#her: and then Luo Binghe comes out of the abyss and takes Shen Qingqiu away--

[uovoc]

Passing the time spent waiting for boat by making cousin recount to me, beat by beat, the plot of books 2-4 of Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

[sunderwight]

SV AU where the System does offer Shen Qingqiu one way out of pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss:

Since SQQ is now the POV character of his own story, he can accept a special one time purchase of the protagonist halo, and go down and do the Abyss plotline himself instead.

The catch is that there's only one protagonist halo. No dual protagonists allowed. Which means that if Shen Qingqiu takes it, Luo Binghe loses his immunity to fatal plot developments, unless SQQ can replace it with another immunity halo.

The only other halo that grants immunity from fatal catastrophes in PIDW is the love interest halo.

Luckily, love interest halos are extremely plentiful in the setting. It seems even Shen Qingqiu himself has one in his inventory for some reason? Weird, but at least that means he doesn't have to rob some poor girl of her golden ticket and potential happily-ever-after in Binghe's arms.

There's probably something especially bizarre about making Luo Binghe his own love interest for a while, but Shen Qingqiu reasons that it's only temporary. He'll swap the halos back once he's out of the Abyss! And he'll get Xin Mo and bring it back, and personally help Luo Binghe figure out how to wield it. Preferably with far fewer costs and downsides than in canon. Maybe then Binghe won't need as big of a harem and will still have some time to spend with his old master, when he's not running around conquering the world.

Surely, there's not way all of this could backfire. (Okay, he knows there are like a million ways it could backfire.) But definitely, Shen Qingqiu will get back, be in his right mind, NOT be suffering any grave imbalances due to Xin Mo, NOT have unlocked any secret demonic heritage that helps him survive but also gets him blood up, and NOT need to or want to have life-saving rescue sex with anyone holding any love interest halos after five years of struggling his way through a nightmare training gauntlet.

Of all the ways he imagined fucking this up, having to somehow play the part of the darkened hero flinging himself towards and away from his own student like said student is some demure maiden at risk of losing his virtue to him was not on the list!

Shen Qingqiu: Binghe, stay away! This master can't control himself properly right now!

Luo Binghe: but Shizun's already been gone for so long! Won't he come a little closer instead?

Shen Qingqiu: Binghe wouldn't ask that if he knew what this master might do to him!

Luo Binghe: Shizun can do whatever he wants to me! I don't mind!

Shen Qingqiu: my poor Binghe, this world has not shown you enough darkness, you don't realize what's going on!

Luo Binghe: so does Shizun want to top, or...?

[roseunspindle]

Shen Qingqiu's harem (Binghe did his best!)

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu manage to communicate better (by accident) (Shen Qingqiu may have been drugged (Zhuzhi-lang? Hualing? random wife plot that got way ahead of itself?) and so started crying when he saw his precious student again and kept squishing his "cute little face" asking him to not kill him because he didn't want to push him into the abyss but the system said he'd die which he should have for his sweet little bun but he knew Binghe would live....) Binghe is overjoyed that Shizun doesn't hate him and figures details are unimportant (and confusing).

Shen Qingqiu does take a bit to come around to the "Binghe wants me bad and I kinda want him back."

At some point Binghe has been approached by various demons and cultivators who want him to make a harem. Binghe is like "how dare, Shizun is enough for me"... but the cogs in his fluffy head start turning.

Shizun is amazing and perfect and has gone through so much! He deserves to be adored and worshipped!

(Also if he makes his Shizun a proper harem then that makes him the first husband and head of the harem so take that Liu Qingge)

Binghe starts with Liu Qingge and Mu Qingfang, both would be advantageous (and loyal) matches for his A-yuan.

He does not ask Yue Qingyuan at first...but after the poor man kept wafting about the Bamboo Cottage after hearing of Luo Binghe's plans, Binghe approaches and explains briefly about Shen Yuan and that he was not Shen Jiu.

(Yue Qingyuan wants to hate himself...for agreeing. For accepting even this, for all he knows, knows this man is not Shen Jiu...) (yet he is so dear, those eyes unburdened by things past...

Liu Qingge wonders if he's always going to be one breath away from a qi deviation now. First that wretched beast fights him, then informs him that due to his loss he will now become Shen Qingqiu's husband/concubine... that accounts for two but the rest...well...he not only has the thought of actually being in contact/touching Shen Qingqiu (so many near qi deviations) but then he'll actually...they'll he'll see. He'll there will be...touching....

Mu Qingfang is aware that Luo Binghe just wants him...closer to Shen Qingqiu. He's honestly willing though and well...if the Peak Lord of Qing Jing peak is going to keep coming up with new peril...having a closer relationship is only advantageous. (Nothing at all to do with long dark hair or playful eyes...oh no.)

Gongyi Xiao give's Binghe the equivalent of an apllication. The former/current first disiciple of Huan Hua Palace has become a tad jaded towards his sect. He does not resent being supplanted, Luo Binghe is superior to him that is simple, but Little Palace Mistress...her behavior, her abrupt switch from hanging on his arm and spending time in his company to Luo Binghe's...the truths of Luo Binghe's mother and father and how the Old Palace Master treated them... Being so easily replaced hurts. Not in exact positions but in affections. Also that one he had honored long could act so dishonoroably... Senior Shen is always a breath of fresh air when he meets him, the man's mourning his disciple...his open declaration of his wrong to said disciple... his manor of conduct (when not drugged out of his mind) Gongyi Xiao feels that whereever Senior Shen places his regard an affection, there it will stay. Perhaps he must share...but he will never be replaced.

Zhuzhi Lang can barely breathe over how happy he is. To be offered the opportunity to honor and appreciate Master Shen as he should be! To apporach him honeslty!

Tianlang-Jun remains miffed his son doesn't invite him. What could be more bonding than being co-concubines?

Mobei-Jun almost says no. He is not interested in sharing. Yet...he is not doing well in getting Shang Qingghua to understand his advances

Airplane can only squeak in shock but finds himself agreeing. (look, his king already said yes...and cucumber-bro really works that immortal cultivator thing)

Sha Hualing ends up the first female in it by sheer force of throwing a tempertantrum that she hadn't been invited and wailing at Shen Qingqiu that she had awesome tits! That he'd seen! (She's also pleased that besides Binghe she's the first one personally invited by him and ignores that she forced/brow beat her way in...)

Bing-ge shows up and finds himself absorbed into a harem. He... finds himself a bit more understanding of his numerous wives complaints. Who knows if he stays or heads off to find his own personal shen yuan...

