#hes a bit of an enigma for me; why charge for the gates (outside of gameplay reasons)

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Mr.Stick.

What are ya thoughts about him??!?!?!?!?!?!?

I aint got none!!

[thevoilinauttheory]

FFXIVWrite2020 Prompt #13 - Extra Credit

Character(s): Caromont Allard, Astrid Allard; a couple unnamed tutors and teachers. Setting: Sharlayan (Motherland); approximately 1475 of the Sixth Astral Era -- approximately 1480 of the Sixth Astral Era -- approximately 1494 of the Sixth Astral Era, just before the events of Prompt #22 What: Caromont is introduced to his new abilities, much to his dismay. Content Warnings: Explicit physical and emotional, familial, abuse; implications of trauma Author Notes: My spouse wanted more Caromont lore, so I used it as my extra credit prompt. Honestly, that’s all I gotta say. I had fun writing this one, because Caromont is my “enigma” character. Everything about him is hidden under the veil of the classic case of amnesia, but even if he does remember - no one ever knows, he doesn’t communicate if he’s remembered anything or not. So even in my private RP with my spouse, he’s still something of a mysterious character. --

Violet eyes cast a glance outside of the window of his classroom, it was a nice day. He was stuck here. Again. And again. And again. Everyday it was the same thing. When the click of a switch against the podium at the front assaulted his ears, he flipped the page of the book in front of him with no regard to the words written. Another snap, another page. There were whispers of other students beside him - he paid no mind. There were clouds to watch and he was far more interested in those. Crack, flip. Whap, flip. 

“Allard!”

The boy’s head whipped to the front suddenly, his attention drawn by the sudden shout of his name. When he realized it was just his teacher, his posture relaxed, eyes squinting into a pure sense of utter boredom. He exuded it as he slid his arm over his desk to rest his head on his fist. The eye contact showed that he was listening… at least more intently than before, yet he said no words. His teacher walked her way to his desk, snatching up his textbook.

“The answer to number four, please.”

A deliberate attempt to sabotage him, taking away the text he paid no attention to and asking a question on it. It would’ve made any student fluster, yet the boy didn’t flinch. He didn’t even blink. “Teleporting is breaking down your aether and confluencing it with the Lifestream, carrying you to your destination so long as you don’t break contact with your thoughts. There are dangers to teleporting, such as losing focus and losing self - where your aether cannot conjoin together. Other effects can be severe aether sickness, crystal sickness, and possibly ending up at a different location.” Before any words could be spoken, he continued. “Aether sickness is caused by an increased intake of aether, causing a variety of symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, migraines, dizziness, vertigo, and temporary blind and deafness. There is no known cure for aether sickness, and it’s recommended to just let it pass. If it does not, though, a transfer of aether can be used to reduce the amount of aether stored in another’s body.” A sharp inhale. “This can also lead to aether deprivation, where there is too low of aether in another’s body; causing malnourishment, lack of appetite, inability to move certain body parts, loss of certain bodily functions, and numbness - death, within a matter of bells or suns.”

His eyes turned back to the window. “Answers four, five, and six. I am paying attention, and I dislike that you are accusing me of not.”

His teacher let out a soft sigh, setting his book down, then returned to the front of the class - allowing the child to continue daydreaming in peace.

When his classmates filed out at the first sound of the bell, he gathered up his belongings slowly and meandered his way to the door. “Caromont.” “Mm?” “Stay here, your mother will be arriving shortly.” “What did I do wrong? I answered your questions, did I not?” She shook her head. “It’s for both praise and punishment. You’re above your class clearly, but it feels as if you’re not invested in this path.” “I am not, I would much rather be doing something else.” “Then why do you continue?” “My mother wants me to. It’s the best way to make money and take care of my family.”

There was another shake of her head, yet she gestured to the door. “Take a seat outside.”

