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SOMETHIN' STUPID || VIKTOR
pairing: viktor (arcane)/fem!reader additional tags: viktor's pov, viktor is a certified yearner, maybe ooc, unrequited love that's actually requited, no physical descriptions for reader other than having dainty fingers and being shorter than viktor, hopefully correct use of czech pet names, barely proofread synopsis: the ever-brilliant viktor finds himself drowning in feelings for his colleague, so what does he do? bury them, of course.... until he learns that love is not something you can just ignore.
author's note: hello everyone! it's been a long, long while since i've written anything so i thought i would try and see if the ol' writing machine (aka my brain) still works lol. this is more of a blurb than anything so please go easy on me. also trying out something new by writing in present tense (lmk if it flows well!) viktor might be a little ooc but i'm still trying to fully understand him. hopefully my characterization of him in future fics (if any) will be more faithful to the viktor you're all familiar with. anyways, enjoy 2k words of viktor yearning like CRAZY đ«¶đŒ
Viktor doesnât know how much more of this he can take. How many more times would your eyes meet from across the room at one of those parties he never really wanted to attend in the first place? How many more times would your fingers brush in the early morning, when he accepts the steaming sweetmilk that you so kindly got for him? How many more times would your laughter intermingle softly late into the night, when exhaustion took over and your writing started to look more like chicken scratch rather than letters?
He might just go insane.
How was it possible to want someone this much? Maybe heâs experienced something like this before, in tiny amounts, for people he hasnât thought about in years. Deep down, he knows that even if he added all of those fleeting romances together, it would still only be a fraction of what he feels now. For you.
He canât pinpoint that exact moment in time when everything changed. There were definitely a few of those moments that stood out more than others, but none of those instances were the catalyst for whatever this is. But they certainly donât help his case.
A few words of encouragement.
A book recommendation.
A smileâ so soft, so intimate, he briefly allows himself to believe that it was meant just for him. Something precious for him to keep, to be his and his alone.
In the dim light of the lab, he finds you asleep on your desk. The humming glow of the hex crystals leaves you blanketed in a gentle blue. Heâs heard tales of this before, from when he bothered to listen to such things. It would happen just like this, they said: his heart would beat so fast, it threatened to leave his chest entirely. His skin would burn with something unmistakable, a feeling that left one in a state of simultaneous confusion and clarity.
He feels it all now and he finds it polarizing. Itâs too much and not enough. He chases and runs away from it at the same time. A part of him wants it to stop, to go away and leave him forever for the sake of ending this game heâs painfully losing⊠but a greater part of him hopes that it will grow and grow to the point where maybe youâll notice and do something about it. His palms get a little sweaty just thinking about making the first move. Symptoms of a lovesick fool.
The soft sound of your breathing quiets the pounding of his heart, prevents the wretched feelings from overflowing and spilling everywhere. Even if it was just for tonight. Tonight, he keeps his lips sealed, fights to keep himself from reaching for you. It would be unbecoming of him.
His eyes land on you again, observing how your head rested on your arms. Understanding hits him then, why youâre so bothered by seeing him stay at the lab so late that he ends up falling asleep. That position couldnât have been comfortable. Of course, he knew that from experience, but itâs your comfort heâs thinking about right now. He wonders if this is what you felt whenever you woke him up and implored him to go home.
Surely not.
No, he canât wrap his head around you possibly viewing that act the same way he does. Not when he wants to bottle this moment, wants to capture the preciousness of seeing you like this. It just canât be the same.
So can you really blame him if when he finally rests a hand on your shoulder to wake you gently, he lets it linger there for just a little longer? An infinitesimal piece of time that he claims for himself. He never thought himself to be the sentimental type, but he cherishes it all: he cherishes the way you blink slowly as you returned to the waking world, and your tired murmur of his name that makes his chest tighten.
Itâs just a wisp of a moment, never really tangible enough for him to hold in his hands, but he cherishes it all the same. Itâs burned in his memory, in his very being, the same way everything else about you is. Every piece of you that you so generously gifted him.
âYou should go home, darling.â
The word slips past his lips before he could even think about it. But he allows himself this one indulgence. He canât help it. Heâs always been a bit greedy.
âWhat time is it?â you ask.
âFar too late for you to be here,â he answers.
You huff out a breath of a laugh, âThatâs rich coming from you.â
He finds himself smiling. How does someone manage to be so endlessly endearing without even trying?
It takes an embarrassing amount of effort for him to pull back his hand from your shoulder. Had you been more awake and had the room been brighter, he mightâve schooled his expression into something more neutral. Something to hide the unbridled adoration in his eyes. He doesnât do that now. With the shield of darkness to protect him, he lets the mask come off. He lets his affection for you wash over him in waves. It wouldâve been liberating, if it wasnât for the tiny detail that that affection was unrequited.
Still, he says your name with utmost care. âYou must go home and rest.â
To his surprise, you listen. You mumble a tired "okayâ and gather your belongings, slipping on your coat. âYou should go home, too, Vik.â
âI will. Soon. I just need to finish a few things.â
Your face twists into a frown, âNo, youâll do that tomorrow.â Before he can interject, you speak up again, âJust⊠come with me? Itâs late and I donât want to walk home alone.â
His brain refuses to reconcile with what his eyes see: the trepidation written all over your features, the way you clutch the lapel of your coat just a little tighter. He knows itâs a trap, you just want to get him out of the lab but how could he possibly reject the promise of a few more minutes with you? The chance to pretend, even if itâs just for those precious few minutes, that he was taking you home as someone more than a colleague? More than a friend? Only a fool would say no to you. Or perhaps he was a fool either way. He really must be going insane.
He says yes almost instantly.
Itâs cold in Piltover tonight. It makes his bad leg ache more than it already does, and so his strides are a bit more careful. He doesnât say anything about how you also slow down to match his pace but he appreciates your considerate gesture nonetheless.
The moon hangs in the sky big and bright, making everything around you seem softer. Itâs picturesque. Almost romantic. He tries his best not to entertain that thought for much longer. Instead, he focuses on what you say to him so he could ignore the traitorous thoughts his mind conjures up and the way his knees were protesting because of the cold.
Conversation with you is easyâ terrifyingly so. It was one of the first things he noticed about you when you first met.
Early on in the process of finding sponsors and securing funding, him and Jayce quickly realized that they needed help. Yes, Jayce is a friend of the Kiramman family. Yes, Viktor is Heimerdingerâs protĂ©gĂ©, but theyâre academics. At the end of the day, Jayceâs warm personality could only do so much when he was still greatly inexperienced with navigating these more political spaces and for all of his experience and perceptiveness, Viktor knows heâs no good at sweet-talking sponsors, either.
Enter, you.
Caitlyn Kiramman was the one to recommend you, her former tutor. Jayce was quick to back her up, remembering that you were also Academy alumni; a particularly strategic businesswoman. Viktor was hesitant at first, knowing that a third party could complicate things. Hextech was born out of the dream to help people. He worried that bringing business and politics (even though he knew it was necessary) into the mix would warp Hextech into something it wasnât. Jayce convinced him to take a gamble, and it seemed that the potential of Hextech was enough to bring you back to Piltover from your travels across Runeterra.
It took him a while to warm up to you. You werenât nobility, but most definitely well-off. Even more so after your years as a business consultant to organizations all over the continent. He respected you, sure, but Viktor had a hard time trusting someone who was so⊠privileged. How could you possibly understand how important it was that Hextech remained a beacon of hope for the less fortunate? Perhaps it was naive of him to think that way, as much as he hated to admit it.
But true to your reputation, you delivered exactly what they needed. You bridged the gap between Viktor and Jayceâs hopes for Hextech and the support they needed from sponsors, protecting them and their inventions from being taken advantage of.
Suffice to say, you earned his admiration.
Never in a million years would Viktor imagine that you would captivate his entire being, too.
It was daunting. Scary, really. Especially now that heâs beginning to understand the full extent of his affections. Years and years of burying that softness from his youth deep beneath the armor of his intellectâ all that hard work diminished by a pretty girl. Gods, he really is just a man. Not even that. With you, he feels like a highschooler with a crush. Itâs painful. Downright humiliating. But he wouldnât trade it for anything. Not when you link your arm around his, laughing at something he said. Was he really that funny? Probably not. Heâs just happy to make you laugh.
âYou donât have to be nice about it. Salo is a grade-A asshole,â you grinned. âWe both know it. If I have to spend another dinner with him present I might actually stab a fork in my eyes.â
He smiles, âAh, but that wouldnât save you from his incessant chatter.â
âIâll stab the fork into my ears too."
