#here Picard is mad at Q

[yourbuerokrat2]

Q: I know that you are angry at me right now, Picard. But I want you to know that no matter how mad you are right now, in a couple of hundred years you will have understood why I did what I did.

[landfilloftrash]

Can I return what you have given me? Intertwine your heart with mine !

WHOOOOOOOOOO I FINISHED THIS !!!!! HOOOOOLY shit man !!!! I’m so pleased !!!!

Anyways— Q being dramatic, gay, and tragic with a future Picard getting over trauma AND heart emojiing at said dramatic ass entity is such a beautiful thing methinks and there should be more of it. The song I’m referencing is this one -> Focus is lost; I’ll see you again !

it’s a wonderful time to be hyperfixated as fuck on these idiots <3 ive been dying to draw SOMETHING from/for this fic because it lives goddamn free every second I breathe SO !!! Shoutout to Sakurafox666 on ao3 for writing this masterpiece because I literally cannot stop thinking about it it’s so good; thank you for your service /jov

Also here’s a thing I keep thinking of with this fic;

;]

[lyssak09]

hello love!! could i please request yandere headcanons for Q from star trek: tng? thank youu so much!!! <3

Yandere Q hcs

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!! Q is a basically canonically Yandere for Captain Janeway in Voyager. Also please enjoy my friend! 💙

Q is a manipulative, narcissistic, obsessive, and possessive yandere.

He first met you on one of his many adventures to f*ck with Picard and everyone on Enterprise. You were covering for one of your friends on the bridge.

When he saw you he froze, and he never freezes because of a puny human. You were just so breath taking.

Maybe you're different from humans. Or you're using some weird power over him, but thats highly unlikely.

Q continues his antics but he harasses you a bit. To the point Picard notices it.

Picard finds it annoying how often he harasses you during his time messing with the enterprise, and how often he forces you to be involved.

If Q doesn't see you while screwing with the Enterprise then he will force you to become a part of it some how, including threatening the captain and enterprise.

"Oh Picard, where is that little Lieutenant of yours? Its almost like you're hiding her from me. Don't tell me I have to shake the ship down till I find her?"

Q loves telling you how lucky you are to have caught the eye of an all powerful being like him. He also loves showing off how powerful he is.

He basically uses his powers as pallor tricks to impress show you how truly amazing he is.

Q periodically comes on the Enterprise to see you, and to piss of Picard.

He gets really mad if you're living your life avoidng him when he comes to visit. How dare you go on a lunch date! He is right here.

______________

“Oh, darling!” You hear a familiar voice say. ‘Oh god.’ you think. You duck your head down and look toward your date, “Don’t do anything to draw his attention please!”. Your date looks at you extremely confused, “Why are you hiding from Q?”, they whisper. You shake your head, saying you’ll explain later. All while Q is scanning the room for you, he starts to get more frustrated the longer he can’t find you. But then unfortunately for you, your server has come with your food, drawing Q’s attention to you. “Ahha! There you are my little-” Q starts to say as he nears you but then he notices you’re not sitting alone. His smile drops and his face tightens. “Who are you?” he hissed. Your date is about to introduce themselves when Q interrupts them, “Actually, I don’t care. I already know you’re an insignificant speck of matter, who has no right to be associating yourself with Y/N.”. You try to defend your date but Q snaps his fingers and sends your date to god knows where. He turns his attention back towards you, arms folded and nostrils flaring. “You should know better than to associate yourself with people like them” Q sneers. He gives you a hard stare before his personality takes a flip. “Why don’t we go eat somewhere new, hm? If you’re good I might bring your ‘friend’ back to the ship. Key word, might.”

Q loves to give you little tests, to see how you’ll respond and react. He says it's to gain more information on you humans for the continuum but that's a lie. 

He’ll try giving you powers just like he did to Riker, but whatever your answer is it doesn’t matter, he’ll find it fascinating either way. 

Because that's what you are to him, you’re a fascinating incredible human. Not that he’ll admit that to you. 

“Your race is so fascinating, you do realize how lucky you are to have caught my eye right?”

Q will eventually take you, one way or another. He already has a special dimension just for the two of you. 

The bridge crew will do whatever they can to protect you though. But it won’t be enough against him. Not unless they’re willing to start a war against an omnipotent being. 

______________

“Just give her to me and I’ll send you and your ship on your way Picard.” Q offered. Picard looks at him like he’s insane. “In case you haven’t noticed Q, but our civilization has evolved past selling humans.”, Picard spat. Q rolls his eyes which ticks Riker off. “Look Q, we’re not giving her to you. She’s a human being with rights, including the right to not give herself to a narcissistic lunatic.” Riker sneers at Q. Picard gives him a scolding look before continuing to argue with Q, “You’re not getting her Q. Now leave before this gets serious.”. Q chuckles darkly before giving Picard a pointed look. “I’m giving you one last chance Picard. Just bring her to me and nothing bad will happen.”. “That's not going to happen Q.” He glowered. Q let out a big sigh before giving Picard a wicked grin. “Well, that's too bad.” Q laughs as the ship starts to shake.

He can give you everything you could ever want, all you have to do is give in to him. Just give in and there won’t be a problem, no one will have to get hurt. Just give in

Q is willing to do and give you everything. He’ll show you the multiple universes to your heart's content, he’ll shower you with presents. But he’ll say it's because of how lucky you are to have him, not because he desperately wants to shower you with affection. 

He’ll also manipulate you to love on him. This man is desperate for your touch. Even just accidentally brushing your hand against him will do something to him.

