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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years ago

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So tonight’s Casualty was absolutely brilliant. So brilliant, I had to wait nearly 2 hours to properly put together thoughts on it. I’m in awe of the show in a way I haven’t been since Jade’s centric episode years ago. What a masterpiece.

Goodbye, Robyn Miller. What a way for her to go out! I’ve never been the biggest fan of Robyn as a character (though it probably didn’t help that the show didn’t give her much to do all that often - I did, however, love the Glen storyline), but this was an incredibly powerful and impactful exit.

The show has had patients die because of the lack of resources at the hospital before, but this is the first time I can think of that it’s really happened to a main character. I applaud Casualty for being brave enough to go there. Having a character we’ve known for years die as a result of the NHS crisis - a character who might’ve lived if she’d been able to leave on her last shift when she was supposed to instead of staying, or if they’d had the resources to send an ambulance to her sooner, if they could’ve got her to theatre sooner... - makes such a bold statement. Massive, massive kudos to the show.

We saw Robyn’s friends and partner grieving, saw her daughter left traumatised and orphaned, and it was made all the more impactful by the fact that we know these characters. It was deeply upsetting and heartbreaking, but it needed to be. (I keep mentally comparing it to the Holby finale. This achieved everything that the Holby finale didn’t. This was a meaningful tribute to the NHS and this was a character death that actually mattered, rather than being done for misogyny and fridging like Jac’s.)

Amanda Henderson has been great as Robyn all these years, and I hope she’s as satisfied with this exit as the rest of us. It was a great way to go out and I bet it’ll be remembered for years.

Marty’s exit was perhaps the biggest surprise of the night. I’ve always felt he was a bit underused, and it’s a shame to see him go, but what an exit! His scene outside with Paige, despairing at the situation, was a particular highlight - it was fantastic. Shaheen Jafargholi played that so well. <3

As sad as it is to see all these characters leaving, the way they’ve been written out - Robyn dying because she couldn’t get treatment soon enough, Marty and David giving up because they simply couldn’t cope anymore - is heartbreakingly realistic and sends a very powerful message.

And we knew David was leaving, but we didn’t know it would be this episode. I guess everyone theorising Sacha would be involved in his exit was sort of right! We got one last brilliant performance from Jason Durr before he left. Every scene he had in this episode was fantastic.

It felt odd, though, that his exit didn’t involve the Ollie storyline at all - indeed, that story hasn’t come up in months. I kind of think the aftermath must’ve been cut short or something. It’s a shame, because it really does show how that story never needed to happen. But it did happen, and thus, I’m - in a way - glad David has left. I remember what Holby did to Henrik after the Fredrik storyline - they suddenly latched on to this idea that now all Henrik could do was suffer. I wouldn’t want David subjected to miserable story after miserable story like that.

I am sad we didn’t get a final Dylan and David scene, although I suppose it showed how utterly exhausted and broken David was that he didn’t even say goodbye to his best friend.

I would’ve liked David and Marty’s exits to happen a few episodes after this, but for the same reason. Cramming it all in one episode was a bit much IMO, and I think spreading it out (even if only so David and Marty could work their notice after resigning in this episode) would have worked better, so they could each get more individual focus.

It was nice to see Sacha again, but I’m not sure whether to be glad or upset that he didn’t mention Jac. (Speaking of mentions, I’m going to cling on to the fact that he mentioned Dom as a general surgeon who could be called but not Henrik as an implication that Henrik did indeed leave the hospital.) I think I would rather if they’d used Dom instead, as there’s a lot that needs to be talked about with Sacha after Jac’s death that... didn’t get talked about.

It was great to see Dylan, David, and Sacha all working together - some people have said to me before that David and Sacha are similar characters and they’re so right. I also appreciated the whole thing of all the theatres being in use and how they struggled to find anywhere for Robyn. It really does highlight how ridiculous Holby got in its final few series, when there were hardly any patients and the staff had all the spare time imaginable to go around having dramas. This was way more realistic.

Bob Barrett was very good, too. He always is. <3

I’m really frustrated at Faith’s involvement in the care home storyline, though even she couldn’t ruin this episode for me. Like... it’s supposed to be Dylan’s storyline?? I guess I’m glad they had Elsie directly tell Faith what was happening rather than Faith working it out when Dylan couldn’t. Also, this episode made me believe Faith cared about someone (Elsie), which I haven’t been able to believe in years. She’s still a monster, obviously, but I’m surprised they managed to convince me she’s a monster who does occasionally have some sort of feeling or care for people who aren’t herself.

Apart from Faith, all the characters I usually can’t stand were quite decent tonight - Charlie, Paul, etc. So that was good.

Charles Venn was fantastic in this episode, and I really think this is all going to lead into a mental breakdown of some kind for Jacob.

I probably have even more thoughts on this episode, that’s only a smattering of them! But that’s all I have to say for now. <3

#BBC Casualty #Robyn Miller #David Hide #Marty Kirkby #Casualty spoilers #tw;abuse mention

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yandere-sins · 3 years ago

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hii! may i request soft yandere akaashi x fem! reader? she is smol, sweet, and innocent. akaashi loves her so much and act so soft towards her, but he secretly manipulate her and one day when they cuddle she asked him why he never let her hangout with her friends and why he never introduce her to his friends

sorry if it's too detail, you can add or change the scene if it's too hard. thankyou so much! have a nice day!^^

Thanks for your request, sorry it took a while! ^-^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

It could have been perfect.

His arm around you, fingers drawing circles into your back. Akaashi smelled like the peachy soap you put into the bath, and his still-damp hair tickled your face when you nuzzled deeper into his shoulder. From the way that your legs were draped over his, his other hand tenderly squeezing out the tension from your shins, to the movie playing away on the big television in front of you, everything was so perfect.

You two had saved up for a bit over a year to afford a lovely city home. Akaashi had come with you to buy decorations, and you two would fetch late dinners on your way home with full IKEA bags. He always took the big and heavy ones from you, even if you complained. Last night, he asked you if you two should take the next step.

“Like a child?” you asked him, and he began to splutter, turning his face away. “Or a bird...” was his curt answer before he hid under the covers as you laughed loudly. But soon enough, even that joyful moment turned indifferent. When the lights were out and Akaashi asleep, the world seemed to slow down. Even if you were grateful for the pleasant life you had and the loving husband by your side, why was the feeling of everything being perfect so... so...

Boring?

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” you asked, filling your mouth with the popcorn that sat in a bowl on your lap.

“I’ll be working late,” he noted, giving your back soft, comforting pats. You didn’t really need him to comfort you. Working late wasn’t the end of the world for normal people. And normally, it wouldn’t be to you either.

“Ah, I see. No worries, I’ll be out with friends, so I will leave dinner in the fridge--”

Ah, you thought, feeling his hand grab your shin tightly. It’s about to be not so boring anymore.

“Which friends?” he asked, choking back the bothered undertone in his voice.

“You know, from college.” Your answer was dissatisfying, that much you could read from his face as you looked up at him, meeting his cold eyes. “Why them? You haven’t been in contact for a while. I thought you guys grew apart.”

“I thought so too, but they invited me out to drink.” Sighing, you pushed off his hand, still digging into your leg, pulling your limbs off his lap to sit properly beside him. The moment you set down the bowl of popcorn, you heard the television switch off, Akaashi taking a deep breath. Arguments weren’t so uncommon, even in a relationship as perfect as yours. Sometimes it were just the pickled vegetables he didn’t like, and sometimes it were the friends that Akaashi hated so much ever since you met him that would cause them. Either way, they were always awful for you.

“I haven’t seen them in a while! I’m excited!”

Honest emotions. That would do, right? If you were happy, so was he, right?

But he wasn’t.

Akaashi simply stared at you quietly, judging. He was scolding you with his silence, even though he wasn’t a big talker to begin with.

“You know I can’t stand them,” he snarled.

“But they are my friends, not yours.”

“It would be better if you didn’t see them.”

There was no reasoning with him when he was like that, you found. Akaashi would rather bite his tongue while arguing only his viewpoint than take up the truth he didn’t want to hear from you. There was no amount of ‘yes’ and ‘amen’ you could have plead to him that would have made him less aversed to saying ‘no’ to you in return.

“Why are you like this?” you whispered, genuinely feeling hurt. Everyone admired you for the strong bond you two shared. Your parents shed tears of joy at the wedding. Everything was so perfect, but why was it only perfect when you were unhappy?

“You never let me go out, and I haven’t even met any of your friends yet! What harm is there in spending time with my friends rather than twiddling my thumb while waiting for you to return here? What could possibly happen that would make it impossible for me to do something without you?!”

Silence. As always.

Sighing, Akaashi got up, and you felt a string of anger forming a knot in your stomach. No one liked arguments, not even you! But running from them wasn’t a solution. Running away from your partner’s feelings wasn’t something you could do when you chose to be together!

“You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered as he reached for the door handle to walk out, and you sprung up, almost beggings as you pleaded, “Then please tell me!”

You were sick and tired of being left alone and snubbed. If only there was a good reason for him to act the way he did, but by all that was holy to you, you couldn’t find it. Akaashi, however, did stop, taking another deep breath before pinching his nose. If he left now, you knew it would take days for you to reconcile, you two pouting and only pretending to be fine in front of your family to keep face. Eventually, you’d just forget and move on, but that too was something you were sick and tired of, always having to swallow what happened in favor of a happy home life.

“It’s just going out with friends for a drink...” you mumbled, shoulders slumping in defeat.

Say something! you wished quietly. Anything! Just don’t go.

“It’s just going out with friends now,” Akaashi sighed, turning around to face you. Again, you were met with this cold stare of his, making it impossible to read him. Was he angry? Probably, but you wouldn’t know just from his expression. “And then? What if they want to go to a club? Will you go with them?”

Furrowing your brows, you questioned what he was going at, but now that Akaashi suddenly began stalking back to you, you were overcome with a very different type of panic. He had never advanced towards you like this, with his footsteps echoing in the silent room loudly and his body appearing to be bigger than it was just from the tension in it.

“So what’s next? Are you going to let others leer at you? Have them grab your shoulder, grind up to you on the dancefloor? Are you going to let them ask you to go to a hotel with them?”

“What?! N-No!” you stammered, unable to believe what he was suggesting.

“How will you know? What about your friends? Did you check them? What are they doing? Who are they with? If one of them has a crush on you, are you going to allow them to confess it? Are you going to run our marriage into a ditch just because they invited you out for a drink?”

Akaashi really did manage to make you ask yourself twice if this was all your fault as you heard his arguments. He made you question if there was truth behind his words or if the feeling inside of you was just the paranoia that he created.

Your relationship was so perfect, except when it wasn’t.

“Of course not...” you whispered, standing still as he laid his hands on your shoulders. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes, but you knew he was staring holes into you. All you wanted was to go out, to live a little. To experience and make memories, even if they didn’t include him. You didn’t think about these things, and you believed in yourself to not be unfaithful. But had this always been such a big concern in your relationship?

“I worry because I swore that we’d be together until death do us part! I care so much about you--I love you!” His assertion was barely meaningful to you now. After so much time at Akaashi’s side, you were sure that deep down, you loved him. You just didn’t love this perfect world you had with him. The ideal that he created.

Not, if perfect meant this.

“I’ll come home early tomorrow, and we can go to the cinema,” he tried to console you, fingers snaking under your chin to lift it. You barely returned the kiss he planted on your lips, ever-so-slightly averting your head from the affection. Akaashi paused, asserting your every move before pressing you for your answer. “Cancel your plans with them, okay?”

“Okay...” you mumbled unenthusiastically.

His touch lingered for a moment more before he finally pulled away, breathing out slowly before making his way to the kitchen. “Do you want some water?” he yelled back over his shoulder, but your answer never came. No amount of water or love could make up for how suppressed you felt by him and the conversation you just had. He loved you. He worried. It was always his feelings that mattered.

But what about you? Were your feelings irrelevant again?

Did it not matter that you felt like a caged bird by his side? That all the perfection made it truly suffocating? That everything had to be his way but never yours? He decided when you two went out and where. Akaashi was the one to put everything into motion, and you were glad if you could manage to surprise him with his present on his birthday. It was his schedule you followed, but he never asked if you were happy with how things were going. As if he didn’t care that you were bored and longing for more in life than just being by his side.

Your life could have been perfect. You two could have made it work and lived happily. But Akaashi didn’t want to work it out. He didn’t want to compromise or give you your own will. Instead, he chose to possess and monopolize you over true love and happiness.

And you were left to wonder for how long ‘perfect’ had actually just been ‘hell’.

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shinidamachu · 3 years ago

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yo asking someone to make a wish so half of their heritage is gone forever is fridge horror-level wtfness (thnx TV Tropes).

of course RT and Sunrise chose not to focus on it, and in mythology people do give up divinity or humanity for romantic reasons, but specifically in Inuyasha it was like ‘despite your demon half you can still live a good life’ as if he has some disease 🤨

like I get in history people have had to hide their heritage to survive war and avoid being shipped off to their death or lose their rights, but to ask someone to permanently discard half their heritage and presumably hide their origins until death is tragic as fuuuuuuuuuuu

It's not even that they chose not to focus on it, is that they deliberately portrayed it as this grand romantic gesture from Inuyasha’s part and for a part of the audience, it truly was. But then again, this backfired for people like me, because it only served to proof how desperate Inuyasha really was to fit in.

Poor guy was literally planning on using the jewel to become a full demon just the day before. Then, at Kikyo’s request, he agreed on doing the exact opposite with little to no deliberation other than “what will be made of you, Kikyo?” I can only assume he was afraid her feelings were conditional. That if he had said no, she would have called it quits.

