#hes a fictional character at the end of the day

[dreamerdrop]

[Image of tags from @k-ru-h reading: #and what if I said. This plays into his autism coding.]

It absolutely does and you should say it.

I wrote a short essay a while back (years back) on another fictional character who has similar incongruous traits, in her case, the fact that she came across as both being a wide eyed naive child younger than she was and then at other times seemed like a world-weary old lady who had experienced and accepted things no child should have even a comprehension of.

Julian is kind of (very, very) similar. I’m also autistic and I feel like most characters who get given two wildly contradictory traits that then exist simultaneously in some kind of harmony end up reading as autistic by default, because it’s just… a thing for autistic folk, especially when you start mixing in trauma.

(Are there autistic people without trauma? I have yet to meet any. Being autistic in a world that wasn't built for folks like us is traumatic in and of itself even without adding anything extra on top, but I’ve yet to meet anyone who didn’t get something extra on top.)

I’m sure there’s more eloquent people than I who could write coherently about why autism often manifests and displays symptoms as being akin to two completely distinct individuals crammed together into one semi-functional human being who is left in a state of constant turmoil because their brain is constantly telling them completely contradictory things about themselves, but I am certainly not eloquent enough to manage it myself.

I’d guess it might be related to existing in a world where you are constantly told your default state is incorrect and needs to be changed or fixed, that your natural responses are wrong, that you are constantly both overthinking or underthinking, and you just end up internalizing ideas that make no rational sense because you’ve been taught you can never trust your gut on anything ever, so you end up feeling like a shoddily constructed entity who can never be quite right no matter what you do.

Anyway I think Julian should have someone who wakes him up every morning by telling him how wonderful he is and then ends every day by reminding him that it wasn't his fault.

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)

[shalotttower]

Will-o'-the-wisp

Title: Will-o'-the-wisp

Fandom: Hunter x Hunter

Characters: Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader (female)

Summary: Reader encouters fae!Chrollo and breaks some rules along the way.

Word count: 1700+

Notes: yandere!Chrollo, fae!Chrollo, abduction, manipulation, AU, modern setting with fae, Chrollo is charming af and a bit creepy as usual, Reader is doomed long before they know it and slightly depressed

You walk home the same way every day, like many people do. There's comfort in routines. Comfort and security which you crave. The familiar routes, the repetitive programs on TV and the books you've read a million times. You like to know what happens next and hate surprises.

The fourteen-year-old you wouldn't approve.

Maybe even express a little pity, because she always thought you two were destined for an adventure, like in fantasy books you used to devour one after another. Every free second was spent reading or dreaming, but life went on and adventures didn't happen. The girl grew older, a lot more careful and a lot less hopeful.

When you finish work, it's usually around six. Your adult self is practical and prefers to save money on the bus, besides, every other time you take it, you end up having to stand, squeezed between people. It's not worth the frustration; a fifteen minute walk isn't that long and the crime rate in the area is low.

There's a small grove nearby that nobody has bothered to turn into a park. The residents made their own paths in time, put a few signs so the joggers wouldn't get lost, but that's it. Once or twice a month you stroll through there, picking up trash left on the side. People make you want to move to the woods altogether sometimes.

That's how the day starts or ends — with crossing a bridge which connects the grove to your neighbourhood.

And this is where you see him for the first time.

The man looks so out of place among the rustic wooden railings and rushing water below. Nobody wears this kind of clothes here. Expensive and elegant, something that blends well in a big city. They don't stare at passersby like he does either. You hate when people do that ─ block already narrow spaces by just stopping midway. Or groups who spread across the entire sidewalk.

"Excuse me," you say politely. Polite is good. Polite can be used as a shield and always makes you look better than you are. "I need to pass."

He smiles, then moves aside. "Of course."

His face is exactly what you imagine when thinking of pleasant: beautiful grey eyes with long lashes, pointed chin and a strange mix of delicate and sharp edges.

"Thank you."

The smile widens. "You're welcome."

---

It's time to accept that you've grown into an average person with a simple desire to live in comfort. Dreaming isn't your strength anymore, the last book you picked up was several years ago. Movies bore you fifteen minutes in, even if everybody else praises them; the idea of a relationship seems exhausting.

You do enjoy gardening.

Growing tomatoes is a far cry from distant fictional lands, but they taste nice with a pinch of salt.

The condo you live in doesn't have enough space and light, so you chose a small patch of ground in the grove to start a garden. A few tomato plants and some herbs like chives and basil. It might be illegal, yet nobody has come to yell at you. Most people don't pay attention to what's happening here, as long as you don't damage the trees or leave trash.

You water and prune, weed, add fertilizer if needed. There're some flowers too; mother told you that marigolds scare pests away from veggies and keep the soil healthy. They're pretty, little orange spots.

---

You find a crystal at you patch. Azure would be too bland to describe its color ─ maybe more like a mix of cerulean and moon stone. It's round in shape, polished so nicely that the outlines of your face are reflected in the surface. Did a magpie bring it? Or a kid? The thought of someone poking around your garden makes you frown. You hope they didn't step on your basil.

The stone is heavy and cool. You turn it around, entranced, before stuffing it into the pocket of your jeans. Maybe you can ask the neighbours' kids about it later.

