#helped my nerves so much
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Love buying and listening to the VHS Christmas Carols album while on the way to get top surgery.
Officially my favorite past time
(also yay!!!! Top surgery!!!!)
#vhsccs#vhs christmas carols#transgender#this is also functioning as a promo for the cast album#GO AND GET IT!!!#its so freakin good#i absolutely adore it#helped my nerves so much#anyways now to begin the wait to actually get into surgery lol
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Hey, so, am I the only one who remembers that just a few episodes ago—and literally just the other night in-game—Orym was given Otohan’s sword the first time and the group agreed that it should be his to deal with? That he walked off on his own with it, full of grief and anguish, and they all let him have his moment? How that was literally just a day ago?
And now, just a day later, Laudna is looking at him with total betrayal that he’s actually wielding the sword.
Just a thought.
#the nerve of him to make a decision about the weapon that everyone in the group agreed to let him make a decision about#no but seriously I love these crazy fuckers so much#I don’t know if I could handle that kind of hypocrisy and inner-party conflict at my table#but it is so goddamn delicious watching it play out on the big screen#also someone get laudna some help and stop enabling her addiction please?#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#cr orym#cr laudna#orym of the air ashari#laudna
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okaaayy
#my art#doodles#dan vs#the bad guys#sam and max#pinky and the brain#ren and stimpy#this brush is rly rly fun to scribble with so thats p much what ive been doing#my favorite genre of fictional character is horrible unhinged little men#varying degrees of unhinged depicted here#anyway ya. it feels good to mindlessly scribble u kno#esp before work. helps w my nerves#crossover
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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For sy attendant au - what are SQQ attitude and feelings towards SY, if you don't mind me asking?
Because what I read so far hadn't painted him in good light. Like sure - he wants to survive and SY is an key asset in that, but the way he goes around it is... questionable.
so i answered this ask about it but i just realized that i dont think i tagged it with anything so. MY BAD thats my bad
the long and short of it is that sqq is definitely not a good person in this au lol. granted theres less of the overt child abuse because sy is able to stop some of that but sy still is very much a servant to him. one of the better things about this au is that sqq really just sees sy as a means to an end.. there is some attachment to him but sqq really does not really see sy as someone with his own agenda outside of like. living comfortably. its kind of good in a way that like sqq will grant sy a general amount of mobility around the sect because of sy's vague position and he doesnt reeaally care what shen yuan is doing if its not actively doing work for the peak or sqq.
sqq really sees sy as more of like. a political pawn? in a way. like he keeps sy close for appearances around the sect and he does in some way feel like hes doing charity work because by extension of working for him sy is granted a fair amount of power and status. but he doesnt care what shen yuan does in his free time or for fun. sqq is not the worst person of all in this au but he is definitely someone who isnt afraid of using others to help himself. that and like. its definitely a pat on the back for him of being able to say "well you were sent here to take my place and instead of killing you as was my right i HELPED you and i even gave you your own place on this peak and look at you now. youre mingling with some of the best and the brightest that the cultivation world has to offer" like nevermind that he isnt interested in helping sy with his own cultivation lawl
ok that wasnt short at all sorry but sqq is using sy but he also feels like hes helping him a bit. its a pretty unequal give and take so they definitely have an unhealthy relationship. that being said i think sy goes out of his way to misunderstand sqq a lot because he allows his hate of sqq to shape how he sees his actions.. so he doesnt put a lot of effort into actually examining how sqq differs from the book. also now that ive had a lot of time to think on this au i dont really think that sy's end goal in all of this would be to LEAVE as much as it would be he would want an actual firm position and leverage over sqq so he didnt feel so unstable. that and he does feel indebted to sqq. he could probably handle being around the guy if sqq didnt have so much say over his life
#sy attendant au#and when i say being around the guy i mean that shen yuan would snark at him a lot and yell and theyd both get on each others nerves#but shen yuan wouldnt feel compelled to like. actually damage his cultivation or poison his tea#and sqq finds it hard to relate to sy because he literally appeared by a higher being dropping him from another world#and sy is so fundamentally different in his modern beliefs that sqq feels both that hes hardening him up and protecting him by making#him his assistant. to him its kind of like helping a venomous insect and then keeping it in a terrarium to study LOL#and yeah its rly questionable i think its funny if they had a really unhealthy relationship. gay people LOSE!#ok sorry i always say so much but its because i have so much to say.. thanks for asking! i love talking about my aus#svsss#asks
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What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.