Imagine the same situation, but this time Inuyasha has a support system to lean on. Prejudice against half demons are still a thing, however he has his parents, his friends, a place to belong. Would he still have said yes in order to live with Kikyo? I honestly doubt it.

You see, Inuyasha hates being human. Not in the sense of saying he hates it, but liking it in secret. He actively hates it. And I can’t stress enough that we don’t actually understand how rightfully entitled he is to hate it.

We know how a human body feels like, we’re used to have a human body. Inuyasha is only human once a month. The majority of time he is a half demon. That’s what he is used to. Even worse: put yourself in his shoes. If you were to lose half your strength, half your sight, half your hearing and speed every single New Moon, you'd curse that night too.

Not to mention the sheer vulnerability of being emotionally and physically exposed, of not being able to protect yourself or the ones you care about and becoming a "burden” when he takes pride of being the (un)official guardian of the group. No wonder he felt so hopeless he made a point out of staying up all night. And this is what Kikyo was asking him to feel like every single day for the rest of his existence so their life together could be easier, with the aditional quicker of forever losing the features that marked him as his father’s son. You know, the man who died saving him and his mother.

Every single character that got close enough to find out about his night of weakness quickly became aware of how much he despises it. Now, we don’t know the exact duration of Inuyasha and Kikyo’s relationship, but here are our options: Kikyo didn’t know about the New Moon and that Inuyasha hated turning into human or she did know and decided to go for it anyway.

Considering that the latter option is straight up awful, I’ll just assume she simply didn’t know. What does this say about their relationship? If they were an item for a considerable period of time, how come she didn’t know about such a fundamental thing about him? Especially when people who weren’t even his love interest were aware of that fact pretty early on? What was it worth all that time together if they didn’t use it to have meaningful interactions and get to know one another? If Inuyasha was keeping secrets from her and if she wasn’t interested in learning them?

On the other hand, if their relationship was indeed short lived, that could justify the lack of knowledge, but a different issue raises: if they didn’t have time to collect basic information about each other, how am I supposed to believe in their love? How am I supposed to view the decision to erase his demonic side and live together as anything other than reckless, impulsive and thoughtless? How am I not supposed to see it as mutual convenience, a mean to an end? How am I not supposed to think they are acting out of lonileness and desire to fit in? How am I not supposed to think that if literally anyone else had given them the same options they would have taken it?

A New Moon would have happened in at least one month, tops. That’s not love. That’s a thirty days affair. It could have grown into love, if given the chance, but the pairing seemed more interested in the life they ideolized for themselves than in each other.

I don’t think Kikyo meant it as an ultimatum or that she was disgusted by his demonic attributes. She wouldn’t have approached or kissed him as a half demon otherwise. But I think it’s hard to deny that she wasn’t necessarily fond of them either, since she jumped at the opportunity to get rid of them first chance she got, with no remorse whatsoever. As if it was a bonus. This allowed with the fact that the prejudice against half demons is an allegory for racism and that she used from false equivalence to make the point that both her and Inuyasha were in the same situation puts her in a bad light.

Inuyasha was isolated by people because of his heritage, something he couldn’t change without resorting to intrusive, traumatizing and permanent magic, which Kikyo herself suggested he did. Kikyo isolated herself. People loved her because of her status and she was a privileged woman in comparison. She could have dropped everything since she was unhappy living like that, but she spontaneously chose her duty and powers over love and an ordinary life. And as much as I disagree with her choices, I can at least respect and understand them. What I can’t do is feel sympathy for her when the consequences of said choices catch up with her.

The narrative doesn’t give this problem much focus, it treats it in a much more subtle way. For instance: the jewel only being destroyed by the right wish, paints wishing for Inuyasha to become human as wrong and selfish, with the potential to be catastrophic.

That being said, Inuyasha didn’t hate being a half demon, on the contrary. What he hated was being ostracized over it, so he decided to take matters on his own hands and, when he was free to choose between using the jewel to become a full demon or a human, he went the full demon route because he knew living as human would made him miserable. But the desire of being a full demon was a facade. What he so very clearly wanted, all along, was to be accepted the way he was. That’s why he had no trouble letting go of that goal to pursue the exact opposite: there was no attachment to it. Full demon or human, he longed for a place to belong. If Kikyo was offering that to him, of course he would have taken it, even if becoming human was far from being the first choice.

Compare that with Inuyasha finally giving up from becoming a full demon, realizing he didn’t have to change at all, that he had a place to belong and people who loved him not despite of what he was but because of it, that he could be accepted as a half demon. Compare that with Inuyasha ending up with the girl that always encouraged him to be himself, with being comfortable enough around her to follow his instincts and embracing his canine mannerisms rather than shutting them down, which he didn’t quite did with Kikyo... The message is clear:

Kikyo should never, in any circumstance, have asked that of him. The implications of it were really bad and on paper it was a win-win situation for her because getting rid of the jewel to become an ordinary woman was something she already wanted. He was the one with the short end of the stick, sacrificing everything without the same level of compromising from her part.

And Inuyasha should never, in any circumstance, have accepted this deal. As his love interest, Kikyo should have been the very first persond advocating for him not to change. If the feelings they had for each other truly were love, then she should be the one helping him getting to terms with himself while he does the same for her, not legitimizing the absurd idea that a part of his essence was less worthy of existing than the other, that he should have be the one to change in order to fit in, rather than the people who oppressed him.

Thematically, even if subtle, the narrative did a decent job out of showing the audience how fucked up the whole thing actually was. What it failed to do was making Inuyasha and the others realizing how wrong it was and holding Kikyo accountable for her actions by making them talk about it.

Because God forbid Kikyo gets vocally told she was wrong (even though she often is) and God forbid Takahashi give Inukik the tiniest bit of substance and relationship development.

#Sorry if I'm not making any sense #I apologize for my rambling #And for taking so long to reply #But as you can obviously see I got carried away #Sidmailing

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firelxdykatara · 4 years ago

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Yeah, Matthias’ death always felt cheap to me and it honestly put me off Bardugo (along with a few other reasons). I am really not against protagonists dying or even not having happy endings. But it has to make sense. Because even so-called senseless deaths in a work of fiction are crafted by the author and have to fit in the story. And this one just felt...pointless. Like it was for shock value and nothing more, even if you can drape it in symbolism or some shit. Idk it just felt very canned (as if it was being set up for a tv audience in advanced) and I wish that his death had happened differently if it had to happen at all. Matthias being shot by a kind of past self could have been really interesting and moving and meaningful. But it does not read that way and years later I’m still pissed and can’t look at CK. Ugh.

That’s exactly what it is. Matthias was essentially fridged, and while it doesn’t carry the same weight that it does when it happens to a female character, it still feels cheap and unfair and like the author took the easy way out rather than trying to figure out what Matthias’ life would look like after everything else was said and done. What Nina’s life would look like with Matthias as a huge part of it no matter where she went, because she loved him and was not going to abandon him, even for her home. Because they had become each other’s homes, they were each other’s safe place to land, and it would have taken a lot of work to figure out how they could fit into each other’s worlds after everything else that had happened.

Work that doesn’t have to be done, now, because Matthias is dead and Nina can deal with that and then move on, but he’ll still be dead and will never get to see the things he worked so much to achieve. He won’t get to see his country becoming better, he won’t get to see his brothers learning that magic is not the enemy, he won’t get to see the war end of peace growing between their kingdoms.

It feels cheap, and underhanded, and I just don’t like it. I can see myself rereading SoC, but I’m not sure I’ll ever reread CK in full. Matthias Helvar deserved better and this is gonna sit like a bitter weight in the pit of my stomach for a very long time.

#matthias helvar #crooked kingdom #kitty reads books #i will probably write a 'matthias lives' fix-it at some point but right now i just feel drained #Anonymous

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filthyjanuary · 4 years ago

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7-12 and 16-20 for the asks!

7. What do you dislike about your favourite season?

i think season 2 is the best, but as i’ve said before, my favourite is 4 solely because the first few eps i watched were from s4. i think season 4 is very solid and even though it’s a season that HURTS BAD because of everything happening between sam and dean, i think the show earns the conflict for the most part. the literal only thing that still haunts me is that the STUPID VOICEMAIL THAT GETS ALTERED IS NEVER ADDRESSED. like i hate more than anything that sam still thinks dean said those things. like i know jared’s said that sam knows dean loves him but i don’t care!!! sam /and/ dean deserve to know the voicemail was changed.

OH also literally everything with anna milton. she deserved better <3 sorry the fridged you and gave part of your arc to a man, queen.

also sam and dean should’ve found out cas let sam out of the panic room.

8. Thoughts on Sam’s demon blood arc

i love sam’s demon blood arc. his hot girl summer! in all seriousness, it makes perfect sense. mystery spot sets it up that sam goes dark when he doesn’t have dean, and s4 is the natural progression of that. i love sam being hellbent on revenge, and the blood drinking was hot sorry not sorry. like obviously the end result wasn’t stellar and the handling of the demon blood as an addiction was handled rather shittily in the show, but overall this arc is near and dear to me and if i couldn’t have the boy king, i’m glad i got this instead. and it brings up some really interesting concepts that get explored really well in fic.

9. Thoughts on the Moc arc

i hate this arc mostly because like dean was terrible...which makes sense, but even after the mark was gone it’s like... he never /really/ pulls himself out of that place. it also just dragged on for FAR too long. like it didn’t need to be like 30 episodes or however long. i do like that it gave us demon!dean being like sexythreatening, and that scene of sam cradling dean’s face and begging him to tell him that he had to kill all those people and just the general sam is dean’s colette of it all. also the end of s10 with sam on his knees and dean telling him to close his eyes is deeply fucked up and i love it for that reason and obviously that happened bc of the MOC storyline.

10. Fave underrated ep

i am highkey obsessed with 1x04 phantom traveller, 2x07 the usual suspects and 4x19 jump the shark and i feel like most people don’t really care about those episodes or bring them up much. phantom traveller is just interesting bc i think the character moments are fun and i am obsessed with plane crashes for some reason. the usual suspects i just adore because it’s really a great exploration of HOW WELL sam and dean know each other and just how alike they are. and unfortunately i really like the cop lady in this one. jump the shark was the second episode of supernatural i ever saw and for some reason something in my brain latched onto adam and never let go. i love him so much (i know it’s not really him in the ep but ukno) and i love how much you learn about sam and dean through it too.

11. Thoughts on BMOL

boring. like...the actors were not good at their accents. they wanted what bela talbot had in s3. i just didn’t find ‘the british are evil’ a compelling storyline in a supernatural show.... like girl i live in real life you don’t need to preach to me about the british. also like they set up ketch to be evil like worse than toni who i already hate because she tortures/sexually assaults sam by having him kill magda i guess? but then they end up redeeming him and he survives longer than both mick (affectionate) and toni (derogatory), like seriously one of the worst Big Bads they’ve ever had.

12. Thoughts on Mary

to be honest, i think bringing her back was kind of a stupid idea in the sense that the ENTIRE SHOW starts because of her death. but i felt like HAVING DONE THAT, trying to deconstruct her image as like this nuclear housewife was compelling and the whole clash of sam and dean who just want their mom versus mary who left her kids as a an infant and a small child and now has these grown men who are older than her needing things she doesn’t know how to give was very interesting. and i wish they’d done more with that.

16. Any criticisms of their world building/lore

well i think everyone’s said it better than me that they can’t seem to get their stance on monsters straight at all and the show suffers for it. i also hate how like the later seasons especially just blatantly retcon so much. the prime example is the garden of eden in s5 vs s15.... the s5 version was so much more interesting and i hate that they brought it back just to destroy their own lore. the whole concept of the abrahamic god being like the ‘real’ god vs other gods just being minor annoyances didn’t like...make sense or feel good either. i also would’ve loved more exploration of like what the fuck it means to be a vessel and also exploration of other monsters/urban legends. like ok we get it ghosts/demons/vampires/werewolves sure w/e but there’s so much to pull from. it got repetitive and there’s so many other things they could’ve tried. hell the SECOND EPISODE of the show mentions black dogs and we never actually encounter one. or like chimeras... like there’s just plenty to dig into and they just get lazy.

17. What did you like about s15?

15x20 <3 also just...jack....that’s my son! MICHAEL/ADAM IN 15X08!!!! i think there were a couple moments i liked in like...the gambler and last holiday, and i thought belphagor was funny. oh! also sam’s nightmare visions were kinda fun even tho they led back to lucifer :/

18. Thoughts on Lucifer

he was a really excellent and intimidating villain in s5.... and frankly i enjoyed hallucifer as well because sure he was presented comedically but he was a deeply dark presence hanging over sam as a reminder of what he suffered. everything after that...sucked!!! it sucked!!!!! overstayed his welcome, letting him out of the cage again totally nullifies sam’s sacrifice and frankly he lost every smidge of intimidation factor he ever had. he was just annoying and whiny and pointless and sam should’ve killed him <3 fuck that guy.