"Would you look at that," you mutter and bend to inspect a tomato plant. Two green fruit, each no bigger than your knuckle, hang there, sprouted over the weekend. "Hello, my pretties."

---

You lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. It's past 1 AM, you should sleep; instead, you keep twisting the stone in the moonlight.

You asked kids from around here, but nobody claimed it.

Maybe it's a lucky charm, you've had a wonderful day. Got a call from your cousin in the morning, she has't contacted you in a long while and it was nice to catch up. After lunch, the resource manager praised your work, then an elderly lady from the store complimented your cardigan.

At a certain angle, the stone seems almost glowing. A summer night sky condensed into a tiny orb. Your fingers trace its smooth surface without much thought until eventually it drops onto the pillow by your side.

You don't notice when exactly you fall asleep.

It's the strangest dream you've ever seen.

Gone is the condo building with its stuffy kitchenette and old pipes that constantly rumble. Instead, you feel damp grass underneath your feet. Wind brushes through the hem of your nightdress, carrying the scents of rain and moss. So many shades of black and raven blue swirl together that you barely recognize a signpost nearby. It's the grove, but you've never seen it like this, as dark as it can be only at night.

It's uncomfortable to stand barefoot, with a chill creeping up your legs.

After a while your fingers touch the rough bark of a nearby tree to get a sense of direction, and you start walking, because there isn't anything else to do.

There's the bridge, you think. If you just get to the bridge, the rest will be simple.

You're walking there, or that's what you think when a small ball of light appears right before your nose.

Fireflies don't glow blue. It doesn't falter, doesn't flicker, coming up closer then farther like a pendulum. There's something uncanny and fragile about it. For a second you forget everything and stand mesmerized, until it starts moving.

Through the trees, past the branches, onwards.

It's more instinctual than anything ─ you don't want to be left here alone again, so you follow. Light is good, darkness isn't. The ground becomes more uneven as you go, the grass changes to moss, but you can barely register anything at this point apart from that lonely glow. It halts at times as if making sure you're keeping up.

Is that a clearing ahead? Your eyes hurt from trying to focus.

The blue dot continues to float, never speeding up, never falling behind.

Then it disappears.

No. Not disappears ─ settles on the tip of a pale finger.

There's your tomato patch, your plants, the empty box that you forgot to take back to the condo.

But it's impossible.

Your garden should be not very far from the border, yet it feels like you've walked through half of the grove by now.

Why is he here?

"It took you a while," he says, the stranger from the bridge whose eyes made you pause before you caught yourself. "I was waiting, my dear."

Maybe you shouldn't ask. Maybe the wisest thing would be to turn around and run. You step back and trip on a root which somehow snuck between the moss. He catches your hand before you fall and doesn't let go. Instead his thumb caresses your skin in leisurely strokes.

There's a faint scent of lilies coming from him, and something else. Something heavy, equally sweet that lingers on the edge of cloying and enticing.

Smells aren't supposed to be so strong in dreams.

"I need to go."

"Where?"

This simple question asked in an equally plain tone makes you falter. What does he mean 'where'?

"Home," you say softly and try to free your hand again without success. The man leans in close enough that you can see his face, illuminated by that blue light.

"And where is home?"

"I-" you swallow. "I have to go."

He releases you with surprising ease; you don't waste any time rushing towards the path. The long walk has exhausted you, and the lack of light makes it difficult to tell which turns to take. You stumble multiple times. The hem of your nightdress catches a few twigs. You sprint past the trees, past the low bushes along the familiar trail, and it's there, suddenly in front of you: the wooden bridge.

Out of breath, you grab the railing. And then open your eyes on the same side where you started.

How?

Again and again, you dash across it, yet every time there's a single step left to cross over the stream, the view shifts. Your feet land at the beginning of the bridge. On the ninth time when it's impossible to run any longer, you press your forehead to the railing. Every breath feels short and raspy.

"That's enough, dear."

"What is this?" You grip the planks with trembling hands. "I don't understand. Why can't I-"

A coat falls over your shoulders; you clutch at it mindlessly, because it's warm and you're shaking all over.

"You thanked me. Claimed my land, charmingly audacious of you. Such care and love, right under my nose."

There's no malice in his voice. Gently, finger by finger, he uncurls the tight grip of your hand. The stone is there, cerulean blue like summer sky condensed into a tiny orb.

"Took my gift and kept it close to your heart."

It takes some effort but eventually you manage to speak. "I didn't," you whisper urgently, despite the shiny proof in your palm. "I didn't know! Take it back."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that."

"I didn't know!"

He lifts you in his arms when your knees give out and you sink to the ground, still gripping that damned stone. His coat carries the same distinct scent of lilies and heavy sweetness. The sceneries you dreamed of when younger pop in your head, like old postcards covered with dust, of mystical beings hidden from human eye, fantastical places no one has seen, grand adventures where heroes defy impossible odds and come out victorious.

Those were tales for the brave and imaginative. You're neither.

"It doesn't matter. The land claims you," he says. "And so do I."

