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let-it-raines · 4 years ago

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Walking the Baseline (1/1)

He’s at the top of his game. She’s in the midst of a comeback. The Olympics are just around the corner, and there’s more than gold medals on the line. There’s secrets and personal lives and a lot more at risk than simply losing, but as most know, Killian Jones and Emma Swan hate to lose.

rating: mature (just to err on the safe side)

a/n: Hello, hello, my darlings! I was informed of the @captainswanolympics as I’ve missed so much in my time of only checking messages and posting YWUSS, and I just had to write a tennis AU. If you know me, you know I played tennis back in the day, worked behind the scenes for a professional tennis tournament, and am an avid fan, so the fact that I haven’t written more CS tennis is surprising. lol.

This one is short and sweet, and it’s the first CS I’ve written in months. So I genuinely hope you enjoy it. And no, you don’t have to know tennis to understand 🎾

ao3: | here |

tag list: @qualitycoffeethings @mrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @jonirobinson64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @sherifemma @galaxyzxstark @galadriel26 @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @nikkiemms @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @superchocovian @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @lfh1226-linda @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo

-/-

“My legs feel like jelly,” Emma sighs as she sinks into an ice bath. It’s never pleasant, and it may not even help, but it makes her feel better every time. “Like, I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk when I get out of here. I don’t think I can even stand now.”

“You say that after every long match,” David tells her, clicking away at his iPad. There’s no doubt he’s studying her stats and about to pick her apart in a friendly yet incredibly harsh way that is a David trademark. “Is your shoulder okay? Your first serve percentage was up, but your speed was down.”

Yep. He’s so predictable. She knew that was coming the moment she decided to change the speed on her serves.

“I’m fine. I’m tired. I mean, shit, David. It’s like the tour is trying to ruin our bodies. My last two-week break was when? March? It’s almost August, and it’s not going to stop there.”

“You’ve made it before. You can do it again.”

“That’s not encouraging.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me that I don’t have to do this.”

David looks up from his iPad, brow raised, and she knows she’s not going to get the answer she wants. He doesn’t tell her she can quit unless they’re in a heated argument after disagreeing on her service motion or her footwork, which will always be her downfall when she’s exhausted, or any other aspect of her game. That’s what happens when your coach is not only your couch but also your older brother.

“I’m not going to say that. You’re in the quarterfinals. You play against Svitolina, who you have an excellent record against, and then in the semis, it could go either way with French or Stephens. That’s who we’re worried about. We’re not thinking about the finals until we’re in the finals.”

“I’m not thinking about just the finals. I’m thinking about the fact that I played Madrid, Rome, Roland Garros, Eastbourne, Wimbledon, Washington, here. And now I’m supposed to fly to Rio for the Olympics, then fly to Cincinnati, and then New York. And after New York, we almost immediately fly to Beijing, and it doesn’t stop. I get, what? A month and a half off, but it’s not really off time because we spend that time fixing everything for next season. The only way I get a break is if I lose or I get injured, and I don’t want either of those things.”

Emma’s chest heaves as she finishes speaking, the words flying out faster than her mind can come up with them as she runs through her tournament schedule, and David doesn’t blink. He stares at her like he always does, and sometimes she swears it’s like staring at a male version of herself. And she knows what’s coming. She always does. David never got to play past college, the professional circuit too much for his body, and he always pulls the card of how much he would give to be playing right now, to be in her position. She gets it. If she was in his position, she would do the same thing, but right now, all she really wants is to cry.

“You have worked too hard to quit, Emma,” David sighs, giving her a patented big-brother condescending stare. “You are not going to quit. I know this part of the season is rough, but you push through it every year. And imagine how good it’s going to feel when you have a gold medal around your neck or when you have that US Open trophy in your hands. You don’t get to play forever, and you’re the one who said that you weren’t quitting when everyone would have easily expected it. Do you want to prove them right?”

Emma moves in the bath, sinking a little lower, and damn, her sports bra is going to be impossible to get off. Her gaze shifts from David to the TV where ESPN commentators are sitting at a desk, her Nike-approved picture on the screen beside them. They run through the stats of her match and then her overall career stats. She’s twenty-eight, which is apparently at the end of her career according to them, world number seven, which is also abysmal to them somehow, and she is not living up to her potential when she is a former world number one, six-time grand slam champion, and a gold medalist from four years ago in London.

She groans and tries not to think about how much she hates all the people who work for ESPN. They have their favorites and the ones they hate, and since she is not a mediocre American male or one of the all-time greats, she’s somewhere in between. Usually, she doesn’t listen to the comments, to the pundits, to the assholes. She tries to stay away from that because it will drive her into a deep state of negativity, but lately, it’s like she can’t get enough of listening to what people say about her as if it is going to give her some kind of insight to her game.

She doesn’t crave their validation, but maybe, in a twisted way, she does.

“She gave birth sixteen months ago,” Mary Jo sighs. “She came back a year after giving birth. She is not going to be who she was before she had a child. The fact that she’s won enough this year to be in the top ten is amazing when she started with no ranking since there are no tour protections for maternity leave. She’s a champion, and sometimes champions struggle as they get their form back.”

“Sixteen months is a long damn time,” Patrick says, and Emma’s vagina would beg to differ. “She should be back to how she was or she shouldn’t be playing.”

“Have you given birth, Patrick? Because unless you have, I don’t think you get a say.”

“It’s my job to say what I think.”

“Still, I think – ”

The television clicks off, and Emma’s gaze finds its way back to David. “We’re not listening to them. It’ll piss you off. Mary Jo is right. You’re doing amazing, and I don’t want you to forget that.”

Emma doesn’t know if she’s doing amazing, doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time. This job is hard enough, to kill your body while also having the eyes of the world on you, but adding in a baby? It’s nearly impossible. A few other women have done it before her, not all with spectacular returns or returns at all, and she wants to keep getting better and play for long enough that Olivia will be able to see her mom play and remember it.

She’s not just doing it for herself. She’s doing it for her daughter, whose entrance into the world was unplanned, terrifying, and the best damn thing to ever happen to Emma even if she doubts herself in motherhood every day.

“I miss her,” Emma whispers to David, reaching up to play with her necklace, Olivia’s initials engraved in the gold circle. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it two more weeks without seeing her.”

“Do you want me to get Mary Margaret to FaceTime you with her? They’ve been watching your match at home.”

“No, no.” She shakes her head and releases the pendant, her resolve back as she inhales and focuses on her job. “Let’s do the rest of my recovery and talk about the match. I’ll call them when we get back to the hotel. I don’t want to get my mind too much out of the game.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

-/-

She wins her next match. And the next.

She loses in the final.

It stings more than her losses usually do, and there have been a hell of a lot of them, but she wanted to win another premiere event. She’s only been winning small events so far this year and making it to the later stages of the bigger events, but she keeps falling short when it’s time for her to push herself over the limit. Emma knows that her time will come, but she’s exhausted.

-/-

She flies to Rio with the rest of the American team who were playing in Montreal and Toronto, and she sleeps the entire ride down.

It’s the most sleep she’s gotten since she gave birth.

-/-

The 2012 Olympics felt familiar for Emma. The matches happened at Wimbledon, a place she’s known since she was sixteen years old and has watched on TV since she was even younger than that. Tennis players were isolated from the rest of the sports and events, and they all stayed in their usual rented houses and apartments instead of the Village or other hotels. Rio is different and completely unfamiliar. She’s staying in the Village, and while the amenities aren’t the best, the spirit of the Games are everywhere. She’s seeing athletes she’s only ever seen on TV before, meeting dozens of people whose names quickly slip out of her mind no matter how hard she tries to keep them there, and it’s impossible not to get excited to see all of these great athletes gathered together.

When she was a kid sitting in a foster home with David, the two of them wondering if they’d ever have a forever home, they would watch reruns of the Olympics on the TV, just waiting for the live ones to come around. It was an escape to get to watch people only a few years older than them doing these great things, and even after Ruth adopted them and paid for them to play sports, they never could have imagined being here.

Emma, sitting on a park bench outside with prestigious gymnasts walking in front of her, still can’t imagine it, and she’s literally here.

“Am I allowed to sit here or is that considered fraternizing with the enemy?”

Emma glances up and sees Killian Jones already sliding onto the bench in front of her. He’s darker than the last time she saw him in person, his hair longer, teeth possibly whiter, and he definitely hasn’t shaved in a few too many days. But the cocky, almost a little too arrogant, smile is the same, and even if she said no, he would still sit across from her. She knows him well enough to know that now.

“As far as I’m aware, you’re not playing mixed doubles, so I don’t think you count as an enemy.”

“Ah, but, love, Americans and Brits have been enemies since the beginning. That doesn’t change here.”

“Everyone else gets along. You’re just a competitive ass.”

“Indeed I am.” He wiggles his brows and leans forward, smirk stretched across his lips. “So, I was handed a bag full of Olympic-themed condoms when I checked in. Would you like to go try them out?”

“Shut up,” Emma laughs, kicking his leg. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Too many things to count.” He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, muscles ever-so-slightly bulging underneath his Team Great Britain t-shirt. She’s wearing a similar one with USA emblazoned in the biggest font she’s ever seen. Not a lot of subtly going on at the moment. “Where’s Ruby? David? Any of the other Americans? Shouldn’t you all be eating or practicing or doing something besides sitting on a bench by the water?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

“Touché, Swan. Touché. Will and I were on the way to eat, but I saw you and got distracted. I don’t have practice until later. Rob is forcing me to give myself a break so I don’t exhaust myself after Toronto.”

“Well, you do have old bones.”

“Oi, I am thirty-two and at the top of my game. How many people can say that?”

“Anyone who is not an athlete.”

Killian shrugs and tilts his head to the side, rolling his shoulders. He’s right, though. Killian is playing better than he ever has. He’s always been good ever since he was touted to be Great Britain’s next big thing. She watched for years as the British media slagged him off for not having won Wimbledon despite having won the other majors two times around, but six years ago, he won after a five-hour, grueling match and fell onto the ground. The image was everywhere, and now, every time she’s in London or Wimbledon, that image lines the walls. It’s how she felt when she won the US Open. All of the major are special, but winning your home one, if you’re lucky enough to have one, is something else. And now Killian is world number one once more, has won two majors in a row with several premiere events in between, and with his form, she can’t imagine him losing.

But that’s why you lace up the sneakers. You never know what’s going to happen.

She’s been around the game long enough to know that.

Killian too.

Their paths have crossed for years, mostly because they have the same sponsors and do a lot of promotional events together, but the more they both started winning, the more they’d see each other at tournaments and dinners and everything in between. It’s a busy life, and while there’s time to make friends outside of tennis, sometimes it’s easier to find people in the industry.

She’s not entirely sure she would call Killian Jones a friend.

“Have you eaten, love?” he asks.

“Not yet.” On cue, her stomach growls, and he smirks, not that he really stopped.

“Why don’t you come with me? You can sit with us before we take the bus to the courts for training.”

“What happened to fraternizing with the enemy?”

He leans forward and winks. “For you, I’ll make an exception.”

Emma laughs but nods and stands with Killian as they walk to the main dining hall. It’s packed, the room echoing with conversation and laughter, and Emma and Killian are stopped several times to take pictures and sign autographs, something she will never get used to, before they sit down with Will, Rob, and several other plays from all around the world. For a minute, it’s like they’re in their usual bubble that they live in for the rest of the year with only tennis players around, but then Emma sees Usain Bolt walk by and she knows they’re not.

This is weird.

This is wonderful.

This is almost everything.

-/-

The Opening Ceremonies are long and sometimes boring, and she hates the outfit she has to wear, but she doesn’t know if she’ll get to do this again in four years so she savors it.

She savors it all, walking side by side with Ruby, Ashley, and Anna, and she takes all of it in before her mind switches to work-mode as she runs through her opponent for her first match. The nerves have been pushed down in favor of the experience, but they’re back and in full-force.

She cannot lose in the first round.

-/-

She doesn’t. -/-

She doesn’t lose her next few matches either.

-/-

Emma’s made it to the quarterfinals in both singles and doubles with Ruby after several days of long matches and struggling to see the ball – whoever thought making a fully green court with green side walls for tennis has obviously never played tennis, and she never wants to play on center court again – and she knows she’s one win away from guaranteeing that she plays in a medal-winning match.

It’s a relief and pressure all at once, something she’ll never grow used to, and as the sun sets and the village begins to get loud, Emma sits on her balcony watching the fountains in the lake light up. Ruby is off with Mulan somewhere Emma would rather not know about and will probably not be back to their room until at least tomorrow morning if the look on Ruby’s face was any indication, so Emma thinks she might get a little time to sit down and breathe for a moment, watching different events on TV. She could go watch them, but she doesn’t think her legs will carry her there.

Until her phone buzzes with a text that she quickly answers, and not three minutes later, there’s a knock at her door.

Emma quickly opens it, pulling him inside, and Killian kicks the door closed behind him as he cups her cheeks and kisses her, long and slow but with enough heat simmering below the surface that Emma knows there could be a promise of more later.

She’s seen him nearly every day for the past week, but she’s missed him.

She’s missed this.

His mouth moves expertly over hers in a rhythm that’s been practiced to perfection, and she feels dizzy with his kiss and holds onto his hair to keep her standing up. The Brazilian summer air wafts through the room, coating it in a thick heat, but Emma doesn’t pay any attention to that as heat curls between her thighs, warming her more than the air ever could. Her legs ache from the match, her arms feel heavy, but Killian makes her forget those things as he lays her down on the bed and kisses every inch of her body, spending time with his dark head of hair buried beneath her thighs until she can no longer speak.

Until she can scarcely breathe as well.

She manages to laugh, though, when he pulls out one of the condoms that has the Olympics logo on it, and she and Killian makes jokes about it as he slides into her, a thick sheath of heat that she never gets used to. It’s slow at first, a gentle rocking that keeps her teetering on the edge, but their bodies are tired and worn, and soon, it’s a race to the finish line.

Emma comes in first, not that it matters.

(But it does feel good to beat him.)

(They’re both competitive asses.)

(Even when they shouldn’t be.)

After, they’re both slick with sweat that doesn’t go away as their bodies press together on the small twin bed. Emma almost wishes she had rented a house outside the village like David and some of the other coaches did, but she doesn’t want to give up the experience. And it’s fine, especially as Killian shifts behind her and lets her settle into him, her hips pressing back into his as his arm wraps around to rest on her stomach, fingers occasionally searching out for her breast.

Emma is exhausted, but this is the best she’s felt in weeks.

(She definitely couldn’t walk to any of the events now, and she did want to see Phelps swim.)

“You played bloody fantastic in your doubles match today.”

“Not my singles?”

“I played at the same time as you. I didn’t get a chance to watch.”

Emma hums and leans further back into him. She’s glad Killian did most of the work because just thinking about how much she’s got to move again tomorrow is making her sore. “I played well there too. Straight sets.”

“Atta girl.” His lips press into her neck, stubble scratching across the skin. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh, that’s always dangerous.”

Killian laughs but nudges his knee into her, which really only settles his cock between her ass, but she’s too tired to think of doing anything else. “I’ve been thinking,” he continues, “that I’m going to withdraw from Cincinnati and fly home instead.”

“To London?”

“To Palm Beach. I think it might be nice to have a calm week between tournaments to spend time with my girlfriend.”

“Oh really? You’ll have to tell her your plan. I’m sure she’d like that.”

Killian tickles her stomach, making her squirm, before he lightly pinches her side. “Mhm. I thought we might also like to spend time with our daughter since FaceTime isn’t cutting it for me anymore. I swear she’s grown three feet since I last saw her.”

“Four, I think. She’s basically a full-grown adult now with all that walking and talking she’s doing.”

“Has she said any new words I’m not aware of?”

“Nope. She still can only say the three.”

“Good. I’m glad I didn’t miss anything else.” Killian kisses the side of Emma’s neck again, and she twists around, wrapping her arms around him and pressing their noses together as she stares into blue, blue eyes that aren’t diminished by the darkened room. “I think we should bring her to New York with us. Hopefully at least one of us will be there for three weeks, and that’s just too long to go without her.”

“We’re staying in a hotel in New York. In two separate suites, I might add.”

“But we don’t have to.”

“Killian…”

His hand brushes down her side, warmth permeating from the rough fingertips, before it rests on her hip, thumb moving in soothing circles. “I’ve already called and seen if they could give me the Penthouse. It’s an entire floor with private entrances and a private elevator. Our teams can stay with us or they can stay in the original suites we were designated. I know you bring her with you when you can and that I sneak in visits, but I want to be able to stay with my daughter.”

This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, and if she doesn’t say yes to it, it won’t be the last.

Things between she and Killian are complicated. They’re relationship isn’t, not anymore. At first, she couldn’t stand him, thought he was genuinely this cocky asshole from the way he talked in matches and in off-court interviews, like he was God’s gift to the sport or something. Then they ended up both winning in Australia four years ago, and while doing press together, she saw a different, kinder side to him that she hadn’t previously seen when they worked together in Nike promotions.

Fast forward through a lot of early morning calls, late night rendezvous in their hotel rooms, and a heck of a lot of texts and FaceTime sessions, and somewhere along the way, the impenetrable Emma Swan fell in love with the impossible Killian Jones.

They kept it secret, the both of them knowing how vicious the media is to athletes that date each other, especially since Killian was going through a wrist injury that was somehow his fault according to the pundits and that he was getting hounded pretty hard at the time. They didn’t know if it was going to work, neither of them having stellar relationship records, but they figured eventually they would be okay with the world knowing.

Then came the positive pregnancy test, and Emma’s entire world shifted.

She was at the top of her game, at the top of her world, and as hard as it is for her to admit now, she didn’t want Olivia. She wanted to keep living her life the way it was. That was a possibility but not one she was willing to take, so she stopped playing but kept training as she and Killian figured out how they were going to do this.

They’re never home, rarely together, and they were both way out of their leagues. It would have been easier to tell the world they were together, that Killian was the father, but Olivia’s protection is worth more than their ease.

Now, though, looking at the crease between Killian’s brow and the sadness pooled in his eyes, she wonders if they’re doing the right thing.

“I know. I’m sorry. I – ” Emma’s lips quiver, and she nearly cries. She’s exhausted beyond belief and doesn’t know what to do, so she buries her face in Killian’s neck and wraps her arms around him. “Can we talk about this on the plane ride home?”

Emma says home as if they’re going to the same place after this. They’re not. But maybe she should listen to Killian and take the break she’s been craving.

“Aye, love, if that’s what you want.”

She nods and feels his lips ghost over the crown of her hair. “I want to lay here with you and not think about tennis or make hard decisions.”

“You want to talk about how bloody uncomfortable this bed is?”

Emma laughs. “It really makes you miss those awful ones in Paris.”

“You had to ask for a new one.”

“It was so worth it.”

-/-

They FaceTime Olivia in the morning. Mary Margaret has her in a matching outfit to Emma’s uniform, and Killian scoffs that she’s representing America instead of Great Britain.

Emma thinks it’s the best thing in the world, and it reminds her who she’s playing for.

It’s not for her country, not for herself. It’s for her daughter.

Their daughter.

-/-

The next two days drag by and yet she has a difficult time keeping up with them. Her practices are long, recovery longer as her shoulders are massaged and legs are iced, and Ruby has to drag her out onto the court for doubles when all she wants to do is sleep. She’s not used to playing this many matches in such a short period of time, and while having Ruby on court with her helps lessen how much she runs, her legs are still aching.

She’s almost to the finish line. She can make it.

“Those legs are too pretty for you to be dragging them like that,” Ruby jokes as they sit down during a changeover in the third set of their quarterfinal match. Emma reaches for her energy drink and takes a sip before biting into a banana while Ruby shakes her legs.

