh?"

   “Yeah, I kissed him and I was going to screw him too. I was gonna go to a motel with Billy Hargrove for New Years and, you know, I...I wanted to. I really wanted him... But, it doesn’t matter. They can talk about it all they like.” She moved to go, slamming her locker shut. “I don’t care. It won’t bother me. It's stupid. All of it.”

   “Evie, don’t shut down, please.”

   “I’m fine.” Sneakers skidded when Heather stepped in front of her. "Boys like Billy Hargrove don't go for girls like me. He doesn't want me. That's not news."

   Evie remembered all the hot bodies jumping around. The crowds and fireworks blasting along with a musical beat. Moments where she'd felt incandescently delighted next to Billy and the lingering of their starry eyes. Like they'd been meant to find each other all this time.

   "Getting mad about this is the same as being upset about the pattern of stars. It's pointless." Evie swallowed a thicker lump down.

   No, that's what ached. Billy made her believe they could be rewritten. Made her want to defy the stars.

   “Let’s hang out this weekend. A no boys party for both of us.” Heather smiled, taking Evie's hand. “He’s not even a boy, Eve, he’s a little prick. Let’s just have some fun. Friday? Sleepover. You pick the first movie.”

   “I’m fine, Heath,” the words sounded funny now, “but okay. Sleepover.”

   “Good.” A brighter smile crossed so Evie matched it. She let Heather hug her and managed to make it through classes all the way to her free period avoiding Billy’s eyes on her skull. Sneaking out was an art form she’d perfected. Quick steps to her locker and toward the door. Stopping only to see into the theater when stage lights turned rose red.

   Evie peeked in. Beamed.

   “Mr. B.” She shuffled inside after checking the hallway. "Fredrick."

   “I’m alone, Evie, come sit with me.” He patted the table next to the lightboard he was working on. The glow changed to a softer pink. Made it all less menacing. Bathed in blush, she crossed the illumination and scooted up onto the cool surface. Skirt shifting over black tights. “Bad day?”

   “Bad start to the year.”

   "Classmates? I can always fail them for you." He'd joked.

   She smiled, head shaking so he continued.

   “They’re intimidated by you, Evie, because you’re too ahead and mature for them. Soon, you'll be out in the world and they'll be left stumbling.” He peeked up behind a pair of glasses. This was old times. Encouragement. Nurturing. “Much like the director of the winter show who asked me to fix this damn thing last minute.”

   She giggled then, touching her lips. 

   “You look pretty in this light. You should wear pink more often, instead of red.” He remarked and she crossed her ankles. Hands gripping the edge.

   “Red makes me look and feel older.” Evie asserted herself.

   “What about that wet gloss you used to wear in class?” His finger brushed her knee before he was picking up a screwdriver. 

   “Thought you didn’t like to kiss me with gloss on, you said it was too sticky.”

   “I appreciate it more now that I’ve lost it. Just like you, Evie. You were there for me. It's something special to have a person. Don't you think?” He winked. Fredrick Bowers made her laugh and smile. Listened to her and gave back. Most days.

   All she longed for was to impress him. Please him. Be enough for someone.

   "It's not fair that I cannot kiss you here." He uttered. "Now. I'd like to."

   "Just kiss me?" Evie flicked some curls, drew her fingers across her collar so he fixated there.

   Played this version of herself that came out around him. This woman in red with cool words. Always game. She bit her lip and he paused to see her again. A smile crossed before they were interrupted.

   Evie looked up as the door opened and Carol stood there. A glare already on her pouty face. Fredrick scooted a good few inches from Evie. Quickly.

   “Sorry, I just had some questions about the reading. Mr. B.” Carol flashed a smile.

   "Of course, Carol. My door is always open. Evie, thank you for the inquires. I'll be getting back with you. Soon."

   Evie perked and got up. 

   “I'll hold you to that... We just finished. Thanks, Mr. B. For all the help.” She seemed all too chipper at Carol going green with envy. The redhead knocked into her shoulder passing, but Evie gripped her bag and went out. Frowned at the snow piling because she’d ridden her bike in. 

   Still, Evie was stubborn, so she got on and pedaled down the street. Sleet making it more difficult when a fucking Camaro revved down the way behind her. Billy honked once and got ignored. Pulled up in front of her and skidded over which sent Evie into a pile of frosty, dead leaves. Tumbling.

   “Hell.” She just laid there until Billy Hargrove was in the line of sight. Craning to see her and utterly stunning against the opal skies. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, huh? Three hundred bucks?” She untwisted from her bike and Billy yanked her up, brushing snow aside until he got smacked off with two heated expressions penetrating.

   “You’re screwing Bowers, aren’t you?” He’d hissed it.

   Oof.

   “You’re delusional.” Evie charged past him. Legs aching as she pushed her bike.

   “Max saw you in his car. He’s always looking at you. Is that where you go when you sneak out your window three times a week?”

   “No!” Evie swiveled. Breath ghosting.

   “But, you’re still fucking him.” Billy slid in front, hands on the bike handles to stop her again. There was a struggle. Her cheeks puffing as she feebly tried to push him back. Teeth clenched.

   “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Will you just move?” Her entire face scrunched together. All daggers. Slowing, Evie spelled it out for him. Drew closer. “And no one will ever believe you.”

   “You think I’m trying to make your life worse, Angel? I just want you to admit it.”

   "Admit, what? You have major issues? Fine! Easy! Now move!" She barely got a few inches forward with his muscles buldging. Two immovable objects.

   "Open those pretty lips and say it. You're fucking our teacher. I wanna hear it from that mouth." Billy paused, chest shuddering. "You went to him after what I did. I should have stayed with you."

   “I don’t owe you any of this. You're obsessed!” She shoved into him. No budging, the boy was made of steel.

   “He’s a fucking pedophile. We had those in California too, chica. Maybe they don’t like the term round these parts. You think he's making you feel good, but he's setting you on fire to warm himself. That fuse is creeping, babe.” Billy pushed back until she was sliding toward his car. Slush wetting their shoes.

   "You're unbelievable!" 

   “I’m not looking to tell anyone, got that?" Billy caught her gaze in the teetering. Held it. "I’m just saying you don’t have to do it. Anyone ever tell you that you don't have to do something, Evangeline?"

   Evie stopped pushing to stare with bigger eyes as he continued. Expression crestfallen because something resonated.