When his mother appeared, near stomping down the hall; heels clicking- he hated that noise. She could afford nice heels, but not a proper bed for her children. Nice clothes, nice makeup. In his loathing, he neglected to realize she was right beside him and a hard yank on one of his ears made him cry out. “What did you do this time! Ungrateful child, I send you to school and you do nothing but get in trouble!” “I do not want to be here, regardless! Let go!” He tried to pry her hand off, but her nails caught the cartilage, causing a sob to break from him. “Stop!”

“Mrs. Allard, if you please.” His teacher caught her before a hand could crack over his face - a save he couldn’t have been more grateful for. She seemed to recognize the situation, then smiled. “There is naught for him to be punished. I wanted to give only praise and a proposition.” A change in her previous statement. “Is that right? Why didn’t you say so before?” His mother let go of his ear, following his teacher inside the classroom while he was left outside to tend to his injured and now bleeding ear.

“I wished to convey just how brilliant your son is, he is far ahead of his peers in his aetherology studies - and I believe he is ready to move on to higher skills. Might I suggest astrology? He seems keen on being outside, and studies regarding the stars would allow him that enrichment he needs. He could be Sharlayan’s greatest healer with just a bit more effort and motivation from outside sources, such as his family.” She stacked up some papers, sitting herself down at her desk. “I can provide the necessary documentation of his successes, and present it to the head of the board. He’ll be ready to move on by next moon. Until then, I would have him stay and take tutoring classes to help him further. No extra charge, I assure you.”

“I see… if you believe he’s got that much talent wasting away in him, I suppose moving him forward wouldn’t hurt. Tutoring - if he’s so brilliant, then why--” “Because he will be entering in the middle of the school year, Mrs. Allard, and he will need to catch up on everything his new peers have already learned. Just because he has mastered this class does not mean he is a born master of every other class. You expect too much of the boy, he needs to be nurtured, and he needs to grow; and I will be frank with you - you are stifling him. Do not get in his way, or you will be the cause of the rift between you and your family.”

--

“Take your reading now, Caromont - allow yourself to connect with the gates as we last practiced. Your first reading is always the most important, to see your progress.” His mentor sat on the other side of the desk from him, watching intently to Caromont’s now bright-eyed enthusiasm to his new path. He hadn’t thought of astrology - while Sharlayan was well known for their astrologians, he never considered something like that to speak to him.

The first card was flipped over. “The Spire.” He spoke softly, and he allowed the card to speak. It hurt at first. He rubbed at his temples and within a few seconds his head hit the table as if he had fallen asleep there. His mentor quickly stood to check on him, frightened that something might have gone wrong - but when his head snapped back upright with his eyes wide, he turned to his mentor in tears. “...I- I-... I am sorry… I did not mean…” “What is wrong, child? Dear heavens, I thought you had performed a spell wrong.” “N-No.. I just. My reading is for you… and this position is the past, with the Spire, and… I saw. I saw what happened, I…” “Saw? You saw the past with the flip of a card?” “I just wanted them to speak to me…” “Cards don’t speak, Caromont. The stars do. I think… we may need a different tutor for you. I do not know if there is anyone with your talent, but. I do know that we have a section of professors and students all learning about an innate ability we have called the “Echo”. I would like to make certain that if you do have the Echo, you have a proper tutor to teach you about it - despite the fact that it manifests differently in everyone.” He gestured to the cards again. “Sit upright this time, against the back of the chair instead of forward. Close your eyes after drawing the card.”

He followed. The next card was drawn. “The Spear.” Immediately, he closed his eyes; still the tears fell. He shook his head as his eyes opened again. “...Maybe I should not do readings on you… I see too much.”

--

“No, this isn’t the Echo.” “Are you sure? What other explanation could there be for such a talent?”

Caromont was the talk of the Studium. Professors and peers wanted to know more about his ability - this was the day that his enthusiasm turned to responsibility. He hadn’t realized it yet. 

“The stars speak right to him!” Those were the rumors. There had to be more, a person, or magic… something was doing this to him. He delved in libraries for years to tell him, what was he, what was he supposed to do? Everyday it was another person in need of help - everyday he had to make the choice whether someone should live or die - how heavy a burden on a man barely thirty winters old. Was this his fate and destiny? His cards were blank when he tried to read them for himself - like the stars only spoke through him, rather than to him.

