#her looking at me mc like that drives me insane

[peachylynnie]

you make him lose his cool

word count: 900-1k per lead synopsis: in which you provoke them, and they love it. (inspired by kiss of life's igloo) contains: fem!reader x lads men (separate, non!mc), established relationship, downbad men, NSFW CONTENT MDNI (i'm talking grinding, oral sex implications, etc), song lyrics, and cursing. a/n: UPDATED WITH CALEB AS OF 2/1/25 i feel hot whenever i listen to this song. i hope you do too while reading. enjoy! do not plagiarize or translate. lads men do NOT endorse plagiarism. reblogs & comments appreciated. lads masterlist | tagged: @vvintqz (ik this is technically the reader teasing xavier but u said to tag u when i write xavier so i hope u enjoy)

caleb

What you heard? (What you heard?) But it's never what you think, trust

it's impossible to surprise caleb.

he always knows what you're up to.

whether you're just waking up from a heavenly two-hour nap or going out to get your hands on the latest edition of your favorite blind box series, he's always there.

last time you tried to cook yourself a meal (ever since you started dating, he hasn't let you lift a finger), he came home early and snatched the spatula away from you, insisting that you sit down and look pretty for him while he makes his signature braised wings.

you're not sure how he does it. maybe he has a secret camera or a tracker installed (ha). though, you don't have any complaints. you think it's fucking hot how he's never away from you.

even so, you've been wanting to surprise him for a while now. blame it on your desire to fluster him as much as he flusters you. you're going to surprise him AT LEAST once in your lifetime.

which explains why you're in an apron right now, with absolutely nothing underneath.

to be honest, you were hoping to surprise him with homemade apple pie since he's always cooking for you. but again, you want to fluster him. thus the apron, a long piece of denim fabric wrapped tightly around your waist and hung dangerously low at your chest. you can't deny how delectable you appeared when you looked in the mirror, admiring your exposed arms, legs, back, and neck—anything that would drive the esteemed colonel insane. you felt jittery just thinking about the look he would have on his face when he walked in through the door of your shared home.

however, your joy is short-lived when your phone rings while you slice up some apples in the kitchen.

"what's with the apron, pipsqueak?"

you put the knife down with a sigh. "do you have a camera installed in here or what?"

caleb chuckles into the phone. "wouldn't you like to know?"

"i would like to know so i can turn the damn thing off and actually surprise you for once, dipshit," you retort playfully as you adjust your phone between your ear and shoulder, picking up the knife to continue chopping. you suppose you should still make the pie since you already got the ingredients out.

"aw," he mocks, his voice dripping with arousal. "did my little pipsqueak dress up just for me?"

"yes," you snap, rolling your eyes. "but this little pipsqueak is about to change since you ruined her surprise."

your threat does little to faze caleb, as evidenced by his endearing laughter.

"don't be upset, pips," he teases into the phone. before you can scoff at his audacity to tell you not to be upset, your ears catch the hurried footsteps in the background of the call. it doesn't take long for you to hope your boyfriend is on his way home—on his way to you. sure enough, his next words cause heat to pool between your bare legs.

"keep the apron on. i'll be home soon."

after he hangs up, you put your phone down with a giggle, eager for what's to unfold once he arrives. however, you still can't help but wonder if he actually has a camera installed because how the fuck does he always know what you're up to? you frown as you turn your head left and right. you don't see any red flashing lights in places that could provide him an optimal view. nope. nothing in the corners of the ceilings and nothing in the walls either. before you can convince yourself your boyfriend is somehow omniscient, you notice something out of the corner of your eye.

his dog tag. seems like he forgot to put it on after putting on his uniform. you pocket it, hoping to give it to him when he gets home.

but your mind is truly one of a kind. as caleb likes to put it, resourceful during the most critical moments.

because when he's balls deep inside of you, coaxing your second orgasm out of you, you get the bright idea to fish your shaky fingers into the pocket of your bunched-up apron and put. it. on.

caleb's eyes widen upon seeing his dog tag on you. there it was, the important item he forgot this morning, resting between the delicious valley of your breasts, bouncing up and down while jingling an enticing melody.

"fuck—pipsqueak, you—" he thrusts harshly, pistoning into your sopping heat. you throw your head back at the sensation, allowing him an even better view of his chain, mingling with the beads of sweat on your collarbone. shit, he's so turned on right now. not only were your swollen, sweet lips adorning his name, but so was your pretty little neck. it filled the young colonel with pride. and enough vigor to bring you to your third release, as evidenced by the endless slamming of his hips and the clenching of your thighs.

"good girl," he helps you through your high before letting go of your waist, hoping to give you a break. "i'll go get a towel. stay here."

but when your pilot of a lover goes to leave, you wrap your legs around him and pull him to you, causing him to collide with you. caleb hisses at the contact, sensitive more than ever.

"don't push it, pipsqueak," he warns as he plants both of his arms on the kitchen counter, caging you in. "you need to rest."

"i don't think so, colonel," you prop yourself on your elbows, meeting his eyes boldly. "i don't think so at all."

caleb swears he feels his mechanical arm short-circuit because what you do next is just fucking tantalizing.

you pinch his dog tag and bring it to your mouth.

his breathing quickens substantially when your teeth take the shiny piece of metal as their prisoner. it's not long before his dog tag is trapped between your seductive canines and your thighs are tightened around his waist.

with a shameless smile, you jut your chin towards the man, signaling to him to make his move.

caleb growls, seizing the chain with both hands and bringing you to his face.

"i warned you, pips."

extra (in honor of his official installment)

as you munch on some apple pie in caleb's embrace on the couch, you can't help but ask.

"how did you know about the apron but not the dog tag?"

your boyfriend sniffs before answering, a little bit of pie still in his mouth.

"i couldn't check the cameras on the way home."

"oh that makes sense."

"…"

"wait, what?!"

sylus

Glass room, perfume, Kodak on that lilac (alright) Slipping on my short dress, know he like that (like that)

there's nothing like getting ready in sylus' bathroom. not because of the sheer size of it (it takes at least a day to explore his residence), but because of how good you look in the mirror right now. you can't help but smile as you step back to get a full look at yourself.

sylus went all out for tonight's auction.

he gifted you a tight-fitting ebony dress, its gorgeous silk straps accentuating your shoulders perfectly. he also gifted you a pair of evening gloves, its velvet fabric wrapping around your arms flawlessly. of course, the dress came with priceless jewels and heels. as you twirl in front of the mirror, the scarlet gems on your ears glimmer, and the cherry kitten heels on your feet click. oh, you look so good, you can kill.

but what seals the deal is the neck accessory he got you.

an intricate, black choker made out of lace. fucking lace. a scoff leaves your mouth when you notice the ruby medallion hanging at the center. his taste is as clear as day.

as you reach behind your neck to clip the choker, the man of the hour walks in. you meet his eyes through the mirror, your hands still at the back of your neck. "sylus."

"miss," he acknowledges in return, an unmistakable smirk appearing on his lips. his eyes trail down your figure. "you look stunning."

"thanks," you giggle as you hook the choker clasp. "you don't look bad yourself."

and you're absolutely right. although he has his usual dress shirt on, his outerwear is completely new. a gorgeous red blazer, adorned with inky brush strokes, sits proudly on his shoulders. moreover, his accessories are new (he's never worn any before). cuffed around his right hand is a sleek platinum watch, spotlighting his forearm deliciously. hanging from his left ear are silver chains, shining unashamedly. you can't help but bite your lips as you admire your lover in the mirror.

yeah, sylus went all out tonight.

catching the hazy look in your glittered eyes, he tilts his head before grinning, "like what you see, sweetie?"

you roll your eyes playfully before returning to the sink. "yes, actually. didn't know you were capable of wearing something other than black."

sylus chuckles as he leans against the wall, arms crossed. "i've worn colors other than black before."

"if you're talking about the two outfits that have the belt around the sleeve," you list nonchalantly as you pick up your lip gloss. "they don't count. they have black on them."

"i'm talking about the red cardigan, sweetie," he counters smoothly, eyeing the lip gloss in your hand.

"ah." you run the wand over your parted lips, enjoying the feeling of gloss on them. "touche," you say, bending over the sink to see if you missed a spot. you do, however, miss the way sylus' fingers tighten around his arms when your dress hikes up. smacking your lips together, you lift the wand to reapply. "but you barely even wear that. so that doesn't count either."

sylus hums, barely paying attention to what you just said. his eyes are transfixed on the wand. he's mesmerized by how it travels across your lips, slathering them with sticky, shimmery syrup, leaving him thirsty for a taste. not to mention the sounds leaving your lips whenever you press them together. sweet, squelching sounds that have him pressing against you in mere seconds, his hands gripping the edge of the sink.

at first, you were taken aback by his sudden proximity. but after feeling something prod at your back, you smile amusingly before placing the wand down. "i'm assuming," you swiftly turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, his eyes widening as you pull him closer. "there's been a change of plans." you slowly lick your lips, collecting some excess gloss. as it drips from the tip of your tongue, you ask with a tilt of your head, "how late are we going to be?"

that's it.

sylus crashes into you, his tongue desperately trying to lap up the excess gloss. his hands haphazardly roam all over your body before lifting you onto the sink, pinning you down as his lips smear your lip gloss everywhere. you moan, trying to match his fervor. the sinful mixing of breaths, saliva, and gloss floods your mind, causing you to wrap your legs around him and bring him closer to you. he welcomes the action, gasping and grinding into you.

by the time he pulls away for air, both of you are left panting like dogs, mouths and chins smothered in sheen.

your eyes never leave sylus' as you wipe your chin, a string of gloss and saliva hanging prettily from your gloved palm. with a groan, he dives into your neck and sinks his teeth into your collarbone. you throw your head back at the pain, whimpering when he soothes the spot with his tongue.

but when sylus traces a finger up your back, you freeze immediately.

why?

oh, because he's unzipping your dress.

"sorry, sweetie," he chuckles into your perfumed skin, savoring your surprised reaction when he drags the zipper all the way down. "we won't be late."

you look at him in confusion, barely processing the silk straps falling off your shoulders.

he leans in and whispers into your ear.

"we won't be going at all."

xavier

Heart attack, IV when I walk the street Vitamins that D, I'm good, I'm healthy

your starlight of a boyfriend collapses onto the bed, his legs hanging off the edge and his pants dangling pathetically from his ankles.

you giggle at the sight, wiping your lips clean of his release. as you rub a drop between your index finger and thumb, you notice the texture's a bit thick, almost like jelly.

"xavier," you call lovingly, rising from your knees and crawling on top of him. he barely responds; his eyes are screwed shut with beads of sweat trailing down his face, neck, chest, legs, everywhere. shit, what did you do to him? he can't get his chest to stop heaving, his mouth to stop watering, and his ears to stop ringing. he can't do anything. not with the way you looked so pretty on top of him, especially after making him release so intensely in your mouth.

"xavier," you repeat as you cradle his face, making his dazed eyes meet yours. "when was the last time you drank water?"

"water?" he pants. "i'm not sure. why do you ask?"

"well," you show him your fingers. he gulps, flushing a deeper shade of red. "this tells me you haven't been drinking enough water."

you get up to retrieve some water from the kitchen. xavier whines at the loss of contact. although he tries to stop you from leaving, you easily slip out of his weak embrace (he literally got his life sucked out of him; cut him some slack). after you reassure him with a kiss on his forehead, you open the door. "i'll be back soon."

he responds with a whimper before closing his eyes. before he knows it, he falls asleep.

not even five minutes have passed when you return to the room, a glass of water in your hand and a packet of vitamins in the other.

"xavier?" after placing the items down on the nightstand, you sit on the bed to admire the view. there he is, sleeping soundly with his shirt unbuttoned and pants unbuckled, his chest slowly rising up and down and his cute nose scrunching every so often. you almost feel bad when you wake him up. almost. as much as you like watching your boyfriend sleep, he needs his water and vitamins, considering how much energy he uses to fight wanderers.

"wake up, xavier," you coo. "you need your vitamins."

he stirs, peeking one eye open to look at you. cute, you think. "i'm too tired, angel." he whines before closing his eye again. "i'll have some later."

"come on," you chuckle. "at least drink some water. you're dehydrated."

hoping to keep him awake, you litter his face with kisses, repeatedly pecking his adorable features. his droopy eyelids, his button nose, his fluffy cheeks, his moist forehead, his small chin—not a single spot is missed.

his little laughs repay your efforts. before you can continue your bombardment of kisses, his arms wrap around your shoulders, successfully pinning you down to him. you're surprised by how quickly he replenished his strength.

"you're trapped," he points out cheekily. "now we can both sleep."

"xavier," it's your turn to whine. "you need to drink some water. besides," you try to get up but fail miserably due to his tight embrace. "you need to scoot up, and i need to lay down properly if we both want to sleep." still no signs of letting you go.

you sigh before poking at your boyfriend's waist, causing him to yelp.

he immediately lets go of you, rubbing the spot you just touched. taking the chance to escape, you stand up and reach for the glass and vitamins.

"meanie," he pouts. "i thought we agreed to not tickle each other for today."

"that's because you try to tickle me all the time," you retort playfully, opening the packet of vitamins. "besides, i only tickle you as a last resort. unlike you, i'm nice." you pop the vitamin in your mouth and bring the glass to your lips.

"as if." he yanks up his pants and crosses his arms. "last time i checked, being nice means letting your boyfriend sleep peacefully," he quips as he turns away from you, hoping his grumpy little act will coax more kisses from you.

instead, a hand comes into his view and grasps the sheets. furrowing his brows, he shifts back to ask what's wrong but is startled to find your face hovering above his. 

"angel, what—"

you press your lips into his, your free hand gripping his chin. on instinct, xavier opens his mouth, expecting your tongue to greet his. however, his eyes widen when he feels something pour in. oh. he greedily swallows the water and vitamin, his fingers weaving into your hair.

you pull away abruptly, a drop of water trickling down the corner of your lips. before he can say anything, you grab the glass of water and drink from it again, your hooded eyes never leaving his. xavier groans at the sight, his chest heaving for the third time today. and it's barely afternoon. oh, you're going to be the death of him.

he's sure of it when you return to his lips, water flowing into his mouth so sensually as his tongue reaches out for more. this time, you rest your entire body on top of him, allowing him to grab at your hips and thrust upward, desperately rubbing against your clothed core and seeking any type of friction that could relieve him of this growing desire you satiated with your mouth less than ten minutes ago. he never wants to drink water alone ever again.

“a-angel,” he moans when you pull away again. “why?” 

“you need more water, xavier.” you tease with a lick of your lips. “gotta make sure my boyfriend is hydrated, ya know?”

with that, you go to stand up and reach for the glass. however, the room spins as xavier pins you down, your positions switched and your wrists restrained above your head. your eyes widen, realizing you might've pushed your boyfriend too far. 

"angel," dark, cerulean eyes burn into you before glancing at the glass. “that's not enough water.”

rafayel

Yeah, white tippy-toe summer, I make him go dumb, duh He doubled down on that text, says that I'm the only one

(heads up, reader doesn't have to be mc but they know about rafayel's identity as the sea god and he calls you his beloved bride)

rafayel isn't sure how he got here.

you, on top of his bare chest, nibbling at his neck and dragging a finger down his clenched abdomen.

"c-cutie," he stammers. "someone might see."

he's not wrong. you're at the beach after all. but it's a private beach, one the artist rented for a date. so really, what's the harm in pinning your boyfriend down in the sand and showing him how much you appreciate him?

"you're the one who said this place was private, raf." you giggle before sinking your teeth into him, eliciting a moan. "besides, we both know why you suggested a date at the beach. don't tell me you forgot." you trail your finger along the waistband of his swim trunks. he jolts, his half-lidded eyes meeting your misty ones.

of course, he didn't forget. but considering the current, scandalous situation he's in right now, his memory is a bit hazy. as you twirl the drawstring with your index finger, rafayel bites his lip and tries to remember how exactly he got here.

last thing he remembers is you excitedly texting him about your package coming in.

a package, pft. no big deal, right?

wrong.

he almost dropped his phone when you sent him a picture of the package, more specifically, you wearing its contents.

a gorgeous two-piece swimsuit in the color of his hair. fuck, lavender has never looked so good on you. the way the tight, skimpy fabric hugged all the right places, making you seem so so malleable. the way you posed in front of the mirror, your face bridling with innocent excitement but your body positioned so so temptingly. shit, he hopes this exhibition ends soon because his slacks feel suffocating all of a sudden.

it wasn't long before he spammed you with a hurricane of texts consisting of flattering emojis and praises about how you're the only one he'll ever love (dramatic but heartwarming) and how he would love to take you on a date at the beach as soon as this stupid exhibition is over so you can swim in your new set to your heart's content (totally not because he wants to see the real thing).

yeah, now he remembers. he got himself into this situation. you even tried to stop him.

"uh," he recalls you hesitating through the call. "aren't you tired from your exhibit?"

"nope," he immediately answers, causing you to raise a brow. "not at all, cutie. i'm in tip-top shape. what better place for us to test your swimsuit than the beach?"

"us?" you repeat amusingly. "since when was testing a swimsuit a two-person thing?"

shit, he got caught.

"raf," you giggle at his silence. "if you want to see me wear this in person, you can always just ask, you know?"

"w-what?! no!" he acts as if you insulted his artwork. "i just thought it'd be a good opportunity for us to go on a date and to test the quality of your swimsuit! what if one day you go into the water and it gets untied or something? what if i'm not there to protect you from prying eyes? you can never be careful enough with swimsuits, especially shipped ones!"

"uh-huh," you drawl skeptically. "i'm sure a triple-knotted bikini will SOMEHOW get untied by the waves."

"come on, cutie," rafayel whines. "i know a perfect, private place! i'll even bring the food, the blankets, everything! please?" (he purposely emphasized "private" because no way in the seven seas is he going to let anyone look at you in a bikini)

you sigh before observing yourself in the mirror once more. the bikini DID look good, and you DID buy it for future swimming dates with rafayel. might as well, right? besides, you can't say no to him, especially when he begs so cutely like that.

"fine, raf," he remembers you giving in with an endearing sigh. "send me the address of the beach once you're done. i'll stop by your place to pack your swimming trunks."

and here you are, resting on top of him and drawing figure eights with your fingertips IN his swimming trunks.

he would laugh at the irony if it weren't for your provocative actions. you were the one who brought him his swimming trunks, and now, you were the one making him wish you didn't bring them so he could see how pretty your fingers looked right next to his—

yeah, he definitely got himself into this situation. he has no one to blame but himself for his predicament. it's his fault he's currently twitching and throbbing underneath you as you breathe into his neck and tease doodles into his thighs.

"oh fuck, cutie—" rafayel jerks his head back when you suck on his adam's apple. your mouth felt so good. you felt so good. 

after pulling back with a 'pop,' you trace the red mark with your free hand, admiring your artwork on your artist of a lover. unfortunately for him (fortunately, really), this causes him to squirm uncontrollably. the simultaneous stimulation from your right hand on his thigh and your left hand on his neck was just too much for the lemurian. he swears he's this close to bursting all over the sand like a messy, wet bubble. 

suddenly, you stop, withdrawing both of your hands from his body. 

"c-cutie?" he lifts his neck to look at you but finds himself confused as to why you're sitting up. though, his confusion is quelled when you reach behind your neck. 

oh. 

your hands come into view, each one tugging on the strings of your top.

oh fuck. 

he doesn't even see your top fall. no. he's completely frozen (and hard) when you lay back down on him, smushing your now-exposed chest into his abdomen, allowing him a view that brings roses to his cheeks. (he can feel your nipples rubbing against him).

"oh, god of the tides," you purr with a smirk as you press your ear into his chest, relishing in his rapid heartbeats. "you promised you would test this swimsuit with me." before he can deny your reminder of his mistake from the earlier call, you grab his hand and bring it to rest against your swimsuit bottoms, causing his breath to hitch. "won't you make good on your promise?" 

rafayel swallows shakily before nodding. 

"anything for my beloved bride." 

zayne

Mm, yeah, I make him lose his cool Yeah, I make him go mmmmmm ah! ah!

doctor zayne, the epitome of calm and control, reduced to this.

a red-faced mess, losing his cool in a rocking chair, thanks to his lover shaving his chin on his lap.

his lover, who just so happens to be wearing a nightgown, a silk, sapphire nightgown with lace ruffles and ribbons that drove the man insane.

to make matters worse (better), your bare thighs were on either side of his hips, caressing and stroking him whenever you would move to shave his chin.

don't even get him started on the fact that you're sitting right on top of his crotch. he prays to any merciful soul out there that you don't feel him growing down there-

he inhales sharply when you reach behind him for a towel, your chest mere millimeters from his face.

"you okay, zayne?" you ask with faux concern.

"yes," he clenches his jaw. it's taking him everything to not dive in and lick, suck, bite—anything to relieve him of this torment. "please hurry."

"hurry?" you pout with a tilt of your head. "but why?" you lift his chin to wipe some excess shaving cream. "do you not want me to shave you?"

"no, darling. it's just—" his hands fly to your waist for stability when you place the towel back in its place. shit, every time you lift yourself onto your knees to reach behind him, the chair moves more and more, resulting in a pattern where when he leans back, you press into him, and when you lean back, he presses into you. it's not helping that this pattern deliciously resembles a certain rhythm in bed.

"it's just?" you repeat to him, stroking his jaw to inspect for stray hairs.

he doesn't say anything. how can he? he can't just spill about how badly he wants to kiss your sweet lips, squeeze at your delectable chest, rip your enticing nightgown apart, and take everything you have to offer. no, he can't. not when you approached him so innocently with a cute smile on your face after he came home, asking if you could shave him. (he almost fell to his knees when he saw what you were wearing). not when you look so beautiful gazing at him from above, handling his skin with addictive yet gentle touches, and glowing underneath the moonlight from the open windows. shaking his head, he grips your waist with renewed resolve.

"it's nothing," he closes his eyes. "please continue." he would rather drink alcohol than misinterpret your innocent intentions.

except there was nothing innocent about your intentions at all. you admit, it's fun to tease zayne like this. the way his lips would chase after your fingers whenever you traced them, the way his eyes would falter whenever you leaned in, the way his breath would hitch whenever you moved your hips, oh it all made you feel wanted. and who could want more than a gorgeous, capable doctor who looks at you as if he's going to die if he can't have you?

you. you want more. you WANT him to have you, take you, right here on this rocking chair. you thought teasing him with a few shifts of your hips and some purposeful closings of distances between his face and yours would relay the message. but no. he's either completely oblivious or has the will of a steel that's been fortified ten times over. because even though he's made it incredibly clear that he wants what you want (his blushing cheeks and shortage of breaths are hard to miss), all he's done is sit there and take your teasing.

you frown, retracting your hand. what's it going to take for doctor zayne, the epitome of calm and control, to give in?

a lightbulb flashes in your head.

"hang on, i missed a spot," you lie, lifting yourself up once more to reach for the shaving cream next to you. "i'll make this quick."

and with that, you slam your hips down.

he groans out loud, eyebrows furrowing and fingers tightening around your hips. he still hasn't opened his eyes though.

"are you sure you're okay, zayne?" you ask innocently, twisting left and right. "i'm worried about you."

"w-why," he starts hoarsely, his fingers gripping for dear life, trying to stop you from moving so damn much. "why would you be worried?"

"oh, i don't know," you smear shaving cream all over his jaw before trailing your fingers down to his neck. "you just seem so…" you slowly trace a heart on his collarbone, eliciting a pretty gasp from him. "out of it."

zayne's eyes jerk open, glaring at you with unprecedented focus. you smile cheekily before pressing yourself deeper into him, eager to bear witness to what he'll do and say since he finally opened his eyes.

though, your smile doesn't last long. in an instant, his hands pin yours behind your back, causing your back to arch and your lips to part.

"i'm starting to think," he secures your wrists in his right hand and brings his left to his face, wiping away the mess you made. "you're doing this on purpose."

you grin. finally. he finally got the message. unable to hide your excitement, you lean in next to his ear and whisper, "what are you going to do about it, doc-tor?"

he inhales sharply, yanking your wrists.

"perhaps," he growls. "it's time you get a taste of your own medicine. prescribed by yours truly."

[bvidzsoo]

The trace of you

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: psychiatrist!Jeong Yunho x patient!female reader

ꕤ Warning: bullying, mistreatment, ptsd, mentions of insanity & abuse, mental health talks, psychiatric diagnose, unethical thoughts and actions ꕤ Word count: 25.1k ꕤ Rating: mature ꕤ Genre: dated around the late 1800's, psychiatrist x patient, lots of yearning, mutual pinning, forbidden love, inspired by Alias Grace, angst ꕤ Summary: Being caged inside your home for a wrongdoing you can't even remember seems to not have the effect people have been expecting. With the arrival of a foreign doctor with studies unheard of before, your life takes a new turn. Will Doctor Jeong prove your innocence, or will he fall into your web like everyone else? Are you sane, or is he just as insane as his patients?

A/N: Helloo, my lovelies! ^^ Wrapping up this story took way too long due to me having some unplanned health issues that are still (?) kicking my ass...anyways, keep in mind while you're reading this that there are probably historical inaccuracies to this story, especially to South Korean history that I briefly read through when constructing Yunho character's background. The dresses MC wears also aren't the most accurate, but I hope you can look past that and imagine instead whatever you'd like. I watched the mini-series Alias Grace and was rather inspired by it, so you will find similarities to it within this story. I am no medical professional, so the diagnosis MC is given might be inaccurate even though I have taken my time to research these things. Let me know if I should tag anything else as a warning, and I really hope you enjoy this story as I have tried making it a bit different. Let me know your thoughts about it, I am always excited to read your feedback! <3 Oh, and, I hope Santa brings you something sweet tonight, this is my not so small present for you all! ^^ divider

            The old clock’s ticking seemed to only get louder by the second. The sheer curtains were pulled to the side to allow more sunlight inside the tea room, the grand doors opened to let in the late fresh summer breeze. The white hydrangeas lining the paths leading towards the back garden were gorgeous and carried a strong scent with them, I could smell it from my spot on the soft faded pink cushion of the sofa brought all the way from France. The tea room had been remodelled not long ago. There was something about it that gave old cottage vibes, but it has now been upgraded to a more fashionable Parisian feel. It was pretty, with hues of light peach and a darker coral, however, I used to like more the cosy feeling of the sage green and baby blue colours that had decorated the room once. Karina liked it more this way, she had said something about the lighter colours giving the impression of a bigger room. I did not understand why the tea room was required to look grander than it already was, but I didn’t question her judgment. It was best if I didn’t, not out loud, at least.

The servants were quietly waiting outside the room as my mother paced in front of us, Karina perched on a fancy chair with an abandoned book in her hands. I knew the ticking of the old clock and the silence was driving her mad, but I remained silent as I gazed forward, eyes on the gravel path. I longed to walk in the meadow close to our house, but I wasn’t allowed to roam around on my own. Even inside my own home, I was under constant surveillance. The doctors have said it was for my own sake, but it felt like I was in a continuous cage. It was suffocative, I couldn’t sleep some nights due to it, not even after drinking Mrs. Humphrey’s delicious camomile tea. My last hope resided in summer, in the warm breeze that kissed my cold skin, everything a lush green where I looked, to keep me sane. As sane as it could, since I was deemed a madwoman long ago.

Unlike the others who hired chauffeurs and dated carriages with old horses, this doctor arrived by a fancy patent motorcar. It wasn’t him driving it, at least the servants had whispered that to each other, but his long wool coat looked expensive too. My mother finally stopped pacing and Karina sighed in irritation when there was a knock at the front door. One maid stepped forward and opened the door for the doctor, gently greeting him. I couldn’t hear his voice, I was trying to catch the song of the birds outside, but I could feel the shift in the air. It was warmer inside as if the sun had stepped through our threshold. It warmed my skin like none other. Finally, the doctor was led towards the tea room, my back to him as my lips moved in a whispered song that comforted me. If I ignored the coil of my stomach and the sheen layer of sweat over my brows, I could convince myself that I was fine. That whoever came to check on me wasn’t another vicious man eager to torture a damned soul like mine.

“My apologies, ma’am, I am unfamiliar with these roads.” The man’s voice was deep yet soft, like honey, thick but inoffensive. At least if I told myself that, it calmed my rapid heartbeat. As I continued sitting rigidly, my fingers wrung together, the tremors never disappeared. It was something natural, the other doctors have concluded, something they couldn’t fix about me. Another thing they couldn’t fix about me. It was fine, I knew I had been damned a long time ago.

“Oh, it is no issue, we are glad you made it, Doctor.” My mother’s voice was filled with deep relief as the crease between her brows finally disappeared, hands locked behind her back as she rushed towards the entrance. Karina was surprisingly silent, but her expression spoke volumes. Her eyes had widened and her mouth had parted, fingers barely clutching the book in her hands anymore. I gulped, trying to steady my irregular breathing. I knew what was coming, the same questions and objects this doctor, too, would use to check my stability. I dreaded it all, I wanted to scream and throw a vase and make it shatter against the ground, but I would only be deemed even crazier. My eyes shook when I heard footsteps approach, heavier than those of my mother or Karina, it was the man. The Doctor. He was coming further inside, I could feel his eyes trained on my nape, no doubt curious and with a glint madder in his eyes than in mine, here to dissect me, pick me apart just to never fix me. I saw polished black shoes stop before me, and the lump in my throat almost made it impossible to speak up.