[imaluvsj7]

緑 ──── SECRET GLANCES & SWEET CONFESSIONS ; sunghoon enhypen

SYNOPSIS: sunghoon has a deep rooted crush on the reader but is too afraid to confess

GENRE : fluff ; WC: 1,403

WARNINGS : english is not my first language, not proofread yet, mention of reader being a little shorter than hoon, stalking term mentioned only once but there is no stalking plot in the story, that's all ig please inform if you find any.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

written in third person pov:

Entering the class you look out for your table where you usually sit only to see, Jake sitting there. Which was weird since you guys had your own fixed places, not through the professors but due to the daily sitting arrangements and habits.

Shrugging the thoughts you make your way to the last bench while getting comfortable you remove your required materials for the respective class.

Soon the profesor walks in and starts to teach while everyone follows him noting down whatever he was teaching but to be (not so) unknownst there was a pair of eyes who was busy admiring diagonally a certain person rather than focusing in front of him.

That certain person was you while the curious pair of eyes belonged to Sunghoon, the shy but loud introvert of the class. He was busy admiring the details of your today's hairpins and the style of outfit you chose to wear.

Admiring from afar Sunghoon did realize after noticing for months, how you love to style your outfits and add some accessories. Some days they are pearl jewelleries, other days it's a bow but today it was a cat paw printed hairpin.

At this point Sunghoon knows your favorite food from the cafeteria but he is still curious about what you like outside the cafeteria. Sunghoon knows your favorite subject, Sunghoon knows your favorite book from the library, Sunghoon knows everything you like or dislike during college hours.

Although he never tried to look out after college hours to not make you uncomfortable or put himself as a stalker but he was curious how you live outside the college, surely he was a whipped guy but way too scared to make a move.

His bestfriends, Jake and Jay tried to convince him and motivate him to confess or maybe just make a small move but he becomes a stuttering mess as soon as he speaks about you— oh the flushing cheeks oh his that turn crimson red when you both make eye contact.

The reason Jake sat on your seat was to give Sunghoon and opportunity to talk to you but the guy was lost between the overflowing river of thoughts. He wondered if anyone knew about his ‘admiration’ for you.

But only if he knew, it was not unknown to anyone in the class that Sunghoon has a deep rooted crush on you, even you know. It was pretty obvious, he was really bad at hiding through that toothy grin which showed his natural fangs and flushed cheeks.

Some people even questioned why he was stuck at you but couldn't make a move, don't think it in a negative way. It wasn't anything related to your popularity or face but many people liked him and some also had a crush on him not only for his visuals but his kind gestures. He ended up politely rejecting them.

People were just curious and concerned if he doesn't make a move then what if he loses the opportunity to be with you. Sometimes these thoughts scare him too, what if you end up liking someone else. Shaking his head he pushed the thoughts aside while focusing on you— opps, your hairpins.

Feeling someone's gaze on your back you turn your head and catch yourself in eye contact with Sunghoon, who soon lowers his head with a flushed cheeks feeling embarrassed getting caught. Soon he scratches his adam apple while looking up only to realize this time you're looking at him.

‘Hi’ – you whisper to him while slightly waving your hand along with a small smile that lights up Sunghoons eyes. His eyes began to sparkle, shooting you his toothy grin showing his fangs while returning your small wave muttering a small ‘hi’ while his cheeks flushed crimson red.

Your smile widens into a grin while raising your left eyebrow at him, he shakes his head in response, his grin never fading. You turn your back at him while his eyes lose the sparkles and his grin turns into a flat line.

Soon his grin returns after you look at him but this time throwing a small piece of paper ball near his foot pointing him to pick it up. ‘Meet me after the class ends in the lobby’ — the paper read. Sunghoons ear turns deep red while he looks up and nods his head at you.

Impatiently waiting for the class to end he bounces his leg, as soon as the bell rings and the professor leaves he jolts from his seat while walking into the lobby waiting for you to come outside.

Arriving in the lobby you search for him soon meeting his eyes, ‘Shall we go to the parking lot, the lobby is very noisy?’- you ask him the question after reaching him. He looks behind you to inform Jake about his absence but the boy who was observing the scene already along with Jay who has walked out of his own class, they both eagerly nod their head for whatever reason while Jake squeals for his friend with his big smile.

‘Sure’- is all he mutters as you grab his wrist and walk down to the parking lot while Sunghoon looks at his wrist blinking to make sure he is not dreaming. Soon after arriving at the parking lot you make him stand near your car while looking at his height.

“I'm not gonna twist my words so let's talk straight Sunghoon”- your statement settles a negative feeling in his stomach but he nods his head. “Till when are you gonna keep looking at me in every corner of college or you are going to make a move I'm tired of waiting okay.” His eyes widen at your boldness but he soon smiles and says “Uhh,,,, you know about my admiration.”

“You stupid — you flick his forehead with your fingers while he winces and rubs his forehead — me, you and everyone in our class knows about your obvious ‘admiration’ which you can call crush you know.”

“Oh,,, so do you,,,you know,,, you also” there he goes as a stuttering mess in front of you. “Before my answer I want you to finish your sentence and tell me how you feel while looking at me.”- you demand while looking at him with a small frown and a small pout.

“I have seen and observed and even some of our classmates have told me but I want your words Sunghoon, I need the confirmation before we move forward with anything.” - sensing your concern he quickly clears his throat and gains his confidence and looks at you properly while slowly holding your hand in his.

