#hence why stan had more dates in high school

[azelmaandeponine]

One thing I noticed is that apparently Ford was more popular than Stan in high school despite still being bullied because of his extra fingers but because of his low self-esteem, he didn't even notice that. Like, thanks to TBOB we find out that he was part of 8 clubs during high school and in the extras for Gravity Falls: The Complete Series, we have an extra of Stan commenting the Episode 18 of Season One and in it Stan admits that Ford was more popular than him during high school. This just shows us how Ford's self-esteem was very low because of the bullying he suffered at a young age and how it affected the way he seems himself.

Yeah. While being involved in clubs doesn't guarantee you friends (speaking as someone who was involved in extra curriculars in high school but had zero friends), he seems to have a crowd that'd tolerate him (going off of canon, Fiddleford seemed to be his only actual friend other than Stan himself).

But at the same time, yes, Ford's low self-esteem made it so he couldn't fathom people. You know. Liking him.

[duskamethyst]

at last.

a/n: in celebration of reaching 200 followers. thank you. i’ve started this piece months ago but constantly failed to find the will to continue whenever i opened the draft. however, the response i’ve received from my other works gave me the drive and i knew i had to finish this.

word count: 4.1k

genre: smut, nsfw, fluff

pairing: musician!semi x f!reader

warnings: mirror sex, soft dom

summary: you and semi are in a band together. though having feelings for the male, you’ve always kept it professional until one night...

“thank you for tonight! you guys were amazing!” you speak through the mic enthusiastically, waving to the crowd as they cheered on and begging for an encore at the same time. “we hope to see your faces again when we come out with new songs soon! please continue to support us! we love you!” your lips curl into a huge smile, stepping off to the back of the stage while waving your fans goodbye before the staff hands you a towel to wipe off your sweat and a mineral bottle to cool off.

it’s another amazing night in a different city for you and the band. the feeling of having people enjoying your music and your voice is overwhelming and to have such wonderful bandmates to join you in this journey for three years now has you feeling beyond blessed.

the band started small, having the drummer and bassist as your high school besties while the guitarist, semi eita was later picked up along the way when one day you blasted on your socials and the small music stores stating the band needed a new guitar player. your band was pretty well-known in the town you live in, showing up and performing at a few gigs and now you’re much more familiar in the industry and often play in different cities. 

semi was one of the few candidates that was chosen to be part of the band. much to everyone’s surprise, playing the guitar wasn’t his only talent. semi was able to write lyrics, produce and sing and that’s what made him stand out among the others. while making the decision with your band mates, you guys knew not to pass up on him and today it proved to be the right decision you guys had made. 

to describe semi eita, he’s incredible. a genius and a sight for sore eyes. hell, he could even pass to be a model if he was into it. you knew that his addition to the band could garner more fans through his skills and looks. on his first night at the gig as the guitarist, you noticed how some of the girls there were ogling him and especially recording him through their phones, even the older woman who was practically forced to be there almost every night by her husband paid more attention (and you believed it was because of semi’s presence) as your band performed. maybe the fangirls could start off by drooling over his looks before they could slowly support the band entirely, hence building a bigger fanbase. 

you feel a little bad for him. you believe that semi is more than just his looks but you can’t really blame people for liking pretty things– it’s only natural. semi has a burning passion for music and what he does and he works tirelessly for the band. he gives his all when he writes lyrics and he uses most of his time by himself inside the studio, learning and enhancing his skills further. you often accompany him in the studio, offering your opinions when he shares the new lyrics he came up with and the studio would be filled with harmonizing voices of yours and his. 

a weird fuzzy feeling engulfs you when you learn that semi had always especially asked for you to join him in the studio and never the other guys, but you alway shrug it off; reminding yourself that it’s only because of work and nothing else.

though no matter how much you try to deny your feelings, you know you’re already head over heels for semi eita.

you sigh and put down your luggage as soon as you walk into your hotel room before looking out at the window to see the fans that were swarming as you arrived earlier begins to dissipate slowly. as you’re smiling and being lost in your thoughts, you start to hear strumming sounds from the other side of the room– undoubtedly semi’s. 

it’s way past midnight and you’re all tired from the tour and the recent performance. while all you can think about is getting inside the tub and having a good night sleep, semi on the other hand can only think about the next show and creating new music. though he’s much more new to the industry compared to you, he works so diligently and it makes you feel a bit guilty and shameful. so you decide to come up to his room and see if he needs anything– or maybe just to persuade him to stop thinking about work and go to sleep. 

“eita, it’s me.” you say as you knock on his door. you hear the strums come to a halt before he opens the door for you. “gosh, you look terrible.” 

it’s only partly true. his hair is disheveled and he only has his jeans on from earlier but you try so hard not to check him out and quickly walk inside his room. semi closes the door as he turns to you, “you’re not asleep yet?” 

“no, i heard you were playing and that’s why i’m here. you know you should be sleeping instead, right?” you sit on the couch where he was sitting earlier. sheets of paper are spread on the coffee table and you pick up the one with the lyrics that he wrote. 

“sorry,” he apologizes as he sits next to you and notices the one that you’re reading. “but it’s good that you’re here too.” 

ignoring the little skip your heart made, you refuse to look at him and read one of the lines out loud in an attempt to play cool.

“i’m alone,

“i just wrote that one in the van earlier.” he scratches the back of his neck as he laughs nervously. his eyes never tearing from you, just watching while you scrutinize through his little work.

i’ve nowhere to go,

but you gently held my hand.”

you smile as you finish reading the last line of his incomplete lyrics and turn to look at him, “i wonder what it sounds like?”

“ah, i haven’t figured it out much but i think it could go like this.” he grabs the guitar from where he left earlier and places it in front of his chest before slowly strumming a few chords. you watch as his fingers sweep up and down across the strings, his black nails that you painted weeks ago are only left with little residues. 

it sounds exactly like you heard in your room earlier. his voice and the tunes he’s making fills the room and it sounds absolutely beautiful. you can sense the longingness in his work this time around, a little different from what he used to play but a little change doesn’t really mean bad– it feels like something that many people can relate to.

you gleefully clap your hands as he stops playing and a faint blush creeps up to his cheeks which he hopes you don’t notice. 

“what’s your inspiration this time?” you ask as he puts back down the instrument.

“well…” semi sighs and leans further into the couch. “someone special to me– the reason i started pursuing this.” 

a heavy lump suddenly forms in your throat, making your stomach churn at the thought of semi having someone special in mind but you quickly shake off the feeling. you’ve always been close with the male, he was easy to get along with from the start and semi would agree that out of all the members, he spent the most time with you; though it's only because it’s strictly on a work basis and you respect that, and you remain professional.

“must be. you’ve never written anything so personal but tell me all about it! you know i won’t judge.” you force a smile, hoping that it’s not too obvious and instead semi laughs at your eagerness to know about his little puppy love. 

“it’s not even that great. i feel like it’s rather ironic– the reason i pursue this is also the reason we can’t be together.” he looks at you as he speaks, as if searching for something.

“damn, that sucks so bad.” you lean back to the couch with him and gaze at the ceiling while imagining the type of person semi would like and start to mindlessly compare yourself to them– putting you down even further.

“you get it, right? on top of that, i think we would lose some fans if we start to date.” he continues as he rests his arm behind your head in a more relaxing manner. he hopes that he emphasized the word clearly so he could get a reaction from you.

however, you only laugh a bit at his consideration. you can already imagine the online articles being bombarded about semi being in a relationship, not forgetting the snarky remarks and lashes he and his partner might get on stan twitter and the thought makes you shudder.

“but i would want to see you happy... even if it’s not with me.” you mumble lowly before realizing what you just blurt out on the last part. “i mean- i mean- i was thinking from a fan’s point of view, of course!”

the sight of you being bashful and constantly avoiding to make eye contact with him is endearing to him. he can’t help but to laugh and it provokes him to tease you instead. his hand creeps up to pull and tuck away the strands of hair behind your ear, instantly drawing your attention to the male next to you. you’re waiting for him to speak but he only stares quietly at you with a gentle smile across his face. 

“what?” you’re surprised at how meek you sound and you know he notices it when his smile turns into an amused shit-eating grin. 

“really? you’d be happy for me?” he asks, leaning his head down on the arm he has hanging on the couch back. 

“um, yeah? since you’re my–”

“friend?” he cuts you off in an instant. “i’d be happier to at least know that you’d feel jealous, though.” 

jealous? you blink and nervously laugh at the poor joke, “why would i be– you’re funny. anyways, go to sleep!” 

semi’s lips tug into a frown as you stand up from the couch and when you’re about to take a step away, semi grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him. he wraps his arms securely around you and buries his face at the nape of your neck, inhaling the very faint scent from your expensive perfume you had on before the show. 

“you’re so close, yet so far.” his hot breath fans against your skin as he murmurs with a hint of frustration lacing his voice. 

thinking not too deeply into it, you disregard the butterflies in your stomach, “yeah, i think you can put that in the song.” you attempt to reply coyly, concealing any suggestions of you being a total nerve-wreck right now. 

“god dammit.” semi curses. he turns your face to look at his, “this isn’t about work anymore.”

“what–” he presses his lips on yours and his arms pull you closer to him which your body wastes no time but to completely melt into.

semi pulls away to take a breath, locking his brown eyes with yours as he speaks. “stop making me feel so lonely.”

“i’m… sorry…?” your apology comes out unsurely, not knowing where this conversation is leading up to and it’s making you feel apprehensive more than anything. there’s no way he’s confessing, right?

semi sighs as he runs his fingers through your hair, “i used to only play the guitar as a hobby but you’re the reason why i even thought about getting into this band.” 

you’re out of words to speak from the abruptness and remain quiet before he continues, “i thought i’d be happy enough just being close to you but i realized i wanted more than that. am i being selfish?”

you break free from his grasps and turn to the blushing male before curling into his chest. semi’s body is still as he processes what’s happening and slowly relaxes as he wraps his arms around you again.

“no, eita, no. you’re not.” you reassure. “i really had no idea.” 

“then, can i kiss you again?” 

“whatever you want, eita.” you mutter under your breath before he gently cups your chin with his fingers and pulls you into a deep kiss. 

for the second time that night, you feel as if you’re on cloud nine as your wet tongues twirl against each other in your mouths. a faint taste of tobacco and beer still lingers on his tongue but you pay no mind to it when you’re too busy drowning into your own ecstasy. 

semi manages to push you down on your back without breaking the kiss and props on his knees before his hands wander all around your body. a gasp passes your lips when he squeezes your breasts against your shirt and his lips move down to nip on your neck. 

“e-eita...” you breathe and the male pulls away to look at you with heavy lidded eyes– and they’re filled with desire. 

“whatever i want, right?” he whispers and you nod your head before he delves back down to litter bruises on your skin. “and what i want is you.” 

warmth surfaces on your cheeks as you hum in response, a subtle reply to tell him that the feeling is mutual. as soon as semi lifts up your shirt, he quickly tips down to tug your bra and latches his mouth on your hardened nipple while his fingers tweak the other. the stimulation causes your body to jolt in pleasure and you can practically feel yourself drenching in your panties.

semi glances up at you expectantly when he notices your thighs are pressed together underneath him. with his other free hand, he lifts up your denim skirt and rubs circles on your clit against the damped fabric. 

you mewl and tug his hair gently as your hips desperately grind against his finger for relief. 

“does it feel good?” he speaks softly. “you’re so wet for me.”

“y-yeah.” you mumble a little bit in embarrassment after he pointed it out but semi finds it to be endearing as he lets out a breathy chuckle. 

“i’ll make you feel even better,” he grins, bending your knees up and spreading them apart. “but i need to hear it.”

you nibble your lip anxiously, “please?”

“please what?” he coos, though he’s already settling his head down between your thighs while he looks at you with passion filled eyes.

your lips feign a pout but your pussy twitches when you feel his finger pulls your panties to the side, “please make me feel better.”