“I can’t make them move.”

“Yes, you can,” Ruby insists. “You already won your singles today, and we’re four games away from winning this match. I will kick your ass if we don’t win this.”

“Can you kick my ass if it’s already kicked?”

“I can indeed.” Ruby pats Emma’s knees and smiles. “Come on, hot mama. We’ve got this.”

And it’s tough, but they do.

Emma and Ruby go through recovery, and when Emma checks her watch, she sees that Killian’s match is just about to start.

“Do you want to get a bus across the grounds and go watch swimming?” Ruby asks her as David massages her calf. It’s not his job, so he obviously can’t stop complaining about doing it.

“I think I want to watch Killian’s match. Can we get seats in the stadium? Is his box empty?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” David asks her as her muscle spasms.

“If we all go, it won’t be suspicious. He’s playing Sam, so they might think we’re supporting the Americans.”

“Aren’t we?”

Her eyes roll. “Not in this situation. Come on. Text Rob and see if we can get into Killian’s box.”

David levels her with a stare, and she knows he’s going to say no, that it’s a bad idea. But then he releases her leg and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

They end up going still dressed in their match clothes, and Emma puts on a sweatshirt, a cap, and sunglasses to hide herself as much as possible. She knows it won’t work considering she’s literally wearing the outfit she has worn all week, but she can at least try. It’s been years since she’s gotten to watch one of Killian’s matches from somewhere other than the locker room or her hotel room, and she’s missed the magic of watching him play. He’s fluid with his motions, even if they are slower than they used to be, and his groundstrokes are powerful from the baseline. She knows from the moment that she sits down that he’s winning this match. She can tell by the way he’s carrying himself and the determination in his eyes. She grabs her phone and snaps a picture just as he looks her way, brow raised in question but a smile on his lips.

-/-

Killian wins his match, and she finds him in the tunnel afterward, his team creating a wall around them, and wraps her arms around him, not caring that they are both disgustingly sweaty or around other people.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“And I you.” The corner of his lips brush against her temple. “You’re amazing, Emma. Bloody amazing.”

“You too, my love.”

-/-

Emma wins the semifinals of both of her matches.

Killian wins his.

They’re both playing in gold medal matches – Emma definitely brags about how she’s playing two while Killian is only playing one – and she wants to vomit.

Holy shit.

-/-

“Say hi to your mommy,” Mary Margaret tells Olivia as Olivia keeps smacking her hand on the screen. “Your mom and dad are there trying to talk to you, Livvie.”

Emma leans her head onto Killian’s shoulder as they both stare into the screen waiting for Olivia to move her hand. She does with some help from Mary Margaret, and then bright green eyes show up. She has Emma’s eyes and dirty blonde hair that’s thick and wavy, but everything else about her screams Killian, especially her smile. Emma has missed that smile.

“Hello, little love.” Killian waves and tries to get her attention, but she couldn’t care less. “Don’t you want to talk to us?”

She makes a noise that isn’t a word, and Mary Margaret sighs. “I’m sorry. She’s been asking about you two, but now that you’re there, she doesn’t care. I tried to tell her what a big deal the two of you were, but she doesn’t care.”

“I’ll have to tell her how incredible her mother is later. She’s going to be the first women to win two singles golds in a row as well as the first mum to do it. And she’s going to have two more medals than me. Showing me up in every category.”

“That’s assuming you win, Jones. I could have three more gold medals than you.”

“I do love a challenge.”

Olivia starts giggling, Emma’s favorite noise on the planet, and she tries to memorize it to keep with her always. She knows Killian does too.

-/-

Emma’s gold medal matches are the day before Killian’s, and she’s jealous he gets a day off to rest. He tells her he’s going to spend the entire time training, sneaking in and out of other events, and watching her matches. She rolls her eyes at his texts because she’s sure he won’t have time to do all of that.

And yet he does.

She sees him in the stands during her doubles match. Ruby points him out when they’re in the middle of discussing serving spots, and Emma laughs at her calling him “lover boy” in a horrible British accent. She always calls him a ridiculous name, and of the few people who know of Emma’s private life, she’s glad Ruby is one of them.

Even if she’s still laughing and double faults on an important point.

It doesn’t matter, though, because within an hour and fifteen minutes, their shortest match of the tournament, she’s on the court’s floor with Ruby sobbing because they won a fucking gold medal.

She gets so little time to savor it, however, because the medal ceremony happens so quickly that she can barely take It all in. She also has press to do, and David has to practically force her into the media room where she and Ruby are hounded with more questions than congratulation as they clutch onto their medals. Ruby handles it like the pro she is while Emma’s nerves start to get the best of her as more people start talking about what she has on the line.

To be the first man or woman to win two gold singles medals in consecutive Olympics.

To win another gold medal for her country.

To be the first mother since Clijsters to win a major tournament.

To win her first big tournament since her comeback.

To have the possibility to win another gold medal in Tokyo in four years if she’s still playing.

It’s a lot, and she knows it. She’s been thinking about all of it every day this week, and her track record of choking in finals lately is pushing at the forefront of her mind.

She doesn’t know if she can do it.

And yet she does.

She laces up her sneakers, pulls her hair back, and takes a deep breath as she blocks everything out of her mind except for her game plan. She knows how the game is played. She’s been playing since she was twelve years old, and even though that’s a late start compared to most people, it’s gotten her here.

Emma walks out of the tunnel as her name is announced over the speakers, and even though all she can hear is the cheer of the crowd, she lets her mind go back to Olivia’s laugh, Killian’s smile, David’s pep talk, Ruby’s ridiculous texts. She thinks of all the things that push her when she wants to stop, and she reminds herself that no matter what happens, she’s done her best.

She could have given up the moment the stick said “pregnant.” She could have packed it all in, but she didn’t. She’s here, and she’s better than any excuse she could come up with not to be.

People have tried to tell her who she is her entire life, but she’s pushed back and said, “no, this is who I am.” Emma still has to do that now, no matter how many times she has proven herself.

The ice bath in Montreal where she wanted to quit seems years away when it was only eight days.

-/-

Emma looks to Ruby then David then Killian as she takes a deep breath on match point. Killian smiles and gives her a subtle nod, and then she raises the ball in the air, ready to toss it.

-/-

Game. Set. Gold freaking medal.

-/-

Afterward, she falls to the ground, her knees aching as they hit the asphalt, and her body can’t stop shaking with her sobs. She doesn’t know what she feels or how she feels or even where she is, and she only gets up from the ground when she hears her family calling for her. She slowly rises from the ground, runs across the court to congratulate her opponent on playing a good match, and then she’s running to the stands and climbing up with David’s help. She embraces him first. She wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. he’s been her rock for her entire life, and he keeps her steady. Then it’s her physio and her agent and Ruby. Then, over to the side, is Killian, and their conversation from a few nights ago comes back to her.

She loves him. She’s proud to be with him. They shouldn’t have to hide their family anymore.

They haven’t exactly been doing a good job of it this week anyway.

So Emma very literally pounces on him, her legs wrapping around his waist, before she remembers that he has a match tomorrow. She can’t miss his back up. He’d never let it go if she did. Her feet fall to the ground, but her arms stay wrapped around Killian’s neck as he whispers words of encouragement and congratulations that she’s always going to keep close to her heart, right next to the necklace with the initials O-S-J on them.

Two people thousands of miles apart were brought together by chances, a whole myriad of them. If Ruth hadn’t adopted Emma and David, they never would have picked up a racket. If Emma had never picked up a racket, she wouldn’t have found her purpose in this world. She wouldn’t have a job or a daughter or a man who loves her in spite of how hard she is to love. There was so much that could have derailed her, both good and bad, and while she could say none of it matters, in some way, it all does.

Because it led her here.

And she doesn’t want to be anywhere else even if she would give anything to be able to hug Olivia right now.

“You did so good, Swan,” Killian whispers, his voice the only one she hears.

“I know.”

He pulls back, and there are tears in his eyes that mirror her own. “So, I guess I have to win tomorrow so your bragging rights don’t get too big.”

“Oh, Jones, you are never catching up with me now,” she teases, all of the exhaustion melting away. “I’m miles ahead of you, but you better win. Olivia doesn’t need to be embarrassed by her dad.”

“Pretty sure that’s my job.”

“Right now, your only job is to help me back down onto the court and then go win yourself a gold medal.”

“Don’t tell the presses you’re rooting for a Brit.”

Emma shrugs as Killian thumbs away tears underneath her eyes. “I don’t care anymore, and I’m definitely going to be sitting in your box tomorrow, cheering louder than anyone else.”

-/-

When Killian wins the next night after a torturous four hours, his fall is almost identical to Emma’s. Though, when he climbs into the stands to get to the box, he immediately goes for Emma, cupping her cheeks and kissing her for the entire world to see.

“I guess I’ll have to figure out a way to embarrass our daughter in another way.”

“I think her parents making out on international TV might do just that.”

-/-

Two days after they get home – they spent the entire first day sleeping and holding Olivia – Emma puts on her three gold medals, Killian puts on his one, and they hold Olivia in between them, her toothy smile brighter than the gold as the photo is taken.

Olivia Swan-Jones has a pretty cool mom and a dad who has some catching up to do in the gold medal department.

It’s Emma’s most liked picture on Instagram, not that she cares about any of those things, and it’s the biggest news story for three days straight despite the literal Olympics still happening.

All Emma cares about, though, is that she has a week off – she opted out of Cincinnati after all, despite David’s protests – she can spend with her family before she and Killian are off to New York where the pressure will be the highest it’s ever been and the media will most likely be losing their shit over Emma and Killian’s announcements.

Olivia will be with her, Killian too, and in the end, that’s all that matters.

Oh, that, and the fact that Emma Swan is officially back, and it feels damn good.

-/-

Thanks for reading, my friends! Can’t wait for those 2021 Olympics 🤞and learning about sports I’ve still somehow never heard of. And if you want to talk to me about tennis, I’m fully here to talk about Rafael Nadal’s biceps and how his game is underrated despite being one of the most dominant athletes of all time 💚😂

#walking the baseline #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #cs olympics #captain swan fanfic #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #captain swan #csow

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 1 (#20-#11)

Hello Hello Hello animation fans! And welcome to something i’ve wanted to since last year. See I had the idea for a best episodes list back in 2019: rather than do a best shows list, which would be only about half of 20+ shows anyway, I thought i’d do a best episode lists: to give as many shows a possiblitiy to shine as possible while still honoring the best of the year. But my own natural foibles got the better of me: I INSISSITED on watching everything I missed.. then just kept putting THAT off until it was was spring, shows were coming back and I just threw up my hands. I’ve regretted it ever since and vowed, especially since in the interim animation went from just being something I analyized for fun to my analyzing it for fun AND profit, to get it done this year. So I had to make a few caveats. First I gave myself at first till the 31st of the year and then due to covid and everything that happened, until the end of the first week or so of the year, i.e. today, to watch as much as I could. So several shows are missing. Some I REALLY got behind on and don’t have an excuse for (Craig of the Creek and Big City Greens), others I also really liked but my depression made it really hard to watch (F is for Family and very nearly Bojack), some I just kept putting off ever starting or forgot to start entirely (Hilda, yes even since season 1, Kipo: Age of the Wonderbeasts and It’s Pony) and some.. I gave up because as you can tell I sit on shows way too often (Ilve action wise I still need to get back to Doom Patrol), and I realized i’d rather watch stuff old and new I care about than waste time with something that I just stopped liking, i.e. Rick and Morty and Big Mouth which i’m guaranteed some flack for saying but I dont’ care. I have my reasons, and while I originally GAVE those reasons I decided to leave them out: this list is not about me bitching about why I quit certain shows. I’m a grown ass man, I can quit a show anytime, and given last year was such a craphole, I think we could use less piss and vinegar and more sugar. So before we begin, a bit about the state of animation last year: It was in flux. WIth a new decade dawning we got great new shows like Owl House, Close Enough, which in a year full of terrible suprises not only FINALLY got released but did so with a second season order, Solar Opposities, the Midnight Gospel and Kipo: Age of Wonderbeasts. Ducktales returned for it’s best season ever. Amphibia returned for a pretty good season. Disney brought back the wonderful mickey mouse shorts towards the end of the year, FINALLY given D+ some non-movie animated content. The Casagrandes got better as it went and just barely didn’t make this list and the Loud House kept on trucking and shows no signs of stopping with a season renewal and a movie coming out. And Adventure Time staged a comeback a few years after it died and while I haven’t seen BMO yet, Obsidian was fantastic and only barely didn’t make the list.

Not only that but we got great new series announced for the next two years: Lumberjanes is FINALLY getting adapted and by Noelle Stevenson herself. Gendy Tarkovsky is not only returning to children’s animation but with a wonderously weird concept about immortal unicorns turned into teens> There’s a promising show about a ghost and a plucky tween coming this summer. The Rise of the TMNT movie is still happening. Craig McCracken is also coming back. But naturally given this was 2020 the news wasn’t all good as we said goodbye to a lot of shows.. and this was after 2019 already took several from us, OK KO still being the hardest loss to this day and Star Vs very disapointing finale still leaving a bad taste in my mouth: Most gutpunchingly, the two frontrunners of animation at the time, shows that truly changed the game and probably gave other shows a chance at life they never would’ve had, including some on this list, ended.

Steven Universe took it’s final bow after we got one last trip to beach city with the Future miniseries, with the show ending gracefully and beautifully, and having pulled off it’s third succesive possible ending for the franchise and it’s defntive ending for steven’s story. Bojack did the same not long before, ending on a bittersweet but beautiful note and with a one two punch of the series best episode and i’ts second best episode, a satsifying but bittersweet finale we’ll get to. Both shows as I said have set hte standards and tones for most animation after them, and both’s absence is felt. She Ra suprisingly ended, though with a beautiful and wonderful finale we’ll, again, get to, and on i’ts own terms, but given it was the most likely to take up the shield from steven, it was another punch. Less peacefully was the ending of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a show I caught up on after it’s demise which was screwed by the network over toy sales because that’s.. still.. a thing.

There is a light of hope, as the movie is somehow still in production and if it does well we may get season 3, but it’s dim and given the show, despite it’s flaws, had found itself and the finale, which they were given weeks to put together, was spectacular and, say it with me now “we’ll get to that”, I really hope it does. And that nick learns how to run an animation company for fuck’s sake.

Infnity Train while not dead, is on life support despite having it’s best season in season 2 and an okay season that still tackeled racisim very well even if story wise the season faltered, at a time when we REALLY need to tackle racisim in our entertaiment period. Venture Bros meanwihle was just flat out canceled for no given reason despite both having as eason renewal order and you know, being Adult Swim’s highest rated and best show for over a decade. Like Infinity Train and Rise there’s a SCRAP of hope, both adult swim and hbo max are apparently looking into ways to bring it back so a finale movie or a season 6 comic are propable, but given the show ended on two big cliffhangers, and given 2020 already had pushed back a LOT of things I’d looked forward to for good reason, and had now just outright killed a show, it was a massive shattering blow and easily the biggest of the year. But coming VERY close was finding out Ducktales was ending. While the finale would serve as a proper finale, I feel the show easily could’ve had more seasons.. Disney just dosen’t let shows go on forever, or sometimes not even for a reasonable amount.. or put those shows it didn’t let go on a resonable amount on Disney Plus.. and I will be bringing that last part up until Wonder Over Yonder is FINALLY put on the platform, along with MANy other shows. Figure it out. But yeah that was ANOTHER show I thought would lead the way and like Gravity Falls lead to Ducktales, Ducktales will probably lead to more shows including HOPEFULLY a frank and matt lead Darkwing Duck.. and even that’s in jeapordy since instead it might be done by Seth Rogan’s company who while not bad people and if their working on Frakn’s reboot great.. are not the people who spent three seasons setitng up a reboot in a unvierse they already spent three seasons deftly crafting. I DOUBT Frank won’t be involved since Let’s Get Dangerous was promoted to hell and back, but again given this is disney.. it worries me and I won’t be settled on this till we get conformation of a proper reboot with frank and matt at the helm.

Point is it was a rough year for animatoin even without covid taken into account pushing back seasons and forcing a change in work habits. But as this list attests even in the worst year in recenet memory, here’s hoping 2021 dosen’t say hold my beer, there was some damn fine animation, including some of the best i’ve ever seen and the shows that did leave or are getting ready to gave us one hell of a show. Before we get started one last bit of buisness for transparency: As I said i missed some shows and others I did watch but given despite this list’s sheer size it was still VERY tight, for the record each show got four nominees a piece, and some had even more episodes considered before widdling it down, and even at the 40 episode mark there were some tough cuts and by the end it was brutal. So here’s the show’s considered.

Shows Watched: Steven Universe Future, Infinity Train, Close Enough, She Ra, Ducktales, Amphibia, The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Rise of the TMNT, Animaniacs, Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Solar Opposites, Bojack Horseman, The Owl House, The Midnight Gospel Shows That Did Not Make the Final List: The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Animaniacs, The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, and Solar Opposites. Final note: all episode’s i’ve done reviews of at the time of this list will have links in the title to said reviews in case your curious So with that in mind , here’s my top 20 list, part 1.. becasue these posts are going to be long as hell so I needed to split up gang. On with the show after the cut as this is a really damn long one

20. Fragments (Steven Universe Future) “I bow to your strength.. my Diamond” Steven Unvierse’s final act was a masterstroke. The show ended with every major conflict resolved as the Diamonds decided , if only for Steven’s sake at first, to change their ways and helped him restore the corrupted gems, while Lars made it home. Our heroes were FINALLY, after seasons and almost two in-story years, as Steven “Finally Done, Finally Us, Finally Me”, the last part being especially pogniant since, while done thanks to a horrifying action on whites part, his breif seperation PROVED there was nothing of rose left; She’s gone. So Future uses this cleverly: With the conlfict of the movie resolved things were still very nice.. but eventually Steven started breaking down piece by piece: As the series went on it became clear what it was: A deconstuction of some of the less healthy part of the mostly fairly healthy and wonderful main show. It showed just what happen when someone whose put his identity into having some kind of destiny, someone whose felt their purpose in life is to make other people’s better and solve their problems and be a good person.. has no issues to solve. Oh sure there’s an antagonist here and there and Jasper refuses to change or admit no third great gem war is coming and that peace really has come.. but his family are finally happy with who they are, and are moving on with their lives. As someone whose had people move on without them and whose clunt to people this hits close to home.. hits close to home a lot.

So as the season went on Steven clung to everything, taking it VERY badly when Lars and Sadie not only revealed their attempt at a relationship failed after years of build up, and never told steven because they thought it wasn’t his buisness, which is true to a point as them breaking up isn’t anything to do with him but someone should’ve told him it was amicable given the amount of shit he’s seen between you two, just saying. But it still meant a good chunk of his friends leaving town, and him, behind. Attempts to fillt his gap with tv watching or gardneing, aka what the crew amazingly dubbed “Depression Hobbies:”, a term that hits close to home, failed and then a far WORSE attempt to fill the void in his life by proposing to connie failed.. she turned him down firmly, but gently recognizing this was a terrible idea, they were too young, and he was clearly going through some stuff. As garnet put it “Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece”. Another beautiful term to stick in my brain.

