#hello are you a fellow southerner?

[otrtbs]

fried okra has done more for me than any food ever has

[vogelmeister]

omg your tags on the reblog of my post - that's word for word how i feel and i HATE it, things have felt artificial to me since 1989, reputation was better but ever since lover it's felt like that 1000x more idk.. it just sucks but yeah you're not the only one feeling that way :')

THANK YOU! It's really nice to see that someone else has been feeling this way and I really begun to think deeply into why I feel like this. And you're right, it has really been since rep that it has felt... idk, less authentic.

I remember during the red and 1989 era, taylor was doing a lot of shit that actually showed how much she loved us. And by all means, she didn't have to, but it was little things such as the hidden notes in her album lyric books that made me feel a bit more connected to her. Not to mention stuff like swiftmas, the secret sessions and of course t-party all made us feel like one big family and that she was actually thankful for us. She didn't gain anything out of this, it was all "for the fans" and it made being a swiftie loads of fun, especially those hidden messages, which lbr costed nothing to keep doing. (1989 was her last i think)

Nowadays, when she does it, it feels more calculated and less authentic and I get maybe it's a safety thing that she can't do secret sessions and swiftmas etc anymore, but now even when she does things for the fans, it's stuff like releasing loads of versions of the one album so we all buy it (see, the midnight clock), and because we have this relationship we built up with her, we feel we owe our loyalty. It feels like she does these things to show she cares, but she wants our money in return. And believe me, there's other ways you can show it. The wiping of her social media defs slightly killed her authenticity, I think. Even though I understand why she did it, it certainly didnt help her relationship with the fans or it's authenticity. I do believe she still is thankful for us, but I can't help but notice the business aspect creeping in, and I just wish a lot of swifties knew you don't have to buy in to it. She's human, she has flaws, you don't have to always defend her, or buy her merch. It's almost business at this point, and I hate it.

I hate it. And I hate it more because I almost understand why its like this.

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | part one

“honeymoonin’”

part two | first impressions

A/N: I ehm. May or may not have gotten the inspiration for this bc of a porn channel that I watch 🫣 this is not proofread btw! P.S this is my smutty little treat for y’all b4 I drop chapter 11 of slow hands 🥲

~word count: 1k~

Summary: the morning after your honeymoon with your pornstar husband, Joel Miller

Pairing | pornstar!husband! Joel Miller x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: smut, NSFW, mentions of the porn industry, fluff ,established relationship, husband!joel, intimacy, bush love!!, 30’s reader/40’s Joel , oral (f!receiving) Joel has a big cock (canon) silly vibes, sex tape, pet names, reader has no physical descriptions, +18, minors dni!

You and your husband Joel Miller met through the porn industry. The first time you met him before you were set to film together you were immediately hooked by his southern charm. “Well, hello gorgeous. Ain’t you jus’ the sweetest, n’prettiest thing I’ve ever had the pleasuring’ of layin’ my eyes on. Goddamn. Names Joel, and what might your name be, darlin?’” You told him your name and shook hands. After that initial meeting..You kept things professional, but everytime you did a film with him, your pussy and your heart would flutter. You had never said yes faster in your life than when Joel requested to take you out to dinner one night after a late shoot. Burgers, fries, a milkshake for two, and Joel Fuckin’ Miller’s big cock, and his Texas twang.

Once you and Joel officially started dating, you started your own porn channel together and your videos were a hit. The intimacy and chemistry on camera was never faked, and there was real love blossoming between the two of you. People loved it. There was something about casual, real intimacy that really got your viewers going.

The money earned on the films went straight to buying you an enormous rock to put on your pretty finger. Joel spoiled you in every aspect, and you were over the moon when he asked you to be his wife.

One impromptu wedding in Vegas later, Pornhub paid for your entire honeymoon to the Fiji Islands.

In the middle of the king sized bed was a gift directly from Pornhub with a new camera, toys, lube, and a congratulations letter from some of yours and Joel’s fellow adult filmmakers.

You put that camera to good use immediately.

The following morning you awoke to an empty bed, but a note left on the dresser in your husbands penmanship

Goodmornin��, babydoll. I went out for a run, but I’ll be back in a jiffy. Can’t wait to fuck my wife and then feed ya some fresh fruit, and then fuck ya some more. Oh, and I booked us couples massages later this afternoon! Love you so much, honey.

-Joel xx.

You let out a girlish giggle and kiss the note before setting it down on the nightstand.

When he returns he’s drenched in sweat that seeps through the fabric of his t-shirt that adorns his body in all the right places. He’s got that twinkle in his eye, and that dimple poking out of his cheek that you love so dearly.