[tcfactory]

Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

[janecrockeyre]

scum villain is a greek tragedy disguised as a regular tragedy disguised as a comedy disguised as a danmei

this is going to be long, and this is only PART ONE.

a.k.a, Analysing the plot of Scum Villain’s Self Saving System through Aristotle’s Poetics, because I Have Mental Issues

Part One: Introduction and the Tragic Hero

Scum Villain’s Self Saving System is a tragedy disguised as a comedy, unless you’re Shen Yuan, in which case it’s a mixture of a romance and a survival horror. It's a fever dream. It's a horrible, terrible book that made me feel new undiscovered emotions when I finished reading it. 

The thing is... SVSSS shares characteristics with some of the most famous tragedies in the West, such as Oedipus Rex, Medea, Antigone, the Oresteia... if you haven’t read these, I’ll explain everything. But the gist of my argument is this: SVSSS is the perfect tragedy. In triplicate. 

Tragedy as a genre is old as balls and so it has meant slightly different things to different people over the last few thousand years. I'll be focusing on ancient Greek tragedy, which was performed at the yearly Festival of Dionysus in Athens during the 500-350s BC (give or take a hundred years). Aristotle, when writing about this very specific subset of tragedy, had no idea that one day Scum Villain would be written, and then that I would be using his work as a way to look at Shen Qingqiu’s Funky Transmigration Mistake. Anyway!

Greek tragedy greatly influenced European dramatic tradition. I have a lot of opinions about white academics idolising and upholding the classics as the "paragon of culture" but I'll withhold them for now. I have no idea if MXTX has read Greek tragedy or not, so don't take this as me saying they are writing it. 

In my opinion, tragedy is a universal human constant. We are surrounded by pain and hurt and none of it makes any sense, so we seek to process that pain through drama, art, literature, etc. We want to understand why pain happens, and how it happens, and try to make sense of the senseless. The universe is cold and cruel and random. Tragedy eases some of that pain. 

On that note: Just because I am analysing Scum Villain through a Greek lens doesn't mean that it was written that way. I'm pasting an interpretation onto the book when there's probably a very rich and deep history of Chinese tragedy that I just don't know about. If you ever want to talk about that, please, god, hit me up, I would love to learn about it!! 

Anyway, tragedy. MXTX is excellent at it! Mo Dao Zu Shi? Painful dynastic family tragedy. Heaven Official's Blessing? Mostly romance, but she managed to get that pure pain in there, huh? 

But in my opinion, Scum Villain holds the crown for the most tragic of her stories. MDZS was more of a mystery. TGCF was more of a romance. Neither of them shy away from their tragic elements. 

Scum Villain would fit right in between the work of Sophocles, Euripides and Aeschylus. How? Let me show you. Join me on my mystery tour into the world of "Aristotle Analyses Danmei..."

Part One: The Tragic Hero

What is a tragic hero? Generally, Greek tragic heroes are united by the same key characteristics. He must be imperfect, having a "fatal flaw" of some kind. He must have something to lose. And he must go from fortune to misfortune thanks to that fatal flaw. 

There are two (technically three) tragic protagonists in SVSSS and all of them are tragic in different but formulaic ways. Each protagonist has their own version of “hamartia” or a “fatal flaw”. 

Actually, hamartia isn’t necessarily a flaw - rather, it is a thing which makes the audience pity and fear for them, a careful imperfection, a point of weakness in the character’s morality or reasoning that allows for bad things to happen to them. For example, in Oedipus Rex, the king Oedipus has a “fatal flaw” of always wanting to find the truth, but this isn’t exactly a flaw, right? Note: this flaw can be completely unwitting, as we see with Shen Yuan. It can also be something that the protagonist is born with, some kind of trait from birth or very young. 

Shen Yuan

Shen Yuan’s “hamartia” is his rigid adherence to fate and his inability to read a situation as anything but how he thinks it ought to be. He believes that Bingmei will grow into Bingge, and it takes several years, two deaths, and some truly traumatising sex to convince him otherwise. 

Shen Jiu

Shen Jiu’s fatal flaw is his cruelty. It is his own sadistic treatment and abuse of Binghe which directly leads to his eventual dismemberment. This is kind of a no-brainer. Of course, it isn't all that simple, and as an audience we pity him for his cruelty as much as we fear it because we know it comes from his own abuse as a child. This just makes him even more tragic. Delicious. 

Luo Binghe

Luo Binghe’s fatal flaw is a complicated mix of things. It is his position as the “protagonist” which compels him to act in certain ways and be forced to suffer. It is his half-demonic heritage, something entirely out of his control, which sets in motion his tragic reversal of fortune when he gets yeeted into the Abyss. He also, much like Shen Yuan, has the propensity to jump to conclusions and somehow make 2 + 2 = 5. 

As well as having their respective “flaws”, all three protagonists match the rough outline of a good tragic hero in another way: they are in a position of great wealth and power. Even when you split the different characters into different “versions”, this still holds true. Yes, Luo Binghe is raised a commoner by a washerwoman foster mother, but his dad is an emperor and he also ends up becoming an emperor himself. 

Yes, Shen Jiu is an ex-slave and a victim of abuse himself, but Shen Qingqiu is a powerful peak lord with an entire mountain’s worth of resources at his back. 

Shen Yuan is a second generation new money rich kid. 

Bingge is a stereotypical protagonist with a golden finger. Bingmei is a treasured and loved disciple with a good reputation and a privileged seat by his shizun’s side. 

In a tragedy, having this kind of good fortune at the beginning of your story is dangerous. Chaucer says that tragedy is (badly translated into modern english) “a certain story / of him that stood in great prosperity / and falls out of high degree / into misery, and ends up wretchedly”. If we follow this line of thinking, a good tragedy is about someone who has a lot to lose, losing everything because of one fatal point of weakness that they fail to address or understand. 

If we look at Shakespeare, this is what makes King Lear such a fantastic tragic protagonist. He is a king in control of most of England, who from his own lack of wisdom and excess of pride, decides to split his kingdom apart to give to his daughters, favouring his murderous, double crossing progeny, and condemning his only actually filial daughter to death. He loses his kingdom, his mind, and his beloved daughter, all because of his own stupidity.

This brings us to:

Part Two: Peripeteia

This reversal of fortunes is called peripeteia. It is the moment where the entire plot shifts, and the hero’s fortunes go from good to bad. Think of it like one of those magic eye puzzles, where you stare at the image until a 3D shark appears, except you realise the shark was always there, you just couldn't ever see it, waiting for you, hungry, deadly, always lurking just behind that delightful pattern of random blue squiggles. 

Each tragic hero has their own moment of peripeteia in SVSSS, sometimes several:

Shen Qingqiu

In the original PIDW, SQQ’s peripeteia presumably occurs when he finds out that Bingge didn’t perish in the Abyss but has actually been training hard to come and pay him back. There’s really not much I’m interested in saying here - as a villain, OG!SQQ is cut and dry, and the audience doesn’t really feel any pity or fear for him. As Shen Yuan often mentions, what the audience feels when they see OG!SQQ is bloodlust and sick satisfaction. There is also the trial at Huan Hua Palace, which I will talk about in Shen Yuan’s section. 