   "Being a good girl has a cost, you do everything people tell you to do until your organs start spilling.”

   “I'm not the only one with a front. Fuck you!”

   A beat.

   “You almost did that night.” Billy cocked his head. "I would have made you moan so pretty. I wanted to." Evie’s mouth dropped before she shoved him into the snow. Bike falling away. He looked thrilled. About to pitch a fucking denim tent. “There you are. I would have fucked you so hard and so good, babe. Bet you even taste like heaven and stardust. Yeah? Fucking hit me.”

   “Hit you?” Evie stilled over him. “You’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Fuck off, Billy.” She yanked at her bike again. He puffed there, chest sinking before he shot back up. Newfound vigor.

   Growled.

   “I’m sorry.”

   Even the snow stilled with him. She swerved and saw him crack.

   “Evie, I’m fucking sorry, okay? I’m shit at this and I‘m sorry. I’m sorry I took you to that stupid dance and screwed you over. I'm sorry you got hurt. I am sorry, got it!”

   “You’re sorry that you got caught.” She pointed.

   “I’m not leaving you alone.”

   “Listen, Billy,” Evie spun and dropped her bike, “I don’t need anything from you. Nothing. Okay? Just let it go, I really don’t know why you can’t. Be sorry somewhere else. The stars are where they are. Life goes on.”

   “Fuck the stars! They're too far away to stop us. I kissed you after midnight. I gave the fucking money away. I wanted out of it and I fucked up. I did. I'd change that, but I wouldn't change the night with you. Hear me? I didn't lie about that much." He strained to catch those brown eyes.

   She opened her mouth and closed it quicker. Almost softened.

   "I didn't fake that and I was shitty to take you to that place. That fucker Tannen used me to get back at you and I’m fucking sorry about it.” Billy seemed to rage the thoughts out. “You liked it too. The kiss. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”

   "If you call that a kiss." Sarcasm seeped out.

   "Yeah, I recall us sharing a couple." Billy laughed. Dry and disbelieving. "I was drunk, but I remember every damn second of how you felt."

   “You’re not fooling me again.” Evie crushed in on herself, pressed onward. Skidding to go away from Billy Hargrove. What the hell could he possibly want out of this?

   “I’ll leave you alone,” Billy sprang forward and grabbed her back wheel, “if you kiss me again and tell me it’s nothing. Just one more. Redo it. Yeah? To hell with the stars, we'll change them.”

   She looked in awe at him. Shoulders dropped.

   "It wasn't even that good of a kiss."

   "Then, what do you have to lose over another bad one?" Billy's head tilted up. Wild as can be. Evie matched it. Both of their curls moving up against the sweep of cold winds. Hungry looks about them. Billy undid her with a damning utter. "Prove me wrong, Angel."

   He fucking triple dog dared her.

   Evie practically kicked her bike aside, stomped toward him, and grabbed his face to smash their lips together. Billy pounced back with a barely there sound. Shoved Evie into the side of his car.

   Another vehicle honked and went around them. Probably too shocked to do much else with teenagers unable to control their hormones in the middle of the road.

   Moaning like he was in a porno, Billy made this one count. Hands palmed at her ass, bringing Evie up a few inches. Tongue down her throat near ready to prick himself on the pin she'd swallowed.

   She hitched as he pulled her hair to see lush hooded eyes again. But, briefly.

   "Yeah?" He twisted those curls around, both of them moaned. Challenge dancing. You like that, Angel? Evie's fingers were clutching at his jacket. A nod followed. She let him trail his tongue against her lips and opened her mouth for it again. Tasted spearmint.

   Drunken bodies kept moving and smacking back into his car. Billy even tried to pull her shirt up out of her skirt to touch the flesh underneath. Evie jolted out from him, having not been ravished like that by a boy so unafraid to touch her.

   And she shuddered apart. Kept her eyes closed so Billy did too.

   It was the only way to prolong this. A softer kiss where their noses brushed after. Foreheads pressing together. Ardent and lovely. Total silence was a thrill. Billy nuzzled his nose into her own again, pulling her body into his. Fingers crept barely under her shirt. Caressed the tender skin. Lungs and hearts needy beyond repair.

   Constellations twisting together until a single question dawned. Can I keep you?

   Evie quaked for air and saw him. Lashes long and too beautiful. Freckles. Snow falling like confetti. An ache flooded back. The pin pricks in her tongue jabbed. Arms pushed up at him. Felt the thumping in his chest.

   Holding his jaw steady, lipstick smeared to damn them both.

   “Do you always kiss the same way a thirsty dog laps at water?” She shoved him backwards. A spit trail left their mouths. Red glistened on Billy’s lips and chin. A sleazy grin cracked, tongue wiggling out to taste her still on him. Neither could breathe right.

   “Haven’t had complaints.” He gasped for air. “Are you judging my technique?”

   “Yeah, it sucks.” Evie puffed with more force. “And I felt nothing. Got it? Nothing. Leave me alone now.”

   “You’re a shitty liar.” He watched her swerve.

   “And you’re a shitty person!” She wiped her mouth. Billy stopped dead, dropped everything he was feeling to let that pierce him. “I felt nothing! Leave me alone.”

   “No.” Billy decided as she plucked her bike up.

   “No?"

   "You heard me." A child. "No. Nope. Nada."

   "But, you just said-”

   “I fucking lied and now you know how it’s done.” He went around his car. “Maybe I’m a shitty person, but at least I don’t hate myself enough to lie and screw-”

   “Spare me!” Evie screamed over him. Chilling. She got onto her bike and went down a dirt path so Billy couldn’t follow her. 

   “Fuck.” Billy slammed his car door getting back in. Revved up again, hitting the wheel. “Fuck!”

   He’d made it worse.

** ** **

   Billy made an attempt to leave Evie Fenny alone. Sorta. Didn’t even stare at her in school. Didn’t bring up Bowers. Pretended he didn’t hear her sneaking out to wherever. 

   He even tried screwing other girls. Drinking and partying to forget.

   Another problem came with that.

   He couldn’t keep his shit up. Tried everything. Got into bed with two girls and stayed soft. Pretended he was just too smashed. 

   All he saw was Evie Fenny looking at him with her huge, sad eyes. It made him furious and he tried to hate her. Tried to jerk himself off and only thought of her lipstick smearing his skin. Her amber perfume drowning his senses. Her body flush against his.