âI might just follow after you,â he hums, âyouâll have to check if it works first, though.â
Your friendship blossomed when your visits to the lab became less for work and more for leisure. You wanted to visit, wanted to learn more about what he and Jayce were working on and why. Everything after that was just dominoes. You, with all your fiery passion and sharp wit, have become a permanent fixture in his life and now? He could hardly imagine life without you in it. You're one of his dearest friends and, much to his dismay, that makes his current predicament even more challenging than it already is.
Before he knew it, the two of you were standing in front of your apartment buildingâ one of the most luxurious in Piltover. He could only imagine how much it cost, though he knew for certain that your penthouse probably barely made a dent in your wealth. Heâs gotten somewhat used to your differing lifestyles, but heâs never completely able to not marvel at it. A gust of wind kissed his skin once more as he turned to look at you.
âThis is me,â you say, gloved hands in your pocket and your lovely, lovely face framed by your hair and ruby red scarf. He recognizes it as the gift he gave you a year ago now. A spur-of-the-moment purchase on one of the rare occasions he was actually outside Academy grounds. He remembers thinking that the color would look nice on you. He was right. He finds himself holding onto the seconds before he has to go. âThank you for walking me home, Viktor.â
âOf course,â he nods but the calmness of his voice donât match the way his eyes bore into yours. âItâs only proper.â
âProper?â
âYes. Proper. I am a gentleman, after all.â
His accent comes out thicker, emphasizing the words more than he means to.
âI didnât take you for someone who cared much about propriety,â you tease.
âIs it because Iâm from the undercity?â he deadpans and he relishes in the look of horror on your face that replaces your grin.
âWhat? No!â you exclaim, smacking his arm when you realize heâs just joking. âYou. Are. Impossible.â
A laugh bubbles out of his chest, âOh, thatâs cruel. You would hit a defenseless man? How heartless.â
âShut up. That cane of yours is a weapon of war. Donât think I havenât seen you smack Jayce with it.â
âIf I hit him with it, he probably deserved it.â
âPoor Jayce,â you laugh as well. âRemind me not to get on your bad side.â
Viktor smiles.
âI do not think you could even if you tried, lĂĄsko."
He freezes and so do you. The laughterâthe musicâthat you shared for the briefest of moments was thoroughly snuffed out, leaving you both in a silence that threatens to swallow him whole. He didnât mean to do that. He didnât mean to speak so gently, but there is not a part of Viktor that could withhold this sincerity from you. Specks of the truth, of the confession heâs barely managed to wrangle into submission and lock away somewhere dark and unreachable.
He pulls back on instinct. Heâs shown too much, said too much. You donât move. He is petrified.
Your eyes widen and he sees his reflection on them, staring back at him. This is it, he thinks. Heâs crossed the line and heâll have to deal with the crushing blow of your rejection.
You manage to compose yourself and what you say next is⊠well, unexpected. Your tone is light, clearing the air and allowing him to breathe again.
âDo you say that to every woman or am I a special case? Iâd hate to be part of a roster.â
Heâs taken aback, but he feels a weight lifted off his shoulders. You are a miracle in his eyes. Washing away his worries with a kind smile and a few choice words. He laughs again and this time, he doesnât stop himself from speaking the truth. Itâs now or never.
âSurely you know by now that you are singular,â he whispers, his accent a pleasant drawl in your ears. He takes a step forward. It is gravity that pulls him in, not the Earthâs, but yours. A force that he canât help but be drawn to. Not that he would ever dare to resist it now that his fear has shrunk down to something a little less debilitating.
His face is inches from yours. You donât move. He gets a little braver.
âI do not appreciate your implication that I would pay attention to anyone else,â his voice is low, honest. âAs if anyone could compare to you. As if you donât hold my very being in the palm of your hand. MilĂĄÄku, I adore you. Donât you know that?â
There is a hint of pleading in his tone, begging you to understand the full scope of his feelings from those few words so that he wouldnât unravel before you, a bundle of nerves and petals the same shade as your scarf.
âSay something. Please,â his fear rears its ugly head once more. âSay the word and weâll pretend this never happened. I will remain your colleague and nothing more. A friend, if you would allow it.â
âWhat if I donât want that?â you ask, your own voice a little shaky with uncertainty. Maybe it was also fear. That, heâs not quite sure.
Viktor doesnât fully trust what heâs hearing, thinks it to be a figment of his deluded imagination, but his heart is screaming at him now to push forward.
âWhat is it you want, lĂĄsko? Tell me and it shall be yours.â
You're almost breathless when you finally respond, âYou. I want you."
The world stills. Time itself screeches to a halt. There is only you and him, together in this moment that he knows will be woven into the threads of his soul. He has never known euphoria quite like this. He canât name it yet, doesnât know if this is love. He can only hope that it will be.
When he looks into your eyes again, he does not see his own terrified reflection. He just sees you. And the sheer intensity of your gaze that rivals his own. Have you always looked at him that way? Was he just too blind to see it?
âDo you mean that?â he finds himself asking. He has toâ has to make sure that this is real.
You smile again, dainty fingers intertwining with his. It is a gentle smile, a hopeful smile that answers his question before you even open your mouth.
âI do,â your voice is so gentle and yet it squeezes his heart. âIâm yours, Viktor, if youâll have me.â
He brings your knuckles to his lips, places a reverent kiss on them like youâve given him the world. In a way, thatâs exactly what you did. Maybe his lips were always meant to be on your skin, worshipping you like the goddess you are. It feels too natural for it to mean anything else.
And for the first time in a long time, he allows himself to hope.
âI would love nothing more.â
#viktor x reader#viktor arcane x reader#arcane#fanfiction#viktor fanfic#x reader#reader insert#arcane reader insert#viktor arcane
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You mightâve realised ive been liking parkour civilisation recently:) Heres my version of Evbo and his Master Friend, theyâre dating lolâŠ
Timelapse and other stuff under the cut :)
Yes I made the idiots in the simsâŠ
#parkour civilisation fanart#emf parkour civilization#evbo x emf#emf parkciv#parkciv#evboâs master friend#evbo fanart#evbo#pkciv#pkciv fanart#help these tags are so confusing to use lol#This fandom should really just give Evbos Friend a nameâŠ#I called him Mav in the sims idk#sims 4 screenshots
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WHAT AM I MEANT TO SAY WHEN PEOPLE ASK ABOUT MY HOBBIES LIKE OH. IM VERY OBSESSED WITH AN IMPROV GROUP FROM LONDON. YEAH WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM I SMILE LIKE A MANIAC AND IâVE CRIED BECAUSE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME MULTIPLE TIMES. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
#like what am I meant to say when people ask me what Iâve been up to!??!! đđđ âbeen making lots of gay fan edits of aubergine farmersâ#help#/lh#shoot from the hip#all caps#I love fandom being what I do for fun donât get me wrong I love it SO MUCH#but like#People I know irl can be very judgemental and Iâm not used to sharing it with people yk#But itâs like my only obsession right now and people I know irl are confused as to why I seemingly donât have an obsession rn đđ#Because Iâm scared lol#Like thereâs nothing weird about it really#but idk#Anyway we stay silly :3#Iâve shared it with people who donât think itâs weird/already knew im weird#BUT IM TALKING ABOUT IT MORE AND ITS GOOD#anyway sorry for rambling in the tags#This is a silly /lh post lol (/gen)
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The Close family but as CATS*.â§
I'll be making these sillies into STICKERS for the upcoming DnDads live show (Both Amsterdam and Tilburg) !!! Very excited!!
