#help im drooling

[fjordfolk]

every time someone in a discussion about breeding for BOAS reduction in pugs says to 'look up this program called Retromops' i slip a little arsenic into the produce section at the grocery store

[bulletpillarsinorion]

JOOST KLEIN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE…..

[punklemon]

[bettycrocker-foods]

Heh. . .it's been a while. . .anyway

[euri-matsuri]

this fucker broke my pc

anyways in all seriousness my computer's out for the count (sob), pretty sure its going to be a few days before i can do anything again. think it's my psu or cpu (pretty sure its psu, just hoping we can find one in stores and not have to order it................)

but luckily I got these screenshots of him & the bonus of him next to Euri and Quincy ★ for height ref!!

i'm a goofy american so i like to hc he's taller than the game has him at. but also I've been surrounded by 6'0 men my whole life, so his canon height doesn't feel so bizarre to me. i like imagining he's more like 6'5+. Euri ? I have no idea. I wrote something on his bio but I don't know how true it is... same for kuya. I just wanted to stick them at heights that looked visually pleasing :D

[lovelyrotter]

can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck

[astraxxei]

I'm happy to see you're back pookie :)

Speaking of Leon from RE, I want him to put me in a chokehold with those big arms of his. I guess that's my request? Sorry for being immediately horny.

CHOKEHOLD ᶠᵗ : ˡᵉᵒⁿ ᵏᵉⁿⁿᵉᵈʸ.

Warnings: Suggestive. Young minors DNI.

Male reader | reader uses he/him pronouns | Fem aligned DNI | Fujoshi DNI | reader is addressed as "you" and "y/n" | chokehold | size difference | slight degradation .

You and Leon are on a mission together for the first time, a mission to neutralize an abandoned building from the infected and retrieve a lost item from there. However, the whole situation with you two just walking around to search the first floor of the building and Leon being, without a doubt, extremely annoyed from having the most annoying brat, in his opinion, to ever work at the R.P.D. as his partner for the mission, is extremely entertaining for you. You wanted to see just how mad he could get, because you found it so attractive. The way his large, strong frame towered over your small and vulnerable figure ignited something inside you that you never even knew existed. You couldn't help but imagine him growling in your ear...

Leon scoffs and grunts in annoyance at your lively and mischievous attitude.

"We are on a very serious mission. Quit acting like an infant."

However, you just giggle and continue behaving exactly like he hated. You play around with his nerves. You pretend to purposefully kick a bunch of metal pipes to make noise that will attract the zombies. Leon exhales in desperation. He doesn't know what to do with you.

Minutes later, you both arrive at the center of the building. On a dusty desk, you find the old, shiny antique - ish item you're supposed to retrieve and return to the R. P. D. Leon reaches out his hand to take it, but with a grin, you snatch it and quickly climb up to damaged window up high, staring at him with this smile of yours.

"Hey! Y/n, what the hell do you think you're doing! We're on this mission together!"

However, his words have no impact on you whatsoever. You're extremely curious on how he's going to react.

"Aww, but what if I tell everyone that I found it first and that I'm more worthy of recognition. What are you going to do? Huh, Leon?"

You immediately knew you went too far when you felt his hand grab your leg and pull you off, and when as soon as you got up, you saw him slide behind you with a swift movement and wrap his strong, muscular arm around your neck.

He leans near your ear. You keep a tight hold on the item, holding onto it for dear life. You hear his heavy breathing and his voice roughening, as his huge arm feels so tight around your small neck you almost feel like you're going to pass out. His tall figure holds you up in place firmly, your feet not touching the ground anymore. You sway your legs slightly and let out a little whimper. Even though you can barely breathe, you can't say that you didn't want this to happen. He smiles and whispers near your ear.

"You though that I'd let you annoy me since we got in the car. Who do you think I am?"

You let out an audible breath, looking in his direction. His grip is tight, but not too tight, just enough to keep you conscious.

"Now apologize, y/n, and don't make this any harder for you dear. This would have never happened if you didn't make me mad...But oh, you look like, you wanted this after all... Didn't you, y/n? What a filthy boy you are."

Your head is spinning, and your heart is beating rapidly. Your fingers release the item and it falls to the ground. You nod your head eagerly, letting out little whimpers and short breaths.

"I- I'm s- sorry...I- I won't..do it again- nghh..."

Hearing your exclamation, he lets go of your neck and puts you to the ground. He towers over you and grins, ruffling your hair softly as he sees your pretty face flushed red and hearing your erratic breaths.

"Good. Now be a good boy and behave. I promise I will reward you if you're good and actually useful. If not, I will punish you. Got it?"

Looking into his eyes with heart shaped ones, you nod your head. You never imagined that he would make you so flustered. Let alone, that you would end up being this worked up because of him.

~ ♡ ~

a/n: I AM DISRESPECTFULLY FOAMING IN THE MOUTH.

[thebloodthatmovesthebody]

slobbering everywhere

creds: .rockstargroupie

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

The long ass legs of Mr. Vincent Price.