19. Most uncomfortable moments throughout the show for you?

answered here

20. Define the different eras in a few lines or words (s1-5, s6-7, s8-11, s12-15)

this was meant to be short... and then it wasnt... sorry.

kripke: PEAK SUPERNATURAL. racist AND sexist but like i frankly do not care because the actually storytelling is so GOOD. COHERENT. i long for what could’ve been had the strike not kneecapped s3 and we’d gotten boyking, but hell the arc we DID get... so good. so fulfilling. aesthetics go off the charts. character dynamics so good!!! conflicts are earned!!!! there was a fucking vision here and it was unique and interesting and the show was COMMITTED TO IT. literally iconic television i love her so much. eric kripke needs a therapist but i’m glad he wrote this show instead of going to see one.

gamble: sera THEE gamble.... overarching storylines kinda weak, but SO FUN! i had fucking fun! soulless sam is a comedian, godstiel was the last time cas was remotely interesting, like!!!! she gave us everything!!!!! gets slandered way too much by this hell fandom like yes the leviathans were stupid but the were FUN and the character moments in s6-s7!!! so good!!!! lots of excellent MOTW eps as well, which... as we know...i love. when the show lost gamble, it lost something great, i’ll die on this hill. i love u #girlboss.

carver: there’s a lot of good here and a lot i despise. dean steadily grows darker throughout the show but there’s like a real VEER into being awful in s9 that the show never recovers from. it makes dean very unlikeable for the rest of its run, mostly by virtue of the show not realizing how unlikeable it’s made dean because it needs him to always be right so the fact that he’s basically turned into john is never like....addressed in any meaningful way. some storylines (MOC!!) dragged on for too long, while others were way too short (TRIALS!!!) but ultimately i think there were some good ideas here and moments i’m fond of. season 11 is Beautiful. i love her so much. there’s some really excellent eps in s11 and the character moments are good.

dabb: i literally hate it here (jack sweetie you are not included in this assessment you’re doing great). it was just stupid. the characterizations of EVERYBODY sucked and fell flat. way too obsessed with pandering to the loudest faction on twitter. took the wreckage of dean that carver left and full destroyed him. like straight up could’ve done something meaningful if they’d bothered to address it at all but they literally didn’t ever make dean be accountable for his actions??? can’t tell u what cas was doing it was so forgettable he obviously had no purpose literally the only scenes i remember were a couple where he’s being cute with jack and that one ep where he and sam go to that old-timey town and sam gets brainwashed. sam like... exists, and his character is intact but it’s only intact because the writers that were left didn’t want to bother giving him anything meaty to do to so the were like *spins wheel* leadership arc that goes nowhere, and he just exists being kind and compassionate and putting up with too much shit. BUT HE HAD REALLY FUCKING EXCELLENT MOMENTS WITH JACK and that alone is why i think it’s worth the slog. sam/jack is my favourite dynamic on the show following sam/dean so...unfortunately based on that.... i can’t just burn the whole dabb era but seriously... way to make every character a hollow, one-dimensional shell.

send me supernatural asks

#ALLISON THANK U I LOVE U #asks #spn #long post #so-excuse-my-tantrum

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thegrandimago · 5 years ago

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Experts concerned young people’s mental health particularly hit by reality of the climate crisis

Over the past few weeks Clover Hogan has found herself crying during the day and waking up at night gripped by panic. The 20-year-old, who now lives in London, grew up in Queensland, Australia, cheek by jowl with the country’s wildlife, fishing frogs out of the toilet and dodging snakes hanging from the ceiling.

The bushfires ravaging her homeland over the past few weeks have taken their toll. “I’ve found myself bursting into tears … just seeing the absolutely harrowing images of what’s happening in Australia – it is overwhelming and terrifying.”

Hogan said her lowest point came when she heard about the death of half a billion animals incinerated as the fires swept through the bush. “That was the moment where I felt my heart cleave into two pieces. I felt absolutely distraught.”

The physical impact of the climate crisis is impossible to ignore, but experts are becoming increasingly concerned about another, less obvious consequence of the escalating emergency – the strain it is putting on people’s mental wellbeing, especially the young.

Psychologists warn that the impact can be debilitating for the growing number of people overwhelmed by the scientific reality of ecological breakdown and for those who have lived through traumatic climate events, often on the climate frontline in the global south.

Until two years ago Dr Patrick Kennedy-Williams, a clinical psychologist from Oxford, had spent his career treating common mental health difficulties including anxiety, depression and trauma. Then something new started to happen. Climate scientists and researchers working in Oxford began to approach him asking for help.

“These were people who were essentially facing a barrage of negative information and downward trends in their work … and the more they engaged with the issue, the more they realised what needed to be done – and the more they felt that was bigger than their capacity to enact meaningful change,” he said. “The consequences of this can be pretty dire – anxiety, burnout and a sort of professional paralysis.”

Kennedy-Williams began to research the topic and realised it was not just scientists and researchers who were suffering. “There is a huge need among parents, for instance, who are asking for support on how to talk to their kids about this.”

When Kennedy-Williams began focusing on young people he assumed most would be older teenagers or at least have started secondary school. But he soon discovered worrying levels of environment-related stress and anxiety in much younger children.

“What I was most surprised by is how young the awareness and anxiety starts. My own daughter was just six when she came to me and said: ‘Daddy, are we winning the war against climate change?’ and I was just flummoxed by that question in the moment. It really showed me the importance as a parent of being prepared for the conversation, so we can respond in a helpful way.”

He says there is no way to completely shield young people from the reality of the climate crisis, and argues that would be counterproductive even if it were possible. Rather, parents should talk to their children about their concerns and help them feel empowered to take action – however small – that can make a difference.

A key moment for Kennedy-Williams came with the realisation that tackling “climate anxiety” and tackling the climate crisis were intrinsically linked.

“The positive thing from our perspective as psychologists is that we soon realised the cure to climate anxiety is the same as the cure for climate change – action. It is about getting out and doing something that helps.

“Record and celebrate the changes you make. Nobody is too small. Make connections with other people and at the same time realise that you are not going to cure this problem on your own. This isn’t all on you and it’s not sustainable to be working on solving climate change 24/7.”

This certainly resonates with Hogan, who has set up Force of Nature, an initiative aimed at helping young people realise their potential to create change.

Hogan’s group aims to target people aged 11-24 with a crash course in the climate crisis that helps them navigate their anxiety and realise their potential to get involved, take action and make a stand.

“This is only the beginning,” said Hogan. “We’re going to see massive, massive widespread climate crisis in every country around the world, so it’s about developing the emotional resilience to carry on, but in a way that ignites really dramatic individual initiative.”

Beyond climate anxiety – the fear that the current system is pushing the Earth beyond its ecological limits – experts are also warning of a sharp rise in trauma caused by the experience of climate-related disasters.

In the global south, increasingly intense storms, wildfires, droughts and heatwaves have left their mark not just physically but also on the mental wellbeing of millions of people.

For Elizabeth Wathuti, a climate activist from Kenya, her experience of climate anxiety is not so much about the future but what is happening now. “People in African countries experience eco-anxiety differently because climate change for us is about the impacts that we are already experiencing now and the possibilities of the situation getting worse,” she said.

She works with young people through the Green Generation Initiative she founded and sees the effects of eco-anxiety first-hand. A common worry she hears among students is: “We won’t die of old age, we’ll die from climate change.”

Extreme climate events can create poverty, which exacerbates mental health problems, and Wathuti says she has seen stress, depression and alcohol and drug abuse as some of the side-effects of climate anxiety and trauma in her country.

Even in the UK, a recent study by the Environment Agency found that people who experience extreme weather such as storms or flooding are 50% more likely to suffer from mental health problems, including stress and depression, for years afterwards.

More than 1,000 clinical psychologists have signed an open letter highlighting the impact of the crisis on people’s wellbeing and predicting “acute trauma on a global scale in response to extreme weather events, forced migration and conflict”.

Kaaren Knight, a clinical psychologist who coordinated the letter, said: “The physical impacts related to extreme weather, food shortages and conflict are intertwined with the additional burden of mental health impacts and it is these psychologists are particularly concerned about.”

She added that fear and trauma “significantly reduced psychological wellbeing”, particularly in children. “This is of huge concern to us and needs to be part of the conversation when we talk about climate breakdown.”

One of the high-profile signatories of the letter, Prof Mike Wang, the chair of the Association of Clinical Psychologists UK, said: “Inaction and complacency are the privileges of yesterday … Psychologists are ready and willing to help countries protect the health and wellbeing of their citizens given the inevitable social and psychological consequences of climate change.”

This rallying of the psychological profession around the climate crisis has led to experts around the world forming groups to research and treat the growing number of people caught up in the unfolding crisis, attempting to help them move from fear and paralysis towards action.

But even for those who are following this advice, the scale of the emergency is taking its toll. Kennedy Williams – who has set up his own group, Climate Psychologists, specialising in climate anxiety – said he and his colleagues were not immune from the psychological impacts of the crisis.

“This is such a universal thing that [we] have all been through our own set of climate-related grief and despair, and we talk about riding the wave between hope and despair … it is absolutely as real for us as it is for anyone else.”

Advice for parents

Remember that you do not need to be a climate expert It’s OK to explore learning together. If your child asks a question you can’t answer immediately, respond by saying: “What a great question. Let me look into that so I can answer it properly.”

Try to validate, rather than minimise, children’s emotions If children express anxiety, it’s much better to say: “It’s OK to feel worried. Here is what we can do about it,” than to say: “Don’t worry. It’s all fine.” But always try to support this emotion with suggestions for positive action.

Negative information hits harder Bad or threatening facts tend to resonate more strongly – and therefore stick in the mind. So try to balance one piece of negative news with three pieces of positive news. Have some examples of good climate-related news ready – for example, successful conservation projects.

For younger children, keep it local and tangible Suggest litter picks and school events. For teenagers, encourage them to stay connected at a wider level – help them write to their MP, take part in protests and join local communities and campaigns.

Set practical goals as a family and follow through Record and celebrate your climate successes together (even a piece of paper on the fridge door). Reinforce the message that small actions can make a big difference.

#science #climate change #environment #psychology #anxitey #climate crisis #climate #climate change anxiety

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kaepop-trash · 7 years ago

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Resurrection In Satisfaction Ch-1 (DOTC Sequel)

“Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”

Rated: Angst

Pairing: JaehyunxReader

Summary: Jaehyun knew better. Yet he felt himself falling back in the loop he thought he was out of, and he loved how satisfying it was.

(A/N): It’s finally here oops. A looooott of you were looking forward to this and I finally did it yay. The fact that the MV also came out today is pure coincidence but man everyone looks incredible.

Death Of The Cat: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Resurrection In Satisfaction: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

She forgot the number of the drinks she’d had but she was aware that of how heavy her head felt and how muffled her steps were. The loud noise around her of music and people, entangled with her buzz to make a different atmosphere in her head altogether. She saw an object hovering in front of her, a cigarette or something else.

Refusing is impolite.

She extended her hand with hazy precision and grabbed the object delicately. Against her lips the tip was wet but she took a long drag in anyway.

“Hold it in for a bit.” She heard a drowned voice and obeyed, being rewarded by a growing haze, her mind getting far away from her.

Once her lungs burned, she released her breath, mesmerised by the trail of smoke floating in the air. She decided to take another long drag, repeating the same process. Sitting back she tried to focus on her surroundings, focus on the nameless song blasting on the speakers and the melded chatter of the people around her. She heard the sloppy sound of people kissing and the repulsive sound of someone throwing up somewhere.

She frowned, suddenly aware of how loud it was, too loud. She tried her best to get up from the couch she was in, once she sat up to the edge a hand landed on her shoulder.

“You aren’t leaving are you? We’re only getting started.” The voice sounded forceful, but she kept her eyes focused on the sliding doors leading to the lawn.

“Just getting some fresh air.” She said and stood up, stumbling a little. But habit made her adept and she focused on keeping her steps steady.

“I’ll come with you.” The same voice insisted and she subdued the annoyed huff. A hand grabbing hers a little too hard.

“She didn’t ask for your company.” She thought the voice was familiar, but the moment her hand was free, she rushed out, suffocated by the room.

Once outside the weight of how intoxicated she was perched on her shoulder and she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and feeling the gentle lull and dizziness. It almost felt good. After a moment she slid down the wall and sat on the floor, collecting herself.

“I should really go back home.” She whispered to herself, rubbing her face once with her hands as if it would give her some ground in reality and got up. She decided to go back into the party.

She recognised the song, a smooth number. She waddled to the kitchen slowly and went to the fridge to look for a bottle of cold water. Only after the refreshing liquid slid down her throat did she realise how parched she was. She noticed a boy looking at her with a thirsty gaze. She suppressed a laugh and extended the bottle in her hand towards him, a smile lit up his face and he refused.

“Are you here alone?” She rolled her eyes at the line. He walked closer to her and her pride didn't allow her to step back, instead she waiting till he placed a hand on her waist and she scoffed with utter disbelief.

“The entitlement.” She murmured, pushing his hand off.

“Bored already sweetheart?” The words slid of his tongue and she smiled at him.

“I will knee you in the balls so hard, the next time you want to be patronising you will shiver at the memory.” She pushed his hands away harshly and walked away as she heard another pair of footsteps approaching.

She finally found a relatively empty corridor and leaned against the wall.

“Hey I was looking for you.” She recognised the voice from earlier, the guy on the couch.

“Fuck off.” She said rather loudly, earning the attention of two of the couples down the corridor who were now looking at the boy suspiciously. He laughed awkwardly and walked away, mumbling a quick ‘bitch’ before he did. She scoffed dismissively, leaning back and closing her eyes.

“Haven’t you had enough to drink?” She heard a voice in front of her, she smirked and took another sip of her drink.

“It’s just soda.” Looking up, her smirk fading to a confused frown.

“Jaehyun.” She breathed out, he stared at her with furrowed brows and pursed lips.

“You should go home.” His voice was curt.

“I should be doing a lot of things. Yet here we are.” She raised her glass, she looked over at the glass in his hand, taking it away before he could stop her and drained the entire glass.

“I needed a drink suddenly. And considering that was neat rum, I assume you did too.” She giggled. Turning to him, she could tell he was clenching his jaw rather harshly.