He stood out in the dark, up at the sky did his eyes turn. He was never a wishful thinker, he was studious, uptight, he had to be the responsible one. This was the night he cried. He cried and he cried - how many more times would he have to sentence people to their deaths, how many more times would he have to tell people that there was nothing he could do. He would take the fates into his hands time and time again, always promising to never do so again. Everytime, the consequences of doing so would be worse than the original outcome - the fates ever escaping his grasp. He only wanted to help, why was he burdened with this responsibility?

[blacknovelist]

Sorry if this question comes way the hell out of freaking nowhere, but I am a self taught author, and I am going to start writing the first book (properly and officially this time) in my series next year, and seeing as you and I share something in common, writing novel length things, over analyzing things and thinking our own ideas through to a frightening amount, could you give me some advise? Right now about your opinion and tricks of writing enigmatic, creepy and over powered villains?

Oh wow, I’m honored you’re asking me for advice, anon. I’d be happy to try and help you out! Don’t you worry about being outta nowhere, that’s never much a problem unless the context is important like for ask memes and stuff, haha. I’m answering this first outta the asks I’ve gotten because I think this is a question that I ought to get back to you about quick (though I’m almost done some of the other answers, so I’ll edit and queue ‘em when I’ve got some time later).

As far as writing an enigmatic, creepy, super-powerful villain goes, it depends a little bit on what kind of person you want that villain to be, and how you want people to perceive them. Are they supposed to be the villain from the start, do they have an early cameo, are they human or some other race, and so on.

For example, there’s Father from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. He’s certainly a mystery, seeing how he lives under Central and doesn’t oft show his full capabilities. When he first meets Ed, he wasn't antagonistic towards him, which sends mixed signals. It’s been some time since I’ve seen FMA, but in general, he keeps his cards close to his chest and sends others out to do his dirty work, which prevents us from knowing much about him. He’s also really creepy - face always blank, thirst for power, he’s not human and it shows. In general, his mannerisms are very blank and he acts aloof and superior as a default state of being, which is just strange from our perspectives. And, well, we all know Father is ridiculously powerful, and wanting to become moreso by opening the gate and becoming God. In different ways, he’s a fairly enigmatic, creepy, overpowered villain.

Another example is Shigaraki from BNHA (AfO also fits the bill for this kind of villain, but I wanted to use someone different). In his case, what makes him so creepy and enigmatic is his unpredictability - his seemingly arbitrary/childlike mannerisms and reasons combined with his personality, motivations, and tutelage under All for One mean he’s got the smarts, the resources and, in the context of BNHA, an advantageous quirk (disintegration is good for the raw power of it, though as we’ve seen he can’t really disintegrate things that are already in particles like sand). It’s difficult to understand who he is, why he’s doing what he’s doing, and what he might do later on, the way he acts is not “socially acceptable or normal” (which varies depending on your given world), and he’s powerful through the League and his disintegration quirk.

The kind of vibes your antagonist is supposed to give off and the type of person they’re supposed to be within your series impact how you should portray them to your protag and your readers. Mostly, it’s kind of an exercise in red herrings and concealment.

For example, by hiding specific motivations or revealing some motivations at certain times while keeping others vague and secret, it becomes harder to predict, understand and follow the thoughts of your antagonist, which gives them that enigmatic air. One of my OC’s (who is an anti-hero) often “forgets” to mention her reasons for doing things or deliberately uses misleading language and phrasing whenever she appears in the story, which leads to others making assumptions about her and obscures her actual personality and motivations, for example. As a result, very few characters are even aware that their interpretation of her may be flawed, and others are left not knowing what to think. But readers, with an outside perspective, might be able to tell she’s being evasive, and as such would see her in a mysterious or suspicious light.