Q can change his appearance, but he thinks the human form he’s chosen is amazing. He will change his appearance for you, but only slightly. And he won’t admit he did it because he overheard your dream guy has blue or green eyes. No, he didn’t add freckles to himself because he heard you talking about them with a coworker. He just felt like changing things up! That's why, no other reason. 

He’ll be willing to change certain things in the bedroom though, but that's for another day another headcanons. 

After a while of beating around the bush and acting subtly, he’ll just start being straightforward. (If you can call how he was acting that.)

He’ll start showing up in your quarters when you come from duty, he has changed how they looked to appear like a wedding venue and he’ll be wearing a suit and tie.

“There’s my dear little human! Are you ready for our wedding? I made it look just as amazing and spectacular as we are together.”

As time goes on his straightforwardness will get worse. Like, extremely.

“Oh my god!” You yell after coming from duty and finding a naked Q on your bed. He had just barely covered himself in rose petals. “Salut mon chéri,” Q purs with a rose in his mouth. You look around and notice all the lit candles, dimmed lights, and wine glasses. Before he knows it you’ve started throwing things at him, screaming for him to get out. He reluctantly leaves before you try attacking him.

I hope you understand how lucky you are that he hasn’t truly used his powers on you. He’s an omnipotent being for universes’ sake! With a snap of his fingers, he could have you in another universe with just you and him. Q could force you to agree to marry him. He could even force yourself on him if he gets that desperate. 

But, just because he hasn’t really used his powers yet doesn’t mean he won’t. Hopefully, you won’t push him that far.

I told you he’s utterly devoted to you right?

Like to an unhealthy amount, (who am I kidding, isn’t that part of the yandere criteria?)

Just the mere look of another human could set him off.

“Who do you think I am you harlot?! How dare you look into my eyes! I’m taken!”

The same goes if someone even glances at you. You’ll need to hold him back or something.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET INTO HER PANTS YOU WHORE!” He screeches and tries to lunge and attack the poor ensign who accidentally touched your arm. While you’re struggling to hold him back by his arm.

I’ve already mentioned that he’s manipulative but I didn’t explain how good he is at it. Of course, his powers help him manipulate people, but even without them, he’s still got a nack for it. He’s especially good at manipulating you with your own emotions. 

Q will use fear, guilt, anger, sadness, and any emotion of yours against yourself. 

Have a stalker (who he totally didn’t create) who won’t leave you be? He’ll send him away! Only if you kiss him though.

Your friend has an unexplainable incurable disease and is dying? Q will fix them up even better than before! Just agree to a date with him.

Your favorite commander (whom you were better than friends with) sacrificed themselves to save you and now you have not only grief but survivor’s guilt? He’ll bring him back with a flick of his wrist! You have to marry him and stay by his side forever though.

Just agree to be his forever and everything will be fine. Sure you might not see your family or friends again. But you’ll see every dimension and universe imaginable! And, no one gets hurt.

So unless you’re willing to sacrifice your friends’ lives, hell even the whole ship, just so he might have difficulty getting you, then by all means! Go ahead.

Just remember how much the crew cares for you, and how little Q cares for them.

[kassandragreyson]

@yourbuerokrat2 brought up a very interesting AU where Q and Toymaker are interacting one with another.

It was in my head for quite a while that Q cannot be the only one spoiled self-concentrated narcisitc hypocrite entity that terrorize little mortals out of fun and exhaustion of existing.

It would be really fun to see how Q would introduce Picard to Toymaker or Picard by accident bumps into him during one of the Enterprise's mission.

I mean. In one way, Q would show Picard that the borg or even him are not the worst. Partly desiring to scare Picard out of pure worring for his life out there and partly to prove a point that Picard needs him to continue his little itty bitty explorations.

In another, if Picard would meet Toymaker by himself, without Q, what would it be?

Obviously he would not like to be a toy and be toyed with, thanks he already has one omnipotent child, and he would not appropriate over playing a theater play that Toymaker would arrange. But Toymaker isn't Q and he would get mad.

Just like Sisko to Q, he would not tolerate a naughty attitude towards his personá. He would not take Picard's temper and that probably would cause a dramatical problem for Picard as he is used to Q and his little mischievousness but this is another level.

Picard hasn't been in contact with any other member of Q Continuum or someone like them to explore the methods of dealing with this sort of creatures. (Mayby Q did spook them away or they just not interested in middle aged balding man, wr can't know for sure.)

So when the Toymaker arrives, Jean-Luc is helpless and useless in front of the real danger like him. Watching his crew being turned into puppet and played in a little scenes makes his stomach flip inside out and turn around. He is sick. He is scared. He is just a mortal after all.

His regular tactic does not work and for the first time he realizes that Q was right: he does not belong in the open space. He cannot handle a little bloody nose and God he should have just shut the fuck up.

And that's where he calls for Q, desperately and hopefully. Q, of course, already saw what was happening and he was that close to kick the Toymaker out in one of the backhoes he would make specifically for him. But then he waited, not that he liked that but he needed Picard to understand. He needed him to get to the realization. Pushing Picard never worked but maybe through his own mistakes, letting his human make a misstep will bring this stubborn man some sense?

Q is here to help. To be here when needed. He is his guarantee that nothing ever will harm Enterprise and especially Jean-Luc.

Just a little time and the right enemy/friend

And Vjola!

Picard has never been so happy to see Q and if not the fact that his crew needed him he would even give Q a hug.

But for now, he just has to watch how entity gets rid of the Toymaker, talking to him in some sort of old ancient language Picard has no idea about, with his glowing eyes and sparking aura.

When Q is done he turns to Picard and he smiles.

Jean-Luc smiles back and quietly asks Q to fix his friends.

Entity is pleased to serve and does as he is asked.

For the first time Picard is truly glad to see Q aboard his ship and be around him.