   Then, he was coming.

   He felt like shit about all of it and that turned to rage. No hate came, it just burnt.

   Meanwhile, Evie was lining pins and screws up for her collection. She wrote down every little thing she ate and what came out.

   It was supposed to all come out eventually and she'd be there to control it.

   She thought of the amethyst gemstone sparkling inside her and wondered how such a thing could make her feel so happy and alive.

   Even when her stomach began to ache with little pricks through the day. Even when her appetite was often ruined. Even with she tried again at times to stop it for good. The cravings undid her.

   She smiled through the pain just like she was taught. A woman's disposition. 

   I am fine. This is fine.

   Something collided distantly. Two arrows through the same heart. Spitting blood everywhere.

   One night, Evie wasn’t sneaking out.

   Billy still heard her scratching around the side of the house. Couldn’t help peeking to see her dragging a shovel. Holding a painted square under one arm. She set a decorated shoe box aside and started digging a hole just at the back corner of her house. Struggling to break ice and snow. Head bowed so wet curls covered her chilled face.

   He opened his window.

   “Hey.”

   “Go away.” She sniffled. Crying. 

   Billy hadn’t heard or seen her cry. Not even over him and what he did. Not for anything. The sound jarred him, he thought she might have been holding in laughter.

   Blue eyes drew to the box again and he realized it. Bourbon. The strange cat hadn’t been spying on him lately.

   “Please,” she turned her neck to barely peer at him through red rimmed eyes, “just go away.” Evie wiped her nose and let a fresh sprinkling of snow melt on her cheeks. She still looked pretty there, utterly fatigued. Wispy, wet curls framing her splotchy expression. 

   "You took good care of him." Was all he said. Evie turned back. Shoulders lifting.

   Billy did the only thing he could do for once.

   He left Evie alone. 

   Listened to her hum and dig to bury the beloved cat. Billy didn’t see Evie stuff a handful of soil into her pocket and go back inside to her empty house because her mother was always out with friends or working. She went to the phone in her bedroom. Luckily, Evie got her own line two Christmases ago. She dialed.

   “Hello?” Her prince.

   “Can I come over?” Evie sniffled. “Bourbon died.”

   “Who?”

   “My cat.” Dark eyes narrowed before she started to pick at some peeling wallpaper. “You remember?” She talked about the little ball of fuzz all the time.

   “Oh, that’s unfortunate, Evie.” Fredrick sighed for her. “I’m not sure after what happened last weekend. I still think you need time.”

   She spazzed out as the teenagers say.

   “I just...wasn’t comfortable doing that. The ropes freaked me out, I can’t explain it.” She shook her head. "I can try again, can I come over?"

   "So, now I'm just pushing you into it? Don't make me the bad guy, Evie, I won't be that. I'm here for you, but I want to go at your pace. You know that."

   "No, no, you're not pushing," came the protest, "I can do it. I'll try. I just wanna see you. I need to be touched." That sentiment got her welling again.

   “Evie, it’s like you don’t trust me to look after you.” He replied in a clinical sort of way. “I’m risking everything to be with you."

   "I know."

   He said it often.

   "You couldn't stop crying," he sniffled like he might weep over it, "you make me feel so helpless at times. Do you realize that?"

   "I"m sorry..." Evie crushed into the phone as he made it about him. His needs. His inability to keep her happy. That was her fault.

   "Too often, I think your head is just up in the clouds. These nightmares you have and the way you press into the wall when you sleep. Like you don't want me to touch you. And last week, dear, you just...wouldn't stop crying."

   "I promise I won't cry anymore." She's promised her mother that as well in silence. "I swear. I'll stop."

   "This fixation on your little poems. We used to have adult conversations about the future. It's like a part of you is locked away. You don't want me to touch it. What’s the matter with you?”

   “Songs.” Evie replied flatter.

   “What?”

   “They’re songs, not poems.”

   “I just mean, you should be more practical."

   "I don't know what's wrong with me." Evie decided at last. Clutching the phone cord in her shaken fist. Haunted. "I can't stop."

   She didn't know if she wanted to. This cycle that was eating her.

   "I got back into this because I wanted you. I see a future with us. Do you want me just as bad? Think on it. I'll give you the time. When you're ready, I'm here.” Bowers advised. He wanted her to want him so bad. “We’ll talk another day. Next weekend maybe.”

   "Fredrick, please-"

   The line cut.

   She'd been too needy, he like that on his terms. Liked when she crawled and when she needed him so bad. When she gave into everything he desired without a fuss. Fredrick wanted Evie, but he wanted a specific version of Evie. The bouncy girls on television game for anything, who had every answer. Fizzling emotions unsettled him. They were childish. But, he wanted her lips to be glossy and pink. Wanted her to be an adult woman in a spring breaking teen's body.

   You'd think he was still married to his uptight wife and fucking the damn babysitter.

   Evie set the phone down. Stuffed a handful of dirt into her lips. Smothered herself with it. Gritty, it stuck to her teeth like an Oreo cookie. Tiny stones shifted as she tried to swallow too much at once. She got another handful in before her gag reflex choked her. Feet scrambled to puke brown and bile into the toilet. 

   The Lego she ate earlier came up too. Found it helping Claudia and Dustin clear their basement. Shiny and blue. 

   Her stomach curdled. A few tears squeezed before she was scooping that up. Slippery with acidic bile. Pushing it back into her mouth. With her throat raw, it hurt worse the second time but it went down.

   Control. She was in total control. That’s what she told herself. Curled up next to the toilet. Scalp heating while her lips hung slack.

   “Nothing is the matter with me.” Evie told herself because stopping meant that thudding ache in her chest would glow all neon and rose red.

** ** **

   Billy wasn’t going to leave Evie alone. He decided that after a wet dream one morning. These things were not to be taken lightly by teenage boys. 

   I’m sorry. It didn't cut it. Actions, that’s what Susan advised, not that he’d admit prying advice from his chirpy stepmother. Vague as can be, Billy hung out in the kitchen doorway dropping rough hints.

   Maxine was more blunt when Susan asked her later.

   “Oh, yeah, he’s totally crushing on Evie and he messed it all up.” She said between the lazy crunching of salty chips.

   “That’s what I thought.” Susan sighed. An hour of Billy barking and hiding around the doorway told Susan that much. She was young once.

