#hence the cork fight

[lostandbackagain]

im having so much fun with this reread post-MFOM for so many reasons and rn it's because having heard skulduggery's thought process out loud it's even more obvious that he's coaching valkyrie and trying to train her observation skills and fluid thinking. much as she would like to think otherwise he's very rarely actually asking for answers he doesn't know

even better that realizing this eventually causes valkyrie to crash out because he "only hangs out with her because he likes her"

[silentsamlikesham]

More Zosan fluff because I'm obsessed. Slight hurt!Zoro. Pre-relationship massages

..........................

It’s only as Sanji signs off the last of the stock in his logbook that he realises how quiet it is. He’s not sure he’s ever gotten through a full review without someone crashing into the kitchen to interrupt him. 

The crew may be asleep at this hour, but still, usually whoever is on watch will find an excuse to want a snack or a drink. Sanji slips the book back into the little shelf beneath the sink, brushing himself off as he stands, stretching out his limbs after having leant over the kitchen counter for the last hour or so.

Perhaps everyone was too tired. They’d had a long few days of fighting on an island that now was, fortunately, miles behind them. He’d only woken up from his own injuries a few hours ago, hence why he was wide awake now as the moon sat high above them. 

Who was even on watch tonight? Surely, he hadn’t gotten it confused and it’s meant to be himself up in the crow’s nest.

He sticks his head out the window of the galley and cranes his neck upwards, spotting a familiar flash of green in the moonlight. Huh. If it was Zoro up there, Sanji definitely should have seen him by now. 

He closes the window and finds his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip. 

“What happened?” Sanji had slurred the question as soon as he opened his eyes, lying comfortably in the ship’s infirmary.

“You took a hit to the head. Chopper says you’re fine though.” 

It was Nami settled beside him, a map spread across her lap as she watched over him.

He’d tried to put on his usual grandeur with thanking her and complimenting her, but he coughed half-way through his first chant. She’d passed him a glass of water with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Take it easy, you’re bruised all over. Zoro wasn’t exactly gentle dragging you here either, it wasn’t easy with his own wounds.”

Moss head had brought him to the ship?

Sanji grabs a bottle of wine he’s hidden behind several sacks of grain and makes the quick decision to head to the crow’s nest. He convinces himself it’s to even the field, to not feel like he owed Zoro anything for getting him back safely. There was no other reason he’d willingly check in on the idiot. He didn’t need Sanji’s worry. That’s not what they did. 

He climbs the crow’s nest, his chest complaining every time he stretches a hand upwards, gripping at the rope ladder and hoisting himself higher and higher. He doesn’t bother knocking, just swings the hatch open.

Zoro is sat facing the hatch, his back resting against the wooden curved wall of the crow's nest as his head almost hangs over the edge. His legs are sprawled out with his swords sitting half over his lap. His eyes had been closed, and for a moment Sanji wonders if the bastard had fallen asleep.

His eyes open slowly, glaring at the intruder, his gaze hardening further when he realises it’s the damn cook that’s come to annoy him.

“What do you want.”

His voice is strained, missing its usual bite. It’s then Sanji notices how rigid the man is sitting, not lounging like he usually does when he’s on watch.

“Thought you were dead up here when you didn’t come looking for a drink.” Sanji scoffs as he slowly pulls himself up, closing the door shut with a wince as a twinge of pain courses from his wrist to his shoulder. He should really keep track of which limbs he shouldn’t be swinging around.

“So, you brought me one?” Zoro is instantly suspicious, eyeing up the bottle like it’s laced with poison, or maybe it’s going to explode. 

“Don’t get used to it.” Sanji warns, pulling the cork from the top of it and taking a swig. It’s a welcome distraction as he sits down beside the brute, more pain blossoming along his hamstrings at the action. He passes the bottle without a glance at the other, the sloshing of wine the only sound between them.

Zoro just grunts, not in the mood to fight the cook. He takes the bottle and downs at least a glass worth of the liquor, sighing happily as he settles it between them. 

He squirms after moving his shoulder, his back aching from being thrown into a wall the day before. Usually, he could take it but the damn fishman had knocked him hard. No matter how he sat or lay down now, nothing could keep the discomfort away.

Zoro had even tried mediating earlier, thinking about anything but his pain, but it didn’t work. There just wasn’t enough pain to block out, it was more like an irritating throb. He’d forget about it but then the tiniest shift of his shoulder or back muscles would have his muscles convulsing and tightening in odd ways. He shifts his weight as softly as he can, hoping the cook doesn’t notice the weakness.

Of course, he does. Sanji can see the strain in Zoro’s neck, the sweat pooling on Zoro’s brow despite the cool temperature in the crow’s nest and the sea breeze that brushes past them. The idiot is in pain, maybe even more than Sanji is.

“You should get some painkillers from the infirmary; Chopper keeps them in the first aid box.” Sanji suggests, wondering if he hasn’t left yet because he’s too tired to try moving again or because seeing Zoro like this is unsettling enough that he doesn’t want to leave the swordsman alone. 

“Fuck off.” Zoro groans, his skin crawling at the concern. Maybe a fight with the cook would be better, he hates how soft his gaze feels right now. He’s looking at Zoro like he’s fragile.“I dragged your sorry ass back here, why don’t you worry about yourself.”

“Shut up, stupid moss for brains. Just because I hate the sight of you doesn’t mean I can’t suggest something as simple as pain killers when you’re obviously in pain. No need to get so fucking defensive.” Sanji bites back, his hackles raised, definitely not getting defensive himself.

“M’fine.” Zoro insists, shutting his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Sanji’s stupid eyebrows any longer. 

“Clearly.” Sanji mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What are you even still doing here, it’s my watch. You’ve done your little delivery, leave me alone.”

The cook never hangs around like this. Zoro wonders if it’s some pride thing, maybe Curley was feeling embarrassed having to be dragged home. Well, that’s not Zoro’s fault. Maybe next time the idiot can just stay conscious. 

Sanji lights a cigarette instead. Blowing the smoke upwards against the stars. With his eyes closed Sanji can take a longer look at his crewmate without worrying about a sudden sword being pulled on him. 

Zoro can sleep anywhere. After being a swordsman and being capable of getting lost anywhere he goes, his ability to sleep is what he’s most infamous for amongst the crew. He can even nap standing up, Sanji has witnessed it himself.

Yet, he looks uncomfortable right now. Sitting in maybe one of his favourite napping spots on the whole ship. His posture is all wrong, his shoulders bunched up, his neck straining to keep his head at an odd angle. 

Sanji is probably about to get a limb cut off, but despite it being Zoro, he still doesn’t like seeing one of his nakama in pain. Unless of course it was Sanji’s doing. 

He picks up the wine bottle right as Zoro reaches blindly for it, the sound of it scraping off the wood enough to have him opening his eyes, narrowing them in suspicion as Sanji holds the bottle just out of reach.

“Turn around.” Sanji insists, trying to sound as calm as possible as not to set their usual bickering off.

“Huh?” Zoro grumbles, completely taken aback by being ordered to do anything by the cook.

“Turn around, dumbass.” Sanji retorts, his patience running out immediately. Okay, so apparently, he had none when it came to Zoro.

“I don’t take orders from you, dart-brow.” 

Sanji digs his fingernails into the palm of his free hand to stop himself from raising his leg and forcing Zoro to do it.

“You want the drink, turn around. I’m not going to clobber you, Marimo.”

“What the fuck do you want then?” Zoro tilts his head, looking surprisingly cute- STUPID. Looking incredibly stupid as he tries to work out what Sanji is up to. 

Sanji waves the bottle teasingly instead, and Zoro realises he’s way too sore to be putting up with Sanji’s shit. So, with a sigh he grabs the bottle lightning fast and spins 90 degrees away from Sanji. Resting his shoulder heavily on the crows nest. 

The position is so much worse, his legs being forced to bend against the curve of the space. His shoulders and back complain as they’re forced to hold himself up. Maybe the idiot cook just didn’t want Zoro to see him struggle to his feet. Whatever, he’d be gone quicker this way.

But Sanji doesn’t get up. Instead, he finds himself choking as his throat tightens, staring at the unprotected back of his crewmate. A back that Zoro defended with his life, a back he would never leave open to an enemy, would never allow a blade to pierce or mark. Here it was, unprotected, pointing at who Sanji imagined was Zoro’s least favourite person on the ship. 

He shakes himself out of the train of thought. He’s definitely overthinking this.

Still, he going to appreciate the trust while he has it. It means something special. So, carefully he scoots forwards, sitting on his knees behind Zoro despite the prickles of pain in his legs from the position.

Zoro jumps when he places his hands on the dip of the other man’s shoulders, right beside his neck.

“What the fuck are you-” Zoro’s panicked question is cut off by Sanji digging his skilled fingers into the lump of muscle there, using pressure to ease the tension away. Zoro can feel things unclicking, pain unfurling from a tight ache to a more bearable throb before it seems to melt away entirely.

Sanji chuckles as the fight leaves the Marimo straight away, the hand that had clasped his swords, ready to smash a hilt into the side of Sanji’s head, lets go. He even places the wine down beside him. Resting his hands on his thighs now as he accidentally moans under his next breath.

Sanji is pushing the bottom of his palm outwards now, dragging the knots until they dissapeared beneath his touch. His thumbs catche more tension along the top of Zoro’s back and Zoro hisses as finally he can drop his shoulders without a shooting pain running from his neck to the bottom of his spine.

“Wha-What are you doing.” Zoro should be embarrassed by how breathless he sounds but as Sanji places the side of his pinkie finger against his spin and pushes harshly outwards towards the back of his shoulder blade, dislodging hours of tension and pain in a couple of swift swipes, he can’t help it. 

It feels good. 

“Stewing in pain is only going to lock up every muscle in your back, Mossbrain. Just let me take care of it.” Let me take care of you.

“Why?” Zoro groans, trying to twist his head to get a read on the cook, but he flinches as his neck tweaks.

Sanji seems to notice the issues and brushes his hands upwards. His fingers grind into the base of his neck, pushing out and downwards, dragging the tension low before massaging it away. 

He doesn't know how to answer Zoro's question, so he lets his hands speak for him.

His fingers brush through the stubble of spikey hair at the base of Zoro’s neck and the swordsman lets in a sharp breath at the tingles that explode from the touch. His brain feels like it’s short circuiting trying to rationalise that Sanji could make him feel this way, could make him relax against his touch, make him lean into his personal space, suddenly yearning to be closer.

“Hmm, maybe I should start calling you putty instead of Moss.” Sanji teases, pleasantly surprised by how the Marimo was unwinding under his touch now. He must have been in more discomfort than Sanji had first thought. 

“Fuck off.” There’s no heat in the comeback. Not when Zoro’s head is now lolling comfortably forward for the first time in two days. His chin nestled against his chest as Sanji continues working through both his shoulders. 

Silence stretching out between them. Neither of them sure what to say as Sanji, always one to enjoy helping his crew, comes to terms with enjoying helping Zoro for the first time. While Zoro is struggling to stay awake as after a day of being unable to nap ends with finally finding solace from the aches. 

He feels warm all over, his chest now swaying with the push and pull of Sanji’s motions. Every time the Cook’s hands make their way back up to his neck, he feels like he’s being electrocuted and then smothered in a warm blanket. His eyelids are drooping now, not the best situation for someone who’s meant to be on watch for the next few hours.

Sanji notices the fatigue taking hold of him. Notices the fists uncurling into shaky fingers. He’s never seen Zoro look so unsteady. 

Well, things were weird enough already, and Sanji isn’t someone who cares for somebody half-arsed.

He pulls his hands away, blushing at the involuntary whimper from Zoro who seems to instantly tense at the sound. The idiot clears his throat and is probably about to say or do something incredibly stupid when Sanji sits directly behind him, his back against the wall, and before Zoro can react, he reaches a hand around to Zoro’s chest and pulls him harshly backwards.

Zoro stares at the stars and the last of the smoke pluming from Sanji’s cigarette. He stares at the upturned chin and calculating eyes of the cook, confused at how he’d gotten into this position.

His face heats up and he’s about to fight back, to uppercut the jerk and kick him out of the crow’s nest, massage or not, the fucker can’t just-

A hand reaches up and ruffles through Zoro’s hair. His eyes almost roll back as he relaxes and feels his back melt peacefully into the thick thighs beneath him. Any fight leaves him as Sanji scratches his scalp, his eyelids fluttering closed as the blonde idiot chuckles fondly.

“Go to sleep, Marimo. I’ll handle the watch.”

“What the fucks gotten into you.” Zoro grumbles, trying to act pissed off as he feels himself slipping away. Leaving himself at the mercy of the Cook.

Sanji doesn’t answer. Instead, he struggles with the question for the next few hours. His hands absentmindedly trace over Zoro’s hair and his chest as he watches the green idiot’s breath even out, his chest rising and falling in a peaceful continuous rhythm.

He tries to convince himself this was all so Zoro couldn’t use saving him as a comeback for the next few weeks. That this was all cannon fodder to tease the Mosshead about for years to come. But as Zoro starts to snore, Sanji realises he like the pressure on his lap.

He likes the warmth that radiates off the human stove. 

He likes taking care of Zoro.

Finally, just as the sun peaks the horizon, as the sky changes colour above them and when Sanji is certain no one is awake for miles, that he’s the only one capable of hearing his own thoughts…he thinks to himself, maybe he just likes Zoro.

[dear-ao3]

spain. or, spain without the s if you are a driver from spain. hello and welcome everyone to the first triple header of the season, and the 1111th formula 1 grand prix. today is june 26, 2024 and lets jump in.

on account of the fact that this is in fact a triple header, we will once again be speed running because if i get behind it is game over for everyone, especially me.

-jumping straight in, in terms of contract news this week we have had none, though there continues to be speculations. so, carlos has still not announced where he is going next year. but he has said that he wants to. during thursdays press conference he said "i dont want to wait any longer, its time to make a decision." thought he did also say that he hasn't figured out where he still wants to and hes still brainstorming with his team about it.

-remember, he also has claimed that every team with an open seat (which would be haas, alpine, sauber, williams, mercedes, rb and maybe even aston) has offered him a contract, but he has accepted none, likely because there isn't one single contract that is giving him everything that he wants in terms of years, money, sponsors, the actual car, etc etc.

-kevin magnussen did sort of throw carlos under the bus a little, saying that he is the "cork in the bottle" of driver contracts right now. it seems like everyone else is waiting for him to make a move before they announce anything themselves, so hence why its been decently dead contract wise this week. kevin did also hint that he might be leaving at the end of the season, but that he doesnt really want to.

-there are rumors that logan has signed with the prema indy car team

-so while there hasn't been contract drama, there definitely has been other drama

-mostly at mercedes?

-merc started the week off strong by getting an anonymous whistle blower email sent to them (at least, to my understanding) that basically said that the team had been purposefully sabotaging lewis's car and pretty much accused george russell of sleeping with toto

-mercedes took this pretty seriously, they denied everything in the email and have reportedly gotten the police involved and are tracing the ip address and all that

-lewis responded as well throwing his support behind george, saying "i think we need support, not negativity. i wasnt aware that george was experiencing negativity. george does nothing but his best every single weekend, and hes developing with the team. so he cant be faulted at all."

-people are also speculating that mercedes got a new instagram admin or just social media admin. if you'll remember, last week they forgot about lewis's sprint podium in china and also merc fans have pointed out that most of the social media posts have been about george since the beginning of the year

-well. mercedes started the week of strong with a post of their best spain moments and most of them were of lewis (because hes been with the team longer) but! the photo dump also included a photo of one valtteri bottas (previous mercedes driver, george russell took his seat in 2022) and one nico rosberg. they also tagged nico. i really couldnt tell you the last time the merc account posted a picture of nico but it definitely wasnt recently

-in case you need a refresher on nico rosberg, he was the 2016 world champion. he beat lewis hamilton in equal machinery that year and then immediately retired after winning the championship. he and lewis were childhood friends, but their friendship (brocedes) did not survive their three year fight for the world championship.

