#help help I'm being repressed
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queer-ragnelle · 3 months ago
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I'm so irritated. I have so many more retellings and medlit to share but I was holding off editing those lists until I could make a new html page to sort everything but tumblr support hasn't gotten back to me about my javascript errors. :^(
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saienby · 1 year ago
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nobodysuspectsthebutterfly · 5 months ago
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🤔 Is a king like Robert, who basically abdicates and lets better people rule instead, actually a decent king, considering?
Well, no, because it's still a monarchy with advisors appointed by the monarch, and nobody voted for these people either. Also, for every Ned Stark or Jon Arryn as Hand, there is a Petyr as the man in charge of (and embezzling) the money. And Renly in charge of laws, doing fuck all. And Janos the chief of police, being actively corrupt, disregarded by Robert.
The look the king gave Slynt was cold. "Janos was hardly the first gold cloak ever to take a bribe, I grant you, but he may have been the first commander to fatten his purse by selling places and promotions. By the end he must have had half the officers in the City Watch paying him part of their wages. Isn't that so, Janos?" Slynt's neck was purpling. "Lies, all lies! A strong man makes enemies, Your Grace knows that, they whisper lies behind your back. Naught was ever proven, not a man came forward..." "Two men who were prepared to come forward died suddenly on their rounds." Stannis narrowed his eyes. "Do not trifle with me, my lord. I saw the proof Jon Arryn laid before the small council. If I had been king you would have lost more than your office, I promise you, but Robert shrugged away your little lapses. 'They all steal,' I recall him saying. 'Better a thief we know than one we don't, the next man might be worse.' Lord Petyr's words in my brother's mouth, I'll warrant. Littlefinger had a nose for gold, and I'm certain he arranged matters so the crown profited as much from your corruption as you did yourself." —ASOS, Samwell V
It may be impossible to properly rule over an improper system, but it's perfectly possible to improperly rule straight up. And Robert did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If there's any point to the books re monarchy, @amber-laughs, I think it's this:
"Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" "Some kings make themselves. Robert did." "He was no true king," Dany said scornfully. "He did no justice. Justice... that's what kings are for." —ASOS, Daenerys III
robert looking up from the seven hells after he dies like
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robz-stays-silly · 2 years ago
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it’s always
“are you sure you’re okay, you haven’t taken your meds”
and never
there is no hope left for me, the ever-marching force of time has come to a standstill, the drums have ceased to beat, and life as a whole has stopped like snow on a fresh winter morn. the fog has arrived
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cinnamonsikwate · 10 months ago
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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gatheringkeepsakes · 1 month ago
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Been thinking about Jaune and Weiss parallels lately.
How they both come from big families with long lines of huntsmen heritage. How Weiss' house is full of conflict, but she had both pressure and opportunity in equal measure to live up to that family name. Whereas Jaune seems to have a lot of fond memories of home, but was given no opportunity to follow in his ancestors footsteps. How he had to sneak his way into Beacon just for a chance to be the hero.
How Weiss acted like she was la crème de la crème but had so much to learn, while Jaune knew he was so far behind everyone else that he struggled to see how much talent he had. How quickly he grew.
I also keep thinking about how they fiddle with the Princess and Knight roles. Starting out as Snow White the Ice Queen and Jeanne d'Arc the Greenhorn Knight, but by V9 Weiss is heir to neither kingdom nor crown, and Jaune has become The Rusted Knight incarnate. I wonder where they'll go from here with both those archetypes of theirs having crumbled quite a bit...
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“i’m not team black, i’m team rhaenys.”
i think it’s incredibly idiotic to argue over which woman is the rightful heir when you could be arguing about how all of the women who were passed over/usurped are the rightful heirs 🤷‍♀️ rhaena should’ve been queen followed by aerea, rhaenys should’ve been queen followed by laena and then followed by baela, rhaenyra should’ve been queen followed by jace as king, etc. instead of continuously pitting the women in this world against each other, why don’t we just admit that the system as a whole is sexist and hold the people (cough couch men) upholding the patriarchy and denouncing a woman’s right to rule accountable instead.
they ALL should’ve been the mf queen.