#not so excited about the couple of hours I'll be spending cutting these out tho lol#let's try to tag this with everything I keep using to try to look up other peoples dndads live show posts#dndads live show#dndads show#dndads europe#dungeons and daddies show#dungeons and daddies live show#dungeons and dungeons europe#dungeons and daddies tour#dungeons and daddies europe tour#dndads europe tour#dndads tour#okay I'm done now with these#I REALLY LIKE HOW THESE SILLIES TURNED OUT#especially Nicky and Taylor#my roommate helped me pick the eye colors#and got really confused when he saw the name Taylor Swift#dndads#dungeons and daddies#nicholas close foster#glenn close#taylor swift#nick close#nicholas foster#stickers#my art#areas tour#dndads areas tour
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actually making my tags from my last post into their own post. writers who struggle with grammar, spelling, typos, errors etc i love you. writers who struggle with rereading their stuff thoroughly no matter how much they try, who don't always have access to other people to help them read i love you. whilst reading through and checking for these things is good practice i really believe that the weight of it should not be put wholly on the writer's shoulders. especially writers who are neurodivergent, disabled, have any condition that can impede their reading + comprehension, are overworked and overtired, are not writing in their native language, list goes on....because grammar mistakes/language mistakes/typos have nothing to do with your abilities as a creative. this is where editors should be uplifting writers, helping them, not scrutinising them for something they cannot always control
#and in case anyone is going to say it...like i said in my tags i get that it can be frustrating#if it feels like a piece has NOT been reread or checked for these things at all#but even then its like...do you know the writers context? their background?#does the story itself still hold up strong creatively?#im just saying some leniency and grace goes far and esp in the short story/litmag scene i think#an editor who is considerate and inclusive should not use those things against a piece's worth#for me its like....1) the word spelling and grammar check is really confusing to work with sometimes#and also just. straight up does not work sometimes#and 2) no matter how much i reread and check for spelling and grammar i will forget a word. i will misuse a word. i will forget things#a bitch is forgetful! a bitch struggles with rereading their pieces and i do what i can to help that#but i need help and grace from the editors who wish to work with me!#i remember one time i wrote vacancy as vanacy in an excerpt in a writing update#literally passed me by and i was so humiliated?? nobody even pointed it out#but i assumed people were going to think of me less that i would make a simple mistake#its just...v hard and daunting being open with your writing sometimes lol lets all be kind to each other
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said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went âok why do you think that is?â and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went âok so maybe you arenât good at friendshipâ and i. have never regretted spending ÂŁ50 more in my life lol
#A RANT IN THE TAGS MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I AM WRITING THIS WARNING RETROSPECTIVELY#ÂŁ50 to feel like never trying to speak to anyone again or forge any connections THANKS RUTH#Ruth remember when I said that every friendship Iâve had Iâve never truly known if itâs a friendship or if itâs one sided#remember when I told you that my friend groups always had people who had a favourite and I was never the favourite#remember when I told you that several friend groups have disbanded but not really they actually just made new spaces without me?#remember that? remember my trauma? remember?#because I DO!!!#I was not born to have friends I donât think#I canât even make friends with other autistic people or other weird people or other queer people#I donât even think I could make friends with a clone of myself#this is so guy wrenchingly isolating lol#like girl what do you want from me? keep everyone at arms length like I used to?#try not to let myself get attached to people in case they decide they donât want to be close to me anymore?#please it is not great advice Ruth#THE WORAT PART is that I literally was like âI donât message too much because Iâm overbearingâ#and she asked where the proof was#and all I had was the complete dissolving of any relationship where I tried or tried too hard#so now Iâm left in this confusing space of do I message too much or not enough because I have no happy medium#and she knows SHE KNOWS I also have energy issues and executive dysfunction stuff going on#and I know she is just trying to help and get me to think about this stuff#but it was just not the time lmao#finnie shouts into the void
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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so iâve rectified this in the tags lmao
iâm over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i donât often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / iâve never dated anyone / i have a best friend iâve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i#lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guysâŠ.. like my hair hasnât been blonde in a good year or so and it hasnât been my natural blonde#in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one#i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if thatâll ever happen⊠would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare#my hair is currently like dark dark brown⊠have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet weâll see#i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn theyâre a very chipped lilac colour#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao#okay technically i donât play an instrument anymore! but in the past iâve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too#spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then thatâs not me but this is literally my degree itâs my whole brand#yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree#literary criticism for said span/ital books and⊠fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that iâve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute#okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here#kara lore#bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol#tag games
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When it comes to climate change I am firmly in the âwhatever it takesâ category
Sulfates or diamond dust injected into the atmosphere could cool the earth by 1.6°? Do it. It costs trillions of dollars and people wonât like it bc of the chemtrails or whatever? Idc
Dehydrate the stratosphere causing cooling? Go for it sounds great
Forcefully pass legislation that means people are no longer allowed to use the most carbon emitting things? Go for it. Idc if itâs against our personal freedoms or whatever we can get those back when we stop destroying the world
Just straight up destroy HQs/factories of every company that is causing a large amount of emissions? Yep I support it even if I might have to not say that out loud when it actually happens for legal reasons lol
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING so if people are refusing to reduce emissions weâre simply going to have to DO SOMETHING ELSE
Sure it would be great to just elect leaders who care about the climate and have them legislate to remove emissions at a reasonable rate and turn things around but with globalization leading to the current world political climate etc it is now impossible to get anywhere in politics without being corrupt as hell and therefore impossible to elect non-evil leaders who care about anything other than money at this current moment, and Iâm pretty sure we wonât get people who care about the earth (since they still have a few decades left on it and would have to suffer with us) until the entire current group of elderly oligarchs dies off so weâre gonna have to get something else going ASAP
My main hope is that now that dump the orange is back at it again people will actually start paying attention to the bad and damaging things this fuckawful country is doing and push back against it instead of going âwell sure climate change is bad but I donât want to criticize the prez in case the other guy gets elected instead so Iâm just gonna say their policies are great!â
#one thing I do wish is that I actually knew how to support these things#like Iâm scared by some stuff and encouraged by research some scientists are doing#but how do I help those scientists actually put their solutions into practice? idk Iâm 25 years old I basically know nothing lol#and doing research myself just gets me more confused#I have such a big variety of ppl in my extended family yet no one who can actually help me figure out how to help lol#Iâm also a fucking coward so Iâm too scared to do something big and impactful that sends me to jail where I can no longer protect myself#side note for anyone actually reading the tags: we had zero good options this el*ction for climate#uwu girl boss k*mal* went on about how she loves fracking and also the whole ïżœïżœïżœmost lethal militaryâ thing (war accelerates global warming!)#so at the moment the d*ms donât have anyone useful up for high offices#this is gonna have to be either an outside the gov thing#or an âafter the current old gen peaces outâ thing#personal rant
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I see people saying the for you page is trash and all that but like ??? i dont know who to follow. help.
#reddit refugee#idk what im doing#help#idk what tags to use#new here#confusing#i'm usually a lurker lol#the for you page isn't even that bad...#i keep editing the post just to add tags lmao#this is so fun omg
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help a poor disabled queer get their teeth fixed
hey y'all. i'll keep this short.
my teeth are in bad shape, and my previous dentist fucked up my fillings, which made everything worse. i haven't been able to eat on one side of my mouth for months, and it's worsening my chronic jaw pain. i also need my wisdom teeth taken out, because two of them are impacted.
the projected cost of treatment is almost ÂŁ2,000, and could end up being much more by the time i can afford it - the longer i leave it, the worse the decay will get and the more long term damage there will be.
anything at all helps, and reblogs are just as appreciated.
paypal
#tags: for anyone confused if they know im in the uk - dentists are essentially no longer available on the nhs. most people are either going#i've never done one of these posts before so idk what tags to use#anyway. help lol
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im going to die please
#twitter-migrant#idk what im doin lol#im using the tags its showing me please im so confused#am i allowed to just word vomit#god help me
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Hi Rachel,
In some of my writing Iâm beginning to notice more and more that certain characters (not all) remind me of myself lol. And I hate it, I go back and rewrite them. But Iâm interested if you relate to any of your characters as well soâOut of the characters youâve written (Lonan, Reeve, Harrison, etc..) who do you think is the most like you? And whatâs your take on writers seeing themselves in some of their characters?
feel about seeing reflections
Hahaha I used to HATE writing characters that were like me, and it took a while to realize that actually, they ALL are me in some iteration. To answer your question about writers seeing themselves in their charactersâif writing characters that are âself-insertsâ makes you joyful, DO IT!!! If writing characters who arenât self-inserts but have attributes to you makes you joyful, DO IT! Or if youâre not into itâthatâs fine too! Life is too short! Have fun with what works for you!
My experience below, this gets kind of intense as a warning! CW: suicidal ideation, disocciation
Aligning myself with my characters has been an intensely life-saving experience. Iâm not sure Iâd be here if it were not for Lonan⊠16-year-old Rachel WAS him, and also needed him because literally nobody else âunderstoodâ where I was at except for him (undiagnosed autism for BOTH OF US??).
There was a time of my life where I couldnât emotionally regulate at all, and in moments of stress, would often dissociate and quite literally converse with this man (looking back now, this was just a coping mechanismâconfirmed by my doctor btw!âbut for a couple years he was a genuine part of my psyche, like moved out of just character territory). I think I talked about this years ago, but I have a really distinct memory of disconnecting so much I quite literally thought he was THERE next to me, which I neededâhe really became an externalization of the things I couldnât deal with (or didnât understand how to deal with). I needed to see myself reflected in the eye of someone else and for a really long time that was Lonan for me. Actually screaming crying thatâs so cute.
