#henry marsh

[mysterious-secret-garden]

Henry Marsh - Bishop Hatto and the Rats, ca. 1866–67.

[luxe-pauvre]

Besides, when you are operating you do not want to distract yourself with philosophical thoughts about the profound mystery of how the physical matter of our brains generates thought and feeling, and the puzzle of how this is both conscious and unconscious. Nor do you want to be distracted by thinking about the family of the patient under your knife, waiting, desperate with anxiety, somewhere in the world outside the theatre. You need to separate yourself from these thoughts and feelings, although they are never far away. All that matters is the operating and the self-belief it requires. You live very intensely when you operate.

Henry Marsh, Dissolution Foretold: Neurosurgeon Henry Marsh on the Reality of His Own Diagnosis

[luv4kokafox]

Do No Harm - Henry Marsh

Rating : ★★★★ / ★★★★★

Do No Harm is one of those books that EVERYONE will tell you to read if you're considering entering the field of medicine or something close to that.

In reality, this book doesn't teach you anything about medicine itself (unless you're willing to look up every other word), but rather the ethics and mindset of a surgeon in theatre. Think of it as placing yourself in Marsh's shoes for a number of short stories within his life.

Would I recommend a read?

TL;DR : yes!! Though it doesn't act as a textbook, it is definitely a good read if you're interested.

The 'too-long' section:

To pick up this book, you have to be in the right mindset, at the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you'll give the book a bad impression of a slow and boring read as soon as you start. I won't sit here and say that I understood every word written in this book - but if you are an aspiring surgeon or you take an interest in the brain / tumours, it can definitely help you in your future endeavours.

If not, the book does tend to give general explanations of words that aren't common, but there are a few instances where an acronym is thrown into the mix and I had no idea what was going on. Overall, it was a good read at times but a sleepy one at others.

If you're applying to universities or careers in medicine, and you're wondering if reading this book will give you an advantage, maybe. Only if you can write / speak about it in a sense that GIVES you that advantage. For example, showing that you've had an interest in science and medicine for a long amount of time, or you are passionate about the subject so much that you made extra time on the side just to read it. It is a very common book to be read and recommended, so keep this in mind. I would definitely not pass up the opportunity to get my hands on it if I were you.

[quotesengage]

Neuroscience tells us that it is highly improbable, that we have souls, as everything we think and feel is no more or no less than the electrochemical chatter of our nerve cells.  Our sense of self, our feelings and our thoughts, our love for others, our hopes and ambitions, our hates and fears all die, when our brains die.  Many people deeply resent this view of things, which not only deprives us of life after death but also seems to downgrade thought to mere electrochemistry and reduces us to mere automata, to machines.  Such people are profoundly mistaken, since what it really does is upgrade matter into something infinitely mysterious that we do not understand.  There are one hundred billion nerve cells in our brains. Does each one have a fragment of consciousness within it? How many nerve cells do we require to be conscious or to feel pain? Or does consciousness and thought reside in the electrochemical impulses that join these billions of cells together? Is a snail aware? Does it feel pain when you crush it underfoot? Nobody knows.  from Do No Harm by Henry Marsh

[earnestlyeccentric]

And Finally: Matters of Life and Death

Author: Henry Marsh Rating: 1/5 Neurosurgeon Henry Marsh finds himself becoming the patient and grapples with his diagnosis of prostate cancer. Spoilers ahead. Continue reading And Finally: Matters of Life and Death

[foxandcatlibrary]

33rd Book I Read in 2024

Title: Do No Harm

Author: Henry Marsh

Notes: Super interesting book! I believe the author has at least one more book published, so I will try to get my hands on that as well later.

[watercress-words]

ADMISSIONS-a brain surgeon's memoir- a review

a new book review on the blog to share with you, ADMISSIONS, a memoir by neurosurgeon Henry Marsh

Admissions: Life as a Brain Surgeon By Henry Marsh Admissions is the memoir of Henry Thomas Marsh CBE FRCS, a retired British neurosurgeon (I understand surgeons in Great Britain are usually addressed as Mister instead of Doctor.)   Mr. Marsh shares his thoughts and feelings as he reminisces over his distinguished 40-year career of performing intricate lifesaving brain surgeries. Don’t let the…

[lucycore]

Pov: If u were in the Bowers Gang or Losers Club

—

Tell me which one u'd pick and also if u wanna see a male version.

