#hello hell week
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dumb tma fic idea: when michael becomes the distortion it's still technically bound to the eye because his contract never ended with the institute/the eye. and he has to come in like once a week to do paperwork or he'll feel ill
#bro imagine#elias: oh michael can you organise these folders pls? thanks#*an hour later*#michael: here's your paperwork :) *sets it down on the table and it clips into the fucking underground tunnels* whoopsies. okay bye#idk i find the concept of it being extremely angry about having to do mundane office work very funny#the interactions with gertrude omg....#first week would be awkward as hell like#michael: hello gertrude :)#gertrude#who did not anticipate this:...hello michael#passive aggressively taking statements#michael: hi welcome to the magnus institute- omg hi i haven't seen you in ages! ! ! how are you! ! !#his latest victim that somehow managed to get out: What The Fuck#tma michael#tma#michael tma#michael#michael distortion#michael the distortion#tma the distortion#the distortion#idk i may be the only one who finds this funny.... idk
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bro you got a little something on your-- no it's cool bro i got it
[deets under cut because Thanks Tumblr]
#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#shadowpeach#hehe#god the ink was SO FUN SO FUN#hello im medicated now!!! results seem promising!!! things are POSSIBLE again#is it normal to just be able to DO shit without it expending like.... 1/3 of your stamina bar per task#i did dishes AND played with the dogs AND got gas AND finished this#TODAY. THAT'S A WEEK OF SHIT RIGHT THERE#WHAT THE HELL. I'M SO MAD#doodles#almost forgot the art tag#kay bye
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How You Turn My World; Chapter 4
You finally find your way into the labyrinth, coming across some new and old faces; both friendly and malicious.
Character; Lilia Vanrouge
Content; Gender-neutral reader, reader is getting tired of being stuck here and smelling like a bog
Content Warnings; Swearing, some talk of death, reader passes out
Word Count; 2.2 K
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |
As per usual, don't put my work into AI.
You were finally making some decent progress, what, with not being stuck in some bog and knowing somewhat of where you were going. A vast improvement really! Well, it would be, but unfortunately, you still reeked of rotten eggs and skunk — apparently the bog stench only got worse the longer it stayed on.
“Why did it have to dump me into the swamp,” you huffed, rounding yet another corner. “Like, it could have dumped me beside the water, but, no, no, let’s dump the magicless human right into the putrid bog water! A good guffaw, don’t you think? Ha ha ha HA!”
At least your au de Bog of Eternal Stench kept any would-be assailants away since you hadn’t run into anything (besides a rose bush, ouch) since you started making your way through the labyrinth. So maybe it wasn’t all that bad… damn, maybe your sense of smell was just used to it… hey, if stink helps you not die, then you would gladly stay stinky! Well, bitterly stay stinky is more like it.
“Assholes,” you muttered, rounding another corner.
But it wasn’t a corner; it was a crossroad. Three paths merged off of the one you were on.
… aren’t labyrinths just one long line? THIS IS A FUCKING MAZE?! You groaned, looking at your possible options which all looked exactly the same.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Of course nothing is easy here, no no no! Gotta make things difficult now.
The hedge behind you rustled, and you whipped around, getting into a stance where you could either land a pretty good sucker punch to the hedge-stalker or make a mad dash away. But out of the hedge crawled out a small, fuzzy, caterpillar. And back at home you would have thought it was cute, but you learned your lesson from the doors; don’t trust it, or anyone for that matter.
You looked down at the caterpillar, and the caterpillar looked up at you, blinking slowly.
What are the chances…
“Do you know a way out,” you asked the caterpillar, crouching down so that you didn’t tower over it.
The caterpillar blinked at you again (apparently caterpillars in the Underground have eyelids, which isn’t the weirdest thing considering everything). “No,” it chirped and continued crawling on its merry way, wherever that may be. “But you’ll find the way.” And it disappeared into the growth of the maze, humming a little tune to itself.