“Have a nice run, baby?” You grin at him over the rim of your book as he approaches.

“Mhm. S’gonna be an absolutely gorgeous day out there.” He drawls and watches as you set your book down on the nightstand.

“Yeah? Well, I think my husband should gimme his cock so that we can go out and enjoy this gorgeous day.” You curl your pointer finger inwards in a come hither motion for him to come closer.

“Oh, you want my cock? Hmm..what a temptin’ offer that is, honeybun.” He teases.

“But I want you to strip for me first, Joel. Give your wife a little show.” You wink and reach for the camera on the nightstand and flip it on.

“A strip tease, eh? I think I can handle that.” He chuckles and reaches for the hem of his shirt and slowly pulls it over his head just as your thighs slowly spread open over the comforter and your hand slips down between them to lightly play with yourself.

He grabs the waistband of his shorts and playfully snaps it against the lower part of his stomach with a grin before he slowly tugs it down over his hips. His cock is semi-hard beneath the confines.

“Fuck.” You breathe, “I’m the luckiest woman alive.” You beckon him closer and obliges. He takes his lower lip between his teeth when your soft and warm palm wraps around the underside of his shaft, fondling him gently while you hold the camera steady in your freehand.

“Shit. Y’got that all wrong, sugar. M’the luckiest motherfucker alive with the hottest, kindest, most beautiful wife. Fuck.” He hisses between his teeth.

You giggle softly at his reaction and slowly begin to pump your hand around him and twist your wrist in a corkscrew motion.

“And this cock is all mine, right baby? Fuck, it’s so pretty. I fuckin’ love you and your cock.”

“All fuckin’ yours, sugar plum.” He groans and leans down to slot his lips with yours, slipping his tongue past your mouth in a heated, bruising kiss. His cock grows hard and heavy beneath your soft touch and he pulls away only to climb on the bed on his knees, and grab the underside of your thighs to spread you apart further.

“And this pussy is all fuckin’ mine, ain’t she?” He rasps and looks up at you and the camera that is now angled downwards.

“All fuckin’ yours, baby. And she’s absolutely dripping for you right now.”

“Can see that, honeypie.” He chuckles and nips at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and bites down playfully. He doesn’t mind the coarse, thick, swirling hair on your pussy tickling the patches on his beard. He fucking loves you in your natural state, and he lets you know it by devouring your cunt whole. He kisses and suckles on your clit like it’s the sweetest candy he’s ever had the pleasure of tasting. His jaw goes slack as he laps up your arousal that seeps out of you like sweet honey from a hive. He groans against you, the bridge of his nose buried against the hair on your pubic bone. He inhales your scent, musky, erotic, and all you. He drinks you in, feasts, and feasts while you cry out his name.

Loving Joel Miller came easy, and while he has the biggest cock you’ve ever seen, it’s his ginormous heart that really sealed the deal for you.

When he hears the camera click shut and fall to the unoccupied space on the bed, he grins and continues to eat his favorite fucking meal; you. Until your tugging on the roots of his scalp and reaching down between his thighs to grasp his heavy cock once more and pull him into you.

Fuck your wife like you mean it, Joel.

Don’t gotta ask me twice, sugar.

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

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[dried-mushroom]

Omg can you please write about Lee Russell being mean to you in front of Gamby as like a power display or something but then when y'all get home (y'all are like Secretly dating since you're just a teacher) he's all nice and romantic to apologize?

YIPPEE I found another lee Russell lover! don't judge please I'm Australian so I have little concept of American education. I hope you like it.

Warnings: Lil angsty and implied sex

Be mean to me

Lee Russell x reader (well Christine sucks so she's not in this story)

Life was pretty peachy as a history teacher in North Jackson high school, you were stuck teaching from a range of boring topics to your either half asleep, barely listening or teacher pet students, except you were sleeping with the vice principal, Lee Russell. You couldn't resist that southern charm radiating off his tongue when he spoke those words on your first day as a teacher, in the parking lot.

"Mornin' Sweetheart, are you lost? The names Lee Russell, Vice principal of this very high school and you're way too fuckin' pretty to be a high school teacher."

After taking a good look at the lanky man who called himself the vice principal, you couldn't help yourself, and after promptly introducing you to your fellow teachers, he briskly walked you to the janitors closet where you both spent all morning. Obviously, you both knew this had to be kept a secret, boss and employee dating is a no-go, although that did not stop you both from being affectionate when no was watching, sharing a peck when you went to visit him at his office or the grasp of his hand on your thigh under the table at meetings or after work, where it was safe to be yourselves and you could lay together watching borderline cheesy romcom movies whilst Lee critiques his heart out.

