#hello sorry that this is my first post in nearly a year lol

[ms-demeanor]

Hello! First, I wanted to say thank you for your post about updating software and such. I really appreciated your perspective as someone with ADHD. The way you described your experiences with software frustration was IDENTICAL to my experience, so your post made a lot of sense to me.

Second, (and I hope my question isn't bothering you lol) would you mind explaining why it's important to update/adopt the new software? Like, why isn't there an option that doesn't involve constantly adopting new things? I understand why they'd need to fix stuff like functional bugs/make it compatible with new tech, but is it really necessary to change the user side of things as well?

Sorry if those are stupid questions or they're A Lot for a tumblr rando to ask, I'd just really like to understand because I think it would make it easier to get myself to adopt new stuff if I understand why it's necessary, and the other folks I know that know about computers don't really seem to understand the experience.

Thank you so much again for sharing your wisdom!!

A huge part of it is changing technologies and changing norms; I brought up Windows 8 in that other post and Win8 is a *great* example of user experience changing to match hardware, just in a situation that was an enormous mismatch with the market.

Win8's much-beloathed tiles came about because Microsoft seemed to be anticipating a massive pivot to tablet PCs in nearly all applications. The welcome screen was designed to be friendly to people who were using handheld touchscreens who could tap through various options, and it was meant to require more scrolling and less use of a keyboard.

But most people who the operating system went out to *didn't* have touchscreen tablets or laptops, they had a desktop computer with a mouse and a keyboard.

When that was released, it was Microsoft attempting to keep up with (or anticipate) market trends - they wanted something that was like "the iPad for Microsoft" so Windows 8 was meant to go with Microsoft Surface tablets.

We spent the first month of Win8's launch making it look like Windows 7 for our customers.

You can see the same thing with the centered taskbar on Windows 11; that's very clearly supposed to mimic the dock on apple computers (only you can't pin it anywhere but the bottom of the screen, which sucks).

Some of the visual changes are just trends and various companies trying to keep up with one another.

With software like Adobe I think it's probably based on customer data. The tool layout and the menu dropdowns are likely based on what people are actually looking for, and change based on what other tools people are using. That's likely true for most programs you use - the menu bar at the top of the screen in Word is populated with the options that people use the most; if a function you used to click on all the time is now buried, there's a possibility that people use it less these days for any number of reasons. (I'm currently being driven mildly insane by Teams moving the "attach file" button under a "more" menu instead of as an icon next to the "send message" button, and what this tells me is either that more users are putting emojis in their messages than attachments, or microsoft WANTS people to put more emojis than messages in their attachments).

But focusing on the operating system, since that's the big one:

The thing about OSs is that you interact with them so frequently that any little change seems massive and you get REALLY frustrated when you have to deal with that, but version-to-version most OSs don't change all that much visually and they also don't get released all that frequently. I've been working with windows machines for twelve years and in that time the only OSs that Microsoft has released were 8, 10, and 11. That's only about one OS every four years, which just is not that many. There was a big visual change in the interface between 7 and 8 (and 8 and 8.1, which is more of a 'panicked backing away' than a full release), but otherwise, realistically, Windows 11 still looks a lot like XP.

The second one is a screenshot of my actual computer. The only change I've made to the display is to pin the taskbar to the left side instead of keeping it centered and to fuck around a bit with the colors in the display customization. I haven't added any plugins or tools to get it to look different.

This is actually a pretty good demonstration of things changing based on user behavior too - XP didn't come with a search field in the task bar or the start menu, but later versions of Windows OSs did, because users had gotten used to searching things more in their phones and browsers, so then they learned to search things on their computers.

There are definitely nefarious reasons that software manufacturers change their interfaces. Microsoft has included ads in home versions of their OS and pushed searches through the Microsoft store since Windows 10, as one example. That's shitty and I think it's worthwhile to find the time to shut that down (and to kill various assistants and background tools and stop a lot of stuff that runs at startup).

But if you didn't have any changes, you wouldn't have any changes. I think it's handy to have a search field in the taskbar. I find "settings" (which is newer than control panel) easier to navigate than "control panel." Some of the stuff that got added over time is *good* from a user perspective - you can see that there's a little stopwatch pinned at the bottom of my screen; that's a tool I use daily that wasn't included in previous versions of the OS. I'm glad it got added, even if I'm kind of bummed that my Windows OS doesn't come with Spider Solitaire anymore.

One thing that's helpful to think about when considering software is that nobody *wants* to make clunky, unusable software. People want their software to run well, with few problems, and they want users to like it so that they don't call corporate and kick up a fuss.

When you see these kinds of changes to the user experience, it often reflects something that *you* may not want, but that is desirable to a *LOT* of other people. The primary example I can think of here is trackpad scrolling direction; at some point it became common for trackpads to scroll in the opposite direction that they used to; now the default direction is the one that feels wrong to me, because I grew up scrolling with a mouse, not a screen. People who grew up scrolling on a screen seem to feel that the new direction is a lot more intuitive, so it's the default. Thankfully, that's a setting that's easy to change, so it's a change that I make every time I come across it, but the change was made for a sensible reason, even if that reason was opaque to me at the time I stumbled across it and continues to irritate me to this day.

I don't know. I don't want to defend Windows all that much here because I fucking hate Microsoft and definitely prefer using Linux when I'm not at work or using programs that I don't have on Linux. But the thing is that you'll see changes with Linux releases as well.

I wouldn't mind finding a tool that made my desktop look 100% like Windows 95, that would be fun. But we'd probably all be really frustrated if there hadn't been any interface improvements changes since MS-DOS (and people have DEFINITELY been complaining about UX changes at least since then).

Like, I talk about this in terms of backward compatibility sometimes. A lot of people are frustrated that their old computers can't run new software well, and that new computers use so many resources. But the flipside of that is that pretty much nobody wants mobile internet to work the way that it did in 2004 or computers to act the way they did in 1984.

Like. People don't think about it much these days but the "windows" of the Windows Operating system represented a massive change to how people interacted with their computers that plenty of people hated and found unintuitive.

(also take some time to think about the little changes that have happened that you've appreciated or maybe didn't even notice. I used to hate the squiggly line under misspelled words but now I see the utility. Predictive text seems like new technology to me but it's really handy for a lot of people. Right clicking is a UX innovation. Sometimes you have to take the centered task bar in exchange for the built-in timer deck; sometimes you have to lose color-coded files in exchange for a right click.)

[aziraphales-library]

Hi there! First off, thank you so much for y’all’s work here on Tumblr, def one of my main sources of fic recs.

I read Summer’s End by FeralTuxedo a while ago (lovely rec) and am definitely back in my TLOU-apocalyptic-setting-with-a-moody-but-calm/nature-esk-atmosphere-and-character-centred-plot era again. I just genuinely enjoyed the specific atmosphere that the apocalyptic setting gives works. Anyway, that being said, I would love any recs that would fit that kind of vibe (I would prefer less smut since I skip over it but honestly as long as it isn’t specifically plot-relevant its fine lol also not TOO much angst please, I cant deal with Az or Crow actually dying or something like that unless it is done in a comforting way).

ps: on a more specific request, if y’all know of any GO fics inspired by TLOU I would greatly appreciate recs (look, Bill and Frank’s episode in the tv adaptation is screaming to be written as a fic with Az and Crow instead- Bill and Frank’s deaths are wht I mean by deaths done in a comforting way I suppose, haha).

Wow, this is a long request, so sorry. Thank you so much for reading, have a great day and happy new year!

Hello! Pretty sure we've recommended almost all of these before, but there aren't loads of this kind of fic (and I could find no The Last of Us specific fics)...

Dead Genres by A_plus_platypus (T)

The end is nigh when a zombie virus ravages the world. Luckily, there is hope yet in the form of pharmaceutical scientist Anthony "Just Crowley" Crowley. With his adopted younger brother Adam, his other three kids The Them, and English teacher Aziraphale Fell, he searches for the fated military base in Tadfield. There, they — along with the rest of the world — have a chance at survival. And also Crowley is a disaster, and Aziraphale is a disaster, and everyone needs a hot cup of tea.

what's to come by PepperPrints, restlesslikeme (M)

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Even without the Antichrist, both Heaven and Hell insist on Armageddon. Aziraphale is missing and Crowley sets out to find him, driving through a scorched Earth with a witch in his passenger seat.

is there anybody out there? by theycallmeDernhelm (E)

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse. England has been overrun by walking corpses, everything's gone to hell, and the few survivors are scattered- among them, Crowley and his 11-year-old son Warlock. When Crowley's radio signal is unexpectedly picked up by another group of survivors, he finds himself falling, in a way he never thought he'd fall again, for the charming and kindly Aziraphale. Over three seasons and a tenuous radio connection, a romance develops between them, while a friendship grows between Warlock and Aziraphale's nephew Adam. Love isn't dead (or undead) after all.

Ouroboros Forever and One by iblankedonmyname (T)

An AU where the Apocalypse-Definitely-Did, Aziraphale is a cowboy and Crowley is on a mission from God to reboot the universe. “God gave you, a demon, a mission?” Aziraphale snaps his glass onto the table. “Millions of angels at Her disposal, and yet…” His eyes are sparkling again. It’s more refreshing than a glass of tequila in a waterless land. “You?” His eyes slip from Crowley’s toes up to the top of his head. “Well, I am certainly surprised.”

Zombie Apocalypse by AppleSeeds (T)

When a meteor strikes Earth carrying a virus that can 'turn people into zombies', Aziraphale finds himself responsible for a group of frightened teenagers at an airbase-turned-hospital in Tadfield. Aziraphale is terrified, but experiences some relief when the teens introduce him to Crowley, who has a plan to get them all to safety. When things don't exactly go according to plan and with the zombies closing in, Aziraphale must face his fears in order to protect the children from becoming infected.

My Favorite Ghost by cassieoh_draws, DiminishingReturns (T)

Decades after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell got their war — and nearly destroyed everything in the process. When Aziraphale finally manages to reacquire a corporation and return to Earth, he discovers he was gone longer than he thought and the planet has become unrecognizable. As he searches for Crowley and tries to figure out how he fits in a world that Heaven, Hell, and God have all wiped their hands of, nature works around him to reclaim the bones of an old civilization as the scraps of humanity build a new one. A lush and optimistic post-apocalypse story, told from the POV of an immortal who can't let go of the past.

And the one you mentioned...