“___ I have liked you for almost a year now, sounds pathetic I know but I never dared to make a move because I was shy to stand near you and say anything but I really admire you, I always want to know you and your habits outside college. I want to be the person you send your daily ootds and ask me for the hidden details in them. I want to be the person you feel proud to call your boyfriend. I know I have my flaws but I can always work on them if you want to help me. I will try my best to be the best version of myself for us. Please give me a chance and accept me as your boyfriend.”

His eyes shine with tears of relief, he has finally confessed his feelings for you. He looks at your smile while you place your hand on his cheeks wiping his tears away. “Why are you crying oh my god you are adorable and of course I want you to be my boyfriend. Gosh I was waiting for this day. I like you too hoonie.” “Thank you for waiting for me”- he says softly while trying to reach out for a hug but to make sure you're comfortable.

Observing him you pull him close while hugging him and placing your chin on his chest. You both smile to yourself while not noticing the 2 pairs of eyes who were peeking to look out for his friend but now they both are hugging each other with big grins while Jake puts his phone in his pockets after the recording ends, Jay pulling his hands while they both walk out of the parking lot happy for their bestfriend.

꩜ .ᐟ NOTE : i hope you liked my first written fanfiction i have started writing after approximately 2 years so let's see what's more coming although i will be very slow with postings,,,, also i just wanted this fic to be hoon being a secret admire with title ‘subtle glances’ but here we are i wrote the whole story with a different plot ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

꩜ .ᐟ NOTE : comments to be added into my permanent taglist (i haven't made the taglist yet)

˙ . ꒷ 🍰 masterlist taglist. 𖦹˙—

࣪

[thatmexisaurusrex]

I think what really gets me is what the show is telling us through that breakup. That's what hurts the most.

It's that a queer person who's sad, who's alone, who's never had a stable family life; a queer person who's only gotten to a point where they're happy with who they are later in life; a queer person who yearns for a family, for love, for being someone's first choice but doesn't believe he can ever have those things; a queer person who has obviously been burned and believes that is the only outcome for him now; that no one would want him as family. That no one would love him enough to choose him first.

He walks out that door.

Alone. Scared. Spiraling. Reacting to trauma rather than Buck himself. It's seeing that and having the show tell us, yes, that's what he deserves. That's all he gets. He doesn't get a happy ending. He doesn't get good closure. He doesn't get to believe that someone wants him enough to fight for him.

Tommy was right all along.

All his fears were true and will be what he ends up with. Older queer people who want families and are scarred by their own past experiences don't get love or a family. They don't get a place to call home.

Then, you have Buck; Buck blindsided by the trauma; Buck seeing his entire six-month relationship fall apart and just letting it happen to himself again. Having yet another person in his life, in a moment of cowardice and pain, quietly and brokenly lash out that he couldn't believe Buck would actually take this seriously; that he couldn't believe that Buck would love him once the pedestal was gone and the shininess wore off. That, once again, Buck lets his relationship play out without any idea of how to be active in it. That someone Buck loves, that he thought about possibly marriage with one day, that he wants to live with, leaves him.

That Buck, once again, is abandoned.

That Buck can't know himself.

That the show wants to lean into lazy biphobic ideas and tell us, yes, that's what Buck deserves. The thriving relationship that he had crumbles within minutes because Buck doesn't get to be happy; how can he know what happiness is if he isn't playing the field? Because nothing he did before Tommy counted. Buck 1.0 didn't count. None of his previous relationships counted. Because they were all ladies, and how can you know if you've only been with one man?

Telling the audience that you can't be happy in a relationship if it's somehow a "first", despite everything pointing to the relationship being solid and good for Buck.

It is the worst possible scenario.

It is a nightmare for both Buck and Tommy.

Both messages are terrible for the audience.

There were so many ways they could have broken up and I would have been fine with it. I've talked about it before, but I was fine with Josh and Arnold breaking up in Please Like Me and I still love the show. I watched episodes with Josh and Arnold from Please Like Me as a comfort when I was reeling about this that first night! I was fine with Alexis and Ted breaking up on Schitt's Creek and I was still fine with the show. I was okay with Amelia and Kai breaking up and I'm still watching Grey's Anatomy. Because all of those breakups were understandable. They made sense. I can like couples and be okay with them not working out. And they're fictional. Fictional shit rarely hurts me, if ever. That's not my problem at all here.

It's how this happened. It's the message it signals to the audience. It's devastating. I'm still devastated by the choice. I've never felt this way about a breakup for two characters ever. The core of my grief and genuine hurt is what the show proves it believes in through this breakup. And that's what's hurt me.

[balkanradfem]

So I've been looking to read some books about living in nature, written by women, to get an idea of how it goes in practice, and the first book I found was 'The Great Alone' by Hannah Kirstin. It was about a family who decided to move to Alaska and live self-sufficiently, and it was written from the point of view of the daughter, Leni. I did not realize right away that this was a piece of fiction! However I do want to tell you about this book because something very specific happened in it that made me have.. ideas.

Right on the first page, it was spelled out to me clearly that this is a story about domestic violence. The father was drinking, had ptsd from war, sometimes 'blew up', and I was like, oh, I know what that is. Okay, let's see what happens then.

