#her past AND her future. idk man. i just dont know

[nmoroder]

i know benjamin had a lot on his plate already but hear me out... an au where ayin for his reasons puts ben in charge of extraction team and not the arbiter who must have deserved to be there (not stating the reason. so don't immediately hate on A and all that. see the full text below for a load of details, and also english translation of text on pics 4 & 5)

it has the atziluth sephirot swap their colors (i've already did a post on color swap btw. but purely color) and the age of their filtered appearance; the full color swap (not just color change of department and uniform but colors of their hair, their bodies too) is required for original scheme to stay, with the colors corresponding to fixed sephirot and so on. names, too, would swap to what their respective kabbalah nodes should be and former benjamin is kind of pissed about his mentor's decision to give him work which is enough to drive a meaty human to insanity, even though after his escape he returned and tried to pry ayin off the plan in the earlier time, and overall he did all he could for the man. for him, the virtue would still be about the past and the future though as he'd have to come to terms with what ayin did to him, and his meltdown would probably have not the 'i want you to stay here with me and live at least somehow, i don't want to go' but instead 'i will make this place your tomb just like you did for me'. i guess it kinda sounds close to angela's feelings in ruina and that's also why both atziluth sephirot would've probably backed up her rebellion idk. its a fun little idea which blooms into a shitton of different things to think about

oh and also pics 4 and 5 have roland converse with library version of ben (he MUST be named binah at that point but i KNOW this will just bring confusion) and it's the quote from their first talk in original game. "i've dedicated my entire life to the wish of a single person", then roland asks "and the person's a rotten egg, eh?" to which ben explodes with OH THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT. they'd probably get along as well over their similar feelings about ayin, which is funny. still not sure whether the respective floors would've been swapped for them... i mean either hokma still stands for religion and binah for philosophy and ben being the current binah would take the philosophy floor, or it's just color swap and religion would be dark with stars and philosophy the white hall and all. the anomalies of both floors fit very well with the color schemes and overall topic and i dont wanna meddle into that really but ehh... food for thought ig

[slutsareteacherstoo]

I Hope Part 3 - Terry Richmond x Black OC

Black Fem! OC - Savannah (dark skinned, curvy, and disabled) x Terry Richmond (Gentle!Terry, Sweet!Terry, Nervous!Terry)

(I gotta get better at these tags, suggestions welcome!)

Summary: Terry finds himself a change of scenery to after the events of Rebel Ridge

Warnings/Things of Note: I made him cry 😭🤣 (idk i just feel like that’s important; THE MAN IS GRIEVING!!!)

Word count: 3K+ (3,093)

Author’s Note: Thank you for your patience. After I made my last post I was like lemme try and polish it, but then I added more and then i fell asleep. Been fighting sleep tryna finish this part. I dont like how this part ends because it doesn’t have all the descriptions I wanted but it’s part 3 complete and onto part 3. im also trying to not let myself not sharing anything because Imma be holding on it to it for who knows how long cuz life is beating my butt😵‍💫

So canonically, Terry was born in 1992. And they wrapped up filming in July 2022. A lot of folks have been using 30 for Terry’s age since thats how old Aaron is. And so i was like okay cuz in my mind this takes place a few months after Rebel Ridge and so i used the time period to my advantage and make it an important part of the story

So we are throwing it back a bit in time to start at the beginning of their story. I was rereading it like oh shit damn i did do something frfr but we gotta go chronologic for this to work.

It’s kinda proofread but i be missing words when i type (also its 2:30 in the morning so idk its probably mistakes in there) Comments and critiques are welcome 🤗

don’t do too much tho🌚 cuz apparently yall think you can talk to people anyhow on this internet.

Anyways. Enjoy. ☺️

Fall 2022

Terry was making his way to the library. He needed a place to charge his phone and to think before heading to his final destination to meet her. Sun shining, skin glistening with sweat and pedaling hard to the tune of metal, he focused on where he was going. And what his next steps would be.

He wanted something different. Something better. He was trying to be better. Someone new. He’d been out of the military for almost 5 years now. And for the past 2, he’d been trying to shed that skin. To cut those ties and be someone new. A man and not a machine.

It’s why he found himself not at home but more than 2000 miles away from it. Away from what happened some months ago. The grief he was holding was too much. The very much preventable death of his favorite cousin. The future he envisioned for the both of them and what was to come instead. The loss of camaraderie and brotherhood of his fellow Marines while also knowing he needed to get out while he still could.

With his desired destination now in full view, he eased his pace a bit, preparing to slow down and eventually stop. The music in his ears was coming to a crescendo when he finally got off of his bike. He pulled his blue backpack for the lock and began the short walk to the bike locker. He hoisted it upward to fit in the rack with the other bikes.

After closing the locker, he decided to take a swig of water while looking at the landscape before him. Body turned to face the direction he’d previously came from. He was taking in the urban landscape, a concrete jungle lined with palm trees. A different view from the country back home. After taking the moment to center himself, Terry decided to enter the library.

He was making his way through the sliding doors, being met with the building’s cool air immediately. And when the song he was listening to faded, a different melody came through but it wasn’t from his phone. It was someone speaking. A smooth and gentle voice that resonated with Terry strongly. The person was saying something about frozen food. He took his buds out, ear by ear, to see where the voice was coming from. Hearing it in fullness and clarity, the feeling of resonance grew inside of him. Almost like recognition.

“So when we’re shopping for food, it can seem difficult to try and eat healthier. The fresh fruits and veggies seem to be more expensive than other items. So it makes sense that we want to go for what’s cheaper. Especially if we have mouths to feed,” said the voice.

A chorus of agreement in yeses, yups, and mhmms came from the direction of the voice.

“That’s why I like to get some of mine from the freezer.”

The chorus sounded again in wonder, confusion and intrigue. Terry’s interest was piqued too. Since he was going to start figuring out all this for himself again, he might as well listen. He finally looked and faced his body in the group’s direction, standing straight with hands crossed in front of him at attention. And she had it. The group’s conductor captivated him immediately. He didn’t know why but it felt important.

Her hair was in low puff and covered by a magenta bandanna. Translucent lavender glasses were the gateway to deep, dark brown cat eyes, lined in black. Terry couldn’t help but be drawn in by their allure. Thin, gold oversized hoops framed her face and gave warmth to her deep brown skin. The rest of it was covered by a white mask with light blue straps.

That actually gave him pause. Was he supposed to be wearing one? Maybe he missed a sign, distracted by the captivating conductor. Performing a quick scan, he hadn’t seen one, nor many other patrons wearing them as well. He’d spotted maybe 4 or 5 people outside the seated group and conductor. Some wore thin, black and light blue ones. Others wore more sturdy-looking ones? People had them in different colors—white, black, pink green. Maybe he could ask someone for one or why they were still wearing them.

Terry was dedicated to listening. He really was. She was talking to these folks about trying to eat good while stretching a dollar. Especially because he was gonna be staying in this expensive ass place for a minute. He was taking in all the details. Including the woman’s orange crochet cardigan and the white ribbed shirt stretched over her large chest. The white shirt was tucked into black yoga pants, waistband showcasing her soft, round belly. At a certain point, she’d put her hand on her hip; the orange cardigan behind her elbow now showing her wide set hips and full thighs that clung to the fabric. The rest of the material flared out at her knees over white light brown running shoes.

Terry heard something about freezing cooked rice. Something something starch profile. But it was the woman’s that had him at attention. He couldn’t see behind her but…he was NOT supposed to be checking out this random stranger in a random place. Being captivated by a masked maiden or whatever, this was neither the time nor place but damn she was everything.

Terry had thought these thoughts were all in his head, until the library worker behind him cleared their throat loudly for the audience of the one and only Terry Richmond. He was blushing with embarrassment and mortification, turning to meet the worker behind him. He smiled nervously and hoped the apology in his eyes came through. So much for trying to better man.

“I’m sorry about that. Is there a place I can charge my phone,” he asked while adjusting his backpack.

The worker pointed in the opposite direction of Savannah and her group. “You can go over there.” The worker was wearing a thin, black mask so he couldn’t see the bottom half of their face. But the expression in their eyes made it clear that he could actually go to hell, needed to keep it pushing and do so expeditiously. “Thank you,” Terry peered down at the worker’s badge to see their name, “Casey,” and made his way to get some juice for his phone.

Terry found an empty spot at a desk, back towards the wall and face towards the rest of the library. He could see the place with a much wider vantage point, but the conductor from earlier now out of his range. He ought to feel ashamed of himself and he did. Terry shook his head and sighed. He took a few calming breaths. In and out. In and out. Feeling a bit more comfortable, he pulls out his phone and charger, plugging it into the wall. He unlocks his phone to look at the address saved in his phone for the hundredth time. As if he hadn’t memorized it by heart. One of his safe spaces. Being with her. Figuring out what he’s going to say to her and how everything will work when he sees her again for the first time since the funeral.

He plugs in the library’s address to calculate the distance between the two of them. It was only 37 minutes. Not too bad surprisingly. Although, that might change whenever his phone got to 100 percent. His auntie had told him to be wary about the traffic. That he should overestimate at least 30 minutes to 1 hour for wherever he wanted to go, because you never knew how far you’d be set back and you never wanted to tempt fate.

He couldn’t wait to see her again. It’d only been 3 months since Mike’s funeral. A couple more since the life altering events of Shelby Springs.

— - - -

The navigation on his phone alerted Terry that his auntie’s house was coming up soon on the right. He decided to stop the bike and walk with it to the front door. The closer he got to the familiar grey house, the more he

felt the dam of emotions begin give. He walked the bike up the driveway and set it between the garage door and the big truck. Stopping in front of the red door, he drew in a few deep breaths. He was trying to steady his nerves. Terry didn’t want to break down in front of the woman’s steps. At least not in public, he didn’t want to embarrass the woman. When felt ready enough, he rapped 4 times into the hollow of the white door.