“Miss Harold, my name is Doctor Jeong Yunho.” Then, unlike any other doctor had done, this one’s knees bent until he was crouching in front of me, looking at me. His eyes were round and kind, a dark brown unlike my icy ones, and they were filled with warmth and softness I hadn’t seen in any other man. His nose had a perfect slope and his fair skin was sun-kissed, the apple of his cheeks a rosy red. His lips weren’t too big but pouty and full, asking to be traced gently by soft fingertips. I shuddered, completely taken aback by his youth and beauty. The man was from faraway lands, yet judging by his speech, you couldn’t tell until you saw him. He was gorgeous, he was breathtaking, “Would you feel safe if it was just the two of us in this room?”

No, I wanted to scream. My fingers tightened against each other, I gulped and hesitantly nodded, our eyes spilling into each other’s as if a spell had them locked together. His features were serene and sincere, not a frown on his beautiful face to create creases, just a soft smile pulling at his lips. It was disarming and frightening at the same time. Then, the doctor smiled even wider as he stood back up, his height intimidating. My heart raced as I watched him, unable to take my eyes off him. And he was still looking at me as he spoke up, “If you could excuse us, I’d like to speak to Miss Harold in privacy. It won’t take long, I promise. I’m only here today to familiarise myself with her.”

“Good, yes, Doctor, whatever you need.” My mother sounded reassured as she gripped Karina’s arm, yanking her out of the tea room as she seemingly didn’t want to go. Her eyes were fixed on Doctor Jeong, and her cheeks were blushed, “Would you like a cup of tea before we leave?”

“No, but thank you, Mrs. Harold.” The doctor hummed, his voice warm, as he sat across from me. He had no leather tool bag, nothing. He only carried a ragged satchel bag, a dark green with patches made to it, and it seemed mostly empty. My heart couldn’t settle down, not yet. Maybe his tools were hidden in the pockets of his long black coat. He hadn’t taken it off, and he looked like he wasn’t planning on staying for long. I couldn’t decide whether that thought reassured or unsettled me even more. Silence stretched on as we stared at each other, my throat dry, but I made no moves to drink from my fine China cup. I gulped when the doctor finally moved, reaching inside his bag. Here it came, the torture for the next hours, he was just like all those other doctors. I could feel tears prick at my eyes and my chest felt on fire, my lungs constricting, but the world seemed to stop moving when the man finally retracted his hand from inside his ragged bag. He held no tool to harm me, instead, a slightly withering daisy was gripped daintily between his long fingers.

“I plucked this for you on my way here, Miss Harold.” The doctor spoke, leaning forward to extend his hand towards me. A daisy, from a man like him. A man who felt like the sun itself, warming my cold particles, how unusual. When I did not move to take it from him, his happy expression seemed to fall slightly. Before he could feel more disappointment, I quickly leaned forward and grabbed it from his hand. Our fingertips brushed for a second and the doctor gulped, loudly. I loved wearing my copper hair in a simple bun, lined with fresh daisies. How coincidental that I had made myself a daisy crown just this morning, and now, the doctor had brought one for me. It would’ve been endearing if it was from a suitor, but I haven’t had one since I was sent to the asylum.

“Everything has a price, Doctor, what must I offer in exchange for this?” I found my voice, less shaky than I had expected. My insides were twisting in every possible direction, my heart hammering so fast it made me feel lightheaded. I wondered whether I’d remember the doctor tomorrow morning still. It wouldn’t be the first time I experienced sudden memory loss.

The doctor frowned, sitting back on the couch stiffly, “Perhaps, your honesty? Will you answer my questions?”

“Will you measure my head and poke at my skin like all those other doctors?”

“No, I’m not here to physically evaluate you. I’m here to glance inside your mind.”

“That unsettles me more than getting cut open to determine whether my blood is still red or not.”

“Had they done that to you?”

“Yes, you should rather ask what had they not done to me, Doctor Jeong.”

The doctor gulped, his dark eyebrows pulled together now and his lips downturned. He fished for something in his pocket, and a small pair of spectacles were placed low on his nose. It made him look more mature, more serious. I wondered if he wore it so that the other doctors would take him seriously, or whether because his eyesight wasn’t the best.

“I won’t cut you open, Miss Harold, I won’t even touch you during my examinations.” My heart skipped a beat despite hammering uncomfortably against my chest, and I wondered why. His words, however, did bring a little comfort.

“How will you determine what is wrong with me, then?” I raised my eyebrows, my fingers popping when I released the tension from them. I laid my palms flatly against my sage green dress, and the doctor’s eyes fleetingly glanced at them.

“By talking, by listening to your stories and thoughts.” The doctor spoke of a practice I hadn’t heard of before, “If you trust me, that is, your secrets will be safe with me.”

“Will they be?” I smiled, a little ashen, “The committee will want to hear what I said, there are no secrets we can keep with each other, Doctor Jeong.”

The doctor hummed, an almost amused smile pulling at his lips, “My profession requires me not to disclose anything personal, so, even if the committee wants to hear it, I won’t relay our conversations word for word, Miss Harold.”

I gulped, analysing the man’s face. He looked sincere, his eyebrows didn’t twitch and he wasn’t sweating despite the coat still around him. It was summer, and it was warm outside, albeit not inside the tea room, that is why the grand doors were opened to let the warmth in. This room reflected a lot about how I felt on the inside, always cold and hollow, waiting desperate for the warm sun to fill me up with its hotness until it burned me away. I wanted to burn, I wanted to be freed of all I had to endure until now.

“You need my honesty, but are you willing to be transparent with me?” My question seemed to take the doctor off guard as his eyes momentarily widened. Then, he clasped his long fingers together and placed his arms on his thighs, leaning forward in his seat.

“As long as it helps us move forward and remains professional, I can be transparent with you, Miss Harold.”

“You must’ve read the reports about me, do you think I’m mad, Doctor Jeong?”

“Isn’t everyone a little mad, Miss Harold?”

“I don’t know, you are the doctor between the two of us, Doctor Jeong.”

“Indeed, and I claim that nobody is without faults or sins.”

“Then you must be a religious person, no?”

“My profession contradicts my beliefs, yes, but I do believe there is something stronger and greater than us, Miss Harold. If we ask for forgiveness, we shall be pardoned.”

“Father Leon would love to have you at his service, Doctor Jeong.”

The doctor chuckled, a small smile settling over his lips as I realised I hadn’t looked away from the man since he had sat down on the couch. That was news. I never looked anyone in the eyes, as I didn’t feel comfortable. I had been told by previous doctors that they could see straight to my soul, my wicked mind and rottenness in the blueness of my irises. Now I never looked long enough to let them see what was inside my eyes, but this doctor didn’t seem to be afraid of me, of what he might find inside my eyes. Could he not see the darkness of my soul? Or was his faith so strong he preferred to spot the brightness before he was proven wrong by the wicked that permeated those like myself?

“Do you believe in God?” Doctor Jeong’s voice was louder than before, more filled with emotion as if my answer was crucial to him.

“I suppose I must. Everyone says the devil was the one to make me act like this, and I wonder where had God gone to let the devil do this to me.” Doctor Jeong’s cheeks became a darker colour as he licked his lips, mouth parting, but no words left it. I hummed, placing my right hand over my left one. Doctor Jeong wore one single band of silver ring on his middle finger on his right hand. He couldn’t have been married, then, I concluded.

“Perhaps you’ll find an answer to your question once I have done my job here.” Doctor Jeong’s tone caught a solemn note, but I said nothing as he grabbed his satchel bag and adjusted the collar of his white shirt. I watched the motion, eyes glued to the fair skin of his neck even as the man stood. His ears were flushing red too, I wondered why. I suppose the summer warmth had gotten to him at last.

“You are leaving already, doctor?” I asked as I looked up, standing when I realised he was about to depart. My mother had raised me with good manners, I would have even walked him to the front door if it weren’t for Karina suddenly barging inside, her jawline set tight as she sent me a fierce look of displeasure.

“Eager to have him all to yourself, sister?” Karina’s voice dripped with venom as she rushed further inside, rudely grabbing the doctor’s arm. What if he didn’t want to be touched? Karina lacked the awareness to consider that for a second. The doctor remained silent as he looked between me and Karina, and I just chuckled, looking down to the floor.

“I already have him all to myself, no need to be eager about it too.” The forced smile on Karina’s face would’ve satisfied me, but now I wanted both her and the doctor gone from my sight. My heart was racing again and I couldn’t breathe well, the tremors of my hands would’ve made me spill my tea if I were to drink from it. Perhaps Matilda could accompany me around the gardens, I wished to become one with nature for the remainder of the day.

“I shall see you tomorrow, Miss Harold.” Doctor Jeong bowed his head slightly before he let himself be dragged away by Karina, who sent me a glare that would’ve scared anyone else but me. I let them leave as I crumbled back onto the sofa, suddenly feeling faint. I couldn’t decide whether the doctor would pick my mind apart or not, and it was scarier that I had no idea how he’d do it.

            The air felt oppressive and thick, yet I could see the doctor’s motorcar approaching in the distance. Matilda had been kind enough to accompany me on my walk around the gardens, but she had rushed me back inside the tea room when my mother sent a butler to alert us that the doctor was fast approaching. Now, sitting on a chair by the open grand doors, I could see the dark clouds gathering around in the distance. It was as if they were trying to chase the doctor away, but he kept approaching until the motorcar's engine died down and his heavy footsteps echoed around the house. There was a knock at the door as my eyes watched a small white bird on a branch of a tree, my mind absent. The heavy footsteps approached further inside, and I turned my head to look up at the doctor.

“Hello, Miss Harold.” He said with an easy smile on his lips, holding his satchel bag in both hands. He didn’t wear a coat today, and the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up. His nape was sweaty as the top buttons were unbuttoned. The heat had finally gotten to him, it could get rather cruel in this part of the county.

“Hello, Doctor Jeong.” The smile came easily to my face. Despite only meeting him yesterday, my heart wasn’t racing like before. Perhaps it was the absence of his leather tool bag and the fact that the man was so young and innocent-looking. Before we could proceed, however, there was a knock at the door.

“Doctor Jeong,” Karina’s unmistakable voice called out with a shake to it, “Would you like some tea before you start your…examination?”

“The heat is already killing me, but thank you.” He declined with a gentle flick of his wrist, yet Karina lingered in the doorway. She was only looking at the doctor, her favourite dress ironed out and tightly cinched at the waist. I turned in my seat and watched her with amusement. She wasn’t subtle at all.

“May I help you?” The doctor asked, sounding confused as Karina stood still and slightly jumped, looking down abashed.

“No, I’m sorry.” Then she finally departed, closing the door behind her as Doctor Jeong had asked. I slowly looked up at the handsome doctor, finding his eyes with ease as his spectacles were close to slipping off his nose again.

“Won’t you sit, Doctor?” I pointed towards the chair, which was placed a decent distance away from mine, just by the other door. The breeze had picked up into a strong wind now, it blew inside and rattled the sheer curtains. I welcomed it with closed eyes while the doctor settled in, the rustling of paper caught my attention as I slowly fluttered my eyes open once again. It was silent for a second as I looked at the doctor, who was already watching me. His pouty lips were parted and his ears seemed to be red. As my eyes travelled all over his fair skin, I noticed the glint of something silver underneath his white shirt. It appeared to be a necklace, and once he leaned forward to retrieve a pencil from his satchel bag, I spotted a silver cross hanging off it. He really was a believer, then.

“Did you want to sit here?” The doctor asked as he leaned back in his chair, crossing one long leg over the other. I hummed, clasping my hands together in my lap as the tremors slightly subsided. My heart was at ease, it finally wasn’t frantic like during breakfast and my walk in the gardens.

“Yes, I find nature most beautiful during this time,” I answered the doctor, turning my head to gaze at the white hydrangeas. Their scent was so strong I could almost taste it in my mouth.

“So, you like storms, Miss Harold?” The doctor asked and I chuckled, turning my head away when there was lightning in the distance.

“No, doctor, I’m terrified of storms.” I smiled as the doctor paused, he was jotting down my words in his notebook, I came to realise. He quirked an eyebrow, so I continued, “My father died saving me after I had fallen off the ship, the storm was terrible.”

The doctor hummed, his eyebrows slightly furrowing as he quickly noted what I had just said, “Are you afraid of water, then?”

“No,” I shook my head, our eyes meeting and staying locked as if we had been hypnotised by each other, “I’m only afraid of the destruction a storm can cause, even on land.”

“Have you seen many of those?”

“Yes, our neighbours’ barn was destroyed just last month, it was terrible.”

“Have you helped him?”

“As much as a woman can help, yes, I offered them my servants to help rebuild the barn.”

“Then you’re caring.”

“I suppose, if you say so, Doctor.”

“Do you not consider yourself a caring person, Miss Harold?” I smiled, watching the doctor’s expression even out as his pencil pressed a hole into the thin paper of his notebook.

“As a doctor, do you care for your patients?” I raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious since I hadn’t met anyone like him. If he dissected the mind, he must care for his patients, no?

“Within the limitations of my oath and law, yes, I do care for them.” Then the doctor seemed to consider his next words, licking his lips as his eyes bore into mine. They were wide and dark, and it was easy to get lost in them, “All I wish is to do is find a cure for them, to see them walk free of their shackles.”

“Can you cure madness, Doctor Jeong?” My voice sounded small, almost afraid. The doctor’s eyebrows furrowed as he averted his eyes, messily scribbling something down in his notebook. As I peeked at it, I realised the alphabet I was familiar with blended with one I did not know. Perhaps it was his mother tongue, then.

“Every person has a trigger, Miss Harold, if I find yours, I can cure it.” Then, he bit his bottom lip, and the added words were silent, “If you’ll let me.”

Silence stretched on, and I felt my heart race for the first time since I had seen the doctor today. It was unsettling, I felt my cheeks warm up. The redness from the doctor’s ears seemed to spread down towards his neck and chest, I wondered if his skin was as smooth as it looked at first glance. Then, without considering my next words, I let the truth slip past my chapped lips.

“I want to be free, sir, I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life.” I had been young when I was convicted. My fate could have been much worse, but the men my father had been once acquittanced with owed him one, so they came to my aid. My sentence was very generous, the judge deemed me mad and unfit to be locked up in a women’s penitentiary, and instead, I was bound to constant surveillance for the rest of my life. Even when I slept, Matilda was there with me. Or my mother when the maid was too tired to continue keeping watch.

The doctor wetted his lips again, leaning slightly forward in his seat. The pencil was clutched tightly between his long fingers, and his tone had dropped lower too, “I can rid you of your burden if you’re honest with me, Miss Harold, I can set you free. But for that, you have to tell me everything that happened and made you do what you did.”

“Why won’t you say it, Doctor? Have you not read the reports? I was the talk of the whole town, still am, actually.”

“Something isn’t right about the reports, have you been truthful in your testimony?”

“Wouldn’t I be breaching the law if I wasn’t?”

“People lie all the time, Miss Harold.”

“May God forgive me for my sins, then, Doctor Jeong.”

A vein in the doctor’s forehead bulged as his jawline strained, mouth open but no words leaving his pretty lips. He huffed, then leaned back in the chair, eyebrows furrowing deeply as he wrote messily in the notebook once again. I smiled as I watched him, his black hair fell into his eyes as he looked down. His spectacles threatened to slide down his nose altogether, and I itched to fix it for him.

“Let’s start at the beginning, then, shall we?” The doctor’s tone had turned uncharacteristically soft as if he was talking to a frightened child. There was a fire in his eyes as he looked up once again and I gulped, feeling unsettled under his sudden undivided attention. His left palm pressed into the side of his thigh, his fingers tapping his black slacks rhythmically. I gulped, then nodded.

“What would you like to know about me, Doctor Jeong?”

“Tell me about your childhood. Your likes and dislikes, who is most dear to you and why. Have you loved before? Do you feel lonely now? Just tell me everything that crosses your mind.”

He wanted to know everything about me. It felt unravelling, dangerous. He had said my secrets would remain with him, would he note them down in the language only he spoke? Or would he tell the committee right after he was finished with his examination? Taking a deep breath, I turned my head to gaze outside once again, my lungs deflating as I exhaled long and loud. The lightning was closer now, the little birds were nowhere to be seen. Something coiled in my guts as my father’s face flashed behind my eyes, his warm smile and his kind tone still so present in my mind. If he were still here, perhaps nothing would’ve happened. There would be no Karina and Mr. Brooks, I wouldn’t be condemned for life.

“Much like I am afraid of storms, Doctor Jeong, I’m afraid of solace. It hadn’t always been like this, while my father was alive, I had never felt alone for even a second. He’d take me to the woods on horseback, we’d pluck flowers for my mother and he’d teach me everything he knew about the fauna and the poisonous mushrooms. He’d read stories for me before bedtime, and he had even taught me how to read. He was my favourite person, now it’s my mother and Matilda. She’s a young maid, we had found her hiding in the stable last winter. She was almost frozen to death, I thought I might be giving her a second chance at life if I took her in as my personal maid. She doesn’t speak much and I can’t tell whether she hates me or not, but I know she loves it when I take her on walks in the garden. I think she’s a little bit like me. Out there, in nature, we can both pretend to be free, just two girls roaming between flowers and giggling about the future.” The doctor’s hand seemed to be moving with my words, it was as if he tried to capture and note down everything I said. For that sole reason, I didn’t speak quickly, I let the words settle both in his mind and on his paper.

“I suppose my childhood isn’t anything special, I come from an aristocratic family, you must imagine what it was like. I was raised to have good manners and bow in front of men, but not without having an opinion and a mouth to voice them with. My father had been a fair man, he and my mother had always made every decision together, so he raised me to find a man who sees me as his equal and his other half. There had been moments when I had rebelled, I think that is only normal, but I was never a moody or explosive child. You can ask my mother about that, she’ll tell you so too.” I said as the doctor nodded along to my words, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. I took a deep breath and watched his face as I continued talking, “There was only one thing I loved as much as I loved my father, and it was ballet. But that, too, was taken away after I was admitted to the asylum. Ever since then, I haven’t touched my pointe shoes. I had even asked Matilda to hide them deep inside my closet, my heart breaks anytime I catch a glimpse of them.”

A lump formed in my throat just from speaking about it, I could feel tears in my eyes as I watched the tree branches move violently with the strong wind. The willow tree looked gorgeous in the wake of the storm, and I wished nothing but to step under it and close my eyes, let the wind destroy my bun and rip the fresh daisies out of my hair. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the dark flashes of memories I had tried to forget so badly. The asylum was a cursed place, filled with evil people who only caused more harm. I hated it and everyone that was associated with it. I could feel the doctor’s eyes on me, and he gulped, inhaling sharply. I glanced at him, and he looked amazed for some reason.

“Can you tell me about the asylum, Miss Harold?” My muscles tensed despite the doctor’s soft tone, and my heart started racing painfully in my chest. I thought wringing my fingers tighter together would stop the tremors from worsening, but it didn’t. I felt lightheaded as my own shrill screams echoed in my ears, but I couldn’t speak. My bottom lip shook as I took a breath through my mouth, and shook my head frantically, “Alright, it’s alright, Miss Harold. We won’t speak of it, take deep breaths.”

The doctor leaned forward in his seat and I rigidly turned to face him, my eyes wide in fear as I waited for him to strike. Maybe his mask would finally slip, maybe the tools were hidden inside his satchel bag. The notebook, his scribbling, my stories…maybe they were all just distractions. And yet, the doctor’s eyes remained kind and ridden with worry as he seemed to breathe through his mouth as well, as if he was mirroring my actions. I closed my eyes as the first thunder shook the ground, and inhaled deeply, keeping the air in my lungs until I couldn’t no more. I released the shuddered breath and opened my eyes again, only to see the doctor gulp, loudly. His pupils were dilated and made his eyes seem completely black, his fair cheeks flushed deeply as his long fingers tightened around his pencil once again.

“Perhaps we should end the examination here, Doctor Jeong.” My voice was strained as I gulped around nothing, “The storm is here. You should head home before it worsens.”

As if nature had agreed with me, the air filled with electricity as lightning struck not far away, the thunder loud and following shortly after. Doctor Jeong’s jaw tightened, but he nodded, humming approvingly. He swiped his bottom lip with his thumb before he grabbed his satchel bag, adjusting his spectacles as they did slip off the slope of his nose. Thunder wracked the earth again as a colder breeze billowed past us, ruffling my dress and the hair that had fallen out of my bun. It also moved Doctor Jeong’s messy hair, jelled back and out of his eyes in an attempt to make him look classy. As the doctor stood, slipping the notebook inside his satchel bag too, I mirrored him, smoothing down my dress.

“I call what we do here sessions, Miss Harold, and not examination.” The smile was easy on his lips and I hummed, flinching when the wind slammed the grand door of the tea room against the wall. Perhaps it was time to close them, “I shall see you tomorrow?”

“Of course, Doctor Jeong, please take care on your way home.” My eyebrows furrowed in worry as Doctor Jeong nodded, opening his mouth to say something just as the door to the tea room was yanked open. The man in the doorway was unfamiliar, but he looked worried.

“Mr Jeong, we should go now if we don’t want to be stranded somewhere on the road during the storm.” He must be the doctor’s driver, then. My mother appeared behind the driver, looking as worried as if the doctor was her own child.

“We have guest rooms, Doctor, you could always stay.” My mother was a kind and loving woman, her intentions hardly questionable, “I would hate it if something were to happen to you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Harold, but I shall be on my way.” Doctor Jeong smiled widely, then faced me once again, and bowed his head much like yesterday. Perhaps it was their custom to take farewell like that, so, I bowed back to him. The doctor’s eyes widened for a second before his smile widened just slightly, and then he and his diver were gone, my mother’s expression was worried as she watched them leave from the front porch. Big droplets of water started falling from the dark clouds, and I quickly closed the grand doors as Matilda rushed inside to assist me. The rhythmic fall of the rain was a glaring reminder of my irregularly fast heartbeat.

The eyes were windows to one’s soul, or so Yunho had been taught. He had dealt with many cases during his practice period, and now as a certified psychiatrist, he had gained even more popularity in the West. He had no choice but to move at a young age, the world was an ever-changing place. He was young and curious, he wished to explore and find people that needed his expertise. But there was something so mesmerising about her eyes which left him unravelled and flustered like nothing else. Her words dripped with honey, and Yunho could swear he heard angels singing, accompanying her soft tone whenever she told stories. He was captivated. He ached to write down every single word she uttered, he felt desperate to pick apart her brain, to look inside it, to fix her. He was desperate to understand what had triggered her manic episode, he was desperate to tell the committee that she was innocent. But he was a doctor first and foremost, and his job forbade him from any personal attachment towards his patients. But whenever he looked into her icy blue eyes, the breeze brushing the fallen copper strands of her hair against her sun-kissed cheeks, he felt his very own soul stir and reach out in desperation to connect with hers, to possess it. She was a madwoman, and he was a man desperate to stay sane in her company.

            Another thing I completely wished to be free of was dinners, where I was forced to sit with my so-called happy family. The bags under Mr Brooks's eyes had been getting darker and darker lately, and the creases in his forehead were an obvious sign that something was worrying him. But it wasn’t my place to ask questions, so I continued to silently notice the small changes in his mood and behaviour. He had stopped pampering Karina, which was completely unheard of, and she was loud and clear with her complaints. She had wanted a silk nightgown just last week, but her father had denied her of it. He didn’t mention the cause, he only said she already has more than enough nightgowns. The clinking of silverware gave me something to focus on as my eyes were cast on the brussels sprouts on my plate, pushing around it as I didn’t enjoy their bitter taste. But Mrs Humphrey had cooked dinner with love, so I didn’t want to leave anything on my plate tonight. The silence around the table was broken as my mother grabbed her glass of wine, her kind eyes settling on me.

“Y/N, my dear, how are your examinations going?” I paused, feeling everyone’s eyes in the dining room on me. I gulped down the food I had in my mouth and tapped with a napkin at my lips, letting my hands fall in my lap as I hummed. Doctor Jeong’s words rang clearly in my mind, what we were doing was called sessions.

“They are called sessions, ‘ma, and they are going well,” I spoke gently, hoping she’d find my words reassuring. I knew she was constantly worrying about me, always fussing and around thinking I wouldn’t notice. I might be absent-minded a lot these days, but I’m mostly aware of my surroundings still. Mr Brooks nodded once, looking pleased as he wolfed down the steak Mrs Humphrey had made to be spicey, just like Mr Brooks liked it.

“That is lovely to hear,” My mother beamed at me, meanwhile Karina scoffed under her breath, “Do you find communication with the doctor difficult, perhaps? Or is everything clear between you two?”

Mr. Brooks nodded along, one eyebrow raised as he watched me curiously. I adjusted myself in my chair and plastered on a little smile, “Doctor Jeong is well-versed and rather attentive. He notes down everything I say in his notebook, and meanwhile, I have noticed he scribbles along in his mother tongue as well, I find no difficulties understanding him. He’s coherent and speaks English as if he was born around here.”

“That’s a very reassuring thing to hear, my dear.” Mr Brooks spoke up with a smile, the corners of his lips tugging up. Karina’s jawline was set tight as she let her fork clamper down loudly against her plate, her eyebrows raised mockingly.

“Why are we letting her spend time alone with that doctor, again? How is that helping her?” Her tone was high-pitched, filled with blatant jealousy that Mr Brooks and my mother remained oblivious to.

“Sweetheart, we’ve discussed this already,” Mr Brooks said with a tired sigh, giving his daughter a disapproving look, “Y/N needs a new medical approach, and Doctor Jeong is the best in this field. He came all the way here from South Korea when he was still just an apprentice. I’ve read up on him, he’s solved cases of mass hysteria and other mental issues no doctor could even come close to. Let’s not have this conversation again, Karina.”

Mr Brooks was mostly calling me insane to my face, but his words held no malice and I knew his intentions were pure. I couldn’t resent him for wanting to find a cure for me, something that could finally fix me. He had no obligation to look out for me like this, I wasn’t his daughter by blood, yet he had only treated me with kindness and understanding my whole life. He was a good man, perhaps a bit too absent from the household, but I could see in his eyes that he loved my mother dearly, and that was more than enough for me to accept him into our home. He couldn’t replace my father, but he filled the void that sometimes got too much.

“I think she just needs attention,” Karina hissed under her breath as she slammed her fist on the table, making the maids behind her jump, “What are you waiting for, stupid cunts?! My glass is empty!”

“Karina,” My mother muttered, her eyebrows pulled together as she gave her a displeased look while the poor maid scurried to fill Karina’s glass with wine, “A lady shouldn’t use such vulgar language, nonetheless in front of her elders.”

“Yeah, whatever Mrs Harold.” She scoffed as she glared at the maid, taking big gulps of her wine. I watched with distaste, catching Leia’s gaze for a split second. Her eyes were tear-filled and I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from speaking up, it would only start an argument I didn’t have the mental capacity for right now. But Karina wasn’t done as her sharp gaze fell on me, her tone harsh when she spoke again, “I know you enjoy spending time with the doctor alone, it makes you fantasize, doesn’t it? You’re just playing with him like with everyone else around you, sister, aren’t you? How long do you reckon until you get him riled up enough to get underneath your skirts—”

“Karina!” Mr Brooks's voice was loud and stern, his eyes set on his daughter with disgust in them, “How dare you say such things to your sister? In front of me and her mother, nonetheless! You should be ashamed, is this who I raised you to be?!”

Karina chuckled, humourless, “Right, father, you didn’t raise me at all, perhaps that is why I am like this. Maybe you shouldn’t have admitted mother into an asylum because she didn’t know how to silence a crying baby, hm?”

The silence that settled over the table made my skin crawl. If anyone would’ve dropped a pin, everyone could’ve heard it in the dining room. I released a shaky breath, the tremors worsening as Mr Brooks seemed to be struggling with containing his rage in front of my mother. Her mouth was open and a hand pressed against it, eyes shaking with pain and incredulity as she looked between Karina and her second husband. I took a deep breath and pushed my chair back, grabbing my plate to try and stabilise myself, to stay in the present. Eyes fell on me, and before Leia could come to approach me, I shook my head with a small smile, “I’ll let Mrs Humphrey know she outdid herself once again, then I will be retreating for bed. Matilda will accompany me, sleep well tonight, mother.”

As I left the dining room, I heard Mr Brooks weakly whisper a good night, then Karina’s sobs as she raced up the stairs, slamming the door to her room loudly. The chatter and good mood died down the second the kitchen door swung open, Leia following inside after me. Mrs Humphrey looked concerned when she noticed me holding my plate and went to stand up and take it from me, but I quickly shook my head.

“No, stay seated, Mrs Humphrey, dinner is absolutely delicious.” I said with a smile, and the other servants and maids seemed to relax as well, “Would you mind…if I finished my dinner here, with you?”