The father decided to move them all to Alaska because a buddy who died in the war left him a cabin there, and he wasn't earning money to pay rent, so Alaska it is. He talked his wife into it, promising that he will 'be better over there', and I'm like yeah sure you will.

I have to say, at the beginning this book was just heavily enabling me. They went over to Alaska and everyone was saying 'you need to prepare for winter immediately', even though it was spring, and they were bewildered. People were coming to help them to build a garden and homesteading infrastructure. And I'm looking at that like hell yeah I'm already 100% introduced to this, I am prepairing my garden from January, as soon as spring hits I am looking for food to can, dry, cure, I'm filling my stash from the moment cherries arrive. I'm certified to live in nature. (I'm not, I'm just entertaining myself with this fiction).

Alaskan winter is long and dangerous, and somehow these folks were already at the end of their food stash by the end of January, which is so early. They were in trouble, had no money, it was cold, Alaskan winter also brings 18 hours of darkness a day, so everyone was bummed and anxious. As you can imagine, the father found himself some alt-right conspiracy theorists to hang out there and drink with, every day they were talking about the government or minorities 'coming for their land' and prepairing to shoot people at the moment's notice, so it's no wonder he became more violent, aggressive and dangerous to his wife and child. He would end up beating his wife, and she would forgive him, and the daughter watching all this felt insane and desperate to save her mother. But there was no help, no police, nobody could even reach them in the deep winter, they had no food, they relied on him to catch something in the forest.

This is where the story got interesting. 

He breaks her nose, and the daughter decides that's enough, takes her mother into the car, and they escape. They crash. Daughter seeks help. They end up in a hospital. Father finds them and cries and promises to never do it again. Mother forgives him, seemingly out of fear that he's going to start killing people if she leaves him. Alaskan folk now know that she is being abused, because of her bruises and broken nose. And something unexpected happens.

One of the first Alaskan characters introduced in the story is Large Marge, a big woman owning a shop where she trades food and other survival goods. She is strong, resourceful, down to earth, incredible, helpful in every possible way. She is our star. Because once the word is out about the abuse, and the domestic violence family is back in the cabin, she comes over. She tells them all to sit the hell down, like she's a parent sorting out her unruly children. She then tells this story:

'I used to be a lawyer. Big city prosecutor. High heels and designer suits. I loved it. And I loved my sister, who married the man of her dreams. Only he turned out to have a few problems. A few quirks. Turned out he drank too much and liked to use my baby sis as a punching bag. I tried everything to get her to leave him, but she refused. Maybe she was scared, maybe she loved him, maybe she was as sick and broken as he was. I know that when I called the police it was worse for her and she begged me not to do it again. I backed off. Biggest mistake of my life. He went after her with a hammer. We had to have a closet-casket funeral. He claimed he'd taken the hammer from her to protect himself. The law isn't kind to battered women. He's still out there. Free. I came up here to get away from all that.“ She looked at the abuser. ''And here you are.''

The tension was insane. Everyone tried to get a word in, but she shut then down, and then she looked at the abuser again. ''We've talked about your situation here, we have a few solutions, but really, our favourite one is where we take you out and kill you.''

And I am reading this like oh my god. That's the freaking solution. It doesn't need to be that complicated. We just need someone who is 100% done with this shit who takes him out and shoots him. Problem solved. You hit your wife? Out and shot. Bye loser. Nobody losing sleep over you anymore.

I would love to tell you that she did take him out and shoot him, of how would I love to tell you that. I prayed it would happen as soon as the option was presented to me. However she told him he is either being taken out and shot, or he is leaving, getting a job and then providing money for his wife and daughter, and not returning until the spring comes again, which, he agreed to, since the alternative was to be taken out and shot. But I was still saying we should shoot him. She then decided to stay with the mother and daughter to keep them safe and fed during the winter. Like the hero she fucking is.

So, I haven't read this entire book yet, this is the middle of it, I have to go back and read the other half in order to know what happened next, but, I love this, I love the author, I love the representation of domestic violence and cycle of abuse, and how it is to be a female child in this situation, I love Large Marge, I love the resolution she provides, we need her, someone please, put her in reality. I want to be her, I want to barge into people's home and make death threats to abusers. To randomly stumble on a book like this is incredible to me. Thank you women for writing books. I love you all.

[thewistlingbadger]

I just want to add a few notes to this

I am not anti meljay or anti mel. Mel is such a fantastic badass and I heavily dislike how overlooked she is by the fandom. MelJay are a very cute ship and I want to see them develop.

If it were up to me, mel, jayce, and Viktor would ALL be together. I ship MelJay AND I ship JayVik.

There is no one way to ship a ship. It's fiction; you get to interpret things the way you want to based on how you feel. One ship might be OTP for you, or it could just be a fun dynamic you want to see more of, etc. You can interpret things based of the evidence provided

We cannot ignore the foundation of Jayce and Mel's relationship and we cannot ignore a part of Mel's character. In season one, Mel IS very manipulative. She is plotting from the moment we see her, and that's one of the reasons I like her. She's sneaky! She's got all of piltover wrapped around her finger and she did so with ease! Jayce was one of those people she had wrapped around her finger. She played into his ego and self doubt to boost him up, and this is what the show shows us on the surface. She pushed him into the role of councilor, a role he didn't want, for her own selfish reasons. Although Mel isn't a saint (no one is in the show) we also see she's not evil. Most of what she does is just to boost herself up in society. We see her character start to change the more time she spends with Jayce. His company is making her a better person. That's what the show shows us. The show also shows us that Mel's company is also having positive effects for Jayce. He feels less alone and overall the both of them comfort each other and that's a really powerful thing to have in your life- a person that makes you feel safe and calmer.