So as if this wasn’t bad enough his body started mutatating and it turned out the pink form he’d gained was actually supposed to just be his body’s version of adrenline, but since he’d spent years in constnat struggle, his body was treating his emotinal stress like do or die situations with predictable results. We’ll get to that more in a bit but needless to say steven’s family were concerned and Greg returned from managing Sadie to TRY and help his son.. only to drive a wedge between them as Greg’s Smothering Parents seemed like the life Steven never had, instead of obnoxious people who refused to reconcile with their son even decades later despite plenty of effort on greg’s end and Greg having to raise a child alone with only marginal support from the gems at best at first. But Greg’s tragic inablity to see his son was hurting, as with everyone elses lead to him nearly getting them hurt in a car accident and thus this episode. After getting chewed out by the gems, who tragically simply don’t realize what’s wrong with steven, can’t figure out why themselves and he refuses to tell them, Steven runs off, to the one person who would never tell the gems where he is and the last place they’d expect him to go at his lowest: Jasper. And thus we get one of the darkest and moodiest episodes of the show’s long history.

After having lost a lot of his sense of peace of mind: his best friends are gone, his girlfriend is next, his parents and sister are constantly busy, there’s no one for him to turn to. Steven NEEDS someone like him and while his family is trying they just don’t know how to reach him and deep down he dosen’t WANT them to. Like me at times, shocker I know, he fears deeply that if they knew some of the flaws about him, some of the problems he’s had, they’d hate him. When as time would bear out for both of us, as my first stint of therapy near the end of colllege proved, it just means they understand you better and can HELP YOU.

So instead he turns to Jasper, and he does so for good reason: He wants to control his power and emotions.. the problem is Jasper dosen’t WANT what Steven wants. Steven wants to feel godo again and feel healthy and be the person people want him to be. Jasper.. wants a fight. She wants a diamond, someone to serve, someone stronger than her who will LET her be what she feels she’s meant to be: a warrior, a destroyer, a breaker of worlds. So she slams that steven shaped peg into a round hole, and it’s horrifying and uncomfortable to see our hero turned from a loveable hero.. to a power obssed, almost vegeta-esque asshole .. in short she’s made him into the very thing he spent years fighting against, all because he’s so scared of himself he can’t face himself. It shows just how bad things have gotten: that steven’s hates himself SO MUCH, that he’d rather become something worse than face the truth and let his family help him. So convinced they don’t need him that he needs to be something ELSE.

And so tons of training, abuse and hard labor lead to the moment Jasper and fans had been waiting for: a rematch between the two. And.. it’s easily one of the series best fights. For a series that’s at it’s core about ending the cycle of violence and often big exchanges of words and someone emotinally healing are treated as big as victories in combat.. the show has some of the best fight scenes in cartoons period, and this being the penultimate one, we’ll get to the last one next time, it’s a brutal, dbz style slugfest, something unlike the other fights in the show, with two opponents full of rage and hate going at it with everything they have.. ending in Steven, for one breif terrifying moment having BECOME what his grandmothers and mother used to be: A sadstic monster drunk on their own power “Your right jasper, I WAS holding back”

But when we next see Steven, running into the house and ingoring his rightfully concerned family..... he’s not that guy anymore. He’s back to who he was at the start of the episode: A scared teenager who deeply hates himself and who wants to be better but is ironically shutting out the only people who can help him. And one.. whose committed murder. This was a VERY bold move to make: Steven KILLED SOMEONE. Sure it was shattering so it got past censors, but in his lowest moment.. steven did the one thing that to someone who treasures all life, is anthemia to him: he killed, did what his mother did before she changed, did what his aunts have done countless times to countless worlds. And it horrifes him, with him desperate to bring jasper back and using everything he has, his powers and his aunts essences, to try and fix his mistake. And unlike anyone else in his postion he succeeds.. and Jasper, ignoring steven’s attempts to apologize is surprised at first at being shattered, knowing what happened.. befor bowing proudly, FINALLY getting what she was REALLY after: A diamond to serve. And steven can only gaze in horror at what he’d become and at the realization he can’t go back from this and he has no idea what to do now. An utterly grippling, utterly terrifying character piece with some of Zach Callistons best character work in the show’s storied history, with Steven shifting from being drunk on his power to utterly broken at having broken jasper. One of the series finest moments.. only topped by some things the series proper did.. and some more on this list.

19. Perils of Peekablue (She Ra and the Princesses of Power)

“They are my people. Which means most of them have sworn revenge against me at some point “ She Ra was easily one of the best shows of the 2010′s. While it started out excellent, and pretty gay, it ended being a masterpiece, and fabulously gay, as is befitting something related to He Man in some way.

A masterful space opera, She Ra had some great bones in a thrilling love story, great humor, great action and wonderful characters most of them main and supporting going through some form of development. It was a wonderful, magical show and I look forward to Noelle giving Lumberjanes the series treatment, both because the series concept is frankly better built for an ongoing tv series than a monthly comic, and because after this series she has my utmost faith in whatever she does. Also her story about how she both came to terms with her sexuality and met her partner was VERY lovely. Seriously check it out. Also her partner was the one who co wrote another entry on this list, just a fun fact. Point is this show was awesome. But as I said part of the show’s strength was it’s character and that shines on this day in the limelight episode covering what’s going with the rebellion since She Ra shot off into space to rescue her best friend. We do get to see the best friends squad breifly, but their simply heading home: With Catra rescued and on the path to being a better person, and firmly in adora’s lap because again this show is wonderously gay and because it annoys her and Catra gets off on that, our heroes are wondering how everyone else is fairing. So we see that, as with the Rebellion not doing so good against Horde Prime, our heroes seek the solution to their problems with the same solution homer simpson always uses:

Well okay less starting a new life and more getting the help of the mysterious prince peekablue, who I now realize is where the whole pikablue name for merril probbaly came from.. or maybe nerds making things up in the 90′s werne’t that creative. You decide!

So we get the ragtag team of Mermista, Seahawk, Scorpia and Perfuma, as the quartet try to bluff their way to the prince for help. Naturally we get Seahawk being seahawk, i.e. an awesome ham with a voice way older than he looks, Mermista being annoyed by that and being forced to admit she tried out pyromania to see what it’s like, which naturally is the most romantic thing Seahawk’s heard in his whole life.. as well as some VERY charming ship tease between Scorpia and Perfuma as Scorpia enrouages her the two bond and Scorpia finally likes someone who both likes her back and isn’t so obssed with her sorta ex and tied up in her own issues a relationship is impossible. Look I was suprised she found someone else as everyone here, but i’m happys for her. She’s the nicest person on this show and is now dating the second nicest person on this show. It’s nice okay. 2020 didn’t give me much nice, it gave me the emotoinal equilvent of being constnatly stung by hornets.

We also get a lovely musical number from Scorpia about being a spy.. and the revelation Peekablue.. is just Double Trouble. THEIR BACK BABY. It was nice for them to make a comeback for one last apperance and they do provid vallid information.. but prove to not be too useful despite this both due to their habit of being only out for themselves, hence setting up an elaborate cabaret act under the ocean.. and because Mermista got chipped by the crowd, so now our heroes are stuck in a giant coffin surronded by the thing she can manipulate. It’s only through a harrowing sacrifice by scorpia that Perfuma and Seahawk escape but with their sorta partners now brainwahsed to the other side. To amp up the tension back home.. things are even worse as Spinerlla, whose been brainwashed for several episodes and seriously worrying her wife Netossa... has made her move and with the rest of the rebellion’s leadership gone, chipped everyone but Frosta and King Micah, who dosen’t last long, meaning not only do our two remaning heroes BARELY escape, but the horde now has, between both plot lines, four really heavy hitters, as later episodes would bear out that Spinerlla is basically the red tornado when it comes to wind powers. Point is perils is a fun, breather episode... that then turns into a still fun but also heartbreaking episode as our heroes loose and loose bad and their only hope is in our ohter heroes making it back to htem in one piece.

18. 100% No Stress Day (Close Enough) “Long story short I owe them three grand” Close Enough.. has not had the easiest existence. It was greenlit in 2017, used it’s pitch reel as the trailer meaning everyone thought it was MUCH farther along, was meant for TBS but got shelved because the show it was to be paired with, The Cops, was created by sexual predator Louis CK. And since he came up and h’es primarily responsible for this show getting shelved for so long... Louis CK is a bastard. He harassed women, literally and metaphorically waved his dick around to show his superiority, knew he could get away with it, and ACTED contrite when caught and rightfuly punished for it by loosing everything.. then has spent the last year or so TRYING to mount a come back, with the help of Dave Chapelle who I lost ALLLLL respect for in recent years, despite not having apologized or done anything that resembles him having actually learned his fucking lesson or tells me that, could he get away with it, he wouldn’t just do it again. I’m taking time out of this unrelated thing ot make sure he does not get ANY power back, as too often preadatory or abusive assholes get away with this and get right back to doing stuff, like say Doug Walker, who I only bring up to remind people he’s a bad person who enabled worst people and abused a lot of innocent critics, and let htem lovingly euologize a man he knew was a preadator in life without telling any of them about said behavior, which he coudl’ve done without outing the victim to the world against her wishes. Because as another episode we’ll get to next time briliantly put it

But now i’m done reminding people of assholes, I can get back to what’s really important: The fact this show is a goddamn miracle. Not only is it as good as I hoped, which let’s face it in this year it was just as likely the show would be the video equilvent of scabies, but it got RENEWED. Turns out it’s being delayed.. was a blessing in disguise as it sidestepped being part of a failed animation block, and instead go to be the first adult animated show on HBO Max with tons of promotion. And judging by the future lineup of adult animated programming.. it’s probably going to be the ONLY good one for a while as other offering includes the prince, about life with the royal family, and a show about a 12 year old whose constantlly going thorugh trauma because they apparently did not get the irony when watching moral orel and also skipped the entire third season. And possibly got some brain damage I dunno. Hopefully will lead to much better shows down the line and actually gets a second chance at life, and even if it clocks in at only two seasons, it’s still a damn miracle and I will acknolwedge it.

So yeah as I said the show is fantastic and was one of my faviorites this year. The show treads some familiar terroitory as it does use the formula from Quintel’s “Regular Show”: Normal problems that spiral into bizzare chaos that still has it’s own effed up internal logic. The thing that honestly makes it BETTER in my opinon, is the passage of time. Quintel is no longer the brighted eyed fresh out of college and menial job guy he was: he’s married with a kid, and that fully informed this project, as instead of being about doofing around in your 20′s, it’s about the pressures of hitting your 30′s: from aging to keeping your relationship fresh to all the perils that come with parenting, to missed opportunities you deeply regret. There’s a lot of good stuff they dig into here, but it never overdies the comedy, simply ads a bit of depth to it. And regular show wasn’t LACKING that by any means, i’m not bashing the show.. i’m just saying Close Enough is starting at the level Regular Show was at at it’s best.. and could easily and handily suprasss it with time it now has.

And I was first given a good and proper introduction via this episode, as it leaked beforehand due to a french animation festival and I couldn’t help reviewing it, as i’d waited quite some time. But honestly while I like the first episode in the all in the show proper, quilty pleasures.. I feel this is a WAY better first episode and shoudl’ve been swapped with Quilty, as it introduces things even better and lets the whole cast shine, and thus is one of two close enough episodes on this list. The episode starts with Emily, the stable but stressed and anxious half our our main couple at the doctors office where we get a great barrage of jokes off the bat, from the laundry setting a blaze leading to one of the series best lines

Naturally this has lead to her body constnatly sleep fighting .. while she’s awake, so Josh, her husband and loveable doofus, offers to take care of errands so she dosen’t implode from the stress. This also displays one of the series best assets: While Josh and Emily are an optimistic and impulsive idiot and a stressed out, often voice of reason.. they actually LOVE each other. It’s like a far more healthy of early seasons homer and marge, where BOTH get in over their head but both clearly love and respect each other, and while Josh CAN be irresponsible.. he still holds down a decent job (Though Emily is more of the breadwinner and her job provides the insurance), is attentive to their daughter candace, and WANTS to be repsonsible. Trust me after countless dom coms where i’ve had to restrain from yelling “GET A DIVORCE” at the screen, it’s nice the tide is turning and Bob’s Burgers has become more of the norm couple wise than the exception. But yeah so the main group splits up: Josh takes candace and his best friend and local weirdo played by Jason Mantzokus every series needs, and easily my favoirite character, Alex to do errands while Bridgette, Alex’s ex husband, Emily’s best friend and both the bbay of the bunch and the most irresponsible one.. gets her high to help her relax.

Both plots are really great: The boys and candace run into a ham shortage, a joke that actually plays better in the pandemic age, and stripper clowns because in the series best gag so far, Alex explains via flashback he bet them they couldn’t make a dog, and one did so.. using his dick.

Just in case you were wondering if JG was enjoying the fact he could use adult humor now, though another part of the series charm is while it freely makes more adult jokes, it dosen’t ever get into gross or dudebro territory. It just means the censors are down and they don’t have to hide beer as soda anymore. They also have to tangle with some hamburgalers who are reselling the meat at rock bottom prices and creating the shortage.. and who deny being hamburgalers despite their tactics being backing up into houses with a large van and stealing hams. OUr heros avoid becmonig meat and naturally end up both in a car chase and then a bet for their lives in a game of Ladder World, josh’s latest game. Meanwhile Emily blazes it and we get a great getting high montage, as it shows BRidgette’s idea does genuinely help a bit.. until they run into Timothy, the teacher at cadance’s school who I hope gets an increased roll as he’s always a delight and this is his best apperance. Depsite the understandable awkwarndess and paranoia of running into your kids teacher while high, being an open minded guy Timothy offers them wine and then weed and even takes Emily punching him when her trip takes a bad turn, giving her a stern but fair “bitch use your words!” before the next seen has him helping her through her issues with some solid advice, allowing her to arrive in home just in time to save her husband and the cave goblin who lives in her house from clown strippers and meat gangsters.. which sounds like one hell of a gay porno. All in all a solid, always hilarous, always charming ep that shows the series off at it’s best.

17. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)

“No, no.. Christmas is a SAD story?”

This is my third and hopefully FINAL time talking about this one, though given it has a high chance of showing up on the series best of list, probably not. Not that I mind, this is a VERY good episode, I just don’t have anytihing new left to say. It’s a heartwarming, fresh, engaging christmas special that uses the characters perfectly and for once actually strips down the cast effectively instead of making you wonder where everyone else is, while still giving everyone an apperance. It also has Webby giving Lena (And Violet) an adorable cheek smooch when delivering her parents and I will never not find that fucking precious. Plus it’s gay as hell with plenty of gay subtext between Scrooge and Santa, a sentence I never thought i’d say but i’m so glad i’ts my job to get to type things like that, and said kiss so that helps. But even besides that it’s just REALLY damn good. Again i’m leaving this short both because i’ve talked about this twice now, once when it came out as I do regularly for ducktales and again for my best christmas specials list, but it’s really that good and made it damn high on my bet christmas specials list and is only so low here.. because despite being a terrible year in every other respect we got some REALLY good episodes this year. So yeah this one’s a classic, I love it but i’m tired of talking about it till at least next december. Moving on.

16. Finale (E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shreddy or Not, Anatawa Hitorijanai, and Rise) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Oh and Blue your leader now” As I mentioned in the intro. Rise of the TMNT was unjustly canceled this year and even worse got it’s season order chopped in half and was given just weeks to throw together a finale. So it’s remakrable that not only was the season pretty damn good, having the series usual problems of sometimes overdipping into the boys stupidity hence the episode where everyone but Raph keeps eating poison, but also had both great character arcs in Baron Draxum’s reformation and Splinter getting more and more fleshed out and more screne time, and great laughs. Seriously Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle, aka that episode where our heroes end up trapped in an 80′s dress up montage, BARELY didn’t make the list.

And as a longtime fan of the franchise I couldn’t be happier this fresh take, which I was aprhensive about at first because it looked like yet another dumbed down teen titans go ripoff, and given it was dumb to begin with... but instead was a fun action comedy with a lot of really unique and intresting ideas. And despite the rush to finish.. they delivered one hell of a finale and on the high chance season 3 dosen’t happen... it’s a hell of a note to go out on. First things first: yes i’m counting multi parters as one episode. Not more seralized shows like SU Future or Infinity Train, where events can flow in and out, but stories that are clearly one big story, in pieces like the old days. Since hour long episodes of shows are fair game, I felt it only fair that multi parters around the same length as an hourlong special be given the same treatment. Not that any hourlongs made it this year, sorry fans of Obsidian and “Let’s Get Dangerous”, though both are throughly EXCELLENT episodes this was just a tight list.

Okay good. So yeah the finale, split over four episodes, is an epic: taking plot threads from all season and series and weaving them into a well paced, emotoinal, finale. Like previous more serious episode the comedy’s downplayed.. but it doesen’t feel like an entirley diffrent show and works well, and the always great fluid animation was kicked up to 11 for this one. So to make a long story short: in this series shredder is a demonic set of armor, but came back wrong at the end of last season when the food clan revivied him, so while the clan now has him back, they can’t really use him. And current head Foot Recurit, a spunky foot recruit whose failed to rank up despite being tough and ambitious and worthy of it, is at a loss how to reviive her master. The turltes, naturally, end up accidently blundering into the solution as they head into Splinter’s head to find the info to beat Shredder. The show gives splinter easily one of , if not the best, backstories he’s ever had: While at the start the character was highly annoying, being a lazy asshole who didn’t train the boys and did nothing.. the show eventually give us valid reasons WHY he’s like this: he didn’t like being turned into a rat by big bad of season 1 Baron Draxum and thus has depresion over that, had quit fighting since he’d been forced to be a cage fighter by his ex for a while, his ex being a giant spider just in case you thought this would be remotely normal an forgot what show we were talking about and genrally just had no horse in the tight training he usually does in most continuties.

This episode adds another, heartbreaking lair: We find out back when he was Hamato Yoshi, Splinter’s mom left to ward off shredder when he was a boy.. and thus never came back and presumibly died. Understandably he had no time for the clan at that point, constantly defying his grandfather.. and why should he have time for them? They took his mom away for a thankless duty sacrificing herself to stop something he had no way of knowing was real, another reason he never trained the boys. And his grandfather rather than be AT all apologetic clearly, via his actions, thought of this as some great honor and was baffled why Yoshi would have no intrest in repeating his mother’s actions or have any sense of honor, duty or even love for a man who as far as he could tell, threw his mom to the wolves and had no regrets about it. So we see Yoshi as both a rebellious teen and as a movie star throwing out his grandpa.. we see those in reverse of course, but the later scenes give context to those showing why Yoshi was so rude.. because he lost his mom and it still hurts him. HOwever helping her frees the shredder.. but also Karai who bizarely, in this continuity is not only an aincent ancestor of theres but a firm ally instead of either a deadly enemy or a fremeny of sorts. Or Splinter’s dang daughter, one of 2012′s best plot elements.. that was then wasted by turning her into a snek for a while because that show really went off the rails. So it quickly turns from a heartwarming and awkard family reunion.. to our heroes and karai barely escaping with their lives as shredder demolishes the lair, and Draxum, now a good guy after a season’s worth of wonderful chracter development, and Splinter stay behind, with Draxum cleverly bluffing and pretending ot be evil again.. only to try and take out shredder.