Summer's End by FeralTuxedo (E)

2095. Britain is a post-apocalyptic wasteland ravaged by droughts, the collapse of civilisation, and hordes of the undead. Despite that, Aziraphale’s life is actually pretty good. He has his caravan, his books, and his work, offering his services to the men who stop by Tadfield on their arduous journey north. One day, a mysterious stranger knocks on his door. Crowley is charming and handsome and he appears to know his way around a vegetable garden. He comes with the tempting offer of a mutually beneficial arrangement. But it’s in Aziraphale’s best interest not to get too attached. A dystopian cottagecore sex worker AU.

- Mod D

[pande-monty-um]

Hi!

What are your favorite Far cry 5 headcanons?

Hello! Good question 😁 I've got a few that I tend to apply to my "regular au's" lol.

I've mentioned in another post that goes into more detail about this. I headcanon Staci as being on the wrestling team during school.

It just makes sense to me and has kinda become unofficial canon in my mind so I guess that's my favorite one!

There's the classics!

Jacob's a speed demon and gets pulled over often

Staci's a mama's boy (I actually have a drawing of his mom I've been working on just need to make one last tweak and it'll be ready to post!)

A few others I didn't mention in the other post that I particularly like:

- Jacob not being able to control who passes the trials. They either OD on Bliss and the conditioning or they pass. So Staci would need to pass the trials with his own skills which just ends up as a bonus for Jacob cause now he has a pawn to use against the deputy.

-I usually headcanon Staci as mixed race or "white passing". I did a pretty in depth character study of his features cause I wanted to get it right and that's the vibe I got. I'll probably make another post about that one of these days.

Also, he's always bilingual to me. My go-to headcanon is that I can see him speaking in broken spanish/ english at home with his mom (kind of like in Spiderverse with Miles and his mom). It's the struggle of the immigrant/ 1st gen child wanting to keep in touch with their roots but would struggle to have a convo in pure Spanish. I imagine growing up he was surrounded by kids in similar situations as him so he had alot of opportunities to speak "spanglish" with them even if he wasn't very close to anyone in particular.

- John being scared of Jacob (which is canon) but being the first he runs to when things get tough. Jacob always helps out even if he doesn't agree with John's methods.

- Sharky's actually friends with Hudson and Staci (sorry i dont make the rules 🤷). He's got a 5k reward out for his arrest but no one in the County is willing to bring him in. Everyone's got an unspoken agreement like "He's an arsonist but he's Our arsonist", so when Burke comes sniffin round suddenly nobody's heard of him in weeks, they cannot see 🙂‍↔️.

- This last one is a bit more serious.

Early on, when the Seed's moved in. During the few years that it took to establish the Cult, a lot of the more outspoken deputies had "mysteriously" gone missing, or moved away. On top of that, Whitehorse ended up having to weed out a lot of the cultists and sympathizers when nearly all the evidence they had on the Seed's was "mishandled" "lost" "thrown out in court" ext. which by the end only left Pratt, Hudson, and Nancy.

That meant they had to keep their mouths shut about the cult info, couldn't go on any calls without a partner (which caused alot of houses to get raided since they usually arrived too late), and lots of overnight naps at the station. Staci and Joey worked hard to cover each other but they were running on fumes and practically lived in the station by the time Burke arrived with his little paper of unlimited protection. Rook was meant to be a much needed addition to the department. Unfortunately, their first day turned into a war zone situation.

I'd love to hear some of your headcanons as well!

[arc852]

29. Sweet Tooth

Definition: a great liking for sweet-tasting foods.

Summary: Joel and Jimmy arrive at Joel's home and Jimmy tries something sweet for the first time.

G/t: Joel is normal-sized, Jimmy is a borrower

Word Count: 2027

AO3 Link

Another installment in the BBBCAU! This pretty much takes place right after Coveted. You might need to read that one or you'll be a bit confused!

Also, I can't believe GtJuly2024 is almost over! But we've got two more stories left! And I'm definietly not going to stop writing after this. There just might be a bit more time between posts after this month lol.

I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Joel entered his room after his reunion with his family. He’d normally spend more time talking to them and visiting first thing but he kind of rushed it, knowing Jimmy was in his pocket. He knew the poor borrower wanted out as soon as possible, the chest pocket not being nearly as comfortable as a hoodie pocket, according to Jimmy. So he hurried along the hellos to his family so he could rush to his room.

 He closed the door behind him, finally having some privacy. Despite his best efforts to rush, his family still managed to keep him downstairs for an hour. Jimmy was probably suffocating in his pocket by now. The thought made Joel more nervous and he lifted up the lip of his chest pocket. “Hey, everything alright in there?”

 Jimmy looked up at him from the pocket, looking more or less okay, if a little ruffled. He sent Joel a thumbs up. “All good but ready to come out now if possible.” Jimmy said with a chuckle and Joel snorted in turn. He then reached in carefully, using only two fingers to snag onto Jimmy’s body and pull him out. As soon as he was out of the pocket, Joel moved his other hand and released his pinched grip on Jimmy, letting him sit on his open palm.

 “Well, welcome to my room.” Joel said a bit half-heartedly. He’d be more excited but he did just drive 3 hours. “This is where I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life before going away to University.” 

 For Jimmy’s part, he did look excited. “Wow! It looks like the dorm but…more you!” Jimmy exclaimed, looking up at Joel with a grin.

 Joel snorted. “What does that even mean?” Joel walked farther into his room, setting his suitcase down at the foot of his bed and sitting on top of the bed, reaching over with his free hand to turn on his bedside lamp.

 “I don’t know, I can just tell this is your room, is all.” Jimmy tried to explain himself, face heating up a bit.

 “Or maybe you know it’s my room because I told you it is.” Joel quipped back and laughed as Jimmy got heated.

 “That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Jimmy yelled over Joel’s laughter.

 Suddenly, there was a brief knock on Joel’s door before it began to open. In a panic, Joel clasped his hands together with Jimmy in the middle to hide him and then placed his hands in his lap to look a bit more normal. His mom peeked in, looking at the odd way Joel was sitting with a confused face but thankfully she didn’t say anything.

 “Just wanted to let you know dinner is ready. Wash your hands and come down to eat.” She said and Joel nodded, watching and waiting until the door was fully closed and he heard her footsteps walking away. He let out a sigh of relief and opened his hands up.

 He winced as he saw Jimmy looked a bit knocked around. “Sorry Jim, I wasn’t expecting her to suddenly come in here like that.” He supposed dorm life made him used to people not suddenly walking in. “Are you okay?” He raised his hand, trying to make sure he didn’t hurt him with the sudden movement.

 “Yeah, I’m okay. Just startled me is all.” Jimmy said with a smile. “I’d rather be a bit ruffled than have someone else see me though. So thanks.”

 Joel nodded seriously. “Of course. Both me and Grian know how important it is to keep you hidden from everyone else.” He didn’t want to think about someone with ill intentions getting their hands on Jimmy. The very thought made his blood boil. He shook his head. “Anyway, if I don’t start heading down, mom will come up here again.” He set Jimmy down on his nightstand and stood up.

 “I’ll bring you up some dinner afterwards but it might be a bit. Are you gonna be okay here by yourself?” Joel asked, a little nervous leaving Jimmy alone. Sure, they left him alone all the time back at the dorm but Jimmy knew that place like the back of his hand. This was all new for the borrower.

 Jimmy waved away his worries. “I’ll be fine! I’ll just explore a bit, I’ve got plenty to see after all.” he wouldn’t be bored, that was for sure.

 Joel nodded. “Okay, just be careful.” He headed toward the door, glanced at Jimmy one more time before quickly opening and closing the door behind him.

 Jimmy listened to Joel’s footsteps fade away as he realized he was now alone for the first time in, well, a while. It was kind of nice if he was being honest. He loved Grian and Joel but even now it could still feel overwhelming being around them at times. Being alone for these little bits gave him some time to reset.

 Besides, right now, he was also excited to explore Joel’s room. It had been such a long time since he had explored a new space. Back at the college, a lot of dorm rooms were exactly the same, save the things inside that people brought with them. But this was completely new and Jimmy could feel his instincts kicking in. He wanted to explore and borrow and he wanted to do it now.

 Of course, he wouldn’t be doing any actual borrowing. This was Joel’s stuff after all and there wasn’t anything that he actually needed. But acting like he was on the hunt for something settled something in him that he hadn’t realized was still there.

 He started his climb down from the nightstand, ready and eager to explore.

  ***

   Joel balanced a plate in one hand and a glass of water in the other as he tried to open his door without dropping either of them. He thought about sneaking the food away at first, but there was no way he would be able to with all his family’s attention on him. So instead he lied and said he was still hungry. Thankfully it worked and he was ushered upstairs with an extra plate of food, some dessert, and water. It was honestly too much for Jimmy to eat but at least he had some variety in his options.

 He finally managed to open the door, closing it quickly behind him. He then stood there, scared to move when he realized Jimmy said he would be exploring. Which meant the borrower was currently on the ground. And without eyes on him, Joel didn’t want to move a single step. “Jimmy? It’s just me. I brought dinner.”

 His eyes scanned the floor until he saw Jimmy coming out from underneath his bed. He relaxed and made his way over to set the food and drink on his nightstand, being careful of where Jimmy was at. After making his hands free, he crouched down and scooped Jimmy up. Jimmy must have been expecting it because he didn’t so much as make a noise. He just settled into Joel’s palms. Joel smiled a bit at that, almost not wanting to put him down. But he knew Jimmy needed to eat, so he set him down on the nightstand as Joel took a seat on his bed.

 “Whoa! This looks so good!” Jimmy exclaimed, running over to the plate. 

 “Yeah, it tastes good too.” Joel forgot how Jimmy survived solely on take-out and dorm food. Which were fine but it didn’t hold a candle to a nice home-cooked meal. Was this Jimmy’s first time eating something home-cooked? “I think the chicken will be easy enough for you to eat but I’m not sure about the mashed potatoes.” Joel tried to explain.

 “I think it’ll be fine. It’s solid enough.” Jimmy said as he stuck his finger in it and licked it. He grinned at the taste. He then looked at the other thing on the plate, his eyes going wide. “What’s that?” He pointed to it.

 Joel hummed, following his finger. “Oh! My mom made us some dessert. Something special for coming back home. It’s chocolate cake.”

 “Chocolate cake?” Jimmy repeated back. He had never heard of it, at least as far as he could remember.

 Joel blinked. “Oh, I guess the dorms don’t really have desserts or sweets huh?” Not only has Jimmy been deprived of home-cooked meals but of sweets as well? He really needed to figure out a way to get these things to Jimmy more often. It just wasn’t fair.

