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#her whole life is a serve
cosmosnout · 17 days
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I miss my wife(KHUX)
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ltorekdraws · 3 months
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BRO PLEASE DRAW MORE MANFRED AND TRUCY STUFF
I never thought I'd wanna see that old man being happy
Their dynamic is silly and whimsy I love it 😔❤️
oh sure i'm so into it SO there is another granddad manfred thing AND there is will be more
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phoenix has NO IDEA how to handle him but he can't leave an old man sleeping in chair
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stuckinapril · 8 months
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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superkitten-poison · 25 days
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to me velvette doesnt lie about *being bisexual* for attention but she lies about being bisexual *for attention*. like admitting to being attracted to women would make her a dyke and manly and f/f relationships dont even count bc her internalized misogyny goes so crazy she subconsicounsly does not see women as full people and needs men to validate her own personhood, and since men hold most of the power, surrounding herself with men is in fact a means to power. so one way she feels she Can have sexual contact with women is through excuses: it's for attention, for convenience, as a power play. but never because of her own desires and it can never mean anything. can you imagine? two women in a loving relationship. who would want to see that?
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cabin10diaries · 11 months
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my roman empire is jason grace
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butchladymaria · 1 year
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Immortality, Motherhood, and Pain: A Closer Look at Annalise and the Doll
Finally revisiting this from ages ago, because the parallels between these two are just SO fascinating. Content warnings for discussions of misogyny, genocide, abuse, and pregnancy/childbirth.
This analysis will cover the parallels between Miss Doll and Queen Annalise through the lenses of the misery of immortality, the trauma of marginalization, and the liberation they find in motherhood. Both the Doll and Annalise are undying, both coded as mother figures, both marked by death, and both very, very alone.
Miss doll and Annalise are the only characters in the whole game who are undying. You can kill them, but not meaningfully - not in any way that matters - and they seem to know it. Neither will try to stop you, nor will they fight back, should you choose to attack them. They will come back, and your violent betrayal will have seemingly meant nothing to them. They both are very aware they will outlast whatever violence you may inflict upon them. It's evidenced in their dialogue:
If you attack, Annalise says:
“Enough. If only Our life was so easily forfeit… Grieve not, for Us.” “How sad this is. If only Our life was so easily forfeit…”
If you attack Miss Doll, she used to say:
“I must have displeased you. Go on, shut me down… Even so, this vessel will remain in your service… So have no fear."
I think this point of comparison highlights just how deeply they've both been desensitized to violence and abuse. They do not beg for mercy, they do not put up a struggle - they only remark on it with distant chagrin. They both seem keenly aware that their flesh need not be in one piece to fulfill its purpose.
But where Miss Doll was made to embody the Victorian patriarchal ideal of womanhood, Annalise wields womanhood as her last weapon against the dehumanization of the church’s genocide through her queendom. Upon being resurrected the next time you return to the dream, Miss Doll will act as though nothing had happened at all. However, if you bring her flesh to the Altar of Despair, Annalise will call you an arrant fool, and remind you that “Vileblood or no, forget not; We are thy Queen”. Miss Doll kneels to serve the hunter, while the hunter must kneel to serve Annalise. Miss Doll has been conditioned to passively accept dehumanization and submission, yet Annalise demands respect through your submission even in her dehumanized state. Miss Doll is subjugated by the trappings of womanhood, while Annalise is lifted from subjugation by her womanhood, in some ways.
I find this fascinating, however, because while Miss Doll appears in every way as a pure, demure Victorian woman was meant to, they are also dehumanized through the denial of gender. To Gerhman, their creator, they are nothing more than another tool of the workshop. An object. Even the Doll themself uses neutral "I" pronouns to refer to themself in the original translation. I think it is pertinent to note that the only canonical reference to Miss Doll as a "woman" comes from Eileen. In the original Japanese text, she refers to the Doll with a term of endearment reserved for young girls. Miss Doll's appearance is the historical ideal of the subjugated woman - yet when Eileen confers upon her the status of "woman", she does so in an endearing and humanizing way. Therefore, for both Miss Doll and Queen Annalise, the status of womanhood is a rebuttal of their own dehumanizing subjugation: Annalise as "queen", and Miss Doll as "daughter".
