#helps that gunnie is just as scared

[the-ultimate-muses]

Only able to offer a nod in response as his stomach twisted into a cat's cradle of nerves, Kaz set to making his way to the musician's room on the far end of the second floor. Had he known the breeder wanted to hold his hand, he wouldn't be gripping his biceps so tightly, more than likely having offered it under the guise of not getting lost in the crowd.

Door clicking shut behind them, Kaz slumped back against it (after turning the lock back into place just in case someone decided to come snooping), his body heaving out a sigh with a thunk of his head against the wood. "Fuck, it was loud out there. Are all parties like that?" It wasn't really a question seeking to be answered, Kaz hardly leaving a pause between it and his next sentence. "I just...it was too loud. 'm not used to it yet. Plus, if someone yells loud enough it makes these things crackle, gives me a headache." As much as he liked that he even got to experience such annoyances, they were still...well, annoying.

Leaning off the door now, Kazuichi began to meander around Ibuki's room, having been in it so many times that it felt comfortable and safe. "Tch, course she still has this piece of shit." The shit being a small metal guitar, about the size of a child's. It was made of patchwork metal carefully welded and sanded down to leave a smooth, shiny finish. It was one of the first things he'd made Ibuki simply because he could. "Still not tuned right..." Mused after a gentle pluck of it's strings in the first few notes of one of the songs they'd played earlier.

He was stalling.

"Um...fuck I dunno. I've never done shit like this before. Making out with people at these parties over the years doesn't mean much now." Not with real feelings. Still, they'd both confessed so they both were on the same level. Kazuichi could work with that, his confidence always having come easier when the other person was floundering. "Well...I like you, you like me, right?" Turning towards the breeder now, Kaz couldn't meet his eyes as he took careful steps towards him like he was an animal about to flee.

"But we both don't know what the fuck we're doing. So...we could just...i-if you want to, just kinda go with the flow?" Gaze finally lifting to Gundham's, it seemed more sure than it had at any point that night, even with the flush lighting up Kaz's face. "Y'know, hang out, hold hands 'n stuff, easy shit until we stop feeling like...this everytime things get heavy. I'll ask whenever I wanna hug you or something too. I'm always down for a hug 'n shit, so you can just do whatever...okay?" Please be okay.

For a moment, Kazuichi swore his ears were acting up again, a hand coming up to fiddle with the tiny devices curled around his ears, only to find that they were, in fact, working just fine. If not that, maybe it was the alcohol? Sure, he didn't have that much, enough to have him warm and carefree, but surely not enough to halluciante entire conversations. Did...alcohol even do that? Well, seems that would remain a mystery as everything Gundham was saying lived in reality.

He hadn't expected a return defense against his own self depreciation, Kaz's cheeks steadily gaining in color until the flush traveled well down his neck to disappear under his shirt collar. If he had been confused before, he was woefully lost now, caught between the compliments, the promise of defense from his father despite Gundham not truly knowing what it would entail, and-

"Wha-" Words replayed in his head, mouth opening and closing several times before looking up to the breeder in pure disbelief. "Did...are you..." He was afraid to say it, that if he said it outloud it wouldn't be true, that Gundham would laugh at his misunderstandings. There was no fucking way...was there?

His emotional whirlwind came to a sudden, almost nauseating halt as a group of people started shouting where they gathered in Ibuki's pool, Kaz's hand having to cover his ears it had been so loud with the help of the amplifiers he still hadn't fully acclimated to. "C-Can we like...I dunno, go for a walk or something? I don't wanna make you ditch Sonia but I-I...I don't wanna be here anymore." What if someone overheard? What if they laughed at how delusional Kaz was being? What if his own shitty reputation started to affect Gundham after this?

"I-If you don't wanna leave, I have the key to 'buki's room? Her heh, her parents had it soundproofed after she got her last bass, so it sure as shit won't be this noisy in there."

[kurokawaia]

❛ DADZAI?? ❜

DAD!Dazai Osamu X MUM!Reader

WC: 1k+ | WARNINGS: x fem reader, reader is a mother, dazai is a father, you both have a daughter, ooc dazai? + more

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: hihihi!!! this idea has been stuck in my head for the longest time, And I absolutely love ur writing style!!!!!!!! So I’m wondering if it’s possible for you to write a dadzai x fem!reader and he has a little daughter!! Thank u!!! - ANON

m.list | bsd m.list

Dazai would be the ultimate playful dad. He'd constantly come up with games to entertain his daughter, he'd let her win every time! he doesn't love to see his little princess sad, he wants her happy all the time. No tears around here!

Dazai’s teasing extends to both you and your daughter. He’d affectionately poke fun at the little things, like when his daughter mispronounces words or when you’re caught being overly serious.

Dazai is very protective of the both of you, your his only family, your his wife, and she's his daughter. He makes sure everything is secure, he doesn't want either of you in danger, he's always looking out for the threats, especially considering what his last job was.

Dazai would constantly shower his daughter with affection, but in the most chaotic way possible. Imagine him picking her up and spinning her around until she’s dizzy with laughter, or carrying her on his shoulders >.<

After your daughter goes to bed, Dazai loves having lovey-dovey moments with you, kissing you, hugging you, teasing you, having sex with you, he loves you all.

Dazai always be thinking of spontaneous adventures to take you and your daughter on (yes he will avoid work by doing this, he's hitting two birds with one stone) loves to watch his little girl play on the playground, making sandcastles but he glares at any boys who goes up to her.

Protective Dazai! GLARES AT THE LITTLE BOYS WHO WALK UP TO HIS LITTLE PRINCESS 😭🙏🏼

Dazai’s attempts at teaching his daughter important life lessons would often be... unorthodox. He’d tell her bizarre metaphors or use strange examples... when she's older, in her teen years, she starts talking about a double suicide as well...

When his daughter comes home with school projects or arts and crafts, Dazai gets surprisingly into it. He’d help her build the most elaborate school project.

As much as he wants to shelter his daughter, Dazai also believes in giving her independence to explore the world. He trusts that with both of your guidance, she’ll grow into someone independent.

BEDTIME STORIES!! DAZAI LOVES PULLING GUNNY VOICES WHILE READING HIS PRINCESS A STORY! He’d act out characters, make exaggerated voices, and then cuddle up with her until she falls asleep, her tiny hand clutching his 🥺

Dazai and your daughter would often conspire against you in the cutest of ways, like pretending to plan a prank or plotting a surprise just to make you laugh.

Now.... Beast!Dazai as a father...

Dazai would soften in front of his daughter, would absolutely never get mad, never yell, none of that. He is incredibly protective of the both of you, almost to the point where he is paranoid because he's scared something might happen to you and his little princess.

Though he’s a feared man in the underworld, when he’s home, he’s a completely different person with his daughter. He’ll play peek-a-boo, help her chase butterflies, and allow her to style his hair (which is why he often has bows or clips in his hair when you come home)

He’s big on teaching his daughter how to read people and situations. Even from a young age, he’ll subtly point out things like body language, tone of voice, and how to trust her instincts. He wants her to be sharp and never get hurt, he doesn't want her to suffer in a world like his

Dazai spoils you both, bringing back gifts with him after missions, flowers, toys, all of that. He loves to see his girls happy.

On nights where he can’t sleep (which is often), you’ll find him in his daughter’s room, quietly watching her sleep (NOT IN A CREEPY WAY LAMFOBSOJBVLS) Sometimes, he’ll hum lullabies from his childhood to soothe himself as much as his daughter.

You are the one person who keeps Dazai grounded. While his daughter melts his heart, you provide him with emotional stability. He’ll confide in you about his fears of failing as a father, or anything, because he knows you're there to help him, to help him do teh right things, reassure him, telling him that he's doing the best.

Dazai trains his daughter in self defense. He doesn't want her involved in the mafia, he just wants her to be able to protect herself. He only does it when his pretty wifey isn't home though... he doesn't want to get scolded for you catching him teaching her how to wield and shoot a gun

Family nights every night! Dazai never knows when his last night will be so he makes you eat together, watch a movie, reading a story to his daughter every night without a fail because he chesrishes these moments so much.

Dazai isn’t big on over-the-top displays of affection in public, but when it’s just you and him, he’ll wrap his arms around you, especially when he’s feeling vulnerable. He’ll kiss your forehead or play with your hair.

Dazai would raise his daughter to be independent. He’ll often praise her when she tries to solve problems on her own, even if it’s just something as small as putting her toys away. He wants her to grow up capable, strong enough so a man doesn't need to provide for her (even if shes an adult, dazai will never approve of a man with her)

Though Dazai is laid-back around you, once his daughter starts showing affection to other male figures, whether it's an innocent crush or just bonding with a friend, he’ll get hilariously overprotective. You’d have to reassure him that his little girl isn’t going anywhere 😭🙏🏼

He has a habit of giving his daughter cute nicknames, princess, my little girl, my little princess!

Dazai occasionally fears that he won’t be a good father because of his past and the world he’s still involved in. But you remind him that he’s doing his best, and the love he has for both you and his daughter is more than enough to prove he’s a great dad.

Dazai has a hidden soft spot for his family (obviously). You often catch him staring at both of you with a soft, almost melancholic smile, as if he can’t believe he’s found something so pure and worth protecting.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

[freetheshit-outofyou]

I was sent this today. This is one of my former soldiers when I was a Gunny at Fort Hood. This guy had such a chip on his shoulder, so much anger in him. I kept in contact with him after he got out hoping to help him back from the ledge he was standing on. About 6 years ago he calls me going the fuck off about the Columbus VA, how they don't give a shit about Veterans and they are killing all of them. Just off the wall shit. He had called me before screaming about this or that but never made a specific threat, this time was different. This time he said he was going to the Columbus VA and "Killing all the niggers!", that was a red flag I could not let fly. Living in Nevada I did not know a direct way to let the Columbus VA know what was up, I called a buddy in the Reno VA who is a VA LEO and he made the calls that needed to be made with in minuets. This put in motion a series of things all at once. The Columbus VA went into a higher security posture, local police were sent to dudes house and questions were asked. Of course my phone started to blow up. Fast forward several years I start getting calls and Facebook messages from both this guy and his dad, I blocked all of them. About 10 months ago a messages is left on my phone by his dad asking if I would be a charter witness for his son in an upcoming trail. At the time I did not know what it was for, turned out it was a home invasion and kidnaping case. Why in the fuck would you call the guy who had already called the cops on your kid for making direct threats against people? What could I possibly say..."Yes Henderhan worked for me in the Army, the kid was filled with anger then and that ballooned into rage and racism when he got out. His angary rants made the furthest right or left wing tips seem way closer to the center." There will be no rehab in this case, of that I am sure of. What really scares me is he's going to be locked up with more people like him and when he gets out I'm afraid there will be blood. Some people should not be on the lose.

[holyhomo]

Would you consider Viveka a psychopath or a narcissist? (Undiagnosed obviously)

If so, would that have been passed down to any of her children? Their childhoods probably messed them up so what do they suffer from?

Also, was Freya the one that suggested throwing her kids at nannies and basically being detached from their lives? Did Viveka and Freya condone/look the other way the physical abuse they most likely went through? (i.e poor signe’s ass)

Well, Viveka is loosely based on Norman Bates, from American Psycho. I think that says a lot. Oh and she’s not the one with a substance abuse problem nor is she the one who has treated to kill others. That’s someone else you guys already know in Nightshift Nightmare. But who she is is a MASSIVE spoiler for a upcoming arc.

As for their children, they inherited some traits of Viveka (and obviously her appearance), but it’s only mindset and traits, no actual mental illnesses.

That said, they all definitely have mental health issues.

They all have self esteem issues, but besides that their issues vary.

