#here's some angst
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frogmanfae · 1 year ago
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I just listened to In Pieces (from the musical In Pieces) and of course my mind is running with Davey thoughts because it's sung by Ben Fankhauser so anyway:
Jack told Davey he was finally going to Santa Fe, several years after the strike ended
By this time, he and Davey had a relationship that they never labelled but it was clear that they were more than just pals
So Davey was absolutely heartbroken, but he supposed he should have seen this coming, so he tried not to let it show how upset he was
Until the night before Jack is supposed to leave
Davey couldn't sleep, so he just looked at Jack (who was asleep next to him, just as he was most nights) and his thoughts spiralled as they so often do when he's anxious
And he just cried silently, careful to not wake Jack because he had a long trip ahead of him and he needed to be well rested
That just made Davey cry more
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thatsneakymedic · 1 year ago
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October Writing Challenge Day 11 Blood
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Pouring the extra blood in a new bag, he looks behind the anemic person who was in a dire need of it, the blood bag despite Kabuto accidentally tearing the corner of the plastic an hour ago. It was still new since blood bags that have been unlocked are still fresh after 24 hours so Kabuto got to work quickly to get it ready for transfusion.
"Sorry about the little spill, but it's nothing to worry about. Your treatment will go as planned. And if you're uncomfortable with this, I can go use another bag. It'll still be the same." Kabuto said with a calm voice as the woman on the seat waits for him to get the blood ready.
"It's fine. Blood is blood, and even if it is bad. It's not like I have much longer to live anyways. I just don't want to be in so much pain when my time comes." The woman sighed as she stares at the ceiling with a bored tone. Having severe chronic anemia really sucked when even with all of the fluids and eating the foods that she hated. She constantly needs a blood transfusion almost every month before and after her menstrual cycle. She's embarrassed that it almost feels like as if she's some glass of water or blood that would always "leaks out" thanks to her gender and constantly needs blood to manage the day. She hated how tired she is, she hated how a lot of her peers avoid touching her since she's always "cold" and frail all of the time, and most of all. She hated the annoyance and the pity that her family members would give her when she would at least try to maintain whatever's left of her relationship with them. Even though it almost feels like they're looking forward to her dying so that they can be out of their way.
Thank goodness that the one person who actually valued her worth was Lord Orochimaru himself. Who always offered his reassuring touch, how he didn't alienate her for her condition, and he valued her skills as a shinobi despite her constant need for blood. Specifically AB blood both positive and negative since her body itself seems to somehow reject all other blood types. As and Bs blood only give her half of the iron she needs temporarily while O type blood makes her even more "sick" despite that it's a universal blood that can be given to anyone in the world. An unusual case that Kabuto is also currently looking into.
Kabuto turns to her as he decides that out of respect, he'll put away that certain kind of blood pack that spilled out and he takes out a fresh one just for her, "Don't be ridiculous. You're not going to die, you're just taking your medication, no shame in that. And if you're worried about the blood supply, don't. There's plenty of AB blood for you to use."
"That's not the point. I'm just saying that I'm just tired of being sick and feeling alone all of the time. My other family members are all healthy and fine and they should've also have the same illness as I do, but it seems that I'm the unlucky one out of them. And they love to remind me about how much of a failure to their eyes and yet they have no idea how much me and grandmother have sacrificed for their sake." She said while her hands clench into fists.
"They call you a failure, but they don't have your family's genetic kekki genkai as powerful as yours and your late grandmother. Lord Orochimaru did say that you didn't need to bring them along to take care of them when we recruited you, but you.-" Kabuto's voice was cut off when she gave him a rather annoyed sneer which stopped him from saying what she already knows.
"I know what I said, and I can't go back on my grandmother's promise. They're all ungrateful and spoiled brats, all of them. Only sticking to that false sense of pride of a forgotten clan when we're suffering from fertility issues, our land stolen, financial issues, and genetic blood disorders... like mine. And yet they're all relying on me "the diseased one" to stay afloat."
Kabuto listened to her frustrated rant as he prepares the IV staff next to her and he gets the IV needle ready to be put inside of her arm. "If that is what you're going to stick to, I can't say anymore. I have already told you before that family isn't about being related to someone. Sometimes friends can be trusted and appreciate you more than blood relatives ever could. Just know that Lord Orochimaru does not see any less of you, he sought you out himself after all and you can trust that I'm still working on finding a possible treatment for your blood disorder. I just need more time to find it."