 “Yeah, some humans bring like, chocolate bars and stuff with them, but those things are coveted. I never even hoped to get my hands on one. It would have been too much of a risk.” Jimmy explained and Joel winced. 

 “Well, you don’t have to worry about that now. Go ahead and eat as much as you want.” Joel said, leaning back on his hands to let Jimmy go at it. Jimmy for his part, nodded and started eating. He started with the actual dinner first, going for some chicken and then grabbing a scoop of mashed potatoes for himself. Joel watched fascinated. He’s seen Jimmy eat multiple times now but it was always so weird. Joel couldn’t help but stare sometimes.

 Jimmy was done with the main course pretty quickly. He couldn’t eat too much of it after all. In fact, to Joel it barely looked like he had made a dent out of it. At least it didn’t cost anything extra for Grian and Joel to keep Jimmy fed. Joel watched, excited, as Jimmy made his way to the chocolate cake.

 Jimmy himself was also excited. This would be his first time trying anything chocolate, let alone cake. He couldn’t wait to see what all the fuss was about. He grabbed himself a handful, making sure to get a bit of everything in it. It was messy though, way messier than even the mashed potatoes had been. Jimmy ignored that though and went in for a bite.

 His eyes widened.

 Joel laughed at Jimmy’s expression. “That good huh?”

 All Jimmy could do was nod as he went in for another bite. And another. And another.

 Joel blinked, laughter dying off and replaced by a bit of awe. “Oh wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat that much.”

 Jimmy couldn’t help it, it was the best thing he had ever tasted. Was this what he had been missing out on all this time? If that was the case, maybe the risk would have been worth it after all. This was delicious. 

 Joel’s awe was soon replaced by concern. “Ah, okay, yeah, I think I gotta cut you off here.” Joel said as he gently grabbed Jimmy and pulled him away from the cake. 

 “Hey!” Jimmy squirmed in his grip and Joel almost dropped him. He brought his other hand underneath to make sure nothing happened. Jimmy hadn’t squirmed in his grasp in a long time. Not since they had first met. This was different though, of course, as Jimmy very quickly settled down and just huffed at him.

 “Sorry Jimmy but if you keep it up, you’re gonna get a stomach ache.” He looked back over at the cake. Unlike the rest of the food, he could very clearly see that it had been eaten off of. “I’ll keep in mind you’ve got quite the sweet tooth though. I promise that won’t be your last chocolate cake.”

 Jimmy perked up a bit at that. “Alright. I guess I should stop for now.” Jimmy agreed and Joel laughed. He then took a better look at Jimmy and noticed how much of a mess he was. His laughter turned into playful disgust.

 “And you’re a mess. Guess it’s time for a visit to the sink.” Joel said with a shrug, grinning as Jimmy yelled. 

“No! Not the sink!”

 Joel laughed as he headed toward the bathroom in order to prepare the sink so Jimmy could clean himself up.

 The rest of this break was looking like it was going to be a lot of fun.

[kukurubean]

personal update

Hi! Hello! I'm sorry I haven't been very personable lately. A lot of you probably know I have been struggling with my health. Which has been going on for. nearly 5 years now. And I've just steadily gotten worse and worse, lol,

Anyway. I wanted to post an update to say I may have finally hit a breakthrough. 🥲🤞

I have some sort of fun wombo-combo of about 3 or 4 conditions trying to destroy me all at once, so every treatment I've tried (which isn't actually a lot, since there are no real treatments for what I have and most doctors don't want to deal with it) has done nothing and I have also been to just about every kind of medical specialist under the sun. I still get nightmares over the disaster that was traveling all the way to Mayo Clinic and I've been trying to pick up the pieces ever since.

My main doctor right now is a rheumatologist who I think I haunt at night. I've stumped him for what seems like the first time in his life. But he's trying harder than anyone else I've had before. Everyone else sent me away at this point lol

But this update comes after I had a "fuck it" moment and decided to once again apply to the big hospital nearby, because apparently I am somehow on their roster after being rejected over and over for several years now 🤪 (I think it's because of an echocardiogram I did on one of their campuses.)

Anywho, we managed to find a doctor willing to prescribe me a drug could help me feel human again. I've been to about 3 neurologists over this nonsense and no one was willing to jump through the hoops for it because it is, admittedly, an absolute pain in the ass to prescribe. It's called Xywav and it's not only a highly controlled substance but also the only damn drug of its type on the market. So you can only imagine the gerrymandering.

He's sending me to another doctor first, just to see if this other guy can offer any insight into wtf is wrong with me, but if he doesn't suggest anything else I should finally be on track to try it! I obviously don't know if it will work for me but it's the only decent bet I have left. If it doesn't work I am going to cry for about 3 months straight so please help me manifest this

[evercelle]

hello!! ive been following from here and on twitter, but mostly twitter, since u veeery first started posting xiaoven (venxiao?) art

i wanted to let you know that your art has irreversibly changed my life for the better. ive been drawing since i was very very tiny but by the time i got to junior year of high school i had no muse and no inspiration and no direction and your posts got to me at just the right time. your use of composition and colors are gorgeous and i dont even usually enjoy this type of art style but yours really just spoke to me

working tirelessly to get “to your level” (as silly as it sounds) completely reignited a spark in me — receiving your xiaoven christmas card and being able to examine all the details in physical form inspired me to work on a huge, detailed illustration of my own! (or at least i thought it was huge and detailed at the time lmao, looking back it’s not all that great). and even outside of that, every illustration was a push for me to learn more about backgrounds, lighting, the placement of detail, expression, character design — it was a lot and im eternally grateful for it.

sorry for rambling at you !! but thank you so much for the work you do. im now broke in my early years of college so i havent been able to afford your shop wares, but i wouldve loved to help monetarily for all the good youve done for me just by existing. im not nearly as active of a follower as before (and even then ‘active’ was a stretch, ive kind of just lurked) but one of my mutuals reposted a work of yours and i felt like just kinda putting this here iunno

and im so so sorry if this is super parasocial or weird LOL :”))) i promise this is probably the only time ill have the courage to interact directly

thank you, ever :)

heyo anon!! i was pretty floored reading this... thank you for taking the time to send such a kind message. i don't think it's ever too late to come back to drawing, so i'm glad you found your drive. hope you've been having fun with every single illustration since, no matter how they turned out!

developing skills is hard and sometimes discouraging work... but i think getting to the point where you're able to express yourself the way you want must be one of the happiest feelings in the world.

[thescrapwitch]

Hello! I keep wanting to message you so I’m gonna use your fic game ask post as an excuse, lol! XD

If you’d care to indulge me, I’d love to see the Flip Flop version of Feanor and Nerdanel’s first reunion in “From Ruins We Grow.” (Love this fic so much. 🥰) I’d love to see what all she was thinking and feeling going to meet him again after so long. 👀

Thank you!

Thank you! You can message me anytime, I love talking about my fics 😊

Fun fact: I had no idea Nerdanel was going to show up so early in the fic, but she kind of burst onto the page, making me just as surprised as Fëanor was. I thought she would stay back until chapter 7 or 8, but nope! She was determined to be a bigger part of this fic and face him.

Here’s a little bit of their first scene together but from her POV:

“Fëanor.” The name came out of Nerdanel’s mouth like a curse, burning her tongue as she spoke it.

He looked - damn him, he looked like he had years and years ago. Dark hair a mess, eyes catching her heart with how they dazzled in the light. But gone was his grin: determined, self-assured, full of promises. In its place was a hesitancy, a vulnerability that made him look ready to crumble if she stepped too close.

A part of her wanted to step closer. To hit him, to hold him, to shake him hard until answers fell out. Why did you damn our lives, why did you drag my babies away, why did you lead them to death and ruin? Why was our life not enough for you?

Why did you have to come back?

Why couldn’t you have stayed?

“I have brought your pots,” she said instead, her hands balled into fists.

“Thank you.” He spoke softly. That was new as well. No demands, no yelling. The fire that always shone in his speech had been dimmed. His eyes never once left her face, as though trying to memorize every tiny detail. “Is your father well?”

“Yes,” said Nerdanel, surprised that he would care enough to ask. “I told him I wanted to see you. Alone.”

Fëanor’s eyes became bright, his lips turning into a smile. “I have wanted to see you as well.”

Of all the things to say! The nerve of him to throw that at her, after everything! “You left,” she said, daring him to argue back, to start a fight.

He did not take the bait. “Yes.”

“You took our sons.”

“Yes.”

“They are dead.” The grief of it tore at her, the thought of all her babies lying dead and broken, or burnt to ashes, or drowned alone in cold, faraway waters. “All of them are dead, and so were you.”

“I am sorry,” he said, and even in her anger she knew that he meant it. “I did not want to come back without them.”

“Are they - ” Nerdanel turned away, suddenly unable to look at him. Do not break, not now, not when your pride is all you have left. “Are they well, in Mandos? Or did you damn our children to eternal darkness?”

“They are in the Halls,” he said. “They are no longer in any danger or pain.”

Nerdanel nodded, her mouth pressed into a thin, hard line. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, a pain so deep in her heart that it nearly knocked her to her knees. My three middle ones slain at Doriath, my youngest two cut down in Sirion, my beautiful eldest jumped into fire, my sweet little singer lost to the sea - and my husband - my damn husband nothing but ashes -

Fëanor reached for her hand. “Nerdanel - ”

She jerked away. It was his fault, after all, that her babies were dead. “Your pots are this way,” she said, and led him to the cart.

[quillsandcauldroncakes]

I Found You (Bucky Barnes X Rogers!Reader)

Words: 4.1k

Warnings/Themes: Angst! Character death, abduction, torture, human experimentation, allusions to PTSD, depression, thoughts of wanting to be unalived

Characters/Pairings: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter (Mentioned), Howling Commandos (Mentioned)

misspygmypie asked:

Hello 🥰 I saw your request post and figured I'd send something in. I've had this idea for years, and it would be fun to read it!

You know when Steve finds and rescues Bucky at Hydra in the first movie? What if it's reader who they're rescuing and Hydra did some experiments on. Maybe she's Steves sister and they wanted to get to him through her and obviously Bucky has a thing for her lol 🥰

A/N: Sincerest apologies for taking so long to get this up. I've been taking on extra duties at work since my partner got fired and things have been super crazy since it's end of quarter. it also hasn't been the best for my mental health, so writing had been a struggle. probably why this ended up being so dang angsty. Sorry. Adulting seriously sucks. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Rain pattered gently on the canvas walls of the medical tent, while boots splashed noisily in the mud it created. Outside of the tent, she could hear the daily drills going on, soldiers training, and officers shouting commands. Her own fellow nurses milled about the tent, tending to wounded soldiers or doing other daily chores. It was a quiet day for the 107th Infantry Regiment.