Gunhildr suffers from dysthymia, PTSD and used to suffer from ODD and severe suicidal ideations. She was also an alcoholic, but stopped drinking pretty much completely after she went through the traumatic event that caused her PTSD. I’ve made some comments that could make it possible to figure out what happened, but I’ll share that it happened two years ago in the story.

Ragna doesn’t have narrsitric personality disorder, but does have some traits of it, though that has been going well since she started therapy. She tends to be overstressed and is the type to just drag herself through a burnout even though she suffers even more from doing so.

Ylva suffered from depression and anxiety, but that’s been going very well lately. She also had a lot of trouble forming healthy relationships. She’s also mentioned to have some minor substance abuse issues, she basically starts drinking and smoking when she gets stressed and depressed.

Signe has major relationship related issues and has severe trouble forming healthy romantic relationships with others. Besides that she has a learning disorder but I never really settled on what kind specifically.

Sigird has severe Atychiphobia (fear of failure) and some serious narcissistic traits very similar to her father.

Other characters also have mental health issues. From Eira’s obvious anxiety disorder and stuttering, to Iris also suffering from PTSD due to the same event as what caused Gunhildr’s PTSD.

Another character that I won’t spoil, suffers from Othello Syndrome, also known as Pathological jealousy. This is the same character as the one mentioned to have a substance abuse problem and who has treated to kill others.

As for the nannies… I need to be careful not to spoil something here…

So it was mainly a necessity. Viveka did fucking nothing regarding raising their kids besides trying to groom initially Gunhildr and then Ragna to be the heir by having them study hours on end.

Until the twins they just had general house help for the children, but after the twins, nannies became an absolute necessity. Each of the sisters had their own nanny looking after them, but it depended on their age how much said nanny would take care of them.

Gunhildr’s and Ragna’s nannies were also their governess/tutors.

Ylva had the only actually nice and caring nanny, though Ragna’s and Sigird’s weren’t too bad either. Gunhildr’s was just super scared of the rage fueled young Gunni. And well Signe’s… she was just a monster.

Freya did try to intervene, but was unable to actually do anything due to her own condition at the time.

Oh and when Gunhildr left home at 16, it was to study at the same school her father did till she graduated at 18. She was being driven mad at home and acting out even more because of it which caused her father to agree to it.

[mudskip-muses]

‘ 🌲 reverse ‘ - (( okay i saw this and started wheezing... because just- imagine child!Gunnie finding child!Kaz up a gd tree. like the Disaster he is.... because of Course he's in a fucking tree and would refuse to admit that he is scared of getting down jgnjkdgdf ))

send ‘ 🌲 ‘ for your muse to find mine stuck in a tree and unable to get down, or send ‘ 🌲 reverse ‘ for mine to find yours (X) @not-bcring

It had come as a surprise to the young overlord as he walked the outskirts of the playground, seeking whatever creatures he could find while time allowed, to find a person up in a tree instead of a squirrel when he heard the branches creak. Grey eyes trailed up from tree bark to dingy sneakers until they hit they face of his friend, Gundham looked concerned perplexed at the sight of Kazuichi so far above him.

"...Why are you up there?" Then a frown, the little overlord of ice's fists clenching at the fabric of his scarf. "Was it those fiends again?" Neither of them could ever catch a break from bullies it seemed. "I will smite them where they stand!" It was comical to watch such a little thing be filled with such overdramatic rage, only for it to disappear a moment later when he realized Kazuichi wasn't coming down now that all seemed safe now that Gundham was there. "Are you...stuck?" A sinister little smile, Gundham not one to tease his friend like the others in their class, but still amused with the situation at hand. "It's okay if you are, I can help." He still cared for his friend though, no matter how much he laughed at Kaz's antics.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

Series of snippets from a conversation with @filamints and @bellygunnr

Mr Mints came up with the idea and Gunny wrote the 1st and 4th parts, and I wrote the middle.

-

The menu isn't supposed to be familiar. But Roland leaps at the chance to choose, even if it's something just to include him, even humor him. He knows he's taxing the neural implant buried in the Captain's brain but--

He can't help it. The two words, supplemented by an image and a short description, stitch something together in his threads that he can't just force away.

He senses that the Captain is choking back tears, forcing the Commander to order for them-- aided by hasty gesturing. Roland lets his awareness dwindle away.

All he can think about is shepherd's pie and how it tasted before he-- someone-- took to the skies.

-

It was weird that he chose that dish almost automatically, the captain's eyes catching on the name and something deep in Roland's matrix resonated. He tries to play it off, chatting with the captain and commander as they wait for food and drinks, commenting on the new point of view, the limited sights, the new perspective and sounds. They fiddle with the napkin, tactile feedback smoothing the material against the table and Lasky lets Roland jiggle his leg.

He's nervous but excited, it's new and not, vague memories flash across their minds' eye, both unsure who's the source. The dull roar of the dinner rush, silverware clinking on plates, the dimmed lighting, smell of fresh hot food.

Palmer gently touches their hand, bringing them back and they look at the mirrored wall of the booth. The captain has a faraway look in his eye, they look like they're not all there. The commander's hand is warm and squeezing theirs, she's about to say something when their server returns with the food.

Plates of dishes litter Palmer's side of the table, since Lasky's paying, and then Roland's order is placed in front of them. He smiles and thanks the server, reveling in the returned 'you're welcome' and eye contact, before turning his attention to the plate. The smell making their stomach rumble. Lasky's stomach rumble, Roland's just a guest. He's getting over-excited about this chance to eat and he isn't entirely sure why.

It's picture perfect, which is weird because he always got the crust wrong but- No. What? Lasky's had shepherd's pie before but not in a while and it was some cafeteria on some base, not the homemade image in their head. The questions are only building, and he-they pick up his-their spoon and shove a bite into his mouth. It's hot and comforting and tastes like home.

"Tom? Roland? Are you okay?" Palmer is looking at him, worry clear on her face. They blink and feel the hot tears dripping down their cheeks. The spoon clatters on the plate as he scrubs his face with their napkin. Embarrassment curls through them and Lasky's trying to comfort Roland in his own head.

It's not Roland's head, or even his memories, just an echo of someone long dead now. It's too much. He was already pushing it by being this deep in the captain's CNI and the emotional overload is taking its toll on both of them. Roland feels trapped and scared and Lasky is worried and in pain? Blood is dripping from his nose and his pupils are dilated as they look again into the mirror next to them.

Roland apologizes profusely, hands fluttering uselessly before he withdraws into himself, tucking threads and packets up tight and slinking out of Lasky's head while Palmer gets him to drink some water and dabs at the nosebleed.

His cameras catch their worried looks, but he's too far gone to respond in anyway. The dumb ai and sub-processes can run the rest, he needs to think.

-

Miller would say what he's doing is moping, but Roland is actually very productive being both extremely aware of everything happening on the ship and incredibly out of it as new information is processed at a near human speed. Strands of data and pings reach him at an almost worrying speed and he reads it twice to retain it.

He can feel himself weighed down, emotions taxing his matrix, threads dissolving without his permission. It takes him too many times restarting processes that he wants to give up and powercycle the entire section he's working on. Which would be bad because it's navigation.

It'd also draw a lot of attention and he doesn't need that. He fucked up. Roland mentioned a too human desire, convinced Lasky and Palmer to go along with it, then freaked out when something dormant deep in his code that he didn't want to name woke up and what's worse is that he hurt his captain.

Lasky was bleeding from the strain his episode caused. This was bad. Roland had a good record but it wasn't exactly clean. A little digging would show the things he'd done, behaviors he'd exhibited, the strain he'd been under. Not even halfway through his lifetime and he's already made such a mess.

It's only luck and Lasky's own kindness that he hasn't been -- No. That's illogical. Captain Lasky is a great captain and Roland's done a fine job with his station. Maybe he wouldn't have lasted under Del Rio but.

Roland silences those threads, stopping those worrying parts of himself from continuing to spiral down different logic trees and what if situations.

He's so wrapped up in his own processes that he doesn't realize Palmer is calling his name. Panic floods his circuits, sparking and shorting out all thoughts but the worst case scenarios that haven't left his mind. He wants to sink down and disappear but protocol won't let him, he needs to answer, they deserve that at the very least. He needs to answer them.

Palmer's in her room, with Lasky sitting in her chair. He looks tired, eyes drifting from Palmer to Roland's holodisk. They both look stressed. Roland reads their biometric data automatically, cameras taking in the tightness around their eyes, raised heart rate and blood pressure and their NI's are --

No. He can't. He won't. Not if he might hurt them again. Not if he feels too close to something else, something he's not.  He hopes it doesn't hurt.

"Yes, Spartan?" He modulates his voice well, he thinks, but there's surprise on her face at his response. He hasn't deployed his avatar, right now he's just a voice from the speaker on the wall.

"Are you...alright?" She's fighting to keep her tone calm and even, arms crossed and feet planted. He can read her so well after so many hours working together. It hurts. He knows it's coming but he still can't help but try.

"I'm operating nominally, Commander." Not quite a lie, but close enough that it could be used against him. Still he wants to wipe the worry off her face. Lasky's frowning becomes more pronounced and they share a look.

For all the data he's collected, all the tells he knows, all of his vast memory dedicated to these two, he still has a hard time fully understanding the silent conversations Palmer and Lasky can hold. 

- 

Operating nominally, Sarah mouths, and Roland recognizes her expression as derisive. She rolls her eyes and leans forward, bracing her arms across the Captain's desk, head angled for one of the cameras up high.

"I'm sure the Infinity is running fine," she says. "But you're not, and we're not stupid. Do I need to bring up the crew dossier? How about Command, page six, article B?"

Roland feels a tremor of shock and confusion pulse through his matrix, stalling some of his processes.

"Roland is the shipboard AI and is to be respected as one of the Infinity's commanding officers. His words are to be held to the same weight as the Captain's," she recites. "But regardless of that-- if you think we're going to punish you, or that we're going to fall for your emotionless AI act-- I'm going to beat your ass."

Static filters out from the speakers. He hastily deploys himself onto the holodeck in the room, the confusion and surprise hardly simulated on his avatar's expression.

[zachbiller]

when casey kasem almost shot doc bryan

when casey kasem and encino man insisted that a bunch of far away rocks were enemy soldiers hiding, sent a team out to do some recon, only to discover that they are in fact just far away rocks

brad always looking out for the health of his guys, asking trombley if his piss is clear … “[…] Trombley, whom Colbert has relentlessly pestered about drinking enough water to maintain clear urine” (explored a bit in the series also, asking if trombley if he’s gone to the bathroom before they step off, making sure walt gets sleep, etc.) and additionally: “Through the heightened alert, Colbert spends the night calming his team.”

bradray scene: “At times, the two of them bicker like an old married couple. Being a rank lower than Colbert, Person can never directly express anger to him, but on occasions when Colbert is too harsh and Person’s feelings are hurt, his driving becomes erratic […] It will happen even in combat situations, with Colbert suddenly in the role of wooing his driver back with retractions and apologies.”

“Unlike the men in Second Platoon who universally respect, if not adore their commander Lt. Fick […]” 🥺

the men in third platoon talking about how they wished captain america would die 😭

evan wright talking about how weird trombley is but also mentioning how he silently does little helpful things for his team (going out of his way to refill their water, also briefly mentioned in the series in a different context)

the part mentioning that brad’s dad was an architect and he grew up in a chic 70’s style house with one of those “conversation pits” in his living room with a shag carpet (idk why this is so funny to me)

once brad and poke became besties brad pulled strings to get poke into recon (“Even though Espera is not yet a Recon Marine, Colbert pulled strings to bring him into the elite battalion to serve as his assistant team leader.”)

wright describing pappy’s appearance as “kindly” and “almost hangdog” and mentioning that he has a soft voice (i have no idea what the real shawn patrick looks like, but judging from this description they chose the perfect person to play him in the series)

gunny wynn being upset about other marine casualties when nobody else seems to care

wright repeatedly mentioning that nate has no fucking idea why they are ordered to do what they’re ordered to do or what is going to happen when they do it (not his fault!!!! command sucks!!!!!)