“good enough.” he smirks before spreading your puffy folds and sticks out his tongue to lap off your essence. 

a loud moan rips from your throat as he sucks on your clit and purposely teases it with quick flicks with the tip of his tongue. your legs start to tremble and try to close together but to no avail since semi holds them apart from crushing his head. 

there were nights where he could only touch himself while imagining how you would sound like writhing underneath him but tonight, you made his dreams turn into reality. your moans and whines are like music to his ears and they’re better (and he knows it would be) than what he expected. now semi is driven even more to hear what more beautiful sounds you can produce for him.

semi groans when he slips one finger inside your tight hole and you cry in surprise as you feel his finger brushing in and out through your walls. he can feel that the walls are already sucking him greedily while your hips jerk to fuck yourself with his finger.

“god, you’re so fucking hot.” he grunts, inserting another finger and fucks you ruthlessly. you can feel your orgasm building and threatening to tip over when his finger curls, hitting your g with every drag. 

“fuck, eita–” you pant as your toes curl over the unbearable stimulation and causes your body to shake. 

“feels great, hm? i want you to cum all over my fingers.” he toys with the swollen bud before harshly sucking it.

“mmhh– gonna cum!” your eyes screw shut as your orgasm finally crashes down and your pussy gushes and flutters around his fingers.

your breathing turns erratic and a whine escapes your lips from the emptiness when semi pulls out to lick his fingers.

“you taste so fucking good.” he groans, hovering above you and crashes his lips onto yours so you can taste your own juices from his tongue before he pulls away breathlessly.

“i want to make you feel good too, eita.” you whisper almost innocently and push him back so he can sit down on the couch. semi watches you as you kneel beside him to unbuckle his belt and proceed to unbutton and unzip his jeans swiftly before he helps you release his throbbing dick from its confinements. 

you nearly gawk at the size of his cock; thick and veiny, tip flushing red with a bead of precum. you give a few strokes with your hand and a sharp hiss rolls off his tongue as soon as he feels your tongue swirling around the slit and slowly taking a fair amount inside your mouth. 

“fuuuuck.” he sighs as he sinks into his seat further, eyes closed shut as he lets you take over. you offer the pressure needed by pressing the bottom of the length with your hand and hollowing your cheeks while your tongue runs up and down the rest of his cock, slobbering it with your saliva. 

“oh, fuck– baby. that feels so fucking good.” tears prickle from the corner of your eyes when you force yourself to take deeper into your mouth and his hips jerk when the tip hits the back of your throat. semi’s hand finds itself on top of your head; he makes sure not to tug your hair too hard as he guides you bottom to top and a pop sound is audible when he pulls you away just before he feels like he’s about to cum. 

he wipes the tears from your eyes and kisses you while pulling his jeans and boxers all the way down before continuing to carry you off from the couch with him and leads you to his bed. 

“can i?” he looks at you concerningly and you nod your head yes.

“take it all off.” he commands once he puts you down on the bed. what seemed to be the gentle semi is long gone but his dominating side makes you undeniably excited so you easily oblige, peeling off your clothes until you’re bare and naked in front of him.

“on your knees.” he orders again and you submissively get on your knees but he stops you before you can lean down on the bed. “face the mirror.”

you turn your head to see the large mirror in front of the bed and shift again as he climbs on the bed and props behind you. 

“i want us both to see how pretty you look when i’m balls deep inside you.” he grins.

a soft mewl rolls off your tongue when semi smears your juices through your slits with his cock. he grabs your hips for leverage as he slowly penetrates into your hole and you bite your lip hard when you can feel his girth stretches you out both painfully and deliciously. semi gives you a moment to adjust and after receiving the green light does he begin to move his hips. 

“i’ve waited so long for this.” he growls, black nails digging deeper into your skin that'll be able to leave crescent marks by the end of the session as he pounds his cock into your cunt erratically. 

your cheek is pressed down and your hands clutch the bed sheet as you feel his veins brushing against your walls and his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust. semi’s breathing is already ragged from above you, hips diligently rolling into you as he picks up the pace. 

“look at you, baby– fuck– i’m so lucky.” you moan at the praise, subconsciously feeding to your ego; to be desired by semi and to have semi fucking you into oblivion. 

“s-so good.” you whine, glancing up to the mirror to see yourself but what you’re mostly able to see is the man behind you. his toned abs, ash blonde bangs almost covering his eyes and brows furrowed in focus as he ruts into you mercilessly like a feral beast and it’s fueling your arousal even further.

a mischievous smile etches on his lips as his hazy eyes light up once they meet yours through the reflection, “i don’t think you can see yourself that well.”

you feel your body being lifted up abruptly before he makes you stand on your knees with your back against his broad chest. in front of you, you can clearly see the mess he has made out of you; hair unkempt, pussy slopping and dripping down his balls and the sheets from where your bodies are connected. 

“better.” he smirks through the mirror. both of your eyes fixed on the reflected image ahead; your tits bouncing up and down as he continues to thrust into you while his arm wraps around your torso to hold you in place. 

“so– pretty. my baby– my muse.” he says in between grunts and takes one hand to cup your face. “can you see my cock go in and out of you?” semi intends to show you how lewd it looks by pulling out his thick cock slowly and pushing back inside your pussy in an agonizing pace. 

“yes, fuck– eita.” you sob, staring at the mirror ahead as you see his cock glistens with slick when he pulls out from your stretched cunt and fills you back in, edging you at the same time. 

“and what happens when i touch you here?” he coos, reaching down to press your clit with his thumb. a shock of pleasure washes through your body, making your eyes roll back and your head thrown back to his shoulder. “come on, you can tell me.”

“it’s-it’s gonna make m-me cum.” you whimper as your hips roll desperately against his finger and each time he plunges into you. 

“and you’re gonna sing my name when you do, right?” 

“yesyesyes– please, just–” semi cuts you off by continuing his pace again and the knot in your stomach tightens at the feeling of being stuffed full when he rams deep inside you along with his ministrations on your throbbing bud.

his other hand pinches your pebbled nipple and causes you to keen in pleasure and you finally open your eyes to look at the mirror again to see the compromising position you’re in and the way he manhandles you; having absolute control all over your squirming body with both his hands and his cock– and it got your vision turning white as you tip over the edge. 

“eita!” your lips part into a scream as your pussy flutters around his cock and come undone. the walls squeezing him elicits a low growl from his throat and he holds your body with both his arms as he remains to fuck you in order to chase after his own high.

“fuck– that’s it.” he kisses your head when you let out a choke from the overstimulation. “i’m gonna fill this pretty pussy.” sporadic thrusts begin to stutter as his balls tighten and his cock twitches inside you to indicate that he’s close to reaching his orgasm and a loud moan rips from his throat as he finally comes undone. 

semi stills for a few moments inside you, catching his breath and regaining composure before he lifts your body slightly to pull out his softening cock. your trembling knees fail to keep you up so your body falls down on the mattress and semi chuckles at the sight as he joins next to you. 

“you did so good for me, love.” his sharp, brown eyes gazes adoringly into yours and a soft smile tugs the corner of his lips as he caresses your hair. “was i too rough?”

“just a little,” you blush. “but i liked it.”

semi sighs in relief and draws closer to give a chaste kiss on your forehead, “i’ll run a warm bath for you, alright? then we can go to sleep.”

you nod your head, feeling warm and fuzzy when he holds you in his strong arms before he leaves for the bathroom. as you wait and hear water filling the tub, your mind wanders how you’re going to break the news to your manager about your blossoming relationship with semi. 

and semi thinks about the same thing too. 

whatever it is, it doesn’t matter to him. 

as long as he has you.

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[bts-reveries]

mini me | 23 1/3

Flashback to Yn’s talk over video call with the girls + Jin ( in part 17)

“So what exactly are you feeling,” Mae asks you, popping a kimbap in her mouth. You shrug at her question.

“That’s what I don’t know… Youngdo wants us to get back together,” you say, everyone’s facial expressions show that they were surprised. Jin especially. He chokes on a kimbap Mae fed him.

“That’s… sudden?” Rina says. “Why all of a sudden?”

“He said he’s been working towards it, but Taehyung came in the way and he knew he needed to start working faster, hence the reason why we’ve been hanging out more lately? I guess? I don’t know, I’m confused as well…” You say, running your hand through your hair.

“Well you can’t be with someone just because they want to be with you, but if you’re confused… does that mean you have feelings too?” Jin asks you, slowly. You bury your head into your hands and groan. 

“I don’t knooooooooooooow,” you say. “I just really want it to work between Youngdo and I, you know? We had this whole future planned out when we were younger and then Youngjae came in and I was scared but it honestly just made my dreams come true even faster. Does that make sense? It would’ve been perfect if Youngdo felt the same way. I understand that we were really young and that we both had dreams we wanted to follow so I guess we both could’ve ended it there, knowing we were on different paths. But we were still in love with each other, I mean, I was… it all kind of went away when he just wanted me and not Youngjae, which is literally half of me, and him! But it’s different now though. We’re hanging out a lot more and I actually… enjoy it. He’s changing.” You explain, looking up at the screen. You could tell that they were all trying to process what you had just said and were thinking of what advice they wanted to give you. The first one to speak up was Sarang.

“I understand you want to fix your broken family. I’ve been there before. I was a single mom too, Hope didn’t know her dad and he didn’t know she existed and I was still in love with him. It’s not quite the same but I mean, we’re both single moms and one of the two is in love, and you want to have a complete family so I guess it’s kind of similar. Hobi and I started off as friends first. So what’s going on with you and Youngdo right now is what happened to us, in a way. Neither of us talked about getting together though until we got really close. We also got along really well as a family and decided that we liked it that way and wanted to keep it that way so I know where you’re coming from. But” Sarang says, her eyes drifting away from the screen. You can tell she’s thinking of how to say what she needs to say next. “But we were never together in the first place, like you and Youngdo..” You furrow your brows, tilting your head slightly, confused. You get a little laugh from the group.

“I think what Sarang is saying is that you two have more history with each other, than her and Hobi so your situation is quite different than hers and what worked for her might not work for you. Maybe what happened between you and Youngdo was meant to be?” Rina suggests. 

“Although,” Yuna adds in, “don’t let us make the decision for you, we’re just here to help you gather your thoughts. Making suggestions to help you figure out what you should do.” The girls nod, agreeing to her statement. Meanwhile, Jin was shaking his head from Mae’s end of the screen. 

“Completely disagree, I say ditch him and go with Taehyung,” he says, Mae looks at him and smacks his chest.

“Don’t make the decision for her, she’s the one that’s going to be dating him not you,” she tells him. You laugh at the couple. Wanting something like that in the future. 

“Yeah, she didn’t even mention Taehyung,” Byul says, “this isn’t about him.” You laugh, a little embarrassed. Sohyun seems to be the only one who catches on.

“Oh my gosh. This does include Taehyung… When you said Youngdo was working faster, it’s not because Taehyung got closer to his son, but it’s because he also got closer with you,” she says in shock. You smile at her, laughing a bit.

“So… is Taehyung your side chic-- rooster? hoe? Is this appropria--” 

“Can you shut up,” Mae says, pushing Jin out of the screen.

“Okay first of all,” you say, standing up for yourself. “I’m not with either so that doesn’t apply. And speaking of Tae… I don’t know, we kind of had a moment the other day but I feel like we just spent a lot of time together and that we were alone, so I’m… confused with that too.”

“Hold on,” Rina says, “are you saying you don’t know who to choose?” You nod your head.

“Let’s talk about the pros and cons first,” Mae says, a finger popping up off screen, shushing her. 

“Forget pros and cons, I’m not trying to be biased or anything, kind off,” Jin says, coughing off the last part, “but I’m team Taehyung. I feel like my brother--” This time it was Mae shushing him. 

“Okay okay fine, keep talking, I’m going to go order customized Team Taehyung shirts,” Jin says, getting up.

“Okay now that he’s gone,” Byul says, “Mae, continue.” 

“Thank you. Let’s list the pros and cons for both parties okay?” Mae continues, nodding off to you. 

