#help what is this wlw bullshit
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obsidiancrest · 6 months ago
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i look for you in cat and initial duos videos, i am too scared to directly talk to you, you dont think about me, you know how it is
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olderthannetfic · 13 days ago
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Quote from a post: "the things created within fandom aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fanfiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.
which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men - especially straight men - on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual [an understanding of queerness which is another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it.]"
Okay this is from a big post from a big fandom account here please don't speculate who it is this is not about them specifically and has nothing to do with them i genuinely respect this poster and they are nothing but a supportive space and don't have any anti-nonsense. But I wanna talk about this point that they are making "the society is queering straight friendships" which is something also the anti-fujoshi crowd is saying and honestly I can't agree with that point.
I don't think its us the people who make fandom are queering the relationships between two straight men but the patriarchal system we live under and straight men themselves are doing it to themselves. They can't show love and affection to each other lest other dudes will call them gay not because there are secret fujoshis around that sexualize them. They can be vulnerable period lest everyone calls them whiney like women. I feel like (and most of the things I say here are vibes, not facts) men having close friendships with other men are green flags, and most women are excited to see men who have exact the strong relationship that are portrayed in media.
I'm confused by this talking point to be honest. I also understand that by saying everything I said above I sort of said the same thing as the original poster. In a sense that society is the problem here and we live in a society as we know, but... idk I feel like what they say is "we live in a society where everyone by default is sexualizing male friendships" which sounds like the standard anti-fujoshi talking point to me.
And regarding the point of romantic relationships being prioritized over platonic— I feel like is a complete bullshit to be honest.
Romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones across the board. Straight couples leave their straight friends behind when they get further into relationship too! I don't understand this impulse to constantly talk about romantic vs platonic thing when its about queer ships, and maybe there is somewhere straight ship discourse about romantic vs plantonic but its not as big as with mlm or wlw ships.
And honestly even with this take I feel like romantic relationships are also not prioritized but rather are more encouraged. And there is difference between encouraging and actually prioritizing I think.
(I want to add here that I'm not aroace so maybe its a blindspot and from that identitys point of view the dynamics might be different)
In reality I think both are equally hard to obtain and maintain. I always felt like the fandom being so shipping focused was not about people being hellbent on romance but just the fact that good love stories are few and far between both in fiction and IRL and we can't help but try to make something at least remotely good, or interesting or satisfying.
Again, my main problems is: 1) I don't agree that romantic relationships are prioritized to that high degree over the friendships like everyone claims. 2) I don't think that every single person is actually a secret fujoshi waiting to make any straight male friendship gay. 3) Fandoms are romantic ship centric because people just want more narratively satisfying romantic stories that are underrepresented in media (or they don't get to experience it IRL) rather than they are vehemently against platonic ships.
I don't know this hopefully came out coherent.
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The person who wrote that sounds like a pretentious twatwaffle, and I am so sick of seeing otherwise reasonable people spout that crap. That's been true since the 90s and probably before.
The reality is that Western culture enshrines male friendship as the highest form of affection possible. This goes back to the Classical world. And, yes, they were probably fucking too back then, but the thing that all of the media is about is friendship.
The entire backbone of Western culture is built on the idea that men are spiritually, biologically, inherently more capable than women of this highest form of relationship. Romance is the big thing for women because we're not eligible for The Pure And Holy Friendship Between Two Men.
The epidemic of male loneliness is real, but we haven't gotten any less "Bros before hos". Fandom and m/m shipping behavior are irrelevant to this.
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Furthermore, fandom has plenty of people who don't focus on shipping.
AO3 was built by slashers, so ship type is a top-level category, and the site obviously signals that it's about shipping and particularly non heterosexual shipping since you can filter out het.
Past sites often had more metadata that wasn't around ships (e.g. FFN's genres that work like bookstore genres) and almost never let you get rid of het. You might have been able to filter in The Gay, but straight stuff was literally unmarked.
~We do need to be aware of~
Bite me.
This naggy phrase is everywhere, and nothing good comes of it.
The only thing we need to be aware of is that Blorbo is great and s/he should be mashed together with Other Blorbo. If that's in gen adventures, you do you.
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faithsxoxo · 7 months ago
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hi ! i hope you’re having a good day :) could you write a reagan ridley x fem/gn reader one shot, totally up to you ! i don’t really have anything in mind so feel free to play around with it however you like, would love if it had a bunch of fluff though ! thank you sm, stay hydrated and take care of yourself <33
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pairings :: reagan ridley x fem!reader (established relationship) warnings :: none note :: my girl needs WAY more wlw appreciation (i love her)
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The mechanical door to Reagan's office slams open, making you flinch. The brunette storms in, clutching a pile of crumpled papers.
"Hey, Reag, you alright?" You stand from your designated spot near her desk.
"I'm fine. No big deal, just my dad screwing me over as always," She grumbles. "He's decided that my work from the past month isn't up to 'Ridley standard' so I have to redo it all."
You can see Reagan visibly crumple as she flips through the pages she spent so long on. You didn't have a clue what any of it was about, but you knew it was complicated.
"I'm sorry," You whisper as you wrap your arms around her torso.
"It's not your fault," She mumbles, leaning into your touch.
"I know. Maybe I could help?" You rest your head in the crook of her neck. "We can go home.. have a spa day.. watch a movie.. stop worrying about this bullshit."
Reagan grins softly and shakes her head. "Tempting, but I have a deadline."
With that you can see the shift in her demeanor. She frowns and pulls away from your hold, reaching for the papers once again.
"No," You grab her arm and gently pull her away. "Not happening. We're going home if you like it or not."
"But-"
"No. I suddenly came on with an illness because I spent too long in the genetics department, and you came to take care of me. No buts," You link her arm with yours and lead her to the door.
"Twenty four hours, no work. Got it?" You give Reagan a stern look.
She shakes her head with a chuckle.
"Yeah, yeah. Got it."
Barely twenty minutes later, Reagan is sitting cross legged in front of you.
"Ugh, it's cold," She winces as you apply the face mask.
"Its hydrating. Alright, pick out a movie. I'm gonna go check on the popcorn," You finish with a peck on the lips, before skipping off to the kitchen of your small apartment. She had only moved in with you a few months prior, for your one year anniversary. Reagan had been desperate to escape from living with her dad any longer.
You take a moment to admire her while shes distracted. Reagan in her full beauty, splayed out on your cream couch. Her face is painted green, yet in your eyes she's still the pinacle of perfection. You take note of how relaxed she looks compared to the tense bundle of nerves she had been previously.
"Are you going to get the popcorn or are you going to keep ogling me?" Reagan calls across the room.
"I dont know, ogling seems pretty tempting," You grin back.
She rolls her eyes with a small huff, but you can see the corners of her lips turning up slightly. You swiftly grab the popcorn and return to your place on the couch.
"Hey," She grins softly at you as you curl into her side.
"Hey. What movie did you pick out?"
"Space Jam."
"Ugh, seriously?" You shake your head and giggle.
"What?" Reagan protests. "It's a good movie!"
"Suuuure. You gonna bring out your old prom dress with it?" You tease.
She smacks you on the arm playfully.
"It would be an honor to see me in that dress, I don't think you deserve it."
"Oh, right, after I've spent all this time giving you a spa day this is how you treat me," You cross your arms and begin to pull away.
"Maybe I'll just go eat popcorn by myself."
Reagan pulls you back towards her, wrapping her arms around your midsection.
"Too late, you're stuck with me," She announces, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
You sigh, leaning back into her.
"I guess I can live with that."
Reagan turns on the movie as you snuggle into her. With the dim light of the TV, both of you eventually drift off in eachothers arms, finally in complete peace.
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taisgf · 8 days ago
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What about a relationship with the yellowjackets girls post-rescue. Or what about 25 years later, reuniting with them. Like in the show, they all find a way to come back together, but with the weight of their shared history in the wilderness, how would that be? Would old feelings rekindle? (By the way, I love your writing!)
hc. reunion with the adult timeline yj girls (shauna, tai, van, lottie, nat)
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A/N: sorry this is a bit small nonnie!! and that i took so long… this is such a cool ask so I had to do it 😈 and again peep the van favouritism. a bit nsfw tee hee, implied wlw (duh), drugs n shit, van’s cancer😔 not proofread because nnnmnhnhb….. uhhh mmm. nah.
NATALIE:
Natalie would be almost embarrassed to see you again after it all. Being such a pillar within the group in the wilderness, and having lost herself so much after would really hit her when she sees you again.
You’re engraved in Nat’s mind during those 20-something years, a spit image of your face lurking in her subconscious. Somehow, each time Natalie found herself blacking out, or hitting the peak of her high, you’d come to mind. Your face, looking at her- and suddenly she’s 17 again, sat next to you by a fire.
Natalie would be torn between never wanting to see you again, and craving your company so deeply. So when you’re thrust into her life again, likely by Misty’s influence- she doesn’t quite know how to react.
You’d catch her staring- all interactions short, yet packed. As things with Lottie pick up, Nat would be quick to defend you, never leaving a few metres distance just like she used to.
After that, she wouldn’t be as subtle about her feelings toward you. She’d be hesitant to go into anything serious let alone long term, but having you back with her would do a lot for Nat. She’d have someone she can really trust- and who would that be if not you?
Any intimacy with adult timeline Nat would be wild, impromptu and more than likely when you’re both under the influence. Rough, and fast and heated- but lying together after? Maybe, if you’re lucky, Nat would let you look into her soul a little. Maybe she’d let you in. Keep at it and who knows where you two would end up.
TLDR; Nat’s very confused. But aroused?
VAN:
Reuniting with Van would definitely go the smoothest out of all the girls (women)? She’d let you stay in her shop, keeping you for days- enticing you with nostalgic movies and shows you’d watch together as teenagers. Cuddled up at night referencing some dumbass sitcom- watching all the films that came out while you were stranded that you never got to experience together as teenagers. Dumb reality TV, some Jim Carrey ‘AS SEEN ON VHS’ movie for the 80th time- anything to be close to you.
Van wouldn’t be the one to bring up getting back together by any means, but she wouldn’t shut it down either. It would be great for a while- until you find her discreetly sneaking around her medicine cabinet, or her constant complains of pain. Van would gradually grow distant, and knowing her- you’d pick up on it pretty fast.
She’d be reluctant to let you know about her cancer- but it would be a huge weight off her shoulders once she did. She’d be able to enjoy your time together way more, and your company would make her feel a lot better.
Chances are you’d be with Van a good while before all of the things with Lottie and the others- meaning you’d meet back with the group as a united front, secure and positive through all the bullshit. You’d be a huge anchor for Van through it all- and no doubt she would be for you too.
(Van’s cancer was totally cured btw. Showtime told me themself sorry) (I’ll be so mad if she dies) (my baby….)
Van’s still silly as shit, too. Everything that happened in the wilderness would no doubt just become fodder for her twisted sense of humour, but deep down she’s deeply hurt. Having you back and repairing those old relationships would really help her, more than you could understand.
Adult van’s strap is like. That retro pinky-reddy-orangey by the way. Canon. I can see the future (and because she used it on me yesterday)
TAI:
I feel like reuniting with Tai before everything would be rather inevitable. She’s a public figure- and after months and months of seeing her on TV, you’d reunite- maybe teaching Sammy at school, only to see her walk in for a parent-teacher conference. Maybe you’d see her posters around, enticing you to vote for her.
(I want to write a reunion, Sammy’s-teacher fic now💔)
Tai has legitimately nobody to confide in about what happened- and with all the drama surrounding her campaign for senator, you can imagine how relieved she was when you find your way back into her life.
I imagine you’d reunite at the peak of her stress; maybe after the whole ‘SPILL’ drama. Tai’s sleepwalking again, she knows it- and she remembers how it was you who knew how to calm her. So, when you drunkenly stumble your way into her bed after meeting in a bar she’s not surprised that she can finally sleep the whole night. Only with you does Tai ever feel well rested. Only in your arms can she relax.
Which, given Tai’s whole marital downfall, would lead to a passionate and almost desperate love affair. Change my mind- wait, you can’t. It would be almost scandalous, the fact that the esteemed senator candidate and yourself, both having endured the wilderness together, are together. If the press found out, they’d have a fit. Tai never fails to remind you this, so your relationship would be kept under tight, tight wraps.
Any intimacy with adult Tai would go one of two ways. Option 1, as an act of comfort. To remedy sadness, take that stress of eachother’s shoulders. Slow, and tender- a mature kind of love, like Tai’s always been. You’d lie for hours after, talking. Maybe you’d unload about all the nightmares and flashbacks to the wilderness, or maybe Tai would ramble about Sammy and [WIFE NAME].
Or, option 2. Rough, angry sessions that last hours at a time. Unloading all of the bottled up negative emotions which between the two of you is enough to last a lifetime. Tai would pull your hair, rut into you without a care of how you might bruise- or maybe she’d let you dig your nails into her thighs, bite at her skin and just pray that it wouldn’t show the next day in time for her meeting.
LOTTIE:
I feel like reuniting with Lottie at her retreat alongside the other girls is the obvious answer, but I’m inclined to say that you’d actually turn up a good while earlier.
Lottie’s presence in your life would never cease- not since you’d met her, no matter where she was or where you are. Lottie lingers- and she always will.
She’d think that some spiritual presence, be it fate or the wilderness drew you back to her. That of course you found your way back to her somehow. You were Lottie’s girl the second that plane went down, and there’s no doubt in her mind that you’ll always be.
That’s why she’s so happy to see you at the gates of her commune- eagerly offering you a room in her best suite, right beside her own. She’s cater to your every want, showing you around and explaining how everything’s connected to what you all experienced out there.
And no doubt, you’d fall for it. Maybe you’d want to. Either way, you do. With Lottie, old feelings don’t rekindle per se, they were always just there. Even when you didn’t talk, even when she was god knows where- Lottie was there, and so were you.
Having sex with adult Lottie would be less ritualistic and spiritual than it used to be when you were out in the wild. At first, it might even seem normal. But, the passionate sensuality, the way she worships you and insists that ’no, no, you just lay back, let me take care of you’ or the way her tongue spells a prayer against you while her head’s buried between your thighs brings you back.
SHAUNA:
While with the other girls it’d likely be themselves or maybe the hand of fate drawing you back together, with Shauna it would have to be you starting things.
You’d reach out a few times- maybe she’d humour you, and you’d grab a coffee while you’re in town. Shauna couldn’t deny that it did make her feel a certain way and sure after a few drinks and if you were lucky enough to catch her during the whole ‘Jeff allegedly cheating’ thing, maybe she’d concede and you’d hook up.
As hard as I try, though, I can’t imagine it going any further. Shauna cares about you; of course she does. But, she’s resilient and now she has a whole family of her own. We see Shauna do her best to distance herself from everything that happened, and having you like that would only bring her back.
So, she’d blow you off. Maybe you’d be a new victim of her drunk, sad booty-calls, but beyond that? I don’t think Shauna would be so quick to get back together. But the love? Of course it’s still there.
(Sorry to my shauna girlies😔 I cannot lie and say she would because I just don’t think so!!)
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glorismorningstar · 4 months ago
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THE LION CHRONICLES
Pairings: Lute x f!reader, Carmilla Carmine x f! situationship!reader, fatherfigure!Alastor x f!reader
Summary: Now that Alastor's back, Y/N joins him at the Overlord meeting, where more information about the recent extermination is revealed. Later, her relationship with Carmilla has an interesting development.
Warnings: WLW, casual relationship, unrequited love, pain, heartbreak, lesbian smut (cw - fingering, oral, mommy kink, strap on, tail pulling), angst, violence, death, homophobia
A/N: I apologise in advance for everything, this part was so deep and interesting to write, contains a lot of character development and each part will contain more drama than the last *cough* episode 6 *cough cough*
| PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 |
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
"How much higher do you want it?" I ask as my tail wraps around the side of the ladder for balance, hands holding up the banner we made together.
"A little bit more... there,” Charlie says and got up from the other side of the ladder to hammer it down as Vaggie holds the ladder still. "That looks perfect! Aah! I'm so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel!"
"Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago." Vaggie points out.