And Lonan is similar to me in a lot of ways! This is a side tangent but when I was first diagnosed as autistic it made me wonder if Iâd inadvertently written any autistic characters & it struck me way back then that the person most similar to me (Lonan lol) is probably also autistic. I was likeâsensory issues?? No emotional regulation?? Speaks a bit oddly?? We are THE SAME. Havenât really confirmed this in canon lol but Iâve been thinking about it since 2021.
Funnily, now that I have that diagnosis, my life is a lot more stable so like⊠Iâm not currently the most like Lonan lol. But me at 16-19??? Absolutely him.
Unfortunately, I am currently HARRISON, which isnât ideal but just like heâs a 21-year-old experiencing horrors Iâm a 21-year-old experiencing horrors (which is why BB is sometimes painful to write cuz Iâm like oooooh Iâm feeling this⊠too much). To be fair, Iâve always said Iâm the introverted version of Harrison (because I am lol our personality types are the same, not that I believe in those but since I was like 13 Iâve said this). But just like Lonan, Harrison has helped me now process some tough things this year that Iâm not sure how else I wouldâve survived. Itâs important to me that I have fictional vessels to explore my own life with because it can help me identify problems & then learn to empathize with myself by empathizing with a character first.
Of course theyâre also separate from meâthey absolutely didnât start as ME but as time goes on I start seeing myself in them particularly (Reeve sometimes tooâour kindred spirits with processing toxic relationships <3). Maybe itâs because I am autistic, but I find it useful to understand my experiences via someone else. I love seeing the ways we can inform each other.
My TL;DR is Iâm Harrison if he was Lonan so I guess Iâm BB Harrison. Love this for me so much. But also add autism. Which is probably already there because: Lonan. LMAO and a dash of Reeveâs compartmentalization skills. And we have me!
#also to add in the tags because Iâm feeling vulnerable lol#Lonan also helped me process my own queerness a lot#like he still does lol but#I was extremely alone in a lot of my experiences#and also extremely afraid (I still am)#& he is also feeling that way too in MW#I needed that because I had no one else to turn to#especially in my last year of high school (when I wrote MW) I was extremely#angry at god and extremely sad and afraid and confused#so we went through that together⊠sometimes now I forget how much he actually means to me#as a person and I know Iâm on the fictional people website and donât have to disclaim this but I know heâs not real#but Iâm proud of how far weâve both come & are going lol#so happy heâs getting a chance to understand he is loveable because#both of us in 2018 werenât sure about that#think Iâm reentering my Lonan hyperfixation era LOL after a 3 year hiatus <3
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Tagged by @spacewives-in-spacetime!!!! Thank you I love saying things thank you for the opportunity to do so <3
Three ships: River Song/Rose Tyler (and all other nounpolycule combos but I, Tumblr user riverrose, do not shut up about riverrose. Shocking, I know.), Rumbelle (listen. I would be a different person if Emilie de Ravin had not become a regular on OUAT), and let's go Percabeth since they were my intro to fandom being a thing that exists.
Last song: Began writing this to Love Like Woe by The Ready Set, ended it listening to Drag is Magic by Nina West. Currently listening to my "every upbeat song that was in my music library the day I created this playlist" playlist as I work on latework.
Last movie: Antman! Genuinely a solid 90%+ of the movies I watch are Thursday movie nights with Eliza lmao
Currently reading: Define "reading"? Books I would claim to be reading at the moment include Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse, Yiddishkeit: Jewish Vernacular & the New Land, The Talmud: A Biography by Harry Freedman, Le Petit Prince in the original French, and a collection of essays on spider evolution. In practice? I am skimming my reading for my history class and my evolution class just thoroughly enough to get by.
Currently watching: Once Upon A Time (my first time rewatching his early episodes since deciding I don't actually hate Hook so so so so so so so so so much and he is in fact a meow meow), Dexter, and the Doctor Who episode Mummy On The Orient Express - I mean I am watching Doctor Who and have not watched the same episode 4 times in the last like 3 weeks. Don't look at me. Also I am theoretically watching Lost but we'll see when I have the brain power to continue it.
Currently consuming: Trail mix! Specifically I'm picking out the wasabi peas which will inevitably lead to me being whiny about not having any wasabi peas in my trail mix later.
Currently craving: A six cheese bagel with garden veggie shmear like I'm craving every waking moment. Obviously. Also craving rewatching the 1996 Moll Flanders mini series staring Alex Kingston.
Uuuuuuh I believe this is supposed to be tag 9 people?: @zaricats, @ashdoesfandom, @regenderate, @godlovesdykes, @berylgrace, @tenteen, @quantumshade, @lesbiandonnanoble, and @lesbiantwelve
#to those who may not recognize this url my main is fab-wolf-in-the-gloom lmao#and if that doesn't ring a bell either I'm Eleventoo Enjoyer in the Doctor Achoo server despite not being super active lol#help My Alien by Simple Plan came on while I was tagging people#the way I didn't need to use this many fucking words <3 not shutting up in my passion <3#kasteraxilkemeryapheshexerindaikyat.pdf#<- help I got so confused trying to find that tag because I forgot I spent hours on a thoughtful Teegarden Gallifreyan name#instead of just sticking with ''completely fucking insufferable''#briefly considered saying Ganger!Eleven/River/Rose because it's one of the ship tags that I was the first (only still) person in#and also because Eleventoo is my baby boy. Guy who deserves more love.
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Maroonie the world to me right neow actually ouhhh.
#Iâm gonna infodump in the tags#basically maroonie is . a really confused character.#it is a total amnesiac but has the knowledge that who it is now isnât what it used to be?#and what it did manage to remember it internalized. consequently causing it to become a painfully reserved person who rly just exists but#doesnât do anything with that.#its grown accustomed to it all but still finds itself rly not . wanting to be the way it is.#it just doesnât know how to do that? and it doesnât help that it just has a difficult personality. (omggg like me <3)#/silly#but I promiiiseee . the whole thing is that eventually in due time it finds belonging and safety. and finally discovers who it wants to be.#idk its allegoric ab how I have no idea what I am or what I rly wanna do w my life but I have the hopes of it getting better and all I went#thru prior would just be . an afterthought. bc id finally be somewhere safe :)#so maroonie having smth I donât atm gives me a lot of optimism lol
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hey. Hey. person reading this right now. if you already feel bad about this, or are aware of this, and you for example have intrusive thoughts about dirt and stuff - don't feel so bad about this.
and i think the implication that 'everyone should feel after touching any public surface like they've touched dog poo'
and by extension that that should feel poison and by perhaps extension even perhaps Should make you feel dread, and perhaps even feel like a bad or shameful person for it?
i think, we should probably walk that back a little. i think it easily comes across as that, and could be triggering people's anxieties about this, in an unfair way.
absolutely - cleaning your hands good and keeping good hygiene is good, but the feeling bad about it part? you do not need to feel bad or anxious or dread about it during or about it.
you also do not have to Make yourself feel so bad about it.
and if you read this and realize maybe you haven't taken your hand hygiene seriously enough, you can always change and improve.
and that it will be okay. change, good change, can always start today. there are also many good handwashing tutorials that came into (re) creation after covid hit 2020.
also, for context - because I do not mean to be rude to op or previous commenter, i am specifically writing this as a person who has intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, but am recovering,
and I just feel like this post has great points and perspectives that I don't often see shared - that I want to reblog! and also wanted to talk about that perhaps moral ocd/dirt ocd triggery thing, and not let that pass without that commentary.
and that also as a person with intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, that YES oh my gosh THANK you,
it really is so scary sometimes and isolating how people do not even consider these things with hygiene, and I've also talked to people about it but they still don't see the point!
i know my fears and concerns about dirt are not Just irrational - and I feel like people often dismiss my knowledge about dirt and hygiene Because I have these diagnoses.
And i Guess it's easy to ignore my concerns and pleas if they can dismiss me because of them.