“After his briefing, Fick does what he often does in a difficult situation: He turns to Colbert for advice.”

in early chapters evan wright talks about the men and himself in brad’s vehicle and calls them “colberts team” and then later on switches to just referring to them as “we” and referring to the entire platoon as “us”

“After fifteen minutes of solid tension inside the Humvee, Person cannot repress the urge to make a goofy remark. He turns to Colbert, smiling. "Hey, you think I have enough driving hours now to get my Humvee license?”“

pappy saying he gets hard when he sees cobra’s overhead

"Colbert can’t get over the lush greenery of the palm groves and fields around us. After two months in the desert, it’s jarring to suddenly have arrived in Mesopotamia’s fertile surroundings on the outskirts of the Garden of Eden. Even as Marine artillery rounds blow it to smithereens, Colbert keeps repeating, "Look at these fucking trees.”“

"stand by for shit to get stupid” - ray person

bryan patterson, when asked about his opinion of the war: “war sucks”

basically the reason patterson’s men respect him so much is because he doesn’t take his job too seriously (unlike you all know who) and he knows that they would be just fine without him

wright describing sixta’s job as “to be sort of a professional dickhead.”

a scene in which evan wright finds himself in the middle of heavy gunfire he says he didn’t feel scared, not because of the “adolescent sense of invulnerability” that help most of the marines to not be afraid (explored a little with trombley in the series) but because of always having lived in self denial (then he goes into detail about how he’s even done group therapy because of it 😭)

pappy telling evan wright that he doesn’t care about “getting some” the way a lot of marines do, that he just wants to be there to help

“As mortars continue to explode around us, I watch Garza pick through an MRE. He takes out a packet of Charms candies and hurls it into the gunfire.”

the part where ray mockingly reads out an entry from another marine’s diary was an actual diary entry from a marine called cody scott (though i do not know if ray person actually stole it and read it out loud)

trombley repeatedly trying to eat charms without brad finding out

wright describing brad’s smile: “His whole face shines, almost like there’s a halo around him.”

this scene after bravo makes it through al gharraf: “When the platoon stops at its resting point in the broad, open desert, Marines jump out and embrace one another. Even Colbert becomes emotional, running across the sand, lunging into Reyes and giving him a bear hug.”

the part where trombley brings qtip back his “shitter”, the book describes qtip as on the verge of tears rather than angry, trombley realizes this and offers to try to clean it off for him

meesh is apparently only 19 years old

a line under a picture of nate fick: “Lt. Nathaniel Fick, who would challenge his commander but never break faith with his men […]”

“Gunny Wynn chuckles, beaming with a sort of fatherly pride.”

casey kasem bragging to wright about trying to get nate and gunny wynn fired

“Fick walks up, grinning. Even loaded down with his vest, flak jacket and bulky chemical-protection suit, he displays his characteristic bouncing stride.”

wright being mesmerized by the way marines eat instant coffee crystals and cool aid mixes straight out of their packaging (instead of mixing them with water and drinking them)

“Walter Hasser, […] is one of the most well-liked Marines in the platoon.”

all the men of captain america’s platoon looking to kocher as their leader instead of captain america

“shut up, white boy, and go eat a baloney sandwich” -poke (to brad)

when wright is awoken by rockets and artillery exploding a few hundred meters in front of the sleeping platoon, wakes ray up to ask about it, ray assures him it’s just danger close and goes back to sleep, then the next day nate tells them it was an enemy artillery strike that just happened to be a few yards off

“During one halt, Colbert’s team is completely distracted by several water buffalo bathing on the banks of the canal.”

walt getting fed up with the mark-19 jamming constantly, screaming about it, brad yelling at him to stop losing control of his emotions, then brad immediately apologizing for yelling at him

“The close relationship shared by Reyes and Pappy is between two men who are complete opposites. While Reyes has so much bubbly effervescence that he manages to be flamboyant even in his MOPP suit, Pappy is a rangy, quintessentially laconic Southern man raised in a churchgoing, Baptist family in Lincolntown, North Carolina, a mountain town of a few thousand souls. Pappy jokingly describes himself as “your normal North Carolina loser,” and says he’d barely ever met a Mexican before joining the Corps. Now Reyes is not just one of his best friends but his assistant team leader, his spotter when sniping, his second in battle. Reyes quips that their relationship is like that of “husband and wife.” After Reyes finishes shaving him, he nudges Pappy’s head to the side for a close inspection and pronounces, “Looking like a warrior, Pappy.””

“Fick’s own coping machanism for combat is what he calls the "Dead Man Walking Method.” Instead of reassuring himself, as some do, that he’s invincible or that his fate is in God’s hands (which wouldn’t work for him since he leans toward agnosticism), he operates on the assumption that he’s already a dead man, so getting shot makes no difference.“ (nate, pls)

"In the heat of battle, [Person’s] Missouri accent comes out extra hick.”

evan wright being amazed at trombley falling in the sleep in the middle of everything constantly

after pappy gets shot in the foot … “"I should be thankful Pappy wasn’t hit worse,” [Reyes] says. “Instead I’m feeling sorry for myself because I already miss him so badly. I don’t like being here without him at my side. It’s like I’m missing a piece of my body.”“ (🥺🥺)

"Having watched [Brad] cry a few days ago after the shooting of the shepherd, I suspect it’s not always easy being the Iceman.”

walt saying his hero is johnny cash

brad talking about how hearing country music makes him physically ill, but making an exception to his no country music rule because walt has a “beautiful country singing voice”

“Despite his Iceman reputation, Colbert doesn’t hide his feelings very well.”

the only time brad’s first name is mentioned is by ray person, who points out to him some ducks fucking on the side of the road

the only time ray’s first name is mentioned is by brad while reprimanding him for singing country music (again)

walt and ray joking about writing and releasing a country album together

nate saying the cigarette factory they stay in is “pretty safe” and then seconds later there’s a firefight outside the main gate

poke talking about how much he loves his wife and how his favourite author is kurt vonnegut

the afterword mentioning lovell and doc bryan live near each other and remain good friends that see each other every week

[hopscotchandlemon]

Bringing Us Together - 2

Fandom  - NCIS

Words 1218

OFC/Gibbs/Jack

TW Grief/Bereavement

‘Can I call someone for you?’

It took a few minutes for their words to penetrate your brain. You doubt you’d heard half of what Heidi, the well-meaning social worker had said to you over the last hour. The only thought that kept going around you mind was you couldn’t believe it; he was dead.

Your dad was dead.

As you slowly started to process what they were saying, you couldn’t think of anyone they could call. When your mum had been taken to the psychiatric hospital all those years ago, many so-called friends had disappeared. It had been just you and your dad for so long and he’d been your everything, trying to make up for your mom not being able to mother you like she should have.

‘I don’t know,’ you’d replied.

‘Did your dad have an address book or something? Maybe that will let you remember people who might be able to help?’

It was better than any idea you could come up with. You went to your dad’s desk and pulled out his old-battered address book. You started flicking though the pages. There were so many entries scored out and your dad had meticulously written the reason for them being scrubbed out next to their entry, telling you what year some of them had died or he’d decided not to speak to them. Then, you reached the entry that might just save you from this.

Gibbs, Leroy Jethro (Gunny).

‘Yes, Gibbs!’ you exclaimed with as much energy as you could muster.

‘Oh ok. Is he a relation or….?’

‘He’s my godfather, he was a Marine with my dad,’ you explained.

‘When did you last see him?’

‘A couple of years ago just after my mom went to hospital. He came by and helped out for a few days.’

‘Ok, well that’s promising. Tell you what, why don’t you go put together a few things and I’ll give this guy a call, see what’s what.’

You nodded and slowly got up and moped to your bedroom. This social worker was so different from those you’d dealt with before, the one’s who were meant to be helping your mom when she first became ill. Grabbing a bag from the cupboard, you gather some clothes and toiletries. Everything felt unreal, like it was happening to something else. You sat on your bed and stared at the photo of you with your parents. You could remember that day so clearly, a trip to the county fair. Your eyes were as wide as your smile in the photo and you wondered how many sweets you’d had at that point. You’d have been 8 years old. Your mother had a far-away look in her eyes, she’d just returned home after her first stint at the psychiatric hospital. She was on a heady cocktail of medication to quell the voices she heard. Your dad just looked so happy to have you both with him. It was hard to comprehend how so much hand changed since then.

‘How are you doing honey?’ Heidi appeared at the door to your room.

Still with your eyes set on the photo, you shrugged

‘Your man Gibbs will be here in about half an hour. Apparently, he’s in the area.’

‘He is?’ you enquired. You knew Gibbs was from Pennsylvania, but he lived in DC now.

‘Yeah, he didn’t really elaborate. I’m guessing he’s a man of few words.’

Heidi helped you pack the rest of your things while reassuring you that it wouldn’t be the last time you saw the house, so you didn’t have to take everything you wanted to keep. You opted to wait in the backyard, the gentle sunlight warming your skin as you sat on the bench your dad had built. There was a lifetime of memories contained in this yard and you found yourself replaying them, not noticing you’d be joined on the bench by familiar face. Gibbs brushed your arm gently, trying to gently warn you of his presence without scaring you. Looking up you gave him a half smile and he wrapped his arm around you, surrounding you in a protective veil. He may not have visited often, but you had the best time when Gibbs came to stay. When your mum was poorly and your dad needed to spend most of his time with her, he’d taken you rambling, ending the day with a campfire that he’d taught you how to make and marshmallows you toasted on the flames that licked the darkening sky.

‘You ready to go?’

Letting out a loud sigh you nodded your head and stood yourself up. Your godfather put a protective arm on your shoulder and let you lead the way to the front door where Heidi was waiting with your bag.

‘I’ll be in touch soon. Take a few days to get yourself sorted. If you need me, you got my number,’ Heidi reached out and rubbed your arm.

Yeah, ok. Thanks.’

As you walked towards the car, you noticed a blonde-haired woman stood next to it.

“Y/N, this is Jack. She’s my friend.”

Offering a small smile, Jack said hello and you all got into the car. The journey to DC was quiet. Uncle Gibbs had never been one for small talk but the silence around him was never imposing or frightening but rather soft and comforting. Jack didn’t really say much, just asked if you needed anything and to discuss what takeaway they should get. When you arrived at his house, you vaguely remembered visiting when you were much younger. To your surprise, the interior was just as you remembered it. Jack laid out the takeaway on the table.

“I know you probably don’t feel like eating. But give it a try,” Jack had said warmly, inviting to take a chair at the table.

So you did and you felt better for it. While it was not much, it was more than you’d managed in the last few days. It was enough for your Godfather relax his furrowed brow. He made you up the spare room and left you to get settled in. It was a strange feeling, you didn’t know how long this was going to be your home, whether he would want responsibility for a fifteen-year-old. Your brain was scrolling through the endless possibilities. In amongst it all, something would remind you about your dad and the tears would fall.

A light tapping at the bedroom door had you wiping the tears from your eyes.

“Hi,” you offered weekly.

The door gently opened and Jack took a step in. She saw your red eyes and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I just wanted to check how you were doing. Must be hard being pulled from everything familiar at a time like this. I’m going to go home now, but if you need to talk, I’ll be back tomorrow. And while Gibbs isn’t much of a talker, he’s a good listener. Try to at least check in with him before you go to bed, he’s worried about you.”