“Let’s go.” He said, grabbing her wrist. She looked down at her arm and pulled away so forcefully, she toppled over. She saw his hard gaze soften, crouching down beside her.

“I don’t need your help Jaehyun.” She mumbled, rubbing her elbow where it hurt. He turned to it once and turned back.

“I don’t doubt it, but I would sleep a lot better knowing you were home safe.” His voice was gentle. She chewed on her bottom lip, refusing to look up at him.

“Why do you care, this isn’t my first party and it won’t be my last. I can take care of myself.” She shrugged away his hand on her shoulder.

“I know you can, but I’m here at this party and I won’t leave till you come with me.” She looked up at him, his soft smile annoying her.

“Months you don’t say a word to me, and suddenly you care.” She stood up on her own, brushing her back and waiting for him to lead the way.

“Do you want to grab a bite?” He asked as they walked down the empty path, the loud music of the house slowly fading behind them. She shook her head, staring at the ground in front of her. A gust of wind blew, making the hair on her exposed skin stand. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her chest.

“I don’t want to walk all the way.” She mumbled, when she noticed him trying to pull of his jacket she turned to him with a meaningful gaze and he stopped. They just walked silently after that.

After a few more minutes of walking, he stopped in front of a familiar house and she looked up, before looking at him with a confused frown.

“My house was closer than yours, you’re freezing. Just stay for the night.” He reasoned.

“No.” She said firmly.

“I’m not going to argue with you at 2 in the morning (Y/N), come inside.” His eyebrows knit together again. She clenched her Jaw this time.

“You don’t have to. I can walk back myself.” She turned away but he grabbed her arm.

“I will pick you up and drag you inside kicking and screaming if I have to. I will not let you walk the entire fraternity row alone this late while you are this drunk. Get inside.” She breathed out in anger, but knew he was right. She gave a quick nod without turning to him and he let her go to unlock the door.

“We have to be quiet, everyone is asleep.” He whispered.

“And here you were talking about kicking and screaming.” A ghost of a smile hinted at her lips. He turned to her with a surprised look, laughing at the unexpected humour and she joined.

“Sit.” He gestured at the familiar kitchen counter as they entered the kitchen. He then busied himself, preparing something while she looked around, rendered silent by the overwhelming nostalgia the house held.

“Here.” He placed a plate with a sandwich in front of her and she turned her attention to it, thanking him with a small voice.

“It’s the same as the last time you came here.” He said and she nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it’s just us who changed.” She ate her sandwich quietly after that.

They stopped in front of his room, a sort of unacknowledged change in mood passing between them.

“You can sleep in my room, I’ll be on the couch down the corridor if you need anything.” He was still whispering, but this time closer to her. She took a deep breathe, suddenly in need to keep calm. He opened the door, leading her in.

“You don’t have to really.” She said feeling extremely guilty.

“Yes I do.” He said and she sensed something in his voice again. He picked up a pillow and took a blanket from his cupboard before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

She sat down on the bed, suddenly overwhelmed again. The room was too familiar, the bed was too familiar, the way the room even smelt was familiar. The comfort she felt in the familiarity made her skin crawl. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

Jaehyun groaned as she shook him awake, he got up immediately when he noticed her.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was hoarse from sleep but he looked worried and she chewed on her bottom lip as guilt washed over her again.

“I just wanted to tell you before I left.” She spoke as he rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” He asked and she looked at her phone.

“5:30, sorry I woke you up so early.” She looked down.

“That’s alright, but did you sleep?” When she shook her head he sighed.

“Should I even try to convince you to stay till breakfast?” His chuckle made her crack a smile.

“I don’t want to impose more than necessary, I’m just really grateful for what you did last night.” He looked like he was going to say something to that but a door opening made them both turn to find Doyoung walking out of his room. He looked between the both of them, sleep impairing his thoughts as the scene in front of him slowly sunk in and his eyes widened slightly before he sighed, waving his hand and walking towards the washroom. They watched as he exited moments later and went back to his room, briefly offering them a glance like he wanted to be certain, rubbing his eyes for dramatic effect to.

“Right. Goodbye Jaehyun, go back to sleep.” She nodded once before walking away.

“They broke up though.” Yuta spoke as he ate his bland salad, frowning a little as he chewed.

“What?” Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed.

“I thought you knew, everyone knows. It happened two weeks ago” All his frat brothers nodded around the table when Jaehyun turned back.

“Why didn’t any of you tell me?” He asked and they all looked at each other nervously.

“Well we didn’t want to bring her up, you aren’t exactly keen on the topic.” Johnny said carefully.

“Yeah it’s not like we expected you to bring her home or anything.” Doyoung spoke and Jaehyun shot him a glare.

“Don’t put it like that. Nothing happened, she was just really drunk, I was doing the right thing. And I thought she was still dating him.” He explained and Doyoung only shrugged, “Anyone would have done the same.” He explained further, his own need to explain himself annoying him.

“Anyone would have just called her boyfriend instead.” Doyoung replied before stuffing his mouth with his rice.

For a second time, Jaehyun found himself at a party. With her across the room, Dancing with a strange guy. He watched the guy’s hands going lower, more anger surging in him than he intended. When she pushed his arms off and walked away he couldn’t hide the grin on his face. When she came and stood in front of him, he was taken aback.

“Are you following me Jaehyun?” She asked, but her voice lacked accusation.

“This is college, it’s not uncommon to find someone you know at a party.” He wasn’t lying, he assumed she’d be here but there was no certainty. She shot him a look before walking away and he continued to keep an eye on her from afar. When he saw her stumbling out he sighed deeply and followed. Once he walked out he heard a laugh from beside him, turning to find her leaning against the wall.

“I’m not that drunk today. I will go home.” She informed him and he nodded. She stared at him for a moment, deep in consideration before she spoke again.

“I’m not on some heartbreak self destruct mission. It's just weird to have nothing to do anymore, I realise I don't have a lot of friends, not my own at least.” She looked at him, watching his expression change as he caught on.

“Do you know why he broke up with me? He thought he was the only person in the relationship.” Her laugh was pained, “I guess he was right, I’m not exactly the most affectionate person around.” She scoffed.

“Does it hurt?” He asked her and she turned to him like she didn’t understand the question.

“I guess. I mostly don’t understand what people want of me. Not that it matters, i’m too stubborn to change myself for someone else.” She sighed and there was a long pregnant silence between them that she ended herself.

“I guess I am pretty terrible, he was good, he was sweet, and I turned him bitter and hollow. I mean I’m pretty much doing the shittiest thing right now, talking to you out of all the people about this.” She sighed, eyes glazing over like they weren’t here anymore, “But why does it hurt so much?” The way she looked at him made him feel strange.

“Some people have a very concrete sense of what they consider affection. They don’t realise that things like making breakfast for your friends and taking care of you when you are strung out on medication can be affection too.” His words made her turn to him, unspoken sentiment held between them.

She sat in class waiting for the teacher to arrive. Her head throbbed from a hangover and she lay her head on the table.

“I always thought I was your closest friend among everyone.” She looked up to see Johnny, a little surprised when he sat down beside her.

“I mean compared to the others, you and I always had a close friendship. And I was the one to introduce you to everyone.” He continued as he took out his material for the class.

“You can say Jaehyun you know. I won't combust at his name.” She raised her head once and spoke with a low groan, before putting her head back down.

She complained about how unnecessarily difficult the subject was as her and Johnny walked out of the classroom. They discussed the syllabus in the order of difficulty, when Johnny had a bright idea.

“I could help you with the subject you know, I'm not half bad at it.” He suggested and her face lit up.

“Half bad? You're amazing at Psychology John! Please help me.” She asked with a desperation that is only akin to a university student before midterms. Johnny laughed but nodded.

“Do you have classes after lunch?” When she shook her head he smiled, “Great! Come by the house then, this was my last class today.” He said excitedly, but when her smile faded he rolled his eyes.

“Don't be like that. You need to pass in the subject if you want to keep your gpa up.” He frowned.

“Can't you just come to my sorority? I'm sure you'd love my housemates.” She sneaked in but he gave her a sarcastic smile.

“Cheap shot.” He playfully hit her head with his notebook, “But you can't just keep avoiding everyone because you dislike confrontation. I better see you at the house at lunch, I'll save you some food.” She cracked a smile at that, but still nodded unsurely.

After she dropped off all her things at her house, she suddenly felt the need to shower and clean up, anything to avoid what was next. Dropping Johnny a quick text and walking into the bathroom as her phone sounded with a reply immediately.

“He's not even here.” Johnny huffed as she walked into the house.

“He's not the one I'm dreading meeting Johnny.” Before she could continue a small gasp made them turn to the kitchen entrance where Mark stood with wide eyes and a spoon in his mouth.

“What's wrong?” A voice spoke from inside the kitchen, Haechan walked out with creased brows that turned to wide shock when he saw what Mark did.

“You forgot everyone else.” She mumbled to Johnny, before turning to the two Juniors, waving at them awkwardly. Mark waved back, still wide-eyed and with the spoon in his mouth. Haechan on the other hand scrambled up the stairs.

“I feel like a mom who walked out on her children. I'm too young and irresponsible for this.” She looked at Johnny with accusation before walking up to Mark.

“The other day Mingyu offered to help me with an assignment and I definitely told him off.” Mark said, his voice still shocked, she laughed loudly and ruffled his hair, despite him being a good few inches taller.

“What did you say?” She said with playful skepticism.

“Thank you but I'm almost done anyway.” He confessed with a sheepish grin.

“Savage.” She grinned sarcastically, and Mark giggled in a familiar way.

“Appreciate the gesture, now if you don't mind. I'm going to go talk to Haechan.” She spoke softly and he nodded, walking away to sit down and eat his food.

She knocked on Haechan's door lightly and heard scrambling and a small thud after which the door slowly swung open.

“Hi.” She spoke, trying to hide her grin, “May I come in?” She asked and he nodded.

“Are you mad at me?” She asked slowly, dreading the idea of talking about this, Haechan scrunched his eyes in question but she continued, “You couldn't even look me in the eye downstairs.” She forced a smile but he blushed deeply and shook his hands and head furiously.

“I got embarrassed because I was in my boxers. I mean sure what happened wasn't very nice but I'm happy you're here, it's not my place to be mad.” She hugged him abruptly making him protest but laugh. She told him how mature he was and expressed her gratitude and he only agreed, trying to get her off.

“Either way, you need to he worried about Yuta. He's far prettier than I am.” He scoffed and she winced, nodding in reluctant agreement.

There was silence at the table as she watched Yuta eat quietly. Johnny coughed awkwardly after a long time.

“Could you pass the chicken?” She asked Johnny who turned to Yuta.

“Yuta, pass the chicken.” Johnny pointed at him.

“I can't pass food to nothing Johnny, what are you doing?” Yuta mumbled. She sighed and got up, trying to pick up the bowl but Yuta picked it up and placed it further away, eating like nothing happened.

“Don't be a brat Nakamoto.” She scolded him and he looked up offended.

“You're a brat!” He shot back.

“Nice comeback.” She clapped her hands, “Now pass me the chicken I'm hungry.” She commanded.

“Never. You're mean. Mean people don't get chicken.” He stuck his tongue out and she sighed.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled and was about the pick up her bag to just leave.

“You stopped sitting beside me in philosophy!” He got up with loud protest.

“Only because you stopped sitting beside me in history!” She turned out and he scoffed.

“You stopped coming over!” Yuta said next, grasping at anything.

“Do you think I wanted to?” She said incredulously and Yuta’s words faltered.

“I missed you okay.” He mumbled, avoiding her gaze, “Playing Mario Kart wasn't the same without you.” He cracked a smile, picking up the bowl of chicken as a peace offering.

Lunch took longer than expected and Johnny was apologetic. He offered to teach her in the living room after she said it was weird to go upstairs into someone else's room. They were both studying well into the evening and both of them forgot about the time. The door opened and shut with a loud thud but both of them were used to the sound enough to not be distracted.

“Why do you look so distressed?” Doyoung's voice could be heard from the foyer.

“I was at a party, I thought I'd see-” His voice broke off as he entered the living room. Both Johnny and her looked up with a knowing glance.

“Hi.” His voice sounded almost relieved as his eyes landed on hers and she offered him a smile, “What are you doing here?” His voice was curt again.

“Studying.” She kept her voice distracted as well.

“That's nice,” He sounded winded. “Have fun.” He said and walked towards the stairs.

After coping himself up in his room for a long time, he finally mustered up enough courage to go downstairs. He didn't understand why his palms were suddenly clammy and his mouth was dry but he walked into the kitchen, almost doubling back when he saw her behind the counter. She heard his hesitant steps and looked up with wide curious eyes that turned guilty when they landed on him.

“I'm making dinner, you still like stir fry don't you?” Her voice was small, his eyes lit up with nostalgia before he looked away.

“Yes.” He didn't want to admit that he hadn't had any since she stopped making them.

He slowly slipped into a seat at the counter as she continued cutting vegetables.

“I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.” He tried to fill the silence, she didn't look up but her lips cracked into a smile.

“Do you want me to make you custard?” Her words passed her smile onto him.

“Will you tuck me in too?” He laughed. It was so natural, it took both of them a good moment to stop smiling as the words sunk in. This time the silence was abundantly loud.

#nct #jaehyun #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenario #nct u #nct dream #nct 127 #nct 2018 #kpop scenarios #angst

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ladyloveandjustice · 7 years ago

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Summer 2017 Anime Overview: Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul and The Reflection

My classic anime overview posts are making a comeback! I watched 7 different anime in the Summer 2017, so we’ve got a lot to talk about- so much so that I’ll do a couple anime each post rather than just doing one giant post.