Both characters are arguably seeking/find liberation through motherhood. Miss Doll gets "Childhood's Beginning": their creator and animator have both been put down, the hunt is finally over and they are no longer bound to serve its participants, nor must they watch their beheadings. They cradle the newly ascended hunter. It is a highly atypical “motherhood”. It exists in the performance of the role rather than the biology of childbirth. In the same way, the Doll possesses a highly atypical “womanhood” which exists in performance alone, rather than in biology or even identity — but nonetheless, it is real, and it is hers. I, perhaps too optimistically, choose read it as humanizing for them; because unlike their “womanhood”, Miss Doll is allowed to choose this for themself rather than having it imposed upon them.
In the same vein, Annalise seeks to birth a child of blood for a similar but perhaps more somber reason. She wants a child because she wants an heir — which is to say, because it is the only way she may once again have kin. Because it is the only way she may fulfill her duty as Queen. She witnessed everyone she ever knew or loved — surely her own family included — slaughtered before her eyes. Annalise seems to seek motherhood in order to be a homemaker - in the most literal sense possible. She wants to rebuild the community, the home, which was so brutally torn away from her. She wishes to restore honor to Cainhurst. For Annalise, having a child is an open act of rebellion against the genocidal eugenics-frenzied bloodthirst of the Church. I can't help but wonder if part of the reason Alfred is so hellbet on destroying her, why the Executioners imprisoned her the way they did, was to strip her of bodily autonomy so she couldn’t “reproduce”. Her desire for a child is her way of seeking liberation for her and her people.
In this sense, taking up the role of a mother, of "women's work", is what confers the agency upon both Annalise and Miss Doll which had been otherwise stripped from them. Annalise's by the genocidal eugenics of the Church, and Miss Doll by the pact of servitude she was seemingly born into.
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gayemeralds · 3 months
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character arcs
optimus -> dies
mirage -> learns to like humans and overcomes his selfishness
moonracer -> literally perfect
jazz -> learns to speak up
hot rod -> matures into a leader
bumblebee -> learns to reconcile who he was and who he is
arcee -> gets worse
first aid -> already perfect
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category is…. best hoes to haunt the narrative 💟
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doomed-era · 8 months
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framing the disappearance of sheikah tech in totk as a tragedy that no one is willing to acknowledge because it just made it simpler to discard, and purah robbie and the other researchers' endeavors as a desperate bid to not be discarded as well makes me go a little insane every time I think about it
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ahalliance · 1 year
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this bit from baghs’ lore is haunting me . a blackboard with all the francophones’ initals . were all of them originally island experiments that managed to escape like qbaghs?
#qsmp#baghera jones#french lore goes haaaaaard#like . okay . baghs was a child hybrid experiment who grew up with the feds then eventually managed to escape .#we know Someone was asked and then instructed to Get Her Back#which we think means the whole crashing the plane on purpose thing . which we think kameto orchestrated#and all the other francophones have Some sort or connection to the island and experiments as well#étoiles serving as a test subject during his code fights for the feds#the feds nearly torturing aypierre to death (fucked up . btw can we talk about that) to get info out of him#and then performing some dubious ass unknown procedure on him to save his life#antoine has less tying him to the feds as of Now but we know he doesn’t hold as much hatred for the feds as the others do . like he’s very#neutral and almost lenient towards them (suceur de cucurucho . anw)#so there’s links for All of them . multiple hints pointing towards a shared islander past linked to the federation#maybe that explains why the federation seems so chill about them (in comparison to the brazilians lmao)#like . they’re not That outwardly aggressive towards them#maybe the Feds are just so smug and pleased that they got their experiments back that they don’t mind being lenient towards them now .#because they’ve got them back in their clutches and this time they won’t be able to leave#hmmmmmmm okay current theory: baghs n some of the others (at least aypierre and étoiles though probs antoine too) managed to escape the fed#kameto stayed behind for x reason idk he’s a fed simp . anw he was then instructed to orchestrate the plane crash to bring the others back#and he did . and the vague memories aypierre has and the ‘oh maybe they’re not so bad’ mentality antoine has#are just the old Feelings being stirred up by being back on the island despite the amnesia#okay boom im so smart#jay rambles#incredibly long tag set im not sorry
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ninjagirlstar5 · 25 days
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You've seen me ramble about the problems with Kanade and Chapter 3, so you know how I feel. It really does feel like LINUJ went for pure shock value instead of anything narratively satisfying. I like your take on the idea, where instead of just the shock and horror, there's actual purpose and character behind it.