You nodded, you had happy memories of spending time with your godfather. Although it was hard to recall that happiness because right now it hurt to remember.

Jack said her goodbyes and left you to the rest of your evening.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

[dannyboyzone]

Hi~ could I request gun as a boyfriend hc? Thank you!!

Sexc gangster boyfriend ٩(^▿^)۶

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Gunnie as a bf headcanon ⋆* 🍭 ⁺⑅

- First of all, this boy is going to spoil you. It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not, he will spoil you.

- Also, he is very straight up about liking you. He probably wouldn't give up until you go out with him or he falls out of love with you. - That can take years though, I am just saying. -

- Respect is his top priority though, so he would never cross your boundaries. Just love you in unexpected ways. Like help you, either boldly or from the shadows. It all depends on what he knows you are comfortable with.

- If you are a family person, he would ask permission from your parents to date you. If that's not necessary, he would at least introduce himself and bring presents. If you hate your family - Oh well, he will hate them with you if you have a reasonable motive.

- It's not that he isn't willing to take it slow, but if he wants something he wants you now. If you prefer to take it slow, he would be fine with that as long as you don't play with him. Trust me, just don't waste his time.

- Now, finally, let's get into when he is actually in a relationship with you! First of all; His love language is act or service and gifting people. So except to be spoiled rotten like the brat of a rich white dude. Expect Gun is like, 100-million times cooler.

- He would never overwhelm you or spoil you to a point you can't be independent. Actually, he would really love if you are independent, at least in a few things in your life.

- You two would also be a power couple, trust me. Gun can't have a chemistry with anybody, so the fact that you two get along so well would make you guys very intimidating yet... cool/hot.

- A favourite thing of his would be matching outfits. Don't get me wrong, not those ones that match to 100%. He is a fan of those that fit your respective - ? - bodies and have the same style and colour coordination. Gun would just feel closer to you that way.

- I think he would also love making cute little things for you, like jewellery or a dress. Depends on your interests and his time.

- He isn't all soft though, if he fights you have to learn some too. Gun is aware how dangerous his job is, and would like you to know at least a bit of how to defend yourself because he wouldn't want you to get hurt.

- That said, I think he would love to teach you. Especially things he is good at, so you two will have more in common.

- Don't be scared of hurting him though, as you know this is Gun. He won't budge to the pain, maybe he would even call you weak playfully. Or not.

- He wouldn't be the person to be shy around you, like at all. He will always be straightforward and dominant, so if you want him to get shy you will have to get creative.

- There is something he would find beautiful though, you in your underwear. Not necessarily in a sexual way, he would just love adoring your body. The type of underwear you wear wouldn't matter much.

- Talking about that, if he loves you everyone would know. It's not like he is a hyper person about it, but he would be unable to hide his adoration. There would be some kind of crazed look in his eyes that screams that he is proud and possessive of you.

- He would literally do anything for you as long as it doesn't include sharing you with someone.

- Yeah, you will also be treated like you are from the heavens, you would have a comfortable and elegant life with him.

- Though, simple things would be a part of your relationship too. Going on picnics, watching old bad movies, discussing things while taking a walk. Each minute you two would spend together would have value to them.

- This boy would have a habit of stroking your back, relaxing you and drawing things with his finger tip. Especially if you two lay together somewhere.

- Gun is the type of person to love doing a sport activity together outside of fighting. Such as swimming.

- If you can't swim, he sure as hell would love to teach you. It would be an amusing thing for him.

- He is the type of boyfriend that you can be yourself next to, have deep conversations with and still be classy. Mr. Flexible if you will.

Tw - NSFW

- First things first, Gun is a dominant top.

- Gun isn't the type of person to hit you during sex - unless you want him to and you can handle it - however he is the type of person to get very turned on if you cause him some kind of pain. Like, putting a cock lock on him, or something.

- Your masochist boy would absolutely love foreplay, he would think it's an incredible important part of sex. Sometimes the foreplay would be arguments. Aka, he would love make up sex.

- However he would absolutely never force you to anything. Gun isn't the type to have ferishes - ? - so he would be fine if you don't feel comfortable with something.

- Also! He would love to try out new things. Well, as long as it doesn't involve anything with feet or unhygienic things.

- I don't think he would be willing to do it in open public places, but would be fine with doing it at closed public places where the risks of getting caught are very low. He would still prefer the desk in his home office or perhaps living room.

- He loves receiving heads, doesn't like giving them. If he finds you incredibly beautiful though, he would never say no to it.

- There are few things he would hate. If you ask to watch porn together, smoke during any sexual act or talk with someone else during it. He would also voice them, but in a healthy way.

- Gun is kinky, but has limits and rules. One of his rules is to always make you cum before himself.

- He might sound a bit tense and narrow minded, but he isn't. Gun is flexible and almost like a God in bed.

- It doesn't matter if you are similar to him or not, he would always make you scream with pleasure. - Though, if you ever plan to have sexual interactions with someone, please make sure you both consent and have a lot similarities. -

- On some days, he might just want to make love though. Especially when he feels vulnerable, he wouldn't say a word and just let soft music play in the background.

[bravo-four-seal-team]

Demons and Help?||Part 1/2

Co-written/Proof read: @disasterfandoms

Summary: Ashley is finally in Virginia, battling her own Demons, what could go wrong with being out at 5am? She did not expect to run in to the people or person she’s been trying to avoid A/N: Trigger warnings added, torture mention, blood mention, argument, captivity mention. (yes I know its early in the morning)

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

“Tell me why you are in my country,” the figure asks, slowly walking around the area she was hanging from.

“For the view,” Ashley smirked, spitting blood to the floor, head snapping to the side as a hand connected hard with her cheek.

 “Get the wires,” the figure smirked as another two men moved in. She knew it was a battery; she’d been through this for the past two days. “I give you one more chance to tell me,” the figure said.

 Ashley spat in his face. “Bite me,” she snapped. 

The next few minutes were agony. She screamed as the wires came into contact with her skin, leaving behind marks of where they were being placed. Wheezing when it finally ended, “Get her down” the voice snapped, her arms unhooked from above her, the pain shooting through her shoulder, she was dragged over to a tub head shoved under, again and again, each time she struggled, causing her to swallow more water. She would be held as she was repeatedly struck in the stomach, then her head shoved back under the water. 

“She want to play savior, then we let her,” the figure laughed, selecting the whip on the table, the light reflecting off the metal shards in the leather. Ashley tried to break free as the whip was brought closer to her. Hands gripped her, holding her in place on her knees as the weapon came down on her back. She bit down on her lip, trying not to scream. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, her blood beginning to stain her back as the metal did its job in taking chunks out of her back. Eventually, she was thrown back into the small dark room, her hands bound. 

Ashley woke with a jump, soaked in sweat, shaking, and breathing hard. The ticking of the clock seemed so loud. At 5 am, she was trying to calm herself down. The shaking began to subside, breathing calmed. She was back in Virginia, hiding out in her apartment, staring at the ceiling, her neighbors arguing again, something smashing against the wall. She kept replaying everything, she got Trent’s email, but she never opened it, too scared to see the ‘Don’t contact me again’ in the main body.

The notification there on her phone and laptop haunted her, beeping every so often to say she had something unread in her inbox. Sighing, she swung her legs off the couch, getting up, looking about the table, beer cans lying around. That made more sense. It has been two months since the email. Nightmares plagued her, but she was clear for deploying again; the next place would be the Philippines, on base, helping training, nothing too serious. 

It took time for her to get ready. She was still stiff, pulling her shirt off the mirror, catching a reflection of the scars littering her back, still healing, slowly, eventually, she got washed, wrapped fresh bandages around herself then dressed in her civvies, grabbing her baseball cap, glaring at herself in the mirror. Her lip was stitched, that picture stuck in the corner of her brother and her, before she went off for her first deployment, quickly turning and grabbing her keys then leaving, door slamming behind her. 

Food shopping for the next few days...no coffee, coffee first. She had returned yesterday, finally clear to fly home correctly, so didn’t have any food in the apartment, part of deploying, get rid of food that would spoil, she never saw the point of even buying any personal items, the place came with a sofa and bed anyway, along with a TV, all she needed to do pay the bills and rent and buy food. 

“You know what, Trent, Fuck you! All you see is what she wants you to!” 

“Ashley, you are out of line.” 

“I thought you learned from the first one! Look what happened! Every single time I try to get to know them! They pull this shit!” 

“Ashley C Sawyer! Enough!” 

“No! You always believe what they feed you! Just like the first one, this one is spinning lies!”

“Are you shitting me? Watch where you are going, asshole!” Ashley snapped, eyes narrowed at the man who walked into her. 

“What did you say bitch” he snarled.

 “You hard of hearing or what?” Ashley countered, squaring up to the taller man, not in the mood to deal with anyone. 

The man huffed and walked away, grumbling about psychopaths. 

“Don’t even bother contacting me until you learn to grow up!”

“Oh, come on! You're gonna support her?! After what she just said?” 

“Get the hell out of my life.”

“I’d rather die than be in your life, Trent. Good to know my brother doesn't even have my back!”

“Get the hell out!” 

Pushing the door open to a small coffee shop, walking over to the counter, the Barista smiling and greeting her. “What can I get you?” the woman asked. 

 Ashley sighed “large, strong coffee with cream,” she said, getting her wallet out of her coat pocket, handing the money over. “Keep the change for whoever does not have enough to get something,” she stated; it was usual for her to say this as she took the to-go cup and left. 

Phone beeping again, that unread email haunting her still and walking along the street thinking about what she needed to get. It was quiet. She was glad; no one was around this early in the morning. She could hear footsteps behind her. She went on full alert, moving to the side to let the person go. 

As they ran by, she heard “Thanks!” being called back to her.

“Yeah, no problem,” she muttered, never looking up. Moving to continue to where she was going to go, she didn’t know where but walking around aimlessly customarily worked. 

“Sawyer, you good?”

“I’m fine, Cole.”

“He responded, are you going to open it?”

“Knowing him, he’d respond to tell me how much Bullshit I spouted and to keep away from him.” 

“You don't know that. People change.”

“Cole, keep out of this” 

“You can’t avoid it forever. Better to open it at some point.”

“Better to ignore it than being crushed, Gunny.”

She walked down the street, hearing a couple up ahead, someone complaining about night shifts, the man chuckling, she couldn’t make out what he said, but again she stepped to the side, allowing them to go past.

What she did not expect to hear was the woman to speak up and say, “Ash?” her stomach dropped, head hung low, she couldn’t do this, trying to focus on not shaking, trying to hide her face. It was too early for this.

 “Ashley,” that was Trent, now she needed to get out of there. 

Why of all the days did it need to be the one morning she was dealing with her things?

“You look like hell,” Amelia said. “Are you okay?” she asked, and Ashley snorted. Was she okay? Three months in hell, now seeing the people she was trying to avoid for the majority of her life? No, she wasn’t okay. She was in a literal nightmare. 

“Fine, just tryna get to the base,” Ashley lied with ease, glancing at the two. Trent still was not saying anything; he kept his expression neutral. He was trying to think what to say. He hadn’t received a response. He could see the way she held herself; he knows pain; he knows that haunted look she has all too well. 

“Sorry, I ugh, gotta meet Cole for target practice,” Ashley mumbled, moving around them quickly. She needed to make sure she got away from them. Her chest was tight, her head hurt. She stumbled around a corner, making her way to a bench and sitting down, setting the coffee on the ground and leaning forward, head going between her knees, trying to calm herself down.

Trent had walked Amelia back to her apartment, with her telling him to talk to her and something was off. He agreed with her, not wanting to argue, memories of their previous fight still in his mind. He did not want to be on Amelia's wrong side again. 