You sighed, and pushed yourself back up, straightening out your shoulders and looking up to the sky. “I’ll find a way,” you breathed, looking up at the cloudless sky which was starting to turn a brilliant amber with the setting sun. “I might want to find a way is more like it.”
You looked back down to the ground, looking at the three paths in front of you. They all look the same, save for the ground making up paths themselves, with the middle and right paths looking well worn with travel. And while they may be well worn, there was a voice at the back of your head that was whispering caution. The left-most path was not as well travelled, with dead vines covering parts of it.
“Hopefully you’re right, little buddy since I could use all the luck I can get.” And you made your way down the path, hoping that it was the correct one and didn’t lead you to your death or some other unpleasant thing.
…
…
Lilia was at the entrance of the labyrinth, in front of the two doors.
“Have you seen a human, about this tall, a bit of a temper, and smelling foul,” he asked the doors.
The doors looked at each other before looking at Lilia. “And what’s it to you,” they said in unison.
Lilia smiled, but it was one of mild annoyance, not joy or amusement. “Royal orders I fear. You wouldn’t want the mistress finding out about you both tampering with a royal matter, would you?” The smile turned cat-like since Lilia had backed them into a corner.
The doors paled, with the blue door speaking up. “No no, sir! We would never dream of such a thing!!! Yes, there was a human, a wretched one at that, horribly rude!”
Lilia hummed, cocking a brow at the door. “I do think wretched is a bit of an overstatement now,” he whispered to himself. “Well, tell me where about they are then. The sooner I can collect them, the better for you lot.”
The red door sighed, “Near the heart of it, they took the left path.”
Left path? Why the left path leads to… Shit. Lilia mentally groaned, knowing that regardless of the path you took, you would end up having to deal with them eventually. “Your cooperation has been noted,” is what he said though, giving the doors both a nod before turning into a bat and flying over the labyrinth, trying to find you before you ran into whoever them was.
“Please be clever enough not to die,” he whispered to no one, hoping that he didn’t have to deliver your body to the Queen.
…
…
The left path brought you to what looked like a forest; with old-growth trees, ferns and moss covering the ground, and a list mist hanging in the air. It was peaceful and beautiful, with the setting sun illuminating the mist without burning it away.
But that would not last, night was fast approaching and you had nothing to protect you this time; no rowan tree to haul your ass up, and no sort of weapon to protect yourself besides the oh-so-lovely smell of the bog to deter something from eating you. You were pretty sure it would also keep away anything that wanted to otherwise snatch you up.
“AH!” Something jumped out from a tree, and you couldn’t fully register what it was since you were also screeching, much like the creature was at you; you with fright, the creature with amusement and joy.
Two other creatures jumped out from behind the trees and startled cackling, jumping, and clapping. Together, they surrounded you, with no way to really escape them without fighting through.
… you really should have read about fae species, since you didn’t know what they exactly were, or how dangerous they were either.
One pulled you near a pit and lit a fire, cackling in glee and dancing, trying to get you to join them. “Ah come on, human, have some fun! DANCE BABEY!!!!”
But you stayed still as more creatures came out of the shadows, dancing around the fire, giggling, cackling, and pulling a bit at your clothes to prompt you to join them. You didn’t know, cementing your feet down, your eyes watching their movements with caution.
‘Should you dance with the fae, you shall not stop dancing until you exhaust yourself. And once you wake up, you will continue dancing. This cycle will repeat itself until you dance to death.’
At least that was what the book said, and so you stayed still, regardless of how much the creatures pulled at you. While it looked like a grand old time, you remained where you were.
“I don’t have time for dancing,” you answered coldly, flinching from pinching fingers. You were also a bit shocked that Eau de Bog of Eternal Stench wasn’t keeping them away. Either, they couldn’t smell, or, they didn’t care that you smelled downright awful. “So this ‘baby’ won’t dance.”
And should I be offended by you calling me ‘baby’ or am I reading too much into it?