He now injects the needle into her arm and she doesn't flinch or wince at the sudden pain and he allows the blood to flow through the pipe and into her veins, "I'm just saying that, even though we can't replace your family and the bonds that you had with them before your illness changed their views of you, but just know that we won't ever be like them". Sick or not, you're still valuable and precious to Lord Orochimaru. So don't even think about dying, since even selfishly wishing for death only serves as a betrayal of Lord Orochimaru's hopes and his caring feelings for you."
She could only breathe slowly in response to that as the blood was now inside of her veins, and strangely enough, the pale color on her cheeks fades as she starts to look slightly more healthier the more blood goes inside of her. Her thin lips also become plush as they always had been. For her to already recover this fast despite that she would need at least another bag of blood after this one, further shows how unusual her condition is compared to other anemic individuals.
"... You're right. I'm sorry for not thinking of it that way. It was indeed foolish of me to take all of these procedures for granted when Lord Orochimaru has generously has offered his hand to me and to my family and is putting the effort to keep me alive. I guess my family's harsh words and treatment had made me forget that for a moment." She clenches and unclenches her hand as she can feel her body now getting warmer and warmer by the second.
She's slowly feeling alive and her cranky attitude from earlier was also diminishing to that of a submissive docile woman who's family's abuse has taken it's toll on her personality but yet only bound to duty and familial love and devotion towards them.
"If you ask me, you should... "limit" your contact with them in the meantime while also sending them the money for food and other important stuff that they need to keep themselves alive while also forcing them to seek out jobs if they want more money for frivolous expensive crap." That is if that's the kind of relationship you have that is already happening. They don't see you as human, but more like an ATM and someone who brings them free food from the government. You deserve to surround yourself with people who would appreciate and love you." Kabuto replied as he watches the monitor of her health to make sure that everything is going well.
"It's easier said that done when you know that I just... can't do that. But... I'm just so tired of their abuse at this point. Umm... Lord Kabuto. May I ask for a favor from you?" She thinks for a moment while she turns to Kabuto now, "Is it alright if I can spend the night here? I like to get some proper sleep before I return to them."
Kabuto looks at her with his glasses reflecting her pleading yet tired expression and he kindly smiles at her, "Of course you can. You can stay as long as you want here and eat the recommended foods that will be provided to you here, the only thing that me and Lord Orochimaru will not allow is for your family to demand Lord Orochimaru's audience or to stay here with you either. We won't tolerate any of their disrespect or unnecessary fighting, if you get what I mean."
She could only nod despite that she's holding in some tears of joy as more of her condition improves as the blood bag is now half empty.
"Thank you Lord Kabuto."
@lunyraartistry
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kibouhero · 1 month ago
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@ignitionxbomb said: It's been a day since Katsuki had apologized to Izuku for everything up until now. And the blond couldn't help but notice that the green haired teen had been, almost trying to, avoided being alone with him. Making an annoyed face as he approached the his childhood friend, "Oi, De--Izuku, do ya want to talk about anything?" //do you want pre-dating angst with the boys, Cyn?!
Despite finally getting some rest at U.A., Izuku was still mostly closed off from Kacchan. It wasn't like he was doing it consciously! He was just not sure how to approach him right now...
Especially after that apology...
Honestly, Izuku should've expected that Kacchan would eventually confront him. Though, of course, he didn't.
He just finished eating dinner and placed his dishes in the dishwasher. He waited until everyone else left the kitchen before eating because talking to other people felt draining for the first time in his life.
He tensed up immediately when he heard Kacchan's voice. He thought about making an excuse to get away but knew that it would only make the tension between them worse.
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Izuku let out a slow breath before turning around to face him with a small smile. He still looked exhausted, and the smile never quite seemed to reach his eyes. "Hey, Kacchan," he greeted. "Talk about what?"
He already had an idea of what Kacchan wanted to talk about, but he wanted to hear his childhood friend say it first.
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riskitbrisket · 2 months ago
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❝ rest is important too, you know. ❞ (Viktor)
Rest... well, he'd never been very good at that. rest gave time and awareness to everything and brought it forward, forcing him to feel it. Viktor couldn't know that though, no one really knew his mind - a half pint of calculations, regrets, and horrible, horrible memories.
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It hadn't changed even after all this time, so many nights go without proper sleep, insomnia induced, his body and its inability to process that there is no REAL danger. his gaze holds itself in the coffee, dark, depthless, sometimes he feels that way - like vast pit with no clear sight below, it had felt like that after each failed attempt, each sight of bodies buried beneath SOMETHING.
" i'll be Fine Viktor, thank you for the concern but it's not the first time i've gone without sleep "
If he just kept drinking coffee, if he just kept problem solving, moving, breathing, kept working at the DINER then maybe it would all just go away - maybe then he'd remember what it was like to breathe. " are you going to tell me why you're up though?"