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who-is-page · 5 months ago
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dude from the bottom of my heart, why do sysmeds talk like anime villains. i promise it's not censorship and oppression that someone blocked u on social media or maybe made a post unrebloggable <3 have they ever considered that completely outrageous and overblown reactions like that about people reinforcing boundaries and choosing their own terms of engagement are in fact precisely why people block sysmeds <3 i wish sysmeds the best in recovering from their chronic cases of making mountains out of molehills get better soon tho <3
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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spocks-kaathyra · 9 months ago
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"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that
#joking but like. am I wrong though#yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell#except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem#I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it#this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think#mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction#but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face#anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops#also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie#really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level#mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child#but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful#oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships#ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS#literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them#there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine#guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry#narcissus's echoes#vent
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No one:
Me whenever I see yet another blog I respect and admire make/reblog a post on how the lesbian/comphet masterdoc is biphobic/inaccurate:
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#lesbian#lesbophobia#comphet#lesbian masterdoc#comphet masterdoc#it's like aww c'mon not you too!#but it's like idk what is with people's obsession with trying to invalidate lesbians' experiences and saying that we are biphobic just for#our relation to the patriarchy#and saying that a tool that has helped many lesbians come to terms with our sexualities must secretly be some evil biphobic scheme#to force bisexual women back into the closet/eliminate and invalidate their attraction to men#i promise you that that is not what we're doing#it feels like they're just trying to say that the comphet masterdoc is wrong and that any lesbian who relates to it is really just bi and i#the closet#and as a lesbian who already suffers from comphet/intrusive thoughts about being sexually involved with men posts like these just make my#comphet go through the roof#they make me wonder even more if maybe my intrusive thoughts are my real feelings and i'm just repressing my attraction to men because the#lesbian masterdoc made me realize i was a lesbian and not attracted to men like i previously thought#and in addition they love to say that the creator of the doc came out as bi when it was only one of the editors of the doc#but ofc people just focus on that because they want so badly to prove that the comphet masterdoc doesn't exist and that it's simply#forcing bi girls to have denial#and then they love to say 'it was written by a bunch of teenagers' as if that invalidates it#or as if teenagers' experiences with comphet aren't real or trustworthy or worth listening to as if we are all simply irrational or naive#like atp people should just say the quiet part out loud that they think every lesbian who struggles with comphet is faking it and that we#are secretly bi and just think we're lesbians because we're traumatized by men but that eventually we will realize that we need a man in#fr it's just saddening#it's especially treacherous when other lesbians make posts like these#like come on now are you for real#i thought we were in this together#anyway that's all i'm done ranting lol
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pisshandkerchief · 8 months ago
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had Rocky Horror rehearsal tonight and started thinking that really I should be playing Brad Majors....none of these bitches get him like I do.....
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 months ago
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one of these days i'll write up a post about the parallels and foils between vivi and hermes and why it fucking kills me. for now all i can say is in hindsight the 'latched onto vivi Hard as a kid' to 'latched onto hermes Hard as an adult' pipeline is Real
#ffix#ffxiv#vivi ornitier#ffxiv hermes#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy ix#the absolute fuckor#hermes really is just such an interesting and visceral deconstruction of/foil to vivi's themes#ranging from *vivi* being the one in the same role as the familiars here#in comparison to hermes meaning the best in the world and trying So Hard; but ultimately coming from a place of immense privilege#and the fact that he was fumbling around in the dark in a society that very aggressively tried to insulate him from any meaningful#perspective on the shitty things he had internalized about familiars without realizing it; much less knowledge to unpack it#and how in the end he still was shitty to and about familiars; including and especially his daughters; who he abused#and some of that stemmed at least partly from his own selfishness and the things he was in denial about#to the fact that vivi had *support* when it came to things like grief and fear and life being precious#and the importance of finding your own meaning in it; while at the same time treating unavoidable death with weight and respect#and people in his life being like 'yeah it's pretty fucking understandable to be fucked up about all this'#instead of at most condescendingly treating him like a freak and an outlier for like. fucking being sad or angry about things. lol#bc *vivi gets angry.* he doesn't just feel sad he gets fucking furious; he feels real ass hate; he wants people to die for what they've done#and when he *does* question that in himself it's not ~uwu if i hate people i'm just as bad as them~; it's 'i've repressed so hard that i#literally have forgotten how to identify what sadness feels like; and it bothers me that my grief response skips straight to hatred now'#i just. god i love vivi so much i could go on. anyway when someone tries to pull a 'familiar-equivalents are soulless puppets#with a single purpose and it's fine to kill them if they're defective or obsolete' vivi tries to explode him with his mind#and his friends go i'll help! and that's why i love ffix#ffixtag#ffxivtag#FF tag
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lesbiansanemi · 5 days ago
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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no-pasaran-99 · 8 days ago
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you know what. sometimes i am in fact bitter. and sometimes i am in fact also vindictive, a little.
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frankensteinmutual · 2 months ago
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tw sa/csa ic
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