+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)
#pathologic#pathologic 2#andrey stamatin#yulia lyuricheva#eva yan#evandrey#yulieva#evaandrey#Eva yahn#Andrei Stamatin#see I think that Eva is very okay with Eva being how she is- promiscuous and spreading her love (Maybe a little jealous but more rooted in#self loathing and insecurities)#and she’s like look I’m okay with this whole open relationship (technically we aren’t in a relationship even though I really want to be)#thing BUT why HIM. I have to work with him and he’s by far the worst man I’ve ever worked with (besides maybe his brother because at least#Andrey actually talks but really they’re a package deal anyways) I need to have meetings with him often and it’s horrendous every time#like spread your love it’s noble really.#I wouldn’t expect anything else from you#but maybe give him less he’s annoying as hell#I also think that she’d figure out pretty quickly that Andrey and Peter killed Farkhad#just bcuz like. yk she’s there. she’s seen the already shaky relationship crumble beyond repair. she’s seen them argue in meetings.#she knows the stamatwins are not above murder. especially for art. and she’s clever.#And andrey knows that so he doesn’t try to hide it. she doesn’t have recourse anyways-#the kains (who I think helped cover up the murder) employ her too#and andrey respects her to a degree- he assumes she’ll see reason.#and honesty. Yulia might be upset that Andrey killed one of the only other architects but also she does not miss him that much.#she’s like I don’t agree with this whole murder thing but you are kind of right he had to go he was getting on my nerves#the meetings will be 10x more tolerable now that the twins can’t argue with him about things that aren’t even real#it’s awful but it did drive Eva further into my arms so necessary evils.#my art#sorry for the essay in the tags.
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i made a rough timeline for the clone^2 au, just for my own convenience sake when dating things. some things might be out of order from the episode date, and thats also for my convenience.
September 3rd: Danny, age 14, has the accident in the lab that turns him liminal
September 10th: Danny is discharged from the hospital and given two weeks leave from school
September 24th: his sick leave ends, and Danny returns to school
October 14th: Danny sneaks into his parents' basement and releases the ghosts they have trapped in cages. Official birth of the vigilante, Phantom
November 27th: Danny fights Pariah Dark, and wins
December 24th: the Ghost Writer torments Danny
February 12th: Danny's 15th birthday
March 3rd: its been six months since Danny's accident
March 7th: Danny fights his evil future self
May 8th: Danny meets Ellie [age 15] and they become twins
December 14th: Danny finds out from his parents that he's a clone
February 12th: Danny's 16th birthday
Early-Mid April: Danny meets Damian [age 6] :)
Mid-Late April: Damian runs off for the first time, damages Danny's hands the first time
May: Damian runs off two more times in the span of three weeks, he damages Danny's hands both times.
Early June: Damian runs off one more time, damages Danny's hands again, resulting in permanent nerve damage.
Mid-Late June: Damian finally gives up on the League coming to get him and joins the Fenton Family.
July: Damian finally coaxes Danny into letting him come along with him on patrol: Wraith is born.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#this only focuses on the earlier parts of the au because those are most important imo. figuring out when danny's accident was. when he#became phantom. when he met damian. etc. is all pretty important stuff and helps me figure out ages beyond '10 year gap'#not super important stuff to much anyone else i think but its nice to have it written down as reference#i usually put danny's accident as happening at the beginning of the school year. tis convenient that way#me: hmmm when do i make danny find out he's a clone. beginning of the school year makes the most sense right???#me:....or.... i could ruin his christmas again :)#thought about increasing the amount of times damian runs off but... thats a LOT of time he's run off and i didnt want to go overboard#same thing with danny's hands. thought about hurting him more frequently but honestly taking a blade to the hand is already damaging enough#on its own. catch a blade with his hands four times would be enough to cause permanent nerve damage and also he would have learned his#lesson if it happened more frequently.#so damian runs off 4 times in the span of essentially 2 months#and four times danny catches his blade. three times he got cut. one time he needed stitches#anyways thats the timeline for now. made totally for convenience sake and no other reason#totally dont look at my google docs there’s nothing there but half forgotten wips and cfau master doc
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why is the concept of showing empathy for drug/alcohol addicts so hard to understand for some ppl? v.v they suffer too sis, that problem has to come from somewhere and i bet most of them would rather not be addicted in the first place. some people don't know what nuance is i swear. am i crazy for having empathy with addicts??? i don't think so.