Bowers Gang:

Losers Club:

(Idk I got bored and did it. I'm definitely Bowers gang lol)

[bella-goths-wife]

How platonic yandere bowers gang view you

Warnings: smoking, violence, weird relationships, obsessive behaviour, yandere tendencies, reader is a bad person objectively

Henry:

Henry’s view of you varies on his mood

Sometimes he views you as something of an equal to him because of his narcissistic tendencies convincing him that the two of you are equally intelligent despite you clearly being the smarter one by a landslide

On the days where he sees you as an equal, he almost views you as his right hand woman

Your an extremely honest person, something that would usually put a target on your back with the bowers gang

But your honesty is another thing that appeals to Henry

You don’t sugarcoat your opinions about his actions and your too bored to lie and spare his feelings when he does something stupid

And while there are some days that Henry will become aggressive with you because of your honesty, most of the time Henry appreciates that you don’t fear him enough to hide your opinions

On the days where he views you as his right hand woman, you’ll replace Patrick for the day as Henry orders you to follow him around and basically just help him in his antics

Which you do, even if it’s at the harm of other people

You don’t particularly care either way, not in a psychopath way but more of a bored just by existing way

But it’s not like this for you all the time considering that your the only girl in the group and your much younger than them, there are some more unkind days

There are some days where because of your age and gender coupled with your inability to look after yourself properly, Henry will view you as the bottom of the food chain and you’ll be treated as such

You’ll get the vic treatment as your mocked constantly, unlike vic though you’ll actually respond back with snark or just fight back more in general

That usually just ends up with you getting some kind of unusual punishment

On the days where your the bottom of the food chain you’ll basically be treated as Henry’s personal assistant as you do his homework and cook and clean for him

You wonder why you even stick to this agreement sometimes but the protection that Henry and the others provide is worth it

Plus they’re less boring considering they’re unpredictable

Patrick:

Patrick views you as a challenge, something he can attempt to manipulate and break

And he gives it his best go

He’ll pull out all the stops in an attempt to get you to fall for one of his tricks or to cry at one of his cruel insults

But you just won’t

Your intelligence makes it almost impossible for you to fall for his manipulation

And sometimes you’ve tried to fake falling for it, but you just couldn’t because it was all so obvious to you

But that only spurs Patrick on

He’s a psychopath, he thrives on watching people act out emotionally to make up for the lack of his own emotions

But you don’t, you don’t show many emotions if he’s honest

Maybe he feels something similar to relation between you because of that

Maybe you could relate to him and why he does what he does

Maybe your like him?

He does treat you more affectionately then he does with anyone else as he’ll put his arm over your shoulders as you walk to platonically be affectionate and show the people around you that your protected

And he definitely views you as a challenge, but only his challenge

If anyone else did anything similar to what he does they’d be killed before the sun could rise to the sky

So in short your treated better than in the ballerina au but still treated pretty badly

Victor:

Victor views you as someone who’s finally below him on the food chain

For as long as he’s been part of the bowers gang, he’s always been the bottom of the food chain and the one whose given shitty jobs and constantly mocked

With you around, he’s free from that fate

He can finally experience what it’s like to have someone to look down on and to laugh at

But he’ll do all this in a sickly sweet way

He’ll condescend you and talk down to you like your stupid, like your IQ isn’t miles higher than his is

He’s the one who coined your nickname ‘smarty’

It started originally because he mockingly called you smarty pants to humiliate him but then he quickly took to just calling you ‘smarty’

Eventually the whole gang started calling you that to mock you but it just ended up becoming your default nickname

You didn’t particularly care about vic mocking you, in a way you sort of pitied him

Because he thought he was higher up in the food chain then he was, and it was slightly pathetic in your eyes

You felt bad for him so you allowed the mockery

But vic’s views on you clashed sometimes as sometimes he viewed you as some sort of naive little lamb considering you couldn’t really fight and you were a heavily picked on freshman girl