The main creature just shrugged and spun its dancing partner around. “Your loss human! More fun for us then! YIPPEE!!!” And it threw something in the fire to where you could feel the heat on your face.
What now? You were just standing there awkwardly as the creatures danced about, singing something that you couldn’t really make out. All you knew was that the heat, noise, and the dizzying dance of them was making your head pound, and throat scream in thirst. You hadn’t drank anything for over a day(?) — no, bog water did not count — and the heat from the fire made the thirst only worse. Shit.
“Ah, you don’t look too… hot there human,” one of the creatures snickered at its own joke at your expense. “Maybe if you dance with us, loosen up and have a bit of fun, then you can have a drink? Hmm? Dancing won’t kill you!” But its failed attempts at covering up its own malicious giggles were more than enough to stand your ground… which was coming at you quite fast since you practically collapsed.
Was it the thirst? The pounding migraine that wanted nothing more than to crawl into some dark hole and hide? Or your exhaustion from making that tiring trek, crawling yourself out of the bog and making the trek again, or the hours you had spent wandering around the maze with no real idea of where you were going? All you really knew was that you were now on the ground with the creatures poking at you to see if you were still alive.
“Aw, man! Are they already dead? That’s no fun!” One of the creatures pouted, raising up your arm, and you let it plop back to the ground. “Come on human! Get up! You’re not a party pooper are you?”
Scre you buddy! Can’t you read the situation?!
You were trying your best to stay quiet, which wasn’t all that hard, since all of your energy was gone.
“They best not be,” a familiar voice called out.
From your position, you couldn’t see who it was, but you could make out the creatures jumping away from you like you were the hot fire instead of the fire pit. But someone else was approaching until you could make out a pair of shoes in front of your face.
They crouched down beside you, placing their fingers gently at the base of your throat; taking your pulse. “Hmph, playing dead, are we, Beastie?”
That irritating chuckle. The annoying nickname. Those mischievous magenta eyes that now looked at you with curiosity and amusement.
It was him — Mr. Sparkles.
And he had just blown your act of playing possum (well, not really, since you had actually collapsed).
But you didn’t say anything, instead favouring to give him a dirty look. Yet he just shook his head in jest, and proceeded to pick you up and wrap you around his shoulders and neck like some sort of bizarre ermine pelt; better than being carried like a sack of potatoes or the bridal carry you supposed.
“Her majesty sends her regards for not turning or killing her guest,” Lilia offered the creatures. It would be such a waste and pity to see such an entertaining Beastie leave us too soon now. “But do know she won’t take to their condition lightly.”
My condition? I’m not some Victorian child with some unknown illness wreaking havoc on their body you know?! But all that you did was groan and cough. You couldn’t even cough in Mr. Sparkles’ (Lilia’s) face, since you had a lovely view of the moss-covered ground and the fae’s shoes.
He patted the back of your calves, and you would have kicked him if you had more energy, but you didn’t. “Now, we really should be off, since Beastie has… an hour to get out of this maze before they turn into some sort of worm, or a hedge; never know what this old labyrinth will decide on really.” Lilia chuckled at the thought (was it merriment, or was he happy that you weren’t joining the caterpillar you met earlier?).
“No,” you wheezed. “WoRm!”
“See! They said it themself! No worm! How lovely that we are on a similar wavelength, Beastie! Marvellous even!” Lilia exclaimed, and the both of you started levitating off of the ground. “Now, do enjoy your party, Fireys!”
The creatures (Fireys apparently) groaned but got back to their party, dancing around the fire like they didn’t just try to lure you to your death mere minutes before.
“Tsk tsk, Beastie,” Lilia’s tutting brought your attention back to him and you grumbled. “You owe me two favours now, you know. Lucky that I found you… although that part wasn’t hard. I thought you learned your lesson the first time you decided to take a dip into the Bog of Eternal Stench?”
You lightly kicked him, letting your irritation be known, but Lilia just hummed. “Now now, no need to be like that! Do you want to smell like a bog when you meet the mistress? She wouldn’t take kindly to your… unique aroma.”