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ctrlzxoo · 2 months ago
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ROUND 7: amongst a sea of green, is a glimpse of snow
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Bonus: happy end(?)
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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quick itfs sketch page
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mmpookie · 22 days ago
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taking a break from our regularly scheduled program for mizi and (her very alive gf) sua from alien stage!
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lorehappy83 · 11 months ago
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"Do what you must, Angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing"
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kittykalliarts · 1 year ago
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For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.
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teddybeartoji · 7 months ago
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彡 WEEPING, CARVED OPEN HEARTS
☆. contains: bf!toji fushiguro x gn!reader; mild angst with comfort (they had an argument oh no), toji learns how to apologize, toji is in love wc: 2.3k
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your throat is sore and your eyes burn. you're tired and sad and upset and you just want it to be over already. but his sharp words swim laps in your head and you can't think about anything else. the ceiling of your shared living room is the only form of solace at this point, the shadows of the street putting on a show just for you.
the warm light of the lamps that stand tall behind the apartment window use the ceiling as a canvas, the passing cars as little characters running around. you hear hollering – it's saturday night, people are having fun. and you're curled up on the sad couch with a sniveling nose.
you hear steps and the bathroom door clicking shut and you use the moment to grab your stuff; a pillow, a blanket and a change of clothes – the very same sad couch will be your best friend tonight.
he turns on the water and you stand behind the door, longingly staring at the wood, wishing the night had gone differently.
but it didn't. so, you put on your pyjamas and sink into the couch. letting a few last tears fall from your eyes, you try to get some rest.
try.
while you're cocooning yourself away from the world, toji is staring at his own reflection in the foggy mirror. hands splayed on the cold countertop, his head hangs low and the running water turns into a muffled sound in his ears; dark strands of hair fall in front of his exhausted eyes, and he too, can't stop thinking about his own words.
regret fills his veins, threatening to explode under his skin. he can't tear his eyes from the disappearing reflection, the steam covering up more and more of the glass, hiding his guilty stare. his heart beats in morse code, calling out your name with every breath he takes but he's still stuck in this tiny shrinking room while you're out there – in the dark, in the cold, drowning in the impact of his words. he didn't mean them, he didn't. toji squeezes his eyes shut and his head drops to his chest. he thinks about your trembling hands and your shaky voice.
a sigh.
a miserable one.
he drops his towel and stands under the hot water. the warmth takes him in but it's nothing compared to you. the droplets comb through his hair but it's nothing compared to you. they cascade down his scarred shoulders and the muscles of his back, but it's nothing.
compared to you.
the smell of the shampoo makes him want to vomit. your shampoo. his shampoo. he rubs at his scalp and lets the suds drip over his face. he scrubs his body and he wishes he could do it harder. he hopes that you're sleeping well. no, he doesn't. he wants to say goodnight to you.
he tilts his head up towards the shower head and closes his eyes, letting the water run over his neck and his adam's apple, washing away all of the remaining ugly words that might've still been lurking in his throat.
he turns the water off and steps out. only throwing on his sweatpants, he doesn't even bother drying himself off, he just needs... you. he needs to hold you, he needs to hear you. he needs to feel his heartbeat.
one step out of the bathroom and toji can already see the corner of your blanket hanging from the edge of the couch. he fists the material of his pants at his side as he breathes out. it hurts. slowly, he approaches your bundled up body, trying to figure out whether you're already asleep or not. your face is hidden in the pillow, your back facing him and he just wants to see you.
"leave me alone."
it hurts.
his head falls back, his eyes raking over the faint shadows on the ceiling. a car honks on the street below, the wind blows behind your cracked open window. his chest feels heavy, his shoulders hurt.
"why aren't you in bed?"
quiet. you think about not answering. you thought about not talking to him throughout the entire night, but now that he's here... it's harder than you thought.
"because you're mean. and you hurt my feelings." your fingers dig into the pillow under your head. "and i don't want to fucking see you."
his knee cracks when he squats down beside you. his fingers itch to play with the ends of your hair, to pull you into his body and never let you leave.
"well, thank god you can't see anything when yer sleeping then, hm."
he's infuriating. he sounds tired. you want to slap him, you want to push him away. you hate that you can hear strain in his voice. you want him to say that he's sorry. you want to hold him. you want him to show that he cares.
leaving the safe confines of the warm blanket, you whip your head towards him. the light coming from the outside is barely enough to show you his eyes. they're soft, softer than you've ever seen them before. a dark forest; the green circular windows are pleading for you. please, don't be scared of what's inside.