"Well, I haven't seen him try any of that in here." Just as Charlie finishes the sentence, Pentious comes in with his Egg Bois, wheeling in something that looks like a cannon, but... fancier. Huh.
"What the Hell is that?”
"Oh, hello, purple female. It's my new invention, the SkinFlayer 11.000!" He hisses proudly, tipping his hat as the eggs chase each other around the room. One of them begins climbing up my tail and I yelp, then chuckled quietly and let him play with the fluffy tuft, swishing it from side to side. “I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents."
"What? Why?"
"Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared!" Ah, yeah, trust issues. That's a bitch. Been there, currently doing it. “Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here."
I turn to look at the doorway and beam, it was Clara and Odette, Carmilla's daughters. But as expected, they're delivering weapons to Pentious.
Damn it.
"Y/N!"
"Hello, girls." I smile and trot over to give each of them a hug. I look at the weapons and at Pentious before directing my gaze back to them with a nervous chuckle, “What's going on here?"
"We got a delivery at the Hazbin Hotel. We assumed you'd know something about it." Clara speaks as she unloads the boxes, while Odette asks for the signature. I run a hand over my face and sigh, this is exactly what I was supposed to stop from happening.
"Yeah, so did I." I sigh, burying a hand in my mane and looking at Vaggie with an apologetic grimace.
"Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase."
"Carmine? As in Carmilla Carmine? You're buying parts from an Overlord?"
"So, Y/N, are you coming to the meeting today?" Clara asks me. Since Alastor is back, I don't know how much he'd need my help, but then again, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I have a lot to do right now anyway.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I am. Tell your mother I said hi."
As soon as they leave, I redirect my attention to the Egg Bois playing with my tail. Apparently some others joined in while I was talking to Carmilla's daughters and began following me everywhere. I giggle and wag my tail for them to chase, leaping around the room and being extra careful not to squish them. One of them catches my tail and I smile, swishing it to curl around my hip so that I can look at the Egg properly. "Hello, little one. Do you have a name?”
"It's Frank, ma'am." The little creature says in a silly, goofy voice, which makes me giggle and shake his hand with my finger.
"My name is Y/N.” I introduce myself with a smile, eyes sparkling with cuteness overload when he grabs my finger.
"Hello, Y/N!"
"You absolutely cannot build weapons in this Hotel. No one wants to kill you. People are being nice to you because they want you to feel welcome!" Vaggie lectures with a raised finger. She gives off mom energy, I bet she and Charlie would make great parents one day.
Both Sir Pentious and I turn to look at the other members of the group: Husk is chugging on a bottle of booze in the bar and peeks at the serpent, then extends his middle finger; Angel Dust does the same, and Nifty stops her dusting to look in our direction with a creepy look that terrifies me to my very soul. And don't get me started on Alastor.
"Mhm, I have my doubts." Pentious hisses.
"Well, it's true. You have to trust us." Trust is a tricky thing. It's not easy to do so again after misplacing it so many times. Surprisingly, the one that taught me that was Sera. She first betrayed my trust when she agreed to punish Lucifer; she's the one in charge, the one that's supposed to preach forgiveness and generosity, yet she destroyed the life of a man that grew up with me - with us. The second time was when she approved the extermination. She'd be willing to murder human souls, men, women, children, all in an attempt to protect us? From what? And worse, she's the reason Lute puts herself in such danger by coming down here every year.
I don't know why I hide from her every extermination day. To be fair, I'm hiding
from them, not her. Adam, that frat boy of a commander, Celeste, that coward that resorted to homophobia when her tiny peanut brain couldn't come up with a comeback, and of course, all of her posse that tore my wings off and threw me down here... ugh, stop. I don't even have the courage to face my girlfriend now. She's an exorcist angel, she murders the damned for a living. What would she think of me if the sweet, (somewhat) well behaved girl she fell in love with became... this? A sinner.
I think that's why I never contacted Lucifer or Vaggie when I first got here. Lucifer is my childhood best friend, my partner-in-crime, and when he fell, I was far beyond devastated. I didn't know what I'd do without him, he's almost like my brother. We'd sneak out of the palace past curfew and get in trouble all the time. I tried everything to keep him from falling and I failed. I just don't think I'd have the courage to face him. And it's the same with Vaggie. We used to be friends when she first joined the army and got pretty close, and then I lost her, too. I ended up coming in contact with her when Alastor dragged me here, but I was still scared to death.
"Hey, Y/N, are you joining us for trust exercises today?" Charlie asks with a grin and slings an arm around my shoulder, which brings a smile to my face. She's Lucifer's daughter. My dearest friend's daughter. I'm so proud of her.
"As much as I'd like to solve my trust issues, I have a meeting to attend, dear.” I reply and ruffle her hair affectionately, chuckling softly and fixing my black and purple bow tie before walking upstairs to go get Alastor and leave.
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Rosie and the other Overlords are already there when Alastor, Zestial and I get to the meeting room. The first thing I do is lock eyes with Carmilla: there she stands, at the head of the table and with her daughters on either side of her. She flashes me a small smile from across the room, which I reciprocate and also give her a small wave. She chuckles quietly and returns the gesture, the affectionate glint in her eyes making my cheeks go pink as my ears pin back against my head in shyness. I smile at her once more before looking for a seat. I was hoping to sit next to Alastor, as usual, but he and Rosie must have lots of catching up to do, so I leave them be and opt for the other side of the table. The first chairs next to the head of the table are her daughters’, so I leave Clara her seat and begin to pull out the chair beside her. That's when I feel a big hand on my shoulder and immediately recognize it as Carmilla, her touches always feel like a wider than usual span of warmth. My ears perk up at the contact and at the sound of her angelic steel ballet slippers clicking on the floor and I smile at her once again. The Overlord rests her other hand on a fancier chair to the right of her own spot and offers, “You can sit here if you want.”
There are only two chairs like these in the room, one on either side of her. The left one is normally occupied by Zestial, with whom she's really close, and she's offering me the other seat. Me. She wants me to sit with her and her family. My heart swells and my pupils soften even further, now looking like the sweetest kitten ever. “Really?”
“Mhm. Come, corazón, we're about to begin.” She replies quietly and gently pulls me along, letting me sit on the chair beside her as she prepares to start the meeting. While our situationship isn't some big secret, she doesn't like public displays of affection very much. She says she's afraid of making me a target and wants to protect me - the irony of my secret draws out bitterness from me. Regardless, her habit of calling me by my term of endearment in her native language fails to falter, which is why she kept her voice down while talking to me.
“Welcome, Hell sovereign Overlords.” Carmilla begins as I take my seat, silencing the quiet chatter of the other Overlords. The soft and familiar metal clicking of her ballet slippers soothes me, my ears twitching towards the sound each time she takes a step. “I've invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together, you own millions of souls.”
I watch her with a relatively neutral expression from beside her, curious eyes veiling the silent admiration underneath. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes, she's wonderful. I've struggled to connect with her in the past outside of sexual encounters, and I have no idea why. It's not even her issue, it's mine. I'd never want a relationship that's just physical, it's outside of my comfort zone… but then again, so is being with someone like this. Physical, yes, but the emotional side of our relationship is just hard for me. I guess I was so convinced I'd spend eternity with Lute for more than thirty years that I struggle with the fact that it won't come true. I know that the other day she was about to ask me to be her girlfriend before we got interrupted, but subconsciously, a part of me was almost… relieved she didn't? Ugh, what is wrong with me?
“Alastor?” The call of his name snaps me out of my train of thought, attention shifting to my father figure as my ears perk up once again. I don't have parents. My father is technically God because he created me, but I've never met him, and while Sera raised me and was sort of a maternal figure to me, she's my older sister - with whom I have numerous issues - I was never able to make that strong of a bond with her as I did with Emily. So I guess that's why I'm so attached to Alastor and Rosie.
“Yes, I know, I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering.” He replies and I roll my eyes with fondness. I know for sure he was trying to look mysterious by planting Carmilla the opportunity to ask questions only to give her a vague answer. The poor dear.
“Not really. But welcome back in any case.” The small angry radio noises almost draw a snicker from me. He looks so annoyed right now. Poor guy, she could have humored him, at least. 
With a snap of her fingers, Odette hands her a clipboard and she turns on the presentation as Carmilla keeps speaking. “This year's extermination was brutal, far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly, I think it prudent we-”
I jump in my seat for a split second when the door slams open and I roll my eyes at the obnoxious, thickly accented voice chattering on the phone, suppressing an annoyed growl. 
Oh, fuck me.
It's Velvette. She appears to be on the phone with one of her dear, dear colleagues - who are technically supposed to be here, for the record. “I've got it handled, Vox. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought.”
I hate to say it, but out of the three Vees, she's the most responsible. No, less worse would be a better suited definition. Between a porn director, the host of a video podcast that brainwashes people into doing his bidding and a fun-sized influencer, I guess I'd have to go with the latter. But that doesn't make her any less annoying. “Yes, I know. They're all a joke.”
The annoyance and contempt on the three Carmines’ faces is mirrored in my own as well as Zestial's. My ears pin back against my head at the insult, not for myself, but for the others. She's like a fussy child. And Carmilla less than deserves this bullshit at her own meeting. “Thank you, V. See you soon. Kisses, darling.”
I smell lesbian.
“Nice of you to join us, Velvette. Will your… colleagues be joining?” The sincerity in her tone is completely lost and with reason. I can sense it in the way she emphasizes the word colleagues and how the deprecation she feels is written all over her face, regardless of how much she tries to appear professional.
Oh, say no, say no, say no…
“No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent.” And so it begins. While Carmilla only narrows her eyes at the jab, I'm not that graceful when my loved ones are offended. My ears draw back and my tail sways behind me as I bare my teeth, pupils slitting while a soft growl rumbles from my throat. It's barely noticeable, but not to someone right beside me. 
“Charming.” She mutters as she turns around, taking advantage of the fact that the table is tall enough to conceal her hands and brushing the back of her fingers along my arm in a gentle, soothing caress, which brings a flutter to my stomach as my posture relaxes. My ears and tail return to their usual position and my pupils soften once again, but the protective pout on my lips remains. No one fucks with my loved ones.
“So, as I was saying, we need to discuss-” Carmilla begins once again, but is interrupted by Velvette waving her hand once again. Ugh. “Yes?”
“On the subject of discussion…” she begins, then pulls something from out of nowhere and throws it on the table, golden splashes splattering on the surface.
It's an exorcist's head.
While a collective gasp rises from the group, a shuddering exhale falls from my parted lips as my eyes land on the severed head of the angel, ears drooping and eyes wide with terror. Exorcists… they can die? Oh, no, no, no, no… what about Lute? Is she safe? Who did this? How did they do this? 
Wait, I know that mask. 
She was a member of Celeste's posse.
One of Celeste's buddies was murdered? 
I remember them. Celeste is a sergeant in the exorcist army, above the other soldiers but below Lute. The rest of her posse is only made of soldiers and they're all kinds of trouble, but one of their worst faults is homophobia. 
“Do you take medicine for homosexuality?” 
“What kind of a Seraph are you, tempted by something so unholy?”
“You and Lute have been getting really close lately.”
“It's just some trend, it's not real. You're just pretending.”
“I wonder what you call the lieutenant when you're alone…” 
The very thought makes my skin crawl. One time, Lute started a fight with them because they wouldn't stop insulting me. Luckily, Adam was smart enough to break it up, which I only think he did because Lute was involved, otherwise he would have been thrilled. Lute ended up with a broken wing while Celeste had multiple bruises and a broken nose. No one had ever defended me that fiercely before.
“Where did you get this?” Carmilla isn't nearly as appalled as I thought she would be. She looks somewhere between surprised and frustrated, yet at the same time neither. I can't tell what she's thinking right now, what she's doing. Her posture looks more tense than before, her eyes narrowed and her white irises smaller, more slitted. Her daughters appear far more surprised, but not as much as I expected two young adults to be either. Did I miss something?
“We found it during extermination day. If these holy rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them.” Absolutely not. Declaring war on the Heavens is about the dumbest idea I can possibly think of, not only because I want to protect my family and loved ones, but because this happened once before, and it's the reason the extermination even exists. Well, that and that man child Adam and Sera with her power and her lack of moral compass. “The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan-”
Her suggestions are interrupted by Zestial and his aggressive slurping on that cup of tea. The sound, annoying but not as much as Velvette's voice, drags on for a few seconds as the room falls silent. The Overlord then puts the cup down on the saucer and interweaves his hands together, then speaks, “If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war with such meager proof, thou art far more foolish than I be thought.”
“Meager proof? It's a dead fucking exorcist. I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive.” She scoffs. It's good to see that Zestial and I are on the same page, all I need to do is get the others on our side, too. “You going blind, old man?”
“We know not how this perished, mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing, mightn't they purge all of Hell for daring an uprising?” 
“I agree with Zestial. If I recall correctly, the very reason the Heavens approved the yearly exorcism is to punish the population of Hell for attempting a coup d'etat. This can only make things worse.” 
The soft muttering of agreement that rises from the room is my greatest victory of the day. I think of Sera and what loads she bears on her own, regardless of how angry I am at her, I think of young, naive little Emily and how she still thinks that Heaven is perfect, I think of Lute and her safety and her happiness, despite believing that she's probably already moved on. I wouldn't blame her if she has, it's been twenty seven years, but her wellbeing will always be my priority.
My eyes flicker to Carmilla and now I'm sure something's up. She hasn't pitched in with any opinion on this, she didn't look shaken in the slightest when the other Overlord revealed the severed head, and now she looks like she's hiding something. Her eyes are squinted and she's looking to the side with a small pout on her lips, likely lost in her thoughts. Is there a secret afoot? When she meets my gaze, I look at her with soft, gentle eyes and make a soft quizzical noise just loud enough for her to hear, something between a grunt and a purr. What surprises me most, however, is how a flash of guilt appears in her eyes before she schools her expression once again and adverts her eyes from me. It was her, wasn't she? I'm not angry at her for killing the angel, because I'm sure she has a reasonable explanation for that. She's not the type to act on impulse or violence unless it's a last resort. But it just bothers me a bit that she didn't talk to me about this - not that I'm in a position to judge, anyway - but I was hoping she'd trust me with something like this.
My eyes flit back to Velvette just in time to notice the look on her face when she sees Carmilla acting odd, and that's exactly what makes me tense up with protectivity again. “Oh, I get it. So grandpa and the scaredy cat are too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?”
Then she gets up in Zestial's face to attack him, which annoys me even further. And why does she have to step on the table? She might be small, but that's so rude. “What's the matter, fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab for-”
♪ You better show some respect 
Check your behavior 
No one speaks to Zestial that way ♪
Whoa. 
Carmilla has never snapped once in the entire time I've known her. I'd say it's not a good look on her but I'd be completely lying if I did, because she looks so unbelievably attractive. Oh, my God, how did I ever pull a woman like her? She's just so… ugh. She's strong and dominant and gorgeous. I want to fling myself into the sun right now and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing. I'm having a lesbian panic in the middle of the most serious meeting of my life and the small familiar tingle between my legs isn't helping much either. Okay, this is not good. Alright, do something normal. I cross my legs to shift my position while trying to soothe some of the heat between my thighs by subtly squeezing them together, then rub my jaw with my hand to cover up the soft pink color rushing to my cheeks.
♪ Did you expect us
To sit back and take your 
Insolent, brazen display? ♪
I don't even pretend I'm paying attention to what Velvette is saying, because why would I listen to some British chippy when I can daydream about my girlfriend? The way she defends me and Zestial makes her look so hot. She has that determined pout and that protective glare in her scarlet eyes… I swear that sometimes it's like she doesn't even know how gorgeous she is. Somehow, our first kiss comes to mind.
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
This meeting was longer than expected. I've been sitting in this chair for almost two hours and my ass is square. I get up and lean back against the back support of the chair, my vertebrae cracking with a satisfying pop. I hear her soft chuckle and my ears perk up at the sound, so gentle and brief yet meaningful to my ears. The other Overlords already left, it's just the two of us and I have to put my paperwork in order because it was a little disorganized today. “Do you need help with that?”
“Oh, no, that's okay. Don't trouble yourself.” I say with a casual wave of the hand and a small smile, endeared by her kindness. She's sweet, I like that. 