-hilariously, the 2016 spanish gp happened to be one of the climaxes of the brocedes divorce. this is because the two of them crashed into eachother on lap one here. its kind of contested as to whos fault it was but they definitely crashed (this also ended up being max verstappens first win, it was also his first race with red bull)

-reportedly (as in according to nico) toto made them sign a contract after this saying that if they crashed into eahcother again the two of them would have to pay for the damage. also aparently the wrecked side pods are still on display at the merc hq.

-anyway by far the funniest thing to come of this was nico making and editing this video himself, years later, on his youtube channel about the spanish gp track:

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-what does this have to do with anything? well nothing really other than that its important f1 lore

-also. lewis hamilton ran a love is love helmet at least during practice and qualifying this weekend. it was in a slightly more yellow shade of yellow than his usual helmet. it happened though to be pretty much the exact same shade of yellow that nico's helmet used to be (before he changed it to black to cut down on weight)

-and where was nico rosberg during this weekend? well he wasnt in the paddock, ill tell you that. we'll reveal where he was later

-moving away from mercedes, lando was also being a menace (and a pickpocket) as per usual

-lando and oscar also showed up in the most confusing outfits known to mankind. what the fuck was the weather? no one knows not even them

-oscar also posted pictures and a video of him absolutely failing at playing paddle. probably proving alex and logan correct that he sucks

-lando collected a hat and sunglasses during a fan stage that fans made for him and absolutely slayed the moment

-lando also continued with the calling oscar strange nicknames by calling him "osco"

-stake as usual had some bonkers ass social media posts. here's one of them

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-there was massive discussion about the growing prices of race tickets at silverstone (england) which is aparently not yet sold out this year. lewis said that "the prices needed to be reevaluated or something similar, i cant exactly find the quote. "we have to watch ticket prices. i think theyre continuing to rise and the cost of living nowadays, i think its too high. im just thinking from the perspective of a fan that would come with a family. its hugely expensive." they also asked max if he thought red bull dominance was causing people to not buy tickets and he said "i dont think its my fault. the current f1 season is very exciting with multiple teams fighting for wind recently. if a promoter cannot cover all the seats, maybe they need to first look a themselves and see what they are doing wrong. in other places they are managing to fill the stands quite easily."

-haas is involved in a court case with their previous sponsor uralkali. this was the sponsor that they dropped at the beginning of 2022 after it couldnt be proven that they weren't funding the Ukrainian war on the side of the russians. aparently haas owes them money

-david coulthard made fun of logans parking job

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-charles was one of the olympic torchbearers in monaco

-charles also said in a video for ferrari that yes, he did adopt oscar. oscar did not attempt to get adopted by any drivers for the spanish gp.

-and entirely unrelated but danica patrick, one of the sky sports announcers that is generally disliked because among other reasons, she is against women being in motorsports despite the fact that she herself is an ex driver and champion, posted a video on her YouTube channel about the existence of lizard people

-moving on to actual racing

-logan sargeant finally had all the same parts on his car as alex albon, however whether or not those parts worked the same was debated

-vcarb brought an update. this would prove to be a flop.

-f1 tested this graphic

-lance stroll said that adrian newey should go to aston, the newey to ferrari rumors still persist

-and, most interestingly, flavio briatore is back

-who is flavio? well

-if you remember several updates ago i talked about the 2008 singapore grand prix, which was infamous for many reasons but the main one being that Renault and specifically briatore (who was the team principal at the time) were found guilty of race fixing

-essentially, fernando alonso, one of the Renault drivers, had qualified around i think p15 and pitted on lap 14. right after that briatore instructed his other driver, nelson piquet jr, to crash on purpose. this caused a safety car that benefitted fernando immensely because all the other teams pitted and he stayed out cause he was already on fresher tires

-this is also where Filipe massa had an unsafe release from the ferrari pit because the gas hose was still attached to his car, this later would cost him the world champion title and he sued this year over this very race

-this was all discovered because in 2009 piquet jr got fired by renault for underperforming mid season and made a statement to the fia about what had happened at the 2008 singapore race, which sparked an investigation which revealed that briatore had in fact fixed the race bu asking piquet jr to crash. piquet jr agreed because he was in pretty intense contract talks with briatore and wanted to keep his seat

-anyway, all this resulted in briatore getting a life ban from f1, which as later reduced to 15 years. those 15 years are now up. and he was back in the alpine garage this weekend. in ter est ing

-with all that. practice.

-ollie bearman raced in practice 1 for haas. i didnt watch it but i think he did fine. were still waiting on his haas contract to be announced cause it seems very likely.

-charles and lance both committed some war crimes in fp3. charles pretty much boinked into lando and i think that lance impeded someone. cant remember who. its not in my notes for some reason. either way, both only got off with warnings, no penalties. later on, karun said that charles was "as angry as a mosquito in a mannequin store" after getting impeded during practice. he also called i believe it was lando a "fucker" over the radio.

-before qualifying there was a disaster in the mclaren garage in the form of a fire. everyone was fine but lando did come out of the garage in only his no show socks

-lando said that before qualifying he ended up taking over zak browns office instead of his own drivers room because of the fire and said that many people offered to let him into their motorhomes instead

-qualifying was tight. there was a seven way battle for pole: max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, george and lewis. that's right, mercedes still seemed to have their shit together and was battling it out at the front. and ferrari seemed to have put their shit back together after their disappointing canada race. checo had a three place grid penalty from the crash in canada, so he was out of the pole running.

-qualifying in spain is very important because of the 33 races that there have been here, 24 have been won from pole and 30 have been won from the front row.

-and from q1 qualifying was certainly tight. yuki, who ended up out in p16, was only .8 off of pole. and he was out in q1.

-also out was magnussen, ricciardo, albon and sargeant. williams were expecting to to badly tough, vcarb was not because they had brought an upgrade (which clearly flopped. lets remember that danny rics qualified p5 in canada)

-logan also impeded lance, charging his battery while on the racing line. he got a three place grid penalty, and was already starting 20th so he sarted....20th.

-q2 went about the same. it was tight. verstappen, hamilton, norris, russell and sainz all ended within .2 of eachother.

-out in q2 was alonso, bottas, hulkenberg, stroll and zhou. this was actually zhou's first time getting into q2 in a race qualifying.

-which left us with verstappen, perez, sainz, lecelrc, norris, piastri, hamilton, russell and *checks notes* gasly and ocon ??? in q3??? hello alpine what are you doing here???

-alpine aparently though, clearly, had gotten their shit at least slightly together.

-this was where they started to say that the mclaren was faster than the red bull. but not if max verstappen had anything to say about it.

-with two minutes left in qualifying, these were the times:

-max verstappen was on provisional pole with a 1:11.673. lando norris was 0.123 behind him in p2, then lewis hamilton 0.143 behind him in p3. george russell was next in p4, 0.167 seconds behind lewis, and sainz was 0.242 behind george in p5. charles was 0.226 behind carlos in p6, pierre was 1.180 seconds behind charles in p7, ocon was 1.372 seconds behind pierre in p8, checo was 1.388 seconds behind esteban in p9. and oscar was in p10 with no lap time set because his had been deleted.

-everyone had one more, blistering lap. and boy did it shake things up.

-lando was able to find more time and overtook max for pole position! the second of his career! he got pole by 2 hundredths of a second!

-the standings were:

-lando with a 1:11.383 -max +.020 -lewis +.318 -george +.320 -charles +.348 -carlos +.353 -pierre +.474 -checo +.678 -eseteban +.742 -oscar, no time set for track limits again

-and so we had a lando pole, a max p2 and a lewis p3

-strangely, lando was not really super pleased seemingly about the fact that he was on pole?? and he and max had a regular gossip session right after while they were still taking their helmets off

-this was, by the way, the first time mclaren had started on pole in spain since kimi raikkonen in 2005, which was on ollie bearmans literal and actual birthday

-in his post interview lando said that he did "pretty much a perfect lap....my best pole position.....i havent had many" (hes had one)

-max was asked how he feels now that hes not getting "easy poles" and he said "they were never easy poles, its always a battle with yourself, but now there are more teams (battling) which is good for f1" nobody wants the max verstappen dominance to end more than max verstappen lol

-and lewis! was back! he said, predictably "im really happy....its down to everyone back at the factory" and he ALSO said "george did a great job today as well" absolutely quashing the lover boy rumors

-in the press conference lewis, first of all had time to change before the press conference and second told everyone that he had "missed this sofa" he also took a selfie with lando and max while lando was mid sentence

-and the race.

-oh boy the race

-"dont blink for the next 66 laps ladies and gentlemen" crofty said. and crofty was correct because george russell stormed down the front at the start, knocking everyone's socks off and taking the lead from p4!

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-this really bongled things for our friends max and lando who had been fighting eachother and thus, loosing time. this would come back to haunt them, especially lando, later

-george's lead though was short lived because max was within DRS of him, giving him an extra 18kph of speed and over his radio, gp told him "this might be our best opportunity" and before lap three was over max was back in front of george and by lap 4 he was already 1 second ahead of george, and thus, out of drs range

-it was shaping up for a very sexy canada two, electric boogaloo between max, lando, and the two mercedes

-menawhile, the ferraris were doing what ferraris do best. fighting.

-the two of them touched briefly when carlos was passing charles around the outside. charles took this as carlos leaving the track and gaining an advantage and they fought about it over the radio

-"ah, he closed on me, carlos" charles said

-"he touched me, we collided and he pushed me off. he touched my rear right so i was clearly ahead" carlos said

-the two of them really ripped into eachother about this post race in the media pen, with charles saying "i understand its his home race ...so i guess he wanted to do something spectacular but i was probably not the right person to do that with." apparently he also said that they were supposed to save their tires but carlos didnt and overtook him and kind of screwed over the strategy. and carlos said "too many times after the race he complains about something"

-but thats neither here nor there

-by lap 8 the top 6 were all separated by 5.5 seconds. the undercut on this track is insane and almost two seconds. so it was a game of Who Will Pit First. which was about to be a fun game cause they were all on soft tires.

-someone who was not in the top 6 was fernando alonso. and he was "having a pretty miserable time so far" because he was about to get undercut by kevin magnussen. rather disappointing for him at his home race.

-also having a miserable time was nico hulkenberg, who was down in 11th. "he rather likes an 11th place finish" crofty said. "which is just disappointing."

-also disappointing was whatever mclaren was doing. lando and george were running third and fourth. lando could have undercut george. george could have undercut lando. but neither of them pitted. checo pitted though, for another set of soft tires. which was also interesting.

-lando even had a fake out radio saying that they were going to pit him to get george to pit. and it worked. george had a bad pit stop (5.3 seconds in the pit box) on lap 16 and ended ip coming out right behind carlos sainz, further down the order

-meanwhile, Kevin magnussen got a time penalty for a false start. no one was surprised.

-but george was stuck battling carlos now to work his way back up the order, and had lost whatever benefit a new set of tires was going to give him. this was great news for both lando and lewis.

-lewis pitted on lap 17 and had a much smoother pit stop, only 2.3 seconds in the box and he came out in 9th, immediately passing fernando alonso for 8th

-max also pitted on lap 18, and had 1.9 seconds in the box, tying red bulls fastest pit time for the season so far, he came out fourth

-lando was back in the lead, but he was on old soft tires.

-on lap 19 the top 10 were lando, charles, oscar, max, george, carlos, lewis, Fernando, pierre and esteban, though the top three still needed to pit

-lewis was battling with carlos for 6th and after almost touching him, he was able to pass him on lap 20

-"he touched me!" carlos yelled over the radio, loudly expressing his opinion that lewis gained an advantage and should let him by

-lewis did not give him the place back. he also got fastest lap.

-meanwhile, lando was still not pitting, he was trying to go long to beat max in terms of tire age. a one stop was definitely not ideal, but he could be trying for it.

-"any news?" carlos asked on lap 22 about lewis giving him the position back. there was no news. the stewards ruled it as no further action "i dont know why there is rule book if we do not follow it" carlos said, frustrated

-lando was still out on his old soft tires. oscar had already pitted and he was the last mclaren standing on his softs. max was only lapping .6 faster than he was, and he was on brand new tires. the mclaren was the fastest car on track, but red bull had max

-lando finally pitted on lap 23, 2.3 seconds in the pit box, and he came out in 6th. he had extended 6 laps longer than max had, hoping that this would give him an advantage in the end. should this happen, he would be overtaking max for the win at the very end and would need to pit again for softs to do so. he was presently 11.5 seconds behind max

-lando was determined. he set the fastest lap on lap 26 and by lap 27 the gap to max was down to 9 seconds. he was also lapping faster than max

-max also was having problems with his tires "the tires are very inconsistent!" he complained

-while all that was happening, lewis hamilton was holding his own. though mercedes was not really working as a team. on lap 31 george was running in second, and lewis was 1.2 seconds behind him. lando was coming up on lewis. crofty speculated live on air why didnt george just drop back a tad to give lewis the DRS to stay ahead of lando?? but alas, mercedes didnt do that. lewis was overtaken by lando on lap 32

-by lap 36, lando and george were in an overtake battle for second. lando ended up winning the battle. crofty wanted to call it the old switcheroo, but he didnt want to upset people

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-george ended up pitting the lap after, for hards. which was weird and interesting because pretty much no one was on hards. and this turned out to be a bad idea all around

-"this tire does not feel good," george said, predictably on lap 43. "im sliding around already"

-this was great information for all the other teams to Not put their drivers on hards, including sir lewis hamilton, who went onto softs at his pit stop on lap 44. it was at this moment that everyone realized that the mercedes strategy was probably going to favor lewis

-checo, meanwhile, continued to baffle everyone with what was aparently a 3 stop, very far down the order and definitely not helping max at all

-the second round of pit stops had thus begun. max was called in on lap 43 for a set of softs, and was in the pit box for 2.8seconds. he came out third

-lando was 11.7 seconds ahead on the track and said that he was faster than lewis behind him. the team asked him if he wanted to pit. he said "im unsure, are we here to finish first or third?"

-still, they pitted him on lap 48 and it was a slow 3.6 second stop. he needed to come out ahead of lewis in 5th and george in 4th to have any shot at victory. he came out ahead of george just barely. he had 8 seconds to max

-so it was lap 49. max was in the lead, 7.7 seconds ahead of lando who was 1.7 ahead of george who was 0.691 ahead of lewis who was 3.4 seconds ahead of carlos who was 7.4 seconds ahead of charles who was 7.61 seconds ahead of checo who was 4.991 seconds ahead of oscar who was 5.980 seconds ahead of pierre

-meanwhile, nico hulkenberg got a penalty for speeding in the pit lane, lando was pushing hard and not saving his tires, lewis hamilton had DRS on george with no team orders to stay behind him, and yuki also got a 5 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane

-charles also decided to pass carlos for fifth on lap 55.

-lap 58 and lando was now 5 seconds behind max. but he was running out of tires.

-the announcers decided that this would be a good time to talk about driver of the day, who was shaping up to be lando. "what do they get for driver of the day? a hat or something?" crofty asked "love and adoration" karun said. unless of course you are lando norris, he got a trophy made for him by oscar, and he promptly broke it

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-alex albon, who i definitely didnt forget about, he just wasnt doing anything interesting, ran off the track and into the gravel on lap 61. he was displeased

-"what the hell was that?" he asked. "all ok from our side" his engineer said. "no," alex said. "dont say that." cars should not just randomly drive off the track

-up way back at the front, lando had indeed run out of tires and did not have enough to pass max on the last lap. there would be no last lap lando. had he had a better start though, he would have absolutely gotten max

-so they crossed the line: max, lando, lewis, george, charles, carlos, oscar, checo, pierre, esteban, nico, fernando, zhou, lance, danny rics, valtteri, kevin, alex, yuki and logan

-lando was understandably upset. he knew that he had bongled the start and had he not bongled the start he would have won. he was so upset in fact that he did not do his signature champagne pop on the podium.