So he wanted to guide you, something you also allowed because you pitied him

You fulfil his need to be needed and you feed his ego in the meantime

He’d talk to you sweetly like you were a young child and explained obvious things to you like you were just a babe in the woods

But he also beat up anyone who tried to hurt you, so you allowed it for now

If he pushed his luck anymore though, you were sure you could figure a way out to separate him from the group or just manipulate him into doing something incriminating to get rid of him

Belch:

Belch views you almost a little sister figure

He was the first one to meet you and when you met you were nothing but nice to him, even if you delivered your kindness in your usual monotone manner

You were obviously smarter than him, but you never made him feel bad for it and you never shamed him for knowing less than you

You’d even help him in your spare time, you’ll try and encourage him to complete the work himself before you did it for him

Belch enjoyed spending time with you, he rarely got kindness in his life and even with your abrupt and blunt manner you were always nice to him

So he’d protect you from harm and would purposely seek you out at free times just because he wanted to spend time with you

He even got you some small games to play under the desk for when you got bored in class, which you did regularly because you already knew everything being taught

Belch also views you as someone he has to provide for

Belch is very well off, his family is quite wealthy in comparison to his friends

You on the other hand, were not

You were in the foster care system and living in a group home with twelve other kids and a shitty caretaker who barely registered if you were there or not

And belch always noticed how hungry were looked and how tired you always seemed

So he started inviting you back to his home since his dad worked all the time and he had a fridge full of food

You made a meal that night and you wolfed it down in record time, confirming belch’s theory that you weren’t being fed well at all

So you started going to his house a lot more, during one of these times you mentioned how you struggled to sleep since it’s so noisy where you were living

So belch started to offer for you to stay over in one of the spare bedrooms, which you agreed to after a bit of force from the rest of the gang

You practically moved in with belch after that, sleeping at his house most nights

His father had met you at this point and liked you enough to allow this so belch started insisting that you stay more and more until the spare bedroom become your unofficial bedroom

Belch then noticed the state of your clothes and how worn down they looked, and wordlessly he got approval from his father to spend some money on getting you new clothes

When he gave you them you couldn’t help but give him a small hug in thanks

Belch enjoyed providing for you, it felt nice to have someone for him to take care of

It made belch realise how lonely he was before you, and it made him thankful to have you

You practically living with him also made you more likely to accept the bowers gang manipulation and rules

People don’t give belch enough credit sometimes, he was a lot smarter then people thought

Not smarter then you though

[thelosers-club]

people are always like “haha why do you love IT so much?” Um they.theyre kids and theyHad to learn at10 years old.not to be afraid even when they are.and they um they love each other and. childhood innocence coexistinf with deep trauma./$and they.Mentally ill

[princess-glassred]

Imagine an IT au thats entirely from Henry's perspective so all of the losers club act like how he thinks they are instead of who they actually are.

Mike is like a coniving super villain who's just WAITING for the chance to jump in and ruin Henry and his dad's life for no reason. He revels in the idea Henry gets beaten at home and is somehow responsible for every single bad thing thats ever happened to him. He does all this on his father's behalf (which is totally not Henry projecting at all... totally).

Beverly is just the ultimate hoe who is so utterly obsessed with him she can't stand it. She's so incredibly into him and desperate. She says shit like "omg Henry... ur mullet... 😫🤞💞💓💖💗💔❣💘💝" cause she just can't contain her lust for that... specimen.

Stan is just a boring hunk of wood, you could replace him with a cardboard cutout and nothing would change. Occasionally he'll just say "I'm jewish" and that's it.

Ben is always eating, everytime he shows up he's always engaging in some truly disgusting display of gluttony, like smothering cane sauce and cheese on a bacon burger.

Richie is the most annoying guy ever, picture normal Richie cranked up to 11, that's how Henry thinks Richie works. Lots of lol so random humor, incohetent screaming, and when hes not doing either of those hes being super super gay. Like IT happens at the rockwell level gay.

Eddie is also super zesty, when he's not whining about dirt he's asking Richie if he looks pretty in heels and painting his nails. You could blow air in his direction and he'd fall over like "UGGGHHH i've fallen and i can't get UPPP!! 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 .