   “But, he did something. She’s mad at him.”

   “Well, Neil works late tomorrow, I asked Billy if he’d take me to Mona’s salon. She wanted me to go out with her friends. A dessert and wine thing she likes to host.”

   “Did you tell Neil?” Max was fixing a wheel on her skateboard and snacking. Poor thing wasn't getting use with all the snow fall. Susan only smiled.

   “Would you like to go get your hair done?”

   “Ick.” Max cringed at the thought of those huge rollers and hairspray. 

   “Max.” Susan replied carefully. “Evie works tomorrow, doesn’t she? Saturday.”

   She got the idea with her eyes lighting up.

   “Oh!” Max blew air out her lips. “Just this once, then.”

   “That’s my girl.” Susan figured if Billy was convinced it was all her idea, the day would go smoother.

** ** **

   Something else Billy Hargrove learned about Mona was her hair changed with the seasons. Locks big and bold but now a strawberry blonde. A head start for spring despite it still being January.

   Evie peered up at reception and noticeably, her face fell.

   Susan figured whatever happened had to be bad. She’d never seen such a reaction from a teenage girl to her drop dead gorgeous stepson. Hell, Billy Hargrove could bat his lashes and have eggs dropping in every uterus within a fifty mile radius.

   Might have been why Neil preferred to lock him in his room like he was the dirty tomcat about to impregnate all the neighborhood strays. Although, Neil had a list of reasons for how he treated Billy. None of them valid.

   Mona went right for Max. Squished her cheeks in smelling of lavender hand cream. 

   “I’m so glad y’all are here! Maxie, I promise I won’t shock you. Just a wash and freshen. Make your hair nice and bouncy. It’ll shine. I always say: the higher the hair, the closer to God.” Mona took Susan’s hand. “C’mon over here. My new girl, Shelby, will get you started too. Little pampering does everyone good.”

   “Hey.” Evie piped up, twirling a pen around. She’d eaten the cap an hour ago. Not much for chewing. Always up to the task of swallowing whole because she was a big girl.

   Big girls sucked it up and swallowed. 

   Billy thought to go back to his car. Swayed on his feet there looking around at all the plants.

   Actions.

   Actions. 

   They speak louder than words. Billy was a screamer.

   “Miss Mona, I was thinking we could… Uh, for me.”

   “You want a wash too, Billy?” She perked, hair bobbing as her little platforms clicked excitedly. “Come, come, sit down. Evie can get you shampooed to start.”

   Evie’s entire body locked. Billy smirked at her, but noticed an opportunity reach her eyes. The pen stabbed back into a cup. Lips spread in a devious way. He saw horns spring out of her big curls.

   Fuck, she looked hot though.

   It drove him wild. Evie with a fire behind her eyes. All plush curves and lingering allure. That amber perfume melted him.

   “I’d be so happy to help.” She gripped Billy’s leather bomber and jerked him into a chair. He had a semi at this point. "Get comfy."

   Hell, the girl was plotting a murder with that smoldering expression. Still, Billy was game because she was giving him attention. His tongue swept pink lips. Peachy skin glowing.

   There was something off about Evie too. This sunken manner like her energy had been sapped. The slightest dark circles under brown eyes. Skirt Safari was barely three weeks ago. He removed his jacket when Mona reached for it to hang it with Max’s and Susan’s.

   Dead boy walking.

   Max snickered from her chair across the way. She and Susan sat with little floral capes, already getting their pampering. Evie moved Billy’s hair and pulled a lilac cape around his neck.

   “Ack!”

   “Oh? Too tight. My bad.” She snapped a button. “Put your head back. Into the sink now.”

   Billy thought to pray for mercy, tilted back into the porcelain. He asked for this. The sink went on. Ice. 

   “Too cold?”

   “Nope.” Teeth chattered. Evie had that devilish look still. Decided to make it warmer. Lifted the nozzle and hit his face.

   And Billy took it. Sputtering.

   “Oh, so sorry…” Her tongue clicked. Didn’t even try to sound sincere.

   “Just a little water. No big deal.”

   Her bottom lip pouted. She sprayed his face again. Billy snickered through the coughing, fists held the chair tight.

   “You’re fucking waterboarding me, Fenny.” He'd spat, blinking rapidly.

   “What?” Evie paused then kept spraying him as he tried to reply.

   “You’re-”

   “I’m, what?” She came off and Billy snorted before the water splashed again.

   “Ngh-ffff- ”

   “Can’t hear you, Billy.” Evie caught Max losing it across the way.

   The boy took all the torment like a champ so she let up. He didn’t even snap when she pulled his hair shampooing it. 

   “I like it rough, Angel.” Billy hissed at her fingers pulling so she sprayed him again. Made him buck like a mad feline. He seemed to almost love it. This was foreplay to him.

   “Creep. Don’t pitch a tent in that cape.” Evie stuffed a towel in his face. Smiled cheerfully. All syrup. “We're done, mommy.”

   “Let’s see what I can do for these curls, Billy.” Mona let Claudia work on Susan while her new hire took over for Maxine. “I hope Evie gave you a good start.”

   She certainly revved his motor, but he wasn't going to tell her mother that.

   “So nice. I feel even more relaxed now.” Billy twitched a stressed smile. Earned himself a few good boy points.

   Evie cracked a grin at him, arms crossing before she went back to reception. Unbelievable.

   Mona had Billy chattering about his car and school and how he'd just turned eighteen in December. Life was coming his way. Evie took to doodling song lyrics in no order and tapped her pen. Mona either talked Billy into hair curlers or just started doing it. Which was another bout of amusement.

   And Billy stared at Evie the entire time. Even when she made it a point to face away. Sat on the stool with her legs crossed, leaning forward to jot her little lyrics down. Susan swept her eyes between them.

   Both relentlessly stubborn.

   “Mona, I’ve been wanting to repay you back for the dinner this month. How about tomorrow? Our place this time.” Came her voice when a hair dryer shut off.

   “We’ll bring the dessert.” Fingers played with Billy’s curls. Reminded him of his mother. Fluffed some life into them. He decided this salon was better than the places he used to go. 

   Music played, songs changing as time continued. Evie decided her luck couldn’t get any worse when Carol’s red hair appeared in her line of sight. Walking with her little friend group without Tommy. Likely headed to the nail place down the block.