“Oh, come here, my dear.” Mrs Humphrey’s frown was deep as she beckoned me over, making space for me between herself and our butler, Jesper. He was still a young boy, his eyes filled with a youthful spark, full of life and happiness. He offered me a small smile and placed mushrooms filled with cheese on my plate, knowing I loved them. I chuckled and thanked him, then looked over the table and realised I felt most comfortable when around these people. They were simple, they were happy, and they made the most of their days. They were free, away from society’s judgemental eyes, and they lacked the prejudice the other aristocrats hadn’t even tried to hide around me. I felt like I belonged at this table, and as the happy chatter picked up again and Jesper made small talk with me, with Carla eagerly interjecting sometimes, I could feel my tense muscles relax and the void in my chest disappear. For a little while only, while I was still at this table, enjoying my dinner with the people who looked at me as if I was just a human too.

            The doctor was quickly growing on me. I couldn’t trust him, not yet, it would be too soon. It’s been only a week since he started visiting me for our sessions, but I started believing that he wasn’t playing a character when around me. He was genuine, his eyes sparkled curiously with each question he asked, his frown was always worried and it downturned his pretty pouty lips, and when he smiled, something warm seemed to flood my chest. I could only compare it to the sun, for I have never felt such warmth when gazing upon a man before. Not even when suitors were lining up in front of our house, asking for a chance at marrying me. The doctor was considerate and kind, he hung on to my every word. It was his profession, I knew he was only doing his job, but I couldn’t help but imagine he was a man interested in me, his notebooks filled with poems and sketches of me. It was a far-fetched fantasy, but it managed to warm my cheeks anytime I dwelled on it.

I was out in the back garden as I found myself thinking about the doctor again, excited to see him today as well. We had left off at a rather culminating point of my story yesterday, I wondered if he was as eager as I was to hear the rest of it. Matilda wasn’t feeling well today, and as my mother was in town, Carla was the one supervising me. I didn’t mind the change, she was a chatty girl and easily kept me from detaching from reality. Here, in the garden, as I thumbed at the leaves of the flowers, Carla was still speaking about an encounter with a fairy. A supposed fairy as she believed in God and deemed the little creatures spawns of evil.

“Tell me, young miss, do you believe it was Satan sending those fairies my way?” Carla’s voice was full of wonder, “Have I done something bad to attract his attention to me?”

“I don’t believe so, Carla.” I answered her quietly, my eyes following a bee as it flew from flower to flower, “You go to church every Sunday.”

“Perhaps I should go from now on every Wednesday and Sunday, too.” Carla huffed, hands on her hips as she tried avoiding the bee that was flying towards her. I chuckled, straightening up. The scent of the hydrangeas was familiar as I closed my eyes, inhaling it deeply into my lungs so that they would stay there for a long time.

“I don’t believe fairies are inherently evil, Carla.” I mused as the breeze brushed upon my cheeks, already flushed from the great heat. My dress was thin and simple, I couldn’t wear pompous dresses during summertime, they were too hot. I would often feel lightheaded from the strong sun, the thick dresses would only make me faint. The white fabric was soft against my skin, and the white ribbons brushed against my nape as my hair was pulled into two small buns at the base of my neck. I could’ve performed on stage looking like this, but even so much as looking at my pointe shoes would’ve hurt my soul. I didn’t let the memories resurface despite the sudden melancholia that wished to break through my emotions, “Fairies are small creatures that protect nature, maybe you had done something they didn’t approve of. Did you disrespect their land, perhaps? Or did you step on a flower they had blessed before? Fairies are territorial beings, and they are also quite vengeful. But if you ask Father Leon to bless you after service, I’m sure you’ll be just fine, Carla.”

The scoff that followed my words wasn’t coming from Carla. I didn’t open my eyes as I became aware of heavier footsteps approaching, I had completely missed the engine of his motorcar. I felt Karina stop behind me, but I turned my head towards the sun, basking in it. I couldn’t touch the celestial without burning to a crisp, but perhaps the one it had sent to me in human form was really here to save me. A clear of throat made me blink my eyes open, and I turned to look over my shoulder.

“If you have nothing else but fairies to talk about, then I don’t see why Doctor Jeong should entertain your madness any longer.” Karina’s eyes narrowed at me, “You belong in an asylum, sister.”

I smiled, a little amused, as an ugly grimace appeared on Carla’s face upon Karina’s comment. The maid made to open her mouth, which would’ve landed her in trouble, but the doctor beat her to it, “Thank you for walking me here, Miss Brooks. But I’d like to be left alone with Miss Harold, now.”

“Right,” Karina muttered, shooting me a jealous stare, “She gets to have you all to herself, as always.”

Then, she turned around and raised her skirt above her ankles to storm off. Carla nodded her head and followed after Karina, not in a hurry so that the woman wouldn’t pick a fight with Carla as well. The doctor sighed, pushing his small glasses up the bridge of his nose, looking a little bit bewildered. Then, he looked at me and the crease from his forehead disappeared. I was already smiling at him, my hands behind my back to hide the bad tremors. I had felt faint all day, but the doctor was here finally and I could finally take my first breath of fresh air of the day. I couldn’t help but smile widely at him, and watch as the flush from his ears quickly travelled down to his chest. Even more buttons of his loose white shirt were undone, the silver cross sitting against his chest now glinting under the sunlight. His trousers were high-waisted and the shirt was tucked neatly into it, a leather belt pulled around his waist. And there, in his right hand, was something white. I tilted my head in wonder as I looked at it, curious about what it was. The doctor liked bringing small gifts, mostly silly, but memorable.

“Hello, Doctor Jeong,” I spoke up, and the doctor released a loud breath.

“Hello, Miss Harold.” His voice shook slightly, then his fingers tightened around the strap of his satchel bag, “Here, I have something for you.”

Then he extended his right hand out towards me, and my eyes widened in surprise. I could tell the ballerina was made out of a napkin, I hadn’t seen anything like it before. My hands shook despite trying to ease the tremors, and my fingers hesitantly curled around the present as our skin brushed together. The doctor’s cheeks flushed rapidly, and I found myself unable to look into his warm eyes. I wondered if it was the heat that made our hands so clammy. I looked at the ballerina in my hands, melancholy overtaking me once again. I longed to dance around in the garden, Mrs Humphrey and my mother as my audience now that my father was gone, but it only brought back bad memories. I was too faint to twirl around now, my legs weren’t as strong as they once used to be. I would fall even before doing my first pirouette, it was depressing.

“How are you feeling today, Miss Harold?”

“Faint, but it’s from the heat, Doctor Jeong.”

We stood unmoving, our eyes boring into each other’s. I didn’t want to move to the tea room just yet, perhaps I longed to sit under the willow tree. The doctor made no moves, and so I said nothing about heading for the house. We were in eyesight if anyone were to look through the kitchen window, and we weren’t doing anything wrong.

“Thank you for the gift, Doctor Jeong, did you make it yourself?” I asked with round eyes, unable to keep the smile off my lips. The doctor flushed darker and averted his eyes, thumbing at his wet bottom lip.

“Yes, I thought it would cheer you up. I hope I wasn’t wrong.” His tone was tender and just a little hesitant, the doctor was almost cute like this.

“It did cheer me up, sir, I was thinking about ballet just now.” I paused, and waited for the doctor to look up into my eyes, “It seems you can already read my mind, I wonder how you do that.”

The doctor smiled, his forehead exposed as his dark strands were brushed away from his eyes, “We are making progress, then, reading your mind isn’t as easy as one might think.”

“And why is that?” I asked curiously, fiddling with the napkin in my hands.

“Because it’s very complex, you like to speak in riddles, and you evade most of my questions.” Then the doctor chuckled and I bit my bottom lip, averting my eyes in embarrassment, “You’re cunning, but I’m good at catching all the little hidden messages.”

I grinned at the doctor’s words, my suspicions confirmed. I knew I could play around with him, he seemed like a very smart man. Hearing he could read between the lines was more than satisfying. My heart skipped a beat, but it didn’t start racing like before.

“Do you like hydrangeas, Doctor?”

“Their scent is too intense for my liking, but they are pretty flowers, Miss Harold.”

“They symbolise purity and gratitude, even vanity in some cases.”

“What do they mean in your case, then?”

“Gratitude, Doctor Jeong, towards you.” Our eyes met again as I looked away from the white flowers, a sudden calmness settling upon my racing thoughts, “I hope the end of my story will be satisfying to you.”

The doctor gulped, loudly, then motioned towards the house, “Would you like to continue inside? Did you remember something of importance, perhaps?”

“Can we sit under the willow tree?” I raised an eyebrow, “Mrs Humphrey can see us from the kitchen if that’s of worry to you.”

“Sure, if you’ll feel comfortable.” The doctor nodded, fishing for his notebook and pencil as I hummed, leading us down the pebbled path, the willow tree was just by the end of it. The territory the house resided on came with a small pond, I liked watching the still water while sitting by the trunk of the willow tree. The doctor followed after me quietly, and he watched me settle down into the green grass, dress splaying out around me. It had ridden slightly up, exposing my shins as I pulled them underneath myself. The doctor seemed to be frozen, eyes glued to where my legs had been just seconds ago. Then, he gulped loudly and settled down next to me. He sat a little closer compared to the usual distance between our chairs, but his presence was soothing. I smiled as I faced him, eyes falling on his long fingers as he got comfortable, opening his notebook to where we had left off yesterday.

“I don’t remember anything new, doctor, but we haven’t reached that part of the story yet.” I smiled, then turned my head to gaze out at the pond, “Would you like to hear what happens next?”

The doctor exhaled, “You told me this noble boy barged inside your house in the middle of the night? He must’ve been madly in love with you to do such a thing.”

I chuckled, eyes focusing on the dragonflies above the pond, “I suppose he was at one point, yes. But men are easily converted, I find love like my mother and father had once shared hard to find, doctor. Our love didn’t last long, but I’m getting ahead of myself. It was a cold spring evening and he had been visiting, drinking with Mr Brooks to ask for permission to marry me. My mother was present too, of course, but she couldn’t say much against Mr Brook’s words. In the end, the proposal was accepted and the man left, only to come barging inside hours later.”

“Why did he do that?”

“Because he was drunk, and because he had something to say.”

“Did you hear him out?”

I chuckled, facing the doctor. His eyes were wide as he was watching me, pencil pressing against the white paper, “Yes, I did hear him out, but his words made no sense. He said something about a lavished lifestyle and a farmhouse, and something about being happy together even in a later age, it was endearing but very inadequate.”

“So, what did you do, then?” The doctor wasn’t even writing down what I was saying, it made me chuckle. The corner of his lips lifted subconsciously, he looked amused too.

“Nothing, I just kicked him out and told him to come back when he’s sober. His drunken words meant nothing to me. I did not want to marry a man who made foolish confessions in an inebriated state of mind, besides, he was a gentleman. He should have known better than to barge inside a lady’s home well past midnight, no, Doctor Jeong?” I quirked an eyebrow, my question seemed to snap the doctor out of his staring. He cleared his throat and looked down at his notebook, pausing for a few seconds before he jotted something down. I couldn’t read it, it was in a foreign language.

“N-no—I mean, yes, Miss Harold. That was rather inappropriate of him, I must imagine the discomfort he had created for you.” He had barely finished his sentence when a giggle bubbled past my lips.

“On the contrary, Doctor Jeong.” I grinned, ducking my head down to hide my amusement as confusion crossed the doctor’s features, “It was the most fun I’ve had in a while. Mrs Humphrey, my mother, and I had stayed up for hours giggling about it afterwards. We even made jokes about it and Mrs Humphrey let us drink her very secret brew that tastes like flowers but could knock out even a sailor with just two jugs. I have no idea what it is, but it’s very strong.”

The doctor’s eyes were filled with awe as I laughed, memories of easier times never failing to bring me in a good mood. It would’ve been easier like this, if things stayed put and if Karina wouldn’t have meddled with everything. I have faced hardships before, but having the person I considered my sister to betray me had stung like none other. In the end, neither one of us got what we wanted, just a lot of animosity and a tension-filled relationship. Sometimes I wanted to ask Karina if all of it was worth it, but I knew not to entertain an already greedy person.

“And how does this memory make you feel now?” Doctor Jeong’s tone was airy, and he wasn’t looking at me as he was scribbling in his notebook. I pondered for a second before I placed my hands on the grass, gripping it tightly between my fingers. Sometimes the tremors stopped when I grabbed something too hard.

“Bittersweet, but mostly happy. I’m grateful I was able to experience all of that at least once in my lifetime, others aren’t as lucky as I am. I am well aware of that.” The doctor nodded along as I spoke, but then he paused writing and looked at me with a frown.

“And when you think of that man? How does he make you feel, Miss Harold?” I gulped, not having expected that question. But it was easy to answer, I’ve pondered many times over this specific question, there wasn’t anything the doctor could surprise me with anymore. I smiled softly but knew the doctor could feel the shift in my mood.

“Mostly angry that I wasted years on that man when I could’ve found someone more decent, more loving.” Then I shrugged and watched as the doctor licked his lips, adjusting his spectacles on his nose, “Do you believe that God has everything planned for us, Doctor?”

“Mostly, yes, but we have enough free will to change the direction of our lives.” The doctor answered, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. I hummed, plucking the grass from the ground forcefully. My knuckles ached from how hard I had gripped onto it.

“You can’t run from what is meant for you, Doctor Jeong, we would’ve never met if I wouldn’t have gone mad.” But Doctor Jeong didn’t seem to be too convinced by my words. He chewed on his bottom lip, sweat rolling down between his pecks. I gulped, then averted my eyes from his exposed fair skin, and instead focused on his beautiful round brown eyes, “Are you glad we got to meet?”

The man’s eyes widened at my forward question, but I meant no harm nor did I have questionable reasons to ask such a thing. The doctor cleared his throat, playing with the pencil in his hands as he thought his answer over, “I’ll be glad once you are back to being yourself, until then, I cannot allow myself to feel any sort of satisfaction.”

“Don’t you think my madness is part of me, now?” I muttered, gazing off towards the house. The curtain in the kitchen moved, but I knew it wasn’t Mrs Humphrey. She was out in town with my mother at this hour. Doctor Jeong inhaled sharply, then closed his notebook loudly. The paper made a noisy sound, making me look over to him. The man looked aggravated as if my question had bothered him immensely, but I was merely curious about how he viewed me.

“Perhaps we should continue tomorrow, Miss Harold, and we must proceed with the story. The committee is pressing me with questions, they are very curious to hear the full story.” The doctor was avoiding my question, that was unusual. He stood, brushed the dirt off his trousers, then hastily grabbed his satchel bag and clumsily placed the notebook and his pencil inside.

“Thank you for indulging with me, Doctor Jeong.” I looked up at him, and had to shield my eyes from the sun, “I love sitting under the willow tree.”

“I will keep that in mind, Miss Harold, have a nice afternoon.” The doctor then bowed his head and I mirrored his actions, then he was rushing back towards the house, looking a little rigid. Karina stood in the doorway to the tea room, a tray filled with cookies and lemonade in her hands, but Doctor Jeong merely nodded at her and left the house in haste. Karina’s glare could be felt even from the distance, and I gently stood to head back inside, keeping the arrangement in mind. I wasn’t supposed to be unsupervised, I knew Carla would be in the laundry room if she had nothing else to do.

Yunho couldn’t sleep. He kept reading over and over his notes, all the small hidden messages making his head ache. His stomach growled in hunger, but he was physically unable to stand from his study and ask the housekeeper to prepare dinner for him. The girl was frail, she was soft-spoken but witty. She liked to keep him on his toes, and she was great at making him lose track of what was most important. He felt like he was making no progress, yet the committee kept pressing him for an answer. Father Louis was understanding enough not to ambush him with questions daily, but the rest of the officials weren’t. They wanted a diagnosis of Miss Harold already, they didn’t want to understand that Yunho couldn’t give his verdict in anything but a week. Building trust took time, getting to hear the unfiltered truth from someone who loved to play with her words took patience. Yunho was a patient person, but he wondered how long he had until he’d break. Whenever he closed his eyes, he felt as if she was watching him, standing over him, smiling at him. Her skin was sun-kissed and sometimes her cheeks were burnt from staying out in the sun for too long, but Yunho knew her skin would be soft. When he had twisted and turned his napkin into shapes, absentmindedly, he realised he had made a ballerina out of it. Thus, he had made his first mistake as a professional. He had allowed himself to sympathise with Miss Harold. He had allowed himself to notice her smile was brighter than the sun itself, and that she smelled an awful lot like those hydrangeas that Yunho was allergic to. And he had allowed himself to notice the tremors of her hands, making him yearn to hold her frail hands between his with the hopes of soothing her nerves. Yunho wondered if she yearned for him like she had yearned for her once lover.

            The clouds were almost black as they expanded over the horizon. The wind was too cold for us to keep the grand doors of the tea room open, so they remained closed as I sat on the soft sofa, gazing out through the glass. Matilda had left the curtains undrawn for me, and a few scented candles were lit to ease my muscles' tension. I couldn’t focus lately, these past three days my mood had quickly reclined. I know the doctor had noticed it too, but he didn’t prod more than it would be considered rude. I was reluctant to tell him the cause of my moroseness, he wasn’t here to listen to me weep about how unfairly Karina treated me. She had been ruthless these past three days. I knew she had a vendetta against me, but ever since the doctor started coming here, she had been progressively getting worse and worse. I could handle it until I couldn’t. If I ignored her and got lost in a deep spot in the back of my mind filled with happy memories, I would end up with a backhanded slap to my face. If I talked back and stood my ground, I would only fuel her fire, giving her power over me. Karina was clever, she knew when to strike. If my mother was around us, she was an angel. If the servants were watching, she’d be sharp and arrogant towards me. If Mr. Brooks was present, she didn’t bother hiding her disdain, but she wasn’t as straightforward as around the servants.

She didn’t hold back one bit if it was just the two of us. My eyes were lost on the gloomy visage, eyes tracking the swaying vines of the willow tree. It was even more beautiful in the eyes of the storm, I could’ve stared at it for hours on end. My mind was silent like this, absent of all the turbulent thoughts that shook me to my core and kept me up at night, when Matilda, poor girl, struggled to stay up and look over me. Just last night, she had fallen asleep, and I was grateful because I had a moment to myself where I could secretly slip away and walk through the gardens in hopes of clearing my mind. It wasn’t a smart decision, however, because I couldn’t remember anything after I stepped through the threshold of the house. I just know sometime later I was gasping for air as my arms were restricted and my throat was scratchy, Mr Brooks desperately trying to hold down my trashing body. My white nightgown was dirty with mud and the ends of it were dripping wet with pond water. It wasn’t foreign that I would lose consciousness if something lay heavily on my chest and gnawed at my thoughts, but it had been long since I had lost track of myself so deeply. Not since the incident, at least.

And Karina was enjoying it, her lips pulled into a nasty smirk as my mother cried by my side, asking Matilda and Leia to bring cold towels and help me clean up. Mr Brooks had looked tired as he gently helped me back to my room and tucked me into bed, his eyes pained and suffering as if I was blood-related to him. His expression made me feel guilty for worrying not just my mother, but also him. I felt terrible, yet I couldn’t control my mind or my body when these episodes happened. Even now, as I sat on the sofa waiting for the doctor to arrive, I felt lightheaded and on the brink of losing consciousness. My body felt light and heavy simultaneously, and I could feel my pulse in my neck. My lips felt chapped no matter how much tea I drank, and my throat was tight. I wanted to see the doctor, I needed to tell him why I had done what I had done. I had always been too afraid to confess the truth, not wanting to hurt my mother and break up the second family she cherished. But I also couldn’t continue living like this, not when Karina prayed for my downfall. Her harsh words from yesterday were still fresh in my mind, and I had to blink the tears away for a second.

“I know you’re just a whore, desperate to find another man to toy with.” She had spat with flushed cheeks, a cup filled halfway with wine in her hand, “Do you seriously think that doctor wants to touch you? You’re a deranged woman now, Y/N, nobody will want you. Not even Doctor Jeong Yunho, you whore. I won’t let you have him too, you always get what you want—but not this time, Y/N, mark my words.”

And just when I had thought she was done, she had marched up to me and grabbed me by the throat harshly, making me gasp, “If he doesn’t send you to an asylum, I will kill you myself, Y/N. You’re an abomination and a disgrace, even your own mother hates you, whore.”

The knock at the door startled me, I had been lost deep in thought. I turned my head and noticed Matilda giving me a small smile, “Young miss, the doctor is here to see you. Would you like me to prepare anything for you two?”

My heart skipped a beat, but I couldn’t tell why. Perhaps because I knew he’d take my mind off things, even if I was forced to relive the past I tried to bury deep down, sequences I couldn’t even remember anymore. Or, maybe, it was because I desperately wished to gaze upon his soft face, lose myself in his warm and round eyes peeking at me over his small spectacles. I couldn’t decide which was the reason, but I needed his presence to calm my turbulent mind and body finally.

“Thank you. I will welcome him inside, and you can take a break.” I stood up, hands balling into fists as nausea washed over me, “We won’t need anything, but I hope you get some sleep, Matilda. You’ve been watching over me for three days.”

“That is my duty, young miss.” Then she bowed her head before I could tell her she needed to take care of herself, and she took her leave. I smoothed down my long-sleeved dark blue dress now that the weather wasn’t as warm as days ago. I hadn’t pulled my hair into a bun today, even if it was not ladylike, I wished to feel my copper strands brushing against my cheeks when I moved my head. It shielded my face like a curtain if I didn’t want to be seen, I hoped Doctor Jeong wouldn’t mind.

Sucking in a deep breath and bracing myself, I left the tea room in search of the doctor, who should have been in the foyer, getting rid of his coat and dress shoes, but instead, he wasn’t there. I paused for a second to listen for his voice, and a smile pulled at my lips when I realised he was in the living room. Perhaps we could hold our session inside there today, I could play the piano and show him my favourite piece, if that, of course, was deemed fine by the doctor. As my fingers brushed against the wooden door, about to push it further open, I realised the doctor wasn’t alone. Karina’s sweet giggles flooded the room before she continued speaking.

“Surely, Doctor. I am pleased to hear you do not burn yourself out by coming here daily. I can only imagine how tiring it must be to listen to my sister, she’s rarely coherent. You must have noticed, given that you are a doctor, that she often has no idea where she is or who she is talking to. She tends to get lost in her own mind and blabber on about nonsense.” Karina then paused as my heart raced, my eyebrows furrowed in distaste, “She looks completely normal upon first glance, but it quickly becomes obvious she’s—well, she’s insane, you know?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Brooks, I cannot be discussing this with you.” Doctor Jeong’s voice was neutral, and cold, unlike the tone he used with me, “But as a licensed doctor, given that I am one, I can tell when her surroundings influence her mood, or why she is in a bad headspace.”

Karina scoffed, sounding a little offended, “Are you insinuating anything right now, Doctor Jeong? I don’t need a license to be able to tell that my sister is insane. How long until you realise she’s just trying to trap you here, twirl you up into her web of lies and fantasies? If you think you can help a mad person, Doctor, I fear you should seek help too. She’s beyond help, she’s desperate and pathetic, and as I have stated, she’s mad—”

“I am not mad!” Before I could stop myself, I let my anger take over me as I barged through the ajar room, “I am not insane, Karina, you’re always putting words in my mouth! Who has ruined everything I have ever had, huh?! You, you did, so don’t call me your sister. I am not your sister, and I will never be, you filthy skank!”

Karina gasped loudly, her hand flying up to her mouth. The doctor’s eyes had widened too, clearly taken aback by my outburst. I had been soft-spoken and kind in front of him, careful to not show anything he could incriminate me with in front of the committee. Karina had gotten what she wanted all this time, I suppose. Now, the doctor would make an early report that wasn’t favourable for me without even hearing the truth, or as much as I could remember of it. I gulped, feeling ashamed as tears filled my eyes, but I tried to keep myself from crying. Karina wailing like a banshee next to Doctor Jeong was more than humiliating enough to force me to keep myself in place.

“Enough,” The doctor snapped, his friendly and soft features morphing into something of anger and vexation. For a second, I thought it was directed towards me, but then he turned his head and his warm chocolate brown eyes fell on Karina, now sharp, “This is the last time I let you off the hook, Miss Brooks. If you don’t stop treating your sister so poorly, I will have to write you up on the board as the main suspect that causes Miss Harold’s turbulent manic episodes to occur, is that what you want? Do you wish to also be psychologically evaluated? I can do that, I can get one of my colleagues to come out here and question you, but you might be surprised to find yourself deemed insane too.”

Doctor Jeong’s words visibly shook Karina as she crumbled into an armchair, fingers sinking into her hair as she shook her head at the doctor, crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks pathetically. My heart was racing in my chest, the doctor was all I could see. His flushed cheeks from anger, his whitening knuckles around the strap of his satchel bag, his rapidly rising and falling chest—Jeong Yunho had stood up for me, taken my side. He was my doctor, he was supposed to look out for me, but he wasn’t obligated to protect me from claims that might be true. I didn’t feel insane, I never had, but Karina might still be right. Maybe I was a danger to society and Doctor Jeong hadn’t discovered why yet. It was only a matter of time until I exploded in his face, showing him my true colours. I had no idea what I was fully capable of, that part of my memory was still absent, but I could never forget the feeling of pure satisfaction and elation as I watched Karina lay on her back, gasping for air as blood trailed from her nose down to her mouth, chin, and then neck.

Doctor Jeong sighed loudly, his eyebrows furrowed as he licked his lips, shaking his head in almost disappointment at Karina. Then, he faced me and his features instantly softened. My heart raced again, and I hid my hands behind my back. Then, without many words, he came closer to me and nodded with his chin towards the stairs, “Would you mind if we skipped the tea room today, I’d like a more private setting.”

I gulped, feeling lightheaded once again, “No, the storm ruins the pretty visage either way.”

The doctor hummed as I turned around and took off towards the stairs, his strong footsteps loud behind me. My hands trembled as we ascended the creaky old stairs, my fingertips tracing the old railing. Doctor Jeong’s fingers were close to mine, tracing the same pattern as mine, so close yet so far away at the same time. I exhaled softly and tried to keep a clear head, but my nausea was getting worse as I led the way to my bedroom. My mother would’ve been outraged by the idea of leading a man inside my room, but this was the doctor, he was here to help. I couldn’t think of a more private room than my own bedroom, the heavy door closed and locked once we were inside. The doctor seemed to tense when he heard the lock, his back to me. I felt exposed, a little naked, now that the man was in my intimate space. There wasn’t much to my room except for a desk filled with books and poorly done sketches, and a vase filled with daisies and tulips. The doctor headed for my desk, meanwhile, I headed for my bed. The sheets were satin and silky as I lowered myself onto the edge of my bed, letting my hands sink into the fabric. With a questioning glance, the doctor turned my chair around to face me and sunk into it with a heavy sigh.

“I apologise.” My eyebrows rose in surprise as I tilted my head in question, “For letting your sister speak like that of you, I should have never let her go that far. I shouldn’t have even let her corner me like that and-and—it doesn’t matter. I understand if you need space after this, I might be able to convince the committee to give me a few more weeks.”

“She’s not my sister.” I whispered as I wrung my trembling fingers together, looking down in my lap, “Karina is not my blood sister, Doctor Jeong. I might have viewed her once as a sister, but not anymore.”

The doctor fumbled around for his notebook and pencil, which had gotten smaller from having sharpened it so often. The doctor’s eyebrows were furrowed as he pushed the spectacles up on the bridge of his perfect nose.

“Does this have to do anything with what happened on that day?” The doctor’s voice was gentle, understanding even. I bit my lower lip and nodded slowly, feeling my head swarm around uncontrollably. Would he know what to do with me if I were to pass out? He is a doctor, after all, but Matilda is the one who knows me best, perhaps I shouldn’t have locked the door.

“She-she really—hurt me that day, and I—” My throat felt dry as my lungs started heaving for air, “I don’t know—maybe I did want her to di-die—I can’t do this right now, Doctor Jeong, I’m sorry.”

Doctor Jeong’s bottom lip was between his teeth as he suddenly let his notebook rest on the desk behind him. He leaned forward, lowering his head as he tried to make eye contact with me. I gulped and kept my gaze focused on my tremor-ridden hands, “Listen to me, Miss Harold, we don’t have to talk about it today. I’m just here to chat, I can tell you are not feeling well. Your mother informed me through a letter that you had hurt yourself last night, may I know what happened? Can you tell me? I won’t even take notes, just this one time.”

I gulped, slowly raising my eyes to look up at the doctor. He wore a tight beige shirt today with a dark blue vest over it, his pants snugly fitting his long legs. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing his fair and smooth skin, veins bulging through. The wristwatch on his left hand looked fancy, the leather a very dark blue to match his vest. Doctor Jeong’s dark hair was swept back once again, but it looked fluffier today. I itched to reach out and run my fingers through his hair, wanting to feel its softness for myself. I tensed my muscles before I could do anything stupid like that. The doctor’s cheeks were slightly flushed, and his tooth was leaving a small white dent in his bottom lip. Because he was leaning forward, there was less distance between us, but still respectable. Like between doctor and patient.