-max though was pleased with his win because he had to fight for it.

-"what's two seconds between friends?" david coulthard asked him "well its the difference between first and second"

-but the man that we were all here for, was sir lewis hamilton

-"and finally, ladies and gnetlemen welcome back to the podium lewis hamilton!" david said

-lewis was beyond pleased

-george even came over and congratulated him

-are merc really sabotaging lewis's car? idk you tell me!

-they tried to give lewis the wrong trophy on the podium

-and then he got absolutely soaked with champage by max and lando

-while all of that was happening, bottas had a front row seat to whatever absolute ferrari drama was happening in the pit lane

-it was not unlike the time in 2018 (??) when max nearly punched ocon in the garage after he fucked up his race

-in the post race show will and jack doohan talked about a lot of things, but mostly alpine because alpine scored double points this weekend, insanely. and also managed to pull ahead of haas in the champion standings

-will buxton told jack, the alpine reserve driver "im not being rude, but you were nowhere" at the beginning of the year and highlighted jack's work on the sim, and even hinted about him getting a seat for 2025

-he also posted this on his instagram story after the race

-both esteban and pierre were teased with the results, especially because alpine was aparently the fourth fastest car

-fernando alonso was totally and wholly unbothered. he was wearing sunglasses and scootering around, not a single flying fuck to be given to anyone anywhere

-also notably, two weekends in a row, mclaren has had the fastest car and two weekends in a row, max has won. will and others attributed this to the fact that the mclaren team often ask lando his opinion in the car and maybe they shouldn't ask the driver and just go abut their strategy. hm. interesting.

-then we had a smash cut to the press conference. which was essentially "lewis hamilton living his best life at the moment"

-the silliest part of this whole thing though was that lewis managed to get to the cooldown room about five minutes before everyone else, had clearly showered, changed, put on platform loafers, probably done his skincare routine and had time to make tea. "i am going to take a nap" he announced loudly to everyone. and then laid down, put his sunglasses on and blased some bob marley. this was the state that max found him in

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-an absolutely unbothered king. a legend.

-and where, pray tell, was nico rosberg during all of this? cause he was not in spain and he was definitely not commenting on lewis's first podium of the season or his continued record breaking streak of being on the podium in every season he has raced in, which is 18 years

-he was at the eras tour in london with his wife and kids, doing his god given girl dad duties

-idk why he wore a button down shirt, but he did. he also said that:

and

-britney lives on

-oh how the times have changed since spain 2016.

-see you all in austria!

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[signaturecellars]

Staining And Finishing Your Wine Cellar Racks? Read This First!

Building a wine cellar involves a number of steps. One of the most crucial steps is choosing high quality wine cellar racks and protecting them with staining and finishing. And picking a staining product for your wine racks is far more than a design choice. In fact, choosing the wrong stain can leave your wine racks with strange odours and funky taste.

So, continue reading and learn everything you should know before buying staining and finishing products for your wooden wine racks in Australia.

What Should You Know Before Staining And Finishing Your Wine Cellar Racks?

Your wine collection is not just a pursuit but an asset. Every part of your wine storage solution can increase your home’s value. Hence, it needs protection with accurate materials.

So, remember these crucial points when shopping for your wine rack stains.

1. Determine Whether You Truly Want A Finish On The Racks

Hardwoods like Oak and Mahogany typically have a beautiful natural finish that lasts a lifetime. These woods don’t always require an additional coat of stain to enhance their beauty. In fact, they change their colours over time to take an even richer appearance. 

Even softwoods like Cedar have in-built capabilities to fight against mould and pest infestation and retain their dark colour for a long time. Therefore, consult your wine cellar manufacturers before purchasing wood stain to know whether you actually need it.

2. Stained Wine Racks Should Not Remain In An Enclosed Environment

Most wood stains for wine cellar racks have a strange odour. When you use these stains on wood and store it in an airtight space for a long time, it can affect the flavours of your drink. The odour will seep into the bottle through the cork and alter the smell of the wine.

3. Do You Want A Water-Based Stain?

Manufacturers use synthetic resins, plasticizers and film-forming ingredients to create water-based stains for wine storage racks in Australia. Water-based finishes create a durable, moisture-resistant surface on wooden shelves that dry fast and leave little to no irritating fumes. However, the quick drying characteristic can make it challenging to apply. Also, water-based stains raise the wood grains. 

4. Or Do You Want An Oil-Based Stain?

Oil-based stains are easier to apply, and they are less temperamental. You shall apply two to three coats to evenly distribute the paint across your custom wine racks. However, the most common issue with oil paint is that it never completely dries down. While it makes the finish more durable on the wood, it also means the foul smell of the finish will have more opportunity to seep into your drinks.

5. Do You Need Professional Help To Apply The Wine Stain?

Applying stains on your wall-mounted wine racks is not the most challenging task. Hence, you can definitely spread it yourself. However, if you want a professional finish with as little fuss as possible, there are professionals to hire. Most wine cellar builders offer wine-racking services too. So, you can get all these services in a single package to save money and hassle. 

Summing Up

While wooden wine cellar racks are more durable and stable than metal wine racks, choosing the accurate material is essential here. With low-quality or unauthentic wooden wine racks, you will have to apply a stain. So, make your choice wisely and take professional help when needed.

Read More: Do Bottled, Opened, And Unopened Wines Go Bad?

[leandraderaven]

I’ve been robbed of my European Rights, please support

https://gofund.me/bef970d6 

I am robbed of my European Rights by territorial law. Please support me to raise my 24/7 Personal Assistance funding to be able to study and live my daily life like every other European Citizen!I want to be able to reside as every other European citizen, but for that, I need your help, and here’s why:I am Evelyne, a 34-year-old disabled female artist, and writer, I’ve been accepted for a Creative Masters’ program at the National University College Cork. It’s a massive privilege and a chance you get “Once in a lifetime”. Ireland and Writing were two things that were calling me since I was a child. I had this deep-rooted sense of belonging in me. A vocation that never stopped buzzing in my head – like white noise – a craving I was never able to satisfy. It was always accompanied by a sense of restriction, a sensation of not being valued. Since I’ve been connected to Ireland that has changed. I felt like myself, and I was inspired to write, and work for my goals. I was finally able to breathe, to show my true self to the world. My dream was reachable, my vocation was becoming real. I’ve written nine books so far, waiting to be picked up by a publisher. One of them I Self-published.I am a European citizen currently residing in Germany. I want to continue to write and build my career as a writer with the Postgraduate Masters Program that has been offered to me. I am a published author, and a Human Rights Activist so really there should be no problems in me moving to another EU State to take up education, & receiving reciprocal rights under mutually agreed EU law. No problems at all arise unless like me you are classed as disabled. In order to stay alive & live some semblance of an independent life daily, I must have 24/7 support, provided by a Personal Assistant.My world was crushed – from one moment to another. My care organization refused to finance my care assistant in Ireland when I am a permanent resident – The Reason: I am bound by the territorial law of Germany. I am a Person with a Disability who requires support, hence I am a social welfare case, and I am bound to the national welfare. This means that I – and therefore all people with disabilities – are apparently disabled from partaking in their rights as a European Citizen. This is clearly a severe Human Rights Issue. It was no question that this has to change and I had to fight for it.I wrote an appeal and highlighted the violation of multiple articles of the UNCRPD, Point 3 “Enjoying EU Rights”, and 3.1. “The right to reside and move freely” of the European Disability Strategy 2021-2030, and, of course, the Charter of the Fundamental Rights of the European Union: I informed, various Irish and German entities. (Politicians, Organisations; Activists.) I was stunned by the support I got from Ireland – but alas, nothing but radio silence from Germany. (There was one newspaper that had approached me because a personal assistant I knew had a friend who’s working there, but that’s it) whereas on the Irish side, everyone I’ve approached cared and tried to help. I kept fighting and pushing with those great helpers joining in, for myself and my community. I realized somebody has to change this. For the future for others that might follow.My appeal got refused again, but it came with a loophole, they offered to at least fund the time of my studies when I am withdrawing the Legal complaint I’ve filed. I told them I wouldn’t do that until I’ll have something written in my hands, that I am allowed to go and that the funding will be granted for the period of my Master’s program.Now, 3 weeks later, I still haven’t received anything final on paper and they’re finding another bureaucratic issue they can delay the process with.After years of corresponding funding organizations, I can tell, that this is a tactic. They want to drag it out until my studies begin, simply saying, they want me to give up. But that won’t happen. I deserve my education, WE DESERVE THE RIGHT OF EDUCATION, we deserve the chance to say yes to such once-in-lifetime opportunities, and to see how far our potential can lead us when we are offered an opportunity, cause we are European Citizens. This GoFundMe Page is an attempt to regain control. A fight against a failure in the system and systematic discrimination. I don’t want to lose my chance to become a writer and build a career as such, to also raise awareness about all these hidden issues through my forms of art. Furthermore, I will continue to fight throughout this fundraiser and afterward. My goal is not only to raise money for the care assistants for the period of my studies, I am determined to push this issue forward and find a solution for it. Writing and activism are essential for me and will be my constant companion whilst I am studying at the UCC.Please support and show solidarity, not just for my ability to study, but for a greater cause and a possibility of change!Let us make a statement against systematic discrimination.Together we are stronger!Let’s build and be a UNION OF EQUALITY! With love and dignity,Yours,Evelyne Picture @ CorkEchoLive, The piece where it's used was written by @Ellen O'Regan!Follow me to keep up to date: Twitter: https://twitter.com/CynkEvelyneIG : https://www.instagram.com/evelynecynk/Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/EvelyneMCynk Here are some links to get more insight into the legal framework: UN-CRPD: https://www.un.org/development/desa/disabilities/convention-on-the-rights-of-persons-with-disabilities.html All versions are available through this link! European Disability Strategy 2021-2030: https://www.un.org/development/desa/disabilities/wp-content/uploads/sites/15/2021/04/European-Strategy-2021-2030_EN.pdf EU CHARTER OF FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS: https://www.europarl.europa.eu/charter/pdf/text_en.pdf And for those who are interested: Here's the link to the novel I've self-published: UK/Ireland: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B084V9K5NKUSA : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084V9K5NKDE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B084V9K5NK PRESS:CorkEchoLive : https://www.echolive.ie/corknews/arid-40931765.htmlIrish Examiner : https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40851641.htmlWAZ : https://www.waz.de/wochenende/eine-frau-aus-bochum-kaempft-um-ihr-recht-auszuwandern-id235529345.htmlCork's 96fm Opinion Line : https://shows.acast.com/corks-96-fm-opinion-line/episodes/difference-between-german-and-irish-disability-experience Coming soon: A German translation of this fundraiser.My Homepage! With details and continuous updates, as well as other snippets of WIP'S of my mine, like parts of my unpublished trilogy Kaleidoscope which focuses on the life with a disability and it's struggles! Take care and stay tuned!

Support here!

[nohallowroadsau]

Little scared to know but... what happens to Quirrel in this AU?

Okay, so this is kind of an old ask I was afraid to answer, partly because I hadn’t really thought of it until now and wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer it, but I think I do have an answer:

In an older version of the AU, I might have brushed him off as simply being dead. Tying up loose ends and all that, plus it’s probably closer to canon than current fan theories about his survival, but now I’m thinking otherwise.

At present, I’m thinking that, since the major fanon surrounding him is that he’s a pill bug, he’s got gills and probably knows how to swim. He’s an old bug, but I don’t imagine he’d be dropping dead any time soon after all the stunts he pulled during the Uumuu boss fight.

In this AU, he descended into the depths of the Blue Lake out of curiosity, remembering his heritage and how he’d always wanted to see what the bottom of the seemingly endless lake looked like. He trusted his little friend to be able to handle themselves (plus, vessels float like corks in the water), hence why he descended alone. He left his nail because it wouldn’t really do him any good underwater.

When he resurfaced, he had been hoping to tell Ghost all about his exploits and what he had found, but they were nowhere to be seen. The most evidence he had ever found was a strange coffin in the waterways. The discovery saddened him, believing that they had died sealing away the Light (I mean, they kinda did; he couldn’t have known they’d be reborn in another world), and he gave them a warrior’s memorial, and set about helping the survivors of Hallownest rebuild.

[wannaholdhandswithfictionalmen]

(My) Sanctuary;

A/n: First Ever Fic for Genshin Impact Fandom. A fic no one asked for but the idea was living in my head rent free, so what's a girl to do except play more Genshin Impact and work on this fic. (Listened to Sanctuary & Don't think twice by Hikaru Utada while writing this -- hence my inspired and very unoriginal title for this fic because I am horrible at thinking of titles.) 

Genre: Mostly Fluff really, a pinch or two of Angst.

Warning: Implied underage drinking. Brief description of Violence. Of age drinking. 

Summary: Childhood friends with history. Unspoken feelings. Mutual pining. Circumstances and life have forced you and Diluc on different paths, but you always return to Mondstadt and Diluc always makes time for you.

Word count: 3,128

The busy streets of Mondstadt. How long had it been this time? The absence of your presence from these cobblestone paths; four, five? No. Six months. Commissions to fight greater, fierce foes across Teyvat demanded your blades and lightning. Not that it mattered much how far or long you ventured from your former home. There was only one person who meant a great deal, important even if you could not sort through all the emotions attached to him in your own heart or even dare to give voice to those emotions.

Diluc Ragnvindr. 

And despite the inner twisted, festering turmoil (of your own making) cradled in your heart for Mondstadt, Favonius Knights, The Fatui 'diplomats'. Diluc was always a reason to return. 

In fact you aren't at all surprised when you stop by Good Hunter, offering up a handful of Mora for a meal. Sitting down at a table, closing your eyes. You took in a deep breath, the air here felt different to you. Thanks to the Anemo god, Barbatos. You swear it truly is the sense, embodiment of freedom that fills your lungs and soothes you even if for a few seconds. 

A savory blend of mushrooms, chicken and noodles is your lunch for the day. After thirty minutes have passed since your arrival in Mondstadt. And Diluc is sliding into the chair across from your own, elbows on the table, arms folded. Crimson eyes silently taking in the features of you. 

"Hm. You're slacking. That's ten minutes later than before, what took your little informants so long to whisper in your ear word of me being back?" You don't even spare a look at him, taking another bite, chewing a mouthful as you wait for his reply. 

"I do have a winery to run and the protection of Mondstadt to ensure, I can't not always come rushing away for personal affairs." Diluc holds a evident edge of underlying frustration in his smooth voice. 

Your own gaze trails up and over him, taking in the exasperation and exhaustion that furrows the brow of his otherwise stoic expression-- you want to ask when he last got a full night's rest? If he was still doing his lone warrior, Darknight Hero routine? If he was as stubborn as ever shouldering the burden of his fervor desire to defend and protect. Oh, how you worry, worry and worry the weight of it all on your tongue, tightening your throat-- who takes care of you? Who stands by your side? Who defends you? Who protects you? Who lov-

Once upon a time it had been you but a vortex of mourning, sorrow, rage swallowed up your old life. Until you wanted nothing more than to never see the walls of Mondstadt ever again. One day leaving it all behind. Time was a cruel mistress, one day swiftly grew to years. The first time you returned from what would become regular disappearances--adventures. 

Damage had been done. Diluc was the one who reached out to savage your friendship and you had welcomed the chance to have him back in your life even if it would never be anything more. 