You sighed contently as the bell for seventh period rang, the mingled voices of your 6th period ancient history class rushed out the door to their next useless class and you could finally relax and start lesson planning for the next 45 minutes. You let your hands run down your thighs, smoothing out your new dress (this but more teacher appropriate). You brought this specifically for Lee, you knew of his love for colours, hence his usually eccentric clothing choices, you knew he'd love the pattern on you. You couldn't help but smile giddily and walk out of the classroom, you knew you could easily finish the planning later and you'd rather spend the last of the school day with Lee.

You swiftly walked down the hall to administration, smiled sweetly at Swift, because you knew how rude Gamby was to her for no reason, and she didn't deserve that, like Gamby seriously needs a reality check in your opinion.

"Afternoon Miss Swift, I hope you're doing alright and Gamby isn't giving you a hard time, I was hoping to see Mr. Russell, I had to discuss long service leave with him."

"Oh, thank you miss l/n, vice principal Gamby is albeit rude, but I think he's getting better, and of course let me get the door for you."

You knew she wasn't stupid, and you assumed she knew about you and Lee secretly dating, but it was better to come up with an excuse and be safe rather than sorry. Smith quickly opened to door and shut it behind you.

"Well, hello there honey, I was expecting you- and what's this? isn't this a pretty thing?"

He shot up from his desk chair and sauntered over to where you stood, he placed his hands on your waist and whispered in your ear.

"I can't wait to rip that off you gir-"

Suddenly the door swung open, and Lee jumped away from you, 'of course Neal Gamby, you had to come fuck everything up." you thought to yourself, now awkwardly fiddling with the hem of your dress.

"Russell. We need to talk. Why the hell are you here Miss. l/n? I thought Wednesday 7th period was your planning lesson."

Before you could reply to Gamby, Lee interjected,

"Exactly, Scram Miss l/n, I don't need nor want you here, I have better shit to do, plus what the fuck are you wearing? you look like a fuckin mess, pick a goddamn colour."

Your heart sank, an uncomfortable tightness sat in your chest as your face flushed in embarrassment. You knew Lee being a dick to you was only a ruse to throw off other teachers and admin but, fuck it hurt, it hurt so much to have him speak to you in that way. You nodded your head and headed to the door,

"Open or closed Mr. Russell?"

Gamby responded for him, responding in a curt 'Closed.' leaving you to silently shut the door behind you. You walked out of the administration office before your eyes welled with tears, but you waited until you reached your classroom until you broke, sobbing quietly at your desk. You just wished you and Lee could act like a couple instead of the cold shoulder act he'd be giving you. With the mixed signals and nausea swirling through your brain, you grabbed your left-over paperwork and bag before leaving. Usually, you and Lee would leave at the same time, but you couldn't bear to see him at the moment, all your hard work, making yourself pretty for him and resulting in him publicly humiliating you was just too much.

The short drive home eased you a little but when you had to walk up those steps of your shared home, it just brought back that sickly tension. You unlocked the door and set your handbag down (another reminder of Lee since it was an anniversary gift). You kicked off your heels and headed upstairs to your shared bedroom. You didn't bother to change and slumped into bed, fresh tears coming to your eyes, you didn't care whether you were quiet or not, sobbing yourself till you couldn't keep your eyes open.

Lee's POV:

He regretted the words as soon as they came from his mouth. He saw the hurt on your face, and he felt his stomach twist into a tight knot. He hated being a dick to you, hated it so much he hated himself for doing it. He realised he went way too far this time with you, and he really didn't want to lose you and couldn't help but fidget with his hands whilst blatantly ignoring whatever bullshit Gamby was bitching about.

"Sorry Gamby but I gotta run, not like you'd know what that is though. We'll talk about Brown tomorrow, now get the fuck outta my office."

Neal sighed, muttered some regurgitated insult but ultimately left. Lee rushed to grab his belongings and ran out the door, Smith tried to ask where he was off to in a rush,

"Sir, you can't just leave! where are you even going???"

When he pulled into the driveway, 'Thank God' he thought as he saw your car parked there. He got out, left all his belongings in the car, not a care. You were more important; you were the most important thing in his life. He opened the door and called;

"Shut the fuck up Smith, I can leave whenever the fuck I want and its none of your business where I am going."

Smith squeaked a reply, but Lee was already down the hall, he went to your classroom and groaned when he noticed a lack of you and your belongings. He ran to the parking lot, got into his car as soon as he didn't saw your car, without a doubt it was always parked next to his. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white, he shakily exhaled, he knew he had fucked up and was hoping you were at home.

"Y/n baby, where are you? I'm so sorry about what I said."