For the first time Q was thankful to Toymaker and glad that Picard got a little bit closer to understanding of their bond and his need in Q.

Maybe with time, he will admit that he needs Q as much as Q needs Jean-Luc.

[celestialholz]

The Anatomy of an Outfit (aka 'holy fucking Continuum THE LOOK™)

Y'all know I haven't seen a single STP episode since 2.9. I would rather gargle with acid than go near this show ever again frankly, but, well...

... Good sweet sanctuary what the fucking hell is THIS. :O (@tennant, clearly a fellow appreciator of all things ancient god, must be thanked profusely for these glorious few shots I'm about to show off. <3)

I called this lovely, lovely man returning about ten minutes after he 'died', but I don't think any of us were expecting his outfit to slay THIS HARD when he did. And not only is it the sexiest thing my fortunate eyes have ever had the pleasure to absorb, but it also happens to be very, er... well let's be real here, it's ridiculously Qcard-coded.

Let's break it down, shall we?

We'll start with the obvious: it's maroon and black. This look appears to be a mad fusion of his Encounter at Farpoint judge robes (which is fair, we end as we begin), and his husband of forty years' captain's uniform. That piped shoulder's hugely reminding me of this, in fact:

It's the inverse! You know, the same look, flipped? Because they have perfectly distinct personalities but are also mega gay???? Costume department allies fr.

The delightfully dramatic sash Q's rocking is also interesting - it places maroon at the centre of the outfit, and is its grandest statement, which makes it an excellent example of the importance of the colour to its wearer. This is the clothing equivalent of him having mon capitaine tattooed across his essence, which... well yeah, valid. Canonical facts. It's worn across virtually his whole chest, too, because nothing says 'that's my husband' more than having him literally held against your heart.

It's a different era of captain, across two shoulders - the old teasing, and the new love.

Also, this fucking brooch.

Now, whilst I doubt they've given even John de Lancie a piece made of actual rubies for a fifteen-second scene, the stones here are very clearly meant to evoke them. And rubies are interesting for several reasons:

They're Picard's birthstone, his birthday being July 13th;

They're symbolic of power and protection. What follows is some of the interesting info I've picked up from internet gemology on rubies:

... Huh. Resolve disputes. 'Dispel anger,' when we've seen a darker Q in this series. And 'protective powers'... mm, how many times has Q saved Picard's life again? What did we get up to, six?

... 'Romantic love.' 'Devotion.' Uh-huh.

This brooch is also evocative of the Navaratna, or this thing:

The brooch itself is clearly stylised, but it features eight gems orbiting a central larger ruby (which is meant to be the sun by the way, as though this motherfucker wasn't already evocative ENOUGH of the sun here or here), and is an important cultural and religious symbol in Hinduism. What's it symbolic of, exactly?

... Oh, nothing much. Just... just this.

... Like I said, nothing much, just the whole concept of Qcard in fucking jewellery form.

The brooch's also, as the wife @porgthespacepenguin pointed out, an eight-pointed star.

... Have I mentioned yet that I fucking detest this show? Because I really fucking detest this show.

There's nine rubies on it, as well. Picard's in his nineties.

So, let's recap:

Nine of Picard's birthstone for his ninety years

Sun symbolism, AGAIN

Celestial relationships

Beyond space and time

Romance

Prosperity

Protection

Resolution

So, all that, from a brooch worn over an outfit that looks suspiciously like Picard's, which has a sash across it in Picard's colour.

... And I'm supposed to believe that Qcard isn't endgame? You're really going to gaslight me to this degree right in front of my salad, you absolute bastards????

Guys, when you inevitably wipe this shitshow of a Star Trek from your collective minds like I'm about to do, just... take this with you. Take the fact that everything about this outfit and this SHOW has said all along that Qcard is endgame, until they couldn't be arsed. Until they lost their balls for the pathetic few who might have naysayed it.

Patrick, and certainly John, deserved so much better. I'm glad that at least someone on this set understands that. (I see you, costumers. I see you, and I love you.)

Just going to... just going to stare at the absolute fine-aged wine of a man that is John de Lancie for a moment, before I lose my whole shit. He calms my soul, you see.

HIT THE SLAY KING JOHN <3

[cchipollo]

HI your qcard clip propaganda montage is amazing. best thing i’ve ever seen. here take this 🎊💐 thank you

HAHA thank you! that video’s a lot of fun :oD

originally that video made for a slideshow presentation that was also about q and picard. im glad i got to upload it again cus i fixed up the timing for some of the clips since it was driving me mad lol

[porgthespacepenguin]

hey! i want to read your fanfic No Easy Way to the Stars, but I haven’t finished tng yet(i’m on season 3). Would it be better if i watched all of tng first to understand the story better, or could it be read as a stand alone? thank you!

Hi nonny!

You're absolutely right: NEWTS is best enjoyed if you've watched all of TNG (or at the bare minimum all the Q episodes). A lot of context will be lost otherwise -- I wouldn't advise it.

Your ask got me thinking, however, so here's a handy reading guide in "chronological order" for my fics, based on how many seasons of TNG you've seen.