#tw drinking#tw alcohol abuse#tw depression#tw addiction#context: i have a friend i've known for a long time (i use the term friend loosely because she's getting on my nerves A LOT lately#and every time i show an ounce of empathy for someone whose addicted to any kind of substance she gets judgy as hell#and uses my personal experience against me to try and change my mind#“but didn't your dad drink himself to death and made life so hard for you and your family?”#sis °-° he had manic depressive episodes and drinking was his coping mechanism for it#he was never abusive towards other people only to himself but ofc watching him wasting away when i was a teen was fucking hard.#he also grew up in a time where mental health problems weren't talked about as much as it is today especially regarding men#so he had a hard time getting help#addiction is a symptom to a bigger problem most if not all of the time but so many people don't see that shit#they just talk for the sake of talking v.v#ofc are some addicts also abusive to others and that's not okay#but that problem comes from somewhere#also she is a smoker btw just saying ;)#sorry for rambling#needing to VENT °.°#prolly delete later#cw drinking#cw depression#cw addiction
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I see your tags on the Wocky and Alita art, I would love to hear your thoughts on Alita actually!
I only need one person to show interest in what I have to say for me to talk forever and ever, thank you. HAHA Okay, in seriousness, this won't be as thorough/long as the Klavier post because... there really isn't much to her, but I find it extremely interesting how Alita falls into the same category of witnesses as April May and Dahlia without being — and I mean no offence to her when I say this — stunning? Like, with April and Dahlia, there's a very clear mass appeal to them which most people point out. Contrariwise, Alita's appearance is really only commented on by Trucy, and just glancing at her portrait, you can see that, without her slightly outlandish fashion, she's frankly nothing to write home about.
So why am I discussing this? Surely it's a little reductive to analyse female characters beginning with their appearances? Usually, yes, but that's the thing about this category of witnesses: their pretty faces aren't just pretty faces.
For April and Dahlia, their beauty is part of their arsenal. It functions as both their defence and their weapon of choice; they know how to wield it to bring people under their heel. Alita being ordinarily pretty instead of drop-dead gorgeous deprives her of that weapon and leads you to wonder how she became a mafia heiress to begin with. It also parallels her to Mimi Miney in a way that goes beyond the 'murderous nurse who worked for and killed her awful boss' comparison you get on the surface. Presumably, Alita, like Mimi, only got to where she was because she managed to fool the people around her into believing she was less dangerous than she actually is. Mimi did this by feigning stupidity and inviting people to underestimate her. Alita seems to do this by showing them what they want to see.
When she first meets Apollo and Trucy, Alita stays quiet and spends more time listening to them than she does talking. Once she has a hold on who they are, then she slips into her persona, and I find it interesting how she doesn't even attempt to come across as particularly delicate or lovelorn? Instead she goes for the relatively typical role of a distressed, indulgent loved one earnestly entreating Apollo for help. I'm inclined to say she does this because her read on Apollo makes her realise that he'd likely be exasperated or annoyed by such a person; but it's also almost as if she knows she doesn't have the disposition to pull off that frail, damsel-in-distress archetype and has resigned herself to being ordinary. Like how she looks. The next time she has to reapply her persona, Alita's appearing in court, and again she makes subtle adjustments that best suit her situation. The judge is old, so she takes a chance on expressing her dedication as a wife while balancing her dedication as a righteous citizen, which works. But oddly enough, despite her successes, I don't think Alita is actually good? At donning disguises? Everyone I've seen discuss this case has been able to guess almost immediately that she's the culprit, and maybe we're just prepped by past characters like her that have appeared, but I don't think she's even that convincing in the game.
Both the identities she assumes are risky manoeuvres that happen to fall in her favour, and she's not particularly dedicated to maintaining the front. When she asks Apollo to be Wocky's defence, she admits that marrying him is largely a chance at a more exciting life than some great love story; Plum Kitaki straight up says that there's a darkness in Alita she doesn't like, despite how docile Alita behaves in front of her; and Wocky has moments where he slips up and calls her things like, "imposter" and "fallen angel", implying that at least subconsciously, he knows she's not what she makes herself out to be. Even her general mannerisms don't greatly differ between her actual self and the mask who's blunt her claws — nothing is ever overtly coy or cutesy — and when Apollo brings up the fact she was Wocky's nurse, she drops the facade almost immediately. There's no waffling, no, "Whatever do you mean?"s or, "You're scaring me"s, just the statement, "I don't know what you mean by 'meaning', Mr. Justice!" delivered in a sudden cool, frosted steeliness.
And I think that steel is what really makes her different.