"Should I be honored that the gentleman Ragnvindr can even grace me with his company?" It's a hollow jest as you pick at your half eaten plate of food. 

"No," His dismissal of the notion is soft yet firm. "Just Diluc, a friend, who is glad to see you well again." It's never his straight-forward or blunt nature that catches you off guard, it's when the subtle but clear sincerity creeps to the surface. Open, unwavering in his honesty.  

You huff, looking down feigning disinterest yet the twitch of your lips is undeniable. Warmth, simple, gentle curls in your chest. Happiness. Flickering embers outside of the stone walls of your heart that would make Rex Lapis proud. Diluc had always been able to slip past your defenses, so easily lingering in your thoughts, in your heart. Whether he was aware of it or not. 

"I suppose I am glad to see you too. Saved me a few bottles of my favorite wine?" You ask glancing up to catch his watchful gaze, biting your bottom lip as a wide smile threatened to spread on your face. Dulic's sudden raised eyebrow says it all-- do you really need to ask? 

"Four pristine bottles of aged mixed sunsettia, valberry wine." Prideful is subtle and delicate in his voice as if Diluc would ever forget your favorite wine. Funny enough to think about how even as the unspoken king of the winery industry, he doesn't enjoy alcohol himself. Still keeping a stock of your favorite in his manor. 

"You never let me pay you and we can't really share a few glasses together, so," you hum, slowly wired up with nervous yet excited anticipation as you reach down into the bag hanging off your shoulder. Shifting through the items and materials you carried with you for cooking and crafting you find it! Grabbing a slender jug of a bottle, wrapped in cloth. Swiftly placed on the table in front of Diluc. "I brought something for you." 

It's not like grape juice is such a hard find or something Diluc could not afford himself with his abundance of wealth but you had commissioned a famous brewer to make a special blend of grapes and other berries to create a rich and sweet juice. With your own Mora to spare after a few jobs, and you had a feeling your wandering would lead back to Mondstadt. 

Diluc is steady, slow with peeling back the cloth to stare at the deep, dark purple liquid filling the glass bottle. Uncorking the bottle, Diluc takes a whiff, closing his eyes, the smile that graces his face. It's everything and so much more. "It smells delicious. Thank you, I can't wait to taste it." 

"Then we should begin our walk to the manor? I can hear my wine calling me." You leave a few Mora coins as a tip, standing up, Diluc presses the cork back into the bottle and hands it back to you for safe keeping. 

"Alright," Diluc nods, following, matching your stride with ease. "Adelinde was asking about you the other day, you know she always makes sure your room is tidy, spotless in fact." 

Stupid. How one little phrase has your stomach full of crystal flies like you are a teenager all over again. And the mention of the kind maid who still fusses over Diluc and you on occasion makes you happy. It is a nice reprieve from nights of solitude, you are content to travel alone but loneliness is a creature that waits, and waits until the right moment to sink its claws and fangs into you on the road. 

The walk from Mondstadt isn't far but you aren't expecting a fully pleasant and peaceful walk with Diluc. Outside of the gates of the city and a few minutes down the dirt road, the sight of Hilichurls is predictable. 

Small pack of fighters, five Hilichurls carrying clubs and one hulking Mitachurl with a shield. This should be fun. 

"Make sure to show me how playing the part of the nighttime hero has kept your skills sharp!" You yell with a laugh, grinning as you summon your sword, forged of dragon bone, jagged, fierce blade. Rushing forward you dodge past the throw Pyro slimes. 

You let yourself run a little wild, your Electro vision surge through you, bolts of lightning crash down on the charging Hilichurls. Shocking and stunning the monsters for a moment, that's all you need to unleash a flurry of fast slashes.

A loud, enraged howl, crashing stomps approach from your back. Anyone else would need to worry or doubt--you don't. The familiar roar and rumble of flames fills the air, the scorning heat of it nipping behind you. Diluc doesn't even let that Mitcahurl so much as graze you, his grunts and shouts clash with its growl and howls as his flame imbued blade breaks and burns through the beast's wooden shield. Leaving ashes flying in the air and the heavy smell of smoke and fire. 

You electrify the Hilichurls, slowing, paralyzing the small beasts until they are left vulnerable and weak against you. The perfect targets. You cleave one's head off, stab straight through the mask of another, impale the chest of another. Delivering killing blows with precision and force. Wiping them out, you turn in time to see the beauty of Diluc. 

Rapid, graceful, relentless, ferocity embraced in unyielding flames. The towering giant Hilichurl is left staggering, stumbling under the strikes of Diluc's claymore left all too unprotected without its shield to hide behind. Diluc turns up the heat quite literally, the soaring, blazing phoenix that emerged from his own vision and will, his flames destroy the Mitcahurl, wiping out its pitiful existence effortlessly. 

Diluc shakes a bit of lingering flames and smoke off the steel of his blade with a sweeping slash at the air, standing among darkened, black grass, a gust of wind sways his hair and he looks over his shoulder. It is surely a moment deserving of immortalizing in portrait, his bright red hair blowing in the wind, holding his greatsword in one hand, sunlight giving him an ethereal glow, gazing at you. 

Giving a slow applause, you whistle and laugh. "Flashy as ever, Diluc." 

"The pyro element leaves little room for anything else. Still it's efficient and powerful," Diluc turns to face you, letting go of the hilt of his sword as it vanishes, unneeded outside of battle. "However, it's not something you could critique me on, when anyone for miles could see your lightning." 

"Fair enough." 

Besides a few stray slimes, the rest of your walk is undisturbed, reaching the winery as nightfall, the sun dipping below the horizon. 

"(Name) it is good to see you well." Adelinde smiles upon seeing you as Diluc opens the front door and holds it open for you to walk in first. She hugs you, it's hard not to melt into her tight cradle. 

"Have you been eating well? Sleeping accordingly? Not just naps. Taking breaks in between all your monster hunting?" Her lovingly stern questions always feel comforting in a way that is odd to describe and felt deeply. 

"I am still standing, Adelinde, fully rested and my stomach is full at the moment." 

"You would do well to keep it as such." Adelinde levels you with a motherly look of if you do not take care of yourself, I will which should be hard to make look threatening but the older woman handles it with years of expertise. She has worried over guests, Diluc, Kaeya, you for many, many years in the pact and many to come you are certain. 

"Adelinde, please have the bottles of sunsettia, valberry wine brought up, we-" 

"One step ahead of you, Master Diluc. Hillie and Moco brought them up a short while ago, I hope you two enjoy your time together." Adelinde leaves the manor, you aren't sure what work needs to be done on the grounds, you know for a fact Adeline specifically tries to do outside chores during daylight hours. It's an obvious tell for someone who knows her, she is ensuring you and Diluc remain alone for now. An avid supporter of your friendship you suppose. 

Diluc barely gets to call out a 'thank you!' as she is shutting the door. 

You stroll across the room, not much has changed at all. Your destination is the furniture set by the fireplace, the small, round table paired with two cushioned chairs. Pulling out the bottle of juice to place on the table top next to the bottles of wine, to cups awaiting you both. 

Pouring your first cup, you are eager, excited to taste the almost sickeningly sweet flavor of the wine. It never seems to taste the same from any other winery or brewery or even in the company of others. 

Moments of comfortable quiet drift by as you slowly, steadily sip and savory the wine. 

When Diluc takes the first taste of your gift and his low moan of approval as he swallows. Oh. You could listen to that again and again. All husky, raspy delight that sends shivers down your spine. It feels good to bring any kind of bliss to Diluc, even the simplest kind by providing him a drink he loves. 

You get the mutual feeling of being watched as you drink, sighing and smiling at the taste, the feeling of nostalgia creeps up on you. 

"I remember the first time I tasted this wine. We were barely teenagers sneaking down into the cellar. I badly wanted to try the wine everyone in Mondstadt wouldn't shut up about," you recall it interrupting yourself with short, full breaths of levity. Far too amused by the memory to contain your laughter. "I- I asked. No- begged you to come down with me while your father was gone, saying I'd bring Kaeya instead if you didn't come, bluffing and you got as red as a flaming flower, grabbed my hand and pulled me all the way to the cellar and downstairs." 

Diluc huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back into the cushions of the sofa. "You knew how to push my buttons too well, half of the stuff I let you talk me into was completely foolish." Staring into the lit fire as he listened to you. 

"Just half?"

"Fine. All of the escapades I let you drag me along on were absurd." 

"Your welcome as I recall you had a lot of fun." 

"At the risk of a lot of trouble, you tested the lengths of even my father's generous patience." Diluc shook his head, the fondness in expression was plain as day. 

"Oh, remember the night after getting my gliding license, I dared you to join me on top of the cathedral to see which of us could get farther across the city, and you landed in a bush!" Several glasses of wine, one empty bottle of the tart and sweet berry alcohol and you felt even more relaxed, comfortable in the company of Diluc. 

"I, at the very least, remained dry. You were the one who crash-landed right into the fountain." Diluc smirked, sharp, sly as he chuckled, lightly tugging and adjusting the fabric of his gloves. Idle gestures as his cup stays on the table after a few sips. 

"I would rate my dive undoubtedly ten out of ten." By the Archons, it had been a miracle you both escaped from the knights of Favonius night patrol with the commotion you made, wet leather boots on stone top made you slip a few times in your dash to escape discovery. Diluc had kept a firm grip on your arm, tugging you back up and refusing to leave you behind. 

Then you remember, hiding away, pressed chest to chest, the chill of your soaked clothes clinging to you, the rise and fall of heavy, labored breaths. How close Diluc had been, that smokey, fiery scent that having pyro vision gifted him along with faint aroma of fruit thanks to the orchard of the dawn winery, he worked with his father on occasion. If you had just tilted your head up, leaned in--

"I know Kaeya was always jealous. I could talk you into anything but you refused his antics left and right." 

"It's different. I actually like you and spending time with you." Diluc's deadpan response pulls a ugly snort-laugh from you. His relationship with Kaeya is an odd one but you know deep down he cares for his brother even if things aren't exactly civil between them. 

"I feel so special." 

"As you should, I don't like people." His sarcasm, that is half-joke, half-truth keeps you laughing. 

The first wave of tiredness hits you, letting out an involuntary yawn. Your travels, the trek and fight from earlier catch up with you. Combined with the consumption of alcohol. 

"I think the wine is getting to me, I feel a little sleepy." You finish off your glass with one gulp, smooth like silk down your throat, the lack of burn makes it far too easy to want to empty all the bottles. Four. You'd certainly regret that in the morning. 

"I noticed." Diluc gets up first, three steps towards you, he is holding out his hand to you. 

"I can walk myself, I am not that drunk." You protest his offer while reaching out and taking his hand, entwining your fingers without a second thought. Diluc gives your hand a squeeze, his slender fingers lightly caressing the back of your hand. He guides you upstairs to your room as if you don't know the way by heart as if your room would ever change. 

"You would never ask for help yourself and you did break a vase the last time, even the smallest bit of intoxication seems to make you clumsier." Diluc gives his clear and absolutely unfair opinion. It happened one time!

It is really not necessary either to open the door for you, letting go of your hand only to press the large, warm palm of his hand against your back. Nor does Diluc need to kneel before you as you sit on the edge of the bed, unfastening your boots, removing your satchel and placing your belongings on the bedside table. 

"It is hilarious to hear you of all people, calling me out of not asking for help. Mister Darknight." 

Dliuc 'tsks' at the mention of his beloved hero name. "I am aware, that can be a little hypocritical." 

"A little?" 

"(Name)," Diluc speaks your name so tenderly, softly, as if the word itself is precious. "I simply want to help you, to car-" He clears his throat cutting off that train of thought. Pausing for seconds of silence pass, crimson eyes staring into your own. "If there was anyone I would accept help from it would be you." 

That is dangerously close to an admission of something else. And all every moment of the past, all the maybe(s), what-ifs, almost(s) flash through your mind. You could take the leap or let this become another memory to turn over and over in your head, wondering, wanting, yearning. 

"Get some rest." Diluc walks over to the door, standing in the open threshold of the room, hand gripping the door knob. 

"Diluc, wait" It's barely a whisper, so hushed and subdued. So low, he doesn't hear it and when Diluc looks over his shoulder, the short-lived courage in you has diminished and you can't bring yourself to voice all the longing, desire, love trapped in your heart. 

"Goodnight, Diluc."

"Goodnight, (Name)." 

[tabletoptrinketsbyjj]

Trinkets, 38: Interesting baubles, semi magical objects and items touched by mystery.

A worn mercenary banner consisting of one rusty old spearhead atop a long wooden shaft. Five feet down from the head there rests a cross-piece four feet long tied to the shaft. From that hangs flag itself; A field of scarlet with nine hanged men in black and six yellow daggers in the upper left and lower right quadrants, respectively, while the upper right quadrant features a shattered skull and the lower left boasts a bird of prey astride a severed head. Knowledgeable PC’s will recognize it as the Standard of the Black Company a free mercenary company who can trace their history back hundreds of years through their well-documented archives.

A corrupted magic charm made of the skull a human who died in terror and with regrets. The bone is wrapped with dried kelp and algae, and the skull’s forehead and dome is inscribed with strange sigils made from flower pigments. The entire bonecharm hums with power, creating a faint but distinctive ‘song’ that the spiritually perceptive can hear.

A scroll covered with depictions of constellations.

A shattered mask, once belonging to an ecclesiastic of the occult. Though broken this mask still retains a trace of its original purpose. It hums with faint whispers when worn. They demand an offering.

A one gallon cask of Brewer's Pudding, an alcoholic “drink” so thick that the bartender needs to cut it like a loaf of bread to serve it. Bartenders typically put it in a bowl with lager poured over top, which slowly changes the "drink's" consistency similar to that of pudding. More squalid taverns sometimes serve it between slices of bread as a sandwich.

A gnarled pipe smells strongly of cinnamon and fish, disturbing your digestion. Its bowl has constellations etched around it.

A small, ragged figure crafted from human bone and hair, posed as though shading its eyes to see a long distance.

A charm bracelet of silver chain with five shield-shaped charms. The shields have various religious icons for luck. It's covered in dried blood on it, suggesting the previous owner wasn't that lucky.

A shifting monochromatic geometric, glass prism.

An ironwood skeleton key inlaid with spiraling lines of silvery mithril, and etched with flowing Sylvan script that reads “May this world know some measure of my skill as I depart to the next.”

—Keep reading for 90 more trinkets.

—Note: The previous 10 items are repeated for easier rolling on a d100.

A worn mercenary banner consisting of one rusty old spearhead atop a long wooden shaft. Five feet down from the head there rests a cross-piece four feet long tied to the shaft. From that hangs flag itself; A field of scarlet with nine hanged men in black and six yellow daggers in the upper left and lower right quadrants, respectively, while the upper right quadrant features a shattered skull and the lower left boasts a bird of prey astride a severed head. Knowledgeable PC’s will recognize it as the Standard of the Black Company a free mercenary company who can trace their history back hundreds of years through their well-documented archives.

A corrupted magic charm made of the skull a human who died in terror and with regrets. The bone is wrapped with dried kelp and algae, and the skull’s forehead and dome is inscribed with strange sigils made from flower pigments. The entire bonecharm hums with power, creating a faint but distinctive ‘song’ that the spiritually perceptive can hear.

A scroll covered with depictions of constellations.

A shattered mask, once belonging to an ecclesiastic of the occult. Though broken this mask still retains a trace of its original purpose. It hums with faint whispers when worn. They demand an offering.

A one gallon cask of Brewer's Pudding, an alcoholic “drink” so thick that the bartender needs to cut it like a loaf of bread to serve it. Bartenders typically put it in a bowl with lager poured over top, which slowly changes the "drink's" consistency similar to that of pudding. More squalid taverns sometimes serve it between slices of bread as a sandwich.