Meanwhile we get this series take on “the turtles going to teh woods to retreat” as Raph beats himself up for being a bad leader and our heroes learn to tap into their hamato nimpo.. which basically means super magic ninja powers which allows them to bring back their classic weapons and enhances their magic, as it was never in teh weapons but in them all along. Also April gets Karai in her, phrasing, and a glowing boost to her bat. The result.. is one of the best fights of both the year and the franchise PERIOD, which is what got me to catch up to see the finale because I saw a fan video synching it up to “Spin and Burst”.. and while not a naruto fan.. that song is fucking awesome and that video showed off an utterly marvelous fight. See for yourself

youtube

Seriously I wasn’t kidding. I’ve been a fan of this franchise since 2003. This is one of the best sequences in it’s history with or without the added soundtrack: The fighting is fast, frentic, beautfully animated and cool to watch and perfectly combines the series humor, with our heroes giving out quips and callbacks at the right times, with it’s fast paced and wonderous action. It also shows how far our heroes have come: while PART of it is them having super mystic powers unlocked.. they both had to work to reach those powers, and spirtually rather than phsycially,in the third part, but each power is merly an upgraded versoin of their old weapon powers, ablities they’ve spent the entire series mastering, paticuarlly leo who went from BARELY being able to work his portals to using teleport spam here. While they did pull a power BOOST out of their ass, it would’ve meant nothing had they not been anymore skileld than when they started and it makes the fight feel rewarding and impactful. And it ends with the hamot clan as a whole, with new ally foot recurit aka cassandra jones ina great last minute reveal that they CLEARLY didn’t have time to build up better, and smoke that bitch. Also Leo’s leader now bye. It’s just a damn good finale and I dind’t even get into all the great character stuff, including the great payoff of Casey’s face turn after seeing just how much of a monster the man she always wanted to serve is, and how he’s hurting Splinter, who ACTUALLY cares about her well being despite being an enemy. It’s just good stuff that fits the franchise like a glove but iwth the series own unique stamp on it. Nuff said.

15. Toadcatcher (Amphibia) “Your not upset because you lost the fight, your upset because you lost your friend! Your upset that Anne stood up to you and things between you will never be the same again.” Amphibia was one of the first shows I covered reguarlly and along with Ducktales one of the most popular.. so yeah it’s weird it not only is low on the list, but this is the only represtintive. But this was a high volume year for quality and while the show had other standout episodes like gravity falls tribute “Wax Museum”, Marcy’s introduction “Marcy at the Gates” and noir patische “Little Frogtown”, as this list already shows it was a really tight race. It dosen’t help that while Season 2 isn’t terrible.. it’s a bit more uneven, and unlike season 1 it’s weaker stretches of episodes weren’t as easily covered, as instead of airing every weekday, it was a weekly release. Which I prefer, as it means they aren’t being dumped out en masse and are given room to breathe and the passage of time feels more warranted when it’s spread out over a few months intead of a few weeks. It just meant the weaker episodes stood out more and drained on me more.. but it also meant the stronger ones were all the more a breath of fresh air. And nowhere was this more apparent as teh worst episode of the season, and series, thus far, Quarallers Pass.. was paired with Toadcatcher, an utterly marvelous episode and followup to ironically the series best so far, Reunion.

This episode catches us up with Sasha, Anne’s former best friend who tried to kill her in a sword fight, one where the entirety of wartwood including her adopted grandpa was at sake and Sasha knew this and did not care. She then followed it up by letting go when Anne was depseratley holding on, with the help of her new family, to save Sashsa’s life.. and Sasha let go. I discussed the full implications in the review so I will avoid trigggering anyone, and I mean tha tin the medical sense anyone using it ironiclaly or to mock people using it as it’s intended can get fucked, but she clearly didn’t intend to make it, but Grime saved her and spirted her off. So we catch up with both licking their wounds from the ordeal: Sasha has decided to take the Jasper route of horrible coping mechanisms and is training constnatly, readily kiling dolls of the plantars but still unable to truly hurt Anne, burying her feelings over her guilt and her best friend rightfully turning on her and then trying to save her anyway despite Sasha trying to gut her. Grime.. is binging on the wonderfully terrible teen soap Supscion Island, coming back this january on the cw, that was intorduced last season and generally not carring the king has his best men, women and nonbinary folks out for his head.

So both issues come to a head as General Yuaan, scourge of the Sand Wars, defeater of Ragnar the Wretched, and the youngest newt to ever achieve the rank of general in the great Newtopian Army, and she’ll never miss a chance to say that, has come for Grime whose in no condition and has no will to fight back. He also finally confronts Sasha when she snaps at him for it, pointing out she’s simply burying the fact that she lost Anne, things won’t be the same, and she won’t deal with it. The episode adds real depth to grime, going from an intresting but semeingly just evil overlord.. to someone who worked his way out of a fighting pit to be given a thankfless if cushy job by the same people who threw him in in the first place, someone who to my shock at the time.. CARES about his protege. While allowing Sasha in was simply to their mutual advantage at first.. he’s grown to genuinely care about her as his friend and offers to let Yuaan have him so she can be free. but Sasha refuses. Despite her issues.. she CARES about the old toad and together, and using Yaan’s ham against her, they beat her, and decide to rebuild their army... after Grime finishes his soaps of course. Can.. relate. A thorughly good, throughly emotinally episode that dosen’t lack the series humor but does have a depth and rhthym to it that the series has at i’ts best.

14. Quack Pack! (Ducktales) Jesus I was so tired when making this I nearly forgot an entry. And shame on me as this was one of the best episodes of an already amazing Season. Season 3 is easily ducktales best and i’ve been proud to cover it. It’s been my most popular feature and while not every episodes been GREAT, only one’s really not been very good, and none have been out and out bad. While it may be the end of the shows run and not without problems, they still have trouble ballancing the adults at times if not nearly as bad as before, to the point Launchpad just sorta vanishes after Let’s Get Dangerous outside of the Christmas Specail that takes place before the season anyway, and Louie is often written VERY badly.. but i’ve talked about these things all season in my reviews.

Point is those faults are overwhelmed by the strengths; The character ballance is better, several side characters have gotten tons of payoff to their arcs and more development, and the main plot is easily the best in the series history: By having essentially one main plot with two focuses, before they merge at the halfway marker, it allows the season to be far more streamlined after the really messy way season 2′s plots were handled. It just shows the show at it’s best and has produced amazing episode after amazing episode and it was really hard to widdle it down to the ones that got selected here and even then one got left out.

But one boost I haven’t mentioned is their wilingness to take risk. While past seasons had flashback episodes and what not this one, in hindsight, has some of the more risky episodes of the series, ones you really COULDN’T do in seasons 1 and 2: a whole episode flashback to the twins, basically taking our present day kids out for the whole season, an hour long special focusing on what, to fans not familiar with darkwing duck, is simply a very engaging side character and his new sidekick.. and launchpad (The ducks aren’t OUT of the special, but they aren’t the focus and aren’t around for most of the climax). An episode with really dark emotional moments.. which isn’t unsuaul for a disney show, see next time, but for one so close to their chest it was a lot. They were settled in enough to take plenty of risks and it’s paid off. It’s not to community levels of experimentation, but it’s still nice, intresting breaks from the usual adventures.

And one of the best and boldest of these was Quack Pack. Taking our heroes and plopping them into a TGIF sitcom. Of which this plot not only happened TWICE this year, three times if you count the entirety of beef house, which I do so let’s call it three, but both cartoon examples are on this list. But both tackle it in diffrent and intresting ways so both got on here. IN this case.. during a stock plot about a family photo, complete with Donald having his Don Cheadle voice back, we get some great parodies of convetions of les.s. good sitcomes nad even some of the greats: there’s the constnat catcphrases (ranging from a sticomy version of Della’s “On the moon”, to Beakly’s “I’m not a spy.. which sh’es understandably inscnesed to find out is her catchphrase) ,and even the wacky neighbor with our lord and savior Goofy showing up in the roll, as a nice nod to the more sitcom side of the Disney Afternoon. We just get a lot of good gags.. until Huey becomes aware, starting to realize things are off, with his guidebook being empty and things just not adding up. We even get a great bit of him being forced to do a disney channel/that 70′s show dance transtion only to react with exesntial horror. Naturally, given their lives,a genie did it, Gene, played by Jaleel White in a pefect bit of casting. Having been imprisoned in his lamp since the 90′s. Gene’s a bit behind on how sticoms work, but was just granting a wish, Donald’s wish, which the family figures out by trigggiring a flashback, Goofy VERY MUCH included. where we find out it was, unsuprisngly Donald’s fault.. though in his defense, and in the best line of the episode, when confronted about wishing for a normal life “I wish for that 30 times a day. How was I supposed to know a lamp was under me this time?”

And we find out why and it’s heartbreaking: Donald just wants a normal family, where everyone’s safe and, most tellningly “No one gets lost.”. It’s the climax of a series long HATRED of going on these adventures. For everyone else it’s fun, thriling, good stuff.. to him.. it’s not only a reminder of what cost him 10 years with his sister and his adopted sons their mom for that time, but a reminder of a lot of pain and humilation. To him he just wants the normal life he used to have back, despite that not being an option and his kids to be safe and his sister not to leave again. Granted his refusal to undo the wish is selfish.. but i’ts understandable. And while the rest of them try to break the wish, and end up fighting the horrifying audience it’s GOOFY who gets donald to see all families are diffrent and that there is no normal: just what you make and enjoy. It makes donald realize that as hectic as his life is.. it’s his life, his family.. and maybe. it’s not so bad. After years of denying how much he used to love adventuering.. he realizes part of him stilld oes and no amount of turning against it will fix what he lost... he just has to enjoy NOW. It’s good solid character development for my favioriote member of the cast, and overall a fun, genre spoofing episode that pokes fun at the genre but reallyg ets how it works.

13. Growing Pains (Steven Universe Future)

“ What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?! “ So yeah big recap of steven’s emotional well being to get into future earlier, but rewinding a bit, this one takes place with our hero at a low point. Not “oh god I comitted murder what am I now oh god” low as we got to earlier and the series itself wold get to later, these lists make time warped and space bendeble, but still pretty damn bad. As mentioned before Steven tried proposing to connie, not helped by Ruby and Sapphire both being fully on board, as both are hopeless romantics seprate but when combined as a Garnet their shared braincell can get working properly and has settings other than “emotoinal pain, peppy (ruby), a bit distant but kind (Sapphire) and horny”. While it was as beautiful a propsal as you’d expect from Steven.. Connie gently rejected it since you know, he also wanted to be permafused and their not even legal marrying age left. He’s 17.. despite what this episode claims. She’s 15 or 16. They aren’t ready and she knew it not even ruling it out entirely, just saying “not now”. But as this episode bears out.. Steven really isn’t an emotinal state where he could properly process that way and after shooing her away, even though she WANTED to talk it over and genuiely make sure he was okay as she damn well knew this wasn’t easy on him, but also knew it’d probably be bad to press him while he was clearly in pain. So like everyone else she made the mistake of leaving. So Steven’s binging on junk food, and bemoaning the fact that even dogcopter is getting married.. also Dogcopter is gay. Given the show he’s a fictional character in, you THINK i’d of been less suprised but you’d be wrong. Point is steven isn’t dealing well and is going pink and with the gems gone for the weekend, and Greg unavaliable due to being busy as a manager, Steven is getting worse and his body is starting to warp. Thanfkully connie comes to check up on him and insits he see a doctor.. and since her mother’s a doctor and thankfully had a cancelation. Unthankfully it turns out, to Prianka’s understandable frustration.. Steven’s never been to a doctor. Which does make sense, Greg taking him in might’ve alreted authorties to his lack of schooling or his injuries from age 13 onward, plus he had no idea of knowing how his body would react to tests. That being said given by this point in the series Gems are well accepted and known around town and everyone loves and adores steven, Greg had no real excuse by this age especially after the second gem war. And that’s proven by the fact it turns out steven’s body has tons of internal scars which, due to him turning out to have a wolverine style healing factor, mean h’es alive and without brain damage, but still has plenty of internal scars. It’s a godo metaphor for his mental trauma: he came out of his various happenings ALIVE.. but not mentally okay and with PLENTY of ptsd. When Prianka asks him to list his traumas.. he dosen’t even get past season 1 before she’s understandably horrified, though she’s figured out exactly what’s causing his pink mode: as mentioned before his contstant life of danger and having the threat of a fight at any moment over his head for 2 solid years, maybe 3 given the third light game shows he still had a lot of work to do before the movie and future, and honestly still does at times during both, mean his flight or fight response has been shot so the adrenline charged pink form, meant to protect him from danger.. is triggering for EMOTIONAL pain and suffering.

Steven dosen’t take it well and keeps enlarging when pressed.. and accidently spills the beans about the proposal... and understandably, even if she was FULLY in the right can’t be around Connie: while she had every right to reject him, it dosen’t mean it hurts any less. Sometimes even when you do the absolute right thing.. it can still hurt to be on the receiving end of that. But Connie is still Connie, aka the most emotinally stable and mature person in the main cast very much including the sentient space rocks who are centuries older than her, so she called Greg who naturally dropped everything because his son needed him. It shows the genuine conflict, one, again that I’ve grappled with: Steven is so obssed with not boterhing those he loves, he fails to see they’ll help him when he needs it without a second thought. So Greg thankfully calms him down and taks over the failed proposal with no judgement or anything just support. Sadly things go downhill from here but it’s a good episode that turns the entire series on it’s head with some damn good character work.

12. Annhilation of Joy (The Midnight Gospel)

“Again? How Many times is this guy gonna die?” “Until he learns” The Midnight Gospel was a plesant suprise. Penndelton Ward’s return to animation after leaving Adventure Time, the show is a collberation between him and podcaster Duncan Trussel. It was a suprise both in how quickly it came together, and in how it’s real nature wasn’t properly expressed in the trailers: while the series does tell us the trippy adventures of Clancy, a 40 something “Spacecaster” who uses an illegal simulator to visit worlds to interview various people.. said interviews are expercts from Trusseul’s own podcast, the Duncan Trussel Family Hour, something this series has badly made me want to listen to. As such while dealing with zombie apocalypses, a quest to avenge a dead lover, being processed as meat and meeting death herself while looking for his hose, Clancy interviews his subjects, including Death herself, and talks on various subjects related to medation and spirutality, throughly fascenating interviews greatly woven into trippy visuals. Hopefully the show will be back for round 2 at some point as both Ward and Trussel are game, but for now the first season stands on it’s own as a throughly trippy, throughly wonderful blend of Trussel’s words and insight and Ward’s boundless imagination. And the best of these, narrowly beating out the final epsiode which uses an interview with Truseel’s late mother to inform clancy’s own actions, as Clancy’s Mom is dying from cancer same as Trussels tragically did. But I like this one slightly better due to it’s great blend of the subject with the plot. Once again Clancy is ignoring his pain, and his sister’s calls, by diving into the space vagina of his simulator, taking a weird form, and easily my faviorite of his shapeshifted forms of the season: a living rainbow that wouldn’t be out of palce in a pbs kids show, complete with the fact he makes musuical chimes when touched not unlike a children’s toy and has chosen this form to enter the simulator’s jail. It’s there he gets engagled, literally, with Bob and Jason. Bob is an angry, upset prisoner who chewed his own tounge out years ago, and Jason is his soul bird, a represntation of his pain bound to him by blue rope that Clancy got tangled in. So Clancy is taken along for the ride with them as every time Bob dies, the celestial beings in charge of the prison put him through weird emtional torment, pluck out his heard and weigh it against a feather plucked from jason.

Thus while Clancy and Jason have a spirited conversation about Buddishm and about not treaing spirutality like a game with levels and having to earn progress but as an emotinal journey, Bob goes through a buddishm inspried journey of his own, mixed with a bit of edge of tommorow. He dies, gets tourtured then resets.. but slowly learns to empathize, to let go of his anger and violence and help those around him. It’s an utterly mesmering journey to watch this angry green big headed man go from a violet convict who will gladly shoot and stab.. to a pacfisit eager to help those around him. And it’s thorughly convincing and backed wonderfully by the interview and easily a sign of what this weird and unconveintonal series can do at all cyllnders. Seriously Netflix you’ve been on a loosing streak decisionmaking wise. Make. More. Of. This.

11. Save the Cat (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) "C'mon Catra. You're not done. Not yet..."

God that image is unsettling. Anywho back to She-Ra, and somehow this is the second time i’ve had to rewind the progress of a season by about an episoide. Weird. Point is saved the cat is one of the most tightly packed and thrilling episodes of the series.. and the crux of Catra’s character arc. Before this Catra had hit her lowest point, having lost ..j well everything. She pushed everyone from adora, to the nonambigiously a couple trio, to her own best friends away through her shitty behavior and inferoirty complex and somenoe she THOUGHT was her friend.. turned on her for money. Oh and as an added stomp on the tail all that betryal, all the blood spilled in her name.. was for nothing. Horde Prime made her irrelvant: she couldnt’ manipualte him because a combination of a god complex and an army of loyal drones meant he had nothing to hide and eyes everywhere. She had nothing. Eveyrthing she did every sacrifice she made every worse and worse turn she made a s a person... amounted to NOTHING. So it was at this point she and glimmer, despite you know killing Glimmer’s mother, were forced to work together.. and Catra sacrificed herself both to get Glimmer safe and because for once.. she wanted to do something right. Her self loathing, some of it warranted, a lot of it already there from an abusive childhood, left her with one option: sacrifice herself and HOPE, something good can come of it, Apologize to Adora, hte one person she ever loved and hope she can at least surivive this. Naturally, Adora having seen her friend/love of her life has not only REALIZED what she become, but sacrifice herself.. isn’t having this, and after an episode of repairs both on the ship and emotinally, our heroes are naturally, despite any personal hangups with her ready to save Catra. Naturally this hits snags. On Bow and Entrapta’s end, they accidently free a horde clone she mistakes for hordak and, having no other real option and with the guy being useful, Wrong Hordak is born! I love me some Wrong Hordak. What a guy, makes you cry, und I did.

The main issue though is Adora let herslef be captured.. only to find Horde Prime is a sadstic bastard and has not only chipped Catra, but is using her newfound peace of mind to play with adora’s head, using Catra’s heartbreak from the past to manipulate Adora in the present.. and force them to fight because hey he’s a sadistic jackass with a god complex. They make their own fun. But Adora gets through to her .. only for Prime to decide fuck it and try killing her with Adora BARELY saving her with her power, and Catra, as she fades, wondering why Adora even bothered. And the why is simple.. as a wise fictional version of a wise president once said “Dying is easy young man, living is harder”. Not the last time that quote will be relevant in this top 20 list, but the point, and it was delebrate on Noelle Stevenon’s part, was to subvert this kind of thing> The bad guy gets redemption but then dies seconds later. Instead.. Catra has to LIVE with what she did and make up for it, become a better person and work for redepmtion, instead of just getting to end in some big blaze of glory. But at the same time.. it’s the better route. The harder one sure.. but she gets to have a life and to undo the damage and maybe for once.. actually live instead of just trying to surivive. IT was the right call in a series full of them.

But yeah the day is saved, our heroes have two new roomates and Catra weakly greats Adora.. but with genuine warmth for the first time in .. years I guess? I don’t know this series time span. Point is the healing and the ship tease for our finale can begin and this episode is a tense, well put together masterwork. The pacing really is what put it up this far, as it really ratchets up the tension, and being the last season, meant there was no guarantee anyone, including catra, was going to make it. Excellent stuff all around.

So that’s where we leave off for now. i’ll be PUTTING PART 2 HERE WITH A LINK. once i’ts finished For now watch this space and..

#best of 2020 #2020 #best of list #Steven Universe #Steven Universe Future #She Ra and the Princesses of Power #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #ducktales #amphibia #the midnight gospel

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smallcollegebasketball · 4 years ago

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The Greatest of College Basketball Games

What makes a game “great”?

A well-executed game? A great finish? Great players and coaches? Great, exciting plays? The stakes? Conference or National Tournament game? A National Championship game? I think that, for a game to be truly “great”, then answer may be that it has a little bit - or a lot - of each of the above mentioned traits.