“Wait,” Jin says coming back, Mae groans, “Okay, no, I’m going to be seriously serious this time.” He says this as he’s looking at his wife. He turns to you, well the screen, next. 

“I know you dream of being a happy family with, what, your high school sweetheart? but, okay, so I shouldn’t be the one to say this because my relationship came out perfect--ow!” Jin tries to explain, although he gets a little pinch from Mae. “I swear this is going somewhere!” he exclaims. “But not all relationships end up the way we want them to. For example, Namjoon and Eunji, Moonji’s mom. They had this beautiful future planned together, it was literally right in front of them but life happens, you know? I don’t know if you know this, but she passed away when she gave birth to Moonji. I know this is such a dark example, but I’m just trying to say… no matter how hard you plan, the future is uncertain. Namjoon had this future planned out, his baby girl was coming and his life was about to begin and it fell apart right when it started. But he was able to raise her alone, his career took off, and he was able to meet someone new. None of that was part of his plan. You planned to have this perfect future with Youngdo and when your future happened earlier than planned, it fell apart too right? Slowly, but surely. 

Yeah you can go back and fix it but it doesn’t hurt to move on. You can walk back down that road you were once on, or take a new one with new, possibly better, opportunities. He’s changed yeah, but so have you.”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

mini me

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part twenty-three, one out of three: so have you ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader

a/n: so part 23 has three parts because we need some more time before this ends, also keep in mind that jin knows about tae’s feelings at this point

taglist: @heartfeltscribblings @taexmichi @prdshobi @smarshere @i-swear-im-a-soft-stan @igotarmyofarohas @butterflylion @miagracegrande @casspirit0705 @ephyra1230 @cosmicdaylight @bbyjoonies @betysotelo18 @strwberry-jam @rjsmochii @chocobetterknot @notmontae97 @alpaca1612 @yoongistruth @dragonqueen01 @silentlyimpractical @hecticwonderer @joanc24 @hopesvlle @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @sweetmoonlight9 @samros95 @dreamcatcherjiah @sonderkook @taekookcaneatme @listless-losers @kookietsukkie @goldenchemistry @salty-for-suga @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness @softboyfriendtae @raplineh0e @ess-place @callmepaopao @ggukvii @ramyagovindraj @yoongiverse @mipetronella @cloudy-skys @jikachoo @nxtrogers @kookoo-kachoo @taestannie @hispoutylips @hallofbtsmasterlist

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

[bakatenshii]

All Might x Sara

I wanted to get this out for your birthday, but then I got distracted, so I wanted to get it out for his birthday, bUt then I didn’t finish ahksjklje I’m sorry it’s so late aaaah, but here it is!! For @saratour my love, my All Might fucker, happy late birthday, and happy late birthday to your husband too!

P.S. this is truly the softest you’ll get out of me. 

Toshi’s not got a hero complex, despite being branded the Hallmark of Heroes since fuck knows when—

probably since he first donned that ridiculously cartoonish hero costume ripped straight out of a Marvel/DC comic.

He doesn’t even like going out in Big Might form, ‘it’s embarrassing’, ‘too flashy’, or whatever

Fans hoping to crash into All Might doing normal things out and about may as well be playing Where’s Waldo, if Waldo’s not got his iconic distinct glasses or hat or stupid stripey top. (or Where’s Wally, for your weirdo Brits and fake Aussies)

So, essentially— impossible.

That’s how he gets around so easily and never get caught by paparazzi; head to the supermarket in SmallMight form, parading ‘round town without the fear or being recognized

Here: because I can’t manage to fit this in the hcs somehow naturally, the date is: June 8th

(and if you’re an All Might stan u should know, his birthday’s June 10th)

and Number 1 Hero All Might’s birthday may as well been a national holiday, honestly

There’s fucking posters plastered around town, All Might cosplayers, even All Might dildo lollipops, they really are milking this man dry of any possible profits

Anyways, cut scene to our protagonist today, Sara, who’s at the grocer’s looking for a cake to buy herself for her birthday

Only feeling half-sorry because— another friend’s just gotten engaged and here she is buying her own cake for her own birthday, pity party galore

Rude bitch sent her a wedding invite the day of her birthday even though she knew Sara was single. Even told her to bring a ‘Wedding Date’, it really do be your own ones

Will it be another cliché, you ask? Why yes, of course! 

Guess who Sara crashes into at the cake section, asking for the same cake she’d just chosen?

If you guessed All Might, you’re wrong! It’s— 

drumroll please...

Small Might! Hah, got you there El Oh El

Of course it’s our main man Toshi, in all his deflated glory, doing his daily shop at a market he doesn’t frequent on the other side of town.

Why the other side of town? Because I say so, otherwise the plot wouldn’t make sense okay, bear with it.

The baker’s just handing Sara the wrapped up lemon buttercream cake, and thank fuck she didn’t have it in her hands yet because when a familiar voice next to her asks:

“Have you got any of the lemon buttercream left?”

She just about gave herself whiplash and an unpayable debt to the chiropractor by the sheer force and velocity at which she whipped around to look at the man—

the myth, the legend—

All Might, except he’s.. small? Small Might, if you will, hence the nickname I’ve been using. 

(I think I’m so quirky and funny, everyone else say: Shut Up Angel!)

Obviously that was the last cake, because we love cliché tropes here in my crack-canons.

Sara? Starstruck.

Small Might? Disappointed, a lil. 

Moreso concerned about the speed at which the woman next to him was able to turn her neck, though.

Yes, yes, a lot of ‘All Might?’ with starry eyes, and shocked response of ‘y-you recognize me?’ and ‘of course I do, I’d be able to recognize that voice anywhere!’ blah blah cut scene timeskip to:

They’re at dinner, at her’s, because fuck a slow burn, she had been feeling brave because it’s her birthday and honestly what’s there to lose by asking Number 1 Hero All Might to accompany her for her birthday?

Crashing into him, meeting him in his form no one else knew, almost like a shared secret between them, it must’ve been destiny?

(It’s more so the author— namely, me— binding their fate together, so everyone say: Thank you Angel!)

By the grace of gods (again, see: me) Toshi agrees, makes a joke about how it’s his birthday soon too and he didn’t have anyone to spend it with either, so why not spend it together? swoon

It’s all a lil sad and ironic, big famous hero All Might not having anyone to celebrate his birthday with, despite everyone else celebrating it for him

It tugs at Sara’s heartstrings, it really does, so she makes them a wholesome feast, lights a candle for each of them on the cake, and have a giddy old time listening to his stories about his students

She doesn’t ask about his hero career, it’s too sensitive, too soon, and if the nervous tick in his hand gestures gives anything away, he’s a lil lot insecure about his weak frail form.

And he appreciates it, instead having a fucking blast going on and on about how worried he is about his overzealous students getting injured because they’re too busy trying to save the world, 

or whatever cat got caught on a treebranch, and whatnot.

This is all very soft and sweet, and I really am gooey writing this, but that’s just how both of them are, you know?

Sara, who’s painfully kind and sweet, sometimes a lil stubborn, and Toshi, who’s just honestly the most wholesome man on this planet,

How did you expect me to write anything stoopid & ridiculous for this couple, honestly?

So they have dinner together, do some grocery shopping together, he helps her move some furniture around (don’t ask why), she helps massage his sore aging muscles (PG folks, PG)

And bob’s your uncle, and to everyone’s relief they start dating.

They’re entire full grown adults, you know, so they’re in it for the long run. None of this petty arguments, stupid make-up and break-ups, just pure soft romance.

The Notebook would be impressed.

Nicholas Sparks is on a stretcher. 

(Did I mention they celebrated his birthday together two days after hers? 

And she bought him a stupid gift that both of them laughed for hours about that I won’t say because I haven’t come up with what it was? 

And that they shared a chocolate cake that she made that was even better than the lemon buttercream from the store— 

‘why did you go out and buy it when yours tastes so much better?’ , ‘because it was my birthday and I wanted to treat myself, okay’

Because yeah, they did that. It was so tooth-rottingly cute, I have a cavity and also I’m really bad at fluff so just *shoves* TAKE IT.)

And so, here they are, being the Hallmark of a happy couple, and we all gag at how fucking adorable they are while we sit in our sweat-stained joggers eating ramen with our 3 cats.

But wait! There’s more!

Guess who Sara shows up with, a year later, to her stupid friend’s wedding (who was knocked up! Hah!) looking positively glowing next to her date?

Symbol of Peace, former Number 1 Hero, All Might

or to her, lovingly, ‘Toshi’

Suck on that, nameless-friend from high school who’s getting married because she got knocked up and wanted to rub her happiness in lonely singles faces.

(Sorry that may or may not come from personal aggression, ignore that)

tags: @enjifuckersupreme , @mindninjax , @sanguinekeigo , @yukiimanic 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Is it true that Mary Jane drove Harry to drug addiction?

Not it is absolutely not.

That is a common misconception that is often used to unfairly belittle or criticise Mary Jane.

It’s rooted in ASM #97. In the prior issue MJ was openly flirting with Peter in front of both Harry and his father. She continued to do this (sans Norman) in ASM #97, and Harry consequently went to a drug dealer and got high. He got clingy with MJ leading her to not at all gently make it clear to him that they were absolutely not exclusive. You could even interpret this as her dumping him, though I don’t and given how they were dating again later on, I think she was just setting him straight.

After arguing with Peter and coming down Harry takes an overdose of the drugs (we don’t know what ones they were exactly).

The simplest way to debunk the idea that MJ was the cause of Harry’s drug problems if to simply check out earlier pages in the very same issue.

Here between how Harry acts, Peter’s dialogue and the artwork depicting the very same bottle of pills Harry uses later in the issue, the message is very clear.

Harry was ALREADY a drug addict before MJ ‘gave him the gate’. 

Furthermore, it’s possible (and in my view highly likely, especially after the retcons to MJ’s character) that MJ was both aware of Harry’s drug problem and might even have subtly referenced it in this issue.

Turn your attention back to the scene where MJ lays into Harry. Notice her dialogue when Harry first approached her.

How chipper we suddenly sound.

That emphasis wasn’t added by me, that was all Stan Lee.

I don’t think that was accidental, I think it’s intended to clue us into the fact that MJ at least suspects why his mood has so suddenly changed. The comic, in it’s foreshadowing of Harry’s pill bottle is already demonstrating a certain subtly in parts of itself so this isn’t exactly a stretch to make.

But we can dig deeper.

Stan didn’t exactly depict young people as they really existed in the 1960s (he was middle aged and the comics code wouldn’t have allowed him anyway), but he wasn’t blind.

EVERYONE knew drugs were being passed around in the 1960s and that college kids in particular were using them. Stan himself had been to a fair few college campuses for lectures by this point in time so he may well have clued into this himself.

I’m not trying to throw shade at MJ by saying this, but given how she was kinda sorta a hippie, a girl who was ‘with it’ and who liked to party, it made it unbelievable for her to have not clued in on what might’ve been going on with Harry and Stan through her dialogue may well have been trying to reflect that.

We might also speculate her casualness about it could imply this isn’t the first time she’s seen Harry high, which (if you accept that) further proves that she didn’t drive him to drugs in this issue, it’d been happening for a long time. In fact the canonically debatable Death and Destiny mini-series (set several issues earlier than this) heavily implies Harry to already be using drugs, specifically cocaine.

Furthermore to blame MJ for this is really, really unfair.

When it comes to drug addiction she’s not Harry’s keeper. She’s not responsible for what he does to his own body.

And if we really are going to attribute blame to her, then we should also attribute some blame to Peter for not noticing the obvious. We should also attribute blame to both of them plus Gwen and Flash for not being there enough for Harry to help him deal with whatever issues drove him to drugs.

And boy of boy should we blame Norman. He’s Harry’s father, shouldn’t he be held accountable on some level?

Now if you want to look at it from a position of hindsight when retcons have revealed more about everyone, the truth is MJ REALLY wasn’t to blame for Harry’s drug problem. 