Personally? I think Mel can do much better than Jayce and maybe she'll always be content with him and maybe she won't. What does it matter? It doesn't. It doesn't matter whether or not they get married and ride off into the sunset or whether they end up breaking up on good terms. It doesn't matter, at least not to me.

At the end of the day, this post was entirely my opinion. And I said so several times within the post. As an Internet user, we should all know by now that if we see something we don't like we either scroll away, block a user or block tags. I've had several people insult me and make baseless claims about the content of my character just because of what I wrote. Had they just had the jayvik tag, they wouldn't have even seen this post!

In conclusion: no I'm not anti mel. No I'm not anti black. No I'm not anti meljay. No I don't care whether meljay OR jayvik becomes endgame. I don't WANT either of them to be endgame, but ultimately if meljay becomes endgame I won't care I'll go about my life happy that the ship got more content. No I didn't make this post to get a rise out of people. I literally started shipping meljay and jayvik only a few days ago. I had no IDEA this would be the reception my post would get. No I'm not bad at tagging this post WAS about meljay AND jayvik. No I'm not getting rid of this post. Anyone else that wants to reblog and make a villain out of me is just getting instantly blocked and that's that.

I really like Mel and Jayce's relationship because I think they're a great source of comfort for each other, but they're not endgame for me. They can't be due to the foundation of the relationship. I don't think Mel Merdarda loves Jayce Talis fully and unconditionally and that's completely acceptable. She doesn't have to. Jayce Talis is not there to be her husband. He's there to be her pawn. It just so happens that he was a pawn that she got too close to emotionally, a pawn she just so happened to have some level of care for. So yes, I like them, they're cute, but they're not everything. JayVik is everything. JayVik is coming home to your bed after a long trip that was pleasant but filled with hotel mattresses. JayVik is realizing that you had what you wanted the entire time. JayVik is being too late to save the day but still charging in like a hero.

[cowboylikeyouu]

i finally watched the making of deadpool & wolverine and wrote down every thought that popped up into my mind while watching, have fun lol

god hugh jackman is gorgeous

they’re talking about all the different ideas they had for this movie and honestly??? i would eat up every single one of them they should still do it lol

god hugh jackman is GORGEOUS

man i missed them sm i haven’t watched dp&w in TWO MONTHS?????

i will never shut up about the deadpool suit in this movie it’s SO AWESOME it’s a blessing for my eyes every time it’s on screen

"that’s what we were striving for with rdj in endgame, is to give this iconic fictional character an amazing ending." yeah well only that endgame‘s ending SUCKED and i will never forgive anyone for it <3

ugh hugh jackman is gorgeous

i could watch him speak forever

i‘m SO glad ryan made that "i should use his body as a weapon" pitch bc GODDAMN that opening scene will never get old

ahhhhhh i love that we‘re getting some insight in the stunt/fight stuff, SO interesting !! the shitty iphone test videos are hilarious

they should’ve made a "he ACTUALLY broke his toe when he kicked that helmet!!!!" reference when ryan kicked logan‘s skull lmao

the marry puppins SNOGGING ryan bts clips will never get old lmao funniest shit ever

THE SUIT LOOKS SO GOOD UGHHHH am i having a gender or a sexuality crisis over it???? guess we’ll never know

EMMA CORRIN ILYSM

shout out to british people gotta be one of my fav genders fr

all the different lines ryan screamed out of the honda????😭😭 honestly they should’ve just kept all of these idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN

"and i knew the fans would love it" ohhh hugh i think we all love it a bit too much

"and yet, i wouldn’t say wolverine is a straight man" awesome, thanks, case fucking CLOSED.

"which i don’t recommend, sending a 10 minute voice memo to anyone"

*me looking at the five 10-20 minute voicemails i send my friends every single day*

THE SUITS LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER (their asses do as well)

GOD hugh jackman is gorgeous

"what we refer to as the van fight" no babe that’s the honda odyssey sex marathon actually!!

"violence is our love language" ITS CONFIRMED (everyone knew. BUT STILL)

choreographing this scene (all the deadpool vs wolverine fight scenes really) must’ve been SO FUN like UGH just coming up with all this violence knowing that it won’t affect your characters in the long haul and you can add of many of it as you want????? THE DREAM

THEM HUGGING IN THE HONDA???😭😭 brb gotta cry

I LOVE YOU EMMA CORRIN

CHRIS EVANS LOML

it’s unfair how attractive he is i‘m gonna throw up

reminder to myself to finally learn johnny‘s monologue i wanna be able to randomly hit people with it

OHHHH i actually did NOT realize that was hulk‘s bed from ragnarok??? which is weird bc i used to watch that movie religiously. but hey that’s so cool!!