The twins do really seem like they would be a great cautionary tale of mutual toxicity and obsession, and I like the idea of them reuniting only because there were people in need during The Tragedy.
And I admit I'm biased, but I'm always happy to see more stories where Hibiki actually survives ^^
OH yeah, I have. I've read most (if not all) of those asks on the ASOOT blog as they were coming out and it made me realize how bad SDRA2's Chapter 3 is. And when I actually sat down to play the game myself with my friend, I went from knowing that Chapter 3 is bad to actually experiencing how bad it was for myself. Like, it went from, "Oh, it's kinda okay so far, but I know the shoe is gonna drop at some point-" to "OH WOW, it really IS that bad, dear lord." Like, Jesus Christ, this chapter was...a lot and yet full of nothing at the same time beyond just shock value. It's not as if the whole serial killer thing couldn't have worked, the problem is that all the people that's closely connected to the case gets axed all in one go, and it's kinda just...never brought up again. Like, come on. If you're going to go THAT far, at least give it SOME kind of importance to a character connected to this shitshow, like Hibiki. Who got killed off alongside Kanade. Like, thanks, I hate it. There's so many things wrong with Chapter 3 and how Kanade was handled that the best thing to do for both is to just rewrite it all from the ground up. So when my brain started giving me ideas on how it could be rewritten, I decided I needed to get it out of my system and tried to approach it in a more human and complicated way than something as twistedly evil to the point of shock value. Kanade is at least more pitiable here since you can actually understand her on SOME level but never excuse her actions as she's still toxic in her right towards Hibiki (who's also toxic to her in return). She's just not being a serial killer about it.
AND YEAH, that's pretty much what I was going for for them. I wanted to keep the nuances of their relationship on how they're mutually toxic to one another since that's very interesting to see. There's no such thing as a "perfect" victim, as there are many that have done messed up things in response to what they've been put through but still desperately needing help or even an intervention from a reasonable authority figure, and Hibiki and Kanade could've been great examples of that. But one actively chooses to change while the other doesn't...at least in one of the interpretations of how their rewritten relationship could end as would be revealed in the Chapter 6 version of this. Ngl, I wasn't sure which interpretation I liked more as I can see both versions happening, with Kanade and Hibiki coming back together through the Tragedy as some events are able to give people an opportunity to bond and mend what's broken back together again, while other times not even a world-wide disaster will get someone to change and things remain broken due to one side having an unwillingness to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Both are feasible in this rewritten version and I decided to let this be something for other people to decide for themselves on whether or not Kanade and Hibiki can mend their relationship after being separated for so long and if the Tragedy can bring them back together through their charity events. After all, some people have their limits and Kanade still did a lot of horrible things to other people, so it really depends on whether or not you'd believe it'd possible for them to repair their relationship, even after so many years of not talking to one another. A possible rebuilt of their relationship that unfortunately gets nipped in the bud thanks to Mikado's killing game reverting them back to a state where their old toxic behavior was at it's peak, and one of them ending up killing and getting executed because of it. Either way, we could've had doomed siblings instead of...whatever the fuck canon is.
And trust me, me and my friend are right with you on that. We really wished Hibiki had survived and complain about it every now and then whenever we bring up Kanade and Chapter 3. It's just...such a waste to kill her off like that. My girl deserved better.
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mithomite · 6 months
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.