Shen Yuan (SQQ 2.0)

One of SY’s most poggers moment of peripeteia is the glorious, terrifying section between hearing Binghe for the first time after the Abyss moment, and getting shoved into the Water Prison. 

“Behind him, a low and soft voice came: “Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu’s neck felt stiff as he slowly turned his head. Luo Binghe’s face was the most frightening thing he had ever seen.

The scariest thing about it was that the expression on his face was not cold at all. His smile wasn’t sharp like a knife. Rather, it showed a kind of bone-deep gentleness and amiability.”

This is the moment of true horror for Shen Yuan, because he knows what happens next: the plot unfurls before him, inevitable and painful, and he knows that death awaits him at Luo Binghe's hands (lol). Compare it with the bone deep certainty with which he faces his own downfall during the sham of a trial later in the chapter (I’ve bolded the important part):

“In the original work, Qiu Haitang’s appearance signified only one thing: Shen Qingqiu’s complete fall from grace. [...] Shen Qingqiu’s heart streamed with tears. Great Master… I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’ll actually suffer if she speaks her words clearly. This truly is the saying “not frightened of doing a shameful deed, just afraid the ghost (consequences) will come knocking”!”

After the peripeteia is usually the denouement where the plot wraps up and the threads are all tied together leaving no loose ends, but because this tragedy isn’t Shen Yuan’s but the former Shen Jiu’s, it’s impossible to finish. 

Shen Yuan cannot provide the meaningful answers that the narrative demands because 1) he doesn’t have any memory of doing anything, and 2) he wasn’t the person who did them. Narratively, he cannot follow the same path as the former SQQ because he lacks the same fatal flaw: cruelty. 

This is why Binghe doesn’t kill him - because he loves him, rather than despises him. And this is why Shen Yuan has to sacrifice himself and die for Luo Binghe in order to save him from Xin Mo: because the narrative demands that denouement follows peripeteia, and SQQ’s fate is in the hands of the narrative. 

(Side note: I believe that this literal death also represents the death of OG!SQQ's tragic arc. The body that committed all those crimes must die to satisfy the narrative. SQQ must die, like burning down a forest, so that new growth can sprout from the ashes. After this, Shen Yuan's story has more room to develop instead.)

It must happen to show Bingmei that SQQ loves him too. And this brings us to Bingmei.

Bingmei

Bingmei has two succinct moments of utter downfall. The first is a literal fall - his flaw, his demonic heritage, leads his beloved shizun to throw him down into the Abyss. From his point of view, SQQ is punishing him simply for the status of his birth. He rapidly goes from being loved and cherished unconditionally, to being the victim of an assassination attempt. 

He realises that he is totally unlovable: that for the crimes of his species that he never had a hand in, he must pay the price as well: that his shizun is so righteous that no matter what love there was between them, if SQQ sees a demon, he will kill it. Even if that demon is Bingmei. 

The second moment is when SQQ dies for him. Again, from his point of view, he was chasing after a man who was struggling to see him as a human being. Shen Qingqiu’s death makes Bingmei realise that he has been completely misunderstanding his shizun: that SQQ would literally die for him, the ultimate act of self sacrifice from love: that SQQ loved him despite his demon heritage. 

Much like King Lear holding the corpse of his daughter and wailing in sheer grief and pain because he did this, he caused this, Bingmei gets to hold his shizun's cold body and cry his eyes out and know that it was his fault. (Kind of.)

(Yes, I’m bringing Shakespeare into this, no I am not justifying myself)

Maybe I'm a bit sadistic, but that scene slaps. Let me show you a comparison of scenes so you get the picture. 

Re-enter KING LEAR, with CORDELIA dead in his arms; EDGAR, Captain, and others following

KING LEAR

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:

Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so

That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!

I know when one is dead, and when one lives;

She's dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,

Why, then she lives.

[...]

 KING LEAR

And my poor fool is hang'd! No, no, no life!

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,

Never, never, never, never, never!

Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.

Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,

Look there, look there!

Dies

Versus this scene in SVSSS: 

Luo Binghe turned a deaf ear to everything else, greatly agitated and at a loss of what to do. He was still holding Shen Qingqiu’s body, which was rapidly cooling down. It seemed like he wanted to call for him loudly and forcefully shake him awake, yet he didn’t dare to, as if he was afraid of being scolded. He said slowly, “Shizun?”

[...]

Luo Binghe involuntarily held Shen Qingqiu closer.

He said in a small voice, “I was wrong, Shizun, I really… know that I was wrong.

“I… I didn’t want to kill you…”

PAIN. SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL PAIN. Yes, I know Shakespeare isn’t Athenian, but he was inspired by the good old stuff and he also knew how to write a perfect tragedy on his own terms. Anyway. I’ll find more Greek examples later.

This post was a bit all over the place, but I hope it has been fun to read. Part Two will be coming At Some Point, Who Knows When. This is a bit messy and unedited, but hey, I’m not getting paid or graded, so you can eat any typos or errors. Unless you’re here to talk to me about Chinese tragedy, in which case, please pull up a seat, let me get you a drink, make yourself at home.

ps: if you want to retweet this, here is the promo tweet!

[razberryyum]

Scumbag System (SVSSS donghua) Episode 10 Thoughts (spoilers)

(covers SVSSS chaps 24 - 26, BC Novels Translations)

And thus the first season of the SVSSS donghua comes to an end...rather weirdly abruptly to be honest, but more on that later. Obviously I love the donghua. It was not perfect, but it still exceeded my expectations. I truly appreciate what they were able to do within their budget constraints and I think they captured the spirit of the source material perfectly, which is really all I hope for when it comes to adaptations.  The writing was strong, the humor hit the spot always (for example, when poor Shizun got motion sickness from sword riding, I guffawed), and they also gave us some of the most beautiful characters I’ve ever seen on screen, especially with Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge. I really, really hope they release official figurines for them. I’m going to start saving my money now just for that possibility.

Even though their time together in this episode was short, the BingQiu love was definitely strong. They gave them a combo move that was not in the source material: for someone like me who grew up watching Cantonese dramas, two characters who have a combo sword move (”雙劍合璧”!) are usually a couple so I was especially tickled by this addition. I am always thankful to the donghua team for the little Easter Eggs they give us for BingQiu, like the way Binghe's eyes lit up when he sees SQQ... 

or when SQQ touches him...