When I think of “great” games at the small college levels - at least over the last couple of decades - I think of the incredible four overtime thriller between Concordia (CA) and Robert Morris (IL) in the 2007 NAIA National Semi-Finals. (Here’s a video clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJDaw2yYgw8). I think of the remarkable comeback win for Barton, over Winona State, in the 2007 NCAA Division II National Championship game in 2007. (Here’s a video clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WzmQmz9Kdc). I also think of Findlay’s 2009 overtime thriller in the National Championship game to cap an undefeated season. (Here’s a recap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iibhTY_txV4). I think about Texas Wesleyan’s last-second 3-pointer to win the 2006 NAIA National Championship over Oklahoma City. I think of the incredibly suspenseful ending in the 2010 NAIA National Championship game, as Oklahoma Baptist just barely edged Azusa Pacific. I think of Graceland - in their first and only time reaching the NAIA Tournament - hit a 3-pointer at the buzzer to win the 2018 NAIA National Championship. (Here’s a link to watch the final seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6c5MUprymE). How about the 2014 Wisconsin-Whitewater vs. Williams NCAA Division III National Championship game?!!! (Here’s the video clip of the finish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6arGWYIxpQ). How about “The Block” from Joey Flannery to seal Babson’s 2017 NCAA Division III National Championship game?!!! (Here’s the video clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF8vlz52pKI).

Certainly, I’m missing many over the last couple of decades, but the games I listed above.....well, I’d consider them to be “great” games. Fantastic finishes with terrific players with something significant on the line.

I bring up this topic because I’ve seen some truly “great” games over the past week. Primarily, I’m referring to two games, yet my mind goes back about three weeks to a third great game.....

Starting a few weeks ago, the MIAA (NCAA Division II) Championship game between Washburn and NW MO State was truly a great college basketball game. Washburn and NW MO State had split during the regular season, with both games going into overtime. NW MO State has been - and is - the gold standard of NCAA Division II basketball over the last decade. Washburn is so well coached and so tough, and so good.....and they’ve had the Bearcats’ number this year. In this MIAA Championship game, which was played at Bearcat Arena, the game was tight throughout the evening. With 37 seconds remaining, Ryan Hawkins hit a free throw to tie the game at 66. Washburn took possession, and let the clock wind down, and they put the ball in the hands of Tyler Geiman, who has been spectacular all season long. (Geiman was named First Team All MIAA and was named to the Third Team All American by the D2 CCA). With 9 seconds remaining, Geiman launched a 3-pointer. Trevor Hudgins got a piece of the ball, and Diego Bernard picked it up and started to streak down the court, with second remaining and a tie game. At about mid-court, Geiman was called for a foul. Two shots with 2.7 seconds remaining. Bernard hit both of them. 68-66 for the MIAA Championship.....but then Washburn threw the inbounds pass to Tyler Geiman, who took two dribbles and fired up the desperation shot. When he launched it, he was been his own 3-point line and the half court line. It was later estimated to be a 57-foot shot. As the buzzer sounded, the ball was in flight....and yes, the ball dropped into the net! 69-68, Washburn, for the MIAA Championship. What a finish! What a game!

(As a note, Washburn handily won their first-round game in the NCAA Tournament and met up with NW MO State about a week later....and NW MO State put on one of the most remarkable performances - on both ends of the court - that I’ve seen in quite a while. For example, with 11:11 left in the game, the Bearcats led 72-19....that is not a misprint: The Bearcats were leading by 53 points over a very good, well coached NCAA Tournament team. The final was 85-44 - a 41-point win, as benches were cleared early in that one.)

...............

The other “great” game I’ve seen recently was the Central Region Championship game between NW MO State and Northern State. Northern State has been fantastic this season, and they had just won the NSIC for the fourth consecutive season. They came into the game with a 19-1 record. Parker Fox, a 6′8″ junior, is an incredibly explosive highlight reel. He plays so hard and is ridiculously athletic. He as the NSIC Player of the Year and was named First Team All American by multiple publications. In this game, which was played at Wachs Arena in Aberdeen, was played with great emotion, with a trip to the Elite Eight on the line. The game was played between two of the very best teams in the country, with several of the very best players in the country (legitimately, there were three players on the court that would be in the discussion for the National Player of the Year: Fox, Trevor Hudgins and Ryan Hawkins), and the full teams were just THAT good.

Fast forward. Parker Fox was fantastic for a high percentage of the game, finishing with 34 points and 12 rebounds, and going 14-18 from the field. He showed why he was in the discussion for National Player of the Year. With 3:04 left in the game, Fox went up for a layup and was fouled by Wes Dreamer. He made the shot and converted the free throw to put the Wolves up by 11, 76-65.

Then Trevor Hudgins and Ryan Hawkins made key plays down the stretch....and really, Trevor Hudgins just completely took over the game, eventually completing the remarkable comeback by hitting a step-back 3 with 7 seconds remaining to send the game into overtime. Early in OT, Northern State took a 2-point lead...and then NW MO State took over for the last few minutes and came away with a 91-86 win.

I felt privileged to witness this one..... two of the very best teams in the country just played their hearts out. You felt an exhilaration just watching this one. I think that everyone - players, coaches, fans, etc. - realized that they were a part of something special that night.

Below are photos of Trevor Hudgins, Ryan Hawkins and Parker Fox (yet note from the game referenced). Further below, I write about the final “great” game that I just witnessed last night.

Last night, in the NCAA Division II Semi-Finals, I witnessed another “great” game. This one was between Lincoln Memorial and West Texas A&M. There are so many sub-plots here. Tom Brown has built a powerhouse - and one of the truly elite programs in NCAA Division II - at West Texas A&M. The Buffs just won a record 4th straight Lone Star Conference Tournament Championship. They came into last night’s game with an 18-2 record, and were 32-1 last season (when the tournament was cancelled). They have been incredible dominant. Josh Schertz has built a powerhouse - and one of the truly elite programs in NCAA Division II - at Lincoln Memorial. The Railsplitters came into the game with a 19-3 record, and were 32-1 last season (before the tournament was cancelled). They have had an absolutely dominating decade, as Josh Schertz has the second highest winning percentage in the history of college basketball - at any level - for a coach that has been a Head Coach for at least 10 years.

This Elite Eight was set to be the final NCAA Division II Elite Eight for Josh Schertz, as he was just named the Head Coach at Indiana State.....with the caveat that he would still be allowed to coach his Lincoln Memorial Team in the Elite Eight.

The other interesting piece of information is that I had scheduled West Texas A&M vs. Lincoln Memorial for the opening of the 2019-20 season, in the Small College Basketball National Hall of Fame Classic, in St. Joe, MO, at the Civic Arena. So, on the opening day of the 2019-20 season, in an event that is exempted by the D2 Conference Commissioners Association (thank you, again, to the D2 CCA), the Buffs and Railsplitters, took to the court. It was a spectacular game between two immensely talented teams that are so, so well coached. As expected, it was a heck of a game. With 34 seconds remaining, Qua Grant hit a layup to tie the game at 83. LMU took possession and let the clock wind down....and then Vas McCauley nailed a 3-pointer with 5 seconds remaining to put the Railsplitters up, 86-83.....and then Qua Grant came back down and hit a 3-pointer with 1 second remaining to send the game into overtime. In OT, the Buffs outscored LMU 13-3 for a 99-89 win. The next day, Lincoln Memorial set the SCB HOF Classic record with a 50-point win over Davenport, and the Railsplitters didn’t lose another game for the rest of the season, finishing 32-1.

Fast forward to last night. A trip to the NCAA Division II National Championship was on the line. Coach Josh Schertz is coaching in his final Elite Eight before departing for Indiana State. The Railsplitters came out strong, and led by 9 at the halftime break, 44-35. In the second half, the Railsplitters hit the first bucket of the half to go up by 11. The Buffs then began to slowly chip away at the lead, yet the Railsplitters held the lead throughout the half....until the Buffs eventually caught them to tie the game at 79, with 3.43 remaining. From there, the Railsplitters rallied to take the lead, eventually going up by 5, 85-80, with 52 second remaining. Then, leading by 2 (86-84) with seconds remaining, the Buffs had the ball. Joel Murray drove the lane, put up a shot....which was promptly blocked by Cam Henry. The officials went to the replay to confirm that the ball was, indeed, sent out of bounds by Henry.....and to check the clock. They determined that the ball went out of bounds off of Henry, yet they added .9 seconds (9/10 of a second) back onto the clock. The ball was inbounded to Qua Grant, and the West Texas A&M players gave him space to operate. Grant drove from the right wing with his left hand, into the paint. He went up for the floater with about 3 seconds remaining. The ball bounced around the rim, and was batted around by multiple players, vying for the rebound. It was eventually tipped out to sophomore sharpshooter Zach Toussaint. Toussaint, who is typically a fantastic 3-point shooter, was 0-4 from the 3-point line and had been held scoreless up until this point. Toussaint grabbed the ball and quickly let it fly from about 23 feet. He released it will about .9 (9/10 of a second) left. As the ball was in flight, the backboard lit up and the buzzer sounded. As the ball dropped through the net to secure the 87-86 win for the Buffs, there was pandemonium and heartbreak all at the same time.

It was an instant classic. It was a “great” game.

#Lincoln Memorial #NW MO State #Northern State #West Texas A&M #Washburn

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bearterritory · 5 years ago

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Modster, Defense Lift Bears Over Cougars

Quarterback Throws Three TD, Runs For Another In Win

BERKELEY - The Golden Bears finally got that elusive fifth win.

After starting the season 4-0, beating ranked teams on the road and finally being ranked as high as #15 themselves, things came crashing back down to Earth when starting QB Chase Garbers - the only quarterback the Bears had known for the previous 15 games - went down with an injury. Suddenly Cal’s dominant defense did not have the offensive component to accompany it.

The Bears had other injuries, particularly to their experienced offensive line. They also lost their backup QB, Devon Modster, for a time and had to start a true freshman (shades of a year ago). And while they played surprisingly well - almost beating the Ducks in Eugene and some other frustratingly close contests - they still lost their next four games. Evan Weaver preferred the experience Saturday much more than in previous weeks. Weaver led another impressive performance against Washington State's vaunted offense, and Modster returned from his injury with four touchdowns as the Cal football team upended the Cougars 33-20 at California Memorial Stadium. "It feels pretty good to sit up here not all cranky and angry," said Weaver, who had 10 tackles for his 15th double-digit total in the past 16 games. "It's a pretty good time to be on the winning side. It's awesome to get a win." Saturday's victory snapped the bitter losing streak for the Bears (5-4, 2-4 Pac-12) and moved them within one win of qualifying for a bowl game for the second consecutive season.

Modster threw three touchdown passes and ran for another as Cal scored the most points in a game this season. His 13-yard scoring run with 2:26 to play put the Bears up 33-14. He had already thrown a 9-yard scoring pass to tight end Gavin Reinwald, a 13-yard touchdown toss to running back Christopher Brown Jr. and a spectacular 52-yard catch-and-run to wide receiver Makai Polk for another score. Modster finished 16-for-24 for 230 yards and no interceptions for a passer rating of 188.4. "I'd say average," Modster said when asked to assess his performance. "I missed a couple of throws that I should have made. But I think it was a great team win. The offensive line played fantastic and the receivers made plays." Cal's return to the win column coincided with a healthier roster. Center Michael Saffell was back on the field after missing the previous two games because of injury as was wide receiver Kekoa Crawford. And Modster, who was injured against Oregon State and didn't play in the Bears' previous game at Utah, looked sharp in his comeback. "I love the fact that (Modster) thinks that way," Cal coach Justin Wilcox said. "He's a competitive guy. I think probably he's thinking about a few plays where we had some home runs that we didn't quite connect on and one that we dropped. But I'm proud of how he handled it and competed. He practiced with a chip on his shoulder last week and this week, and it showed up."

In three games against the Cougars since Wilcox became Cal's head coach, the Bears have held the Cougars to an average of 14 points per game. And that number became inflated when Washington State scored an insignificant touchdown with five seconds remaining. Still, Cal still held the Cougars well under their scoring average of 41.8 points per game, continuing a trend of holding WSU well below their season average. In the previous two games before Saturday, Cal held the Cougars to an average of 11 points per game – 24.8 points per game less than their average against all other teams during the same period.

Weaver led the defensive effort and moved into ninth place on Cal's single-season tackles list with 137 (he already is tied for second on the all-time list with 159 last season). Safety Jaylinn Hawkins recorded an interception and forced fumble and nickelback Josh Drayden had a career night six solo tackles. "(WSU's offense) correlates with our defense very well," Weaver said. "We had dudes who can cover and a D-line that can rush. To have guys like that all over the field is perfect." The Bears' defense limited Washington State to 423 total yards, 81 of which came on their final drive when Cal enjoyed a significant lead, and only 16 rushing yards. The Cougars entered the game ranked sixth in total offense at 521.9 yards per game. "We came into the game hungry," Polk said. "We're trying to get to a bowl game. We knew if we won this one, we'd be one win away from a bowl game. That was our motivation going into the game."

#Cal #Go Bears #UC Berkeley #Bear Territory #Cal Football #Evan Weaver #Devon Modster #Cal Bears #Gavin Reinwald #Jaylinn Hawkins #Golden Bears #Christopher Brown Jr #Josh Drayden #Cal Berkeley #Justin Wilcox #Chase Garbers #Makai Polk #Kekoa Crawford #Michael Saffell

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morosemariposa · 5 years ago

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2019 Skate Canada International

The Grand Prix Series continues this week with event two Skate Canada. This year located at Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. Luckily for me I was able to watch all of the competition live. Hurray! I enjoy watching skating live. Watching live is the best because your in the moment and want everyone to perform the best they can do.

LADIES’ SP This was a fun well skated segment. Some skaters didn’t do well but the ones that did really shined. The free skate is going to be a battle for the podium. Any one of the top three could win and anyone of them could also fall off the podium. The top three were especially spectacular and deserving of their placements.

Young You - When will Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet make a comeback? Besides the music choice she did all her elements well, but all the choreographic movements could belong to any piece of music.

Marin Honda - That popped 3F into a 2F took all the charm away from the performance. It’s too bad because she has the ability but she’s been having jump problems for a while and I hope she can deliver a clean short sometime this season.

Gabrielle Daleman - It’s always nice when a skater is proud of their skate. I like this for her and hopefully that momentum continues in the free skate.

Alexandra Trusova - It was a good clean short for Alexandra. She did all the elements well and the music is dramatic and fun just like her.

Evgenia Medvedeva - It wasn’t a good short. The things she did do didn’t go over well and the mistakes made the performance nonexistent.

Rika Kihira - Despite the nature of this program I do like that Rika is performing it to it’s fullest at this point in the season. This is only the second time she’s skated this in competition and both times she nailed it. This program brings out more of what Rika is capable of in terms of performance and she still has a ways to go. Congrats on a deserved 1st place in the short program.

LADIES’ FP Nobody had a clean free skate. The top three deserved their medals but they didn’t have clean skates. What the three of them did have were the best two skated programs across the competition. They each had clean short programs and each had only one significant flaw in the free program. Congratulations to the medalists! To the skaters that still have a second event in the Grand Prix Series, I hope they put out better performances. A lot of free programs here weren’t to my taste but there were at least two programs that I liked.

Marin Honda - She was focusing on the jumps that much was clear and it was a good idea for that to be the focus. This early in the season it’s a good strategy for Marin to focus a little more on the jumps especially because she has a trouble being consistent in jumps. The second jump in all the combos were doubles and they need to be triples but this was a good effort. She performed the choreographic elements well and got a good score. It’s great that she’s happy with her score she needs this confidence boost.

Gabrielle Daleman - Right from the beginning the jumps were erratic and uncontrolled. The fall in the middle of the StSq was unexpected and quite the surprise but the performance quality wasn’t there and her focus became the jumps which is understandable. Hopefully some time this season she’ll be able to perform clean across both programs.

Evgenia Medvedeva - She did everything she set out to do and did it well. There are parts that are rushed and unpolished but in general personally the program isn’t one I’ll ever like as a whole.

Young You - There is no performance quality, just various arm movements. The music doesn’t do her any favors and she would be much better off doing a program to classical piano pieces. Despite that congrats to her on her bronze medal.

Alexandra Trusova - Three quads and two of them in combination, of course she was going to win with a skate of that level. The TES was 100.20, that’s more than some of the men! Her skating is still at that unpolished and rushing through the elements stage but that will come with age and experience. Congratulations on a commanding victory!

Rika Kihira - Rika had the best two performances across this competition. In this free program she performed every element well except for the opening 3A and she performed the program consistently throughout. A great skate and a well earned silver medal.

MEN’S SP This men’s short program was boring and a chore to watch. A lot of messy skates and a lot of programs that I personally don’t like. Special shout out to Deniss and his cute smile at the end of his program.

Keiji Tanaka - This is the first time I’ve seen Keiji perform his short and I think it’s okay. The jumps weren’t what they were supposed to be. Some pops here and there and the spins were alright and the step sequence could’ve gone better. I’m not a fan of the music and this kind of music really needs to be performed over the top. The shirt is ugly. Point blank. I guess it’s suppose to be.

Yuzuru Hanyu - It was beautiful, fantastic, and there’s nothing else to say. The 4T in the combination and the StSq could’ve gone smother but who cares. Deservedly in 1st after the short.

Matteo Rizzo - The 4T could’ve gone better and the 3Lz+Combo just sucks. He could do better than this and we know it but the ice is unpredictable.

Deniss Vasiljevs - I really love this program. Deniss performs it to it’s full potential every time. I don’t care about the jumps. He is a skater who gives 100% to the performance. I just love him, he’s so cute!

MEN’S FP The first half was just as boring as the entire short program but then group two came and gave life to a dismal event. Those last four skates were great and fun to watch. Shout out to Nam Nguyen for that amazing free skate and an even better standing ovation from the audience. Totally deserved silver medal. All three of the medalist were great and they really made the competition.

Matteo Rizzo - This style of music is great for Matteo. It’ll stretch his capability and performance quality in the long run and eventually if the program were to be performed clean then it’ll be an entertaining routine to watch. His major issue right now is getting consistency in his jumps.

Deniss Vasiljevs - Those few pops really hurt his technical score but the his PCS were great. It’s insightful hearing him critique his own performance in the Kiss & Cry. His assesment is valid and Stephane’s input is as well. Deniss really needs to be consistent in his jumps and be able to flow through the program seamlessly. This needs to be done without concern whether he should focus more on the technical elements or the performance elements.

Keiji Tanaka - I was so happy that he tackled that 1T on the 4S. Better a 1T than a +REP. That 4S was really close to the boards and I can see why maybe he was nervous and the landing turned out a bit iffy. He popped two other jumps as well but there were no major mistakes and I’m starting to really like this program. It’s fun and it’s on brand for Keiji. I like that he’s chosen to skate more for himself from now on with more consistency than before. YAY KEIJI, BRONZE MEDAL!!!

Yuzuru Hanyu - That was amazing. One could be nitpick and say that the opening 4L and the 3A2T in the second half could’ve been smother for an even more perfect score but again who cares. He was amazing and got a gigantic score. The undisputed champion. Congratulations on 1st place!!

Ice Dance The free dance was so much fun to watch. The Lilah Fear/Lewis Gibson free dance to Madonna’s Vogue and Like a Prayer was great. I loved watching every minute of it, their so charismatic and crowd pleasing. So happy for them and their bronze medal. The Piper Gilles/Paul Poirier Kiss & Cry reaction to their first place score was the best moment on the competition. I was so happy for them. I really wanted Kaitlin Hawayek/Jean-Luc Baker to medal, they’re my favorite American ice dance team and their so much fun when they skate. I know they were disappointing in their overall score and I don’t blame them. It’s really hard to take when you miss the podium by less that a point. Their qualification chances to the Grand Prix Final are small but they still the opportunity as long as they compete just like they did here.