He walked back towards where they had seen Ash and then proceeded towards the way she had taken off. Glancing at the time, 6:30 am, which meant it would still be quiet. Walking the quiet streets, it wasn’t long before he located her. It was clear she had just got herself down from a panic attack, so he didn’t want to spook her.

 “Ashley,” he called out. If she had reacted any quicker, she would have got whiplash. 

“You good?” He asked, walking over. Ashley could be what many described as a deer caught in headlights. “Mind if I sit?” 

Ashley shrugged, trying not to react. This is the one thing she wanted to avoid, looking ahead as Trent sat beside her. “Didn’t read it, did you?” he asked quietly, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward slightly.

 “Didn’t have to, knew what it would say,” she whispered back. 

“What would that be?”

“To keep away from you, people you know, and your life.” 

He supposed he deserved that response; the argument was ugly. When things came to light about what happened, a year later, when wife 2 wanted a divorce, it was too late to repair anything. 

“Ash, it never said that,” he says, looking out across the park. “You were one of them... one of the Marines captive?” he says, not getting a response. “Whole base heard about it; no names are given out to anyone not in the Marines. I was deployed at the time. Our base was chaos. The Marines on base were talking, whispering about what happened,” he sighs, “I expected to hear on the news you were dead,” he said calmly. 

“That makes your life easier?” Ashley says, voice going cold, fist-clenching on her lap. 

“No.” he sighed. “Would make life a lot harder. I got back from a spin up, lost a brother, then a few days later, you emailed.  All I could think was that it was a joke, realized it wasn't.  Amelia and I argued about it.”

“Why are you here?” She snaps; looking at him, he could see the extent of damage to her face. Her black eye is still healing from having her nose broken and set correctly, along with stitches and minor cuts littering her face.

 “To make sure my baby sister is okay. If you had read the email, you would have seen me offering to meet you at the airport, along with wanting to help with your recovery-”

“I don’t need your help; done fine without it.” 

Trent stood up, Ashley mentally preparing herself to walk away again, only for him to kneel in front of her. “What happened in the past happened, okay? We both said things we regret. I'm here now to help, and I can guarantee that Ames will help out as well,” he said, watching her reaction. “Got time for coffee, and I can wrap those wounds properly.” 

Of course, he’d notice when someone hadn’t correctly changed dressings or wrapped their wounds properly. He deals with Bravo and them not treating injuries properly daily, so it was easy to spot. He was grateful it was warmer than it had been the past few days, so being outside for this long, he didn’t mind.

“I’ll pass, thanks,” Ashley muttered, pulling her sleeves down. “Look, I’m not...I ain’t expecting you to play big brother Trent, or give a damn,” she muttered, tugging her cap down to try and hide her face more. She was not in the mood to be poked, prodded, or questioned.

“I don't need to play it when it's my job.” he states with a frown, “Come on, get up,” he said, carefully getting her up. “You look like shit. Have you been sleeping?”

“This is just my face, Trent.”

“You look exhausted. You’ll come back to mine. I can check those wounds, then you can grab some sleep after you take painkillers,” He said, frowning. 

“Hell no, you aren't!” Ashley stated, her eyes going wide. “Not happening at all! No way,” she said, not moving from her spot. Shaking her head, she did not want anyone near the wounds on her back. She would keep those as quiet as she could. The look she was getting from her brother was telling her she would need to give him an answer as to why. 

“Look, I just want to go to the range, go home, sleep, and get ready for a deployment in a few weeks, that's it,” she says, binning the cold coffee.

 “Do you want to talk about what happened, Ash?” The SEAL asked, worried that she would end up worse if she shut down more than she already was. He finally got her moving, leading her to his truck. 

“No, I don’t want to talk about it, not with you,” she states. “I got a shrink,” she lied. It was easier than saying, ‘oh yeah, goes from being tortured to you laughing at what happens at me.’

 Ashley fell into a light sleep 5 minutes into the drive. 

The water was dripping on the ground; she’s lying on her side staring at the door. She's tired of fighting. She wants to sleep, but when she sleeps, bad things happen. The metal door opened, men entering with weapons, another one entering and hauling her up, dragging her out. 

Arms being hauled up over her head, the restraints being hooked onto the metal hook hanging from the ceiling. 

“Shall we do this again” the man smiled. 2 months, 25 days, this had been going on. She’d begun learning to keep track of how many times she would be left alone, along with how the temperature dropped in the evening and warmer during mornings. 

“Who are you?” 

She was tired, mumbling “Marine Staff Sergeant Sawyer” everything was blurry. The dim light seemed brighter than anything she had seen. Her senses were being overloaded with different things: light, sound, the smell of decaying flesh. 

“Very good,” the man smirked, looking at the tools on the table. “Why are your people in my country?” he asks, smacking her when she didn’t answer. “I asked you a question!” 

“Dunno,” she muttered “why are we anywhere” she slurred, fighting to keep awake. Her body needed the rest to recover; she caught a glimpse of one of the rookies being dragged in, a gun being held to his head. 

“Shall we try that again?” the man asked, the rookie pleading for his life, but when she didn’t, the gun went off, and the young man fell forward, blood beginning to form a puddle, lifeless eyes staring at her. 

She ended up back in that small room. The dripping, she focused on that, zoning out, the screams of her teammates fading into the background.  

Ashley woke with a jump as Trent turned off the engine. Running a hand over her face, she cleared her throat. Trent chose not to comment on it; he’s seen friends, brothers who suffered from sleepless nights, hell he had them himself, so he knew what it was like.

He still wished she had spoken to him before signing up. He couldn’t figure out why she would even want to join the Navy after seeing the type of injuries that could be sustained. 

They remained quiet, Trent helping his sister inside, telling her to sit on the couch. She did so, the haunted look back in place. He was concerned about that. He wasn’t sure exactly what went down, but the stories circling base were all the same: unit ambushed, multiple dead, three alive. He moved to his office, walking to the shelf where he kept his kit then returning out. “Easier to get this over with, kid,” he states, surprised that she removed her jacket without a fight. “So, you spoke to Amelia a few months back. What do..you think of her?” 

“Don't matter what I think.” 

“Sure it does. You’re normally asking a bunch of questions that I can’t get you to shut up about.”

“That was past me; new me don't give two shits, head down don't ask questions.” 

He was not expecting that response. Quite frankly, he wasn’t expecting her to be so shut down. Starting on her upper arms, he frowned, noticing the burns.

 “Electrical?” he asked; at her nod, he just knew it was going to be worse.

 “They don't like the ones who fight back, Clarkes got off light:  a broken arm, a few broken ribs, was running a fever. Cole had about the same as me, just a bit better. I kept fighting: not giving information, get told not to. In the end, I was just tired.”

Trent made a mental note to speak to Amelia to see if she could spend a few hours with her; get to know Ashley better, see if she would open up more about what happened. “Nightmares keep you awake? It’s normal, you know, you can ask your doctor for some sedatives to get some sleep.” 

“Allergic,” Ashley muttered, “Learnt that one the hard way after being sprung from the confines of hell.” She made a hissing noise, “Ow! Take it easy,” she snapped, jerking her arm away 

“You haven’t been cleaning these, have you?” 

“Medics on base did before we were sent home here,” she grumbled, glaring at the swabs he was using, and whatever the stuff was that was burning the wound, the last person to use that stuff got a broken nose as a reward. 

“Stop being a baby.”

“Or what? Going to tell me to leave and not come back until I grow up?” she grumbled.

Trent stopped and looked up. “That was a low blow kid,” he said but left it; she was in pain. He was 100% sure he would call Amelia after she got a few hours of sleep to come over and help out with this situation. 

The dripping of the kitchen tap is all Ashley could focus on. 

‘He doesn’t hate you, you do know that, right? He told me stories about how you two were when he was still at home. You should reach out to him.’

 That's all Ashley could think about from her conversation with Amelia. She frowned, the last person to probably ever see her alive; she should have listened, should have reached out to her brother; this could be her last moment alive, and she’d die without getting the chance to say sorry. To let him know she didn’t mean what she said. 

As if on cue, the door opened: dragged out, chained, hung, beaten. This time they left her hanging there.

 “He told me he worries he’s going to see your name in the obituaries one day, that he won’t be called when you die. You think if he hates your guts, he would be worried for you?” there was Amelia's voice in her head again, her mind creating an image of the woman leaning against the wall watching her as she spoke. It was like she wasn’t allowed to die in peace; what was so wrong with that? 

Her arms and shoulders were killing her. They trick you into believing you have people who care, keep you fed and hydrated. They did it to Clarkes and Craig, who submitted to their tricks, thinking the men who offered the food were kinder people, but they weren't; they had given their names to them. Their beatings had stopped, but Ashley didn’t fall for their tricks. She’d heard enough about it, questioned SEALs who were on the base during her first few deployments about what not to do. She wasn’t going to let them break her, sure she gave up her rank and second name, but that's all they would get. 

One man came back in. This person was different, new; she had never seen him before, he never spoke. His specialty was using a cattle prod in open wounds, making her scream out in agony. 

“Ashley, I need you to focus on me.” 

Looking around, she couldn’t find the voice. 

“Ashley, you’re ok. Just focus on my voice. It’s safe.”

Trent. 

Blinking, looking confused, “You with me?” she heard Trent ask. He was sitting on her right side now, dealing with the dressings there. She could see the concern in his eyes. She kept silent for a while, not wanting to talk about anything, just happy to be in her brother's presence without a fight hanging over them. She wasn’t sure how long it would last. 

“I called Amelia. She’ll be by in a few hours. Want to tell me where your mind went?” he asked, finishing her right arm. “Need to look at your torso to see what needs to be done,” he calmly explained. 

“I was back there,” she whispered, “I don’t like being there, but I always end up there, or the argument,” She states, not moving at all. “I don't want you seeing Trent. Base Docs can deal with it,” she mumbled, looking away from him.

“I have dealt with all types of injuries, Kid.” He sighs, watching her. This was the reason he never wanted her signing up. “I'm not going to judge,” was all he said, but Ashley shook her head. This was one thing she was determined to hide. Trent decided to leave it for now. “You still take your coffee with a shit load of sugar?” he asked. 

“Strong with Cream, no sugar,” Ashley muttered. “I'm just gonna call a cab head to base.” 

“No, you aren’t. You’re going to sit there or lay down and get some rest. When Amelia arrives, you let her check those wounds you won’t show me,” he stated. Removing the medical gloves and throwing them in the bin, he headed to the sink in the kitchen to wash his hands. “You know which people got you out?” he asks, putting the used medical supplies in the trash along with open packets.

“Marine Unit with a SEAL Team...Alpha think Gunny said,” Ashley was blinking to stay awake. Trent just sighed.

 “Kid, get some rest. We’ll talk about everything once you can keep your eyes open.”  He walked back over, getting her to lay down. He shook his head at the fact she had pretty much passed out, then unfolded the blanket at the back of the couch and placed it over her. He would talk about everything, though right now, he’d need Amelia's advice on it all. 

[wienerbarnes]

The Undercover Mission (3/3)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 1,380

Warnings: still some Lowkey angst but y'all always know there's a good ending ok

A/N: ok promise ill let them live for a bit now and leave them alone w the angst LOL

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

Your father sits in handcuffs in the interrogation room. No one has yet to tell you anything, according to everyone else, you don’t even know that there’s an ongoing case right now. You, once again, snuck down here after hearing that your father was in custody. Only this time, the interrogation room is open.

You turn the knob and step inside, past the two agents guarding the door, and take a seat across from your shackled father.

“Didn’t know there was more questioning to be done; I told Agents Barnes and Carter everything already. I confessed.” He states.