The silence was nerve-racking, so after checking all the other rooms for you, he headed to the bedroom to check. There you were, peaceful and asleep, he couldn't have been happier. He walked across the room to the side to the bed you were facing, and sat gently on the bed, softly stroking your hair.

Your POV:

You slowly awoke out of a dreamless slumber to someone touching you. You flinched when you realised it was Lee, and you remembered everything that happened today. He felt your reaction and immediately pulled his hand away. He saw the tear streaks on your face and sighed,

"Y/n I am so fuckin' sorry; I should have never had said those hurtful things to you, you didn't deserve that, God, I don't deserve you. I didn't even mean them, I need you so much, and you do so much for me, and I take that shit for granted, please forgive me y/n, I love you."

You saw the raw emotion across his face and sat up, you could see the tears in his eyes, and you couldn't help but wipe the one away falling down his cheek with your thumb. You smiled softly and leaned into him,

"I forgive you Lee, and I love you so much. I don't think you meant it but what you said really fucking hurt, and this hiding our relationship is really hurting us, so please can we finally go public and not have to worry and hide anymore?"

"Thank you so much and fuck it! who gives a shit if you and I are together? whoever doesn't like it can suck my dick, I can't lose you honey."

You smiled, finally knowing you'd and Lee would finally be able to be yourselves without having hide and sneak around.

"You aren't losing me Lee; I wouldn't do that to you. Now kiss me, you idiot."

He didn't hesitate a second before crashing his lips into yours, your hands finding his neck before climbing into his lap. His hands sneaked around your waist bringing you even closer, you could feel his erection under you, and you couldn't help moaning into his mouth. He broke the kiss to whisper,

"Well now how about I make do of my promise from earlier?"

The End

I hope this was good! please leave comments or asks if you enjoyed :)

[onenicebugperday]

@unbearable-lightness-of-ink submitted: hello! can you tell what this handsome fellow is? it showed up on a wall in southern Wisconsin at the beginning of autumn. is it a wolf spider perhaps? (finger for scale, but not too near bc I wasn't sure what it was and also didn't want to frighten it.) Thank you!

Hello! I saw your other message, and you're right, it is a parson spider rather than a wolf spider :)

[herpsandbirds]

Hello! Whomst might be this cute little fellow who landed on me in Southern Alberta the other day? Thank you! 🥰

Bug ID - ALB, Canada:

Henlo, yesss, this is a stink bug in the Banasa, probrably B. dimidiata, family Pentatomidae.

Species Banasa dimidiata - BugGuide.Net

Green Burgundy Stink Bug (Banasa dimidiata) · iNaturalist

[icarustypicalfall]

Hi! I have a silly request but since we are both Rudy lovers (i am also radiant cod) can you please write a short little react on „I want uns to move in together“ especially Alejandro, Rudy, soap and ghost. Oc is female and ask that question 😭🥰

Hello fellow Rudy lover :3

Of course!! this is such a cute thing request awwh :')

DRABBLES!!

Cod Men's Response to reader asking them to move in together!!

Including: rudy, alejandro, ghost, soap Warnings: sfw, pure fluff, fem!reader Note: I can do a p2 with the rest of the characters if y'all are interested :D

«Moon, tell me if I could

Send up my heart to you?»

Rodolfo Rudy Parra

From the moment you met Rudy, you knew he was the right man. Not only because of his sweet demeanor, but also because of his charming personality and kind nature that made you fall hard for him. You and Rudy have been dating for almost a year and a half, and he has always treated you like a precious and delicate creature. No one has ever made you feel the way he does.

While you lived in the southern side of Las Almas with your family, Rudy resided in the bustling center of town. Getting to meet him was always a significant journey, especially with the increasing cartel crimes that made it unsafe to roam the city. However, the allure of spending nights in your lover's apartment was irresistible.

You were ready to take the next step in your relationship and couldn't wait to tell him. One late night, after spending the day together at his flat, making pizzas and dancing, you cuddled on the couch, sipping the Champurrado he had made. Rudy chuckled and gently wiped the chocolate mustache stain from your face before speaking lovingly.

"I haven't had this much fun in a while, mi amor," he murmured, brushing the strands of hair away from your face. "You seem distracted, amor. What's wrong?"

You sighed, placing your mug down, knowing it was the perfect moment to ask him. Adrenaline coursed through your veins as you gathered your courage.

"Promise me you won't get mad?" you said, looking into his eyes.

"You didn't like my abuelita's recipe?" he replied, giving you a disappointed look, causing you to laugh and shake your head.

"No, it's... I just miss you, Rudy. I feel like we're wasting time living apart. I wish we could... you know... live together. And it's..."