This was such a great competition. So much fun to watch. It had great skates from amazing skaters and amazing skates from surprising skaters. This competition really makes qualifying for the Grand Prix Final that much more interesting. Can’t wait for next week.

#figure skating #2019 Skate Canada International #2019/2020 figure skating season #ISU Grand Prix Series

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piquira · 6 years ago

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“Anfield was a nightmare that’s going to stay with us...”

Gerard Pique interview with EL Pais, talks about CDR final this Saturday against Valencia, his feelings after Champions League exit, Valverde, new signings, his future, etc.

Question: Do you agree with the general idea that this has been your best year as a professional yet or do you think people undervalue other seasons?

R: It’s difficult to value [our performance] because people tend to stay with what’s most recent. I agree its been a good season in which I have played almost all of the games, and feeling physically very good because I haven’t been with the NT. I haven’t had any injuries and I have felt very good and haven’t played a single game feeling pain, which has happened in other seasons. But I do want to give value to other seasons that were phenomenal as well. In other years where we were able to win the treble, for example, we all reached a level that was close to perfection both at an individual level and at a collective level.

Q: Have you notice there being a difference since you stopped playing with the NT?

R: [In total] They’re 4 weeks that help you disconnect and help you catch your breath. Participating in the NT is a huge commitment that never ends. It takes a lot from you at a mental and physical level.

Q: There was criticism against you for playing for the NT, now there is criticism for you not playing. Do you understand it?

R: I understand it all, it’s part of the game. It’s impossible to have everybody happy, and in this country everybody has their opinion. But that’s why I have to do what’s right for me and the team that pays me. It was just that ideal moment for me [to retire].

Q: Are you a better player now than in your 20′s?

R: Different. As the years pass, age holds an important role in my game, despite going to the nutritionist, working out at the gym, and other positive stuff that could potentially help my body. But I do think that I have improved in many things because experience helps make better decision. And that in my position is vital. A while ago, I understood that I needed to be less physical and instead be more intelligent, concentrated, and improve my positioning. Being a centerback requires us to use our head, especially at Barca where we know there is always going to be risks and a lot of meters to cover. If you’re head functions perfectly, you don’t need your body as much. We have to learn how to take care of ourselves so that age isn’t a huge inconvenience.

Q: Does being a veteran player increase the responsibility of what happens in the teams defense?

R: Yes. It’s inevitable. I feel and hurt with every goal we concede because 90% of those goals are errors. And even if i’m not directly involved, i’m the one that has been here the longest and I might have been able to avoid it with better indications. Of course I’m very aware of that.

Q: Should Valverde continue next season?

R: It’s not my job [to decide] because Valverde is my boss and he’s the one that decides if I play or not. It’s irrelevant what I believe. But what I can say is that his gestation of the squad has been excellent these two years. He’s helped us improve in a tactical level and helped us win multiple trophies as well, which we hope to extend with the Copa final. Of course we can always play better. Always! And we know how much Anfield hurt, but I think we’d always be content with winning the league and CDR.

Q: The public argues that the style of play is boring and one dimensional...

R: That goes with out way of living football. Cules and Catalanes are very demanding and we like to look for perfection. It’s not about just winning anymore, but about the way we win. To top it all, Guardiola’s era is very recent which was when we play our best in and where people most like to watch us play. That debate will always remain regardless of who the coach is. But I can assure you that it’s the same style that Valverde wants to play. I’m part of the dressing room and can assure you that’s what he transmits. But it’s not something that depends solely on him, it depends on those who are playing and the rivals we’re facing... now we get pressured very high and it becomes almost impossible to play out of the box, when before it used to be very simple to be able to use our goalie. That’s why sometimes its better to play out with a long pass. Regardless, there are many factors [that can influence] but people tend to focus on the coach or on a certain player when in reality in a team sport there are many variables, many of which are intangible.

Q: Did it help you guys that Madrid wasn’t much competition in the league?

R: WHen one of the two isn’t performing at the level expected, it always helps the other team. We have been very regular and solid with out results. I imagine that Cristiano Ronaldo leaving has influenced somehow because football can be seen in different forms and one of them is through statistics. You have to have a player that can score goals every year, which they lost when he left.

Q: Is that a warning [for Barca] for when Messi leaves?

R: For that we don’t need any warnings. When Leo leaves we’ll suffer for sure. But the extent and time for which we do, will depend on how the club decides to adapt to his farewell.

Q: Do you think substituting you will be complicated?

R: Not much. We’re all here temporarily and that’s something you learn with time. It could take months or maybe even a couple of season but in the long run we’re all going to be replaced. The day will come when another player will be better because football is always evolving. Now it is more spectacular, more technical, and physical. I always say that the best defenders in history are the ones playing now because they are much more complete than those of the past. Adding context, its possible that Beckenbauer was the best, but if you compare him with a modern defender, he probably wasn’t better with the ball, maybe he was slower, could have read the game less... Before, for example, they used to be far more lenient with fouls, you had to practically kill a player to be sent off. Now we’re much more exposed in that sense. It’s the evolution of the sport, and that’s that.

Q: Can Barca evolve with De Jong and possibly De Ligt as new players on the squad? Does it worry you to have another centerback on the team?

R: They’re players that understand out football because we’ve sipped from the same fountain, which is Cruyff’s. And if I were worried about the defenders that the team has added since my arrival, I would have not been able to sleep in years! It’s been one of the positions in which the team has mostly added recently. I think it’s very logical and I like the competition. I don’t know what’s going to happen but De Ligt has a lot of qualities, especially with his age. And De Jong has a lot of potential and future. He’s an exciting prospect because of his style of play.

Q: Will there be another documentary about Griezmann’s decision?

R: No, I won’t do it. Once was enough. It’s been a while since I last talked to him but we’ll see what happens. I don’t know much more.

Q: After losing in the first leg in both Levante & Sevilla, and with many substitutes in the team, it seemed as if not a lot of value was given to winning the CDR this season, is that true?

R: Those games were in January where there were many games in dispute. People might sense that there’s an ideal starting XI but I think the coach has regulated the squad perfectly. We had some losses and we were able to comeback because we are stronger at Camp Nou. But let it be known that we don’t like to throw away any competition. Passing to the final was very celebrated among us, and when we get to a final we intend to win it. We are a team that likes to win. We’re the team that has won the Copa the most and that shows how much we value it.

Q: What has been the discourse that has most been repeated in the dressing room to be ready for the final after the fall in Anfield?

R: That we have to end the season well so we can end on a good note. Although Valencia is very dangerous team and they’ve gained momentum in the last run of the league. They also did a fine job in the European League up until the semi finals. They are a tough rival.

Q: And what happened at Anfield?

R: When something like that happens, it’s just that everything or almost everything goes wrong. I think that our mentality was affected by what happened last year in Roma because it’s still fairly recent. With the first goal being scored, which happened very early on, unconsciously the images of Roma were there. Then the next two goals happened quickly as well, and that just seemed all to much like what happened last year. Surely it was a mental block, but also we lacked football. We lacked a lot of things. And they pressured high with a lot of intensity, Anfield also played a role there... we just weren’t capable. Something it happens. It was a tough day. It has cost us a lot to pick ourselves up from this because even as the days past you can’t get over the loss. It’s a loss that we’re going to remember for a long time. But we still have to move forward.

Q: We also didn’t see the team motivated, or moved by the goals that were conceded.

R: It was a difficult situation. You see the team that isn’t working, while they’re pushing forward all while last year’s loss is still so recent. But we can’t torture ourselves either. It’s true it’s one of our worse defeats but that’s how sports work. It was a nightmare and we have to take responsibility for that otherwise it’ll happen again. We also have to understand why it happened so that it can help us improve because we want to lift the Champions league again!

Q: Do you still see yourself as Barca’s president in the future?

R: For a while I was very excited about the prospect, and I don’t shut the door to the idea, but I don’t see it happening in the near future. I have so many other things happening in my life right now, that I want to concentrate on those things first.

#sorry for any errors I kind of rushed it #debated about translating it cause there's a press conference tomorrow but thought the interview was worth it for any Barca fans #gerard pique #fc barcelona #interview

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andrewuttaro · 5 years ago

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New Look Sabres: GM 5 - FLA - Weird Win

The Florida Panthers thought they would be the Carolina Hurricanes by this point: the hot, young club meteorically rising to the top of their division. The Hurricanes seemed like they were a goaltender away for half a decade and patched that up enough last year to make the Eastern Conference Final. They’ve added a lot from coaching to forwards and they’ve only built the beast bigger this season. Florida similarly has pulled all the stops to turn their corner. With two playoff appearances since 2000 that organization has been long hungering for something compelling on the banks of the Everglades. When it comes to Panthers v Sabres there’s little to no history to speak of. None of the Buffalo News’ top 50 Sabres games of all time involve the Florida Panthers. Most Sabres fans of my generation associate them with the Eichel Draft occurring in their arena, the Mark Pysyk trade and… well that’s about it. Neither of those moments are games. To my parents’ generation I suppose the Panthers represent a fun Sabres away game side trip while visiting their retired parents in South Florida. I solicited Sabres twitter for Greatest Game Against the Panthers for Buffalo. Understandably you guys had just as much trouble as me finding anything notable about the 100 matchups these two teams have had over the years. Somehow I ended up getting four games notable enough for them to memorable to some people. Don’t worry, there are three other games against Florida this season. The other three games will get in here as well. The Greatest Game Against for today’s matchup however was submitted by @t31mcgraw. It’s the January 19th, 2001 matchup that saw aging Dominik Hasek defeat young gun Roberto Luongo in a matchup for the ages. It was 0-0 until the last ten seconds of regulation when Sabres forward Denis Hamel blocked a shot and returned it to the Panthers zone to win it. That’s a throwback right there. Now let’s talk about tonight’s game.

This game could have been as contentious as the Habs game Wednesday night. If it was then both teams had a weird way of showing it. This one was a weird one from the start as the first 30 minutes of this game was more or less two drunk men just throwing haymakers at each other in the words of @d4rkbuffalo. Confession: I missed those first thirty minutes due to a work event. I turned this game on confused. 0-0 halfway through the game? Beyond 5 on 5 expected goals most every advanced stats category was dead even through that first period. The Sabres were getting outshot but looking back on this game you really don’t notice it until the overtime period, but we’ll get there. I’m tempted to say the gangbusters powerplay Buffalo has had through the first four games finally hit a wall and that’s why it was so dull but there was only one powerplay opportunity in the first. All five of the other powerplays between both teams were inconsequential. The powerplay didn’t click but it was symptomatic of these two teams just whacking each other will limp pool noodles. Breaking through in this game would take someone or some players making mistakes. And so this one became a game of mistakes. You know who cleans up a game of mistakes? The goalies. Linus Ullmark versus Sergei Bobrovsky is not a matchup you’re expecting to be a spectacular duel, at least not from the Ullmark side. I’m the biggest Linus Ullmark fan not married to him in North America. Even I will say I don’t expect him to win a pure goalie duel against Sergei Bobrovsky but once again: this was a weird game all the way around.

A Sabres powerplay had just ended when Kyle Okposo and Johan Larsson came streaming into the Panthers’ zone in the last minute of the second period. This line has transcended being just a cliché checking line. These three veterans, all dudes we were begging to see shipped out over the summer have had a great start to the season. They’ve played a stout game defensively, frustrating their matchups and even getting the puck entrenched in the offensive zone against better competition. Call it the roaring twenties line or call it the LOG, its making hay out of dirt whatever you call it. Kyle Okposo covered by two defenders gets the puck over to Johan Larsson who shoots over the outstretched Bobrovsky and gets the Sabres out to a 1-0 lead. He falls over Bob like Bobby Orr. Okay. Sure! That’s a lead. I’ll take it no matter which guy wearing a bison on their jersey does it. That goal-less dynamo line finally gets rewarded! Moreover Marco Scandella saved a puck from the goal line in heroic fashion. It was certainly a weird one. Through that second intermission your thinking: okay, scoring effects alone have to even the score in this game, the most weirdly even-uneven game we’ve seen in a while. Then two minutes into the third period the LOG gets right back to work as Zemgus Girgensons skates in, drops it to Kyle Okposo, who drops it to Marco Scandella… yikes not him… *eyes widen* …did he just… score!? Yes, believe it or not, Marco Scandella just tapped it in past Bob like he was an Allstar or something. Did someone drug me at my work party? What is this? This can’t be Sabres hockey, even the new version doesn’t feature Scandella dingers. What’s going on? They reminded us who we were watching, don’t worry.

The Florida Panthers got a new coach over the offseason in addition to the Sergei Bobrovsky. The one and only Joel Quenneville. Three-time Cup winner with the dynastic Chicago Blackhawks. I don’t need to tell you who he is. Evidently the rough start for the Cats got him upset. He was bag-skating dudes in practice this week. Do you think the likes of Mike Hoffman and Aaron Ekblad are taking well to that? You think Eichel is tired of losing? Imagine being Ekblad and not even living in a place that knows you exist! They were not going to lay down and die after a couple scrubs scored on them. This Ullmark fan is going to be honest here: Linus was a little far out of the crease when Evgeni Dadonov came in and snuck it around him. They call him daddy in Miami. He sparked the Panthers comeback and comeback they did. The Cats got up and began shelling for the equalizer. And this is when the first and foremost flaw in Ralph Krueger’s coaching becomes clear. He moved Jimmy Vesey up to Victor Olofsson’s spot next to Jack Eichel and gee, I don’t know. I want Greasy Vesey to get going I just don’t know how to trigger him. Maybe when you’re clinging to a one goal lead late in the third against a divisional opponent isn’t the time. Just a thought. Krueger is still figuring out who to trust in these tight situations and hopefully he soon figures out the Scandella-Ristolainen pairing probably ain’t it. Hell, what do I know after this game? At this rate Scandella scores a hatty against Dallas on Monday, what a weird world! Anyway, after the shelling reached it’s fever pitch in the dying minutes of the regulation Mike Hoffman sunk a tight 4-hole shot and it was even with less than 15 seconds left! Yeah, that was a hair-puller. But it got worse.

I was certain, almost beyond convincing that they were going to lose the game in overtime. It doesn’t take a savant to tell you possession is everything in 3 on 3 overtime. It’s golden goal and its over so the dude who has the puck is making his team multiple times more likely to win the game just by having the puck! The Sabres had maybe a minute of possession the whole five-minute overtime. It’s a low-grade miracle the Panthers didn’t take two points in OT. They didn’t and so we went to the first shootout of the season. This is where the goalies matter most. Linus Ullmark was 2-2 in shootouts coming into this but well over .800 in shots taken on him in those shootouts. He’s a good goalie and the shootout is damn good evidence. No Panther got a puck past him and Jack Eichel and Casey Mittelstadt both had their fancy finishes. The Buffalo Sabres took away the two points and the 3-2 win from this one and successfully completed a two-game overpowering of two big Atlantic Division wildcard opponents. I’ll say this: letting each of these games go past regulation, giving both of Montreal and Florida a point in the standings is not ideal. There is a lot more hockey left, 77 games in this regular season in fact, so let’s see where it goes. I think it’s a safe bet that come next month we’re not talking about the Quenneville Panthers getting bag-skated in practice. They’ll turn it on and so will the Canadiens. The question remains: will the Sabres be a good team in November, December, January, February, March and yes, April? Or do we have another team here that will burn bright early and fade? I don’t know but I really hope we have fun, meaningful hockey in the spring. We’ll have to see, it’s not even winter yet, eh.

You might be reading this on Saturday. If you are tonight is the night! If you’re not… well tomorrow is the day! Tomorrow is the Third Annual Buffalo Pod-a-Thon downtown at Buffalo Riverworks! Doors open at 5:30 and most of the proceeds go to BB&G Charities. That’s $25 at the door and you get dinner with that, so I think it’s a good deal. Once you’re in you get me and about two dozen other Western New York Sports personalities to enjoy. I’ll be the one wearing a Rochester Americans Linus Ullmark jersey. I’m awfully proud I get to wear it the day after a performance like that! I know it will be fun and even if you’re not my biggest fan you’ll find something there you’re into. There’s even going to be a game show I hear! I hope you’ll come on down and come back here Monday night after the Dallas Stars come to town to take on the… wait for it… the 4-0-1 Buffalo Sabres! They haven’t started this well since the Ryan Miller era! Like, comment and share this blog with a friend. Hopefully I see you tomorrow!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. I want to join the pile-on Alex Nylander. He got a few games on the Toews and Kane line in Chicago and now he’s scratched. That sounds like the guy I remember! I still cannot believe we got Henri Jokiharju for that guy!

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #nhl

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thequeenofcronuts · 6 years ago

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Justify My Love - Chapter 3 - Visions

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Book: The Royal Romance Word Count: 2,190 Pairing: Maxwell x MC (Kristina Hampshire) Chapter Characters: Maxwell x Drake ( Friendship )

Warnings - Language

A/N In this TRR au Series: Kristina (MC) decides she cannot stay in Cordonia after the events of the Coronation Ball. Not so much caring about her own reputation, but caring for the life of the man she has been falling for, which is not the prince. She returns to New York and is faced with her heartbreak and regret while Maxwell is left in Cordonia struggling to understand the truth behind his feelings. Will they let each other go?

**All characters and named places are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Rights to the songs, and their titles, used for inspiration in this series belong to:

Justify My Love (Madonna) - Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reach Music Publishing, BMG Rights Management

Visions (Maroon 5) - Universal Music Publishing Group

——————————

Maxwell’s POV

“So Hana is already on a flight to LA? And Bastien has already gotten our travel arranged? And we have an actual address for Tariq to go to? And…all this…is set, right?” The truck is silent for a moment as Drake takes a deep breath while his knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. “Yes, yes, and yes Maxwell. For the hundredth time yes. So stop asking.” “Well, Savannah is the one who literally pushed me into your truck. I have nothing to occupy myself with until we can buy what we need since I wasn't allowed to pack or even have the chance to say I was going with you.” Maxwell huffs all in one breath. “And let the record show that I didn't want to go on this ridiculous trip. On top of that now you’ve forced me into an anxiety riddled wreck.”

“Maxwell, we all know you better than you know yourself right now. So just go with it.” “Why Drake, this is pointless. So, if we find Tariq, and somehow talk him into making a statement to clear Kristina’s name what is th-“ “Dammit Maxwell,” Drake cuts him off, “quit saying the same shit you’ve been saying over and over since she lef….went back to New York. Why can't anyone convince you that the worst case scenario is we clear Hampshire’s name so the tabloids and garbage nobles can't continue to gossip about her.” They’ll find someone else in less than five minutes to start on. “This ‘all or nothing’ idea you’re hung up on is not the only answer. We all get it, you want her name cleared so she’ll come back to you.” Maxwell's mouth is agape as he stares daggers into Drake. “Why…what…no it's not like that.” “For fuck sakes Maxwell, why can everyone see this but you. No, don't answer that, I don't have the patience this second. I’ll get you to grasp this when we get settled on the plane, but right now, mercifully, we’re here at the airport so get out of my damn truck.”

After easily checking in for their flight, they head to the gate and wait. Drake lets out a sigh and says out loud to no one in particular, “Thank gods Bastien has the magic of making travel happen fast.” I have to keep my emotions in check, or Maxwell will shut down again. Sinking back into his chair, he watches from about five yards away the younger Beaumont sit, then stand, then pace, then sit, then stand, then pace until they are called to board the plane. While taking their oh so close to each other seats, Drake admits to himself that any hopes of escaping this conversation are now squashed, making him huff out suppressed air.