“I—” I chewed on my bottom lip before taking a deep breath, “I haven’t been feeling well lately, Doctor, so I couldn’t sleep last night. I went for a walk and…I don’t remember what I did or what happened. Sometimes I lose consciousness while I’m awake, it’s frightening. I woke up with a muddied nightgown and a cut on my arm, Matilda had patched me up though.”

“How often does this happen?”

“Not that often.”

“Do you have an idea what may cause it?

“Well, yes. I think it’s Karina, she’s been antagonising me for the past three days and I’m so tired of it all. I just disassociate when I see her approaching me now, I’m sorry.”

The doctor sighed, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb. His spectacles had slipped lower once again, “Do not apologise, you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just glad you’re alright, Miss Harold.”

“The thought of you visiting daily keeps me afloat, Doctor Jeong, I have something to look forward to now.” I smiled, widely, and the doctor’s eyes widened before he blinked rapidly, looking stunned. Afraid the moment of lightness would pass by before I could grasp it, I continued, “Would you mind telling me your story today? What it’s like where you are from? How you were as a child? Is that…is that unprofessional? Are we not allowed to speak about you, Doctor?”

Doctor Jeong’s gulp was loud, then he took a deep breath and slowly leaned back in his chair, his legs spreading wide. He looked conflicted for just one second, but upon a glance at my face, he gave in. I couldn’t help but beam at the doctor as he chuckled, taking his spectacles off to place them on the desk behind himself.

“Where should I even start?” He hummed, looking towards the window, lost in thought. He was gorgeous, and he was kind. I hadn’t met a man like him before, I wished to trace my fingers along his jawline, but Karina was right. I couldn’t be a whore, not with this man, “As a child I was energetic and always blabbering on about whatever was inside my mind. I liked to ask a lot of questions, but I was reprimanded often for being too curious. Life is…different in South Korea at this time, very much different compared to how things run here. I am lucky I managed to sail so far away, my family has made great sacrifices for me to end up here. I’m not even able to send them often letters, it’s too risky.”

“Why?”

“Because they are in hiding, our belief in God is frowned upon, Catholics aren’t safe there now.” To prove a point, Doctor Jeong grabbed the silver cross underneath his shirt and brought it forward, clutching it tightly in his hands, “I can bravely say it here despite the other religions that exist, nobody has tried to murder me for it, so far. Besides, I cannot tell whether they still live where we did before I managed to sneak onto a French ship and escape. The elite class isn’t like the one here, it’s falling apart and I cannot be sure that my family are still part of it today.”

My eyebrows furrowed as an ashen look crossed the doctor’s face, “Do you miss your home?”

“Yes and no,” The doctor answered truthfully, “I was young when I sailed here, I had nothing and no one until my foster father found me. He was a Dutchman, very kind but unforgiving. I got lucky because he was a doctor and I came here to study advanced medicine with the hopes of once returning home and spreading the word, but I cannot go back, not yet. They’d shun me away, shame me and possibly kill me. South Korea isn’t welcoming of strangers yet, and in their eyes, I’d be one too for leaving our homeland only to return with new doctrines. Even if it means saving hundreds of lives. Not that I work with the physical body, but everyone needs someone who can soothe their soul once in a while.”

“You’re beyond courageous, Doctor Jeong, I admire you.” I sounded breathless as I closely listened to the doctor, making sure no word he uttered slipped by my ears. I wanted to know more about him, who he was and why he chose to be here. I couldn’t imagine being on my own, out on the streets, away from my mother, “I promise not to waste your time here, I’m almost at the end of my story.”

“I know, Miss Harold,” Doctor Jeong smiled softly, “Rather an acquittance than your doctor, I’d like to tell you that I look forward to our sessions. You are easy to connect with, and you don’t make it hard for me to glimpse inside your mind. I cannot say I understand each choice you’ve made, but that’s the beauty of having free will and individual thoughts, it sets us apart and makes us unique.”

I couldn’t help but blush as I averted my gaze from his intense one, feeling shy all of a sudden. The doctor wasn’t calling me specifically unique, but the implication was there, and I couldn’t help myself but imagine, “What about your home? What was that like, Doctor Jeong? And your family?”

For a second, he was silent. It made me think I had offended him in some way, but then his eyebrows slightly furrowed and he looked serious, “Since I am not talking to you as your doctor, you should just call me Yunho, if I may…Y/N?”

Hearing my name fall from his lips had my heart racing and my breath shuddering. I gulped, feeling speechless for a second as my eyes bore into Doctor Jeong’s, wondering if the man knew what it meant to drop such drastic formalities. But I obliged because I wanted his name to roll off my own lips like mine had done on his, desperate to fortify this frail bond between the two of us, doctor and patient, “Right, of course…Yunho.”

Doctor Jeong’s eyes fluttered shut for a second, his gulp was loud. I watched redness coat his ears down to his neck, his fingers digging into the wooden armrests. He was still wearing the silver band around his middle finger, I wondered whose it was. Was it from someone back home? Or was it from his foster father?

“Right, Y/N, well my home certainly was smaller than your house, and also built with different architecture in mind. And people don’t wear these fancy suits at home, we have our own traditional clothes that we proudly wear. I still have the one I arrived in tucked away as a means to never forget where I come from.” Doctor Jeong—Yunho—smiled softly, eyes glazed over with memories as he spoke quietly, almost as if to himself, “I have a younger brother, he’s the loveliest. I didn’t want to leave him home, not even my father and mother, but we would’ve been discovered if we were to run away together. My mother sent me off sobbing, clutching me to her chest and wondering if we’d see each other ever again. My father was a stoic man, but he had cried too. He had enough faith in me and God to know I’d make it out alive and become what they sent me away for. I left a dear friend behind too, but he promised to follow me one day. I do not know if we’ll see each other, perhaps he’s wandering around on a completely different continent, but at least I have something of his with me.”

My eyes flickered towards the silver band Yunho was absentmindedly playing with, his lips set in a tight line. So, the ring was from someone he dearly loved and cherished, I wished I could reach out and pat his hand to offer him comfort. But Yunho’s solemn look switched into one of contentment as he looked at me again, “Our house was in a lovely neighbourhood, filled with silence and the chirping of birds each early morning. Our servants were few, so they lived with us, and they had quickly become part of the family too. I would play in the dirt with my brother when our mother was busy in the kitchen, overlooking the cooks while also helping out. Our father worked long hours but he always returned with fresh flowers for my mother and some sort of western delicacy nobody was allowed to know about. I would often take walks on the beach, if there’s anything I miss terribly, it’s the wide sea and the calmness it brought with itself.”

“I love sailing,” I muttered, tucking my hands underneath my thighs as I hummed, “Despite what’s happened to my father, I find solace in the sea. It silences my fears, much like taking walks in the garden does. I feel like I belong to nature, that I can easily become one with it.”

“Nature is a beautiful place,” Yunho hummed, swiping his thumb against his bottom lip, watching me closely, “You’d love exploring the world.”

I chuckled sadly, “I would, Yunho, but I’m forced to rot away in this house under the very eyes of my servants and family. I can’t even be left alone here, sometimes I want it all to stop. Tell me, have you travelled a lot?”

Yunho looked abashed as he shrugged one shoulder, “Enough to see all sorts of places, people, and cases. Not each one had a happy ending, but I had learned something from each of them, so it was worth it in the end.”

“I wish to see the world, Yunho. I don’t want to be caged in here anymore. Could you set me free—no, will you set me free, Yunho?”

“I—I’ll try, I really will, Y/N. If you tell me the truth, I can help you and write a promising report on your case. But you have to be transparent with me for that to happen.”

“What if they don’t agree with you? See me as unstable and a danger to society, what then? Will I require a caretaker still?”

“I’m afraid, yes. Perhaps you’ll have even more severe surveillance, I’m sorry. I truly promise to do my best, but you have to trust me.”

“And what if…what if you became my caretaker?”

The silence that followed my question felt heavy, it felt wrong. I shouldn’t have asked that, but I was desperate to know how far Doctor Jeong would go to prove I wasn’t insane. And perhaps, a hidden sadistic part of me wanted to know just what exactly the doctor would do for me, to me.

“That would imply you are very unstable, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a thing.” Doctor Jeong breathed out, reaching for his spectacles.

“But would you become my caretaker?” I whispered, gazing up into his eyes with yearning as the doctor abruptly stood, “I wish to see the world, the places you go to. I wish to see South Korea once you’re allowed to go back, Yunho. Would you take me with you?”

He was packing his things frantically, breathing through his mouth loudly, “I cannot tell, Miss Harold, it implies great responsibility to look over someone unstable. Given if you were the object of my desires, I wouldn’t even consider becoming your caretaker, but I’m your doctor and it’s inappropriate.”

“Isn’t it only inappropriate if you make it that?” I stood, facing the doctor before he could run off. He looked conflicted and angry, so I backed off, “My apologies, I have taken you for granted and stepped over our boundaries as doctor and patient. I hope I haven’t made you too uncomfortable, Doctor Jeong, that’s not what I wished to do. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I will be back tomorrow, and you must tell me what happened, Miss Harold.” With a nod of his head, the doctor was at my door, quickly unlocking it, but he didn’t twist the knob right away. He took a deep breath and released it with a whisper, “And I would become your caretaker, if I could.”

His footsteps echoed through the house just as lightning struck in the distance. I walked to the window and watched the doctor get onto the motorcar as his butler drove away, trying to avoid the storm. And then, just like that, the world started spinning as blackness threatened to coat my vision.

            My knuckles were bloody from having picked at the skin consistently since I was awake. The tremors from my hand have extended to my whole body, my head felt underwater. I couldn’t understand what was happening around me, but I jumped each time thunder rumbled the earth. I know I had been placed on a chair in front of the window in my bedroom, Matilda sitting in the corner with my mother regularly checking on me, but I couldn’t tell what was being said to me or done around me. I didn’t have an appetite this morning, and getting out of bed was harder than ever before. I knew something was wrong, that something had disturbed my peace of mind, but I had no idea what this sudden change in my mood meant. I tried to break through the veil of haziness and speak to Matilda, tell her that my head was throbbing and my joints ached from how wrung up my body was, but my lips formed no words. I tried using the breathing technique Mrs Humphrey had once taught me, but nothing was working. I wasn’t able to control my body, and it was only making me more anxious.

The door to my room opened, but I continued to look out the window absentmindedly, bracing myself for the loud rumble when lightning struck again. After the doctor left yesterday, it hadn’t stopped raining ever since. I knew he couldn’t make it today, but he was determined enough to push through the storm and visit me. Unless it was a serious issue that needed to be urgently taken care of, the doctor never cancelled our session. The thought of seeing him when I felt so unwell managed to calm my racing heart, but until he was actually standing in front of me and I could gaze into his deep eyes, I couldn’t help but take shallow breaths as my muscles tensed up even more.

“Look at you,” It was Karina’s voice unmistakably, “trembling and sweating like a dying child, aren’t you? Who are you acting for, hm? The doctor isn’t here, Y/N, no need to act all pitiful like this, nobody in this house cares about you.”

Her voice was crystal clear for some reason, it made my ears ring as I released a shuddering breath. My mind was so askew that I couldn’t even answer her, I just needed a warm embrace and a deep voice to whisper that everything was fine. Did nobody care about me? That was so depressing, it brought tears to my eyes.

“Besides, he’s not coming today.” I failed to inhale as Karina continued to speak, “He sent a letter to your mother that he couldn’t find a carriage in time, so he isn’t coming. How tragic, all this acting only for him to not witness it…”

The sound that left my mouth was quiet, but unmistakably a whimper. Matilda shifted in her armchair and cleared her throat. I could see Karina through the reflection of the window, she was smirking maliciously as she stared at the back of my head. She looked so pleased with herself, that it made tears stream down my cheeks. I wanted to say something, but the lump in my throat was getting tighter and tighter, I realised I had stopped breathing. Why wouldn’t Yunho come? Was he like Karina too, did he not care about me? Did he lie to me yesterday? Was I worth so little that he couldn’t take on being my caretaker? Why must this be my fate? Why must I be forced never to leave this estate, this house, trapped under the eyes of people who either hate me or pity me? I wanted to sob, but the more I tried to breathe, the quicker I realised dark spots had started appearing in my vision.

“I don’t know what you two do during your little sessions, but the committee has given him one more week before he has to make his final report,” Karina chuckled, I heard her coming closer, fingers gripping the back of my chair, “And then, he’ll be all mine. I already talked to my father and he considers Doctor Jeong a nice suitor, how exciting. You can’t have him, Y/N, and he won’t have you either. I see the way you look at him, you are pathetic.”

Karina’s warm breath fanned my ear and cheek as she whispered her last words, cackling like an evil witch in all those fairytales my mother had told me about. My mouth parted to inhale deeply, but the spots grew darker, becoming more.

“Miss Brooks, please,” I heard Matilda plead as she sprung up from her seat, “Leave young miss alone, she isn’t feeling well.”

“Oh, shut up, you silly goose!” Karina snapped at Matilda, throwing her a disgusted look, “You and everyone else who feeds into her delusions should be admitted to an asylum, get a grip! She’s fine, she just needs her daily dose of attention, stupid girl.”

Hearing the word asylum cracked something further inside me as I sprung up from my seat, eyes wide and body cold. I looked at where Matilda was standing, but all I could see was the face of the man who found great pleasure in cutting me open just to leave me bleeding and helpless. A scream tried to tear through my throat, but I lost my balance as I tumbled to the floor, fingers digging into the floorboards painfully. Someone shrieked as my stomach heaved, but there was nothing to empty. I could hear the man’s words, his tone unbearable and scratchy as he told me I was worthless and a whore, hungry for male attention ever since my father had died. It made my skin crawl, it made me feel dirty and disgusting as I tried to scrape at my arms.

“Mrs Harold!” I could hear the panicked screams, but I couldn’t tell where I was anymore. I felt caged and in danger, like someone was leering over my shoulder, waiting for me to pass out so I could be targeted. I whimpered when I felt hands on my back and tried to slap them away, but I was forcefully hauled up to my feet. A wail finally tore through my lips, and I started trashing around when I felt myself being lifted off the floor and carried somewhere.

“No! No, stop!” I screamed, my voice nothing but a screech as my nails sunk into whoever was carrying me, “Don’t take me back there! I haven’t done anything, please! No—no! I didn’t mean to—I don’t know—wait, no, please, I’m sorry, stop!”

My body sunk into something very soft and warm as fingertips pressed into my skin, forcefully prying my eyes wide open. My lungs heaved for air as I tried to get away from whoever was touching me, but I couldn’t, they were stronger. They were always stronger, I could never get away. They would never leave me alone, I was always their little experiment. They would cut me open as if I was a rat, they would ask me questions and whip me even if I told the truth, they liked to touch me and make me beg for them to stop…I wanted to die. I couldn’t do this anymore. Why would they torture me like this? Did my mother not love me? Had my father’s ghost abandoned me?

“Please.” I managed to whisper when my body finally froze up, all fight leaving it. My muscles and joints ached, my heart thumped wildly, and I couldn’t hear my thoughts anymore.

“My baby, please, stop.” A female voice pleaded above me, “Nobody is hurting you, tell me what’s wrong, baby. I’m here, your mother is here, please.”

How could my mother be here? The asylum didn’t let anyone visit us. My eyes burned when I opened them, but I couldn’t see well, they were filled with tears. There, looming above me stood the one man I yearned for. His eyes were kind and brown like the most expensive Swiss chocolate, his skin fair with a rosy flush to his cheeks that made him endearing, small spectacles slipping down the perfect slope of his petite nose. The doctor was here.

“Yunho, save me.” My voice was barely audible as I croaked out my words, but I noticed my mother’s eyes widening before I drifted off to the darkness that had come to claim my body. Here, nobody could hurt me.

But even in my dreams, the miscreants wouldn’t leave me alone. I couldn’t tell where I was due to the darkness that enveloped me, but I felt frozen down to the bone. My summer dress did nothing to keep me warm, and the little friction to my arms only caused me to shiver more. I tried to call out to see if anyone was there with me, but my vocal cords wouldn’t even croak. My heart was racing and my eyes burned, I could tell I was in danger but I couldn’t see because of what. The impending doom I felt, however, said to me that I needed to run and that I needed to run now. So, I didn’t wait around as I grabbed the skirt of my dress and aimlessly took off, unable to see anything due to the permeating darkness. My feet hurt from all the little rocks that cut into it, and then something touched my cheek that made me cry out. It was warm, almost scorching hot against my frozen skin. There were whispers around me that I couldn’t make out, or understand even if I concentrated on them, but then one of them started making sense. It made more sense than the others, its timber familiar and warm, kind. Then, I could feel fingers tracing my left cheek, a calming hum easing my tense muscles until I could finally take a deep breath. It burned my lungs, it felt as if I was inhaling for the first time.

“Open your eyes, Miss Harold.” Then, just so that I only could hear it, the familiar voice whispered, “I’m here.”

A gasp tore through my lips as my eyes flew open, jolting me awake as I sat, frantically looking around. It was a lot darker in the room than the last time I was conscious, and the rain was hitting the roof of the house harder than before. Matilda, my mother, Mr Brooks, and Mrs Humphrey all stood at the foot of my bed, different emotions reigning on their faces. As I made eye contact with my mother, she let out a loud sob as she fell into Mr Brooks’ arms, and I felt my lower lip trembling. I hated seeing her in a state like that, worrying over me. Before I could cry too, my head was gently turned to the side until all I could see was the doctor. My mouth opened in shock as the doctor looked at me with sad, but worried, eyes, a wet rag clutched tightly in his other hand.

“Yunho.” My throat felt scratchy as I reached out incredulously, wondering whether I was just hallucinating. I noticed my bloody knuckles were bandaged now, ointment placed on the nightstand table next to my bed, “You are here? Really here?”

“Yes, Miss Harold.” He smiled gently, hesitantly letting me touch his jaw, “How are you feeling?”

“Sick,” I said before I could mule over my answer. My stomach was aching and my head was thumping, “I don’t know what happened to me, Doctor, I cannot remember.”

“Don’t try to remember now, your body and mind are overwhelmed,” Doctor Jeong then gently guided me to lay down in my bed once again, “You need to relax, Miss Harold. You fainted, and Miss Matilda has told me you haven’t eaten all day long, that’s unhealthy.”

“I’m sorry.” I felt like a child being chastised by their parent for the first time, except that Doctor Jeong’s face didn’t look even a little bit angry like my mother’s had back then, “I thought I would throw up if I ate anything, still do.”

The doctor hummed, then slightly turned to look back at the others in the room, “Mrs Humphrey, can you bring me that tea I asked you to brew? It will greatly help Miss Harold right now.”

“It’s storming outside, why did you come?” My eyebrows furrowed as I watched the doctor’s serene face, his spectacles were missing and his hair was a wavy mess on top of his head. Looking further down, I realised he wasn’t wearing his fancy suit. Instead, the doctor wore a beige tunic with the strings undone, showing a silver of his collarbones and chest. His silver cross dangled between his pecks whenever he moved forward to check for my temperature, letting the cold rag ease the thumping of my head. The doctor’s boots were still on his feet and looked muddy, but nobody was paying attention to that as he sat on the edge of my bed, taking care of me.

“I’m a doctor, my duty is to ensure my patients are healthy and safe.” Then he glanced back at my mother and Mr Brooks, Matilda had left the room with Mrs Humphrey, “You scared everyone, you scared me, Miss Harold.”

“Thank you for coming, but what you did was unsafe, Doctor Jeong.” I gulped, eyebrows furrowing in worry, “How will you get back home?”

“He will sleep here tonight, sweetheart.” Mr Brooks answered for the doctor, looking just as worried as I felt, “Can’t let him go out in this bad weather, it’s risky. I will ask the maids to make dinner for you, Doctor Jeong. The guestroom is already being prepared, your butler can sleep with the rest of the servants, if that is alright.”

“Yes, thank you for your hospitality.” Doctor Jeong bowed his head, smiling at Mr Brooks, “I’m sorry to say this, but Miss Harold should rest now and the more of us are in the room, the bigger the risk of overwhelming her is.”

“Oh, of course.” My mother whispered, her eyes glossy again, “Rest, my dear.”

I hummed as I watched her and Mr Brooks leave, leaving me alone with Doctor Jeong as the door closed after the two exited the room. I sighed long, looking at the doctor as he removed the rag from my forehead to wring it in more cold water. We said nothing as he placed the rag back onto my forehead, gently removing wet hair strands from my cheeks. He sat close to my body, but his eyes avoided looking into mine. I gulped, trying to find the right words to say just as there was a knock at the door. Doctor Jeong told them to come in and Matilda came inside with a tray and a cup of tea. She offered me a sad smile as she placed the cup of tea on the nightstand.

“Get some rest tonight, Matilda.”

“But you are not feeling well, young miss.”

“This is an order, how long until you faint from exhaustion? Please, I won’t leave my bed tonight, you shouldn’t either.” The maid looked hesitant, but didn’t say anything other than a quiet ‘thank you’, and then she was out of my room, closing the door after herself.

“Someone should check on you tonight, though.” Doctor Jeong said quietly as he helped me sit up, puffing up the pillows behind my back. He grabbed the cup of tea and handed it to me. It was still hot, its scent herbal. My nose twitched as I took a whiff of it before tasting it, cringing away from it, “It tastes horrible, I know, but it’s very good for your health. Drink it.”

It tasted so bitter I thought I would throw up on the spot, but it was supposed to make me feel better, so I toughened up and drank it as quickly as possible. The doctor watched me as I placed the cup on the nightstand, looking a little amused. I wrung my fingers together and placed them in my lap, looking down at my hands. I felt guilty for having forced the doctor to come all this way in such bad weather, yet he was looking at me with kind eyes and a soft smile.

“How do you feel now?” He asked, turning his body more to face me.

“Slightly better, my head isn’t thumping as violently as before, thank you.” I answered, sinking back into the pillows and cushions, “I think—this could be a grave accusation, but what if Karina is the reason I am like this?”

I couldn’t meet the doctor’s eyes as I chewed on my bottom lip, my thoughts whirling around too quickly for me to comprehend them. The doctor froze for a second, then I saw a hand reach out, only to settle on the blanket next to my thigh. I could feel Doctor Jeong’s body heat through the blanket, I wished he had placed his hand over my thigh instead.

“Why do you think that, Miss Harold?”

“May I call you Yunho?”

“Of course, Y/N.”

For a second, I paused and looked up with a smile. Yunho was already looking at me with a small smile on his lips, and I huffed a little embarrassed. Seeing him dressed so casually was doing something weird to me, my heart raced from excitement as I felt shy all of a sudden.

“Just like on that day, she was saying bad things to me again, antagonising me. I know she hates me, but I get so angry around her that sometimes I can’t even form words.” I gulped, eyebrows slightly furrowing as Yunho’s fingers twitched next to my thigh, “I wasn’t feeling well all day, but then she started speaking and I just—she brought the asylum up and I was back there again, being terrorised and touched—I can’t talk about it, I’m sorry, Yunho.”

“Let’s not talk about it, then.” Yunho’s jaw was clenched as he licked his lips, his forehead creasing as he leaned slightly forward.

“I don’t remember anything after that, even her words are muddy.” I felt helpless as my eyes bore into Yunho’s understanding ones, “Matilda was there the whole time, you can ask her what happened, I’m sure she’ll tell you everything. She hates Karina as much as I do, she wouldn’t lie for her.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Y/N.” Yunho nodded once, then tilted his head to the side. I gulped, feeling nervous for no reason, “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight? Are you feeling tired?”

I hummed, playing around with my fingers as I looked down at my lap again. Yunho’s fingers were tapping the blanket, his breaths audible but even, “I feel spent, and I know I will be able to sleep, but I’m…scared to fall asleep alone.”

“I understand, I’ll let Mrs Harold know. Perhaps she could keep you company.”

“Yunho?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

My voice was quiet as I glanced up at Yunho through my eyelashes, feeling my cheeks heat up. He looked taken aback, then something I couldn’t recognise crossed his features for a split second. He exhaled through his mouth and gulped, loudly. He hummed, deep in his chest, and flattened his palm against the blanket as he shuffled his feet around until his muddy boots hit the ground. I realigned my pillows and crawled a little further away on my bed, to make more space for Yunho as he made himself comfortable, still on the edge of it.

“But I cannot stay once you are sleeping, I’m sorry.”

“I know, it’s alright, Yunho.”

Our smiles were small but appreciative. Yunho nodded and chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes raking over my face as I watched his cheeks flush a deep shade of red. It wasn’t warm in my room, but I suppose the sheets could make him feel warm too. His hand balled into a fist, grabbing a tight hold of the blanket as I glanced down at it.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

“You too, Yunho.”

Every waking moment he spent thinking of her. Even in his dreams, she appears as a vixen, tempting Yunho to do unforgivable things. He knows he cannot, he’s her doctor and she’s a patient in desperate need of treatment. Yunho knows this, she isn’t his first case. He’s met people with manic episodes before, potential dissociative amnesia too, but something sets her apart from the rest. Yunho has never once in his life wanted to reach out and cradle one of his patients to his chest and tell them everything would be alright now that he was there. But when he saw her, so frail and generous, soft-spoken and kind, he couldn’t help but feel anger whenever she told him of Karina. Yunho had a feeling she wasn’t like that unprovoked, and the more he heard of Karina and her schemes against his patient, the more convinced he was that Karina had lied in the first place to get her into that asylum, far away from the safety of her home. Yunho knew what went down inside an asylum, he’s treated many mentally unstable patients before, straight inside those horror houses, and his blood boiled anytime he saw pain and terror strike upon her face whenever the asylum was mentioned. Yunho didn’t want to know, truth be told, what had happened to her there because he was sure he’d march up to that asylum and strangle every man who had hurt her. He was a doctor, his ego and fame protected him from making a mistake, but when she had led him inside her bedroom, Yunho was close to throwing it all out the window, quite literally. Her unique scent of hydrangeas had been so potent inside her bedroom, and her sitting daintily on the cushions of her queen-sized bed had his thoughts going haywire. Yunho wanted to touch her, not just tell her that she was safe and sound with him, but show her too. He was wanting and wanting, and he wondered if her story would have a happy ending. Could he save her from the madness they plastered over her head? Or would he dig her a bigger hole once the committee hears his verdict of her mental state? But what Yunho most importantly needed to sort out with himself, was the question that’s been mulling over in his head ever since she had uttered it. Would he be willing to become her caretaker? Just to keep her safe and away from Karina, of course, Yunho was a professional, above all. He told himself he didn’t have second intentions with her, but the more days passed by spent in her company, he couldn’t tell for sure anymore.

            Karina was right about one thing, the committee had given Doctor Jeong one more week to sort out everything. He was right, I couldn’t beat around the bush anymore, besides, we had gotten close in my story to that faithful day. Doctor Jeong knew this, I knew it too. Because he was afraid of overwhelming me again too soon, he had given me two days of bed rest before he’d return to resume our sessions. The two days had gone by and I was nervously waiting for him in the foyer. After the storm passed, the heat returned even stronger. I didn’t wish to stay in the house, it aggravated me anytime I glanced towards the stairs, Karina’s injured body lying by the foot of it too clear in my mind. The doctor’s patent motorcar was louder today than other days as it rolled to the front of the house, where he was welcomed by Mr Allen, the gardener. He was an elderly man who had grown fond of Doctor Jeong like many others in the household. Myself included, which would explain why my heart was beating uncontrollably once again, sweat brimming my eyebrows.

“Will you be alright?” Leia asked as she shuffled past behind me, fresh bedsheets in her arms, “I don’t think Matilda will survive one of your episodes.”

Leia had no mal-intentions, she was just honest down to a pulp. I chuckled, glancing at her as she had stopped in the doorway to the laundry room.

“I might not survive another episode, too.” Leia’s eyes widened guiltily, but I continued to smile, “If the doctor writes a good report about me, I’ll finally be out of your hair, Leia. Pray for it.”

“I don’t believe in God, young miss.”

“Don’t let Doctor Jeong know that.”

Speaking of the devil, his knuckles rasped against the sturdy front door as Leia grinned, disappearing inside the laundry room. I opened the door before the doctor could knock again, welcoming him with a bright smile on my face. He paused, looking taken aback.

“Good morning, Doctor Jeong.” I greeted him, stepping aside to let him walk inside.

“Good morning, Miss Harold, you seem to be doing fine.” He returned a small smile as he shrugged his blazer off, wearing another tunic but fancier this time. It was a deep green, paired with his brown trousers which made him look like he was a huntsman returning from a long hunt to his wife, jittery to have her in his arms. I gulped, feeling embarrassed by my thoughts when I realised, I had imagined myself as the wife Doctor Jeong would return home to. It was inappropriate, but the thought was intrusive and fast before I could stop it.

“Thank you for letting me rest, it has helped.” I hummed, raising a hand when the doctor went to step out of his polished shoes, “Do you mind if we sit underneath the willow tree today?”

“Not at all,” The doctor beamed, taking me off guard, “I was just about to suggest it, you know we cannot postpone today’s topic. Being in a place you love might bring comfort, I hope, at least.”