"You want to move in with me?" he interrupted, cupping your face and looking both serious and surprised.

You slowly nodded, furrowing your eyebrows, wondering if it was indeed a good idea. But Rudy's expression turned into a wide grin, as if to make sure you weren't joking. He pulled you into a warm embrace and showered kisses all over your face. Then, with a surge of excitement, he babbled in quick Spanish giving you a whole monologue, though you couldn't quite make out the words.

You assumed he was just thrilled, as he jumped up and rushed to grab his phone, yelling, "TE QUIERO TANTO MI AMOR!" before locking himself in the bathroom to happily inform Alejandro.

translation (i love you so much my love!)

ALEJANDRO VARGAS

After the betrayal of Phillip Graves and witnessing your lover wounded but still fighting with all his might, you were certain of two things. Alejandro Vargas was a loyal man through and through, and he was the man you wanted to be by your side until the end.

It was quite amusing how you had never considered moving in with him sooner, given that you both worked on the same frontlines, fighting against the same enemies, and spent countless nights together guarding your beloved country. The time had come to embark on a new chapter together, though you were unsure if he would agree. However, the thought of losing him that day shattered any trace of doubt or fear, leaving you with an overwhelming desire to hold him in your arms.

After a delightful dinner, you joined Alejandro on the rooftop of the base, a cherished ritual the two of you shared. Sitting in his arms, gazing at the stars, was the highlight of your day, especially since Alejandro was always busy with his duties. He motioned for you to come closer, opening his arms to welcome you as you rested your head on his thigh, relishing in the sensation of his fingers running through your hair. You inhaled his musky scent, your eyes fixed on the dark expanse above. Alejandro's smile brightened as he planted a tender kiss on your forehead, then whispered softly.

"My love, is everything alright? I haven't seen you this pensive in quite some time," he chuckled as you rolled your eyes, prompting you to share what was on your mind.

You sighed, sitting up and locking eyes with him. "I just...miss you," you confessed.

Furrowing his brow, Alejandro nodded, encouraging you to continue. "Miss me?" he queried.

"It's just...I wish we could spend more time together. I thought a part of me died when they took you away. I thought I would never see you again. That day made me realize how much I love you, Alejandro."

His gaze softened as he uttered a heartfelt, "I love you too," nodding for you to proceed.

"Would you like to move in together?" you blurted out, looking in his eyes with a hopeful yet anxious gaze.

The grin on his face widened, and he looked away briefly, his cheeks flushing with excitement. He bit his lip, unable to contain his joy.

"I was actually about to ask you the same thing, mi cielo..."

SIMON GHOST RILEY

You and Ghost were like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together, despite both being reserved and chilly individuals. Behind closed doors, you shared a love that no one expected to blossom. You connected on a deeper level, communicating your feelings without the need for words. It was as if you could understand each other's thoughts. Just like Simon, he wasn't fond of people, and neither were you.

Silence was your sanctuary, and you relished in the tranquil moments, indulging in activities during the early dawn or late night when the world was at its calmest. Spending the night at Simon's small flat in the city, the most peaceful corner of the bustling nation, felt like being in a place where you truly belonged.

He allowed himself to be vulnerable with you, gradually revealing more of his true self, shedding his mask on certain days, and even letting you take care of his hair and face.

Those special days spent together created cherished memories. Deep down, you yearned for more, wishing he could be the last person you saw before bed and the first person you woke up to. You hoped he felt the same way. Simon believed that actions spoke louder than words, and he made sure to keep you happy, occasionally letting slip a heartfelt "luv you."

Once again, you rose early to a cold day, with the usual morning fog lingering until the sun's rays pierced through.

It had become a habit to take Simon's dog for a walk before breakfast, as the nearby coffee shops opened up. Side by side, you walked in silence, inhaling the stillness and watching the droplets of water on the road. Simon placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, drawing you close for warmth as he calmly asked, "You alright?"

You sighed and nodded, your hands fumbling to warm them up. He clasped your palm, tucking it into his pocket, grumbling, "You should have told me straight away. There's no point in venting to Gaz." You looked at him in shock, feeling your cheeks flush. He had overheard your conversation with Gaz about how much you wanted to move in with Simon.

Ignoring your embarrassed state, Simon muttered, "Next time, tell me. I never said you weren't welcome there. Didn't know you had a parrot's brain.. that place is your home too." You gulped, staring at him in astonishment. "You, you don't mind?" His response was simple, he looked away and you swear you saw his eyes twinkle for a moment, "Never said I did."