Up to 4.02 "Family"

The Fated Sky

Up to 4.20 "Qpid"

make a wish

Up to 7.04 "Gambit"

King Walk

All seasons of TNG

No Easy Way to the Stars

The North Star main 8 parts

the broken threads that bind us

The Picard Conjecture (this one you could read at the earliest after 6.15 Tapestry)

TNG + VOY 2.08 "Death Wish" (the episode can be watched on its own)

all that's left (is a ghost of you)

TNG + Star Trek Picard seasons 1/2

The North Star epilogue and one-shots (barking mad and the idol of discord)

we're not coincidence, we're fate

Non, rien de rien

Hope that helps. Happy reading! 🐧❤️

[supernovaa-remnant]

hrrrsghjhadsgj Star Trek Picard is actually soooo good

(uhhhh mild spoiler warning I guess)

like I finished watching season 1 last night, and I enjoyed it, but I just started season 2 and ohhhh this is exactly the type of stuff I love and the characters are fun and there's the borg and Q is back and we have Seven of Nine and I love the new characters in Picard and the time travel and alternate timelines???

also: the main characters in Picard are the most rag tag group you'll ever find in Star Trek, I swear. because usually the main characters are a bridge crew, but here you have:

Admiral Picard (has saved galaxy many many times)

ex-Borg from the Delta Quadrant (first seen in Voyager)

ex-Starfleet officer turned captain of holographic crew turned Starfleet captain again who has very 21st century vibes

conspiracy theorist who ended up being right and is now Starfleet again who is also maybe sorta dating Seven of Nine?

ex-Romulan Warrior Nun turned first fully Romulan Starfleet cadet

ex-synthetic scientist who killed her ex in a moment of alien induced madness

synthetic android who almost fulfilled a Romulan prophecy and became the destroyer but last minute decided not to (also kinda in a way born from Data)

[thegeminisage]

ok it's tng update time. im actually so behind idr when we watched what but the episodes were "the nth degree" "qpid" and "the drumhead."

the nth degree: holy shit this one sucked so bad. i hate barclay so much and it's a SUPER bad look to make him geordi's project specifically when geordi is equally as creepy in the fucking holodeck as this guy was

the only good part of this epiosde was when deanna was like, he made a pass at me. and riker looked at her SO fast and later he was like. deanna was it a successful pass. deanna. deanna please. and she just smirked at him. AND HE LOVED IT. he loved being toyed with. down to clown. that was so fun

my biggest gripe was that deanna turned him down THREE TIMES and then they eventually had the date anyway. disgusting. why do they hate her

i was gonna write a longer thing about how bad barclay's whole deal is but honestly it was ages ago, why relive it. it was bad is the point. shoulda shot him when they had the chance

qpid: i am SHOCKED to inform everyone that this episode finally brought me around to q. i didn't think it was possible because he was SO ANNOYING in every single other appearance but i think the guy playing him and patrick stewart have finally settled into a dynamic that works because it really worked for me. like suddenly it was funny instead of unfunny and embarrassing. like a switch flipped. i'm not sure what changed but it's great

the crucial element of this of course is that q wants picard to fuck him soooo bad and picard is Not gonna do it. picard Will Not fuck him. and the more picard is like i'm not gonna fuck you, you are a vile little man, the more q wants him. q is telling all his friends about him nonstop. q is drawing little hearts around his name in his diary. he is writing their names on the fog of the enterprise's windows and then sadly wiping them away. and all of this makes picard want to fuck him EVEN less which makes q want him EVEN more. it's a self-sustaining cycle and it's the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life. i don't understand people who write fanfic about them fucking. it would ruin every bit of the magic. i don't want them to fuck ever this is too perfect

sour notes: one racist worf joke. CAN WE PLEASE STOP.........we were doing so well otherwise

oh and the other sour note: ??? what is up with vash. like good for her that she will fuck q or anyone else she needs to if it gets her out of situations and even have fun doing it. but why is she like, picard how could you not tell your friends about me WHEN THEY WERE A FLING. they met on the fuck planet and they fucked and then they never expected to see each other again. why is it weird that he didn't tell everyone he fucked her? who does that? yeah thanks for asking coworker riker i went to the fuck planet and i fucked this lady named vash. let me give you the intimate details while we're on the bridge, our place of employment! ? NO

the drumhead: i think the mistake we made here was watching this one directly after ep5 of pjo. anything looks boring in comparison there you know......

i do like when picard gets good and fiery mad though. like righteously. as long as he actually does have a good reason to do this he does a GREAT job, it's some of his strongest acting. the first time i realized he actually could act was when he did this in the data courtroom episode and he does a good job in this courtroom episode i am just. tired of courtroom episodes. please. this and the holodeck. ENOUGH. i wish they had listened to gene roddenberry when he said courts don't exist in utopia

i liked worf in this episode even though they gave him the idiot ball. he's like, i would LOVE to be racist to this guy who is 1/4 romulan even though i didn't know that a second ago. wack. furthermore all he talked about was his honor in a way that reminded me of zuko. i hope he, like zuko, gets his honor back someday <3

anyway they were Saying Something in this episode about political witch hunts and you know what it reminded me of? that the cold war was Still Going when this episode aired. it was going when tos was airing and more than halfway through tng it is STILL GOING! wild.

TONIGHT: "half a life" and "the host" (i think i've heard of this one is it the gay one...nobody tell me)

[sshbpodcast]

Wake me up before you boldly go go: Dreams in Star Trek

By Ames

I’m feeling pretty tired at the moment, specifically tired of dream sequences in various media. They’re a fairly overused trope: seeing some slightly off scenes that either teach our protagonists something they need to know or just toy with the audience to make them believe something is real. Until the characters wake up. Even Star Trek, a show allegedly bounded by science, falls victim to the lazy writing and overused device of the dream episode.

That’s not to say there aren’t some good dream episodes out there, and even in here. So this week A Star to Steer Her By is analyzing some dreams, some nightmares, anything that we might find in the subconscious and wonder if it means anything (even if it’s just to the plot). So get tucked in, snuggle up with Kukalaka, and drift out of consciousness below and/or on this week’s podcast episode (discussion starts at 1:15:29). Let’s see if all of this was just a dream.

