#her boyf has said he wants a baby too

[theloveinc]

Also, that birth control thing, yeah nah, that stresses me out, I need security lol, give me birth control plssss

RIGHT?!!! and i'm def sympathetic, i know bc sucks but... using litch. NOTHING?????? and even just thinking that "cycle tracking" will be enough....... i can't😭😭😭

[chrissdollie]

Dad Bakugo x mom reader - I need more children in my life 😭✋🏾

def calls his kid "squirt" and "buddy"

in mY universe, he has a boy and a girl bc he needs the best of both worlds

CALLS YOU "MA" GOODNIGHT

we all know he wakes up really early, earlier than you even, so he's the one to check on the babies/kids every morning to see if they're ok :)

definitely keeps schedules of you and your kids days like exams, report cards, if they're going to a friend's house, etc

yk how most kids tend to be like "ewwww" whenever their parents kiss?? not ur kids nono. first of all, your son is the quieter one. not that he's not talkative, he just has a little bit of a hard time expressing himself. anyhow, his sister is very loud. but either way, they both think its sweet. your daughter even said something like "i hope my husband kisses me like that" once (when she was an older kid tho lol)

your son goes to talk to you a lot. he adores you so so much. but one day when he wanted to hang out with you, you weren't home. you were busy running errands while katsuki was at home watching tv. your son started crying and katsuki was like wtf?? eventually, your son grew accustomed to speaking to katsuki. as he got older, he actually talked to him more than you.

teaches your son how to be a man :,) katsuki knew he was bitchy in his younger years and he didn't want either of his kids to be like him. he taught them both manners and how to properly have a conversation.

little pitter patter of their feet ran into your guys' shared bedroom on christmas morning and began jumping your bed. katsuki groaned and rubbed his eyes aggressively. "it's christmas, mommy!" your little boy shouted. "wake up daddy!!" your daughter shouted in his ear. "alright alright you rugrats"

at your daughter's kindergarten graduation (idk if everyone had this but i did lmao), katsuki was tearing up and although he tried to hide it, he had to remain the strong one while comforting you while you bawled your eyes out.

p.s your daughter is the oldest

when she brought home her first boyfriend... ooo chile

i see a lot of people writing how katsuki would act up but tbh in his older years, i think he'd be a lot more mature. he'd greet the dude politely and treat him like he would any of her friends

btw lemme just say: your daughter is a mommy AND daddy's girl. she loves u both insanely

honestly while eating dinner with the boyfriend or something, katsuki would be very blunt and not pay too much mind to him LMAOO he'd be like "'tis is great, doll" as if you don't cook dinner every week and it's only when your daughter brings up how he wants to work at katsuki's angency, where he perks up

"oh shit, no kiddin'?" and you smack his arm lightly.

well this changes everything! he practically gave the kid his blessing. "welcome to the family son"

your son doesn't really care about them together, he just doesn't wanna see his big sis get hurt. lets say that your son is 15 and your daughter is 17. "so, bf/n. have you fucked her?"

you almost spit out your drink like a cartoon. your daughter is shook, katsuki's rage from UA is all coming back to him, and the boyf is scared for his life

you, katsuki, and your daughter have a little talk after dinner

"use condoms" kats stated. "i- WH- nono you can have sex next year." you corrected but ur daughter is like huh?? "wha why next year?" you scoff. "because you'll be a legal adult thats why." "no offense, momma, but that's really dumb. when did you and dad start having sex?" she folded her arms. katsuki shrugged. "like i said, use condoms."

you and your daughter gossip like crazy alr?? ur like the gilmore girls except you're married and didn't get pregnant at 16 (almost)

and this is nothing new to katsuki, he's heard u guys gossip trillions of times. but when he found out you guys talked abouy HIM TOO??

he busts into the room. your daughter squeals and runs behind you. "hi honeyy-" he shushes you, "you guys talkin' shit 'bout me?" "nope" you guys say in unison. "there's this other guy, uh.."

[astonmartinii]

i don't wanna be funny anymore | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem podcaster!reader

i don't wanna be funny anymore, i got a too short skirt, maybe i can be the cute one. is there room in the band? i don't need to be the front man, if not then i'll be the biggest fan

based on i don't wanna be funny anymore by lucy dacus (this song speaks to me, i love lucy (she's also AMAZING live))

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 341,203 others

yourusername: hey girl hey, new ep coming at you fast this friday all about rotting. as the twilight weather rolls in and it becomes the season of all too well, we'll talk about rotting, how we can do it right and how not to lose your mind this october (a cautionary tale, i've already lost mine)

view all comments

user1: my queen hands down five stars already

user2: the bag is so real and the way i know it's a tote that does NOT stay on your shoulder

yourusername: it's the enchante tote, shameless plug for my man

danielricciardo: you singlehandedly sell out my totes every time baby

user3: not this actual fan erasure 🤨

user4: babe be real, she has a massive platform and there was a direct correlation between the first time she plugged a tote and the fact that they sold out that day you guys just love being mean

user5: i'm mean cause i don't want some leech taking credit for dan's hardwork and his fans?

user6: he fucking said it? you guys grasp at straws every time so try and justify your agenda against her

maxverstappen1: idk what rotting is but i'll still listen to every second

yourusername: thanks maxy, though i'd say going on the sim for up to 14 hours of the day is bordering on rotting

maxverstappen1: productive rotting !

yourusername: yes, i guess your sweet little treats are trophies?

maxverstappen1: that would make sense (don't tell my trainer but i do enjoy the little fruity drinks from starbucks)

user7: yall wanna say we're mean but she's literally invalidating max, saying he's rotting on the sim is so invalidating to everything he went through when he was younger

user8: how did we get there? this grasp on straws has to be studied... from a joke about the sim to invalidating abuse?

user9: i honestly thank the lord for dan and max because they're so supportive no matter the shitstorm that yall throw at y/n everyday

user10: literally max is even listening to podcasts... real friends, i hope one day she feels confident enough to come to races

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen, georgerussell63 and 1,034,239 others

tagged: yourusername, enchante

danielricciardo: buckle up, enchante is going to the rodeo 🐎

view all comments

user13: i shall be breaking the bank

user14: dan so smart, he looks like a good boyf for including y/n but didn't include her face

user15: yall ever listen to yourself talk, you need to be put in time out for real

yourusername: we all know the phrase, save a horse, ride a...

danielricciardo: daniel?

yourusername: YUP

user16: ugh there are children who are fans of daniel, she's so gross

user17: do you ever get tired of doing all of that mental gymnastics?

yourusername: can't wait for the tote drop for this collection, yall WON'T be disappointed

user18: yes, i will always trust mother's tote recommendations

user19: anyone who carries that much shit knows what makes a good tote

yourusername: this one has survived two dostoevsky book, an unreasonably large water bottle, a laptop and microphone

user19: thank you ma'am

maxverstappen1: real love is dressing as a cowgirl for your needy boyfriend

yourusername: the things we do for love (i actually had so much fun)

user20: here y/n goes doing all the publicity, but never going to races, clearest gold digger attention whore wag of all time

user21: surely a real attention whore would go to every race to get the screen time and papped and all that jazz?

excerpt of y/n y/ln's podcast where she addresses her absences in the paddock.

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 412,349 others

yourusername: life recently lol, the enchante tote is taking a beating

view all comments

user24: she's such a crybaby making dan use up an entire portion of his interview to coddle her

user25: she doesn't come to races cause of people like you invading her privacy and being rude and here you are ... proving her point

danielricciardo: pretty lady i can't wait to be back in your arms

yourusername: waiting outside the airport now

danielricciardo: we haven't even taken off yet babe

yourusername: i know i just miss you and can't wait to see your handsome face

user26: dan must be saying this shit at gun point cause there's no way he actually thinks she's pretty

user27: are you clinically blind? cause we must not be seeing the same girl

maxverstappen1: the aperol rawdogging the bag, you are SO brave

yourusername: living life on the edge, is this that thrill all you drivers talk about?

maxverstappen1: i may drive at over 200 kmh but i'd never risk my tote like that

yourusername: is it worse that i have a jar of olives in there as well, one drop and it's so over for me

maxverstappen1: OLIVES? remind me NOT to hug you when you pick us up

danielricciardo: if you want that hug you gonna have to get in line boy

user28: she picks them up from the airport? that's so cute

user29: someone tell her the gross girl aesthetic isn't cute

user30: babe don't worry no matter the aesthetic you have daniel will never want you x

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 982,344 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: finally went on my bff's (no 1 in the world) podcast after i finally convinced her yall ain't shit - oh and dan was there for emotional support x

view all comments

user31: SO ICONIC

user32: ep on repeat forever, they're so funny

yourusername: for a man who hates podcasts, you were a star i think the memes hit you hard

maxverstappen1: i enjoy the PROFESSIONALS could you imagine doing a podcast with lando

landonorris: why am i catching strays

danielricciardo: i wouldn't say that too loud, i got about 20 texts as soon as you posted this demanding i ask y/n to be on the show

yourusername: oooooooooo the girls are fighting

landonorris: so can i come on?

yourusername: i'm sure we can schedule something

maxverstappen1: don't say i didn't warn you y/n

user33: ugh now she's going to whore around the rest of the grid

user34: for real wasn't dan enough? she's not even pretty enough to whore herself out

user35: you people have no reading comprehension cause you see how dan says yall are insane and yall keep proving him right

danielricciardo: i'm so proud of you pretty girl

yourusername: i love you cowboy

danielricciardo: forever obsessed with you

user36: i'm living for y/n basically telling all these insecure weirdos to fuck off

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 603,451 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: who was gonna tell me these cars are loud as shit irl

view all comments

user39: someone tell sky to stop zooming in on her i don't pay to her her ugly ass

user40: cry your heart out bro everyone else is happy

danielricciardo: oops i think you're my lucky charm you now have to come to every race ever sorry not sorry

yourusername: gosh i think that might be true - i'll be there! (but for real you are so so talented and don't need a lucky charm)

danielricciardo: i'm just so happy to share this with you, i love you so much, i'm sorry people have been so cruel

yourusername: people are passionate about you and rightly so, but i appreciate you protecting me baby

user41: imagine being this irrelevant and demanding protection in the paddock ... the audacity

user42: you finally came to the paddock and this is what you wore?

user43: she's wearing danny merch? if she didn't yall would have a problem with that as well so please just be quiet

maxverstappen1: i need you to come every weekend cause you're the only one drunk danny will listen to

yourusername: we had practice with all the wine tasting we did for his wine line

danielricciardo: i am NOT that bad

maxverstappen1: tbf it's usually him just crying about how much he loves you

yourusername: AWWWWWW (i also cry about how much i love you)

user44: gosh this is my favourite f1 couple

user45: hopefully now she has her dose of fame she'll fuck off

user46: HAVE A DAY OFF

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,451,677 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: as we're nearing our two year anniversary i wanted to say a couple things. one. i love you so much. when you came into my life i was in a bad place and you truly taught me to love myself again and how to love my sport again. you're the most amazing woman ever, the kindest soul and the most beautiful girl ever. two. i am so thankful for the support i have, i do not allow the disrespect some have given y/n. you guys have no real perception of relationships between athletes and fans. you do not have the right to comment on y/n in the way you are. you take extremely low blow and have the gall to confront her in public as well. do not call yourself a fan of mine when you treat the people i love like this. my team will now begin to monitor comment sections and will seek to block and report accounts doing this. thank you and i love you y/n.

comments on this post are turned off.

note: hope yall enjoyed!! i love danny and i saw the danny ric honky tonk this morning and had to write about him. i'd also had this idea for a while but didn't know who to write for lol. please listen to the song i love lucy so much and the song is so relatable xx

also anyone who has requested - i am working on them (but as per some questions in my asks, as for right now i do not write for footballers, if i become less disillusioned with the sport (thanks chelsea) this may change)

[imtryingbuck]

The Locket

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC!Theo

Summary: Bucky has to marry a woman who surprises him more and more as their story goes along.

Word count: 1,755

Warnings: angst. swearing. fluff. mentions of death. mentions of cheating (George and some woman) killing of men but it’s okay they deserve it.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

A week had passed since Bucky had taken the life of the three scumbags who shot Theo, Dot and Eliza being killed. It had been a busy week.

Michael’s daughters and son had shown up to Bucky’s and Theo’s house demanding that they put them up - said that they had nowhere else to live now, as if they didn��t have mansions of their own - they got mad at hearing that Bucky and Theo had been given all of Michael’s businesses and they started demanding Bucky to hand it over to Brandon. Bucky just sat there looking at them with a bored expression on his face, Theo tried making herself smaller the second they stormed into their home. They accused Matt of being a traitor by standing by the man who killed their mom but he just shrugged his shoulders. The second they started verbally assaulting Theo, Bucky and the rest of them pulled their guns out on them and told them that they best leave.

The next day Winnie rang Bucky and told him that she was finally leaving George, that she couldn’t do it anymore - being married to him and being humiliated by him anymore. Bucky went and picked her up from their family home and brought her back to his, when Winnie laid eyes on Theo she gave her a massive hug.

“You are just like your mom, you know? She was so beautiful, so sweet and kind.” Winnie says as she twirls a strand of Theo’s hair in her finger.

“Y-you knew my mom?”

“Knew her? Darling girl she was my best friend. Come and I’ll tell you all about her.” Taking her hand in hers she leads them into the living room, Bucky trailing in behind them.

“We met when we were seven, her and her parents had just moved to town and of course I wanted to be friends with the new girl, I instantly made her my best friend.” Winnie chuckles at the memory. “She was so beautiful, she had a laugh that was so infectious, she made all the men fall for her just by giving them a smile. She was talented too, drawing and painting, your mom wanted to be an artist! She also told me ‘Winn, when I become the most famous artist in the world I want you to be by my side, we’ll be rich together!’” Winnie chuckles.

“Did-did she? Ever become a famous artist I mean?”

“Sadly no, her parents, your grandparents may God rest their souls were horrible people, they didn’t believe in her and… well she gave up trying to pursue a career in the art world. She was a waitress and sometimes she would sell her artwork, one guy paid eight thousand for one!”

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know, neither did your mom but he gave her a check for the amount.” Wrapping her hands around Theo’s. “Your mom gave the money to charity, she said she didn’t need it and those people did. She was always like that, giving money to those in need.”

Theo smiled sadly at hearing all about the woman who she didn’t remember, hearing that she was the best artist in world - Winnie’s words not hers - brought her mind to her own artwork, her eyes went to one of her pieces that Bucky had hung on the wall. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course my dear.”

“The night of the dinner, Eliza said that you hated her because of Matt, why?”

“Ah that. I found out that George was having an affair with her, then a few months later she announced she was pregnant, she tried to pass it off as Michael’s baby but we all knew the truth. George was so convinced he was the dad but when Matt was born it was very clear that he wasn’t, a DNA test was done and it showed that Matt was neither George’s or Michael’s. Eliza had it in her head that I hated her, I didn’t and still don’t, she was just one of the many women he had.”

“Did you know that Jessica was sleeping with Michael?” Bucky asked his mom.

“Not at first, I knew she had a boyfriend but she never told me who it was that was until she found out she was pregnant.“

“Did she love him?” Theo then asked.

“She did but so did he, I saw it in his eyes whenever he would look at her.” Winnie’s hand went back to Theo’s hair, pushing a strand behind her ear. “But your mom loved you more than anything including Michael. She’d be so proud of you, and I know she’d want to be here right now.”

Several hours after that conversation there was a knock at the door, it was the police. They informed Winnie that her husband had been shot and killed, according to the police George was cheating with a married woman and the husband walked in, and shot George. Winnie wanted to laugh - the same as Bucky but they both had to act shocked.

Three days later they were burying him. Winnie wanted it done fast.

So there they were standing by the grave watching as the coffin was lowered into the ground. No one cried. No one wanted to speak. No flowers were put down. They all just gave a single nod to the grave and walked off.

It was truly sad, sad that no one even cared that he was no longer alive.

“Wanda where’s Theo?” Bucky asked as he came back from dropping his mom off at the airport, she was going to visit her sister.

“In studio.“

“Cheers.”

Walking up the stairs Bucky ran into their room and grabbed two things before making his way to her art room. Knocking on the door he opened it, his lips instantly curled up in a huge smile, Theo stood there in denim dungarees that were covered in dried paint - somehow she even had a splotch of blue paint on her back. Her hair was up in a messy bun a few strands covering her face as the brush glided across the canvas.

“Hi pretty girl.”

“Hi Bucky.”

“What are you painting today?” He moves to stand behind her his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulls her closer to him.

“Outside, it’s not finished yet and I messed up on the tree look.”

“It already looks amazing, I’m thinking we hang this in the hallway? And you have messed up the tree.” He grins when her head rests against his as he rests his head on her shoulder.

“We don’t have to do that.”

“I know but I love seeing them around the house.”

“They aren’t even good Bucky.”

“Hey! Don’t say that, baby they’re amazing.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“What do you want anyway?”

“Who said I want anything? Can’t I just come and see my beautiful girl?”

“Nope.”

“Cheeky. But I do have something to say to you though.” He spins her around in his arms and presses a kiss to her lips. “The list is completed.”

Theo frowns and shakes her head. Not because she didn’t understand what he meant but because she didn’t agree with it. The list that Dot had given to him containing all the names of the people who had hurt her, Bucky and his men was finding them and killing them. That included the husbands of Michael’s daughters. Bucky had finally got the last one.

“I told you to leave it Buck.”

“And I told you, no.” He smiled at her. “They had it coming baby.”

“They were-“

“Bad people Theo, horrible people. They deserved everything that happened to them.”

She knew herself that they had it coming but that didn’t mean she agreed to it. She was safe now and she knew that Bucky would never hurt her or let his men hurt her either. “I know.”

“You’re not mad at me are you?”

“No.” She chuckled. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Good.” Bucky winks before he kisses her. “I have something for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, close your eyes pretty girl.” She does as he says and he can’t stop himself for giving her a quick kiss. “Open.”

A soft gasp falls from her lips at seeing the necklace dangling from his fingers. “That’s beautiful.”

“It’s yours. Open it up.”

“Mine?” But doing as he says Theo opens up the locket a smile coming to her lips seeing a picture of her mom.

“That’s you.” He points to the baby in the locket.

“Me? How? I was never allowed in the family photos.”

“I guess your mom took it? Michael gave it me when he gave me the photo, I know that I should have given it you that day but I wanted to do something, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For keeping it from you.”

“I have it now.”

“Do you want me to put it on for you?” Theo nods and turns around, a huge smile on her face as the cold chain touches her neck. “There. Beautiful.”

“Thank you Bucky, for everything.” She mouths the words of the locket, a small smile on her lips.

“Theo I love you, you know that don’t you?”

“I do, and I love you too.”

“I-I want to do things right.” He pulls out a small box out of his pocket and gets down on one knee. “I know we’re already married but Theodora, I love you more than anything in this world, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

A soft giggle falls from her lips as she nods. “Yes I’ll marry you Bucky.”

Bucky slid the ring onto her finger and jumps up to kiss her. He tried to convey all his feelings into a single yet passionate kiss. He really wanted her to know how much he was in love with her because he was, he was so madly in love with her sometimes it scared him.

A little celebration was held at the mansion for the married couple that were now engaged, Bucky couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. Theo kept fiddling with the ring and the necklace.

Later that night Bucky carried Theo into their room, throwing her onto the bed making her giggle as she bounced a few times, he was quick to undress the both of them and take her apart in best way.

<Previous   Next>

Tags: @sapphirebarnes @bellabarnes1378 @unaxv @skulliecadaver-blog @mrsnikstan @sebastians-love @pattiemac1 @julvrs @undf-stuff @violetwinterwidow01 @cjand10 @angrykitsune01 @drdbnkl2008

[i-yap]

I have a Dick Grayson request!

I don't know if you do vigilante s/o but I was wondering if you did could you write how he would react when he finds out that the crazy person jumping off buildings with his alter ego is also his gn s/o? I always find the different takes on the reader finding out about Nightwing but I really want to know what you think his reaction would be?Anyways, this might not be something you'll write but I just figured I'd ask

Lots of love and admiration for you and your works

❤️

A compliment and a Dick grayson ask??omg made my day ( I promise he isn't my favorite I love them all equally)

Ive never really written vigilante reader..or even imagined one but I can try

Dick Grayson x vigilante!s/o

s/n- supername

"There's an armed robbery at the children's hospital on 34th" reported Tim onto the batcom.

"I can get there in 5" replied Dick.

"Take hood with you, he's on 39th " Ordered Batman

"I don't need a babysitter..especially not hood"

"HAHA, Ill be there as soon as I'm done beating up this creep who was cornering pretty girls" Jason says cheekily.

"wait ..I dont think i need you here hood, or even I'm needed..S/n got here first. She's tying up the perps as we speak"

"Unmask her Nightwing, even I couldnt figure out her identity and she has been spotted in too many crimes around gotham" said Oracle

"You can't passible think THE s/n is a criminal" tim replied shocked

"Haha timmy has a thing for s/n just cause she was caught buying rock shirts from the shady stores he loves" Jason teases

" NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS JASON, also Oracle is right. Best to be precautionary" states Batman.

Nightwing approaches s/n. "OH JEEZ, hi your scared me haha. Not that you're scary. You're really hot , I mean your partner probably finds you hot but not me. I'm just random vigilante...Uh anyways Ive called the police they're on their way so I think my work here is done!" You say hurriedly after spotting your boyf-nightwing approaching you.

"Well good work here s/n. But I actually had to speak to you alone. " "Me? why??"

"I need you to unmask yourself. Batman's orders . You cant trust me, you know I'm one of the good guys and we have been on multiple cases together. Plus you are kind of in my city"

" Well I- dick listen." "How do you -" You take off your mask to reveal yourself.

"I was about to tell you dickie..please don't be mad" "MAD? ME? MY SWEETHEART IS A CRIME FIGHTING ASS KICKING SUPERHERO! I KNEW YOU WERE TOO STRONG TO BE A BARISTA!. I mean I do wish you told me before" "I just didn't know how you would take it. You always talked about how much you loved our domestic intimacy and simplicity in our relationship and i-" Dick takes your hands in his "We can still have that baby, just because you are a superhero doesn't change anything. Youre still the best thing that ever happened to me and now we can even spend more time together as our alter ego. We would be a great power couple!" Says dick, pulling you into a passionate kiss.

"EW EW THE ROMANTIC SPEECH WAS GROSS BUT KISSING NOISES?" Yells jason into the coms

" NO DICK HOW COULD YOU, MY SUPERCRUSH MAN" Cries out tim

"shit i forgot to turn off my comms" whines dick

"NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS !" Orders Bataman

"Bring her to the manor once you have discussed the - the revelation. There is much to talk about" Says Batman.

"I'm Surprised Y/n is even real" Joins in Damian.

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT HAVING A PARTNER" yells Nightwing into the comms while you try to muffle your laugh.

