#helpppp the angst

[gunnrblze]

The sibling dynamic between Hesh and Logan has rotted the innards of my brain. Long ramble of me reading into this too much and probably making it personal below the cut, lol.

They’re extremely close, grow up practically codependent, at least from a certain point onward. Hesh brothers Logan in an almost fatherly way sometimes because their actual father places this responsibility on him (albeit largely unintentionally I imagine), for the literal sole fact that he’s two (2) years older than Logan. That’s it, just two. He got parentified like a lot of older siblings tend to be, purely due to circumstance of being the eldest. If Logan was older this dynamic would most likely have been the same thing. Hesh was pushed into this protector role regardless of how he feels about it.

And I wonder how it would’ve panned out had Elias tried to foster a more ‘behave as a unit’ approach rather than ‘Hesh protect Logan regardless’ type thing. Logan followed in Hesh’s footsteps (QUITE LITERALLY!) and strived to be just like him. During all their training, they “became men” together and learned how to communicate non verbally to the point where they’re near fucking telepathic.

Yes they fight together, yes Logan was there for Hesh always, “Logan has my back and I have his, we’re brothers” yes yes yes. But Hesh was damn near playing caretaker for him sometimes. From the beginning of the game we see Elias telling Hesh to look out for Logan constantly, and he continues to throughout the entire game. And at the end when Rorke drags Logan away you can hear the pain and the panic in Hesh’s voice (duh). Can see him trying to reach for him and crawl to him. From the beginning to the end, Hesh is Logan’s big brother in every sense of the word. From childhood to the moment Logan is drug off the beach, Hesh is right there with him like a guardian angel. Or more like a guard dog maybe lol. And I just wonder what difference it would’ve made if Elias didn’t force Hesh (whether he meant to or not doesn’t even matter) to shoulder the burden of not only growing up himself, but guiding Logan so heavily at the same time.

And what gets me the most about this is that Logan is just as experienced as Hesh, minus those two years that Hesh joined the army before Logan turned 18. They trained together, Rorke implied that Elias trained them a lot himself, and Logan is just as capable. Just as intelligent, prepared, skilled, etc. Yet in some parts of the game, it almost seems like his ‘baby of the family’ role follows him, despite being a skilled spec ops soldier fighting an active war, and it’s just so interesting to me. I just know this has gotta be a deep seated thing for Hesh, to have been his brothers guardian in a sense, despite only having two years on him. He was just as young and confused, just as in need of guidance, and yes Elias provided a lot of that for the both of them, but Hesh kinda had to wing it a lot I think. He didn’t have an older sibling to look up to because he IS the older sibling being looked up to.

And on the flip side, how is Logan meant to interpret that growing up, in any other way besides ‘Hesh knows more, does more, is better than me, knows better than me, etc’ type of thing? You’re being looked after by an older sibling half the time, of course you’re gonna idolize them more than a sibling might do so even in a regular/healthy circumstance. Like yea that’s his big brother and he’s gonna look up to him regardless, but you’re only two years younger being silently treated like you’re in need of this caretaking….c’mon. Elias created a dynamic in which the two of them are so codependent, that it had to have hurt Hesh on an even deeper level to lose Logan than it already would’ve. That would already be soul shattering in the first place, especially with the dogshit ass circumstances they were in, but to lose the little brother that you most definitely feel personally responsible for…? This is why I think Hesh would genuinely be tweaking the fuck out post beach.

And to add onto this ramble about Merrick becoming like a mentor to Hesh, I can see Hesh getting some actual older male guidance without the addendum of ‘also here’s this other guy you need to look out for’ being healing in a way. Dare I say Keegan/Kick would even become like an older brother figure to Hesh and kinda fill that hole, the older brother he didn’t get.

Anyways idk I’m insane about them always. You unintentionally made your sons codependent on one another, and then you die, and then one son is taken, blah blah we know what happened. I mean damn lol.

[hainethehero]

I can imagine Eddie sobbing uncontrollably as he calls Buck, hands shaking and feeling a panic attack coming on as his parents threaten to take Chris. He knows entertaining the idea of Kim was wrong. He's just been holding it together so well all the time. He was bound to snap. He just didn't realize it would cost him his son.

So when Buck picks up on the second ring, he breaks.

"Eddie?"

His voice cracks from the pressure, letting out a broken sob, "I messed up and I need you."

[sugaaz]

MXTX-TOBER 2023 ☆ DAY TWENTY FIVE - Death

[papayaturtles]

C!BEEDUO COMIC

I forgot to post on here that I also have a cbeeduo comic I've been working know since 2022, theres too many pages to fit on tumblr (30+ pages in the later chapters) so the full comic is on ao3! :D HERE

Theres 15 chapters so far and the 16th is on the way! Here's some sneak peeks into my story! It's about a war between the Overworld and the End that's been hoping on for nearly a decade and 2 stars, a child soldier and a prince, will try to work together to stop the conflict

Old artstyle jumpscare 😨😨😨

And here's a completely out of context page from ch 16 that you won't know about till it comes out 😝😝😝😝

[catiuskaa]

heads up: liking the post = added to the taglist of the winner!