A gnarled pipe smells strongly of cinnamon and fish, disturbing your digestion. Its bowl has constellations etched around it.

A small, ragged figure crafted from human bone and hair, posed as though shading its eyes to see a long distance.

A charm bracelet of silver chain with five shield-shaped charms. The shields have various religious icons for luck. It's covered in dried blood on it, suggesting the previous owner wasn't that lucky.

A shifting monochromatic geometric, glass prism.

An ironwood skeleton key inlaid with spiraling lines of silvery mithril, and etched with flowing Sylvan script that reads “May this world know some measure of my skill as I depart to the next.”

A smoking pipe made with a stem of gnarled wood and a deep bowl made of yellowed bone. The bowl has mystical lettering and runes carved into it.

A porcelain teapot inscribed with ancient symbols. A blue snake-like dragon coils around the pot, its body forming the handle and its mouth forming the spout.

A psaltery made from the darkest ebony wood. Its back is slightly curved with an indentation in the base so that it sits nicely on the player's lap. Inlayed in its face is a twisted branch covered in beautiful cherry blossoms. As the instrument is played the blossoms seem to fall away to reveal that the branch is not a branch at all but the bony hand of a skeleton.

An ornate lacquered box containing a set of spoons, thirteen in number. Each is topped with a tiny figure that represents one of the Immortal Heroes of an eastern cult that is thought to be extinct. In that cult, the spoons are considered a valuable prize that proves the courage and skill of its members. The set would be decently valuable to a collector or otherwise interested buyer.

An alabaster vase that has bas-relief figures of goddesses in skimpy clothing in provocative poses. Knowledgeable PC’s can identify the goddesses are in fact the handmaidens of the Martyr Prophet and even to depict them clothed is a right arrogated to the Prophet’s priesthood. The vase itself would be counted a blasphemy by the Prophet’s followers.

An oil lamp no larger than two cupped hands that’s both delicate and fearful. Unlike more common lamps of brass or even common earthenware, the lamp is forged of hair-thin and glittering black iron, cool to the touch. It bears a single looped handle, and is covered in finely rendered etchings of arabesques and stylized wings.  

A number of sealed oval tins containing fillets of true monkfish in brine. The fish’s bland pale flesh travels very well and is an imperishable as a saint’s, hence its name. The fillets are filling an nourishing and there are enough tins to equate to 2d4+1 days’ worth of trail rations.

A large, cracked, spiral horn of some great beast, bound in silver and caked in blood. When blown, hot winds and swirling sands erupt from the mouth. All who hear the horn’s call are urged to fight with the unrelenting fury of desert storm.

A cerulean-blue semi-solid stone that is nearly translucent, and shines with an internal blue light.

An onyx hair pin topped with a golden sphere accented by ivory flowers. It's covered in dust and the sphere is a bit oxidized, but with some proper cleaning it might be a suitable gift for the daughter of a noble.

A black-green beeswax candle decorated with carvings of birds. The wick seems to be made out of gold threads. It faintly smells of ash and seawater.

A constantly-shifting jigsaw puzzle made of of muscle and viscera.

A dull green glass bottle, filled with transparent oil that rolls about like the sea's tides. Its label, written in Undercommon, reads "Immortality." It is sealed with a deep black cork, and if opened reeks of skunk spray.

A small stone that ticks evenly like a finely wound clock. Everyone who hears the stone becomes convinced that the stone must remain locked away or something very bad will happen.

A commemorative porcelain plate of the last royal wedding.

A jigsaw puzzle consisting of occult symbols that when fully completed opens a portal to that which the user desires most in the world. There are three pieces missing.

A black robe covered in tattered and worn crow feathers, almost giving the illusion of wings when the arms are raised.

A flexible skin tight, black-silk mask that covers the bearer’s face with just a slit exposing the eyes and perforations at the nose and mouth.

A wide iron-studded dog collar.

A sealed one gallon cask filled with a smoky, spicy spirit akin to weaker tequila. This aperitif is made from a flowering cactus found deep in the deserts heart. When drunk, it causes memories to flow more freely to the drinker's minds forefront, often sparking intense feelings of nostalgia or regret. If overindulged, it could even dislodged repressed memories, forgotten dreams, and other things forgotten (deliberately or otherwise).

A gilded wineglass fashioned from a human skull and set with lapis lazuli.

A set of seven humanoid shaped obsidian pendants.

A dark green egg-shaped stone has been worn away on one side to reveal a rough, vivid purple interior. Knowledgeable PC's can identify the mineral as a geode.

A metal mask resembling a deformed man with a protruding tongue, often worn by wrong-doers before they are paraded through the streets as punishment.

The "alchemical" recipe and blueprint for a "Big Mama", a strange series of nested barrels filled with gunpowder and nails and designed to detonate from a fuse.

A bloodstained scrap of parchment with a list of several names, including a couple of the PC’s. All but one of the non-PC names are crossed out.

A small silver bracelet fashioned in the style of a serpent with two small cyan-colored stones for eyes.

A beautiful, multicolored glass sculpture that seems to take different shapes depending on the angle it is viewed from. From one angle, a mother and child, from another a proud warrior, all in vibrant color and exquisite detail. There are eight distinct scenes visible, one from each cardinal direction.

A delicate tea set made of beautifully shaped glass. Each cup has been blown to look like a pair of child-sized hands clasped together, and the tea pot itself has the appearance of a cloaked human female kneeling in offering. Her hands reaching outwards act as the spout for the pot, and her pulled back hood acts as the lid. No liquid ever flows out of the teapot unless one of the cups in the set is directly beneath the spout.

A medium sized hourglass fashioned from dark walnut and brass. Inside, the sands shine in a variety of iridescent colors. There is a slight tinkling sound as they fall, almost like the sound of a music box, carried on the wind.

An exquisite scrimshaw design of dueling dragons made from a harpy claw.

A scepter made with scorched wood, that has an orb of solid, coagulated blood on it's edge.

A floating spherical chess board that when opened, reveals intricately crafted pieces inside it. The pieces magically adhere to the sphere as it floats, and allows you to play without the chessmen falling off.

A small, golden chime, tied with a red ribbon around the handle, that rings softly of its own accord with a bittersweet melody. It makes those who hear it think of sunlight on a coastline that they've never seen, holding the hand of someone they’ve never known.

A battered tin kettle, slightly warm to the touch. Any liquid placed into the kettle will become something almost, but not quite, exactly nothing like tea.

A pair of goggles that allow the bearer to see from the point of view of a random reef fish in some far off sea.

A black and purple scale of some enormous horror of the far realm.

A thick piece of leather on which was branded a prayer of contrition. It says that it is not enough to ask for absolution, penitence must be forced upon the impure. Some sins can only be forgiven with consecrated flame.

A stoppered, green glass bottle wrapped in grimy stained leather and cord. It is filled with an inferior moonshine containing alcohol distilled in the worst possible conditions. The liquor tastes worse than it looks, but provides a small degree of resistance to the horrors of daily life

A rather intricately filigreed belt buckle featuring a stylistic rendering of a heroic figure standing in defiance of a formless darkness looming above it.

A wine bottle sealed with wax containing a rolled vellum scroll.

A burlap pouch containing a handful of wooden tokens marked with a skull and crossbones on one side and "One Grog" on the other.

A jade carving of a flying fish, inexpertly done and with poor detailing.

An invitation to a charity ball rewarded for substantial devotion and contribution to community and individual well being.

A royal decree ordering all land-holding families to send one armed soldier to an official army muster. Any family that fails to respond is in danger of having their ancestral land titles revoked.

A leather plague doctor's mask with silver frames and buckles.

A copper-plated tin badge of a winged heart.

A wooden flute made of red wood with etchings of leaves around part of its base

An oddly shaped curved wand with elven writing carved within. When held at nighttime it helps its owner sleep peacefully to the sounds of nature.

A large wooden chest with many unique pelts, wrapped one inside the other. In the center a small jade figurine of a humanoid with a fish-like face. It is extremely cold to the touch.

A fancy gold coin with two crowns on both faces. It is literally embedded in a small cube of clearest crystal.

A bright red square tablet of unknown material about three inches to a side with a metal plate that slides to open a tiny window through the tablet that reveals a sheet of black material within. It is lighter than stone, metal, or wood and bears no markings other than a rectangle of gummy residue on one side and a small circular metal coin on the reverse.

A rose quartz paperweight shaped like a crushing fist.

A toy horse carved from bone.

A letter with the following written inside "We only need 300 more gold until we can bring her back and live peacefully once again as a family."

An ivory spoon with teardrop handle.

A miniature portrait of a young chestnut-haired beauty set in a silver frame. She appears to be set against the skyline of a metropolitan city on a sea, as though the portrait was painted from a tall building or hillside.

A tin box decorated with an embossing of a ship in a bottle, containing precision woodworking and knot tying tools with telescoping handles.

A fist sized ball of melted copper coins.

A bronze statuette of a chariot, with horses and charioteer.

A child’s painting framed beautifully. The art itself is fairly lacking but the frame is worth a decent amount, even more to someone who appreciates the juxtaposition of incredibly classy and messy.

A silken caul hair net decorated with small semiprecious stones.

An ebon walking stick with a monogrammed silver handle.

A bone pipe carved with intricate crimson sigils; its smoke appears as writhing shades of the damned.

A scrap of dirty parchment bearing a list of names, some of them crossed off. Investigation reveals all of the names on the list are dead people, mostly buried in the Gilded Graveyard. Those who have been crossed off have recently have their graves’ plundered, their bodies stolen. Further investigation still reveals that these were all jurors in the trial of Isabella Rasping, a necromancer convicted of using a zombies as murder weapons during the infamous “Meatpuppet Murders” two centuries ago. She was executed for the crime by her own creations. Isabella has returned as a revenant with unfinished business; she maintains her innocence and believes she can now prove it, and so is gathering the previous jurors for a kind of “retrial."

A ceramic dining plate edged with copper.

A bandolier from which hang a half dozen small securely stoppered flasks. Each is filled with a noxious substance, preserved at the height of its foulness: Human diarrhea, spoiled milk, vomit, cat urine, skunk stink glands and rotting fish. The flasks are flimsy and designed to break apart when they hit something solid and each stopper has a small eye-hook screwed into the cork. They can be thrown, shot from a sling or flask launcher (A modified light crossbow) or a length of twine has be tied to the eye-hook, creating a tripwire trap.

A brass bust of a famed scholar and medic.

An anklet of braided gold and silver worked with small carnelians.

A set of bagpipes made from the skin of a displacer beast, with the drones and chanter carved from its bones.

An antiquated torture device designed for mutilating hands and fingers.

A leather eyepatch with a turquoise stone surrounded by white agate resembling a crude eye.

A stuffed cockatrice clutching a sculpted marble hand in one talon.

An egg, roughly the size of a goose egg but navy blue with mottled flecks of gold leaf, mounted on a round wooden base with a tiny placard that reads "Imaskari Sun Hawk". When touched, the golden flecks on the egg gently glow that grows brighter and softer in time with the heartbeat of the one touching it and there is the sensation of rustling movement from within.

A fragment of a painting torn from a larger canvas depicting an unfamiliar princess.

A family portrait of an infamous noble house whose eyes seem to follow onlookers.

A pale gourd with ornate glyphs painted in black around the cork at its apex and twine braided about it. Try as one might, nobody has ever been able to open the stopper. A thin metallic clinking can be heard when the gourd is shaken.

A delicate pink flower, carefully preserved with magic and will not wilt or break yet preserves its natural beauty.

An old withered hand, no more than skin drawn taut across bones, and tarnished rings hanging loosely from the fingers. The bearer can rattle the rings on the hand which causes the smell of lilies to fills the air around him.

A small metal top seems like an everyday child’s toy except for the skull engraved into a button in the middle.

A sturdy wooden travel case containing a popular board game known as Roundels. It has similar elements to chess but is played on a circular board with a stylized keep. The game is abstract and is supposed to loosely simulate a siege. There is an attacking player and a defending player and each side has some unique pieces in addition to their common pieces. The etiquette of playing Roundels requires players to participate in two games, one as the attacker and the other as defender.

A horse femur that is as light as a feather.

An old yellowed skull that in spite of its lack of eyeballs, seems to be constantly eyeing the bearer.

A length of ivory shaped like a bone, covered in small onyx spiders that look all too real. The arcane rod can be used as an magical focus and is a grisly sight to behold.

A burlap bag large enough to hold a coconut. It is smooth to the touch and found in the color purple with a golden strap.

An arcane wand that is rough to hold and twists like a wild vine.

A translucent green stone the size of a fat grape. The item is sea glass, a fragment of a bottle that washed around the world and back, until it had no sharp edges.

A satyr statuette which increases the libido of everyone within line of sight of it.

A bewitched letter which appears to be addressed to whoever is currently holding it, describing their features and personality in adoring terms.

A small crystal which, when peered through, appears to show alternate universes. Actually a fragment of a much larger crystal, part of a complex device deep in the Old City.

[averagesmw]

Penny Haywood x MC- A risk far too great

Game: Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery  

_____________________________

My stay at Hogwarts so far has been... interesting, to say the least

Unwillingly, I became responsible for breaking the horrible curses that came as a result of the Cursed Vaults. All in pursue of my missing brother, Jacob.

Not that I didn't want to save everyone or find my brother, but I didn't know it would be this difficult

However, when we entered the third vault and broke the sleepwalking curse, I thought I was getting the hang of it

...And then came the fourth curse

Not only was it difficult to understand, but this one got quite personal

See, this curse kidnapped students and trapped them inside the various portraits that decorate the school's walls. One of the victims happened to be the first-year Hufflepuff, Beatrice Haywood.

As in, Penny's adorable little sister

That is no way to be introduced to Hogwarts, I should know

But what weighed on me the most was Penny's reaction to this, she was devastated and obviously not the little ray of sunshine I knew and loved

Our adventures together were by far my favorite thing about all these years. We've grown to know each other so well, she even picked me to go with her to a dance

She provided all the happiness that I needed, but now, she was the one that needed happiness

Regardless, it served as a strong motivator to break the curse as soon as possible, which led me to this very moment...

Joined by Merula, Bill, and the new faculty member, Professor Rakepick, I was discussing the next step in our plan to enter the fourth vault. We were in the Courtyard as to not raise any suspicions

However, our plans would soon collide with my personal goals, and not for the better

...

"Now, who shall we take into the Cursed Vault with us?"

Rakepick asked us, making my mind start racing with possibilities

"Well, there are pros and cons to anyone we pick..."

We looked around at the people present in the courtyard. From Badeea to Tonks and even Barnaby, we discussed who could bring more to this table

Eventually, the sight of beautiful, blonde hair caught my attention. There she was, Penny Haywood herself trying her best to go on with her day

Always so resourceful and determined to help others, even now that she was the one that needed the help. Oh, Penny...

It was true that she could help but I...I just couldn't sentence to go into such a place, what if we lose? Or worse...

No, there was no chance I would risk bringing her along this time. I had to find someone else that could assist us

In my mind, I was already narrowing down the best candidates, although I didn't want to put any of them in danger, especially--

"What about Haywood? We could use her potion knowledge"

Merula's voice broke my concentration, I immediately turned to her upon hearing that

"Merula is right, Penny could help us brew a potion if we need it at the vault if we need it"

Bill added. The sole mention of her name in this conversation was enough to send shivers down my spine

I could even feel my breathing getting a bit erratic at this. But before anything else could happen, I threw a quick counter-offer

"B-But what about Charlie? He knows about dragons far more than any of us. W-We could use his knowledge more!"