Terry heard movement from the other side, and then the clicking of locks. The door opened to reveal a woman with golden brown skin and salt-and-pepper curls. She was wearing a green blouse with wide-legged white pants and brown strappy sandals. Her eye color matched Terry’s green-blue-grey. There was no mistaking that he and Taylor Richmond were cut from the same cloth. Upon seeing her, he hugged Taylor immediately. Terry was lost in the feeling of her, the smell of her—a signature brown sugar and cinnamon. It reminded him that this was a safe space. That he could be himself here—no questions, no judgement; no putting him on a pedestal, calling him a hero; no pity and no blame from others who weren’t there.

Her nephew didn’t even let her get a word out. Taylor only let out a yelp of surprise before embracing her nephew back and chuckling. His hold on her was tight. Good lord, this boy, she thought. When she heard the sob that ripped through Terry though…oh Lord, this boy. She pulled back slightly to get a look at him. His eyes were a sea of sorrow and ache. Even in this vulnerable state, she sensed relief in him letting it out. His frame was still slightly bowed from embracing hers. She held his face in her hands.

“Well, hello to you too. If you missed me that bad, you should’ve told me to pick you up at the airport,” she said with a raised brow and wiped his tears with her thumbs. That made Terry chuckle.

“Hi, Auntie,” he said, “And I’m sorry. I didn’t want to put you out.”

“Terry, you’re literally staying in my house for God knows how long. And you’re my nephew. I’m not braving that traffic to the airport for just anybody,” Taylor said with a furrowed brow.

Terry turned his head from his auntie so he’d have space to roll his eyes, mostly at himself. Taylor caught him though. She lightly tapped him in the center of his chest with the back of her freshly manicured hands, bangles ringing in unison.

“Now, you stop all that and get in here,” Taylor said in a mocking tone.

“Yes, ma’am,” Terry obliged with a few nods, wiping at his eyes again for good measure and tugged on his backpack straps.

He followed his aunt and crossed the threshold of her home, making sure to remove his shoes before he ventured further and placed his backpack down. Taylor was making her way to the kitchen, where he guessed she was earlier before announcing his arrival. Terry took a moment to admire some of the living room. It had a grey sectional with a maroon throw blanket draped across its back. The walls were decorated with photos of his family over the years, his auntie and uncle in different places around the world, a photo of him and Mike as kids playing in the front yard caught his eye. He walked toward the picture and reached up for it. He ghosted his hand over the frame and glass and stared at it in awe and remembrance. Terry felt his aunt’s gaze on him before she spoke.

“I remember that summer clear as day. You two were a menace with those water balloons,” Taylor said, the sounds of wooden spatula hitting the edge of a pot rang through the space.

Terry looked over his shoulder at his aunt, a look of disbelief with a hint of mischief behind it.

“I wouldn’t really say menace,” he said, trailing off a bit.

“Please, the neighbors gave me and your uncle hell over it,” Taylor exclaimed, pointing the spatula at Terry through the view space of the breakfast bar and upper cabinets, “especially because you got a lot of the other kids involved in that scheme. An entire summer, you two planned that out,” Taylor said shaking her head, while returning some spices to the cabinet.

“Well, you told us to make friends and that’s exactly what we did!” Terry said with a laugh, quickly turning back to the wall to return the frame. The laugh left a smile that brought wrinkles to the edges of his eyes. Taylor was happy to see it. It was a genuine one. And she missed seeing it on her nephew’s face.

Taylor playfully rolled her eyes and gestured for Terry to sit counter.

“Come over here and wash up. I know you’re hungry.”

Terry bounced over to his aunt, joining her in the kitchen and washing his hands. He reached up and across for plates and utensils from muscle memory. Terry waited for his aunt to make her plate to then make his own (she wouldn’t let him when he offered). He opened the fridge for 2 bottles of water, and balanced them with his plate and their utensils. He then went to join her at the dining table.

After a quick prayer over the food, the two dug in. Terry groaned in satisfaction and appreciation. He missed good food like this. He could cook himself, but a big part that made the food good was that his Auntie Taylor put her heart and soul into the food she made; and did every time but he felt and knew she made this specifically for him.

“Thank you, Auntie. For the food and letting me stay here with you for a while,” Terry said graciously.

“Of course, baby. It’s nothing at all. It’ll be nice to have another person ‘round here,” Taylor said with her fork in hand, using it to emphasize the space they were in. “And besides, I’m not gonna be the only one in that kitchen. All them years working with Mr. Liu and Ken, I know you got some good meals in that brain of yours. And you’ll also be buying groceries. Lord knows the last time you were here, you almost ate us out of house and home.”

“Okay. So, rent and groceries. I can do that,” Terry agreed.

“No, I don’t need your money for rent. You keep that.” Taylor said firmly

Terry stared his aunt down, but Taylor Elise Richmond was better. So Terry stood down.

“Yes, ma’am.” he said lowly, scratching the back of his neck. He hadn’t said it under his breath, only accepting his aunt at her word. She was a reasonable woman but a staredown with her would always be a losing battle, a lesson he’d learned spending many summers here in her home.

“Now, you’ll stay in the backhouse. I put fresh sheets and towels down for you,” Taylor began. “You can enter it through the gate by the driveway. It’s got everything over there, except washer and dryer.” She stood from the table and grabbed a set of keys from the counter. “These are yours. Please do not lose them.” Terry nodded at her.

“Hmm…let’s see what else am I forgetting?” Taylor said tapping her pointing index finger against her chin. “I can’t think of anything else right,” Taylor added as she turned head to the kitchen clock.

“Oh shoot,” Taylor exclaimed. “I gotta go drop a plate of food to my neighbor.”

“Here, let me do it. I’ll clear the table and make the plate,” Terry offered after getting out of his chair and began do what he said. “I know you did a lot, preparing everything for me when I got here. So I got it.”

Taylor sighed at herself mostly. Her nephew was a persistent and she was a bit tired.

“Okay,” she relented, leaning against the counter with her hands up in mock surrender. Taylor watched as Terry put the leftover food in a plastic Tupperware container. He removed the pots and pants from the stove and placed them in the sink to soak.

Terry rounded the corner to meet his aunt at the counter. He picked the keys up.

“So, which way am I going?” he asked her.

“Just right across. It’ll be the house with the red flower decorations,” Taylor responded.

“Thank you,”

“No, thank you.”

Terry headed to the front door with the food in hand. He set it down quickly on the entry table to put on his shoes.

“Oh, one more thing,” Taylor went to meet him up front. She reached for the first drawer of the plastic chest nestled under the table and pulled. Returning to a neutral position, she placed a black face mask on the lid.

Terry glanced down at the item.

“They sick over there or something?”

“No. Well, something like that. It’s just better for her, when we go over there.”

Terry nodded and put the mask on. Taylor unlocked the door for him and gestured to his delivery destination across the street.

“I’ll be back real soon,” Terry said, kissing his aunt on the cheek.

Now on the sidewalk, he checked both sides of the street for traffic before cutting across. He spotted the house with the red flower directions and knocked on the door 3 times. He heard a voice call out, “Coming!”. Terry was tapping his thumbs on the top of the container when he realized he forgot the poor neighbor’s name. His aunt had told him but it slipped from his short-term memory. When the lock clicked, he resolved he’d ask the nice, older lady.

The door opened and he went to introduce himself but he was stopped in his tracks.

“Hi,” the woman said. “You must be Terry?”

Terry nodded, “Yes, how’d you know that?”

“Your aunt. She said a nephew was staying over, that and your eyes. You two are definitely the same. Thank you for bringing this over.” the woman said. “And my name is Savannah,” she added, holding her hand out for a handshake.

It wasn’t just any woman. It was his conductor from the library earlier today. And now he knew her name.

Thanks for reading! Until next time😇

————-

Big big shoutouts to @kumkaniudaku @megamindsecretlair @earthchica @theereina @brattyfics @uzumaki-rebellion @sweettea-and-honeybutter @mymindisneverhere yall are fantastic your writing has shown me that i can push myself and im capable of writing more and like get in my craft frfr recently 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[tapwater118]

bfdia 17 and tpot 15 spoilers

bfdia 17

needle’s votes were counted separately, which means pencil is out, which is sad but also funny because now she gets to host with the rest of the wtfers. oh yeah they get to host now! i love that, also balloony just warpdriving out killed me. loved the mini freesmart reunion

fries actually taking the immunity was also a welcome surprise, we didnt really need pin to get tortured more this late in the season. i also guess at this point there isnt really gonna be a merge so much as a bunch of singleton teams, buts thats fine imo. coinpin :)

loved all the little cameos in the mall, very fun. also leafy! didnt really have too much screen time but oughhh they were teasing her for so long i almost lost hope. so very close to the first ever bookleaf interaction

the main event of course is tennis ball and nickel’s excellent adventure. if i had a nickel for every time a random donut line from bfb was justified by bfdia i would have two nickels: past nickel and future nickel. its nickel’s fault gaty got eliminated btw he lured that bug up there. he also caused all of tpot 15 by kicking the yoylite into the future so THANKS BUDDY

overall very funny episode! as much as i hate to say it i think needle is going to go here, she was very close to elimination last time and she also didn’t really have much to do this time. nickel is also a solid possibility due to him destabilizing the fabric of spacetime, which sources tell me is not a very “cash money” thing to do

anyway time for The Horrors

tpot 15

nickel i am going to throttle you

i predicted basketball was gonna be out but it doesnt mean im happy about it. also tree staying in over robot flower was a shock, i thought people really liked her?? poor thang her self esteem is in the toilet now. at least they got to fly away on a dragon to get lesbian married together

i love love love how theyre using the rejects more its wonderful (the pda short was definitely a test to see if people would like the rejects as characters im sure of it). itrd trying to replace firey to make himself relevant inadvertently made relevant from people editing him over firey i love it

ive seen people say they dont like the time travel but me? im eating this up its so good, wonderfully silly depiction of the butterfly effect, its perfect for bfdi. the host continuously being changed was a wonderful bit, and host with a screen! there were so many callbacks for the bfdi geeks in the crowd (me), i hope they do more with the tfi style it is so nice to watch

PENCIL CRASH OUT ARC TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR HALLELUJAH thank you one for getting her on the show. actually this crash out and the resulting timeline devastation is the exact reason one rigged pencil to get it. poor pencil man she needs friends

the finale of the episode with everyone huddling together as reality falls apart honestly got to me. icy running over to me with book is everything to me. her last moments and she chooses to spend them with book sndbejuxhsbansn

ok uh elimination predictions probably tree from dpya but maybe marker?? idk maybe his fans wont like him green. from team two i would like it to be grassy but i know hes gonna get the most votes again somehow. sorry taggy it might be your time to go

idk how to end this

[flo-zoinks]

cop car and I bet on losing dogs by Mitski are Jack Marston to me.. he’s so dog metaphor motif you know? Like in my head John’s OBVIOUSLY represented w a wolf, and like idk Abigail a dog maybe? Like, she’s sweet but can be fierce. Guard dog type stuff. And she’s settled down with John. But Jack? My boy is a coyote. Not as beautiful and strong as a wolf, and not as domesticated and sweet as a dog. No, guy is in this awkward middle. He’s his mama’s boy but god, is he exactly like his father. But he’s not truly either one. Anyways. Idk how this went from Mitski to animal motifs but idk anyone to send random Jack yapping to.. I LOVE YOU JACK MARSTON!! I LOVE YOU ANIMAL MOTIFS!! and coyotes are my fave animal but whatever.. !