We could argue in pushing him away when she knew he had a problem she was being a bad friend but like...there is only so much any of us can do. Personal story: one of my friends in high school went off the rails a bit when he was 16-17. Not due to drugs but other stuff and my grandma insisted I be responsible for setting him right. But my parents, quite correctly, set me and her straight that that wasn’t my responsibility and my abilities to help him were limited anyway.

MJ is in an even worse boat than I was.

She had less financial security, she was dealing with a legal adult with access to a lot of cash and much more cash than her, her mother had died maybe a year-18 months earlier than this, she was dealing with leaving her sister and getting into the swing of city/college life, and that’s not even touching upon her knowledge of Peter’s identity and her deep rooted commitment issues.

Of all people MJ was not in a position to help Harry at this time and giving him the gate was the emotionally healthiest thing for her to do for herself in that situation, even if it arguably came from a place of her own insecurities regarding commitment.*

On Harry’s end, MJ could never have been the sole factor that drove him to drugs. At worst she might’ve been one of many contributing factors or even the straw that broke the camel’s back. But Harry was VERY LIKELY to have fallen into drugs or some other destructive habit with or without her.

Harry’s grandfather was an alcoholic, meaning there was a genetic predisposition towards substance abuse in his family. I know Norman isn’t a drug addict or an alcoholic, but he is a power addict. He’s so much of a power addict he literally became a super villain when he already had wealth and social power.

Speaking of Harry’s Dad....hoooooooo boooooooooooy....Norman screwed his son up bad.

He alternated between neglecting him, verbally abusing and belittling him and just straight up hitting Harry when he was a child, with arguably a certain underlying resentment towards Harry over the death of Lydia, Harry’s mother/Norman’s wife; she possibly died due to complications in giving birth.

Norman put pressures on Harry to ‘be a man’ and to also live up to his own massive shadow, and combined with the fact that Harry was desperate for Norman’s  love and approval, yeah Harry was a very messed up little boy.

And he grew into a very messed up vulnerable young man. He was so messed up he’d repressed his memories of his awful childhood and rewritten them in his head to be much happier than they really were.**

So MJ or no MJ, Harry was always going to be susceptible to something like drugs. For all we know he might’ve been experimenting as far back as high school or as a result of Gwen dumping him for Peter.

Bottom line: No, MJ did not drive Harry to drugs.

*I know some people might bring up how she helped Peter deal with Gwen’s death, but that’s very different.

For starters, grieving someone, hard and painful as it is, is in truth a lot easier than helping someone overcome addiction. 90% of the time, eventually the mourning passes. With an addict, they often have to struggle every day to not fall off the wagon.

In essence MJ, a woman in fear of commitment, was looking at a longer term commitment were she to have helped Harry.

More than this, Harry was already clingy and a rather needy person. In a lot of ways he was looking for someone to mother him (hence why he married someone with nursing experience) which was a turn off for MJ in general. Add in the very real possibility that he’d come to depend upon MJ to keep him clean and it would’ve been MJ’s version of Hell. 

Peter in contrast was someone she didn’t need to mother, but was someone who did in that moment need his help and she was at a place in her life where she was more able and willing to give it. It helped that, unlike with Harry, she was you know in love with Peter too.

**Incidentally, Norman basically rewrote his own memories too, believing himself to be a great Dad when he really wasn’t. 

Harry’s delusions occurred BEFORE he touched the Goblin formula by the way, speaking to hereditary mental illness in his family.

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

You seem pretty well versed in Peter and Mary Jane’s history, and I just want to ask, can you go in depth about Mary Jane’s personality? I know her history, her terrible home life, her history with Peter, but I want to know about HER. Her personality. Her dynamic with Peter. I feel these days that she’s been reduced to the “Pretty love interest” for Spider-Man, which I hate. I KNOW Mary Jane has a lot of depth and evolution as a character.

I know she’s a party girl. Fun loving. Spunky. Independent. Funny. Intelligent. Confident. But I want to know MORE about her, as a person. What else does she do in her life? How does she interact with other people? Before she got in serious relationships, did she sleep around? Was the type of gal that did drugs? Is she open minded? Those seem like weird questions, I admit, I admit, but they really help define her character. How energetic and charismatic is she? Does she completely control the life of the party?

Mary Jane has really become a character I’m really interested in, but I’ve never really seen her “Comic Accurate” personality adapted to a modern adaptation right. The closest I would say would be the Spectacular, but even then she felt too calm.

So I want your answer. I wouldn’t mind hearing an in-depth one. I know you’ve got idealized versions (And I do to, I think I can go on an essay long rant about why I think the two complete each other) but I want to hear YOUR opinion. And if you could adapt the story into the modern day, what would your idealized Mary Jane be like? How would she and Peter’s lovely history happen?

Sorry for the long, oddly specific question, but I really want to figure out MJ, and you look like you have the matching passion and knowledge to help interested fans in her like me.

MJ’s personality is tricky because it evolves over time. But modern MJ when written correctly would have, as we all do, multiple sides to her personality.

She can be goofy, funny, carefree, a party animal, a worry wort, self-deprecating, harsh to her loved ones, selfish, self sacrificing, brave, fearful (but never cowardly), ambitious, beat herself up, socially savvy, very confifident, innately sociable, can keep a secret and just about everything between all that.

 Her dynamic with Peter is also very complicated, it’s ort of easier to talk about examples you throw out at me. But I guess on a fundamental level her dynamic with Peter is all about mutual emotional fulfilment and how that is ultimately mitigates the extreme baggage that comes from life with a hero.

You can phrase it in many different ways but fundamentally MJ loves Peter because of his sense of responsibility.

In essence her Dad was her male role model in terms of a romantic partner, but in the negative. So she found herself attracted to a guy who on a certain superficial level (studious, a bookworm) was like her Dad but on a much deeper level was the polar opposite. Peter wasn’t a raving tyrant, he wasn’t a selfish dick, he wasn’t irresponsible.

She grew up under the fear of a (verbally) abusive man but in Peter she saw a guy who in spite of having a lot of intelligence and raw physical power to also be an abusive and exploitative person, instead NEVER truly abused his gifts and chiefly used them selflessly, even at personal cost.

It is not canon but a great summation of this is in Spider-Man: Reign #4 where MJ’s ghost tells Peter she didn’t love him because he could beat bullies like Flash up but because he could but never would.

Similarly in Web #6 MJ ponders how she could never marry peter due to the worry over his risking his life and how if he didn’t do that he’d have been someone she’d have jumped to marry. But then she realizes if he was someone who was selfishly going to use his abilities for fame and fortune he’d never have BEEN the kind of person she’d have fallen for.

So MJ, unlike Peter’s other girlfriends, is the one who loved him for the thing that most defined, him his sense of responsibility.

But it’s a double edged sword because in caring about him, she obviously doesn’t want him to be hurt, hence you have this brilliant narrative tension.

Wrapped up in this is the fact that MJ understands Peter’s issues with guilt and responsibility because she also renegaded upon her responsibilities and has felt guilty about it ever since because it also hurt her family.

So they are kindred spirits but whilst Peter passively stood by and let the burglar escape MJ actively ran away from her pregnant sister.* Then both of them kept that pain all to themselves for years before admitting it to one another, whilst also keeping their true personalities concealed behind public masks, meaning MJ gets that about him too.

But in confiding in one another they were able to remove those masks and be themselves in one another’s company.

You asked what else MJ does in her life. Mostly she has great ambitions in regards to usually acting, modelling, night club owning, stuff like that. MJ enjoys the spotlight and always has since she was a child.

Her interactions with most people used to be light and jokey or flirtatious. Now they are more even handed though she can be lightly flirtatious just because its in her personality.

MJ’s sex life is very much up in the air. Fans have presumed she had a lot of sex prior and after her first relationship with Peter but there is little on the page evidence confirming or denying this. Certainly she went out on a lot of casual dates.

MJ in terms of drugs is also something never touched upon in spite of her name. However the subtext of the Harry drug story implies MJ is aware of Harry’s drug abuse and she does dump him during that arc specifically when he is as high as a kite so it could be implied from this that MJ has little time for drugs.

When you think about it, between her abusive Dad and her need to maintain a facade around herself it’s unlikely MJ was going to use drugs. She wouln’t want to risk losing any control of her facade. She did smoke in high school though and later due to stress when she was married to Peter, but only briefly.

Is MJ open minded? Well...that depends upon the topic doesn’t it. She isn’t racist or homophobic. She was okay with doing a nude scene in a movie or wearing revealing lingerie on a modelling gig, only really being concerned with how Peter might feel about her doing that, so she’s no prude. She did display an initial prejudice against clones during the Clone Saga. Again what topic are we talking about.

How energetic or charaismatic is she. I mean...very charismatic and energetic most of the time. but it depends upon the situation. She’s not gonna be charismatic or emergetic after someone has died.

MJ could probably control the life of a party if she put her mind to it, yes.

Regarding the Spec cartoon, yes maybe MJ wasn’t comic accurate and more calm but in fairness everyone was because you aren’t going to present a modern cartoon with the same over the top characterization as a Stan Lee 1960s comic book. Peter was comparatively more chill in that show.

In terms of how I’d adapt her and Peter’s story and her characterization it would basically be as it was from the comics but with modern dialogue and pacing with more foreshadowing towards MJ having a hidden personality. I have mapped out my ideal Spider-Man TV series and in that you get MJ in season 2 ala her Romita era debut and then things are as they are in the comics up until she breaks up with Harry. I’d leave them separated unlike what happened in the comics (due to them repurposing an older story where they were together but that’s another issue) then have her and Peter fall in love as they did in the Conway run and break up as they did in the Wolfman run but change it from Peter proposing to MJ to asking her to move in with him.

My rationale is that in the modern day its very uncommon even for a college senior to be discussing marriage. You’d get the same thing with him surprising MJ with a crackerjack box or something but it’d have his apartment key in it instead of a wedding ring.

Additionally, I’d have her outright dump him (as opposed to the pair just not going steady anymore) and leave New York within the same story, the same story where Peter graduates, just because it’d make for a good season finale and makes the story more concise. In essence MJ just hard runs away from Peter the moment commitment rears its head.

This would lead to more of an impact in the next season when he’s dating Felicia and MJ (with no foreshadowing, which is how the comics made things happen) shows up at Peter’s door.

Again from there things would progress as they did in the comics except when we get to the MJ backstory episode I’d work her scenes from Parallel Lives into that too.

For reasons I won’t go into, for this hypothetical adaptation I’d bring the events of Hobgoblin Lives way forward in time so instead of happening when Peter and MJ are married shortly after the Clone Saga they happen shortly after Ned Leeds dies and after Peter and Felicia have broken up again. They would form the basis of another season finale wherein MJ’s role would be functionally the same as in the comic book but with two additions. Since this would be the season finale there should be some payoff for her and Peter’s relationship.

So after she, Peter, Flash and Betty formulate their plan to smoke out the real Hobgoblin MJ asks Peter how he copes with this stuff and he shows her by taking her out webswinging and we homage Sensational Annual 2007. Then later after Hobgoblin beats Peter hard he recovers at MJ’s place and she covers for him and they almost kiss before he heads off to save Betty.

I’d open the next season with the storyline wherein Peter proposes to MJ and they eventually get engaged. But instead of them marrying immediately I’d adapt loads of stories that in the comics happened after the wedding and use those to present challenges and doubts to Peter and MJ about getting married. It’d basically be a whole season about whether or not they will get married at all.

So you’d get things like the Jonathan Caesar storyline, the return of Black Cat, Kraven’s Last Hunt as the mid-season finale and the penultimate episodes would be the introduction of Venom. Obviously Venom debuted confronting MJ so there is that, but also Brock is a divorcee, the symbiote is literally one of Peter’s ex’s and a lover scorned, whom he tried to kill in a church bell tower. In the first Venom story and in my version Spidey and Venom end their first battle in that same church bell tower.

All of which is thematically juicy for an arc about relationships and marriage (because wedding bells get it).