JOHHNY SOAP MACTAVISH

The holidays were approaching, and you knew that you wouldn't see Johnny for at least two weeks. It broke your heart to be so close yet still apart. The Scottish man resided in a different city, causing the pain of distance to gnaw at you. No matter how many nights you spent together, one of you always had to leave in the morning, leaving the other to bathe in the sorrow of separation.

You longed to gather the courage to ask Johnny to move in together, but fear held you back. He was a composed man who loved you more than his beloved mohawk.

As everyone packed their belongings for the holidays, preparing to return to their flats, family homes, or partners, you entered Johnny's room and set your sports bag aside before sitting on his bed. A small laugh escaped your lips as Johnny scowled, procrastinating on packing until the last minute and now struggling to fit numerous shirts into his bag. You folded a shirt, assisting him in the task before smiling.

"So, Johnny, what are you going to do when you go back?" you asked. He grinned, carelessly tossing the clothes into the bag despite your protests. "Well, bonnie, I'm going to visit my family, and then I'll come to your place andbkidbap you and make you spend the rest of the holiday with me." You laughed and shook your head. "Can I tell you something, Johnny?" He furrowed his eyebrows, mumbling as he focused on his packing. "You'll come to my house. My mom has been dying to meet you. No excuses."

You chuckled and replied, "Well, I mean... I'd love to meet her, of course. But what I was actually talking about... do you think it's time for us to take the next step?"

The look on his face was priceless, and you had to playfully slap his arm to prevent him from blurting out something scandalous. "Not that way, you idiot. I meant... I think we should move in together. It feels like the perfect timing."

His grin widened, and he swept you off your feet, twirling you in the air. "I can't believe you said that, bonnie.. We..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence as he slipped on one of the shirts scattered on the floor, causing you to fall on your rear while he ended up trapped in his bag.

"Bonnie, help me!" he exclaimed. You chuckled and teasingly remarked, "I"I think I might just reconsider this step..."

𓆩♡𓆪

MASTERPOST

kindly like and rebelog, it motivates us to continue :)

[icycoldninja]

Hello :) hope you’re having an early spoop-tackular month full of treats or tricks ∩^ω^∩

I love your writing and had something that has been tickling my peewee of a brain—ya know bouncing about the noggin’.

Many eons ago I discovered that when I get angry, frustrated, scared, or excited I put on my good ole country accent since where I live it’s full of southerns AND northerners. So basically I can be a distinguished fellow one moment then mere seconds later become a hillbilly bent outta shape because someone forgot my Diet Dr. Kelp while ordering pizza from the Krusty Krab

imagine the Sparda boys with their s/o that is known to be really, really sweet to everyone but when the s/o gets super upset or angry she full throttle her southern accent and it always throws people off guard 💀

YOU ARE PERFECT AND AMAZING TYSM FOR KEEPING MY HEART IN LOVE WITH DMC. WELL WHAT I MEAN IS THANK YOU FOR THE MOTIVATION.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I AM! OK, first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know this took like a century to post and I hope you forgive me for that. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader with a southern accent headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Normally, you sound as average as average can be. No one thinks there's anything odd about the way you speak.

-Dante honestly couldn't care less about accents anyway, what you say is the same, regardless of how you pronounced it.

-Except for when you get angry and fly off the handle, cursing and shouting like the ol' hillbilly you sort of are.

-Dante absolutely loses it, laughing so hard he almost pees himself. While such a reaction is understandable the first time, it just doesn't make sense that he continues laughing after the 50th or 60th time.

-Shows you off to everyone at gatherings and parties, always asking you to say a joke or something in your accent.

-It's nice to have all the attention and surprise people like that, but you get tired of doing it after a while. One can only hope Dante will get tired of it too.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is largely indifferent to the way you speak.

-Or so he thought, until one day you got mad at something and started screaming like a true Southerner.

-He was convinced you had become possessed by a demon of some sort and was ready to drive it out of you, when you snapped back to your usual self and started talking normally again.

-He couldn't believe what he just heard, and after mentally debating it, decided to pretend it never happened and tell himself he imagined the whole thing.

-When you do it again a few days later, he is forced to accept the fact that your accent is real, and worst of all, that it's funny.

-Now he has to cover his face with his book whenever you blow your stack or everyone will see him grimacing to hold back laughter.

□ Nero □

-Nero never thought anything was suspicious about you at any point, why would he, anyway?

-He knew you were from the South, since you told him, and while he did wonder why you didn't sound like most southerners, he chalked it up to familial influence or something and left it at that.

-Needless to say, Nero was pretty confused the first time he heard you go off like that.

-He thought you were doing it to be funny, but realized this was natural after hearing it a few times.