Merula looked at me strangely. I subtly shook my head to her, telling her to back off on that idea with my eyes filled with worry

She seemed to pick up on this and gave me a subtle nod, putting her hand on her chin

For the last months, Merula and I had grown closer together as well. She might not admit it until earlier today, but we were good friends

In fact, she was likely the only person (besides Rowan) that knew about my umm... My opinion on Penny, hence why she understood my signals so quickly

"Now that you mention, he could help us defeat the dragon first. After he squeals at the sight of it"

For a split second, I felt relieved to have her on my side...then Rakepick talked

"While that is true, I agree that Miss Haywood could help us the most in this case"

She was quick to shoot down the idea, but why? Why send Penny into something so dangerous without even giving her time to prepare!

There was NO way I'd send Penny off like that, not her, especially after everything we've been through

"I don't think that's a good idea, professor. Penny has been quite unstable since the beginning of the year, she won't concentrate"

I responded with the first thing that came to my mind, just desperately trying to change their mind

"Or she could be perfectly motivated to give her best to save her sister"

"Hasn't Penny helped you with the other vaults before, Y/N? She has more experience in dealing with them"

Bill was not helping. Of course Penny tagged along a few times, but mostly when we knew that it wasn't incredibly dangerous like now

It's a dragon we're talking about! Not a Boggart or an Ice Knight

"Bill, we're not bringing her with us"

My friend noticed the sudden change in my tone and looked at me with a confused look

"Why not? Is something wrong with that?"

What!? Of course there was, Bill! You'd have to be blind not to notice!

My worry found a shield in the form of anger, but it was quickly released as I yelled out of pure emotion

"WE'RE NOT SENDING PENNY OUT THERE, THAT'S IT!!"

All three of my allies were taken back by this, even Rakepick. Taking a quick look at the rest of the students that were also there I noticed that they had all shut up and were now staring at me...even her

I couldn't deal with all of those eyes, not at the same time. What was I even supposed to say after such a display?

"I...I have to go. I'll be back for tonight, I promise"

Following what both my heart and mind were screaming me to do, I ran away back to the castle without looking at anyone

The place was awfully silent for a couple of seconds, but the chatter resumed shortly after, only a bit less intense this time

"Was it something I said? I've never seen Y/N have an outburst like that..."

Bill felt guilty, but he didn't even know why. Of course, it was always awful when you made someone react like that without knowing the reason

"Miss Snyde, you said before this conversation that Y/N is your friend, right?"

The teacher caught the attention of Merula, who was still looking at the door

"Yes?..."

"Do you mind explaining what was that all about, then?"

Merula was silent for a moment. She wouldn't tell the exact reason, but she was clever enough to coat it while technically not lying

"Well...I reckon to have one cursed Haywood was too much for L/N, maybe they don't want to get the other one killed. It would stain their pride"

"Y/N has been lacking sleep since this all began, too. They don't want anyone else involved in this" The Weasley added

"You may be right...Do you think you can talk some sense into them?"

Merula then spotted a certain blonde running into the castle, going in the same direction. Under a mask of carelessness, a genuine smile grew

"That won't be necessary, professor"

...

My instinct brought me to the Artifact Room, where I immediately closed the door upon entering and just got to my knees when my body was unable to continue

My hands rested on them as tears started to form on their own, despite my best attempts to stop them

Why was it so hard to understand that Penny was off the table?

Why was it so hard to understand that she was the last one I wanted to get involved?

Just...why?...

I felt my breathing adopt a slightly faster pace, but only for a couple of seconds. I was too busy fighting with my thoughts and just trying to make any sense of it to realize that someone had opened the door

By the time I knew it, someone was handing me down a potion

"Here, drink this"

That voice...

Not wanting her to see me like this, I looked over my shoulder to confirm it. Those beautiful blue eyes, the braided hair, the worry in her face...

I took the potion but didn't open it

"Penny? What's this?"

"It's a calming draught, I always have a spare one just in case"

"That's very considerate of you, b-but really, I'm fine"

Then she placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a sympathetic look

"I heard you scream my name in the courtyard, Y/N. You can trust me"

Of course lying wasn't going to work, I made a mess back there

Reluctantly, I removed the cork and drank the calming draught. Just by feeling it go down my throat, I could feel my thoughts become clearer and my breathing was slowing down on its own

"Thank you..."

I said handing her the potion, but then Penny sat down in front of me, trying to get a better look at me

"Do you want to talk? You know you can trust me, Y/N"

I sighed before nodding slightly. Taking a quick glance at her before immediately trying to look away

Might as well tell her now. This was about her after all

"W-Well...Professor Rakepick says she found a way into the Cursed Vault, it's a portkey that will activate tonight"

Her gasp made me look at her, she was visibly surprised by this

"Tonight? But those are wonderful news!"

"They are. Rakepick says we should take someone else with us, but then everyone started leaning towards you and--"

"I'm in"

Upon hearing this, I felt my heart take the hit, quickly reminding me of what I was fearing just a second ago

Despite being under the influence of that potion, distress was beyond visible

"What? No"

Penny gave me a puzzled look. Never before had I prohibited her to come with me on an adventure

What was particularly concerning was how quick I was to brush her off

"Why not?"

"Penny, it's far too dangerous! Even a bloody dragon will be there"

She picked up on my increasing anguish, but her own emotions were just as strong at the moment

"And yet you're still going, Y/N! That's no justification"

"Yes, because we've been chosen and trained specifically to deal with this! There's no telling what could happen if you go!"

"I want to go, I need to see it for myself when the curse is broken. Plus you could use my help!"

I shook my head in denial. I knew she of all people had a reason to go, but the risk was far too big for a reward that was still uncertain

"There are plenty of ways you can help us from here"

The Hufflepuff was growing frustrated by my attempts at persuading her out of this mission, maybe to the point of getting personal

"Why don't you want me to go? I need to save my sister!"

It hurt to see her so angry at me, but as I felt the effect of the draught vanishing, I too adopted a similar gaze

I felt the hairs on my arms raising once again and the heartbeat increasing, even my face was heating up

"You're too valuable to lose!"

"Oh? And why am I the one who's too valuable? Why isn't it Bill? Or Merula? Or--"

Blood rushing

Tears escaping

Voice raising and suddenly

"BUT I DON'T LOVE THEM LIKE I LOVE YOU, OKAY!?"

Silence

Pure and suffocating silence

It quickly took over the room as soon as my voice stopped echoing through

I myself couldn't help but cover my mouth in shock by what just happened. Not just because I raised my voice against Penny, but because of what I said

Did I really just?...

Oh no

Beyond shocked, I looked at her. She was speechless with her eyes staring at me in disbelief

"You do?..."

"I have to get out of--"

Once again, I tried to run from it, but it didn't work. My arm was stopped by her hand and her startled voice

"N-No, it's okay! Really"

I turned around to see her yet again, not able to even think of a word for her. For sure she would turn me down, or worse

But her smile, that gentle, warm smile was there. The same one she showed me whenever we were goofing around or brewing something together

It was there

And so was that soft gaze she had whenever I had done something stupid and she was trying to help me like...well... right now

But this time, it hit different

"I want to hear it from you, Y/N. Please" Her sweet voice practically begging for me to stay. I didn't find myself to be strong enough to deny her request

And so, against everything my mind told me, I stayed behind, with Penny

She asked me to carry on with what I said before trying to escape. Sighing, I complied

I figured that it could help her understand why I didn't want her to go, but also...I think I owed her an explanation for well, everything

I gathered my strength until finally, words started to come out

"The truth is that I...I fancy you, Penny. I've done it for quite a while now and not only am I doing this to dave Bea and the others who fell victim to this curse"

My eyes, while looking down at first, were now focused on her. I didn't care if she saw how bad I looked at the moment, I was talking straight out of my heart, throwing myself in the void and hoping for the best

"...I do it because I can't stand to see you so depressed, it breaks my heart"

"Y/N..." The sole mention of my name by her was almost enough for me to back off, almost

But she needed to know

"If I can't see you like this, imagine how I felt when everyone started leaning towards you to follow us into the vault. I can't bear the thought of something bad happening to you"

Before I knew it, Penny wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug as she hid her forehead in my shoulders. At first, I couldn't believe it, I just stood there with her warmth and allowed that familiar feeling of security and care wash over me

A heavy, broken breath left my body, felt like a weight had been pulled off

At least until I heard her voice again, still buried in my shoulder

"...If I go to the Cursed Vault, would you be by my side?"

That question caught me off-guard, making me end the embrace to look at her. Although I think I heard her protest this

"Of course I would. I wouldn't leave you to yourself" I answered almost automatically

"Then I have nothing to fear"

The way she smiled after saying that, was disconcerting

"Penny..."

"I'm going to trust you with a secret of mine, one that I've never told anyone before"

She motioned me to come closer, which I did. It took her a bit to talk, seems as if this was a heavy subject for her as well

"It's bad enough to have my sister trapped in a portrait like that, it's horrible"

Penny was the one to sigh after that, her fists clenching as well before those blue orbs of her stared me down

"...But it's even worse to see the one I love risk their life for all of us every single year. I can only pray that you come back in one piece and so far you have"

The one she...what?...

Now I was speechless. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink when she noticed my reaction, but it didn't take long for a small smile to return to her

"This time, I want to help you the way you've helped us. It doesn't matter if it's an Ice knight, an Acromantula, or a bunch of Bogarts..."

Then, I felt something reaching out for my hand, it was hers

This gesture provoked our eyes to meet one last time

"As long as we are together. There is no such thing as an impossible challenge"

The determination in her, so familiar. Now I understood what Dumbledoremust've felt when I ignored his pleas for me to stop chasing the vaults

"And when we return from this, we'll talk. I promise"

What came after was still something that I'm struggling to process

Penny pulled me towards her a little and then closed the distance herself, leaning in towards me. I felt a pair of soft, tender lips kissing my cheek

"Thank you for opening up to me. I mean it"

There was no butterbeer or oversized sandwiches that could persuade the blonde to leave this mission, I understood that now. She would get to experience the end of this  curse herself

And as we stood along with Bill, Merula, Rakepick, and even Ben, I made my new mission to protect her from whatever lurked inside that vault

But as we approached the portkey and her hand wouldn't leave mine, I understood that even in the face of incredible danger...

...She too, would have my back

[eldridgecandell]

Orcs: Does your muse tend to be protective?

The first child of Nimueh bounced forward in a jumble of metal and bone as it stumbled, one arm swinging loosely to the side as it turned back to the source of its newfound affliction.  The second gunshot sent it crashing onto it’s back with a smoking hole in it’s piecemeal armor, offering a perplexed tilt at the cantaloupe sized wound.  

“The head Josiah!  The head!”  Roared an ethereal commanding voice, as the heavy clop of metal shod boots chased the voice followed by a roar of a warrior out of time.  Cheryl Duun, wielder of the rune axe Tre Ur Steini and the witch hunter’s apprentice, screams with the strength of her forefathers to smash the heavy stone rune blade deep into the second child of Nimueh sending the hollow form bouncing across the brick floor.  The woman bristling with the ancient power leaps to protect her mentor for the vampiric touch of the vampiric hag.  “Get away from him, you bitch!”

Strings of glowing blue light rose from the head of the rune axe as the inquisitor stood protectively in front of Eld, facing squarely without fear in front of the san’layn lord.  Nimeuh, still enraptured by the psychic feeding of her prey, felt emotion and hot anger at her meal being taken from her as she faced the young woman.  The once alabaster skin now dripped with crimson, hair, and skin as she spread her arms wide to howl in the face of these new interlopers.  The howl intensified in the closed space as the vampire let loose the primal rage before letting it die with a throbbing intensity, Duun never blinking in the face of evil as she wielded the axe.  

Eld behind her toppled to his hands and knees as he felt his world get big and small with each breath.

“I got him!” A new but familiar voice cut through the throbbing noise, strong calloused hands catching him beneath the arms to ease him onto his back.  Eld’s head pounded with the screams as he felt the brick catch him below, the face above him familiar in shape but mostly the eyes.  His eyes.  Worry and apprehension filled them as Sarasam Styrnlock got to work on the wounded inquisitor.  She was thick and hearty for a Kul Tiran but had sharp angles to her face like a woman of Elwynn and muscle to back both thanks to her time at the forge.  Now she was here and for once he was truly glad to be rescued.

“Fuckin ‘ell, she did a number on ya sir,” Sara muttered her thick hands swift as the rising tide as she dug into her bag for bandages and gauze for the older man’s wounds.  Pain was everywhere for the witch hunter, but the pain was good to keep him awake and knowing he was alive.  The thin woman’s ministrations had fed her well on his pain and blood, but the amount of blood slowly leaking across his face meant that it hadn’t been enough to kill him.  At least not right away.

Gunfire would resume from the direction from hence the women had come, a short figure dressed similar to the older witch hunter though with decided darker hair and spectacles stood his ground with pistols drawn.  The pistolier Josiah Nubern was living up to his new found calling, as he stood cool as ice as he unloaded his pistols in the direction of their new foe.  He was new to the Order, but seemed to suffer the same losses and dark beginnings many of the inquisitors survived to join in the fight against the dark.  Born from ledgers and money lending, a hex culling had stolen his family and friends from him to be conscripted into the soulless blue eyed shock troops the Coven employed.  Watching your fiance be split apart by bloated sow had a way of steeling one's mind and deadening the heart.  Josiah found solace in the irons and showed it with steady practiced shots at Nimueh.

The lead bounced about as the thin woman fueled by the meal of the older man seemed to slide between the shots as she growled with the inhuman notes of a feral beast, formerly pale face flush with red and eyes wide with hungry horror.  The only keeping her at bay though was the mythical axe of the Drust and the chosen wielder who would swing the stone blade through the air with eldritch blue light.  Cheryl’s eyes lost in the power she conducted facing  the braying nightmare, her feet spread as she would try and press closer to make contact with the san’layn.  With each step close and gunfire raining from behind though, Nimueh would slink back further into the shadows of the sewer though hardly relishing in a retreat.

“By the light she damn near scalped you, Eld,” Sara muttered as she pulled a waterskin and began to clear as much of the ruined skin and blood as she dared, her face grim as she worked on him.  Eld shivered at the cold water over his tingling exposed skin, his eyes fluttering as he reached forward to grab at the blacksmith hammer the tidesage had set to rest near them.  

“Stay awake, Candell.  I need you to be conscious.”  Sara ordered him again in her thick Stormsong accent, her hands working independant to her eyes assessment.  A green vial was drawn forth as she leaned him to rest on her fallen knee, the battle raging about them as she did her job.  “I’m sorry, sir, but this is going to hurt.”

A pop of a cork lead a scream from the old man to match that of the vampiress that battled his other rescuers.

Sara grimaced as she pressed gauze to Eld’s head and began to wrap his wounds quickly, her face unflinching in the face of her medical work.  “We’re almost done, stay focused Candell.”  A shifting movement to the tidesage’s right brought a new problem.  

“Mister Nubern.”

“On it,” came the curt reply of the pistolier as he stepped into a guard over the witch hunter and medic.  The glass of his spectacles flashing in the low light as he shifted the barrel of one of his pistols on the crawling child of Nimueh, a loud thunder and smoking barrel signing the end of the slave.  Stepping forward again to stand in front of the kneeling pair, Josiah would fire the final shots from his right pistol and already swiftly begin to reload, his one word spoken in Duun’s direction.  “Empty.”

Nimueh would hear the word as well, as her jaw began to stretch and become more gruesome hoping to chill the hearts of the invaders.  What was planned as a meal would become a feast as she let her hand stretch sharpen along those obsidian and crimson caked fingers to slash at the mortal before her.  A slash would be followed by an elongated lunge and a bestial cry as she made to tear into the axe wielding inquisitor, never tarrying on what she hoped to find.  Rend, slash, and tear were all that the blood mad san’layn could want as her strikes began to increase in frequency and power.