Bill is just the epitome of a wojack, you know how when people usually imagine winning an argument and their imaginary opponent is all "but- bu- bu- bu- bu-!!"? Yeah, that's how he views Bill. Just coping and seething that Henry is right about everything 24/7 and also cooler and hotter and smarter and simply better than him in every conceivable way.

[luxe-pauvre]

I have always felt fear as well as awe when looking at the stars at night, although the poor eyesight that comes with age now makes them increasingly difficult to see. Their cold and perfect light, their incomprehensible number and remoteness, the near eternity of their lives are in such contrast to the brevity of mine. Looking at my brain scan brought the same feeling.

Henry Marsh, Dissolution Foretold: Neurosurgeon Henry Marsh on the Reality of His Own Diagnosis

[hockstetters-overbite]

Basically, since they aren't in the scene they were somewhere else, clearly. My ask is what do you think they were up to? :)

OHHHH, a headcanon post! I kinda figured, my bad lol! I really gotta make a format for people to send in for these lol!

- Me personally on the fourth of july I think the gangs parents get together for a cookout or somethin since in my previous headcanon I’ve made the gang into childhood friends!

- I think they’d all go to Henry’s house because come hell or high water there’s no god damn way Butch is letting someone else grill those shitty hotdogs and burgers

- We have Patrick chasing henry around the yard with either those pop thingies that snap when they hit the ground or firecrackers

- Belch absolutely demolishing 7 hotdogs and Victor holding his and Belch’s sparklers in his hands

- also Henry’s punk ass cousin Connor is there, god i fucking hate connor..He’s also a victim of the fire crackers and pop thingies except he’s slower than henry so he actually got hit lmfao

- Butch is definitely getting drunk off his ass as per usual when he’s off grill duty, Patrick and Vic’s dad probably join him to yell at some type of ball sport and the wives get to gossip about whatever’s going on in Derry currently!

This set of headcanons was pretty fun to imagine ngl lol! I’ll have that format for headcanons asks soon! For now, with headcanons just specify it’s a headcanon ask lol

[quotesengage]

In neuroscience, it is called the ‘binding problem’ - the extraordinary fact, which nobody can even begin to explain, that mere brute matter can give rise to consciousness and sensation. 

from Do No Harm by Henry marsh 

[marshbevvie]

Ben and Vic are giving us all a speech on how to be cool. Trying to listen bc it’s Ben but.. Patrick was speaking in brainrot while taking pictures. So we’re dying.

[greenandsorrow]

IF THE MONSTER UNDER YOUR BED NEVER HURT YOU, MAYBE IT WAS THERE TO PROTECT YOU. 🎈

Pennywise bonding with a teen!reader/ platonic

-> I decided to write this more like a casual narration, for the storytelling vibes. Also, I might have tried to pull a "going back and forth in time like I'm S.King", so not everything will be crystal clear from the get-go. Hope you enjoy and feel free to interact!!!

-> I tried to keep the reader gender neutral, but the fem pov came more naturally to me, so I apologise if it takes away from the story for some of you.

-> Pennywise the Dancing Clown: A trans-dimensional entity that shapeshifts and feeds on the fear -and sometimes the flesh- of kids and animals. IT hibernates for 25 to 27 years, then wakes up for 12 to 16 months, manipulating reality and slipping past the notice of adults.

Listen to: Five Years by David Bowie

~ 1 ~

1979 Derry, Maine

A family of three moved to Derry, for the father's work. Maine has its fair share of factories and the average person here doesn't mind getting their hands dirty, if it means paying the bills.

You were twelve when your family settled in an amiable house in Witchham St.

You may be seventeen now and you may have embraced the Losers' Club almost like a parental figure... But that wasn't the case five years ago.

When you first moved to Derry, you were twelve.

It was that same year you attended the annual Derry Funfair -Pennywise's favorite time to wake up. How could it not be, with so many kids out after dark... The Derry Funfair. The perfect hunting ground for the entity. That fateful night, you saw him for the first time. You call IT a 'he' because in the form of a clown, IT feels like a 'he'.