“Alright, Private Richards, try not to go sticking your hand into random holes again. I doubt the next rabbit will be so kind.” Nimble fingers began tidying up the bloodied cotton balls and gauze used to clean and wrap the boy’s hand. 18 years old, you would think he’d know better than to stick his hand in holes in the ground.

“Yes, First Lieutenant, ma’am…” The boy grabbed his jacket and sulked out of the med tent. She laughed to herself as she watched him go. Knowing him, he’d be back soon enough. Not unlike his Sergeant, who wandered in a few moments later, a lazy smirk on his lips.

James Buchanan Barnes. Or as she’s known for most of her life, Bucky. The charming Sergeant was her older brother’s best friend, having been around since she was small. They were all thick as thieves, hardly seen without one of the others.

It may or may not have been a blessing to constantly have Bucky around. He was kind, funny, and took good care of her and her brother. However, other boys and men didn’t seem too eager to get to know her with him hanging at her shoulder. It’s even worse now with Steve being triple the size he was a year ago.

Occasionally, a brave soul will strike up the nerve to enter the medical tent and ask her out to the nearest town for a drink and a dance. But Bucky had uncanny timing. He always popped up just as she was about to answer.

“Now, a pretty face like that shouldn’t look so angry.” A voice sounded in her ear. A startled gasp escaped her and her hands fumbled the tools she had been organizing. Bucky caught a pair of forceps before they could hit the floor.

“James! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She admonished him with a firm smack on the shoulder. He chuckled and rubbed the sore spot.

“Ow, careful there, doll. Gonna take my arm off with that strength.”

“Oh please, it’ll take a lot more than that to get rid of you.” She spun out of his reach when he tried to grab her arm. A small smile graced her lips as she made a final spin to face him. “Did you need something, Bucky?”

“What, I can’t come see my best girl just because I want to?

 “I know your troop is supposed to be running the course right now, so no you can’t just come see me because you want to,” she said while gesturing for him to sit on the cot in the corner or her station. “Now, what mess did you get yourself into to be sent here?”

“You know me so well, Darlin’,” he whispered wistfully, smiling up at her with those big blues. He wore a dopey smile as he presented his cut left hand. She pursed her lips and tried to fight the blush rising to her cheeks. Damn him.

Stepping closer, she took his calloused hand into her softer one and observed the cut. It wasn’t too deep but still needed to be cleaned and dressed.

“What happened?” She remained in between his legs as she prepped some alcohol and gauze. His right hand toyed with the fabric of her skirt. With a narrowed look, she smacked the back of it.

“Just a climbing exercise; a nail was sticking out of the wall and caught my hand.” His voice was hushed as she worked. She hummed and began cleaning the wound. He hissed and jerked his hand back. With eyes rolling, the nurse grabbed his hand more firmly.

“You big baby.”

“Your big baby.” She smacked his arm again.

<><>

Gunshots fired all around her, men shouting and screaming. Some in pain, some as a battle cry. But all she could think about was how gentle Bucky’s hands had been in hers. And how much she wished it was his hands on her right now.

But larger, rougher hands now tore at her. Pushing and pulling. She screamed from behind her gag and her hands strained against the restraints. Black boots kicked out at her captors as she fought like a feral cat. She twisted this way and that, anything to loosen their grip on her. But against four burly men, she didn’t stand a chance.

She guessed they had gotten tired of her struggling because a blunt weapon struck the back of her head and she fell limp to the ground.

It was cold. Colder than she had ever been. The air was damp, making the ache in her lungs worse. Blurry eyes peeled open. The room she sat in was dark, only a green-tinted light on the other side of the room illuminated the space. Its murky light cast deep shadows around the room that seemed to move. Her head lolled to the side as one shadow moved closer.

Ah, not shadows. Men. Hydra.

“Good evening, Miss Rogers.” His voice was heavily accented and polite. Nothing like what you’d imagine a torturer or murderer to sound like. “I am honored to have Captain America’s sister as my guest.”

She groaned. The gag was no longer wrapped around her mouth, but her tongue felt like lead. Thoughts struggled to focus and grasp what this man was saying.

“Such a shame, a First Lieutenant, Chief Nurse, so much promise in your future. But because of your brother, you’ll never get to meet that future. We have another one much better suited for you.”

His words floated through her mind but didn’t stick. She was a nurse… She helps people. Why was she here? There were soldiers at camp that needed her. Bucky needed her…

“..ucky…” She slurred, drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth. Her bones felt heavier than lead and her muscles were like the slop served at breakfast. The shadows at the edge of her vision danced ever closer.

“Don’t worry, my dear, you’ll forget the pain soon.”

<><> 

Bucky tore through the camp, Steve hot on his heels. His blue eyes roved over the multitude of bodies and injured, searching for that familiar head of hair. Always done up so prettily. Like last week when she was bandaging up his hand. Her nails were painted red, and her hair was twisted up into a flawless bun. Her red-painted lips smiled warmly at him. Fear gripped his heart at the idea that he would never see that smile again.

“Bucky, stop!” Steve clamped a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, forcing the Sergeant to a stop. It wouldn’t do his sister any good if they lost their heads. As much as he wanted to tear the whole world apart until his sister was safe, he knew that reckless actions could get her killed. If she wasn’t dead already…

“She’s – she’s gone, Steve. Where is she!?” Bucky spun to face Steve, his eyes wide and slightly crazed. He can’t lose her. He never got to take her on a date. Never got to hold her close and confess how deeply and fervently he love her. Bucky bit down on his lip to stop its wobble. He can’t cry, not yet. Not while there’s still a possibility she’s out there.

“I know. I know, Buck. We’ll get her back. No matter what.”

Footsteps rushed up to the pair. A soldier stopped in front of them, slightly out of breath. “A-a letter for you, sir. It-it has the hydra insignia.”

Upon reading the contents, Steve and Bucky took off to Colonel Phillips' tent. The older man sat at a desk, signing letters to the families of the deceased and missing. Steve hardly gave the man time to put his pen down before requesting a team to rescue the captured. He decided to leave out the fact that he was only doing this to get his sister back.

“I understand the heroic need to save the day, but those who have been taken prisoner are far behind enemy lines and we don’t have the manpower or resources to conduct a rescue mission.” Phillips’ response was expected, but it didn’t stop Bucky’s jaw from clenching or his hands from balling into fists.

The Colonel looked at the two young men standing in front of him. He knew exactly why they wanted to go. Only a fool would think that Captain America wouldn’t move heaven and earth for the younger Rogers. An even bigger fool wouldn’t see the lovesick look every time James Barnes was near her, or the way his gaze follows her as she walks across the base.

Phillips sighed heavily, digging through a stack of letters yet to be signed. First Lieutenant Y/N Rogers. MIA.

Steve took the letter with shaking hands. Bucky felt a tear roll down his cheek.

They were dismissed and the two trudged away. A silent look was exchanged and they agreed. They would go after her with or without permission.

<><> 

“…name… Rogers…” Chapped lips mumbled her name over and over again. A tired mind determined to hold on to herself. Don’t forget. Don’t forget. “…Y/N… Rogers…”

“Y/N?” A voice hissed.

“Y/N/N?” A different voice, closer this time.

“Steve! She’s here!” The buckles around her wrists and ankles fell off one by one. Warm, calloused hands that she dreamed about cupped her face. She groaned and willed the fog from her brain. These hands. Bucky’s hands.

“Buck…” She croaked, red lipstick smudged, and once pristine hair hanging limply around her face. His smile brightened the shadows in her vision. Steve had joined them and helped her sit up.

“Hey, doll. What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” Giving her a watery smile, he pushed the hair from her face. The cheap line earned him a weak chuckle.

“Oh, what any girl does in a place like this,” she responded. Together, the two men helped her to her feet. The room pitched suddenly, her legs giving out under her. Whatever they had given her made her legs weak.

“Guess you make me a little weak in the knees,” she joked as Bucky swept her into his arms. She tucked her head into his neck, leaning heavily into him. Steve carefully led the way out, checking around corners and taking out any enemy soldiers that they crossed paths with.

Eventually, the trio made it out of the now-burning building. A mass of freed soldiers met them and together the company fought their way back to their camp. Bucky cradled her close to his chest the entire time. He stuck close to Steve, letting him take the punches. Steve didn’t mind.

For almost two weeks she was laid up in a cot in the medical tent. It was strange, in the years that she had been an army nurse, she had been the one giving care. She had never been the patient. And the patient of her subordinates, no less.

Her closer friends teased her that she was a horrible patient. Their teasing helped ease the residual anxiety and adrenaline from her ordeal. But what had really helped, was Bucky’s constant presence. During meal time and recreation time, he would come to visit her in the medical tent. Steve would drop by as well, but it was mostly Bucky.

As the days passed, Bucky seemed more and more nervous, however. Like he had something to say, just on the tip of his tongue. Sometimes, when he maybe thought she wasn’t looking, she caught him looking guilty. She hoped beyond hope that he didn’t blame himself for what had happened.

“You’re cleared to return to light duty, First Lieutenant,” Second Lieutenant Fredricks said with a smile.

The first few days of light duty were spent organizing and assisting. Then after a week, she was cleared to begin training again. Nurses didn’t necessarily need to do the drills the men did, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t. She also preferred to stay in shape and to keep her skills from going rusty.

Growing up with her brother being bullied, Y/N learned how to defend not only herself but Steve, as well. The elder Rogers sibling didn’t care for her fighting but he did appreciate that in a pinch, she could defend herself.

In the early morning, dressed in a pair of trousers and a simple shirt, Y/N makes her way to the track. A run should be light enough.

She could make out the tall frames of Steve and Bucky amongst the other men getting ready for their morning run. Bucky smiled as she approached.

“Hey, how’s it going? You sure you’re okay to be running?” Bucky brushed his hand over hers when she stopped in front of him. The touch made her stomach flutter but she smiled confidently at him.

“Actually, I’ve never felt better. I’m tired of being cooped up in the med tent for so long.” She bent to tighten her boots’ laces. Bucky shrugged and patted her shoulder, teasingly telling her to not fall behind. She scoffed and took off after the troops in a light jog.

Steve and Bucky kept pace with her, both worrying she might become too tired and collapse. Their hovering and not-so-subtle glances did not go unnoticed by her. Irritation settled quickly in her bones. She wasn’t some fragile flower. Just because something bad happened to her doesn’t mean she going to break at any moment.