edit: here’s the results

[collectorcookie]

WAS SOMEBODY GONNA TELL ME OBBLIGATO IS PRETTY FUNNY OR WAS I SUPPOSED TO FIND THAT OUT MYSELF

[mizukiakiyama-tdi]

Why are half of my Totaldrama head canons/backstories just angst. Like why is Noah based off FREAKING ENA Shinonome.💀☹️

[awanderingcatharsis]

Just started tsoa today and I'm ripping my hair out I'm not even half way thru the book

[screampied]

OKAY OKAY FIRST OF ALL I DIDNT CONSENTED FOR AN GUT WRENCHING ANGST FIC😭😭😭😭😭 But you are so right bodyguard!Geto acts so confidently and smooth but he loves reader so much that he would take a bullet on his heart for her 😭😭😭😭😭😭 this fic/series has too many potential for being both fluffy and angsty I’ll leave it to you it’s impossible for us to not have a angsty ending😭 (not that I am complaining your fics are so 😋😋😋)🌙

IMSORRRYYYYY. idk why but i feel like with the bodyguard trope, he’d take a bullet for you in an instant without question. HES SO DREAMMYYY ☹️☹️☹️☹️

i know right !!! he’d def have like a nonchalant yet suave type personality towards reader. this is also another trope i’ve never written for so i can’t wait to get to it when i can tehehe

[neofleurist]

hello... guys im struggling rn. i've got this project for graphics and i like really really reallyyyyy need responses on this questionnaire so please help

https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=FoP7clDUuEyaEvAkg6v5MOqim69mQ1NOsOMyorowkohUQjRIMjUyRjZGREoyODNZMzc0R09JUzdMQi4u

[narugen]

got a stroke of genius while in the shower. mina leaving hoshina notes when he finally confesses and they don’t see each other anymore (surprise the truth is she’s always around until i think he gets older and older and she finally stops haunting him? idk) anyway she leaves him notes because just like the ink on receipt paper that’s been in the sun for too long - her pretty handwriting constantly fades with time…. her words don’t show up in pictures too…

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Me looking at all the cool Shadow art: It’s okay, I’ll make some later and contribute to the community 🤗✨

Me 5 seconds later: I CANNOT DRAW SHADOW FOR SHIT. 😭😭😭

[fushitoru]

btw do you know the plot of jane austens emma?? if not i highly recommend the movie from 2020 with anya taylor joy and mia goth. clueless is also an emma adaptation.

MY POINT IS!!!!!! i feel like the plot of emma would be perfect with nanami. reader is this younger bratty idiot who keeps getting herself into trouble.

and nanami is her slightly older family friend who’s sooooo tired of her cause she just. keeps doing dumb fucking shit. and he’s the one who has to talk sense into her every time.

and they just fucking hate each other. or at least that’s what they both think. but then suddenly reader suspects mr. nanami might be courting her best friend and oh why is she upset she shouldn’t be upset because nanami isn’t hers anyway……

meanwhile nanami is like “i wish reader would stop pushing me to be with her friend and just realize she’s the one i’m in love with. but alas she is a fucking idiot.”

(and reader’s friend is just. really in love with this farmer guy. perhaps choso?? so she is also like. i wish the two fucking idiots would keep me out of this so i can go marry the hot farmer and live happily ever after.)

i think nanami would make a perfect mr. knightley. he’s the one that says “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more.” there is so much yearning there sighhhhhh……… i need to bite him.

WAIT. IM SO GOING TO WATCH THE MOVIE because it seems so chaotic HELPPPP

wait i literally love this LMAOOO i feel like this would be so nanami core.....and the yearning??? god i love the misunderstanding and angst/comfort potential in this......i also love that he's a family friend i am such a sucker for those types of tropes. it kinda gives penelope and colin too

alba i love your brain....the “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more” is KILLING me i need him. ilysm im sooo gonna use it as inspo <333

[nanaslutt]

1. THANK YOU ino is the sweetest ever and he deserves all the love :,) super underrated imo

2. FUCK YEAH IM EVERYONES GRANDFATHER‼️‼️‼️

3. in love you say ^.^ i will do my best

4. i know who this isssss hehehe thank you so much <3

5. WHAAAAAAT how cute!! what kinda puppy is it??

6. YES!! i’ll add u to the anon list rn :) i looove making smaus so making the effort to post every day is so worth it, i usually do it at the same time every day after i workout and its so relaxing

7. once again a bit late to responding to these so i’m assuming this was from my angst smau, thank you for your forgiveness :3

8. AWWWWW BAEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH :(( I LOB U IM SO HAPPY U LOVE HOW I CHARACTERIZE THEM <333

9. HELPPPP ur so right, i unironically love that ship so much LOL

[slut4thebroken]

Who wants to beta this for me? I need an opinion on how to end it cause I can’t decide lol

This is the summary btw: “Jason missed yet another date, but this time it was your breaking point.” Just so y’all know in case you don’t want to read angst lol

“I’m not getting your father’s blessing though. I’d say it’s out of respect for you as an autonomous woman in the 21st century, but it’s more just out of spite.”

Jason 🤝 being Bruce’s #1 hater