Once again, for those not in the know, it can easily be interpreted as a disciple just being devoted and filial to his Shizun. But for those of us who have read the novel, of course we know it’s indication of Bingmei falling in love with SQQ. I love how subtle yet significant these little expressions of Binghe’s are, and I hope they continue on with these little touches even in the next season. 

Of course then there are the more obvious gestures, like that HUG:

It lasted for a good 15 seconds and oh my God look at the Binghe’s hand placement!  There was totally nipple groppage happening there! This wasn’t in the book by the way...SQQ didn’t get woozy and Binghe most definitely didn’t have to catch him like some fainting damsel, so we have the donghua team to thank for this wonderful moment of (sexy) physical contact between the two of them. 

The donghua team was also especially generous in this episode since not only did we get some BingQiu love, but we got a pinch of LiuShen and QiJiu love too.

LQG’s eyes were on SQQ the entire time! And then Yue Qingyuan as usual took any opportunity he got to touch his Qingqiu.  So all shippers were fed. Hell, they even threw in some more straight-baiting again so peeps who are watching the show for the “straight” romance between Luo Binghe and his never-to-be-future-wife Qin Wanyue were fed too since the scene where Binghe gives her the handkerchief to wipe away her tears were not in the chapters of the book for this episode, and racking my brain I don’t even think it was in the book, period. I’m trying to remember if that handkerchief even holds any significance but even if it does, it’s all for naught since we know Qin Wanyue is at most just a minor side character. She does pop up again later on but then is mostly forgotten, so...not quite sure what that moment was all about other than to, I don’t know, throw off the censors?

I’m also not sure why we spent so much time with Liu Mingyan and Gongyi Xiao in this episode. Nothing against them personally, I like both characters very much (despite my previous complaints about GYX’s character design), and it’s not that they don’t deserve more screen time, but this was the season finale! Even though the next season has been announced, God knows when we’ll see it next year and how many episodes it would be, so every minute of screen time matters! That’s why I was a bit puzzled that they used up half of the episode showing LMY basically facing the same perils with her group of fellow disciples as before and GYX just running from that huge serpent. Even if that thing DOES turn out to be Zhuzhi-lang, it was still a bit much. They weren’t exactly character building scenes either so...why? Budget reasons? Didn’t have enough money to pay SQQ’s voice actor (Wu Lei-laoshi) so they had to stick in miscellaneous scenes to lessen his screen time? 

I’m kidding of course. God I hope that wasn’t the reason because that would just be sad.

Speaking of miscellaneous scenes though, what was going on with these two dudes?

I gotta admit, I’m a bit salty that these two mob characters got to do what our main couple can’t. What’s their story? Why do they get special privileges? Damn these nobodies. XD

All kidding aside, I have to say, of all the episodes this season, this might be the weakest one, not only because of the “filler” scenes, but also, the way the episode ended was so odd, especially for a season finale. The season basically ended on a scene transition. Not a cliffhanger, just a scene transition, and then cut to credits. What?? Why??? It’s almost as if they just ran out of time so had to stop the show all of a sudden. And then as if to make up for it, they added post-credit scenes which, honestly blew me away because it was so unexpected. It was indeed almost enough to make me completely forgive the weakness of the episode as a whole and that weird-ass ending.

I teared up!  The scene was kind of chopped up, didn’t even flow that smoothly, but I still got emotional! I’m sure when I see this scene in its entirety next season I am just going to be destroyed. I think they made it even more gut-wrenching than it was in the novel. Looks like the donghua team really aren’t gonna hold back when it comes to delivering the BingQiu knives. 

We also got to see Mobei-jun appear in the post-credits scene; I guess they had to stick him in there since he was featured in the poster for this season, so it would have been weird if he didn’t at least make an appearance.

I immediately thought of him as Sephiroth’s younger cousin when I first saw him on the poster and I still feel that way. Anyone related to Sephiroth, I will approve and instantly have affection for. For the MoShang shippers’ sake, I hope the Shang Qinghua they create for him will be just as pretty. I think I can now safely discard my guess from last time and also that moon-faced bearded ojisan others have guessed. We actually got a glimpse of the real deal in this sequence:

They strategically made him blurry so you can’t really make out his features, but what we still can tell from there is that he does not have facial hair (hence, he cannot be the ojisan) and the hair crown he’s wearing is silver and different from the twinky sect leader. So I guess we’ll be getting a fresh out of the microwave Airplane Bro instead of any of the no-name potential cannon fodder we’ve already seen. 

We’ll probably get the abyss opening up in maybe even the first episode of next season but that’ll still leave a lot of ground to be covered in just 10 episodes (rumored). There haven’t been any talk about a third season, but I really hope it’ll happen, even though it might take them a while to make it. I know it’s premature to even think of a third season when we haven’t even gotten an actual release date for the second, but I’m greedy because I already miss the donghua. This season was over so quickly, I’m already mourning the lack of new episodes. I hope we get the second season in the first quarter of next year and then by some miracle, a third or even fourth to properly finish out the story. I know we will never get the FULL story, but as long as they keep the spirit of BingQiu’s love and continue to hint at it like they’ve been doing this season, I will be more than satisfied. 

And while I’m wishful thinking for new seasons, I hope we also get a BingQiu duet and character songs. I love the opening and ending theme this season, if they want to save money I totally don’t mind if they just use the same OP/ED themes in the next season as well, but I hope they throw in a good BingQiu insert song and then release some individual character songs as well. I’m still not a fan of Binghe’s voice, but maybe they can have someone else do his vocals for the songs. SVSSS is the older son of MXTX’s works, I feel like it already got short-shrifted in terms of adaptation since it got the lesser budget compared to MDZS and TGCF. Hopefully with how popular the donghua is this season, it will be given a bigger budget next season so they can bring to life all the subsequent proceedings from the book properly. And whatever they’re paying Wu Lei-laoshi, SQQ’s voice actor, they should double it because that man is just amazing. I worship his voice and performance. I wish he would read the audiobook version of the the novel. I would listen to the hell out of that.  I have always loved SQQ, but if I’m going to be honest, I came into the show just a little more excited about seeing Bingge being brought to life. I still love Binghe of course, in all his phases, however, now,  because of Wu Lei-laoshi’s stellar voice performance (and of course SQQ’s beautiful looks), I’m leaving this season absolutely head over heels about SQQ/Shen Yuan. Also thanks to the show, I’m completely obsessed with Liu Qingge as well.  So for those two reasons, I will eternally be grateful to the donghua team.  

[dongjus-sparkle]

SVSSS Read through 📖

Chap 5 - Chap 15

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY

Let's go!

■Chapter 5■

• Mission time!!

• "don’t you know you’re exactly like that mission-giving NPC?" 🤣

• Nice. Shen Qingqiu complained earlier about cultivators using horses and carriages when he was reviewing the book. It is a bit weird, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

• "Ming Fan was truly well-versed in being a piece of cannon fodder." His entire character so far.