Somehow, we couldn’t think of any episodes from The Original Series or The Animated Series that had dream sequences, which is a little funny since you’d think the campier and arguably less cerebral shows would have some true nightmares. But we’re starting off with a whole slew of episodes from The Next Generation instead.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Shades of Grey”

Coma dreams are their own subsection of dream episodes, but definitely worth including in our list because they present some interesting examples of storytelling and structure. And then there’s “Shades of Grey.” As far as clipshows go, it’s got an okay wrapper in the form of some Riker dream manipulation, but it has too much going against it to be any good overall.

“Night Terrors”

Mention episodes that aren’t any good and “Night Terrors” will arise from your subconscious. As far as dream plots go, it’s actually got a decent concept in depriving everyone but Troi of REM sleep, so there are some really surreal (if disjointed) scenes, but watching what they put Marina Sirtis through proved to be the real nightmare.

“Violations”

This one’s probably in that grey area between visions and coma dreams, but worth mentioning just to bring up what a messed up thing that bastard Jev does to people – putting skewed, traumatic memories in their heads that leaves them in comas. Like in “Night Terrors,” it’s got some really upsetting scenework and direction that leaves you feeling appropriately disturbed.

“The Inner Light”

One of the best episodes of all of Star Trek is effectively a coma dream that Picard has in which he lives the life of Kamin in the twenty or so minutes that he’s knocked out by the Kataan probe. Talk about great use of the dream structure! We don’t need to deal with surreal nonsense because of the programming, and the effects on Jean-Luc are personal and emotional.

“Tapestry” 

This one is debatable based on your interpretation. On the podcast, Jake likes to spread the possibility that none of this episode happened at all and it was all a dream Picard had while on Dr. Crusher’s surgical table. Which is an interesting way to think about this genuinely thought-provoking episode, although we enjoy the other view that Q’s behind it all as well.

“Birthright”

After a certain visiting doctor zaps him in the face, Data is able to unlock his dreaming program that daddy Soong had left for him as a little present. And it’s all pretty on-the-nose kinda stuff that dream episodes can be guilty of. Every little action is meaningful in some way that is just utterly unrealistic, but Data’s also an android, so realism may already be out of the question.

“Frame of Mind”

I’d say “Frame of Mind” might be our first real example of a good traditional dream episode. It’s not just a story told in a dream or a technique for the writers to convey something without stating it. This Riker mind adventure is meant to be a disorienting experience specifically because it’s all in his head. There was method to this madness and it paid off in spades!

“Phantasms”

This infamous episode is the reason why I wanted to do this post. “Phantasms” commits pretty much every sin a dream sequence can commit: it mainly uses characters from the episode in absurd roles, the dream makes too much sense in world because everything in it correlates to something from real life, and its randomness and surrealness just come across as a formulaic writing device. With mint frosting.

“Dark Page”

Literally on the heels of “Phantasms” is what I’d call a more interesting and effective use of the dream, in this case the coma dream that Deanna visits inside Lwaxana’s head. The symbolism isn’t as overt and at the same time there’s more emotional connection with the scenelettes. I also give it a pass because Betazoid mind powers help this one from feeling too heavy handed.

First Contact

Somehow, we don’t see a guilt-driven dream sequence in Star Trek until First Contact, and it’s just a pretty typical but effective little scene to inform the audience of Picard’s mindset and a little bit of backstory that you might need to understand the movie. Is it the most original way to convey this information? No, but it’s not a terrible offense either and it does its job well.

“Distant Voices”

One of our least favorite episodes of all of Deep Space Nine was all just a ridiculous coma dream in Bashir’s head. If this one isn’t the worst dream episode of Trek, I don’t know what is. Like “Phantasms,” it’s got every element of the dream symbolizing something and some very tiring tropey motifs. And I haven’t even gotten to the confounding acting decisions!

“Hard Time”

While Picard got to experience a life’s worth of touching memories in “The Inner Light,” O’Brien gets to experience a life’s worth of suffering in “Hard Time.” It may have only been a couple of hours in real time, but the dream that he sustains has huge impacts on his character and makes for a really thought-provoking and riveting episode.

“Body Parts”

When he’s destined to die to relinquish his desiccated remains to Brunt, Quark at one point has one of those trauma dreams that is a writer’s shorthand for “this is what my character is preoccupied with!” In this case, he dreams of the first Nagus Gint advising him to break the contract because someone needed to propel the plot forward, I guess.

“Business as Usual” 

If “Body Parts” was a little obvious, then the dream in “Business as Usual” is downright heavy handed. Quark is feeling guilty about selling weapons on the black market, and if you weren’t sure he had a conscience, this dream sequence underlines it for you. Normally, I’d poopoo a scene like this, but O’Brien yelling “You killed my baby!” really sells it.

“Far Beyond the Stars” 

Coma dream or prophet vision? I don’t feel like arguing for the Benny Russell  story coming from some supernatural meddling versus from Sisko’s dreams, and it’s such a good episode that it’s worth bringing up anyway. And if we’re counting external meddling like in “The Inner Light” and “Hard Time,” then who am I not to include another really great episode that’s all in your head?

“Extreme Measures”

Similarly, I guess if I include “Dark Page” and “Distant Voices,” then I have to include “Extreme Measures,” though in a perfect world, I wouldn’t give it the satisfaction because it’s a really upsetting and invasive episode that turns Bashir into some kind of brain-robbing monster. And frankly, the inside of Sloan’s mind didn’t even end up being all that interesting!