You hissed out a breath since he decided to pinch at your ear rather harshly — prompting for you to answer. “No,” you whispered hoarsely.
“Also, do read up on that book, since you will want to know about the government and fae species etiquette!”
From a smelly bog and fumbling around a maze for hours on end, to finding yourself being taken to fae high society… was it too late to become some worm in the maze? I think being a worm actually has a better chance of me living.
But sadly, you were saved from an eternity of being a worm. Hopefully, Mr. Sparkles (Lilia) would cover for your blunders a little for when you found yourself in front of ‘the mistress’.
...
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To be continued!
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Tags; @afunkyfreshblog @cheezy-moon @eynnwwyjth @identity-theft-101 @ithseem @lucid-stories @ryker-writes @twistwonderlanddevotee @xxoomiii
Link to Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twst x gn reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x gn reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#lilia vanrouge x gn reader#yup! we're moving away from the labyrinth but fret not! the shenanigans shall continue and relationships will be built!#i forgot how fucking terrifying the fireys are and i now remember way labyrinth gave me nightmares as a kid#twst labyrinth au#also i shit you not i went to go eat at a burger joint last week and 'magic dance' was playing and i lost my fricking mind#like HELLO?! WHAT THE HELL?!#apparently the radio was telling me to fricking work on this fic...#i should really start posting this on ao3 as well... but idk where this is going to go#also posting a standalone fic (oneshot?) tomorrow; you guys will be eating good for a bit. here some crumbs for you and for you and for you
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dihua + outfits pt. 2 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#asiandramasource#dailyasiandramas#cdramasource#asiandramanet#cdramagifs#cdramanet#gifshistorical#cdrama#cheng yi#xiao shun yao#dihua#lhlgifs#jielin's edits#my posts#actually my parents. 这里他俩父母爱情的味道......我草#来示范给你们看什么叫做出双入对#finally got a breather from ensuing hell work week to get to this. hello they should make hell week happening over CNY illegal#the scene of the first gif is actually my lofter profile header...i should have known better than to miss this out from my prev set
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Give him space
#tyrannosaurus#trex#tyrannosaur#tyrannosaurus rex#rex#dinosaur#yes hello im having a week from hell so heres something i doodled to cheer myself up lol#inspired by an incredibly overweight lab i saw doing my grocery shopping earlier in the week
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why is so much happening this week ahhhh
#critical role#junoverse#malevolent#hello from the hallowoods#welcome to night vale#bells hells#tlovm#vox machina#tpp#the penumbra podcast#hfth#wtnv#@all creators THIS WEEK for some reason: AHHHHHHH#ty for your time
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Diggory Graves Week | Day 7: Free Day
Thank you @diggorygravesweek for hosting this week! I had a lot of fun!!! Was very happy to see my beloved :)
#diggory graves#hello from the hallowoods#hfth#Idol Diggory AU#can i get a hell yeah#i drew this ages ago and it made me laugh a lot#it was the day after the hatsune miku concert lol#this was never gonna see the light of day but then diggory graves week happened and im like eh why not#sometimes you just gotta draw your favorite character in the most silly setting
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I need someone to sit on my lap and blush when I call them pretty. That would fix me.
#in other news: hello its been some time but I'm alive and the last few weeks of hell are behind me BLESS#im regaining my energy and then im gonna draw so much im so excited#blah#other
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It took me like two hours to process that Caleb's description of dunamis actually was somewhat new information and then go back to grab the transcription because, uh, both "form of magic that exists between the fabric of all of forces of power" and "one of the oldest and most fundamental forces" are far more confidently firm descriptions than we ever got in campaign 2.
Was I actually roughly correct about what dunamis was??? HELLO???
VINDICATION?!?!