The air at the funfair was thick with the smell of popcorn, sugar... and something faintly metallic. As you walked through the crowd, laughter rang out around you, along with the loud music coming from the speakers far above your head.

You spotted the Ferris Wheel turning slowly against the darkening sky, each of its blinking lights reflecting in the deepening puddles scattered along the path. The Carousel line was snaking on that very path. You always loved how the painted horses glistened under the soft glow of the carnival lights...

Fed up with a group of cocky twenty-somethings, you slipped away from the fair, eventually finding yourself by the bridge for a moment of peace. You liked the breeze and the faint smell of night-blooming flowers. You still do.

It was quiet, until you suddenly heard a distinct sort of giggling. You also spotted a single, shiny red balloon floating toward you, bobbing against the wind. The hairs on the back of your neck prickled. Chills ran down your arms. Instinct warned you that something was very wrong.

That night, in your rush to escape and flee back to the fair, you left your hairbow at the bridge.

Later, as you looked out the window of your father's car on the ride home, you looked back and saw him -an enormous figure in a dusty, faded clown suit, watching you, waving slowly at you. His face was ghostly pale, almost like porcelain, with eyes that gleamed a strange and unsettling shade of amber. Those eyes seemed knowing, as if they could peel back every thought and fear inside you. A painted smile stretched across his mouth, far too wide and framed by rows of teeth that looked far too many, like something out of a nightmare. Wisps of reddish-orange hair framed his face, stiff and wild. The ruffles around his neck were yellowed with age, their edges fraying.

The suit itself was old, streaked with grime. Large, oversized pom-poms lined the front in an even row. And yet, despite his faded, worn appearance, there was something disturbingly vibrant about him. It was as if he wasn't really standing but rather waiting -waiting for you to wave back at him.

Even from the safety of the car, a chill had crept through you, and somehow you knew that he was still watching long after the car had turned, his gaze following you all the way home.

That night, when you woke up thirsty from all the popcorn you'd had at the fair, you wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. There, neatly placed beside the sink, was your lost hairbow -the same one you'd bitterly cried over after realizing it was missing.

Two days later, you returned to the fair with your parents. You felt happy. You were carefree. You were stupid. You couldn't resist looking for the clown who had waved at you... You had a strange feeling that the balloon belonged to him... It was the shame shade as his painted lips. You also had another, even odder feeling that he had somehow been the one who returned your hair ribbon.

Eventually you found him. The clown waved again and this time, you waved back, even managing a smile. But when he extended an unnaturally long arm, gesturing you to come closer, you were smart enough to keep your distance. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his voice, soft and coaxing, whispered your name.

Strangely, your parents didn't seem to notice him, neither that day nor the first time you'd seen him...

It was July. You didn't see the clown again until early autumn, right around the time you started feeling nervous about your new school.

That summer, he haunted your dreams night after night. They'd start innocently enough, not like full blown nightmares -you'd find yourself back at the fair, wandering through empty stalls. The colors were brighter -somehow too bright- and the air too thick. Then, he would appear. A clown in the distance, his wide smile aimed straight at you. You'd try to move, to turn away, but somehow, your feet kept inching closer.

In those dreams, he told you his name -Pennywise-, his favorite color -red- and his favorite food -cotton candy-. You remember telling him that you knew he was lying, that he wasn't just any clown. After that, the dreams stopped.

1984 Derry, Maine

You think back to all that as you blankly stare at the pages of your math book, you think back to what belongs in the past, but your mind drifting off to five years ago is more than justified.

People in town are noticing things these days, though no one says it out loud. There are hushed conversations about kids going missing -George Denbrough included-, strange sightings near the sewers, and that eerie feeling you get walking through Derry alone.

The old-timers say things aren't right this time, that it feels different somehow. You overhear a few whispers that maybe this time, it's sticking around longer. And the worst part is that you know why. You know why even better than your younger friends do...