“You are thoughtful,” I smiled, then led the way towards the tea room, the grand doors were pulled open, letting inside the fresh warm breeze. Mr Allen was in the doorway, trimming the bushes, but he made way for us when he spotted us. I offered him an appreciative smile as he raised his hand in a silent greeting, a straw of wheat between his teeth as he tipped his hat towards Doctor Jeong. The doctor bowed back to him politely before we made our way down the gravel path, headed towards the willow tree. The warmth today made me feel hot despite the thin summer dress I wore, its sleeves short with a sweetheart neckline. It was a sage green, a pretty contrast against my copper curls. Without needing to ask, Matilda has made a daisy crown to wrap around my bun. I felt pretty and safe covered in my favourite things, sitting underneath the willow tree as frogs ribbited down by the pond, bees buzzing by. The doctor got ready as he opened his satchel bag, taking his notebook and new pencil out. As we sat, I noticed our thighs brushing together, the doctor’s now musky cologne invading my senses. When he placed his notebook on his left thigh, twisting his upper body to face mine, the pages of it brushed against my own thigh too.

“In our last session, you spoke about visiting your father’s grave with your mother. You made him a daisy crown since he loved the flowers just as much as you do, and then, when you returned home, your once lover was waiting for you in the foyer.” Doctor Jeong’s tone was gentle but impersonal, he was a professional after all, “You stopped after you said you were fighting and it got…violent? You must elaborate on that, did nobody hear it? Did nobody help?”

I sighed, picking at the grass, “It didn’t get violent in the sense of a physical altercation, but our words were harsh and unforgiving. He called me many names that day, he broke my heart, Doctor Jeong. I know you are curious about what was said, and because it leads up to what happened between Karina and me, I shall tell you.”

The doctor was jotting down my words in his notebook, his hand flying over the page. His bottom lip was between his teeth as he pushed at his spectacles with his other hand. He hummed and briefly glanced at me when I remained quiet for too long. I had to brace myself, so, I took a deep breath and gazed at the doctor instead of at the house, finding my nerves calmer if I gazed at his beautiful face, and his chocolate brown eyes whenever he held eye contact.

“Matthew, the man I had once loved, was my fiancé. He had asked for my hand while my father was still alive, our love story goes way back. We’ve grown up together due to our father’s being friends, and chancefully had fallen in love too. He was always sweet and loving, he respected me, and always heard me out. I suppose that is what attracted me to him most, I could see a glimpse of how my father treated my mother in him. But we had our ups and downs too, he was way too jealous and hated it when I spoke to other men, meanwhile, I had no problem if he had female friends. After my father died…it was hard for me to come to terms with it, I was sad every day for a very long time. I didn’t want to see anyone but my mother, not even Matthew. He knew I needed time, but he was getting impatient, he was bringing up marriage more often than not, but I wasn’t ready yet. I had just lost my father and the thought of not walking down the aisle with him by my side just hurt too much.” I paused and licked my lips, pulling my knees up to my chest as I felt the doctor shift and lean even closer, “And then as my mother and I healed together, she found Mr Brooks. It took them a while to settle down, paperwork and whatnot got in the way as well as people talking nasty behind their backs, but when I found out Mr Brooks had a daughter too, I felt hopeful. I thought I would finally find a true friend, someone to share everything with. Karina was lovely at first, very kind and funny, I could easily consider her my sister even if we weren’t related by blood. But then, one evening we went out to a pub where she finally met Matthew, and things just…changed.”

Doctor Jeong hummed, still writing as I let my eyes take in his focused expression. His forehead was creased slightly as he chewed on his bottom lip, his neck flushed from the heat. I had also shifted more into his space subconsciously, and I had to refrain from tracing his brows before sinking my fingers into his smooth-looking hair, “You see, it wasn’t Matthew who had changed, but Karina’s attitude towards me. She became snappy and rude, she didn’t make it obvious, but I knew she was looking down on me. She barely talked to me now when my mother and her father weren’t around, but she somehow always found time to ask about Matthew. At first, I thought nothing much of it, I figured she might’ve not liked him too much and was looking out for me in an obscure way, but then I found their letters. Mr Allen was bringing in the post and I told him I would sort them out, so when I saw Matthew’s letter, of course I had assumed it was for me…except, it hadn’t been. It was addressed to Karina, and there were all sort of weird questions about me as if whatever Karina had said before had upset him.”

“Has Karina been sending him letters behind your back?” Doctor Jeong looked confused as he looked up at me, his round eyes narrowed and void of kindness. When the doctor was this serious, he looked almost frightening. But I knew he was kind and caring underneath that mask, so I didn’t care. I hummed and nodded, absentmindedly picking at the scabs that had formed over my bruised knuckles.

“Yes, and she was lying to him, saying very ugly things about me. Still to this day, I don’t understand why she did all of that. Leia says she’s blinded by jealousy and wants to be better than me, but unless Karina says it, I don’t want to believe it. Anyways, I didn’t confront Karina right away, I hurried over to Matthew’s house to talk to him.” I huffed sadly, looking at the doctor again, “He was just about to mount his horse and leave for the city, but when he saw me, he knew we had to talk. It turns out, Karina has been lying about me for months now, saying I was seeing other men behind his back and somehow even made up some evidence of it. She had sent him handkerchiefs that had been my father’s, claiming they were of those I was—sleeping with. She even told him I was badmouthing him and that I was only marrying him out of pity, and because my father had made me promise I would marry someone richer than my family. But—it was all lies! I loved Matthew, I always have! I wanted to marry him and have a nice household, but Karina took it all away from me. What he said to me…it had hurt a lot, and it still does, so I won’t repeat his words, but he broke off our engagement and told me to never appear in front of his eyes. I had loved him, Yunho…”

My throat clenched as I took a shuddering breath, eyes filled with tears. Yunho had stopped writing and looked at me with pain in his eyes, bottom lip between his teeth, “I’m sorry, you deserved better.”

I hummed with a sad chuckle and quickly wiped my eyes before the tears could fall. This was it, this is what Yunho had been desperately wanting to hear for a month now. I lowered my legs and looked at Yunho with a neutral expression, making his eyes widen minutely, “I know, but it’s okay. If God is watching like everyone claims him to be, Karina will be punished, and so will Matthew. I was a mess after that conversation with Matthew, and I cried all the way back home. My chest was clenching and my heart was thumping wildly, I thought that was what heartbreak felt like, and I still believe so. When I stumbled through our front door, Karina was just…there. Waiting for me in the foyer with an amused smirk. She didn’t even feign innocence as she asked what happened, she could clearly see Matthew’s crumbled letter in my hand. I won’t deny it, I said some very ugly things to her. I didn’t even let her speak as I exploded on her, I’m still surprised the house staff didn’t try to stop me. I have said this in my report too, but I struck first, I slapped her and pushed her back when she started laughing. She was only doing it to make me even angrier, and it was working.”

My muscles tensed as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, keeping it in my lungs as Yunho’s jaw was clenched, his eyes focused on my face as I continued talking, “I needed space, so I backed away before I could do anything really hurtful. My head was thumping and my body was shaking, I felt like I was suffocating. Karina just continued laughing as I hurried to the stairs, wanting to lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep. She was following after me, now cackling instead of laughing, and then she said something—something that I’ll never forget, ‘All that courting and playing around each other just to never even fuck him? Don’t worry, you’re not missing out on anything, sister, he’s not even good in bed.’ I saw red when I heard her say that, my thoughts were a mess and I didn’t even doubt the accuracy of her words. I just reacted, I know I slapped her again as I stopped on the stairs, but I couldn’t say anything as I was close to sobbing, so I just ran up the rest of the stairs, but she was still following after me. She was saying something, and I was screaming at her to shut up, but she wouldn’t. And I—I just really wanted her to shut up, to not look at me with those eyes and I just—I don’t know, Doctor, I don’t know. My whole body was shaking and I couldn’t see clearly, my head was aching and I couldn’t even hear anymore, I just—I just remember suddenly coming to myself again when there was a shrill screech. And then I remember Matilda looking at me with terror in her eyes as she called for Jesper and Mr Allen to come help, to call for a doctor.”

“In your report, you said—”

“I know what I said, Yunho, I said I turned around and gave her a backhanded slap, yanked on her hair and bashed her head against the wall before pushing her down the stairs.” Yunho’s eyes were shaking as our faces were close, “But I don’t remember doing any of those, the lawyer told me to say that to protect myself from a serious accusation. Matilda lied for me, and so did Mr Allen. In the end, Mr Brooks paid the judge and I was simply classified as insane, the case was swept under the rug and I’ve been forced to live like this ever since.”

“I knew there was something wrong with that report,” Yunho muttered under his breath, “But why did you lie?”

“I was young and scared,” I sighed, my eyes searching Yunho’s face for any judgment, but it wasn’t there, “I thought they would lock me up if I didn’t make up a story. But in the end, I was locked up in my own house for six years, a prison still, just different. I fainted in the court too, I don’t remember much from there either.”

Yunho looked troubled as his eyebrows were deeply furrowed, his bottom lip thoroughly chewed on, and his spectacles pushed up on his nose. With his free hand, he reached forward, but stopped just before his fingertips could touch my hand and instead balled it up into a fist and lowered it back into his lap. His jaw clenched as he gulped, shaking his head as he looked down at his notebook.

“I have a scar on my abdomen,” I whispered, hand pressing against my covered stomach, “from having fallen over and cutting myself, do you believe me, Doctor?”

When Yunho’s jaw just clenched and he didn’t look at me, I gulped nervously and reached towards my sleeves to pull them off, to let the dress pool at my waist, but one fleeting glance at me had Yunho reaching forward with a panic-ridden face, his eyes widening, “Stop, what are you doing? I believe you, Y/N, I do.”

His hands were big and warm, wrapped completely around mine as the sleeve of my dress swiftly slipped off my left shoulder. His thumb rubbed my bruised knuckles, and despite the sting, I welcomed the affectionate gesture as it covered my arms in goosebumps. I released a long breath, my eyes boring into Yunho’s. His eyes were easy to read, he looked conflicted and confused. I had no idea if he believed me, but I wanted him to. Hurting Karina was wrong, but she deserved it, and I was glad I managed to make her hurt at least once compared to how many times she had hurt me. But I remained silent as Yunho leaned even closer, our faces a breath away from each other. He gulped, loudly, then frowned. As I opened my mouth, he looked alarmed and scrambled backwards, letting my hands drop into my lap as he gasped, grabbing for his things frantically. I didn’t understand what was happening, but when I tried to help, he just pushed my hand away. My heart hammered in my chest nervously as sweat rolled down my temples, and I stood so quickly I got whiplash. Doctor Jeong was just about to take off towards the house when a desperate question left my lips.

“Will you save me, Doctor Jeong?” My voice was trembling just as much as Yunho’s hands, “Will you become my caretaker and take me away with you, will you?”

My questions went unanswered as Yunho ran off, not even bothering to go inside the house as he followed the cobbled path to the front of the house. The engine of his motorcar was loud as I slumped back against the tree with a dizzy head.

             The committee was more eager than I had thought at first to wrap this whole thing up. Just two days after my last encounter with the doctor, a letter came at an early morning hour that the verdict would be given today. I was nervous, but I braced myself for the worst possible ending, which would be me being sent back to the asylum. I doubted I would survive that once again, so I could only hope the doctor had taken pity on me and would be generous in his report. My mother had been buzzing around the house all morning, making sure everything was perfect for the arrival of the committee. Cookies had been baked, fresh tea was brewed, the ground floor aired out with every corner dusted off, and the tea room was decorated with vases of freshly picked flowers. The grand doors were opened, creating a serene surrounding as I sat on the sofa by myself. Nobody was inside the room except for me, something which was rare. I gaze forward, at the visage, trying to commit it to memory. I wondered if I would get to see it tomorrow too.

Matilda had dressed me in a dainty white dress to feign innocence, with my hair pulled in a low bun, and daisies hanging out of it. It felt as if the ghost of my father was here to cheer me on, to offer me some braveness before everything would unfold. And it would, way too soon. There were loud knocks against the front door before it was opened, and six people piled inside our foyer. My mother and Karina quickly walked inside the room with my mother sitting next to me, meanwhile, Karina took her spot in her favourite armchair. The image was eerily similar to the first day the doctor had arrived, it made my heart race. The rest of my future was in the hands of another man, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I knew what I had done to Karina was wrong, but a small part of me knew that she had deserved it. My muscles tensed when Mr Brooks’ voice carried inside the tea room as he led the committee and Doctor Jeong inside. My jaw clenched and my hands balled into fists as they each walked in, eyes on me as I remained unmoving.

The committee consisted of the town mayor, the judge who had handled my case, the town’s richest married couple, and Father Louis, the head of our church. My stomach churned as the familiar faces sat down surrounding me, leaving space for Doctor Jeong at the front. Mr Brook sat next to my mother and held her hand, making my mother sigh loudly. I didn’t want to look at anyone, I was afraid to see what they hid in their eyes. The doctor seemed tense as he rolled his shoulders a few times, then cleared his throat and accepted the tea from Mrs Humphrey, who had insisted on staying in the room, in the back where she didn’t bother anyone. I couldn’t focus on anyone else but the doctor as he finally seemed like he was ready to speak up. He faced the room and his eyes took in everyone, staying on me for a second too long. I could see Karina sneer from my peripheral vision, but I didn’t care. I was just as curious to hear what Doctor Jeong had to say as the committee.

“Dear committee, Mr and Miss Brooks, Mrs and Miss Harold, and of course, Mrs Humphrey,” Doctor Jeong bowed his head lightly, “Thank you for coming, and I’d like to thank the committee for entrusting me with this intricate and peculiar case. I must say before I begin, that I have encountered cases like Miss Harold’s before, but neither one has been as complex as hers. I trust my personal judgement and everything I have learned up until this point, that my verdict is the right choice, and that if the committee sees it fit as well, it shall proceed with Miss Harold’s sentence accordingly.”

Doctor Jeong’s fingers were wrung together in front of him, his dark blue suit was perfect. He looked dashingly handsome with his wavy hair falling all over his forehead and into his eyes, his spectacles perched into the pocket of his vest. His warm eyes found mine for a second before he looked around the room again, nodding to himself. He took a deep breath and continued his speech, starting to pace around the front of the room. Him standing in front of the garden and the path that led to the willow tree was dreamy, “We all know that Miss Harold had lost her father when she was young, which would be hard news to swallow for a person at any age. I assume that his early death left Miss Harold traumatised in a way that could go unnoticed unless looked upon by a professional, which didn’t happen. Her stress and repressed pain had accumulated, waiting for a small spark to ignite the explosion, which did happen as we all know it. I spent a month daily by Miss Harold’s side, listening to stories of her childhood, and her adulthood, all leading up to the moment we’ve all been curious about. During my time studying her, I’ve come to observe that she is a very kind soul, attentive, and a generous person. She is soft-spoken and very sensitive to everything that happens around her, it is rather hard for me to imagine she could even as much as hurt a fly.”

I gulped, feeling my heart hammer in my chest as Yunho spoke with much conviction, his eyebrows furrowed as he stopped moving around, his eyes settling on Father Louis, “Her mental state, however, fluctuates a lot based on her surroundings, she easily reacts to the change of weather and the change of mood of a person. People like Miss Harold aren’t only in touch with their peers, but with nature as well, as insane as that might sound, it’s a rather special attribute to have. She’s had bad days during our sessions, and I had the chance to further observe the cause of this. As a psychiatrist, I do not enjoy lightly throwing out diagnoses, but I have to ensure the health of my patients. Miss Harold suffers from manic episodes that get triggered by certain words, environmental changes, and people. In Miss Harold’s stories, I have found one person who seemed to be always around her when these episodes happened, making me confident in my theory that she is Miss Harold’s trigger.”

The people in the room gasped as they looked around. My heart was hammering, I could feel my pulse in my throat, but I couldn’t help but let out an amused huff. Karina’s eyes were wide and her knuckles white as she gripped the armrest of the armchair, fear painting her face. It felt satisfying looking at her, and if I hadn’t known the doctor better, I would’ve missed the satisfied smirk on his lips there for a millisecond, “If this wasn’t about the health of Miss Harold, I wouldn’t be throwing out names so unabashedly, but this is to ensure her safety and health. Miss Brooks seems to like to pick on Miss Harold whenever she gets the chance, and she likes provoking her sister. Before anyone could deny my claim, I was witness to such a thing happening, Miss Brooks herself has said some very rude things about Miss Harold that no lady should utter, less about their sister, even if not related by blood. That being said, I cannot throw all the blame on Miss Brooks since Miss Harold is traumatised and doesn’t know how to handle it, or how to control her outbursts.”

Then, as if there was nobody else in the room with us, Doctor Jeong’s eyes found mine, his expression softening. Karina had started crying next to me, but I couldn’t care less as my mother was glaring at her, the committee didn’t look very pleased either.

“What she said in her report…” Doctor Jeong loosened his necktie a little, licking his lips, “Turns out to be true. In a fit of rage, she disassociated and acted upon instinct. I do not know if she had told anyone, but Miss Brooks had come between Miss Harold and her fiancé, breaking off their marriage. As someone who had been in love once, much like all of you in this room, I’d like to assume, we all know what it means to experience our first heartbreak. For someone who had grown up with this boy, loved him with their whole heart, and was supposed to grow old with them, to hear their engagement was broken off based on some lies made up by Miss Brooks not too soon after Miss Harold’s has lost her father must’ve been devastating. Thus, the trauma she had experienced before due to her father’s untimely death combined with another tragedy has made Miss Harold’s mind break, lose its bearings, making her unable to tell right from wrong.”

I couldn’t breathe as my eyes bore into Yunho’s, filling with tears. I had expected him to go against me for having lied in my report, or to try and go around the topic without bringing it up much, but no, he was actively lying for me and keeping up the image that I had a lapse of judgement all this time. My mother’s hand found mine as she squeezed it reassuringly, tears streaming down her cheeks. I glanced at her fleetingly, my body buzzing with life as my hands trembled. I wanted to see the faces of the committee members, but Yunho was all I could look at. There was a heavy sigh in the room, it could’ve come from Mr Brooks or someone else, I couldn’t tell.

“I’m very close to giving my verdict, so allow me to say this before that,” Yunho smiled softly, looking towards the committee with a gentle look on his face, but with a steely look in his eyes, “Miss Harold’s is a human like all of us in this room, and she is allowed to make mistakes. She’s been punished for her mistakes, probably unfairly, and we mustn’t make the same mistake again. I have concluded, that Miss Harold needs an environmental change for her to fully heal. This house no longer feels homey to her, she feels caged in and watched all the time, plus now you all know that Miss Brooks won’t leave her alone either. As a verdict, I have concluded that if the committee and her mother agree, Miss Harold could be assigned a new caretaker. And…before you make suggestions as to who could fit this role best, I would like you all to consider me as her new caretaker for the next year. I am a doctor, I know what to do and how to act in case she is having another episode. I will be leaving the country in a month to return to France, where my foster father has requested my presence. The environmental change would benefit Miss Harold greatly, that is, if you trust me, of course.”

I felt close to fainting by the time Yunho had stopped talking. Him, Doctor Jeong Yunho, my new caretaker? Could that be possible? Would the committee even let it happen? I had no idea, but I wanted to fall in his arms and sob as I thanked him for his effort, for listening to me, for trying to save me from this place. The committee erupted in whispered mutters amongst themselves, but Father Louis seemed more than pleased with Yunho. His brows were sweaty as he dabbed at them with the back of his wrist, his arms covered with the sleeves despite the heat. My mother wasn’t moving next to me, and Mr Brooks had turned his body away from Karina, who was trying to catch her father’s gaze insistently. Then, there was a tsk as the judge rose to his feet, all eyes falling on him.

“Thank you. Doctor Jeong, for your in-depth analysis and for the tabs and reports you’ve been keeping on Miss Harold this month, we appreciate it.” He rubbed at his chin, his hair already silver from age, “We have selected you, Doctor, to treat this delicate case because we have heard of your expertise. You have never once failed to treat your patients accordingly, and I find no reason to doubt your verdict, however, wouldn’t it be risky to take Miss Harold away from here? Couldn’t that trigger her madness even more? And if Mrs Harold won’t agree, she cannot go. Either way, we cannot let her go unless you promise to report back to us monthly, Doctor Jeong, and once the one year is up, you must return her home. She shall be reevaluated, then her fate will be decided for the future.”

When Yunho and my eyes met again, I knew my fate had been sealed. France, a new beginning by his side, sounded like a far-fetched dream that was now within my reach.

Yunho was a professional, except when it came to her. The lines had blurred long ago, he couldn’t tell who was the doctor and who was the patient when it came to her. All Yunho knew was that he could never let her go, not when she clung to him as if her life depended on him. Her lips tasted like honey and her moans were the prettiest music he had ever had the chance to hear, her skin soft and warm and her body so pliant underneath his. All it took was one touch from her for his whole being to crumble, he felt drunk on her, insatiable. Yunho knew he couldn’t let her return home, not now that he’d found Mingi too, not when the three of them were living in a tucked away village in a homey cottage, away from prying eyes. Yunho finally had what he’d been yearning for his whole life. His family was back, right within his reach, and even when he missed his home, he’d gaze upon Mingi and her, and realise that his home was here with them. And she was sweet like nectar, Yunho’s guilty pleasure that he just couldn’t get rid of—didn’t want to get rid of. He was a bad man for preying upon the innocent and unassuming ones, but may God forgive him for his sins, he was just a man after all. He knew he was bound to become insane like his patients one day, but Yunho was already a madman for her, and he didn’t care. Profession be damned, only the four walls of their cottage would truly know the truth, much like her amnesiac brain that had no desire to return to a land and home that’s treated her so horribly once. Here, Yunho was a complete man and he had wowed to protect what was his…no matter what it took. Mingi and her were staying there with him, forever.

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[queenie-avenue]

The smell of you drives him insane.

—> why was daniel carrying amortentia in his pocket?

⤻ inspired by @mngo-jii 's post about daniel with the love potion, love potion is not used on you, mutual pining, lovey-dovey, reader is gender neutral, reader is the mc of the game, and reader is charming (in line with the canon of the game), reader is referred to as [y/n], no content warning.

🦋 ⤻ archives.

For days, you had been wondering what in Merlin's beard was Daniel — Daniel Page, the oddball you liked so much — was doing with a potion of the strongest love potion there was, just sitting idly in his pocket. Where had he even learnt to brew such a strong potion? Or did he buy it.

If so, for what purpose.

You rolled around in your bed, rustling your sheets about as you tried to get your mind off the thoughts of Daniel and his love potion. Your rustling had seemed to even disturb Lottie as she groaned and told you to stop rustling about your bed.

"Sorry, Lottie. Just a bit restless is all," you apologised as you got up. You would hate to wake up Lottie or Ivy with your ceaseless thoughts of Daniel, and you couldn't help but flush at the thought of you struggling to stop thinking of Daniel.

God, I really need to stop, you thought.

Still, your curiosity burnt like Incendio. You groaned and finally decided to head to the common room for some reprieve. You were clearly keeping others awake with your brooding, even if they didn't know that it was about Daniel of all people.

"I'll go get some tea from the common room," you whispered to Lottie, informing her of where you'd go before heading outside and descending down the staircase.

Just from the corner of the staircase, you could already hear the bubbling coming from the common room.

"Hey Daniel," you greeted.

"Oh, hi [y/n]," Daniel yawned, as he looked lazily over you.

Was it just you or did his eyes linger a bit too long?

"You couldn't sleep?" Daniel inquired, eyes retreating back into his cauldron of whatever new potion he was brewing.

"Yeah, I kept tossing and turning but I didn't want to wake Ivy and Lottie up, so here I am!" You jokingly added jazz hands to your words.

Daniel seemed to appreciate the joke as he burst out in soft laughter. "Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep either." He continued as you decided to take a seat on the couch, watching Daniel on the opposite side as he continued to stir the cauldron. "You want a potion to help you sleep?" He offered, helpful as usual; even if he didn't like to admit it.

"No, no, it's fine." You shook your head. "I think I'll just watch you brew potions."

"Great, added pressure." He chuckled snarkily. "If you distract me and I ruin this potion, you're helping to clean up."

"Alright." You shrugged your soldiers. You were used to helping around with a lot of things, really. On your first day, you had already helped make a search team to try and find Ivy and well... the rest was history. Heck, even some strangers asked for help, and you couldn't reject them. You thought back to your muggle days and couldn't help but compare it to a video game.

This time, it was your turn to glance over at Daniel. You watched as he skillfully poured some concoction into his cauldron before stirring it. It was like your eyes were some kind of magnifying glass as you zoomed in all the smaller details of his face. His hair was matted to his forehead thanks to the sweat. You knew that the heat needed to brew certain potions was quite strong. You wished you had a handkerchief to pass to Daniel. Or better, to wipe his forehead off with.

Finally, your eyes wandered down to his cauldron, and the questions you kept asking in bed persisted. Just what was he doing with amortentia? Why did he have it? Was he planning to use it on someone? Why didn't he tell you? Why did you feel hurt by the idea the potion was not meant for you?

Just what were you doing with that amortentia in your pocket, Daniel?

His head suddenly snapped up to meet your gaze. Oops, did you say that aloud?

"What?" Daniel asked, his eyes widening into saucers, his cheeks heated up like someone had casted incendio on him.

Well, you came so far, might as well ask. "That day, when we were helping Hagrid, there was a bottle of Amortentia in your pocket." You said. "What were you doing with that? I didn't even know you could brew it! Isn't it a rather advanced potion?" You continued to question, causing Daniel's pale cheeks to continue turning a dark shade of red. You would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it.

"I- I didn't brew it." Said Daniel, attempting to focus on the smaller aspects of your interrogation. "I bought it from the Weasley's." He clarified. "I would like to brew Amortentia one day, though! I heard that it's a challenging thing." The boy continued, scratching the back of his neck.

He may think he's slick, but you catch on quite easily.

"Then why did you buy it?" You inquired again, goading him on. "You don't plan to use it on anyone, do you?" She gasped, feeling a bit disturbed by the prospect of Daniel dosing someone else. If that someone was you, though... perhaps you'd be more susceptible to that idea.

"No, no!" Daniel denied hurriedly. "I know better than to practically drug someone, bloody hell." He sighed.

"Then why?" You pressed.

"I just... I just like how it smells." Your eyes widened at the reveal. Of all the things you had conjured in your head, Daniel liking the smell of the potion was something you had not expected. Then you remembered.

"Doesn't Amortentia smell like what or who you're most attracted to?" You recalled. "I read it in one of those potion books you borrowed me."

"Well... yeah. I just, you know, like it."

A pregnant pause filled the room.

"So... what does yours smell like?" You asked.

Daniel seemed to not expect such a bold question as he almost fell off his chair. "I- that's a bit... I don't know! I just know it smells good!" He replied.

"Oh, come on, Daniel, you got me more curious than a cat!" You exclaimed.

"And curiosity killed the cat, just so you know." Daniel replied snarkily.

"Yet satisfaction brought it back to life so please!" You pleaded.

"No!"

"Please, Daniel! I won't ask for anything more!"

This went on for another few minutes until the boy finally caved in. You were honestly top charming for your own good, Daniel could not help but think.

"But I... It's embarrassing."

"Here, I'll smell the potion too so it's embarrassing for the both of us!" You offered with a grin.

How could Daniel refuse that smile? Also, how could he refuse knowing what you were attracted to. If possible, he would brew a potion or some type of perfume that would allow him to smell just like how your Amortentia did.

"Deal." He smirked as he brought out the small vial of Amortentia. He popped open the cap and passed it to you.

You took a whiff of it and immediately froze. There was the scent of your favorite type of candy and your favourite flowers alongside the smell of the pages of your favourite book but... there was also something else. Something... you hadn't exactly expected but also was not shocked by.

The scent of sweet burnt wood, lemon zest and oddly enough, the scent of Daniel's hands; smelling of various herbs he had picked up the other week.

You stared at the potion and took another whiff.

Blimey. You thought.

"Well?" Daniel had leaned in a bit closer after a while.

"Tell yours first." You demanded.

"Ugh... fine." Daniel groaned as his brown eyes fluttered close, focusing on the scent of the love potion. Taking advantage of this, you couldn't help but continue to stare at Daniel, at his auburn hair, his chapped lips that you just wanted to smother your chapstick with. Everything about him was as attractive to you as that scent in the potion.

"I smell... the herbology classroom... not that icky stuff but the nice herbs and all that Professor Longbottom helped us pick," he commented, and you couldn't help but grip your uniform in excitement and anticipation. "I smell smokey wood, kind of like my house and the smell of gold?" He said. Was that all?

Daniel had frozen too.

After a small pause, he carried on.

"I smell [favourite flowers], a bit of [favourite candies] and... and..." His cheeks blushed as his eyes widened, blushing red.

"And what, Daniel?"

"And nothing!" He exclaimed.

"I don't believe you." You shook your head. "Come on, we had a deal. You promised to tell me!"

"Then you tell me yours first! I gave you a sneak preview! I deserve that, at least!" You shook your head at Daniel's words, but if he decided to be coy, you had to be the one to be bold!

"I smell my favourite flowers, my favourite candy, and the pages of my favourite book." You said.

"And?" This time it was his turn to press.