As the plane takes off Drake turns to Maxwell and states flatly, “Lets chat.” “Drake, you don't chat, ever.” “That is a true and fair statement. So instead what I am going to do is ask you questions and you give me answers. And be warned, I WILL keep you focused and on track. I’m not wasting time on this when I could be sleeping.” Maxwell hears the crescendo of frustration, impatience, and a little anger peppered in, as his unlikely traveling companion speaks. Drake’s tone makes Maxwell involuntarily lean away wide eyed until the plane’s window stops allowing him to go back any further. “Um Drake, you look pretty upset and kinda scary right now.”

“Just follow the rules and it will be fine. I ask questions, you answer honestly, and we stay on track. Also remember you are the worst lier. You got all that?” “Do I have a choice? Because I’m not feeling like there a choice since I’m in the window seat, and you're blocking aisle. Plus, even though the seats are tight I’m pretty sure you could still find a creative way to punch me.” “Yep, you’ve got no choice. So now we're on the same page. Ok first question. How much time did you and Hampshire spend together during the Social Season?” Maxwell kinda wiggles in his seat and sheepishly answers, “Um, a lot? Not specific, I know, so please don't hit me!” “Not going to, that's a fair answer. I wasn't expecting a down to the second count.” “Whew, because that would really be impossible to figure since you have to subtract hours of sleep, and activities with the other su….” “Maxwell FOCUS.” “Uh, yeah. Sorry.”

Drake looks past Maxwell for a few seconds out the window and then turns back. “I just need a simple yes or no for this one, so try for me. Was a good portion of that time with Hampshire spent shopping for cloths, dancing and whatever else it is that makes you, uh…Maxwell?” Maxwell squints as he thinks, “Yes, but don't forget the spectacular screwup I am too.” Drake shuts his eyes and massages his temples. “Ok, not a simple yes or no answer like I asked for, and lets forget your ‘screw up’ thought for now and stick to one ‘Maxwell’ issue at a time. So even though the time was supposed be done in the name of House Beaumont’s suitor, you and Kristina enjoyed a lot of time that technically wasn't necessary, and maybe without one-hundred percent consideration of Bertrand’s scheming to push her to ‘win’ the prince?” More like a blasted reality TV competition. “Yeah, I guess. We had so much fun though! This one time when we were at…” Drake glares. “Uhhh, focusing. Absolutely focused.” Maxwell sits on his hands.

“What was the best part of the Social Season for you?” Drake sees the look in Maxwell's eyes change from apprehension to tenderness, while he answers softly. “Well, honestly, waking my little blossom up in the mornings. She is completely adorable when all sleepy and so funny with a foggy head. It was always a fun time to pick on her with her slowed down witty comebacks. And just to start the day with her. Mornings were the best, usually just the two of us before breakfast each day.” Maxwell’s mouth begins to form a huge grin as he gazes off into space. Drake just shakes his head trying to hide the smirk on his face. “What Drake? I answered your question with an honest answer.” “Oh, I know you did. But, do you know you just really smiled for the first time since the night of the Coronation?” Maxwell was at a loss for words for a minute. “No, I’ve smiled since then.” “Not ones like this Maxwell.” Maxwell just looks down at his hands and doesn't say anything.

“That's what I thought.” Drake shifts in his seat. “Damn these commercial planes are uncomfortable. Ok, next question.” “Really, more Drake?” “Yes. If you can't hold a conversation without going around in the same circles, and you keep running away from any of us when we breach the subject of Hampshire, I’m going to keep this simple and direct.” Trust me, without whiskey this is killing me. Hell, even with whisky this would still be a form of torture. “I don't see why we are bothering at all with this, Drake. She, she left her best friend…er…friends.” Drake pinches the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and ring finger finally snapping. “We are continuing because we don't know any concrete reasons for her decisions. Only you seem to think you know for certain, and you're so, ugh, fucking frustrating right now. I mean to me you always are, but this is so madding. Furthermore, we are continuing because Hampshire is one of all of our best friends, and…awe hell…she broke through and turned you all into really good friends of mine too. Now back to the part where I ask questions.” Maxwell is wearing small crooked grin. “Why are you smiling at me?” “Because Drake, you just said I’m one of your good friends.” “Ugh, don't let it go to your head. Getting back on track now. Recently when you’ve been doing all this shit for Bertrand, and the estate, what are you trying to ignore? And don't deflect the question or say you're not ignoring something.” Maxwell shrugs. “It's because Bertrand expects my help. That's all.” Drake rolls his eyes. “Remember the part where I said you are a shitty lier?” He arches an eyebrow at him, while Maxwell turns to look out the window.

“Ok, lets try another route here. When you wake up what is the first thing you think of everyday?” Maxwell slowly turns from the window and quietly answers, “Kristina.” “And who does your mind wander to throughout the day?” Maxwell avoids Drake’s stare and sighs. “Kristina.” “Who have you missed most while you’ve you put yourself into this forced exile?” “Kristina.” “Ok, last one. Who do you wish you were holding at the end of each day, and even holding right now?” “Kris…” Drake quickly sits back with a smug look. “So, Maxwell, we finally agree that you love her.” Maxwell raises his voice a bit. “So what if I do. It changes nothing. She left me…alone…with no contact.”

Maxwell turns his head and again stares out the window for a few minutes, while Drake just leans his seat back waiting for him to speak. Finally in a soft and almost somewhat defeated voice, “But Drake, even if she did like me too, in that way, she had a prince who was choosing her. There is no way she would see me…see me more than a best friend. I’m nothing like Liam.” His face changes to a pained expression. “…but Drake, every time I close my eyes I see visions of her, and during the day sometimes I see mirages of her as if my mind is playing tricks on me.” “Maxwell, look at me.” Maxwell won't turn from the window. “Seriously…” Drake shakes his head, “look at me. Good gods I never knew this happy go lucky thing you have, and seeing the good in everything was just fueled by such stubbornness.” Drake grasps Maxwell's shoulder lightly. “There were signs that you and Liam missed, and Bertrand ignored, seen by everyone else. For one, how the expressions of her eyes began to change almost daily when she looked at you and stole glances. How her body language changed as she danced with you. How she had a special laugh just for you. It didn't take long for Hana to pick up on it, and then she drug me along until I saw it too. She turned it into a mission to get you both to admit your feelings for each other. And so here we are, clearing names and playing Cupid.” Drake shakes his head, “Things I do for you people.”

Maxwell takes a long time to process it all. This conversation, the Social Season, and the little signs he guesses he missed along the way. Drake is almost asleep when Maxwell bolts up straight in his seat, tapping his now bouncing legs while his countenance beams, and he asks with a voice full of excitement, “So, you think it might actually be possible? I mean her… me…I mean it seems crazy but…there's hope, right?” “We’ll find out. But there's been time between then and now for things to have happened, but, aw hell, I’m a guy. I don't know.” Maxwell can't sit still at all now. “Oh for fucks sakes.” Drake grimaces. What have I done? “Now you’re going to be more normal,” Drake uses air quotes around the word normal, “Maxwell on this trip from this point on, aren't you.” Drake drops his head into his hand. “You know it, buddy!” Maxwell is on the edge of his seat still bouncing, which is coincidentally bounces Drake’s seat. I can't believe I’ve made it this far into this conversation without alcohol. Where is the stewardess?

“Sooooo, you think Hana will know? I mean she must. Girls talk about this stuff. When does she land in LA?” Drake, with his head still in his hand, looks at Maxwell through the space between his fingers. “Even if Hana knows anything from before the coronation night, I’m sure there's some kind of girl code or Hana knows some kind of protocol for these types of things. Doubt you'll get anything out of her.” “Okay, so we find Tariq, get him to give the statement, then what Drake?” Drake sits up seeing Maxwell's unabashed hopeful look, “Then we try and find Hampshire.” “Really? YES!!!! Where have you and Hana decided to look first? Ohhhh, does Hana know where Kristina is?” “Unfortunately, no. She hasn't heard from Hampshire at all. Just like the rest of us. But, we are going to start in New York.” “Ummm, New York City is huge!” Maxwell’s eyes grow large as he looks at Drake. “We’ll start where all this started.” Drake says matter of factly. “At a little dive bar we both know.”

#the royal romance #choices the royal romance #maxwell beaumont #maxwell x mc

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livinglikearoyal · 7 years ago

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Critical || BTS Jimin

Ask ● Master List ● WIP

Prompt(s):

22) I’m human too. || 32) Thanks for texting me, means a lot. || 61) You’re okay, I promise. (Drabble Challenge) Something like him overworking himself in some way, but hiding it from everyone. You notice this and try to care for him secretly I suppose, but go with your own flow. I'd like it angst to fluff on the long end only if you can.

Anon: Hey there sweety. I am proud to say that I've been following your stories since a month ago and I'm impressed by all your creations!I caught the feeling whenever I read them.And I would like to try my luck if you could make an angsty Jimin story after this.It doesn't matter what genre.I just love all your ideas.

Requested by: @skylions-den and anon

Summary: Your friendship with Jimin is still pretty fresh. How will both of you handle it when you can tell that he is overworking himself?

Humans have the tendency of being their own worst critic. Everyone around you could think the world of you but you believe you are the gum on the bottom of their shoes. Why is that?

Insecurities? Envy? Humility? Selflessness?

Whatever it is, it can have a serious affect on you if it is allowed to fester.

You met Jimin a little over a year ago. It was purely by chance. You were walking home from work with your eyes trained on your phone. Melodies were blaring through your earbuds and the world was passing you by without you having a care in the world. You hadn’t seen the step down as you reached an alley and stumbled. Flailing like a small child trying ice skating for the first time, you managed to catch your balance and save your skin from any abrasions. The same couldn’t be said about your bag and phone. They had come to land at the feet of a passerby that had halted midstep. Next to them was a coffee cup from the cafe around the corner, lid off, and a stream of creamy liquid flowing into the drain grate that your phone had just narrowly avoided.

One coffee and thousands of apologies later, you found yourself smiling as Jimin handed you back your phone and strode out of the cafe.

Ever since that moment, you and Jimin had stayed in contact. At first, it was just a text here and there. A short phone call to confirm plans to meet followed next. Between schedules and his hesitance, it took Jimin a while to warm up to you. There was something about you that made him cautious at first. It could’ve been the fact that you tend to word vomit around new people and let slip that you were a fan of his through texts. Or the fact that you are socially awkward. It could’ve been that he was just shy around you. When he invited you to come watch a dance practice with him and the boys, you knew it was a major breakthrough.

A year later and you can confidently say that Jimin is a close friend. Your best friend.

The two of you exchanged keys to each other’s apartments. The reasoning for him giving you his key was so that you could check in on the apartment while they were gone on tours and promotions, but you understood that there were times when he’d want you to come over but couldn’t guarantee that he’d be home first. You couldn’t complain. Even though you were socially inept at times, you liked to be around people--especially Jimin and the guys-- whenever you could.

He put your key to use occasionally; he needed a break from “the idol life” at times and your apartment was always calm and quiet retreat. It also doesn’t hurt that you have a cat.

There have been more than a few times when one of you would send a quick “Coming over” text when you needed each other before walking into the other’s place. The first time you did this was when you were on the brink of an anxiety attack because of work. The first time he did it was when he was worried about whether or not you were taking care of yourself after a rather emotional break up with your boyfriend. After that night, you would end every night with a phone call or FaceTime call to recap the day and wish the other good night.

It is safe to say that the two of you knew a lot about each other. Granted, you’ve only known each other for about a year so you were discovering new quirks about each other every day-- dislikes, passions, history, pet peeves-- but it all felt natural.

About six months after meeting Jimin, you begin to notice that things are a little off.

Jimin is taking longer and longer to respond to your texts. This isn’t anything too shocking considering that they are between comebacks and so he is doing many things to prepare the next album and round of performances. When you call, he’ll always pick up.

“Hey Y/N! I saw your texts. Sorry, I didn’t reply...I had to go into the studio. I have a few minutes now though. How has your day been going?”

The nightly calls begin to happen later and later in the evening and seem rushed. FaceTime calls become almost non-existent. You always send a “Good night” text though.

There were a couple of nights that you are up late working on coursework for your continuing education classes. You would go to your streaming music app only to see that his profile was active and he was listening to the BTS discography.

He rarely listens to BTS stuff outside of work.

You don’t think too much about it, just assuming that the boys are having a late night practice to prepare for the upcoming tour. You continue to burn the midnight oil to finish your paper. Before you log off for the night, you see that his profile is still active.

The following Saturday, you find yourself inside of BigHit’s building. It has been awhile since you’ve visited the boys at work. Knowing from last night’s call with Jimin that they began practicing at an ungodly hour this morning, your hands are full as you gently push the door to the practice room open with your foot.

“Y/N!” Taehyung runs over to give you a hug.

“Oi...watch the coffee you imbecile,” Yoongi scolds as he takes one of the carrying trays from your hand.

“Good to see you too, Yoongs,” you tease, handing the other tray to Namjoon before Taehyung has a fit from holding back his hug.

“Thanks for the fuel, Y/N.” He sends a small smile your way before handing the drinks to the nearest members to him.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” You hear Jin behind you. “Because so far, you’re doing a great job.”

“No, I…” You stop as you turn around and look at him with rosy cheeks.

He isn’t looking at you.

He is staring at the coffee cup.

“Ignore him, he has reached the point of delirious rambling earlier today than normal.” Namjoon tips his cup toward you in a sort of toast. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“My pleasure! I figured you all could use a pick-me-up.”

“And you weren’t wrong.”

“Alright guys, take 10!” The choreography says, as though he had any control over the caffeine-deficient guys at that moment. “Drink your coffee, do your business, and come back ready to run through it all.”

They are already sprawled out around the room: Yoongi and Jin instantaneously closing their eyes as they fall onto the couch, Jungkook and Hoseok stretching in the corner, and Taehyung and Namjoon are scrolling through their phones.

Jimin is sat on the floor against the mirror, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leans as far forward as he can to stretch his hamstrings. Grabbing the last coffee cup from the tray, you make your way over to him.

“Tough morning?” You ask as you pass on the cup.

“Not too bad,” he says before taking a sip of the scalding liquid, “everyone is just sore from getting back into the routine.”

He continues to stretch as the two of you talk about how Namjoon nearly broke the sound system this morning before practice even started. A grimace crosses Jimin’s face as he stretches his arms above his head.

“Sore?”

“Hmmm.”

“Here, let me. Scoot up.”

Looking at you curiously, he drops his arms and scoots away from the mirror just enough for you to kneel behind him. The second your hands begin kneading the muscles right at the base of his neck, he becomes putty in your hands. You tell him about how it took the barista five attempts to get your name right this morning but you’re sure he isn’t actually listening.

“I’m next!” Jungkook declares as he comes closer to the two of you.

“Get your own best friend, Kooks.” Jimin murmurs.

Laughing, you continue the massage until the choreographer comes back in and calls the boys to the floor again.

“Stay and watch for a bit?” Jimin asks as he helps you from the floor.

“Of course”

The next hour is spent watching the boys run through a set of their upcoming tour and then go back to perfect things. You couldn’t tell there was anything wrong in those certain parts, but that is why you aren’t the choreographer, you suppose. Jimin and Hoseok looked perfect while you could tell the others weren’t quite as confident in some of the moves just yet. You could almost dance the older routines with them but the newer ones looked spectacular and you couldn’t wait to see them in the setting of a show rather than a fluorescently lit room.

During their next break, you take your leave. Luckily, you are able to avoid any sweaty hugs by instead offering some high-fives and a promise to visit again really soon.

A few weeks later brings exam season. You are stressed beyond belief and your eyes are starting to not be able to focus on your notes. Rubbing your eyes, you pick up your phone for a study break.

One work day and an evening in the kitchen later, you find yourself looking proudly over the dishes you made for the night. Friday night dinners were a thing for you and Jimin. They wouldn’t always be in the same place and would typically consist of take-out, but you loved these nights nonetheless. It gave you both a chance to slow down and just be in each other’s company.

7 o’clock comes and goes without any sign of Jimin. You texted him when the food was ready but got no response. It gets to the point where you text Hoseok at 8:30 to make sure Jimin was okay. Hoseok lets you know that Jimin was finishing up some recording in the studio tonight and wouldn’t be home until late.

The food is cold on the kitchen counter. There is a sink full of dishes. And you are alone on a Friday night.

An hour later, you are letting yourself into Jimin and Hoseok’s place with an arm full of Tupperware containers. Making a beeline for the refrigerator you set the food on the top shelf and leave before Hoseok can even come to greet you. You know you wouldn’t be the best company at the moment.

The next morning, you wake up to a single text from Jimin.

You try to schedule some friend time over the next few days, but Jimin never seems to be available. He is either working or helping one of the guys with something.

Unlocking the door, you make your way into Jimin and Hoseok’s apartment. All is quiet like you expected. You came over as soon as you finished work because there wasn’t a reason to go all the way across town to your place just to turn around and come back here. You leave the bags of snack food and drinks on the kitchen counter and make your way into the living room to see if the boys have added anything new to their DVD collection.

After choosing a few movies you would like to watch, you find yourself wandering down the hall toward the bathroom. Before you reach your destination, you see that Jimin’s bedroom door is open. Glancing in, you are shocked to find clothes scattered all around the far corner of the room. His bed is unmade and there are water bottles everywhere. His room is usually the tidiest.

You shrug your shoulders and continue to the bathroom. Upon exiting, you walk past Jimin’s room again, only to backtrack and look into it. Sighing to yourself, you grab the clothes hamper near the closet and throw the dirty laundry on the floor into it. You make his bed and grab an armful of water bottles. You pour out the leftover water and throw all of the bottles into recycling.

Right at that moment, you hear the front door open.

“Y/N?”

“In the kitchen!”

Jimin walks in with his arms laden with sacks full of Korean take-out.

“Let’s take all of this into the living room. We’ll just camp out there this evening.” He smiles. You grab the things that you brought and follow behind him.

After eating, he seemed to inhale his food, you find yourselves on the couch. Jimin’s head is in your lap as he is sprawled out across the length of the couch. You’re both looking at the movie that is playing on the screen but the two of you are talking about anything that randomly comes to mind. Your exam, a meeting he had yesterday with PD, a new YouTube video...topics are endless. His voice sounds worn out. He sounds worn out.

At one point, he grabs your hand and places it on his head--your cue to run your fingers through his hair. You laugh to yourself and follow his direction. You're in the middle of a story about an excessively energetic child that came into your job today when you hear soft snores. Looking down, Jimin’s eyes are closed, lips slightly parted, and his breathing has evened out.

Smiling softly, you awkwardly place a throw blanket over as much of his body as you can reach without disturbing him. Turning your full attention to the movie, you get sucked into the storyline--never even realizing that is wasn’t even dark outside yet.

The next month is filled with long days at work and evenings spent with the guys. It was summertime and you weren’t taking any classes, so you were more or less free after your shift at work. Trips to the BigHit building became a routine. Depending on the day, you’d sit in on a dance practice or visit the boys in their studios (at least the ones that would let you in). You’d always leave before they did though. Whenever you made yourself dinner, you made extra and stopped by Jimin’s apartment a few times a week to leave the leftovers in the fridge for him and Hoseok. Sometimes, Hoseok would be home and thank you but never Jimin.

You have been noticing that Jimin’s voice is raspier than usual. He claims it is allergies, but anytime you visit you bring him tea and honey.

The two of you haven’t had much time to hang out outside of the BigHit building. He is always working. You are slightly concerned but you know the tour is right around the corner so you try to bury your worry away.