Spurred by anger, her legs moved faster on their own accord. Steve glanced at his best friend as they sped up to match. Soon, the three of them were overtaking the other troops. Bucky was breathing heavily as they passed the frontman, now in a full sprint.

“W-wait!” He panted as the two Rogers siblings were now racing down the path. How was she running that fast!? How wasn’t she tired? Her smaller frame broke past Steve, who was now struggling to keep up.

The younger Rogers didn’t even notice the concerned and shocked looks she was receiving. The wind rushing in her ears and the trees blurring in her vision was all she could focus on. She felt like she was flying; her feet barely touching the ground. She felt free.

She burst into the clearing at the end of their running trail, the morning sun warming her wind-chilled skin. The grass kicked up as she skidded to a halt. A laugh erupted from her, her head light with adrenaline and awe. Then reality sunk in.

Bucky and Steve broke through the tree line a few minutes later.

“Y/N!”

She turned to look at them, her brows scrunched together and lips forming a thin line.

“They did this to me…” She murmured, gazing turning down at her clenched fists. She had thought she was feeling so good because she survived Hydra’s torment. How quickly this revelation brought her down. They poked and prodded, injected, and dissected. They had changed her.

“Doll?” Bucky approached her slowly, hands out in front of him. Seeing her lip wobble had his heart shattering in him. Throwing caution to the wind, he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, drowning her sobs in the rough fabric of his shirt. Her brother stood beside them, rubbing his hand over her shoulders.

“I’ve got ya, sweets. I got ya,” Bucky muttered into her hair. “We’re gonna figure this out. It’ll be okay.”

Lord, he hoped he was telling the truth.

<><> 

Months went by as she adjusted to her new abilities. After she discovered her inhuman speed, she quickly learned she was inhumanly strong. Not as strong as her brother, but definitely stronger than any other man in the camp.

She began training with the men, easily laying anyone flat during sparring. Even Steve struggled against her. While he surpassed her in strength, she made it up in speed and agility. She had been given the moniker of Lady Liberty once the higher-ups found out.

But despite the usefulness of these abilities. She couldn’t help but feel violated. Every night she woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of their cold instruments and icy laughter. More than once she ended up in the clearing from months before.

Each time she made it out there, Bucky wasn’t far behind. He held her as he had back then, whispering comforting words and stroking her hair. This night began no differently than the others. They sat in the middle of the clearing, the half-moon illuminated above their heads.

“I’m sorry, Bucky… You don’t have to come out here with me every night.” She sniffled, wiping her tears from her cheeks. She was settled in between his stretched-out legs, her own draped over one of his thighs. He shook his head and sighed.

“I don’t mind, Doll. Really.” Soft lips pressed against her temple. “Unless you tell me to go, I won’t leave your side. I can’t.”

Shining eyes looked up into his baby blues. She had never felt so safe and protected as she did in Bucky’s arms. Even though she could easily kick his butt in a fight, she knew he would fight tooth and nail for her. And she would burn down the world for him.

There was no doubt in her mind as she pressed her lips to his. He sighed against her as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer by the waist. Everything clicked into place with this kiss. They had been dancing around this thing between them for years, neither willing to take the leap and possibly lose what they already had.

But the feeling of her lips on his, the taste of her on his tongue had him bitterly regretting not doing this sooner. How many kisses could they have had? How many dates and late nights have they missed? He sure had a lot of time to make up.

“I love you, Y/N.” His breath fanned across the skin of her neck as his kiss-swollen lips brushed along it.

“I love you, James.”

<><> 

Over the next two years, the Howling Commandos slowly but surely made their way through the Hydra bases. First Lieutenant Rogers led alongside her brother, Captain Rogers. Not only as extra muscle, but as a nurse, and occasionally, spy. Bucky didn’t like the idea of his girl being ogled by slimy nazi men, but she convinced him that no one would expect a woman to be a super soldier.

She would infiltrate their meetings as a piece of eye candy, acquiring information as needed and then arresting the men as she saw fit.

But this particular mission didn’t require revealing dresses or sultry makeup. Rather, she wore a winter coat and combat boot with reinforced soles. The speed that she ran quickly ate through nearly all of her shoes.

The Commandos were all situated on a cliff overlooking another with a set of train tracks. They were waiting on the train carrying Doctor Zola. Glove-covered hands clenched at her side. Doctor Zola. One of the men who had turned her into this. Turned her into a weapon.

Bucky’s heavy hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her to his side. His soft lips brushed against her temple.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he reassured. “We go in, kick some ass, and then get out. Easy.”

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to his waiting lips. The other men had the decency to look away from the couple.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s get a move on.” Steve’s voice called out from the edge of the cliff.

She scoffed at her brother and kissed her sergeant once more. “See you on the other side, tiger.”

<><> 

Things were going south very quickly. Hydra had more gun power than she had thought. A huge man with bigger guns than himself stood in the doorway to their car. His guns glowed blue as they powered up.

Steve shoved both his sister and Bucky behind him, holding up his shield. The blast had her teeth rattling in her skull, her body flying back further than the boys. The impact of her head hitting the metal floor caused stars to dance in her vision.

She could barely comprehend the cold rush of air from the massive hole in the side of the train. And before she could gather herself, the man was priming another shot, pointed directly at her. Shaking legs tried to bare her weight as she scrambled for her gun.

Bucky had gathered himself faster than her or her brother, so she could only watch as he picked up Steve’s shield and fired a few shots at the enemy. A scream ripped from her throat when blue light shot out at her sergeant.

Bucky went flying, the shield in the other direction. Both the Rogers siblings jumped into action. Steve went for the shield, quickly taking out the other man. She leaped for the hole in the wall of the train that Bucky had flown out of.

Her eyes widened with horror as she gazed upon the man she loved, hanging on for dear life to the crumbling handrails.

“Bucky! Hold on!” She reached out to him, trying to find her footing to get to him and pull him to safety. The look in his eyes was one she had never seen on him before. Blue eyes wide with fear, his mouth poised in a silent scream. And as his fingers brushed against hers, tips barely able to curl around each other, he was gone.

His scream was joined by hers. The image of him falling to his death will forever be ingrained in her mind. It’ll be the last thing on her mind as she goes to sleep and the first one when she wakes up. It’ll be there when she fights her way through Hydra soldiers, and as she sends her fist straight into Johann Schmidt’s ugly, red face.

Steve worried about his sister’s mental health since that day. She had retreated into herself. Long gone was the witty and strong woman he knew. His sister, who had always been so bright, had been replaced by someone who only knew how to fight.

She only spoke to give orders or to communicate during battle. Her words were always clipped and to the point; no room for banter or sarcasm. The icy wall she had built around herself was all to conceal the torment her mind tortured her with.

If only she had been stronger, maybe she wouldn’t have been down for so long. If she had been faster, she could have reached him before he fell. If she had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have died. Every moment was filled with these thoughts. Awake or not. It was all she could think about.

Eventually, she became too tired. She fought with everything she had; Bucky at least deserved that. She wouldn’t give up simply because it would mean he died in vain. However, with each new opponent, she could help but wish that this one would be stronger than her.

No opponent was ever stronger than her. Until now.

It wasn’t a person that she now faced her death with. But a plane filled with explosives. Schmidt was gone, as was the Tesseract. Now, she and her brother faced the cracked windows of the plane. She tried to keep her lip from trembling as Steve spoke with Peggy.

Even if she hadn’t gotten her happy ending, she had wished her big brother would have gotten his. Tear-filled eyes opened when she felt a hand come to rest on hers. Steve’s face was solemn as he spoke.

“I’ve gotta put it in the water.” He was half telling Peggy and half asking for permission from his sister. It wasn’t just his life going down for millions of others, but his little sister’s, too. The siblings shared a weighty look before she nodded.

Lady Liberty listened quietly as Captain America spoke with Agent Carter. No.

Y/N listened brokenheartedly as her big brother said his goodbyes to the woman he loved and who loved him in return.

And as Steve redirected the plane to the icy terrain below, she closed her eyes and imagined the warm hands of her love. His blue fire eyes and easy grin. The feel of his lips against hers. The sound of her name on his tongue.

I’m coming, Bucky.

[march-of-the-moths]

periodic-table-yaoi -> march-of-the-moths

HI !! HELLO !!!!!! ☆

hi :}

name’s Aster

he/it/they/pix

17 years old (feb 7)

transmasc genderfaun, gay aceflux, objectum-ish

en + fr ; french (Sorry) + caribbean (vincentian !) and Miscellanous European Slop in there

audhd synesthesia and Many other such things. you may find out. Either way there’s crazyyy shit going on in there

moth therian ! pink snout moth specifically but anything pink fits the bill. starkin as well

i sign a lot of my art as ‘chemicalfuzzy’ because that’s what I go by nearly everywhere else. that’s me I swearsies !

ABNORMAL . IN THE HEAD .

more cool stuff below ^_^

✦ — obligatory List of Things I’m Normal About

misc ✧

the periodic table (SEE URL…) (also anything relating to chemistry & nuclear physics)

MY OCs 👍 I LOVE THEM 👍

MY FRIEND’S OCs !!!! I LOVE THEM TOO !!

music. Which is why it gets its own section below lol

space !! mostly stars !!

BUGS !!!!

music ✧

radiohead

nine inch nails

massive attack

will wood

femtanyl

black midi

car seat headrest

machine girl

jack stauber

THERE’S A WHOOOLE LOT MORE. IF I PUT EVERYTHING IT’S GONNA LOOK VERY GOOFY really the first 2-3 are what you Seriously really need to worry about. Also please do send recs I love music recs pretty please I #love expanding my music taste. I’m an album freak and physical media hoarder also that’s important to know

media ✧ (a lot of these especially are kinda old & dusty, but I still love them. Or they won’t let me go)

rain world

pokémon

object shows

deltarune

the smurfs. No seriously

cookie run

kirby

✦ — extra things to know

this is a reblog heavy place !! I don’t make a lot of original posts, if any, at least at the moment. that may change idk I’m very shy. feel free to ask me stuff though !

no proshippers/terfs/zionists that’s as specific as my "DNI" will get. for the rest just be niceys

mutuals can ask me for my discord if you guys wanna… smiles so sweetly

I usually tag anything I reblog about often enough. if you’re a mutual & need something filtered do ask me

if you sent me an ask or reached out to me in Any way and I didn’t respond I AM NOT IGNORING YOU OR MAD AT YOU OR ANYTHING….. either I was too tired/overwhelmed at the time of seeing it and kept putting it off or I just didn’t see. either way I’m very sorry !!!