"You." You replied. "I don't know how to describe it." You knew exactly how but you just wanted your words to sink in properly that the Amortentia smelled like Daniel Page himself, so he wouldn't misunderstand. Your cheeks burned as he gazed at you.

"Me?"

"Yeah, wood, lemon zest, and all the herbs you gathered last week with me." You replied, staring straight into his eyes.

Daniel stayed silent for a moment. "I smell... your bedsheets. And your hands." He continued, using a tamer version of what you had confessed to him.

"Nice." Was all you could say.

An awkward silence enveloped the two of you as Daniel looked down at his abandoned potion, which had been all but evaporated by now thanks to him not paying attention to the heat.

"Want to help me brew this essence of dittany?" He asked, all of a sudden.

"Yeah." You smile.

"Come here, then." He motioned for you to take a seat beside him and you obeyed, practically rushing to his side as you read out the instructions.

It was distracting, though, especially with Daniel sitting so close and his nose practically buried in your hair.

✧ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ✧

"Should we wake them up?" Lottie asked, looking over at Ivy who was giggling like a toddler.

"No!" She said, perhaps too aggressively, considering that Lottie had stumbled back a bit. "Sorry. I think we should let them rest, it is the weekend, after all." Ivy smiled as she took Lottie's hands and hurriedly ran out the door of the common room.

Ivy ran back to them and quickly took a camera out, though. She just had to capture this picture to tease them about later.

Ivy properly left the common room with an image of Daniel and [y/n] on the couch of the common room; their heads lay against each other, mouths open and slightly drooling with their fingers interlaced.

[badasmuse]

“She Knows”

Bada Lee x Reader

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI), language, penetrative and oral sex, bottom!reader, jealous!bada, lowercase intended, jam republic!reader, uhh spit kink

Summary: dancing on kirsten couldn’t rile bada up that bad… right?

Kinda based off “She Knows” by Ne-yo & Juicy J

after mc kang daniel announces that team bebe have won swf, i immediately run ti bada hugging her tight.

we’ve been dating for about a month, meeting on the show obviously and immediately clicking. we kept our relationship a secret since i am on another team, jam republic, and we didn’t want anyone thinking our relationship would get in the way of our performances. like jessi said, this is competition.

i feel eyes on us as i hold onto bada, mumbling congratulations and how i’m so proud of her.

“you guys seem close.” latrice says as she gets closer.

“she’s my girlfriend.” i say caressing bada’s hair. “we’ve been dating for like a month and a half we just didn’t say anything because the competition.”

“I KNEW IT!” kyma yells, “i told you. you all owe me twenty. i’m getting PAID YESSIRRR!!”

“betting on our relationship is insane. anyways, we should celebrate. club anyone?”

a chorus of yeses follow and an hour and a half later we’re all at the club getting drinks and dancing.

“don’t drink too much baby.” bada tells me, cuddling into my side.

“i won’t” i respond. i sit up straight when i hear my song come on. “oh shit kirsten come dance with me!!” i say standing and pulling her to the dance floor.

the look on kirsten’s face is priceless as i start dancing against her.

“what are you doing?” she asks.

“remember when we did angels in tibet? bada texted me when we went back to the rooms all jealous cause you touched on me and i was shaking my ass. it was cute but you know how i went out shopping that day y’all went to record with jungkook? and i came back limping and told you i pulled a muscle? i didn’t pull a muscle..”

“oh she had you like that?” she laughs and i hit her arm.

“anyway, i’m tryna get like that again and you’re gonna help me.” i sip my drink and dance against her as my song plays, moving my hips to the beat of the song.

i look up and make eye contact with bada. her jaw is clenched and she’s bouncing her leg underneath the table. i send her a wink and grab kirsten’s hand putting it on my hip which has bada poking her tongue against her cheek. oh yeah, it’s going my way.

i take another sip of my drink and lean into kirsten as another song comes on, this one sexier than the last, “do me a favor. i’m gonna lean into you i need you to run your hand down my back towards my ass, she’ll come over here before you get to it.”

“don’t get me beat up y/n.” she laughs but obliges, hand traveling from my hair and down my back. she reaches my lower back when i feel another hand on my waist, yanking me away.

“you’re on thin fucking ice y/n.” bada whispers in my ear, “sorry kirsten we have to go.” she doesn’t wait for a response, just pulls me out the door and to her car.

i pout putting on my seatbelt. “always ruining my fun. i just wanted to dance you suck.” i say.

she grips the steering wheel but stays silent.

“you not gon say nothing? you just gon drive like i’m not talking to you?” i roll my eyes. “bada lee i know you hear me talking to you.”

we hit a red light and she turns towards on me, hand immediately going to my neck, applying light pressure and pulling me close to her.

“y/n remember when i told you you’re on thin ice? that shit just broke.” she says letting go and driving off once the light changes.

—————————

“you think it’s funny letting people touch all over you?” bada asks, cuffing my hands to the headboard. “you just love the attention you get huh? and then you have the audacity to just start mouthing off? really? let’s see how much you talk tonight.”

i giggle knowing it’ll piss her off, “i love attention bada you know that.” i let out a squeal when she slaps my thigh.

“that’s fine. you wanna act like a whore? you’ll get treated like one.”

she takes off her shirt and pulls my thong off, leaving the skirt on me, and immediately attaches her lips to my clit. “oh shit.” i breathe out tugging at the handcuffs.

she swirls her tongue around my clit and thrusts two fingers in me off rip. like damn can i get a minute? i moan louder as she curls her long fingers up hitting my spot so easily. took her thirty seconds to find that shit.

“fuck bada i’m gonna cum.” i cry out twisting and turning. tears pricked my eyes. fuck she’s so damn good at this.

she doesn’t stop, obviously, flicking her tongue faster and man that did it. i came on her face and fingers, body jerking slightly. she licks it all up and comes back up to me gripping my face.

“open.” she mumbles and i listen, sticking my tongue out slightly. she leans down and spits my cum into my mouth. “swallow it.”

i listen, swallowing it and sticking my tongue out so she can see.

“good girl.” she walks away from the bed going in her bottom drawer and grabbing her strap. man she’s about to kill me.

she turns me over roughly, pulling my hips up and pushing my head into the pillows. she don’t even give me time before she pushes into me and just starts pounding making me see stars.

“oh shit b-bada slow down.” i stutter gripping the chains on the cuffs.

“nah you wanted attention you’re getting it.” she makes me arch deeper and moves her hips faster.

i let out a scream as she shifts angles to pound into my spot yet again. she laughs as her fingers go to my clit rubbing it slowly.

“bada!” i yell out trying to move away.

“yeah, say my name pretty girl.” she says making me moan loudly. “no one will ever make you feel this good. ever. look at the way you moan for me and clench around my strap like it’s gonna disappear. you definitely belong to me.”

i inhale sharply, “cum..” i whimper out not being able to form the sentence properly.

she stops, pulling out of me and i start sobbing. “bada please i’m so close.”

she ignores me, uncuffing me and flipping me on my back and pushing back into me. my hands fly to her back, nails raking down leaving marks, if not drawing blood.

“oh shit right there bada.” i moan as she goes harder, lips finding my neck leaving marks on me. now that the show is over she can leave them everywhere.

she leans up, pinning my hands to the bed, and pressing on my stomach. that shit had me cumming. my eyes roll back and my legs shake and i let out a scream, tears flowing down my face. she keeps going, helping me ride out my orgasm.

“attagirl. ride it out. cum all over my strap.” she says, not stopping. the air leaves my lungs as her fingers find my clit and i shake my head.

“no no bada i can’t take it.” i cry out, but my fuck ass body betrays me by arching into her touch, pulling her closer.

“seems like you can pretty girl.” she says slowing down her thrusts but keeping the power.

“give me one more.” she whispers speeding up her pace on my clit.

i let out a whine and squirt all over her, falling back onto the bed.

she pulls out eyes wide. “oh shit i didn’t know you could do that!” she exclaims.

i take a few minutes to collect myself and she walks to the bathroom, “no one’s ever made me.. do that before.” i say when she comes back, cleaning me up and kissing my sore wrists.

“nice to know i’m just that talented.” she smiles.

after helping me to the bathroom and changing the sheets (having to put down some towels cause the mattress is wet) bada lays down next to me, pulling me on her chest.

“you know, you don’t have to act like an attention whore to get rough sex.” she says smiling once again. “next time ask for it.”

“girl fuck you. it’s more fun this way.”

[badgalsasuke]

So Kishimoto has talked about how he referenced Raimi's Spider-man movies in the Naruto manga and we all realized he was talking about the iconic upside down kiss that inspired the panel of Sasuke looking at Naruto under the rain

If you've read Naruto and watched Raimi's Spider-man trilogy then you would not be surprised that Kishimoto likes PeterMJ, after all Raimi used several romantic tropes that Kishimoto also likes and implemented in his own work.

So I've decided to make this post drawing the similarities between both couples.

Both relationships are the core of their respective stories. Kishimoto states that without Sasuke there is no Naruto, and the story would be over in ten chapters. In Raimi's Spider-man, the first thing Peter Parker tells us is that his story revolves around a girl, Mary Jane Watson.

2. Compassion for the outcast: Both Naruto and Peter Parker start their series as outcast losers who are made fun of by their peers and subjected to their cruelty. Mary Jane is the first person we see show compassion towards Peter with no ulterior motive; she demands for the bus to stop after Peter had been chasing them for blocks begging them to stop. Similarly, Sasuke is also the first person (as in a peer, not a father figure) in the manga to show compassion to Naruto; their team had been ordered to not share food with Naruto after he broke some rules of a test, otherwise they'd be all failed and their careers as ninjas would end. Sasuke didn't care about this and still fed him anyway after seeing how hungry he was.

3. Both MJ and Sasuke are Peter and Naruto's driving forces. In the spider-man movie when Aunt May is at the hospital, Peter and MJ share a very heartfelt conversation where Peter says the following:

The great thing about Mj is… when you look in her eyes and she’s looking back in yours everything feels not quite normal because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time, you feel excited and at the same time terrified. The truth is you don’t know what you feel except you know what kind of man you wanna be, is if you’ve reached the unreachable and you weren’t ready for it.

In Naruto ch. 319 we see Naruto training a new technique but failing during the day. Then, at night he sees a shooting star, takes his hand to his heart and thinks about Sasuke, that's when he decides to get up and continue training all night, the next day he's finally been succesful in his new technique and Kakashi acknowledges his driving force is Sasuke. Sasuke inspires and moves Naruto to become the ninja he wants to be.

Other examples of MJ and Sasuke being the driving forces of the MC are in Spider-man 2 Peter loses his powers when he thinks Mary Jane no longer loves him and wants nothing to do with him, but after she asks him to meet him in a café and confesses she wants to kiss him because she believes she still loves him, he regains his powers immediately and is able to detect with his re-gained spidersense Doc Ock has just thrown a car at them.

And in Naruto's ch. 647-648 we see a defeated and exhausted Naruto losing hope on winning the war they're fighting, then Sasuke jumps in and without needing to give a grand speech and simply saying "That's all you got? I'm just getting started" is able to move Naruto and encourage him to keep fighting to the point when Naruto shares his chakra with everybody else they all see his thoughts and sense his feelings on how important Sasuke is for him.

Hehe Naruto is crazy for Sasuke. This is such an insane thing to do lmfao.

4. Going berserk for their loved ones. In the first Spider-man movie Peter is being defeated by the Green Goblin and he tells Peter: "Had you not been so selfish, you're little girlfriend's death would've been quick and painless but now that you've really pissed me off I'm gonna finish her nice and slow. MJ and I... we're gonna have a hell of a time". After this, Peter Parker became furious and almost beat the Green Goblin to death. Then, in Spider-man 2, Doc Ock attacks Peter and MJ then tells Peter to find Spider-man otherwise he'll peel the flesh off MJ's bones, Peter Parker who had lost his powers, once again becomes furious.

In Naruto's case, in ch. 27 we see how Haku almost kills Sasuke but Naruto believed he had managed to kill him so for the first time in his life, he unleashes the Kyuubi powers and almost kills Haku. Then again, in ch. 291 Naruto unleashes 4 tails of the kyuubi after Orochimaru calls Sasuke "My Sasuke-kun".

5. Miscommunication between the main character and their loved one. Throughout the Spider-Man trilogy we see Peter and MJ struggle to communicate with each other. Peter in particular, is unable to tell Mary Jane he loves her because he's also Spider-man and he believes that'd put her in danger, but he never explains to MJ the situation so she's left not knowing if Peter loves her for certain or not and she also doesn't understand all this back and forth he puts her through.

Kishimoto is a sucker for the miscommunication trope, he loves that shit and in his manga that's basically what's moving the plot forward. Throughout the entire manga Naruto is discovering what his true feelings for Sasuke are but he's never truly clear whenever he tries to explain them to Sasuke, hence why the latter is constantly asking Naruto why is he doing everything he does for him, basically going "what are we?" lol

[malachiexists13]

CHARACTER/S: Scaramouche [He/Him] MC/READER INSERT: Y/n [AFAB - She/Her]  PROMPT/S + GENRE/S: Kinktober Day 4: Make-Up Sex  ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP: Dating  REQUESTED BY: N/A DATE WRITTEN: Sept.08.2024 DATE POSTED: Oct.04.2024 WORD COUNT: 875 

//TW:  - Praise Kink, Argument mentioned, Scara mentioned being mean, Cunnilingus, Creampie, slightly soft Scara, fem!Y/n with female anatomy, Scara has a penis here sorry, Dub-con, cussing, Teasing, Early Orgasm? Maybe?, Scara gets a lil mean towards the end 

DISCLAIMER: This is smut written by a minor; someone under the age of 18. If that makes you uncomfortable, then please DNI.

NOTES: This was technically the first smut I’d written in almost a year so forgive me if it’s bad. I took an unintentional break and then completely forgot how to write. 

SUMMARY: Scaramouche chuckled at her reaction and sped up his ministrations, “C’mon, pretty girl. Let me hear your sweet voice… You wanted more of my attention, right? Then…” He pulled his fingers out and moved to settle between her soft thighs. His breath fanned her sensitive pussy as he looked up from between her legs, causing her to shudder. “I’ll give you my attention…” he whispered. 

AO3 LINK: [Coming Soon]

---------------------------------------------------------

Dating Scaramouche was never easy. High maintenance, snarky, large ego, lack of a filter– it was… a lot. And the only reason Y/n put up with it was because she loved him, bad attitude and all. She especially adored the moments when he’d show he loved her, too. But right now, she wasn’t having it. Not after they’d gotten into an argument over his current work schedule and he called her a ‘needy, pathetic bitch.’ Scaramouche had realized the impact of his words as soon as he saw her reaction. But the damage was done. And Y/n refused to forgive so easily, resulting in her giving him the cold shoulder– 

And refused to break it, even with Scaramouche’s fingers gently thrusting into her cunt as his lips pressed against her neck in soft kisses. 

“C’mon, baby…” he whispered, “Forgive me? You know I love you. And I didn’t mean to take my stress out on you.” Y/n bit her lip, refusing to let him hear any words or noise from her. Scaramouche scowled as he noticed what she was doing, and he proceeded to press his fingers deeper into her– his thumb beginning to rub her sensitive clit. A small whimper spilled from her lips in response, but she bit down harder in an attempt to muffle herself once more. Scaramouche chuckled at her reaction and sped up his ministrations. 

“C’mon, pretty girl. Let me hear your sweet voice… You wanted more of my attention, right? Then…” He pulled his fingers out and moved to settle between her soft thighs. His breath fanned her sensitive pussy as he looked up from between her legs, causing her to shudder. 

“I’ll give you my attention…” he whispered. Y/n shuddered, biting back another moan as she felt his tongue against her wet heat. Teasingly licking stripes from her entrance to her clit in slow and light motions. Oh, how those teasing licks of his slowly pushed at her restraint. Gradually driving her insane. How she suddenly found herself wanting to break her silence– to ask him for more. But before she could even think of saying anything– Scaramouche gripped her thighs, pulling her closer to his face as he began to suck at her clit. 

His actions suddenly reeked of desperation. He was sucking and licking at her cunt like a starved man. And she wouldn’t be surprised if the way his fingertips gripped her thighs left bruises, or at the very least soreness in the morning. She moaned out in half-surprise, causing a breath of what almost sounded like relief to come from Scaramouche. “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, “Forgive me, baby… ‘M sorry. I don’t think you’re pathetic– and I don’t care if you’re needy. I love you, pretty girl.” He murmured against her cunt. 

But before she could even respond, he pulled away and leaned on top of her to face her. His brow furrowed and indigo eyes filled with lust as he spoke in a soft voice, “Tell me you forgive me, sweetheart. Say you forgive me…” he leaned closer, to whisper into her, “so I can fuck you and feel you come on my dick.” 

Y/n felt her breath hitch at his words, and her body shuddered. As much as she wanted to stay mad, she couldn’t. Not when he was looking so desperately at her. Not when he expressed his desires so clearly like that. So she gave in, “I forgive you, Scara.” she murmured, then whispered, “...Please.” 

Scaramouche grinned, “..Thank you, baby. I’ll make you feel so good.” He sat up, fiddling with his pants until he freed his cock. Without another moment’s hesitation, Scaramouche pressed the tip of his cock to her entrance. He briefly glanced up at her again, and then he pushed in– a groan slipping from him as he slid inside her, all the way to the hilt. Her breathing grew heavier as Scaramouche’s hips pressed flushed against hers. 

“Shit, pretty girl… You feel so good,” Scaramouche groaned as he began to move his hips in shallow thrusts. They moaned in unison, Scaramouche grabbing Y/n’s legs to put over his shoulders as he thrusted even deeper and faster. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room along with the stench of an undeniable heated lust. He was desperate, desperate for her– and he intended to drag her down with him. To make her just as desperate. 

“Fuck– fuck, shit. ‘M sorry, baby– ah.. Gonna cum–” He suddenly groaned after a long moment, before he came. His release painting her insides white in quick spurts as he continued to move. His hand came down to rub her clit vigorously, pushing her to her own orgasm as she whimpered out. Before they both stilled, and panted softly. Y/n assumed that was it– however, Scaramouche made no move to pull out. 

Once he caught his breath, he smirked at her– and she realized he was still hard inside her… “I’m not done, sweetheart…” he cooed, leaning forward and beginning to thrust into her sensitive cunt again, “I intend to fuck you until you can’t take it anymore. Until you know for a fact that no matter what I say… I love you.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Notes: Just thought I’d add for the record that I don’t think this is the proper way to apologize to your partner following an argument? But it’s Scara so can’t really expect much from him.

To: SUMERU [Masterlist] || Kinktober 2024 Masterlist || Alternative Day 4 || Day 5 || Main Masterlist 

This work was written by and belongs to Malachi Exists. It is only posted to Tumblr and Archive of Our Own. Any other reposts to other websites are likely stolen and should be reported as such. Reblogging/sharing this work via links is fine. But permission to repost, even with credit, will never be granted.

[choccy-milky]

A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.

Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.

If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.

OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭

@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot

brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like

its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖

@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖

THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)

[xxsycamore]

JOYRIDE

╰┈➤ 💕MC has always dreamed about Arthur taking her for a drive, almost as much as Arthur himself has. But once the opportunity arises, they both seem to be having other ideas...

Arthur Conan Doyle x MC • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Car Sex; Modern Era; Public Sex; pretty sure they're breaking at least a few moral AND actual laws in this; Kissing; Not Wearing Underwear; Teasing; Clothed Sex; Riding; Blow Jobs; Oral Sex; Come Swallowing • wordcount: 2,241 • masterlist

a/n: Also titled "Arthur driving (me insane)". I love his card, I'm sorry.

Part of my Sexy Ikemen Summer Creation Challenge. Prompts: In the car while traveling + Forgo underwear on the date

"Soo… what do we think?"

MC crosses her legs, angling herself just a little more in Arthur's direction so she won't miss all the intriguing little changes happening on his face. He's just finished spending a handful of seconds being stunned speechless, admiring the car's outer appearance before joining her inside. He places his hands on the steering wheel to get a better feeling of it, marine blue eyes sparkling with the wonder of a child receiving a shiny new toy on Christmas morning. They don't lose their spark one bit when landing on MC, head shaking in disbelief.

"Luv, you're absolutely bonkers. What did you do?"

She chuckles, smoothing out the front of her skirt that has ridden up just a bit from the motion of crossing her legs. It's actually a good sign that Arthur has just missed that, he must truly be captivated by her little surprise.

"I rented it! I know how much you love to drive and… I always thought it was such a shame that we're living in such an early age of car manufacturing. But now that we can freely travel through the door, I can finally help you go for a drive just like you remember it! Well, not exactly how you remember it, but…"

The MGA convertible they're currently seated in is a 1957 model, meaning it came out a couple of decades after his death, but practically is the closest thing available to his beloved dark green 16-horse-power Dietrich-Lorraine. MC even found one in the same color. Arthur's cheeks must be hurting by now but the grin is yet to fall from his face. He's busy checking out everything on the dashboard, testing buttons and adjusting the rearview mirror.

"A modern masterpiece! By Jove, how unbelievable it is that I'm going to drive this thing! MC, dear, I— Come here."

Rejuvenated by the taste of "modernity", Arthur grabs the back of MC's head to pull her in for a kiss charged with utter joy, excitement, and lots of thankfulness, of course. She's happy to catch the master of the pen being out of words, burning this sight into her memory. Actually, that's exactly what she bought a camera for. Click! Arthur, now back to his business, doesn't even register the sealing of the memory, probably due to the absence of the flash. It only makes the capture more natural-looking, and MC is satisfied with that.

"MC, thank you so much. I'm such a lucky man. And you terribly outdid yourself, you little rascal!"

Putting away the camera somewhere just close enough for some more on-the-spot memories to be sealed, MC leans in and puts a peck on Arthur's cheek, feeling her own sides beginning to heat up.

"Don't thank me just yet, wait until we get that baby on the road! I did promise you a surprise for your birthday that would come a little later in the summer, on our next trip to the 21st century… I'm cheating a little by indulging in your joy here, you know? Because of how I've always dreamed of you taking me for a drive like this, hehe…"

It would be interesting to show Arthur what a truly modern automobile looks like, but she figured that would be too much of a headache for him just yet. Besides, she prefers it if he can actually drive the thing without it ending in a crash.

It's illegal either way, and they're both aware of that, with Arthur not possessing any documents, but it's a risk they're willing to take. And Comte totally didn't tell them not to worry about that, in a very cryptic fashion. But just to make sure, they opt for a rural highway once they pull off, and make it a point to stay extra alert.

"You know what else I'm thinking about?"

Feeling the wind in her hair, MC's soft hum of interest comes a bit tardy as she's too occupied by their cruising. This only results in her slightly jumping in her seat the moment a delicate warm hand snakes its way to her exposed knee.

"Fooling around in a car with you."

She takes her eyes off the road to instead regard the audacity of that devious hand, her widened eyes then trailing to the culprit behind the steering wheel. And his shit-eating grin.

"Arthur…"

Heartbeat speeding up as his fingerpads dip under her skirt and dig into the inside of her thigh, MC can't help pressing her legs together to trap his hand in between. It's the far opposite of what she'd liked her reaction to be, with such a reckless distraction… Oh, but Arthur's own eyes are on the road, and he prides himself in being able to please a woman even with his eyes closed, and the bubbles of adrenaline pop and fuzz low in her belly and morph into something more tangible and liquid…

"Would you look at that, luv? A dirt road I could easily go onto and find a good place to pull off. Or we can drive by it and keep chit-chatting, it's entirely your call. But do make up your mind quickly!"

Alarms go off in MC's mind as she struggles to come out of the daze, and it's hard when Arthur's implication only puts her deeper in there. Just how did their scenic drive come to this?

"Pull off."

Arthur drums the wheel with his other hand, visibly pleased with her decision. In another minute the car's engine goes quiet and the world inside MC's head only gets louder, as she's being pulled into Arthur's lap.

Albeit cramped, the luxurious interior of the car makes it possible for such acrobatics, much to MC's surprise, as the leather front seat is wide and not disjointed like in modern cars. Her knees sink down on each side of Arthur as he begins feeling her up - grabbing handfuls of her ass and making her skirt hike up, then following the dips of her sides up to her breasts and bringing them in closer to his face. He's at the perfect height to bury his face in her bosom, yet the vampire in him always gets more distracted by her delectable nape. He licks a wet stripe across it, feeling the call of her blood pulse alluringly under the wet muscle. But they wouldn't want to make too much mess now, would they?

"Still up for a ride, dove?"

Arthur rocks MC's body down on his groin and puts a barely needed emphasis on what his offer entails. The soft whine that leaves her lips is like music to Arthur's ears, and he already wants to make her sing for him more. That's why he loses little time leaving those tantalizing caresses where the skin isn't burning to the touch with need, and his hand ends up fully under her skirt, cupping her hot arousal.

And to his surprise, there's no barrier separating his touch from her core.

"My, someone planned this? I can't believe you tricked me into thinking all you wanted was an innocent little drive!"

She knew this moment would come, yet now all her comebacks are forgotten with only a guilty little laugh leaving her curled-up lips. While seducing him so boldly was on the list for their date, she was thinking more of some nice and secluded spot for this to happen, preferably away from the vehicle…

MC grinds down on his palm, even if the morsel of pleasure quickly leaves her starving for more. She could get off of his lap, demand they put the roof on, push him down on the seat, do anything that will ease this feeling of committing the forbidden, laced with plenty of embarrassment on top. But alas, thrill prevails.

"Nnh… Take me now Arthur, don't waste any time…!"

Ignoring the inevitable teasing little "oh?" coming from her boyfriend, MC reaches underneath her to undo Arthur's belt. She likes his outfit for their date, grey trousers and a brown leaf-print shirt, a pair of sunglasses tucked casually in the crux of his undone upper three buttons. MC briefly considers moving them out of harm's way, to his handsome face for instance, but then his beautiful eyes would be obscured, and that'd be such a shame…

Arthur's own hands intrude to get the job done even faster, and once his cock springs out aching and throbbing, he guides her soft fingers to wrap around it.

He's quick to claim her lips as soon as her face is in close proximity, angled down to look at the growing hardness she's stoking, and the sweetness of her mouth only enhances the sensation but he can't not kiss her breathless. MC moans in his mouth, the clenching of her core becoming more agonizing with the promise of what's to come making itself known hot and heavy in her tight fist.

"Do you want to put it in yourself, little bird?"

Oh, she sees now. Arthur is making her embrace the act completely, to finish what she's started until he can come out clean in the end… It's more than a little unfair at this point. But perhaps this is not such a bad thing.

Letting go of Arthur's hot mouth with a last little suckle of his tongue, MC pins down his gaze as she secures a hand on his shoulder, ascending from her seat ever so slightly.

After an adjustment of her position, the tip of his cock comes to rest snuggly against her swollen lips and MC sways her hips softly. She uses her hand to guide it in, or at least pretends to, because as soon as the head begins to breach the leaking hole of her opening, MC pulls it out again.

"Mm…Naughty girl… don't tease now. Be nice."

Instead of falling for his husky whispering and quickly complying, MC keeps her act on. The next time she catches Arthur's gaze, his eyes are half-lidded and the cheekiness is wiped off his face.

His quiet hiss of anticipation motivates MC and she gets a little bit ahead of herself - because that's just what Arthur has waited for, and he uses the opportunity of the new shallow penetration to grab her by the waist and press down. Slowly but insistingly.

"Ahhh—Arthur-"

They both watch his cock disappear inside her, with MC throwing her head back once he bottoms out. Arthur groans at the tightness enveloping him, kissing her exposed neck.

"See? It was easy. Don't deny your desires, luv." His little noisy pecks should be calming her senses down but the fire inside her has only spread further. She figures it's about time for her to take the reins, and using Arthur's shoulders for leverage, she begins bouncing in his lap, settling an ambitious pace right away.

Arthur rests his arm on the door, admiring her as the expression on her face grows lewder by the second, struggling to keep up with the explosive waves of pleasure hitting her one after another yet still stubbornly fucking herself on his cock.

"Haah- So fast… You're going to make me come, luv."

The sudden squeezing he feels around his cock makes a brand new grin bloom on Arthur's face, and he's quick to move his other hand downwards and see if she can keep going when he doubles the pleasure. MC all but screams at the feeling of his fingers rubbing her clit in rhythm with her own thrusts, unable to do anything but to embrace the orgasm that rips through her like lightning.

Arthurs coos at her blissed-out face, even if he's barely holding himself back from joining her in the climax. Only when she falls completely out of rhythm does he take it upon himself to seize control, but just as he opens his mouth to warn of his upcoming orgasm MC unexpectedly gets completely off of him.

Arthur's deep-sea blue eyes follow her movements until her head suddenly descends and hovers over his twitching cock, her mouth opening to take him in. He can do little but remain where he is as she coaxes a powerful orgasm out of him with ease, her plush lips closing around his tip and enthusiastically sucking the seeping currents as they come one by one.

The moan that carries her name is etching itself into her very heart, with just a little spark of arousal to it that she can ignore for the time being. Arthur places his hand gently under her chin, but he can't help himself prodding at her bottom lip with his thumb just for a glimpse of the fluids coating her tongue.