“Ah, it's no trouble.” Carmilla replies, moving to stand beside me as she joins me in fumbling with the messy paper sheets. She's pretty close to me, and she's actually like eight feet tall which is so hot and only serves to thicken the tension simmering between us. My ears go flat against my head every time my tiny hands brush against her bigger ones and sparks shoot up my body and heart. I haven't felt like this in a long, long while. It's almost been thirty years, yet I'm still grieving a life I'm never going to have with a woman I'm never going to see again. I've dated Lute for so long, long enough to still own the engagement ring I bought her before I fell. It's damn time I move on, I bet she already has years ago.
“Here.” My thoughts are interrupted when she hands me half the handful of papers. Oh, thank god. 
“Oh- thank you.” I reply and smile softly at her, tail wagging behind me as I take the papers and rest them atop the other half of the pile. The silence is almost deafening, begging to be broken as our eyes meet once again. The glow of her ruby sclerae has me entranced for a few moment, my own pupils dilating with awe and attraction as my ears pin back against my head once again. She looks so pretty right now.
I swallow thickly and clear my throat, wussing out as I scratch the back of my neck and point to the doorway and take a few nervous steps forward, “I should- um-” For fuck's sake, why don't I want to be with her? What's wrong with me? I know I'm sexually attracted to her, but it can't be just that, can it? I'm incapable of having purely physical relationships. I do feel affection for her, I genuinely do, but it's not as… strong as I would have hoped. Even so, this is the most attracted I've been to someone in the last twenty-seven years. I hear the metal clinking of her shoes and her hand around my wrist stops me. “Y/N, hang on.” 
“Hmm?”
“Would it…” she begins, pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts. The fact that she might have doubts, too, comforts me greatly. It doesn't have to be a serious thing so fast, right? “Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
She's asking me for consent. That makes my stomach flutter with butterflies. I look up at her with puppy eyes and nod, ears drawing back in fluster. “Yeah. Yeah, it would.”
In account of our height difference, I get on my tip toes and she tilts her head down, hand cupping my face before she gently locks lips with me. The kiss is soft, tentative, and I can sense she hasn't done this in a while either. Since she has two daughters and a company, she probably doesn't have much time for a relationship, which is cool because to be honest, casual is the best I can do right now. My tail swishes up to rest on her waist and I feel the shiver that runs up her spine when the fluffy brown tuft brushes against her lower back. When we pull back, our cheeks are flushed and her eyes are still closed for a second longer than mine. “That was nice.”
“Yeah… it was.” 
There's a moment of pause where we're just looking in each other's eyes, and then in a split second, like magnets attracting each other with unbelievable force, we lunge at each other until our lips collide, this time more aggressively as our tongues slide against each other and a few soft noises escape both of us. 
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
♪ You and the Vees are inane and uninformed 
Smug wannabes who don't need when you've been warned ♪
Her voice pulls me from my thoughts once again and my focus zeroes back in on the meeting, ears once again pulling back at how beautiful she looks. I love how the black and white strands of hair flop and curl over her forehead like that. It looks so cute.
♪ Oops, did I strike a nerve? 
‘Cause when I brought out the angel's head
Couldn't help but observe
That your wrinkled face was turning red ♪
The way Velvette keeps attacking Carmilla like that makes my blood boil. Does she have any idea what kind of allegation this is - regardless of whether or not it's true? It's really grave to accuse someone of murdering an angel, and an Overlord no less. I hate the way she's getting under her skin. I see how her teeth are gritted and her nails dig into the table, the way her glare is piercing and frustrated, how her body almost twitches. It makes my ears droop with sadness, yet they pull back immediately when Velvette starts getting closer. My posture tenses and my tail stiffens with each step forward she takes, teeth baring as well as my pupils slit once again.
♪ And why are you avoiding war? 
That's what the guns you sell are for
Thanks to my being respectless 
One thing I'm starting to suspect is
You know why this angel's headless
Do you have a disclosure? ♪
♪ This meeting's over! ♪
While the two are standing nose to nose, the rest of the Overlords and I are just giving dead stares and grimaces, the pause giving way to an awkward silence as my eyes seem unable to break off from Carmilla, who has genuinely never looked so hot before. Okay, stop it. Not the time. “Hmm, fine. Safe travel back to the nursing home, fuckers. Kiss my ass.”
“What the hell? We literally just got here.”
“Mother?” Odette utters softly, and Carmilla gestures for us to follow her in response. 
The three of us follow her to her office and the girls sit on the two chairs in front of her desk while I lean against the wall beside the windows and the coffee table, watching with a small frown as Carmilla mutters something in Spanish and pours herself a drink, but then ends up drinking from the bottle. I rest a hand on her arm and look at her with big puppy eyes, noticing how she seems to relax a bit under my touch, and a weak smile appears on her face. “You okay?”
“Fine.” She replies softly and caresses my cheek with her hand for a second before letting it drop to her side, but we both know that she's not fine. As a rattling sound that we recognize as Zestial makes us turn our heads to the door, watching him come into the room. 
“Carmilla, what troubles thou? Losing thy composure is unlike thee.” 
“It's nothing, Zestial, really.” 
“The felled angel… t'was by thy hand, was it not?”
“Let's not talk about it.” I'm looking at her intently enough to see the same flicker of guilt that passed through her eyes when it was brought up in the meeting and I wordlessly questioned her about it. Whether it's guilt for murdering a soul or keeping this from Zestial and I, I'm not sure, but I don't get why she'd keep this to herself. She could have told me, I would have helped her.
“Mom… maybe they should know.” Clara says gently, which makes my ears twitch in her direction. The three of them know what happened, but we don't.
“Nobody should know!” Carmilla says, slamming her palms on the desk and taking her seat. Whatever happened, it sounds like it's something that's taking quite a toll on her. My ears droop at the thought. She doesn't have to go through it all on her own, she's got us. “I did what I had to do. I'm not discussing this.”
I want to go over there and comfort her, I really do, but maybe I should let them have a moment. They're a family, after all, and had she not invited me in, I would have either stayed outside or gone back to the hotel. 
♪ What weighs on your soul, old friend? 
I implore you to share the load
If it was thou who slew the angel
Why not let your strength be known? ♪
I'm not sure why I'm frustrated with her keeping this from me. I have no right to be, anyway, and for a series of reasons. First off, I'm keeping a gigantic secret from her myself, most definitely bigger than hers. And second, we have a more casual relationship, we're not even girlfriends yet, I can't really expect her to be comfortable sharing this with me. But I guess I'm upset I didn't know sooner because this is about my home, my loved ones. This is a risk to them, and I'd give anything for them to be safe.
♪ I always thought 
That I would keep blood off my face
But when that thing attacked
I had to act
To cross that line and keep them safe ♪
She killed in self defense. That's completely reasonable. She killed to protect her daughters. But they were out on extermination day alone? Why didn't they call me for help? I would have gone down there in the chaos if it meant protecting them. I would have risked being found out if it meant protecting them. But one thing I dislike is how angels are dehumanized here. It's like we're animals to them, which from their point of view is fair, but not all angels are like that. The exorcists might be, but not all of them. Not all of us.
♪ But if anyone knew
Then all of hell would rise to war
And who's to say who'd survive the fray? 
I might lose the ones I was killing for ♪
♪ So I
I'll be your keeper
Do whatever it takes
I'll make the mistakes
I'll keep you safe and keep this secret ♪
The way she hugs her daughters, the way they look up at her with affection and gratitude, it makes my heart warm as a smile comes to my lips. And the fact that she lifts her head to look at me for a moment during that last sentence makes me feel so cared for, even just for a second.
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
It doesn't take long for us to find refuge in her room, all alone and under the cozy lighting of the evening. Because the girls are out for the night, Carmilla seems to feel much more loose and free with her movements and actions, testified by how she pulls me in for a kiss milliseconds after I close the door behind us. My hands fly to her cheeks and I get on my tiptoes to reciprocate the kiss better, squeaking in surprise when she picks me up and carries me to the bed. She breaks the kiss and sets me down on the mattress, then sits beside me and kicks off her ballet slippers. I do the same with my own shoes and crawl to sit behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and giving her a gentle squeeze as I litter kisses on her bare shoulders. I can feel the tension leaving her body when I hug her, then nuzzle my nose into the crook of her neck and give it a gentle bite before trailing kisses up the side of her neck and under her ear, using my tail to tease her by looping it around her side and tickling her chin with the tuft. “You need some help distracting yourself, cielo?”
“Mhm, is that okay?” She replies softly, hands undoing the neatly tied up hair to let it down. The sweet scent of her perfume and shampoo almost makes me dizzy as the black and white waterfall cascades beside me, nose nuzzling into the soft fluffy hair as I inhale its smell with a sigh. 
“Of course it's okay. Just lie down for me, yeah? I'll take care of you, hermosa.” I purr as she obeys and lies back on the bed for me. My terms of endearment for her used to be in English before I asked her to teach me some in Spanish. I knew a few already, but I wanted her to tell me which ones she likes, and after I gained more confidence with the words, I started calling her those - and a few of my own as well.
I crawl on top of her and pull her in for another kiss, hands roaming up and down her sides before beginning to fiddle with the buttons on her shirt. My lips trail down her jaw, neck and collarbone as I undo the last button without looking, relying only on familiarity and basking in the soft sighs of pleasure that she lets out at my soft kissing and nipping. I lift her shirt over her head and smile down at her, connecting our lips once more as my hands gently cup her breasts. She gasps softly into my mouth at the contact and I feel her chest rising and falling under my touch, her breaths soft and slowly increasing in speed. I break the kiss to attach my lips to her nipple and swirl my tongue around it before lapping at it, relishing in the soft moans that escape her mouth. Her hands rest at the base of my neck as her head leans back against the pillow, the warmth of her touch giving me the urge to pleasure her right. The touch of her hands on either side of my neck feels familiar, it reminds me of-
No, don't you fucking dare.
I open my eyes to meet her ruby ones and focus on her face, contorting with pleasure when I switch my mouth to her other breast. “Mhm- ahh, Y/N…” 
Sliding between her spread legs, I make a trail of kisses down her stomach until I reach the waistband of her spiked skirt, then pull it down her legs along with her black pantyhose. The sight of the glistening precum between her legs makes me shiver, pupils dilating with hunger before I delve my tongue into her folds, tail stiffening at the taste. My ears twitch at the wonderful sound of the sharper moan that falls from her lips at the pleasure and her fingers tangle into my mane, tugging and ruffling at the golden tuft as she grinds her pussy on my face to look for further stimulation. Her back arches off the mattress when I wrap my lips around her sensitive clit and gently suck on it, her louder mewls sending waves of arousal to my pulsating core. “Oh, fuck… oh, that's good, amor, don't stop…”
I'm not even planning to. 
To make the sensations even more intense, I tease a finger to her entrance before sliding it inside, stomach flipping as her tight walls clench around my digit. She moans my name with a gasp, squirming on the bed as her hand reaches for mine and clasps it tightly. I remember how Lute started doing that once she got more comfortable, letting the roughness and passion give say to more tender moments once in a while. 
No, wait, what am I doing? 
Stop. Now. 
Don't do that. It can never end well. 
I stick another digit inside her and push both of them deeper, the pads of my fingers hitting the spongy spot that makes her body arch as she lets out a loud cry of blissful pleasure and her fingers tighten in my mane. “I'm almost there, almost- ah, fuck…!”
To help her get there, I piston my fingers inside her with more force and let go of her hand to rub circles on her clit, giving it a gentle smack and watching as she comes undone. The way her hand claws at the bed sheets, the arch of her back, her face contorted with white-hot pleasure as her moaning turns slightly higher in pitch. 
As soon as she relaxes on the bed, I crawl up to her and kiss her on the lips, then leave gentle kisses on her temple and cheek, soft purrs escaping me as my hand brushes away the hair sticking to her forehead. “Better, mi ninfa?”
She smiles at me and chuckles softly, nodding as she wraps her arms around me and brushes my mane back into place with her fingers, “Much better. But now it's your turn, come here.”
“Hey, come on, you don't have to. You had a long day, just have some rest.” I coo, kissing her forehead and caressing her cheek. She must be tired out from the meeting and the stress and all. Or maybe we should stop before I do or say something stupid and fuck this up.
“I'm not tired, I can take another round.” She replies and sits up on her elbows, looking at me with a little smirk. I know that face, she's up to something. She's not at all shy when it comes to trying new things in bed, but as it turns out, it's something I've tried before. Her hand reaches into her drawer for something that I assume is a toy but when I see it, my ears and tail perk up in recognition. Is that a strap? “Do you wanna try this?”
The first time I tried this was with Lute, and pretty early on in our relationship. She'd fuck me with it as often as she could, she'd always put aside a bit of time every day just to rail me, and man, did we get noise complaints from her neighbors. “Yeah, why not?”
She smiles and gives me a quick peck on the lips, then we switch places and she starts putting on the strap while I undo my bow tie and take off the rest of my clothes. Once I'm laid out on the bed and bare before her, she lies on top of me and bends down to capture my lips in a passionate kiss while she teases the tip to my entrance. The familiar sensation draws a small gasp from me, letting out a softer moan as she starts to push it further inside. More moans and babbles fall from my lips at the familiarity of being half-filled like this, panting and whimpering out, “M- More… please, more- ahh…”
Carmilla chuckles and rests a hand on my lower stomach for leverage as she bottoms out, pausing to wait for my go ahead. Shit, I forgot how good this feels. I give her a weak nod and let my head lull back against the pillow, eyes fluttering shut as I wrap my legs around her and lock my ankles on her lower back. My head becomes a bit fuzzy with the intense sensations that are only enhanced when she snaps her hips forward and back before bottoming out again, setting a slow and gentle pace. A string of moans, whines and curses spills from my lips as my hands grip the bed sheets tightly, a bead of sweat trickling down my temple, “Please… please, harder… mommy, please…”
The word makes her stop for a moment, my confused eyes meeting her lust-blown ones before I realize what I just called her.
Damn it.
“What did you just call me?”
“Mommy- mmph!”
Before I can even finish speaking, she pulls out and manhandles me onto my stomach, this time intruding my pussy with much more haste and aggressively pounding me from behind. I've never seen her like this, so animalistic, so rough. Her hands gripping my hips, the sound of our skin slapping together, the tip of the plastic dick hitting just the right spot each time with flawless precision, it all makes them blur together. The mental image of her porcelain skin and her snowy white hair bouncing above her shoulders, her golden eyes flashing with desire and adoration, the warmth of her body, muscular and delicate at the same time intrudes my mind at the best yet worst of times and it's too clear to get it out. It's her flawless hips and her calloused hands gripping me when she fucks me, it's her wings unfurling and flapping with the effort, it's her lips leaving hickeys on my shoulder when I cry tears of overstimulation. And with an unexpected rough pull of my tail, a high-pitched moan is ripped from my throat as the orgasm washes over me like a tidal wave and I cry out,
“Lute!”
˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
God, what the hell did I just do?!
Lute.
I said Lute.
I cried out another woman's name during sex.
“Carmilla, wait-” I begin as I button up my shirt with haste, following her out into the hall of the mansion and reaching out to touch her arm. I knew there was nothing I could say to make her feel better, but I had to try.
"Don't." She warns, hurt etched across her face, which made me retract my hand, ears drooping with resignation. It breaks my heart to see her like this. Damn it, I screwed this up forever. How could I have been so dumb? “I've always known you had issues, but if you were in love with someone else, why didn't you end things with me?"
"I- I didn't even know, I-” I sigh mid-sentence, tears stinging my eyes. How would I even explain this to her? “Look, it's... complicated. I used to date this person 30 years ago, and now she thinks I'm dead. I just- I saw her by accident last week, and it just came crashing back."
"She thinks you're what? I don't understand...” she squints her eyes, hands on her hips as she gazes at me with bewilderment. I can't tell this to her, it's too risky.
"It's really complicated, just drop it." I say and turn away for a moment, taking a few steps down the hallway. I can't tell her, what's the point anyway? You can't change the past. It's not going to change anything, and most definitely not for the better. It's going to kill our relationship. No, no, I can't lose another person. She's the only one that affirms me and is there for me at any moment of need. And I just hurt her feelings.