I’d make 2 major changes though, one of which is Venom’s battle with Felicia from the second Venom arc would happen before he confronts Spidey for the first time and Peter would defeat Venom in his classic suit. The idea being that MJ makes a new version of his classic suit both because she prefers it and because it represents his true self vs the black costume which is what he’s like to be.

The classic suit = friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man/ the black suit = bad ass scary Spider-Man.

So only by being himself, by being the person MJ loves, can Peter defeat Venom this dark reflection of himself.

The story would end with Peter and MJ reunited but both clearly having doubts, as though Venom has ‘poisoned’ their future relationship.

The actual finale would mostly be an adaptation of ASM Annual #21 but with more of a focus upon the doubts each character has and unlike the comic we see HOW those doubts are put to rest. For MJ its having a conversation with Bruce and with Peter its having a conversation with the hospitalized Felicia.

Through their conversations the pair realize that rather than all the stuff they’ve been through (Venom, Kraven, etc) showing them they shouldn’t be together, the fact that they’re still together in spite of all those things proves that they can make things work. So the season wraps up with them getting married.

The next season would be a Harry Osborn centric season but MJ in response to Peter’s parents seemingly returning would seek out her sister and her Dad in jail and reconcile with them like she did in the Clone Saga.

Then I’d do the clone saga so that’s essentially going to be the same thing except obviously Peter will not be hitting any pregnant women in this version because fuck that shit. Also Peter and MJ wouldn’t leave New York although Peter would still temporarily retire as Spider-Man.

Finally I’d do a season set after the Clone Saga leading up to the pair reuniting with their kidnapped baby, Peter losing his powers and truly retiring forever, then we go into a Spider-Girl TV show.

   *This is important also because when MJ closed the door after Gwen died to comfort Peter she was choosing to do the OPPOSITE of what she’d done with her sister.

In essence Peter made MJ a better person, he made her confront her issues or helped her to do so and she grew as a result. She became a more heroic, more self-sacrificing and more responsible person. This was always the case since before they were dating Peter pushed for MJ to give a witness statement to the cops about a murder which she didn’t want to do out of fear.

In turn MJ made Peter fight all the harder. He very much needs her in his life as she has emotionally, mentally and physically saved him multiple times, see Kraven’s Last Hunt for an example.

[mitchmarnier]

BLOOD IN THE WATER

summary: “I think we’re all going to have do some pretty terrible things,” Eddie said quietly. His hand came to wrap in Richie’s shirt, trying to burn out the violent grip of his father’s from earlier. “None of us have a choice in anything anymore. Whatever happened at Greta’s tonight-“ Eddie’s voice broke and he felt Richie press a kiss into his hair. “There isn’t a good and a bad anymore. There’s just die or don’t.”

[or: after the gruesome murder of his younger brother, Bill Denbrough is determined to bring about the end of the string of crimes in Derry no matter the cost. As stories unwind and fall apart, there’s only more questions as everybody’s lives hang in the balance.]

chapter count: 16/21

Taglist: @honkhonkrichard @hufflepuffkaspbrak @emmieliabedelia @reddie-for-anything @reddiesetrichie @beepbeepbitchard @lemonadeandrice @mirandosky @vanilluna @fivxharmony

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Eddie fiddled with the collar of his white dress shirt, feeling as though the high rised fabric may grow a mind of its own and suffocate him. Or maybe it was the acknowledge that before this night was over, something else may very well try to. Something all the more human than his dress shirt, but endlessly more evil.  His mother had begged him- screaming, crying, pleading- not to go out the prom that night. Screams and beggings of how Richie was an evil boy, with darkness in his blood, and that going to the prom was sure to get Eddie hurt. That he would safe at home, with her, where nobody could hurt him. It burned at Eddie that- perhaps for the first time in his life- his mother’s frantic pleading was the actual truth and he was ignoring it anyway. This was simply what Eddie’s life was now, and he knew if he was meant to die this night- it was going to happen whether he attended the prom or not.

The door to Eddie and Richie’s bedroom at Frank’s apartment creaked open and his boyfriend came in to lean against the door frame. Eddie’s heart thrummed in his chest as he took Richie in, from the ratty combat boots on his feet, the ripped black skinny jeans and that Devils Jacket hugging at his shoulders like it once again belonged there. It reminded Eddie suddenly of the day in Richie and Bill had confronted one another in the quad, something that had truthfully only been two months earlier but might as well have been a completely different life. Eddie hadn’t seen his best friend since the night of Greta’s party, and it still left a hard, disgusting feeling of guilt in his gut. Eddie had turned his back on Bill at that party, and had been so caught up in everything with Richie and his father that by the time Eddie had the knowledge that he should go visit Bill he was sure the boy wouldn’t want to see him.

Richie tilted his head and smiled softly at Eddie. “We really don’t have to go,” he repeated for what must have been the seven millionth time in the past two days. “I am 100% fine with not going, I didn’t go to junior prom, it’s not going to kill me to stay home from the senior one… but it might kill me to go to it.”

Eddie let out a small laugh, letting himself fall forward into Richie’s waiting arms. The warmth surrounded him as he remembered his own junior prom. Eddie had come out as gay only a few weeks before- though he suspected that everybody had already known long, long before that- and Audra had insisted that they get together before the dance. He remembered the look in Bill’s eyes when Audra had come down the stairs, that look of absolute utter love, and Eddie had thought for the first time in his life that maybe a high school relationship really could last forever. Closing his eyes tightly, he squeezed Richie tighter. “Audra would’ve wanted me to go,” he said quietly against Richie’s chest. “Last year it was all she could talk about. How for senior prom she was going to make sure I had some hot date and that we’d double with Bill and her and how amazing it would be… Obviously, that’s not what..” Eddie cleared his throat, shivering slightly as he felt Richie’s nails scrape against his scalp. “I’m going to the prom for her, because she fucking deserved her senior prom with Bill, and there’s no way I’m wasting my chance to go to the dance with hot boyfriend even if somebody is going to try to kill us a little bit.”

Eddie pulled up, looking up at Richie with wet lashes. Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie’s forehead then grinned down at him, waggling his eyebrows. “You think I’m hot.”

“Oh my God,” Eddie let out a wet laugh. “Shut the fuck up, I hate you.” Richie wrapped his arms tighter around Eddie’s shoulders, and hid his laughter into Eddie’s hair.

xxx

Stanley Uris stepped out of his father’s car, fiddling with the cuffs on his dress shirt, Patty coming out the passenger seat and Beverly out of the back. Beverly’s satin red dress came down to the ground, with a spilt up the leg and her red hair was done up perfectly on the top of her head. Patty’s dress was the matching shade of red, cropped short and frilly, with her hair falling down her back in flawless curls. Both girls had donned their Devil Jackets over top the dresses. School dance or not, the both felt in their guts where this night was going to lead them and those Jackets kept the same mark of loyalty they always had even in times of peace.

Stan adjusted his matching red tie as he turned to the girls. He held out both arms, Patty linking into one and Beverly linking into the other. Lithium by Nirvana was playing as they walked into the building, Aurora Morgans turning and smiling pleasantly at them. She moved forward, accepting the tickets that Stan handed to her.

“Two dates, Uris?” Mike Hanlon called from where he was standing near by. He moved over, grinning. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Stan grinned back. “Richie was too busy to take all the Devil girls this year, I’m just doing my civil duty.”

Mike laughed, holding his hand out for Stanley to slap and shake. Aurora looked between them, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion but still holding a genuine smile. Beverly slapped at Stanley’s shoulder. “Richie basically my brother, Uris. That’s disgusting.”

“Hence why you’ve been my date for every dance of since we were old enough to have dates,” Stan shot back in reply, drawing a laugh even from Aurora.

Beverly pulled away from Stan, pressing her hands to her chest in mock horror. “And here I thought it was because you were secretly in love with me. There goes all my plans for the future!”

A small, dark look crossed Stanley’s face at that, the boy turned away with pursed lips. Beverly’s face fell and she bit at her bottom lip as Patty rubbed her hands together. Lithium turned to Black Widow by Iggy Azaela from the gym.

“Bev!” Richie Tozier’s voice called from the front door where he waltzed in with Eddie’s hand tangled with his own. “They’re playing your song!”

Beverly shot her god-brother a dirty look but Aurora had to slap a hand over her mouth after a single bark of laughter escaped her. Richie’s eye line jerked over to her, eyes hard for a moment before a small, genuine smile tugged at his lips and he winked at her. Aurora’s expressions to seem to stall for a moment, before she smiled back just as gently.

“Where’s your little boytoy?” Richie asked as he approached with Eddie in tow. Eddie was looking around the group of people with a confused look on his face. His eye line bounced from one person to the next, seemingly only growing more confused with each person standing there. “Ben? Benny Boy? Hay-“

Aurora reached out and clasped a hand over Richie’s mouth. A moment of surprise travelled through the group before Aurora let out a loud shriek, reaching out to rub her own wet palm on Stan’s suit jacket. Stan let out a horrified gasp and jumped away from her, knocking into Patty and sending the girl tumbling to the ground. Richie clung onto Eddie’s shoulders to keep himself standing straight up while he laughed.

“Do you see the chaos you cause?” Mike asked him, but his twitching cheeks made it obvious that he was fighting back his own laughter. Eddie smiled softly, wrapping down arms around Richie’s head and pressed his cheek to his boyfriend’s hair.

“Tozier! Marsh!” The voice carried over to them as their school principal came walking over towards them. “I need you to go the supply closet by the Student Council office to get streamers for the gym.”

“You haven’t finished decorating?” Richie asked incredously, brows shooting up to disappear under his hairline. “Who fucking organized this shit?”

A small, disapproving look crossed the principals’ face. “Betty Ripsom and Greta Bowie were in charge of the prom committee. Some things were unable to be completed in time, understandably. Please get the streamers.”

Richie nodded slowly, giving Eddie a quick kiss to the cheek before making a sweeping moment. “I will see all you lovelies in the gym! Bev, let us get streamers for the kind lady!”

Beverly rolled her eyes but she was smiling as she followed after Richie. Eddie watched him go, trying to ignore the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Beverly kept her eyes on Richie as they walked down the hallways in silence, Beverly playing awkwardly with the zipper on her undone jacket. Richie would occasionally glance towards her, but every time he noticed she was still looking at him, his gaze would jerk away and he would frown. “Rich…” She finally brought up the courage to say, taking hold of Richie’s arm lightly and pulling them to a stop. “I… Richie, I’m sorry.”

Richie let out a rough breath. “It’s funny you apologize, considering I don’t know what it is you did.”

“I…” Beverly choked on her own guilt for a moment, feeling her cheeks start to burn to the colour of her dress. “I needed the money, Rich. I can’t live off your parents forever, and they offered a lot. Too much to turn down, and they… they told me they wouldn’t hurt her. They promised!”

Richie’s face turned sheet white, body swaying for a moment like he was about to pass out. “Oh my God, holy fuck Beverly,” he clenched his jaw as though holding back to need to vomit. “I.. I vouched for you! And you… you’re fucking guilty and you let me… Fuck you, Beverly.”

“Richie!” Beverly cried in a small sob as Richie turned and began stomping towards the student council supply closet. “Richie, please, please. They would’ve have killed me if you hadn’t vouched for me, what I did-“

“You would’ve deserved it for what you did!” Richie practically spat at her, body trembling. “Jesus fucking Christ, Bev. She was fucking thirteen years old! And Bill’s brother… all those other kids…”

“I didn’t have anything to do with any of that!” Beverly pleaded. “I swear I didn’t! They just… they needed Neibolt, and the house is technically… I mean, it’s mine. And they promised they wouldn’t hurt her, but Janie, she-“

“Why the fuck would you believe them?” Richie asked, eyes wide and burning with something that even Beverly had never seen in them. “What the actual fuck could they have done to make you think that were trustworthy?”