How did you know I love mitski..and jack marston ..and COMBINED😧

Your yap makes a lot of sense!! I love ur take on this boo

The lyrics of Cop Car I think could definitely portray his character if looked at that way, so much of it is so specifically similar.

Eg first lines: "I get mean when I'm nervous like a bad dog"

Considering Jack's anger he shows, as a response to the environment he was grown up in that caused so much stress, and nervousness, it coming out negatively like a "bad dog", (also similar to how he believes he comes from a rough, uncivilized background represented as a dog, which is a very uncivil and rough animal, he expresses he sees himself as a product of that environment), fitting very well in my opinion

Another line of: "I dont think about the past, it's always there anyway"

The repetition of that line comes of as denial, like she's trying to tell herself that even if she doesnt actually follow it. Jack's entire future and life is centered around that past, his becoming of a gunslinger, his murder of Ross, his cold cut off attitude is all a result of his past in the gang and family's involvement in that gang culture of the late 1800s. By 1914, Jack is seemingly a shell of a person, with "nothing to live for" as he says, and attached to the past as he goes to kill the man who ruined his family many years ago and often reference his past in small lines. However, Jack seems to still be trying to be independent and become and feel like his own person away from that past, which I think could be represented by that line trying to tell himself and deny he doesn't think of the past. The repeition also being in "its always there anyway" could show how he is so influenced by that old gang past and family past its shown so obviously every day to him by things like his gunslinger outfit and weapons.

Finally (although not the only other line you could pick): the line: "I miss riding horses, I miss running fast"

Obviously, Jack still rides horses in 1914. But this line creates imagery of a carefree, happy atmosphere of the past in which riding horses was an activity of joy rather then just a thing you do. One of the happiest times you see Jack in 1907 and 1911 is when John takes him horse riding, for instance when they go "riding fast" as John challenges him to a race. So perhaps you could take this line too as a reference, if looked that way.

Arent that many lines in cop car only about 3 other unique ones lmfaoo

As for I Bet On Losing Dogs, I think theres less that specifically could be used as a reference but the whole in general I get u gives it off too.

Eg when she says "someone to watch me die" , the line itself sounds like Mitski craves for someone to watch her at her most vulnerable, and be there where someone never normally would be unless very close to them. Someone to "see" her past all other artificial things and as total person. Jack doesn't have this, Jack has nobody to watch him die. So the line could be used to reference Jack's loneliness, and how much he internally craves someone to see him as a loving family member would, as all who have have left or just died in front of him. Obviously Jack would never say that, as he puts on a hard front exterior to protect himself from someone dying or leaving him again, but the want doesn't leave.

As for the animal representation, I totally get you!! Considering how much in 1914 Jack seemingly tries to feel like his Father, referencing him as himself often (eg in the line "I'm John Marston's boy!"), in addition to the fact other people perceive him as his Father, definitely I think shows that they would be represented by a similar animal.

Of course, not the same animal as its represented time and time again that Jack strives to separate himself too, and no matter how much he tries will always feel like a "black sheep" next to his Father.

So a coyote totally works for him! Especially with coyotes as very agitated animals, and only aggressive when threatened, yet when aggressive can be extremely dangerous. My only disagreement would be that coyotes are strong pack animals, whilst Jack, or atleast adult Jack, about anything but. Then again, you could argue Jack was a pack animal to start, but got separated from them.

I think his animal would be a Golden Jackal, in my opinion. Jackals are very wary of humans, and when threatened can be aggressive. But generally, will shy away and stay further from other predators silently. They aren't above smaller animals however, as they are known to even eat foxes. They're smaller then wolves, but often mistaken for wolves or coyotes.

Awww Abigail as a guard dog I could totally see !! I could see her as a guard dog that's been adopted by old people to become a normal house pet. Lots of guard dogs come from strict and often cruel environments, as no dog is born to be aggressive on command, but taught. This could perhaps parallel her environment growing up. Especially If a dog were adopted to a 'normal' household, that whilst still grateful and trying their hardest sometimes make mistakes as a result of their old environment giving them a negative reputation.

Thanks for yapping to me!! What do you think?? And happy new year ♡♡♡❤❤☝️☝️

[fictionfixations]

watching black butler for the first time and just have to ask

does anyone know why this is called english dub?? (on crunchyroll)

cause it has both jp and en but i spent a few moments being so utterly confused on where the jp one was because i read the title and not underneath 💀

i mean. i think theres been instances where when adding the movies they have separate ones that are the eng dub and the other in jp. so like. did it use to be that way then for some reason they made it into the same thing and just forgot to change the name??

???????

also wheres book of murder

also it was a joy to be like partway through s2 and look at the wiki of black butler then realize theres parts that are just entirely anime only and now im confused on wtf is canon and whats not. like like i was looking through it cause i wanted to see how far the latest episode manga chapters wise is and then check how many chapters there are in comparison and wow we still have a bit

it was like 1-6 thats manga and then a bunch thats filler (and some not? but still a lot of filler) except my memory is shit and i literally cant remember whats happened in specific episodes 😭😭😭

like i mean anime-only stuff can be good when done right, its just black butler is a little confusing for me even without the extra stuff.....

i kinda wish i knew this beforehand so i could just skip it (and idk maybe go back once i finish everything else but so it wouldnt affect my impression of stuff) because the way i was just so confused on what was going on 💀????

like i went into this with a very basic understanding of what happened in the story (and also some major manga spoilers lmfao? well i think theyre major spoilers i have no clue) and then.

i feel like i need to like go and look through the wiki of anime-only episodes and their summary to refresh my memory on what happened there so i can be like. no. that did not happen in the manga

so

so let me get this straight theres no angel stuff right (or at least not yet idk for all i know theres angels in the future)

theres not the the the wolf hound thing right? i dont think? he hasnt appeared in book of circus so i assume not. unless the timeline is very much out of order and it happens in the future and circus is in the past idk man

also the the ciel's parents being melded together i dont think thats canon either?

nor is i think whatever happened with the queen??????

i genuinely couldnt wrap my head around the explanation given of what happened to her so okay at one point she looks young and that might be her husbands body and then the next shes dead and then the next shes old again and apparently theres a fake which one is the fake is it the old lady or the young girl i have no clue 😭😭😭

i thought the the flower ring i think elizabeth's. ..................maid?? i forget. that she made and then it made its way to ciel i think thats cool

also i think grell came back with ..................their chainsaw (im so utterly confused on grell's pronouns because one moment they're referred to as a girl and another as a guy? i think? unless that didnt happen and i was just so tired i misread subtitles. everytime i was like okay so she/her someones like referring to grell as a guy or something and im just sat here like WHICH IS IT!?!?!? maybe genderfluid idfk. so yknow what sure get it king/queen and everything in between) but that didnt happen.

but tbh i think i just got lost in the sauce man 💀

also i dont think anything in s2 is canon? or well. a good majority isnt? tbh i watched s1 and s2 so close together i genuinely cant remember what was in which

also i have literally no clue what was about that moon drop(???) thing i retained like zero memory of what it does

also someone give ciel a break holy shit the bad touch adults are after him and now it might also be people his age????? who are kinda freaks????

or well i dont think alois(was that his name i forgot) wanted him wanted him he just kinda wanted to like torture him or something. and kill him. ...tbh i forgot. bruh i only watched s2 a day ago and my recollection of it is just gone 💀. but also still. kinda a weirdo

like ah. demon ciel. ...i dont think that actually happened also so weird to watch all that then book of circus none of it happened

.........im gonna be honest i thought it was cooler for ciel to have his soul eaten by sebastian like hes always said and stuff

also genuinely gives me like blue exorcist vibes?? like the last couple of episodes of this one season were anime only i think? and i go to next season and theyre repeating conversations and its like they never even bonded or something and im just like didnt this happen already (like there was a question about birthdays or something i think that they already had) and then i look at the crunchyroll comments and its like 'btw guys those last few episodes were anime-only' so like OH

man i miss crunchyroll comments

i think they were removed cause they were like spamming this gay anime with negative stuff but like bruh the amount of stuff id just completely miss if not for the comments dude. like

like i had no idea that jjk animators were like being treated really badly?? or like of anime hiatuses'????

or like that theres post credit scenes? dude i never check stuff after credits even if theres like a very obvious gap in the bar thatd indicate there might be something there because i just dont want to see spoilers about the next episode 💀💀💀

im not even joking ive literally done exactly that then i read something thats like about the post credit scene of this one episode and im just like WHAT

theres a WHAT????

and i went back and checked and low and behold THERE IT WAS

kinda reminds me of my bad habit where when i was new to anime i just completely skipped until after the opening. i didnt watch the beginning because i didnt want recaps and the way i missed important scenes and never realized until someone mentioned it and im just like what??