channing tatum talking about gambit is so heartwarming man so happy for him😭

jennifer garner is so pretty i‘m so gay lord help

me

dafne keen‘s voice sounds SO different when she’s not playing laura, CRAZY

EMMA CORRIN MY LOVE

just once just ONCE i wanna walk through a street filme set like this UGH it looks so cool & surreal

"this is our baby yoda" i have to be this annoying person i‘m sorry but HIS NAME IS GROGU

i don’t know shit about music but i could listen to people talk about movie scores for hours on end (how did you know sideways is my fav youtube video essayist???)

good fucking god hugh jackman is gorgeous

lmao they should’ve kept the "zoooombies wake uuuppp" again, idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN ‼️‼️‼️

ohh hugh jackman is gorgeous (put your greasy tits away you preening slut)

ugh i‘m getting emotional help

well that was awesome, gonna cry myself to sleep now byeee

(have i mentioned how gorgeous hugh jackman is?)

[soldearestsoulmate]

Sol literally already SA'ed MC in the old build it just wasn't as "extreme" or whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Using someone's hand to get off while they're asleep is SA because well. You didn't exactly consent to doing that yea? I really wish we had more extreme depictions of yans because. Well. You wouldn't realistically want a yan after you irl and people woobify the yandere archetype too much without considering just how fucked up and mentally ill a person has to be to be like that

People who are saying this is ooc just haven't been paying attention plainly and haven't put thought into Sol as a character and what lengths he would go to

(Excuse me dumping my thoughts my interest in this game returned with the new update and I like talking </3)

@rite-of-defilement

SPOILERS WARNING

Warning for mention of sexual assault.

Exactly. Guess people were fine with it as long as it was easy to ignore. But now that it's more clear as day, people are acting like it's the end of the world, and want it erased all together now.

I swear this might be a case of them loving a fanon or their own version of Sol more than how he really is canonly now.

And yeah, you don't want a real yandere after you irl. It's not cute like fiction, its real scary serious stuff. Which is why we safely explore and play with it in fiction, you know, in a fictional world and playground. Where we can have fun with it, and not get hurt or put ourselves in real danger compared to irl.

Agreed, I already knew from the beginning Sol was a fucked up little(tol) guy. The sleeping pills and breaking into your home to steal your stuff alone was enough signs. And even in the sfw version, the implications of what was happening or gonna happen. I felt were pretty clear...

One doesn't just drug someone else for just "innocent cuddles time". Some fucked up shit was going on there, just the screen went to black to let your dark imagination fill in the rest.

(It's no problem! I am in the same boat too pretty much. lmao)

[wildwolf-fandoms]

I never was this angry about something, especially an animation media but omg i saw the leaks

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIR PENTIOUS WEBT TO HELL JUST BECAUSE HE DİDN'T STOP JACK THE RIPPER???? AM I TRIPPING? DİD I MISUNDERSTOOD IT??

ARE TELLING ME THEY TOOK THE NAME OF A SERIAL KILLER WHO NEVER BEEN CAUGHT, RUINED SO MANY LIVES ABD STILL ANONYMOUS TO THIS DAY; JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE A SOB STORY ABOUT THEIR FUCKING SERPENT OC??? ARE YOU TELLING ME TURNED THE TRAGEDİES OF VICTIMS, WHOS SOULS/GHOST WATCHING US RN, ABOUT THEIR MAN BABY ANGEL UWU CHARACTER???

THEY COULD HAVE MADE A FİCTİONAL KILLER, THEY COULD'VE USED FİCTİONAL VICTIMS. THEY COULD'VE USED A FİCTİONAL NAME. BUT INSTEAD THEY USED REAL TRAGEDİES!!

So where is Jack, huh, Vivzie? What happened to him? İs he at Hell, waiting to be redeemed because he has a sob story, or is he at Heaven already, redeemed and enjoying second life or whatever? Where are the souls of his victims? Do you think they will be happy to see their killer who got away with and given an anonymous name at the same place as them? Will Jack attend to the Hotel too? Will we watch him make violent and horny 2020 vibe jokes on screen too? While also being a skinny blonde with a suit, bowtie and having an Alastor the Second type of personality? Will he fight Lute and go "I'm Jack and i'm gonna end your fucking life"? Will he get "redeemed" two episodes later and his victims will be all sunshines and smiles?

Pls True Crime Community is already disrespecting victims right and left, we don't need to witness Vivzie's shit ass show to do the same too 😭😭

[selene-moonie]

One of the greatest things about stories is that they can make you fall in love with a fictional somebody.

Erwin Smith was the first man I loved from AOT. I have a thing for fictional blondes (a la Reiner, Chat Noir, Sanji etc), but something about his calm insanity was so attractive. He was a gambler yet organised, collected, and determined on the outside. All of these are true aspects of him, but a big part of his decision to go to Shiganshina was to fulfill his own dreams. Yes, it aligned with what the Scouts needed, which was more information on the titans, but he was so close before his end.

But yeah. I think it was the organised, collected, adaptable character of his that I fell in love with. He wasn't a crackhead on the outside. He wasn't a problem. He laid out things as best as possible and managed them as best as possible. That's really hot.

I remember thinking, "Would smash," by the end of season one. Then in season two, that stunt he pulled with the female titan? Ugh it ate down. Manz really took everyone to that forest and lied about where they were going. And it was just to take down the female titan. I simply ate it up.