See, the other women are all driven to crime by some defining trait in themselves caused by their circumstances. For Dahlia, it's her desperate need to be free of the Fey clan; for Mimi, it's grief over her sister's unjust death; and for April, it's her fear of Redd White. You don't really get that with Alita. Instead of there being something dark in her life that leads her down this path, she just seems... tired. Tired of being "pretty enough" but not "gorgeous", tired of being the obedient nurse to the corrupt doctor, tired of being ordinary. There's no predatory external force pushing her into a corner, there's no abusive family beliefs pinning her down. There's just an ordinary life, lived dull and ordinarily, and she had had enough. So what does this girl, who's tired and ordinary in every way except the steel that lines her spine, do to get out of this?
She gambles.
Marrying into the mafia was a gamble, seeking Apollo as council was a gamble, shooting Dr. Meraktis was a gamble. Every decision she's made since she met Wocky has been a series of high-stakes gambles that leave her life on the line all so she won't be second-best anymore. This time, she was going to be the one on top. No matter what.
... And I'm sorry for loving evil women, but girlboss?? Girlboss???
I've heard people say they're disappointed that her "breakdown" is just an extension of her usual damage sprite, but it's honestly one of my favourite "breakdowns" in the series ever? Just because it isn't really one? Everything Alita has done up till now has been reckless, calculated risk, of course being convicted for murder is no different than losing in any other aspect of her life. Of course you're not going to get more than her damaged sprite, because this doesn't warrant a more dramatic reaction. She's lived this whole time knowing it could all come crashing down around her, and it finally did.
She made a bad bet. You caught her. Oh well.
The frosted girl of steel, standing tall to the very end. It's kind of sad that, even after all that, she's still seen as only second-best, incomparable to mimi, dahlia or any of the other women who've stood in her place.
#alita tiala#ace attorney apollo justice#my inability to shut up has made me liar again 😔 it's not thorough but it is long.#i know it's weird that me saying she's more than what she seems is essentially me pointing out how flat she is compared to everyone else#(no tragic backstory or deeper hidden motive)#but i cant help it!! i think the evilness is sexy!!! like people love to make dahlia out as this heartless bitch but she's really not.#she's traumatised and lashing out. but alita? alita with her nerves of steel boredom with her ordinary life and raw selfishness pushing her#to take more and more and more??? alita is your girl for that. im sorry for loving evil women but god. she makes me so giddy. the lengths#she's willing to go to just to stand above everyone for once in her life is so... god!!!!!! im sorry. she makes my heart flutter.#kristoph wishes he had half her resolve and idgaf attitude#asks for the notebook#thank you for the ask omg. i forgot to say that. it was so much fun to answer and i hope you got something out of it 💗♥️💖💘💓💞💕💝💓💗💖
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ok bro so i don't know how to make this post SDJFHSH and say hi hello i missed everyone without being awkward and facing cricket noises since it's been over a year since i’ve logged in LMFAO and ppl still following r gonna be like ??? but .... ASKDUSDL HELLO!!!!! 🙂↕️ to everyone that is still here ... <3
I MISSED YA'LL SM OMG ;---; i hope some of you still remember me so this won’t be too awkward 🙂↕️🙏
on that note!!!! i have returned because i have really bad gojo and isagi brainrot since rewatching/rereading jjk + getting into bllk
+ i have so many fics i have completed that i want to post !!! i have been cooking in isolation and after much needed self-growth and love in writing <3 ;v; (gojo, isagi, and nanami ones mostly lmaoo AND ALSO A SUKUNA SERIES I WANT TO POST) AND IDK WHAT TO POST FIRST LOL
also to the mutuals (that remain... <3) please do not be alarmed if u see me in ur notifs reblogging fics for my current faves and yapping in ur tags 🙂↔️ like in the next few days LMFAO i have been deprived of reading good fic for soooo long bruh and now im like. I NEED TO READ FOR GOJO AND ISAGI SO BAD…. i missed fic so bad...