“Jetrel”

Update 1/28/24: Oh no, we forgot one (or two, or probably more because dammit)! And it’s yet another of our favorite “this character is feeling conflicted about X” plot devices because writers think the audience is incapable of picking up on subtext! This time, Neelix’s history is dredged back up when Jetrel, the creator of the Metreon Cascade” pops by, and for some reason we need to see that Neelix is still having survivor’s guilt through traumatic dream vision.

“The Thaw”

Lotta coma dreams on this list so far, and our first taste from Voyager is the stuff of nightmares, literally. Fear the Clown takes what should be a paradisiacal shared dream for our friends in their cryopods and turns it into a horror movie and you could wake up dead. This one gets points for creativity, and points off for giving us all coulrophobia.

“Remember”

We really liked this one when we covered it in season three, even if it’s some more familiar ground. Reliving another culture through implanted dreams? Sure, it’s yet another instance where we can make parallels to something like “The Inner Light,” but it’s forgivable since this episode is so successful at communicating the Enarans’ story in Torres’s dreams.

“Coda”

I’d probably qualify whatever is going on with Janeway throughout this episode as something like the coma dreams we’ve discussed previously. It’s all alien interference, as happens sometimes, and winds up being like one of those episodes that pulls back the curtain and tricks you because it was fake all along, leaving the viewer ultimately unsatisfied.

“Waking Moments”

More alien intervention, this time into a world where the new species lives and communicates through dreams. Suspend your disbelief for a moment and accept that, difficult as it may be, and we actually do get some pretty original and believable dream sequences. The ones we see don’t try to go too far and mainly seem kinda right for the characters, so this one passes.

“The Fight”

But this one just fails utterly. We discussed in our recent season wrap episode how “The Fight” just seems like a chaotic mess and yet at the same time doesn’t capitalize on the Chaotic Space aliens in a way that is fulfilling. So we’re left with dream sequences that end up just feeling tired and confusing and maybe a little bit boring. Someone bet on the wrong fighter in this ring.

“One” 

While most of what Seven experiences in “One” is all delusion and hallucination, she does have a legitimate dream of being in an Arctic wasteland at one point. And sure, it’s there to convey that she’s feeling alone and desolate and way out of her depth like a pretty standard dream metaphor, but the little sequence does its job. The CGI on the other hand…

“Barge of the Dead”

Like with “Coda,” I’d qualify all of this episode as a coma dream, though instead of being induced by aliens, we’re led to believe that all of this is just some Klingon afterlife nonsense. Setting aside that everyone assumes Gre’thor is real now, the dreams we get of Torres’s personal hell – just people on the Voyager? – are half baked and entirely out of character.

“Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy”

These are more daydreams than subconscious dreams, though the EMH’s program does get out of hand enough that I’d count this episode among the others in this post. The scenes we get are mostly meant to be comic relief so we can giggle at the EMH’s grandiose fantasies, except that some of them are fairly cringey, as usual at Seven’s expense.

“Memorial”

Memory or dream? That’s the question this episode poses in creating an actually pretty intriguing look at how and why we remember history. The dream sequences we get from Paris and Chakotay are very effective at blurring that line between the real and the surreal, and the more we understand that these were real events, the more we treat them with significance.

“Ashes to Ashes”

Update 1/28/24: Whoops, another I’d forgotten until we continued our Voyager watchthrough. It’s a small one, but Lyndsay Ballard’s dream sequence when she returns from the dead and back to the Voyager crew fit the old “show the audience the character is feeling conflicted” trope. She guilt-dreams that her friends are throwing her another funeral because she’s not acclimating back to life as a human. The scene does what it’s made to; it’s just entirely redundant.

“Shuttlepod One”

Let’s move on to Enterprise, starting with a pretty mean trick that dream sequences can do to an audience: manipulating you for a couple minutes into thinking that our heroes have been rescued and everything’s okay, until the rug gets pulled out from under you and it was all just a dream. The scene also leans on another trend we’ll see in Enterprise – objectifying T’Pol all the damn time.

“Fusion”

But the winner of the “objectifying T’Pol all the damn time” award is very obviously “Fusion.” Boy, what an upsetting episode. If you thought it was gross what Jev did to Troi and the others in “Violations,” then “Fusion” should have you gagging, and it all starts with a super gross dream sequence in which Tolaris creeps on T’Pol, and things get ickier from there.

“A Night in Sickbay”

Update 1/28/24: How could we forget yet another time that one of the characters had a wetdream about T’Pol? This time, it’s Archer because Phlox has put it in the cap’n’s head that he’s actually in love with the subcommander like a creep. The nightmare sequence also features another guilt-ridden message (a dream staple!) in which Archer is feeling so bad Porthos is sick that he dreams up a puppy funeral. Ugh.

“Vanishing Point”

Just when you think you’ve watched an interesting transporter accident episode that actually gives Hoshi something to do, this episode laughs in your face and pulls the “it was a dream the whole time” trick on you. The whole thing comes across as just kind of cruel and cop-out-y, though I’m kinda shocked there aren’t many other Trek episodes that consciously pull this stunt.

“Choose Your Pain”

Updated 12/12/24: If you’ve read this far, look! I added this Discovery episode I forgot about! And it’s our most heavy-handed example in a little while. It’s yet another “this character is feeling guilty and we need to show the audience how guilty they feel” example. I am so tired of this trope that I could scream... almost as much as Burnham does in her dream when she takes the place of the tortured tardigrade!

“Remembrance” 

Say what you will about Picard season one (and we did!), but the dream sequences of Jean-Luc obsessing over the loss of Data are very effective at eliciting an emotional response. They’re just strange enough to provide that surreal quality of dreams but not just tedious nonsense like other episodes have given us. And the scenes are just so touching that it’s hard to fault them.