She sticks it out for him but as a mockery more than anything, to accompany the cheekiness of laying her head across his lap - everything already swallowed and gone. Arthur props up his head on his arm with his elbow still resting on the door of the car, and the summer day's heat has made a sweaty mess of the hairlocks falling on his forehead. MC gets a good look at his handsome face from her new point of view, nuzzling into his hand that is still caressing her face. For some reason, they're both feeling giddy.

"So then luv, if we're done being a pair of horny teenagers, should we continue with our little joyride?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, we haven't paused for a bit!"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @kimi00twin @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @natimiles @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @groovylita @justpeachyteastea @ichigostellaglynn Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[daisychainfiction]

nooo now im sad 😭😭 how would the ros feel once the misunderstanding was cleared up, maybe from mc directly asking them for bug bite cream or complaining about it?

this is in response to this ask!

sorry this took so long. The start of 2025 has been ..........

It's been. 🙃

It's taken all your self-control through the day not to claw the itching bite on your neck. You knew you shouldn't have left the window open last night, but what did you do?

Yeah. Great thinking.

You find --

…Silas to be the first one in the dining hall that night, lazily bent over a book on one of the window seats overlooking the back garden.

"Have you seen Nadia?" you ask on leui of a greeting. "Or do you magically have calamine on you?"

He raised a brow, closing his book and leaning back to study you. "Can't say I have seen her or carry a super specific medicine in my back pocket."

You groan, hand hovering over the spot on your neck. "Then we need to fill in that pond behind the dorms and kill every mosquito as retribution."

"Retribution?" he repeats, a slow smile spreading.

"For me tearing all of my skin off."

Siilas' eyes settle on your neck and, to your surprise, he grins. He looks much too pleased with your situation.

Getting to his feet and leaving his book, he steps toward you. "I have some aloe vera plants in my room," he murmurs, voice soft. Pressing the softest touch to your shoulder, he adds, "Don't tear off your skin while I'm gone."

…Annika tending to the herb garden just outside the kitchen's back door, her hair gleaming in the rapidly setting sun. She gently touches each plant, fingers the barest whisper, and the plants respond in kind. Leaning into her touch. Growing just a fraction more to reach her.

She glances up when you come through the door, her face a mix of welcome and discomfort.

"I'm sorry to bother you," you say, assuming she's uncomfortable with you interrupting the moment. "But these bug bites are driving me insane. Do you have some aloe or something? I can't find Nadia."

Annika looks bemused for a moment, and then she grins. With deft motions, she gently cuts sprigs from a few plants with her sharp nails, motioning for you to follow her into the kitchen.

She makes quick work of crushing her chosen plants into a thin paste. She raises a brow at you, motioning to your neck, and you dutifully tilt your head to give her access.

Annika smoothes the mixture against your skin with delicate, slow strokes. Her fingers are warm like sun-drenched soil, but the paste is cool.

The itching disappears almost immediately. You let out a relieved sigh and grin at her once she secures a bandage over the site.

"Thank you," you say.

Annika shyly drops her gaze, but her smile is wide when she nods and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

…Vardah leaning against the serving counter, watching the cooks moving about. She swivels to grin at you as you approach, her eyes lighting on the blemish on your neck.

"That bug must have really liked your taste," she teases with a wink.

"You're making fun of my suffering?" you snort. "Typical."

"Mhmm. Where's the fun in being sweet?"

You can't bite down the smile. "Sure. Do you know where Nadia is? I need something for this thing before I tear my skin off."

Vardah's lazy smile stretches, a little unsettlingly wide, and she sways closer to you. "I can fix it for you."

You raise a brow. "By tearing my skin off for me?"

She laughs, the sound rich and low. "Well, that. But I was thinking of something a bit more… pleasurable."

You can't help the little chill that shudders down your spine. "That's… vague."

"Do you trust me?" she asks.

That is a loaded question. "Are we still talking about the bug bite?"

Vardah steps even closer, a hand hovering behind your neck as if to pull you closer. As if to kiss you. "For now."

You nod, heart in your throat. The woman grins that sharp, alien grin and pulls you to her.

Her mouth presses against the bite; a flare of sharp, hot pain lances through the site before it's blissfully… normal. Warm from her lips and breath, not a hint of the bug bite left.

You touch the spot when she pulls back, a bit lightheaded.

The bite is gone.

"There!" Vardah grins. "Told you I could fix it!"

…Jordan watching the back garden through one of the bay windows. They angle their body toward you but don't look away from whatever they're studying. "You're earlier than usual."

You groan a little, sitting at the long table. "I've been looking everywhere for Nadia. I need something for this bug bite, or I will literally go insane."

This does make Jordan glance at you. Their eyes flick from your face to the blemish on your neck. Per usual, their expression doesn't shift from boredom, but their lips tilt a little.

"You're such an idiot," they chuckle. It almost seems fond.

"Excuse me?"

Jordan sighs, leaving the window. "Give me five," they say, walking out of the cafeteria despite your spluttered questions.

When they return, it's with a small bottle of calamine lotion. They hand it to you, saying, "Crownie's Store."

You wince, finally remembering the entire wall dedicated to medical and health products. "Oh," you mumble.

Jordan snorts good-naturedly before jostling your shoulder.

...It almost seems fond.

…Hunter in the kitchen, leaned over an array of cookies that he's icing. When he glances up to meet your gaze, you groan, "Please tell me you have something to get rid of bug bites. Or make them stop itching. Or burn off my skin. Anything."

Hunter looks alarmed, then he glances at your neck and grins wide. "Oh. It's a bug bite."

You frown at him. "Yeah…?"

"It's just -- at breakfast it looked -- I mean, I thought --" he breaks off, wincing, and visibly decides to drop it.

Hunter clears his throat and removes his gloves, tossing them into the trash before moving toward the back wall. "I'm sure I have something."

He comes back with a medical kit, rummaging around the massive assortment. He eventually pulls out a small packet with acetaminophen and a second with pramoxine lotion. "Here," he says, offering them to you. "I'll get some water, hold on."

You apply the lotion while he does so, which is a mistake. Now, you are standing there with medicine-coated fingers and no way of opening the acetaminophen.

When he returns and sees your predicament, he chuckles. "Here, let me-" he grabs a clean towel from a drawer, wets it at the sink, and gently uses it to clean your fingers instead of handing it to you. It's oddly intimate, and you can't help that your mouth goes a little dry.

Only when your hand is clean does he seem to realize what he's done. He looks from your hand to your face, mildly alarmed. "I should have just -- I'm sorry, I didn't --"

"Hunter," you grin, reaching out to gently touch his wrist. "It's fine. Thank you for your help."

…Nadia cleaning, scrubbing at one particularly grimy spot on one of the children's tables.

"Nadia," you call; she doesn't look up, but she does stop scrubbing. When you get closer, you say, "this bug bite is going to kill me if I don't get some relief."

Nadia glances up and away, a muscle tightening in her jaw. She drops the rag and cleaner, wipes her hands on the kitchen apron she's donned, and mutters, "Stay here."

She disappears into the kitchen before returning with a small, unmarked tincture bottle. "Sit."

You do so. Nadia's hands are cool and shockingly gentle when she takes your chin and tilts your head to the side. Her motions betray her feelings for you, just like they have since you first began to gain her trust.

"What's in the bottle?" you ask.

She unscrews the bottle, the glass making a gentle tinkling noise as she taps excess liquid from the dropper. Her voice is soft, barely audible as she leans down to inspect the bite. "A mixture I make for the Initiates. It works better than anything you can buy. Hold still."

The first drop of liquid stings. The second feels like ice. The third soothes your skin in an instant.

You breath out a sigh of relief, expecting Nadia to pull away.

She doesn't.

Pretending to keep working on your neck, she whispers, "That will work for six hours or so. I'll come by your cabin tonight when the others are asleep."

"For another dose?" you ask.

She pauses, warm breath on your neck and words tickling your ear. "Among other things… If you want."

[kuzure-collapse]

I'm absolutely in love with ur lobro fic, its actually driving me insane. I just need more interaction between the mc and my darling neighbor boi. God i love that the mc has like that pathetic alpha male ish world view, yk? I think its fun to explore the more toxic and unflattering minds of certain men, yk? God i just need more of this fic.. i just wanna see more of the bad sides from the love interest!

Oh and i do have a question, how would the love interest react to mc wearing a maid dress. Maybe tomoe made then wear it and she stole his clothes so he has to run after her so he can change. I think it would be both hilarious and funny

since he's the first LI introduced, i had a lot of scenes noted down for tomohiro from the beginning. the challenge is just balancing it with the other LIs and making sure the progression is slow and natural.

i'm glad my story could portray a different worldview that people don't normally see in romance fics like this! i wanted to capture a "boys will be boys" vibe with this one and used interactions between my own irl male friends as references, both good and bad.

i think a lot of us women have this standard of perfect prince charming type men in a similar fashion to how men have a standard for perfect princess-like women, both of which are just fantasies. nothing wrong with wanting such an ideal, but i like characters with a bit more dimensionality and flaws. something more than "he's cold and emotionally constipated"

i do have a maid dress chapter in mind, but more for yanagi instead (and another one for kotose). Since I had free time recently, I wanted to practice drawing from one of the pics I saved in the pinterest folder and here this is. i feel like i always draw yanagi with diego brando in mind

You’ll know the context in a future chapter, but if you're caught up, you'll have a good guess as to why they're dressed like this lol

---

and yes, LI's reactions to mc in a maid dress:

Tomohiro:

very amused, immediately starts teasing mc and giving him orders

examines the fabric and plays with the frills, absentmindedly lifts the skirt as he's checking out the apron

"oh sorry-- haha"

flirts with you like you're a girl and asks you to call him master

had tomoe hide your clothes in his room

Kotose:

horrified, turns away flustered

"the hell are you wearing?!"

hates that a part of him likes the look

would offer to find you new clothes to change into

conflicted the whole time as he hears you undress

if he hears "i need help with the zipper..." he might die

Satsuma:

you thought he'd be judgemental but you've never seen this guy smile so wide, even sounds like he's giggling

his smile is disturbing when he shows his teeth

gives a nod of approval and expresses support for your choices, even though you didn't say anything

offers to walk with you in case you get attacked by weirdos for the way you're dressed

[ ~o((>ω< ))o~ ] [ o(*≧▽≦)ツ] above his head the whole time

Yumeki:

smiling and giggly, a little red, but not he's not feeling flustered

compliments your look and comforts you, saying you look cute and there's nothing to be ashamed of

"here, I'll take a picture to prove it!" to show you how great you look

it was more for himself though

"if you don't want the costume, i can take it" he would secretly wear it himself

Yanagi:

if he wasnt also in the same situation, he'd be snapping pictures and cackling

makes fun of him obviously, "who's attention are you trying to get?"

realizes from certain angles, mc kinda looks pretty. pouting and angry and flustered...

suddenly goes quiet and pokerfaced as he realizes he just found you attractive, turns and walks away, totally ignoring you

cant find the motivation to delete the photos and vids though

[darkbluekies]

what would ocs do if mc got arrested for speeding after trying to escape

Warnings: threats, handcuffs, chains, humiliation?, manipulation, gaslightning?

Silas:

He’ll have a field day with this one. He won’t even be mad as he walks into the jail, on the contrary — he’ll laugh. With his hands in his pockets, you trapped in front of him and having bailed you out, he can’t do anything but mock you. He’ll get into your cell and run his hand through your hair in a demeaning way. He loves to see you shrink under his touch. 

“My poor little idiot, I think you dropped something when you ran away from me. What, you ask? Your fucking brain. How stupid can one be to get caught by the cops? I’ve bailed you out, now let’s go home, I’ll teach you yet another lesson of what happens when you try to run away from me since the last five didn’t seem to work.”

Dr Kry: 

He’ll be able to convince the police to let him handle you. You’re clearly not well. You don’t need to go to jail, you need to be taken to a medical facility … like his hospital. He loves that you’re trying to tell the police that it’s where you ran away from … it only makes you look more and more insane. As soon as you come back to the hospital, he’ll keep you cuffed to the hospital bed and remove all of his personal stuff from the room.

“Now, now, don’t be sad. I’m not mad, just worried. We both know you weren’t fit to drive a car. You should be happy that you’re under my protection or you’d end up in prison for both speeding and stealing my car. You’re quite the little criminal, aren’t you, my dear? Now I have to keep you chained like this so you won’t repeat it. You could really hurt yourself, you know?”

King Edmund: (there are no cars in his timeline, a horse will do)

When a frantic horse rose through the village, the royal knights captured it quite quickly. When they saw who was on the horse, they nearly fainted. They kept you in a clean room for the king to come get you. He’ll come twenty minutes later in a carriage, holding a chain in his hands. He’s furious, you can tell. 

“What were you thinking stealing my horse and riding away like that?! I had been thinking about taking you for a horse ride in the forest, but now I don’t think that’ll ever happen. It seems like you can’t act right and because of that, I need to chain you. I can’t trust you. Try to move with this heavy chain around your feet and you’ll find that you won’t get so far. How unfortunate … seems like you’ll be spending summer indoors. Come now, my darling. Let’s see you walk with those chains out to the carriage.”

Jerry: 

She’ll be laughing as she bails you out. She’ll laugh all the way back to your home and somehow, it frightens you. She never laughs when you run away … so what’s different this time? It tells you that whatever you’ve done, it’s worse than all the other times you’ve escaped her clutches. As soon as you’re behind closed doors, she collects herself and grabs a fistful of your hair. 

“You’re in such big trouble, baby. I’m honestly impressed that you managed to sneak out and steal my car keys without me noticing, but don’t think it’ll happen again. I’m going to put up cameras and I’ll be able to watch your cute ass as often as I’d like. Hah, try to beat that, you little shit.”

Hedwig:

You’ll be bailed out in no time and have Hedwig’s arms around your waist like a suffocating corset. She’ll shower your face in kisses before pulling you out to a car — not the one you’ve gotten caught in. Her chauffeur will drive the two of you back to her mansion in silence. Hedwig will lead you up to her room and sit you down on the bed. Before you have the time to think, she has placed something around your ankle. 

“What? Oh, that’s a tracker. Honey, please listen, please. I can’t have you running around like that. We’re meant to be together, I know it. I’m just protective over you. What if you would have gotten in a car accident? You could have- … you could have died. So this is just for safety measures. I’ve told all the staff to report to me if you leave my room and they’ll do their best to keep you at home. I honestly don’t know what I would do if the police wouldn’t have caught you. Seems like there’s a benefit of your reckless driving after all …”

[rinz-aspirinz]

Hellooooo everyone welcome to another episode of Obey Me: aspiRINified 🔥‼️💯 our motto is “An aspirin a day keeps Solmare away 💜✨🫶” don't forget to like, subscribe and *20 seconds long unskippable ad*

9: MC Micah!

Ramblings about them are under the cut!! Tw for suicide, self harm and nsfw!!

Micah (they/he) was originally created by a curse the demon brothers unknowingly cast upon Lilith after she was reincarnated. The curse fed on Lilith and her bloodline's soul and magic and eventually ended the bloodline. Sorcerer's Society later on took them in to raise them and get on Celestial Realm and Devildom's level at magic since Micah is, much like canon MC, absurdly overpowered.

Sorcerer's Society taught them pretty much anything that's possible with magic, leading them to develop depression. They have a strong sense of responsibility towards Sorcerer's Society and humanity but also tend to slack off and/or create problems on purpose to satisfy their need for something different. They don't like the idea of being in a relationship because they see it as imprisonment sooo yeah it doesn't get any better when more than 12 people fall for them aksovieoeo

At the beginning of the game, they're sent to Devildom by the Sorcerer's Society as their representative. They have a temporary amnesia, meaning they forgot everything including their own name. Lucifer named them Micah as a solution and when their memories came back, they kept going by Micah. They gain back their memories at the end of season one.

They freed Belphegor because they genuinely wanted to die. Micah is suicidal, the only reason why they're still alive is because of the Sorcerer's Society. The bandages on their arm are a result of self harm.

They're very sarcastic, daring, stubborn and cunning but also very loyal if they genuinely like you. They have insane mood switches very often as well. Their interesting looks draw people in to befriend them and while their personality often drives humans away quickly, demons find it even better; causing Micah to thrive in Devildom lmao

They're very popular with succubuses and incubuses! They're a musician and often perform with Asmo 🩷✨ they can sing, dance and play pretty much any instrument fairy well.

They have pacts with all brothers like canon MC and are in a relationship with the brothers, side characters, Thirteen, Raphael and Mephistopheles. Yeah we're going the harem route in my AU because my favorite character changes every five seconds and I love whatever MC has going on with the cast in canon aosocwodofke

They have part time jobs at Majolish, the Fall and Devil's Kitchen. They have allowance from Lucifer and Diavolo (secretly lmao) and everyone pretty much buys them anything they want but they still prefer making their own money.

They have a fixation with dissection and gore, they normally have the lowest sex drive possible but they think gorey sex is the hottest shit ever skdidetrskd

Having a whole ass harem leads to a lot of sex and intimacy so as a result, Micah is a very sexualized character. Asmo's pact mark being the only visible one is kind of a sign of that.

Feel free to ask me anything about them!!

[hackerqueen]

Shameless

warnings: sexual content, jealousy

a/n: it's short JakexMC fic, hope you will like it (some mirror stuff) ;)

He was aware of what kind of woman the MC was.

Namely, he was painfully aware that she acted on others like a magnet. Her unearthly beauty was complemented by her angelic character, charisma and sense of humor. She was a woman that men lusted after. She was the dream that everyone tormented by nightmares prayed for. So he couldn't help the constant inner irritation he had been feeling for the past few days during which he was with her and the group at the cabin in the woods. Everyone said that the search for Hannah would be more effective this way, and the young hack had to agree with displeasure. However, his ability to focus seemed to disappear with the MC, who seemed to have totally drive him insane.

They didn't have much time to enjoy each other's company as they tried to give their best to save his sister as soon as possible. They fell in love with each other at the worst time possible. But he couldn't help the secret glances directed in her direction. Nor could he hold back his irritation when he saw how often she joked with Dan, and her laughter echoed loudly in his ears. He couldn't contain his irritation when the MC showed up at the police station and several officers tried to flirt with her. And there was nothing he could do as he sat in the car with an earpiece in his ear, listening to their embarrassing pick-up lines and her answering.

However, his patience ran out the moment they found themselves in Aurora one evening to talk to Phil. How much he felt like breaking his nose with his fist when he saw his sassy smile and the words falling out of his mouth that were designed to seduce the MC. She, on the other hand, smiled and even tried to play his game - responding with half-words that could spark the boys' imagination. However, when MC sent him a blurry look then moved toward the bathroom, his legs steered him toward her on their own.

He followed her into the bathroom, which was meant for staff but there was no one inside so he locked the door. The brunette turned toward him and put her arms on her chest.

– Can you explain why you are looking at him as if you want his head to explode? – she asked, however, by the tone of her voice he understood that she was not angry

Although he didn't think about it, the image of his brain on the wall made him feel better.

– I already told you I don't like him.

She sent him a doubtful look.

– You are jealous.

– No. – he snapped out far too quickly than he would have liked – I'm not jealous, I'm being reasonable.

– I already told you not to worry about him. You don't trust me?

– It's not you I don't trust. – he rolled his eyes – He's almost undressing you with his eyes.

– He looks at literally every creature that has hips and tits like that! – she said louder, feeling the blood that filled her veins begin to boil – Understand that this relationship is purely friendly.

– You're naive if you think he just wants to be your friend. – he snapped out before he could bite his tongue – It seems that his flirting doesn't particularly bother you.

She clenched her jaw and sent him a degenerate look. Her pupils were enlarged and he also noticed that she was tense. She came close enough to him that there was no more than a few centimeters between them.

– And you didn't get the idea that I'm pretending to be nice and foolish just to make him trust me more? Just admit that you are jealous. And I remind you that I am not your property!

At this point he grabbed her firmly by the waist and turned her so that her back touched his chest. They were standing in front of a large mirror, hung over the sink, so they had a perfect view of both of them.

It was their first more physical contact, which caused the two of them to have quickened breaths and heartbeats and that constricting fire in their lower abdomens that they desperately wanted to extinguish.

As he gently pushed her hair aside with one hand to expose her neck, the MC arched her back, pressing her ass against his crotch, which made his blood heat up even more. He tilted his head and, still looking into the mirror searching for her eyes, placed a wet but still fine and tender kiss under her ear.

– My smart girl. – he muttered directly into her ear, and his voice was hoarse with lust

And that name made her completely wet and quietly moan.

It had been so long since they had both felt physical pleasure that they had completely forgotten how aphrodisiac it was.

Hearing her quiet, enticing moan, he couldn't control himself any longer and he wove his hand back into the back of her head firmly pulling her hair, tilting her back.

– You like it when I'm possessive, don't you? – he asked and she incapable of words, merely nodded. She gasped louder when she felt the cool fingers of his other hand on her exposed cleavage, followed by those on her hip and thigh. – Is it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?

– Please don't stop. – she blushed with shame as in such a short time the hacker had her in a position begging him for more. She had never wanted someone more than him.

His lips once again attacked her neck with brutal and powerful kisses that drew sweet moans from her lips and quiet grunts from his throat due to his sizable erection, which she felt perfectly. She felt him sucking on her skin creating a red marking to show everyone that she was his. His hungry hands squeezed her boobs, making her nipples harden. When he reached her sensitive spot near her ear and his fingers roamed her thighs, she closed her eyes and threw her head back, resting it against his shoulder.

– Spread your legs. – he said, but it sounded more like a command, which she gladly obeyed

Then his long fingers pushed her lacy underwear aside and the hacker moaned, feeling how wet she was. She felt him begin to massage her clit in circular motions which made her see stars under her eyelids.

– Watch yourself in the mirror, MC. Watch me while I touch you.

She groaned loudly, knowing that if anyone was standing at the door despite the loud music they would know what was going on inside the restroom. She opened her eyes encountering Jake's focused gaze in the pane of the mirror. He was watching her, devouring every last inch of her skin. He studied her body, touching her in an absolutely shameless way. He inserted his middle finger into her, feeling how instantly her muscles tightened on him. How much he craved to feel it on his cock, her wetness and tightness. However, he also didn't want their first time to take place in Aurora's cramped bathroom.

Feeling her impending orgasm, he curled his finger inside her, seeking her spot, and sped up the circles on her clit.

She came with a cry, his name leaving her swollen lips. Her eyes never left the mirror, and neither did his. She felt embarrassed by how quickly he managed to bring her to orgasm.

– My clever girl. You make me so proud.

And his praise when he adjusted her underwear and dress or when he kissed her neck one more time made her beg him for more.

And no one in the group was particularly surprised when the two announced that MC was feeling unwell and Jake would drive her back to the cabin to rest and enjoy the quiet until the others return.

[mowiwow]

for every call of your name, "i love you" (modern ayn)

post-deimortem era ayn route fic

The feelings of love that grow stronger with every passing day, the feelings of love that spread like wildfire threatening to consume the entirety of this material world. In this frenzy, the timelines feel like they blur together and confuse your heart and mind.

But in this timeline at least, with him, you think you'll be just fine.

notes: told in 2nd pov, but assumes the setting of "miss painter" (female, her childhood is mentioned, and lowkey more mc centric than ayn), ~3k

There’s always so much to think about.

When you see Ayn, slumped over in a horrible shrimp-like posture on the loveseat (something he bought shortly after the two of you started dating— his old chair was only enough for one person), you’re simultaneously filled with the most complicated and simplest emotions in the world. Sometimes he catches you looking at him with a faint crease in your brows immediately, and other times it takes him a little longer for him to drag his gaze away from the switch in his hands.

But every single time, he will notice your gaze on him, and reach out to smooth out the crease in your brows quietly.

Ayn doesn’t ask about his counterparts often.

In fact, anytime his other selves are brought up, it’s because of you. Be it the theoretical you once asked him before telling him everything, about what he’d do if he could clone himself, or the few times you ran to him to bury your face in his shoulder without explanation.

Each time, he doesn’t try to pry but rather waits.

You don’t know if it’s because he’s secretly scared of what confessions you might make, or if he simply doesn’t care, or what— but he’s always unusually hard to read in those moments. He doesn’t let you see his face but just holds you tightly to him so you can listen to his accelerated heartbeat.

He’s so cute, you think distractedly. He’s gotten better at controlling his blushing, but he can’t ever hide his rapid heartbeat from me.

When you look at your Ayn, your Ayn , the wounds left behind in your heart from other worlds sting a little. It’s dull, and you’ve learned to ignore it most of the time. But sometimes it comes back full force, making you want to almost rip your heart out of your chest to avoid the painful throbbing.

In truth, ever since the Spirit World, your mind has been in disarray. You were never someone amazing to begin with, but just a girl who had lost her family, and a girl who just wanted to be loved by someone. You just wanted to help people, perhaps in order to help the past you.

Of course, nothing is ever simple. The timelines and endless possibilities are always in the back of your mind. All of the tragedies that the lucky you have avoided, the different paths taken, the timelines with a hopeful future, or the ones meeting a grimmer end…

Something you haven’t told Ayn yet is that you sometimes see flashes of these alternate timelines when you fall into a deep slumber. You’ve often struggled with sleeping peacefully, but it’s gotten worse since then. On those many sleepless nights, Ayn quietly hums for you despite his usual aversion to singing. It’s only then that you can sleep peacefully, at least until the next night.

The many “you”s that you’ve seen are all very different. Sometimes you never ended up with Ayn at all, and instead were with another person whose figure you could never make out. The silhouette sometimes changes, but it’s never really clear to you exactly what happens in the other timelines. They all merge together, overlapping with the Ayn you know, and you often grow irritated.

Whenever you have these sorts of dreams, you’re always trying to find out what happened to the Ayn of that timeline. Or, maybe, you just miss him and want to see him and want to return to the reality you’re familiar with.

Very simply, you love Ayn.

It’s this love that drives you almost insane, unreasonably so. You often make fun of Ayn for being whipped, always going along with even your more outrageous whims even if he kicks up a bit of a fuss in the beginning. But truthfully, you think you’re just as crazy as he is.

Right as he finally lifts his head from the screen of his switch, feeling your steady stare on him, you whisper his name.

In turn, he replies with yours.

When you walk closer to the little living area, Ayn straightens his posture and sets the switch down. You raise an eyebrow and crouch down to pick up an empty can of cola from the floor.

“If only you could turn into a Roomba,” you joke wryly, dangling the bright red can in front of him. “Then, maybe your place would be cleaner— or, actually, maybe not. You might end up getting stuck on all of the things lying around instead…"

Immediately, Ayn’s expression sours. “Stop making fun of me.”

His fingertips brush yours as he takes the can from your hand, setting it aside on the small table next to him. He tugs on your wrist and you let him, easily falling into his lap. His mistake. You pinch and pull at his cheeks with a grin, eyes curving. “Making fun of you? Why, I would never.”

Ayn knocks his forehead against yours lightly, pinching your waist with his fingers. “Miss Painter, it’s not good to play dumb.”

A pause.

“...I’ll tidy up the secret base tomorrow. But it’s not like you don’t have a few things that you’ve left lying around. Some of your clothes are mixed in with mine. And you have some painting supplies that you’ve forgotten here.”

To avoid his scrutinizing gaze, you bury your face in his neck.

“Well,” you say muffledly, “I guess it isn’t too bad. As long as you aren’t getting cockroaches in here…”

“My places are not that dirty.”

“So you’ve never found a cockroach once in here?”

“...I think they’ll find a way into any place ever. It doesn’t matter what kind of place it is.”

You pull away from him slightly to look at him with some worry. “That’s not a ‘no’...”

As you start looking around the open base vigilantly, Ayn pinches your cheek and stops your rapid movements. “There aren’t any. You don’t need to be so scared.”

“Really?”

“...Probably?”

“Okay. Tomorrow, we’ll do a deep clean. I’ll take back my paints and brushes, my clothes too… I don’t want to bother a certain Mr. Pianist, after all…”

“No.”

“No?” you echo teasingly.

“You can keep them here,” Ayn says quietly, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You take this opportunity to thread your fingers through his hair, fluffy and soft. You’re pleased that the shampoo you gave him is working well. “Leave whatever you want here. It’s your secret base, too.”

“That’s sweet. But we should probably do some cleaning tomorrow. I never thought much about it before, but I don’t want to wake up to a cockroach crawling on me one day.”

Ayn exhales slowly, his breath tickling your neck. “...Do you want me to get a Roomba?”

“If you do, I’m giving it mechanical wolf ears.”

“Don’t do that.”

You can’t help but laugh a little as Ayn’s hold on you tightens, his voice full of complaint. “Why not? It’ll be cute.”

“Won’t it stop the Roomba from getting into tight spaces.”

“...Damn.”

After a second, though, you realize it’s fine, because—

“Miss Painter,” Ayn says in warning, pulling away from you as he instinctively senses something.

“Then, you’ll just have to wear the ears for it!”

“No, I refuse.”

“You’re so cute with wolf ears, though,” you muse as Ayn falls silent. “I mean, it’s not like I’m asking you to wear a catmaid headband or anything… unless you would prefer that instead?”