One night, you insomnia hits you like a freight train. By the time 4am rolls around, you are tired of the frustration so you grab your laptop and begin browsing the internet for something to entertain yourself. Opening your music app, you notice Jimin is active.

Fifteen minutes later, you realize that he is no longer active.

The tour begins and the boys are jet-setting across the world. You continue to text Jimin as you normally do for about a month, but he rarely responds--leaving you on read.

You have a few days of vacation time saved up and the boys are going to a city that you’ve always wanted to see. You decide that this is a perfect time to also catch up with Jimin while seeing the boys’ show too. You leave a voicemail for Jimin letting him know your plans, text Namjoon so he can talk with the managers because who knows if Jimin actually will and then book your flight.

Stepping out of the airport, you see a young woman with your name on a sign. Smiling at her, you roll your luggage in her direction. She helps you load it into the trunk of the vehicle before driving you to the hotel.

“Go ahead and get settled into your room. I’ll wait down here. When you’re ready, we’ll head to the venue and meet up with everyone else.”

Entering your room, you see that the boys (more specifically Namjoon) have pulled out all of the stops for you. This is a room that looks like one they are worthy of. Plush blankets, a view of the city to die for, and sleek designs everywhere you look. You also notice a door that joins your room to another. Making sure your side is locked, you freshen yourself up in the bathroom before returning to the lobby.

“Here is your pass,” the woman hands you a lanyard. “Act like you know what you’re doing and you should be fine. We’ll go in through the back entrance so we shouldn’t have any issues anyway.”

She was right. Getting into the venue was no issue whatsoever. You hang out in the massive green room while the boys finish their soundcheck. You can hear them coming down the hall awhile before you actually see them.

“Y/N!”

You are engulfed in a Taehyung hug. Jin, Yoongi, and Namjoon wave to you as you peer over his shoulder. Jungkook walks by and gives you a high five on his way to the table full of food along the back wall. Hoseok flashes his best smile your way before ducking into the bathroom.

Jimin walks over and gives you a gentle hug once Taehyung releases his grasp.

“I’m glad you’re here.” He nearly whispers. You notice that his frame feels slightly smaller than what you're used to and he has some dark areas under his eyes as he pulls away from you. You hand him the tea that you brought for him.

The next hour is a whirlwind of activity. The boys are shooed off to shower before coming back in and taking up residence in each of the hair and makeup stations. You talk to Namjoon about how the tour has been going since he found himself in the chair nearest to your spot on the couch. You are trying to stay out of the way as much as possible.

As the guys finish in the chairs, they move behind a curtain to change into their first outfit for the show. Jimin is one of the first ones back there and is still back there once everyone else has emerged, ready for the stage.

“Jimin?” You walk over to the curtain.

You can hear him mumbling. One of the stylists come around the curtain shaking her head.

“He won’t listen to me. Try your best.”

With a crease finding its way to your browline, you walk around to the backside of the curtain.

Jimin is there, fussing with the leather belts and suspenders that are a part of his outfit.

“Jimin,” you ask softly, “What’s wrong?”

“It doesn’t feel right.” He tugs on the suspender strap.

“It looks okay…”

“It’s too loose! It’s going to fall down while I’m performing and mess everything up.” He tugs harder on the strap.

You walk over to him, placing your hand over his. “Tugging is only going to make it worse, J. Let me see what I can do.”

He huffs impatiently and looks at the ceiling as you unlatch the buckle. “Did it feel right last concert?”

He hums in the affirmative.

“Hmmm...tell me when it feels like you want it too.” You pull the leather strap tighter until he says “there”.

There isn’t a hole where one is needed, so you tell him to hold the strap as you peek around the corner.

“Does anyone have a safety pin?”

Yoongi picks one up off of a nearby table and brings it to you with a question in his eyes.

“He’ll be out soon.” You confirm as you take the small piece of metal from his hands.

Returning to Jimin, you take the strap back into your hand and poke a new hole. Sliding the metal of the buckle through the fresh opening, you slide the leather through the holder and pat it before removing your hands.

“Better?”

He smiles softly and moves his hand to his left suspender. “This one feels off too.”

You repeat the process to the other piece of leather. Closing the safety pin, you grasp Jimin’s hand before he can walk to the other side of the curtain.

“Hey,” you whisper so the others can’t hear, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He says automatically. “I’m late though. I need to go.”

You watch the duration of the show from the side of the stage. You don’t go back to the green room during any transitions, not wanting to miss anything. Also, you feel like you are less of a hindrance here than you would be if you were an extra body in the green room during these quick changes.

You are in awe during the entire show. The boys have their solo stages near the end of the concert. Jimin is one of the last ones. You’ve seen him rehearse his set many times and he is amazing on stage. He comes alive. His lines are perfection and his voice steady. When he hurries off stage, lips pulled tight in a frown, you find yourself making your way back to the green room.

The scene that greets you is one of organized chaos. Assistants and stylists are everywhere, handing bags of ice and water bottles to the boys, helping with last minute changes to their appearance, and shouting reminders over the dull roar of conversation. Jimin is near a makeup chair getting fanned by an assistant and having minor changes made to his wardrobe. He is staring at himself in the mirror, occasionally taking a long drink of water. You can tell the staff is trying to start a conversation with him, but he isn’t reciprocating.

When the stylist leaves his side, you walk up to him.

“That was beautiful, Jimin! I’ve never…”

“It sucked.”

“What?”

“I was flat for the entire last half. My mic pack nearly came off. And my voice cracked on the chorus.”

One of the managers shouts, “If you’re ready, head to the stage. One minute!”

Jimin quickly turns and walks out the door before you have the chance to say anything. You stare after him like you have just seen a ghost.

“Don’t worry about him,” Jungkook says as he picks up another bottle of water. “He’ll be fine after this next set.”

You stay off to the side of the stage to watch the end credits of the concert, giving the guys and their team some time to do what they needed to do before you got in their way. You smile to yourself as you hear the leaving audience begin yet another rendition of one of the songs from the show. During every intermission, they’d begin singing a different song. It was nice. You take out your phone to record it for the boys. Once the sound has died down because they are all in the halls instead of the arena, you turn on your heels and made your way to the green room.

“What did you think, Y/N? Awesome right?” Hoseok meets you at the door. He is back in his street clothes and has a radiant smile.

“It was amazing, Hobi!” You say. “I’m glad I could see it! You have all worked so hard.”

He smiles, pulling you into a hug before making his way further into the room. You hold small conversations with the other guys as you pass them, but you feel the need to check on Jimin. You grab a water bottle and piece of fruit from the table and go to sit next to him on the couch. He is leaning his head back against the couch and his eyes are closed.

“Jimin?”

The corner of his mouth pulls down closer to his chin. He heard you.

“I brought you water and an apple.”

“Don’t want it.”

“Okay.” You dejectedly set both items on the table.

An awkward silence falls over the two of you.

“The show was spectacular.” You begin, cheerily. “Your fans were so happy when they were leaving…”

“ARMY.”

“Yes, the ARMY was happy…”

“Why can’t you just go away?” He opens his eyes to glare at you. You stop mid-sentence, thumb frozen over the play button of the video you recorded just minutes ago.

“But…”

“Seriously, why are you even here?” He stands up and runs his hands aggressively through his hair.

“Jimin…” Namjoon’s warning voice can be heard above the other conversations in the room, which begin to quiet as the participants realize what is going on.

“Why did you even come? Why couldn’t you stay home? I never said I wanted you here.” He says with malice as he grabs his bag.

“I just…”

He turns to look at you when he reaches the door. The fire in his eyes and steely set of his jawline makes you feel like you are a foot tall.

“Go home, Y/N,” he sneers. “You’re just in the way.”

And with that, he twists the doorknob and storms out, leaving the entire room shocked and confused.

The muted city lights keep you company that night. Deafening silence seems to envelop the stately hotel room, even though you know that there are kids two doors down that are probably fighting sleep and a dog upstairs that barks every time the elevator dings. You can’t hear any of it though.

You’ve been tossing and turning for hours; the events of the evening playing over and over again in your thoughts like a broken record. Each time Jimin walks away from you in your mind’s eye, your heart clenches a little tighter and another crease graces your forehead. Glancing at the time, you roll over and groan loudly into the pillow.

You sent him several texts and tried calling multiple times since he stormed out of the door. All were left unread and unanswered.

The distance between you and your best friend seems to be growing by the second. The fact that he is literally on the other side of the wall but it feels like he is a world away speaks to this. You had found out from Jin that Namjoon made it so that you and Jimin and conjoining rooms so you could spend more time together while you were here.

It was a nice thought.

“Is it my fault?” You ask the room.

Was I too pushy? Not pushy enough? Why is he so frustrated with me? Did he mean what he said?

After staring at the popcorned ceiling until your eyes started to water, you throw the blankets off of yourself and slide your feet into the slippers that are beside the bed. Taking one last look at the clock--3:37AM-- you make your way to the door that connects your room with Jimin’s. Opening the door on your side, you pause before knocking lightly on the last couple inches of wood that separate you from your best friend.

“Jimin?” You call, quietly enough not to disturb the rooms around you but enough for him to hear.

The door remains closed. You try again and get the same response.

Pressing your ear to the door, you try to listen for any sort of sign that he is awake. All you can hear is your own faint heartbeat. Crestfallen, your shoulders slump as you lean more heavily against the barrier.

You can’t let this go though. There is no way you’re going to be able to sleep without talking to him. Almost of its own accord, your hand reaches for the doorknob and tries its luck.

The knob turns and the door opens; your body tumbles into Jimin’s room as the door had been holding you up.

His room is even more silent than yours. The only light that is on is the one right inside the door. This small amount of light lets you absorb one thing.

Jimin isn’t here.

The bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in. His suitcase is open on the chair in the corner. There isn’t any evidence of take-out or shoes left by the door.

“Where are you, J?” Your wide eyes search the room while your front teeth worry the inside of your bottom lip.

You go back to your room to put on your tennis shoes and a hoodie before making your way into the hallway. Jimin wouldn’t leave the hotel on his own. You know that much. He has to be here somewhere.

The soft elevator music does nothing to ease your nerves as you make your way to the ground level. The receptionist looks up as the doors open to the lobby. The empty lobby. You nod your head as you walk around the corner to the hotel bar. The lights are dim but you can immediately tell the Jimin isn’t here either. The only souls in the place are the bartender wiping the already glistening counter and an older gentleman nursing a glass of amber liquid.

Continuing down the hall, you see the lights on in the hotel gym. The scene through the glass door makes you instantly stop.

Considering the hotel chain, it is a small gym. There is enough room for about six exercise machines and the other half of the room is empty, providing space for other styles of workouts. The mirror that extends the length of the wall shows his reflection. He has a look of tired determination in his eyes, assessing every minuscule move of his body. Less than 30 seconds later, he suddenly freezes, spins around and runs his hands over his face in frustration. Walking to his phone on the floor, he presses a button then moves back to his original location.

The corners of your mouth turn downward as you watch him dance. He is drenched; how long has he been down here? The choreography looks perfect, disregarding his tense posture and severe facial expressions. He stops again, restarts the music, and runs through the motions again.

And again.

Something keeps you rooted to the spot in the hallway. Fear? Curiosity? Anxiety? You argue with yourself that you should go in; you should leave him alone and go back to your room. Shuffling from one foot to the other, you don’t even notice the puzzled housekeeper that walks past you until you hear the sound of her cart rolling onto the service elevator. You glance in the direction of the sound before returning your attention back to the gym.

Hurriedly pushing the door open, you run toward the mirror. Jimin is pounding his fist against the mirror with a look of sheer frustration on his face. In the few seconds it takes you to cross the room, you catch a little of what he is saying with each blow…

“...stupid…”

“...impossible…”

“...hate…”

You engulf him in a back hug. His eyes shoot wide open with shock when he feels your arms squeeze around his waist and head fall between his shoulder blades. It takes only a second to register before he tears himself away from you.

“Go. Away.” He says in a voice that sounds deadly serious. You stagger back slightly as you regain your balance. Jimin is looking away from you, but you can see his shoulders rising and falling quickly.

“Jimin, I…”

“I said,” he is nearly shouting now, “leave me alone!”

“I can’t do that, J.” Your voice is as calm as the adrenaline in your body will allow it to be.

“Why not? Why’d you even come back? It isn’t as if I’m anything special.”

“Yes, you…”

“No, I’m not! I’m a fool! I’m not good enough! I can’t dance. I can’t sing. I…”

He looks up at you through soaked bangs.

“I can’t do anything right.”

He slides down against the mirror until he sits on the floor, curling in upon himself and letting out a gut-wrenching sob.

You are next to him in a heartbeat. Testing the waters, you gently place your hand on his arm in as soothing of manner as you can. When he only cries more, you take that as your sign. You sit next to him and wrap your arms and legs as far around his bunched up body as possible. It isn’t the most comfortable position, but that doesn’t matter. Your cheek finds its way to his shoulder and you don’t even comprehend the words that are leaving your mouth until they have made themselves known.

“You are special. You are amazing. You are so talented. You are loved. You are my best friend. I need you. You are special...”

You can tell when he begins to focus on the words you are whispering in his ear. His body impossibly becomes tenser before it gradually relaxes. His breathing begins to even out and his sobs have become whimpers. After a minute or two of this, you move your hand into his hair and begin to massage his scalp lightly and let the room fall silent.

He pushes against your arms and uncurls his body while you do the same, only for him to cuddle into your side.

You can’t help but let a sigh escape your lips when his head comes to rest on your shoulder.

Placing a quick kiss on his forehead, you let him grasp your hands tightly.

After what simultaneously feels like a few seconds and hours of quiet, you are brought out of your thoughts by a nearly inaudible confession.

“I’m not fine. I know I said I was,” he burrows further into your side, “but I’m not.”

You feel your heart shatter into millions of pieces. Tightening your hold on him, you try your best to hold it together.

“I know, Jimmie. I know.”

You hear him sniffle.

“It is okay to feel like you do right now,” you begin while rubbing small circles on the back of his hand with your thumb. “It is okay not to be okay.”

“I’m weak.”

“No, you’re not. You’re human. You have emotions. You have worries. You have struggles. You know how I know?”

You feel his head shake from side to side.

“I’m human too. I have all of those things too. But you want to know the amazing thing about being human? Even after you have reached your breaking point, you don’t have to stay there. Trust in yourself and those around you to pick you back up and things will get better. ”

You feel him pull away from you to sit up on his own. He wipes his cheeks with the back of his hands and sighs deeply.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Jimin.”

“Yes, I do. I took everything out on you. I never should’ve lost my temper. I…”

“Jimin, you’re okay. I promise. Just be honest with me from here on out. Tell me what you need. You know I am the most awkward person when it comes to confrontation and physical interactions…”

He sniggers under his breath. “The fact that you call it physical interactions…”

“My point exactly.” You lean so that your shoulder pushes his body slightly. “As I was saying...I know I’m awkward and I don’t always know how to be there for you in the way you need me to be as your best friend. Tell me and I’ll do my best. I don’t want you to feel as alone as I’m sure you’ve been feeling over the past couple of months ever again.Okay?”

He gives a shy smile. “Okay.”

“Talk to me. What happened?”

This invitation seems to be all that Jimin needed. He immediately starts spilling every thought that has been running through his head recently. How his dancing doesn’t seem to be improving. How his vocals have been faltering even though he has been having extra vocal lessons and practicing more. How he has been letting the boys down. Letting ARMY down. Letting you down. How he feels exhausted all the time.

You give him your full attention while he opens up. Your eye contact and soft touches let him know that you are listening.

After he has emptied his thoughts out, he takes a deep breath and chuckles at himself

“I’m a mess.”

“We’ve gone over this already, Jimin. You are not a mess. You have just been alone in your head for too long. You’ve been nitpicking at everything that you do and you’re missing out on the fact that you are so much more than those few little things that you feel like are wrong.”

“Your dancing is mesmerizing. Granted, what I saw just now wasn’t as great but that is because you weren’t lost in the music like usual. You were looking for mistakes and that was causing it to look off. If you just let yourself go, like you did at the concert tonight, I know I can’t watch anyone else besides you.”

“Vocally, you have just overworked you vocal chords recently. That is what has been causing your issues on stage. I mean, even your speaking voice is a little more gruff than normal. Just take it easy, rest your voice, and you’ll be back in tip-top shape in no time there. You aren’t in the vocal line of BTS for nothing.”

“And everything else...it is all in your head. Your brothers love you. I love you. ARMY loves you. We understand that you will have off days. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Perfection isn’t what we’re looking for. We want to see you happy. Give us what you can without burning yourself out.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” You smile softly at him.

Looking at the clock on the wall, you stand up. “Come on. It is late. We’re both tired and you stink. Let’s get out of here.” You help him stand up.

He gasps playfully, “I should be offended.”

“Smell yourself. That’ll offend you enough.” You throw a wink over your shoulder as you hand him his phone that you had picked up from the floor.

The silence between the two of you is comfortable as you make your way back to the hotel rooms.

You watch him go into his room before opening the door to your own. After locking the door, you turn around to see him in your room with a curious look on his face as he looks between you and the open door between your rooms.

You blush slightly, “I was looking for you earlier and the door was unlocked. I couldn’t sleep until we talked. I didn’t want you mad at me.”

He comes up to engulf you in a hug. “I could never be mad at you. Even if I act like it, I’m not. It’s just for show.”

You reciprocate the hug, burying your face into his shoulder but pulling away quickly and pushing him back toward the open door. “Go. Bathe. Now.”

You can hear him laughing as he returns to his room.

You’re not quite ready to fall back to sleep. Deciding to leave the door open, you stretch out on your bed for the second time that night and begin scrolling through different apps on your phone. You can hear the water running through the pipes and this almost lulls you into your dreams until you hear a door open.

Opening your eyes, you see Jimin standing in the doorway.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, seeing the look of worry in his eyes.

“I…”

You quirk your eyebrows as you wait patiently.

“I know I was a jerk earlier and I don’t deserve it. But I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I’m fine with leaving the door open tonight. I’ll be right here.” You say with a reassuring smile that only falters when you see him shaking his head.

“No, I mean...I feel like I need to be close to someone. I was back in my head in the shower and I need someone to...keep me in the real world?”

“Oh.” You say, eyes darting around the room. Everything is silent.

“I’ll just go ask Tae or Kookie. I’m…”

“No, no. It’s okay. Do you want me to sleep in your room or do you want to come in here?” You ask hurriedly before he can leave.

“Really?” He raises his eyes to meet yours.

“Really.” You smile.

He walks into his room for just a moment, turning off the lights, before walking through the door frame and into your room for the second time that night. You scoot over and make room for him on the bed.

After crawling under the blankets, he turns to shut off the lamp on his side of the bed and you do the same on yours.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Jimin.”

The two of you stay on your separate sides of the mattress for a few minutes, neither of you moving. That is until you feel him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer so he can rest his head on your shoulder. The tension in both of your bodies seems to dissipate instantly.

He lets out a grand sigh as he feels your hand come to play with the hair at the nape of his neck and he relaxes his hold slightly.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Anytime.”

The two of you fall asleep just as the sky begins its transition from dark blue to gold; your dreams are filled with comfort and laughter.

A/N: Goodness gracious, it has been awhile! I’m back! Sorry if the texts look weird...it was easier for me to screenshot my Google Doc than to mess with formatting today. Please let me know what you think of this piece...I’m feeling pretty rusty when it comes to writing. THANKS for reading! 💜 Leah

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#bts #jimin #park jimin #drabble #reaction #scenario #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #imagine #livinglikearoyal #bangtan #text #this is so long

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