#EMH (pretending to be B'Elanna after having just SPRINTED down the hall): You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman would you ??;;#Tuvok: (in the most 'give it up' tone possible) ...Come with Me doctor =_=#Tuvok gets docked points for falling for the ol' 'cough cough im sick' excuse but gains them all back by getting suspicious and starting#an investigation all on his own in the background <3#Also Janeway being held captive and being just kinda pissed about the whole situation...yeah#HEHEHE I like this episode it's funny but also the stakes are high#Janeway sort of smirking and doing the 'come here' motion when that alien man was like 'do you know how to fix this?' - her swag.....#Janeway (captive and stressed beyond belief about the warp core): Yeah I have time to serve dom vibes#Tuvok - Chakotay - Janeway: Each having uniquely bad days#(Worst Security disaster ever - Got put in a morgue for hours - Held captive and threatened with death: + Voyager stranded)#I know Chakotay was unconscious for the morgue thing but still#Chakotay: -opens his eyes to see Tuvok standing there-#(they share a look like 'yeah it's some LIFE THREATENING scooby doo bullshit again')#Hey Chakotay maybe next time don't tell the imposter that you know they're an imposter right to their face <3#Just some tactical strategy for next time <3 <- I love him I'm just being a bitch HEHEHE it was funny to me#Doctor: Hey I know we're in the middle of a serious thing here but like. Why don't we. You know. Hang out???#Janeway: -sharp intake of breathe- ......ohhhh I don't really...DO hanging out.#YAY NAR~!!!!! GET HIS ASS~!!!#Nar I hope you live a simple but fulfilling life as a junk dealer or whatever it is you were talking about god bless <3#Doctor: Now that I might die I have some last requests v_v Captain...throw my diary away. DO NOT. READ IT. Tuvok...I told Neelix about that#rash you got on your ass. We laughed about it for weeks. Sorry.#and then I smile and giggle and ass 'ass rash' to the Tuvok lore#SNRKEHEHE DAMN. HE GOT HARRY TOO???#'Sorry I said you sucked absolute shit at playing the saxophone. I should have phrased it more delicately...damn it. It all becomes so clea#when you face the end.' (Harry: You said w hat????) SEVEN-!!#Seven: Stay over there computer boy =_=#SNRKEHEHEHHEHHAHAHAH#Janeway:....Is he...? / B'Elanna: NO. I've got him =_= I just deleted all that spam. He's FINE.#livetweeting
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kylejsugarman · 8 days
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jesse has such intrusive guilty thoughts about "betraying" jane and andrea by dating demi during the earlier days of their relationship that he accidentally calls her by their names a few times during conversation and even sex once, and its always such an awful experience because he cant exactly be like "i promise im not cheating on u, im just haunted by my dead girlfriends who i am convinced are not resting peacefully because i 'moved on' too quickly" and demi's already so insecure, she always says it's okay and that she believes it was just a mistake, but her lower lip still trembles for a second and she shrinks in a little on herself as if subconsciously fitting herself into someone else's shadow
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vaugarde · 12 days
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re: people on here immediately leaping to assume a rude person in public is just a poor baby autistic who doesnt mean anything bad and actually you are committing a micro-aggression by being appalled by that rude person:
if my brother was on this site, the discourse would be astronomical
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rxttenfish · 22 days
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i absolutely cannot let myself get started on another fic until im at least onto chapter 5 of caecilian but the temptation to write something of aaravi taking miranda monster hunting and describing the entire EVERYTHING there is real
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#mostly in the duality that is#what aaravi actually does as a monster slayer and the context that it exists within both in her own life and within the world#and with the fact that miranda doesnt actually sincerely identify as a monster nor care about that divide#to her this is landfolk on landfolk problems that merfolk have absolutely no involvement in#she only gets labelled a monster by landfolk who care about this and using criteria that wasnt made with merfolk in mind#and goes with it because really shes trying to do her job and serve an ambassador role and Whatever#its the same as her picking a gender basically at random. there wasnt a none of the above option that was offered nor applied#to her aaravi is basically a mercenary and thus her feelings are the same as a mercenary#shes not meaningfully different than anyone miranda already knows through bellanda#and aaravi has. complicated feelings about it.#aaravi has complicated feelings about all of this#miranda occupies a role like aaravi herself where she fails to fit into either side of a duality#but aaravi also has a rising guilt about her involvement that she has to explain to miranda in the first place#and all of this parallels miranda's role as princess too#about how little aaravi knows about her atrocities and what shes done and what it MEANS for her to be what she is#as someone who was never subjected to it and has no context for how bad it really is#theyre very much two sides of the same coin tbh#very alike each other but in opposite contexts#which tbh is part of why they work so well#its the combination of understanding and support and yet just enough challenge to stop them from buckling down harder#theyre able to call each other out because they know personally exactly whats happening in the others mind#which is also why i dont like ships that just wholeheartedly encourage aaravis whole everything without understanding whats going on#the same as why i hate ships and endings that have the other person just joining miranda as royalty#like. no. no these are not neutral endings here. you do not get to absolve anyones involvement here.
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