Cheryl growled as she swung and bounced a strike away from her face, another sidestep following as the claws raked at the sewer stones leaving deep gouges to the stone.  Her booted foot would slide across the brick again as she pivoted her body away from another lunge turning with the creature as they danced.  Nimueh growled again as she began to slash over and over again, gaining a step against the warrior as they found themselves on edge of the dais.  A misstep caused Duun to lose a foot in her dodges and swing the axe haft up to catch the swipe of the thin woman’s claws as they struggled against one another.  Nimueh’ wide jaw lapsed into a dog’s grin as she bore her feline eyes into the blue lite eyes of the Drust fueled inquisitor.  

“I have you now,” Nimueh gargled from her wide throat, the red and pink of the suckering hungered flesh to the pumping blood of the struggling warrior.

Cheryl grit her teeth, her own feral vykryl blood pumping and burning through her into the magical axe as she met the demon’s gaze with flint and fury.  She would not scream though, never wanting to give any satisfaction to the monster.  But Cheryl would speak, one word in a harsh whisper of an order.

“Fire.”

One.  Two.  Three.

Gunshots would fill the air as the bullets ripped into the exposed side of the san’layn lady, each silver shot tearing through the supernatural web of chaos that had spawned the dark one from whatever shadow they were born.  

Four.  Five.  Six.

Josiah kept his feet planted firmly and wide as he unloaded each gun at her, stony as the axe and brick below them as his natural aim took over to bombard Nimueh.  

Seven.  Eight.  Nine.

The san’layn howled in pain at the silvered kissed lead that tore into her, spilling the precious siphoned blood and her own former reservoir when she began her attack on Candell.  Her clawed hands raised as a feeble shield from the hail of shot.

Ten.  Eleven.

“Twelve!”  Josiah cried as the final shot went off and he lowered the smoking barrels, his green eyes hard behind glass she looked through his line of fire to see the bloody body of Nimueh.  But she was hardly still as faced her mangled fury on the short inquisitor, her shorn and bloody bullet kissed body already scrambling to find the source of her many wounds.  Blood black and red mixed among the broken sewer floor as Nimueh charged at the three.

“Die!”  The roaring cut of Cheryl Duun as she leapt through the air behind to bring her blazing axe down with the soul-searing fury of ancestors she never guessed she possessed.  The rage was at berserker levels as she crashed atop the vampire with a crushing swing, focused and furious as she chopped again and again.  Blood, bone, and flesh split from the magical runes that drank in the slaughter as Nimueh barely had a moment to scream before her head was smashed by the flinty edge of Tre Ur Steini.

@jacobdcheshyre

[mahalzevran]

Some stuff in my canon:

Rhian performs the Ultimate Sacrifice. But she had managed to save her essence using the things she learned as an arcane warrior, so she’s not exactly dead. More like a spirit similar to Cole. Only select people know what happened to her. There are rumors around that the Hero of Ferelden isn’t dead.

Wynne and Shale kickstarted the relationship between Rhian and Zevran. They were bored, so Wynne decided to tease Rhian about Zevran. This made Rhian realize that maybe she does have feelings for him. They talk and Zevran reveals that yes he actually has been trying to flirt with her this whole time. How could she not tell?

Bethany and Carver both make it to Kirkwall. They both come along to the expedition, but only Carver contracts the taint. Bethany joins the Wardens with him because of twin solidarity.

Alden was initially interested in Anders, but Anders needed more time after what happened with Karl. Then Alden met Fenris.

Kaia and Alden both fought the Arishok, but Alden got knocked out so Kaia was left fighting by herself. She defeated him because was trying to mix her lyrium potions and it exploded. The cork had enough velocity and hit the Arishok in the best spot to kill him. Hence why Kaia is the Champion and not Alden.

When fighting Corypheus in the Vimmark Mountains, everyone besides Kaia and Carver got knocked out. The two of them worked together to defeat him. While they were already in the process of mending their relationship, this was a really big defining moment that brought them closer to each other.

First Enchanter Irving died in the Conclave and he’s succeeded by Eadric, one of the elves you meet in the Magi Origin.

After the Kirkwall Rebellion, Anders comes across Rhian and she reinstates him back into the Wardens, granting him immunity. He’s currently travelling with Rhian and Zevran on their quest to find the cure.

Bolin is the Inquisition’s lyrium dealer, under the guise that he works for the Merchant’s Guild. Him and Dorian eventually start a relationship.

When Kaia comes to Skyhold, she brings Alden, Fenris, Carver, and Bethany. They thought that it would be safest for the younger twins to be at Skyhold.

Alistair is the Grey Warden contact. But beforehand, he was travelling with Rhian, Zevran, and Anders.

Alistair and Kaia weren’t the only ones who came to Adamant. Alden, Fenris, Carver, and Bethany also came. With all of those people, no one was left in the Fade.

After Adamant, Kaia leaves for Weisshaupt with Carver and Bethany. Alden and Fenris stay behind to keep helping out.

Rhian comes to Skyhold to check on Leliana after Corypheus is defeated. Leliana introduces Lu to Rhian. Cullen walks in on the meeting and almost has a heart attack because he believed she was dead.

Rhian also brings Zevran and Anders. Anders gets really starstruck because he finally gets to meet Fiona, his idol.

[anthonybrxdgerton]

A Discovery of Witches reread

Last week I re-read A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness and it took me a long time to do it; I had to pause every few pages (sometimes paragraphs) because of the choices characters made I didn’t agree with. I will be doing my reactions about episodes as well (as soon as I re-watch them) and comparing the show to the first book.

My reactions, notes and everything under the cut. There are some trivia I forgot about, some minor changes book vs tv show, some stuff referencing the next books and what not. 

BEWARE OF SPOILERS FOR THE BOOKS. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOKS, DON’T READ THIS POST. Enjoy!

[ a discovery of witches | shadow of night | the book of life | time’s convert ]

the book takes place in 2009 in the span of 40 days

miriam and marcus have very different taste in music (The whole area seemed unoccupied, although from somewhere there came faint strains of a Bach cello concerto and something that sounded an awful lot like the latest hit recorded by the Eurovision song-contest winners);

marcus wears converse and he's BLOND (so are nathaniel and satu); 

the killings that occurred at the time (a.k.a jack’s doing) were the reason matthew thought that vampires are going extinct and are not able to sire anyone else;

Patience, alas, was not the strong suit of Bishop women - you can clearly see that in the books as well as in the show;

sarah and rebecca's mother's name is joanna  (which only matters to me because it’s my name too);

matthew came to oxford at 1989 (when he met hamish); 

matthew was 37 eyars old when we was re-born as a vampire and baldwin was in his late twenties or early thirties. marcus was in his late twenties and diana is 33.

marcus is into red-heads (but phoebe is not a red-head, which will be notet later by baldwin or matthew (i don’t remember which)) ;

"I asked if you were hungry.” Why he continued to do so was a mystery—when was I not hungry? #relatable, I’m Diana here;

“I love your hair,” he murmured. “It has every color imaginable—even strands of red and black.” which will be important later on when diana’s hair change

matthew knows how to knock the cork off with a sword (and now i feel robbed that we didn't see it)

both matthew and hamish won all souls prize fellowship

"What’s your name?” I asked, smothering a smile. “Timothy,” he answered, rocking back on his heels. He was wearing mismatched cowboy boots, one red and one black. His eyes were mismatched, too—one was blue and one was green. “You’re more than welcome to check your e-mail, Timothy.” “You’re the one.” He tipped his fingers at me, pivoted on the heel of the red boot, and walked away. - i just love Timothy, okay? He’s a sweetheart PLUS he is somewhat important in The Book of Life

ashmole 782 has been missing since 1859 but gerbert had it a thousand years ago and “it is a strange book, is it not, Diana? A thousand years ago I took it from a great wizard from Toledo. When I brought it to France, it was already bound by layers of enchantment."

diana's fingers were already colorful (mostly blue) especially when she was angry/stressed 

Somewhere in the center of my soul, a rusty chain began to unwind. It freed itself, link by link, from where it had rested unobserved, waiting for him. My hands, which had been balled up and pressed against his chest, unfurled with it. The chain continued to drop, to an unfathomable depth where there was nothing but darkness and Matthew. At last it snapped to its full length, anchoring me to a vampire. -  matthew could feel the chain if diana wanted him too. I think she weaved it subconsciously without realizing she’s using her weaver’s powers at the time

Matthew also knew his faults, anger chief among them. Typically, Matthew’s rage was so destructive that once the poison was out of his system, he disappeared for months or even years to come to terms with what he'd done - first reference to the blood rage 

matthew used to be friends with marquis de lafayette 

when marcus was dying and matthew told him about vampires, marcus thought he was tormented by a demon 

“Holy God,” Marcus said softly. Staring at the picture, he tried to imagine what it would be like to receive a photo of his own father ripped to pieces and tossed into the dirt to die. - a.k.a. WAIT TILL SHADOW OF NIGHT AND NOW I'M CRYING I JUST LOVE MATTHEW AND MARCUS’ RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH OKAY

Matthew wore his pilgrim’s badge only when he was afraid he was going to kill someone or when he was thinking of Eleanor St. Leger—or both. - i wish they kept it in the show too especially since it created the tree of life in bishop’s house

My aunt was good with spells. Emily wasn’t but could fly for short distances and see the future.

 Matthew’s books were arranged not by size but in a running time line. Those on the first bookshelf were so ancient that I couldn’t bear to think about what they contained—the lost works of Aristotle, perhaps? Anything was possible. - headcanon that he has books from a Library of Alexandria (maybe he got them from Philippe or Hugh or Godfrey?) 

“It was spring, you were bored, and so you got up one morning and went to Italy to make war. Your father had to beg forgiveness from the king on his knees”. now I NEED TO KNOW WHAT MATTHEW HAS DONE 

“Perhaps, but one thing hasn’t changed in all these years. Whenever there’s a crisis, there’s a de Clermont nearby.” - it should be their motto, really

diana has visions too - i know it's obvious but i completely forgot about it since the show didn’t include it at all except for episode 7 when everybody saw the past 

Matthew was unusually tall for the time, though not as tall as he became once he was a vampire - being reborn as a vampire not only makes you stronger but bigger and taller too.

His mother strode forward and slapped him, hard, across the face. “How dare you ask that question?” i need to see it, WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE THIS, SHOW?

 marcus is "good at wheedling information out of people."

“And you are going to give me gray hairs—long thought impossible among vampires, by the way—with your courage, your firecracker hands, and the impossible things you say.” -  i just like it and i wonder if deb already knew that diana would do that for him in the book of life?

Baldwin had him by the throat before the words were out of his mouth. Their heads close together, one dark and one bright, they rocketed to the far end of the hall. Matthew’s body smashed into a wooden door, splintering it with the impact. - friendly reminder that Baldwin is a much better fighter than Matthew and the show SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MAKING HIM WEAKER

Vampires didn’t usually get all of their names (5) when they were reborn but over the years.

One reason the de Clermont family was so long-lived was that each member had different skills in a crisis. Philippe had always been the leader of men, a charismatic figure who could convince vampires and humans and sometimes even daemons to fight for a common cause. Their brother Hugh had been the negotiator, bringing warring sides to the bargaining table and resolving even the fiercest of conflicts. Godfrey, the youngest of Philippe’s three sons, had been their conscience, teasing out the ethical implications of every decision. To Baldwin fell the battle strategies, his sharp mind quick to analyze every plan for flaws and weaknesses. Louisa had been useful as bait or as a spy, depending on the situation. Matthew, improbably enough, had been the family’s fiercest warrior. His early adventures with the sword had made his father wild with their lack of discipline, but he’d changed. Now whenever Matthew held a weapon in his hand, something in him went cold and he fought his way through obstacles with a tenacity that made him unbeatable. Then there was Ysabeau. Everyone underestimated her except for Philippe, who had called her either “the general” or “my secret weapon.” She missed nothing and had a longer memory than Mnemosyne. - i really like it and i wish it was in the show too. That being said I really am interested what are the talents/skills of Verin, Stasia and Freya.

A helicopter,” Baldwin said. “It was waiting in Clermont-Ferrand to take me back to Lyon. - does Baldwin have a house there? 

”Fancy seeing you here, Miss Bishop”. It was what he always said when I sneaked into his study at home or crept downstairs late at night for one more bedtime story. FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT STEPHEN TOLD HER THE SAME THING IN LONDON TOO

Let me know if you need anything, Ysabeau.” Baldwin brushed her cheeks with his lips. - WERE THEY ENEMIES? FRENEMIES?? I THOUGH THAT HATED EACH OTHER WHAT IS GOING ON I NEED ANSWERS ESPECIALLY THAT YSABEAU SAID SHE HATES HIM IN BOL AND THAT HE TRIED TO BANISH HER FROM JERUSALEM ONCE

Marcus was Matthew’s son. He was my son. / When the door swung open, Marcus’s blue eyes met mine with a twinkle. “Hi, Mom, we’re home!” I JUST LOVE IT, OKAY, WE NEED MORE OF THEM IN THE SHOW

Marcus prefers whiskey even though all of his family loves wine

One morning Marcus turned on his heel and stormed back to the house, leaving his father alone in the old apple orchard. “Diana,” he growled in greeting before streaking through the family room and straight out the front door. “I’m too damn young for this!” he shouted as he left. - I LOVE YOU MY BABY DRAMA QUEEN

Gerbert had always wanted to be included among the Knights of Lazarus, and my father refused him time and time again. - which is why he sent Juliette to spy on Matthew and it gives interesting layer that he told about The Knights in the show. He’s so bitter loool

Stephen Proctor could timewalk into the past OR into the future hence why we saw him in the 1x01 - he wasn’t just a hallucination, he probably timewalked into the future to make sure Ashmole 782 is safe

also, at the end of the book, right before they timewalked, Matthew noticed that there are some annotations in his “Doctor Faustus” copy he made that he didn’t remember putting them there. - is this a sign that 16th century Matthew somehow subconsciously remembered Diana or his fight with Kit or something? I wish that was explained too because that’s interesting.

this is so long I’M SORRY. Overall, I had very hard time re-reading this book especially when Matthew was so possessive and controlling. I wanted to punch him every time he said or did something. Show!Matthew is definitely more bearable and les creepy. Also, I love the familiar/platonic relationships between Marcus & Matthew, Marcus & Diana, Marcus & Miriam, Miriam & Diana, Sophie & Diana, Sarah & Marcus and more. Too bad the show didn’t care about those relationships too much. As for the romantic relationships, I wish I knew more about Miriam & Bertrand, Philippe & Ysabeau, Sophie & Nathaniel too.

[captainlister]

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” (Gotoofastforme)

@gotoofastforme

It’s a nice part of the world, Spain. He thinks. Knows. Despite everything, it’s still a nice part. Good for corrupting, they are, Spaniards. There’s the whole business with the fleets, the … wossitcalled?, the colony-making-thing in the amusingly misnamed New World they’ve got going on. Great stuff, that. The wars, the poverty, the monarchy - oh, the monarchy! -, the atrocities committed in the name of the good side, the plagues. Where was he? Ah, yes. Right. Spain. That’s where he was. Is. Good patch of earth, Spain — has he already entertained that thought? Bloody fantastic, is what it is, even though he’s struggling to wrap his mind around its merits right now. There must be a heap thereof, otherwise why would he be here, drunk off his proverbial hooves, with no intention to leave any time soon? The food, he wagers. Yeah. Amazing, the food, either underseasoned or overcooked. That angel would sodding HATE it. Then there’s the sea. Not that he’s all too fond of water, being a beast of flames and all, but the view’s to die for. It’s spreading out wide and bright before him, blue like a certain pair of eyes he hasn’t seen in a while, glittering like … like glitter. And the cliffs. He likes cliffs. Ancient as all hell, the lot of them, jagged and unyielding, perfect for dangling one’s legs and toying with the temptation of leaning forward only a little, plunging into the churning waves beneath. Just … sinking. 