"no arguments for the first two statements?"
you're a inches away from bumping your nose against his, your warm breath hitting his skin as you scoff. the pain is still there, slowly but surely turning into anger but he understands.
"i'm– trying, yeah?"
your eyes flick between his, searching for... something.
"why is your own pride more important than my feelings, toji?"
...
he fucking hates the way you're looking at him. loathes.
you look exhausted too, eyes swollen from all of the crying from before and now there are fresh tears forming in the corners of them.
because of him.
why is his pride more important? it isn't. it isn't, it isn't, it isn't. and yet... silence. something scratches in his throat – it wants to get out but it's hard. a drop rolls over the apple of your cheek and his head falls against your shoulder with a sigh. you don't push him away, you don't invite him in either. why is it so hard for him?
"i just feel like you don't care at all sometimes. when you refuse to apologize – it seems like we're competing against each other but i don't even know what the game is."
your voice is shaky and you're doing your best to come off as composed as you can because you want him to hear you out. you're scared he's going to brush you off. again.
he fiddles with the edge of your blanket, his weight heavy on your body.
"apologizing doesn't make you weak, you know. you're not losing anything – toji, we're not competing over anything. it would simply show that..." you take a big breath in, and let a big one out. "it would show that you do care. that you listen to me, that you want me here."
somebody laughs in the distance. toji smells so good. you close your eyes and focus on what you're about to say.
"it's okay for it to be hard, i don't expect you to spill it right away but it is important to me. i need to know that you're not just dusting away my feelings just because you find them difficult to deal with."
pulling your one hand from under the covers, you let it dig into his wet dark locks. your shampoo, his shampoo.
"but if they are too difficult to deal with..." you trail off, your own thought making more tears fall from the corners of your eyes. he buries his forehead into your body as you play with the hair on the nape of his neck and you feel his fingers digging into your blanket.
"don't say that... fuck– please, don't say that."
"i can't do it like this, toji. i'm not gonna apologize for being emotional. i'm not gonna apologize for being myself, for being alive." you hiccup. "i'm not gonna apologize for not being a brick fucking wall."
"i know, sweetheart, i know."
"do you?"
his teeth sink into his bottom lip and he thinks about your smile. about how your eyes shine in the warm sunlight. how you cling to him even when in your sleep. how you keep ruffling his hair even though he pretends to hate it. how cute you look when you steal his massive sweatshirts. how comforting your voice sounds, how well your hand fits into his. how intently you always listen to him, how you wash his back after a long day at work. how stupid your jokes are. and how much he lo—
...
how much he loves you.
your fingers comb through his hair and you're still coddling him despite the fact that you're upset. and sad, and angry. he thinks about how he doesn't deserve you. how you'd be better off with someone else.
he feels you falter, just a bit, and he knows he's wasting time. you're tired and you want to sleep and you want to feel his love. you want to hear it. and nothing gets to be more important than you. he makes that promise in his head, in his heart.
his sun, his moon, his stars. the smell of coffee in the morning and the feeling of your arms around his waist. his everything.
"i'm..."
fuck.
you turn your body, now fully laying on your back, and pull his head against your chest. he listens to your heartbeat and his hands snake around your middle.
"i love you."
he knows for a fact that you're too good for him.
he hasn't even said it yet but you're determined to let him know how you feel. he knows it's not meant as an encouragement either – you're completely bare before him; honest and straightforward, meagerly waiting for him to do the same. hoping he'll do the same. he's not stupid, he knows your patience is running low but you're still trying. still giving him the chance to do right by you because you want him to do right by you.
he gives you a squeeze, nuzzling his face into chest as if he could somehow reach your ribcage that way. he knows his rough hands have to work overtime to hold your big delicate heart and he's scared.
but your heart is probably scared too, isn't it? wouldn't it be scary to be held by these calloused hands; hands that only know pain and hurt?
this is how it goes. you're both scared and you'll both hold each other. whispering praise into the other's ears, regardless of the fear of getting hurt. trust – it's about trust.
i love you. you make me feel safe. stay with me. let me get that for you. let's shower together. i made you coffee. i want you to come with me. hold my hand. kiss me. hug me. hold me. i want you.
i trust you.
"i'm sorry."
...
muffled, and spoken into your skin – it's enough. it's more than enough for you.
soft, warm hands cradle his jaw and raise his head from your chest. soft, warm eyes hold his gaze and he knows his on the right path.