“The Impossible Box”

Okay, last one I could find. Soji has these recurring trauma-fueled dreams and she can’t tell if it’s a dream or a memory. This whole episode is an identity crisis waiting to happen, and when she sees herself as a wooden puppet being constructed, it all comes together that she isn’t a real girl, and you know what, it’s both one of the better uses of dreams and one of the better moments in Picard!

—

Wake up! You’re going to be late for school and you didn’t study for that test and you’re naked and your teeth are falling out and Troi’s a cake and won’t somebody answer the phone?! 

Put a pot of coffee on and stay with us for more dreamy blogposts. You can also share that caffeinated brew with our fearless Voyager captain as we continue through our full watchthrough on SoundCloud or wherever you listen to podcasts, respond to our wake up call on Facebook and Twitter, and have pleasant dreams!

[punalippulaiva]

So, I've finally been getting around to watching the second season of the Star Trek: Picard. After the first four episodes I was thinkinf of writing here how much I've enjoyed the series so far. The crew really working splendidly on their own, blessedly little Q, an openly political message...

Then I got to episode five and not only they bring back fucking Brent Spiner as yet another whatever Soong mad scientist, they load the episode with Q too. The season had so much promise, the first episodes had maybe too many little haha nods to older Trek but it worked. And then they just had to make it into another "oh look who we're bringing back now" fuckfest.

If I never see Brent Spinet in Star Trek again, it will be too soon.

[landfilloftrash]

ooooo I’ve been meaning to do this silly one for awhile hehehe— incorrect quote that lives partially rent free by @fishteatrash

[yourbuerokrat2]

@thymelessink

TNG!Q meeting a much older Picard does have such a potential for Q to be so very frustrated because it shows that he failed to convince PIcard to just come with him, to just accept any of Qs offers. It shows Q how after all this times (not all that much time for a Q but for a human) Picard still clings to his mortality and doesn't want what Q wants to give them. Even though in Qs opinion what Q is offering is in the end only something that would greatly benefit both of them.

Meanwhile old!Q goes back in time (I think it would be interesting here if we ignore a bit of St: Picard I mean here old!Q obviously is not going mad nor dying from some weird unnamed illness and think about just how old old!Q might be. Maybe in an AU of this setting he is a version of Q that had once accepted Picards mortalit but misses him so much that he begs the Continuum to be able to mess with the timelines just one more time in favour of one human, barely a dent to the timeline at all and he will never bother them again once he has 'him'. And so one an imagine this older Qs happiness at seeingnot only Picard but a Picard who still has a few centuries on him and since this Q is so much more mature an clearly more open towards Picard, if a bit desperate, he does mange to get closer to TNG! than TNG!Q).

And then there is Picard. Old!Picard with the way he has his hands folded and looks at Q seems to have fully listened and argued with Q. Although he seems a bit tired about them having this same old argument for years now. TNG!Picard on the other hand is a bit more surprised, well he was still drinking his tea and maybe he and old!Q talked about some other topic with Q thinking that if he started talking about places he had been to and then inviting Picard to some/all of them he might have a chance.

What I can see however in both Picards eyes, correct me eif I am wrong, then it's that Picard can see that what Q asks of him, what Q wants is not to simply have Picard as a companion for one or a couple of trips. He wants Picard for all of them, as old!Q puts he wants to show him literally everything. And PIcards answer, at least right in these instances is a clear 'I am sorry but I can't promise you forever, Q. I can't give you what you want.'

And then there is a young/well before TNG!Q and a Continuum who are probably confused and like 'you.. you can literally just change Picards opinion. With not even a snap of your fingers and he will literally forget whatever stilly reasons are preventing him from doing what is the best for you two/the two of us'

Q is tired of trying to convince Picard.

And he still doesn't give up.

[littlewalken]

Sep 18

I hope to hell the extras and blooper reel of Picard season 1 are worth it. And I hope it gets better in season 2 because so far it's like fan fiction but like here's the list of all my friends I have to insert and all the ideas they want and if I don't give enough shout outs people will be mad and I don't want to hurt their feelings ~whatever noise the kids are making these days~

Really, it could have been rearranged to be more episodic with tighter pacing and. The android storyline could have faintly over-arched but 3 episodes at most- set up, rescue, stuff on the planet. Even with the Romulan parts but not the bearded guy just the other part.

Then Seven, pilot woman, Romulan Lord of the Rings, Hugh, each could have got a solid episode I could have skipped over.

Seriously, Checkov's Cast ex Machina, every supporting cast member is only there for a specific purpose to drive a specific plot point forward or resolve something, fortune cookies or Agnes Nutter's book could have done the same. Q could have left post-its. Bruce Maddox could have left a scavenger hunt behind.

~something I want to yell at 'it's so aesthetically cute mood boards and videos' people about~

I can't tell any more if it's sinus allergies or what.

Trying to pull together a story where Data is sent undercover to do something that the average human would have to spend years training to do and he stands out because while he can physically do it he lacks the emotional drive and others trying to help him with that becomes a plot point and they just think he has autism.

Trying to pull my brain together to do just about anything but PMS says no. I'm pointing a broom at it telling it to get on with things and don't pull menopause bullshit with me but this is a great time for that so of course it will.

Did a bit or arting yesterday and not finishing and throwing that away which is an important part of arting.

[yourbuerokrat2]

@pepperchipper

The great thing about using this song is that Picard has probably called Q irresponsible and thinks him to be unrealiable, undependable and more than a bit mad.

'Do my foolish alibies bother you'? With the mariachi scene is funny. Because yes, Q, they do bother Picard.

'I just adore you with that smile and the thrown kisses that were very obviously meant solely for Picard. Meanwhile Picard is not at all impressed.