I’ll build further on this post later, likely. I’m making that thang up as I go !!! At the time of writing this it is 3:18 AM !!!! I am living the life

i.,m. Silly.

✧ — seepy cosy collection

it’s ongoing . I desperately need nin cds but my local record store hates them I think

[idgivemyeyesfor-mattmurdock]

omg omg omg ok i just had the most random idea - this may be a slightly long one but

what if y/n is a teacher/nun in the church, and takes care of matt while he stays there post explosion. they get closer and eventually date, and y/n ends up pregnant. maggie argues with both of them and accidentally lets slip that she doesn't want y/n to live the same life that she did - because the murdock boys are the same

and thats how matt finds out who his mother is and y/n comforts him (awww)

sidenote: i'm just gonna stop asking anonymously lol

Part One:

hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem reader Trigger Warning: if ur allergic to fluff then back away.

A teacher. You, a teacher?

Well, who could doubt it? you weren't that religious that you'd become a nun, but a teacher was a happy medium. Actually, you had never been to a church before, but you took the job offer when St.Agnes's was offering it... but truly you had always wanted to teach.

Teaching children was the equivalent to being the change. Truth was you were tired of complaining about the world, so you decided to do something about it.

You'd been a St.Agnes's for four years now. After getting your masters in education, you decided that staying in new york was the best option. Though, once you got you're first job-- thats when DareDevil decided to start playing around.

Your parents tried getting you to go back home, but-- what good were you going to do in (y/h/t)? teach the kids you grew up with and that's it? no. Yo New York you went and stayed

You hadn't prayed until He came to the church after the explosion. though, you didn't know it was a he because nobody every dared to mention his gender.

how would it feel? being blind and having no idea where you were at. It was a terrible two in one deal not a lot of people could deal with, especially for a group of older nuns who were ached and never had a day off.

today you allowed the kids to take the day off, along with the nuns, so it would just be you helping this mystery blind person for a day so that the sisters could get a rest.

It was what? five am when you walked in.

As you opened the door, the squeak woke Matt up, and so did you're footsteps. Though, he didn't recognize your scentl or the way you're weight shifted on the floorboards. his fiery vision was practically eliminated, so all he saw was a blank sheet of paper.

Once your eyes laid on him, you noticed that he was shirtless and sweating. He hadn't shaved in weeks, and his beard was nearly an inch long.

Your heart began to race as you got closer and laid your eyes on his tensed muscles. Though, you fixated your train of thought on the fact that he was sweating and obviously confused.

"Hello?" asked Matt as you got closer.

"Hi, yes, sorry-- are you hot? you're sweating."

"...I'm aware." said Matt with annoyance, "you're not Maggie."

"No, I am not." you firmly responded as you placed the bowl of water on the night stand, "Sister Maggie is taking a fast today from serving. Since you care so much, I am pleased to tell you that she will be back tomorrow."

"Thank god." whispered Matt with a sigh, "she doesnt give me a break."

"A break? who says I'm going to give you a break" you asked as you dipped the porcelain towel into the bowl of water.

"Your not?"

"why would I?" you asked as you sat on the wooden chair by his bed.

"Blind guy, just sitting here, what would you do with me?"

"Make you recite your times tables."

"intriguing." responded Matt as his de-focused eyes attempted to find your voice,

"why do you say that?" asked Matt as he felt you place the warm cloth over his chest.

"I'm a teacher, It's my job."

"you're a teacher." said Matt

As you stopped for a second, placing the cloth back into the water you asked, "you're surprised?"

"no, not surprised, just stunned."

"Stunned is a synonym for surprised."

as she squeezed the blood out of the rag, you looked over to Matt who was enjoying the argument, "I'm not stunned, surprised or astonished. Just, you don't sound like a teacher."

"well," you said as you placed the warm cloth back on his chest, and began to run it up his neck, "when you have to teach twenty five blind sixteen-year-olds how to read braille-- you learn to pick up on the attitude."

"you're a blind teacher?" asked Matt.

"you're full of questions."

"well, you're the teacher, so I'd expect you to have the answers."

Matt heard the muscles in your cheeks stretch as you replied in a lower tone, "To answer, you're question, yes. I am a blind teacher."

"what do you do?" asked Matt as he felt you press down on an area of his neck where he had stitches, "just braille?"

"everything." you responded as you removed the cloth and placed it on the side of the night stand, "chemistry, history, math, reading, writing-- social skills. Sometimes they teach me."

"they do?" asked Matt as he heard you open the drawer that was under the nightstand.

"well, --"

"Matthew, Matthew Murdock."

"Well, Matthew, I've never been blind. So, everyday I do get reminded how it feels to be blind. Like, I'd never thought a guy would dump his girlfriend just because she couldn't look at him."

his lips pressed into a fine line as you took out a black long sleeve from his drawer, you said, "I also get taught how some people are happy they can't see. I get to know the pleasure of somebody saying that they are happy they never have to see the face of their algebra 2 teacher again."

"i agree with that one." responded Matt with a laugh, "so," asked Matt as he heard you unfold the long sleeve, "what have I taught you teach?"

nicknames already?

"that you're not so different then my students."

[enigmaticdiary]

i am rewatching episode 1 for rewind the tape :) I've seen the pilot probably around 20 times at this point but I've only watched it by myself.... once! so for the first time since my first time watching it alone, im gonna do it again with a head full of knowledge of the iwtv book and the full season. and im turning off captions so it's less reading and more watching and close observing for me >:D

Below is a liveblog!

WARNING: I FUCKING LOVE TO TALK AND POINT OUT USELESS THINGS ON EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. THIS POST IS GOING TO BE A MILE LONG. Also im still not great at putting my thoughts together.

hmm. I would read molloys book on kaposi sarcoma and hiv/aids. i love how well the fake book covers and this advert are put together because so many times I've been asked by friends who i showed the show to if it was an actual commercial LOL.

THE PIC ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK GOING FROM LUKE TO JUST AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF YOUNG ERIC BOGOSIAN? LMFAO. The casting is genuinely so perfect in this show. hehe i like how well the passage of time is depicted through the book covers too, not just in. the photos for daniel obviously but for the aesthetic styles of the covers. the cover they made for "the internets gavel" is sooo mid 2000s. I love the attention to detail for these things on screen for less than a second because it gives a fool like me something to look at and praise simply because the detail wasn't overlooked.

"hate and ashbury" man this is such a good title too. simply because im looking at it and sifting out details it's such a good way to get even more insight into molloy's character. while I don't need to get into a history lecture of haight-ashbury, it tells a lot because it was a historically hippie neighborhood in the 1960s and the birthplace of the counterculture movement, it says a lot for molloy especially seeing the previous three fictional books he wrote about, being hiv/aids crisis, the politics of climate change in the United states, the governments attempts at putting stricter regulation on the internet... I could get into how this connects with molloy's character more in relation to his desire for vampirism but i am barely over a minute in and I've been typing for 15 minutes now!!!

"Preparing For An Interview" NO WAY. GUYS!

No no no i will not pause every 10 seconds and try to connect the thematic dots of everything being presented to me. I need to save that for the video essay im writing!

louis' beautiful handwriting❤️

i dont know why daniels scrunched up face is so fucking funny to me.

Jesus okay watching this without captions is actually really difficult for me i see why i need them all at all times. If im not rewinding because i keep fucking pausing im rewinding because I didn't understand a fucking word i just heard. Despite seeing the episode 20 times.

Hmm.. What personally redemptive accomplishments could louis be referring to..?

UUGGGHHHHHHJJJJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHFHHHH sorry Louis on screen and i started tearing up. Hello armand goodbye armand.

Yah.

Do you think louis goes on twitter sometimes.

Yah?

COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis has changed... The only big change he's mentioned between Interview 1 and now that I can recall off the top of my head is that he stopped killing in 2000. I wonder why? I wonder many things

Truth and reconciliation....

Armand being concerned with daniels editor seeing/hearing what was said. I am vaguely aware of the theory that armand has possibly been up to mindfuckery with both louis and Daniel and i can only wonder if this has been mentioned to buoy that theory. To control the narrative.? Hmm... but why?

I know Daniel was annoyed by louis calling him "boy" but i think it's kind of cute. Even with nearly 50 years passing by, the old human is still young to the vampire who has lived going on twice his lifetimes. I am not 10 minutes in and I have been typing for 40 minutes!

FUUUUUUCK sorry. louis

I have no commentary on louis introducing. LESTAT. sorry, not him. On louis introducing new orleans and his the place he inhabited in it. I think its pretty self explanatory and explicit, yeah?

BRICKS❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my god the fucking "Oh—goddamn." upon seeing fenwicks diarrhea dick is Ao fucking funny. Louis acting like he would actually have a problem seein a dick or too. Probably would have a problem seeing fenwicks tho (unshitted on). I don't disagree there. Maybe the poop camo is for the best....

Yiu can't be saying that racist jake the dog

Id stick my finger in fenwicks wound and see how deep itd go.

Hi paul

The lord told me to cum. Sorry im 5 years old

Paul punching louis is genuinely so fucking. LESTAT AND HIS FUCKING GOOFY ASS HAT OH MY GOD!!. Sorry. Paul punching Louis was so fucking funny to me because I know that if they were not on that street and were at home or something they would be SLUGGING each other until grace has to pull them apart. Then hug it out :) Idk is this how siblings work im pretty much an only child

I keep having to google words help. HELP. NOT ME HAVING LOOKED UP "PULPIT" ALREADY AND APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FORGETTING WHAT IT MEANS.

Immediately another word I have to google. Im not gonna say I'm stupid for not knowing these words, i did not grow up with the church as closely as others...

i do think a lot about the pointe du lac household before their father died. like. A lot. Theres so much in that brief interaction mentioning him. The sugar cane, the hospital, the Diversion.

Ill never forget the first time i rewatched this ep After learning about the mayfair witches and seeing this scene and being like: GASP! OH MY GOD! ANNE RICE REFERENCE! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

Paul is so fucking funny like the shade he's constantly throwing, please take a break LMFAO

hng. (louis)

Googling words again. Hmmm the internalized homophobia yes yes i see. Sorry need to google another fucking word. Oh. oh louis...... Ok I can see how my mom picked up on louis being gay so fast. I am a smart boy but my vocabulary is pathetically limited so "big" words going over my head made what should've been pretty obvious be absolutely indecipherable to me. Sorry for being stupid (im not)

I am 17 minutes in and I have been watching and typing for an hour!