• The Skinner. Sounds like an exciting arc is starting.

• Ohhhhhh loopholes in the system's OOC function. He's coming up with every workaround to be nice to Luo Binghe and everyone is SHOCKED.

• AND we already have Luo Binghe being like 'he's good to look at' 🤣

• -5 points for smILING?! Rude.

■Chapter 6■

• "He didn’t like looking at an old man in his sixties and a teenage girl fondling each other in front of him at all!" Good I'm not the only one.

• Of course Ning Yingying went missing. So far she just accidentally starts trouble over and over again.

• "Fuck, if there’s an Easy Mode why didn’t you say so earlier! Activate activate activate!" Honestly a mood.

• Get's knocked out just to be taunted by the system OOC: -50 Points.

•WHY IS HE NAKED.

■Chapter 7■

• Oh good not totally naked.

• Immediately guesses correctly who The Skinner is and then just waits for the classic boss narrative. I love Shen Qingqiu 😚

• Ohhh. The butterfly demon is clever! Using Shen Qingqiu as their next skin so that they can use the Xiu Ya Sword to make themselves stronger 👏 but then they just gave away the entire plan.

• Luo Binghe sees Shen Qingqiu half naked, vulnerable, and tied up 👀

• Please tell me there's a reason you're directing the Butterfly toward Luo Binghe with your weird roundabout complements~~

■Chapter 8■

• Exploits the systems rule that only Luo Binghe can't die, but then complains about what a cop out it will be for the reader 😅

• "...Just praised you and you said something stupid again. Please don’t talk about how to release your enemy"

• I forgot that he set the mission to easy mode!

• "Even if something does happen, nothing will happen to you.” hi. They're being cute again.

•Earning a whole bunch of points and disabling OOC function. Shen Qingqiu having free control, I sense chaos in the wind~

• He gave Luo Binghe the right cultivation methods. The best master. 💗

■Chap 9■

• Enters the spirit cave to find a way to cultivate, immediately had to deal with someone's Qi deviation.

• 'Congratulations! The system’s notice: Changed the scene ‘Liu Qingge’s death,’ the death and hatred values for the villain ‘Shen Qingqiu’ have decreased' OHHHHH he can change whole scenes and his character!

• Each of the peaks is know for their own thing thats cool. There is an Ascetic peak? And a Lovley Ladies peak 🤣🤣

• I love Shen Qingqiu being devastated by Liu Qingge not being a big tough guy.

• Every single person when Shen Qingqiu is being genuinely nice: 😱🧐

■Chapter 10■

• Shen Qingqiu sees Luo Binghe: oh good he's here! When he sees the leader of the demon invasion: "Don't your feet hurt?"

• I think I need to see some art of the Demon Saint Sha Hualing. Her description is mint. 💃🏻

• Here we go again with the making your character be less like scum. HUM. I wonder if that will change the plot...

■Chapter 11■

•Shen Qingqiu out here getting all fancy fighting the one armed demon with just his fan. God that's style.

• Luo Binghe being like 👀🤩💘

•OH NO NOT HIS COOL LEVEL 🤣

• She is so beautiful that she has to wear a veil all the time. Damn. Thats powerful.

•Shen Qingqiu then just fawns over both the future wives of Luo Binghe being in his presence. "The beauty of an Evil demon girl’s wild and unrestrained behavior can make him drunk; the Righteous saint girl wavering between abstinence and desire letting people’s hearts itch." Dramatic ass

■Chapter 12■

• Everyone thinks he's crazy for calling Binghe forward to fight. And they basically beg him to forfit so he doesn't die... but didn't we say earlier that the protagonist can't die.

• Binghe really takes it to heart every time Qingqiu says he believes he'll make it through.

• He's mad that Binghe didn't win even more cool points 😆

• The demon is so mad he lost and was shamed that he decides it would be a good idea to slight up attack Luo Binghe again. Demon logic.

• "These righteous and awe-inspiring words didn’t just make the demons speechless; in his heart, even Shen Qingqiu’s own old face turned dark red." And I'm sure broke Binghe's brain a little bit.

• Binghe literally: 🤩🤩😍 He saved me again, and be believes in me 💘

• AGAIN?

■Chapter 13■

•He can't stop himself from jumping in front of Luo Binghe again and again.......

• "In his mind and heart there was a string of scrolling fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck brushed all over the screen." Honestly I'd think the same id I was poisoned.

• Luo Binghe is PISSED.

• "Shizun, this disciple is willing to receive the attack in your stead.” 😵 "Since you know this injury is because of you, you should properly protect your own life!” ☠💀☠💀

• Liu Qingge is like, oh, you wanted to run away after attacking us unprompted. No.

• Improves his own role, then sees Binghe crying for him, immediately regrets his decision, passes out.

■Chapter 14■

•Luo Binghe watching his Shizun from as far away as possible is sad.

• Shen Qingqiu is just now seeing how much he's changed the story. And how the future events scare him. Whooo.

• "Luo Binghe immediately ran to the kitchen. The congee that he remade every hour these days finally came of use." 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh no. He's like fully committed.

• The flirting is RIDICULOUS. "Why don't I make you something new everyday" 😫

• Shen Qingqiu realizes that's his best pickup line in the original story, but being all, what a guy, why not!

• Him trying to get away with not pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss.

•You're telling me that in the original book that having set with a half demon half great cultivator is the cure. And that that helps him level up?

■Chapter 15■

• Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu being brothers is cute. But even he thought that Qingqiu might be possessed

• Ming Fan is so mad hearing positive words about Luo Binghe from Shen Qingqiu that he throws a fit. Abd Binghe just accepts it. Hes the best boy.

•The name Dream Realm........ I wonder where this could possibly go!

[delicioussshame]

I misread a comment someone left me on my time travel LiuShen fic about what if there had been an issue with said time travel and Luo Binghe walks on Liu Qingge hugging Shen Qingqiu, because said comment talked about post-canon but I didn’t read that and spend hours thinking about how that would work so you’re all getting my notes about this fic I’m not writing.