In season 3, when his arm was eaten, he still kept moving forward, and all I could hear was AKB48 shouting, "MASSUGU SUSUME!" in the back of my mind. I was screaming mentally. I couldn't stop talking about how cool he was for days. DAYS.

And then that man got up and met the beast titan anyway. He kept moving forward. Even as he knew he was going to die. After that conversation with Levi, Erwin Smith, just meters away from fulfilling his life-long dream, died to let others keep moving forward.

To date, he is still one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He'll always be.

[lucyskywalker]

I’m actually very curious to know why you don’t like jonsa! my reasons for example are: their fandom is acting way too insane for a ship that never happened and won’t ever happen; kit harington is unfortunately ugly. what are yours?

There are so many reasons that I dont even know how to begin with.

Alright. Let's go.

1st reason: It is only solely based on the show, and I really mean that. When you get to read metas and posts surrounding the ship, u realize these people never opened the books, while traying to pretend they did. I'm not being entitled. It is just obvious with what they write. Everything is taken out of contest. Especially surrounding Jon's pov and his lack of relationship with Sansa.

+ I despise the show. The only good thing about D&D's creations were the Dragons CGI and the dothraki and valyrian language, and it ends there. Out of it, everything sucks. They have rewrote all the female character in such a sexist and ridiculous way that I can't even start explaining for you.

2nd. I ship jonrya. Ik it is not everyone's cup of tea, but I do. And no. Idc if they become canon or not. I like the concept. I love their relationship. And I love what they can become. Now why the fact I ship Jonrya actually matters? Well, specially after season 7, a lot of Jonsa fans started taking things from Jon PIV that were about his love for Arya, and make it be about Sansa, with ridiculous excuses for their takes. The most commun and easy example being "What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?" When Jon asks Melissandre, he is referring to Arya. And no. It is not a different interpretation. It is about Arya he is talking about. Another one was "Would you bed your sister?" And Again Jon thinks about Arya, but when you read Jonsa's metas; they say he is thinking about Sansa. Another common Jonsa take is that Jon died for his men in the books, or for Sansa, when again, this is not the case. He died for Arya. And that is explicit on the text with no room for other interpretation. No wonder why the last thing he tought was about her.

Jonsas straigh up lie about what happens in the books to support their takes, or they just read metas here on tumblr and believe it. Idk and neither do I wish to know.

Not only that. They started behaving as they had a moral high ground over jonerys and jonryas... when they don't, it is still incestuos and still problematic to modern standards - not only that, they behave entitled to this day, and attack Jonrya shippers and Jonerys shippers in a real coward way.

Many, many times, I received anon hate telling me to *kms*, slit my wrists. Someone even wished for me to get raped over a fictional ship.

My disdain over the ship is not only with the ship itself, hence taking a lot of Jon's dynamic and bound with Arya to give it to Sansa, which is really important in both of their stories and arc, but mostly about the fandom, and how I was affected by it. If it was treated only like a crackship (what book wise, actually is), as my beloved hitsukarin from bleach, I would have no problem with it.

But the community is far one of the most toxic ones I have ever seen or been in contact with. Actually, dealing with them heavily impacted my mental health.

3rd. I really didnt like Sansa way before dealing with the fandom. Since my favorite is Arya, the way Sansa treated her never vibed with me. (And no. It isn't normal sibling behavior. I am an older sister. I would never do half of the things Sansa have done, not even on 11). After book 1, I felt pity for her, but she still was the last interesting character for me, even if her Vale story was.... I guess, more berable.

After getting into the fandom, tho, Jonsas and Stansas ruined Sansa for me in every possible way as well to the point I read her chapters and I won't feel any kind of enjoyment in her journey or her character. She is my least liked character, not because "she is the most horrible person in the books" (she is not. She is far from being that. ) but because her fans made me feel terribly bitter about her. It is not logical or fair, but again, I'm not trying to be.

[fleurbies]

how it feels watching all the jace anons going crazy in my fav fanfic authors anons,,like bro just enjoy the content nd stop debating if he’s better as a virgin or not 😭😭

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[chappellcastiel]

Nothing drives me more crazy then seeing people take away skills from Arthur he would have to know and giving them to Merlin to teach him.

Like wdym Arthur can’t read?!?! He would be one of the only people that actually knew how. I’ve seen fics where Merlin tells Arthur about stars and while I kinda of see it Arthur would already know a good deal about them it’s how he has to navigate.

seen someone write that he didn’t know what to say to a group of people because Merlin usually told him and I burst into tears. Because did you watch the show in a different language with your eyes close wdym Arthur can’t speak infront of people he does it all the time😭

Or the one where MERLIN teaches Arthur to dance.Merlin can barely walk and he’s going to teach Arthur the prince who even if he wasn’t the best dancer would still do better then Merlin with two left feet to dance . And we have seen how serious Arthur takes footwork that man would be able to dance be serious.

Arthur is not a sim stop having Merlin give him all his skills and personality traits thank you😁

[aprilshowersanimation]

Happy 10th anniversary to probably one of the most formative animated movies in my life, and still one of my favorites to this day ~ Rise of the Guardians!

❄️🌙🐇🧚🎅

[captain-astors]

Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)