Carmilla grabs my wrist to stop me, crimson eyes flashing with heartbreak, bafflement and something akin to anger. I don't blame her, I never could, to be honest. I'd hate me, too. "Y/ N, you just called me another woman's name while we were having sex. I deserve to know about her."
"It's better for the both of us if you don't know."
"Y/N, just talk to me!"
"No!" I swiftly turn around and snap at her, ripping my hand from her grip. A soft slicing noise and a pang of pain drags across the back of my hand and I cry out, covering the wound with my other hand while my entire face pales.
Oh, shit.
My blood.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, fuck, no, this cannot be happening to me!
It's over, the relationship is definitely over now.
Carmilla gasps and looks at the angelic blades on the wall, the distress in her eyes mellowing into concern. That sends a stab of guilt in my heart. She's angry with me but she still cares about me enough to worry when I'm in pain. God, she's going to loathe me if she sees. She reaches her big, soft hand out and murmurs a gentle, "Let me see.”
"No, it's fine. I'm fine." I flinch back like a startled cub and hold my hand close to my chest, terrified of her seeing the golden blood. I hate this. I hate this so, so, so, so much.
"Y/N, that's a dangerous weapon. Let me see the wound." She presses, gently gripping my forearm and trying to pry it away from my chest, to which I apply resistance and take a few wobbly steps back as my tail tucks between my legs. She can't know, she just can't. She'll turn away from me forever. She wouldn't be wrong in doing so, but I would be shattered if she did.
"No, please don't."
"Y/N-"
She pulls my hand from my chest and her scarlet eyes land on the golden liquid cascading down my hand, beautiful face morphing into an expression I hate with every fiber of my being. Pain, confusion, betrayal, fear. The way her eyes drop, the way her eyebrows crease, the way her lips part with shock. The color drains from my skin and my eyes fill with tears, choosing to stay silent for now. Her mouth opens and closes repeatedly, she has no idea what to say. And what can she say? What do you say when the person you're dating lies about where they come from?
I stifle a sob and wait for her to say something, anything. What is there to say? I might not be able to take this much longer. 
God, I just want to vanish right now. My legs, arms and body tremble violently as I struggle to make eye contact with her, shifting the muscles in my back to wrap my wings around myself... except I don't have wings anymore. "You... you're an angel...?"
"I used to be." I reply, sniffing softly and roughly wiping the tears from my eyes, angry at myself for letting them fall, for not watching myself with the weapon, for letting Lute's name slip.
"You're no exorcist. You can't even touch a weapon." She thinks aloud, slightly shaky from the shock. I don't want to tell her more about my past, but am I really in the position to ask her for favors? I lied to her, I broke her heart, I didn't treat her right, I never did. This is less than fair to her. "What are you, then? Archangel?"
"Seraph." I sigh, ears drooping as I look up at her like a cub that's been kicked, but not to try to sway her or get my way. I don't even know what my way would be. To be honest, I'm just hoping she won't leave, but at this point, even that seems like too much to ask for.
When did things get so complicated?
A breath of disbelief puffs from her lips and she runs a hand through her hair, trying to make sense of the situation. I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts running through her head right now, the questions she must have, the pain she must be in. "That glow you have, how you're never around after extermination day... those six... bumps on your back...”
I sniff and look to the side in shame, shrinking myself into my shoulders as if to hide myself from her. I tried to protect my family, I tried to protect the love of my life, my philtatē, and failed so horribly. I got my wings torn off my back, I got ruined for it. A Seraph whose family didn't even know where she was. But she thinks I'm a bad angel. An evil one that just cares about herself.
“And Lute... as in Adam's second-in-command Lute?" She asks, tears beading up in the corners of her eyes as she came to so many realizations. My ears go flat against my head as I force myself to look her in the eyes. It's the least she deserves. "You dated the lieutenant of the exorcist army?"
"Yeah... yeah, that's her.” I breathe, brushing the tears off my face and forcing myself to come to terms with it. The connection I had with Lute is unlike anything I've had in more than four billion years. The things I'd do to make her happy, to keep her safe and well. I'd give anything to be able to spend the rest of my life with her and give her anything that would make her happy... but it's not the life we're meant to have. And because of some stupid dream I built up in my head that's destined to go unfulfilled, I hurt a person that actually wants me and cares about me. I took her for granted and hurt her feelings.
"Were you ever going to tell me about all this?" She asks as tears bead up in the corners of her eyes. Why did I have to go and make her face look like that?
"Yes! Of course I was..."
"When?"
“…”
"..?"
"Um..."
"Ugh! I can't believe you!" She groans and whips around to walk down the hallway and I dash to follow after her, reflexively reaching out for her wrist, but then I stop and let my hand drop to my side. She doesn't want me to touch her.
“You want to talk about keeping secrets? What about the exorcist you killed?” I reply, my own frustrations bleeding through the argument as my ears draw back. I'm completely in the wrong and I know it, but the stubborn part of me can't help but want to argue with her. Good going, dipshit.
“Oh, please, don't even pretend you care about us. I saw the look on your face when you saw the angel's head. I know you recognized her, and I know you only care because you're selfish!” She yells back, pointing a finger to my chest, and glaring down at me with a venom that makes my stomach churn, but the accusation makes me so much angrier. 
Selfish? I severed my bond with my older sister in an attempt to protect Lucifer and then lost it altogether when I tried to clean up her mess. I tried to do the right thing and protect my baby sister, to protect the woman I love from this crackpot idea that all sinners should die, and instead I lose everything I ever cared about. She doesn't truly know what selfish means if she's got the gall to call me that. “Selfish?! Is that what you think?!”
“Yes, that's precisely what I think!”
I take a few steps closer to her to stand almost a breath away, close enough to speak right in her face, and grit out, “If I were truly as selfish and petty as you think, I would have been grateful to see that bitch's head on your table, because her and her buddies are the reason I couldn't show my face anywhere near the army for being queer. That woman held me down while the other ones ripped out my wings. They're homophobic assholes who deserve to die, but I wasn't thinking of them, I was thinking about my family. I have people I'd die for, too - because I did - so don't lecture me about selfishness and secrecy when you don't know anything about me and especially when you did the exact same thing.”
I don't like talking about these things, in fact I hate to do so, and I can't believe that the first time I'm opening up to her is to win an argument. While I was defending myself, I didn't even realize when tears started streaming down my face, but I can feel my cheeks wetting now. I hate this so much. How did I even get in this situation in the first place? It could be so much simpler if I'd just done so many things differently. But you can't change the past.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.” She seems to have deflated a lot, despite her posture still being tense. She genuinely regrets calling me selfish, I can see it in her eyes, but she's still really angry with me, and I honestly don't blame her. “But that still doesn't justify the fact that you called me another woman's name. If I'm not your person, that's fine, but you shouldn't have led me on like that!”
"Carmilla, listen, no one hates me more than I do right now-"
"Are you so sure about that?"
I grimace and my ears go flat against my head. That stings, but I had it coming. The way she turns around with crossed arms and looks down at me with that sneer of resentment, that quirked eyebrow and that expression of disgust, I never thought it would be directed at me. On second thought, she probably didn't either.
"You're right. I'm completely in the wrong, and I'm not trying to justify myself. No one hates me more than I do except for you. I wanted to tell you, I honestly did, but I was scared of this. I was scared you'd hate me and push me away. I was hung up on my dumb feelings and didn't take you seriously when you were the only one to care about me - and I know I have no right to say this, but I care about you, too - and I'm so, so, so sorry for doing this to you." I want to comfort her so much, to wipe her tears and reassure her that everything would be alright, but even if she'd ever let me touch her again, it wouldn't be true. It's far from alright. So instead I settle for asking the question I'm petrified of knowing the answer to. "Is there anything I can do to salvage this?"
Carmilla pauses for a few seconds - the longest eternity I've ever experienced in my pre-creational existence - and sighs, running a hand down her face to wipe her tears as her expression mellows back into the more raw, real one she had before. The sight makes my heart crumble to pieces: the way her eyes are so full of pain, how her cheeks glisten with her tears. And I'm the cause of it. I'm the reason.
"No."
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operationslipperypuppet · 1 year ago
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Ooh how about top 5 Emily moments for each PC (i.e. top moonshine moment, top fia moment, etc etc) because we know Emily is incredible and can do no wrong!
Real and true. I’ll do like 2 moments for each naddpod pc and then it’ll be like 10 moments lol. Full disclosure: this is long as hell.
Moonshine:
“You can be quick with kindness, too” and then grabbing Bev and jumping off into the Astral Sea. That whole thing, where she was trying to understand Thiala despite knowing she likely couldn’t be reasoned with. An absolute peak of Moonshine. Holy shit.
Not to be the guy who brings up “how long do half elves live” at every opportunity. But it needs to be said. Because it’s also Moonshine grappling with how her lifespan is going to work. Emily was never going to take 18 levels in druid, she didn’t want timeless body for Moonshine. But she got it. And then there’s this poignant moment where she’s grappling with everything that will mean to the only other person she knows has or will experience it. Moonshine doesn’t fear death. But she doesn’t want to live in a world without her family and friends. And that’s why it matters. Plus the hardshine of it all.
Fuck it, third one. The conversation with Deadeye. She saves him. She’s the catalyst that stops him from continuing a spiral he’d been part of for possibly 100 years. And he stopped her from going down a similar path, which was Brennan’s plan when he made the character. The Cybin siblings are something that can be so personal.
Fia:
“Maybe I don’t want to be her sister, okay!” Fia was closed off to the other third mates in a lot of ways. She was never hiding anything deliberately, she just kept a lot of feelings close to her chest. She hadn’t had friends in years. Blurting this out to Hank and Zirk was her last wall crumbling and a moment of true trust. Plus like the beauty of girlhood friends falling in love wlw wish fulfillment.
“You were my fucking dream for so fucking long. But these people are my reality. And it is by your actions that one of them has died, and you tried to kill more of them. And I will miss you so much. But I, I cannot support this. Mr. Henry. Kill Her.” Truly an Emily moment of all time. The beauty. The cold hearted commitment. The sobs from both her AND Caldwell.
Tarragon:
Only gonna do one here because she’s in so few episodes. The atonement to help redeem Moxora at the end of Cerenysus. “She may have rotted but she’ll make good soil”. Devastating.
Billie:
Also gonna do one here because of the shortness of her time. Her insane antics in the Grimdung/Beeto cave fight. Trying to convince Grimmy that she was worth more than his allegiance to the cause. Being completely wrong about his thought process. And the interactions with Hank and Zirk during that fight. Too fun.
Onyx:
Pretending to be Porker Harris for the entire Merry Metal Mayhem two shot. Insane choice. She was dressed as him dead I think actually. And tried to convince Sonic that she was him. The triplets are too good.
Befriending KT. Getting her plane seat upgraded while sitting in the bad seats. Asking for her opinion on everything. So dumb. So incredible.
Callie:
Fucking. Crown of Dreams. Right at the end. She finally isn’t confused or a nannerfly. And she takes a turn to Lay on Hands Sol (who was 2 death save failures in the hole and it really felt like Caldwell’s skin of his teeth luck had finally run out) and then casts compelled duel on Ultrus to save Glen. Gets me every time. God what an episode.
Little strange, but when they’re fighting the Bronzebeards and that guy who was controlling people with the worms in the woods on the way to Irondeep. She like climbs up something, Fey Steps, attacks or casts a spell, then asks Hardwon to catch her. And Hardwon “nods like he’s seen this kind of bullshit before”. Just a very fun moment.
So sorry for going off like that. Hope people enjoy reading this insane list lmao
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kafus · 8 months ago
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i was about to make a joke post like “wes and rui are the only straight people in pokemon” but then i had a vision for transfem wlw wes. kind of out of spite for some of the weird early 2000s sexist writing present in colosseum. wes is told multiple times to Be A Man and girls flirt with him and etc idfk it’s honestly weird for a pokemon game even considering some of the other questionable dialogue in early pokemon games. he is also in a situation where he was a criminal but turned his back on the organization and yet he still uses violent means as a way to get the good end result he wants. and others perceive that as his Strong Masculine Energy and shit like that. rui is cast aside into the gentle cares about pokemon role while wes does all the dirty work. so like what if he confronted his internalized toxic masculinity bullshit and came out the other side realizing he’s actually a woman. what if transitioning helped him (well her in this case) come to terms with her past and get in touch with the parts of her she hid behind the tough face she had to put on while dealing with, you know, terrorism. i’m like invested in this now wtf THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHITPOST THOUGHT
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hoffstrap-yuri · 8 months ago
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In My Head, In My Heart
ao3 // masterlist
*Summary: Petra Strahm had come to terms with the fact that she was a lesbian after Husband #2, but never did she think she'd swing so hard for a pregnant woman.
*Rating: +18 for explicit mature content
*Content/Tags: Fem Hoffstrahm, Fem Coffinshipping, Yuri Coffinshipping, Yuri Hoffstrahm, WLW Coffinshipping, WLW Hoffstrahm, Petra Strahm (Fem Strahm), Maureen Hoffman (Fem Hoffman), Fluff and Smut, Shameless Smut, Plot What Plot, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnancy Sex
*Status: First Fic in Series/Completed (Second Fic Here)
Author's Note: Basically the thought of pregnant Fem Hoffman made me pass out with a nosebleed and when I woke up, this had created itself. But in all honesty I've poured at least 24 hours into this thing because I was like "I gotta write before my muse leaves my mind" so enjoy this fic!
I've got more fem Hoffstrahm coming, but this was just something I had started before taking requests so have this to tide yourselves over
Holy Shit.Petra had stopped a few steps short of the bottom of the staircase leading to the murder scene of their confidant, Alison Kerry. Sure she expected gore, maybe a head that flew off to one corner of the room…. But she hadn’t expected to see a heavily pregnant woman working the scene. She was going to launch into her ‘Open the Door and You Will Find Me’ spiel she had been mentally preparing while still in Perez’s car, ready to call out the city’s police department for its incompetence at handling a serial killer of this infamy. She decided better of herself and quietly hid behind her partner as she did the introductions. “Detective Hoffman, I’m Special Agent Lindsay Perez of the FBI. This is my partner, Special Agent Petra Strahm.” “Pleasure.” The detective leaned forward a bit, putting a strain on her dress shirt’s buttons and held out a hand for the two agents. Petra reached out first, surprised by the heavy grip the other woman hand. She pulled her hand back and behind Lindsay’s back massaged her hand. “How can I help the FBI?” “‘Open the door and you will find me’, does that mean anything to you, Detective?” Petra replied, the edge coming back to her words as she tried not to look at Hoffman’s giant baby bump square in the center of her plush body. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t understand your cryptic bullshit.” Hoffman scoffed at her, “Pregnancy brain leaves me so confused these days.” “Pregnancy brain, my ass.” Another officer under Hoffman’s command muttered under his breath. Hoffman’s heel just so happened to ‘hover’ over the top of his foot before pressing down; making the detective curse loudly before scurrying off to the opposite side of the scene. Hoffman covered her mouth behind her hand as she let out a reserved laugh. “Anyway, no. That means absolutely nothing to me, Agent.” She finally replied to the special agent’s inquiry from a moment passed. Strahm made some kind of grunting noise as she examined Kerry’s body. Hoffman pulled out a legal pad where she kept notes and flipped through them, hoping to provide some kind of information to the agents. “There must be another apprentice.” Petra stated “You’re sure that this isn’t the work of John…” “John Kramer was a bed-ridden cancer patient. Absolutely not.” Strahm countered “It could’ve been Amanda Young. Used a pulley system…” Hoffman offered once again “There’s no way. Amanda’s arrest record puts her weight at 107, and Detective Kerry was 130…” “Special Agent.” Hoffman batted her eyelashes at the other woman, “If you’re here for any other reason than just to assist, I suggest you back the fuck off.” “Wouldn’t want to miss anything your pregnancy brain let slip.” Petra bit back and walked through the crime scene. She heard Lindsay sigh behind her, probably shooting Hoffman an ‘I’m sorry about her’ look before following behind the older woman. After looking over everything, and some of the lower detectives shuffling back to the precinct, Hoffman approached the two agents. “You’re welcome to set up in the conference room back at my station.” One hand rested on her back for support, while the other rested over the crest of her bump. “Thanks, we could use a cup of coffee.” Lindsay cracked a smile at the matronly detective “You’re welcome. I’ll see you two later. I have another fire to put out.” She replied, turning on her heels before walking up the stairs. Lindsay craned her head up, making sure that Hoffman was out of earshot before nudging her partner with her elbow. “What?” Strahm asked, before being nudged again, “What?!” “I saw you staring at her.” “I was not.” Strahm rolled her eyes “Were too. She’s exactly your type.” “Bullshit.” “I’ve seen your ex-husband.” Lindsay retorted, “Only Maureen's got more curves.” “Why don’t you take the car to the precinct, and shut the fuck up.”