😭😭😭😭

trying to get into the habit of checking after credits now but man.

anyway if anyone has extra knowledge about black butler that i should know while watching please let me know

id usually rely on the comments for this but aha crunchyroll comments are gone so aw shucks

[dullanyan]

i watched all of higurashi gou and the end of sotsu. i will post my review

(HIGURASHI SPOILERS, NOT JUST FOR GOU/SOTSU BUT FOR THE VN AS WELL)

these are my thoughts after watching gou, just copy-pasted from discord.

i think the actual worst thing abt gou is the fact that its not unwatchable. it does have some interesting parts, and i am a huge sucker for the antics the main crew gets up to. but in general its disrespectful? like to satoko especially. i can believe that her and rika drift apart a bit at st lucia, but rika is too committed to making sure everything is good forever, i really doubt she would just like not talk to satoko sure i can see satoko being like no im fine i dont need any help but rika knows her. she would know thats a lie and they'd talk it out overall its very dedicated to making satoko be really dense.

and the same for sotsu

honestly, i think the loops/eua didnt need to happen at all. in fact, in my head, none of it was canon. even the ending felt pretty dumb of like "oooohhh, we're the only 2 looping entities, we gotta avoid each other foreverrrr" like man shut up. its trying to hard to be toxic yuri but it just sucks bc its 2 characters that shouldnt be going thru that. what i CAN believe is like. either satoko and rika going to st lucia, getting into a physical fight over it, coming to terms with the fact satoko doesnt like it and its hurting her so she transfers from there to the normal high school the others went to. OR them getting in a fight over it beforehand and agreeing to go their separate ways to 2 different schools. eua felt completely pointless honestly. the loops were so... nothing. also i feel a little weird abt the teppei redemption. not that he cant change and stuff but yknow............................ also they literally remembered satoshi so last second and threw him in there HNFDKHDFNK "oh im awake now!!! :D" its been 4 years man the fight scene where they go thru different loops was pretty cool i guess. kind of felt waaaay over the top though when they went super saiyan miko mode. its cool for what it is, but also, it feels so excessive based on everything else in higurashi. honestly gou/sotsu probably wouldnt be.......... horrible? if it were its own anime and the vns didnt exist. but they do and so these just kind of.... really tarnish them imo. which is why i dont consider that shit canon. also its just weirdly abusive to hanyuu for no reason. idk what thats all about. she literally only got to have 1 good moment the whole fucking series. wadda hell man. the only good things i think gou brings to the table is a peek into their futures a bit, like what happens after w their middle/high school lives. the rest of that stuff didnt need to happen though im thinking abt it all and how little the main cast really got to talk to satoko and rika thru all this shit. when it came to that plot, its like the rest of them didnt even matter. you're telling me rena wouldnt pick up on satokos feelings and talk to her abt it??? how they wouldnt like try to figure out whats going on at all? its stupid. it focuses way too much on rika and satoko, neglecting the importance of the others. ultimately, i know why this anime was made and what its purpose is. i know its to appeal to the much larger audience of higurashi fans anime onlys that were in it for the cute girls killing each other. it was trying to do stuff for the vn readers as well, but it just fell flat bc in the end none of that shit needed to happen. i know its stupid to criticize a story on what should or shouldnt have happened, but you know. knowing what i DO abt the characters and how the vn stresses the importance of talking to your friends to work out your problems... it just, sucks that they threw that all away in favor of a ton of gore. at the end of the day, im not like, mad or insulted this exists. its whatever. plus it puts some higurashi merch back on the market so not everything is ultra rare 20 year old figures for $700. it doesnt really exist for me, as a fan of the vns. i dont even think its horrible, it had some enjoyable parts to it. its just not good, is all. thanks for coming to my higurashi essay.

those are my discord ramblings. now i ramble here.

for sotsu, genuinely it felt like i didnt need to watch the first 11/12 episodes. yeah, it provided new perspectives and included how things got that way, but... i read the summaries of those episodes and got the gist of it all. if i had more respect for the plot they were going for, i might've watched em. but i dont like it! it was a really weird character assassination of satoko.

i can believe her behavior to some extent- not wanting to lose her best friend but not wanting to subject herself to constant misery in an academy she cant keep up with. again, i feel like eua didnt need to exist, and they couldve actually worked it out from there. especially if they let anyone else like... matter? let them talk and reason with their friends?

tl;dr if you like the vns, generally gou/sotsu isnt for you i'd say.

[mira-rachel]

I really REALLY love hazbin hotel, truly! But i have many criticism, and i havent watched them yet.

No hate, but the concept of heaven and hell in this uh, universe is a bit... flawed, in a sense. I do enjoy the character design, and oh God does Helluva Boss scratch that itch in my mind- idk, it brings me happiness.

Im not even gonna touch on how some of it doesnt make sense in a religious perspective, this rant is solely on hell

Warning, i havent seen the show. But have seen the pilot and fanfics and headcannons lmao, feel free to correct me if im wrong!

Idk if this is true, but I heard that Angel Dust was a mafia before he died? And idk if he feels bad for all the poor souls he fluffed up, bcs i havent read or seen anything adressing it.

Truly, truly I love Angel Dust, like honey, I will str**gle Val for you, but do you actually want to repent 😭😭😭

And, if, IF he does go to heaven- will the residents even welcomed him? If redemption exist, then heaven needs to be on board with this. Not just the people in charge, but the citizens as well. If you just, thrust a sinner thats been 'redeemed' into heaven, and heaven didnt take notice until the redeemed appears at their doostep- how would the angels react?

Will that redeemed survive? Hell no. Well, depends. Whats their rules up in heaven? I hope season 2 showcase heaven's reactions, and maybe Emily will be fed up and join the demons down bellow??? That would be cool!!!

Ehm,back to the disscussion.

Keep in mind that I havent seen the show, but I have A LOT of qustions about redemption- bcs its so much complicated if you think about it, plus, redemptiom in hell??? Boy we gotta set up some rules.

First, what is redemption actually???

Redemption is-

an act of atoning for guilt, a fault, or a mistake, or the state of having atoned. an act or the state of being rescued. 

According to this

Im just going to use this meaning, bcs theres different meanings and i want to save the headache.

Basing off of this, you could argue that someone is redeemed by being rescued- which is uhm, unsual if your rescuer is the daughter of Lucifer, the next queen of hell. Hello?? I mean, in some swap aus, Adam being the one to 'rescue' the sinners make sense bcs he was a human too, like those sinners, he must've know(I assumed) the pain sinners go through. And, if we make the plot like 'oh heaven can make mistakes' then actually find a sinner thaat has little to no criminal background and is very 'angelike' and is someone who wants to change for the better, AND ACTUALLY GIVE THAT CHARACTER A MONOLOGUE ABOUT THEIR PAST AND THEM ACTUALLY WANTING TO FIX THEIR MISTAKES-

And question, if someone wants to be redeemed, and they are in hell, do whatever crimes and sins they did in hell will be hold accountable???

As I said, if you want to make redemption make sense, it has many complex layers...

Okay okay, im being sidetracked-

Charlie, the daughter of Lucifer being a 'rescuer' doesnt really make sense in Hazbin Hotel, UNLESS, she once had a sinner friend who goes through so much in the real world, but end up getting fluffed and end up in hell, where they met Charlie and still go so much, but was killed(either by angels or other demons). AFTER THAT, then the idea that Charlie, a hellborn who never felt what humans/sinners felt make sense to want to make sinners repent so that they dont feel what her sinner friend feel.

THAT, would be an amazing concept to explore. A hellborn whose sheltered all her life, met a sinner who goes through the toughness of life, then they bond over... anything, something, and learned about eachother. The sinner has hope that there is a better future, while the hellborn realizes theres more than meets the eye and that they're perception of reality has been scewed.

If Charlie advocats for hellborn's rights, then it still make sense bcs she IS an hellborn, and knows a bit of what her people suffered. Hell, Vaggie being her right hand man would only make it make sense, since Vaggie was a former angel, then she can give Charlie insights of heaven.

Thats all for my rent, bcs am very tired rn and i have so much to do and eheosjksskdnsk

See yall next time, bye~☆

[toestalucia]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

im easy...........and like too much.......personally ! i prefer akira with the older wizards, ive talked about being in those ship tags ummmm a lot<3 i cant narrow it down further......the twins are an exception but ive been over that in the past. atm i like emu with mafuyu, rui, nene & akito a lot :D theres def more (like honami i think would be cute! and i do like her with tsukasa too, but emu tsukasa besties....), but im like twice her age so i think about that stuff so rarely LOLLLL i thought hard about the rest of my muses but.......?????????? eight/machina....perhaps...........sofia/forte.......yeong/tara......(cagli teehee)

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

i lov drama. with gran it comes natural cuz welcome to ur 'assuming things w/out asking' and 'thinks way too much into the future where they dont want to settle down' captain. i think akiras the most tender of all of them? and most likely to actually bring up issues? sofia is fun because i think about the event where she Doesnt speak in opposites and micah ends up rly confused........being accepted with her weird speech patterns..... natsume too, either staying at the accepting his weird behavior (jumping, scared expression, running) or having the 'i can see youkai' convo....yknow.....its good...i know tanuma alrdy had a convo like that (UNREAL CONVO i miss it) but yknow. Overall ! anything. mostly. theres some 'ohhh angst' topics im not interested in, so i think most stuff stay on the more lighthearted/loving side tho

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

feel like a fraud everytime i say that i personally wont write akira with some of the 20yo's cuz im always close to deciding to make akira closer to 30. and then i say i like akira with figaro & oz......the ancient ppl......

are you selective when shipping?

rather than selective i just dont ask ppl........and i have no interest in making relationship calls nor liking them........i want to see where the writing goes first cuz i knoowwww i sometimes say gran would say x but then i write it and y happens yknow LOLLLLLL i'd be open to jumping into stuff on discord or something tho i think ? i think i could jump into romance stuff no problemo then cuz it'd feel slightly separated from here...?! cuz idk but theres something when i open this blog that i......its a very slowburn......if ure willing to spend some months writing so gran can become more accepting of the idea then its go go go. does this make sense. well either way im not sure tbh. grans a bit added difficulty too considering how i deal with their age LOLLL since cygames is pushing 15yo still. which gives me a headache seeing how the summer events etc are explicitly yearly.....i cannot write act3 gran as a teen, not when theres a political engagement with alliah like cmon....i refuse..........but since ure following this blog uve alrdy read this stuff in my rules/about LOL

either way akiras easier with romance. i just dont approach ppl about it. whenever i make that farmsim blog i wanna be more casual with this stuff tbh...T_^ for funsies............write some yearning...