"Well, I am no one to comment on your mental state NightWing, But it is questionable"

You pull away Dick from the comms before they all start bickering- and giving bruce a headache. Sure there was a lot to discuss but dick is the best batboy to be a vigilante partner to. He would be understanding and non restrictive and the perfect partner in fight. Communication is easy with him and he trusts you and gives you your space to be yourself. After all, its all these things that make him love you for you.

sorry if there is anything offensive i don't usually write gn!reader cuz I'm a cis female and I don't proof read. Also english is not my first language. Lmk if there's anything offensive and ill change it.

[kooktrash]

hey!! i just finished reading your new fic and it’s amazing thank you again for writing such a cool story. 🥺

i must say im #teamjk i mean yeah he has red flags but they don’t stand out to me that much? she‘s actually the manipulative one and is gaslighting him whenever she see‘s fit. i mean she has friends who make moves on her bf, leave her alone in a bar where she doesn’t know smn, don’t defend her when a stranger calls her names, is friends with people who hit on her but he‘s the problem? uh idk man i don’t like her at all. she’s too spoiled und ungrateful not everyone has a fairly tail story of a past and mind you he tried to be very attentive and be a good boyfriend towards her while she did the bare minimum and i don’t fuck with that at all so I don’t blame him to go crazy bc that’s what manipulative people do they try to spin the narrative around and act like you are the problem when he actually named some good arguments for exp; why didn’t she try to befriend his friends or get to know them? it’s not like he was hiding them and the way she choose to brush over her own wrong doings is insane to me. she admits that her friend made a move on her even before she got a boyfriend but she still wanted to act oblivious but gets mad when said boyfriend punches him? lol what would she have done if it was him doing it? acting like a cry baby i bet. anyways there’s just some things i don’t see eye to eye with her and im trying to give jungkook the benefit of the doubt to bc nobody around him actually tried to help him with his problems they would all rather only complain. so yeah #teamjk 🤭🩷

lol thx for enjoying it 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 but I’m ngl this is the craziest take I’ve ever heard 😭

the point of the fic is that oc ain’t perfect either but jk damn near unalived someone [very much implied], and he was the first manipulator when he deleted her friends texts so she could stay with him longer. not to mention jk never bothered to bring her around his friends, they said it themselves that they had to beg him to go out bc he only wanted to be with oc whereas oc wants to be with her boyf AND her friends. she had said he was over at her house nearly every night and that’s why she didn’t get when he got upset over one night she wanted to be with her friends.

and not once did she come at him for his past, he literally lied and kept it a secret from her until she found out via him rocking her friend’s shit 🥊,

oc has also pointed out she’s never been with someone LIKE jk so she doesn’t know what he’s ok with and what he isn’t [hence why she told him ahead of time she’d be out with sieun]

jk has no past relationship experience so everything he does is to the extreme

jk also equally [if not more] gaslights oc by telling her how good he is to her and completely dismissing and thinking over and over again that he doesn’t care how violent he comes across to people who are obviously a big part of oc’s life

oc thinks of it from a more matured perspective where she can be friends with other men and still be loyal to hers. if jk was around girls oc wouldn’t care bc considering how he acted with Sieun, it’s obv he only has eyes for her. adult friendships are mixed genders, ie so she’s not going to not be friends with a guy just bc she has a man [esp not one she’s known way longer than her man]

I hope this clears up some things <3

[slimesaurian]

im gonna go on a rant in a sec. I'll try to cycle back and edit the top here to cw the post but if it takes too long and I forget or end up missing some im sorry

so a friend of mine just got outed to her ultra religious parents by her fucking shitty ex. it really fucking sucks and I so badly want to [redacted] the dude who did it. It especially sucks because like, I befriended this gal maybe a year into transition and she was still closeted/figuring stuff out at the time but would ask me some stuff about transition and I was happy to help. My first "baby trans" of being a woman who was out.

anyways her boyfriend seemed okay on twitter, tbh was always a bit annoying but then again who am I to judge. Our interactions were alright and it was just neat having some moots. Then twitter shat the bed and I made a lil friend server on discord for people I liked. I ended up sending a invite to both cuz they expressed interest and unfortunately the annoying vibes from boyf were correct. Dude would ping her in the server to get him to respond to their dms and say a buncha yikes things. I think he even mentioned being republican or smth which wasnt a hit in the "leftist tranny" discord server. Mostly he made peeps uncomfy but I was hesitant to give the boot to him because of his connection to someone I liked.

Then there was one point where I was in vc with him and baby trans messaged me saying "hey be careful with what you say around him" and then sent me a screenshot after he ended up going on a tirade against her for expressing interest in piercing her nipples at some point

1: bullshit lmao

2: very clearly controlling behavior and an implicit threat

at this point, i basically just stopped interacting with the dude in the server. I very much wanted to kick him, both from the server and irl but I was worried about escalating things and putting my friend in danger so I kinda just bit my tongue. eventually they broke up and I asked whether she'd like me to kick him or not and she told me she I didnt have to if I were comfy with him. I still didnt kick cuz I was worried about retaliation but my man was on thin ice, especially because I had just settled into a new place after fleeing a controlling man so I was not pleased with him.

Anyways then I made a joke about being gay in my sapphic tranny server and he was like "Wait, you like MEN????". Honestly, I had never felt like you could hear a pin drop in a digital space before. Anyways yeah I pulled out the boot after that.

Then dude was insistent on vc'ing me to "talk about what happened" and wouldnt stop messaging me trying to set up this call rather than just explain in text. Honestly I got the vibe this was intentional, I've had too many HR meetings to really buy that shit any more. I decided to entertain him just to get him off my back but then he kept pushing me so I eventually said I'll think about it. dude kept pushing and pushing me over text for updates for the next three days where I honestly just fucking ghosted him because of other life shit. Eventually I caved and told him to give me some space because I needed it and he went off about "Do you see how thats better than no response?" and then went on to talk about how "this issue isnt that big in the first place"

At that point I just never talked to him again. I figured his beef was with me and he has no leverage so I'm safe and hopefully baby trans is safe. Anyways fast forward half a year and god damn this girl has blossomed in the presence of other folks helping her through this stuff (if you end up reading this somehow, love you girl 💗). Unfortunately she learns that shitty ex has told ppl she cheated on him and thats why they broke up (girl absolutely has been too timid to pursue anything since, this is 100% a boldfaced lie. But gosh you rly should ask alex out already). She ends up making a very calm post clearing the air about how this isnt the case and she didnt feel safe around him due to the threat of being outed (above). No @'s, no names, just a simple post.

And then her dad gets a text talking about every little thing that could be used against her, from her caffeine addiction (lmfao) to her not rly being christian and eats weed gummies. Oh and, you know, she "wants to identify as a woman and have started taking drugs for hormone replacement therapy". As an aside, the text mentions she's "been dating a man for a year now" and "have sucked a couple of dicks". but who's dick i wonder 🤔. Also she's "never liked women and is attracted to penises" if this werent so fucking awful id be laughing my ass off.

The text ends with "I'd suggest confronting [deadname] about this since they're clearly out of your control and could learn a lesson about insubordination and respect". Not rly being subtle there bud. Anyways, me and my friends have spent all fucking day making sure our gal is safe and has a place to stay and are emotionally supporting her and I'm just so fucking angry. Her entire life has been uprooted, her autonomy violated, her existence endangered because this fucking prick decided he wants to be a petty motherfucker. For the record, she has temporary housing and is safe right now, but she's going to come out of this with such deep scars.

I think the worst part is, is that he's got a lot of trans women friends/mutuals. He was practically bragging about it in my server. Other trans womrn are in danger around this man and his vindictive rage but I dont have the energy to do anything more than try being there for my friend and help her through this. I'm just angry and sad and worried and tired. I hate this man. I hate people like him. I hate the fact that he will more than likely never face any sort of consequences for ruining someone else's life. I hate that society makes him feel comfortable where he is. I fucking hate.

I'm trying so hard to not succumb to hate and become this jaded feral beast but it's just so hard. its so hard seeing everyone i care about in this fucked up world get hurt over and over and over again. It's so hard seeing all this violence and pain and choosing to fight back with love. Every time someone i love is hurt it feels like a chunk of my flesh is taken along with it. a core of my being is robbed because I need to help. i need to be there. i need to counterract the world. but its not enough and itll never be enough and ill just wear myself thinner and thinner each day until all thats left is my bones bleaching in the sun. but what else can i do? the rabid dog gets put down. i just want to be safe and help my friends be safe and i want us all to live.

i dont know any more.

edit:

I think one of the worst parts is knowing that it's within my power to hurt him back. Like, he's told me the general area where he lives in the past and it's honestly not hard to narrow details down from there if you're dedicated. I could realistically make this fucker fear for his life. But then I'd be one of those radical violent transgenders who dared to bare her teeth at the society that uses and beats and breaks and kills her kind. I have to rise past it. I have to choke this rising bile in my throat back down and be a good girl for a chance to be granted the fucking right to live. I have to sit and feel my heart break and break and break and break and break every single day so some smug white boys won't ever have to experience the fear of god for the slightest moment.

[highlifeboat]

First off, my heart was broken with the "Swap!Mel telling Alcina not to baby her" bit, please tell me they talk things out and get their happy vibes back. :( Second - I now really wanna hear about Mia and the wife from Crimson Snow. You may have given me a new ship and need to know this XD

Always gotta throw in a little angsty family drama, no matter the AU.

I feel like, eventually, Alcina is going to question Melony's sudden disdain for getting babied. Her daughter is just kind of coasting and sullen since it stopped, and it's worrying. With all the strange vibes between her kids, too, there has to be some suspicion that something happened.

She has a little private meeting with Mel and pushes the subject more, reminding Mel she can be trusted and all that. Mel, despite having every right to throw Max under the bus, goes with the half truth of "I've just heard.. people say some things about me." and how it made her think on how much time she spends around Alcina. She doesn't like being seen as a baby, or weak, or anything like that since she's arguable just as capable as her siblings. But when Alcina asks her if she's sure she doesn't want to be babied anymore she doesn't have a real answer.

Mel still likes the extra attention, and the kisses and hugs, and general motherly love, but she also feels like she should get some independence and responsibility. Alcina tells her they'll work to find a nice balance that makes Mel happy, and if Alcina ever goes too much either way to simply tell her. She's going to miss her baby moth and constant cuddling and whatever, but she won't deny Mel's want to have her own life.

A little bitter sweet, but they hug it out after and get back into their good vibes, even if it isn't the same as before.

AS FOR THE SECOND THING--

Listen, okay, so... Ideas are limited at the moment, but bare with me.

Main backstory isn't fully important right now, but the short version is Mia gets relocated to whatever snowy undisclosed town Crimson Snow takes place in. Gets a note from the neighbour across the road as an invite for dinner, say "fuck it" because she's tired of being lonely post-Ethan dying and losing everything (again). Ends up in Scary Ex's house, who quickly realizes Mia is NOT her ex boyf. Hilarity ensues, Mia makes friends with a demon woman, enter gay lady kisses. Y'know, classic tale pfff.

I will supply a little bit of headcanons, because that's the only way I can explain ideas coherently pfff.

The reason the Ex doesn't kill Mia on the spot, is because Mia still takes her up on the dinner offer/is actually civil despite... everything

Like, my girl saw the spaghetti on the table and said "I know this is awkward, but I brought wine and I feel like it's rude if I just leave."

Ex is initially confused, but after realizing Mark(the game MC/Ex Boyf) isn't showing up/moved, agrees.

This is heavily reliant on the idea that the Scary Ex only kills Mark in-game because he's running/hiding from her, and because Mia doesn't the Ex is chill.

A good chunk of dinner is Ex venting about how "I put all this effort into the holiday and he doesn't even bother to tell me he's MOVING?" and Mia nodding along and saying stuff like "Sounds like he was a loser honestly. You deserve better."

In terms of general relationship, lowkey they be cute

Ex drags Mia dress shopping all the time, for both of them

Mia always be complimenting her. On her dresses, and make up, and cooking, just showers this woman with compliments.

Ex has accidentally scared the shit out of Mia in the middle of the night before. More than once.

They do living room karaoke.

Mia might have a thing for women with sharp teeth and long nails.

The Ex is lowkey ecstatic to just be in a relationship with someone who doesn't call her crazy

Mia casually dropping how she used to be possessed too, except it wasn't by choice and now she's forever infected with sentient fungus.

Scary Ex being like "That explains a lot actually." and then never bringing it up again

Basic idea is: Local Himbo falls in love with Horror Beyond Human Comprehension

[castle-dominion]

c4x7 cops & robbers

castle: bored af Tho I like how he's with his mom at the bank not for co-signing or anything but just for... moral support?

MR: Richard, I’m a business woman now. I do not want your money, I do not want your signature, thank you very much. It’s the principle. Dp: No, Ms. Rogers, it’s the interest. RC: And I’ve just lost mine. Excuse me.

I'm watching this after covid, it didn't seem out of the ordinary At All to see ppl with masks. RC, seeing sussy stuff: Hm. I think this bank is about to be robbed. *robbery starts* RC: It’s not my imagination. It’s definitely not my imagination. I love how he Just Happens to be on the phone with the cops when this is going down lol. She's able to just call it over to her homicide team

Ok so I know This Guy & he just nods at castle's shh motion. Makes sense For Now. Castle should really put the phone in his bra or smth so he can have it still recording w/o needing to have it up to his ear obviously. If it was in his bra (which he totally has) he could still describe the scene (which is smart of him) Manager just has it on his neck? Make that four. "You a cop? (to Castle) You called a cop?" "No. I-- We were already on the line when you guys came in."

British sounding accent huh Love the different doctor names. My first thought was healthcare was so bad in the usa that they needed to rob a bank. How did he open the door I thought he locked it? He DID lock it the thing is right there! I guess it has some wiggle room. You know, come to think of it, those doors look lik ethey are made of glass. Strong structured & thick, but still. A heavy object a couple times... Love a good hostage situation. We've all seen Die Hard we know how this goes.

Man's right. You're homicide he's robbery. He's also very calm & direct. Not impolite but firm & short. (tho "missed your cue" was rude) Where's demming tho?

What if I raise my hand to ask a question? lmao acab tho I don't trust anything here

Ryan looks very s2 like. Blue shirt, tie, brown normal jacket. Espt looks bisexual with his layers. Nice to have contacts in emergency service units Bro I think the robbery people have this handled.

She's a woman she doesn't need to have a bedroom voice the robber is just like horny & straight or smth I don't think that keeping him calm is hard bc he seems like a pro. TJ: Yeah, I don't like that other guy. KB: Yeah, me neither. peterson: ?? Trapper John! Bro it's M*A*S*H! You should come down & watch this episode with us! He IS a pro Oh no now cap peterson thinks that he is beckett's boyf.

Wow what a jerk. Blaming someone for the bank getting robbed. Or well, for getting the cops here too soon. If the cops didn't get here maybe they would have left with the money & let the hostages go. Except the bank ppl said the silent alarms went so ok. Oh no don't tell me we're going to deliver a baby I like how she says they should let the pregnant lady go but the way she says it implies she's ok with being held hostage.

RC: Don’t worry mother. I saw this work on Die Hard. RC: Uh, Mr. Howser-- Excuse me, Doctor Howser. Why not just give them a cup behind a desk?

RC: So, why Doogie Howser? I mean there's so many cool TV doctors you could pick.

Was espt in ESU before homicide? What IS his exp?

omg he likes her <3 lmao the banker & actress hitting it off I wanted to check out the food at my new work before I start working there & ofc I ended up using the washroom & there was some sort of old b/w sensual film playing in the stall. it is not his box: how did he get the key? woah castle remembers which wall & row & column it was in?? & Dp knows the number??? Martha-?

Three hours sounds... reasonable...

it's me! I know morse code! ... -.. is what I saw but they kept cutting away. I also don't know numbers only letters. Numbers are easy I just don't know them. how DO you know it's him? It could be another smart civilian!

Martha actress moments Why is That Guy telling castle this? He was "in the washroom" during castle's secret message sal martino? idk I'll continue with That Guy (unless I quote). "you have no idea" WOW THIS EPISODE IS GOOD I don't make promises

Rick did too well, SM was supposed to freak out bc of the c-4 but rick calmed him down which was NOT the plan.

Wasn't gideon fields? Sus. KR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't go in there, we don't have a warrant and we don't have probable cause. JE: Bro, Castle's life depends on this. KR: ... Did you just hear that? I think I just heard someone yell out, "Help, police!" JE: (in a voice) "Help, police!" There it is again. Ah yes, dead bodies. Grody. & perfect for the homicide detectives.

I couldn't tell if she was dead for a week or she was just old... but then again the smell of decomp

JE: I don't get it. This is a little, old, retired librarian. What could possibly be in her safe deposit box that would be worth doing all this? KR: Nazi gold, cold fusion, map to Atlantis. JE: Hey, Castle Jr., could you maybe start thinking like a cop, please? (Castle HAS mentioned nazi gold) KR standing with That Booty: I am!?? JE: Are you? KR: It had to have been something huge that was worth killing her over, right? Hey, Super Cop, check it out.

Hug alexis, becks, she needs it, you might too. But hey, rick made kate promise to take care of alexis! & esposito promised to get rid of his porn collection!

Rick just do the flashing bracelet thing again. Idk numbers but (-.-.) ..-. --- ..- .-. is easy enough What is HER accent? cushions is a good idea <3 GOSH WHAT aT Least put him sideways so he doesn't choke!

told Whom to stay with her? Y'all never leave me a voicemail, please text.

it's legit not enough time bestie Send in esposito he looks like a buff firefighter paramedic

Trapper would know her voice. Bad idea. Love the double talking obv not a paramedic since she didn't know she could put the gurney closer to the ground & then raise it up once the fellow is on there UM SIGN LANGUAGE MUCH? Castle could have totally slipped it into sal's shirt

Martha should totally have just kicked everyone's ass & the hostages could have gotten themselves out on the fury of a mother There is a second T in twenTy kate That chuckle was very nathan fillion bc that's where the money is lmao Castle why are you revealing your hand? Just like tf2 for real just like rvb for real Castle has escaped duck tape before. Zip ties are easy to get out of

RC: Mother, I find I'm no longer satisfied with the customer service at this establishment. I think we should take our business elsewhere. Me: Is that code? RC: no just trying to be funny ig

Ron Brandt. Good thing I didn't switch names Were those guys wearing black before? & now they are covered in dust? or were they always wearing that greyish colour?

PUT AWAY THE GUN BEFORE YOU UNTIE THEM BESTIE mr: *shaking her hands with a grin*

They would NOT have messed up Captain Peterson probably is surprised with how good castle is, he's like "wow this guy really does know his stuff" Whose body parts?

Oh no are castle's banker & mother going to sleep together?

I like how beckett has a touchphone & ryan has a flip or smth

See? Castle wasn't supposed to calm him down Holy crap bad bruising I sometimes hate being a christian (what with being who I am) but right now I love it.

That Guy: Honey, I'm home. what a line Girl u should have kicked his balls while he was outside the door TG: Oh, no. Hon, you bumped your head. Ha what a typical abuser line. Disgusting.

*kept the cop's face in shadow*

JE: Come on, let's go pick them up. KR: Ithaca??? Why is espt just going on this huge road trip with ryan? RC: Even as a hostage, I help you solve murders. Beckett, I think…I think you have the perfect partner.

Poor alexis. Poor Ash. Long distance sucks.

In my binge watch I should have counted these. 8th time becks saved castle, castle has saved her 9.

The vodun episode with the purses & champagne, I remember that. The nikki heat murders were not a save, she lived you just gave her your coat RC: Won't be forgetting that anytime soon.

[therealvalkyrie]

Through the Mirror: Part 1

my body, my music

Pairing/setting: Detective!Levi Ackerman x Female!Ghost!Reader, modern!AU within the Walls

Summary: When you’re murdered one Tuesday morning, can Levi piece together the true circumstances of your death with your help from beyond the grave?

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: dead body, descriptions of blood, swearing, mentions of violence

AN: Welcome to my new series because I have no self control and can’t finish projects before starting others! Lemme just start off by saying updates may come pretty irregularly because I do have a lot of other WIPs to work on, but! I’m really excited about this idea and have a whole lot planned:) I seriously hope you enjoy. After all, who doesn’t love a good murder mystery? Drop into my DMs/askbox/comments/reblogs to let me know what you think! Be kind to yourselves and others. ~valkyrie

“Ah, shit! Hello!? I’m standing right here!”

The woman completely ignores you, stepping carefully over the puddle of blood and across your tiny living room. You cross your arms and pout. She ignores that, too. 

“‘Scuse me, boys, let the experts take it from here,” she quips, gently pushing past the two detectives and crouching next to your body on the ground. 

It’s ugly, but she’s probably seen worse, you muse from where you’re leaning against the door jamb. It’s only been lying there for a couple of hours, so at least you haven’t bloated to something out of an NCIS episode. Must smell horrid, though, judging by the mask the head detective has pulled over his face.

“So, you said the landlady called at about 7 am?” the ME inquires, cocking her head up to look at the detectives, nylon gloved hands held at the ready.

“7:07 exactly. Said a neighbor made a noise complaint, she came up to check it out, found signs of a forced entry, and called us.” It’s the taller blonde who speaks up, reading from an off-brand pocket notepad in his left hand. The kind you’d find on sale at Staples after Back-to-School season.

Interesting. You lean your head against the wall, eyes trained on the trio. You’d pegged the ill-tempered shorter one as in charge. Maybe he’s just the quiet type. 

“Hmm, alright. Moblit, get off your ass and come take the pictures before we move her,” the woman calls to someone behind you, and you turn just in time to get a face full of Moblit’s chest as he walks towards you. 

You cringe back with a “God, seriously?” to no response.

“Yes, sorry, right away, Hange!” Moblit hurries past- no, through -you, sidestepping the ottoman and the blood. It feels weird, like a strong wind, but not altogether unpleasant to have someone walk through you, you suppose. You look down at your chest to watch your misty body re-settle into itself before looking back at the group in your living room.

Were it not for the gruesome accents of blood flecked up the walls and your body riddled with stab wounds, you’d chuckle at how all four of them struggled to navigate the space. It’s cramped enough when it’s just you, fitting only a couch, a chair, a coffee table, your fern (Boris), and a narrow IKEA bookshelf. With the four of them plus a dead body, it’s like watching a freaking clown car.

“Sorry, excuse me, Captain, oh, was that your toe—?” Moblit’s struggling the most, having to move to capture different angles with his bulky camera. When he steps on the shorter man’s toe, he positively blanches, fumbling over himself to apologize while the ME laughs openly.

“God, alright, just,” the Captain pinches his delicate nose between a thumb and forefinger, then decides it’s better to wait in the kitchen. “C’mon, Gin, let’s chat in there.”

The Captain and the blonde detective both pass through you on the way back to the kitchen, but you only sigh and shake the tingly feeling of being incorporeal out of your fingers before following them.