“Damn.” Lindsay laughed, “I’ll go at least get the car started. Might want to cool down a little before you get in the car.” “Fine.” Strahm huffed a little bit, taking another walk through of the crime scene before deciding she was calm enough to face Lindsay’s badgering about her attraction towards Maureen Hoffman. Though there really wasn’t anything there. She hopped into the car and sat silently across from Perez as they drove to the police station together. The officer that Hoffman had stepped on came out to lead them to the conference room, showing them where the coffee machine was on the way in before the two pulled out their briefcases. Lindsay sat on the edge of the table as Strahm flipped through the manila file folders she crammed inside the case. “Do you think we should tell Maureen?” “No Linds.” Strahm replied, not taking even a second to look up at her partner, “We don’t know what they know and the evidence is stacking up that it’s someone on the inside helping the Jigsaw Killer.”
“I know, it’s just the tape said that there’s two police that’ll be the next victims and it might be better…” She started to explain. The whole atmosphere seemingly shifted as the doorway creaked slightly under the weight of the pregnant detective leaning against the frame. Petra looked her up and down with a level of disgust that she couldn’t even pretend to conceal. “Hope this is comfortable for the two of you.” Maureen said, walking across the room and taking a seat across from Strahm, “Certainly better than sitting in the bullpen.” “It’ll be fine.” Lindsay assured the other woman. Maureen pushed her chair back slightly to cross her leg over her lap, showing that she had switched to flats after coming back from the scene. “If you don’t mind my asking, how far are you along?” “Oh.” Maureen smiled in a manner that made Petra wanted to gag. So saccharine sweet, and for what? “I’m in my third trimester.” “Oh, then you’re due anytime now.” “I still have a couple of weeks before the due date, but yes.” Petra scoffed a little before saying something completely lacking any kind of tact, “Shouldn’t you be out on maternity leave, then?” Without hesitation and after looking at the simple silver band on her ring finger, Maureen shot back, “Shouldn’t you be with your husband?” Lindsay had to stifle her laughter and Petra shot her partner a look of ‘you were supposed to be on my side on this one’. “I’m divorced for your information.” “Congratulations. Your ex must be a lucky man.” “Not nearly as lucky as I am to be rid of him.” Petra responded. “Either of you want coffee?” Lindsay got up and made a dash for the door before either of the other women could answer her. It was a courtesy more than anything, but she needed an excuse to get out from there. “I’d better go.” Hoffman grabbed the teddy bear she had in her arms previously when she walked into the conference room “What do you want from me, detective?” “What?”
“I said ‘what do you want from me’? Don’t tell me you were just walking in here to check on Lindsay and I. God knows you could have sent one of your lackeys to do that while you were resting in your office.” Hoffman scoffed back, “I’m not some delicate flower despite being with child. I can still flip a man over my shoulder… even though my OB/GYN has advised against it.” She got up from her seat and leaned into Strahm’s space when she heard the agent utter something under her breath. “I didn’t quite hear that, Agent, mind saying it a bit louder for me?” “It’s none of your damn business.” Strahm growled underneath the other woman. She looked over her shoulder for an opening, but Maureen was all up in her business. Maureen pulled Strahm’s chair back and placed her hands firmly on the arms of the chair, forcing the FBI agent to shrink herself further into herself. “I said, repeat yourself, Agent Strahm.” She said in a low voice. Petra was surprised she hadn’t miraculously turned into a pile of goop in front of the heavy woman before her. Barely louder than a whisper, she replied: “Hot.” “Louder.” “I thought it was hot.” Strahm kept her eyes moving, anything so as not to stare blankly at Hoffman’s chest. “What was?” “The idea of you throwing a man over your shoulder, in your state. A big bulky girl like you…” Strahm could feel a nosebleed starting and “You’re right, it is hot. And I’m not a girl, I’m a woman.” The hot air from her mouth sliding across the skin of Petra’s neck. Petra shivered in her seat, forcing her hands to dig into the fabric of the arm of the chair as she tried to keep herself calm and even-headed. Maureen lifted her tempting chest away from Petra with a mischievous little smile on her face. Strahm tucked her legs one underneath the other around the bottom of the chair and locked her knees. Maureen’s hands worked their way to her back and massaged herself as she stood upright. “That was a lot to make me go through, in my condition.”
“I thought you said you weren’t a fucking flower.” Strahm spit back “I’m not, but you’d better make up for this. You free tonight?” “Do I have a choice?” “You always have a choice, Agent. Make it.” “Yeah, I’m free.” Strahm switched the order of her legs to keep from fidgeting with her fingers “Good. I’ll drive you to my place tonight.” Maureen turned on the back of her heels out of the room and walked towards her office. Strahm sat still in her chair for a moment before realizing she needed to be looking at something before Lindsay came back with coffee. She unhooked her leg, and reached for the briefcase before realizing what a number Hoffman did to her. She brushed up against Lindsay as she returned with a drink for the both of them and Strahm made a beeline to the bathroom. --- “Is Nancy Drew still here?” Maureen entered Strahm’s office space, her jacket slung over her shoulder like she was a mob boss. Without the stupid garment, Strahm got a generous view of the suspenders that were probably functionally useless as the wide woman grew from her pregnancy. “Don’t call Perez that, she’s a damn good agent.” Strahm snapped back “Touched a nerve, did I?” Maureen smirked. “I’m done for the day, if you want to hurry it up and join me.” “I’m almost done.” Strahm flipped through her laptop and checked her emails one last time. Maureen’s foot hit the floor with a slight patter as she waited for the other woman to tie up her loose ends for the day. “It can’t take you that long to be ‘almost’ done.” Hoffman glared at her “What, you got a hot date with the baby daddy after you’re done screwing me for the night?” Strahm retorted
“You’re keeping me from what I want, Agent. And I always get what I want, when I want it.” Maureen bared her teeth, placing her palms flat on either side of the laptop. Strahm didn’t bother logging off the device, only shut the cover and grabbed her briefcase from below her. “Good. About time.” “Shut it.” Strahm replied as she fixed the collar of her dress shirt. Hoffman lead the agent to her car and slammed the door on Strahm’s side once she slid into the passenger’s seat. She buckled herself in, making a show of the way the material had to stretch around her stomach. “Gonna need a fucking extender if that bump grows anymore.” “You’d like to see that, wouldn’t you?” Maureen smiled down at her baby bump as she teased Strahm. Strahm crossed her legs in the other seat before saying, “Just drive us to your place.” She covered her beet red face the best she could behind the palm of her hand. Hoffman reached an arm around the back of Strahm’s head rest as she put the vehicle into reverse, pulling out of the station before driving around town. She turned the radio on when they were stopped at a particularly long red light and hummed along to some pop song. Strahm couldn’t help herself from looking at the way her lips curved as her mouth made ‘oohs’ and ‘you’s, the velvet lipstick accentuating her ‘ahhs’ as her hums turned to singing. Strahm pursed her lips as she watched, leaning in closer to the siren’s call from Hoffman. As she was about to kiss Hoffman’s cheek, Hoffman stopped the car. It jerked Strahm a bit forward and she stayed in her seat until Hoffman came around the other side of the car to get the door for her. She followed behind the detective once more as the woman rummaged through her purse to find her house keys. On a separate clip from her car keys, she pulled the keys from her bag and unlocked the door.
“Make yourself comfortable, Agent.” She slipped her flats off by the door and dropped her things across the living room as she made a line straight for the kitchen. Strahm sat in the armchair closest to the door, leaving her jacket on top of Maureen’s. She rested her head against her fists and spread her legs as far as they would go comfortably in the leather chair. Her leg started bouncing underneath her, and rather than try to force it down she just let it go until the urge to vibrate died on its own. Maureen came back with two plates of food, one with a slightly bigger portion that she put in front of her spot on the couch and put the other before Petra. While it was a friendly gesture, Maureen told Petra “Eat.” in a tone that sounded more like a command. Petra nodded and picked over the broccoli with her fork, going for the salmon piece at the center of her plate. She went back to the vegetables when it was clear that Maureen was watching her and begrudgingly ate the damn broccoli even though it was actually cooked fine. Almost as if to reward Strahm, Maureen took the straining buttons on her dress shirt and popped them open, showing off her ample chest. Strahm tucked her legs closer together and shoveled the rest of her food into her mouth before she said something even more stupid than before. With a heavy sigh, Maureen loosened her updo and let the almost raven brown hair fall onto her shoulders like a waterfall. Strahm’s hair was messy, full of split ends… what she wouldn’t give to run her fingers through the soft locks. Her heart was practically projecting through the whole house, or so it seemed to her. She felt her pulse pounding in her wrist as her hand wearily reached up to her own hair and ran her fingers through it to ‘fix’ it. “Come here.” Maureen was tired of the cat and mouse game the other woman was playing with her. Strahm felt her words pull her from her spot and before her at the couch. She didn’t think she was that desperate a woman until Hoffman’s hand wrapped around her shoulder and gently guided her down to the floor, resting on her knees before the pregnant woman. “The things I could do to you, Agent.” “Like what?” Strahm asked. Hoffman tisked, realizing that despite all her gruff and loud barks she really didn’t have any bite. “Let’s start off easy on you. God knows it already looks like you’re going to pass out from just looking at me.” She pulled her back up so that Strahm could sit behind her on the couch. She leaned back into Strahm and draped her hair over the other woman’s shoulders. Strahm carefully pressed her lips onto the crown of Hoffman’s head, who responded in kind with a satisfied purr. Her hands hovered over the space of the detective before resting them against Hoffman’s back. “Good girl, keep going”. Strahm hands slid down Hoffman’s back before resting in the space just above her ass, kneading into the tense muscles as Maureen lifted her feet up from off the floor. Strahm jammed her knuckles slowly into the soft fat that sat on the woman’s hips and worked her joints deeper into Maureen’s muscle. She carefully snaked a hand around the front of Maureen’s body and rested it under the baby bump before tracing a finger over the stretch marks that were created from Maureen’s gift of life. Maureen’s eyes were shut tight as Strahm spoiled her but every once in a while Strahm would extract a mewl from the mother to-be that was like music to her ears. Her hand slunk its way back to just under Hoffman’s shoulder blades and worked out the tension from the center of her back. “You’re such a good girl when you have something you want dangling in front of you… almost like a dog.”
“You’re a dog,” Strahm bit back, “A bitch even.” “That’s not very nice.” Hoffman didn’t even open her eyes as she gently scolded Petra. “I might look like a bitch in heat, but that doesn’t mean just anyone can say it. If you were my subordinate, I’d give you paperwork duty for a month for saying that.” “Spare me.” Strahm rolled her eyes “And you’ve been behaving so well up until now. Did I hit a sore spot, Agent?” She feigned naivety. “Do you want to breed me, huh?” “I…” Strahm started to stammer “Oh, dear.” Maureen opened her eyes and pursed her lips, “Darling, has that been your goal this whole time?” “I-No I mean…” “Why didn’t you just say so?” She guided Strahm’s hand in between her legs and pressed her thighs together, “Follow my instructions carefully.” “And then what?” “Then you’ll get what you came here for.” “Fine.” Strahm looked away from the woman “Go upstairs. My room is the first room on the right next to the stairs. On the opposite side of the door is my bed and next to that is my vanity. In my drawers get out…” “Okay, I get it.” Strahm walked off and went to find Hoffman’s room. She lugged herself up the stairs and went into the bedroom. The bed was made up perfectly and Strahm found herself gravitating to the silk sheets, sitting down on the over-sized mattress for one woman. She ran a hand over the comforter before getting back up and pilfering through Hoffman’s drawers. Without a doubt the toy that Hoffman wanted was there, and Strahm brought it back down to the detective. “Don’t act like you’ve never seen a dildo before, love.” Hoffman uncrossed her legs as Strahm approached her with the toy in hand. “It’s just so… pink.” Strahm looked at it for a moment before sitting down next to Hoffman. Hoffman leaned into her partner and covered her lips in kisses of varying lengths. The first couple were like a puppy lapping at Strahm’s face before Maureen’s teeth came down and tugged on the inside of her lips. Strahm dropped the toy onto the couch as she let out a moan. She pulled away for a second to throw the thing onto the coffee table before going back to making out with the woman in front of her. She wrapped her arms around Maureen, grabbing at her ass while their kisses turned into sloppy mashes rather than something coherent. “I need you.”
“Then take me.” Maureen purred into Strahm’s ear, backing off her slowly. Strahm swallowed back the fear sitting in her throat and tugged at the hem of Hoffman’s maternity pants. Even her underwear was stupid sexy… or at least stupid sexy to a woman in a very long dry spell. Maureen seemed aware that Strahm was distracted by something, so helped the other woman slide everything off her thick hips, past her generous thighs and onto the floor. Petra worked the buttons open off Hoffman’s shirt as her lips connected back to Maureen’s neck. Without looking up, she unhooked the back of Hoffman’s bra. The fat spilled out from the garment and Petra moved her mouth further south, sucking on the skin. Hoffman wrapped her fingers through Strahm’s hair and forced her head down further so that Petra would suck on her nipple. They both moaned as Strahm licked at the overly tender skin. “Oh, honey.” “Honey?” Strahm pulled her mouth away, eliciting a whine from Hoffman. Her hand slid under Hoffman’s tit and massaged her. “Yes, honey. Do I need to say it again?” “Eh, one more time can’t hurt.” Strahm shrugged, resulting in the most deadpan stare from Maureen. Strahm nervously hovered over the other woman for a second after the gaff before undoing her shirt and showing Hoffman a little more. “So pretty.” Hoffman leaned back into her, “I could devour you.” “I’d like to see you try.” “There’s my confident girl again.” Hoffman titled Strahm’s head up by her chin, “Now. Make me yours, love.” “Fine. Fine. How do you want to do this?” Strahm grabbed the toy and coated it generously in lube. Hoffman got onto her knees and leaned forward with her ass sticking up in Strahm’s face, “Guess you didn’t need to think much about that.” “No. Just been thinking about it all day since I saw you at the crime scene this morning.” Hoffman shot back at her. Before she knew it, she felt Petra slid the toy into her slowly. Hoffman bucked her hips up into Strahm’s hand, taking the agent by surprise. She wrapped her free hand around the inside of Hoffman’s thigh before slowly thrusting the dildo into her partner. Hoffman’s fist pulled on the fabric of the couch cushions underneath her as she backed up into Strahm once more. “I lied earlier.” Strahm said, adjusting herself so she could be over Hoffman completely. “You’re not a bitch in heat.” “Yeah?” Hoffman bit down on her own lip, “What am I then?” “You’re a fucking heifer.” Strahm’s words curled over the edge of Hoffman’s ear and sat in her mind for a moment. “Everything about you is fucking gigantic. Your chest… your stomach… On your knees like this you look just like a fucking cow. How much bigger are you going to get before you deliver your calf, huh?” “F-Fuck…” Hoffman stuttered as she kept riding on the toy in Petra’s hand. Petra’s hand moved from in between Hoffman’s thigh and up her stomach, stopping for a moment over the baby bump. After running her hands over it in a circular motion, she clutched one of Maureen’s boobs in the palm of her hand. She gave it a light squeeze and Maureen shoved her head into the fabric of the couch, suppressing her moan. Her legs shook ever so slightly and Strahm pulled the toy out before tossing it to the side and pressing two fingers onto Hoffman’s wet clit. She rubbed at the muscle for a couple of seconds before Hoffman’s legs gave out from under her. Her whole body twitched as she came with the help of Strahm. She balled up her fists and hit the couch until she was satisfied. She would’ve happily fallen asleep face first in the fabric were it not for Strahm’s help in repositioning her onto her back. She took Strahm’s hand and placed it in the space between her boobs, just over her heart. She looked up at her with eyes that asked for more from the other woman as her hair splayed across the pillow like raindrops ebbing along glass. Strahm leaned into Hoffman and pressed her lips onto her cheek, trailing her hand up just a little higher to rest just below where Maureen’s neck started.