-He thinks you sound like Nico and can't wait for the day when you both get upset over something and start aggressively jabbering at each other.

-You and your funny way of talking are cute in Nero's eyes, but that's about it. He's just not one to care for silly things like that.

● V ●

-Since V has only arrived on earth recently, he is doing his best to learn about the workings of the world.

-He was familiar with the concept of accents and dialects, sure, having been around Nico for a while, but when he met you, he never thought you'd be one of those individuals with a distinct accent.

-You were pretty normal until Griffon made a particularly hurtful comment that you decided to return. All of a sudden, your accent kicks in and you start scolding that bird in true Southern momma fashion.

-V was stunned for a moment, then was quickly reduced to laughter because the whole exchange was hilarious.

-When you demanded to know what the hell he was laughing about, he just kept going.

-You eventually gave up and left him to his devices because there was no point in trying to understand his mind.

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 1 - Prompt: Day @wolfstarmicrofic

January Daily Series - 499 words

**Series 2/5 in a continuous multi-ship story**

<<<Previous Series OR Beginning

Sirius traipsed along the pavement idly following Padfoot’s bushy tail as the dog drifted from ice-crested grass on one side to scrubby plants on the other. His massive head bobbed as he attempted to sniff every rock, plant, or insect that appeared in front of his nose. Padfoot’s shaggy black fur naturally fell over his eyes, despite Sirius’s attempts to train it with clips. More often than not, Padfoot aimlessly wandered through the day unconcerned about anything further than a metre in front of his face.

“Let me know if you find anything interesting, mate,” he said, grinning when the dog sneezed. “Or just snot all over it. That’s fine too.”

Padfoot’s tail wagged at the sound of his voice, but he was far too enthralled in his olfactory exploration to acknowledge him. That was fair, really. Wales was new to him and filled with interesting scents.

Sirius appreciated his interest. With a coastline seemingly carved by a giant spoon, brine-filled sea air, and crisp, citrusy fir trees, southern Wales had a magical quality to it. Each time he returned, the freshness of it wrenched the urban mustiness from his lungs.

He studied the rocky cliffs that jutted into the sea. Every one of them wore a grassy toupee atop their jagged limestone heads. Perhaps Wales needed a trim too, he mused.

“Hello there, Padfoot.”

Sirius’s head snapped up, surprised to find a stranger crouching down a few metres ahead with his hand outstretched. The man wore a brown beanie that crushed honey-tipped curls against his face. He hadn’t noticed him approaching from the other side of the path’s curve.

A stranger to him, but clearly not to Padfoot. The dog woofed excitedly as he dragged Sirius forward. Given the bloke’s relaxed demeanour, he wasn’t at all bothered by the sight of a ten stone ball of fur rushing at him. That was his first mistake.

A metre away, Padfoot ripped the leash free and leapt at the man with his tongue lolling and his paws outstretched. Sirius gasped, clapping a hand to his mouth as time slowed to allow an unstoppable force to meet an unsteady object. The impact rippled through the air as the dog knocked the flailing man onto his back.

“Fuck!”

Sirius lunged forward and grabbed Padfoot’s collar. He struggled to pull the dog back while Padfoot determinedly slobbered all over the man’s face. “Pads! Heel, you twat!”

Padfoot did. He planted his bottom on the man’s middle, trapping him beneath his bulk. A sharp grunt escaped the beanie-clad fellow before becoming a breathy laugh.

“Nice to see you too,” he said.

Staring down at the man’s lopsided grin, Sirius shook his head incredulously. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, fine.”

Sirius glanced between them, frowning. “How do you know my dog?”

“James.”

Of course. I should have known.

“Sorry about…this,” Sirius said, gesturing helplessly.

He chewed his lip as his gaze flicked over Sirius. Then, he held out his hand. “I’m not. Name’s Remus. Remus Lupin.”

Next Part>>>

[violettemoonlight]

Hi fellow tumblr freaks,

Intros are long overdue.

You can call me V or Van. I’m in my 30’s and have been on tumblr one way or another for over a decade. This era is about fully exploring myself and everything that comes with that journey (nsfw mostly).

I’m sub leaning, bratty, bisexual, polyamorous/ENM switch in a LTR. Lifelong learner and neurodivergent. US based- southern girl who found herself in the sunshine state (Florida for those who aren’t familiar) ✨

Some housekeeping notes below:

• I won’t share my face publicly. Mutuals in my DM’s might get lucky

• not skinny or bigoted, and probably not interested

• reblogs are okay and encouraged

• asks are open if we’re not mutuals- say hello! Anything shared will stay with me unless specifically and explicitly requested otherwise

• terfs, homophobes, fatphobes, etc. DNI

• here for goofs, like minds, friends, and dirty posts

• some, if not all, content is kink related. That means no minors or ageless blogs. At all. I will block you.