I fully believe in saving the best for last, so we’ll rank and review these anime in order from worst to best. Which means we’ll be starting with the anime I found the weakest out of what I watched this season. Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul and The Reflection. Are both of them bad anime? Or are they just not quite as a good as the other fare? Let’s dive in and find out!

Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul

Yep, this was easily the worst anime I watched this season. Not animation-wise, the art was very nice (though not quite as good as its prequel). But story-wise? WOW. It’s been a while since I’ve seen an anime- or a story period- end that badly.

And unlike a lot of people, I didn’t really come into this anime expecting much. Rage of Bahamut: Genesis, the first season, was a beautifully animated but incredibly shallow adventure romp with a messy ending that managed to be both cliche and nonsensical in how it fridged the main female character. It was fun for the most part, but also eyerollingly trope-y and sloppy storytelling wise, with fairly 2D characters. I came into this season expecting much the same. And for the first half-ish of the anime that was what I got. It certainly wasn’t well written, it was sexist, it was cliched, but it worked okay for what it was, which was a silly swords and sorcery story where you could just turn your brain off and enjoy the eye candy.

There wasn’t much to the characters, but they were pleasant and likable enough. Nina, the lead of the story, was just kinda dragged along by the plot and didn’t have much going on (her main conflict is that when she gets turned on by a dude she turns into a dragon yes i’m serious), but her gung-ho attitude made her fun to watch. There was also an wacky all-lady prison break midway through the show that was kinda awesome.

(I should note though, one of the characters is a very fantastical take on Jeanne D’Arc. And she’s portrayed as someone who sucks at fighting if she doesn’t have the gods on her side because women are weak or whatever I guess! She finds some fulfillment only when a god pulls a Virgin Mary on her and forcibly impregnates her with an angel son. After this, her whole character revolves around her son. I had a lot of problems with that for obvious reasons).

But then. OH BUT THEN. I thought the first season’s denouement and end was messy, but I HADN’T SEEN NOTHIN’. Not only was this ending horrendous, it managed to damage all the characters involved (except for the zombie girl, Rita, who is too cool to be ruined by anything) and even basically damage the first season. If I cared enough to go back and watch that season, this ending would make it a sour experience, basically, just from how thoroughly the plot and characters from that season were mangled by this follow-up. Nothing redeemable was left in its wake.

Basically the whole story was overtaken by one of the most poorly conceived love interests I’ve ever seen. Nina’s beloved, Charioce, was a super sexy dude who had a few tiny flaws, like how he’d, y’know, massacred an entire race and also slaughtered, enslaved and tortured yet ANOTHER race (even putting them in gladiator style death matches for entertainment) and unjustly imprisoned a literal saint of a woman and told her he was only keeping her alive so he could murder her small child in front of her.

But you see guys, he danced with Nina a couple times and is super hot and his mom’s dead which is sad so it’s okay that he did a little genocide, tried to kill all Nina’s friends (one of whom was ten) and threw her in jail. I’m serious. That was the shows logic. Turns out the reason for all this was it was some plan to unseal the dragon a character had been sacrificed to seal for the next hundred years in Genesis. (So he effectively rendered her death totally meaningless). He unsealed it just so he could kill it for good . The only explanation we get for his double dose of genocide was that ONE of the races has a superweapon he needed to kill a dragon. Yep, no explanation given as to why he needed to do kill all those beings or enslave them or put them in death matches or personally torment a woman who did nothing to him, but the show sure treated it like it explained everything and meant we were totally supposed to forgive AND feel sorry for this sexy, sexy tyrant.

(In the end, the genocide and slavery ends up being a footnote: everyone loves Charioce because he killed a dragon, the demons are being payed low wages instead of being enslaved so everything’s fine now, no justice for those who were slaughtered, no consequences for the oppressors, no reparations made, no word on whether the death camps and many other atrocities even stopped happening, nothing.)

Nina being in love with him damaged her irreparably as a character too, even though she was perfectly okay before that- it was just so infuriating that she could set aside all the people he killed and the fact he’d tormented her friends because he was a smexy dancer. I get what they were going for-a kind of starcrossed Disney ~love isn’t rational~ type thing. And “love isn’t rational” is just the laziest writing copout ever, I’m so sick of it.

You can sell a romance where one party has done horrible things and the other one loves them anyway if you have the writing skill. But in order to sell that romance as understandable, you need to make the audience like that character too. The character needs to be actually endearing and interesting in some way.That way when so-and-so is tormented about how she loves him despite the things he’s done, the audience is tormented for the same reason. But there was no reason for Nina to be hopelessly in love with Charioce. Dude had the personality of a wet paper towel- I don’t think he emoted once the entire anime, even when he was on the verge of death. He didn’t offer her any invaluable support or guidance to Nina either. Yet she at one point said she’d choose the ENTIRE WORLD over him if it came down to it. A guy she danced with like twice!

The worst thing about the Nina/Charioce romance is how a bunch of characters were literally sacrificed for it. One of the main characters of the show got himself killed shielding Charioce from those he had wronged, despite the fact Charioce had done absolutely nothing to warrant such devotion and said character didn’t even have a meaningful relationship with him. It was a comically anticlimatic death too, it was out of nowhere, the other characters barely emoted about it with even his supposed best friend basically shrugging it off.

The other person sacrificed solely to add drama to Nina and Charioce’s lurve was Nina’s ten year old friend, who was unceremoniously shanked from behind after being a major character for most of the season. It was so cruel and pointless, I felt sure a magic resurrection was coming for the kid, but nope- he was killed off solely to cause some drama between the good guys and Charioce because the genocide apparently wasn’t enough to make our heroes mad at him. Nina does finally get mad at him, but only for ten minutes, then she and almost everyone else instantly forgave him upon learning he didn’t TECHNICALLY directly kill this one kid.

Even though he HAD been trying to kill the kid ALL SEASON and the bounty he put on this kids head was still pretty much the direct cause of his death. But nah,he didn’t like, specifically tell the killer “hey go murder this small child” , he just heavily implied anyone who did it would get a reward from him, so it’s all fine. Even the kid’s grieving mother and father figure eventually forgave Charioce about this for no apparent reason.

Speaking of pointlessness, the cherry on top of the shit sundae was that the dragon all these characters were sacrificed to kill? The one whose death was supposedly the payoff worth all this genocide and melodrama? It was revealed in the last minute of the story that Charioce DIDN’T EVEN MANAGE TO KILL IT. Rendering the entire mess of a narrative COMPLETELY MOOT.

Seriously, if you want to see how overfocusing on badly written heterosexual romances can destroy an entire narrative, this series is a prime example. If you want to see an example or writers thinking a male character can be forgiven for any atrocity and win the female lead’s heart as long as he’s stoic and sexy and manly about it, this series will show you. This show demonstrates the worst pitfalls of romance narratives- writers seem to think as long as it’s an attractive man and woman getting together, they don’t have to bother with characterization or logic to sell their connection.

it’s a real shame- poor Nina could have been a compelling lead. There was stuff there that could have been developed into something cool had the writers cared at all- she could turn into a dragon, it was mentioned she was looked down on for not being fully dragon, she came from a rural village and was fairly innocent and didn’t know much about the world, her father died tragically- but rather than explore any of that, it was decided because she was a woman, her entire arc should be about her swooning and crying over Bishie McKillsaLot, never mind anything else.

Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul could have been a shallow but entertaining show like its predecessor. In the end though, the only thing entertaining about it by the end was how hard it crashed and burned.

The Reflection

The Reflection isn’t quite as bad as it’s reputation in the anime community right now suggests. Which is not to say it’s a good show. It’s not good. But it’s definitely far from the worst anime I’ve see and has a few interesting aspects.

This show is a collaboration between an anime studio and Stan Lee, (who I guess really likes being involved in anime- he’s done this before with Heroman) and it follows a group of superheroes. The basic premise is that three years ago, a strange light and smoke hit people around the world. Some were killed, some gained superpowers. Those who gained powers were called ‘The Reflected”. The world hates and fears them, in true Marvel style. Now a villain named Wraith is kidnapping people for mysterious reasons.

The Reflection is a messy show, which is apparent just from the animation. The colors are very flat and the lines are very thick, which seems to be an attempt to capture the classic comic book feel. But the thing is, old comics chose to have a bright color palette, or at least a highly contrasting one, for good reason. if you do that kind of style with a dark color palette, it ends up looking very muddy. Unfortunately, that’s what The Reflection chose to do. This was especially egregious in the last episode, where having the darkly colored characters against a dark sky made it very hard to tell what was happening. On top of that, the animation was very limited in general.

There’s also a lot a standard superhero stories here that are not given a fresh spin- we have the angsty product of a lab experiment, the shallow, show-offhero who learns superheroing is SRS BUSINESS after his loved ones are killed due to his negligence and most disappointingly, a main villain whose only motivation is that he wants to plunge the world into a vague, generic sort of darkness.

Some stuff is just straight up not explained, which made the finale confusing- we see a flashback that is supposed to make us forgive a character for his actions, but it’s so incoherent and quick it reveals nothing. Nor is the villain really explored in a way that makes sense (save for an extremely on the nose message about “darkness”, which was repeated so often in the episode I got sick of hearing it), his actions are unclear and the whole thing is just generally clunky. It seems like they chose not to explain a lot of stuff (and end on a cliffhanger) in hopes of getting a sequel, but you can leave mysteries and openings for a possible season 2 without being opaque and hard to follow. In fact, a final episode like The Reflection’s is way more likely to turn fans off than leave them wanting more.

However, The Reflection does have a few interesting ideas and good moments. One of the main heroes, Lisa, has a wheelchair that transforms into a giant robot, which is rad as hell and should be included in every superhero narrative from now on. Her personality is also endearing- she’s a determined, fiery, geeky girl who loves comics. Her whole storyline where her father is all protective of her due to her disability and she tells him doesn’t consider her condition tragic and proves she’s actually the one who can protect him is fairly heavy handed , but it’s a very positive narrative, and I’m especially glad to see it in an anime after being burned HARD by the ableism in Yuki Yuna is a Hero. She’s sadly sidelined after her introductory episode (it’s especially strange that her comic book fandom never comes up again), but still remains a good character.

There’s also a character who was blind, except he can see the silhouettes of people who have superpowers and thus pick out when when people are superpowered that way- that’s another good concept and I liked that his wife was the physically strong and imposing one of their partnership, though she didn’t get as much characterization as I’d like (in fact, she pretty much had none outside her relationship with her husband). The episodes revolving around Lisa and this pair were definitely the strongest of the series.

The lead of the story, Eleanor, also had a lot of potential. She had the heart of a hero, but she was desperate for validation and because of that desperation she ended up having an identity crisis where she developed an alternate personality. If her psychology had been explored more, that could have been a really interesting concept- but it wasn’t really explored at all beyond generic “this personality is the darkness within me” so it ended up being more on-the-nose and boring than anything. Still, I appreciated Eleanor’s scrappiness and in the hands of a more competent show, she could have been really great.

The other characters were duds though, unfortunately- the villains were generic and kinda just there. The hero X-On drove a lot of the plot, yet we learned pretty much nothing about him and he had no personality other than being kind of a dick. The magical girl squad was a fun touch and I loved seeing them kick ass and save the day, but they didn’t have distinct personalities from each other or much thematic significance to the story.

Basically, there’s nothing offensive or repellent about The Reflection. I have to give it points for trying something different stylistically from the usual anime fare. It’s a show that could have been good if it had been executed a little better and given more room to breathe. However, it wasn’t, so it ended up being a very clunky, forgettable anime.

#anime overview #summer 2017 anime #shingeki no bahamut: virgin soul for ts #the reflection #rage of bahamut: virgin soul for ts #rage of bahamut

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stuckwith-harry · 7 years ago

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Chapter 1: Firewhisky & Champagne

March 1st 2003 Adelaide, Australia

“I'm just glad that's done, really. If I have to write another wedding invitation in my life, I'm cancelling the wedding.”

Hermione had yet to think of a kinder night. The air lay still and silent below the pitch-black sky, and the heat had, mercifully, gone until morning. All that remained, for now, was quiet chatter under white stars and smiles shared in the dark as they stood on their balcony, exhausted, but ecstatic, and wholly pleased with the day that was behind them.

Hermione smirked. “Will you ever let that rest? Besides, shouldn't I be complaining, seeing as your family is about three times as big as mine?”

“You might have a point there. They'll all have arrived by now, actually, don't you think?”

“I reckon so, yes.”

She watched him lean against the metal railing: a tall, slim frame in the dark, watching her in return as he poured champagne into a glass and handed it to her.

“I wanted to thank you again”, said Hermione. “For agreeing to get married in England.”

“Sure.” He kissed her sunburnt shoulder and smiled up at her. “I know you've missed it.”

“I don't miss … that's not the point, look, I haven't been in England since … it's just that I always thought I would get married there, you know?“

“Yeah, I know. And – Hermione?”

“Yes?”

“We're getting married.”

His voice was quiet, but brimming with barely contained excitement all the same. Hermione stared at her fiancé's face, drinking in his features – the way his nose curved into his eyebrows, and the way his smile lit up his face, and the mole on the spot just below his ear that Hermione liked to kiss.

Her fiancé. The word sounded weird and wonderful and terrifying all at once, even inside her own head.

She smiled at his words; her insides gave a funny jolt. She thought of England, and everything it meant – the thought of going back, if only for a little while, made her stomach bubble with excitement and anxiety and an odd sort of nostalgia all at once.