“So,” the man called Gin takes the initiative, flipping back through his notebook and standing by the fridge. “I got statements from the landlady and two of the neighbors, numbers 303 and 304 down the hall. 301, directly across the hall, didn’t answer, but I got contact info from the landlady.” He pauses to read and scratch at his whiskery beard. “It was 304 who made the noise complaint, said she heard yelling this morning at around 5:45, and that she normally wouldn’t’ve said anything but it was, quote, the fourth goddamn time this week and I work the goddamn night shift, I deserve some fucking rest, unquote.”

You grin. Mrs. Sheffield was never one to mince words, something you appreciated when your ex-boyfriend got too loud and she took it upon herself to give him a piece of her mind. You catch a glimmer of a smile on the ornery Captain’s face above where he’s pulled his mask down before he gestures for Gin to keep going, keeping his thoughtful gaze fixed on the floor and his back against your countertop.

“Then after she called the landlady, she went to bed, only to be woken by us two hours later.”

“You said she called the landlady at 5:45 and that she works the night shift?”

Gin double checks his notes. “That’s right.”

“And she works at the hospital?”

“Yes, as a scrub nurse on the night shift.”

“But the night shift at the hospital ends at 6:30.”

“It was her night off,” you and Gin say at the same time before you catch yourself. They can’t hear you, anyway. This’d be a lot easier if they could.

Gin plows ahead. “But she says she keeps the same sleep schedule so she doesn’t, ah, fuck up her circadian rhythm.”

The Captain practically snorts at this, itching for a second under his silk cravat (can someone say pretentious) before settling back into a listening silence.

“303 says he didn’t hear a thing. College kid, looked exhausted. Said he was asleep the whole night after he got in at,” a page flip, “11 o’clock last night. Wasn’t much help, but looked genuinely upset when we told him about the murder. Wanted to know if there was anything he could do. Oh, but he did, uh, hang on,” more page flips, “He did tell us that he heard her and her boyfriend arguing a lot. Which is consistent with what Mrs. Sheffield told us.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” you correct into thin air. 

“A lover’s spat gone wrong, then,” Mr. Pretentious Captain muses. You huff in annoyance. A lover’s spat. If that’s all that this is written off as you’ll have some serious PD haunting to do. Chris may have been an angry, loud, disruptive manipulator, but he wouldn’t murder you. He didn’t murder you. “Any info on the whereabouts of the boyfriend?”

“Ex-boyf—!”

Blondie cuts you off, “Not currently, but we do have a name: Chris Henderson, works in admin down at the University. Lives across town closer to the Bridge.”

“Send some uniforms to bring him in for questioning. No arrests yet, tell ‘em to keep it friendly.”

“Right, I’ll put Dreyse and Bodt on it.”

“Dreyse, really?” Captain Cravat gives Gin an incredulous look. 

“Hey, she may look like a ditz but she gets the job done. And she might get him to let down his guard,” Gin argues, grinning. 

“Fine. I’ll meet them at the station, you stay here and make sure that mousy-haired dunce doesn’t fuck up my crime scene.”

“Hey, who’re you callin’ mousy-haired, short stack?” Hange actually sticks her whole head through yours this time, to butt into the conversation, and you shriek and jump away to the other side of your tiny kitchen, now sandwiched between Blondie and Shortstack. The latter twitches and swats at the air by his ear, as though to dislodge a fly, narrowly missing yours. You give him a weird look then turn back to listen to the ME. She’s leaning into the kitchen at an alarming angle, one hand on the doorframe and the other on the end of the gurney you assume is carrying your body. You shudder at the thought of being toted around in a dark, musty, humid glorified coat bag. Ugh. 

“—takin’ this baby”-she slaps the gurney twice and you flinch-“back so I can get started on the autopsy, Moblit’s staying to take more pictures and collect forensics. If Eld’s stayin’ here with Mob, does that mean you’re catching a ride with me, Levi?” The question is addressed to Captain Grump on your right, who gives a heavy sigh and pushes off the counter. 

“I guess so. I get to choose music though.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” she’s wagging a finger, grinning. “My body, my music!”

“How about my body, my music?” you suggest, following Levi. “I deserve it after the day I’ve had.”

Again, Levi twitches and swats aggressively by his ear, nearly hitting you full in the face this time. 

“You hear that, Gin? This place got a mosquito problem or something?”

“I do not have a mosquito problem!” and “No, sir, I don’t hear anything.” overlap in the air. 

Captain Levi only grunts, then starts spouting instructions, which Gin notes down. “I want footage from any cameras in the building, and from the shops next door and across the street. I want statements from residents both upstairs and downstairs. I want names, addresses, and numbers of next of kin on my desk by noon, and lastly, I want no one, save for myself, you, shitty glasses, and mousy-hair, in or out of this apartment. Are we clear?”

“Crystal clear, sir.”

“Good. I’m leaving you Braus to help and to show her the ropes of this kind of thing. Even though she’s on the case, she will not set foot in this apartment. I don’t trust her not to leave breadcrumbs in the bloodstains.

“Yes, sir.”

“I expect an in-person report before shift-change this evening. See you then.” Then, he’s sweeping out of the kitchen in pursuit of Hange and the gurney, leaving you to scurry after. As you exit your home, he shoots a young auburn-haired woman in a crisp white blouse and wool slacks a look. “Braus. You’re with Gin. Don’t go in the apartment.”

She straightens up from leaning against the wall with a jolt and brushes croissant crumbs off her front. “Yes, Captain Levi, sir!” It’s slightly muffled by the pastry stuffed into her mouth.

“Tch.”

It’s fascinating watching how Levi and Hange manage to navigate the gurney down the narrow, twisting stairs of your walk-up apartment building. They’re both clearly used to this sort of thing, communicating only in short phrases and grunts when they encounter an obstacle. Occasionally, you offer up a pointer and watch as Levi becomes increasingly irritated. 

“Watch out for Mr. Laslow’s cat, he likes to sneak up on ya!”

“Hange, do you hear— shit!” Levi hops to the side, narrowly avoiding the tabby tail as Tubbins McGee whisks past.

“It’s only a cat, Levi, dunno what’s got you so worked up today,” Hange teases, grin echoing your own as you chortle from the landing above them. 

Eventually, they spill out onto the sidewalk and into the bright mid-day, and Hange groans loudly, stretching with both hands on her back.

“Ugh. Remind me not to die in there, I’d hate to put someone else through that.”

“Boof, tell me about it,” you commiserate. 

“Noted,” Levi snarks. 

Hange removes jingling keys from her pocket and unlocks the ME’s van parked along the sidewalk with a beep, then opens the back doors and steps in. You follow, leaning against the cool metal siding to watch.

When they both load into the front seats and the engine turns over, you lean forward between them to listen in.

“So,” Hange starts, smoothly pulling out into the road behind a silver minivan. “I’ll be able to give you a more solid answer in a couple hours, but my initial estimated time of death would be around 5:45 this morning.”

Levi nods, staring out the passenger window while he answers. “That lines up with the neighbor’s story.”

“Theories so far?”

“Well, there’s the boyfriend,” he muses, lifting a hand to rub his chin.

“Too obvious,” you say dully, not bothering to amend the lack of “ex” yet again. “Next theory.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then mutter, almost too quietly for you to catch: “Too obvious, hmm? Next theory....”

You’re momentarily flabbergasted, hand falling through the faux-leather seat back in your shock. Can he actually hear you? You shake out your hand while it re-materializes, tuning in to the conversation as Hange’s responding. 

“—a little far-fetched, don’t you think? I mean, has there been any of that activity in this area recently?”

“Mm, I’ll have to touch base with Petra. If there has been, I think it’s worth looking into.”

“What is? Wait, go back,” you frantically plead, leaning further into his airspace. But Hange plows on. 

“Oh, it’s Petra, now, hmm? Not Raggedy Anne anymore?” Her tone is teasing, and she glances over to Levi for a reaction. 

He doesn’t give her one, just stares out the window pensively before reaching for the radio dial. The stereo blares up into an Oldies station, and you make a disgusted face along with Levi. 

“You listen to this shit?”

“Hey, my dead body, my music, sweetcheeks. Don’t like it, you can thumb it back to the PD.”

“How about my dead body, my music?” you suggest again, reaching for the dial at the same time as Levi does. Just as his slender fingers touch it, your hand passes through the whole front console and the oldies are replaced with a terrifyingly loud static screeching. 

“Christ, Levi, what’d you do?” Hange shrieks, lunging forward to punch the radio off as you remove your hand. 

“Nothing! It just went berserk!”

They bicker while you stare at your offending palm. “Huh. Didn’t know I could do that.”

If you can actually interact with objects, at least to some degree, and if it turns out Levi can hear you.... This whole thing might be easier than you thought.

[boopsterliv]

Hi, I’m new here, but I have a prompt for Rumbelle! Takes place in Season 2, this idea looks into Belle and how she deals with her trauma with being locked up and interacting with Regina. Worse, she tries not to let Rumple know how bad it all is.

(Ooooh! Welcome to the madness, I don't bite. The sharks might though :) Anyways, it has always bothered me how they never really addressed that in the show, but I could probably go on a rant about how much they hurt the Golds. I'm still mad about Neal. So, we’re going to use fanfiction to fix it! Fanfiction can fix literally any canon faux pas. The only reasoning I ever need is ‘because I said so’. Anyways, I’m rambling again, so have some lovely hurt-comfort! With my favorite pan disasters <3 Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38856489/chapters/101186409)

Belle was fine.

Really, she was. Why would anything be wrong? She had her freedom, she had her man, she had her library. She was fine. Rumple was busy looking for Baelfire. She couldn’t bear to stress him out more. He had his son to worry about. She was just his former housemaid.

She didn’t like naturally being this self-deprecating, but twenty-eight years reliving the same day in a small cell underground... It got to you. Twenty-eight years without an identity. Twenty-eight years only seeing one face every day, until the one day she was freed. What hurt even more was that it wasn’t a selfless act. 

The man who freed her, Jefferson, just wanted to get back at Regina for not holding up her end of the bargain they made.

Belle was never the star of her own story. She was off on the side while everyone else was having their adventures. She was helpless little Belle, unable to protect herself from anything in the world. And maybe that’d make things easier for Rumple. Cora was still at large, Hook wanted his head, nothing was really going well at the moment. 

Except their relationship, which seemed to be the only bright spot somedays. Especially when they were filled with seeing Regina at every turn. Sometimes she was really there waiting to cross the road or ordering a coffee at Granny’s. Sometimes she was a figment of Belle’s imagination, paranoia creeping up on her in unexpected moments. 

But it was fine. Regina wouldn’t hurt her, not if she wanted to keep Henry around. And she had faith she couldn’t be evil. Rumple had said he was evil, and after meeting Cora, Belle changed her mind on what the definition of evil was. Regina was lost, not evil, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t dangerous or uncomfortable to be around. 

Like today. Belle wanted to have some breakfast with her favorite person in the whole world. And Rumple needed to get out of that shop of his, so the two took the opportunity to get some food. After being introduced to Ruby’s pancakes, Belle wouldn’t be able to go back to normal bread ever again. 

It had the regulars. David was getting a bite in the corner on the phone, keeping his voice down respectfully. He saw Belle and waved, and she waved back. She hadn’t expected her boyf... lover to take so easily to David, but the two were friends. She secretly found it a little funny. Whales was having his daily three cups of coffee (and trying to discreetly check out Ruby. Even if everyone in town knew about their relationship, he was still trying to be secretive), Archie was feeding little bites of his croissant to Pongo, and Ashley was animatedly talking to Granny about the baby. 

“Belle? Darling?” 

She looked back up at Rumple, who had that slightly concerned look on his face he got when worried about her. A crease in his forehead and a soft frown, with those way too emotional (and unfair) eyes filled with questions but asking none. Belle smiled despite herself. He was just too beautiful sometimes. 

“Yes?”

“You’re thinking loudly.”

She laughed a little, and Rumple smiled in turn. “Just people-watching.”

He brought the coffee mug up to his lips and muttered, “Not much of a fan of people.”

“Trust me, Rumple, I know.” She grinned at him, moving to hold his hand. They knew each other, and Belle knew he was more into spinning gold than talking to other people. He didn’t mind her social nature, and she didn’t mind his introversion. They accepted each other, and she liked having that romance she always wanted when reading books. 

Except theirs was better. 

Except theirs was real.

“One coffee please. To-go.”

Her body turned ice cold at the sound of that voice. Belle was used to it at this point. Whenever she heard Regina, her heart would start pounding, and all the thoughts in her head would simply vanish. Everything in her body screamed ‘Run!’, and she bit her lip. She couldn’t run. That would worry Rumple, and from the look on his face he was already concerned. Belle plastered a smile on her face, even as Regina got her coffee and headed out. 

Suddenly her pancakes seemed even more appetizing than before. They’d buy her a few seconds to think of what to do. She could play dumb, although he’d probably catch that since he knows her tells. Belle took a large drink of orange juice to wash down the food she had just stuffed into her mouth and exhaled loudly, forcing herself to smile a little more.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how hu-?”

“Belle, are you okay?”

Her heart stopped for a second. She was hoping he’d wait until later to acknowledge it. But Belle knew her Rumple, and he wasn’t going to do anything until he made sure she was okay. She sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“If it’s bothering you, it’s not nothing.” He beckoned Ruby to come over. “Could we have the check?”

“Alright then. Need any boxes.”

“We’re good, thank you.”

As soon as she walked off, Belle felt his gaze back on her. Her cheeks reddened as he brought a hand up to cup her face. And Rumple wasn’t typically a physical person in public.

“Love, what’s going on?”

“It’s...” The tears were coming back. Belle was used to pushing them down. Crying in her padded white cell never helped her. But you’re free now. You don’t have to keep it in.

Ruby came back with the check and Rumple handed her his credit card. They had silently agreed to finish the conversation after paying, and in a minute, Ruby had come back, setting the card on the table and telling them to have a good day. 

He was willing to wait until they got to the car before gently moving his hands to hold her forearms, and Belle felt bats flying rampant in her stomach.

“Belle, if there’s something wrong, you can tell me. I’d never get mad at you.”

“Rumple, I know you care.” She took a deep breath. “And right now, the last thing you probably need is me to worry over.”

“What do you-”

“Regina,” she interrupted, almost spitting the name out. “I spent so long in that cell... I spent so, so much time alone-”

Her screams echoed off the walls. She needed someone to tell her who she was, where she came from, if anyone cared. Why was she here? Did she hurt someone?

“-and she’d taunt me-”

“Aren’t you hungry?” The woman with dark eyes was at the door again. The only person she ever saw, considering how no one else would give her food. “I’m your friend, after all. Friendship has its own kind of love, and true love... is the strongest thing in this world.

“-and I would have weird dreams-”

She saw a million things in her dreams. She felt her body shatter to glass, she saw fire surround her. Some dreams she had been married in a field with a man who had a blurred face. In some of the dreams, said man was killing her.

“-and I just...” Belle felt the tears now, and Rumple had moved his arms to hold her as her heart hurt with the amount of emotion she was letting out. She was so used to keeping it down for his sake. “Every time I see her, or hear her, I panic. I feel so cold and like I might combust at the same time. I see her even when she’s not there too. She’s always looming nearby.”

“Love...” He brought a hand up to gently brush some of the tears away, and she let out a choked sob. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’re looking for Baelfire. And Cora is still dangerous. Not to mention Hook... You’ve got enough problems without my pointless worries to thi-”

When he pressed a kiss to her lips, Belle let out a gasp, and didn’t get to say anything before he was pulling back and embracing her. She felt the tears come back. “Darling... Belle. Listen to me. I love you, and I love Bae. And I would never think of your worries as pointless. You mean so, so much to me. I would tear heaven and hell apart if it made you happy. I would scour the world for anything you could ever want with no regrets.”

Hearing that... hearing Rumple confess those things, when before he had been so scared of love, had her unconsciously hugged him tighter than he was hugging her (somehow) and dug her head into his shoulder. “I-I love you... I love you so much...”

“I love you too, my love.”

She felt emotionally raw, but there was also something lighter about her now. Belle felt the weights she didn’t know were on her chest lift a little. She (reluctantly) pulled back, bringing him down for a kiss just as chaste as the one he had given her a few moments ago. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” She opened her mouth to say that wasn’t his fault, but he just kept going. “And if anything is wrong, anything at all, you have all of my time and attention.”

“I promise to.” And so, she kissed him again, and he kissed her back, and everything was okay. Everything was better.

[grimbeak]

What would happen if Jay was adopted by that time dude?

omg Krux yes-

also this 1 is gonna be plasma bc it’s a kai season and I just need some good Kai n Jay interactions where the former isn’t hating on the latter- 

So, Krux also went after Libber because she was just generally annoying and also he hated technology and wanted to get rid of anything that might power it 

Thing is... Libber was seriously preggo, and being the dumbass he is Krux didn’t know how to deal with that so he just let her have the baby, thought ‘oh look a human weapon i can use this’ and kidnapped surprise adopted bby Jay after killing Libber. Rip. 

Fast-forward seventeen years, Jay’s working at his ‘uncle’s’ museum. Whenever the ninja come over, he’s usually told to work in the back (Krux doesn’t want any of them to figure it out), but sometimes he sneaks out to go hang with them even though he secretly hates them all. 

Krux has told him about his plans, what happened with the other elemental masters, but it’s his own twisted version of it that makes it look like he’s in the right. Also, he told Jay that Libber was his sister and she dropped Bby Jay off somewhere for him to die, but Krux found him just in time. 

Jay also has to wear vengestone cuffs whenever he’s working/going out (which Krux rarely lets him do) to make sure no one sees his powers. 

Also I don’t believe that Wu has ever been to that museum in his life so he didn’t realize that Libber’s son was right that or that Krux was right there. 

Jay and Kai have been play-flirting with each other for years now (Kai’s was def real, Jay was faking it but he’s starting to not believe that but he can’t tell Krux otherwise Krux’ll be pissed), and basically all the ninja have just been hounding Kai to ask Jay out. 

But the season starts before that happens. 

Krux has told Jay ab Acronix, Acronix shows up, Jay and Acronix bond over not knowing shit ab technology (Jay was never really allowed to use it), also the fact that Acronix is a lot nicer to him than Krux is. 

For context, Krux is very emotionally abusive and a bit physically as well, because he’s an asshole. 

Acronix does not approve of his brother’s methods. 

So, onward goes the season. I don’t remember all that much ab it, so Ima just go off my memor- oh yeah the wiki exists right

Jay’s not allowed to help with the whole kidnapping Borg thing, in case he gets recognized. He thinks the snake things are very cool.

Acronix thinks Borg is cute because futureshipping is canon here. Jay decides to help his new uncle get a date despite the said date being kidnapped by them. 

Kai goes to the museum, Jay’s there to help him while Krux does Adult Things (taking over the world and dealing with snake idiots). Jay does not help him. Jay tries to fight him. With lightning! Kai realizes this is the lightning master they were told about. Worrying. 

Krux shows up like 30 seconds into their fight and is like ‘alr wtf’ and fights Kai. Kai is informed that his parents are traitors. Nya shows up to see a child and an old man beating up her brother, hoses them both. Jay does not like being hosed, thank you very much. Interferes with his lightning. Makes him sneeze. 

Krux, Acronix, Jay, and Borg get away. Kai has to deal with the fact that his parents were (apparently) traitors. 

Jay thinks ab Kai, and does his best to push down the feelings for him that he definitely has. 

Kai does the same.

Wu’s dying, no one actually cares except they do for some stupid reason. Ugh, feelings. 

When they go to get the timeblade Jay goes with Blunck and Raggmunk to supervise. 

...They still lose it. Krux is angry at Jay and an asshole to him. 

How the ninja get the timeblade without Jay? Dunno, Lloyd just runs really fast. 

,,,K so pretty much nothing important happens with Jay for the next few episodes so-

Skip forward to when Kai’s barging in on his parents, they do the whole ‘we;re not dead or evil you fucking idiot’ thing. Jay bursts in a few moments later, he’s attacking Kai, Nya, Ray, and Maya.

At this point Jay’s had a few conversations with Wu when he was guarding the old man, Wu’s pretty much stated that ‘hey you were supposed to be in multiple prophecies but you weren’t so we had to do it ourselves, after all this is over i can teach you stuff bcuz krux is kinda an asshole to you’.

Ray and Maya know that Libber’s dead and was killed by Krux, but Jay was always kept away from them. They tell him now, with a note from Libber to him for proof.

...Jay really doesn’t know how to feel right now. 

He runs off to Krux while Kai and the others do their whole thing, Krux is finishing up doing smthn before getting to the time-travel-dragon thing. 

Here’s how it goes:

J, bursting into K’s shop and shoving the note towards him: “This isn’t true, right? Tell me it isn’t true.” 

K, skimming the note: “What is thi-” He goes silent. 

J: “...No. No, you’re lying. It’s not true, right?”

K: “You were never supposed to find out.”

J: “You lied to me! You said she abandoned me, not that you killed her! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” 

K: “It was necessary. She was on the wrong side, I had you under my control.”

J: “You killed my mother, you fucking-” K hits him hard across the side of the face, and J flinches as he stumbles back. J goes silent.  

K: “Shut. Up. You’re being ridiculous, I raised you. I am your protector, you are my successor.” He puts his arm around J, who is still silent.

J, shrugging off K’s arm: “No. I’m. NOT!” He shoots a bolt of lightning at K, knocking the old man back across the room and into some shelves, which collapse on top of him. 

J: Pants for a moment, before his eyes go wide. “Kai.” He turns, running out of the room. “KAI!” 

annd that’s it for that segment

wow family drama

Also Jay’s had a few moments throughout the season where Kai and he were... close in more ways than one so he is very in love. 

Acronix isn’t going on the dragon thing bcuz he is too gay and in love with Borg so 

Krux gets the last timeblade after kidnapping the Smith family and also Wu, Jay has to assure the other ninja ‘hey so im on ur side now and very bi for kai where is he by the way’

No idea how Krux got there in time. Probably used a gold cart or smthn, 

Krux goes back in time with Nya, Kai, and Wu, while Acronix and Borg are in love elsewhere. Jay bonds with the rest of the ninja as Ray dies next to them. Fun times. 

Krux is stopped, things happens, plasma kiss. Yay. 

annnd,,, that’s it. 

...

Oh yeah and Jay lives with his nicer uncle and his very smart boyf in said boyf’s tower of electronics 

[fmsaints]

            (  1  /  2  )  not  me  being  late  because  i  was  washing  dishes  and  making  dog  food  ...  yikes  .  at  this  rate  ,  i’ll  be  late  to  my  own  funeral  .  nonetheless  ,  i’m  kofi  ,  in  my  jordan  year  ,  reside  in  the  est  tz  ,  and  prefer  either  she  /  her  or  they  /  them  pronouns  !  here  is  my  sweet  (  lie  )  boy  saint  ,  and  he’s  an  updated  version  of  a  muse  i  played  for  a  little  while  i  believe  about  a  year  ago  ,  and  he’s  truly  the  loml  !  that  being  said  ,  here’s  everything  to  know  about  saint  and  i  promise  to  try  and  keep  it  short  !