Hoffman scooched over to allow for some room at her side, patting the space. Strahm laid on her side and wrapped an arm over Hoffman’s center, curling around the space heater of a woman. Hoffman pulled a blanket over Strahm and ran the back of her hand over Petra’s cheek. “Sleepy?” She asked “Yeah. Just a little.” Strahm replied, stretching out a little under the blanket. Maureen kissed her forehead and Petra returned it with her lips on Maureen’s. Maureen looked down at herself with a subtle smile before saying, “I’ve never been this happy with someone… You just feel right with me, Agent.” “Petra.” Strahm corrected her, “I think we’re past the point of titles.” “Alright, Petra…” Hoffman used her name cautiously, expecting some kind of scoff or a pull back from the FBI agent. “Like I said… something about you and I feels right. Don’t you agree?” “Yeah.” Strahm replied stoically, “I’ve never been with a woman…” Her thought trailed off “A woman like me?” Hoffman tried finishing it for her “No…” Strahm bit the inside of her cheek “Oh.” Maureen’s lip curled at the ends and she wrapped her arms carefully around Strahm. A hand rested on Strahm’s neck, nearly covering every inch. Strahm shivered slightly at the sheer size of the other woman’s hand, and Hoffman smiled back at her. It was a bit more devious this time, but Strahm couldn’t put her finger on why. “You’d look beautiful in a white dress.”
“I…” Strahm’s brain proceeded to force restart over and over as she thought about what Maureen had just said. “We could probably get hitched in Atlantic City, if we’re feeling real crazy.” She said it to diffuse any tension that was there between them, but did almost fear that Maureen would take her up on her offer. Not that she’d mind. Maureen Strahm had a nice ring to it after all. Her face must’ve been bright red because Maureen took her hand off the small of her neck and moved it to the center of her back instead. “I’d rather we go somewhere nicer.” Hoffman ran her other hand along the front of Strahm’s chest. “Plus we could take the babies with us.” “… Babies?” “Oh, you didn’t think I was this big for one baby did you, Agent?” Hoffman smirked “Yeah… I kind of thought you were.” “No. It’s twins.” Maureen kissed her “You’re lucky you’re so… hot.” Strahm fumbled with her words while she tried to wrap her head around the fact that she had gotten a girlfriend, and two children in a day. “I know, love.” Hoffman ran her fingers through Petra’s hair before telling her, “Sleep.” “Fine. Good night.” “Good night.” Maureen kept stroking the back of Strahm’s head until her partner was out. “You’ll be the perfect mother to my children… And I’ll have my happy little family.”
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nikadd · 6 months ago
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911 7x09 speculation based on the stills
ok im gonna do this thing for fun where i try to predict the order of events of 911 7x09 from the stills that were released bc there were MANY and im just trying to figure out how they are gonna fit everything into the episode. obviously everything is going to be under a readmore.
for clarity's sake, it is 11pm pst on 5/22, the episode airs tomorrow 5pm pst, so the sneak peek clip into the episode has not been released yet.
and i will come back to this post later to see how close i got. there are definitely going to be scenes where i got their order relatively to each other in the same storyline, but maybe the way they intersect with the other storylines could be offbase.
we are most likely missing scenes to have full context of everything, but this is the closest i think i can get to without having seen any sneak peeks or anything else. feel free to let me know what yall think!
1. 911 call
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i think we are going to begin with a cold open of a call, just like many other episodes. from the pictures released, there's only one known call, so i'm not 100% sure that it's going to be the first one.
if the call is actually in the middle of the episode, then the first scene would be:
2. the award ceremony
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it makes sense to have it happen earlier rather than later because it sets up both bobby's and hen's storylines (and also im assuming eddie's)
it's probably gonna begin with a few speeches and then a sequence of scenes happening around the same time.
3. athena and maddie
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athena and maddie celebrating their husbands' medals (with a quick emphasis on bobby's convo in the corner and maybe athena's reaction)
4. henren + surprise guest
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hen and karen and their kids also celebrating, but then this guest actress character shows up and somehow affects the whole adoption storyline (911 instagram earlier posted stills from 7x02 where the son of a councilwoman died while hen was interim captain, so im assuming it's either the councilwoman or her agent). this scene could also take place later within the sequence, maybe right before we switch to another location.
5. buck, eddie, christopher, and marisol
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a quick moment with buck, eddie, christopher, and marisol. maybe there is a line that directly addresses eddie's lie in a dramatic irony kind of way, like the audience knows what's going on but the other characters don't.
6: henren and tommy
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not sure if henren and tommy talking happens before hen's storyline or after and whether it happens before the buck/eddie scene or after. also would be interested to see if this scene is tommy apologizing for past behavior (it was implied offscreen). or maybe it's some kind of a mlm wlw conversation. or maybe even some kind of "if you hurt him we hurt you" conversation. IF this happens after the buck/eddie scene, then maybe tommy asks henren about the nature of that relationship and buck's connection to chris. basically, idk if it's gonna be a conversation about buck or not, but chances are, it is.
7. back at the grant-nash house
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this scene was in the promo. basically, bobby still has a lot of survivor guilt and doesn't like being called a hero. athena is worried. the ad break probably happens right after here.
8. eddie and kim's date
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absolutely zero idea how this is going to go. kim might do something that is very shannon-like, or maybe she does the total opposite. they might get caught, they might now. actually, i think it is too early in the episode for the secret to be fully revealed, but there is a chance that buck might run into them, and so maybe they have an awkward scene. we are promised a buck x kim scene, but it's unclear if it's gonna happen in this episode or next.
9. hen figuring out the adoption issues
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(unsure if the meeting with madney is gonna happen before the first still or not, but im assuming after.)
hen is disappointed with some kind of bureaucratic bullshit she is being put through, so she needs advice.
10. athena seeks out amir's help
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in the promo, athena is at the hospital when she says that bobby needs help. amir also has survivor guilt, so it's smart for athena to ask him.
it's cut closely with a scene with henren and madney, but it's definitely a misdirection. the way that athena says it, im assuming there is an ad break or a scene switch right after.
11. henren and madney figuring out the adoption stuff
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they are making a plan!
WILDCARD: marisol and christopher
okay so these pics were posted a while ago so i'm assuming they are for these episode, even though there is a chance it's for the finale.
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this scene could be happening closer to the end of the episode, but i feel like it might be a scene where eddie actually has marisol babysitting christopher because he's out with kim. or something like that. like i think maybe here we have marisol suspecting something? now, the second pic does look like it's in a hospital, so MAYBE it's not from this episode, but we'll see.
12. amir and athena
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they are continuing their previous conversation outside.
13. firehouse
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next day? later same day? hen is working on the documents. probably some kind of thematically important conversation with bobby. transitions into:
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a fun little sequence of the 118 crew working together to make a meal and then enjoy it together. very much a bobby focus. maybe he's considering finally retiring?
14. more henren and madney
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later that day, i'm assuming. the bottom image has somebody in the right corner, and i'm assuming it's karen, sharing an update on the situation.
15. amir, athena, and bobby at athena and bobby's place
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not sure if the images are in the correct order, but i'm assuming that the plot here is that bobby shows up in the house as athena is talking to amir, so bobby finds out they've been working together behind his back.
16. eddie and christopher
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this conversation seems very important. the bottom pic makes me feel like it's closer to the end of the episode than the beginning. i think eddie either realizes something here or at the very least decides to do something, as he's reminded that christopher is the most important person and he shouldn't hurt him.
17. buck and ...?
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same as with the previous scene, the bottom pic makes me think it's in the end of the episode. could be a scene with tommy? maybe it's them breaking it off, or maybe just having an important conversation. buck does look like he's experiencing Something.
(there IS a chance that this scene happens before the eddie and christopher one. maybe it's between buck and eddie.)
18. the fire
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okay so there IS a chance that this fire is a dream. if it is, i'm assuming it happens in the beginning of the episode, like a cold open instead of the 911 call. BUT... i think it's in the end of the episode. i think the fire is how the episode ends, and that's how bobby ends up in the hospital in the finale.
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loveislandthegame · 7 months ago
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thoughts on today's volume! first off, let me say i really, realllllly hope that the next season doesn't have horrible couples acting like children at the finale 😭 hazel & hari were ruining the vibe . i gave FB props for not making her a villain, but i'm rescinding that now because they made both her and hari look absolutely ridiculous. it's astounding how much they manage to ruin their own characters. now let's get into the rest of it
FB you better be joking ! i've lost count of how many times they've used this box. at this point the feather is crusty, the silk is shattering, the massage lotion got bacteria in it, the whipped cream can is squirting out straight up nitrous oxide, etc.
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i don't know what's more horrendous , the glitched massage oil overlay or this dress . what in the penny, nickel, dime is this ??
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when i picked castle ruins for the final date i was envisioning like, a cute grassy hill with rocks scattered around, overlooking the sea . cute romantic vibes ... only for that shit to end up being a brick wall 😭 it's still a cute background though, and the date was nice
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FB, where's my damn suit ! (i know i'm probably the only person that wants one but like, even the queen herself, s2 MC, had a suit option at prom) i ended up going with the black dress, which was a good shout because it actually looks really good with claudia . we're giving sun and moon 🌚🌞 <3
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of course we won, but with the way this season's been going i wouldn't have been surprised if we somehow had a tie with sienna (i know it's not possible though because she gets dumped if you aren't wlw. if you're wondering about the ranking it was 4th: hazel/hari 3rd: sienna/kyle 2nd: bea/theo)
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before going outside MC had a conversation with claudia's mother, and i loved this. minus the land part, this is the kinda shit i'd want as gifts IRL
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when i tell you i groaned out loud when i saw who the VIP guest was. also, during the recap of our villa journey i have no clue why he was acting like i chose to be with jin in the recoupling prior the final one, did FB forget it was boy's choice ? (the AI is AI-ing girl...)
spin the block...? You can’t be talking like that White Baby
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FB really screwed over the people who were romancing finn, i'm actually gagged . granted i think you're a bit delulu if you picked love instead of money with anybody besides lulu , but finn actually was an LI option. this is worse than hamish getting with ivy, i genuinely wanna know wtf were they thinking
the diamond scene with finn was the least robotic conversation this whole season, perhaps the misogynistic creeps that wrote season 5 came back to write that pile of bullshit. don't bother buying it. if you really wanna know: finn got back with kat, they tried to have an open relationship and it flopped
is he an option to run away with or what? i don't know because i slammed the tf out of the "i'm in a relationship" option 👹
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love or money time, and i picked love of course ! i would say we walked off into the sunset but it's already night time
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next week's volume is gonna be a reunion and ... ugh 😐 respectfully, they should've just pulled the plug here . at this point the only other islanders i care about are bea & theo, but after the final recoupling they pretty much became nonexistent (and knowing FB, this reunion is probably gonna be dedicated to helping one of these wack ass couples fix their relationship drama ...)
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local-pr1nter · 1 year ago
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Mondo Oowada Dynamics Pt. 1
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NOT MY GIF THE SOURCE IS AT THE BOTTOM RIGHT
(*Quick note! I address Chihiro with he/him pronouns!)
To start off, let's start with his own class, class 78.
At first everyone thought of him as this intimidating delinquent, not knowing what else to think of him and typically steering clear of him. Aoi, Byakuya, and Kiyotaka had the most negative opinions on him at first.
Leon, Sayaka, and Makoto were the first ones to actually see past the delinquent exterior and befriend the biker.
Hifumi, Celestia, Kyoko, Mukuro, and Sakura remain indifferent to the biker.
Junko finds it hilarious to rile him up - often getting him in trouble with Kiyotaka or their teacher. Mostly Kiyotaka. Mondo isn't particularly fond of the fashionista.
Eventually Kiyotaka and Mondo challenge each other to an endurance contest - and they quickly become friends the next day. It's jarring for everyone, but it actually makes everyone else relax - just a tiny bit.
Chihiro, Aoi, Sakura, and Yasuhiro start to open up, extending their own companionship towards the biker as well.
Byakuya, Hifumi, Celestia, Junko, and Mukuro continue to ignore the biker. They don't exactly become friends - only tolerating each other through extended friends.
Mondo clings on to a few students - Kiyotaka, Chihiro, Leon, Makoto, Sayaka, and Yasuhiro, seeing all of them as good friends.
And oh boy do they get into trouble.
Mondo and Leon always get into trouble - nothing serious, just ditching class or playing nonsensical jokes on each other. They're mostly seen as the delinquents of the class, when they're actually just two dorks sharing one singular braincell.
MONDO AND CHIHIRO ARE GYM BROS YEEEEEEAH
Mondo is Chihiros biggest hype man.
Chihiro looks up to Mondo, always boosting his confidence and erasing his doubts about his masculinity (not completely but it definitely helps ease it a bit)
They're homies.
Makoto tends to be more of a chill friend when compared to Leon.
Makoto reminds Mondo of Takemichi - acting as a calm voice of reason to contrast his brash, impulsive actions.
But still a chill dude, yk?
They don't hang out all that often, but when they do it's a pretty chill hangout, mostly talking about their life over lunch or smth.
Sayaka took one look at Mondo and said "Yeah that's a friend shape right there"
But in actuality they bonded over his makeup Sayaka is OBSESSED.
All it took was one session of doing each other's makeup before they were glued at the hip. Sayaka loves to do his nails or eyeshadow, and they often binge shows together or gossip about other students
The best way I can describe it is a male/female pairing that people think they're dating, when in reality they're just besties. Or mlm and wlw solidarity whichever tickles your fancy.
Yasuhiro was that one dude that Mondo wasn't all that sure about at first - thought he was some weirdo that was constantly on w33d.
And then he figured out he was just like that. That was just his default state.
It got much easier to get along after that revelation.
They're pretty chill when they hang out too. Not chill/relaxed like Makoto, but a chaotic type of chill - which makes zero sense but I'll try to elaborate.
Yasuhiro spouts random bullshit - Mondo eventually latches onto one topic - they converse over said bullshit topic, usually resulting in heated debates or staying up past midnight.
It's really rare, as they mostly hang out through mutual friends, but one on one hangouts? It's either that one video of a drunk guy swinging around a belt, then getting restrained by another guy with said belt - or the two guys arguing over the Wicked Witch of the East.
If I could find the video I would share it but noooooo I suck at searching
And then there's Kiyotaka.
KYOUDAI
As many others, I adore their dynamic. Platonic or romantic, they're great.
For this I'll just focus on platonic stuff.
Literally glued at the hip. By default they hang around each other, doing everything together unless something comes up.
On Mondo's end, he helps Kiyotaka relax and learn to have fun while they're still in high school. This ranges from late night drives, video games, and hang outs with their classmates. Mondo adores his kyoudai!! Normalize male friendships!! I love their ship but I love their friendship/brotherhood just as much AHHHHH
Oh and Mondo likes to cuddle all of his close friends.
You gotta pry him off with a crowbar.
Man got big to hug his friends and dogs simultaneously.
OH AND THERE'S THE TWO GIRLS THAT TERRIFY HIM.
Kyoko's mere aura scares the shit out of him. She is intimidating, but he'll never admit it due to pride.
The same goes with Toko, but it's more understandable as everyone is scared of Toko and Syo. He can tolerate Toko, but Syo? No way in hell.
He can tolerate Kyoko though.
I think they would get along pretty well in both a romantic or platonic aspect.
But platonically? They're a crime solving duo. Mondo's the brawn, she's the brain.
Man I really need to separate this into another part just to expand on the more negative dynamics huh-
Also can y'all tell Mondo is one of my favorites he's great-
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csprslvt · 1 year ago
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you and i, and her. pt 5
Chapter four
Summary: The journey to the WLF begins, Ellie and reader learn to communicate but still, their conversations are tainted with lies. Determined to find Abby, reader thinks back onto her memories. Where could she be? Readers dark past becomes clear to Ellie, still Ellie loves her best friend regardless.