would ya'll be chill if i posted writing out of the blue here lmao and changed my username ??... it wouldn't be too awkward ?? 🙂↔️ (for the username i will change it in a few days despite my impatience so i give everybody like a chance to get used to me being on their dash so it won't be too alarming LMAOO)
#i am way too lazy to make a new blog from scratch lol#idk how to post its been so long KSJDFHS (ALSO WHY IS TUMBLR SO SKINNY NOW LIKE THE DASH IS SO NARROW IM LIKE CONFUSED LMFAOO???)#also tf r community labels what is this... saw a notif on a dumb shitpost of mine and it is labeled?? as that KJHDSF idk what that means#so much as happened in the past year idek where to start but i am here to stay if u will have me ^_^ <3#HELP IM BEING SO AWKWARD THIS WILL GO AWAY THE MORE I POST I JUST. whew getting this post out into the dash is nerve wracking bro lmfaoo#over a year completely away from tumblr was strange cuz idk how to behave LOL#i do wanna post here so i just wanted to make this post in advance and like greet everyone and interact w everybody so its not too-#-awkward once i start posting writing and reblogging n such LMAOO#and also posting blog maintenance stuff :3#KSJDHF LETS RIP THE BANDAID OFF AS THEY SAY#i am so excited !!!!!#i thought about some of u guys while being away from the app and just kjshdf i hope some of u r still here ;___;#i've also figured my interests n stuff out a lot this past year...#found out im bi gender also so. weeee ...
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for the writing game (that's a cool idea btw!! and safe travels!)
6 ✨
The Feligami Song Ever! It was at the very top of my playlist last year! 💜🦚❤️🐉
It’s depressing, Felix thinks, how little people truly want out of life.
#And thank you so much! The writing did help settle my nerves! ❤️#miraculous ladybug#felix graham de vanily#kagami tsurugi#feligami#nina writes#ask games
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Second request: baby todd and Jake fluff perhaps? 💖
Day 12 - Little hands, my one weakness
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Edgar#Jake#Todd#Uncle Jake! :D#It's funny ♪ I actually asked how Jake might react to baby Todd while I was still making a bunch of those doodles#But I never actually drew anything from it! Even though it's so cute!#I did fully intend to - so I'm glad I can now! :D Thanks for the reminder haha#Jake so nervous with Just how baby this baby is haha - he's so much bigger than this little one!#It's all well and good to hold Edgar - he's an adult! As much as he wants to give him a good hug haha#But little ones are just so fragile! It's nerve-wracking ♥ It's sweet hehe 💕#Babies are built tough - he'll be asking for uppies and spins and to be thrown around before you know it lol#I do love the idea of Edgar having not only a good support system as a single(?) parent -#Being able to ask Devi and Jake for help when he needs it and raises a family as a group! It takes a village#But also of him settling into the parent role and being confident in places that others aren't#He can be quite capable but he's also often prone to being kicked while he's down haha poor lad#Seeing him confident and happy to have someone to rely on and have Jake defer to him on I just jfdlsafjd ♥💕💖#Directing his hands in return <3 They uplift each other!! It can be so sweet
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To those of you sharing and still sending money I want y’all know I have made a little savings thing and it’s all going towards our bills, and it’s so incredibly helpful to be able to send my mom some cash when I know she’s panicking about our shit about to be cut off
#my mom has a bad back and before that she was the primary caretaker of my autistic brother#so she hasn’t been able to work in a long time#and now that we have no idea what’s wrong with her back and nerves#and no doctor will help#it’s just been a rough time#especially after losing my granny this year#so it really means so much to us
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am desperately hanging onto this tianwang brain rot because it keeps me going and paints an image in my head that they'll be with me forever. i won't stop thinking about them until i get to see tianwang being together and in love and find each other during adulthood and love each other for eternity
#tianwang keeps me sane#and they drive me insane#as the new semester approaches... i'm anxious#i just sent my draft proposal a few days ago#waiting for my supervisor to have a look and give feedback#i honestly feel like i can puke every day waiting for the feedback#but until then#tianwang helps me cope with the nerves#//i miss them ok#i miss them so much#tianwang#the on1y one#na rambles
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Help
#art#artist#digital art#fan art#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#alastor#I pinched a nerve in my neck 7 hours ago#AND IT STILL HURTS SO MUCH#HELP
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you know what, i feel for USAmericans, I do, and I'm devastated abt what this will mean and what impact this will have both for y'all and globally, however, kinda sick of everyone being in a state of mourning, as if elections like this haven't been happening everywhere and bigger tragedies aren't occuring, like it's not opression olympics or anything, but god, the world truly must stand still whenever something happens in the USA and it's annoying and exhausting sometimes
#yes i did reblog some of the shit im complaining abt here#bc i empathize#we have a right wing party too#however it's just everywhere and it's like ugj#im probably not explaining this right#but the whole internet flooding as if this is the worst thing ever is getting on my nerves#i want to be aware of global happenings and help out#but i feel like we're all forced to care about the usa so much#and im sick of it#and i have the privileged position of being from a western european country#like sometimes people on the internet care abt what's happening here#i cant imagine how much more annoying this is for someone from South America or southwest Asia or Asia in general or Africa#rrrambles#vent
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