Since last autumn, you've gotten close to Bev Marsh. She sees you as the older sister she never had. Bill lives right across the street. You babysat him and his little brother, Georgie, over the summer. But since Georgie's death in the Fall, you and Bill have drifted apart. Stanley… well, he may or may not have a crush on you. You know him through Bill -he's a good kid. Eddie Kaspbrak, same way, also through Bill. Thank God he gets some fresh air with his friends -you've heard his mom isn't the easiest. Then there's Ben, your reading buddy from the library. Richie Tozier? You two got into a fight once, over which Led Zeppelin song is the best. And Hanlon, he nearly knocked you over with his bike the first time you met.

Another remarkable mention? Henry Bowers. He is a year younger than you. Sure, the guy's a bully, but oddly enough he and his friends never caused you any trouble. And I say 'oddly enough', in the same way Derry's misfortunes oddly enough never seem to touch you. The bad luck that hangs over this town, the accidents, the disappearances, even the craziness... it's as if you've been given an unspoken pass, a quiet immunity no one else seems to have. Even when trouble looms close, you remain untouched, like some silent pact with the shadows in this place.

However, it's not just the gossiping ladies at the grocery store, or the old wise granddads who enjoy sitting on their porches, that made your mind wander to the past with their words.

As of late, your dad started locking the doors at night without explanation and your mom seems anxious, checking the windows like she expects something -or someone- to be watching. They'd never talk about it, but you can tell they sense it too... The whole town feels off, like there's something lurking beneath the surface. Sometimes, you catch a flash of red in the distance or hear a faint giggle that seems to echo from nowhere. It happens often enough that it feels like more than coincidence.

You've started wondering if he's ever really gone at all.

Even your dreams are different now.

More vivid.

In them, you're back at that same funfair... but it feels hollow, like something out of a faded photo. Every creak of the Ferris Wheel, every rustle of the trees ...sounds wrong. Sometimes, you see him waiting by the bridge, his head tilted in that unnatural way. His smile is sharper and more dangerous, as if he's been waiting all this time, keeping a part of you trapped there. You always wake up shaking, heart pounding in your ears.

The worst part is that the closer you get to waking, the darker the dreams grow.

In last night's one, Pennywise had held his gloved hand out to you, as if inviting you closer. You had felt the weight of his gaze, pulling you in despite everything inside you screaming to run. You started to remember that he's taken kids before, that he leaves things behind as markers -ribbons, scraps, things no one else notices... And then had woken up gasping for air.

No matter how much you try to shake it off, the feeling lingers, leaving you wondering if he's still out there, watching you, just as he was five years ago.

For you, fear twisted into something almost exhilarating five years ago... thanks to all those fleeting moments of intimacy when he would whisper secrets, just for you. It was wrong and you know that, but there was a thrill in the danger he represented. You think about the stories the others tell, how they shudder at the thought of him -of IT- while your heart races at the memories of the laughter, of the games. It's a longing that gnaws at you, even as you wrestle with the dread of his return.

It was easier to just forget before, but now the thought of him returns like a shadow. As you flip the pages of your stupid math book, you wonder if he's standing outside your house right now, waiting for you to come back to him, just as you've secretly wished for him to do all these years. Because, it's true, there's a twisted part of you that misses him.

When the Losers share with you Bill's and Ben's theories about IT and how IT came to be, you can't help but recall how Penny would laugh, a sound that echoed like a melody in the chaos of your childhood, dancing on the edge of terror. His voice, with its playful cadence, would weave stories that made the mundane feel magical. You remember how you'd lean in, drawn by an irresistible urge, despite the way your heart raced and your instincts screamed to flee.

Even the memories of those long, shadowy nights away from the comfort of your bed, punctuated by the pulse of adrenaline, stir something within you -an inexplicable yearning for the connection you shared, however dark it was.

You close the book since there's no way you can concentrate on your homework now and instead, you settle on washing the dishes.

Despite everything, beneath that longing lies the heavy weight of guilt and sorrow. 'Penny' killed Georgie and that truth looms over every fond memory you have with him. This is the part you feel compelled to remind yourself: he's a killer, a predator.

To any onlooker, all they would see is a broken girl, haunted by a lost childhood and a shadowy figure that once made her feel alive and seen. You know better than anyone that the line between fear and fascination is a thin one, and that's a truth you'll have to grapple with...

...in the chapters to come.

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