Washing my hands as I come home?? a given. also washing my hands before I touch my cat!
cats can also get covid (last I heard, that was mid early hit of the pandemic hitting though, science might have found more) and so like i do Not want to mess around - not for me Or for him!
also I've known so many people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.
tw for below: REALLY nasty hand hygiene
i had a parent (i disowned them) that used to sometimes skip out on washing his hands after he shat.
like I could hear him shitting and could also hear him flushing, not turning on the washbin, and immediately exiting the bathroom.
i tried to tell the rest of my family members and others but they just didn't believe me.
also if you touch your genitals (including dicks) or underwear in the bathroom, or touch the toilet, or the toilet roll that has been used, You should wash your hands! It's Not Cleannn
I Do Not get people who do not get that. at all.
in the vein of "how do you stay safe from getting sick", I wanna say that something I always noticed as a kid was that a lot of the time when I went to people's houses and we would leave at some point to the mall or the park or something and then come back homeâŠI don't remember any of them washing their hands when we got back inside. they'd just immediately lead me back to their room or the living room or something, and then I'd feel incredibly self-conscious about going to their bathroom to wash my own hands. and I always thought it was absolutely bizarre because the way I was raised, the first thing you do when you come back home after taking your shoes and jacket off is go wash your hands. it's common sense. why on planet earth would you not wash your hands. you've just been touching a hundred public surfaces that could have anything on them and you think as soon as you set foot in your own house all the germs you've picked up just evaporate? it's absolutely insane to me to know that so many people don't bother washing their hands. WASH YOUR HANDS.
#also why i can't stand people using used toilet paper rolls for art#like use the household papers and cut them in two if you need a small!!!!#also a house paper roll that hasn't been touched by like. unsafe things too. like raw chicken or something#also i said including dicks because I have met many men who think dicks are somehow exempt from this#like they say 'yea ofc u clean your hands when you pee cause you have a vagina - i dont because I have a dick'#and like HUH#like atl 5 people have said this with their full chests and then people around not dispute it or nod along like#HUHHHHHHHHH#cw unsanitary#i wrote such a long comment - I wanted to shorten it but don't know how#i also hope it's still not too rude to prev people. like I just feel like it's so nice to see people talk about this#but that I also don't feel comfortable sharing it W out my commentary about ocd/intrusive stuff because#i know i have followers who also have my problems and some might have followed me because I've talked about#my issues too. and i am on a good path to recovery and stuff so this didn't trigger me - but I know in the past that it could have#like it's not that i don't take care of my hand hygiene - but that I would have felt like i should feel worse about it#and feel worse and scared about touching things outside. and like. that's really not a healthy way to think#like yes take care - but no you do not need to feel worse or bad.#it's okay.#as I tried to format my comment so that it's not so hard to read - esp cause it's so long.#hope that helps a bit#idk what to tag also#krockat krockar on others posts#I don't remember my tag that I used because replies doesn't feel right lol because that's another function#but i think maybe I used that tag for commenting on others posts before#oh maybe instead I should do#krockat krockar in comments#idk! confusing!
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addicted to you | spencer reid x reader
Spencer isnât inclined to be affectionate with you. Heâs a socially awkward germaphobe, and youâre perfectly fine with it. However, being three months into your relationship, you canât help but want more. Once Spencer gets a taste, he wants more too. A lot more.
part 1 | part 2 - insatiable
wc: 6.1k, rating: explicit/18+
tags/warnings: established relationship, first times, virgin!spencer, early seasons spencer, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering praise kink, morning wood, morning sex, sex in unconventional places (like, not in public but not the bed lol), cunnilingus, creampie, implied multiple orgasms
a/n: no excuse for this insane fic but i was strangely inspired by a post i saw on twitter that i wanted to put a lighthearted (and horny) spin on. i definitely felt crazy writing this and i feel crazy posting this now so i sure hope you enjoy this insanity! (p.s you can also find this fic on ao3!)
You donât mind that Spencer isnât touchy. You understand, with Spencer being a germaphobe and a little socially awkward, that he isnât inclined to kisses on the cheek or holding your hand. Youâve only been dating for three months, and heâs already getting better at doing these things, which makes your heart sing.Â
Spencer is sweet, willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. He used to shy away from your touch, but heâs gotten more comfortable with you. He lets you hold his hand when youâre out on a date, or heâll kiss you chastely out in public. He lets you drape yourself over him when youâre sitting on the couch together watching a show, his arm around your waist to pull you in close.Â
While you can understand Spencerâs hesitance towards public displays of affection, due to his awkwardness and anxieties about germs, youâre surprised he hasnât initiated anything more in the privacy of his apartment (or yours). Youâre starting to itch for it, something more, your attraction to Spencer Reid simply too overwhelming for it to simply be sweet and innocent anymore. Your body craves him desperately, because heâs so lovely and so fucking handsome. Youâve caught yourself staring at his hands more than once.
Tonight, you decide youâll get what you want. Youâre going to fuck Spencer Reid.
With your head buried in his shoulder during movie night, your hand runs down his body, getting dangerously close to his crotch â he jumps up off the couch, almost comedic, and stares at you like your touch had burned him. He looks positively freaked out.Â
âSpencer,â you say, very confused that heâs not into this. What kind of man doesnât like his girlfriend initiating sex? Hell, what kind of man doesnât like sex?Â
âI justââ Spencer pauses, like heâs struggling to find the words. âI canât. Not right now, Iââ
âHey, itâs okay.â You assure him. âWe donât have to. Ever, if thatâs what you want.â
His eyes widen again. âNo! I want to, justâ Itâs difficult, right now.â
You cock your head slightly. âDo you want to talk about it?â
Spencer frowns slightly, seeming to know that talking about it is the most rational thing to do, but itâs not like that makes him want to do it. âWell, Iâ Iâve never done it before.â
Your mouth falls open, just a little, and you look up at him. While you donât mean to judge, it certainly isnât surprising. Spencer was fourteen when he was starting university, and his general awkward demeanour and extreme nerdiness would likely rule out any sexual encounters for him during his time in college. Spencerâs line of work would clearly make it difficult for him to maintain a relationship â you definitely lucked out with getting to date him â and heâs too much of a softie for one night stands. So, Spencer Reid being a virgin at twenty-seven definitely checks out.
âThatâs okay,â you say softly. âItâs totally normal.â
Spencerâs lips press into a thin line. âWell, you know it took me a while to get used to being affectionate with you, so I thinkââ
âBeing intimate with someone else is going to be a hurdle youâll need time to cross, too?âÂ
Spencer looks up at you, eyes wet, looking at you like youâve read him like an open book. He whispers, âYeah.â
âThatâs okay,â you repeat, even though youâre trying to come to terms with the fact that youâre not going to fuck Spencer Reid tonight. âIâllâ Weâll take it slow, if you want to try.â
âYes, please.â He has a small smile on his lips as he looks up at you. âIâ We could try doing something tonight, too. I justâ I wasnât expecting it earlier. Iâm sorry for pushing you off like that.â
You shake your head, reassuring him that you arenât offended by it by any means. Then, you ask, âYouâre sure you want to try? Tonight?â
Spencer nods, as he reaches for your hand. He holds it gently, resting it on his thigh. âYeah. I havenâtâ Itâs been a long time since Iâve been with someone, but I want to, with you.â
You lean in to kiss his cheek gently. âIâm glad you trust me.â
His eyes are soft and syrupy when he meets your gaze. âOf course I trust you.â
You squeeze Spencerâs thigh before pressing your lips to his, the familiarity of kissing Spencer making you both ease up a little more. Your kiss is gentle, sweet, just like every other kiss you've shared, but you let your hand slide up his thigh as you kiss him, and you can feel Spencer tensing up under your touch. You squeeze his thigh to reassure him, and you feel Spencer wriggle underneath where you're leaning your body weight on him to loosen up.Â
Your hand skirts over his crotch, a hardness under your palm that makes you feel somewhat proud of yourself. Spencerâs breathing is heavy as he keeps kissing you, and keeps letting you touch him. You think heâs so cute. You just want to make him feel good.Â
You push the waistband of his sweats down, tugging him out of his pants. His cock is the same shade of red as his cheeks, his shyness turning you on extremely.Â
He doesnât look down at himself, where youâre holding him â instead, his eyes are intently focused on your face. You donât push him about it, instead leaning forward to kiss him as you start to stroke his cock.Â
This time, it feels desperate. Spencer kisses you with more fervour, like a fireâs been lit within him, the pleasure running through his veins almost like liquid courage as he kisses you deeply. Youâre more than happy to be doing this, letting Spencer lick into your mouth while you jerk him off. You appreciate the weight of him in your hand, imagining him inside of you â but perhaps youâre getting ahead of yourself.Â
âYou can touch me, Spence,â you say, in between Spencer kissing you fervently. His hands have been cupping your face, but otherwise he seems awkward with them. You pull back slightly, and while itâs adorable that heâs still holding your face sweetly, you drag his hands down to your chest, in the oversized t-shirt youâd stolen from Spencerâs drawer. âLike this.â
Spencerâs large hands cup your breasts through the shirt perfectly. He squeezes tentatively. You bite your lip as his palms brush over your nipples, as he manhandles you just a little. Itâs more force than youâre used to from Spencer, kneading and squeezing and feeling you, and that makes your head spin.Â
Daringly, Spencerâs hands slip under your shirt, as he leans back in to kiss you. You feel his calloused hands on your skin as he feels you up, making you shudder. His touch isnât demanding nor pushy, simply exploratory as he feels your soft skin under his fingertips.Â
Your arousal is pumping through your system, Spencerâs gentle submissiveness like a drug you canât kick. The more you touch him, the more he reacts; touching you more, whimpering and gasping against your lips, into your neck.