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

not far at all. LMFAOOOOOOOO i use that tag very liberally. its unlikely im writing that stuff anyway....

does one have to ask to ship with you?

:DDDDDDDDDD if i ask u we've probably written for years & years && its starting to reach crush-territory anyway (hello kaitlyn) but man idk what it is....romance is just difficult to write on tomblr rn for me...gran does not make this easier. the issues r endless. can i offer u akira.

how often do you like to ship?

(person whos always in ship tags) (smiley face) (smiley face) (smiley face) can u get into mhyk for akira....or farmsims....................ill ship everything in there.....

are you multiship?

YAAAAAA the idea of having 1 ship on my blog doesnt excite me. even tho i dont write romance atm. LMFAOABKAJD

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

do u wanna hear about the akifi doujins ive read. or the akifau art where faust puts a flowercrown on akiras head.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

THIS IS HOW DIANTHA/CLARISSE CAN STILL WIN. i am also a sabrina/leona fan. 'did they interact' no but they should. ppl who lost their husband(s). ppl who both should be AT THE CLUB. me/canaria. me/crystal

finally, how does one ship with you?

u like my posts & listen to my ramblings and i twirl my hair and send u more asks and then it just happens. foolproof.

tagged by: @convxction faty my beloved my everything u should do it for ur multi too.... tagging: @shiningstages kait i think u should do this for ur multi and ramble............

[gold-rhine]

Oh hsr... so then why did we spend a WHOLE PATCH with aventurine and his sad tragic backstory where some of it could have been in a character quest so the main plot could be paced better 🫠 I didn't mind learning about aventurine but I was like man are they going to cram everything into 2.2? And it looks like they did. Also what do you think of the pov switching? I'm not sure how it is like necessary 🤔 idk I mean I guess you can play as boothill but not really do anything with him. Maybe some of the plotlines like with sparkle will pay off in 2.3 but that's me being optimistic. I still overall like penacony story better than luofu but hmmm the philosophical ramblings not really going anywhere and there's going to be another IPC character that'll be playable which is oh boy I have no faith in the story writing of her. And firefly was um. A character. I liked her convo with blade! But other than that she was okay. Idk are any of the playable characters other than Robin even from penacony??? I know there's Misha and Gallagher but they're well... you know not exactly with us. I wish they went the hey yeah capitalism sucks direction rather than aww poor Sunday 😔 he just needs a hug 🫂. They were so close in 2.1 with him what happened???

LITERALLY 80% of 2.1 should have been aventurine character quest. like he's fine as a character, tho im not loving how slavery used for his sad backstory, but ignored that hes now doing it to others, but like literally nothing payed off in main quest. why did i have to hear him argue with his ghosts of past and future

i dont mind POV switching as concept, i think not tying us to the MC's view can be good for storytelling, but like, when it actually contributes smth? like in sumeru heist going from different parts of the plan makes sense bc we get to see how plan unfolds. boothill and sparkle literally didnt do anything that mattered tho, so like... we got to hear boothill being hey pardner at dan heng for like 20 minutes and nothing came out of it. they need to get an editor for real....

i have no faith in how they handle IPC at all after this one tbh. can we fucking stop with woobyfied sexy slavers. is it too much to ask

firefly was. a character indeed. like tbh im not loving how they use this "elio script" to just have stellaron hunters do whatever shit is convinient for plot with no logic or inner motivation. like she had zero reason to be here, zero personal goals. like its just cheap. also did she like die?? there was dialogue with raiden where shes like we should do it bc firefly cant go back to real world without dying, so we should honor her. did they like kill her off screen???

but like yeah, 2.0-2.1 AND part of 2.2 was like "capitalism sucks", but then it just goes ACSHUALLY capitalism is just natural order, should poor\weak ppl even have right to decide for themselves???? like what even the fuck

[asteriskdisasterisk]

idk I just think that the Hero and Partner taking turns to teach the other something important just by being themselves is so good. Specifically with trust, while they were stuck in the future and after in the post-game.

I imagine that when Dusknoir betrayed Lex and Ollie, they were both equally devastated, but Lex couldn't be surprised. Yes, he never felt so close and connected with someone before, but with Dusknoir's status as a celebrity and the way he acted with such bravado most of the time...Lex just couldn't be surprised.

But Ollie was. She was heartbroken and disbelieving. She had so much respect and admiration for Dusknoir, wanted to be just like him, refused to believe that his kindhearted actions were entirely fake.

When Grovyle told them the truth, Lex was already primed to believe it, he had tossed away any doubts the second Dusknoir grabbed Ollie to pull them into the dimensional hole.

Ollie couldn't, wouldn't, believe it. Even if it made sense. In the moment, it felt much more rational to face Dusknoir and any potential danger he brought instead of listening to Grovyle.

And so Lex had to stop her. He had to get through to her. She couldn't understand how he was so calm through all this, but the truth is he was tired. Lex may not remember his past, but there are some experiences that stick with you forever. Even if he couldn't understand it back then, his initial instinct to not trust Dusknoir was a warning.

He reminds her of Drowzee, of how his seemingly good actions were all a means to an end. "If someone shows you who they truly are, you have to believe them."

It's with some struggle, but Ollie believes Grovyle's words in the end. Dusknoir's further actions would only validate them more.

But then, you know, Dusknoir has his redemption arc. And obviously Lex and Ollie are not very willing to take this at face value, regardless of Grovyle's insistence that it's genuine this time.

Over time, Ollie would see him make the effort to prove himself and eventually trust that it really was genuine. She had seen and experienced so much since being in the dark future. With Team Skull giving her the relic fragment when it mattered most, with Drowzee and his transformation into a good and helpful citizen, and with Grovyle, of course, revealing his selfless nature when he was once known as a thief.

Dusknoir wasn't too much different. He had the capacity to change, like anyone else. There was the warm feeling of hope in her heart.

Lex couldn't, wouldn't, accept it. Even when the evidence was in Dusknoir's favor. There was too much risk in trusting him again.

And so Ollie talked to him. Had to prove it to him that Dusknoir could be their friend. He couldn't understand how she could just forget what happened. Ollie wasn't naive. Of course she never forgot, and she may never find it in herself to forgive either, but it wouldn't be fair to not give Dusknoir a chance.

There was good in him and she was more than willing to let him show it. "Everyone deserves the chance to change."

It's with great apprehension, but Lex eventually comes around to the idea of Dusknoir being genuinely redeemed.

I just...idk. I really like how these two balance each other. When someone learns that the truth can be as cruel as it is necessary, and in turn they can teach that kindness is a choice we must make to better the world and the people around us...

idk man im soft dont touch me im Having A Moment-

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

time's prophecy to 13 is like whatever, i generally dont really think abt it bc when i do it just feels a little like a contrivance to cut thasmin short, or more specifically to give 13 a reason to formulate why thasmin is getting cut short ie it just feels to me mainly as an in-universe way to say "hey so like we've got 3 episodes left theres not much we can do here"

but the other day i Was thinking abt it, or like it crossed my mind, that scene, that warning, that does little except verbalise to 13, with her own mouth, You Have No More Time

and i was like, thats actually like exactly what trauma does right? like that phenomenon where you are just convinced for no real concrete reason that youre dying within the next 1-5 years? i think i read that thats a ptsd thing once but idk. but you know the feeling, like, where youre stuck in the past and the future refuses to unfold? like it's just stuck. time is not moving forward. like there's a wall right in front of you and youre just like, im gonna walk into the wall. and maybe you feel like the wall is 1 year away or 5 but regardless, that 1 or 5 year can pass but the wall doesnt move. you know what i mean? like youre convinced you wont see your 20th birthday but youre actually already 25. just doesnt sink in.

i think thats what time's warning to 13 is. just the articulation of her own belief that shes running out of time. or that it had already run out before she even started. she starts her relationship with her companions with the assumption that it's temporary, even after they board for real: "you wont come back the same"

and if you look at it that way i think it's easier to deal with the jump from 13 to 14 or 15. not for yaz, obviously, shes still gonna be super upset abt it. but if 13 really genuinely entirely can not imagine the future that 14 has, can not imagine a future at all, like, it makes sense.

maybe she felt like she was dying but instead of the sentiment 10 expressed "some new man goes sauntering away and i am dead" she just stopped after the first sentence like "everything i am dies." stop. theres no After. theres nothing to imagine. theres no keeping yaz with her, theres no going back for her either. theres no continuation. theres no next. everything i am dies. and the world stops.

nightvale voice: death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.

but it's doctor who. she is the universe. what happens after the heat death of the universe? are you imagining settling down with a family who loves you? are you imagining heaven? after the heat death of the universe? the doctor doesnt believe in god.