   Carol spotted Evie behind glass and whispered something that had her friends howling before they went. 

   “Bitches.” Billy sauntered up behind her. Golden hair sparkling.

   “As if you had nothing to do with that.” Evie smacked her notebook shut. Sat straighter as he shook his locks out. Curls shining with lift. Like the sun just kissed them.

   “How do I look?” One brow rose. Teasing.

   “The same.” Gorgeous. 

   “Lunch?”

   “Already ate.” Evie’s lips pressed when she said that. They spoke out of earshot under the music. Not noticing the glances on them.

   “Guess I’ll still be seeing you for dinner tomorrow.” Billy counted some bills out. Snatched a pen and scribbled a note on a single. Dropped the money on the counter and pushed the one he’d written on into her pocket. She lifted an arm and glared, but let him. “We'll do this again some time. The back and forth. I pull your hair and you pull mine."

   "Unlikely."

   "Hm. Invest in waterproof red lipstick. Don't they have waterproof makeup now? Looks better on you than on me." His voice dropped.

   "Wow. Cocky now, are you?"

   "I just think it'll take us a lot of tries to get to a bad kiss. Don't you, Evie?" He replied pointedly, leaning over to speak in that low baritone. Pure amber honey.

   "I think you're in denial, Billy. Gotta put pride aside." Evie bit her tongue and turned away. Loathed the blush glittering her cheeks.

   "Takes one to know. I’ll wait for Max in the car. Need a smoke. See you around, Angel.” Billy swayed off after grabbing his coat. Out into the cold. 

   Evie put his money in their register and plucked the dollar out.

   “Sorry. -A shithead.”

   Billy had even gone out of his way to draw a little frowny face with a tear. Evie caught him looking at her from his car and rolled her eyes, stuffing the bill away.

   Tried not to smile. Failed.

   “Billy doesn’t do this kind of thing.” Max appeared a bit later. Glowy and red. Vibrant. “Just...so you know.”

   “It shows.” Evie sighed out her nose. Watched Max say bye to her mother since she was staying with Mona before hurrying out into the Camaro. One rev and it skidded off. Snow flurries falling in its wake.

   “She seemed mad,” Max had said in the car, “but, maybe less mad.”

   “It was a big fuck up. She’ll be mad a long time.”

   “And that bothers you.”

   “No.” Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. Watched his sister’s lips press before he scoffed. “Max, I did something evil. You understand? Evie wants fuck all to do with me.”

   And he couldn't throw her from his thoughts.

   “What did you do?” Max leaned in to press the subject. “Just tell me.”

   The gist of it came out by the time they parked at Cherry Lane. 

   Max just blinked at him. Flared. Billy cut the engine and paused, glancing at her.

   “Why do boys do this to girls?” She asked, fists clenched in her lap. Rigid and puffy. “I don’t understand. Are my friends going to be like you when they get older?”

   “No, Max, they’re not. I’m a piece of shit.” His shoulders came up.

   “And you didn’t have to be… Keep groveling, you owe Evie that much.” She slammed the door when she got out. Expected to get barked at and slowed because he made no move. Just flicked his lighter open and closed there. Blue eyes on the steering wheel. 

   Exhaling into the frost, Max came around the car and jerked Billy’s door open. 

   “You suck at this. She doesn’t want you to do this self-deprecating game where you play the asshole victim. She wants a real apology.”

   “I don’t know what the fuck she wants me to say anymore.”

   “Maybe you don’t have to say anything to her.” Max paused. “Those girls and people at school, they’re mean to her. Aren't they? You’re the Keg King. Are you really going to let that happen?”

   “They’re just fucking assholes, ignore them.”

   “Easy for you to say being popular. What happened to Evie during the dance has been happening to her through all of high school. Don’t you see that? If you really cared, you’d do something to stop it.” The door shut on Billy before he could reply. 