âCome on, baby,â you coo in his ear, your hand speeding up on Spencerâs hardness. Heâs leaking pathetically, wet in your palm, and he squirms underneath you.Â
âIâmâ Itâs tooââ Spencer cuts himself off with a helpless whine, like he canât control himself. His hands grip your waist tight. âPleaseââ
âMm,â you hum sympathetically, while you thoroughly enjoy seeing Spencer like this. âWanna cum like this, baby?â
Spencerâs breathing hard. He canât get the words out, but he shakes his head. You slow your strokes, to an excruciating pressure on his length. âNo? Then tell me, Spence.â
âInside you,â He gasps, eyes squeezed shut.Â
You absolutely should not let Spencer fuck you for the first time on his couch, but heâs desperate and your resolve is steadily crumbling. âYouâ Youâre sure?â
âPlease,â Spencer gasps, his eyes pleading with you helplessly.
So, you pull your hand back and push your shorts off instead. Your panties come off in one fell swoop, and you sit back onto the couch with your legs spread. Spencerâs eyes are wide and his lips are parted as he looks at you, takes the sight of you in.Â
Then heâs like a baby deer, standing up and fumbling to get his sweatpants off. You canât help but giggle at his awkward movements, in his excitement and eagerness to get to touch you, to get to fuck you. Heâs quick to get between your legs, his hardness nudging at your entrance already.Â
âMm, not yet, Spence,â you hum. You reach for his hand, taking his wrist as you guide his fingers to your clit. âYou know what to do, right?â
He turns his wrist so his fingers â God, his fingers â are poised almost elegantly above your clit. He presses down and starts to circle his fingers against you. You gasp.
âThought you didnâtâ ohâ Didnât have much experience,â you gasp. You hold onto Spencerâs forearm tight, throwing your head back as Spencer pleasures you.
Spencer huffs out a laugh. âI might not be experienced, but Iâm not a prudeâ I remember the⊠stuff Iâve seen. Eidetic memory and all.â
âStuff,â you laugh. âIâm sure the porn youâve watched mustâve helped, darling.â
He slips his fingers into your wetness with an unsurprising ease, considering how turned on you are by him. He hits spots inside you youâve never thought were possible to reach, but they make electricity zip up your spine. You moan as he crooks his fingers into you, rocking them in and out with a wet squelch.
Spencer grins at you. âYou were saying?â
âYouâre a cocky bastard, you know that?â you huff, your tone teetering between awfully turned on and mildly annoyed.Â
âYou like it,â Spencer says, assured of himself, and you smile, because you really do.
âMy love,â you moan, as Spencer presses his fingers into you, back out. âYou should try fucking me now.â
Spencerâs fingers are still inside of you, and his eyes are wide as he looks up at you. âYou think so?â
You smile at him. âIf you think youâre up for it.â
You mourn the loss of Spencerâs fingers, but as heâs mumbling to himself and lining his cock up with your entrance, you can only coo at how adorable you find all of this. And how turned on you are, but thatâs more than obvious to the both of you by now.Â
He looks to you, like heâs looking for reassurance. You nod. Even in the silence, heâs gotten the confidence to push his cock into you, the thickness of his tip breaching your hole. You gasp as you stretch around him, your cunt making space for him as he slides in, excruciatingly slow. âSpencerââ
Spencer lets out a whine as your tight heat engulfs him, his length swallowed up by you as he sinks deeper into you. âOh, my Godââ
âJust like that, baby,â you moan, your leg hooking around Spencerâs leg to coax him forward, closer to you. âFuck.â
âDo Iâ When should Iââ Spencer gasps, unable to form a coherent sentence with the pleasure swimming through his bloodstream.Â
âYou can start moving when you donât feel like youâre going to blow your load if you breathe the wrong way,â you joke, but Spencer does seriously look like heâs going to finish any second. âHey. Deep breaths, baby.â
Spencerâs brows are furrowed and his eyes are squeezed shut as he breathes in hard, in through his nose and out through his mouth. Heâd told you to do that when heâd helped you through a panic attack one time, and while you feel bad that he feels so nervous about all this, itâs extremely amusing to you right now.Â
âLook at me,â you say, trying your best not to laugh. âYouâre doing great, love.â
Spencer pulls his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes looking to you for validation.Â
âSo good for me, darling,â you coo, your hand on his hip, while your thumb draws little circles into his skin. âAre you feeling okay?â
âYeah,â Spencer shudders, voice high-pitched and a little breathy. âIâ You feel really good.â
âYeah? Itâll feel even better when you start moving, sweetheart,â you hum. âYou think you can do that for me? Slow, out then back in.â
Spencer whimpers, nodding, and he takes another deep breath in. His hands on your waist, he pulls out halfway before pressing back into you, and he moans so loudly your ears ring. âSoâ So tight, youââ
âThatâs good, yeah? Feels good?â you coo. âCome on, baby. More.â
Spencer rests one of his arms on the back of the couch, holding himself steady and getting him that much closer to you. He starts to thrust in and out, starting off slow as he finds a rhythm.Â
His thrusts are erratic, but youâre so wildly turned on and it still feels amazing, because itâs Spencer.Â
Spencer is frantic, desperate, bracing himself against the couch as he fucks into you. Maybe pounding into you is a better phrase to use, because heâs fucking you like a madman, till the couch is squeaking under both your weight. You cry out, feeling Spencer drilling into you â and it feels so good.
âOh, God,â Spencer whines. âYouâ Itâs so good, ohââ
âYeah, baby?â You rock your hips along with him, burying Spencer deeper into you. You clench so each thrust is a little tighter, and each time Spencer fucks into you, he moans a little louder.Â
Amidst Spencerâs whines and pretty noises, you watch his face morph with pleasure, feeling assured that heâs enjoying this as much as you are. In fact, heâs probably enjoying this more. As youâre lost in your train of thought, admiring Spencerâs gorgeous face, youâre startled when you feel Spencerâs load inside of you, hot and slick. His hips flush against your ass, Spencer shudders as he rides out his orgasm, body trembling from the force of his pleasure.
âOh, Spence,â you giggle, a little dizzy from how turned on you are, from watching Spencer lose himself just like that. You reach up to cup his face, your thumb gentle on his cheek. âWas that good?â
âOh,â Spencer mumbles, seemingly brought back to reality. He pulls back, taking the sight of you in. âIâmâ Iâm good, Iâm sorryââ
âDonât be,â you say. âYouâre so cute. Itâs so hot.â
âI mean, you are too, butâ But you havenâtââ
âYou wanna make it up to me, then?â You smile, gentle and warm and Spencer nods like heâs eager to please you.Â
You kiss him while he pulls out, replacing the thickness of his cock with two fingers, which fit into you easily. Like before, Spencer presses his fingers into you, slick and wet and squelchy. Spencer curls them and fingerfucks you like a pro, like heâs done this a hundred times. With his face pressed into your shoulder and your arms slung around his neck, Spencer fucks you on his fingers until your toes are curling and youâre screaming his name. You cry out as you orgasm, shaking as Spencer fucks you through it.Â
Youâre almost embarrassed when you finally come back to your senses, no longer reeling from the intensity of your orgasm. Spencer is kissing your jawline sweetly, his clean hand stroking your hair.
âHey,â Spencer says softly, somehow knowing you needed to hear him. He parrots you from earlier, âWasâ Was that good?â
âSo good, my love,â you murmur into his shoulder. Then, after a quiet moment, âI thought you needed some time to get comfortable with being intimate.âÂ
Spencer pauses for a moment, like heâs pondering it, before he says, âI know. But for you, I think Iâd do anything.â
Thatâs all Spencer manages to get out before you kiss him again. Itâs tender and sweet, the intensity behind your kiss no longer lustful but full of adoration and love. You feel like you could sob right now, but you manage to hold it back.