Warnings: IMPLIED ATTEMPTED PAST SA, IMPLIED PAST GROOMING (reader is a victim of childhood grooming and attempted CSA) I am projecting, violence, first wlw heartbreaks, reader is lowkey a liar and a manipulator but whateva, Ellie is falling in love, but the burn is still slow. DESCRIPTIONS OF DEATH, DESPRICTIONS OF MURDER, sexual jokes and references lol, Ellie's sexy ass playing guitar ( I want her), reader wants her gf back, fuck that bitch owen!!! Ellies been in complicated relationships, foreshadowing fr
When Ellie had woken up you were gone. It was the early hours of the morning, sunlight creeping through the darkness. The air was dense and she felt anxious. 
Had you changed your mind already?
Her anxiety was relieved when you stepped through the door, holding breakfast sandwiches, already dressed and ready to go but with dark circles and slightly puffy eyes adorning your face.
“Hey Els”
“Hey.” Ellie spoke, fidgeting with her fingers. “Where did you go?”
“Breakfast for the road” You’d told her, holding up the food.
“Im really glad you slept”
“I was worried you changed your mind” Ellie blurted out, You set the sandwiches down, walking to Ellie and sitting on her bed once again,
“I'd never change my mind about you” 
Ellie flushed, all of this felt so…intimate, so romantic but she knew you didnt mean it in the way it sounded out of context.
“Okay.” Ellie responded, setting down her shaking hands on her lap. For now, her anxiety was soothed. 
You got up, stretching, a tired expression on your face.
“Did you wake up a while ago?”
“Yea, but it's okay, I’ll be fine. I promise”
Ellie nodded, getting up to prepare herself she walked away from you into the restroom.
When she was out of sight, your shoulders dropped, rubbing your weary eyes. Perhaps getting up and exploring so late at night and so early in the morning was a bad idea. But you had to find Abby before Ellie got to her first.
You knew you were spewing a load of bullshit to Ellie’s face. And maybe, if you were a better person, you would have felt guilty. But as every day passed, the more memories came back. Memories of what you had done, the faults of your distance past, the crimes you had committed. First was escaping the QZ at the ripe age of 14, killing the guards in your way without much guilt for your actions, then stealing from raiders and families to survive on the journey to the WLF. When you joined the group, you had met Abby, who trained you in swiftly ending lives and attacking the infected. You remembered when she had first lost her father, who was a doctor looking for a miracle cure.  She never talked about it much, she refused to bring back that traumatic memory, so you never got a name for who had killed him or why. But she knew, you wondered if she was still seeking revenge on that man. You had promised you would help her find him.
Just like how you promised Ellie the same thing.
Then you had gotten separated. Those memories were still fuzzy, but you guessed that you had been kidnapped, maybe kept hostage. Obviously you had escaped and were found by Ellie and Joel. 
Abby must think you were dead. Otherwise she would have found you by now. Right?
You shook yourself out of that headspace, you had a facade to keep up and thinking of Abby would break you down again.
Ellie returned from the bathroom, and it was just now that you noticed how beautiful she was. Pretty eyes, messy hair, freckles and toned arms. One of which was decorated with a tattoo.
As you had walked out the door together, in the break of the morning, you had asked,
“Where did you get a tattoo?”
“My ex-girlfriend Cat gave it to me a long time ago.”
“What made you want to get one?”
“Uhmm well, I had a chemical burn scar. It needed to be covered up, shit was ugly.
You didn't press any further, Ellie was visibly uncomfortable.
“Hm. Well the tattoo is cool”
Ellie smiled, “Thanks y/n”
You made your way to the horse stables once again. No one was really around and Ellie already gathered supplies. You didn't know how she had gotten your gun and axe back. But you didn't question it when she handed them to you.
“Here, so you're safe”
You gladly took your weapons back, rubbing the cool metal of the pistol, it had sentimental value as the first thing you had ever stolen years ago on the run from the QZ.
Carrying the axe on your tool belt, you slide the pistol into a leather holster section.
You got onto a horse, deciding to share one with Ellie so that two weren't suspiciously missing. Ellie was in the front, you gripped her waist, holding on pressed to her back.
The journey began. 
The first mile in was a silent ride, no commotion or infected so far. Eventually Ellie spoke up.
“y/n?” 
“Yea?”
“How did you…you never tell me much about yourself. I…would like to know more about you”
“Oh, hmm” you thought for a second, surely some information was okay to disclose, it was only Ellie. You could just avoid the entire ‘Abby is the love of my life and I grew up with her’ part
“Well. I was in a QZ my entire childhood. I escaped when I was 14.”
“Really? What made you want to leave?”
“I mean FEDRA was so oppressive, I was kind of super misbehaved in school and got sick of it. I impulsively ran away after an incident with a guard.
Ellie nodded in sympathy, she knew exactly what that felt like, your story was so similar to hers so far.
“How did you escape?”
“There was this one guard, he was really sweet on me, it was kind of creepy. He would give me things I wanted, magazines, candy, gifts. He treated me like I was special. I wasn't stupid, this man was a full adult, and he wasn't innocent. He clearly wanted things from me back. I kind of used it to my advantage, he would invite me to his home. He had no wife and no kids, so I figured he was a weirdo. I refused. He took me out of my dorm one night. But I didn't plan on allowing him to take advantage of me.” 
Ellie was tense, enraptured in your story
“What happened then?”
“So we went back to his room and he locked the door. He tried making a move on me. So I grabbed a knife that was conveniently next to the bed and stabbed the shit out of him.”  
Ellie froze, looking back at you.
“Wow. At 14? I'm so sorry that he was such a creep and that he tried assaulting you. That's disgusting. I'm glad he's dead.” 
“So, he obviously was screaming, and it alerted other people in the building. I decided that was my chance. I took a bunch of his shit, like the pistol I have now and ran.”
“You left? Just like that?” 
“Yea I was so pumped with adrenaline that I can't even remember how I managed to do that. But I made it”
“ Where did you go then?”
“I kind of just wandered.”
That was a half lie
“Wow, fending for yourself at just 14? That's crazy. Were you alone?”
“No, I met some friends along the way”
A half truth.
“Tell me about them”
Fuck.
“I met my ex girlfriend”
“Oh?”
“Yea”
“What was her name?”
Lie lie lie
Come up with a random fucking name.
“Alison”
“Hm, why did you break up?”
“Oh you know, we just went our separate ways.”
Literally. 
“So you aren't seeing anybody.” 
“No ones caught my eye I guess”
I'm still hung up on the person that murdered Joel. Oops.
Ellie nodded. She wasn't really sure why she was interested in your single status but she was happy with your response.
The rest of the ride continued with playful banter, Ellie was feeling like she could finally breathe when it was just the two of you joking around. As if for just a few moments she could allow herself to smile before her mind brought her back to the things that haunted her the most. She was getting attached, but that's okay. You promised you'd never leave her. 
Right? 
Arriving in a deserted city the two of you found a music shop. 
“Valiant music shop”
“Should we check for supplies?”
 You both got off the horse, Ellie first, holding your hand and helping you jump down.
“Man. Imagine this place when everything was intact… you could just goof off playing some instruments” 
“We should totally start a band Els”
Ellie laughed, it was the first laugh you've heard from her in a while, it brought you joy. You couldn't deny it, you had an urge to make her laugh. When she first smiled at you, breaking down her awkward exterior it was like you'd suddenly do anything to see it again. But there were certain limits to that, with Abby planted firmly in your heart, there was only so much you'd do for your best friend. 
“No we actually should, I’ll play guitar.”
“I call drums”
“Oh? Didnt take you for a drums player”
“I like banging on random objects it relieves my stress”
Ellie smirked.
“What type of banging we talkin?”
You gave her a shove, she tripped.
“Hey! I could’ve fallen and died from that!”
“You asked for it making stupid jokes like that you freak”
“Freak? Oh i'm totally a freak.” She smirked again, you gave her a disgusted face.
“Ellie oh my god”
“What? Just being honest”
“You can go take your honestly and shove it up your ass,I dont wanna hear it”
“Ass play? Didn't expect that from you either”
This fucking girl.
“Oh my god. Shut the fuck up!” 
“Okay okay, I’ll stop!”
You sighed in relief, glad her teasing was over.
The pair of you went to the second floor of the shop, Ellie found a guitar, preserved in its case.
“Hey! No way!” Ellie jumped excitedly
“Cool! Can you play?”
“Joel taught me…”
“Could you play me a song? I'd love to hear it”
“Yea, yea of course”
Ellie began to strum on the guitar, she sang and if she was anyone else you would have gotten second hand embarrassment. But this was Ellie, and she sang beautifully.
“If I ever were to lose you,
I’d surely lose myself.
Everything I've found here, 
I've not found myself…”
You watched Ellie’s hand as they moved on the strings, fascinated. 
“It's been a long time since i've heard music” you spoke, reminiscing.
“When was the last time?” Ellie questioned after her song was over
“Hmmm” You thought back
“I had a record player. It was a gift from Alison when we first started going out. I had like two records and i'm pretty sure she regretted getting it for me since I started playing them non stop” a happy, shy expression settled on your face and Ellie watched it with adoration.
“What songs were they?”
“Head over heels by ummm Tears for Fears, and the other one is embarrassing”
Ellie caught your eye
“No, tell me! I promise I'll keep it a secret!”
“It's called Love Fool by The Cardigans, came out in like 1996?”
“Never heard of that. What are the lyrics?”
“Hmm something like, love me love me say that you love me? It was embarrassing. The entire song is kind of depressing. It's basically begging to be loved no matter the cost”
Ellie pauses for a moment, lost in thought.
“Sounds like me to be honest” Ellie said in a self-deprecating voice.
You almost laughed, Ellie noticed how you held it in and grinned
“No it's okay, you can laugh.”
You giggled
“Sounds like you?”
“Yea I have this issue where I fall in love and it ends up so complicated. I kind of end up sounding like that.”
You made an awkward expression not exactly sure how to respond
“How many times have you fallen in love, Ellie?”
“Three times”
Your expression changed to a shocked one, for some reason you didnt think Ellie would answer with such ease.
“Was one of them Dina?” 
Ellie cracked her knuckles, a nervous habit.
“Mhm”
“Im sorry, that heartbreak must've been very difficult”
“It was but I don't think anything beats my first heartbreak” Ellie mumbled, thinking of Riley
“Yea, me neither” You only thought of Abby.
“How about you? How many times have you been in love?”
“Once” The answer came naturally, Ellie was surprised
“Just Alison?”
“Mhm, just Alison.”
“I'm shocked I thought you would have been more experienced”
“No one else loved me like she did, and I have never loved anyone else like I loved her”
“Do you…still love her?” Ellie looked away, the question itself, for some reason, hurt a little bit. But you were her best friend. 
“y/n’s love life is none of my business.” She thought to herself
Oh, what to say in this situation?  You pondered 
“No. No I dont”
Big fat  fucking lie.
Somehow, Ellie trusted your response and didn't push it any further.
You both headed back, Ellie once again, holding your hand to get back on the horse.
And as you gripped her waist, gently you rested your forehead on her shoulder. 
Ellie on the other hand, was much too satisfied with these touches.
“Fuck”
“Not this again.”
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imma-dragon · 1 year ago
Text
Octavia X Henrietta (WLW sickfic)
Word count: 2.7k 
It was a blase October day; rainy and slightly foggy out. The wind was sharp and cold, dropping the overall temperature by at least ten degrees. It was all anyone could do, with the worsening weather, to not catch some sort of bug. It was going around the office like wildfire. Some had mild symptoms; a runny nose, a sore throat, or even none at all. Take, for example, Henrietta Davis. The office mom. She had wonderfully poofy, curly hair that went just above her shoulders. The natural honey blonde hue and freckled ivory skin earned her a lifetime of goldilocks jokes, but she just let them slide. She had a kind smile and a warm personality. She was the caretaker. The one to remember things such as birthdays and allergies when nobody else was bothered to. Unlike some in the office, Henrietta considered herself an open book; she would always say she’s got nothing to hide. But there was one thing nobody could figure out. Throughout every flu season and mid-summer cold extravaganza, almost every employee fell victim to whatever ailment made itself prevalent in the town– except for Henrietta. She liked to joke that germs just naturally avoided her out of respect.
But others weren’t so fortunate. Those ‘others’ in particular being one Octavia Reynolds. Her deep brown skin paired beautifully with her maple-coloured eyes, making her a force to be reckoned with. She had such a potential to be quite popular, if she wanted. But things…didn’t really work that way. Similar to Henrietta, she rarely showed any symptoms. Maybe the sniffles, a light cough. But nothing too extreme. She was, in her humble opinion, just too cool for the germs to touch her. 
Several employees stood around the only working water cooler in the place, just gossiping as you’d expect. One leaned in, a cocked eyebrow and a smug smirk. 
“You all coming to the bar tonight?”
Everyone in the circle agreed. 
“You think anyone’s going to beat Octavia tonight?”
A man scoffed, shaking his head. 
“She may be a bitch, but she’s damn good at pool. I don’t think anyone could beat her.”
“I think that’s the only reason she stays in this crap hole. Just to rub it in our faces every week.”
The first woman added on, a bitter shake of her head. They would’ve continued talking, but the woman of the hour showed up. 
Octavia had on one of those scowls that meant business. She said all she needed to without saying a word. She didn’t need to. It was all over her face. Everyone previously surrounding the cooler moved, as if the red sea parting for Moses. Octavia moved with purpose; not a single sway of her hips or crack of her knuckles were frivolous. She meant business. Even if it were just for something as small as getting a cup of water. 
Normally, Octavia was as silent as a mouse. Her footsteps rivalled that of a feather in the wind. She was frequently startling her coworkers with the swiftness of her movements. But not today. Her steps fell heavy, and you could hear an occasional congested sniffle coming from the woman whilst she waited for the bottle to fill up. 
She was simply getting water to warm up. For tea. It was embarrassing. Luckily, nobody dared question her as she walked away, rubbing at her nose as soon as she was out of sight. It didn’t help, unfortunately, as just a moment later, 
“K’huttsu! Hh-httsh!” 
She sighed impatiently. This was already getting annoying. Octavia sniffled harshly, exhaling through her mouth. It wasn’t like she could breathe much through her nose anyway.’ God, what elementary bullshit.’, she thought to herself, pouring the water into a kettle and rummaging through the cupboards for any resemblance of good tea. 
Luckily, there was a small packet of blueberry tea left over from…god knows where. But Octavia was desperate for any sort of remedy to soothe this…gunk she had in her system. After all, she still had a few hours before it was time to go home. Just as she started the kettle, her thoughts were interrupted. Quite suddenly, too. 
“Bless you! Are you feeling okay, Octavia? I know there’s a bit of a bug going around.” 
Octavia cringed, cursing under her breath. Of course it had to be Little Miss Perfect to find her in this state. Octavia wiped at her nose with the edge of her sleeve, turning a little with the same scowl on her face, but even more displeased, knowing that Henrietta definitely saw what just happened. 
“I’m fine. Mind your business.” 
She turned back around, hoping that was the end of the conversation. 
“Oh..well… if you want, I have some Cold & Flu meds in my desk drawer… I keep it stocked during times like these.” 
Henrietta offered a bright smile, even though it was to Octavia’s back. Octavia could just hear the smile in her voice. How frustrating. 
“I said, I’m- hhih!- f-fine.” 
Octavia pressed the back of her wrist to her nose, aggressively quelling the itch that suddenly made itself known. What an inconvenience. 
Henrietta pursed her lips momentarily, looking over Octavia’s shoulder. 
“You’re making tea? I love tea. It’s always good on a rainy day like this. My favourite type of tea is-” 
“Hh’ttshu! E’tshoo!” 
“Oh-! Bless you again. You’re…sure you’re alright?” She asked again, sounding a little dubious. Octavia kept silent, nodding. Only a small sniffle could be heard. She wasn’t fine. Octavia felt like shit. She knew she was burning up, her throat hurt like hell, and whatever the hell was happening with her sinuses was just the icing on top. 
Just as Henrietta was about to continue with what would surely be an incredibly boring lecture about health and safety, the kettle whistled. 