'Tell me I am impractical' and it's the scene where Q kidnaps Picard in a shuttle somewhere in the middle of space and instead of just telling PIcard why he is doing this he just throws a ball against a wall till Picard gives in.

'Rainbows I am inclined to pursue' not sure if choosing these two scenes were meant to represent that but Q walking directly into a wall he cannot see and then the scene after Picards death afterwards could be seen as Q wanting to spend 'some time' with Picard is the rainbow he is trying to pursue but he is walking against the wall.

the first 'irresponsibly mad for you' followed by a few scenes where Q is clearly invading Picards privacy one way or another is very fitting.

'unpredictable' with a smiling judge!Q is also fitting.

The second 'rainbows I am inclined to pursue' and it's Q smiling and getting into Picards bed followed by Picards reaction to Q pursuing him is funny.

And I just really love the editing at the end.

'It's undeniably true' and it goes to show the way Q smiles at him and the way Q hurriedly stands up to stand in Picards way only for the drawn out 'mad' to show the drawn out 'cleaning service' Q provided for PIcard (even though even PIcard knew that Q did not need to touch him like this if he wanted to clean Picards uniform.) is great. To have 'for' and the bouquet of roses and babybreaths (there is a really long analysis post on here about this basically a confession of eternal love and more fitting to a wedding) is also a nice touch.

The snippets that are together in 'you' is exactly how I picture Picard finding out that Q is mad for him/romantically bsessed with him would go. From the way Picard is still and the face he pulls in that bed scene to Q not being pleased that he is not getting the reaction he wants fromPIcard (maybe even calling Picards silence/discomfort heartless or make a reference to his mechanical heart) and then leaving before Picard can even say anything.

And Picard is just left to stand in his quarters with the knowledge of just what exactly the nature of Qs interest in him is and what it could mean for the future , perhaps not even knowing how to feel about this and what he is going to say to Q the next time they meet.

They will meet again after all, probably sooner than later.

Picard: I always knew that you were mad but that you are mad over me is new to me.

We've finally made it! inspiration provider @ivaavna

[porgthespacepenguin]

Q's Top 10 Outfits, Ranked

Please note that this ranking is completely objective and based on peer-reviewed, impeccably researched scientific facts.

10. TNG: The Bajoran Monstrosity

You know, before researching this post, I sincerely thought the Beige Jumpsuit was the worst outfit TPTB inflicted on poor Q over the years.

I was, unfortunately, wrong. Behold:

It looks like someone murdered a Marriott carpet and decided to call it clothing. To make matters worse, Q apparently chose that one himself (thanks @celestialwarzone for pointing it out!), so I must assume he was trying to punish us. Or something.

the earring is pretty cute though

Hotness: -273 degrees Kelvin

Overall: Oh god why/10

9. TNG: The Admiral Uniform

Okay, I know early TNG didn't have a very large budget but what the hell was this even?

Come on, TNG, you can tell us now, it's been 30 years. Someone just grabbed some Christmas tinsel that was lying around, slapped it on a jumpsuit uniform, and called it a day. Right?

Hotness: Tepid

Overall: 1/10

8. DS9: The DS9 Captain's Uniform

@celestialwarzone and are in agreement that the DS9 uniforms are the prettiest of the bunch. Q looks fine in this.

I guess sexiness was probably not at the top of Starfleet's list when they designed their new uniforms. Drat.

Hotness: Warming up

Overall: 5/10

7. TNG: Dr Q, I Presume?

After endless jumpsuits, we finally catch a glimpse of ankle, so to speak. Look, much as I enjoy the sight of JDL in shorts, it's not so much the outfit as the pose that does it for me.

q you little slut

Hotness: It's hot in the jungle

Overall: 6/10

6. STP: "Local Aging Homosexual on A Golf Course"

(copyright @celestialwarzone)

Not my favorite STP look by a long shot, but compared to early seasons there is a definite sense of style here. The mission patch is adorably nerdy and Q is a total silver fox.

Hotness: Getting hot

Overall: 6/10

5. STP: The Sigmund

Okay, I don't know what it says about me that I find Q's therapist look unreasonably sexy. Is it the glasses? Is it the waistcoat? The sheer inappropriateness?

I don't know and I don't care.

(It's definitely not the German accent because it offends my Swiss ears, but it's better than TNG's so whatever.)

Hotness: Uncomfortably hot

Overall: 7/10

4. TNG: The Birthday Suit

Well, it's not so much an outfit as it is a lack of one, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it. JDL's got mad big dick energy in this scene, and it shows.

Hotness: Hot

Overall: 8/10

3. STP: The Drama Queen Suit

Apparently, nobody wears colors anymore in the 23rd century, a fact I generally find irritating (why are you all dressed in black? Has fun died and are we attending its funeral?). However, when it comes to Q's outfits this season, I can't stay mad for long.

Where to begin: the exquisite tailoring, the beautiful silver lattice on his back, the improbable brooch. I love it.

Hotness: Burning

Overall: 9/10

2. TNG: The Red Judge

Frankly, nobody except JDL could have pulled this one off. But pull it off he did, and this outfit has practically become Q's signature look, at least in TNG.

It's red, it's black, it's camp. And it's utterly iconic.

Hotness: Flaming

Overall: 10/10

1. STP: The Black Suit of Naughtiness

After the last entry, it will come as no surprise that Q's best outfit comes from Star Trek: Picard once again.

Yes, the judge outfit was bolder, and arguably sexier, but there is something about the all-black understated aesthetic that is just.

Perfection.

Plus you can totally tell he's up to no good. Which he isn't. Or is he?

Either way he's going look fantastic.

Hotness: Romulan supernova

Overall: 11/10