            ✼:♡*ﾟ✿ ↝  hwang  hyunjin  .  cis  man  .  he  /  him  .  ／  seungho  ‘saint’  yoon  is  blasting  pink  +  white  by  frank  ocean  again  …  ugh  ,  i  swear  they  play  that  song  every  single  day  !  you’d  think  they’d  learn  how  to  pipe  down  .  oh  ,  you  don’t  know  them  ?  they  live  in  apartment  3D  .  i  haven’t  talked  to  them  much  ,  but  i  know  that  they’re  twenty  one  years  old  ,  and  that  they’ve  been  living  in  the  complex  for  three  years  .  i  always  run  into  them  when  they’re  coming  back  home  from  sweet  stems  ,  and  they  seem  really  beguiling  and  timorous  .  maybe  you’ll  have  better  luck  with  the  gemini  than  i  do  .

trigger  warnings  :  detailed  talk  of  religion  ,  minor  mentions  of  death  ,  and  sugaring  .

001  .  STATISTICS  . 

            name  :  seongho  ‘  saint  ’  yoon  .  nicknames  :  none  ,  unless  given  by  someone  else  .  date  of  birth  :  june  9th,  1999  .  zodiac  :  gemini  .  birthplace  :   montreal  ,  québec  ,  canada  .  current  location  :  vancouver  ,  british  columbia  .  languages  spoken  (  in  order  of  learning  )  :  korean  ,  french  &  english  .  love  language  :  words  of  affirmation  &  quality  time  .  height  :  5′10″  .  father  :  yoon  han - gyeol  (  university  professor  ,  first  ‘ man  ’  of  songbird  church  )  .  mother  :  yoon  baram  (  lead  pastor  at  songbird  church  )  .  occupation  :  student  at  ucb  &  florist  at  sweet  stems  .  orientation  :  bisexual  &  biromantic  .  markings  :  standard  lobes  ,  flat  (  left  )  ,  mid  helix  (  right  )  ,  daith  (  left  )  ,  and  tragus  (  left  )  .  a  scar  on  his  left  arm  from  falling  into  broken  glass  as  a  child  .  

002  .  BACKSTORY  .

            the  yoon  family  ,  comprised  of  mother   ,  father  &  son  ,  nestled  within  the  city  of  montreal  ,  fueled  with  love  &  patience  .  the  yoon  family  is  one  of  religious  background  ,  but  not  to  the  extreme ,  as  wedensday  night  bible  studies  &  evening  services  on  sundays  were  expected  .  in  the  late  1960s  ,  the  yoon  family  became  known  throughout  their  small  neighborhood  when  saint’s  grandparents  decided  to  open  songbird  church  .  baram  ,  saint’s  mother  ,  encountered  her  future  husband  within  the  small  congregation  of  songbird  .  soon  enough  ,  the  two  had  gone  through  the  stages  of  dating  ,  engagement  ,  &  marriage  ;  sadly  ,  this  didn’t  come  without  a  sudden  change  in  their  lives  .  three  years  after  their  marriage  ,  baram’s  father  suddenly  passed  away  .

            han - gyeol  and  baram  welcome  their  son  ,  seongho  ,  into  the  world  in  1999  ,  and  it’s  in  2008  when  they  expand  songbird  from  a  decently  sized  community  church  into  a  megachurch  in  its  own  right  .  thanks  to  the  expansion  ,  the  yoon  family  saw  a  surge  in  income  ,  &  ultimately  began  to  spoil  their  little  saint  with  everything  he  could  have  ever  wanted  .  however  ,  despite  being  the  only  child  ,  saint  was  often  overlooked  and  ignored  by  his  busy  parents  .  not  only  were  they  running  songbird  ,  but  his  father  also  worked  as  a  professor  at  a  local  university  .  through  his  parents’  spoiling  ,  saint  had  been  sent  off  to  france  to  ‘  find  himself  ’  shortly  after  graduating  from  college  .  

            it  was  then  that  saint  encountered  a  man  a  few  years  older  than  him  ,  only  twenty  six  at  the  time  ,  but  the  man  was  rich  &  liked  to  brag  about  it  ,  especially  with  a  wide - eyed  saint  .  in  essence  ,  saint  becomes  a  sugar  baby  in  less  than  two  months  in  france  ;  he  finds  that  it’s  not  love  he’s  seeking  ,  but  the  thrill  of  knowing  batting  his  lashes  will  get  what  he  desires  .  their  ‘  relationship  ’  continues  even  once  his  year  in  france  is  over  ,  &  he  returns  to  canada  to  start  his  first  year  at  ucb  .  it’s  then  that  saint  finds  another  ,  this  time  a  woman  in  her  thirties  who  became  trapped  under  his  thumb  .  their  ‘  relationship  ’  ends  after  only  a  couple  of  months  ,  and  he  has  since  found  another  to  bide  his  time  with  .  

            as  for  personality  ,  a  pretty  boy  with  a  layer  of  insecurities  that  he  can’t  ignore  .  tends  to  provide  incredible  advice  for  his  friends  ,  but  can’t  seem  to  take  that  same  advice  when  he  needs  it  .  very  independent  despite  his  sugaring  ,  &  likes  doing  things  on  his  own  .  don’t  interrupt  him  on  his  laundry  days  or  he’ll  whine  about  it  for  a  week  .  very  childish  ,  but  more  on  the  bratty  side  .  likes  to  do  a  face  mask  with  his  hair  pulled  back  in  a  lil  ponytail  because  #selfcaresundays  .  avoids  confrontation  because  he  simply  can’t  deal  with  it  &  he overthinks  entirely  too  much  .  lies  about  his  parents  /  sweet  stems  being  his  source  of  income  when  we  know  that’s  not  true  .

003  .  CONNECTIONS  .

honestmeme  ...  i’d  love  to  see  the  drama  of  someone  figuring  out  that  he’s  a  sugar  baby  &  holds  it  over  his  head  ,  but  not  in  a  bad  way  !

someone  he  has  a  crush  on  ?  the  crush  doesn’t  have  to  be  reciprocated  ,  but  when  he  sees  someone  pretty  he  can’t  help  himself  !  

i’m  desperate  for  an  angsty  friends  with  benefits  or  ex  friends  with  benefits  because  i’m  such  trash  for  these  plots  like  ...  hand  it  over  .

an  angsty  ex  boyf  PLS  i  promise  i’ll  make  u  cry  :D

a  best  friend  !  someone  who  sees  right  through  his  bullshit  &  whom  he  trusts  with  his  whole  life  !

something  soft  ?  make  my  teeth  rot  &  give  me  cavities  !  could  either  be  a  boyf  or  girlf  thing  ,  i  don’t  really  mind  but  i’ll  take  ANYTHING  soft  .

a  plot  where  they  hate  each  other  .  full  on  HATE  .  no  lingering  feelings  ,  no  soft  moments  .  just  give  me  a  full  bred  spicy  hate  ship  .

SKINNY  LOVE  DO  NOT  PLAY  WITH  ME

anything  based  on  chemistry  or  if  there’s  anything  you’d  like  filled  !

[muwur]

Hiii and welcome!! May I please request for the lovable annoying baby Hinata who has a HUGE crush on this popular girl in his class and one day she sees him at the mall or something and rushes to him begging him to pretend to be her boyfriend because there’s a group of guys that won’t leave her alone and that’s when she finally realizes that this gorgeous sweetheart exists and Hinata is just on cloud 9 the entire time but then he remembers it’s all fake :((((( teeeee

✿ pretend boyfriend pt. 1

♡ scenario ♡ for hinata

❧ fem reader

✎ 3.2k words

a/n: aw hello ty for the welcome <3 also this request made me cackle AAHAHAHAHA. also this format is interesting lolol, im so indecisive about how i want it

anyways, hope u enjoy hehe >.> this came out a lot longer than i had originally planned but did i even have a plan in the first place buut i aint complaining LOL

also yes theres going to be a pt 2 firhfnxfwifj hehe

requests: open! pls bbys dun b shy i have summer skool soon fml i need this to make me procrastinate on work LMAO

-having been preoccupied with volleyball, crushes never crossed Hinata’s mind

-however, he was about to find out that he was quite clueless when it came to love

-he found himself speeding to school on his bike one morning, riding at breakneck speed to try to make it on time

-ahhhh, i was so excited about the first day of going to karasuno and seeing their volleyball team that i couldnt sleep until 4 am...!

-that explains why he overslept

-lost in his thoughts, he nearly failed to notice the girl who was walking in front of him

-and so, at the very last minute, he swerved. i nto a tree.

- “oh my gosh! are you okay??”

-if he wasn’t okay before, now he’s cURED because the most beautiful girl was looking down at him with an outstretched hand, concern in her eyes

-he jumped up instead and waved his arms in front of himself, blushing and nodding, “y-yeah, I’m fine! don’t worry about me, a-are you okay??”

- “you’re the one who crashed into the tree!” you responded with shock as you moved to pick up his bike off the ground (luckily, it was undamaged)

-he took the handlebars after you offered them to him

-you frowned slightly. “i’m sorry, i should’ve watched where i was going. are you hurt?”

-he was too busy gawking at you to realize his head started bleeding

-cue you yelling frantically “y-your head! it’s bleeding!” and rushing him to the nurse’s office

-in his head: ‘i-im holding her hand’

-nearly combusted on spot

-and that was how he met you

-later he found out he actually shared the same class with you!

-though you never seemed to notice LOL

-you sat on the opposite side of the room, closer to the front of the class

-he sat all the way in the back, so it’s not like you would’ve really seen him but it was the perfect spot for hinata to stare at you and not pay attention to class

-and during breaks or when the teacher left the room for a few minutes, everyone around you would try to spark up a conversation with you

-oh how he wished he could make you smile and laugh like that too

-and whenever he saw you outside of class, he hid immediately (behind walls, doors, lockers, people *coughkageyamacough* “hinata boke!”, etc) and admired you from afar, way too nervous to approach you after your first encounter several weeks ago

-he just kNOWS he’ll do something stupid and end up a stuttering, blushing mess

-besides, you probably forgot who he was ;((

-one day at lunch, he hid behind yamaguchi, who was confused until he followed hinata’s intent gaze to your form, which was walking by in front of the pair

-kageyama, who also took notice, smiled devilishly

- “pfffft, she’d never glance your way”

- tsukki deadpanned, “you don’t stand a chance. she’s way too pretty for you and people are lining up just to talk to her”

-cue hinata fighting kags n tsukki, blushing and with tears pricking at his eyes

- “aw, guys, don’t be so mean, I think he just has a crush!” yams snickered what an angel (no i am not in love w this man)

-one weekend, hinata was out in a nearby shopping area to get some snacks for natsu cuz she wouldn’t stop bugging him about it (“you ate the rest of my candy, so you have to go get me some more!”)

-as he was leaving the store, hand in his bag, he felt a tug on his sleeve and heard a “psst”

-some higher being must’ve blessed him that day because here he was, face to face with the girl who’s been on his mind everyday for several weeks

-sdgfhjkljihyuitufjhk

-error.exe

-he opened his mouth to say something, maybe like a:

-“h-hey! you look familiar, I totally don’t know your name or think about you before i sleep at night, s-so hOWS the weather???”

-but before he could humiliate himself speak, you gave him a small smile and asked, “aren’t you the guy i took to the nurse after you crashed into that tree?”

- “y-yeah, that was me!” he stuttered out

-he was trying so hard to keep his cool, but he could feel his palms get sweaty and his body quiver with pANIC

-you stifled a giggle with your hand (hinata: so cute dfghjfgljkl) "im glad to see you’re doing well. sorry, i never introduced myself. my name’s y/n, what’s yours?”

-you extended your hand as a greeting

-yet all he could do was stare at it, dumbfounded

-the two brain cells he owned said we ouTTIE

- “my name’s hinata!” he yelled dramatically for no reason. “sorry, my hand’s a bit sweaty, otherwise i would shake yours!” so instead, he bent forward in a bow

-eyes wide at his sudden outburst and gesture, you laughed in response and waved a hand, “it’s okay, really! nice to meet you again, hinata”

-a few moments of silence passed by, he was still bending over, and you were looking at your surroundings awkwardly

-risking a glance up, he caught a nervous expression on your face, and it made his eyebrows furrow in concern

- “hey, are you okay?” he asked as he straightened his body

-nice. smooth and direct.

-you sheepishly looked at the ground and absentmindedly itched the side of your head, twirling a strand of hair with your finger

- “this is kinda embarrassing, but um... could you do me a favor? i promise it’s nothing too bad!”

-little do you know he would literally do aNYthing for you right now

- “of course!” he replied a little too quickly. “w-what is it?”

- “soooo, i ran into these guys from school earlier, and they won’t stop bothering me, especially this one guy. a lot of girls like him and think he’s cool, but he’s such a jerk! i honestly don’t know what they see in him. he’s been so insistent on dating me the past few weeks that i try to avoid him as much as possible...”

-you shyly looked up at him and he had to refrain from exploding

- “could you please, uh, pretend to be my boyfriend?”

-b-b-b-boYFrIeNd??

- “y-y-y-your b-b-b-boyf-f-friend?” he managed to sputter

-you clasped your two palms together in front of your face like a prayer and leaned forward slightly, closing your eyes. “just for today, i promise! i remember you were really sweet when i first met you, so i thought i could ask you! i need to get a few things and i know he’s still around here, so i might run into him and his friends again. also, earlier, i uh... kinda told him i had a boyfriend to see if he would back off, but i think it just made him angrier...”

-you were talking a bit too fast for hinata’s nonexistent brain to process, but he got the gist

-basically, he needed to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of some guy that wouldn’t leave you alone

-it almost sounded like a dream come true

-except for the fact this was all fake and he wasn’t actually your boyfriend

-BUT HE GOT TO TALK TO YOU AND PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING HE WANTED TO BE

-AND PROTECT YOU

-AND HE GOT TO TALK TO YOU

-but...

- “err, how do i do that?”

-you looked back up at him questioningly. “do what?”

-he looked off to the side in embarrassment. “w-well, i’ve never really dated anyone, so i’m not sure how to act and make it believable...”

-you clasped his hands making him even more flustered and jumped up in excitement

- “so you’ll do it??”

-he could only manage to nod in response

- “great! ahhhh, thank you so much! you don’t know how much i appreciate this! as for the acting... well, we just have to do couple-y things. y’know, hold hands, stand close to one another, feed each other, take pictures together, kiss, all that stuff. just follow my lead!”

-did his ears deceive him?

-did you just say

-kISS??

-he?? was going to get?? to?/ kisS yOu?//dfokgjif

-he definitely looked like an idiot right now

-wide eyes glazed over, mouth opened slightly for the soul leaving his body, a grey and sickly pale complexion, stomach twisting from nerves and butterflies

-noya and tanaka would be so jealous

-and possibly kill him so they could replace him as your pseudo boyfriend

- “hinata? what’s wrong, d-did i say something?”

-your concerned voice brought him back to earth

-gazing into your cute, confused eyes, he took a deep breath and exhaled

- ‘im acting so uncool right now! y/n needs my help!’

-he mustered up the courage to flash you a determined smile and a thumbs up. “i’ll be the best fake boyfriend you could ever ask for!”

-you could’ve sworn you felt your heart skip a beat

-you chuckled at his genuine display and smiled back. “then in that case, would you mind tagging along as i pick up a few things?”

-he could barely hold himself together when you clasped his hand and scooted close to him

-so close he could smell a pleasant scent wafting from you

- ‘i cant believe this is happening im holding her hand agAIN was this meant to be—‘

-and then his mind went blank for like the hundredth time in the last several minutes

-he followed you around, trying to steady his rapidly beating heart and ignore the warmth that remained on his cheeks

-how could you be so calm when you two were holding hands for so long?? (kags: it means she doesnt like u)

-he was both elated and terrified at the same time

-hinata couldn’t help but relish the way your fingers felt interlocked with your own

-how you slightly swung your arms together as you walked

-the way your eyes shone as you talked so casually with him

-the crinkle of your eyes and the sweet sound of your laugh when he said something that was apparently funny

- ‘fjjkdjnf i made her laugh‘

-he couldn’t help but notice the way your hair brushed your face when you leaned forward to inspect an item on a shelf

- “this is kinda cute, don’t you think?” you held up a small plush of a hedgehog

- “y-yeah, adorable!” but i’m not talking about the hedgehog

-it was no surprise to him, really, to see why you were so popular with everyone

-what’s not there to like? aside from your stunning beauty and intelligence, you were naturally charming and radiated an aura that just drew others in

-two hours passed and you both ended up sitting at a table, hands linked together across the table’s surface

- “ah, i need to answer this,” you breathed out, letting go of his hand to rummage your bag and answer your ringing phone

-ngl his hand was already getting cold and he missed your touch

-after a few nods and short replies, you ended the call and stood up

- “well, now that i’ve gotten everything, i have to head home now. ..”

- “oh... i-i mean, oh, alright! uhh, it was nice um, shopping with you!”

-his heart sank a bit now that this blissful time had come to an end

-disappointment seeped in hello darkness my old friend

-you, too, were a bit dismayed. you never expected to have enjoyed your time with him that much

-how come you never saw him at school? you definitely would’ve loved to get to know him more...

- “y-yeah, i had a good time, too! er, shopping, i mean! thanks again for following me around, though. you’re really sweet, hinata. i don’t know what i would’ve done without your help...”

- ‘come on, this is your chance!’

-boyo took another deep breath and opened his mouth to say, “y/n, could we do this again som--”

- “y/n! heyyy, i’ve been looking for you, sweet cheeks!”

-you both whipped around to see a group of guys approaching your table

-quickly, you pulled hinata close to you and whispered in his ear, “act natural.”

-nAtUral?????

-nodding, he stood up straighter and hesitantly snaked an arm around your waist

-then stiffened in fear when you were both surrounded by a group of guys who were all way taller than him

-you gave the boys a suspicious eye and scooted closer into hinata’s touch

-“what do you want? for the last time, i am not going out with you. don’t you know anything about respecting other people? besides, i’m already with someone,” you huffed

-the one in the front cocked an eyebrow at the sight of you two

-he had silky dark hair, smooth skin, a captivating gaze, and a smirk that could creep right under your skin

-“you expect me to believe small fry’s your boyfriend? him? with YOU? you could do so much better, buttercup. I could make you feel so good.”

-hinata could tell this guy was bad news. really bad news. he was the type who wouldn’t take no for an answer

- ‘ahhh, what do i do?? if i just stand here, he’s gonna keep harassing her! and possibly even hurt her...’

-the guy inched closer to you, much to your obvious discomfort as you stepped back, and he reached out to touch your cheek

-but hinata was quicker, and he slid in front of you before the guy could lay a finger on you

- “leave her alone! she obviously wants nothing to do with you.”

-the fiery glint in his eye was almost enough to make the other guy back off, but his pride wouldn’t let him

-angry, he instead grabbed fistfuls of hinata’s collar and spat in his face, “say that again, shorty.”

-hinata continued to stare into the other guy’s eyes daringly and grabbed a hold of his wrist in response

- “she said no. quit harassing a girl who’s made it clear she’s not interested, or else.”

- “or else what.”

-his grip on the guy’s wrist tightened and his eyes sharpened. “you’ll have to get through me, first.”

- “tch,” the taller male scoffed. he let go of hinata, pushing him back and glaring as he did so. then he glanced over at you still standing behind the orange-haired boy

- “bet you’ll get bored of shortstack over here soon enough. i’ll be waiting,” he remarked with a wink

-then he and his friends turned and walked away, disappearing from view

-hinata, who’s been running on pure adrenaline during this whole encounter, then collapsed on the floor from all the excitement and terror he tried to contain

- “h-hinata?!” you gasped, using your arms to support his sluggish body

- “ahhh... i thought he’d at least swing at me, but i got lucky...”

-he sounded breathless

-however, the last thing he expected was the soft press of your lips on his cheek

- “thank you, hinata. i really appreciate the way you stood up for me back there. no one’s ever really done that for me.”

-how many times can you die and come back to life in the same day?? p sure hinata’s broken the record for that by now

- “o-o-o-of course! i couldn’t just let him keep thinking that going after you like this is o-okay! i-i didn’t even do much, i-i mean you’ve been standing up to this guy for weeks, this was the least i could do to help--”

-and you were huGGING HIM

-he awkwardly returned the gesture, eyes wide with shock as he patted your back

- “i mean it. thank you. i hope he backs off, but...” you bit your lip and pulled away

- “w-what’s wrong...?”

-you sighed. “i have a feeling he’s still going to be bothering me for a while. i hate to ask this of you, but...”

- “could you pretend to be my boyfriend for a bit longer? at least until he gets the hint and stops...?”

-did this mean...

- ‘dating’ you at scHOOL???

-kageyama and tsukki will never let him live it down, he could already imagine their comments

- “why’d she pick you of all people for this job?? you’re so?? you???”

- “couldn’t she have chosen to be with someone more believable??”

-he shook his head from his thoughts

- “i-is that a no?” you asked worriedly

- “n-no! i mean, yes! i mean, ignore that! i can pretend for as long as you need, y/n.”

- “ahhh, thank you so much, hinata! i promise i’ll treat you to something in return!” you brought him back in a hug, swaying side to side in glee

-you both stood up after you let go. “we should exchange numbers!” you suggested

- ‘oh my gawd, im getting her number rdftegiuofref’

-tanaka and noya would be so proud tho

-you quickly typed down your contact information on his phone before handing it back to him. “alright, here you go, just give me a text! i have to go now.”

-you picked up your bags and gave him a parting smile. “i’ll see you at school! get home safe!”

-and with that, you were on your way

-he stood there and watched as you left, holding onto the cheek you had kissed earlier

-he couldn’t believe it

extra:

-he had texted you after he got home, giggling like a lovesick preteen (was he not thooo LOL) as he was reading your messages and sharing memes with you

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : oh ye btw, who’s your teacher? also, where do you usually hang out? just so i know where to find you. i never c u around school for som reason

me: oh rlly? thats strange... (pretending like he doesnt hide from you lol) im usually in the courtyard during lunch or in the gym for volleyball practice, and i have class with ms. akio

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : WE’RE IN THE SAME CLASS??? omg im so sorry, i never noticed :((

me: oh no its okay! i sit all the way in the back, so

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : well, i’ll make sure to greet you next time :) ! we’ll be seeing each other a whole lot more now, so

-he was still smiling like an idiot when natsu burst open his bedroom door

- “where’s my candy?!”

-shit, you probably took it with all your other bags by accident

- “uhhh....”

- “shoyooooo! you owe me, big time!”

-he rolled his eyes. “yeah, yeah, i know, i’m sorry, i’ll buy you twice as much tomorrow.”

-he went back to typing away at his phone

-natsu raised her eyebrows in curiosity. “whatcha doinnn?”

- “nothing, go away.”

- “you’ve been on your phone all day!”

- “and?”

- “are you talking to a giiirrrlllll?”

- “n-no!”