Louis: everyone in here is white so its easy to pick out who's gonna call me a nigger to my face and whos gonna do it behind my back

Sir..... Mister....

Hes here

Microaggression 1

TWO.

THREE.

FOUR?

LESTAT CONTINUOUSLY HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS

His hair looks like shit

IM. GOING TO KILL HIM. Dont worry louis get behind me.

YOU GONNA FALL VICTIM TO THIS MAN WHOSE HAIR GOT CAUGHT UNDER THE IRON?

Oh my god Leswirl de lioncourt PLEASE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS. Actually started growling out loud and said "Shut rhr fuck up, oh mt God.!!!"

IVE EMPTIED A BANK VAULT SAMPLING. S. AJSHKSKSJZMSMS PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GKD. PLEASW. ISNSSMJAKSNSMSJAJZMSUAUBZNZ

Lestat put your ears away, please.

Me, watching this for the first time at the age of 20: Is this gay...? No... it can't be. They would put gay in a show...? For real? (in denial and scared of being queerbaited despite the most explicit homosexual overtext)

MISS CARROLL THEYRE HAVING A DICK MEASURING COMPETITION.!!!!!!!

Unfortunately lestat did kind of serve there but throwing his dick down on the table embarrassing louis like that in front of miss carroll and lily was evil and racist somehow And he should be sentenced to 40 good slams in thr head with a brick

If paul didn't punch louis none of this would be happening

Lestat: God i love to troll

Who the devil you say.? Well...

Oh lord louis' face card sorry didn't mean to moan like that. I saw a maj so beautiful I threw up evrrywhere

Hmm. The racism

FUUUUUUCK LOUIS IS SO CUTE I NEED TO KILL MYSELF!

Lestat needs to put his ears AWAY he looks so bad with his hair that short.

What IS this insane time freezing trick lestat is doing? God when im actually giving myself a chance to really absorb myself in the show that scene is actually pretty fucking scary LOL

I NEED TO DIE I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHIOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEADA

Lord have mercy the sheer SEX in his eyes as he looks at louis' neck. I nedd to die

Paul..... I need to kill myself for emotional reasons not related to loustat

Egypt reference! Wow! Gabrielle allusion ! "The means to make my way to paris" Ok well what if i

I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AT HOW HARD I LAUGH AT PAULS SCENES. steven norfleet does such an amazing job in this role.

SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!! B

Hooray! The scene that changed me literally Forever. Whatever, man.

Ykung violinist

lily and lestat circling louis like two lions descending on a zebra.

I had a dream about this scene once. I will not br elaborating.

Dude.

GUYS. SEX IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Guys.

God thid is so fucking crazy

Unfortunately this part does make me giggle especially having to see these two men floating naked and seeing sams fat ass Im about to start crying again

I wish vampires were real

Insert joe biden yelling faggot I don't have it on hand and i don't want to pause for 20 minutes to find it

MY FAVORITE SCENE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAUL AND LOUIS TAPDSNCING SO CUTE AARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The fact that thus scenr eas really all them, being jacob and steven, its so awesome.

WHEN THE BLACK JOY! And then thr Black suffering. Ok guys 21st time is a charm Im praying really hard I THINK I CAN STOP PAUL FROM JUMPING THIS TIME!

This is one of those scenes that really seperates black viewers from nonblack viewers because the way some of my nonblack friends have reacted to florence blaming louis has made me so insanely embarrassed.... I don't know how to explain it. But the shame from a black parent... especially the mother. I don't know. It breaks you in a different way than anything else. Theres a lot of nuance I want to say but I don't have the time or brainpower or expertise to word it properly so please just take my emotional response to this scene at face value.

sorry but lestat just openly asking during the funeral service where they got pauls coffin from is CRAZY.

Breaking finns arm was also crazy as fuck. Like would hs have done that if louis didn't get angry as fuck at him just then. Unfortunately knowing lestats character now seeing louis get mad like that probably made him hard as fuck and thr only way he can deal with it in the moment is to break that mans arm. Sorry I love how ar the beginning of this post i was like super into the nitty gritty and the details bjt then it just turned into me making fun of lestat and how hard he definitely was in like every single scene he was in

God. the pain.

Killing lily was in fact extremely racist and misogynistic of lestat. He should be stabbed many times for this

God.

Ok scene two that permanently changed me

Sorry to that poor stunt double that got knocked out then.

What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. Unfortunately one of the hardest lines ever

No commentary. Hard to say things about this scene cause its just so good, man.

Oh my poor ashy grey blood deprived louis

Watching this scene with headphones on is crazy

GOD. GUYS. I LOVE SHOW. DID YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE SHOW???!!?? Pack it up guys This is one of the best pilots in tv history

To wrap up this post, it took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the first episode. I spent twice as long watching it BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCKING YAP!

[leiawritesstories]

Stick Season (Prologue)

hey everyone! this is the introduction to a fic that I'm planning to post for Rowaelin Month! it got really out of hand lol so I'm splitting it into a few parts. inspired by "Stick Season" by Noah Kahan. hope you enjoy! :))

Word count: 757

Warnings: none ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three years ago

Aelin had to force herself to keep ahold of the steering wheel even as laughter-tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. “Gods, Ro, I’m driving! You’re gonna make me pee myself!” 

“I’ll be doing much more than that, Fireheart,” her boyfriend purred, his demeanor switching from hilarity to sultry promise in the blink of an eye. Though he was on the other end of the phone and she couldn’t actually see him, Aelin could picture the precise tilt of his wicked grin, the precise gleam of the spark in his deep pine eyes. 

“You’re incorrigible.” She caught her breath, firmly focusing on the highway. “I’m nearly there, buzzard. You shouldn’t have any problems keeping it in your pants for another twenty minutes, hmm?” 

His soft groan rumbled through her phone. “You could make it in fifteen minutes if you speed.” 

She snorted. “It’s December, Ro, and I’ve lived in Vermont all my life. I’m not stupid enough to try and speed on winter roads.” 

“Yeah.” He inhaled softly, about to say something else, when another incoming call buzzed across Aelin’s screen. 

“Shit,” she swore. “Ro, it’s my mom, I have to take this. I’ll call you back in a few minutes, I promise. Love you.” 

“Love you,” he returned, affectionately. 

She hung up and accepted her mom’s call. “Hi.” 

“Darling.” Evalin Ashryver’s refined accent filled the front of Aelin’s car. “You must be nearly home by now, yes?” 

“Yes, I’m about twelve minutes away from Rowan’s exit.” She glanced at the nearest exit sign. “I’m going to swing by his house for a few minutes before I–”

“You’re going to your boyfriend’s house before your own home?” Evalin didn’t even try to hide her disapproval. 

“I promise it will only be a quick stop to say hello and reassure Rowan that I haven’t died.” In return to her mother’s disdain, Aelin made no effort to muffle her sarcasm. 

“Watch your tone, young lady.” Evalin’s voice was as frosty as the December temperature. “I would be lying if I said I don’t mind you putting your own family second.” Without waiting for a response, she sniffed. “Hopefully we’ll see you by dinnertime, Aelin.”

Guilt wrapped its oily, barbed tendrils around Aelin’s heart and squeezed, sending flashes of thick, ugly emotion through her body. She gripped tightly to her composure, took a few deep breaths, and redialed Rowan. 

He picked up on the first ring. “That was quick.” 

“You know how Mom is,” Aelin joked. “She’s never seen a conversation she can’t cut short.” 

Rowan coughed out a laugh. “She wants you to go home first, doesn’t she?” 

“Yeah.” Aelin sighed. “Honestly, I don’t understand her phobia; she knows full well that I mean it when I say I’m just stopping for a few minutes.” Silence fell for a moment. “You know you mean more than anything to me, Ro. More than all the distance between our houses.” 

“Yeah, all ten miles,” he chuckled. “You must be just about at the exit now, right?” 

She glanced out the window. “Mhmm, it’s coming up in a couple minutes, and…” Her voice trailed off, drowned out by the discordant echo of her mother’s words. You put your own family second. Disappointing. Selfish.We hardly even see you, Aelin.

Rowan’s exit approached, the familiar numbers tugging on every string of Aelin’s heart. Tears fogged up her vision, but she blinked them away despite her throat constricting again. 

“Fireheart?” Rowan’s voice was so warm, so familiar, so concerned. “Are you still there?” 

A sob clawed its way out of her throat. “I’m…I’m so sorry,” she croaked. Her weak, traitorous voice cracked on the last syllable. Blindly, she reached over and ended the call, cutting Rowan off before he’d even formed coherent words. 

She drove past his exit, only daring to look into her rearview mirror when she was far enough past the sign that the numbers were barely visible, and watched the sign fade away. Through the hazy, conflicted mess of heartbreak, anguish, guilt, and tears clouding her senses, Aelin let muscle memory take over and guide her off the freeway at the next exit and drive down another country road until she was back in her charming little hometown. 