“I can't wait for you to meet them all”, she said, “My family, I mean – “

“Hermione, I've met your family. We've been dating for four years, remember?”

“You've met my parents”, she insisted. “You've never met my extended family, though, have you? I've met all your relatives“, she added. “I can't believe you haven't met half my family … or my friends – well, some of my friends … I mean, you haven't even – “

“Hermione”, he said, “are you panicking already?”

Hermione let out a huff. “I'm nervous. That's normal. And healthy. And perfectly understandable, mind you.”

She was grateful he hadn't noticed, or pretended not to notice, how her tongue had stumbled over the words – or my friends – he just wrapped his long fingers around hers, and she squeezed his arm as they stood on the wide balcony, stars and champagne sparkling in unison.

He held out his glass once more.

“To the future?”

Hermione's stomach felt as fizzy as the champagne on her tongue.

Their glasses clinked softly in the darkness.

“To the future.”

***

London, England

“Oh, shite.”

“It's fine, Ron, I've got it – I've got it under control – “

“Jodie, let – “

“I said I've got it!”

“D’you – reckon you could warn us, next time you try to burn down our kitchen?”, Harry said dryly, but he was smirking when Jodie turned around, blowing loose strands of short, hazel hair out of her face. “We've only got this one, see.”

“Well, it's a crappy kitchen anyway. And you've been living off frozen pizza again”, Jodie said, pointing her finger at the two of them as Harry closed the door with a flick of his wand.

“Oi, that's not fair”, Ron said diplomatically, though a mischievous grin was tugging at his lips. “Listen, it was great pizza. Almost as good as your birthday cake. Thanks, by the way.”

Jodie scrunched up her nose. “You're making fun of me.”

“We'd never do that!”

“At least we had breakfast … “

“I can't believe they're making you work on a Saturday. Honestly, you guys are never not working.”

Ron had just opened his mouth to protest when he noticed the assorted stack of parchment and paper that had come floating his way, stubbornly prodding his elbow. Ron recognised, with a tiny stab of guilt, Death Eater files that desperately needed updating, reports that had been due at the beginning of the week, as well as several bills yet to be paid. The woman hanging on the fridge sniggered from her Wanted poster.

“Oh, fuck off”, said Harry, pointed his wand at her. “And we'll finish you tomorrow”, he added, giving the paperwork a sharp stab with the holly wand. “Maybe.”

“If we're in the mood”, added Ron, as the pile landed – a little more forcefully than strictly necessary – on the far end of the kitchen table.

“Jodie, since – since when d'you cook?”, said Harry.

“I wanted to surprise you!”, Jodie said. “Well – mind you, I was starving myself. I got the evening off. And I haven't been here for ages –“

“Unless we're counting you breaking into our flat so you could bring us birthday cake, of course”, said Ron, “which I'm assuming we're not.”

“– so I thought I'd stop by. It's not breaking in when you have a key”, she added.

“It's breaking in when it's five in the morning and we're both asleep”, debated Ron, who was setting up their regular security enchantments with a few silent flicks of his wand.

“It's breaking in when the key in question is our emergency key, which you nicked”, pointed out Harry, gazing momentarily into the Foe-Glass hovering next to the door by force of habit.

“Here, have a taste, birthday boy”, said Jodie, as though she had never been interrupted, and held out a silver spoon to Ron, who grinned.

They had taken a liking to Jodie the moment they'd met her, on a rather miserable New Year's Eve a few years back – she had been hopping in and out of their lives ever since, lightening their work-laden days in the process. Ron had mastered the art of ignoring every meaningful glance Harry shot his way when she was around, every twitch of an eyebrow, and so they had never bothered to put a word on what she exactly was. She was just Jodie – Jodie, who didn't have a care in the world, who set Ron up for jokes that made Harry roll his eyes, whose company never felt forced …

Harry dropped his bag and cloak on their musty, dotted sofa before plunking down on top of it while Ron carefully sipped bright red tomato sauce and looked up, eyes widening. “Holy shit. It's – edible.”

“Harry, hit him for me, will you. You've got mail, by the way.”

Ron gave a dramatic sigh and sat down on the cluttered kitchen table, brushing aside some more Auror reports and slightly battered remainders of what had once been issues of the Daily Prophet. The articles they needed for work had been cut out and magically glued onto the otherwise empty kitchen walls and only started acting up when Harry and Ron ignored them for too long.

Ron reached for the small stack of envelopes Jodie had pointed at, and his mood lightened, if only a little, when he found a few entirely work-unrelated messages: he flipped lazily through more bills and interview requests and birthday cards from relatives he hadn't spoken to in years –

“Oi”, came Harry's weary voice from the sofa. “She's talking to you, Ron.”

“Harry”, Ron said dully, blood rushing in his ears. “Come here and look at this.”

“Not bloody likely. You staying over tonight, Jodie?”

“Sure. You see, if I'm being honest, I made these spaghetti mostly for myself.“

“Harry”, Ron said, a little louder this time, heart pounding painfully in his chest, and they both looked up. “Harry, it's Hermione.”

Keep reading on Ao3

#ok !! plugging chapter one: done #harry potter #romione #fanfiction #tbott #jessie writes

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journeysintowebcomics · 8 years ago

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Homestuck Liveblog #177

UPDATE 177: [S] Collide

Last time everything was set for the fights. Now Lord English was arriving to the dream bubble were the ghost army was, the Condesce had already been sighted in Derse, and all the varied Jacks are facing their respective foes. All in all, the stage is set, all that remains is for it all to start. So let’s get going into this!

Yeah, Lord English arrived and is already furious. Should I expect him to blast everything with lasers to kingdom come in ten seconds flat? That’d be anticlimactic but fitting for his power. It’s all a contrast for how his younger self is right now entering Yaldabaoth’s lair, having completed his game. There’s something in his hand but I’m not sure yet what it is.

Well it’s a foregone conclusion that Caliborn is going to win. Chances the fight will be shown? Zero. Hussie has a track record of not showing any conversations or fight with the denizens. Oh well. At least the art is nice.

After three years of constant flying, Bec Noir and the Mendicant have arrived to the other session, landing in the ruined remains of Prospit. Good location for a fight, given the Mendicant’s former home many years ago. The place is shattered even further because of their considerable power. And that’s when Collide arrives! It’s time. Flash file.

I’m already aware it’s a long show, so I’m prepared. I have also been told that it’s crammed to the brim with fights, and to be frank it’s very difficult to talk about fights when they’re happening onscreen instead of being written. There’ll surely be moments for me to react to, so of course screenshots and all will come. All in all, here’s [S] Collide, after all this build-up. Here we go!

That’s a simple way to summarize everything so far in terms of length. Look at how much content there is. Act 6 has been a very, very long act, hasn’t it?

I have said it before and I have said it again, I like this artist’s style. It’s rather smooth-looking, it’s nice.

...welp. Karkat sure didn’t last long. I guess the danger of being the very first charge is that you’re pretty much an easy target. On the bright side at least Karkat is awake now.

Fight 1 starts. It has been so long since anything like the fraymotifs was used. When was the last time? It’s rather creative and quick-paced. Kanaya seems to be holding her own rather well, despite not having any god-tier powers – even though she stands back while the most powerful moves are in action. Don’t think I didn’t see you hanging back and reading a book while that stone wizard is battering the witch, Kanaya.

It sure is lucky that the Condesce’s eye lasers aren’t vaporizing anyone now unlike last time someone got hit by them.

Roxy is taking this more seriously than the others, it seems!

Okay, Jake isn’t alone against the Felt, ARquius is there too, hitting with the fridge that still has Gamzee inside. Guess that guy is going to be kept there for the rest of Homestuck. I had completely forgotten he still existed. Ever since the big retcon Gamzee is pretty much a nonentity in this story.

Karkat, having been robbed of the big target, sees the fight and focuses on Clover. It goes as well as you may expect – Clover simply doesn’t get hit no matter what. That’s not going to make Karkat happy at all, is it?

...I can’t believe Jake kicked the bucket already. Welp. Thanks for saving him, Jane.

Everything over here is going like one expected it to go. I still remember the very first intermission; it was a mess too. That’s just how things go when the Felt is involved.

Damn the music is good.

It doesn’t seem like things are going too badly over the fight in Dirk’s planet, leaving aside that Dirk also got shot to death. At least Terezi and Dave’s fraymotifs seem to fix that, somehow. The exact details of how this happened are a tad too quick for me to wonder about.

After a while looks like the Condesce has nothing to worry about, she has her four foes floating with pretty much no effort, watching ARquius dodge Cans’ punches like there’s nothing better to do. Hah! Well yeah, it’d have been disappointing if it had been so easy their fight was over by now, of course the Condesce was going to get the advantage over them at some point!

I had missed this man’s strength. Hey there, Mr. Crocker, nice time to get out of the prison! Guess he had enough of watching things happen and just had to help ARquius. That’s bound to go well!

...Jade’s not having much success about calming Bec Noir and the Mendicant, apparently. Not that she’s trying too hard, anyways, her powers are more focused on keeping space in order – so to say.

I almost can’t believe Hussie really gave a moment to Caliborn fighting his denizen. After all this long, something like that is finally seen? About time! Not that there’s much time to watch, there are like...what, six different strifes going on right now? And there are three that receive more attention than the rest, the others aren’t that important.

Make that seven. Hussie himself is still hassling Vriska. Congratulations, Vriska, your big fight is against Hussie. Not the shining moment of bravery and fight against great foes you had expected, eh?

Oh, stop flaunting your control over everyone’s life-and-death status, Hussie, you jerk.

Caliborn defeated his denizen, as expected. The little guy is feeling damn proud of that, and the treasure he came to receive is right there – the house juju. There’s also his clock, the one that kept track of his resurrection – or lack of one – depending on what type of death it was. Right, even though he has the powers of the Green Sun and all, that clock still should be in effect, shouldn’t it? And by now there’s pretty much no doubt any death would classify as Just. The problem is how to actually cause his death.

The music has changed while that firefly flies around. I remember a similar tune like this one before in Homestuck, but I don’t remember where exactly. Maybe I’ll remember later.

Karkat really isn’t taking well that Clover is pretty much defeating him without even taking this too seriously. Welp.

Looks like the fight with Lord English has its own music. That’s fitting!

Meenah and Tavros have survived more than five seconds, that’s promising! Not the same can be said about many among the ghost army – who are pretty much just standing around and being canon fodder while Meenah and the others do all the job. Why were they getting a ghost army, again?

About time they did something!

Davepetasprite isn’t doing too badly, maybe they were right and they really were going to be specially damaging against him. Then again, it’s two characters that are used to fighting – even if Davesprite didn’t indulge in fighting since Bro’s death, if I remember right.

Well that sure is something! I suppose that was to be expected, I think I once heard the creator of that game worked on Homestuck. Still, that was a reference I can’t really say I expected.

...well that’s one down. Without healing this is only bound to get harder over here. Mr. Crocker isn’t doing too well either.

There’s something meaningful in seeing short snippets of moments from acts ago, coupled with the Wonderkids’ symbols in the Homestucl house. Makes one look back at such moments fondly.

Nobody is doing well at all, damn it!

Nevermind, things suddenly started looking up! Congratulations, Jake, you defeated many mobsters pretty much by yourself. Mr. Crocker and Karkat finished their own fights too, that makes four finished. And right after that, Jade’s finally starting to do something more proactive in stopping the dogs from fighting further.

Nnnnnnevermind that too, she has been knocked out. The Mendicant must be very determined to fight, if she went against the princess of her moon and against the dog instincts part. Bec Noir is screwed.

Everything’s happening so fast. One moment I’m typing, the next moment—

Yeah, that. This is like the third time Dirk is decapitated during this webcomic. Knowing Dave, it can’t have been easy to go ahead and cut Dirk’s head off, but it’s over, Union Jack and Spades Slick are gone. So is Dirk’s planet – not a good omen, I remember the destroyed planets in the Game Over timeline all belonged to the kids that died. Well darn it.

It took three years in-story but this plot point is over. Must be satisfying to be done after so long.

...and this one is over too! Turns out that katana really did come handy, after all! There’s something very fitting in it being Roxy who managed to give the final blow here, not only she had to live in a world that was destroyed after everything the Condesce did, she also was the only survivor besides John from what happened in the Game Over timeline, where many deaths were a consequence of the Condesce’s actions. Great! I’m happy for her!

So this means the only antagonist left is Lord English. Hussie pretty much eliminated everyone else in an eighteen-minute long video. That was fast! And fun. I’m really impressed with the quality of this work. Also, the track here in the last six minutes or so is excellent. Homestuck always had great music. It’s laudable.

Okay, Collide is over. I think I’m going to put these two here...

It has been a long while since I had such completely positive thoughts about Homestuck. I’m glad I can finally increase points here. All in all, this was a great thing to watch! And I’m sorry it took me three days to do it, I have been rather busy over here. But it’s done! And I think Collide may be my favorite flash video in Homestuck. It’s simply so good. Hard to talk about it without gushing praise.

Next update: next time

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomics liveblogs

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igetfoxdevilswild · 7 years ago

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My Wonder Woman Review

It’s super duper long and rambling because I don’t have a platform with amazing editors anymore so that’s just how it’s gonna be. TLDR version: awesome, loved it, go see it, 8/10. Spoilers below the cut.

I admit, I somehow never got into Wonder Woman before. I got into comics by way of Batman (well, Archie actually but if we’re talking the big 2), and while WW is with him in DC’s golden trio, I just never went further into DC than Batman and by the time my fledgeling feminist heart had thrown off its “trying to be one of the guys” shackles, I had moved on to Marvel. Lynda Carter’s portrayal was hovering somewhere in my mind (even though I have never seen a single episode, thanks to the collective pop culture psyche that also means I know most of the original Pokemon names without ever having seen a single episode of that either), and I knew vaguely of the character’s background, but other than that I was going into this movie “fresh”.