[stanurines1mp]

Honor

Pairing: Byakuya Kuchiki x Fem!Reader

type: angst

an: im back loves! i have also just recently finished Bleach and let's just say I am obsessed! Byakuya is defo my top 5 fav Bleach men and here's a little something about him. he's so smexy i want him to obliterate and desecrate me with Senbonzakura heh. also this angst may not be that angsty idk but yuh lets go. dont forget to follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad. and share or comment :) enjoy!!

warnings: ANGST(heavy on the angst), death, blood, maybe cringy (reader calls him Byakuya-sama bcoz im obsessed w that idea even tho i dont typically write honorifics in my fics), Byakuya lowkey demanding and smexy (highkey smexy). i think thats all. lemme know if i missed anything :)

~~~

As head of the noble Kuchiki clan, Byakuya had his honor to preserve. Nothing and no one will be exempted if they dare taint his pride. With such a responsibility, he knew just as well that he had to live carefully, aware of each action of his in fear of ruining the sacred name bestowed upon him. 

The only time he had ever let himself slip was when meeting his wife, Hisana. But it came to bite him back in the neck with the event of her death. And not fulfilling her dying wish was a taint in his honor. 

He couldn't let that be. 

So despite the objections of others, he sought the young girl called Rukia, only to find her thriving in the Academy. But that was it. 

He wouldn't let anyone or anything else cause him a slip-up.

He wouldn't listen to his emotions. 

Only to his pride and honor as the head of the noble Kuchiki clan. 

That's what he promised himself. 

But even the great Captain Byakuya Kuchiki couldn't foresee the future. 

Maybe if he did, he wouldn't have decided to visit the pond in the Kuchiki mansion's compound on that day. 

But because he couldn't, that's what he did when the morning sun had crept up the Soul Society's horizon. It was his routine, something to keep him in check as if a constant reminder that he was honorably trapped under the duties of the clan. 

He was enjoying nature's morning warmth that relished over his skin. His white scarf wrapped softly around his neck, his hair held up with the kenseikan; all a reminder of his position. 

And as a man with such responsibility, he's made it his duty to be well-informed regarding the staff at the mansion along with his squad members. With such knowledge, he was more than surprised to see your figure by the pond. 

With his past days a routine cycle, he knew that no one would be there. Except on days when the pond demands a cleaning. But when it came to feeding the aquatic creatures, only he was responsible. 

And his surprise didn't just come from seeing your figure perched over the edge. No, it also came from the fact that he had never seen you before. And the fact that you were wearing a black Shihakusho, indicated that you were, in fact, a Soul Reaper. 

If you had business with him, a Captain, it would make sense for you to meet with him at his office. But certainly not the Kuchiki mansion.

So why were you there?

And who were you? 

He knew each and every member of the staff that served his family and he knew each and every member of his squad. 

So, who were you?

Your Reiatsu was average, not showing any signs of danger to him or anyone. You had your Zanpakuto in its case safely by your side. Your hands were knitted together at your back, your eyes almost void as you stared into the pond. 

Your lips were relaxed, your mind focused solely on the peaceful way the fish swam in the water. And he could tell that you weren't aware of your surroundings when he finally made the decision to approach you. 

Remaining his guard at a high level if in any case, you were an enemy infiltrating the clan. Your chest was heaving as you breathed at a calm pace. And for some reason, the fact that you immediately didn't notice him there made him feel rather, awkward. 

For almost all his life, the mere feel of his Reiatsu would gain everyone's focus on him. 

He's never had to make his presence known. 

Still, what choice did he have?

"Who are you?" His words slipped out rather rushingly as if begging to be heard and acknowledged.

And sure enough, it did bring you out of your reverie. Eyes following the voice, you were met with the tall man, his grey eyes narrowed slightly. Realizing the identity of the man, your eyes widened and the upper half of your body immediately lowered into a bow of respect. 

"Captain Kuchiki!" You let out.

"I asked you a question," he simply replied rather coldly. 

"L/N Y/N! I've been assigned to the noble Kuchiki clan!" You informed briefly. 

That's right.

He remembered the head of his staff at the mansion informing him of the new additions. And he remembered reading the names of said staff, thus remembering the name L/N Y/N somewhere in the documents he was given. 

Right, you were meant to be the clan's new caretaker. 

He didn't expect you to be so...

Young. 

"My job is to serve the Kuchiki clan, Captain!" You added, your body still bent in a bow. 

"Stand up straight," he ordered and you heeded his words. Eyes intimidatingly staring into yours, he said, "As a servant of the Kuchiki clan, you may call me Byakuya." 

No, that was wrong.

What the hell?

It was supposed to be Master Byakuya. 

Not just his given name.

That's much too familiar.

And you realized that with the way your eyes widened again.

"I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama, but I'm not really comfortable with that," you objected politely.

Now it was his turn to be shocked. 

Though his eyes gave very little away. 

At least you were smart enough to understand the difference between you and him. 

"What are you doing here? As a caretaker, you have your own room," he simply let out, barely any emotions following. 

Just as others had said, he indeed was a cold man.

"I was just admiring the scenery, sir. I'm sorry if it's out of line," you said, eyes on the ground. 

He could tell how tense you were at the moment. Gaze glued to the grass-filled lawn, fingers fidgeting over your Shihakusho, and your shoulders were stiff. He supposed it was a greeting lacking warmth. 

"It's alright," he said. "You can stay here."

Your body relaxed almost immediately. He could tell by your sudden confidence to look him in the eyes with the brightest pair of your own. A smile tainted your lips widely, showcasing your happiness.

"Thank you, Byakuya-sama!" 

It was odd but he was fighting the urge to let the small grin creeping up his lips. Too used to his stoic act, he managed through it. And you stood there all the while he fed the fish in his pond, even offering to help him. But he was nowhere near interested to share his routine with anyone. 

Though that soon changed the next morning when he saw you standing by the pond. 

The same manner, the same spot. 

And you were there again, morning after morning after morning. 

You provided him a silent company day after day, he actually found it rather nice. 

And you certainly enjoyed the mornings since you began your duty at the mansion. It was an honor to spend such moments with the head of the clan. 

Since the 6th Division Captain was truly a strong man, he seldom fell victim to any sickness which rendered you useless since that was your job anyway. But when he did get sick, it would affect him terribly. In the past, it's happened before and sure, he'd always fight through it but it would take at least days if not weeks for him to get well. 

That was why he was shocked to hear that he had been healed only overnight.

His eyes had opened to meet the view of his bedroom ceiling. On his right, perched on the floor was his adopted younger sister, Rukia. Her eyes feigned worry but such a sentiment dissipated the moment their eyes met. 

"Brother, you're up," she chirped with relief. 

"What happened?" He softly asked, voice heavy and tired.

"You got sick," the young girl answered.

"How long has it been?" He did not remember spending days lying down, being tended to. 

"You got sick last night. You've been sleeping ever since Ms. L/N healed you. I should go get her," Rukia gasped, her hands about to push herself up but was stopped by Byakuya's fingers wrapped gently around her wrist. She turned, watching with worry as he got up. 

"No need. I'll go find her," he said.

Despite his sister's objections, he went anyway. Searching for you, he walked to the one place he knew he'd find you. 

Just as expected, you were standing by the pond. 

A small smile had been drawn up your lips. It was not one Byakuya was estranged to. He'd seen it on you all too many times. 

But for some reason, he never cared to have it wiped away from his field of vision. 

He approached you and just like that day of your first meeting, you didn't care to notice him. But in contrast to that day, he didn't feel awkward or ashamed to make his presence known. 

"Y/N," he called.

A voice so soft in the light of the darkened sky called upon you, how could you not turn? So you did, met with a rather loose picture of the man you were used to. 

"Byakuya-sama," you softly smiled. "You're up. How do you feel?"

"Different," he answered, hesitant in his own voice as he scanned over his body. "What did you do to me?" 

"I healed you," you frowned, confused at the question. "That's my job, sir."

Your answer was not enough for the man to have his questions satisfied. Taking slow and intimidating strides towards you, your body glued frozen to your spot. But you weren't scared. 

"I rarely get sick. But when I do, it's terrible. It would take days if not weeks to heal me-"

"I know, Byakuya-sama-"

"Don't interrupt me!" He let out sternly but there was a slight hint of childish irritation. 

"I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama," you mumbled gently, gaze falling to the ground while your hands fidget nervously. 

"As I was saying," he continued, using a finger of his to hook under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his under the starry night. "How did you heal me so fast?" 

"It's my Zanpakuto's ability, sir," you answered promptly. His brows rose questioningly, a look of curiosity obviously flashing through his grey eyes. His lips remained still, the silence an offering for you to answer his silent inquiry. "It's the power to manifest things." 

Processing your words, his mind began to work around to understand them. He got the gist of it but such a power seemed quite rare. He's never heard of anything quite like it. 

"What is the name of your Zanpakuto?" 

"Her name is Amaterasu," you answered with a smile, appreciative of his curiosity. "She's quite powerful but really quite useless in physical combat. If I were to join the Gotei 13, I might be of help in Squad 4 but other than that, I might have some trouble," you sheepishly shrugged.

"You keep referring to your Zanpakuto as her and she as if it was your friend. Why?" His tone sounded both confused and slightly condescending but you took no offence to heart.

You pondered your thoughts. You knew the answer to his question but you weren't sure if it was something you wanted him to know. 

Especially with him just getting better from the sickness, you wouldn't want to trouble him with a sob story of your boring life. And it seemed as though he knew just how your mind works with the way he used his finger to bring your eyes to his again. 

You hadn't even realized how close he had gotten. You wondered if he realized it too or not. Either way, his grey eyes bored deeply into yours, a certain sentiment you weren't sure of its origin taking place in his orbs. 

"I asked you a question, didn't I?" He let out, a slight mix of gentleness and demand swirling behind his tone. 

"R-Right, Byakuya-sama. I'm sorry," you mumbled. "It's because, to me, Amaterasu isn't just a sword," you sighed, eyes painted with nostalgic despair. At this, Byakuya's eyes widened slightly, losing the composure he was strongly holding. "She was my first friend," you said, biting your inner cheek with embarrassment. "I've always been alone but when Amaterasu was first awoken, well," you breathed out softly. "I could always talk to her. Amaterasu isn't just my weapon. She's my friend."