So it's obvious that the spirit is aware that time travel occurred, right? And I'm thinking it's very powerful so maybe it's omniscient or something and decided the best way to deal with that mess would be to bring back LBH a few days after he fell into the Abyss. That way SQQ did what he had to do so it's fine. Binghe just appears in the bamboo house and SQQ is so surprised and confused he has to check that Binghe really is there, and maybe he hugs Binghe and maybe Binghe starts crying when he sees how not angry or scared SQQ is, and they fight a little but LBH isn't bitter yet and SQQ didn't really have time to be scared of him so they make up after a little while. SQQ apologises, being all I freaked when I found out you were a demon but I was wrong, and considering how spontaneous the reaction is LBH forgives him. So they mostly get back to their before-Abyss relationship. I figured LQG was sent back pretty much the day he met the spirit, so something like two years after LBH disappeared. So LBH is nineteen FYI. And he interrupts just after SQQ decides LQG must have had a really, really bad dream/suffered an attack by a dream demon. SQQ, by the way, would be way more confused because he has no idea who is better off dead. Insert comment fic here: "What are you doing to Shizun!?" Liu Qingge's head snaps so fast he almost hurts his neck. "You!" How is Luo Binghe here! That monster! If she could bring him back, why hadn't she? He'll go right back to her and kill her as revenge for all his suffering! He should have expected that Luo Binghe's appearance would instantly steal Shen Qingqiu's attention. "Binghe, Liu-shidi isn't well right now. Let me deal with him." Like this ever worked. "Shizun shouldn't bother himself! If he's not well, I'll take him to Mu-shishu! Liu-shishu, come with me!" And Luo Binghe starts pulling at his robes with a rudeness that would earn him a beating if he was Liu Qingge's disciple. He can pull all he wants. Liu Qingge isn't letting go of Shen Qingqiu just yet. He missed him far too much to be satisfied with this little. He tightens his hold on Shen Qingqiu. "I'm not going. I'm fine. Go away." This is all Luo Binghe's fault anyway. He can share Shen Qingqiu for a few moments. Luo Binghe knows he won't convince him, so he turns to a proven bleeding heart. "Shizun shouldn't allow such rudeness! It's late, this isn't proper! Tell him to go back to Bai Zhan Peak!" If Liu Qingge has to let go of Shen Qingqiu without having had a chance to really talk to him, it will be to kill Luo Binghe himself. "Who are you to order your shizun around! Shen Qingqiu, he's the one who needs to be taught manners." Shen Qingqiu looks at the both of them glaring at each other and sighs. "Binghe, Liu-shidi is right. You're being very rude to your shishu. Go to bed." "But Shizun!" Liu Qingge can hear the tears. Who does this child think he is, to try to manipulate Shen Qingqiu after all the pain he caused him! Liu Qingge really will kill him. "Binghe, enough. Go into your room and don't come out until morning, or I will be very cross with you." Luo Binghe withers like an old rose. "Shizuuuuun." "Now, Binghe." Luo Binghe is much too old to sulk like this. "Yes, Shizun." "And close the door behind you!" The door slams into the wall with too much strength. "Do you want me to teach him a lesson?" Liu Qingge would love nothing more than to punish Shen Qingqiu's disciple for all the trouble he created. "I'm sorry about Binghe. I know he can be overbearing. The fault lies within me for not having taught him better. Please, for my sake, forgive him." Muffled, indignant voice from behind the door: "Shizun has nothing to apologise for! Liu-shishu is the one who is being overbearing!" "...Let's go outside, shall we?" No matter what Shen Qingqiu says, Liu Qingge will beat up Luo Binghe tomorrow for having driven his teacher out of his own house so late at night. "Fine." And then the rest of the fic mostly happens, you just have to add some lyricism about how pretty SQQ is in the moonlight. And SQQ comes back in all dazed, and LBH takes one look at him because like he was gonna stay in his room, and is all SHIZUN HAS BEEN RAVISHED!!! I'LL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. It's a sure sign LBH needs to start courting SQQ in earnest instead of hoping things will work out before he's stolen. The next day SQQ decides that obviously LQG had been unwell and he's just going to forget that all happened. That's what's better for everyone. LQH shows up to beat up LBH as promised, and it instantly becomes a fight to the death for SQQ's hand. SQQ is watching and trying to deescalate but they're ignoring him until it becomes too much and SQQ enters the fray to stop LQG from really killing Binghe. LBH fakes being hurt and needing support and pulls his tongue at LQG from behind SQQ as he leans all over his Shizun. Cue rom-com shenanigans as both of them, innocent and inexperienced bumbling fools in love that they are, try to get SQQ to realise they're in love with him in increasingly dramatic fashion. The whole sect watches on with popcorn. It ends in threesome because if it didn't it wouldn't be the fluffy mess I would want it to be.

[delicioussshame]

I’ve pretty much stopped posting completed fics here, but for my new followers, here is the other fic I had written for LiuShen Week.

You can find all the other stuff I’ve written on AO3.

Shen Qingqiu cannot help but startle when Li Qingge storms into his house. Even for Bai Zhan Peak’s master, this is incredibly rude. He’s about to chastise him for his unseemly demeanour when his shidi turns towards him, and he looks so distraught Shen Qingqiu’s own composure falters. “Liu-shidi, what…”

He cannot finish his sentence. His breath is stolen away by Liu Qingge’s violent embrace, all of his speed and force focused on holding him and keeping him there. Even if he wanted, he doesn’t think he could free himself from the arm tightly wrapped around his waist, or the hand pressing his head into Liu Qingge’s neck. All he can feel is the tremors coursing through Liu Qingge’s frame.

To say Shen Qingqiu is shaken would be an understatement. What could have rattled Liu Qingge of all people so badly? “Shidi, what happened.”

Liu Qingge’s embrace tightens even further, if that’s possible. Shen Qingqiu soon won’t be able to breathe anymore if he doesn’t let go. “Shidi, let this shixiong help. Tell me happened to trouble you so.”

Liu Qingge lets out a shaky exhalation. Shen Qingqiu waits.

“He’s better off dead.”

Shen Qingqiu feels himself grow cold in an instant. What did he just say? Did he just dare…

But Liu Qingge frees his head to look at him straight in the eyes. His obvious distress, so foreign on the beautiful face more suited to anger, is so striking Shen Qingqiu wills himself to listen.

“Trust me, he is.”

Shen Qingqiu hears the conviction in his voice, and for a moment, he believes him.

________________

“Are you certain this is your wish?”

“I am.”

The girl, if one could call it that, throws a searing glance at him but nods in agreement. “So be it. I hope this will bring you happiness.” She doesn’t look like she believes it will.

Liu Qingge’s happiness is irrelevant. Or, if not irrelevant, then secondary. Shen Qingqiu’s happiness is what he needs. If Shen Qingqiu’s grief can be lifted, then everything that matters will follow suit.

________________

When Liu Qingge regains consciousness, he finds himself standing on a battlefield, beside what must be the Endless Abyss.

Good.

He looks, and sure enough, here are Shang Qinghua (unimportant, already unconscious), Shen Qingqiu’s presumptuous disciple, Luo Binghe (still alive and well, good) and Shen Qingqiu (not burdened by grief, not yet, only wary and ready to fight, perfect). The demon lord standing nearby must be the one who took Luo Binghe’s life. Nothing else close by could have defeated Shen Qingqiu (or his hangers-on).