#like LISTEN it does feel like the obvious conclusion but HELLO??????#CAN WE GO BACK TO THAT???#i am choosing to believe that Caleb is too focused on the world ending to notice Ashton's head but UM. COULD WE DISCUSS THIS?#I'm never gonna be normal again. anyway.#straight up the universe was like 'megs is in hell week. yanno what she needs? motherfucking wizards.'#I'M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE#critical role#cr spoilers#caleb widogast#like yeah yeah i got all overly poetic and flowery about it but like ON A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL THIS WAS BASICALLY WHAT I MEANT#and tbh i do think you have to veer slightly toward my concept in order to really explain consecution BUT ANYWAY#i need to sleep. i will not get to sleep but. i should try.#anyway glad to see my boi clearly did not have to give up his whole life's work he's doing so well 😌#hope he is holed up in the Lavorres' spare room until Ludinus is dead 😌
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So excited for the EP this week so I made these because I was feeling a little creative:
#hozier#unaired#sorry it's been a while but hello#the real cover is ass so i wanted to do something fun#sorry the second one is so LQ like blame tumblr#i know they're cheesy as hell do not judge me#I have many creative outlets#writing is one but design is another#anyway... excited to hear these this week
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#first my animal blog hits 10k then a few days later my figure blog hits 500 what tha hell#hello#my friend and i are gonna make an animal figure discord in a week or two i hope some of you will join
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#fool me once shame on you fool me four thousand times shame on me and there will be shame on me again#i was excited to talk to you. i don’t understand why you won’t even look at me.#vent#delete later probably if i remember. i don’t know if want this staying up because it’s a bummer but i just need to get it out#but spending a week with a friends caring father and coming home to the guy i live with who won’t look at me or answer me when i say hello#just because he doesn’t feel like it or whatever the hell#hit me harder than i expected.#rounding in the year with the usual vague disappointment i guess#sparks speaks
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what they don't tell you about lactose intolerance is that it geTS WORSE why did nobody WARN ME it would GET SO BAD
#get me out of here. get me out of here. get me out of here.#I've been lactose intolerant pretty much my entire life but this past semester it's just been so awful#i go a week without a cheese. wonderful. i take 3 lactaid pills before one (1) slice of pizza. The pills have worked for me before.#Surely the horrors won't prevail AUGHHHHH AUHGHHSHH THE HORRORS!! THE HORRORS!! WHAT'S BECOME OF MY LACTASE#HELLO? ? HELLO!! DIGESTIVE SYSTEM WHERE'S YOUR FEEBLE LACTASE NUMBERS . You and I BOTh know there was a lactase in there at some point.#even if not many. even if only One. you fool. you horrendous beast.#this is disastrous. one (1!!) tiny slice of pizza buffered with THREe lactaid pills. and it's still so over. my tummy ? hurted.#Hurted so bad. and for what#I just want to digest a Lactose is that so bad. Is that so horrible of me. Can I not have a little tiny bit of lactose for me.#Ok i'm done complaining now. I have experienced so many agonies. hell hath no fury etc etc.#clamtalk
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When stealing things for his employers, it's not unknown for Copperhead to simply swallow them, especially if they are valuables like gemstones. It's easier and more convenient to carry them this way than waste time stuffing them into a bag that's likely to get snagged on something or get snatched away by a pesky vigilante.
#🐍 || headcanons#🐍 || musings#His fangs and venom isn't likely to damage such precious gemstones so they're really easy to carry off like this#Just swallow them down and cough 'em up later#It's easy with his snake physiology and even better they're a lot harder to take back when he's swallowed them already!#Vigilantes think they stopped him just in time because his bag's empty... nope it's just a decoy >:)#And he can hold gems inside for quite a while using his muscles to hold them in place#Now a really big gemstone would be uncomfortable#But thankfully no gems worth so much are so massive#He can't swallow every valuable item like this but gems like diamonds and so on are the easiest#Hello people I hope you're all having a great week so far!#Still in extended overtime hell but we're more than halfway through now#Getting a spoon back here and there#Just thought of this all of a sudden#But am too tired to write a drabble
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