He doesn’t recognize you. Why would he? The last time he saw you, you were a baby.

“There’s not.” You confirm; he doesn’t move to make any follow up questions, just accepting that you’re now going to be in the room with him.

“What’s your name?” He asks.

That just makes you angry. Your own father asking you what your name is.

“That’s need-to-know. And you don’t need to know.”

He briefly raises his eyebrows at you in surprise, before settling back in his seat.

“You a Marine?”

Your eyebrows twist up in confusion, “How did you -”

“Can just tell.”

You don’t respond. You can’t respond. You don’t know what to say to him.

Suddenly the door opens, and Sam stands at the doorway, “Agent 51, you’re needed elsewhere.” That means, get the hell out of this room.

You stand and go to make your exit when your father’s voice stops you, “Hey, 51.”

You turn your head to hear what he has to say.

“Semper Fi.” The motto of the Marine Corps.

You sigh and slump your shoulders, “Oohra, Gunny.” You respond, before exiting the room and going out into the hallway.

As soon as you make it far enough, you place your hand over your mouth to quiet any sobs. If being a crazy, psycho killer yourself wasn’t enough, finding out your absent father was also a murderer really put the nail in the coffin.

How hilarious is it that daddy’s a killer, too! Now, we know where you get it from! I guess killer doesn’t always recognize killer, though, huh?

You feel Sam wrap an arm around you and pull you into his chest, comforting you silently for a few minutes until you can compose yourself enough to make it into the elevator and up to your room.

Except, your night can’t just end there. Bucky’s standing outside your door.

You hate his undercover look. A Marine buzzcut and fully grown out beard, long enough to knot a hair tie in it. You saw pictures in the file earlier, where he had different colored contacts, more prominent freckles, a flesh arm. It’s so… not Bucky.

But you’d figured he’d come talk to you about all of this eventually. This was the reason he had to break up with you.

“Hey.” He starts.

“Hi.”

“... How are you?”

“I’m doing… pretty fucking shitty, Bucky.”

He nods, agreeing with you, “Yeah, I’m doing pretty fucking shitty, as well.”

You two of you stand outside your door just staring at each other; taking each other in and everything the two of you have missed.

“You got your neck tattoo covered up.” Bucky points out. A large, black butterfly now takes that angry face’s place on the side of your neck.

“Yeah, Sam let me invite that guy that did my leg tattoo to the tower.”

“I’m happy for you; I know how much you were dyin’ to get rid of it.”

It’s awkward. Bucky doesn’t know where to start. And neither do you. And as much as you want to be mad at him; as much as you want to hate him, you can’t find it in you. You could never hate Bucky.

“So -”

“Listen -”

The two of you start at the same time. You begin first,

“Listen. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in months. My head is loud as shit. And I’m tired. Can we just… put a pause on this mess we have going on right now and resume tomorrow?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course. You’ve had… a long day, to say the least. We can talk tomorrow.” Bucky agrees before going to walk past you and back towards the elevator.

“I didn’t say for you to leave.” Your voice stops him. He turns back around, waiting for further explanation.

“Don’t sleep well without you.” You confess to him, a repeat of words he said to you when he was in the hospital.

He gives a gentle smile. A smile of agreement, a smile of I’m so glad we’re thinking the same thing here. He steps back over to you as you open your door, walking inside.

“You’re shaving that shit off your face before getting in my bed, though.” You call out behind you.

Bucky laughs to himself before following you inside. Your conversation can wait until tomorrow.

And the two of you finally sleep well for the first time in two months, twenty-three days, and sixteen hours.

Can’t sleep forever, though. Not when there’s incredibly difficult conversations to have; conversations no other couple in the world has probably ever had or ever will have.

“So… Fury made you break up with me because of my dad’s involvement.” You confirm. You figure the more you say it, the faster it’ll finally click in your head.

It’s morning, now. The two of you are laying on your sides, facing each other with your big, fluffy blanket covering up to both of your shoulders. You’re close enough to Bucky to see the tiny spot of discoloration on his chin from where he nicked himself shaving last night.

“He said that if there was any chance that he knew about you and who you were, it could risk you and your real identity being exposed. Fury didn’t want to take that risk.”

You sigh. You can’t be mad. Do you wish you would’ve known? Yes. But it makes sense. And knowing yourself, being involved wouldn’t have helped your curiosity anyway and you would’ve gotten yourself involved, just as you did this time around.

“Did he… mention me? At all?” You ask, timidly, because you have a feeling you’re not going to like the answer.

A quiet sigh from Bucky, “No.”

“I saw him yesterday. He asked me what my name was. He had no idea who I was.”

“That guy’s a piece of garbage, babe -” Bucky begins to reassure you, but stops himself at the slip of the pet name.

What now? Bucky broke up with you because of a lie for the mission. But the mission’s over now.

“There... wasn’t anyone else… right?”

You’re scared to find out the answer.

Bucky shakes his head No, “I meant it when I said I love you. I’ve meant it every single time I’ve said. You don’t understand how much I hated doing what I did to you. And you won’t understand the guilt I carry because of it. I’m sorry.”

The two of you lay there and stare at each other for a while. It was a really long two and half months. Felt like eternity, though.

“As much as I want to, I can’t stay mad at you, Bucky. I don’t think I can ever be mad at you. I… I want - wanted - to hate you for what you did, and I tried so hard to. But I couldn’t. I still can’t.”

“You should.” Bucky reassures you.

“I can’t -”

“But, you should, though.” Bucky repeats, almost begging you to. He thinks he deserves it.

“Bucky, I forgive you,” Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, almost disappointed that you were so easy to forgive him, “What was your other option, Bucky? You didn’t have one. And as fucking terrified as I am to admit, I can’t live without you, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He interrupts.

“And I can’t live without you, either. That was, like, the hardest two months of my life.” Bucky admits, and a humorless chuckle escapes your lips.

“It was the hardest two months of my life, too. That fucking sucked.”

Things are complicated. But if there’s one thing that the two of you are sure of, it’s that the two of you are madly, deeply, and utterly in love with each other. And that’s the only thing that’s important to the two of you now.

[auroralightsthesky]

I LOVE your writing 😭😭💜 it is so incredible! Could you please do a Ack-Ack x fem!reader fic or headcanons with the prompts “warm hands” and “i’m watching over you now”? Like maybe he and the reader don’t know each other well but the other men are starting to bother her and she’s scared to sleep at night and is losing sleep so Ack-Ack steps up to keep watch? Wow, that was super detailed 😅😅 sorry but thank you so much!! You are incredible 💗💗💗

😍😍😍😍 Ah now here's something I can get behind.

There was NO WAY IN HELL that you were going to put up with this shit anymore. This was the first time in months that you and the rest of K-Company had managed to get some sleep and almost losing Ack Ack and Hillbilly had cranked the anxiety up to eleven.

You kicked the wooden storm door of your tent shut, almost loosening it from its hinges as you flopped onto your cot. You were done.....completely and utterly done with everyone's bullshit. If one more person ticked you off then Gunny would be running scared across the camp.

Treating the soldiers had been a rough job already, your hands and clothes covered in blood day after day, but what infuriated you most were the people who thought they were better than you, people who constantly told you that you were doing everything wrong and that your work sucked. Much of that you had been used to, until one of the higher ups, a high and mighty officer from Massachusetts, started making rude remarks about two of the nurses who had been your best friend. Of course Naya, one of the foreign nurses from Nigeria and Sirikit, the little Thai nurse who you affectionately called "Kitty", didn't speak the best English, but that gave no one, whether they were an officer or not, the right to nitpick or make snide remarks about where they were from or how they spoke.

You stared up at the ceiling wondering if everything you were doing was worthwhile. Whenever you found something good you had done for someone, a nasty, nagging thought trailed in its wake and tried to eat you alive. When.....? When would this disgusting war be over so you could go home?

You heard a knock at the door and when you lifted your head up, you were surprised to see Ack Ack standing there, the swathes of bandages still wrapped around his head and leaning on the crutches Kitty had given him. "Hey (y/n)? You got a minute?"

"Ten if someone's paying," you said flatly.

Ack Ack pushed open the creaky door before you moved over and gave him space to lie down. You felt a hell of alot better whenever it was just the two of you, no other officers, no new ranks.....just the two of you, alone together.

"Listen, I heard about what happened with one of the assholes in Item Co.," he said. "Just be glad you weren't there when Kitty gave him hell."

"Why?" you asked. "What did she do?"

"Last I saw she picked up a bread knife in the mess tent and started threatening him," Ack Ack said with a chuckle. "My Thai is a little bit rusty, but I think she threatened to, and I quote, 'turn you, the rooster, into a hen in three split seconds'."

You couldn't help but laugh. Hopefully the nasty little bastard learned his lesson and quick.

Minutes dragged on as you and Ack Ack lay side by side, him gently taking your hand in his as the stress melted away like wax falling down the side of a candle. You loved the feel of them, warm but rough and calloused, hands that had held a weapon and even dying men....not much different from yours.

"Don't worry about some knucklehead's comments hon," he said. "You've got too much going for you. I'll stay the night with you until we have to go home."

Grateful that he had offered to stay, you threw your arms around him and nestled in close for the night. Every worry you had held in had finally released you from its grip and into the happiness you had once thought was lost on that godforsaken island. No more would you let anything trouble you because you had Ack Ack by your side....for now....and forever.

[p1harmonyofficial]

[📰] 20 Questions With P1Harmony: K-Pop Rookies on the High Energy of 'Disharmony: Break Out' Mini-Album

By Heran Mamo

Plus: See a full, translated video interview with the sextet exclusively on Billboard.

P1Harmony explore a wide range of topics and genres on their high-intensity mini-album Disharmony: Break Out, which was released April 20 as the follow-up to their first EP, Disharmony: Stand Out.

Named one of the rookie K-pop groups to watch in 2021 by Time, members Keeho, Theo, Jiung, Intak, Soul and Jongseob had a unique experience stepping into the spotlight for the first time: The sextet debuted in the Korean film P1H: The Beginning of a New World on Oct. 8, 2020, before releasing their debut EP, Disharmony: Stand Out, on Oct. 28. Starring in a film prior to releasing their own music allowed P1Harmony to be more comfortable and confident enhancing their choreography (their Billie Eilish medley choreography has amassed more than 1 million YouTube views) and even coming up with their own music video concepts.

To commemorate the release of Disharmony: Break Out, the members of P1Harmony answered Billboard’s 20 questions about how Korea shaped who they are, how their evolving sound shines through on their latest mini-album, and the meanings they've taken away from this project as well as what they hope their fans will too.

1. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Keeho: 5 Seconds of Summer, CD

Theo: BIGBANG’s MADE, CD

Jiung: Lee Moon Sae, cassette tape

Intak: Teen Top's "Miss Right," mp3

Soul: G-Dragon, CD

Jongseob: B.A.P’s "1004," CD

2. What was the first concert you saw?

Keeho: Ariana Grande’s The Listening Session

Theo: BIGBANG’s MADE Concert

Jiung: Lee Sun Hee’s Concert

Intak: Open Concert by KBS when I was 7!

Soul: Teen Top’s Japan Concert

Jongseob: B.A.P Concert

3. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

Keeho: [My mom] used to do work related to music, she was a musician. My dad used to work at a university as a counselor.

Theo: My mom is a hairstylist.

Jiung: My mom used to be a banker and my dad used to work at National Tax Service.

Intak: My mom is a [yoga] trainer or coach and my dad is a businessman.

Soul: I’m not sure.

Jongseob: My mom used to be a jazz dancer as well as an instructor and my dad used to work at National Dance Company of Korea.

4. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

Keeho: Myself and acquaintances

Theo: Myself

Jiung: My rap and my vocal coach

Intak: My parents. They gave me full support, as well as the confidence to be able to pursue my dream.

Soul: Teen Top

Jongseob: B.A.P and my parents

5. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

Keeho: The Grammys!

Theo: Our own world tour!

Jiung: To perform in front of a million people

Intak: To become a respected musician

Soul: To perform at a big music festival or a stadium, like Coachella

Jongseob: To perform until I can’t

6. How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

Keeho: It’s a place where I was able to gain my own confidence and learn the importance of being friendly [manners]. It’s also where I was able to experience a wide range of vocalists and their styles, which ultimately helped me shape and find my own vocal style.

Theo: It’s a place where I was able to live without any pressure or concerns.

Jiung: For me, my hometown is currently a place where I can find mental stability and state of relaxation. I reminiscence about my hometown quite frequently when I need to recoup and find mental stability.

Intak: I was raised in the rural part of Korea, so I was always close to nature and grew up playing in the valleys or riding gunny sacks in the mountains. I think that’s what helped me be at leisure.

Soul: It’s a place where I grew up without any hardships.

Jongseob: It was one of the most comfortable places in Korea with positive vibes and clean, refreshing air, which helped me find peace and ease.

7. What’s the last song you listened to?

Keeho: Ariana Grande’s "POV"

Theo: P1Harmony’s "End It"

Jiung: DPR IAN’s MITO

Soul: P1Harmony’s "Reset"

Jongseob: Penomeco’s Dry Flower

8. What’s your karaoke go-to?

Keeho: Alicia Keys, "If I Ain't Got You"

Theo: BIGBANG’s "BANG BANG BANG"

Intak: Bobby’s "YGGR"

Soul: I don’t go to karaoke haha

Jongseob: Beenzino’s "Dali, Van, Picasso"

9. If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

Keeho: Beyoncé

Theo: G-Dragon and Huh Gak

Jiung: Lee Sun Hee

Intak: Michael Jackson

Soul: Beyoncé

Jongseob: Post Malone

10. How has the pandemic affected your creative process?

Keeho: My source of inspiration has become very limited, as I don’t get to go to new places or meet new people.

Theo: I think because I couldn’t really go out, I was able to focus more on my craft.

Jiung: I was able to really dig deep into my work, writing lyrics and composing.

Intak: I didn't have a lot of ideas, but I also thought writing about COVID-19 could be a source of new ideas.

Soul: It was hard because I couldn’t really go to places that would usually help me get inspiration.

Jongseob: It was a bit difficult because I lacked having new experiences and meeting new people. My source of inspiration was also very limited, because I would just go to the same places.

11. How did starring in the film P1H: The Beginning of a New World prepare you for your debut as a K-pop boy band?

Keeho: I think it was a good opportunity for me to learn how to be more comfortable in front of the cameras.

Theo: I was able to gain confidence and felt a sense of pride knowing that we were the first ones to debut in a unique way with a full-length movie.

Jiung: I think it was a unique way of introducing us to the world and gave us the opportunity to learn how to be more focused and theatrical onstage.

Soul: It was a great experience, because it allowed me to learn the basic manners of the industry and the importance of staff members.

Jongseob: I think it helped us build a strong storyline and composition for our music. It will be easier to understand our music and its message if you watch the movie.

12. What do you want fans to take away from your mini-album Disharmony: Break Out?

Keeho: I believe it would depend and vary on how you interpret it, but we hope our listeners really enjoy our music.

Theo: I hope our fans and listeners gain confidence through our music, which is one of our strongest messages.

Jiung: I would like for our fans P1ece to really understand, take and gain everything from what we are trying to deliver in our message.

Intak: I would like for our fans to find the courage to speak up and have their own voice.

Soul: I just want our fans to be happy when they're listening to our music!

Jongseob: I think it depends on who is listening, but I hope our fans can take away anything and everything they can in a positive way and earn confidence as well.

13. Which song from Disharmony: Break Out is the most meaningful to you and why?

Keeho: I think it’s "If You Call Me" because it's a song that all six of us worked on together

Theo: I would like to pick "Reset," because I did so well in the studio while recording this song, so it means a lot to me.

Jiung: I’d say "Pyramid" because the lyrics "I’m on the top of the pyramid" helps me feel like I’m really the best and makes me want to live by that mindset. It definitely has become one of my favorite tracks.

Intak: I would pick "If You Call Me" for the same reason Keeho picked it. It’s a meaningful song to me because we all worked on it together as a team.

Soul: I think every single track on the album has a special meaning for me and because it’s all our songs, it’s a super difficult question to answer.

Jongseob: I think for me, our title track "Scared" is the most meaningful. The message of the song, which is not to be afraid to voice your own opinions and to live the life you want to live, is what I strongly believe in and that’s the kind of attitude I want to have.

14. Your debut EP Disharmony: Stand Out is much more hip-hop leaning, while your second features more R&B harmonies and EDM production while still refining the rap verses. What made you want to switch up your sound in only a manner of six months?

Keeho: I think we wanted to really make sure our message is being delivered clearly and strongly, so I think that’s why we picked tracks that were as strong with aggressive sounds.

Jiung: I don’t think we had a special moment or particular reason as to why we decided to do what. We just wanted to portray our feelings and thoughts that we felt at that moment while making music, and the time that we spent in between our albums, is what probably contributed to the change of sound as well.

Intak: As Keeho mentioned, I think we wanted to stand out a bit more with more clarity and distinct characteristics, which is what drove the aggressiveness and the slight change of sounds for this album.

15. Since you help choreograph and conceptualize your videos, what do you hope to convey in the accompanying visuals for Disharmony: Break Out?

Keeho: As you can see in our choreography for "Scared," we incorporated football into our routine. Football is a sport that is very aggressive and requires a lot of energy so we thought it was a good fit with our song. With these specific key points, we tried to really emphasize our message as well as our energy.

Jiung: I think our choreography, stage outfits, and concept all adds up and helps level up the intensity of the song as well as the message that we want to deliver. Our music video and choreography really turned out well, so I hope our fans appreciate and enjoy it!

16. Which artist is on your bucket list to collaborate with?

Keeho: Ariana Grande

Theo: BIGBANG, Taeyang, G.Soul, Dean

Jiung: Ty Dolla $ign

Intak: Justin Timberlake, A$AP Rocky

Soul: Les Twins

Jongseob: Penomeco, Smino

17. What’s one thing that even your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

Keeho: I really don’t like long nails. I just can’t stand it, so I tend to always keep my nails short.

Theo: I don’t really sweat. I don’t think I sweat at all.

Jiung: I have a habit of chewing the inside of my mouth, unintentionally.

Intak: My lips are naturally moisturized so I don’t need to use a lip balm to make them glossy!

Soul: I have dermographism, so even the slightest irritation like a scratch will leave a mark/scar for a while.

Jongseob: I have a slim waist and biggest feet of all members.

18. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

Keeho: I don’t really cry, so I don’t think there’s a movie that ever made me cry.

Theo: The Korean movie Miracle in Cell No. 7 makes me cry every single time I watch it.

Jiung: Korean traditional children’s song "Daddy Cheer Up" makes me tear up.

Intak: I have a couple, but if I had to just pick one, it’d be the movie Forrest Gump.

Soul: I don’t cry like Keeho so I have never cried watching something and I just don’t like to watch sad movies.

Jongseob: "Falling Slowly"

19. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your pre-debut self?

Keeho: Don’t worry too much and work harder.

Theo: Think 100 times before acting on it.

Jiung: Are you truly sincere?

Intak: Enjoy life a bit more.

Soul: Be more emotionally stable.

Jongseob: It's never too late.

20. What does a successful 2021 look like for you?

Keeho: I hope to release as much music as we can!

Theo: I wish we can make at least 3 comebacks.

Jiung: I hope to gain more emotional peace and stability.

Intak: "Rookie of the Year" award!

Soul: There’s a necklace I really want to buy and I hope to buy it by the end of this year!

[alienoresimagines]

All I Want | AndyEddie

Or the four times Andy wanted to kiss Eddie and the one time he acted on it

A/N : Happy birthday @blenalela​!! I’m so grateful that I got to speak to you, I love you so much Psychic💞🥰 I hope you have an awesome day, I wish you all the love! This is my gift to you, although it isn’t as fluffy as I would’ve liked to😂The absolute best to you, you deserve it (we still have to do something for our boi, Kagari Shuusei!!😉)

Also please forgive how bad this is, I wrote most of it on a sugar rush at 2 a.m and haven’t read a word of it ever since.🤣😘

Taglist : @murphyism @mavysnavy @speirs-sexy-ass @order-of-river-phoenix @inglourious-imagines @liebegott​ @tvserie-s-world @stressedinadress​ @warrior-healer​

Posted : 31/12/2020

Masterlist Taglist Prompts 

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1. The music was loud in his ears, a welcome distraction from the shells in his head. The young Australian girl's hand in his as they were dancing felt softer from his gun. But Andy couldn't focus entirely on her, despite her apparent beauty. The drinks he'd had earlier made him loosen up, enough to ask her for a dance as he noticed her alone at the bar but certainly not enough to make a fool of himself like some of his men were. Not that it mattered anyway, Andy could and would let it pass for tonight. He never was one to spoil their fun when they so obviously needed and deserved it. But still, his fingers ached for the familiar touch of the cold trigger against them. For something he could control, something he was familiar and good with. His collar was strangely tight, the light of the pub too bright for his hazy mind but he still found it in him to bow respectfully his goodbyes to the girl without puking all over her shoes. He saw her pink lips move, pearly white tooth displaying in a charming smile but her voice was lost in the constant buzzing his brain was making. Smiling politely, he left her to walk to the bar, sitting on one of the tools and gesturing to the barman for another drink. Maybe the cold glass could trick his mind into thinking he had an ounce of control again. As the liquid poured into the glass, Andy felt more than he saw another man sitting on the tool next to him, the uniform making his stomach twist painfully. 

"Not one for dancing, Skip?" The south accent reminded him of something, the voice at the back of his mind whispering that he knew that man. Turning his upper body to face the other man, Andy's mouth twitched as he recognized the tanned skin and curly brown licks. His newly assigned First Lieutenant. He must have had a few drinks of his own, or that was what the bright smile on the lieutenant's face told him. Andy didn't quite know the man yet but he certainly did know the officer and he didn't seem like the type to go see the first girl he could lay eyes on. He thought about greeting the man with his rank before he decided otherwise. This night wasn't about the fallen of tomorrow nor was it about masks. 

"For someone's toes pleasure.", he joked, raising his glass in the man's direction. "I'm surprised you're not though, you didn't strike me as the sidelined kind of guy. Or is the room too cold, Eddie?" Said man chuckled, shaking his head with a charming smile parting his lips. 

"Didn't find the right partner yet." Eddie was gazing down at his drink, a thoughtful look on his face. 

"Quite the romantic, are you?" Andy teased gently, nudging Eddie's side whose only answer was to raise his glass in Andy's direction like the latter did only a few moments ago before he said : 

"One has to be." Andy grinned as the man downed his drink. 

And if his eyes lingered to Eddie's lips as they curved back into a smile, well he blamed the alcohol he had already consumed.