Beverly let out a shaky breath. “Richie, you… you can’t trust Eddie, okay? You can’t-“

“Are you fucking kidding me, Beverly?” Richie shouted, tugging at the strands of his hair. “You’re literally standing here and telling me about the hand you had in my sister’s murder and then you’re telling me I can’t trust my boyfriend? Who the actual fuck do you think you are?”

Richie’s hand dropped onto the knob of the supply closet but Beverly grabbed at his wrist. “Please, Richie. I know I’ve given you absolutely no reason to trust me, like, at all but… Eddie isn’t who he says he is, there’s no way he doesn’t know something… Just trust me.”

Richie let out a shaky breath. “No fucking offense, Beverly. But you’re going to have to do a lot fucking better than that.”

Richie yanked the door open, something falling immediately from behind it. It crashed into Richie’s chest and letting out a sharp shout, Richie shoved at it and it fell to the ground.

Beverly screamed, clapping her hands over her mouth as the lifeless face of Henry Bowers stared up  at her from the floor. The smell hit her, a smell that brought her to cleaning out her childhood house with Stanley, and she had to swallow back the bile that filled her mouth. Eyes tearing up from the stench, Beverly looked up at Richie. Richie was staring down at the body in still horror, and Beverly let out a scream of his name when she noticed the movement over his shoulder.

Before Richie could react beside jerking to looking at her, a hand holding a white cloth wrapped around his mouth and nose and tugged him down.

xxx

Funhouse by P!nk blared throughout the gym as Ben Hanscom milked that same cup of punch he’d gotten an hour earlier. He’d spotted nearly everybody he’d knew through the crowds of people in the gym. It seemed the threat of impending attack hadn’t stopped any of the surviving members of his graduating class from showing up.

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” Aurora Morgans appeared by Ben’s side with Mike Hanlon following not too far behind. Ben fought off the impulse to roll his eyes. He’d realized, of course, that none of what was happening was Aurora or Mike’s faults. It had been happening before the three of them starting investigating the case, and would have happened if they never had. It was still a little difficult to turn off his hard feelings completely, but he was trying.

“I wasn’t going to,” Ben admitted with a sigh, sipping the drink again for something to do. “But I figured, we’ve all come this far, you know? Might as well let it all play it out the way it was meant to.”

“Even if it means people die?” Mike asked, helping himself to a cup of punch himself.

Ben smiled sadly. “People are going to die anyway. We know that.”  

Mike smiled sadly, swirling the liquid around in his cup, while Aurora moved closer to Ben and took his hand in hers. He looked to her, heart smashing against his chest and opened his mouth to speak. He never got the chance. Eddie Kaspbrak came running full tilt and smashed directly into Mike’s chest. Mike startled but managing to grab Eddie before they both went tumbling to the ground. “Whoa, little dude! What’s happening?”

Eddie pressed his hands to his knees and let out a wheeze. “Have you… seen Richie?”

Aurora raised her brow. “Not since he and Bev went to get the streamers?”

Eddie shook his head, tears filling up his eyes rapidly. “I haven’t seen him since then, either.”

Mike and Aurora jerked to look at each other, matching one another’s looks of panic, while Ben looked at his classmates in confusion. “Have you tried calling him, or texting him?”

“Have I…” Eddie blinked and gave Mike an incredulously. “Noooo, I haven’t tried texting him because I’m a fucking idiot!!! OF COURSE I’VE CALLED AND TEXT HIM!”

Mike held his hands out in front of him while Aurora reached out and started rubbing at Eddie’s back when his breathing started to heighten. “Something is really fucking wrong you guys… I know it.”

“I believe you,” Aurora said firmly, looking Eddie right in the eyes. She had a similar feeling of fear and dread in her gut from the second Eddie had asked if they’d seen Richie. “But we’ll find him, Eddie. I promise.”

Eddie looked up at with such hopeful, yet scared eyes, that Aurora felt her heart stall in her chest for a moment. Aurora opened her mouth but was cut off by the music skidding to a sudden stop. Every eye in the gym turned to look as their principal took hold of a microphone and looked out around the crowd of her students. She cleared his throat and Eddie was ready to throw up right there. “We are putting the school under a lock down situation,” she said. “Nobody is to the leave this gym under any circumstances until it is lifted.”

Eddie and Aurora looked at each other with panic, before both moving immediately to run towards the exit. Mike and Ben both gaped after them for a moment before running themselves. Ducking quickly through the crowds of people, there were enough students milling around with the surprising change of events, that they were as disguised as easily as they possibly could be.  

Stan and Patty seemed to appear out of thin air at the side door of the gym, the only exit that didn’t seem to be guarded by two or more teachers- the only exit from the gym that lead right outside. “Wait, wait,.” Ben said suddenly. “We’re under a lock down, maybe we… maybe we should stay. If they’re keeping us here then that’s because this is where we’re safest.”

Eddie turned to him, face pale and cheeks wet. “You can stay. You can all stay. But Richie… Richie is in trouble, and Beverly. I’m not going to sit here on my hands under some fucking lock-down while Richie could be dying. I’m not asking you to come with me, but I’m telling you… I’m going.”

“I’m going too,” Patty said with a firm nod. Stan reached out and took Patty’s hand in his own, nodding along.

Aurora stiffened her figure. “I’m going to,” she said. “I’m sick of this shit. It ends tonight.”

Mike smiled. “I’m with you guys, I have just about enough of this, too. Let’s get Richie back and kick some murder ass.”

Eddie beamed and every eye fell to look at Ben. Ben let out a shaky breath. “Where are we going to go? We don’t know anything. There’s no where that’s safe to talk, let alone plan out some super hero mission.”

Stan looked at Eddie, who met his look and smiled. “I know somewhere.”

[buildarocketboys]

Books read in 2018

It's been a pretty good year for reading for me, and I actually kept a list of all the books I read, so I thought I'd make a list and write a mini review about each one. I've read 22 (and a half) books this year in full - this doesn't include any that I just started, or have read bits of.

1. When The Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

Magical realism + gay and trans characters! Pretty great although I wouldn't necessarily read it again. Mostly read in lunchtimes at work.

2-4. LOTR trilogy by J R R Tolkien (started somewhere between 17 and 29 March) (first book finished 4 April) (finished 30 May)

Dates on this one as I spent most of the first half of the year reading the Lord of the Rings. The Fellowship of the Ring was almost certainly my favourite, got a bit bored towards end of Two Towers/start of Return of the King, and the long descriptions and battles (and long descriptions OF battles) are something I generally prefer to do without. But they're really good books with a lot of cool (and gay!) stuff in them, and though the films don't include everything from them, they're pretty damn good adaptations. (I only wish the films had kept Beregond).

5. The Inescapable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

By the author of Aristotle and Dante, I actually can't remember much of this book, I remember it being pretty good though. It may have made me cry?

6. Cloudbusting by Malorie Blackman (REREAD)

Easily the shortest book here, this book used to make me cry. It's a simple story told through different types of poetry, but it's so beautifully done. Didn't make me cry this time sadly, but still good. Read it sitting by the river taking a break from working on a job application.

7. Nation by Terry Pratchett (REREAD)

I reread this pretty much every year (I found myself a few weeks back wanting to reread it again) and it's brilliant every time, enough said. Think this is the only Pratchett novel I've read this year, which is a shame. Thoroughly recommend it though, even though it's not part of Discworld.

8. And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

Bought this from a stall in Bristol, at the time it was the only one of his I hadn't read. It was one of those novels I just ploughed through, really quickly. Really good, really sad (and a gay character where you least expected it).

9. Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Borrowed this from my girlfriend after having seen the musical in May. The book is...really weird, but really good. A lot more of an obvious dystopia than the musical is, right from the get go pretty much and Elphaba is an icon - grumpy, traumatised, irritable, angry, hopeful, guilty, revolutionary. I love her. Oh, and her and Glinda are still really gay.

10. Harry and the Wrinklies by Alan Temperley (REREAD)

Now we come to the books I reread in August when I had some time off work. Harry gets orphaned and is sent to live with his elderly relatives and their elderly friends (hence the title). Little does he know, they're all ex-cons and pretty much modern day Robin Hoods. Also, badass. Still a great book, even if it's technically for kids. I need to reread the sequels sometime.

11. Maximum Ride by James Patterson (REREAD)

Edgy as fuck but I still kind of love it. Ngl the younger kids and Iggy are a lot more fun than Max and Fang though.

12. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (REREAD)

This one I reread every couple of years or so. One of my favourites, the way the non-chronological (by design and necessity) plots works so well, in both building and retaining suspense, the prose is beautiful (if a little pretentious at times), the characters are...mostly kind of dicks, but in a real, multifaceted kind of way. I kind of love all the references to various books/authors/bands, even if it is kind of pretentious. I discovered Rilke through this book. Jeder Engel ist schrecklich.

13. Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Read this a little while after seeing the film. Obviously they changed a fair amount, but I love them both. Really easy to read in about a day.

14. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Read this on the same weekend as Simon. Loved it a LOT. I relate to both Leah and Abby a whole lot and it just felt so real to the experience of being a (bi) teenage girl. Wish there'd been a bit more to the ending maybe? But maybe that's just me being greedy. Still trying to persuade @judasisgayriot to read it. This might well be my book of the year.

15. Vox by Christina Dalcher

After I finished Leah on the Offbeat I was looking for something else to read. Picked this up in Waterstones because it sounded like an interesting concept for a dystopia (women are only allowed to say 100 words a day - if they say more, they get electrocuted by a bracelet attached to their wrist). The main character is white, straight and middle class, so that's definitely the majority of the experience we get to see, but there is some examination of being gay and/or a poc in this dystopian culture. Overall an interesting examination on how language can be used as a weapon, and to control people. A Handmaid's Tale with a difference and (spoiler!) a happy ending.

16. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

I didn't get/read this one at the same time as Leah and Simon because I was put off by how het it sounded, lol. The main character is straight (afaik) but it's still a pretty great book and she's pretty relatable.

17. My Mum Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson

Tracy Beaker all grown up! As told through the eyes of her (much quieter and less troublesome) daughter. Pretty great and interesting to see Tracy all grown up but still very much Tracy. Lots of drama and Justine Littlewood ruining everything as usual. Complete with an implausible happy ending (but it's great anyway, and tbh we all need those sometimes). Also, Cam is a #confirmed lesbian.

18. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (REREAD)

I'm not sure how many times I've reread The Book Thief now, but it must have been at least ten. I reread it at least every year but often it's been more than that. Still amazing, obviously, but I dunno, I didn't feel as into it this time? I didn't cry (for the first time ever!) while reading it, although that might have been because I read it at work. Mostly I was reading it to prepare for Zusak's new book, which I got for Christmas.

19. Holes by Louis Sachar (REREAD)

First time I've reread this since high school, and it's still brilliant. 'Nuff said.

20. The Bi-ble: An Anthology of Personal Narratives and Essays about Bisexuality edited by Lauren Nickodemus and Ellen Desmond

Bought this from Gay's The Word when I was in London back in May, only got round to reading it in December. Some really good stuff in here, I related hard to a lot of it (and not so much to other parts). Recommended reading for anyone who's bi or wants to understand more about bisexuality.

21. Call of the Wild by Guy Grieve

I picked this up on a whim from my pile of unread books because I wanted something to read before I got new books for Christmas. (Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, I only finished it on Boxing Day). Really interesting, I'm so fascinated by life in very cold, harsh, unforgiving places (only partly because of the wolves) and this was a really interesting true story of how a guy (called Guy) from Scotland manages to build his own cabin and live out in the wild of the Alaskan Interior through the Winter.

22. Combat Magicks by Steve Cole

A Doctor Who novel (the first of three I got for Christmas!) and the last book I read in its entirety in 2018. At the site of a battle between the Romans and the Huns (which is why I chose it first, sounded really cool), so-called "witches" manipulate everything both sides do. Surprise! They're aliens. The Doctor calls Yaz her bestie a lot and it's adorable. Ryan gets a girlfriend who stans the Doctor (she's basically part of Roman Torchwood and she's awesome). Graham has a bath with a witch (well, nearly).