Maybe your villain is obvious about some things, and very secretive about others - making a character enigmatic depends on how much you’re hiding and how you’re hiding it. If readers follow along with the knowledge of your protagonist, maybe your protag doesn’t notice the phrasing of the villain’s words, but the readers do; then the suspicion and air of mystery is there. Or, maybe their reasoning is hypocritical or conflicts with previously established elements - claiming to be doing something lawful despite their actions being unlawful, or acting on a reason that seems to go against their actions, and so on.

A creepy vibe can be added based on their mannerisms or portrayed personality, like the way they move, talk, and react to things, though it can also tie into the enigma factor. Maybe they’ve got a particular way of standing, or there’s an off-putting tone of their voice, or they have unusual reactions to different events? Or, it could be shown in the things a character can do or that a character knows. If, somehow, a character always arrives before everyone else, or always knows the answer or refuses to disclose those answers by being evasive or just denying it - when someone has skills or powers that put them ahead without any due or logical explanation, or they act in a manner that isn’t considered socially acceptable in the world (or they twist the definition of socially acceptable in “justifying” or “explaining” their acts), they start becoming unsettling in the eyes of those observing.

If your villain acts bright and bubbly on a regular basis, spin it so there’s almost too much cheer; if they’re often calm and even-tempered, make it clear that it’s difficult to read their expressions or body language. Strategic exaggeration of different traits and pushing characters to notice (or even not notice) specific traits or actions can clear up some things and obscure others, which can leave readers wrong-footed about your villain and help make them creepier. Pairing that with enigma again, by being specific about what you are and aren’t saying you can leave readers with the distinct impression that something is off without them knowing why that is (unless you want them to, of course).

Power has the most ways of being portrayed, I’d say, and all of them tie in well with both the creepy factor and the enigma factor. Like I mentioned earlier, shadow-leaders like AfO are a good example of mixing enigma with power, since you have one character controlling everything without revealing their true nature or self. Alternatively, there’s the option of the Father-like overlord character - someone who is obviously in charge, but who has many details about them obscured, hidden, or otherwise not understood to make it seem like they’re a mystery. Again, it depends on how you play out the other elements, and the kind of character you want your villain to be. Shigaraki, in this case, would be something in between, I think. Perhaps their power is what makes them unsettling, rather than their mannerisms, even. Figure out how powerful you want your villain to be, and what kind of power that manifests as - if your world has powers, is your villain adept in it? If not (or if your world doesn’t have powers), what else are they good at? Is their strength physical, mental, spiritual, magical, some combination of them, or all of the above? 

In general, these elements are easiest to put into a story through little things, I think - a character mentioning an incident that on the surface is normal but deep down seems odd, someone spotting the same stranger they saw in the previous city, a reference to some big event or disaster of some kind. By picking and choosing what traits you reveal about your villain, you influence how creepy, enigmatic and overpowered your villain comes across as, too. They could actually be the weakest character in the universe and we’d never know, as long as you sell it well. Mix and match traits you would put in your character, and experiment on how to show these traits and the impression you create with them.

Things like TV tropes can help, slogging through unrelated tropes aside, since it also gives traits that often apply to characters that are creepy/enigmatic/overpowered/all of the above and gives examples of when this happens. Take a look at other characters who embody one, two, or all three traits and understand what goes on in the story or in their design that makes you feel that way. How do they walk or talk, how does the author/creator reveal them or things about them, what are/what do their motivations seem to be, etc. 

I asked my sister for her thoughts on the subject too, because she happened to be around at the time - she suggests keeping in mind specific actions and how they’re accomplished also portray how creepy or enigmatic a character may be. 

Chances are, if you think your character is unsettling and creepy and unfairly strong, your observation is probably right and you’re fine (and if second opinions are needed, that’s what beta readers are for). Don’t get so caught up in thinking about it you don’t go anywhere! Sometimes a villain can come across as enigmatic by never appearing at all - it leaves everyone wondering where and who they are, and why they haven’t made any big or obvious moves, for instance.

Is this enough? I hope it is, but if it isn’t, I’d be happy to help more if you need it, and there’s plenty of lovely writing blogs and resources everywhere. I wish you all the good luck on your novel, anon!! I’m cheering for you!! ง(◕▽◕)ノ