   Max went up into the house, left him to stew on that until he followed her inside. Away from the snow and Evie’s penetrating eyes that were beginning to haunt him.

~~~~

Tensions are just shooting all directions with these two dorks. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to chat or ask about the taglist!!

TAGGED: @80sbxtch​ @nottherightseason​ @orxhidshavana​   @alagalaska​ @alongcamedolly​ @kellyk-chan​ @billy--hargroves​

[capesandshapes]

The Last Resort: Chapter 5 (Adrinette)

Summary: After an akuma attack goes wrong, Adrien finally learns Ladybug’s secret identity and finds himself falling even deeper in love with his friend. He thinks he’s finally gotten lucky when she declares to him that she’s currently in the business of falling love with anyone but her previous crush… until that crush turns out to be him. Now Adrien has to somehow convince the girl of his dreams to fall back in love with him, while keeping his own identity a secret from her. Well, if there was one thing his father taught him, it was how to multitask. Chapter Summary: Don't Answer Your Phone, I Think This Might Be a Date  The first half of Adrien and Marinette's date goes off with many a hitch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things in life do not often go the way you plan.

This was something that Adrien already knew firsthand and would rather have not learned over again. In fact, if there were a night for everything to go right, then preferably it would have been the one that he set to go on his first date with Marinette on. If the universe had any sense of kindness, it would have allowed him that. But it didn’t, because despite being a world-famous model and a professional superhero, the world often seemed to conspire against Adrien Agreste.

He’d spent the whole night researching movies, picking an obscure fashion film with a romantic subplot that Marinette would definitely be interested in. He’d picked the perfect time, the perfect theater, and the perfect clothes for said event.

But things could never really be perfect. Unbeknownst to Adrien, a Chef had lost one of his Michelin stars that night and would be akumatized half an hour before his movie would start. Beknownst to him, the chef’s akumatization would last up until the end of their film, and his special power would be firing shrimp scampi at the people of Paris.

The results of said akumatization were the following: A text from Marinette asking if they could reschedule the viewing to later that night (impossible, seeing as how he’d booked tickets to the movie’s last showing), and no less than five showers for Adrien. But he wouldn’t let it get him down, he couldn’t let this opportunity slip through his hands.

Which was how Adrien Agreste ended up sneaking Marinette Dupain Cheng into his home around 7:30, careful not to alert his father’s watchdog of an assistant as he snuck her into his room to watch some movies before the night was over. Even though the girl seemed excited, he couldn’t help but admit that this was one of the stupidest things he would ever do. The chat on his phone between Nino, Alya, and him reassured him of this fact.

“Wow,” Marinette breathed as soon as the door closed behind her, “and Alya said that my balcony was excessive.” It was an act, of course, Ladybug had been in his room more times than he could count. Still, he had to admire just how genuine everything sounded.

“What, you mean a rock-climbing wall, skateboard ramps, and a Dance Dance Revolution machine from Japan aren’t the usual?”  He joked, earning him the slightest shoulder bump.

“Maybe amongst world-renown models…”

“Who would have thought that the international pretty boys club was a privileged few?” Adrien smiled, feeling a little more confident about his change in plans. “Couch is over there,” he informed her with a gesture towards it, “but movies are upstairs.”

“You pick out the movie, I have to text Alya,” Marinette shrugged, approaching his couch. “She’s having some difficulty with the homework.”

“Oh?” Evidently, Marinette forgot that there was no homework. It was obvious what she was up to, but he wasn’t too concerned about it. Sure, he thought that Alya would wait until after the date to begin texting, but considering the way she’d blown up his phone earlier that day, he wasn’t too surprised to hear that she’d been contacting Marinette as well.

Adrien quickly descended up the stairs to the second level of his room, making a beeline for the large section of DVDs that his library held. Thankfully, his father had brought a wide variety of movies for Adrien to watch, likely hoping that it would dissuade him from wanting to go outside. Of course, now that he went out whether or not his father wanted him to, the majority of the DVDs were unwatched. He scanned through them, mentally asking himself what Nino would do.

Nino had a taste for American movies, so his eyes drifted away from the French sorted titles and into the English ones. No one did movies like the United States, there were always massive explosions and exciting car crashes. Of course, Marinette wouldn’t really be into that stuff, and watching a romance movie felt like it’d raise expectations a bit. A comedy movie? He couldn’t imagine watching something like Shrek with Ladybug… Disney, then? Maybe something with big musical numbers?

Or a horror movie so she’ll snuggle a little closer, a devilish voice whispered in the back of his head; he could have sworn it sounded like Alya. She had suggested that they went to a horror movie at the theater originally.

“I mean, it couldn’t hurt,” he mumbled to himself, “not too scary, though.” He settled on a campy looking horror film, one with a cover that showed the killer right under the title so that there were no surprises.

Grabbing the movie as well as a nondescript comedy film, he leaned over the guardrails of the upper level to steal a glance at her. Strangely though, her demeanor had changed from the way she was just a few seconds ago, her body language tight as she furiously typed on her phone. Of course, he couldn’t see what she was typing from where he was, but he did catch a glimpse of the tight frown painted across her lips.

“Everything okay?” He asked, leaning a little bit further over the bars.

Marinette let out a yelp, accidentally smacking her phone to her nose.

“Marinette?”

“Of course!” She replied, looking to him with an overly broad smile that made him feel like she was anything but okay. “I think Alya’s just… Not understanding the context of the homework, so I’m trying to explain it to her. You know, like a good friend.”

“You’re a very good friend,” Adrien replied with a laugh. “Though I have to admit, hearing you talk to Alya about this assignment is a little worrying, I don’t remember getting any assignments lately.” He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Maybe I forgot?”

“Well, it’s one that Alya missed the other day.”

“That’s strange, I also don’t remember Alya missing any school lately,” he grinned, stepping down from the bars to descend the staircase.

“Well, you must not have realized. I mean, we sit behind you so…” Marinette attempted to look relaxed, but he could tell how uncomfortable she was with her lie. Her phone rumbled once more and her hand flew to it, pinning it against the wood with a nervous smile. What were they talking about?

“I actually look back pretty often, especially lately,” Adrien admitted, holding up both cases for her inspection as he exited the staircase. “Your choice for which movie goes first.”

Another buzz, Marinette gave her phone another slam like that would end the messages. “The one on the left,” she breathed hastily.

“Horror it is, then,” he muttered, approaching the tv and trying to ignore the way that she quickly picked up her phone, furiously typing to someone else. He sighed, locating his DVD player and opening the disk slot. It was a little disheartening to not hold her full attention on their first date, but he understood.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marionette’s eyes widen as her phone vibrated once more. Furiously, she stabbed the phone a few times.

By the time he’d turned around, however, she was holding the button to turn off her phone, visibly breathing heavily. Not exactly how he imagined that night going.

“S-sorry,” she stuttered.

“It’s fine,” he said, trying to push back the small tinge of worry that was rising in him.

Once the DVD was properly set up and play was pressed, he walked back to the couch, settling himself close to Marinette. She sat a little bit straighter as his thighs brushed against her, the pink on her cheeks providing just a little bit of relief to Adrien. She couldn’t be over him yet; there was still something there. Daringly, he shifted a little bit closer, his arm just about to wrap around her when--