Unexpectedly, instead of denial, Ayn stares at you silently for a long time.

“Ayn?” you question.

“Would I be better that way?” he asks quietly.

The words are like a punch to your gut. Immediately, you backtrack in your mind and belatedly realize what you’ve said. Ayn seems to do the same and blinks quickly, lips parting slightly, unsure of what to do with the words that had seemingly slipped out by accident.

The two of you never really spoke about it.

Before then, it was easy to ignore it— the muddled stinging in your heart, the different versions of him that you’ve encountered. There was a clear line between Earth, your home, and the worlds beyond.

But the further the two of you venture onto this path with no return, the more Ayn will be exposed to the other world alongside you.

Here’s the thing you know about Ayn—

Many see him as the cold but handsome prince of the music department. Ayn conducts himself in a very distant way, appearing arrogant to many. He no longer leaves immediately after every performance, instead occasionally staying behind for just a few seconds to give a few words to the crowd, but he still mostly retains his cold prince character.

But this clingy, cat-like person is really just mushy inside and a bit of a romantic, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it.

Ayn will stick to you even during the height of summer, forcing you to push at his cheek so you aren’t dying of heat. He’ll pout and cause a fuss over it. He’ll sulk. He’ll show you the things he’s accomplished, looking for praise. He’ll often tell you about random things throughout the day. And if you’re busy working on something, he’ll sit down somewhere near you and work on his own things in the same room.

Admittedly, you do the same things. You’ll drop by his practice room in the music department at every opportunity you get, and you’re always buying cakes to share with him. Your sketchbook is filled with more loose drawings of him than you can count, and you like to often hug him from behind to see what he’s up to.

If you were to explain it to someone, you guess you’d just say it’s your guys’ way of making sure the other is still there.

You think about it sometimes— the level of attachment you feel towards Ayn. In truth, although you’re able to smile again, a part of your heart has been permanently torn out from your childhood and you can only try and grow around it with Ayn’s help. You think of the first time you spent a night at Ayn’s family home in Leighton, of the way he clung to you, of the way he often spaced out, and you think he’s probably doing something similar.

So, you really want to…

“Ayn.”

“Mm?”

“Ayn.”

“...Are you upset?”

“ Ayn .”

With some struggle, you get him to face you, and carefully hold his cheeks in your hands. Then, you smush them together.

“I don’t care if you’re not as capable as the Lord of the Night, or that you can’t do the things he can. I don’t care if you don’t have the same qualities as some other version of you in another universe. The one I choose to be with, the one I am spending time with right now, the one I hold in my hands, is you .”

You don’t know why you’re starting to feel a lump form in your throat, or why you want to cry— maybe because you haven’t slept well lately, so you’re currently more sleep-deprived than usual.

No, you know why.

You think of all of the other counterparts of your lover that you’ve seen, of their own tragedies. You think of your most recent brush with a counterpart of his, and your inability to do more for that Ayn beyond sitting at the shore quietly by his side, providing him a quiet companionship right before being the one to drive the blade into his heart.

It magnifies the fear you feel towards losing the Ayn you love, the one before you now. You think of the Ark World, of the blade you saw yourself driving into Ayn’s chest. You don’t know how you can handle it once, twice, and however many more times the world might make you kill the people you love, for whatever cruel reasons.

Childishly, you feel it’s unfair. Why can’t you just live peacefully with the boy you like? Why can’t you just live normally and well, with most of your worries being looming deadlines?

Why did your father die, why did your mother have to be taken away from you?

Why doesn’t it really feel like you can save anybody at all?

…Why is it only now that you’re breaking?

You thought you were able to tuck most of these thoughts away in a hidden place that you’d never touch. You know lingering on these things would shatter your heart into little pieces, difficult to retrieve and piece back together. You know that once you get started in this kind of thought process, it’s hard to break out of— the endless cycle of self-blame is only full of misery.

Maybe you were a bit naive for thinking you would be able to keep it all together. You thought you were used to handling all of this.

But, well, you aren’t really keeping yourself together right now.

Ayn covers your hands with his, gently lowering them so he can lean over and kiss the tears on your face.

“Oh…” you utter hoarsely, unsure of what to say.

He whispers your name with the tenderness that made you fall in love with him in the first place, his brows lightly creasing as he pushes your hair out of your face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you say fiercely, scrunching up your nose through the tears. You grab a hold of his shirt— a stupid shirt you’d bought for him on a whim with some random mascot character, for some reason he started to wear it around more as loungewear— and pull him closer to you. There’s a hint of anger in your voice. “Don’t you ever apologize. It’s not your fault, it’s—”

“But it’s not yours either, is it?”

Your grip on his shirt slackens, a bit dazed. The brilliantly blooming eyes look at you clearly, reflecting your entire world. You wonder how he can look at you like this, seemingly with no worries.

Oh, but that’s not right. His hold on you periodically tightens, then loosens, and his hands on your back are restless as they tap in a vaguely familiar rhythm.

He’s uneasy, too, you realize.

But, well, it’d be stranger if he wasn’t, as someone in a very bizarre situation.

He’s just him, and you’re just you— two normal university students who are trying to get through some residual grief of the past.

Ayn reaches over behind you, taking some tissues, and he starts to wipe your tears.

“I sometimes dream about different timelines and not just worlds,” you confess quietly, loosely tapping on his chest in the same rhythm he had been using on your back just a few minutes prior.

Something for you to distract yourself with. Now that you tap it out, you realize it follows the same rhythm as that piece you titled for him— World of Possibility.

“A lot of the time, the one I’m with isn’t you, but someone else.”

The hand cradling your face tenses briefly, the hand with the tissue stuttering. Then, he carries on with a quiet hum.

“I don’t like fate,” Ayn says suddenly. “It annoys me.”

He puts the tear-stained tissue down and wraps you in a tight hug, pressing his cheek against yours. The warmth spreads from his body to yours, drawing you closer to him. It’s a little funny, you think— it wasn’t that long ago that you were the one comforting him like this, supporting his body in the ruins that he’d created.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I… don’t like the idea that there is a world where we never meet, or we never end up like this, but that also makes this reality all the more special to me. Miss Painter, in this timeline, you chose to stay with me. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it?

I am the me of this world, and you are the you of this world. I am the me of this timeline, and you are the you of this timeline. The choices we’ve made aren’t from some sort of pre-set fate where we will always meet each other no matter the timeline, but a unique outcome created by our own hands.”

After a long silence, Ayn clears his throat, following his spiel with a mumble.

“That’s what I think. What about you, Miss Painter?”

Oh , you realize slowly. It’s more like, with every unique counterpart of Ayn I meet, the more I grow to love the Ayn I met in this world I consider home.

“I could leave, one day.”

You meet Ayn’s eyes, and you realize he’s just as scared as you are, just as confused, just as worried. He’s not once let go of you throughout all of this, and despite his words, you can tell he’s still anxious.

“I will not stop you,” he replies eventually. “You are your own person and not someone I can keep tied to me forever. But I— I will probably seek you out and ask for a reason. As long as I can hear it directly from you, and not some puppet, or some other person, I think I could accept it with time.”

He pulls your hand to his cheek, pressing his face into the palm of your hand.

“You’ve already given me enough happiness to last me a lifetime. These memories I have now are enough.”

The hand Ayn has pulled to cup his cheek suddenly starts pinching and stretching it.

“Ow—”

“What do you want? Ayn.”

Ayn purses his lips but meets your eyes honestly.

“I want to share a future with you. I love you so much that it scares me. I don’t want it to turn into the sort of love that binds and strangles. I don’t want to become like my dad, obsessing over safety and danger only, but sometimes I can understand him because whenever you disappear, I’m scared I'll be powerless to help. But I also want you to love me, only me; that sort of possessiveness... but I also don't want to take your freedom from you.”

Ayn falls silent for a long time, but not out of hesitance. He quietly basks in your presence here with him, and holds you in his arms in the present the two of you live in, for a few minutes.

You bury your face into his shoulder, holding onto Ayn frighteningly tight. Because it's not like you don't feel a similar paranoia. Fear. Your mind had been sent into a frenzy during the first white day the two of you spent together, when Ayn suddenly stopped replying and never showed up. And when Ayn had called you, only for you to hear the soft thud of someone falling and nothing else, you felt as though you had been plunged into an icy abyss and had to immediately find him to pull yourself out.

“I want to be someone who can stand by your side. I want to be a part of your story.”

“Ayn.”

“Yeah?”

“Ayn.”

“I’m here, Miss Painter.”

“Ayn.”

The clumsy boy in front of you smiles, normally sharp eyes softening at the corners in a way only you can see in this very moment.

He responds to your confessions of love in kind, murmuring your name.

“I think… for every world I visit, for each unique Ayn I see, I’m reminded of you and fall deeper in love with the you in front of me now. Even though it’s dangerous, and I’m terrified I’ll lose you because of my mistakes, I… also want you to come with me on my adventures because there have been so many wonderful experiences and sights that I hope to share with you.”

The countless figures blurred together in your dreams start to become clearer. Through the focusing lens, you see his silhouette as clear as day— as clear as the notes that had charmed you the very first day you walked into the music building, as clear as the world before you whenever you pick up a paintbrush.

It’s only in this unique world that these specific possibilities were grasped by the two of you. Who you are, and who he is, no matter what happened somewhere else in the universe— this is what has happened and is happening here and now.

“Ayn,” you say softly. “It’s a heavy burden, even when split between two people. It’ll hurt a lot.”

“It sounds like you’ve experienced a lot of pain,” Ayn replies simply. “So let me share it with you. At least we can complain about it together if it gets particularly annoying.”

You don’t really know about the other infinite amount of timelines, but you know in this one—

In this one, you’ve chosen Ayn and he’s chosen you.

end notes: this can kind of be taken as an indirect sequel of "still here" or at least i wrote it with this specific fic in mind

[malachiexists13]

CHARACTER/S: Xiao [He/Him]  MC/READER INSERT: Y/n [AFAB - She/Her]  PROMPT/S + GENRE/S: Kinktober Day 2: Piercings  ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP: Dating/Former Long Distance  REQUESTED BY: N/A DATE WRITTEN: Sept.30.2024 DATE POSTED: Oct.02.2024 WORD COUNT: 566

//TW:  - Cunnilingus, Pussydrunk/Soft Dom Xiao, slight Teasing, Modern AU, Emo!Xiao?

DISCLAIMER: This is smut written by a minor; someone under the age of 18. If that makes you uncomfortable, then please DNI.

NOTES: Note to self, PLAN KINKTOBER IN JULY NEXT YEAR, JESUS CHRIST. I thought that like… late August to throughout September would be enough time for me to plan and prepare. I WAS WRONG.

SUMMARY: That little action of hers did not go unnoticed by Xiao, however. He blinked at her, then tilted his head with a small smirk, “...Do you like my piercing?” he asked. Shifting forward slightly, he leaned towards her and placed a hand on her thigh– gently gripping it, as if he were already anticipating her reaction.

AO3 LINK: Silver Tongue

---------------------------------------------------------

“You have a tongue piercing?!” Y/n murmured in disbelief at the information her boyfriend had just informed her of. Xiao just gave her an indifferent shrug with a nod of his head in response. Y/n blinked at him, she wasn’t sure what to make of this newfound information. Not right now, anyway. 

“Can I… Can I see it?” she asked, hesitance clear in her voice. As soon as the question left her lips, she felt a bit bad about asking. Was that even something she could ask? Sure, she and Xiao were a couple. But this was one of the first times they were meeting in person after a couple months of long distance. Considering how the relationship still felt fresh to her– she couldn’t help but be anxious about what she could and couldn’t ask. 

But Xiao didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He just gave another quiet shrug and parted his lips– sticking his tongue out. And… oh fuck. Y/n already thought Xiao was effortlessly attractive with his arm sleeve bird tattoo, his red eyeliner, his captivating amber gaze, and those teal locks of his. But seeing that little gem of silver shining against the pink of his tongue… It was too much. And she subconsciously shifted in her seat, discreetly pressing her thighs together. 

That little action of hers did not go unnoticed by Xiao, however. He blinked at her, then tilted his head with a small smirk, “...Do you like my piercing?” he asked. Shifting forward slightly, he leaned towards her and placed a hand on her thigh– gently gripping it, as if he were already anticipating her reaction. 

Y/n bit her lip, feeling her heartbeat speed up at that little touch– and the sensual tone of his voice. She nodded slowly, “Y-yeah. I think… It looks good. On you,” she murmured. 

“Do you want to feel it?” He asked. “What?” 

Xiao chuckled, “Do you want to feel my piercing, Y/n?” he asked, leaning into her face with a teasing smirk. As if to really nail his words in, he stuck out his tongue again. Y/n’s breath hitched. Was he being serious? Or was he just messing with her? She couldn’t tell. But gods… how she felt increasingly embarrassed over the tiny sliver of hope in her heart that he was being serious with his offer as she gave a slow nod. 

“Mmh~ Xiao~” He could hear her sweet voice moan from where he sat– on his knees while she sat on the couch. His face buried between her thighs, hungrily lapping at her cunt. And teasingly dragging his silver jewel in the center of his tongue against her sensitive clit. Her sounds, her taste, the weight of her legs on his shoulders– all of it felt as if it served to drive him wild. He was intoxicated by her. 

But she was no less intoxicated by him. The sight of that pretty silver adorning his tongue only added to his mesmerizing beauty. And the way he dragged it along her soaked cunt drove her insane. She gripped his teal locks, small whimpers and gasps tumbling from her lips as his tongue worked against her. Xiao groaned, looking directly up at her as he grinned– then slipped his tongue into her entrance. Licking at her inner walls. 

…Oh how he was going to drive her mad. 

---------------------------------------------------------

Notes: New decision about the second half of these prompts– I’m gonna do the main ones first (for example, Day 1’s main is Disaster while Be Greedy is just additional) and then if I have time, I’ll do the additionals.

To: LIYUE Masterlist || Kinktober 2024 Masterlist || Alternate Day 2 || Day 3 || Main Masterlist

Tags: @loll82829

This work was written by and belongs to Malachi Exists. It is only posted to Tumblr and Archive of Our Own. Any other reposts to other websites are likely stolen and should be reported as such. Reblogging/sharing this work via links is fine. But permission to repost, even with credit, will never be granted.

[mageofseven]

ITS ME ONCE AGAIN, HELLOOO

After the vampire event, I'm thinking about like what if MC was the vampire? Thus, here I am

"Vamp!MC asks the Boys if they will let Vamp!MC feed on them."

Mammon ilysm and the Nestling With Birdie series is so good omg

Edit: This took three days to write so despite down below how I mention the Boys, sadly I was only able to give you the Brothers. Sorry, my ADD was fighting me so this is all I have to show for it 😅

I hope you like it anyway.

~

Oooo ok nice idea. I sadly never got to finish that event but I love vampires~

Also awww, I'm glad you like Birdie's series so much hehe 🤭

Okay so I'll write this with these assumptions:

Bites do not turn the Boys. Maybe this a human strain of the Vampirism virus they caught that Soli's immortal immune system is too super charged for?

MC is handling their thirst worse than the brothers did in the event.

They will be cured regardless of whether they bite and drink anyone's blood; the cure is simply time consuming to make, but others are working on it.

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Lucifer:

The oldest was the only House of Lamentation member allowed in the human's room at this time; his brothers simply could not be trusted.

He was the one to check on the sick human (kinda? let's still call them that) and make sure they ate their meals (they still needed nourishment despite their condition; food helped, but was never quite enough).

As the week dragged on, the poor sick human's thirst became more and more unbearable.

"Please." MC gripped the pride demon's shirt, trying to force him down to give them access to his neck.

Lucifer sighed and stared down at his poor love guiltily. He should have been more careful with them, more observant with the culture; surely then he could have prevented this terrible infliction from reaching them.

He raised his gloved hand to their face, stroking their cheek lovingly as they leaned in with tears in their eyes, nuzzling his covered wrist.

Lucifer watched this for a moment, lips pursed, before sighing once more.

"We don't know what my blood will do to you." He insisted. "So just a bit to push back your thirst."

And with that, he took back his hand, removed his glove and pushed up sleeve before offering his wrists to them

Despite their previous begging, MC hesitated and looked back up at Luce's onyx eyes.

"It's alright." He spoke softly. "Drink. Take some of the pain away."

And so they did. MC gently took hold of his hand and lower arm before bringing his wrist closer to their face.

That's when the Avatar of Pride saw it; his love's eyes glazed over and they licked their lips before biting into the sensitive skin.

Luce didn't make a sound, but did squeeze his eyes shut at the sharp intrusion.

MC took big gulps, ready to rid themself of this special dehydration.

Once he felt his partner's body relax and desperation dissipate, he took his other hand and squished their cheeks be his thumb and forefinger, guiding them off his wrist and forward to look at him.

With messy lips and a little trail of blood runny down their lips, MC stared up at him with this loving, drunk expression.

They giggled, causing their boyfriend to raise an eyebrow.

"What's so funny, love?"

"Luuuuci looooooves me."

Okay so apparently vampires, whether all, human based, or human-turned, get drunk off of demon blood.

This...an interesting development, to say the least.

MC leaned in and kissed him, causing the man to taste his own blood.

Well, at least MC was no longer in any pain.

Mammon:

Devil, it was driving this man insane.

Yeah, he knows Lucifer told him and the others to leave MC be till the cure is ready, but it just wasn't that simple.

That was his human sick. That was Mammon's partner in there crying and begging to be let out.

And he was just so supposed to stay away from her room still Lord Diavolo got that cure all sorted out?

Hell no.

Late at night, when Lucifer was neck deep in his work, you bet your ass Mammon snuck into his human's room, finding MC curled up on the bed crying.

"Heyy--"

Before he came say anything more, his poor human scrambling off the bed and rushing to his side, practically falling into him as they embrace their boyfriend.

"Maaaammmmooon." They cry out his named, stretching out the sound of it as they hug him tightly.

"Eyy, none of that." He hugged them back. "I made it to you, didn't I?"

"It huuuuurrrts."

The greed demon froze.

Shit. It's getting that bad already?

MC squirmed against him staring up at his neck with tears in their eyes.

Not gonna lie, getting bit in the neck sounds scary as hell to this dude...but how can he let his human stay like this?

He slid a hand in their hair.

"It's alright, I gotcha." He told them softly. "It's my job to take care of ya, ain't it?"

And with that, he pushed their head to his neck, their breath causing the hair on his neck to stand to up and his beat race.

Their cries quieted swallowed in anticipation as they leaned in closer and slowly licked up their boyfriend's neck, an apparently sensitive spot for the demon by the way he let out a small moan--right before they dug in with their fangs.

Mammon cursed, tightening his fist in their hair as his other arm wrapped around their waist.

MC's breathing became heavier during the moments they'd stopped drinking to breath and her drinks became deeper.

It didn't take long for Mammon to start feeling light headed.

Shit. How does he get them to stop?

"Ey, babe?"

No response. His body was getting more tired.

"Treasure, listenin'--"

MC pulled away, giggling, before suddenly both toppled onto the ground.

The human was too drunk to get up and the demon was too light headed, but at least MC was more than content to cuddle with him on her rug 🥰🤭

Leviathan:

Okay, the otaku knew he was not supposed to be in here

But this was his Henry we're talking about.

How could Lucifer expect him to abandon the person he loves? The only one who truly understands him?

Levi simply wasn't strong enough to do it.

He snuck into MC's room in the middle of the night and found them laying on the floor, softly crying.

At first, the envy demon stood awkwardly in the doorway.

Should he...?

No. This is literally his partner. MC needs him now more than ever.

And so he closed the door behind him and joined his Henry on the floor, laying down next to them.

He shouldn't be so weird about it; after all, this wasn't the first time they've both laid on the floor and felt like garbage together.

"Henry..."

MC reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Levi...I can't take it anymore." They whispered.

He squeezed their hand. The demon doesn't know a lot about vampires and the disease, but thirst is known for being torturous and is used as an emotional element in many supernatural anime.

Throat ash dry, body weak, desperate for even a single drop; that's how newly turned vampires usually feel in shows; is this how MC feels now?

Tears started to fill his eyes.

"J-Just drink from me." Their boyfriend told them. "Please...it's okay."

Slowly, the human brought their linked hands down at an angle that brought his wrist to their mouth.

At first, MC simply pressed their lips over the big blue vein seen through his skin, as if kissing him in apology before parting their lips and sliding their fangs into his tender skin.

Levi cried out, but didn't pull away; he let his poor Henry weakly drink from his wrist.

The cure was truly taking a while, wasn't it? The others swore food would be enough subtain them till it was ready, but MC looked as if they have been hanging on by a thread this entire time.

His Henry needed this; they needed this and Levi felt proud of himself for breaking the rules in order to help his partner.

The more the human drank though, the more tired he felt.

Should...should he tell them to stop? What if they need more?

Luckily, MC had enough restraint to break away and smiled at their boyfriend with half-lidded eyes.

The human rolled on top of him, causing their boyfriend to blush.

MC leaned down and kissed his cheek before laying their head on his chest.

"Thank you..."

And like that, the tired and blood drunk human fell asleep.

Satan:

Anyone who thought he was going to listen to his father was freaking stupid.

That was his Kitten in there, sick and alone.

The wrath demon destroyed half the living room when Lucifer made the announcement about what MC's illness ended up being and how no one was allowed to be in their room or anywhere around them till Diavolo had his people make a cure.

But it was ridiculous. The vampiric virus was just the human strain and therefore Satan couldn't catch it.

The blonde knew the pride demon was more concerned about MC's bites, but it's not like he's ever been afraid of his Kitten's bites before; now they simply have a purpose.

Satan was determined not to let his partner suffer alone, no matter what.

The man approached the door and undid the lock charm before stepping inside.

The room was dark, but the hall light was enough to show the man that the human was sitting on floor with their back to their bed, knees to their chest, and face hidden in their arms.

Satan's heart ached at the sight. This infliction was bad enough, but the blonde knew what was truly getting to his poor Kitten: being left alone.

The demon turned on the light and stepped inside before closing the door; MC still hasn't moved an inch.

He sat on the bed and stroke his partner's head for moment.

"Come here, Kitten."

"But...but I'll hurt you..." They sniffled.

"I promise I can take it."

The human poked an eye out hesitantly before reaching a hand out for help up.

Satan took it and guided them up to his lap.

It was nighttime so Satan had on his sleepwear, including a tank top that revealed his shoulders.

MC laid their head on his right shoulder and Satan rubbed their back.

"You can do it."

And with that encouragement, the human sank their fangs into the space between his neck and shoulder.

Satan winced, but still held his Kitten close and rocked them as they drank from his body.

His Kitten will be okay soon. He knew the affect demon blood will have on them in this state and truthfully, it was better than what they must have been feeling this entire time.

The man listened to them sip deeply from him, but also noticed that they seemed strangely more controlled than he thought they would be; they even pulled back before he asked, face messy with their 'drink'.

"Thank you." They smiled, buzzed but not truly drunk.

"You can more, Kitten." He told them, but his partner only shook their head.

"I just want you to hold me right now." MC admited. "Is that okay?"

Satan smiled and kissed them, unbothered by the blood.

"Of course."

Even with how bad the thirst is, it was the loneliness that hurt his Kitten the most.

Once they have been held and kissed to a sufficient degree then they will drink more; for now, they just need comfort.

Asmodeus:

Asmo told the others he was go head to bed early, that his beauty sleep was calling and so he had to say adieu.

Instead, he snuck over to his Dolly's room and slid inside.

There was no way he was going to let them suffer through this on their own; not if he could help it.

The room was dark, but he found the sweet human curled up in bed, under the blanket.

The lust demon slipped in bed next their partner and wrapped his arm around them.

"Doll...I'm here." He spoke softly, caressing their arm.

"Azzy...you can't be here."

"Of course I can. You need me after all." Their boyfriend pressed some sweet kisses to their neck.

The demon sucked on a sensitive spot of the human's neck, a spot he knew was their favor, causing them to release a little gasp.

Azzy broke away.

"See? Let me take care of you~"

In truth, the man didn't particularly want his beautiful skin to be punctured, but for MC, it simply wasn't something he had to think about.

The human rolled over and stared at him anxiously.

Asmo smiled sweetly at them before sliding a hand into their smooth hair and gently leading them to his neck.

The human was nervous, but first decided to return the favor, playfully sucking on a sensitive area their boyfriend loved, causing him to moan before sinking their teeth in him as gently as they could.

Asmo played with his Dolly's hair as they drank. His poor Doll. Being sick is never fun, but being sick with a nasty vamp virus and having to hide away, all alone in their room with a burning thirst?

Take your time, sweetie; Azzy gots you.

MC drank for a while from the lust demon, but also drank small sips, savoring each drop that slid down their throat.

Their boyfriend didn't mind this; they were being quite gentle with him and he loved getting the chance to cuddle with them after so long of Lucifer keeping them apart.

Eventually, MC pulled back and looked at their boyfriend sweetly before leaning in for a sweet kiss.

The two had another activity to catch up on, something the human was only all the more interested in from drinking from a lust demon.

Beelzebub:

Beel was in the the kitchen making his usual midnight snack raid.

In truth...his heart really wasn't in it.

MC's room was right next door and, unlike the other men on this list, he was trying to follow Lucifer's orders.

His Muffin was sick so surely it was better for them to get rest till their medicine is ready...right?

The more time that passed, the less this man was sure.

Beely missed them. He wanted to hold them close and spend their days together like they always did 🥺😔

That's when he spotted them: iced tweety birds. MC likes munching on those bird shaped cookies as they study.

...Maybe his Muffin would like a snack? Granted, he understood food wasn't necessarily what their body was looking for, but still.

The big guy quietly left the kitchen with the little carton of cookies and opened the door next door to MC's room.

"Muffin?"

MC was sitting on the bed, hugging the big orange teddy bear he won for them at the Devildom's carnival and when I say big, I mean the demon sees the fluffy bear and no human.

The human responded by hugging the bear tighter.

Beel stepped in and closed the door.

"I brought cookies."

He shook the cartoon for emphasis and to let them know which type.

"Beely...I...I...I can't eat anymore."

The gluttony demon heart was shot. Their illness must be really bad if they can no longer eat food.

The man sat the carton on the desk before joining his partner on the bed.

He pulled them and the teddy into his arms and held them tightly (but not too tight, he was very conscious not to squeeze them too hard since they're sick).

Suddenly, the human dropped the bear and climbed onto their boyfriend's lap, kneeling on his legs to raise them to eye level with him.

"Beel..." Their voice was a plead that almost crossed into a whine. "I'm so thirsty..."

"Want me to get you a pop from the kitchen or something?"

MC laid their head on his chest and whimpered.

"Muffin??"

"Beel...I need blood. Please. Please."

Oh. Oh.

Right. Poor MC has apparently advanced this far.

"I got blood." He said simply. "You can bite me."

"B...b-but..."

Their boyfriend pressed a kiss to their forehead.

"It's okay." He spoke softly.

MC stared into his purple orbs for a minute more and watched him give them a small nodded.

The human leaned to their left and demon bent their neck out a bit, giving their partner more room.

MC made a small test nibble in the crook of his neck before looking back to Beel.

Their boyfriend was still smiling encouragingly to them so they turned back and bit in for real.

Beel has a high pain tolerance so the man didn't even wince at the bite.

He kept his arms wrapped around his partner and gently rocked them and rubbed their back as they drank.

The gluttony demon was such a big guy that the human didn't drink nearly enough to make him feel weak by the time they pulled away.

MC looked back up at him shyly, their face messy with his blood.

He chuckled and wiped their face with his hand before kissing their cheek.

"Good Muffin."

Belphegor:

Yeah, Lucifer really didn't think his little rule through.

Not only was it stupid in Belphie's eyes, his older brother should have known he wasn't going to follow it.

Still, the youngest pretended like it was any other day and slept through most of it, as per usually.

When night came and most brothers where asleep or at least off in their usual nightly rooms, Belphie left the planetarium and headed downstairs to MC's room.

The human was laying on their rug, staring up at the ceiling with dried tears on their cheeks and red eyes.

Their boyfriend's eyes went wide as they hurried to join their partner on the rug and pulled them to his chest.

He pulled his cardigan back to give MC more neck room.

"Drink. Come, just do it."

"B-But--"

"You've suffered enough, Butthead." He pushed their face closer to his exposed neck. "Now do it."

MC left out a small whimper before bringing their lips to his neck and biting down.

Belphie squeezed his eyes shut at the bite, but otherwise made no reaction.

His former scowl softened as he listened to his partner gently drink from him, slow tears sliding down their cheeks as they did so.

The more the human drank, the less they cried.

Soon, the burning in their throat ceased and so did their tears.

MC broke away, finding their boyfriend barely conscious.

"Belphie? Belphie?!"

"I...fi..ne..."

And with that, the sloth demon passed out it and in truth, it made sense.

'Donating' a lot of blood can make any one tired; it made some of the other brothers so as well

But when it's the Avatar of Sloth whose done so?

Yeah, you have nothing to worry about, MC; it's not your fault.

Just let your boyfriend sleep it off.