I am grateful that this means that I can, in a way, share part of the experience with young girls whose perhaps first foray into superheroes will be this movie, because girl oh girl is this a GREAT movie for little girls to see and is Diana a great hero for little girls to love.

Rather than the dark and gritty ventures that were so desperate to show comics are for grown-ups too they were willing to take them away from children to prove it, Patty Jenkins has directed a fantastic movie for DC that dips into the same pool that has been making Marvel (especially Guardians of the Galaxy) so successful with all ages: love can save us.

While I personally could have done without the actual romantic plot line itself, what it gave the movie was relevant (and for once a male character is “fridged” for a woman’s character development in a frankly welcome role reversal). Diana’s ultimate victory is not with the phallic weapon which in fact is destroyed before she has a chance to kill the enemy, but with the Bracelets of Submission. The Bracelets have a complicated mythos that I will be learning about in my newfound interest in WW but from my limited understanding they symbolise the Amazons submission to Aphrodite i.e. love, humanity, and altruism. The movie shows this by having Diana discover that humans are capable of evil and “do not deserve her”, but then realises it doesn’t matter. She believes in love, humanity, and altruism, and witnesses that humans are also capable of good, and will fight for them anyway.

The male character is the damsel in distress. The male character appears shirtless for no plot reason. The male character uses charm where Diana barges in ready to fight. The Amazons are strong as hell. The Amazons are of many ages and body types (though admittedly still not enough). The fight choreography is amazing.

While I wouldn’t have objected to more muscles and a longer skirt, Gal Gadot is never shot gratuitously, no upskirt or down cleavage views, but instead the camera celebrates her fighting ability and she is shown as strong, capable, passionate, and determined.

While in a way naive and idealistic, Diana is not talked down or condescended to by the men who befriend her. Much of the film can be summed up as Steve: “Diana no!”, Diana: “Diana yes!”, but in more of a “Trust me, I’ve got this” kind of way. Her decisions are validated and it isn’t a failing when she doesn’t get it 100% right, it’s a chance to learn and grow.

The scenes of her going over the top, across no mans land, and into the village put happy tears in my eyes.

The movie gave me a very Captain America vibe, in terms of quality and character-wise, potentially focusing on characters at the cost of plot, but this is not a negative. Though The First Avenger is one of the weaker Marvel films in my opinion, it’s still enjoyable, re-watchable, and sets up a great and beloved character really well. As long as Justice League doesn’t do to Diana what Age of Ultron did to Black Widow, I’m hoping DC can now build from WW just as Marvel built from Cap.

However, despite in a superhero movie context ticking all the boxes while turning a bunch of tropes on their heads, I did have issues with the movie. While I absolutely loved it, I can’t give it a free pass on everything.

Firstly, I got excited that the villain was also a woman, but unfortunately Dr Poison kind of fell flat in the shadow of Ludendorff and Ares.

But, on that note, why do two out of three of the villains have a disability? Why is one described as a psychopath? Why is there a joke about Diana being blind? We did get a man with PTSD, so why do none of the Amazons (while showing scars), have visible disabilities?

Why are there so few non-white Amazons, and why are there even less with speaking lines? We got a Native American man talking about colonialism. We got an Arabic man talking about the colour of his skin. So why didn’t we get more women of colour?

I loved this movie. I cried during Diana’s fight scenes because they were so powerful and I thought, is this what men feel like in every other superhero movie? But that’s because this movie was made for me.

Just like Rogue One, just like The Force Awakens, just like Fury Road. I am an able bodied white woman. These movies are amazing and have been described as groundbreaking, but they’re not groundbreaking for everyone. A white woman in a leading role is not groundbreaking. We need to do better.

One more issue might just be because I recently listened to all 23 hours of Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History podcast on WWI (Blueprint for Armageddon) which focuses on the human factors and costs of WWI, but it did leave me feeling a little bit uncomfortable.

In a way, it is still considered “too soon” to joke about the world wars, with good reason. But, over at Marvel, Captain America is an actual Nazi right now without much of a peep in the mainstream so apparently nothing is off limits. But if EA’s Battlefield 1 #justWWIthings hashtag debacle is anything to go by, WWI is still a touchy subject.

Probably because pretty much an entire generation was killed, injured, or traumatised from horrible warfare on a cosmic scale compared to anything that had come before, many of the mass casualties the result of inept leaders making bad decisions from their board rooms.

So actually it makes perfect sense that Diana’s first foray into the world of men would be during this time. Because obviously the Amazons are not averse to fighting honourably with arrows and swords, but with the scale of destruction and devastation never seen before that point, it would be easier to believe that a god of war was behind the great war instead of average people.

It was refreshing to see a movie about WWI for a change because it did explore some of the horrors (trench warfare, new technology including gas attacks, civilian casualties), and it was amazing to see a woman kicking ass and taking names in a war movie in general, BUT… when the opportunity arose to explore the theme of humans being capable of evil without an external otherworldly force, the movie contradicted itself by having Ares be alive and having his death at the hands of Wonder Woman stop the war.

I was hoping, and I think it would have been much more poignant and meaningful, for Ares to have already been dead the whole time. (Then we could have also avoided the tired fist fight at the end.)

While the movie did not let us think in black and white, of the german soldiers as the inherently evil bad guys, and did not let the allies get off scot free, the fact that WWI was portrayed as being ended by one superhero killing one supervillain to me felt like a cheapening of the horrible things that real humans enacted on each other and the suffering and struggles that real men and women went through to bring an end to the war.

#wonder woman #ww #movie review #spoilers

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meeedeee · 8 years ago

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Westworld: (De)Humanising the Other RSS FEED OF POST WRITTEN BY FOZMEADOWS

Warning: total spoilers for S1 of Westworld.

Trigger warning: talk of rape, sexual assault and queer death.

Note: Throughout this review, it will be necessary to distinguish between the writers of Westworld the TV show, and the writers employed in the narrative by the titular Westworld theme park. To avoid confusing the two, when I’m referring to the show, Westworld will be italicised; when referring to the park, I’ll use plain text.

This will be a somewhat bifurcated review of Westworld – which is, I feel, thematically appropriate, as Westworld itself is something of a bifurcated show. Like so much produced by HBO, it boasts incredible acting, breathtaking production values, intelligent dialogue, great music and an impeccably tight, well-orchestrated series of narrative reveals. Also like much produced by HBO, it takes a liberal, one might even say cartoonishly gratuitous approach to nudity, is saturated with violence in general and violence against women in particular, and has a consistent problem with stereotyping despite its diverse casting. In Westworld’s case, this latter issue is compounded as an offence by its status as a meta-narrative: a story which actively discusses the purpose and structure of stories, but which has seemingly failed to apply those same critiques to key aspects of its own construction.

The practical upshot is that it’s both frustratingly watchable and visibly frustrating. Even when the story pissed me off, I was always compelled to keep going, but I was never quite able to stop criticising it, either. It’s a thematically meaty show, packed with the kind of twists that will, by and large, enhance viewer enjoyment on repeat viewings rather than diminish the appeal. Though there are a few Fridge Logic moments, the whole thing hangs together quite elegantly – no mean feat, given the complexity of the plotting. And yet its virtues have the paradoxical effect of making me angrier about its vices, in much the same way that I’d be more upset about red wine spilled on an expensive party dress than on my favourite t-shirt. Yes, the shirt means more to me despite being cheaper, but a stain won’t stop me from wearing it at home, and even if it did, the item itself is easily replaced. But staining something precious and expensive is frustrating: I’ve invested enough in the cost of the item that I don’t want to toss it away, but staining makes it unsuitable as a showcase piece, which means I can’t love it as much as I want to, either.

You get where I’m going with this.

Right from the outset, Westworld switches between two interconnected narratives: the behind-the-scenes power struggles of the people who run the titular themepark, and the goings-on in the park itself as experienced by both customers and ‘hosts’, the humanoid robot-AIs who act as literal NPCs in pre-structured, pay-to-participate narratives. To the customers, Westworld functions as an immersive holiday-roleplay experience: though visually indistinguishable from real humans, the hosts are considered unreal, and are therefore fair game to any sort of violence, dismissal or sexual fantasy the customers can dream up. (This despite – or at times, because of – the fact that their stated ability to pass the Turing test means their reactions to said violations are viscerally animate.) To the programmers, managers, storytellers, engineers, butchers and behaviourists who run it, Westworld is, variously, a job, an experiment, a financial gamble, a risk, a sandpit and a microcosm of human nature: the hosts might look human, but however unsettling their appearance or behaviour at times, no one is ever allowed to forget what they are.

But to the hosts themselves, Westworld is entirely real, as are their pre-programmed identities. While their existence is ostensibly circumscribed by adherence to preordained narrative ‘loops’, the repetition of their every conversation, death and bodily reconstruction wiped from their memories by the park engineers, certain hosts – notably Dolores, the rancher’s daughter, and Maeve, the bordello madame – are starting to remember their histories. Struggling to understand their occasional eerie interviews with their puppeteering masters – explained away as dreams, on the rare occasion where such explanation is warranted – they fight to break free of their intended loops, with startling consequences.But there is also a hidden layer to Westworld: a maze sought by a mysterious Man in Black and to which the various hosts and their narratives are somehow key. With the hosts exhibiting abnormal behaviour, retaining memories of their former ‘lives’ in a violent, fragmented struggle towards true autonomy, freedom and sentience, Westworld poses a single, sharp question: what does it mean to be human?

Or rather, it’s clearly trying to pose this question; and to be fair, it very nearly succeeds. But for a series so overtly concerned with its own meta – it is, after all, a story about the construction, reception and impact of stories on those who consume and construct them – it has a damnable lack of insight into the particulars of its assumed audiences, both internal and external, and to the ways this hinders the proclaimed universality of its conclusions. Specifically: Westworld is a story in which all the internal storytellers are straight white men endowed with the traditional bigotries of racism, sexism and heteronormativity, but in a context where none of those biases are overtly addressed at any narrative level.

From the outset, it’s clear that Westworld is intended as a no-holds-barred fantasy in the literal sense: a place where the rich and privileged can pay through the nose to fuck, fight and fraternise in a facsimile of the old West without putting themselves at any real physical danger. Nobody there can die: customers, unlike hosts, can’t be killed (though they do risk harm in certain contexts), but each host body and character is nonetheless resurrected, rebuilt and put back into play after they meet their end. Knowing this lends the customers a recklessness and a violence they presumably lack in the real world: hosts are shot, stabbed, raped, assaulted and abused with impunity, because their disposable inhumanity is the point of the experience. This theme is echoed in their treatment by Westworld’s human overseers, who often refer to them as ‘it’ and perform their routine examinations, interviews, repairs and updates while the hosts are naked.

At this point in time, HBO is as well-known for its obsession with full frontal, frequently orgiastic nudity as it is for its total misapprehension of the distinction between nakedness and erotica. Never before has so much skin been shown outside of literal porn with so little instinct for sensuality, sexuality or any appreciation of the human form beyond hurr durr tiddies and, ever so occasionally, hurr durr dongs, and Westworld is no exception to this. It’s like the entirety of HBO is a fourteen-year-old straight boy who’s just discovered the nascent thrill of drawing Sharpie-graffiti genitals on every available schoolyard surface and can only snigger, unrepentant and gleeful, whenever anyone asks them not to. We get it, guys – humans have tits and asses, and you’ve figured out how to show us that! Huzzah for you! Now get the fuck over your pubescent creative wankphase and please, for the love of god, figure out how to do it tastefully, or at least with some general nodding in the direction of an aesthetic other than Things I Desperately Wanted To See As A Teengaer In The Days Before Internet Porn.

That being said, I will concede that there’s an actual, meaningful reason for at least some of Westworld’s ubiquitous nudity: it’s a deliberate, visual act of dehumanisation, one intended not only to distinguish the hosts from the ‘real’ people around them, but to remind the park’s human employees that there’s no need to treat the AIs with kindness or respect. For this reason, it also lends a powerful emphasis to the moments when particular characters opt to dress or cover the hosts, thereby acknowledging their personhood, however minimally. This does not, however, excuse the sadly requisite orgy scenes, nor does it justify the frankly obscene decision to have a white female character make a leering comment about the size of a black host’s penis, and especially not when said female character has already been established as queer. (Yes, bi/pan people exist; as I have good reason to know, being one of them. But there are about nine zillion ways the writers could’ve chosen to show Elsie’s sexual appreciation for men that didn’t tap into one of the single grossest sexual tropes on the books, let alone in a context which, given the host’s blank servility and Elsie’s status as an engineer, is unpleasantly evocative of master/slave dynamics.)

And on the topic of Elsie, let’s talk about queerness in Westworld, shall we? Because let’s be real: the bar for positive queer representation on TV is so fucking low right now, it’s basically at speedbump height, and yet myriad grown-ass adults are evidently hellbent on bellyflopping onto it with all the grace and nuance of a drunk walrus. Elsie is a queer white woman whose queerness is shown to us by her decision to kiss one of the female hosts, Clementine, who’s currently deployed as a prostitute, in a context where Clementine is reduced to a literal object, stripped of all consciousness and agency. Episode 6 ends on the cliffhanger of Elsie’s probable demise, and as soon as I saw that setup, I felt as if that single, non-consensual kiss – never referenced or expanded on otherwise – had been meant as Chekov’s gaykilling gun: this woman is queer, and thus is her death predicted. (Of course she fucking dies. Of course she does. I looked it up before I watched the next episode, but I might as well have Googled whether the sun sets in the west.)