- “then why are you blushinggg?? moommm! shoyo has a girlfriend!” then she added to her brother, “can i see her?? is she pretty??”

-he just groaned, putting a hand up to his face to cover his blush, and nodded

a/n: OKAY this def took me longer than i thot AAHAHA but no ragrets. ty for your request, anon, i rlly enjoyed writing this and i hope you liked it! there will be a part 2, ill try to get that done soon >.> stay tuned hehe. msg me or send me an ask if you wanna be in the taglist cx <3 have a great day or night, lovelies, wherever you are

[jas-michaud]

𝙹𝙰𝚂'𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝚄𝙽 𝙹𝚄𝙽𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙰𝚁𝚈 ft. @redgrve

may 29 - june 7 ( my house )

june 7 - 12 ( disneyland )

june 12 - 19 ( louis goes home & i visit @mariguinto )

june 19 - 26 ( i fly to dc to stay with louis & his dad )

@gallaghertasks

they linger on campus a little after graduation ( jas insists on a room 207 + her breakfast together post ceremony and yeah she cried!! ) but don’t waste that much time before flying to montreal to visit jas’s family. thankfully for louis, it’s only a 2ish hour flight so he’s not that sweaty when jas’s older sister picks them up at the airport! her parents wanted to but her father is working and mila insisted she do it because that’s way less scary for a boyfriend though lbr louis is losing either way, he wants her whole fam to like him. surprisingly, mila decides to be chill the whole drive there and jas is thankful because she was positive her sister was gonna try to scare him just to be annoying!

they get to the michaud household and her little sister bee ( not that little, she’s nineteen lol ) runs out to hug jas and then she hugs louis and acts like she just got carried away but it’s because he’s cute and we all know it! jas’s mom doesn’t come out because she is in the kitchen making louis-friendly brownies and these pictures on the internet lead me to believe they taste better than they sound. louis is probs flustered by the attention but hello this is the family that produced jas, they are happy to do the most. a couple hours pass and her mother starts making dinner ( her mom is home because she’s a teacher so it’s summer vacation for her too obvs ) and her dad comes home and she hugs him and truly in that exact moment realizes she will not be there for father’s day and almost cries. and then realizes she will be with louis’s dad for father’s day? and she imagines louis still doesn’t rly know how to celebrate? do they ignore it every year?? she is determined to get him a present when she finds something for her own dad!

louis is nervy because dentists are scarier to him than spies but jas’s dad is nice and simply not scary and also i’m in love with him. bed time! jas is like it was a long day i won’t try to seduce you in my childhood bedroom this one time ❤️

they do canadian shit for the rest of the trip and jas continues to try teaching louis german. jas is so happy to be home, and to be home with louis specifically, and even if they both have to lie about their college and what louis is planning to do with his life it still feels like things are kind of amazing and on their last day in canada she finally starts thinking about the fact that they’re going to disneyland and!!!!!!!!

JAS BRINGS A PEN AND YES SHE IS MARKING UP THE PARK MAP THEY NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT OR WHY DO IT AT ALL!!! they only have four full days at disney. the day they get there is mostly just getting settled in the hotel and they watch a movie but jas falls asleep halfway through i hope they aren’t cursed to never successfully watch movies together. DAY ONE: a treat for the boyf, they’re gonna start with galaxy’s edge. then it’s frontierland, new orleans square & adventureland! it’s probably hard for louis to find stuff he can eat in the park so jas has made a list of restaurants in each area that might have at least one item she thinks is safe but also she has brought snacks!! meanwhile she is eating churro funnel cakes and mickey mouse ice cream bars and drinking mint juleps or whatever the fuck. she has a sugar high every damn day and then passes out every night which is why she initiates morning sex tmi? DAY TWO: gotta start with main street!!! then tomorrowland, fantasyland and toontown. they watch the fireworks, jas gets privately emo because she just l*ves her boyfriend, he probably almost says it then there’s a loud ass firework and he is stressed bc of loud noises ( lowkey i don’t like fireworks bc same ). DAY THREE: california adventure, baby! hollywood land, followed by grizzly peak and then cars land. they dip before it’s too late to hang out in the hotel and i am giving louis designated gaming time. DAY FOUR: the rest of california adventure which is just pixar pier, pacific wharf and paradise gardens park. they go out somewhere fancy because i say so. and because this is their last night together for a week. which is literally no time at all but jas cries a little when he leaves her at the gate to go catch his separate flight.

jas was originally supposed to go on vacation with the guintos, then the vacation was cancelled and she made plans with louis because she is very aware that she won’t see him that often next semester and she is...not okay but anyways! he said he wanted to go visit his dad alone for a week so she got to tell mari that she could visit after all and yay!!! because not seeing mari for a full month was wild! she facetimes louis every day which is unnecessary but it is what it is. and ofc she facetimed mari pretty much every day when she was with louis. they don’t do anything too wild, just hanging out in los angeles, but it’s still perfect and a lot of fun and she’s like bye see you in berlin love you miss you already.

louis picks her up at the airport in dc and she hugs him as if they haven’t seen each other in months and it’s generally a gross display but what else is new. she meets his dad and their dads are so different which is not surprising and his dad is so much unlike louis which is also not surprising but over the course of the week she finds certain mannerisms and expressions that they share and it’s amazing how genetics find a way despite everything! she likes his dad and hopes he likes her and when they leave for berlin a few days before the internship starts, it seems like?? he likes her and she?? is so happy. louis shows her as much of dc as he can in such a limited amount of time and even tho she’s a canadian she finds it all very interesting, probably more than most 21-year-old americans would! she also sometimes thinks about how georgetown is there but they don’t go to see the campus or anything, it’s just weird to think about.