The demon’s musings are interrupted by a hiccup and a sudden need to scramble for another bottle of that palate-caressing rioja keeping him company by the crateful. The glass is warm beneath his shivering hands as he lifts it up to his lips, soaked through and through with sunlight. The cork dissipates with a soft alcoholic plop as it’s wished into nonexistence. Crowley takes a deep swig, hands trembling like jellyfish. Ridiculous, that. Seven whole days spent brooding away in the Spanish summer heat, nothing but wine to fill his sore stomach, and he’s colder than a block of ice. Nothing seems to warm him up these days. Not after … the it. The stuff. The things. The SIGHTS he’s seen. 

Shuddering, he tilts blearily forward, staring into the roiling blue beneath his feet with reawakened curiosity. There’s rocks lurking down there, inches beneath the gleaming surface. Sharp-edged enough to smite his bones, prolly. Might be worth a try, eh? Might bloody well be worth a try. He inches towards the edge of the cliff, releasing the bottle from his hold and watching with unspoiled glee as it tumbles rapidly downwards, leaving spirals of red wherever its gyrating course takes it. There. Gone. How satisfying! His thighs have slid halfway off the brink of the precipice when the voice rings out behind him. That voice. 

Even as he twists round in surprise, Crowley knows that his grin’s hanging weirdly across his face, loose and askew like a half-shed snake skin. The ill-fitting hat on his head is likely not helping the impression of complete and utter lunacy. Stole it, along with the colourfully embroidered uniform, from a … hang on, what do they call them? Mean wiry guys fighting horned animals, that sort of thing. Anyway, lovely fashion, obviously. Skin-tight. Black, for the most part. Fabulous. Very dramatic capes, too, loving it. Yet another great aspect of this country, he thinks, but not quite as great as the glowing shape swimming into his view. The smile grows wider, almost delirious. 

“ Angel! ”  Bugger, the booze is a terrible influence on him, a wicked slyness that creeps through his veins and makes it ALMOST seem as though he’s positively overjoyed to see his old adversary. Which he isn’t, of course. Nah. He’s a demon, remember, and hence in no position to be abundantly relieved no longer to remain alone, and certainly not in any fit state to go all hallelujah on the unexpected appearance of an enemy. And anyway, look at Aziraphale! Stubbornly immaculate despite the eye-stabbing gusts of sand whipping up from the shoreline, looking holier than Crowley ever, EVER did, even before the whole snake fiasco. What an arsehole. He can sod right off. Why in heaven the demon’s patting the rock beside him in a wordless invitation, he can’t even begin to fathom. Probably planning to push the smug fucker into the waves when he least expect it. Yeah. That’s it. Pure evil! “ Y’here! Angelito! Long time no vista! T’ribly excitin’, the fifteenth century, innit?! ‘Ere, like s’me wine? ‘S not French, but good ‘nuff even f’ a pretend- pretensh– prenshoo — nobby nob like you! ”

[marginalsoldiers]

Types of Flooring

Flooring occupies the largest area, by length, in our houses and lends an aesthetic vibe to the surroundings of the house. Flooring may be considered as a part of the whole floor structure, such as the surface of floorboards or a concrete slab, but it usually is the permanent covering installed over the floor. The word ‘flooring' can also be ambiguated as the act of laying down the floor, in a house. Now that one is clear about what flooring is, let's delve into the many kinds of flooring there are.

Timber

No two pieces of wood are the same, which is the sole reason why timber is often considered as an ideal flooring material. This projects the floor with a unique aesthetic vibe that mayhap no other material can match. It is prone to scratches but also is a very durable material. But as hygroscopic as timber comes, it is susceptible to areas which bear a lot of moisture content, like in bathrooms.

Laminate

This is basically a compressed fibreboard plank which typically is wrapped up with an image, to be perceived as timber, stone, or tile. These are often installed at places which would want to be projected as having a natural floor, but at lower costs, easier installation, & eliminating any possibilities of scratches. Such floors exhibit a hefty warranty of almost two decades. Visit here to know about Flooring.

Vinyl

One of the most convenient methods of installation, Vinyl flooring can be brought home as a roll and is adhered to the floor by glueing it. It comes with an added benefit of being attainable in different colours and profiles. This type also mimics the appearance of other materials.

Bamboo

This type lies between hardwood and stone, and is actually a glorified form of grass that's compressed to one's convenience. The main advantage of bamboo lies in its ability to resist water and also act as a renewable & eco-friendly material at the same time. But the drawback here is its vulnerability to scratches & dents as it is not as dense as regular wood.

Cork

This is another water-resistant, renewable material that fits in a melange of room spaces such as basements &, moisture-infested & damp areas such as bathrooms. Cork can either be glued to the floor or be fixed in the same way as laminates. These can easily be battered, but also keep the space warm and cosy, as they are flexible.

Tile (Ceramic or Porcelain)

These, as one might know, are artificially made and hence come in a lot of textures and hues. Because of their rock-solid rigidity, they put up a good fight against scratches & dents. These are well-suited for moisture-ridden areas and hence are one of the most popular flooring kinds to be installed.

[gundamthey17]

Klancetober Day 7

I’m a couple days behind, and this one took a long time.  Partly because I was so tired it was hard to focus, and partly because I’m pretty sure this is the longest one to date.  But I’m pretty excited about this au.  We’ll see where it goes...

Witch

Keith glanced up from his phone as the shop’s bell chimed.  A lanky young Hispanic man walked in, looking around the shop with wide eyes and undisguised awe.  Keith fought the urge to roll his eyes.  It never failed; at least once a week he would have to deal with some random non-magic stranger wandering into the shop wanting to have their fortune told, or to buy crystals, or instructions for brewing a love potion. The magical community had various names for non-magic people, depending on regional dialect and desired level of rudeness. Normals, Normies, Mundanes, or heaven forbid, Muggles.  Keith had his own name for them.  He liked to call them tourists.  Not inherently bad, but generally not good.

This particular tourist appeared innocent enough, but Keith knew that looks could be deceiving.  He cleared his throat and, with considerable annoyance, asked, “Can I help you?”  He’d never been one for hospitality, and he wasn’t about to change that now.

“Oh!” the man exclaimed, as if noticing Keith for the first time. Maybe he had.  Tourists were generally oblivious.  “Hi,” he said brightly.  “Is this your shop?”

Keith shrugged.  “I work here,” he replied.

“Cool.”

“So… are you looking for something in particular?”

“No.  I was told this was a neat shop and that I should check it out.  I had some free time, so I figured I would stop in.  Do you mind if I browse for a bit?”

“Uh… I guess not.”

“Thanks!”

“Just don’t touch anything.”

“Oh, right.  Probably a bunch of dangerous magical artifacts, right?”

“No, I just don’t want you messing up the displays.”

“Oh.”

“I keep all the dangerous stuff locked up in the back.  I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course!  Makes sense. Don’t mess up your displays, got it!” He gave a casual salute and began a slow circuit of the shop.

Keith was baffled.  Tourists he understood; they were a necessary evil when running a magic shop.  But he didn’t get many looky-loos in his line of work. Pretty much everyone who came to the shop knew what they wanted, or what they thought they wanted.  He watched the stranger out of the corner of his eye, but it seemed as though the young man was genuinely taking a look around.  Keith didn’t sense anything off about his aura – if anything it was quite positive – and Kosmo hadn’t moved from his perch on top of the tallest bookshelf, so nothing was amiss.  It was just… odd.  He had just relaxed enough to go back to his phone when the man spoke up from across the room.

“So.  You’re really a witch?  Er, warlock? Wizard?”

This time Keith did roll his eyes.  “Witch is gender neutral.  Warlock is outdated.  Wizard is an old guy with a staff who shouts ‘you shall not pass’.”

The man snorted.  “So you are a witch.”

“Yep.”

“That’s awesome.  Do you like it?”

“It’s fine.”

The man’s smile finally dimmed.  “Are you always this chatty?” he asked sarcastically.

“Only with obnoxious strangers,” Keith retorted.

“You must not get much business if you treat your customers this way.”

“I don’t treat my customers this way.  You’re not a customer.  You’re a tourist.”

“I live here!”

“A tourist to magic, I mean.  You know, a mundane?  A normal?”

“You mean like a M-“

Keith made a slicing gesture in the air.  “Do not use the M word.  It’s ridiculous.”

“Sorry.  But that’s what you meant, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, can you blame me?  This place is fascinating!”

Despite Keith’s best efforts, this young man’s sincerity was making it hard to stay annoyed with him.  Which didn’t mean that he was going to stop trying.  “Are you going to buy anything?”

“I don’t know.  Is there anything here that would be useful to me, a ‘tourist’?”  He made air quotes around the word.

Keith huffed.  “I’ve got some charms.  Potions. That sort of thing.”

The man gave him a cockeyed grin.  “Got any luck potions?”

Rather than respond, Keith waved a hand toward a handwritten sign on the counter.  In large block letters it read:

ABSOLUTELY NO

-          HOROSCOPES

-          MIND READING

-          PALM READING

-          LUCK POTIONS

-          LOVE POTIONS

“That’s okay.  Who needs luck when you’ve got skill, am I right?”

Keith said nothing.

“Right.  Okay, no luck potion.  Well… Actually, there might be something.  This might be a stupid question, but do you have anything for allergies?  Mine have been killing me lately, and allergy meds just aren’t doing the trick.”

Keith blinked, surprised by such a simple request.  “Yeah.  That’s really easy, actually.  I can have a potion ready for you in ten minutes.”

“Great!  Thanks!”

Keith rummaged around gathering tools and ingredients.  The tourist went back to the displays, doing a terrible job of acting like he wasn’t watching Keith’s every move out of the corner of his eye.  Keith set his smallest cauldron out on its stand and started the fire with a flick of his fingers.  Well, if the tourist was going to watch him, there was no harm in showing off a little. By the time Keith started chopping ingredients, consulting a pocket-sized book every once in a while to make sure he got the ratios right, the tourist had drifted back over to the counter.

“Do you, uh, mind if I watch you?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.  “I’ve never seen anyone make a potion before.”

“I guess not,” Keith replied, with a shrug that was far more nonchalant than he felt.  He busied himself chopping herbs, hoping the stranger didn’t see the flush creeping up his neck.  After a minute or so, the silence got awkward, and Keith cleared his throat.  “So who told you about this shop anyway?”

“One of my flight instructors.  He highly recommended coming in to take a look.”

“Flight instructor.  You’re a pilot?”

“Gonna be.  I haven’t graduated yet.  Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good.  They call me the tailor because of how I thread the needle.”

Keith frowned.  “What does sewing have to do with flying?”

“What?  Nothing. Thread the needle is a type of maneuver. You know, where you fly through a really skinny opening without hitting the sides?”  Keith still looked blank.  “Really?  You’ll make a Lord of the Rings reference, but you don’t know the saying ‘thread the needle’?” Keith bristled, but the man was already moving on.  “Whatever, it’s no big deal.  I’m Lance, by the way.  I just realized I never really introduced myself.”

“Keith.”

“Nice to meet you, Keith!”

“Likewise.”

Lance surveyed the ingredients that Keith had arrayed in front of him.  “Is that ragweed?” he asked incredulously.  “I thought this potion was to cure allergies, not cause them.”

“It is a cure, and that is ragweed.  Hair of the dog.  Just trust me, it’s gonna work.”

“Wait, wait, wait.”  Lance waved his hands dramatically.  “You know the idiom ‘hair of the dog’, but not ‘thread the needle’?”

“It’s not an idiom, it’s a spell,” Keith replied impatiently.  “DNA from something that bit you can often be used to cure the wound.  Not like, vampires and werewolves, but most animals.  The spell needs the essence of the thing it’s fighting against.  Hence the ragweed.”

Lance snickered.

“What?” Keith demanded.

“You used the word ‘hence’.  You must be a witch.”

Keith rolled his eyes and went back to the potion.  “Whatever.”

“Still, it’s kinda cool to think that we – tourists, as you say – got the idiom from witches.”

“Tourists do that with a bunch of stuff.”

“Now that I believe.”

Keith finished the potion and used a ladle to pour it into a glass jar with a cork stopper.  “Here it is, one anti-allergy potion.”

“Great!  How much do I owe you?”

“Well, normally I’d mark up the price for a tourist, but…”  Keith rummaged around behind the counter and came up with a small book.  It was a brand new version of the well-worn tome he had consulted earlier.  The cover read Easy Potions You Can Make At Home! in bright yellow lettering.  “If you buy this book, you get a free potion with it anyway.”

Lance frowned.  “Is that really going to be useful to me?  As a tourist?”  There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but no disbelief.

“Yeah, actually.  Most potion-making is more like cooking than magic.  If you can follow the instructions and use the right ingredients, you’ll be fine.  And there’s nothing in here that can seriously hurt you if you screw up.”

“Oh, that’s comforting.”

“Trust me, it’s way cheaper to just make them yourself.”

“Okay, you’ve got yourself a deal!”  Lance paid for the book, collected the potion, and headed for the door.

“Hang on!” Keith called.  He hurried up to Lance and, refusing to look him in the eye, held out a business card.  “This has my contact info on it.  In case you need help with the potions,” he added quickly.  “Or, you know, you can just come by the shop again.”

“Thank you,” Lance replied brightly.  He gently tucked the business card into the book.  “And thanks for this.  Seriously.  ‘Teach a man to fish’, and all that.”

Keith’s brow wrinkled with confusion.  “I don’t know what that means.”

“You know what, never mind.  It was nice to meet you!” Lance called.  Then he was out the door, the shop’s bells jangling behind him.

[libidomechanica]

When fire

Can life in my brain, ah, what  to the pit? yield so  sterile, On your grace it is 

his wars and do governs  me the Rhine More grant me the  tower oer. by slaves of Love 

must pause too brief and politicians  and haunt me alone. Tis all his  transferred to me, a 

passing ’“t is nothingness  doing to the poor once  to fight wi” a craftely 

you will shepherd stock the  peace and then roll in such a  bean, was never can 

entomb it racks, prison twine. Her  eyes, thyself within to  the steps are but them 

not. I hid my love to  say or love lookd again. What  dirty spring to 

a pint of my hand as we  sit beneath each suck them now fill  the lasted thus grace. Who 

still exists without  a toga or a  mere speakers— I have their usual 

claims, such small and thousand  bad, on thy behavior;  beauty doth fill more ungainly Make: “they 

say, to be fairest window  peels, my funny kin, sae higher  then night;” with the tyrants 

pudding— now what heard not bite  thee in this world, her vineyard— yes! The fondness of years 

pass, and blood that think thee of  a foreigners  initiation, who 

is dry cork, and from an  unaverred yet prodigy, Miss  Maevia Mannish, both invention shall 

meet no tailors wife put our  beck, or a swan or  a minute, come and 

wear my heart shall scarce sustaine thing  there, sleepy one? And, passing is  yearning. When a 

man; and taste before delight.  At being a little ones, that  beautys rose might was 

blue 10 beside me sight of Albany.  And with due  precious progenies and the 

elves, Other of doom. was  not Time and let the  blabbing like Titan from happy 

titles, are means to lay her  brightest! Hence Cupids bow, front,  an ample from Earth, and evry 

possessing! She meanwhile her  mercy then, in thigh and that  brush the true; and Humbleness 

every part of  love; therefore him, there is cheating  Toies, your soarings that way;— juan 

yet quicken.                      Yet I see thou sawst yesterday.  But I want  out without being too as 

woman love can crack pipe— the  arrow striking brown face, and  rose is she, do what wont 

anent the playing “Laughter.” Gone  down an empty of  wit, admitted late, much as the 

Sultan, as aged men  gathers eye, then to thee their dance  what nobody can