She hadn’t seen Rowan waiting in his battered old green pickup in the shoulder of his exit, eyes locked on the highway, phone still glued to his ear, staring in heartbroken disbelief as the woman he loved so deeply drove straight past him without a single look back.

~~~

TAGS: let me know if you want to be tagged!

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@chronicchthonic14

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello, dear!!!

Right now, I have read all the old johnlock fanfictions, so, I want some good 2023 johnlock fanfictions, or 2024.

Kisses from me❤️😘

Hey Nonny!

My lists are USUALLY only fics I've personally read, which is why my lists gained popularity in the first place so unfortunately I'm a bit behind on newer fics, so I know that people are unhappy with my lists because of that. I am sorry.

BUT, WEEKLY for nearly 5 years, I do my Five Fics Friday posts which, for the majority of them, ARE new fics recently recced to me, and a large part of them are newly-written, so the best I can do on a personal level without too much work; another suggestion is to check my lists with "(MFL)" appended on them, which are mostly fics I've never read or recced before, so some people like them over the ones that made my lists what they are, LOL.

AND sometimes if you guys make a suggestion for fics, I'll peruse my MFL and WiP lists and strictly post those instead by tag-searching them.

All in all, it's just a LOT of work for me to compile ALL my WiPs I currently have on my MFL list (there's over 100 of them) and generally I don't make WiP lists since they will inevitably become obsolete as a list 🙃

ANYWAY, that said, your request is pretty broad, and one that can be filtered using AO3 Filters by selecting "newest first" LOL. Sorry Nonny!!!! If, however, you have a specific topic or "brand" you're looking for, THEN that's where I'll take time out to make a list because I'll be able to keyword search my MFL list for specific stories for you! So PLEASE don't hesitate to make a specific request... I'm actually need some new requests because I am out of Sunday lists LOL.

AND FINALLY, if anyone has a new fic they're currently writing or recently finished and they want to recommend them here, PLEASE do so I can add them to my offline list for future posts!! 💜🖤

Sorry I'm not much help otherwise Nonny, but I hope you do find SOME stuff you'll enjoy on my 5FF Posts (Masterlist is on Page 1 of my Index Post)

*HUGS* Cheers, Nonny!

[chnldivr]

Omicron Complex

Hello, I wanted to post this so people can find this in nearly every location possible, please share. (...I know this may seem like a very odd post to y'all hypno lullaby fans but I helped find this so I'm sorry for the out of place post LOL)

This was previously lost media in the Halley Labs/Lapfox Trax/Vulpvibe community. The owner of the CD reached out to me and uploaded it, and I took the time to organize it, upload it, & put it on the wiki as a download.

So here it is, the 15 years in the waiting, Omicron Complex CD rip in WAV & MP3.

Here's a youtube link for the mobile users who wanna listen to it. :b

Here also, is a note Vix (the owner of the CD) wrote for all of y'all to read.

"This is the CD rip of Omicron Complex. This CD was originally bought on Cafepress for about $10 in June of 2008.

--> I bought Omicron Complex, I Prefer The Sky, and an "Eat Me" shirt all from Cafepress. I still own all of them. All of the above items were bought with my first paycheck ever totalling to about $35. It was the whole 2 week paycheck and I spent it on Vulpvibe Records. These items are VERY sentimental. I still remember the first time listening to all of the tracks in my mom's truck going to a fair. Mom was not a fan. (lol)

I initially was going to release everything in 2009 when I uploaded the initial videos, but I had multiple people requesting I download X and Y software for higher and higher quality rips. It just seemed they were not in it for the music.

I became an evil villain for years. Way too many years.

Recently I found an arcade dumper that had a piece of hardware I used to own. They are refusing to dump it. Saying they will dump it in 10 years to never. It put me into perspective that this is just me with this CD. I didn't create this music, but I did pay for it and don't have to share it. Similar to this arcade dumper. However, there are furries that like Vulpvibe and later eras as much as I did that were out of the loop or too young to buy this music. Why punish them for liking this great music?

Renard shaped my childhood. Introducing me to all of the music in Mungyodance, the music making process, using samples, identifying samples... (I recommended the ShaLaLa Vengaboy sample in "Go to the Party". Staying up to 3a-4a on Youtube pays off. <3). Mungyodance 1&2 was in an ITG2 cabinet I went to as a kid and introduced me to Fur Affinity & FURRIES through Renard's FA account. Literally Renard completely changed my life. I am still a HUGE fan of Mungyodance 15 years after its death.

Keeping this CD "lost" meant that people were still interested in the era that meant so much in my life. It's really immature of me to think that way, but here we are 15 years after release.

I apologize to everyone including Renard/Emma. Here is the release. Better late than never.

Just promise me that you will remember the old stuff and play a game of Mungyodance.

-Vix"

[sometimesanalice]

Hello, Alexa!☺️

How are you?

A bit of a random Q, but! I remember you saying that the first fanfic you wrote

was ‘Oh Christmas Tree' and I was just wondering if there was any other fandoms

you ever thought about writing for? Even if you don’t want to publish them! :) An even more general question, what other fandoms would you say you're into?

I know it's a little random, but I just love hearing about other people's interests/loves! 🥰

(I’m sorry if you’ve answered these in some way before)

Have a lovely weekend!

Hi Bo!! 🌟 I'm so good! I'm having the best afternoon with some coffee and a treat from Trader Joe's and working on a fluffy oneshot! I hope you're doing well! I love seeing you pop in my inbox!

The call of Bradley with a pine tree allergy and getting his best girl a fluffy pink one was too strong for me to resist! It was such a new thing for me that I wrote the whole thing on the notes app on my phone, it didn't even cross my mind to open a word doc for it, lol.

It's such a funny thing that for the years and years that I've jotted down ideas and dialogue that I never once thought of actually sitting down and trying my hand at writing fanfic until last year!

More for you under the cut!

My first foray into fandom and fanfic was when I was a nugget out there wilding on fanfic.net and shipping Clark/Lana from Smallville and Padme/Anakin from Star Wars. (back when I didn't even know what shipping meant, lol)

In college, I didn't have much time to read books because of all the school work, so I turned to fanfic again and got really into The Hunger Games. Dandelion Peeta had my heart, and all the modern AUs really softened the dystopian angst. That fandom had so many truly terrific writers, ones that I still follow even today.

Which is how I ended up becoming a big The 100 girlie. Some of my favorite THG authors started posting and writing for a couple of the main characters on that show and I was hooked. (it's been a lot of fun to learn that some of my fav TGM babes were also the 100 babes, so we've trauma bonded over it, haha)

And let me tell you, I need to be financially COMPENSATED by the CW for the chokehold this man had on me for like 5 years. (the hair! the gravely voice! the chin dimple! the biceps! the grumpy king with a heart of gold!)

If I was going to write for another fandom, it would be that one. Bellarke (bellamy blake and clarke griffin) still has my heart. At the height of it, I was spending hours every day reading fic for them. The chemistry between them was bananas and every week I was waiting on baited breath for any little interaction between them. It's funny now because the actors are actually married now, haha! The show gave us crumbs and went out with such a tragic whimper, but the fandom and the incredible talent there is probably why I was so invested and still read fics about them on AO3.

When I reread my favorite series The Winners Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski I fall DEEP into an Arin/Kestrel spiral. It's such an underrated YA series that I'm pretty sure I've read every piece of fanfiction that's out there (which isn't nearly enough) at least 5 times.

There was a brief Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen GOT era, but it was short lived.

I also like the Darkling/Alina dynamic from Shadow and Bone. I read the series when the books first came out before the show, and wasn't particularly enamored with them as a couple. But then they had to go and cast the pretty bearded attention whore that is Ben Barnes and I had simply no choice but to ship, lol.

I always joke and say that I don't pick the hyperfixations, that they choose me. But it's really true. The 100 ended in 2020 and I didn't have anything really capture my attention in the same way until TGM. This is the first fandom that I've really participated in, like getting to know other people and creating content! And it's been so wonderful!

Oof! Well, this got out of control quickly, lol. This was such a fun ask to get! I haven't been asked before, so I really went off the deep end here giving you my full life fandom history, haha!

[pack-the-pack]

Going though your blog and answers has me ✨ fascinated ✨ and I mean that in the most positive of ways. ABO is a hit or miss because it frequently intersects with my scent kink but only in the most specific of ways lol. (It has also been rotting my brains in trying to come up with different hcs lately so thank you for satisfying that scratch)

Originally came here from your slur list which I'm Obsessed with because mundane world building (mundane as in every day, I very much love it XD) so going through it was such a treat.

And now having spent almost an hour scrolling, I can confidently say that I love your blog ~

(I'm also on your 'give chan all the love he deserves' boat and currently Going through it trying to find good fics XD. If you have any recs I would be forever grateful <3)

Food for thought: I know most head cannons around abo stay relatively away from deviation aside from personality (going off fanfics, I haven't explored blogs that much, a travesty I'm now realizing), but knowing that in humans neither sex nor gender is binary in any way has me wondering what those deviations might look like in an abo setting. What would intersex look like in this setting? Pheromones are pretty obvious, certain scents being correlated with certain presentations, but the potency could also bring up insecurity (going off your beta having weaker scents hc). Glands could be missing or placed differently (is the scent kink obvious lol) but seeing as they're important for communication, that could be an interesting take on ostracization as the "inept" one. I won't get too far into the surgery done to irl intersex folk because this is fun fantasy, but it's another aspect to explore.

All to say, I'm just fascinated with the evolution and the "how we got here" side of abo and all the ramifications that come with it lol.

Hope you have a good day! You've made mine with a new blog to explore -w-

Hello!

So sorry, for taking so long to answer. I've been neglecting my asks a lot, there's nearly 100 of them, and I know I'll never get them down to a reasonable number. Oop :V But slowly I'll get through SOME hahahaha. First things first: I'm incredibly grateful for all the kind words. I know I've slowly got less and less time over the years to dedicete to this blog, But I still try to come by whenever I have some time to spare. And to know that there are people out there that really enjoy what I write and create is very heart-warming. Ah yes, the infamous slurs post. The A/B/O magnet that curses my notifications lol. Like I said in my last post, one day people will realize this is for FICTION, and as you said, world-building, not a real thing? Antis be bafflings as always, but what else is new, ey? YES! Channie deserves so much love. I unforutetly don't have any fanfics to rec, even though I am writting one myself. But I gotta say, as I write, writing Chris' persona (because when it comes to Real People fanfiction, especially idols, I make it very clear that we're dealing with their personas as artists, not them as real people in their private lives) is surprisingly difficult. Most of all when it comes to writing him as a source of conflict. Because bloody hell, he's so sweet, I can't write him being petty or whiny belivably enough! When I do write my fanfic though and at least post ONE chapter, I'll let you know, if you want I can send you a link also. Now for the interesting part. As always, omegaverse biology! I think it'd be interesting if intersex people were like, maybe anatomically like one dynamics, but behaviourally like another. Specially on their scent. You look at this big person, and you think "there goes an Alpha", but then they just smell like sweet Omega or Beta and you're like "wait a sec--". I like the idea of different shapes and placements of glands too! That'd be quite interesting. As for the gonads and reproductive organs, technically in my verse, Alpha females and Omega males are in a way, already what one may consider intersex (at least one interpretation of it). Female alpha have a slit/vagina that acts as a sheath for their penis, which only grow upon arousal, much like cats. And at least in my verse, Omega males have a vestigial penis and testicles, that although not functional for reproduction still react to arousal and stimulus. They also have a womb accessible by their booty, which I know many people don't like, but hey, my game my rules, right? Thinking of other possible intersex presentations in a verse such as this, then one could maybe argue for functional and larger penises for "supposed" Omegas while keeping the ability to carry offspring. And for female Alphas maybe maintining the ability to carry children, like Beta females, but having a smaller, non functional penis. And also a myriad of other possibilities. Would that be enough to constitute a new dynamics? Maybe, idk actually. I think much like in real life, it'd be up to the individual to decide whether or not they want to be segregated and categorized as something other. It's certainly a fun thing to consider and build a story or some headcanons in the very least upon. Thank you for the ideas :))