#help i’m a millennial

[pickledsprite]

Someone just tagged me in a tiktok of a guy going "would you cast me as Michael in season 3?🥺" I’m gonna actually die or pure cringe he even recreated Michael drawings I legit can’t it’s too early for me too deal with bs from heartstopper fans😭😭😭💀💀💀 edit: HES LITERALLY AMERICAN OFC HE IS DUHH

[aizenat]

I’m doing some audits, zoomers, so I need y’all’s help again. Explain boy genius to me, please? Please also include why you think I (or anyone) would like them.

Thanks in advance!

[woundedheartwithin]

Part of learning and accepting that I have adhd has been mitigating all the things I hate about things I have to do as best I can so that I can actually do them. One of those things has been changing where and how I brush my teeth. One of my biggest issues is that I think it’s fucking gross to brush my teeth in the same room I poop in, so I started brushing my teeth in the kitchen, which also has an added benefit of having a window instead of a mirror. And the best part is, now I can stand there and brush my teeth and watch my neighbor chase his horses all over their pasture because they don’t wanna be caught 😂😂😂

[lovesosweeet]

i rly try to be a cool kid and use bereal but half the time i open it when the alert goes off it just never ever loads!!!!

[fingertipsmp3]

Literally NEED my job to send my contract through so I can find out how much I’ll actually be earning and budget for rent and stuff because my god if I don’t move out I’m going to [redacted]

[souliex]

Yeah and there’s a tumblr reading illiteracy problem too. Y’all really see a screenshot of a tweet and think “yep, this is objective fact!” Plz show that you actually know how to google unlike ‘those dang kids and their eye phones’ and check your sources 😂😂😂

[ID: A tweet by Popbase that reads, "Nearly half of Gen Z is using TikTok and Instagram as a search engine instead of Google, new data shows.". Below the tweet is a pic of a poorly drawn Goomba from Super Mario Bros with text below him that reads "are you out of your fucking mind".]

[tojifm]

how do ppl get those gradient words, it looks so cool 😭

[arcaneforestmother]

Ah, that moment after a sip of coffee that quiets all the dysfunction of the day. I don’t care that it’s 1am

[hamausagi]

i feel so cringe 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[leebrontide]

I can hear Green Day’s “Warning” from here.

What was your first source of portable music? Walkman? CD player with headphones? MP3 Player? iPod? Phone? 

[woundedheartwithin]

Maaaaaaan, yeah okay, I’m socially inept and terrible at talking to people, but at least I don’t fucking need ai to do it

[urbanfiltered]

why am i crying lmao

[francesderwent]

only had a large enough sample size for these two but here’s our results, adjusted for the I’m not in this generation button

MILLENNIALS

from a sample size of 2,007 respondents:

27.97% type in the question as a full sentence

50.49% type in key words from the presumed answer

20.42% use extra codes

and 1.26% do something else

GEN Z

from a sample size of 1,183 respondents:

38.61% type in the question as a full sentence

49.9% type in key words from the presumed answer

10.09% use extra codes

and 1.35% do something else

[kabutone]

some people are just so fucking cringe

[karlyboyyy]

Look I don’t care if some 17 year old calls me cringe or whatever, I’m gonna continue to use the 😂 emoji when I find things funny. I’ll even hit ya with three of them bad boys like 😂😂😂 how you like that? I spent way too many years having to use “XD” to express laughter in text before emojis were even a thing, so y’all can miss me with that “I can spot a millennial from their use of the cry-laughing emoji unironically” bullshit. I will not apologize for my tears of laughter, dammit

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income

Make more money at the job you have

One of the simplest ways to increase your income is to just make your current employer pay you more. But while it may be simple, it ain’t always easy.

Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted

How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need To Ask for a Fucking Raise

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?” 

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

Make more money at your next job

All that said, you’re statistically more likely to increase your income faster by job hopping! So if your current employer doesn’t want to pay you more, leave that sinking ship behind in pursuit of a higher salary.

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

What To Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?” 

Invest your way to more money

Of course there are some who say the true path to wealth is passive income: when you stop working for your money and instead let your money work for you. And they’re not wrong! Here’s how we recommend you increase your income passively.

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One? 

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets 

Make more money through side hustles

When it comes to side hustles, we have traditionally advocated caution. The last thing you want to do is burn out in pursuit of a second income stream. But with enough wits and fortitude, a side hustle could help you increase your income by leaps and bounds.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

Season 2, Episode 9: “I Use My Free Time to Volunteer. Should I Focus on Making Money Instead?”

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract 

Season 4, Episode 10: “I’m a Freelance Artist. How Do I Price My Work Fairly Without Losing Clients?”

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (In the Midst of a Pandemic) With Katelyn Magnuson 

11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-employed Freelancer, and How You Can Avoid Them

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

What to do when you make more money

Once you increase your income, you might find yourself… not quite bored, but finding you have a little more bandwidth to handle the stuff that matters. It can be a jarring transition! Here are our thoughts on the matter.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed 

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

I Was Happy to Marry a Poor Man. Then Things Changed.

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted 

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art 

I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage 

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Advocate for systemic change

We don’t endorse an attitude of “I got mine.” So once you increase your income, there are lots of ways to use your newfound financial breathing room for good! Lift as you climb, my friend. Here are a few ways to do so:

Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester 

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job 

Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap

The Truth About Unions: What Has Organized Labor Done for You? 

How To Support a Labor Strike with 3 Simple Steps

Everything in moderation

One last thing, my lambs: don’t crush your spirit while chasing the goal of a higher income. Working hard is hard work. If you find these tactics are leaving you exhausted and demoralized, you might be on the road to burnout. And that road leads nowhere good!

That’s why we just released our glorious new Burnout Workshop. Click the button below to take a peek!

Get the Burnout Workshop Here!