Beep, Beep!

Blinking, he shifted and his hand reached for his back pocket. However, before he could even begin to approach his phone, Marinette’s hands laced through his fingers, her face painted a dark red.

“Don’t,” she mumbled.

“Marinette?” He asked.

Another beep and Marinette’s face turned darker if that was even possible.

“Marinette…?” He trailed off, looking down at how her then tightening hand. “I think you should let go, it might be something important.”

She sank into the couch, shaking her head wildly at him. “Don’t look at it, I’m begging you. Please don’t look at it.”

“I can’t just ignore it, what if it’s--”

“It’s not,” she interrupted. “Trust me, it’s not.”

“You don’t want me to look at the phone,” he acknowledged, taking in the mortified expression on her face. “Why, is it something bad?”

“Yes,” she grimaced.

“Embarrassing?”

She nodded.

He took her in, her tensed shoulders and pursed lips. He acknowledged the width of her eyes, the paleness to her skin, and the desperate way she clung to his hand. He saw all of it and he realized… He kind of liked it, just a little bit. Marinette was always nervous around him, of course, but he never really got to enjoy the effect that he had on her.

Knowing that she was Ladybug and knowing that Marinette would only put up with so much from Chat Noir, he sort of wanted to take advantage of his situation a little bit and watch her squirm. Was he a bad guy for that? Maybe but life was fun when you were bad every once in a while.

“I’m going to read it,” he announced, the corner of his mouth twitching. Marinette had just begun to launch into a long list of reasons why he shouldn’t do it, but curiosity would always win out when it came to Adrien Agreste.

A few things happened at once. Adrien’s free hand dove back into his jean pocket, digging his phone out. Marinette, seeing the danger, promptly reached for his wrist, attempting to stop him. And Adrien, not expecting the girl to be so bold with his civilian self, found himself tangled in her, his phone still in his hand but his body unable to bring it to his face.

Unbeknownst to Marinette, he was already pretty well versed in the whole ‘people trying to hold him down and take things out of his hands’ sort of thing. With what was likely a shit-eating grin, he took advantage of their situation, allowing himself to fall against the couch and take Marinette with him. His side flopped against the white leather, Marinette landing on his chest half a second later with a small squeak.

One glimpse at her flustered face and he couldn’t help but laugh, taking advantage of her nerves and managing to wrestle his hands out of her grasp. Triumphantly, he held his phone in front of his face, his thumb pressing against the on button only to…

“Hey!” He chuckled, bolting upwards as Marinette’s back fell against the couch, the prized phone in her grasp. Obviously, she had much to learn when it came to playfighting, such as never to let your enemy get you on your back.

Shaking his head to himself, he let himself fall on top of her. The splaying of his arms and legs ensured that he did not touch the girl, but effectively trapped her against the couch. Her eyes shut tight and her body wrapped protectively around the phone, she didn’t acknowledge him, except when...

PSH, another gust of air blew up Marinette’s nose. The girl’s eyes shot open, her limbs practically springing open and nearly causing her to drop the phone. The girl on the television screen screamed in the distance, but she couldn’t be experiencing even half of the terror Marinette was then.

“Boo,” Adrien breathed, his face lingering dangerously close to hers. It’d be so easy to bridge the gap and kiss her then, but somehow, he withheld.

Marinette released a whimper, her fingers flexing against the back of the phone.

Adrien glowed in response, another laugh dancing at the back of his throat.

He could have stayed like that forever, his green eyes gazing into her baby blues, her hot breath beating against his skin, the girl that he loved laying flustered beneath him. But Marinette couldn’t, that was evident. “It’s a joke,” she said, “Alya’s telling you a joke. Ha ha, it’s very funny but…” She shoved the phone towards his chest, obviously hoping that that would lure him away.

“You’re this worked up over a joke?” He asked, easily accepting the phone but not so easily pulled away from her. He sat back up on the couch, part of him noting that at least a quarter of the movie had gone by during their antics. Pressing his finger to the scanner, the phone unlocked.

“Well, it’s…” She swallowed, still laying on the couch beside him. “I…”

Hey Adrien, just trying to clear things up for Marinette here.

When you asked her to go out with you and spend time alone… That was a date, right?

He paled at Alya’s message.

“Crazy, right?” Marinette babbled beside him, her eyes glued to the ceiling as she didn’t dare move. “Absolutely insane.”

He couldn’t help the way that his heart dropped, and he couldn’t fight the way that his mouth grew dry. He stared so intensely at the message that it might as well have been tattooed inside of his eyelids. Was he stupid? Maybe a little bit, perhaps he’d gotten his hopes up too far and now Marinette would be rejecting both Adrien and Chat Noir. Just fun times between friends, that’s all this would ever be.

“Adrien?” She asked cautiously.

Give up, screamed the voice at the back of his head. That voice didn’t belong to anyone but himself, yet it felt like a chorus sung by the rest of the world. Still, he was a superhero, he was Adrien Agreste; and he was in love, that had to count for something.

“This is a date,” he readied himself for whatever would come next, “I’m trying to date you, Marinette, but you’re making it very hard.”

[garthups]

the maze, part I

Part One of the story! Very excited to post this. -Leslie

I kept the car running in park while the shitty vents sputtered, trying my hands warm. Your Love by that band from the eighties was playing in the distance. I have a love-hate relationship with these roped off grassy parking lots, where there aren't actual spaces, just car anarchy. Take any spot you can find and let’s all hope that some semblance of a parking lot comes together. Sure there’s something inherently egalitarian about it, but they remind me of being scared to park when I was learning to drive. I was always positive that my Camry was too far over, and I’d brace myself for the crunch of metal on metal. 

The familiarity of coming to the maze made parking in the lot easier, and I didn’t have to reverse and drive into the same spot over and over again to be satisfied. My friends and I came to Hudler Farm every October for the autumn corn maze. Sometimes we’d take caramel apples in and chaunk through them while meandering.

 Fuck, that was always so fun. High school seems like a lifetime ago though. All it takes are a few hundred miles, and staggered midterms, and suddenly you talk to the guy in the dorm next to yours who gets drunk on natty seltzer more than the people who got you through your mcr phase.

 None of us got together last year, which was a bummer, but out of the blue Lottie messaged Sam and me. I watched the shadowy families walk by in the dark, my hands weren’t getting any warmer though. The idle LEDs were dim enough that I could see outside. A little boy running after his parents tripped and fell in the mud. I stifled a chuckle, because kids falling down is hilarious, and tried to screw with the vents, but they were already all open. Piece of shit car. When I looked up, the boy was still splayed out on the ground, shivering. Both his parents kept walking though. I scrunched my brow. I started fidgeting with my seatbelt, but my hands didn’t have much feeling in them. People were just walking around him, like he wasn’t there. 

“WHAT’S up dog!” My door exploded open.

“JESUS fucking god Lottie, I--” She took her spot in the passenger seat, laughing her ass off.

“Sorry sorry sorry, wow Phoebs I got you pretty good huh?”

“I mean yeah I’m just so ready to get killed in this parking lot. Hey I think that kid hurt himself out there pretty bad.” I breathed, still shaken.

“What kid?”

“That one.”

“Oh that one, sorry it’s dark, so it took me a sec. Yeah let’s go help.” Honestly, I could never stay mad at Lottie. Seeing her new dreads in person made me miss the big buns she wore in high school. We slammed the doors shut, and stepped onto the ground covered in too-damp leaves. Two guys beat us to him though, and they were helping him up.