they fly to berlin and louis tries to sleep through most of the flight and jas just likes having his head on her shoulder what is this the lizzie mcguire movie haha and when they arrive in berlin he is pretty well rested but she is dreaming of sleeping for the next five years.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [stories of the gals getting ready at a mad early time like ???] Janis: they know the party really starts at midnight, yeah? 🤔 Jimmy: they know they'll be 🎃 or 🐀s by then, gotta get all the selfies they can before the clock strikes, obvs Jimmy: REAL question is do I have time to tattoo anti-Tory slogans across my whole body before her dad comes back to see me ✨ or not Janis: Tag yourself, 🎃 or 🐀, you're clearly the 🎃 Janis: duh, you've got the ink, I'll bring the needle Janis: easy Jimmy: 'cause I'm SO 😁 about this party, near as 🎃 Jimmy: what can I write to let him know my truest feelings about lawyers? 🤔🤔 Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: weren't just calling you fat with a dodgy spray tan Janis: though it does sum up half the clan so 👏🏆 Janis: VERY working class Janis: perfect Jimmy: but if the 👠 fits, yeah? I get it Jimmy: only #DRAMA'll be if Ian rates them an' all Jimmy: I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or chuck a 👗 on to go with them 👠 Janis: SO many men, SO many ways to please 'em/piss 'em off 😤😰 Janis: and the shoe don't fit you babe, sort of the whole point Janis: 👸✔ Jimmy: 😘😘😘 Jimmy: just carry it about so I can start a 🥊 nowt more common than a chipped tooth and black eye Janis: be PLENTY of candidates for a smack Janis: not sure if there'll be many who could get one in though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻 have to get my mascara running another way, huns Janis: 🤢 Janis: you when your gag reflex kicks in Jimmy: SHOULD I spray tan? Tell me honestly Janis: 😬 Jimmy: go on, what one do you use? looks well natural Janis: 😏 Idiot Janis: @ my sister 'cos hers ain't Jimmy: oh right, fancy dress 🥳 is it? Jimmy: THANK GOD you said Janis: if you ain't gone anywhere more exotic than Skerries for the break, you've GOT to pretend hun Jimmy: brb painting myself Janis: remember to do the backs of your legs Janis: don't wanna match Asia Jimmy: how many 🥊 do you reckon to knock her 🦷🦷 out? Jimmy: can't do no 🥇 twinning with them there Janis: could do it under 5 but you might lose more fingers Jimmy: o wi no f Jimmy: mysterious Janis: you what? Jimmy: it'll ruin daddy's favourite tattoos but Jimmy: the 😎🚬 Janis: oh Janis: pftt Janis: you'll have a few years before you've ruined it with all the coffee machine burns Jimmy: such a relief, that Janis: what's more 💪 #ladladlad than various injuries Jimmy: tah for letting me know before my rib has healed and I've pissed away all the content I could've had Janis: I mean, that's why he does it yeah Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: bit late for any dickhead to try to toughen me up Jimmy: wrong location an' all Janis: you're tough enough Janis: some would say you look rough in that 👗👠 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I'm well busy turning myself into that Bargain Hunt bloke Janis: *budget HUN Jimmy: give me a break, Jodie, it's happening on mine in the CG 🚽 Janis: busy working boss babe, I get it Janis: I'm busy too, tah Jimmy: doing what? Janis: 🐕🏃 Janis: people wanna get ready/get pissed without worrying about their pooches, who knew Jimmy: I get it🎇🎆'll start and they'll all shit themselves, helps if they've already done a 💩 Janis: that, and I doggy drug them so Janis: everyone's 😁 Jimmy: except Ian, he'll be 💔😭🎻 you ain't poisoned ours for the night Janis: There really is no pleasing some people Jimmy: @ Sharon in a bit Janis: when she's had enough seccys to spill the good goss Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🗨 about as good as the time he'll be threatening her with Janis: Ick Janis: I hate this night Jimmy: subtle hint and challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll turn it round for you, girl Janis: you ain't competing with much but Janis: go ahead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need a thumb in the middle gladiator style Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'll decide your fate, that's not necessarily rude Jimmy: which one's the 💀💀💀 one? Janis: 👎 I think Janis: but you'll be 👍 so maybe we need to switch it Jimmy: don't need to be fluent at signing to come up with a signal Jimmy: I'll make it really obvious for you when I want you to do it Janis: gun through the roof of your mouth is a bit obvious to the rest of the party-goers though, remember Jimmy: you want subtle you can have subtle Janis: I want you to do what you want Janis: if we're not enjoying fucking up their party, what's the point Jimmy: I don't do nowt I don't want Jimmy: far as this goes Jimmy: enough of that bollocks everywhere else Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: and I meant what I said Jimmy: not actually 😁 but Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: we're 🥇 Janis: it's them having the 💩 time Jimmy: already Jimmy: [group chat highlights] Janis: 😏 Janis: do we know which of them is bringing a victim? Jimmy: Asia DUH Jimmy: Tammy's the only one who had me #SHOOK Janis: bullshit Janis: be SO awks when her fake boyf doesn't show Jimmy: be so 💔 when it ain't a full set no more Jimmy: even 💀#2's spreading it about that there's a lad she wants to 💋 Janis: 😂 either you or her is lying now Janis: I'll place my bets Jimmy: insider tip, it ain't me Jimmy: I'd NEVER lie to you, sweetheart Janis: 💕 Janis: does it make Mia 😁 or 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 REALLY though Janis: that's the question Jimmy: my 💰's on 😁 when it don't happen Janis: that's with any of them 👑 Janis: thinks she's the 👸 of the story Jimmy: who's she faking it is? that's the real question Jimmy: remind me how many brothers you've got again Janis: just the 1, that's easy to remember, keep up Jimmy: if he were gonna brainwash himself into a new sexuality, she'd DEFINITELY be who for Janis: ✨ she ain't Janis: god bless Jimmy: 🙄 back to ootds, fuck's sake Asia Janis: Do you wanna see mine now or be pleasantly surprised later Jimmy: Do you want me to chuck this ☕ over the dickhead who ordered it or what? Janis: surely that goes without saying Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: [some lewk you won't be able to serve 'cos god damnit we deserve it] Jimmy: shit Janis: tell Asia she may as well stay home then? Jimmy: [does but in a way that's like loved up and #goals not like fuck you gals obvs] Jimmy: when did you sort that? Jimmy: it weren't the other day, I'd have 👀 Janis: would you? you were pretty distracted Janis: I had it way at the back of my wardrobe though Jimmy: Oi, don't be doubting my dedication to 🛍 Janis: you're well dedicated to the try-on, I know Jimmy: I know what matters, yeah Janis: you're gonna have time to get all your glitter on, yeah? Jimmy: I'll make time, LITERALLY see above for why, like Janis: Priorities, baby Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: I'll let you get on with spilling more coffee over more dickheads then Janis: 🕖 will fly Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: oi Jimmy: you are Janis: how am I? Jimmy: you know how Jimmy: you're gonna just 💀💀💀 me and piss off? Janis: You're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it feels like I could Janis: that's how I want you to feel Janis: do you want me to apologize? Jimmy: I want Janis: you want Janis: ❓ Jimmy: you here Janis: I want that too Janis: but I can't Janis: both busy Jimmy: that's why you're a dickhead Janis: blame your manager Janis: and these dogs Jimmy: they're not sending me 📷 Jimmy: looking so fucking Janis: should hope no Janis: t* Janis: your DMs are full enough without that blatant competition Jimmy: would explain the TENSION and shite shifts Janis: oi Jimmy: never said I were gonna give him any 😍 or 💌 back Janis: 😣 Janis: will have to ask to see your manager to fuck him up Jimmy: I get that you're just making sure my 😍 stay yours but I can't help falling for it Janis: Gotta do what I gotta do Janis: even if it means Karen-ing out Jimmy: not too busy for that? Janis: never too busy for a brawl Janis: um, defending your honour, I mean Jimmy: priorities Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: you ARE my priority Jimmy: *🐕🏃💰 Janis: what are you doing right now Janis: ☕💰 Jimmy: difference is I could and would be able to still ☕🎨 if I had you here on this counter an' all Jimmy: 🐕s ain't letting you do owt but 🏃 Janis: Trying to work out if you want me to give you the chance to prove that or not Jimmy: you think I've got owt to prove? Janis: Not to me Jimmy: who else? Jimmy: you're the only one I'm bothered about Janis: then Jimmy: then what? Janis: If I get time Janis: and get rid of all these dogs at a point Janis: I could try to come in Jimmy: 🚫🤞 Jimmy: but Janis: I know Janis: it's bullshit but Janis: I mean that I'll try Jimmy: it's not nowt that you mean that Janis: I am doing the route 'round mine though Janis: typically Janis: so it will take me a while regardless Jimmy: I'll be here ages Jimmy: maybe he wants to make his move after I've flipped the sign to closed Janis: doesn't he know we're the only ones allowed to be cliche Jimmy: knows nowt unless it's written in the work groupchat Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: kind of you Janis: I could just pull up on him Jimmy: STOP OMG 🤤🤤🤤😍😍 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [a selfie with the manager in the background and he's drawn a 🎯 on him like] Janis: [finger gun selfie like pew pew] Jimmy: alright, don't keep reminding me how fit you are Janis: heaven forbid ANYONE forgets Janis: gonna take SO many selfies tonight Jimmy: Oi Janis: *couple goals selfies Jimmy: 📷's my job, dickhead Jimmy: don't matter if I'm in 'em or not Janis: so possessive about your 📸 Jimmy: bollocks am I, I've offered to lend it loads of times Janis: must be the muse then Jimmy: she is 🥇 Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: but I could teach you 📸 there's nowt you could teach any dickhead about how you're 🥇 Janis: 📸 not the only thing you're 🥇 at Jimmy: there's a list you've got, so I've heard Janis: more than a maybe Janis: ✔ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you can have another Janis: at midnight Janis: better than a 💋 from a drunk randomer Jimmy: you're still gonna kiss me though Jimmy: ! and ? Janis: look weird if I didn't Jimmy: if you don't wanna I'll arrange to be 😭😭😭 in the 🚽 with Ella and Tammy Janis: highly doubt #2 has the energy to fake tears, let alone produce 'em Jimmy: just me and the tiktok 👑 then Jimmy: bit weird and cosy but Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: *💔 you mean Janis: you know I want to Jimmy: you have to, I'm turning the night round for you, as promised Janis: and that's your answer, yeah? Jimmy: if your question's how I'm gonna do it, I ain't gonna answer Jimmy: ⏲ and 👀 Janis: alright Janis: not promising patience Jimmy: I know what you're like, it's alright Jimmy: nowt if not used to that, me Janis: sound more put upon Janis: dickhead Jimmy: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: there you go Janis: ha ha Janis: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣** there YOU go Jimmy: **🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you'll do yourself an injury Jimmy: not ANOTHER one 🎻 Janis: you brought it up, that time Janis: let the record show Jimmy: but it's you who's making it sound like I need to chuck a load of fragile stickers on my head Jimmy: good job it's massive Janis: I am not Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: get in the group chat if you wanna chat like that Janis: BOY Jimmy: never left, I'd be GUTTED to miss one of Asia's POSSIBLE ootds Janis: stay in there Jimmy: [sends her the worst of these lewks] Janis: What's she going for with that... Janis: I? Jimmy: 🐧? Jimmy: hang on, no, it's OBVS 🦨 Janis: the slaggy one from Bambi Jimmy: very on brand of her Janis: interesting theme Janis: bit characters from retro disney Jimmy: 💀👑 must've sorted it Jimmy: ☠🍎's on brand for her Janis: she thinks the queen but definitely the crone Jimmy: don't she eat the lass' 💘 in the 📖? have to get her calorie counter app out Janis: actually a pigs heart so factor that in, babe Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: so much fat Janis: don't fancy it any more on the way back up Jimmy: I don't fancy my 🍪🧁🥐 no more, tah for that, mate Jimmy: gonna look so skinny in a bit now Janis: **less fat Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: ILY 2 BABES 💖🙌 Jimmy: such BFF goals, us Janis: rival 💀👑 n #2 Jimmy: 👏👏🥀 Janis: is she still with my brother or what Jimmy: dunno Jimmy: been a bit busy telling Asia she's dead brave for going with that 👗 Janis: 😏 Janis: shame she's thick enough to be expecting the 🥇 in the post Jimmy: I'll ask 💀👑 if she's doing a couple's outfit if #2 answers we'll have ours about your brother Janis: 💡 Janis: can't accuse you of the same today Jimmy: [sends her whatever the answer is] Janis: [probably should still be together for the drama and we're not committing you to ages here so] Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you'll have even more fun ruining it Janis: yeah Janis: we will Jimmy: 💔 we can't steal the 🎤 off her with some MASSIVE announcement Janis: we could fake one but fake calling off the engagement is more hardcore than fake break up, remember that Jimmy: don't worry me Jimmy: every dickhead knows LDRs don't work Janis: neither does teen marriage Janis: not #goals either Jimmy: What then? 🏠🔑? 🐕? Janis: fucked if I know Jimmy: ✈️ tickets 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: that's never not Janis: and easy to fake Janis: easy for us, anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where we fake going then Jimmy: Where do you wanna go? Janis: 🍸🛍💃☕✨ OBVS Janis: but we should say your hometown Janis: most believable Janis: awh factor is a bonus Janis: you'll have 📸s Jimmy: you sure? Jimmy: nowt #goals about being there Janis: the #trust is the #goals bit Janis: anyway, you aren't going to have an actual break from CG for a million years so Janis: only a long weekend, all we have to do is hide the whole time, what's not to 💕? Jimmy: I get it, this is 'cause I said that whatever we do is #goals Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll make it look 🍸🛍💃☕✨ Janis: Sure you can Janis: don't you think it's a good idea Janis: could go over dead cheap, no one is going to think it's a stretch Jimmy: it'll do Janis: no one'd give me sympathy for my fake miscarriage so Janis: yeah, have to Jimmy: know our audience Janis: any bitch with half a brain'd reckon it 🍀 to get away with the sob story not the unwanted brat Jimmy: don't need any fake kids to raise an' all, got enough on with the real ones Janis: exactly Janis: be well rude of me Jimmy: bag of sugar'd just disappear into my tea Jimmy: near enough a murder Janis: 💀 there's slow n painful and then there's that Jimmy: bit bored of the rumours going about but Jimmy: end up with some right weirdos in my DMs if we went with that Janis: you rate the ones you got now then? Jimmy: as harmless enough Jimmy: the only 💀💀💀 pact I want is the one we have Janis: right answer Jimmy: I'll give you loads more of them before tonight's over with Janis: I'll give you whatever you like Janis: can't promise it'll be what you wish for at midnight but Jimmy: what you're NOT a 🧠📖? Janis: I am, OBVIOUSLY Janis: just don't think I can get it done, soz Jimmy: ? Janis: 🤫 Janis: can't reveal my secrets Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: mm 😏 Jimmy: did fall for how mysterious you are so Janis: that's the story Jimmy: 💕 Janis: who HASN'T fallen for my mystery, that's the question Jimmy: if this were a film or something one of them dogs would've cocked his leg on you as that sent Janis: rude Janis: if it was a film, I'd bump into a 😒 man and he'd be so unimpressed and I'd be so 😳 Jimmy: that murderer from a bit ago popping back Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: come bump into me, there ain't a more 😒🌧 about Janis: *Bill trying to get the story back on track Jimmy: I promise you'll be SO 😳 Janis: you're Janis: distracting me Jimmy: you started it Janis: you asked for it Jimmy: I will if it means I can have it Janis: try it then Jimmy: please Janis: yep Janis: okay Janis: let me just Jimmy: just hurry up, please Janis: I am Janis: you don't need to keep saying it and killing me Jimmy: [a voice memo to keep saying it and killing her obvs] Jimmy: do I not? alright Janis: I hate you a bit Jimmy: only 🤏? Janis: only? Janis: this doesn't feel like only Jimmy: so how much do you really hate me? Janis: so fucking much Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: got loads of ideas, me Jimmy: done nowt but think about you since I got here Janis: taking it despite the obvious Jimmy: where you obviously are on the fuming scale, yeah Janis: the obvious fact that your job is boring and so are your customers Jimmy: and co-workers Janis: your girlfriend ain't working then Jimmy: bit rude to call Pete a lass, his hair ain't even that long Janis: not who I meant but I'd know if he was in you'd be 😍 and ignoring me Jimmy: who did you mean? Janis: idk her name Janis: hillary Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: loads of dickheads have called in sick, bit weird that Janis: so strange Janis: going about, that Jimmy: she's probably one, whoever you mean Janis: hannah? Janis: lucy? Janis: you know who I mean Jimmy: I don't Janis: ugh Janis: the one that gave me evils Jimmy: her? ain't seen her since then Jimmy: assumed you'd murdered her Janis: fuck around and find out Jimmy: how'd you do it then? Janis: made her drink some bleach instead of putting it on her head for once Janis: easy Jimmy: Bill must've been chuffed to bits Janis: his idea, if anyone asks Jimmy: should've used a dagger if you wanted him to take the fall Jimmy: #obsessed Janis: didn't float one to me in time Janis: his own fault Jimmy: part timer Janis: thought you were accusing me Jimmy: you're not a piss poor 👻 Janis: tah Janis: 💕 Jimmy: far as your 🧛 rating goes Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: see the evidence of that Janis: speaks for itself so Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I don't have the teeth or owt and I've done as decent of a job Jimmy: that speaks for itself an' all Janis: speaks for how irresistible I am Jimmy: gonna have to stop calling you 💪🏆🥇 if this pissing about keeps on Janis: I told you I had to finish up THEN get to town Janis: cheek of you Jimmy: cheek of you to ever call me soft, more like Janis: steady on Jimmy: should give you the nicest 🧛🏆 Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock one up Janis: I'll be a laughing stock Janis: you should be dead/my servant by now Jimmy: that's what I'm saying Jimmy: sort your head out, mate Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: no Janis: 'cos you want it, that's nice Jimmy: I'll fake a will to live for a bit Jimmy: come on Janis: you want mean Janis: 😶 Jimmy: I want whatever you want, my dear Jimmy: that's what I'm here for Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: it'd be a nightmare being with someone like that Janis: actually Jimmy: do you reckon any dickheads are actually going on like that? Janis: yeah Janis: plenty Janis: happy wife happy life shit Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: my sisters bloke is like that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 he'd be able to crack onto so many more Sharons with that bollocks Janis: he would NEVER Janis: do what you like, drown out the nagging Jimmy: never be able to keep it up but he's only gotta get them within ⛓ distance of the sink Janis: 😬 bear it Jimmy: we all will, owt to avoid having to do the washing up myself, OBVS Jimmy: too much of a #lad for it Janis: keep walking if you reckon I will Janis: not in the contract Jimmy: not a kink 🔓 and there's nowt about it in Bill's script, you're alright, Jillian Janis: 👌 Janis: in other news, dropped the last dog off Jimmy: didn't drop a ☕ in my rush to 🙏🙌 hearing that but a shitter 🤹 might've done Janis: you know how far it is to mine now, you're holding off on the excitement, like Jimmy: stamina like mine, bloody have to 👴💔 Janis: 😏 Janis: put my outfit n shit in a bag so we can go from yours later? Jimmy: loads later, after we've been alone for AGES, yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: ruining their party/life ain't gonna take all night Jimmy: few minutes if that Janis: you got plans for the rest of our time, right Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: you know I have Janis: I like having confirmation Janis: sue me Jimmy: you helping me apply ✨ is a good bit of it Janis: I don't know if I'm gonna want to go anywhere after that Jimmy: I'll carry you ✔ Jimmy: where the fuck does she live? Janis: safe to say too far for that Janis: ❌ Jimmy: [the most pouty selfie of all time] Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: stop Janis: we'll take loads of breaks on the way, yeah? Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: something like that Jimmy: as addictive as that Janis: I Janis: wish your dad's car was still here Janis: and I'm going to get ready Jimmy: If my manager weren't, I'd bring you it Janis: never there 'til you don't want him to be 💩😁 Jimmy: what comes of not being a paddy round here is that, no luck Janis: 💔 poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: least you like the accent, makes it a bit less 💔 Janis: it's on the list, no spoilers though, wait and 👀 what else is Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 again? Janis: [gonna have to stop this now, ugh, fuck you shit nan] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [later when she obvs has not replied] Jimmy: really dedicated to no spoilers, you Jimmy: did your phone 💀💀💀 or what? Jimmy: [a bit later again] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: if you're fake tanning without me, FUMING Jimmy: [and again] Jimmy: You alright? Jimmy: [even later] Jimmy: Where the fuck've you gone? Jimmy: I'll be done in a bit Jimmy: [and when he's done] Jimmy: answer me, dickhead or I'll 🚗 Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: [later still] Jimmy: What's going on? Jimmy: this is doing my head in now Jimmy: just Jimmy: [even later later] Jimmy: tell me you're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: please Jimmy: [later later later] Jimmy: or owt else Jimmy: 🗨  any bollocks Jimmy: [after whatever lies Grace has told because why not] Jimmy: She don't look enough like you to act as stand in Jimmy: as understudies go, I wouldn't bother next time if I were you Jimmy: don't know why I'm still bothering with this Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [So clearly, going to be gone for a few days but be back before school starts] Jimmy: [do you wanna do that they don't see each other/he doesn't know she's back until school though or do that before as well?] Janis: [we were going to do the kid's birthday party thing I think?] Jimmy: [yeah that should definitely be as soon as she's back for max awkwardness I'm just wondering how he's gonna know she is lol so I thought maybe they'd have to do a school day first or something idk] Janis: [oh yeah, we could do it like that, that works, it's usually 4-6th is so] Jimmy: [cos like I think we did before that he saw her 🐕🏃 but I doubt she'd be taking dogs over the park opposite his house casually so school feels like the only place they would run into each other cos likewise not gonna go order a latte so unless she's on route to mcvickers and they run into each other that way because it's right by his house? but I feel like she'd think of that and maybe avoid there too] Janis: [we'll go with it, awkward] Jimmy: [the other question is has he covered for her/keep up the fake dating vibes or has there been zero content because obvs relevant either way] Janis: [up to you, as she did not ask this time, and clearly she can't have been posting anything] Jimmy: [yeah I'm not sure how much he'd be able to do onesided lol like he could've had pics and stuff that they haven't posted before etc but like if there's nothing from her I don't know how they'd account for that unless it's like a I lost my phone/ it's broken cliche but if he doesn't post anything peeps are gonna be like ???!! so which he'd wanna avoid so I could see him covering without being asked] Janis: [do your best boy, got faith, clearly the first thing we do when we get back is post something of our own] Jimmy: [plus it makes it more awkward when they do see each other in person because they'd have to keep up the fakery because there has been no lull far as the fans are concerned] Janis: [and we haven't actually done school fakery yet so, I hope it's a day you have a lot of classes apart lol] Jimmy: [do we wanna say they interact first in a class they don't have because like you said posting on socials again and we can awkwardly talk here or throw them straight into being together asap and having to navigate that?] Janis: [I think she would say something, tbh, not just show up like that] Jimmy: [okay then, have fun working out what you're gonna say boo] Janis: Sorry, didn't take my phone Janis: do catch up now Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: Yeah, Grace told you right Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: told her to Jimmy: you can crack on giving her a 🏆 Jimmy: she'll be chuffed Janis: Bit far Janis: but 🧠 like hers, glad she remembered Jimmy: lies and fake bollocks comes natural to her, that'll be why Janis: don't think she went to the party, actually Jimmy: got that in common Janis: Yeah Janis: shame but sure it was still shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: she looks 😢 rn Janis: and she's usually buzzing for psychics so Janis: something happened Jimmy: or didn't Janis: she'd be keeping it DL if she got dumped or her next victim didn't show so yeah Janis: possible Jimmy: might just be daddy didn't bring the right 🎁 back Jimmy: don't get more 💔 than your soulmate not actually understanding you Janis: no postcard Janis: makes sense Jimmy: I've done my 😭 that you didn't bother Janis: no 📱 no 🖊 Jimmy: no 🩸 Jimmy: #starving🧛problems Janis: not looking 💀 I don't think Jimmy: don't matter, there's ages before I have to give you 😍 IRL Jimmy: can practice on sir til then Janis: thank GOD Jimmy: find him at your brother's house? makes sense, ALWAYS going on about loving the gays Janis: Adds up, right? Jimmy: more than this lesson plan Jimmy: but that's saying nowt, sir's clearly had a rough go of 🎄 Janis: ain't we all Janis: no need to 😭 Jimmy: weren't about to get the 🎻s out, you're alright Janis: talking about him, anyway Janis: you're fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's wrong? Jimmy: what are you going on about? Jimmy: I'm fine, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: you seem off Jimmy: not 😁 about school Jimmy: or still being here for it Janis: #therelatablemoodoftheday Jimmy: right Janis: Well I go home for lunch so don't worry about having to come find me then Janis: just english and detention, unavoidably so Jimmy: bit far, isn't it? Janis: I don't go home home, walk some dogs, if I have time, or go for a run Jimmy: just #bants mate Jimmy: even I've got that much of a grasp on where shit is Jimmy: and reading a clock Janis: a fair question, not a side-splitter Jimmy: weren't gonna have time to find you then any road, got my own home to go to and 🐕 to 🏃 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 in a bit then Janis: thought the lesson were shit Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 be a bit rude not to leave you to crack on with yours Janis: well considerate Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can pretend we're doing the same dog walk Janis: in that vein Jimmy: [sends her some pics of Twix on a walk because Bobby would take like 4 million] Janis: sorted Janis: very cute Jimmy: save it for the caption, Joan Janis: I can do better than that Janis: not half-arsing it Jimmy: remembered your phone today, for starters Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: I didn't forget it, I just left it Jimmy: weren't pulling your weight either way Janis: yeah, I know Janis: no one does anything in January Janis: easy to get back on track now Jimmy: we've not been off track 'cause I ain't been off the clock Janis: alright, thanks Janis: I didn't tell you to Janis: or tell Grace to tell you that Jimmy: you didn't tell me fuck all Jimmy: and I didn't do it for you Janis: well I gave you a perfect excuse to not to Jimmy: I didn't fancy DMs full of lasses offering to take your place from the new year's 💋 onwards Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 is right Janis: if I can't go out the city without them pouncing then clearly we're not doing enough Jimmy: can't control what they do Jimmy: more #goals we are, the more they wanna step into your role Janis: fucking hell, okay Mr Perfect Janis: then what? Jimmy: what did you think would happen? Jimmy: there's loads of fans that are just 👏👏🌹 an' all Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: what is the plan for if not that Janis: you'll not put off everyone but if it's not better then it's broken Jimmy: if you want out, piss off out Janis: I'm not the one complaining Jimmy: neither am I Jimmy: I'm catching you up with what I did and why Janis: Great Jimmy: can't win with you Jimmy: mardy when I say nowt and when I 🗨 Janis: You're the one in a mood Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you want me to be Jimmy: going on and on about it Janis: yeah, that makes sense Jimmy: never said it did Jimmy: should've told you to sort your head out Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm good Jimmy: that's more on brand for you, babe Jimmy: on you go Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: ha ha Jimmy: funny's more on brand for you an' all Jimmy: said it before Janis: what's your brand then? Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: yeah Janis: well you've not good a good grasp on mine so I'll decide, thanks Janis: got* Jimmy: got loads of time to do the ❌ while sir 🗨 and 😭 Janis: you don't need a list Jimmy: don't have one, so you reckon Janis: You've got the wrong ✔ Jimmy: got no ✔ about your branding Janis: don't matter Janis: only the fake Jimmy: if it don't matter why bother telling me I'm wrong? Janis: so you stop telling me what I am Jimmy: I get it, that bit matters Janis: if I've got to hear you chatting shit, yeah Jimmy: you only wanna have your go at it, I get that an' all Jimmy: 🚫👂 Janis: what have I said Jimmy: nowt but bollocks, that's the point Janis: You made it clear you don't wanna talk Jimmy: you started it Janis: I couldn't take my phone Jimmy: you could've made a tin can 📞 by now, you've had days Janis: I was a bit busy Jimmy: you know what I mean Jimmy: if you wanted to talk to me, you would've Janis: that's actually not true Jimmy: what your brother's not got a 📞 or 💻 Jimmy: it's just bollocks Jimmy: takes a minute to tell me you're alright yourself Janis: I didn't have a minute Janis: I clearly weren't at my brothers Janis: I told you that so you could put that out there if you didn't want to do the whole show yourself Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's what I'm bothered about Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I did my best not to leave you in the lurch Jimmy: I don't fucking care what the fake story is Janis: I'm sorry alright Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's not about how 💔🎻😭 it were or weren't for me Janis: what then Janis: go on Jimmy: you, dickhead Janis: what do you mean, me? Jimmy: if you need the list, you couldn't take your phone, didn't have a minute to grab one, weren't at your brothers, all shit you've said just now Jimmy: and before at the park you said you've stayed there Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Janis: Shit happened Janis: it's not my mum Jimmy: you don't have to tell me, but there's no need to chat bollocks Janis: Don't change that I went either way Janis: I don't think you're thick Jimmy: just leave it out acting like you went on holiday Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I heard you up there Janis: I don't know what to say else Jimmy: I'll let you 🤐 Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I still want to talk to you Jimmy: @ me you're got loads of that to do Janis: 👍 Janis: If you like Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: not me who's got writers block Janis: you've told me what you don't wanna hear, not what you do Jimmy: since when do I need to? Janis: That's fairly obvious Jimmy: never been my job to feed you lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 for a bit of that if you need a hand Janis: don't have no problem with the fake story Janis: [do some socials, to that point] Jimmy: [just doing a socials sesh because it's simpler to be fake than handle how we really feel] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: tah Janis: means a lot Jimmy: not patting you on the back for doing your bit Janis: I can see the evidence right there Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: more like it Jimmy: piss off and do your physics 🤓 Janis: it's all 🏃 and 💥 Janis: nothing nerdy about that Janis: what are you doing? Jimmy: drying sir's eyes Jimmy: sure it means loads to him an' all Janis: I meant subject but pop off Janis: Lucas is going to be so upset Janis: CONSTANT job Jimmy: that'll be why I'm getting my practice is, gonna be so 😱😱😁 to FINALLY see him again, muscle memory'll have to do Jimmy: *in Janis: you'll do great Janis: 👸 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: Lucky him Jimmy: DUH he deserves nowt but the best Jimmy: I'm the lucky one to have all this detention ⏲ Jimmy: ⭐🏆 Janis: you can ask for alone time then Janis: see if he goes for it Jimmy: doubt that Janis: Yay Jimmy: gonna have to work harder than that at saying it like you mean it Janis: I don't Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: I've not thought about him all holiday Janis: almost forgot Jimmy: should've added more 💔💔💔 Jimmy: SO cruel, you Jimmy: he'll have 💭 of nowt else Janis: how he likes it Janis: no pain no gain Jimmy: all part of your plan, I get it, Judith Janis: don't always miss Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, I remember 🏀 Janis: it helps, I guess Jimmy: 🥅⚽️ Janis: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: I don't want a compliment Janis: I'm trying to Janis: never mind Jimmy: it's not much of one with nowt to back it up still, I get that an' all Janis: sure you'll still be here when the season starts Jimmy: bit rude Janis: realistic Jimmy: 👌 Janis: it's like next week, calm down Jimmy: not sitting here fuming about owt you 💭 Janis: alright Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your reassurances that we'll still be here, he'd be chuffed to hear 'em Janis: not my fault Jimmy: it ain't mine that you can't take a compliment Janis: you're not trying to compliment me, I'm not thick Jimmy: don't need to try for a start Jimmy: you're the one who's got catching up to do Janis: and I'm doing it Janis: what looks more suspicious than love bombing you the entire day Jimmy: nowt suspicious about that to our audience but alright Janis: fuck's sake Janis: [more socials] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: piss off Jimmy: you Janis: happily Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yep Jimmy: [sends her whatever drawings he did for the days she was gone because he said he'd do one every day bye] Janis: I get it Janis: yeah Jimmy: that you're so hard done by having to do owt that I thought I'd give you a hand with bollocks you can post, yeah Janis: no, that you've held that shit down, and I am grateful Janis: but as you said you don't care, and I had more pressing shit to deal with, I'm not going to say thank you forever Jimmy: I don't want you to say tah, not that dickhead Janis: just to hold it over me, you're THAT dickhead Janis: ? Jimmy: OBVS if that's how it's coming across that's how it is Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'd rather you just came out and said what you want to say Janis: or didn't say anything if you've got nothing, whatever Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: you weren't having it when I had nowt to say Janis: because I stupidly thought you might have Janis: if that's actually the case then sorted Janis: no worries Jimmy: same page then, us Jimmy: 'cause what have you said? Janis: Sorry, multiple times, thanks as well Janis: and I've been trying to talk and you keep shutting me down with bullshit Jimmy: yeah alright, it's my fault that I don't wanna hear that bollocks Janis: how the fuck would you know what I'm going to say, you haven't let me say it Jimmy: it were you who said you've got nowt else but sorry Janis: believe whatever you like Jimmy: it's a copout for dickheads who don't wanna really 🗨 Janis: no it ain't Janis: if I owe someone an apology, I say it Jimmy: you might as well say piss off or leave it out, that's what it means, I wanna crack the fuck on as if this didn't happen Janis: I know I should've given you more warning Janis: and I wanted to, but I didn't Janis: so I'm not going to keep telling you all the things I wanted to do or should've Janis: what's the point Jimmy: the point is that you don't need to keep chucking me a word that's just shut up and take my excuses Jimmy: 'cause they aren't, you did what you had to Jimmy: more fake bollocks is only that, fuck all use to me or you Janis: I'm not being fake Janis: I only lied when I weren't here to make being honest worth something Jimmy: it were worth something before Janis: now it ain't Jimmy: that a ? or ! Janis: closer to a ? but you've already answered it Jimmy: the only question worth bothering with is if you're alright and you've still not answered that Janis: I'm here ain't I Jimmy: not what I asked though Jimmy: I'm here an' all, don't mean I'm 😁 about it Janis: that's the point Janis: how can I look like anything but a spoilt brat when you want to go just as bad but you can't Jimmy: Do you need somewhere to stay or what? Jimmy: while I'm stuck here you can Janis: no I can't Jimmy: you heard me just say you can Jimmy: not a bloody me vs you for who's more 🎻🎻 Janis: I've had worse new years Janis: if you can believe that Jimmy: me an' all 💔 as missing that party were Janis: yeah Janis: Grace didn't go either Janis: 💀👑💬 Jimmy: just come over if you need to, fuck's sake Janis: how's that gonna work then Janis: on any level Jimmy: you pick if you want the sofa, a bed or the trampoline and then you go 😴 on it Janis: alright, I've got a vague idea how sleeping works Janis: 1. your dad exists 2. so do your siblings 3. and you, soz to put you last as per Jimmy: 1. but he don't matter 2. they've been waiting for you to wheel your suitcases in since they heard about you existing  3. why would I offer if I were bothered about having you about Jimmy: had worse people under the same roof Jimmy: @ every Sharon Janis: 'cos that's the low bar I wanna step over Jimmy: I'll compare you to my ex if you'd rather Jimmy: what could be more #goals Janis: why else would the kids be expecting it Janis: good for that too Jimmy: 👍 Janis: anyway, you do realize we'd have to fake it like 24/7 Janis: I'll figure something out Jimmy: who for? Janis: 👦 Jimmy: he's not gonna @ anyone Jimmy: 🐕 might Janis: yeah he will Janis: on the tin can to say the wedding is SO off Jimmy: I'll let you in when he's 😴 if you're that 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: I'm not scared Jimmy: you know where I live, Jasmine, make up your own mind Janis: can I say thanks or will you get fuming again Jimmy: piss off Janis: thought so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I reckon my grandparents might let me stay Janis: I haven't spoke to them yet so we'll see, yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: give me a bell on the tin can 📞 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: or get Gracie to tell me, if that's your new favourite method Janis: 😒 Janis: come on Janis: needs must Janis: didn't have your number Jimmy: won't spread it about that you didn't memorise it soon as I gave it you Jimmy: be a right mixed message for the fans after all your tweets and that a bit ago Janis: I'll tattoo it on a digit I can stand to lose if you want Janis: made the emergency contact list a while back Jimmy: what's the plan, dramatically 🔪 the little one off next time you break a 🤞? Jimmy: very 🎭 Janis: alright Bill, put him back on Janis: I went off script, so shoot me Janis: make you feel better Jimmy: do what I can to rein him in but it looks like he's missed you Jimmy: or the back and forth at any rate Jimmy: just me and him's a bit Janis: glad someone has Jimmy: offered you a 🐕 and 👶's full attention but you didn't fancy it Janis: not what I said Janis: aren't meant to take someone up on their offer when it's too much Jimmy: weren't offering to chuck everyone else out and give you the 🏠 Jimmy: calm yourself down Janis: thank god Janis: makes it all alright Jimmy: you're making it weird Janis: how am I Jimmy: it's just somewhere to go Jimmy: nowt else Janis: yeah, I know Janis: I'm not saying it means anything more than it does Jimmy: it's too much were what you said Janis: like, you don't know what you're offering, not too much like I don't think it's 👍 that you did offer Jimmy: what about not thinking I were thick a bit ago? Janis: I don't Jimmy: then how do I not know what I'm going on about Janis: Okay Janis: if I need a place to crash, I'll make sure I 💬 you first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What are we going to do about Lucas though Janis: that's what's really important Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's tricky, don't want to extend the time spent Janis: but we need to make it as 😈🔥 for him Jimmy: we can hack 💀👑's 🎄 don't get more 😈🔥 than that Janis: ugh, should've got him a present Jimmy: still time Janis: you got art today? Janis: make him a bowl for his keys Jimmy: 💔 I don't do woodwork, could've knocked him up a tie rack Janis: missed a trick Janis: I've got bio Janis: could...bring him a dissected frog? Jimmy: could ALWAYS make him a ☕ Janis: you wanna be his favourite, I get it Jimmy: easiest way to get the ☠ in Jimmy: wanna be Bill's fav forever Janis: you are stuck with him for that long Janis: and 👔🏫 breath is already that bad so go for it Jimmy: what if he comes back as a 👻 an' all? Janis: he is bitter and can't let go of the ex Janis: tracks Janis: let me drain him Jimmy: I can't, he'll taste so bad Jimmy: not that fuming at you Janis: good to know Janis: I'm trying to remember what gets him 😤 😠 😡 🤬 on the scale Janis: beyond seeing me RUINED Jimmy: 🗨 Janis: yeah Janis: 🔊 and 📱 Jimmy: I'll do you some paper planes to go with your boat Janis: 🥇🤡 things Janis: that will piss him off, especially with your aim Jimmy: should practice my 🤹 you're right Jimmy: but there's nowt wrong with my aim, happens to every 👴 when they have a piss, that, shut up Janis: makes me want to move in right away Janis: 😏 Jimmy: job done Janis: your poor sister Janis: it's probably the only plus to having majority sisters Jimmy: don't @ her Jimmy: she ain't a fan of  🎻 Janis: bit weird Janis: if anyone is in her DMs chatting about piss she needs to 🚨 Jimmy: *🥊 Janis: that too Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: goes off the fuming scale an' all Janis: yeah, I know Janis: wasn't taking the piss Jimmy: funny Janis: ugh Janis: shut up Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: still waiting for my 🏆 you keep saying it Janis: if you can piss into it I'll be impressed Jimmy: easy Janis: then I'll find you one Janis: don't do metalwork 💔 Jimmy: no point making you promise if you won't cut your finger off so 💔 right back Janis: when did I say I wouldn't? Jimmy: ages ago Janis: I was the one who suggested it Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: I told you I've got the needle, you bring the ink Jimmy: give us something to do that ain't writing whatever lines Lucas wants to read back when we've pissed off Janis: I dread to think how close to the bone he's gonna go Janis: I MUST NOT BE A MASSIVE SLAG Jimmy: closer than me with that needle Jimmy: don't tell Bill but I might rip off that film and write Lucas a 💌 Janis: 👸 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: that's you Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: fuck off is it me Janis: 🏃 is me and I don't even want to be Jimmy: I forgot about him Jimmy: you can have that Janis: yeah, exactly, dickhead Janis: he's boring and he's got daddy issues Jimmy: I'll be the mute lass who you only 😍 when she takes her eyeliner off Janis: fits Janis: what you'd look like if you were a girl/one of your coworkers Jimmy: piss off Janis: tell me I'm wrong, 'cos you'd be wrong Jimmy: I'm saying nowt to you, dickhead Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more 😍 than the gobby ginger, suppose Jimmy: If I leave it out with the dandruff desk 🌨 for my 🎨 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: stop at the sugar sandwich Janis: That's alright Janis: know you're a fat bitch Jimmy: might start a fake pregnancy rumour but I'll make sure they know it's my 🥧🥔🍺👶 sharpish Janis: so not only am I lesbian, also got a dick Janis: 👌💡 Jimmy: Oi, never said it were yours, sir can step up and be a man after he's sacked Janis: well that's just rude Janis: stop pushing me out the picture dickhead Jimmy: you left, Jules Jimmy: we were all 💔🎻😭 Janis: I'm literally right here Jimmy: where's 💀👑? Jimmy: #scaleupdates Janis: 😣 hurting her head trying to work out why my sister didn't show Janis: 🤯 when she invents the story to tell the rest of the gals Jimmy: alright, and where's the physics classroom? Jimmy: I've got today's 🎨 for you, didn't bother to draw it on my desk so you might as well have it Janis: [classroom #] Janis: would've been gas if you picked up and stole the desk but she'll still be 😭 😤 Jimmy: hang on, I'll re-do it Janis: you can still give me the paper one Janis: as well Jimmy: for when some dickhead draws all over your face Janis: I don't know about that Janis: I just want it Jimmy: okay Janis: though I do look forward to seeing the charming contributions from the fans and the haters alike, obvs Jimmy: 😈 Janis: so many 🍆s Jimmy: [my idea is he's drawn her sleeping and adorable curled up on the sofa with Twix or something because of that bit of the convo so however long it would take him to redraw that on a desk and then he's bringing it for a casual desk swap lol hey everyone] Janis: [everyone SHOOKETH, the teacher like hello??? we'd wanna kiss him so bad but settle for a hug hun] Jimmy: [likewise his teacher and classmates ?? where you going boy] Janis: [the casual drama y'all have caused, love to see it] Jimmy: [that hug would be everything though] Janis: ['til you get separated for stealing tables and defacing them lollollol but seriously SO intense] Jimmy: [should we put him isolation for a bit to mean they literally can't see each other until detention and ramp up the tension?] Janis: [definitely] Jimmy: [we'll have other chances to do awks shared lessons I'm sure] Janis: [naturally, this makes better drama] Jimmy: [soz not soz to Mr Lucas for that vibe in detention] Janis: [you'll probably love it perv lmao] Janis: you got a spare 🔑? Janis: I'll let your dog out at lunch time Jimmy: [different locations where he's hidden them so Cass can't find and deliberately lose them all how she do] Jimmy: Tah Janis: fair's fair Janis: I'll 📸 so it's #goals Jimmy: 💀👑's story can't, she don't have enough fans Jimmy: hatewatch'll only get you so far Janis: [OBVIOUSLY publicly answering the DMs of what happened because we know the fans would and like OMG LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT 'cos probably getting so over-dramaticized as it do] Janis: I've got it Janis: [publicly name and shame Ella with an anon she clearly wrote like 👀 you] Jimmy: I forgot #2 were about Janis: didn't we all Janis: she survived xmas 😱 maybe they got her to eat a sprout Jimmy: 🤞 it were a 🥄 of horseradish Janis: if her oesophagus wasn't burning before Janis: #festivebants Jimmy: cracker pull heart attack or nowt, tah hun Janis: 👴💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: speaking of, this school got a nurse or just the therapist? Janis: think the receptionist knows first aid and that's your lot Janis: why? Jimmy: probably not 💡🥇 to chuck desks about Jimmy: but I'll live Janis: soz to hear that Janis: you can't really tell 'em, it'd be less of a decent excuse to go home and more of a let's talk about home 🙄 Janis: hang on Jimmy: @ Helena Jimmy: fact she ain't in here for dealing is a pisstake Janis: but actually though Janis: we've got PE next Janis: I'll get you some Jimmy: not just gonna let you in here, we're too starcrossed Janis: I can scuff a blister or two under the door as I walk past Janis: I'll just tell you when I'm gonna so you can walk to the bin or whatever the fuck Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: you be alright 'til then? Janis: she's too thick for physics and be a bit obvious if I run in and snatch her bag so Jimmy: lesson's near over Jimmy: dunno what took me longer, your hair or the 🐕's Janis: so nice, you Jimmy: yeah, I know Jimmy: loads of lads would've found a lass with shorter hair to be their muse Jimmy: or left it unfinished Janis: you're SO brave Janis: and I've got no scissors to hand so Janis: have to stay for now Jimmy: meant to be me being psychologically fucked by the isolation, girl Jimmy: no need to do yourself a wonky fringe Janis: 😂 Janis: as if Jimmy: stick with your Q&A Janis: you sent a question in? Janis: stay tuned Jimmy: 'course I have Janis: how 😍😍😍 have you been? Jimmy: you tell me Janis: [go answer that for the #fans] Jimmy: [obvs send her another one cos that bitch] Janis: [flirtbackandforthletsnotlie] Jimmy: [we've got a LOT of feelings but also walls up now honey, gotta keep it 'safe' and 'fake' lol lol] Janis: [ah the joys] Jimmy: these 💊s gonna make me 😴 or what? Janis: if you're lucky Janis: they shouldn't knock you out proper though Jimmy: that were your luck, Jenna Janis: know yours ain't as good Jimmy: 🌧🌧🎻 Janis: still get your head down Janis: only thing isolation's good for Jimmy: you done 🗨 to me then? Janis: nah Janis: not got your 💊s yet have you Jimmy: I meant when I have Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want me to stop talking to you? Jimmy: that's what I just asked you Janis: not really Jimmy: so what are you telling me to 😴 for? Janis: because you're in pain Janis: and must be even more bored than I am Jimmy: got no dickheads doing my head in, I'm #thriving Janis: true Janis: PE is going to be a joy Jimmy: I get that it goes against how 💪🏆🥇 you are but Jimmy: just don't go Janis: where will I go instead Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: take you one sec to 🏃 there from here Janis: bit rude to you Janis: I go and have an actual 😴 Jimmy: the 🐕'll never let you Janis: but it might be 🏑 Janis: go for the shins Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna recreate my 🎨 Jimmy: pressure, that Janis: don't wanna be a bad imitation, of course Jimmy: if you're not up to the challenge Janis: 'course I am Janis: cheek Jimmy: prove it Janis: fine Janis: got to get your stash first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [do that and get going 'cos you know he wants to talk to you and so you obvs wanna talk to him too so we is] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: only need 1 at a time, remember Janis: or you will 😴 Jimmy: alright Janis: trust, they're good Jimmy: I remember you rated them when you stopped denying they were needed Janis: weren't gonna leave poor Helena is pain for the craic purely Jimmy: oh soz, didn't realise you rated her an' all Jimmy: chuffed for you that you've got a new best mate Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off Janis: just don't want her to @ me with her back surgery bill Jimmy: she a 🧠 📖 an' all? Jimmy: SO much in common you two lasses Janis: fake date her then Janis: never catch her walking your dog Jimmy: with her back? do mine in trying to get her to do owt Janis: exactly, stop trying to palm me off onto her, she's shit Janis: and fakes injuries, which is #gal behaviour Jimmy: Bit late for Ella to crack onto her for #inspo Janis: probably say she's got back problems 'cos she's a fatty Janis: can't see it being 💕 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: alright, cupid Janis: bit early for that holiday Jimmy: can't help being a romantic Jimmy: written in the script Janis: some would call it hopeless Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: @ Bill with your criticisms, sweetheart Janis: not a criticism Janis: just observation, babe Jimmy: meant to be 😴🐕💕 you Janis: let me get in the door and walk the fucker Janis: why you want me to go sleep so bad? Jimmy: just open the door for it, don't matter Janis: It's alright Janis: literally my job Jimmy: 🐕 won't pay you Janis: freebie Janis: she'll tell her mates Jimmy: what mates are them? even our kid's toy one reckons she's a twat Janis: 😱 Janis: you bastard Jimmy: a lass who don't know her place, under this roof, she's got nowt but enemies, OBVS Janis: why you want me to come over Janis: one on side Jimmy: that'll be it Janis: 🐶📱 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's sweet really, just needs putting in her place Janis: sorry to out your lack of skills @iantaylor8 but multiple Sharons for a reason babe Jimmy: not something I'll get a 🏆 either Jimmy: you'll have to do it Janis: it's not hard, the basics like Janis: and you won't have to be all 😡 🤬 to keep it up either Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: @iantaylor8 Janis: if the impression was anything to go by Jimmy: it were 🥇 Jimmy: but if you're gonna do owt that'll make his life easier Jimmy: you know how the rest of the sentence goes Janis: I dunno if I'm so 🥇 I can get her to be 😇 for you lot and shit in his shoes still Janis: but I'll give it a go Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: just 'cos she's 😱 of him, don't necessarily mean she respects him most Jimmy: Bringing back all those memories of the good old days with my mum for him Jimmy: be a bit awkward when she pisses off an' all Jimmy: brb mate just going down the park Janis: all women are the same Janis: definitely don't look inward Janis: my dad and all his bitches and even more brats Janis: entrapment, every time Jimmy: not having a game of mousetrap, you prick, not that he's about for #familygamenight to get that top bants Janis: but he really TRIED to be there, apparently Janis: if he's that shit at it he's gotta have that many go's, not worth fuck all really Jimmy: won't 🤞 on meeting his 👻 Jimmy: have to give a shit for there to be unfinished business Janis: why bother when you can get a woman to do that for you and all Jimmy: if only I'd met Pete sooner to palm all ☕🎨 off onto Janis: If only we'd ALL met Pete sooner Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Janis: I won't distract him from doing all your work 🤞 Jimmy: he's mine, back the fuck off Janis: that's how it is Janis: some mate Janis: and he's currently miss things so race is on Jimmy: the kind of mate who stops you 1. making a twat of yourself 2. getting a slaggy rep Jimmy: you're welcome, babes Janis: so you get to be the slag of the group? Janis: convenient Janis: jokes on you 'cos we all are some of us are just less obvious about it, SWEETIE Jimmy: DUH you were the massive virgin Lucas were grooming Jimmy: keep up with your own #narrative, hun Janis: fuck off Jimmy: as fake nice goes, not your best Janis: yeah well Janis: you ever actually heard them? Janis: pretty shit too Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: neither can they much longer Janis: can't wait 'til the big one snaps Jimmy: who's your 💰 on? Jimmy: Tammy's all 😭  tiktok mimes, be there til the bitter end Janis: be nice if #2 rose up and took her place as 👑 Janis: Bill would be thrilled Janis: probably Asia though, by accident Jimmy: 🗨 in the wrong chat one too many times Janis: exactly Janis: her next boyfriend is an actual undercover cop Janis: 🚨 Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: Oh Bill Janis: he don't know it's a bit 😬 to get a 15 year old with a 45 year old now, let him off Jimmy: WHAT?! IT IS! OMG Janis: you know your 💕 for Lucas is forbidden, babes Janis: that's what makes it 😍 DUH Jimmy: but not OURS! everyone's obvs gonna get #overit after a bit of murder Jimmy: 👴💔 Jimmy: fuming there's no happy ending coming WTF Jimmy: ???!! Janis: #awks Jimmy: least this 💊 is good Janis: 😁 Jimmy: I should be fake dating Helena, you're right Janis: now you know Jimmy: soz but 👋 Janis: at least make it convincing Jimmy: steady on, need my 🐕 walked first Janis: you can pay for it next time Jimmy: still mates rates though? Janis: is it? Jimmy: that's my question Jimmy: you gonna be too 💔😭🎻 about me and her or what? Janis: Helena, with her back problems? Janis: I think you 2 are made for each other 👴👵 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: SO happy for you Jimmy: Tah, Jolene Janis: 👍 Janis: enjoy your meds Jimmy: loving being able to breathe, like Jimmy: and thank god, 'cause who knows if she'll fancy a 💀💀💀 pact Janis: always a bonus, like Janis: you can convince her Jimmy: dunno about that Jimmy: only as inspiring as my muse, me Janis: a girl with a death wish is so hard to come by Jimmy: have to have the 💊💊💊 as my muse instead of her Janis: bit played out but what ain't Jimmy: yeah Janis: I'm glad they've helped Jimmy: how long'll it be for? Jimmy: easy 🎯for Lucas like this Janis: they've got better staying power than your average paracetamol Janis: but take the other one tonight and you should sleep well too Janis: I reckon GP might give you like a weeks worth, if you asked Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 if you've knackered it Janis: she's a 👶 Janis: more stamina Jimmy: how old do you reckon it is? Janis: you don't know? Janis: still under a year, definitely Jimmy: how would I? Janis: whoever your dad got her off should've told him, at least Janis: people lie sometimes though, you're not meant to take them before they're 8 weeks, at least Jimmy: might've, don't mean he's told me Janis: if he comes back for lunch I'll ask Janis: providing he doesn't 💀 me Jimmy: can't promise the 🐕'd save you Jimmy: but I would Janis: for yourself Jimmy: he don't get to 💀💀💀 you, no other dickhead does Janis: no one else Janis: that's the 🤝 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: better tell Helena Jimmy: not @'d her owt yet, it's alright Janis: let me finish my Q&A first Janis: look a bit stupid otherwise Jimmy: [obviously gonna send her more because we're in our feelings] Janis: [run to the 'fake' hens] Jimmy: [do we wanna bring up the kids party before the detention TENSION or after?] Janis: [ooh, hmm...I think after?] Jimmy: [break the inevitable awkward silence after how intense that'll be, makes sense] Janis: [and you'll have more of a reason to do it, like we KNOW you would anyway but it is flimsy at best so we'll give you that] Jimmy: [it's just tricky rn cos I want you to talk til then but don't wanna break the awks lol, oh lads] Janis: [it'll still be awks 'cos you've only seen each other so briefly actually IRL] Jimmy: [it's okay boy you can still have your guard up even if you accidentally get too feelsy] Janis: [we know the vibes] Jimmy: [not like it's never been a headfuck before or you've never gone back on anything so] Janis: [or won't have to again] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do you wanna chat more or skip a bit?] Jimmy: [I don't mind if we carry on cos we've slayed it so far] Jimmy: Get Ian to make you a 🥪☕ if he's knocking about Janis: He ain't so far Janis: but I know where the kettle is Jimmy: 🐕'll have just the one sugar Janis: she don't need no more Janis: even after this epic game of fetch Jimmy: if your 💪 hurts I've still got this 💊 you can have Janis: ha ha Janis: save your breath and meds boy Janis: I'm good Jimmy: I get it, you don't want me to @ Helena for no more Janis: maybe I don't wanna go through her bag again Jimmy: long as I don't bring you any more desks, won't you need to Janis: 💔 Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: could've had a career in removals Jimmy: you could be a careers adviser Janis: wow, my dream Janis: thanks so much!!! Jimmy: get to hang about the staff room, know you'll love that Jimmy: 👔🏫💕 Janis: the happy ending we're all 💭 of Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: one of us'll get one Janis: you'll be well happy with your new missus Janis: 🥴 from all the 💊 Jimmy: not planning to use 'em for 💔 Jimmy: or get in that many 🥊 Janis: yeah Janis: but Helenas pretty annoying Janis: you'll need 'em Jimmy: never spoken to her before, no need to start now Jimmy: 💪🔇 type, me Janis: she doesn't know any sign Jimmy: good Janis: bit rude to teach me some and then ❌ me Jimmy: lessons don't have to finish an' all Janis: I will have to talk to Bobby Janis: after the wedding of the century, like Jimmy: and you said your cousin might need teaching Janis: that too, actually Janis: if nothing else she can call her mother a shithead Jimmy: don't need either of us for that, Libi'll sort it Jimmy: I'll still knock you some lessons now though, got nowt else on Janis: talk me out of all my roles, it's fine Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: how old's she? Janis: erm, gonna be 4 soon, I think Janis: she's never spoke Jimmy: I'll start with the proper basics, asking for owt she wants Janis: yeah, anything would be helpful Janis: got to be frustrating as hell Janis: thanks, by the way Jimmy: [sends her videos of him signing and pictures he's drawn of the hand gestures etc all that good stuff] Janis: they let you do that instead of Irish, yeah? Jimmy: if it were that easy it'd be a pisstake Janis: obviously, I mean that's cool though Janis: more useful than Irish, any rate Jimmy: you should ask if you can swap Jimmy: love's young dream Janis: yeah right Janis: they'd love that Jimmy: I get it, you're worried you'd look a twat not keeping up, but I won't let that happen Jimmy: not the kind of mate I am Janis: just don't reckon any teacher has got the goal of us spending more time together Jimmy: don't have a teacher, it's all online bollocks Jimmy: no other dickhead's got the same set of excuses as me Jimmy: or the new boy ✨ obvs Janis: the handicap of being English, yeah Janis: I hate Irish, so I could ask Janis: dunno if they'd go for it Janis: but 🤷 Jimmy: what were it you said about the shots you don't take? Janis: 🖕 Janis: deserved maybe but 🤐 Janis: you don't just wanna get out of teaching me yourself, by any chance? Jimmy: I like teaching you Jimmy: don't mean I'm any good at it Jimmy: got no coffee breath or shit ties Janis: it is essential to be 🥇 Janis: but you aren't bad at it Jimmy: do have enough sob stories to go on about, all sir were bothering with, we might be alright Janis: you're good Janis: showing Libi too Jimmy: What do you wanna 🗨? Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: Put me on the spot Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: but go on Janis: I could ask you to sign anything right now Janis: only got the 🐕 for company, here Jimmy: in isolation here, challenge accepted Janis: who they got 'keeping an eye' on you? Jimmy: Ms Burke Janis: they would Janis: slip her a pill if she manages to notice fuck all then 👍 Jimmy: she's already sedated herself, you can crack on with your request Janis: alright 🤔 Janis: how many go's do I get? Jimmy: how much do you wanna say? Janis: how do you say 'loads' Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [send it back like ta-da] Janis: what about 'fuck all'? Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [do that, swear words are always funny lol] Jimmy: [and always the first thing you have to find out yourself cos teachers don't want you to know] Janis: how would I say Janis: 'Janis is the best at everything' Jimmy: [signs it calling her a bighead instead but cos he's saying it at the same time she obvs knows even if he hasn't taught her before which he might have] Janis: oi Janis: bloody rude Janis: how am I meant to trust your teaching skills? Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: [do it properly though boy] Jimmy: I've just fingerspelt your name, Jules Jimmy: your sign name depends if you're talking to our kid or me Janis: might be handy to know my real name Janis: so I don't look like a total muppet Jimmy: [draws out the alphabet and sends it like see if you can do it] Janis: [give it a go, gal, do his as well] Jimmy: [show her how to do whatever adorable sign name Bobby has for you jimothy because you're his fave person ever and he would've thought of it as a bub] Janis: bless Janis: far as nicknames go Jimmy: [show her Ian's because it'd be so lowkey shady, casual bub sass] Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll deffo use that Jimmy: [show her yours for him which is obvs even shadier like that's the one I use] Janis: he must LOVE that Jimmy: about as much as when I call every Sharon mum Jimmy: would call him worse if I weren't mostly signing to a 6 year old Janis: Not your fault you're confused, tbh Janis: you can get out the really obscene shit now if you like, I won't clock half of it anyway Jimmy: [does obvs but without saying it too so she and Ms Burke can't clock it] Jimmy: probably meant to use the names our kid does any road as he's the deaf one but Jimmy: so creative, me Janis: got to make sure he keeps practising, yeah Janis: not the kid, obvs Janis: also some of that looked like you was having some kind of seizure, how gone is miss rn Jimmy: she'll be 😴 before either of us Janis: 🙄 and we actually need it Jimmy: you @ your nan yet or what? Jimmy: done some lessons for Libi an' all Jimmy: [send that through too] Janis: nah Janis: it's gonna be a whole conversation and I'm meant to be 😴 Janis: but I will show Libi those, and NOT the ones before, note to self Janis: needs no help with her filthy language Jimmy: 🎅 is still #SHOOK Janis: too #SHOOK to add her to the naughty list Jimmy: 😏 Janis: show me how to say some goals shit then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [do that back] Janis: what about 'I missed you' Jimmy: you did mean #goals, yeah? not Jimmy: I dunno 🤓 flirting Janis: you don't know when I'll need to flirt with a deaf nerd Janis: go on Jimmy: [show her] Janis: [do that with purpose hen] Jimmy: [we're all just in our feels trying not to die rn] Janis: show me something you wanna teach me Jimmy: [show her how to say please because there are so many saucy but also feelsy uses and connotations for that] Janis: [do it loads of times, like could be #bants could not be] Jimmy: you're good at that one Janis: 😇 Janis: manners are well important Jimmy: what about Jimmy: [do 'stay' because of course we are] Janis: [do it and combine the two 'cos duh] Jimmy: There you go, that deaf nerd ain't going nowhere til you're done with him Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: have to 🔎 one first but hey Janis: prepared now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bet that's something you could do, too Janis: teach that 💰 Jimmy: how many jobs do you reckon I've got time for, girl? Janis: I know Janis: I want to be able to move out as soon as I can though Janis: don't you? Jimmy: soon as I can ain't as soon as you Janis: right Janis: he's 6 Janis: rough Jimmy: it don't matter what I want Jimmy: or how 🎻🎻🎻 it is Janis: you reckon he'd ever let you have him, even a bit earlier Janis: after uni, or whatever Jimmy: only if it suited him Janis: yeah Janis: that's what you want? if you've got any say, hypothetically Jimmy: both of them away from that twat Janis: it gets your sentence down to 6 years Janis: instead of 12 Janis: still more than the 3 I'm 🤞 for but Janis: who knows where you'll be, might be somewhere less shite Jimmy: ⚰ Janis: no good to either of 'em then Jimmy: not meant to be my job though Janis: I know Janis: don't matter though does it Janis: like you said Jimmy: only to the orchestra Janis: he's not gonna be the 'kick you out at 18' type is he Janis: not whilst you're useful to him? Jimmy: answered that yourself, Jasmine Janis: stop him getting a permanent Sharon Janis: that's your main job then Jimmy: stops himself Janis: true Janis: loads of desperate bitches Janis: 🐶💕 Jimmy: he'll kick me out if my sister ever stops being as fuming as him Jimmy: makes for a shit babysitter Janis: yeah Janis: get that Janis: probably alright on that score Janis: if it ain't genetic, it's well ingrained Jimmy: tah for not saying hormonal like I thought you were gonna Janis: if I was alright with throwing that about, may as well join shit nan's church group and call it a day Jimmy: 💔 for the hot priest you won't Janis: she might see if he's alright to do an exorcism Jimmy: far as date nights go Jimmy: I'm chuffed with that Janis: don't remember inviting you to shout bible verses at me Janis: chuck some holy water about Jimmy: but I wouldn't miss it Jimmy: have to grab my long lens if nowt else Janis: 😏 Janis: keep you posted on if I'm saving my soul or nah Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: my 📷s are in my room if you fancy a go Janis: fun Janis: and you're sure you've left nothing incriminating out, yeah Jimmy: sure I'm not bothered Janis: and I'm not a snoop Janis: ask my customer's owners Jimmy: chuck us their @s Janis: um Janis: soz, line went dead there Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: con- what- hello??? Jimmy: alright, dickhead 🏆 Janis: thank you Janis: 🙇 Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: never said I were that impressed Janis: disgusting Janis: get you in for the next exorcisms at this rate Jimmy: his and hers Janis: so #goals Janis: though she'll hear nothing of it Janis: you're a LAD and can do whatever you like Jimmy: *good 🙏 lad now Janis: so you say Jimmy: depending who's ? Janis: me, dickhead Janis: who else Jimmy: you know the answer, dickhead Janis: sign it if you're embarrassed Jimmy: piss off, nowt does Jimmy: you know that an' all Janis: 🤘 that Janis: ain't it Jimmy: what? Janis: 😈=🤘 Jimmy: right Janis: could be calling you 🐮 suppose but context Jimmy: 🐐🔪 bit of a step down for us Janis: so immature Janis: 👶🩸 or bust Jimmy: sounds like you're asking me on another date, that Janis: and? Jimmy: and alright, I'll find and kill a 👶 with you, obvs Janis: 😍 Janis: you always know just what to say Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: [does the thing about her being the best again] Jimmy: exactly Janis: [do his name like you too] Jimmy: dunno about giving me 🏆 for everything Jimmy: won't get out this door Janis: much as miss would love that Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: it's Ms, get it right Jimmy: Dead mysterious, her Janis: will not respect her pronouns, soz Jimmy: til she keeps a more decent bottle stashed none of her choices are valid, I get it, pisshead Janis: look, if she wants to let the married teachers know she's damaged enough to cheat, that's her lookout Janis: but miss and sir saves remembering their names and they need to deal Jimmy: 😂 Janis: please call me Ms Cavante from now on, tbh Jimmy: bit of roleplay Janis: 🤏 Janis: just gonna set you homework Janis: be dead disappointing Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 nowt else were expected Janis: 😣 oi Jimmy: change my mind Jimmy: if you reckon I'm wrong Janis: easy Jimmy: to say Janis: wait and see Janis: Detention Jimmy: have to wait and see what ends up on my 📷 an' all Janis: yeah Janis: you can give me critique but Janis: you won't wanna Jimmy: make me sound like a right dickhead Jimmy: not working for the 🎨 department Janis: you only wanna be student? Janis: but you LOVE moonlighting as a professional 45 year old Jimmy: just don't wanna dress like miss for the roleplay, won't do nowt for either of us Janis: 😂 Janis: please don't Janis: I've left my fringe alone Jimmy: 🚫✂ Jimmy: not to use on yourself any road Janis: 😏 Janis: do you think that's an appropriate way to talk to a teacher? Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: that'll be why I'm in isolation though Janis: yeah, with MS Burke Janis: not me Jimmy: if we get rid of Lucas, detention is Janis: if I come back now before PE is over, I'll have time to prepare something Janis: a distraction Jimmy: did you have your 🥪☕? Janis: why? Jimmy: what do you mean why? Jimmy: before you go Janis: I'm good, don't worry Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: you don't need to ask Janis: I know how to get myself lunch Jimmy: you don't need to be a dickhead Janis: you neither Jimmy: I'm not Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I washed up, it's fine Jimmy: told you, the rubber gloves do nowt for me either Jimmy: not a #kinkunlocked Janis: not trying to be but I've not trashed your house if that's what you reckon Jimmy: what would I reckon that for? Janis: Dunno, what it sounds like though Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: not gonna do the 🐕 out of a job, she don't pull her weight as is Janis: she's asleep at the minute but no promises you won't come home to a disaster from her obvs Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: say night to her Jimmy: [signs it and sends that] Janis: she got that Janis: said night babe Jimmy: 💰 on you translating that one wrong Janis: um, you heard Janis: basically a dog whisperer Jimmy: save it for the fans Jimmy: that's the fake bollocks they 😍 Janis: how dare you Janis: not out here saying you make a shit cuppa Jimmy: 'cause I don't and you or her ain't that good at lying Janis: my biggest job atm is literally lying how am I not Jimmy: not about ☕💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: you've really taken personal offence yeah Jimmy: any northerner would do Janis: 💔💔 Janis: soz for disrespecting your culture Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 😒🌧 Janis: I am Janis: so serious Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: that a dog whisperer secret? behave like the 🐕? Janis: rude Janis: just 'cos it's not racial don't compare me to a dog Jimmy: rude that you don't wanna be like your new best mate Janis: you're the one that wants a new bestie Jimmy: bollocks Janis: @ Helena Jimmy: @ her 💊s Janis: I can get you 💊s Jimmy: and I could get them myself if I were that bothered Janis: why are you getting rid of me then Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: to you or Helena Janis: don't Janis: we're still mates, aren't we Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I fucked up Janis: not very mates #goals Jimmy: I'm not 💔🎻😭 over missing the party, I said Janis: I know Jimmy: you can do what you like, it's nowt to do with me Janis: 'Course I can Janis: but a heads up would've been good Janis: not like asking for a lot, I'm not thick Jimmy: heard you had a lot on Janis: still Jimmy: you don't owe me owt more than you made Grace give me Janis: alright then Jimmy: didn't expect you to be gone that long but it weren't owt to make it look like you weren't, like we said Janis: and I didn't expect to have to take off that fast Janis: don't mean it didn't leave you in the lurch just 'cos it was unavoidable Janis: felt it, whatever Janis: so there, have it Jimmy: I don't want whatever 🏆 you're trying to give out right now Janis: it's not Janis: for me or you Janis: just what it is Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to accept a sorry but I do have to say it Janis: it's done now though so Janis: don't need to be 😬 Jimmy: if you mean it as you won't fuck up again, I'll take it Jimmy: it's just not what most dickheads use it for Jimmy: might be a northern thing an' all Janis: that's the goal Janis: promising as much would just be 👍 until proven bollocks and I don't wanna do that, fuck that Janis: but if I have to go again, I'm going to make sure I give you warning and whatever else would help it not be such a dickhead thing to do Janis: but 🤞 Jimmy: you're a dickhead, don't ❌ your whole brand, mate Janis: 😏👌 Janis: like being charming is yours Jimmy: when I have to go an' all, I'll be charming with the 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: is a bit rich but there you go Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you'll not be sending postcards to say soz Janis: and fat use if you do Jimmy: I'll be sending 'em for the 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: daily thing, that Janis: yeah obvs Janis: makes it alright Jimmy: it were you who told me to keep on Janis: just saying Jimmy: what? Janis: why am I apologizing? Jimmy: weren't me who said you had to Janis: well I'll take it back when you fuck off then Jimmy: why wait? Janis: 'cos I'm not a dick Jimmy: if you're gonna take it back then it don't mean fuck all now Janis: and yours won't mean nothing even if you sent it every day Janis: be even Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: 'cos you're going for good, don't matter how soz you may or may not be Jimmy: and you coming back don't mean you won't piss off again, might be for good an' all for all I know Jimmy: that's about you, when I go it won't be nowt to do with me Janis: 1. you want to go, that's not nothing to do with you, own it at least 2. yeah, I wanna be gone as well but that ain't why I left then, for fun Jimmy: 1. you don't know what you're going on about 2. I never said it were Janis: 1. it's all you've said since you've been here, that's what I know 2. pretty much did but whatever Jimmy: 1. what I've said is that I don't give a fuck where I am, every shithole is the same 2. you weren't thinking about nowt but yourself is what I meant Janis: 1. yeah, exactly 2. got to do what we've got to do Jimmy: yeah we do, they're got somewhere they wanna be and I don't, ignoring that would make me a massive twat Janis: it's alright Jimmy: It's not and I don't need you to chat bollocks to me that it is Janis: for you Jimmy: *for them Janis: nah, for you Janis: sorry I don't have younger siblings to give me a fake reason to live Janis: I don't have to be selfless, that ain't my fault you got no other choice Jimmy: I'm not gonna sit here and write you a massive list of who might give a fuck about you pissing off and why, fake or real Jimmy: there's a whole scale between being selfless and not being a fucking dickhead Janis: Good, be a massive waste of time for us both Janis: it isn't the same, so you don't get it Janis: they need you, no fucker needs me, end of Jimmy: you heard me say do what the fuck you like then Janis: I don't need you to say it but tah Jimmy: I got that you don't need nowt from me, don't worry Janis: be stupid to Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: far as fake reasons to live go, you reckon I've already got mine Janis: you do it if you want Janis: why should I Jimmy: no fucker needs you, you said, if that's what you reckon, if this is all a waste of time, that's why you should Janis: because that's not why we're doing it Janis: it's to stop people wanting us Jimmy: Why did you even bother asking if we're still mates? Janis: why did you bother saying it in the first place? Jimmy: it ain't me who's going on as if I don't have an inbox full of dickheads Jimmy: if that's what you're doing it for 💔 for you Janis: not what I asked Jimmy: but there's your answer, I said we were mates 'cause we were Janis: that'll be why I asked then Jimmy: if nowt matters to you but your DMs, there's no need to ask Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: not what I've said at any point Jimmy: it's what you just said Janis: I said that's what the plan was about Janis: not that it's the only thing I've got or give a shit about, but thanks Jimmy: what it were about, yeah Janis: there's just Janis: fuck it Janis: need to get back for next lesson Jimmy: didn't need the update but tah for it Janis: whatever Janis: go away then Jimmy: see you in detention then Janis: hooray Jimmy: you can leave that out Jimmy: Lucas is the only one chuffed Janis: I can be as well Janis: all I care about, after-all Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: really Janis: what a revelation Jimmy: shouldn't be Jimmy: I've said it loads of times now Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: yeah, you're fucking annoying Janis: I knew that Jimmy: dry your eyes then, mate Jimmy: got lessons to go to Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Janis: I just got back Janis: and you can't make me Jimmy: could do but I ain't THAT selfless Jimmy: soz to piss on your carefully crafted narrative Janis: what, that everyone hates me and wants me gone? Janis: not that tragic Janis: not being needed isn't being wanted 💀💀💀 Janis: it's not a sob story, if anything, makes this all a lot easier Jimmy: tah for spelling that out for me Jimmy: now I can FINALLY get my head round it I'm BEYOND chuffed for you Janis: yeah, make it more convincing next time around Janis: that you understand, that is Janis: don't need your blessing either, OBVS Jimmy: if there were anyone around I might bother Jimmy: don't need your 🏆 Janis: fortunate Janis: be a real shame Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: just like that, yeah Jimmy: no need for 👏👏🌹 either Jimmy: it's all the same bollocks Janis: yeah, there's no need for any of this Janis: yet here we are Janis: deal with it or do something about it Jimmy: do it yourself Jimmy: I've got enough to deal with, my sob story that you keep going on about as if you've got it all memorised Janis: and? Janis: I don't give a shit, do I, 'cos all I care about is myself Janis: not mates, never were Jimmy: and I don't need you tell me I've got no fucking choices Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm not telling you anything, or trying to for that matter Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we better skip honey] Jimmy: [oh this detention] Janis: [oh lawd, in a mood now] Jimmy: [the 😒 isn't just his face rn honey] Janis: [just sassing into this room they've had you in all day boy, by sassing I do mean storming lbr] Jimmy: [whatever he's meant to be copying out we all know he's really doing v unflattering pictures of Mr Lucas because how we be feeling rn we don't care how much trouble we get in or what happens] Janis: [the lecture you're gonna get about ruining the school trip like it weren't a million years ago, like let it go babe] Jimmy: [we've lived a whole rom com life since then sir so obvs Jimothy is just 🙄 feel free to give him a lecture about that if you want hun] Janis: [we know the way neither of you gives a single fuck is gonna infuriate him so much, also saying she sits in front of Jimmy so she doesn't have to look at him] Jimmy: [make him have to look at your hair and the temptation of having her back to write on, love that] Janis: [mhmm, did that on purpose, at least we know full well Lucas is the type of dickhead to be like ooh you had a lovers tiff 'cos they're both in such a mood so it gives us an excuse to have to fake a bit like fuck you] Jimmy: [what an absolute dick, we all know the type] Janis: [think he's being bants 'cos everyone always takes the piss out of him and own back but no, really obviously passing back a note that's SO extra and lovey-dovey but also talking about what a loser Lucas is] Jimmy: [send the drawings with the reply you do because she'll enjoy them even more now that he's being SUCH a dick] Janis: [the laugh we're barely stifling like hope you have to come and look at these hun but also they'd be genuinely funny] Jimmy: [also shamelessly passing her gum or sweets or whatever we have that we're not meant to be cracking out now like love you gal] Janis: [blowing bubbles with the gum to be that bitch like we know you're gonna begrudgingly have to stop her 'cos you're such a perv] Jimmy: [glad Jimothy can't see that from his angle because how distracting] Janis: [can see when we go to the bin to take it out and we spit it out just as suggestively, maintaining eye contact and winking like it hasn't been a million years] Jimmy: try not to die boy because that would get to you under any circumstances never mind these when it has literally been the longest you've not seen each other since you started this] Jimmy: [obviously gonna maintain the eye contact like it's nbd but] Janis: [coming back and doing that thing where you like hold and stroke their cheek as you turn to sit down like so casual] Jimmy: [the restraint it would take to either not make a SOUND or flinch away when she did that which are obvs his two conflicting urges, but what we actually do is play with her hair as she does that like it's a choreographed scene and in the hopes that she'll then be in the same boat as he is] Janis: [obviously we are, even if our flinch reflex is out because we're proving something here, leaning back in your chair so your head is practically on his desk and he can keep playing with your hair, at least until you're told to stop then the most dramatic UGH like ffs sir living my best life here] Jimmy: [playing with hair until that last possible second because 1. it's a fave 2. it'll annoy sir 3. it's something you're so used to doing and can get lost in as if it hasn't been a million years/everything isn't so shit rn] Janis: [gonna go some texts 'cos also duh and if he does see it'll annoy him, even if it means losing your phone for the duration when he do] Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: [a selfie doing it because it'll annoy Lucas that he took one if he sees and also like I know you can't see my face rn and you're so gutted about it] Janis: you're so hot Janis: [such a dramatic wistful sigh 'cos trying to get caught, nothing more OBVS, but Lucas is probably trying to ignore you two now like stop it] Jimmy: you Jimmy: [and obviously an even louder one back that's of course only for the same reason lol] Janis: [just play a lowkey game of boogeys with that which could get so indecent lmao] Jimmy: [Sir is gonna need a minute ™] Janis: [truly lmao, we're just trying not to crack up 'cos it's so serious of course] Janis: wish we were in here alone Jimmy: [write out a saucy little scenario for what you would do if you were that I honestly hope Mr Lucas will see at some point because OBVS that's the only reason we're saying any of this yep] Janis: [step it up sir, when you've got an hour of this and you wish you'd never bothered lowkey loooooool] Janis: I know a way, if you really want it Jimmy: ? Janis: Maybe I should make you wait for it though Janis: [not wanting to send texts that don't sound real/flirty rn 'cos the goal is him reading them, obvs, but trying to get across like do we ACTUALLY wanna be alone or nah] Jimmy: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: I probably won't get away with another selfie Janis: That's good Janis: how could I say no to that face Jimmy: or owt else in my 📷 roll Jimmy: there's loads of really convincing shit in there Janis: his rant did remind me Janis: of how many 📷 we took on the trip Janis: and the ones we didn't Jimmy: feels like ages ago Janis: too long Jimmy: when's the next one? Janis: [ask Lucas for his HA! of a reaction] Jimmy: [we loling because we shall openly mock you and your lack of authority sir, don't give a fuck] Janis: [honestly, like okay babe, looking forward to all the team building and shit] Janis: you'll still wanna be my partner by then? Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know how I feel about that Janis: I like when you tell me though Jimmy: 👀 or 🗨? Janis: show me yours I'll show you mine Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: [make a big performance ™ of writing on her back so Lucas can't fail to notice but we don't actually have to say anything we're probably just drawing a 🏆 or something like well done for this 'fakery'] Janis: [acting like that tickles way more than it ever actually has and going to turn like you're gonna make out or something but obviously getting stopped and probably moved a few desks away or something] Jimmy: [waits until she's been moved and then 'accidentally' spills a shit load of water everywhere like oops must be because I'm so distracted rn relatable isn't that sir and then the whole rigmarole of having to sort that out would make Lucas be fuming like he's either gonna have to also move Jimothy or leave to get shit to clean that up with] Janis: [probably just trying to move him and then being like NO SIR THAT'S A SLIP HAZARD like we are so concerned and how dare you at least get a wet floor sign] Jimmy: [off you go dickhead, give them a minute to breathe and be real but also an excuse to have to make out or something which is perfectly timed for your return] Janis: [should say something creepy about them seeming like they want him to see because the looks you'd give him/each other are sending me] Janis: think he's actually having a break from reality Janis: 😕 Jimmy: get the school therapist on the 📞 Janis: might leave you alone then Janis: 😡😡 Jimmy: be nice if everyone would Janis: [asking Lucas if he knows the school therapist lady in such an obvious way like she's trying to matchmaker them] Jimmy: [chiming in because #teamwork honey, I'm sure Lucas is shooketh because this is probably the most Jimmy has ever said] Janis: [casually a bit terrified, bless but not at all sorry] Jimmy: [I like to think from where she's sitting now they can send each other so many LOOKS but also looks like oh sir] Janis: [for sure] Janis: wanna be impressed? Jimmy: depends if you mean by you or sir 😏 Janis: oi 😂 Jimmy: go on Janis: I bet you I can get us out of here for good in the next 15 minutes Jimmy: and if you don't? Janis: You get whatever you want, of course Jimmy: can't lose Jimmy: I'll be timing you Janis: [having a text back and forth with someone that ain't him obviously and then waiting] Janis: [so my idea is when she was coming back into school she keyed his car up and has now text Sophie who's in some kind of after-school club to go to the office and tell them she's just found it 'cos she's quite good so we're not suspecting her of doing it then going to inform them, so someone from the office coming in within this timeframe to be like um hey 'cos he probably has some wanky mid-tier sports car and will be FUMING] Jimmy: [LOVE THAT] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING (lbr when are we not) at him when Lucas has run out in a fluff like ta-da 'cos had that planned since we came back baby and now they can just leg it 'cos he's distracted as hell] Jimmy: [THE LOOK he would not be able to stop himself giving her because that's impressive as hell like he'd honestly probably also go to kiss her and then be like -] Janis: [casually not moving or breathing for ages like he might still do it, as if he didn't just stop himself, but then going in her bag and pulling out a hoodie that is not his but Ian's and handing it back 'just in case the CCTV caught shit' and shrugs like we know it didn't but may as well look like a middle-aged dude if not] Jimmy: [chucking it back at her and gesturing to wherever she keeps the lighter he gave her like feel free to burn it because fuck Ian] Janis: ['was on the back of a chair' like don't think I've gone through his wardrobe or something weird 'knew it weren't yours' and such a face feel the shade sir, offering it out for a bit longer but nods and takes it back like alright, makes no difference to me] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling at the shade face in spite of everything because it's so important and makes you so happy and relieved that she's always been on your side about him] Janis: ['maybe he'll think it was Ian, kill the bromance' like we're just talking not to be awkward now 'cos you know you could just walk out] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤞 but crosses her one over the other instead of doing it with his own because we just have to touch her to prove we can and it's fine after the near kiss] Janis: [such a wary smile 'told you I'd show you' in a quieter voice than we've been using but not quite whisper level] Jimmy: ['yeah' likewise soft about it] Janis: [going to walk but not just going, like are you coming or] Jimmy: [obvs we are and we do and we're lighting both of us a 🚬 as soon as we can because she's earnt that] Janis: [just smoke that in silence 'cos at least we know how to do that] Jimmy: [mhmm, though he would go to say something at least once] Janis: [trying not to be too !!! but obviously we want him to say something, doing a feelsy lean as we walk like what] Jimmy: [obvs we're doing it back because always 'can we just-' what boy] Janis: ['yeah' like whatever it is, we can 'cos sincerely mean that] Jimmy: [looking at her like lowkey 😍 lowkey amused because we know she means it even though she doesn't know what we mean and like when does anyone ever care or support us like this] Janis: [pushing him really gently with our next feelsy lean like oi, 'cos you're aware it sounds a bit thirsty but you don't actually care so 😏 'you know I've got nothing else on, why not'] Jimmy: [pulling her as gently closer to him because we just can't help ourselves and taking a big breath likewise because this is all so hard having abandonment/trust issues but also loving/missing her as much as we do] Janis: [speaking really quietly 'cos proximity but also we must 'cos we're so unsure of what to say or do in terms of fixing anything 'I probably said some things I shouldn't have?' as a question not to be annoying but like we truly wanna know as is our confusion but hugging him like earlier 'cos must] Jimmy: [a lil scornful noise an himself like hard same babe 'me an' all' and after he's hugged her for the longest time ever writing 'you' on her but then putting a line through it like it's not your fault 'I'm the dickhead'] Jimmy: [*at] Janis: [shakes her head 'call it a draw, just this once' like we're both 🥇 on this score, going to explain loads of times but the complex emotions never mind the story that's so involved lowkey so we just don't, enjoying being near him again like it's all new 'cos it's been so long] Jimmy: ['I meant what I said before, alright' does not elaborate for what would feel like ages excuse him 'if you need to stay at ours, you can, the rest is just...' trailing off because we obvs mean is not as important as being safe etc] Jimmy: [but we can't say bollocks because it's not] Janis: [just waiting for that like what what what then softening when he does say it 'I know you meant it' and squeezing his hand like !!! thank you but we're not gonna outright be like yes absolutely 'cos we feel like it's not even that bad, even though we HATE being home there's not like a valid enough reason because shit nan isn't always there or whatever] Jimmy: [hug her again but then obvs your feelings are too high so you're like 'I should-' and nod in the direction of your house boy, like remember those siblings I have no choice but to look after] Janis: [straighten up like 'right' but not trying to come across as disappointed as we are 'cos not that bitch so smiling 'got catching up to do with customers as well'] Jimmy: ['piss off then' but soft not like fuck you bye] Janis: [waving like bye as you go but 'see you later?' just as you're about to 'round a corner or whatever] Jimmy: [I love that he's the one who said he should go but has lowkey not moved LOL just a look like do you wanna see me later as if that's not obvious] Janis: [stopping like you really not gonna answer, as if this whole street is watching and waiting lol] Jimmy: [signs 'see you later' like we're so put upon but we're clearly amused] Janis: [does it back best we can but does 'I missed you' 'cos got that down] Jimmy: [we wanna do it back but feels are getting too high again so we just nod like well done gal you have got that down and do whatever 🤓 is instead] Janis: [🖕 but in a bants way and you must go now] Jimmy: [😏😘 because we love it but yeah fuck off both of you please]