Currently reading:

Eat Up! by Ruby Tandoh

I'm about half way through this, so it doesn't quite count as a book I read in 2018, but I thought I should include it. Anti-diet culture, embracing food for what it is, everything it is, while examining the different things (gender, race, class) that affect our relationship with food.

[ramajmedia]

Kevin Smith's Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes | ScreenRant

Kevin Smith might not be the most revered director in Hollywood, but he has a dedicated cult fan base that loves what he does. He was also responsible for one of the first cinematic universes, dubbed the View Askewniverse.

Smith was tying together movies and their sequels with other movies and their sequels before anyone had even heard of Iron Man. He’s predominantly a director of comedies, but he’s also given us horror films and episodes of superhero shows. Some of Smith’s movies have been acclaimed by critics, while others have been viewed less favorably. So, here are Kevin Smith’s Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes.

12 Cop Out (18%)

This is the first and last time that Kevin Smith has directed a movie that he didn’t write. It’s a buddy cop action comedy (scarce on both action and comedy) starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as a couple of detectives on the trail of a rare baseball card.

RELATED: The 10 Best Characters Kevin Smith Created, Ranked

Smith and Willis famously clashed on the set, which resulted in a movie that felt very disjointed. On top of that, the script wasn’t very inspired. The characters didn’t feel like real people, the plot plodded along, and it didn’t end with a satisfying conclusion. The movie was a disaster from start to finish, on-screen and off.

11 Yoga Hosers (22%)

The second installment in what Kevin Smith is calling his “True North trilogy” (three vaguely connected horror-comedies set in Canada) is even zanier than the first – and the first involved a guy getting turned into a walrus!

Yoga Hosers stars Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily-Rose Depp as a pair of convenience store clerks (both named Colleen) who have to fend off a horde of Nazi sausages. The movie was panned by critics, who felt that Smith’s downfall was self-indulgence and laziness, but let’s face it: a movie about Nazi sausages is never going to be boring.

10 Jersey Girl (42%)

This was Kevin Smith’s attempt to pivot his career towards more audience-friendly material. He’d built up a niche fan base with comedies that were crass, crude, and filled with expletives. Jersey Girl was an attempt at a heartwarming Hollywood romcom.

RELATED: MCWho? 10 Shared Cinematic Universes You Forgot About

It stars Ben Affleck as a widowed single father who reluctantly dips his toe back in the dating pool when he meets an “it” girl played by Liv Tyler. The movie has its heart in the right place, but unfortunately, the most notable thing about Jersey Girl is that it was the first major motion picture to contain a joke about 9/11.

9 Tusk (45%)

One of the only movies to be adapted from a podcast episode, Tusk stars Justin Long as a podcaster who goes out to interview a crazy old man, played by Michael Parks, who wants to turn him into a walrus.

This was based on an episode of Kevin Smith’s podcast SModcast, in which he and co-host Scott Mosier discussed a Gumtree ad where a man had offered a room at his place rent-free to anyone who’d be willing to dress up in a walrus costume. The movie is as weird as it sounds, but unfortunately, that weirdness becomes excessive at a certain point.

8 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (52%)

Jay and Silent Bob are sort of the R2-D2 and C-3PO of the View Askewniverse. They appear in every movie to provide lovable support. But there’s a reason why R2-D2 and C-3PO have never been given their own movie (well, not yet – give Disney some time and they’ll get there).

RELATED: Every Single Kevin Smith/View Askewniverse Movie (In Chronological Order)

They’re better party guests than they are hosts. The same goes for Jay and Silent Bob. They’re fun in small doses, but a little tiresome when they take center stage. Having said that, the upcoming Jay and Silent Bob Reboot does look like it’s going to be a lot of fun.

7 Mallrats (55%)

Kevin Smith’s sophomore effort failed to drum up the same critical acclaim as his directorial debut. Where Clerks was about a bunch of people talking in a convenience store, Mallrats was about a bunch of people talking in a mall. In theory, anyone who liked Clerks should like Mallrats.

It doesn’t have the rawness of Clerks as there’s a lot more wackiness, while the larger studio budget allowed by Clerks’ success actually became its successor’s downfall. However, it has the same zany New Jerseyan characters with New Jerseyan dialogue, as well as a hilarious Stan Lee cameo, so it’s not all bad.

6 Red State (60%)

The first non-comedy directed by Kevin Smith, Red State is a thriller with horror elements about a trio of high school students who are lured into a house with the promise of sex and end up getting captured to be sacrificed by a sadistic religious cult. As a firefight breaks out between the cult and the police, these kids struggle to escape.

It’s an exciting movie with a strong hook and plenty of action. It’s not perfect by any means – its climax is resolved disappointingly quickly and the stakes escalate rapidly at the start and stay at the same place for the rest of the movie – but it is an enjoyable thriller.

5 Clerks II (63%)

The sequel to Kevin Smith’s directorial debut swapped the black-and-white film for color and swapped the convenience store setting for a fast-food restaurant. It begins with the store from the first one burning down and Dante and Randall taking jobs at a fast food place called Mooby’s.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Clerks

This time around, even worse things happen to the poor guys, but it leads them to even greater emotional resolutions than the first one, too. Sadly, it looks as though Clerks III has been called off for good and we’ll never get to see the Clerks trilogy concluded, but at least this one left the characters in a good place.

4 Zack and Miri Make a Porno (65%)

Kevin Smith hoped that Zack and Miri Make a Porno would be his first big box office hit because it had a high-concept premise and two members of the Apatow company of actors – Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks – in the lead roles.

Alas, thanks to a reserved marketing campaign and the fact that most theaters couldn’t even name the movie, it performed as well as Smith’s other movies (a middling response; not a bomb, but not a smash hit by any means). It’s a shame because the movie found the perfect balance between mainstream Hollywood comedy and idiosyncratic Kevin Smith romp for the first time in the director’s career.

3 Dogma (67%)

A passion project of sorts for Kevin Smith, who was raised a devout Catholic, Dogma tells the tale of two fallen angels who try to get back into Heaven based on a loophole in God’s rules, but since such a loophole would prove that God is fallible, their success could undo the history of all creation.

RELATED: The 6 Best And 5 Worst Kevin Smith/View Askewniverse Movies (According To IMDb)

The film inspired protests from Christian groups (some of which Smith attended in disguise as a joke). It takes on the subject of religion in a comical, but ultimately respectful way. Everyone in the ensemble cast – from George Carlin to Alan Rickman to Alanis Morrisette as God – is fantastic.

2 Chasing Amy (87%)

The premise of Chasing Amy makes it sound like a crass, juvenile, high-concept romantic comedy. It’s about a comic book artist who falls in love with a girl, only to be devastated when he finds out she’s a lesbian. However, in the hands of Kevin Smith, this is actually a poignant reflection on sexual identity and human relationships.

Holden and Alyssa are a proxy for any pair where one person wants to be with the other, but due to uncontrollable circumstances, they just can’t be. Chasing Amy introduced audiences to some key players in the View Askewniverse, not to mention some cult icons of the ‘90s.

1 Clerks (88%)

The movie that made Kevin Smith’s career remains his best-reviewed work. It’s a comedy set over the course of one really bad day in a convenience store clerk’s life, and the story behind the film’s production is almost as interesting as the film itself.

Smith maxed out ten credit cards to shoot it; he shot it on black-and-white film because it was cheaper than color; he used the convenience store he was working in as a location, and since he was working there all day, he could only shoot at night (hence a running gag about the shutter being stuck all day)

It premiered at Sundance to instant acclaim and made Smith a household name.

NEXT: Peter Jackson's Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes

source https://screenrant.com/kevin-smiths-movies-ranked-rotten-tomatoes/

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

...

“I was really enraged over “One More Day”. Having been on the Ditko side of the argument for so long, I finally saw that Marvel was totally against letting Peter Parker age and develop new stories. I had planned on protesting the books. But, then they hooked me with the creative teams. Then, they brought back Norman Osborn.”

 Er no they didn’t they brought HARRY Osborn back...pointlessly....

 “Plus, they were trying new stuff and it wasn’t terrible.”

 By new stuff I wonder if they mean ‘Guess who this Goblin themed character is’ and ‘Oh no Spider-Man is framed’ or ‘Yuk yuk Peter just can’t get a date lulz!’

 And by not terrible I wonder if they mean ‘Hey look it’s the Chameleon and his whole history with Peter Parker is being ignored so we can imply he’s raping a woman’ and ‘Here watch this woman take advantage of Peter when he’s drunk before turning on a dime into a racist and sexist sterotype of Latin American woman’ or ‘Let’s ruin the Lizard and Kraven’s Last Hunt for everybody’.

  “What was going on here? Constant creative rotation to keep things fresh and lively?”

 Fresh as in a fresh way to suck shit as inconsistent story and artistic beats pile up to insanity.

  “Villains being reintroduced as the classic threats we know them to be?!?”

 Because we didn’t have that before OMD and needed the marriage gone for that to be the case.

  “Then, we got to see Marcos Martin and Dan Slott on the book. Spider-Man had entered into a new Golden Age. ”

 John Romita Senior’s run was a Golden Age.

 Roger Stern’s run was a Golden Age.

 2004 was a Golden Age.

 Mary Jane dates a loser cleberity because she’s out of character whilst Peter Parker invades people’s privacy which is even MORE out of character and here comes Mysterio alive and well ignoring everything we knew about him for the past 10 years isn’t a Golden Age. Its just hot trash.

  “But, what of Mary Jane? She was Peter’s wife and the mother of their disappeared baby. Would we ever get some sort of closure? Hell no. What was more surprising was how little it mattered.”

  WTF does ‘it didn’t matter’ even mean in this context?

  It mattered to most of the readers hence they kept teasing us with reconciliation to spike sales over and over again before just giving us an AU book...then bringing them back for real!

  “ Does that say a lot for Mary Jane and her defined role in the Spider-Man universe. I venture to say that it did. But, why are now realizing the futile nature of Peter being married and its importance to Mary Jane?”

 Yeah. It’s so futile to have character development for the lead and second biggest character that was the bedrock of 20 years of stories that by and large were better than the objective trash that followed int heir wake and fundamentally damaged both characters going forward.

 “Mary Jane has always never made sense for Peter Parker or Spider-Man. It was wish fulfillment for a guy that went from puny nerd to crushing multiple samples of poon in a three year period.”

  This sexist bullshit again.

  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and even if that wasn’t true Peter is himself attractive and even if he was ‘average looking’ someone as attractive like MJ would marry someone like Peter all the time in the real world.

 It was their personalities and shared histories that made the relationship make sense.

 To dismiss MJ’s backstory and the inter-personal emotions between them that made the relationship happen is ignorant and a clear sign of either not having read or not having paid attention to the material.

 The hard truth is MJ pretty much ALWAYS made sense for Spider-Man. She wasn’t wish fulfilment she was her own well rounded character who organically developed in tandem with Peter, as Nick Spencer himself has corroborated.

  “Gwen was his equal,”

 How?

 Gwen was more financially affluent than Peter, had a higher social standing afforded by her father’s job and their comparative wealth to Peter.

  If we are talking her brains, Gwen wasn’t anywhere close to Peter’s league. Peter was the kid whipping up web-fluid in his bedroom as a teenager. Gwen was...someone who was in his science class. A statement that could apply to Harry.

  “ Betty was the older woman and Mary Jane was the neighbor’s niece thrown upon him. ”

 Betty was younger than him canonically Stan lee said so in a letters page but even if she wasn’t in the context of the times she wouldn’t been a few years removed from high school and Peter would’ve been a senior. Big whoop.

 Betty’s place has little to do with her age but more to do with just being his first romantic experience.

  As for MJ putting aside how she was retconning to not be his neighbour, that assessment for her character applies to the Silver Age and literally no other period of time beyond it. That was NOT her role in the Bronze age in the 1970s, the DeFalco run of the 80s and obviously not the time during the 1990s or 2000s when they were married.

  WTF is with his toxic notion that a character is not allowed to develop FFS!