‘Saved by the kettle…’ Octavia thought derisively, rolling her eyes to herself and picking up the kettle off the stove and pouring it into the mug next to it. Steam billowed up from the hot drink, making her nose run. She sniffled, running the edge of her sleeve under her nose again. It was damp from the day’s events. Mainly doing exactly what she just did. Getting a box of tissues would be like shouting from the rooftops that she was sick. And Octavia Reynolds did not get sick. 
She turned, half leaning against the countertops as she sipped her tea. Henrietta raised an eyebrow. Octavia just looked sick…The half-lidded eyes, the slightly pink nose…it all didn’t bode well for Octavia’s case. 
“Let me go and grab that cold medication…I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better, really!” 
Most would have jumped at the offer. Whether it was because she was just a good caretaker, or really just being taken advantage of, was anybody’s guess. 
“I don’t. Need. your pity.” 
Octavia growled, sipping from the mug and looking just past Henrietta, as if off in the distance. She was thinking about the blissful sleep she’ll get as soon as the work day’s over. Octavia completely forgot about the weekly bar night the office held. 
Henrietta smiled sadly at Octavia. 
“Oh, come on, Octavia. You don’t look well–”
“You sayin’ I’m ugly?”
She snapped, her sniffles increasing in frequency. Henrietta’s eyes widened. 
“Oh-oh no! Not at all! You’re- you’re quite pretty….actually..”
If Octavia was paying attention, she’d notice that a blush crept up Henrietta’s neck, creeping up onto her cheeks. How embarrassing. Octavia just shook her head, pushing past her and out of the kitchen. A couple of muffled sneezes could be heard from the other room. Henrietta just sighed and shook her head. There was just no getting through to her. 
Henrietta returned to her desk and continued her work, but at a slower pace than normal. But it wasn’t her fault! Octavia never returned to her desk after their little interaction… That’s it! 
Henrietta stood back up, collecting a couple bottles of cold medicine, some tea, and a couple of soup cans and saltines in a small bag. She deposited it off at Octavia’s desk and waited. And waited. And… waited. 
Almost two hours later, Octavia still hadn’t been seen. Henrietta was beginning to get really worried! She stood up, walking out of the bullpen and down the hall, where a few conference rooms sat. 
She was beginning to think it was a dead end, looking down here was a mistake. That was, until a giant, congested sneeze came from the only room she hadn’t examined yet. Then another. Then a sickly noseblow. Henrietta cringed at the sound. Yikes… that did not sound good. She approached the door, knocking gently and peeking her head in. What met her sights was not a promising one. 
Octavia had paled quite a bit, her nose looked constantly runny, and she was slumped against the table. The light of her laptop only illuminated the bags under her eyes and the fatigue written all over her face. 
“Oh, Octavia, hun.” 
She said sympathetically, sitting down next to Octavia, who immediately sat up. Sluggish, but quick, nonetheless. With a congested sniffle, she rubbed the sleep out of her face.
“Mmm…what do you want…” 
Octavia stretched, groaning quietly. Henrietta reached out a hand to put on Octavia’s shoulder, but Octavia pulled away, stifling two snotty-sounding sneezes into her wrist. 
“H’Kutshh! H’eettssh!” 
Henrietta pulled back, a little surprised. 
“Oh- bless you.” She looked a little pensive, choosing her next words carefully. “Do you… need to go home?” She asked gently, as Octavia, (somehow, grumpily), blew her nose, a sick, gurgling sound escaping her. 
“Ndo…Go away…” Octavia grouched, too tired to even properly insult Henrietta right now. 
Henrietta was not convinced. She leaned forward, shutting the laptop. 
“Or we can pack up…go home and get some rest?” 
Octavia snatched back the laptop, shaking her head. 
“Stop- I’b fide.” She insisted, sniffling and rubbing the palm of her hand against her reddening nose. Octavia stood up, though slightly swaying, and pushed past Henrietta again. 
“Oh! Uhm- or - or maybe, you know–” She looked around, spotting a clock hanging off the wall. “It’s almost time to go home…you could just sit and wait for the day to be over?” 
She knew that her propositions fell on deaf ears as Octavia walked out of the room. Her head felt like it was full of cotton, and her nose felt just as plugged. She was borderline mouth breathing at this point, and she didn’t even care. Octavia left Henrietta in the doorway of the conference room, watching as Octavia stumbled away. 
She shook her head, sighing. Maybe this was a matter better left alone… 
A couple hours later, the work day was done, and all of the employees filed out, each headed to the local bar for a few drinks and games. The most popular one was a simple game of pool. For months now, Octavia was the reigning champion. Nobody could beat her, despite their best efforts. 
But, as it seemed tonight, Octavia wasn’t up to the task. As soon as she got to the bar she grabbed a beer and started drinking, alone, in a corner booth. She watched as her coworkers laughed and mingled about, played darts, watched football, and made stupid little drunken bets throughout the night. Nobody ever really came up to Octavia during these outings. And she was generally fine with that. Especially today. Everybody avoided her especially today, except one brave soul who asked her if she was competing today in pool; to which she hastily snapped that she wasn’t, and stalked off to get another drink.  
Drowsy and now tipsy, Octavia sat alone, contemplating whether or not she should go home before she gets too drunk, sleep whatever this is off before tomorrow. She lurched forward , for what felt like the millionth time tonight, cupping her hands over her mouth. 
“H’kittsh! E’kkktshu! Heh-Hettch!” 
Her hand dropped immediately, and she leaned back against the wooden back of the booth. She ran out of bar napkins in the nearby vicinity to use, so she resorted to the heel of her palm, rubbing at her itchy nose. The alcohol didn’t help with the sneezing, either. Octavia sighed, resting her head in her hand, letting her eyes close for just a moment. Was she drunk? Perhaps. Too sick to stay awake? Entirely probable. 
From across the bar, Henrietta was in a large circle of her coworkers, laughing and watching them all drink themselves silly. Henrietta and a couple others were usually the designated drivers, just to keep everyone safer. 
But this time, things were a little different. 
Henrietta had been watching the other woman from across the bar all night. Sneezing and drinking seemed to be the activity of the night for poor Octavia. When she gave up and just closed her eyes, Henrietta decided it was probably time to check up on Octavia again. 
She grabbed a glass of water and hauled herself over to the booth, sitting next to Octavia, who didn’t even bother to look over at Henrietta. 
“Hey, Octavia. Fun night so far?” 
She asked, sliding the water over to the other woman. Octavia just sniffled again, sounding terribly congested… Henrietta fished through her purse, pulling out a little to-go package of kleenex. She came prepared, opening it and offering a tissue over to Octavia. She had to nudge the woman’s arm to get her attention. 
Octavia sluggishly looked down at the tissues, then back at Henrietta with a confused expression. She didn’t take a tissue. Instead, she leaned closer towards Henrietta with a sly grin on her face. 
“You’re pretty…why don’t you have a boyfriend yet, hmm…?” She asked, her words slightly slurred. She sniffled again, rubbing her nose in an attempt to quell the itch. She was always more sensitive to alcohol’s effect than most. “Like…hhihh- what’s thHhih-the d-deal?” Octavia continued, a terrible itch taking over her senses for a torturous few seconds before, “Hhh’Tshh! K’iitshew! E’Eettshhu!” She snuffled wetly, giving in and taking the tissue, grateful for the softer fabric of the tissues compared to the bar napkins, as she blew her nose. It didn’t do much except create a sad, snotty gurgling sound. 
Henrietta’s eyes widened, blushing a little. “Uhm…I’m not…I don’t want a boyfriend…” She trailed off quietly. While she was advertised as an open book, there was one thing she seldom shared in her professional life; Henrietta Davis was a lesbian. She always knew she was. But nobody else did. Not even her family. 
Octavia frowned at Henrietta. “Whaatttt? You’re so pretty…and nice– I - I know so many guys, in the- in the office… they’d looooove to jump those bones-” She had a mischievous grin on her face, waving her finger in an up-down motion, while Henrietta’s blush only increased. 
“I- uhm…” She looked around, making sure nobody was looking at them. “Octavia- I’m…I’m gay..” 
Henrietta scrunched her eyes shut, prepared for the worst. She was fully expecting the other woman to react negatively. Throw water in her face, yell, something. But no. there was just silence. She slowly opened her eyes, surprised by the warm smile that was on Octavia’s face. 
“So you’re telling me…” Octavia started, scooting a little closer to Henrietta, “That I actually have a chance?” 
She leaned forward, surprising Henrietta with an, admittedly sloppy, kiss. It set off fireworks in her, until she came to her senses and pulled back. Wistfully, she looked down at Octavia. 
“You’ve been drinking, Octavia…” Henrietta murmured, a hand on the other woman’s cheek. 
Octavia’s face was flushed with a light pink; whether that was from the illness, alcohol, or from the situation at hand, it was anyone’s guess. 
“And?” She sniffled, bringing her hand up to her nose again, lurching forward. It was so sudden, she barely had time to cover it up, and some of it landed gently on Henrietta’s arm. 
“H’uttshuu! Ee’etssh! Sorry-” 
“You’re also sick. You need some rest, hun. Not a one night stand with a coworker.” She laughs softly, her voice dipping to a low tone, “As much fun as that would be…” Octavia noisily blew her nose as Henrietta talked. 
“How about I drive you home, get you better, and then we could talk, okay? You look exhausted, dear.” 
Octavia sniffled, letting her shoulders drop a little. She was exhausted. Today had been a long day, trying to act like she was fine. She eventually nodded in agreement and Henrietta smiled, happy to have finally won her over. 
“Let’s go.” And with that, the two left the bar together, unknowingly marking the beginning of what would become a lifelong relationship. 
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eleonkraken · 1 year ago
Text
I'm back on my thinking about Doctor Who bullshit and like,
why do people unironically like and/or enjoy the Chibnall seasons?
I understand that people who view tv uncritically might enjoy it. It's hard to understand because I would think even those people would struggle not to be bored by most Chibnall episodes but I concede that it's possible.
The part that really drives me to distraction is how people who really care about Doctor Who can unironically like, and even love, this era of the show.
Why is that a thing that people do? I've been trying to come up with explanations but I don't know if they make any sense.
Because there's an actor in it that you think is incredibly skilled, feel personally invested in, or just generally really like.
Because there are more women and people of color in the show now than before, a more international focus, and more poc in prominent roles behind the scenes
Because you're a huge fan of Doctor Who in general and you go into it with a predisposition to forgive flaws and focus on the good. If you let anything ruin your enjoyment of the era then you've lost the chance to experience new Doctor Who for several years.
Because you gave up on Doctor Who at some point during Moffat's run due to his problems with plot and/or misogyny. You came back to find a female Doctor with a different showrunner and feel personally invested in the new era being just as good as, or better, than the preceding one (because you feel so much animosity towards the preceding one).
Because you feel that there's something that Doctor Who did terribly prior to Chibnall that has now been resolved, and this makes you appreciate the entire era (although I don't know what that would be).
Because you ship the Doctor and Yaz and you've participated in the creation of a fandom with its own fanon surrounding the two of them. You enjoy watching episodes that feature them because you're able to focus on their relationship through this fanon lens. (You're sad and/or annoyed that there aren't enough popular wlw ships so you feel protective and defensive of them and the perceived quality of the episodes in which they appear).
Maybe you can help me out, DW tumblr. Why do you like series 11-13?
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girl4music · 9 months ago
Text
youtube
God I just want more strong female representation. Not necessarily WLW representation but just female in general. Women-led TV art/entertainment. Female empowerment. Female vulnerability and strength.
I want a representation of the human condition where females can have all their internal conflicts and conditions but not be punished for them. Or if they have to be punished in the narrative - fully explore as to why they do. What the necessity for it is. Whether it’s valid and justified. Whether it serves a purpose in the narrative for that female character. Does it help them grow and evolve into a better person? Does it help them combat their internal demons and heal their mind, body and soul? Or is it only there in the service of someone else’s story arc because they don’t matter as much as that other character does? I’ve always said that punishment for punishments sake is just stupid. It serves nothing. It helps nothing. It evolves nothing. And when it comes to female punishment in TV art/entertainment in particular, there is very rarely an exploration of the reasoning why they have to be. And that’s because of poor narrative writing choices more so than it is because of purposeful ignorance or spite.
Poor narrative writing choices because of the anxiety of providing sufficient representation and the anxiety of cancellation. Rushed written and produced content. Female representation in particular has had a real hammering. I mean you still are provided it but the problem is the lack of care and conscientiousness with it. Representing a female on-screen is different to representing a male on-screen. Not necessarily because there’s differences in the genders or sexes. I am the last person to care about gender stereotypes and the “correct” gender roles and bullshit like that. That’s not what I mean. No, it’s more so about trying to depict the subtle nuances of gender identity. Think of it like the treatment of ability VS disability. What’s required to treat that disabled individual person equally to the abled person will obviously be different things. So you’re more so pointing out the differences in how females VS males are treated on-screen than you are of how they’re represented. Females need to and should be treated differently to males and vice versa on-screen but it should never be in an unequal way the same way it should never be between an abled person and a disabled person. You shouldn’t have to point out the weaknesses or debilitations of one more than the other. You shouldn’t have to punish one more than the other. That’s what I’m trying to say about how female representation has had a real hammering taken to it recently in TV art/entertainment. Or at least since the likes of ‘Xena’, ‘Buffy’ and ‘Charmed’ were on air. All notoriously women-led shows. Two created by men at that.
I haven’t really seen anything last or stand the test of time since. I mean I’ve found ‘Wynonna Earp’ but I don’t know if it’s significant enough in female representation to have longevity well after it finished with it being produced by a small network then and an even smaller one for when it comes back next year with a 90 minute scripted special titled ‘Wynonna Earp: Vengeance’. It’s certainly something but it’s not enough. We need more female representation and specifically female empowerment representation because what we’ve got at the moment is pathetic.
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wujufim · 1 year ago
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rules - read before requesting
hi all; i’m back on my bullshit (writing in the kpop sphere); i’ve been in fandom spaces for most of my life but wlw kpop writing truly used to feel like home. i really hope you all enjoy what i post!
my askbox is currently open for requests for drabbles, headcanons, most-to-leasts, scenarios, reactions and general kpop girlgroup chitchat. i write both sfw and nsfw content, and i ask that minors do not interact with anything i post.
navigation around my blog should be fairly simple as all posts are tagged by ‘groupname post’ and 'memberstagename post’, but if you need help finding anything in particular just reach out.
the groups i write for are;
aespa billlie dreamcatcher everglow fromis_9 gfriend (g)-idle ive itzy iu kep1er le sserafim lightsum loona/artms mamamoo nmixx purplekiss red velvet snsd stayc taeyeon triples twice weeekly weki meki wjsn .. and more. if there's any group you'd like me to write for, just reach out and let me know. i've been a kpop enjoyer for years now, and i listen to girl groups almost exclusively. gugudan, berrygood and laboum are some of my all time ults (unfortunately).
i only write for members born in 2003 or earlier. if you’re unsure of an idols age, please check before requesting. no exceptions; anyone requesting pieces for idols born pre-03 will be blocked immediately.
i write member/member and reader/member.
this is a kink/fetish friendly space. i will write most things as long as they’re not explicitly on my 'NOPE’ list below. some of the things people ask about often that i am comfortable writing are;
armpit fetish blood play body worship electrostim fisting foot and armpit fetish general BDSM themes such as impact play, degradation, and D/s dynamics hybrids knife play omegaverse omorashi pet play polyamory/consensual nonmonogamy public sex sounding watersports
i will NOT write;
consensual non consent or rape scenes gun play incest (including fantasy incest + step-cest) high school aus yandere aus anything that's literally illegal - i should hope this goes without saying.
i prefer that cishet men avoid this blog as i’m queer as fuck. i will be writing predominantly wlw pieces, but i’m more than comfortable writing for people who use he/him pronouns or folks who have penises.
please don’t send the same prompt multiple times - it’s likely in my asbox waiting for me to get to it, so try to be patient. if you’re genuinely concerned that tumblr has swallowed your request alive please reach out to me off-anon so that i can confirm whether i’ve received your message or not. i won’t judge anyone for their prompts, i promise.
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