Defeating demons is what Liu Qingge excels at. This one is strong. Probably too strong for Shen Qingqiu, never mind his student. His kind doesn’t usually just wander into the human realm. He must be here for a reason. Maybe he is the commander of this whole operation.

Liu Qingge doesn’t care what his reason is. Demons have no place here. It’s his duty to destroy it before it can cause even more damage. “You two, don’t move. I’ll take care of this.”

“Liu-shidi, where did you even come from? There are disciples from other sects who need your help, don’t bother with us. I can handle him.”

Liu Qingge snorts. “No you can’t. Don’t move, you’ll be in my way.”

“Liu-shidi, I don’t think-“

Liu Qingge shuts him out and charges. He can listen to Shen Qingqiu babble later, when they’re all safe.

The fight is tough. In another place, in another time, he might have enjoyed the challenge. Here and now, he doesn’t have that luxury. Shen Qingqiu’s well-being is on the line.

He finally manages to deal what, on anyone else, would have been a killing blow. The demon staggers back a few steps, and sensing he won’t win this, pops back into the Abyss, which he closes after himself, probably to escape pursue.

Liu Qingge’s priorities instantly change. Luo Binghe… has been waiting by Shen Qingqiu’s side. Both are safe. Both will be coming home with him.

He will never have to face Shen Qingqiu’s grief again.

“Shizun? Shizun, is there something wrong? Shizun!? SHIZUN!”

“What! What is it?” But he doesn’t need to ask. He can see from the way Luo Binghe is shaking Shen Qingqiu’s limp, unresponsive body that something went horribly wrong. “Did he faint?”

Luo Binghe is crying, completely panicked. “I don’t know! He has no pulse! He’s not breathing! He was fine, and then he dropped! He’s not responding to anything! Liu-shishu, what do we do!?”

Liu Qingge’s blood turns cold. “Let’s take him to Mu Qingfang. He’ll know what to do.”

But as soon as he takes Shen Qingqiu’s body in his arms, he knows. There is no life left in him.

Shen Qingqiu is dead.

________________

“I don’t know what to tell you. There’s nothing wrong with his body. It’s like his soul just left. My best guess is that this demon lord you fought managed to unleash some sort of demonic skill that killed him instantly.”

“There must be something we can do! Shizun can’t be dead!”

Liu Qingge stays silent. If Mu Qingfang says nothing can be done, then nothing can be done. No matter how much Luo Binghe cries and wails and pulls at him uselessly, death is final.

________________

He hears Luo Binghe’s cries in his dream, background noises to accompany Shen Qingqiu’s cooling skin as Liu Qingge carries his body to his final rest, under the sword monument he had first erected for his student.

________________

If Liu Qingge had found Qing Jing Peak unpleasant to visit when Luo Binghe had died, it is now unbearable. All the disciples are openly crying or red-eyed, supporting their devastated colleagues.  There are no lessons, no training, no music. Shen Qingqiu’s first disciple is in no state to lead the peak. He is too busy always getting into fights with Luo Binghe.

Well, getting into fights at Luo Binghe. He’s been mostly unresponsive since Shen Qingqiu’s death. He wouldn’t even think of trying to defend himself, not when he feels responsible for it.

Of course Luo Binghe thinks he’s the reason Shen Qingqiu died. His master came to save him, after all.

Liu Qingge would tell him he was wrong if he thought he could convince him. Liu Qingge is the only one that has to bear this sin. He is the reason why the bamboo house has been left empty. Neither Luo Binghe nor Shen Qingqiu will ever step into it again. It has been left abandoned. Liu Qingge will never return a lost fan there again, or drink tea while Shen Qingqiu whines about how unappreciative he is of the brew, or try to get him to discipline his unruly pupil, or to take him to a quest, or, or…

Liu Qingge leaves the peak.

He doesn’t come back.

________________

“Bai Zhan Peak would take you.” It’s not his peak’s way to recruit, but Liu Qingge owes Shen Qingqiu this much. Surely his last wish must have been for Luo Binghe to be well. Contributing to fulfilling said last wish would be the least he could do.

“The sect leader offered me the same thing. Thank you, Liu-shishu, but I cannot stay. Please take care of Shizun’s grave for me.”

Liu Qingge understands. There is nothing tying Luo Binghe to the sect now. His bonds to his fellow disciples have been severed by him causing their master’s death, no matter how undeserved this punishment is. Everything on Qing Jing Peak must be a reminder of his shizun. To others, he himself is a constant painful memento of the man he was always following.

There is no joy left for him here.

Maybe this is why they couldn’t be a relief to one another. Where others could have found comfort in sharing pain, all Liu Qingge can see when he looks at Luo Binghe is the result of his failure. A bad trade-off, through no fault of Luo Binghe. He knows he could have done more to soothe his hurt, but he couldn’t get himself to, not even for Shen Qingqiu’s sake.

So Liu Qingge just looks at him leave the sect despite the pleas of that one female disciple, the one that stayed fond of him when everyone else turned on him.

Liu Qingge pities her. One is already too much, but she lost both of them.

He doesn’t know how she can handle it.

________________

Things settle. They always do. The routine of the sect reinstates itself.

From what he hears, Qing Jing Peak is still gloomy. Ming Fan has taken over its daily operations without too much trouble, but there is still no laughter. The disciples are still sombre, all too aware of the irreplaceable presence that’s missing.

The sect leader is functioning, but only functioning. Something in him died along with Shen Qingqiu, and his mood reflects on all the peak leaders, even those who were never fond of the deceased. The peak lords meetings have never been something he looked forward too, but now they’re torture. This, too, is the result of his actions.

Liu Qingge cannot blame the sect leader for his apathy. He doesn’t know what link he and Shen Qingqiu had always shared, but he knew of it. If he had known what was going to happen, he would have asked Shen Qingqiu about it. Maybe he would have explained this much wondered about mystery. If he had known Shen Qingqiu was going to die, he would have…

Let him be honest. If he had known, Shen Qingqiu’s death wouldn’t have been the first time he would have allowed himself to hold him. If he had known Shen Qingqiu was going to die, he would have gone to see him more often. He would have stayed by his side as often as he could. He would have found a way, a real way, to help him deal with his grief.

He would have told him how he felt about him. How agonising seeing Shen Qingqiu refuse to accept Luo Binghe’s disappearance was. How all he wanted was to be his support. How, if Shen Qingqiu would let him, he would do anything to fill the void Luo Binghe left. He knows that he could never replace him, but he could be there.

If Shen Qingqiu would let him, he would take him into his arm, just to feel him alive. He would kiss him, to know the feeling of his lips against his. He would share his bed, to wipe away the hurt and the memories for a little while, to steal Shen Qingqiu away and have him all to himself until the first rays of the sun dragged them back to reality.