"fuck–" a shaky laugh; his own emotions are swallowing him whole and you're the only thing holding him up. he watches your lips curl up and relief takes over. he melts into your touch and you guide him to your lips.
you hold him there for a moment – noses touching, breaths mingling together. "thank you."
a bear hug, a high-five, a burst of laughter. an ocean wave – intense, and a lot. freeing. the feeling washes over him and he lets himself sink into you. lips against lips, chests against chests, hearts against hearts; without parting from you, toji climbs onto the couch, resting his entire body on top of yours. you don't complain.
he breathes you in and you do the same. he leans to the right and you do the same. he keeps you close and you do the same. his hand kneads the soft flesh of your waist and your hand rakes through his still wet hair. it feels right. it is right.
toji scrambles to push the blanket from between your bodies, desperate to rid of the barrier that's keeping him from his beloved. his rough hands push your shirt up just enough to feel your skin against his. he sighs into your mouth and he feels you smile against him.
your hands clasp behind his neck, pulling him flush to you and you hook your leg over his hip. latched together, forged together.
"i love you." a murmur, accompanied by a kiss to the corner of your lips. he places another onto the curve of your jaw before hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
you turn your head and press your lips to his forehead. "i love you, too."
he's warm and his arms feel so good around you. he's heavy, borderline crushing you under him but you wouldn't have it any other way. you're also a breath away from falling off the couch but you know he wouldn't let you do that. not today at least.
right now, toji is determined to keep you safely in his arms until one of you is dying of hunger and thirst. absolutely nothing else will make him move – he just might let you piss your pants if it comes to that.
for the sake of love, of course.
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mossy-box · 1 year ago
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Tw: Slight blood (minimum)
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My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars - Mitski
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lucabyte · 7 months ago
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"So what's the weirdest possible first (second) impression Loop could make on the party in postcanon?" "Yeah, that, probably."
+ Bonus
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theyre just standing there in direct party order while this happens. normal tuesday.
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evyltalks · 6 months ago
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Creon - Polynices was a rebel and a traitor, and you know it.
Antigone - He was my brother.
a little bit of black siblings angst like we all love
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gabelew · 1 year ago
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sad boyzz
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hemlock-dreams · 1 month ago
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Hiya! I stumbled upon your ex-con!au and fell in love. The lore dump was *chefs kiss*, so good and I love the hard and tough life this AU puts Peter through. *slides you a crisp $5 bill* do you have any other head cannons for your au? Also do you think Weasel knew exactly what he was doing when he hired Peter or was it more like a meh let see how long he lasts?
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*pockets the 5*
Weasel just thinks he runs the bar. As the best dancer/top rizz at St. Margaret's, Scarlett (Emma Jean Watson AKA MJ) is the real power.
Weasel was initially very reluctant to just hire some rando that walked through the door, but when Scarlett asks, it's NOT a suggestion. So Weasel agrees (read: was bullied into accepting).
And Weasel was looking for someone to sling drinks and drop handsy drunks anyways. The girls love Peter, Weasel gets someone else to deal with troublemakers and Peter gets an income! Win-Win-Win!
In the meantime, Peter tries not to fall back on old mistakes and Wade isn't jealous. Nope. Not at all.
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“So…who sold you to Weasel?” Because someone who looks like that has no job working at a place like Maggie’s without the threat of blackmail. At the very least he should be up on stage, twerking those fat tits instead of slinging drinks from the wrong side of the bar. 
Petey (Hmmm…nah) laughs, and the velvet rasp of his voice is unfair, “Scarlett.” 
“Say no more,” Wade grouses, because what Scarlett wants, Scarlett gets. That woman has Weasel’s balls in a fucking bowtie. 
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Thank you so much for these amazing asks! I'm having so much fun fleshing this world out!
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epicthemusicalstuff · 2 months ago
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So we know how it’s a big growth moment for Athena to acknowledge that she pushed Telemachus too far. She is slowly becoming more human, and acknowledging the limitations of humans.
That to me though gives the same feeling of how a mother might not make the same ‘mistakes’ with her younger children as she did with her older children. How she is more careful with Telemachus. Quicker to accept the friendship. Whereas with Odysseus she was a bit more distant and demanding.
Now from an ‘older child perspective’, imagine Odysseus going home, seeing Athena, all the things she does with Telemachus, that she didn’t do with him. I feel it has the potential for a bit of angst, in the sense that- that’s why they Could have had but didn’t. Maybe Odysseus is a bitter? Trying to be happy, happy his son has a mentor and a friend, that Athena is learning and becoming more human, but a bit bitter all the same, because where does that leave him now?
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