Byakuya watched as your lips gently curl up in an unknowing smile. But he knew that your smile was one different than what he was used to each morning. Tonight, at that moment, your smile had yet to reach your eyes. And your eyes still remained that sullen despair.

"Pathetic, aren't I?" You humorlessly scoffed, tears threatening to flood out of your eyes.

He didn't understand it at the moment or maybe he did but refused to believe it.

Either way, he didn't like that you'd think he'd say such a thing about you.

His hand under your jaw slowly lifted up your face. With your eyes meeting again, you couldn't help but get lost in his eyes. 

The way his grey orbs held a glint of comfort that you were foreign to yet found yourself addicted to. And the way his hair was falling over his complexion, messy yet controlled despite not having his hairpins.

You could only let yourself be engulfed.

Still, you were almost all too aware, sensitive to the skin of his finger that sweetly caressed your cheek, eliminating your fallen tear in one fell swoop.

A small, barely audible gasp escaped your lips, surprised at his action. You wondered if he was aware but it seemed like he was. And maybe, in your heart, you secretly longed for this. For his comfort. For his touch.

Oh, aren't you just head over heels for your superior?

"Show me," he carelessly whispered. Your eyebrows twitched in confusion, allowing him to add, "Show me her ability."

"Wh-What?"

"I'm curious," he simply replied.

"Oh," you let out softly. "Well..."

More than the fact he could sense your hesitation, he could clearly see it. "It's an order," he added, causing you to frown.

"Does that not count as abusing your power?" You let slipped out, only realizing once the question ended. Struck by fear, your hands immediately clasped over your mouth as you gasped. "I'm so sorry, Byakuya-sama!"

You apologized over and over again. The sight of you in such a frenzy amused him. And maybe it was the late night's air or the aftereffects of his sickness but he couldn't hold back the chuckle he let out.

And by whatever God that was listening in to your heart's requests, you thanked them. 

You thanked them for bestowing such a sound upon your ears. 

Sure, your eyes displayed surprise but your heart swelled with warmth as the melody of his chuckle passed by your ears. 

"Why are you so hesitant on heeding my wishes, Y/N-san?" His head was slightly tilted, eyes reached by that barely visible grin that you noticed tickled his skin. 

"I just don't understand what you wish to see, Byakuya-sama," you replied hesitantly. 

"I'm curious at how your Zanpakuto can heal others so quickly," he said simply. 

"Well," you stammered, fingers going to scratch at the back of your neck. "It does not work on myself and I can't heal an injury if there is no injury."

His eyes narrowed as he took in your words, mind turning gears to reach a solution to fulfill his own request. 

Well, no one said Byakuya was a man who easily gave up. 

"I see," he hummed aloud. Shedding no warning, he took a step forward, almost too close in the distance between you two. 

Widening eyes and stammering words, you gasped, "B-Byakuya-sama!"

Lacking any sense of hesitation, Byakuya's right hand held firmly on the hilt of your Zanpakuto. He unsheathed the sharp weapon from the case that hung by your side. 

Too late for objections, the head of the clan slashed his left palm with the blade of your sword. Warm crimson-colored substance began to ooze out, staining the pale skin of his hand, ultimately falling to the ground, drop by drop. 

"H-Have you lost your mind, sir?! This is not funny!" You let out, too shocked to even process his actions. 

"You wanted an injury, now you have an injury," he simply said. Holding out his hand, he casually tipped his head, "Here. Heal me."

"Byakuya-sama!" You frowned. "You're crazy!" 

"Maybe. But you shouldn't let your Master bleed, should you?" He rose a brow daringly, causing you to let out a scoff. 

Letting out a defeated sigh, you took the sword from the man's hands. Gently, you gripped the hilt of the weapon with both your hands. You twisted it so the edge would face downwards as the hilt neared your lips. In a small whisper, you let out its command. 

"Breathe, Amaterasu."

And Byakuya had no idea if he should look at you or your sword. But since this was all happening due to his curiosity, he decided to focus on the Zanpakuto's release. 

He watched as the blade you held slowly dissipated into the light until even the handle was gone. Instead, both your palms were radiating the similar light that he saw earlier. 

And it was like whatever God was there had granted him the slow-moving time to allow him to properly, truly watch you and your Shikai. 

He knew the transformation was anything but slow. 

But it seemed like the process was meant to purposely allow his view of each and every passing second. 

Then, you opened your eyes and directed your palms to his wound. 

As if time was intentionally moving slowly for the moment between you and him, he was intent on watching everything. 

From the way your eyes had been lighted up by the radiance near your palm to the way his wound began to close, flesh regenerating due to the light you let out. 

And soon, it was as if he had never cut himself. 

You clasped your hands together again and closed your eyes for a moment. When they opened, your sword was already back in between your palms. You sighed, inserting it into the case. You looked up at the man, seeing how his eyes scanned intriguingly at his healed palm. 

"It's an amazing power," he murmured, causing your cheeks to flush with heat.

"You didn't have to hurt yourself like that, Byakuya-sama," you lowly let out. 

"I'm sorry for that," he apologized sweetly. "It was the only solution I can think of," he pursed his lips, letting his hand fall to his side. "Can I ask you something?" 

"Hmm?"

"With such a powerful healing ability, why weren't you assigned as Captain Ukitake's caretaker?"

"You ask me that as if I'm the one who assigned Shinigami to their jobs," you let out, a tone of sass pairing your words. "But, I initially was. Captain Ukitake refused my treatment. He said I'd be better off helping others."

"I see," Byakuya hummed. "In any case, I'd like to thank you."

"Thank me? What for?" 

"You healed me," he said with risen brows as he took your hand in his. "Twice."

And maybe it was the way his voice silkened out of his lips. Or the way his eyes doted into yours under the night's sky. Or the gentleness of his touch on your hand. Or the proximity that you could barely call a gap shared between you two. 

But you couldn't fight the smile creeping onto your lips. 

"Of course! It's my duty to protect you, Byakuya-sama!"

And maybe it was the crease formed under your eyes as you closed them. Or maybe it was the sound of the small giggle you let out as if he had said something amusing. Or maybe it was your smile that showed all kinds of sincerity. 

Either way, he realized something. 

Something about him. 

Something about you. 

It wouldn't be good for him to have fallen for his servant, right?

Well, it didn't matter. 

Because no matter how badly injured he was in battles, Byakuya would refuse wholeheartedly on receiving treatment from the 4th Division. All because he wanted to hurry up home to see you and be healed by you. 

Most of the time, he'd first meet your nagging but then you'd heal him either way. It was such an occurrence that at one point, you had stopped being shy around him. 

Still, it wouldn't be good for him to have fallen for his servant, right?

And regrets would soon fall through on a night that showered the Seireitei with an empty sky. 

Byakuya's eyes immediately shoot open, meeting the view of his bedroom ceiling. His body tensed, chills rushing throughout his skin. His body straightened to sit, his head turned in the direction of the doors. 

A loud commotion was heard from the outside, his eyes widening at the realization of the situation. Standing up, he grabbed his Zanpakuto and slid the doors open. 

He sensed the Spiritual Pressure of the intruder and began to head there. But his heart skipped a beat in panic upon realizing the Reiatsu that accompanied the intruder's. 

Just as his heartbeat increased, so did the pace of his run. And he found himself not too far from your favorite spot, his eyes wide and shocked, frozen by the sight. 

You were holding onto your Zanpakuto fiercely, your stance ready for combat as you swung your sword in an attempt to slash the intruder. And before Byakuya could fulfill his duty as your protector, everything flashed before him all too quickly. 

Maybe he could shrug it off as just a nightmare. 

But how could he? 

When he himself could feel your presence slowly disappearing from him? 

Too caught up in the moment, he hadn't even cared enough to arrest the intruder, only just killing the man on the spot, letting his emotions run free, escaping his pride and honor because that man had tainted his pride. 

He tainted it by stabbing you right in a vital spot, rendering you helpless as you fell to the ground, blood emitted by your coughs and your wounds. 

If only Byakuya was fast enough, he would have stopped the man before you could do anything. If only Byakuya was fast enough, he would have had time to catch you in his arms. 

But he wasn't. 

So he had to pick you up from the ground and lay you over his legs. Your head was placed softly above his palm, your left hand under his on your stomach despite the blood that had stained your skin. 

"Y/N? Y/N!" He called, but you were barely able to open your eyes. 

You fought hard for it. 

To see him. 

Just as you could feel him. 

By his touch. 

By his Reiatsu.

By his soul. 

And by his heart. 

Slowly, your lids fluttered open, allowing him one last view of your eyes. 

"Byakuya-sama," you whispered out, cut off by another blood-emitting cough. 

"Shh, don't move," he cooed, about to stand up but you stopped him. 

"It's too late," you weakly hiccuped. 

His eyebrows were stitched together in a frown before he shook his head. "No-"

"It is and you know it," you breathed out. 

"No," he let out again, firmly. "I refuse-"

"Byakuya-sama, please listen to me for once," you weakly chuckled, your heart hurting each time you moved but it didn't matter. 

You just wanted another moment with the man. 

"Y/N-"

"You're different than what others had said," you smiled tiredly, a hand slowly going up to caress his cheek while pushing his fallen strands away from his complexion. "People say you're uptight and cold but you're not like that at all, are you?" 

"Please, save your strength-"

"Can you let me talk?" She let out a small chuckle of amusement, a trail of blood leaking out of her lips. "You changed my life, Byakuya-sama."

"I'm sorry," he cried, letting loose that part of himself he's fought so hard to keep inside. 

"Whatever for?" 

His cheeks were tainted, tears embracing the outermost part while his heart felt the twisted pain for the second time again. 

He's felt this before. 

And he swore to never let himself feel it again. 

That's why he refused to feel anything.

Yet somehow you got to him. 

Somehow, you made him feel. 

You made him fall in love again. 

Only to snatch it right out of his hands. 

"How can you still smile?" The question audibly escaped him. 

"Because I'm with you, Byakuya-sama," you softly whispered as you fought the urge to close your eyes. "Thank you so much, Byakuya-sama."

His head lightly shook, his nostrils flaring with that same grief that had once eaten at him. 

"Thank you for keeping me company. With you by my side, I could never feel lonely again."

His eyes fluttered, lips parted emptily, no words able to escape them as his throat itched with pain. 

"Why did you fight, Y/N?" He suddenly asked. "You said it yourself. You're not a good fighter."

"Because," you coughed out, eyes meeting his again with a soft beam. "It is my duty to protect you, Byakuya-sama."

What more could he say?

"Can you, stay here while I look at the scenery?"

A gasp slipped out of him, his eyes flying open to see you looking to your left where the pond remained. Even with the pain he knew you were feeling, you still managed to tingle a small smile on your lips. And though it was small, it reached your eyes. Your saddened yet somehow bright eyes. 

Right.

It was that smile of yours.