  MJ hasn’t been the nieghbour’s blind date for him for the majority of her existence.

   “Mary Jane doesn’t even show up until the classic final page of her debut issue. Sure, it’s one of the best entrances in comic history. However, Mary Jane already feels like a put on intruder into a world that she doesn’t understand.”

  Correct and Norman Osborn wasn’t revealed as the Goblin until 4 issues before that, Gwen Stacy didn’t die until 7 years after that and Venom never showed up until 22 years after that.

  I guess all that shit is irrelevant to the character and mythology of Spider-Man and is just totally optional and superfluous.

  I’m sorry I never realized only the first 4 years and few months of Spider-Man mattered.

  I never realized Venom, Hobgoblin, Carnage, KINGPIN and all the OTHER shit from after ASM #41 were ‘intruders’ in Spider-Man’s world.

  Give me a fucking break.

   “She spends the next year dancing through the comic and pushing off the boys. ”

  And again, the early years of a character don’t = the inherent nature of the character that is never allowed to develop beyond that ever. If it did the X-Men would’t ever need Wolverine or Storm and Dick Grayson being Nightwing wouldn’t matter at all.

  “Peter grows closer to Gwen until she eventually dies, then he’s forced back onto Mary Jane. ”

  No, he and MJ over the course of 2 years of masterful stories by Conway gradually grow closer organically.

  Can you spell ‘Gwen Stan’?

  “Mary Jane rejects him, then he starts associating with related ESU students, Marvel Team-Up guest stars and the Black Cat.”

 That’s YEARS later. Gwen dies in 1973. Peter and MJ hook up in 1974. They break up in like 1978!

  “When all of those go into the crapper, Mary Jane shows up and he proposes. ”

 Oh dear god this is a quintessential example of buying into Marvel propaganda.

 That isn’t the sequence of events.

  First of all MJ showd up DURING his relationship with Felicia.

 THEN she revealed she knew he was Spider-Man and became his confidant.

  THEN peter and Felicia broke up.

  THEN he and MJ began growing closer and closer.

  THEN he had one last fling with Felicia following a seeming rejection by MJ.

 THEN he proposed to MJ.

  All that shit played out between approximately 1983-1987. That’s about FOUR YEARS of publication with THREE titles running simultaneously!

 “Parker gets rejected, then MJ accepts due to a pending marriage in the Spider-Man comic strip.”

 Again no. Yeah the wedding we got occurred due to synching with the newspaper strip but the build up to it was in the works for years by DeFalco and Frenz who were in charge of the book and embellished by Peter David and other people on the satellites. It wasn’t intended as actually leading to them crossing the threshold as man and wife but the build up to make that happen and for it to hypothetically happen anyway still existed.

 “That’s right, kids. Peter and Mary Jane only got married because Marvel wanted to tie it into an unrelated storyline in the national newspaper comic strip.”

 Again that’s true but the build up for to nevertheless make sense in story was still there and still paid off 4 years of character development.

  “The key point of Peter and MJ’s relationship was based on editorial interference. ”

  Peter and MJ’s relationship began in 1973 nearly 15 years before they got married and it occurred out of a sincere desire by the writer to tell a story about grief.

 “Tom DeFalco had actually spent a storyline early explaining how MJ figured out Peter’s identity, but kept it to herself. ”

 Er...no he didn’t. He explained she knew his identity but never explained how.

 And...this kind of egregiously undermines the central argument right here.

  “Then, made a very reasonable argument for why she could like Peter as a friend. ”

 And then along with Frenz his collaborator and Peter David spent the next 3 or so years developing their relationship as clearly much more than friendship so why is this fuckwit taking one line from ASM #259 totally out of context and ignoring all the stuff it led to.

 Oh right....in order to support the argument via lying.

  “Cut to two years later....”

 It was more than 2 years.

  “forced attacks and a second rejected marriage”

 Forced attacked? Alastair Smythe made the natural presumption that MJ was affiliated with Spider-Man based upon his encounter with her in ASM Annual #19.

  “then MJ is cool about dealing with Peter.”

 No. MJ has a change of heart after resolving her commitment issues directly connected to her estrangement from her sister and her bad blood with her father which Peter helped her to resolve in the course of the story where she accepts his proposal.

   Learn to read the damn stories!

  “Why was it such a big deal? Why did we loft MJ up to this status that doesn’t seem deserved?”

  Because it was wholly deserved based upon the actual stories that were written and not the propaganda assessment this article is pushing.

 “The marriage issue is so confusing. It happened in the first Amazing Spider-Man issue I ever read and most of the imagery has come to dominate my opinion of Spidey through the years. Whether it’s the marriage nightmare with the villains attacking the guests or the robbery with Electro; these images are what I see in my head when I see Spidey. Everything after that point was an excuse to force MJ into action, whether it was Venom attacking for the first time or the creepy landlord stalking her. ”

 Putting aside how ‘everything’would have to mean literally 100% of each Spider-Man story ever when there were many issues MJ either didn’t appear or had a small role...why would this be a bad thing?

  You have a supporting character...they are important...they are used within the narrative...this is bad because why again?

  The sexism and hypocrisy is strong with this point because half the time MJ gets shit because she didn’t do ENOUGH in the marriage. But when she is involved within the super side of things in some capacity it’s forced and bad.

  How?

  A super villain knows Peter’s identity and invades his home, targeting someone clone to him who he maybe lives with. That’d been happening since the silver age with Aunt May, Betty Brant and Gwen Stacy.

  As for her getting kidnapped by a stalker, this happens in real life especially to women and famous people and famous women. Spider-Man is a reflection of real life so WTF is the problem with this? HOW is this forced.

  “For next decade, everything became about MJ’s pregnancy, habits and constant fears for Peter.”

  Again, ‘everything’ would need to mean 100% of stories.

 MJ was pregnant for under 2 and a half years, not a decade.

 Not every story revolved around her fears for Peter.

 Her smoking habit lasted for less than 2 years too.

 And there was after all a period of time when Peter wasn’t even the main character of the damn series.

 And of course the notion of ‘everything’ or even ‘most things’ REVOLVING around MJ is bullshit because hate to break it to you but MJ was never the main character, Peter was.

 Everything revolved around him and since she was his wife a lot of stuff revolved around her which is called ‘Godd Wrting’.

 Notice how a shitton of screen time and subplots revolve around the wives of the main characters of drug dealer and mafia boss Walter White and Tony Soprano in the 2 most critically acclaimed TV shows of all time, Breaking Bad and the Sopranos.

  USING supporting characters and giving them screen time is IMPORTANT!

  It’s also the reason people hated Aunt May for decades until JMS started doing this in 2001! That’s near damn 40 years of Aunt May being mostly underutilized and useless to the point where people hated her and wanted her to die. THEN a lot of stories or story moments began involving or revolving around her and opinions changed.

  “The comic was quickly becoming a relationship drama, when we weren’t dealing with fake robot parents, clones, the Superhuman Registration Act or Aunt May getting shot. ”

 a)     The dumbass who wrote this referred to events across the decade following the marriage and then included 2 things AFTER that point in time

b)     This is again a lie it wasn’t a relationship drama

c)     God forbid there be relationship drama in a book that heavily involved soap opera elements and also the real life of the hero who could be you, i.e. someone who has to deal with relationship drama a lot because most people in real life do

 “Enough was enough, as the time came to re-evaluate what MJ brought to the team. ”

 A grounding for Peter. Character development for him. Strong female representation. A human hero who didn’t need to fight villains to be heroic. A realistic flawed and complex human character in a series all about that? A confidant for the main character? An exposition device?

  “The answer was that she is a party girl who worked better as an X Factor.”

  Get fucked and read some comics beyond the Silver Age hack.

MJ STOPPED being a party girl or an X-Factor in 1973!

  “The mystery created by Romita and Lee was long dead and that revealed something didn’t work. ”

 It’s so interesting this author will quote one line from ASM #259 and then totally ignore the rest of the entire issues which developed MJ into a supporting character and confidant who mirrored Peter.

 Because she just didn’t work.

  Get fucked.

  “MJ isn’t meant to be understood by Peter, she’s out of his league.”

 There is no such things as leagues. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and any two people with enough time, compassion and empathy can come to understand one another. Peter came to understand MJ via her tragic backstory which echoed his own.

  “Ultimately, what matters is that Mary Jane stays a viable character in the Spider-Man universe”

 Which she was for over 2 decades and even longer before that when she stopped being a party girl.

  “While she is a personality mis-match, she’s a life-long friend that knows a lot about the man behind the mask. ”

  How are their personalities mis-matched.

  “That kind of grounding is absent outside of a direct family tie to Peter. When MJ makes Mephisto end their marriage during “One More Day”, ”

  GET FUCKED!

  Mj doesn’t MAKE Mephisto do shit. This is yet more of the author swallowing and regurgitating Marvel’s sexist lies. Peter put MJ on the spot with an untenable position then she sweetens Mephisto’s deal. Mephisto made the offer though. MJ didn’t make anyone do shit, especially Mephisto. She just complied with his wishes.

  “she whispers something that we don’t find out until “One Moment in Time”. Unfortunately, this twist is negated by the fact that Peter forces MJ to remember their life together as it was, but the duo chooses to split and move on.”

 Fuck this article even fails to accurately represent the events of the bullshit storyt hat supports their claim.

 MJ’s whisper to Mephisto takes places before he changes time and Peter forcing MJ to remember (more like he forces her to not forget) occurres for unrelated reasons after time has been altered. The two things aren’t directly connected.

  Moreover the duo don’t CHOOSE to split, MJ leaves him.

 At least represent the bs you are defending accurately.

  “It’s a tricky setup, but it’s one that has led Spider-Man back to the promise of the early 1980s”

 It’s not tricky it’s hacky.

 It didn’t lead Spider-Man back to the promise of the 1980s because things weren’t written as well.

 Moreover the early 1980s were when O’Neil was writing Spider-Man and the series sucked shit, why would you want to go back to that?

 In fact even if it didn’t suck why would you want to go BACK to something antiquated as being 25-30 years old FFS!

  “There are multiple people in his life demanding certain things, but they all want to push him forward. Even Mary Jane has setup her own business and works as an outside factor in Peter’s life.”

All of which didn’t require ending the marriage or a deal with Satan to facilitate.

 “The book is “The Amazing Spider-Man” for reason and not “Mary Jane Knows Best” for a reason.”

 Get fucked the book was never that during the marriage either.

 “ Supporting characters work when they have a defined role for our central figure.”

You mean like a life partner, best friend, confidant and life line to normalacy.

 “After a quarter century in the main book, MJ lost that focus and the story suffered.”

 After what feels like a quarter century reading this article I feel like my brain has suffered from the lies and misinformation contained within it.

 “While we have turned back the clock on that matter, something harsh remains. Why can’t a woman be on par with Spider-Man?”

She can be but when she is sexist jackasses like this knock her down and just plain lie, misrepresent or twist things to pretend things are untenably bad when they aren’t.

 “ Much has been made out of his MC2 counterpart Spider-Girl. Sure, it’s his daughter as a legacy character keeping the identity alive, but she manages to find time for her retired father in her book. But, her book keeps getting cancelled and the readership of that title is a tenth of what Amazing Spider-Man pulls down. Point rested.”

 Point no rested.

 Spider-Girl suffered in sales because it was a female led book at a time when that wasn’t something the market was kind to. It suffered because it was a mass market book sold on the direct market. It suffered because it underined Marvel’s desired narrative and was spearheaded by a former EIC, people who traditionally generate a lot of bad blood courtesy of consequent editorial regimes who throw them to the wolves. It suffered because they wanted to promote another character with the name. It suffered because it was an out of continuity title.

 It has shit to do with anything related in this dumpster fire of an article.

  In summary:

  This article is hot trash peddling sexist propaganda in line with a false narrative Marvel wants.

 Kill it with fire.

But what can I expect from a writer who doesn’t even know Eddie Brock wasn’t a photojournalist or thinks Ned Leeds was ‘tricked’ into becoming the Hobgoblin.