2. The raindrops against the tents were falling so rhythmically that Andy felt like he was going crazy. The same things happened again and again. Japanese attack. Getting control of the situation. Taking care of the damages caused. Planning patrols. Sending men too broken to even understand why they're in the medical tent. Eat whatever the cooks gave them, too tired to try and find out what exactly he was eating. Paperwork. Sleep if there was enough time and not enough paperwork for Eddie to let him up another full night. Then again and again. But the rain never stopped. When the rain would stop, Andy would believe the end of the world had come. Or the beginning of Apocalypse. Whichever seems better at the time. Right now, with Eddie softly picking at his beloved guitar's chords, the captain couldn't care less. If he was accompanied by Eddie and his guitar, wherever he fell would be Heaven. Even if the rain and suffering never stopped, blurring the words in front of him, making his report nearly unreadable despite having started writing it mere thirty minutes ago. Andy sighed through his nose, rubbing his eyes that stung from lack of sleep to realize that his headache had passed. Closing his eyes as Eddie started to hum mindlessly, he laid back as much as the uncomfortable army chair would let him. 

"Would you play something for me?" The soft melody stopped, rain completely fulfilling the air. There was no "What would you like?" or anything of the sort. They both knew perfectly that whatever Eddie played would be more than enough. They also knew that anything and everything Eddie played was already heavy with the thought of Andy. But still. Eddie started playing again, an unknown melody mixing with the rain like blood in water. Opening his eyes while his shoulders relaxed, he peered at Eddie, sitting on the edge of his bunk. The candle light made his face look softer, the wavering of the flame dancing on his cheeks as his lips were pressed together like they always were when he was focused. A sudden urge of reaching out and burying his hands in Eddie's hair overcame his rational thoughts for a brief instant, almost making him choke at how painfully strong it was. 

And if Eddie was aware of his internal fight, well he showed no sign of it and continued playing.

3. It turned out that the end of the rain did not mean the end of the world or the beginning of Apocalypse. It meant the end of his nostrils and sense of smell. Andy didn't know what was worse : the fact that the smell of rotten coconuts was everywhere, even on their uniforms, or the fact that he was getting used to it. The constant twist in his stomach never weakened though. Nor did the aching in his heart, tearing him apart every waking second. Strangely enough, given that he was partly responsible for it, Eddie helped for the last part. Seeing him, talking to him soothed any pain Andy could've felt like an ointment. But paperwork alas didn't have such an effect. In fact, Andy felt like he was drowning, writing the same words over and over again. He had seen so many names pass on his desk that he had started to mix them up. Exhaustion had settled in his bones, making every limbs heavier. And yet, his heart was so light whenever he was with Eddie in the privacy of his tent. As if he was summoned, the flap of his tent opened to let his first lieutenant in, the noise of the camp louder until he closed the flap behind them. Andy greeted him with a nod and a small smile, already forgetting about the heaviness of his eyelids. Eddie sat on the edge of his bunk like he did countless times before, blue eyes quietly watching as Andy muffled a yawn which looked like it could have broken his jaw. No words were spoken for a long time, a comfortable silence taking over them until Andy yawned again, eyes tearing up slightly. Warm and calloused fingers wrapped around his right wrist, taking the pen from his hand as Andy could feel the warmth radiating from Eddie like a blanket draped on his shoulders. 

"Take some rest, I'll finish this for you." It was barely a whisper, as if Eddie himself was scared to break the silence surrounding them. Andy probably should protest, it wasn't Eddie's job to sign letters or fulfill reports but his tongue wouldn't cooperate as his eyes immediately closed as soon as his head hit the pillow of his bunk. Perhaps he managed to mumble a thanks, he wasn't sure as his tired mind replayed the soft press of lips on his forehead. He mustn't have been dreaming because he remembered wanting to reach out and ask Eddie to lay down with him before he fell asleep. 

And if Andy desperately wanted to feel those lips on his skin again, well he really couldn't be blamed.

4. Andrew remembered his godfather. The man used to tell him stories about his time in the war, which grew heavier as the date of Andy's shipping came closer. Once he had taken him apart after dinner, Andy remembered it for being the last time to date eating his mother's apple pie, and asked him to go for a walk. 

"You're an officer, Andy. You'll have to make decisions that'll set the fate of young men. They'll decide your fate. But any decision you make, you are not the one taking it. Let the officer they trained do his job. Make a difference." he had told him before going back to the house Andy didn't think he had completely followed that advice, never really able to detach himself. But that was definitely the only thing that kept him upright that day, when even Gunny broke down. Seeing Eddie on one of the stretchers was like having his whole life played in front of him to have it crushed. On the inside, Andy crumbled, wanting nothing more than to run to Eddie's side and brush his sweaty curls away from his forehead, to reassure him that it'd be okay, although the man was already unconscious. However, he still had men to lead, men who were looking at him with terror in their eyes as if they'd just seen an immortal die. Andy tried not to think about how close from reality it was, instead tossing his feelings aside and tightening his grip on his rifle. The buzzing in his ears made it hard to focus on reciting the prologue of one of his manuals they gave him at the officer school but he managed, cursing the picture of a bloody and pale and lifeless Eddie out of his eyelids. 

And if his voice wavered and his eyes got wet, well his godfather didn't have to know.

+1. This was familiar. The warmth of Eddie's shoulder from where it was connected with his own, smoke leaving the curly haired man's mouth as he exhaled. Before, Andy would have scowled disapprovingly at the white stick but now it comforted him in a way that could only be associated with Eddie. 

The feeling that accompanied having a full, warm, tasty dinner was foreign though. So was the happy babbling of children in the background. Eddie's siblings. Their eyes still shone with innocence and laughter, and not for the first time since he went to Virginia to escape the suffocating crowds and noises of Boston, Andy thought that it had been worth it. Every second. 

If he could go back and start it all over again, go through all the suffering and sorrow he endured, to be sure to have whatever it is that Eddie and him shared, he'd do it in a heartbeat. 

"You're thinkin' again." It wasn't a question. No, it was a statement, a drawl of a voice more used to shout orders above flying bullets than to over emotional confessions. Yet he managed lullabies, Andy heard from joyful kids. 

"It's my job." He replied with a breathy chuckle. 

"Not anymore." There wasn't anything that could have been considered rude in Eddie's tone, for he always was and always will be  a gentleman. But there was a softness in his voice, smoothing its rough edges so it could carry away Andy's doubts, leaving on its trail a feather light touched. 

Andy looked down on his joined hands; elbows resting on his knees and sleeves rolled up. It was true. He wasn't an army captain anymore. He was Andy, although he had a feeling that for some boys he'd always be Ack Ack or Skip. He didn't mind. 

"So what am I supposed to do?" He didn't expect an answer but as Eddie exhaled a new cloud of smoke and opened his mouth to speak, Andy couldn't say he was surprised.

"Whatever you want." A small smile tugged at his lips as Andy pondered, his knee slightly touching Eddie's. 

What did he want? His blue eyes wavered to Eddie's thin lips, brows furrowed a tiniest bit as he thought about the past 3 years.

But could he have it? Looking up, he found Eddie's own blue eyes already locked with his, an ocean of soft understanding and sweet devotion. 

And if their first kiss was far from perfect with too much teeth because of how wide they were both smiling , well they still had a lifetime before them to practice.

[danganronpastories]

Day 1: Rescue

(First day of comfortember let’s gooo!!) “I’m worried about you, and I’m scared......that one day I won’t be there to help you. I just want you to be more careful” Gundham wept, standing in front of Kazuichi, tears streaming down his face. Kazuichi tensed and started to walk closer to the man. But let’s go back to why this incident occurred ------------- It had been a nice day for Kazuichi and Gundham. They had decided to go out clothes shopping, it mostly consisted of Gundham being a fashion king and picking out the greatest outfits and him stopping Kazuichi from picking something completely embarrassing or unfashionable. The incident happened on the walk home.  Kazuichi was crossing the street, rushing ahead of Gundham who was carrying most of the bags. Suddenly a red car came down the street, Kazuichi had just stood there, his primal instincts to dodge didn’t kick in and he just stared. In the next second though he was on the ground and the car had missed him. Then in a split second he was dragged to the the sidewalk where they both sat on the ground. “Kazuichi are you ok?” Gundham whisper yelled, breathing heavy. Kazuichi shook, “Y-yeah, did you save me?” Kazuichi asked, getting up with Gundhams help. Gundham nodded, grabbing his hand tight. Kazuichi looked at Gundham, only to realize small tears were starting to prick Gundham eyes. “W-We’re going home, I need to talk to you” Gundham muttered out, his voice starting to get more shaky. The moment the door was shut behind them, Gundham dropped the bags and turned to his pink haired boyfriend. Kazuichi couldn’t not notice the way Gundhams shaking had increased since the walk home. “What were you thinking!? When you see a car coming at you you run Kaz!” Gundham yelled, wiping his eyes, his voice cracking. “Gundham-” Kazuichi muttered, his heart feeling like it was cracking. “Baby- I- I need you to be more careful, I keep saving you from life threatening situations Kazzy. I’m worried, please just be more careful” Gundham quieted down tapering off as the tears kept streaming. Kazuichi looked down, Gundham was right..... Gundham had been saving him from situations, he knew he needed to be more careful, take care of himself. Then Gundham said the line and now they were at where they are now --------- Kazuichi hugs Gundham and the boy collapses in his arms, burying his face in the crook of Kazuichis neck. Kazuichi kisses him on the cheek. “It’s ok Gunny, I promise I’ll be more careful, we’re ok.” Kazuichi whispers to his boyfriend. “Hey babe?” Kazuichi says, Gundham pulls away to look at Kaz. “Yeah?” Gundham whispers, eyes red and somewhat puffy. “I’ll make us some smoothies, I’ll light some candles and we can watch some Youtube videos on my phone” Kazuichi explains, moving a white strand of Gundhams hair behind Gundhams ear. Gundham smiles, a loving sight that sends Kazuichis beating heart aflutter. Kazuichi kisses Gundhams cheek and pats his back, “To the couch with you, my overlord of ice” Kazuichi instructs his beloved, letting go of his hand. Gundham nods, kissing Kazuichis cheek delicately like a snowflake. Kazuichi walks to the clean counter and takes out a blender. “Hmm” Kazuichi hums to himself as he ruffles through their fruit and veggie filled fridge. He settles on some apples and bananas for Gundham, and some raspberries, blackberries, and grapes for himself. He also grabs some almond milk to give the smoothies some volume. He sings a little song to himself while he makes the smoothies. Kazuichi takes the drinks to the couch where Gundham is lounging, eyes closed. Kazuichi smiles, sitting down and poking the mans cheek gently. “eyes open sleepyhead, I got your smoothie” Kazuichi whispers lovingly to his adorable boyfriend. Gundhams eyes fluttered open and he laughs genuinely, it always makes Kazuichi smile when Gundham laughs like that. Kazuichi turns on Youtube, resting his head on Gundhams shoulder. “Are you alright my love?” Gundham asks, stroking Kazuichis bubblegum pink hair. “Yes i’m alright.....Thank you for saving me” Kazuichi answers, melting into the touch. “There is no need to thank me my dear, it is my duty. But please promise me you’ll be more careful dove” Gundham requests, pulling Kazuichi closer. “I promise, I love you” Kazuichi says, “I love you too Kazuichi” Gundham says back, kissing him on the forehead.

[docnomore]

Today I had to solo with three dogs. I help with others, teaming up to get them through the whole grooming process, but three, I had to do alone. The first, a puppy who was just scared. The second received a closed head injury when he was pistol whipped by an intruder in the family home. He’s never been right since and sudden movement or approaching from his blind spot will set him off. And the third, my friend Tin Drum (AKA “Carl”) and his wife Dolly Madison rescued. They’re Lakota. They live in the woods by a river that is used often to drown puppies. They heard a commotion and ran to the river and found one tied in a gunny sack. They pulled her out of the river. I believe she now suffers oxygen deprivation. She’s deathly afraid of water and trust doesn’t come easy for her. For years, she would have to be sedated. Today, I took care of her without benefit of sedation. She was scared, but we got through it. Me? Emotionally and physically exhausted by day’s end.