Spencer gets into the shower with you, which youâre surprised by, but his hands are soft on your body as he cleans you up. You shampoo his hair for him, even though he has to lean forward a little so you can reach.Â
You end up falling asleep in Spencerâs bed, curled up in his arms.Â
You donât dream at night, but when you wake up with a hardness poking against your thigh and Spencerâs gentle snoring in your ear, you think you might be.Â
In your dreariness, you reach behind you, the angular sharpness of Spencerâs hip bone under your palm. Heâs warm, cuddled up against you, and the tickling of his breath on your neck tells you that this isnât a dream.Â
âSpence,â you whisper, shaking him slightly. You watch as he blinks himself awake, drowsy as he comes to focus on your face. âHey.â
âGood morning,â Spencer says, his voice rough with disuse. âWhatâs up?â
âYou are,â you smile, a little too pleased, as your hand snakes down toward his crotch.Â
He squeaks at the contact, your soft hand on his hardness, âUm, sorry about that.â
âDonât be,â you laugh. âHad a good dream?â
He pulls his lower lip between his teeth. âAbout you, yeah.â
âWanna tell me about it?â you goad, wiggling your eyebrows.Â
Spencerâs cheeks somehow get even redder than they already were, but he shakes his head. âI wantâ I want to have sex, though.â
Your eyes widen. âNow?â
âDo you have the time for it?â He asks, sheepish. âIâ I want to fuck you again.â
Your cheeks flush at Spencerâs sudden crudeness. You think about what Spencer couldâve possibly dreamt up, wonder how Spencer could possibly be confident enough to tell you straight up that he wants to fuck you. That phrase probably hadnât been in Spencerâs lexicon until about twelve hours ago â while Spencer was smart â a literal genius â his innocence was completely understandable.Â
âWe have time,â you exhale, looking back into his eyes after looking at the clock. âI only have to be at the office in a couple of hours.â
âGood,â Spencer says, leaning in to kiss down your neck. His hands are frisky already, slipping underneath your shirt. Spencer splays his hands over your stomach, before reaching up to cup your breasts in his hands.Â
âYou like touching me like this, donât you, baby?â you chuckle breathlessly, already feeling weak in the knees from the way Spencer holds you. âMm, Iâm surprised.â
âWhy is that?â His words are slightly muffled against your skin, too busy kissing you to make himself sound coherent. His hands are rough against the softness of your skin, and you moan from the way heâs handling you.
âYesterday you couldnât even tell me you wanted to fuck,â you croon, thoroughly pleased. âAnd now youâre touching me like you know what youâre doing. Itâs so hot.â
âIâ I just canât get enough of you,â Spencer admits, his earnest words turning you on extremely.
âNow youâre just horny,â you laugh, feeling Spencerâs hand slide over your underwear.
âMm, youâre so wet right now too,â Spencer murmurs in your ear, his warm breath and raspy voice sending a shiver down your spine. Whereâd he learn to talk like that? You squeeze your thighs together, but that doesnât stop Spencer from feeling the wetness between your legs, soaking through your panties.Â
âAll for you, baby,â you gasp, as Spencerâs fingers slip past the band of your underwear, deftly stroking your clit. âSpencerââ
âCan I fuck you? Please?â He pleads, breathy, his hips already rutting forward against your ass.Â
His eagerness makes your head spin, his sudden confidence in the realm of sex surprising â maybe itâs cockiness, but you still find that stupidly attractive â but it is certainly welcomed.Â
âYes, Spence, please,â you shudder, the word yes leaving your lips enough for Spencer to pull your underwear down, over the swell of your ass. He fumbles with his own boxers for a moment, but soon you feel his hard, leaking tip pressed to your butt. He rocks his hips back and forth, desperately seeking whatever friction he can get.Â
Lost in his own pleasure, Spencer is quick to slide his cock between your legs, the wetness from your cunt making it easy for him to rut into the tight, slick space. Like this, his length rubs up against you, the head of his cock nudging at your clit with every thrust of his hips. It feels primal, Spencer so far gone that he isnât even fucking you proper, content with the slick, tight space between your thighs and your pussy. You wonder if you need to tell him, but Spencerâs groan in your ear is shaky as his tip catches on your hole.
His arms wrapped around you, both of you moan as Spencer finally sinks his cock into you. He slides in too easily, so easily you almost think heâd hadnât meant to do it. Maybe he hadnât, but youâd gotten there in the end, where you both need to be; Spencer buried inside of you.
Itâs so different from yesterday, the angle when he presses into you from behind so exhilarating, so good. Heâs just as desperate as last night, but thereâs a sort of reckless confidence in his movements. His hands slide under your shirt to grab at your tits again, rocking his hips while he practically gropes you. Itâs so hot your head spins. You feel like youâre going to explode.
âSpencer!â You cry out, your voice ripping its way out of your throat. Pleasure surges through you like electricity, Spencerâs thick cock hitting all the right spots from this angle. His eager desperation turns you on to no end, as you let him take you from behind. While you werenât expecting lazy, morning sex at all, the intensity and desperation he fucks you with right now makes you think you could get used to this.
Spencerâs whine has your head spinning. His hips donât slow, more rhythmic than yesterday but still as needy. âFuck, you feel so good.â
âYeah?â You coo breathlessly. Youâre so fucking turned on, and every time Spencer drives his hips into you you can hear how wet you really are. âYouâre doing so good for me, Spence, fucking me so good.â
âYou like it? Is it good?â Spencer gasps, always so eager to please you.
âSo good,â you moan. Youâre still sore from last night, but the pleasure Spencer is giving you right now overrides all of that. You would love for him to wake you up like this every day. âIâm close, baby.â
âOh,â Spencer says, like heâs surprised youâre already getting off on this, on himâ âWhat do you need me to do?â
âJust keep going, Spence,â you gasp. âKeep fucking me just like this.â
Spencerâs hum is breathy, high-pitched. Somehow, his grip on you gets tighter, holding you like heâs afraid youâll disappear. The force he fucks you with is so wildly arousing. Youâre so enamoured, and so turned on.
Your orgasm creeps up on you, slow and steady as it bubbles up inside of you. You squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the dirty, rough way Spencer fucks you, and then you feel his soft lips on your neck again. He isnât properly kissing you â more like slobbering all over your neck, but you cry out as he does so, thighs pressing together as you reach your orgasm. Youâre shaking through it, clenching around Spencer as you come, and Spencerâs gasping as your tight pussy pushes Spencer over the edge too. You feel his come inside of you, cock twitching as his load spurts hot and heavy into your cunt. You sob, feeling Spencer slow his thrusts as he rides out his orgasm.
âHoly shit,â you say, your voice coming out ragged and hoarse. You feel like a different woman, being fucked ruthlessly by your boyfriend in his bed for the first time. You canât get enough.Â
âI love you,â Spencer says quietly, earnest. It makes you shudder.Â
âYouâre crazy,â you laugh, taken aback at how Spencerâs returned to his gentle, soft self. âI love you too, you madman.â
âI canât resist you,â he murmurs in your ear, the vibrations of his raspy morning voice almost soothing.
You turn around to face him, Spencer still holding you in his arms. He smiles warmly at you, and you lean in to kiss him. âYouâre so cute.â
âWanna go again?â he asks, somewhat timid.Â
Your eyes widen. You try to hide your grin, but it doesnât work. âSomeoneâs desperate, huh?â
Spencer flushes a gorgeous red. âMaybe a little?â
âI have to get ready for work,â you sigh, actually a little bummed that you can't spend all day fucking Spencer. âMaybe tonight?â
âOkay,â Spencer smiles. âWant me to drive you back to yours?â
You grin. âYouâre the best!â
Work is relatively uneventful, numbers and Excel spreadsheets; and all you can think about is Spencerâs rapid change in demeanour over the last twelve hours, his innocence torn away by you, leaving behind a horny, insatiable man. Youâre kind of proud of yourself for that.Â
So, you canât blame yourself for being excited to get back to Spencerâs. Lately, youâve been staying over more, your apartment simply a place to house your wardrobe. Maybe youâll talk to Spencer about living together.
âHey, Spence,â you say, pleased when Spencer kisses you as he greets you at the door.Â
Even with all the probable germs on you from being out all day, Spencerâs surprisingly clingy, hands on your waist as he stumbles in behind you, as you set the takeout youâd brought over on his dining table. Spencer leans in behind you, kissing your cheek then down your neck.
âHey, whatâs with you, baby?â you chuckle, very much enjoying the way Spencerâs hands slide down your waist to your hips, grabbing the meat of your thighs through your dress pants.