“Oh wait, is that the kid you meant?”

“Lottie, why would I be talking about a kid that isn’t sprawled out on the ground.”

“I thought this one was playing snake or something. Anyway, let’s go meet Sam’s friend!”

We walked over to the boys, Sam’s friend was getting the kid back on his feet. Sam’s friend was a good head taller than he was, which wasn’t saying too much. The guy gave off an eagle scout vibe though, so his height was probably pretty important to him. Maybe camp counselor would have been closer. He was gently reassuring the kid.

“Feeling better? Okay, better go catch your folks, and make sure not to stay too far behind them, bud, okay?”

“Good call man, I thought he was just playing snake.” Sam glowed.

“Sup fuckers!” Lottie sang. The boy turned around, he looked about nine, so Lotties curse made him bust a grin. From the looks of it he scraped his cheek pretty bad. He dashed off. Sam’s friend laughed nervously since Lottie broke the unspoken rule of swearing in front of kids.

“Hey dudes! It’s so awesome to see you!” Sam laughed. “I told Matrix everything about you, so there’s no need to divulge any information to him. Don’t trust this guy with any more embarrassing stories about yourselves.” Matrix waved shyly, and I rolled my eyes.

“That’s cool. You know we called Sam “Shrimpy” all of sophomore year because his hair got all curly and he dyed it red?”

“Thanks Phoebe, that is something I like people to know about me.” Sam said while subconsciously making sure his hair was still a tight buzz cut. Matrix smiled a little.

“You must be Lottie?”

“It’s great to meet you! Lets get some apples.” 

The four of us were waved through by the teen collecting tickets. The entrance to the maze had a little banner raised up on two poles and a chair with an admissions person. Next to the entrance was a main pavilion with a tiny shop and some picnic tables out under the roof. Lots of families were congregating there, buying souvenirs and farm t-shirts. Thankfully this wasn’t one of the maze theme nights according to a big promotional calendar that outlined all the dates. Lottie groaned when she saw that they added alien night and we hadn’t bought tickets.

“Like what does that even mean though. Are there aliens in the maze? Do they scare us?” Sam said eyeing the kettle corn buckets.

“Yeah I mean, it’s probably just like zombie night and mermaid night where you just get like jumpscared by teens in costumes. Freakin aliens though! Imagine!”

“Uhh did you say they do a mermaid night here?” Matrix said.

“Dude I never told you about that! You’re looking at the three scariest volunteer mermaid teens that Hudler farms has ever known. We were unholy legends flopping after scared families.”

Sam and Lottie were wide eyed crowding around Matrix, telling him all about the glory days. Made me pity him, his bud probably had a whole different energy at college.

“They’re fucking with you! Why in god’s name would a corn maze have a mermaid night.” I finally shouted. Lottie pouted.

“Boooooo Phoebe! How dare you!” I wrapped my face up in my scarf to escape guilt. 

We all mostly ate our caramel apples under the pavilion just so we could give Matrix the rundown of the maze. The Hudler farm maze has these eight checkpoints which give you special tickets. 

“We don’t leave without all eight. Got it? Dee oh en tee. I don’t give a fuck if we die trying.” Lottie said through a mouth of caramel and nuts. It felt surreal having my friends here again. After all, the limited exposure I had to them was social media. I lived vicariously through the photos they posted of new friends.

There was a sign in the pavilion that gave us a rough idea of where all the checkpoints in the maze were. I resisted the urge to take a photo in order to preserve the challenge that the maze posed. Probably didn’t need it to beat our best time. I was the only one who hadn’t finished their apple for traditions sake. Hopefully the caramel wouldn’t freeze though.

“Ok so let's remember to hit that cluster of checkpoints in the northern corner first. We're gonna take a lot of rights and then keep going on that long stretch forward.” I strategized.

“I’ll eat that apple if you’re not going to Phoeb, you know I’m psyched that they got pink ladies this year instead of grannies smiths.” Begged Sam.

“I did a few youth group trips to corn mazes, so this isn’t my first rodeo guys don’t worry!” Matrix added.

“That’s cool.” Phoebe said straight faced. I wanted to laugh, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

Before I could respond, I saw it. I inhaled slowly as I took in the scene before us. The moon was thin and most of the lights were under the pavilion itself, but I felt like I should’ve noticed something so wrong before.

“Why is the all corn so fucking tall.” The question, er -- statement hung in the air for a few seconds while the maze came into view for everyone else. Corn stalks get surprisingly tall late in autumn, maybe like ten feet. This stuff though. It was like, way way way too tall. And not irregular. So, regular. The maze looked like it could have been a trimmed hedge. All the stalks stretched up and up, reaching out for the sky, each of them trying to escape from the ground. I suddenly was at a loss, something so ordinary was wrong in such an obvious way. Finally, Lottie broke our silence.

“Shit.” Great. I mean, she wasn’t wrong.

“That’s amazing. God is it this tall every year? That’s the tallest corn I’ve ever seen, must be 30 feet! Maybe more.” Finally Matrix had found something to be upbeat about.

“Ahh no man. It’s like normal usually. Lottie are you feeling alright? Do you want to take a sec before we head in.”

Matrix jumped in. “Nothing to be worried about. I’m sure it’s just like GMO’s or something. Gotta up the yield. They should seriously lead with that in the advertising though. Corn jungle! Towering Corn! Feast your eyes ladies and gentlemen on the worlds first corn metropolis!” He broke the spell on Lottie with his campy broadcaster voice. She joined in: “Keep your dame close as you delve into the mysterious corn caverns, where the CORN DRAGON DWELLS.”

Matrix Chuckled. “Well I don’t know about that. Hard to deliver on a corn dragon. But look I’m sure it’s fine, everyone else doesn’t seem to mind.” It was true, the usual fare of families and teen groups were venturing into the maze without concern. I watched the family from the parking lot get a safety flashlight from the teen working the entrance. I breathed in through my teeth.

“For a second I thought you actually made jokes, scooter. You’re right, it’s probably just a good year for tall corn. We can go.”

“Phoebster, you good?” Sam nudged me. It honestly took me a second longer than Lottie to take in all the explanations. It was such a weird thing to be off in such a significant way. Must have been some primal instinct of being afraid of the dark. The corn stalks were darker than the night sky around them; I tried to catch glimpses through the stalks but they blanketed out the stars. 

“Yeah sorry about that guys. I’ll remember more of the strategy once we’re in the maze. Let’s blow through this thing!” 

We went into the maze.

[clownhara]

I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD

I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long

I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.

Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je

Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.

Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.

Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.

Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.

Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.

Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.

Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.

Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.

Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)

Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.

Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.

Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.

Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write

Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.

Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits

Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.

Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.

Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.

Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.

There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them

Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though