If he had known.

________________

He stares at his disciple, frozen. “Shizun?”

“Go away.” There’s a growl in his voice he is unused to hear.

The disciple doesn’t have to be told twice.

The quest. The mission, the monster, the girl. He is, after all, in the past. The monster he had been asked to exterminate hasn’t been defeated yet. The spirit, hiding overwhelming capacities under the guise of a little girl, hasn’t been freed yet.

Liu Qingge hasn’t made a wish yet.

________________

“Are you happy?”

Liu Qingge almost laughs to her face. Which part of him looks like he’s happy? “No.”

She tuts. Liu Qingge wants to strangle her. “Undo it.”

She looks at him. Or she looks through him like he’s so much air. He can’t tell. He doesn’t care. “Will this make you happy?”

Whatever happens, he will be happier than he is now, alone and a murderer. “Yes.”

She stares on and on, until all he can see is that dead stare.

________________

He thought he would return to the Conference, and have to deal with Shen Qingqiu trying to keep it together again. In his moments of weakness, he’d wondered if having to face Shen Qingqiu grieving all over again would be his penance.

But he wakes up in his own room on his peak.

A second later, he’s flying to Qing Jing Peak, uncaring of the darkness surrounding him. When is he? Is it too late? Is he back to a sect where Shen Qingqiu is dead?

He becomes less frantic when he spots the sword monument. If Luo Binghe died, then surely…

He cannot reach the bamboo house soon enough.

________________

“Trust me, he is.”

Even Shen Qingqiu’s blatant confusion is a balm to his soul. Trust the man not to fly in a rage even when confronted with such a provocative statement.

Even if he had angered, if he’d thrown punches and kicks and insults, Liu Qingge would have happily taken it all. He’s alive he’s alive he’s alive is still all he can process. Under his hands isn’t a cool body but living flesh and blood, warm, warmer than anything he has ever felt.

“Liu-shidi, you have to explain.”

Shen Qingqiu cannot understand, but he has to know. “You were dead. I tried to save him, but you just died instead.”

Shen Qingqiu freezes under him. “What? Liu-shidi, what are you talking about? I’m alive. I’m here. Did you have a nightmare? Ah, that must have been it. Some creatures can create very realistic illusions. Maybe you were the prey of such a beast. Here, let me check if something is wrong.”

Shen Qingqiu takes the hand that was resting on his hip and presses two digits to his wrist, checking on his spiritual energy. They’re barely touching, but since Shen Qingqiu initiated the gesture it’s almost too much for a parched man like Liu Qingge.

“Nothing seems wrong. Do you want to go see Mu-shidi?”

“No. I’m fine.” He has everything he needs right here.

Without his conscious knowledge, the arm Shen Qingqiu had just freed himself from has found his way around his waist again, pressing them together.

“Um, Liu-shidi, if you could let me go…”

Liu Qingge just holds on tighter.

Shen Qingqiu sighs.

And… pats his head? “Really, to be so scared by a nightmare. Liu-shidi isn’t one of my disciples. I shouldn’t have to coddle him like I do Binghe.”

He seems to realise what he just said just a few moments after. “Ah…”

He’s right. Liu Qingge of all people shouldn’t be coddled. Didn’t he tell himself that if he had a chance, he would take the first step? That he would tell Shen Qingqiu the truth?

“It’s okay if you miss him.” Liu Qingge himself is now too familiar with the feeling.

“It’s not that…”

“It is. You miss him. That’s fine. You loved him, after all.”

There’s tension resting against him. “I what?”

“You loved him. Dearly. Losing someone you love hurts.”

Shen Qingqiu blushes. Liu Qingge tries not to be mesmerised by the sight. “What are you talking about? I didn’t…”

“You did. He was your favourite student. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Before, he would have said he couldn’t understand, but now… Everything about Shen Qingqiu’s situation is too familiar for comfort.

“You think I… Really?”

Liu Qingge just looks at him.

“Well, I supposed Shidi must know what he’s talking about, since the prospect of this shixiong dying shocked him so badly. He must be quite fond of me too.”

He recognises the attempt at teasing, to defuse the situation and have him push Shen Qingqiu away. He can’t say Shen Qingqiu missed the mark completely, he is a bit flustered, but he did promise himself he would be more honest, this time around. Second chances are rare. Third chances are a mirage he can’t afford to waste. “Yes, I am.” To punctuate his words, his free hand runs softly over Shen Qingqiu’s hair, already unbound for the night.

It’s just as fine as he’d always imagined.

“...Shidi.”

Shen Qingqiu’s hair really is as soft as silk.

He wonders if the strand he’s holding would feel as soft against his lips.

It is.

“Shidi!”

Liu Qingge lets the strand escape, but not without enjoying the caress each hair leaves while trailing on his skin.

The unease he tried to keep at bay returns in full force. That was forward, probably too forward for the night. He doesn’t regret it, not really, but he shouldn’t have. “I pushed. Forgive me.” He didn’t want to discomfort Shen Qingqiu. He never wants to.

“You… pushed?”

Liu Qingge frowns. Didn’t he make his intention clear? Does Shen Qingqiu just let anyone play with his hair like kittens with strings?

He pushes the jealousy back. He’s being ridiculous. “I was being forward.”

“Forward.”

Is Shen Qingqiu just going to repeat everything he says in that deadpan tone? “Yes.”

He seems so puzzled. A tiny, often unused part of Liu Qingge wants to classify him as cute.

Then again, this is the man who couldn’t figure out he loved his student without being told, even after having mourned him for months if not years. He must be quite blind.

To be fair, he didn’t have the benefit of having relived the same events multiple times.

This is going to demand more.

He did tell himself he would kiss him if he ever got the chance.

“Oh” is what Shen Qingqiu has to say.

“Oh” is what he says again a few moments later.

As reluctant as he is to release Shen Qingqiu from his embrace, he has overstayed his welcome. It is now Shen Qingqiu’s time to make choices.

Liu Qingge starts feeling cold the moment they stop touching, and his heart starts beating too fast, but he marches on. “Since you’re well, I will take my leave.”

“Shidi!”

Liu Qingge turns towards him, hand already resting on the door. “Yes.”

Shen Qingqiu caught in the thrall of embarrassment is an unexpectedly fetching spectacle. He won’t meet Liu Qingge’s eyes, and his skin is still flushed a pretty shade of red, but he still manages to speak. “This shixiong… is fond of you too. Goodbye!” And he’s pushed outside.

The night outside is chilly, but Liu Qingge still feels warm were Shen Qingqiu’s hands pressed against his back.

He suspects he will feel so for a long time.