âMissed you,â Spencer answers simply, but even you can tell thereâs something in his voice that implies heâs looking for something more.Â
âIâm sorry I had to leave you alone the whole day, my love. Iâm sure you mustâve found something to busy yourself with, though?â You hum, teasing. You have a good idea of where this is going.
Spencerâs quiet for a moment, so you turn to look at him. His lips are pressed into a thin line, looking almost nervous, and his cheeks are flushed red. Spencer finally presses his body close to yours, and you feel itâ
âSpence,â you grin, âSomeoneâs happy to see me.â
âThought about itâ Thought about you all day,â Spencer mumbles. âYou promised.â
âWhat did I promise, baby?â you egg him on, eager to hear him say it, even though you definitely know what heâs going to ask.Â
âThat we would do it again tonight,â he answers, but you shoot him a look. âYou said we would have sex again tonight.â
âTwice in one day? I donât know, baby,â you pretend to sound disinterested.
Spencer looks at you with wide eyes. Respectful as ever, he clears his throat. âPlease? If youâre tired we donât have to, but I really want to. Only if you want to, though. This involves both of us, I donât want to imposeââ
You giggle, reaching to hold his hands. âGod, youâre perfect.â
âWhatâ?â Spencer barely gets the word out before youâre kissing him. Heâs happy to do so, holding your face gently, matching your energy perfectly. You feel his cock pressing against you.Â
âI turned you into a sex fiend,â you laugh, between kissing him, âAnd youâre still thinking about making sure Iâm into it too.â
âOf course, why wouldnât I be?â Spencerâs brows furrow slightly, like he canât comprehend how he could be into it if you werenât too. âAnd I- Iâm not a sex fiend, I justââ
Smiling, you whisper sultrily, âI think you should take me right here, baby.â
âOhââ You cut Spencer off with another kiss, and he squeaks as you reach for his half-hard cock through his sweatpants. Youâre positively delighted that Spencerâs like this, for you.
Spencer kisses you deeply, leaning forward until the small of your back hits the edge of the table. His hands coming up to your ass, he lifts you up, getting you to lay back on the table. You gasp, as Spencer kisses down the column of your neck, his hands making quick work of the buttons of your dress shirt. His lips are soft against your skin, at the swell of your breasts. Your shirt gets pushed off your shoulders. You feel him unhook your bra with a surprising ease, tossed aside, and then his hands are grabbing your tits like they were made for him. His thumbs brush over your nipples, a little forceful as he kneads at you, and your head is spinning.Â
âSpencer,â you moan, as he kisses down your stomach, unbuttoning your pants to reveal your soaked-through underwear. He smiles up at you, his messy mop of hair a lovely sight.Â
âCan IâŠ?â Spencerâs big brown eyes dart down to where youâre soaked, then back up at you.
Your eyes widen. âYes. If you want to.â
Spencer grins. âOf course I want to.â
His fingers are gentle on your hips as he pulls your panties off, wasting no time in spreading your legs so he can get between them. Your eyes are wide as you watch him, feeling kind of self-conscious over how eager he is to be doing this. Knelt between your thighs, he lifts one of your legs and swings them over his shoulder. You can feel his stubble on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his nose nudging against your clit. His tongue comes up, wet and hot, as he tastes you for the first time. âSpencerââ
He presses his face impossibly closer, more urgent in eating you out. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, his jaw flexing as his tongue works on you, and youâre trembling already. Spencerâs extremely good with his mouth, and youâre surprised at how good heâs making you feel, considering he likely hasnât done this before. The sounds of his mouth are wet and squelchy and so obscene, and you would feel almost embarrassed, were it not for how into this Spencer seems to be too,Â
With your hands in his hair, you cry out when Spencerâs tongue circles your swollen clit, jolts of pleasure sent through your body. You canât think straight when Spencerâs face is buried between your legs, eating you out like he was made for this. All you can think about is how gifted Spencer is with his tongue, and how you wish you could do this all night.Â
âPlease, love,â you moan, âNeed you to fuck me.â
Spencer hums in approval, the vibrations between your legs making you jump. He makes a little wet slurping noise before he comes back up, and you feel your cunt throb when he looks up at you with his lovely, wide brown eyes, and his chin wet and messy with your slick. Spencer wipes his face with the back of his hand, and youâre so turned on you might just explode.
âI love you,â you tell him earnestly. âI think this is the craziest thing Iâve ever done. I love you.â
âWhat is? Having sex on my dinner table?â Spencer quips, as he sets your legs down and stands back up. He has a cocky grin plastered on his face.Â
You roll your eyes playfully. âFirst time for everything, right?â
Spencer nods, smiling, before he leans forward to kiss you sweetly. You watch as he pulls his sweatpants down, his cock bobbing up, red and angry and rock hard. You feel yourself salivating at the sight, but decide that he needs to fuck you right now.
âSpencer,â you mewl, feeling breathless as you watch him wrap a hand around himself, stroking his length. Concentration is written all over his face and it makes you want to kiss him.Â
âIâve been wanting to do this all day,â Spencer says, pressing his cock forward until heâs lined up with your entrance. Itâs so tantalising, the way the blunt head of his cock threatens to slip into you. Youâre so wet and so loose for him, and you need him inside of you now.
You gasp when he finally pushes in, his thick cock splitting you in half as he slides into you. The pressure is so perfect, the slow draw of his hips as he takes care not to rush, wanting to take care of you. Even with all this still being new for Spencer, he still focuses on you, puts you first. Youâre not sure if youâre swooning over him, or the way his cock fits inside you perfectly.
You donât need to encourage him to start moving. He rocks his hips slowly, somehow already familiar with your body, and makes you feel like you could explode with pleasure.Â
He leans forward, pressing his body to yours as he kisses you. Like this, Spencer presses into you deeper, fucks you slow and deep and loving. The edge of the table is absolutely digging into your back, but you donât care when every sense of yours is filled with Spencer, getting to taste and touch and hear him. You taste yourself on his tongue, hear the sloppy way he thrusts into you, your skin burning wherever heâs pressed up against you.Â
Burying his face in your neck, Spencer pants in your ear, hot and heavy as he fucks you, giving you everything you need. Your head is swimming with arousal, as Spencer presses you against the table and fucks you like his life depends on it. âYou feel so good, fuck, so goodââ
âIâm so close, baby,â you cry out, the pace absolutely ruthless as Spencer fucks you. You didnât think his stamina would be this good, considering your boyfriendâs lanky stature and abhorrence towards exercise. You certainly wouldnât mind doing this kind of cardio with him more often. âPlease, Spenceââ
âLet go, Iâ Iâm here for you,â Spencer stumbles over his words, but heâs so sweet that youâre losing yourself, your orgasm crashing into you like a tidal wave. You scream as you reach your peak, your toes curling while Spencer fucks you through it, shaking as pleasure and arousal zips through your body. Spencerâs hips stutter as the tightness of your pussy has him reeling, too close too quickly.Â
While his hips keep a steady pace, youâre feeling loopy as Spencer continues to fuck you. You hold his head close to you, kissing his forehead as you murmur, âYouâre so hot, Spence. Made me come so quickly, and you held out for me? So good for me, baby. Are you close?â
Spencer whines, a pitiful noise in the back of his throat. âPlease, Iâm so close, need youââ
âIâm right here, baby,â you coo, stroking his sweat-matted hair sweetly. Youâre so enamoured with him. âGonna cum inside me, Spence? Fill me up with yourââ
You donât even get to finish your dirty talk before Spencer is moaning, coming inside of you. It feels like heâs released so much inside of you, hot and messy as he fucks you through his own high. His chest heaves as he pants, trembling as he reels from the intensity of his orgasm. Spencerâs hips slow to a stop, and he mouths at your neck mindlessly until he seems to get his bearings back. You imagine you must look a mess, sweat and spit all over you, your makeup from a long day of work likely running by now.Â
Spencer gets up off of you, so both of you have space to catch your breaths. You feel Spencer slip out of you with a slick âpopâ, and feel his release trickle out of you just moments after. You stifle a quiet moan, but when you look up at Spencer, his eyes couldnât possibly leave the sight between your legs. His lips are parted slightly, pupils blown wide, as he watches you drip with his release. You feel Spencerâs cock, resting against your inner thigh, twitch slightly.Â
âWoah there, cowboy,â you chuckle, out of breath. âGive me a minute to recover.â
His eyes practically twinkle when they dart up to look at you. Heâs like an excited puppy as he asks, âAgain?â
You shake your head, laughing, and sit up to kiss Spencer again. âMaybe we could try something new?â
Spencer grins, nodding eagerly. It definitely seems like heâs down for whatever, as long as itâs with you.Â
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