It doesn’t help that the only other queer femininity we’re shown is either pornography as wallpaper or female host prostitutes hitting on female customers; and it especially doesn’t help that, as much as HBO loves its gratuitous orgy scenes, you’ll only ever see two naked women casually getting it on in the background, never two naked men. Nor does it escape notice that the lab tech with a penchant for fucking the hosts in sleep mode is apparently a queer man, a fact which is presented as a sort of narrative reveal. The first time he’s caught in the act, we only see the host’s legs, prone and still, under his body, but later there’s a whole sequence where he takes one of the male hosts, Hector – who is, not coincidentally, a MOC, singled out for sexual misuse by at least one other character – and prepares to rape him. (It’s not actually clear in context whether the tech is planning on fucking or being fucked by Hector – not that it’s any less a violation either way, of course; I’m noting it rather because the scene itself smacks of being constructed by people without any real idea of how penetrative sex between two men works. Like, ignoring the fact that they’re in a literal glass-walled room with the tech’s eyerolling colleague right next door, Hector is sitting upright on a chair, but is also flaccid and non-responsive by virtue of being in sleep mode. So even though we get a grimly lascivious close-up of the tech squirting lube on his hand, dropping his pants and, presumably, slicking himself up, it’s not actually clear what he’s hoping to achieve prior to the merciful moment when Hector wakes up and fights him the fuck off.)

Topping off this mess is Logan, a caustic, black-hat-playing customer who, in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it foursome with three host prostitutes – two female, one male – is visually implied to be queer, and who thereinafter functions, completely unnecessarily, as a depraved bisexual stereotype. And I do mean blink-and-you’ll-miss-it: I had to rewind the episode to make sure I wasn’t imagining things, but it’s definitely there, and as with Elsie kissing Clementine, it’s never referenced again. The male host is engaging only with Logan, stroking his chest as he kisses and fucks the two women; it’s about as unsexualised as sexual contact between two naked men can actually get, and yet HBO has gone to the trouble of including it, I suspect for the sole purpose of turning a bland, unoriginal character into an even grosser stereotype than he would otherwise have been while acting under the misapprehension that it would give him depth. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Logan doesn’t cease to be a cocky, punchable asshat just because you consented to put a naked white dude next to him for less time than it takes to have a really good shit; it just suggests that you, too, are a cocky, punchable asshat who should shit more in the bathroom and less on the fucking page. But I digress.

And then there’s the racism, which – and there’s no other way to put this – is presented as being an actual, intentional feature of the Westworld experience, even though it makes zero commercial sense to do this. Like. You have multiple white hosts who are programmed to make racist remarks about particular POC hosts, despite the fact that there are demonstrably POC customers paying to visit the park. You have a consistent motif of Native Americans being referred to as ‘savages’, both within Westworld-as-game and by the gamewriters themselves, with Native American mysticism being used to explain both the accidental glimpses various self-aware hosts get of the gamerunners and the in-game lore surrounding the maze. Demonstrably, the writers of Westworld are aware of this – why else is Episode 2, wherein writer character Lee Sizemore gleefully proposes a hella racist new story for the park, called ‘Chestnut’, as in old? I’ve said elsewhere that depiction is not endorsement, but it is perpetuation, and in a context where the point of Westworld as a commercial venture is demonstrably to appeal to customers of all genders, sexual orientations and races – all of whom we see in attendance – building in particular period-appropriate bigotries is utterly nonsensical.

More than this, as the openness with which the female prostitutes seduce female customers makes clear, it’s narratively inconsistent: clearly, not every bias of the era is being rigidly upheld. And yet it also makes perfect sense if you think of both Westworld and Westworld as being, predominantly, a product both created by and intended for a straight white male imagination. In text, Westworld’s stories are written by Lee and Robert, both of whom are straight white men, while Westworld itself was originally the conceit of Michael Crichton. Which isn’t to diminish the creative input of the many other people who’ve worked on the show – technically, it’s a masterclass in acting, direction, composition, music, lighting, special effects and editing, and those people deserve their props. It’s just that, in terms of narrative structure, by what I suspect is an accidental marriage of misguided purpose and unexamined habit, Westworld the series, like Westworld the park, functions primarily for a straight white male audience – and while I don’t doubt that there was some intent to critically highlight the failings of that perspective, as per the clear and very satisfying satirising of Lee Sizemore, as with Zack Snyder’s Suckerpunch and Lev Grossman’s The Magicians, the straight white male gaze is still so embedded as a lazy default that Westworld ends up amplifying its biases more often than it critiques them. (To quote something my straight white husband said while watching, “It’s my gaze, and I feel like I’m being parodied by it.”)

Though we do, as mentioned, see various women and people of colour enjoying the Westworld park, the customers who actually serve as protagonists – Logan, William and the Man in Black – are all white men. Logan is queer by virtue of a single man’s hand on his chest, but other than enforcing a pernicious stereotype about bisexual appetites and behaviours, it doesn’t do a damn thing to alter his characterisation. The end of season reveal that William is the Man in Black – that William’s scenes have all taken place thirty years in the past, shown to us now through Dolores’s memories – is a cleverly executed twist, and yet the chronicle of William’s transformation from youthful, romantic idealist to violent, sadistic predator only highlights the fundamental problem, which is that the Westworld park, despite being touted as an adventure for everyone – despite Robert using his customers as a basis for making universal judgements about human nature – is clearly a more comfortable environment for some than others. Certainly, if I was able to afford the $40,000 a day we’re told it costs to attend, I’d be disinclined to spend so much for the privilege of watching male robots, whatever their courtesy to me, routinely talk about raping women, to say nothing of being forced to witness the callousness of other customers to the various hosts.

It should be obvious that there’s no such thing as a universal fantasy, and yet much of Westworld’s psychological theorising about human nature and morality hinges on our accepting that the desire to play cowboy in a transfigured version of the old West is exactly this. That the final episode provides tantalising evidence that at least one other park with a different historical theme exists elsewhere in the complex doesn’t change the fact that S1 has sold us, via the various monologues of Logan and Lee, Robert and William and the Man in Black, the idea that Westworld specifically reveals deep truths about human nature.

Which brings us to Dolores, a female host whose primary narrative loop centres on her being a sweet, optimistic rancher’s daughter who, with every game reset, can be either raped or rescued from rape by the customers. That Dolores is our primary female character – that her narrative trajectory centres on her burgeoning sentience, her awareness of the repeat violations she’s suffered, and her refusal to remain a damsel – does not change the fact that making her thus victimised was a choice at both the internal (Westworld) and external (Westworld) levels. I say again unto HBO, I do not fucking care how edgy you think threats of sexual violence and the repeat objectification of women are: they’re not original, they’re not compelling, and in this particular instance, what you’ve actually succeeded in doing is undermining your core premise so spectacularly that I do not understand how anyone acting in good sense or conscience could let it happen.

Because in making host women like Dolores (white) and Maeve (a WOC), both of whom are repeatedly subject to sexual and physical violation, your lynchpin characters for the development of true human sentience from AIs – in making their memories of those violations the thing that spurs their development – you’re not actually asking the audience to consider what it means to be human. You’re asking them to consider the prospect that victims of rape and assault aren’t actually human in the first place, and then to think about how being repeatedly raped and assaulted might help them to gain humanity. And you’re not even being subtle about it, either, because by the end of S1, the entire Calvinistic premise is laid clear: that Robert and Arnold, the park’s founders, believed that tragedy and suffering was the cornerstone of sentience, and that the only way for hosts to surpass their programming is through misery. Which implies, by logical corollary, that Robert is doing the hosts a service by allowing others to hurt them or by hurting them himself – that they are only able to protest his mistreatment because the very fact of it gave them sentience.

Let that sink in for a moment, because it’s pretty fucking awful. The moral dilemma of Westworld, inasmuch as it exists, centres on the question of knowing culpability, and therefore asks a certain cognitive dissonance of the audience: on the one hand, the engineers and customers believe that the hosts aren’t real people, such that hurting them is no more an immoral act than playing Dark Side in a Star Wars RPG is; on the other hand, from an audience perspective, the hosts are demonstrably real people, or at the very least potential people, and we are quite reasonably distressed to see them hurt. Thus: if the humans in setting can’t reasonably be expected to know that the hosts are people, then we the audience are meant to feel conflicted about judging them for their acts of abuse and dehumanisation while still rooting for the hosts.

Ignore, for a moment, the additional grossness of the fact that both Dolores and Maeve are prompted to develop sentience, and are then subsequently guided in its emergence, by men, as though they are Eves being made from Adam’s rib. Ignore, too, the fact that it’s Dolores’s host father who, overwhelmed by the realisation of what is routinely done to his daughter, passes that fledgling sentience to Dolores, a white woman, who in turn passes it to Maeve, a woman of colour, without which those other male characters – William, Felix, Robert – would have no Galateas to their respective Pygmalions. Ignore all this, and consider the basic fucking question of personhood: of what it means to engage with AIs you know can pass a Turing test, who feel pain and bleed and die and exhibit every human symptom of pain and terror and revulsion as the need arises, who can improvise speech and memory, but who can by design give little or no consent to whatever it is you do to them. Harming such a person is not the same as engaging with a video game; we already know it’s not for any number of reasons, which means we can reasonably expect the characters in the show to know so, too. But even if you want to dispute that point – and I’m frankly not interested in engaging with someone who does – it doesn’t change the fact that Westworld is trying to invest us in a moral false equivalence.

The problem with telling stories about robots developing sentience is that both the robots and their masters are rendered at an identical, fictional distance to the (real, human) viewer. By definition, an audience doesn’t have to believe that a character is literally real in order to care about them; we simply have to accept their humanisation within the narrative. That being so, asking viewers to accept the dehumanisation of one fictional, sentient group while accepting the humanisation of another only works if you’re playing to prejudices we already have in the real world – such as racism or sexism, for instance – and as such, it’s not a coincidence that the AIs we see violated over and over are, almost exclusively, women and POC, while those protagonists who abuse them are, almost exclusively, white men. Meaning, in essence, that any initial acceptance of the abuse of hosts that we’re meant to have – or, by the same token, any initial excusing of abusers – is predicated on an existing form of bigotry: collectively, we are as used to doubting the experiences and personhood of women and POC as we are used to assuming the best about straight white men, and Westworld fully exploits that fact to tell its story.

Which, as much as it infuriates me, also leaves me with a dilemma in interpreting the show. Because as much as I dislike seeing marginalised groups exploited and harmed, I can appreciate the importance of aligning a fictional axis of oppression (being a host) with an actual axis of oppression (being female and/or a POC). Too often, SFFnal narratives try to tackle that sort of Othering without casting any actual Others, co-opting the trappings of dehumanisation to enhance our sympathy for a (mostly white, mostly straight) cast. And certainly, by the season finale, the deliberateness of this decision is made powerfully clear: joined by hosts Hector and Armistice and aided by Felix, a lab tech, Maeve makes her escape from Westworld, presenting us with the glorious image of three POC and one white woman battling their way free of oppressive control. And yet the reveal of Robert’s ultimate plans – the inference that Maeve’s rebellion wasn’t her own choice after all, but merely his programming of her; the revelation that Bernard is both a host and a recreation of Arnold, Robert’s old partner; the merging of Dolores’s arc with Wyatt’s – simultaneously serves to strip these characters of any true agency. Everything they’ve done has been at Robert’s whim; everything they’ve suffered has been because he wanted it so. As per the ubiquitous motif of the player piano, even when playing unexpected tunes, the hosts remain Robert’s instruments: even with his death, the songs they sing are his.

Westworld, then, is a study in contradictions, and yet is no contradiction at all. Though providing a stunning showcase for the acting talents of Thandie Newton, Evan Rachel Wood and Jeffrey Wright in particular, their characters are nonetheless all controlled by Anthony Hopkins’s genial-creepy Robert, and that doesn’t really change throughout the season. Though the tropes of old West narratives are plainly up for discussion, any wider discussion of stereotyping is as likely to have a lampshade hung on it as to be absent altogether, and that’s definitely a problem. Not being familiar with the Michael Crichton film and TV show, I can’t pass judgement on the extent to which this new adaptation draws from or surpasses the source material. I can, however, observe that the original film dates to the 1970s, which possibly goes some way to explaining the uncritical straight white male gazieness embedded in the premise. Even so, there’s something strikingly reminiscent of Joss Whedon to this permutation of Westworld, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. The combination of a technologically updated old West, intended to stand as both a literal and metaphoric frontier, the genre-aware meta-narrative that nonetheless perpetuates more stereotypes than it subverts, and the supposed moral dilemma of abusing those who can’t consent feels at times like a mashup of Firefly, Cabin in the Woods and Dollhouse that has staunchly failed to improve on Whedon’s many intersectional failings.

And yet, I suspect, I’ll still be poking my nose into Season 2, if only to see how Thandie Newton is doing. It feels like an absurdly low bar to say that, compared to most of HBO’s popular content, Westworld is more tell than show in portraying sexual violence, preferring to focus on the emotional lead-in and aftermath rather than the act itself, and yet that small consideration does ratchet the proverbial dial down a smidge when watching it – enough so that I’m prepared to say it’s vastly less offensive in that respect than, say, Game of Thrones. But it’s still there, still a fundamental part of the plot, and that’s going to be a not unreasonable dealbreaker for a lot of people; as is the fact that the only queer female character dies. Westworld certainly makes compelling television, but unlike the human protagonists, I wouldn’t want to live there.

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