He remembered when his days got better each morning he'd wake up, a small hint of excitement swarming his heart as he would head to the pond. 

Because then he'd see you. 

And you'd be there. 

As always.

Only always didn't last forever. 

Because you were gone. 

And his mornings were spent alone. 

And he was alone. 

Byakuya Kuchiki was a man of honor. 

But that night stained his honor crimson with the memory of your blood. 

[ladysomething]

Hi! First time anon here again to share my thoughts.

I have to do it before the new chapter because I imagine your inbox will fill up pretty quick tomorrow (absolutely can't wait for tomorrow btw).

So, what I cant stop thinking about in regards to wygig is how much it reminds me of pride and prejudice. Well, mostly the dynamics between Max and Charles are to me very similar to Darcy and Elizabeth (in a non sexual way). Max is obviously Darcy while Charles is Lizzy. Max is a proud but emotionally troubled man who actually has a lot of trauma in his past who has overcome all of it to become the man that he is when we begin our story. He is doing everything in his power to protect Charles from the evil ( the evil is the same evil who has hit him - Wickham hurting Darcys sister and trying to do the same to Elizabeth vs An Alpha hurting Max's mom and Charles being in danger from Alphas). He is protecting the person he loves (whether he knows he is in love is unclear but I have a feeling he does from some of the things he said during his first POV) but this person considers him to be the villain (here comes the prejudice) and does everything to get rid of him. On the surface, he despises Max (deep down that is not true obviosuly). But Charles is so much like Elizatbeth in ... everything. He was the "special one" of the family he was his dad's "favorite" they had a special bond bc of their second gender and Lizzy had a special bond with her father also. They are both stubborn as hell, they both will not accept to be saved instead will do everything in their power to push away Max/Darcy because they falsely think the other is the worst person in the world, utterly blind to the truth that is literally staring them in the face. And Max/Darcy just step away when they get rejected time and time again because they are perfect little cinnamon rolls like that.

It seems I got a little carried away but in my head this fits perfectly! I realize I'm stepping really far away from the discussions usually going around on here lol but I hope you like my thoughts.

Also I sincerely hope you know about the story because this would just be gibberish if you dont and I'd be so embarrassed 😅. On the other hand if you do not know about Pride and Prejudice (unlikely) to me it just means you've accidentally rewritten the trope and character dynamic of the literal best love story of all time if you ask me and if thats not impressive idk what is. If you have done it on purpose I'm applauding you bc this is perfect and I will now go and try to figure out what that means for the future of this story. If someone else has figured this out before me sorry for repeating myself.

This was extremely long and im sorry. 😪

hello first-now-second-time anon!!!

so. love this whole thing. I obviously don't want to give away any spoilers, so what I will say about your ask is this: when originally plotted out, I hadn't really about the parallels to pride and prejudice. however, I have also noticed some similarities, and p&p has even directly inspired an upcoming scene.

so here is this:

love love love everything you wrote!!!!

[per1w1nkl3]

Hollow Pursuits (tng 3x21) is an example of a weird thing that I think star trek does way more often that it should. if star trek as a franchise is usually about inclusion and understanding and peace and live laugh love with every alien species there's almost a double standard with situations that are much closer to a plausible real life conflict (undoubtedly because of the personal bias of the writers)

this contrast felt especially stark to me with two episodes like tin man and hollow pursuits. on one side you have an alien dude who feels so much beacuse of a condition he was born with that his life is heavily impacted, an android who feels but in a different, subtle way and who sees his right to even exist questioned on a regular basis, and a being who looks like a rock or starship but is a living being and is also lonely and suicidal. first and third guy end up riding into the sunset together btw. all of them are supposed to be sympathetic even if slightly annoying (betazoid man).

but when the dude who has interpersonal relationship issues and major anxiety/generalized anxiety/social anxiety is human and a regular crewmember they somehow just kinda drop the ball. so as the episode opens we're presented with this guy that everyone hates because hes always late, he stutters, hes anxious and hes overall not pleasent to be around (do they even mention how he performs work wise? can he fix your random routine techonbabble issue?). they make fun of him, they call him a mean nickname behind his back- everyone, including his superior officers, including the captain. I dont think hes *supposed* to be the bad guy but I don't think he comes out as sympathetic either (or at least it doesn't translate as sympathetic in 2024) because we find out he uses the holodeck in a unethical way (at best) by using the faces of his coworkers. but this is never really the conflict! the real problem everyone seems to have with him is hes awkward and doesn't really fit in. somehow a crew of highly skilled high ranking officers who often come into contact with alien life forms turns into teenagers when the guy of the week has anxiety!

but the guy of the week who has anxiety does things that he should be reprimanded for (see fucking holograms with the faces of your coworkers) but they don't focus on that instead they are needlessly mean to him and the episode just comes out.... muddy?? in a way it's kinda like how tos can have a fucked up solidified lava mop looking alien who's killed people but it's sympathetic because the people have been killing her tiny fucked up mop children, but when it's autistc coded teenage boy charlie x it's like,,, well yeah,,, he's never lived in a human society before and he doesn't know the rules and he's pretty much lost and at the same time eager to make new experiences but also,,,, he could be a little less of an asshole yk??

in ds9 the episodes that I think have similar vibes are melora (ofc the disabled person is immediately distrusting look at how bashir treats her!!) and I can't think of the name but the one (or two I think???) with the genetically enhanced people. there's so much wrong with those i wouldn't even know where to start (not mention bashir's own parents who are supposed to get a redemption arc because suddenly they're sorry???? anyway I might be getting a little off topic)

so yeah idk if this makes a whole lot of sense but ugh it feels really grating and disheartening for a show that's supposed to be about a utopian future, where mankind is past the need for violence (but where apparently microagressions are completely fine)

[spock-adoodledoo]

for me star rail still fails to properly storytell idk. after playing through all the plot thus far I still feel uninvested in and honestly quite detached from the story. the luofu beating up borisin abominations was cool but they try kind of hard to shoehorn in future plots and tie the worlds together, and it feels kind of forced. putting sunday and fugue, who generally don't have any relation to each other, in the same story also feels kinda eh. the quest highlighted their similarities as characters who must let reconcile with their pasts in order to move forward, but at the same time, i can't help but think "it's just because they want to sell these two characters this patch". like this feels like something you would do in a meta-analysis outside the game, and it felt weird putting tingyun in the plot and resolving it so ??? like easily?? man i don't know. focus felt like it was on sunday the whole quest and tingyun was a short side story meant to sell her character and quickly tidy up the loose threads introduced earlier. which,, well they could've given tingyun her own focus later lol.

i also don't know how to feel about its insertion of gods and cosmic horror into the game full of individual characters you're supposed to be invested in. you want to show the grand expanse of the universe and the macro scale at which aeons operate, affecting entire worlds (i wish they would do more with this honestly) but you also gotta sell characters, so you need to have stories that are way more limited and for people to be invested in them. idk. i guess i just hope they find a balance with them, and we got to see more aeon and less gacha chars. tough ask of a gacha game so not a big deal i suppose

someone's definitely going to be sending me an ask saying i dont have reading comprehension after this but oh well idc

[crguang]

yippe i love how you fw both acheswan and feikong! fav ships ever in hsr!! also yukong's story is so sad, kinda have a bit of fixation on her so each time i rewatch her character story, i get heartbroken.

voicr acting was soo good esp at the fight scene between her and her daughter. hearing how cheerful she was and then suddenlyrealizing how shes so tired now ☹️☹️ and the line where she says she touched the sky, the diary entries 😭😭

she's my fav character, close to kafka! would love to hear your thoughts!

also after playing the quest, seeing her idle animation where she touches her kite thing and saying its been so long made me cry sm

agree agree agree, yukong is one of my favorite characters in the game and always will be. she means the world to me, her contentment means the world to me, i need her to be more than happy i need her to be a peace for the rest of her days and feel good in her skin and stop seeing the future as some countdown for when she dies. i dont know what it is but i feel so drawn to her character because of her issues with age, maybe it’s due to my very fervent belief that aging is a wonderful thing and it hurts to see her reduce herself to growing old like it’s a bad thing. i do think she’s made progress since then but the fact that she clearly wants to fly again and wont because she’s “past her prime” is so upsetting to me 😭 idk, i get so protective of her. the notion that one’s worth (especially a woman’s) lowers as they age is so wrong and misogynistic i need to free her. she makes me so incredibly sad, whenever i have to explain her backstory i genuinely cry. like all the time. there’s something about her that touches me deeply. reading her character stories for the first time had me crying for so long because i strangely relate to that dream she had where she kept repeating “i think my wings are broken. i think im going to die. im growing old. my wings are broken. i want to go back to the sky. i want to go back. i want to go back.” even now just recalling it makes me heavy like idk what it is but i relate so bad. when you feel like your best years are behind you and you don’t recognize the person you’ve become but are forced to keep going through the motions anyway, you start living in the past. she’s lived in the past for 30 years. she raised the child of the person she loved most on her own after losing her to the cruelties of war. she must have been so isolated for a long time, treated as a hero by people who will never understand the burden she bears. im actually crying again like😭😭😭 she means so much to me man, i need her to be happy. her whole design is inspired by xianzhou traditional kites and it holds so much significance to her; in her lightcone description it says the kite reminds her of caiyi’s death and this mission item is used to remember yukong by like what if i cried. it likely represents all the youthfulness of her past ughhhh im just not strong enough yo handle yukong’s story, every time i remember how full of life she sounded in the flashback with caiyi vs how exhausted she sounds now i get upset

the voice acting during her companion mission was so amazing that my throat was closing up when she lost caiyi. i really wasn’t expecting it, her VA is super talented and i love women with deeper voices in general so yukong’s voice is also top 4 in the game for me