[tortl3]

the good omens rabbithole is so crazy. like, "wow, some gay angels and demons! thats cool!" and suddenly you're obsessed with queen and 70s music and also low-key into researching christian mythology, then you decide to research about the actors and realize michael sheen reads good omens fanfiction?? wait- he was in twilight??? what the FUCK is masters of sex?? and then you research more about his roles and suddenly you're watching bright young things and wilde for the 5 minutes of michael sheen screentime in it because miles maitland is a fucking legend- WAIT DAVID IS ALSO IN BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS??? and suddenly you're back on doctor who and what the hell is takin over the asylum? no idea but its awesome holy shit!! and now you're kind of obsessed with shakespeare??? and now you're watching all three seasons of staged with the amazon britbox free trial?? and now you have 5 new sub-hyperfixations that all branch from good omens and now you are confused.

[valentinesparda]

you do something wicked to me; yeah I like that

[ insert with the blue hair uses they/them pronouns ]

[valsnonsense]

King Trollex of the Techno Trolls. Sauve, laid-back, yet strong. Brought up by a loving yet stern King and Queen to be the next great leader of their kingdom.

When he takes the throne, his now retired parents insist on him finding a partner, someone to rear up the next heir of Techno. Trollex simply smiles and goes along with it, but politely dimisses the endless suitors his parents toss his way.

He doesn't want someone picked out for him just for their nobility or ability. He wants that genuine connection, that bond of love and music that would twined their souls together.

After years of sneakily doging his parents questions as to why he's not married yet, suddenly, a distress call from one of their new allies. A distress call from Pop Village. Some water-based monster reeking havoc and they need assistance.

So, Trollex heads out to assistance them. During the fight, Trollex notices a Troll jumping out of some strang caterpillar mobile. He leaps out screaming, runs at the beast, and holy shit he has a mechete.

Despite himself, Trollex is taken by this small, wild looking man. When the monster is taken care of, he goes to Poppy and asks who he is. She gladly introduces them, telling him he's John Dory, one of Branch's older brothers.

Trollex smiles and winks and introduces himself. The Troll is a bit squeaky, shyly replying. They talk for only a few moments before JD turns around and tries to leave. Then he trips on a rock and falls flat on his face and oh my god that's it that's him that's one.

Trollex wants THAT ONE.

What Trollex at first thought was a warrior type turned out to be a strange trailer-dwelling middle-aged man who cries at the drop of hat, loves his weird bug bus a LOT, and somehow can't read a room to save his life.

And Trollex is completely enamored.

Pictured above is Trollex simply drifting around, letting JD nap on his chest. Not seen was JD downing two whole bags of potato chips, an entire pot of coffee before passing the FUCK out. Yes he is drooling. Yes he is snoring like a buzzsaw. But Trollex doesn't give a shit, he thinks it's adorable.

Ignore my lengthy description of how they met and how Trollex just scoops up this tiny weird hobo rat man, tucks him under his arm and says, "This is mine now."

I'm sorry of love this ship I can't stop drawing I'm sorry it WILL happen again

[lionlena]

I just watched the romantic comedy 'Ghosted' with Chris Evans and realized I wouldn't survive 'The Materialists'. I love Chris (since he became Captain America) and I love Pedro… This means that no matter whether Dakota's character will break Chris' or Pedro's heart, I will hate her and understand her at the same time…😭

Also… Stop doing this! Both of you…

[eggwishing]

something ive started doing

[wikitpowers]

I love your hair!dyer au for Kit!!! I was wondering what your favourite hair colours for him are!

From the ones I’ve seen you’ve post I really like the copper hair the strawberry blonde!!

I also feel like Kit would be peak with dark blonde hair or dirty blonde hair!!

queue another hair dyer!kit post, guys❗

YES I LOVE THE COPPER AND STRAWBERRY BLONDE HAIR SO BADLY AHHHH (i also got an ask about blue haired kit and made posts about kit with highlights and a MULLET bc i just love those ideas so freaking much). i’m obsessed with the hc that kit experiments with different hair colours like it’s so freaking cute! and i just know that both him and dru dye their hair together like true besties <3

but listen, as much as i love the hair dyer!kit hc, i absolutely adore (and i mean adore) his natural hair like i’m a full on sucker for blonde hair and i just know his is so so gorgeous :’)

jesus u are totally gonna regret asking me this question bc i will be going on an absolute tangent

in official arts his hair seems to have a bit of an undercut which i am actually insanely obsessed with like yes!!! undercuts are seriously so hot icl!!! 😳

↳ so i imagine his hair to sorta be like this and omg i-

also i LOVE thinking of the curly haired!kit hc,, like just imagine the ✨vision✨ ugh i just know he would look crazy good

as for the shade of blonde, i'm thinking his hair is like honey-toned blonde like proper golden. like that would just be so beautiful :"o

basically what i'm trying to say is i just love him with whatever hair style and shade he has, my boyyo :(

[ariieeesworld]

FAWKKKKK IM DROOLING