• often queued and on my bullshit

• keep it cute and DBAA

💜

My tags: #me #my text #violette moonlight

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Seresin's Date

Summary: You had a date that night, but your brother wanted to be there to meet him. Don’t want to give too much away but know big brother Jake isn’t happy!

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Sister!Reader, Mystery Date x Reader

Warnings: Use of swear words, not too much else

Word count: 1.7k

Requested: Thank you Anon for this fun request! I hope you enjoy it!!

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading. Inbox is open for requests, questions, or to say hello! If you have requested something, know that it is being worked on!

Jake was currently tapping his foot on the ground, agitation rolling off him in waves. It was clear to anyone around him that the laid-back pilot wasn’t here today, and they would do best to tread lightly. Natasha had been dying to know what had him all riled up, but the day was filled with training runs and debriefs. It wasn’t until they were walking to the locker room that she was able to poke the bear.

“What has your panties in a twist?” Bob shook his head at how little she cared about his feelings but was secretly curious as well. From past experiences, it took a lot to get him as wound up as he is now.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” They didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered to the clock on the wall, giving them a small clue to work with.

“Afraid you’re going to be late for whatever girl you brainwashed into going out with you?” Natasha knew it wasn’t that simple. Jake hadn’t been bragging all day about who he picked up at the bar. But she knew that was the best way to get him talking.

They reached the locker room and Jake forcefully opened his locker, tossing his helmet inside.

“My sister has a date tonight and I want to be there to meet this son of a bitch. Let him know that she isn’t the kind of girl he can mess with. But now I’m running late, and she made it clear she wasn’t waiting on me.” They all watched him run a hand through his hair, silently taking in this new side of him.

Javy knew this was going to happen. Of all the sisters Jake had, you were the one he kept a close eye on. Growing up, you weren’t the perfect southern bell your mom had tried to mold, and your dad was too focused on his career to do much parenting. Leaving Jake to be the parental figure you needed to stay out of trouble as well as be shown the love and affection that you missed out on. The two of you had an unbreakable bond which made situations like this tough on him. No matter how old you got, you were still his baby sister.

“Your sister? The one who just moved here like a week ago?” Jake sent a threatening glare at Bob who spoke up for the first time. This resulted in him throwing his hands up in surrender, hoping Jake wasn’t going to turn on him.

“Yeah, that one. I don’t even understand how she found a guy that fast. Or where for that matter.” He had finished changing into his civilian clothes and turned to face the guy whose locker was next to his.

“What? Nothing to add, bird boy?” Bradley wanted to say many things but decided to keep them to himself. Jake hadn’t ever laid hands on a fellow pilot, no matter how provoked, but he wasn’t about to test the boundaries.  

“Nah man. Just try not to kill the poor guy tonight. I don’t think the military takes too kindly on murderers.” Bradley couldn’t hold back the small smirk but didn’t dare to meet Jake’s gaze. He knew it wouldn’t end well if he did.

Jake let out a huff and stormed out of the room. Javy told him in passing to call him if needed. He had no issues being back up when it came to the Seresin family.

With some miracle of not getting pulled over on the way to your apartment, Jake practically ran up the stairs to the second floor, taking two steps at a time. He unlocked the door to find you dancing around in shorts and a tank top, music being played louder than it should, not looking like you were anywhere near being ready.

Your face lit up when you saw your brother walking through the doorway. “Perfect timing! I need help picking out what to wear.” You saw the eye roll that was directed towards you, but you knew it was playful. Skipping back to your room, you came back out holding up two simple dresses. A black one and a red one. They really weren’t anything fancy, but colors seemed to make a difference no matter the style.

“Neither. Go put on some jean and a sweater or something.” Jake leaned back on the counter and crossed his arms, watching as you shook your head at him.

“It’s summer in California. While it may get a bit chilly with the wind, I’m not dressing for winter just to please you. I think I’ll go with the black.” You walked back into your room to change, but a knock on the door stopped you. Your date was ten minutes early, something that would please your brother but now had you scrambling to finish getting ready.

You yelled out, “Play nice. I didn’t put makeup on for nothing, so you better not run the guy off.” Grumbling was what was heard from the other room, but you smiled to yourself as you waited for the next few minutes to play out.

Jake opened the door and tilted his head to the side in confusion.   

“What are you…” Then it clicked. His teammate with the obnoxious mustache was standing at your door in a nice button-down shirt and slacks, holding a bouquet of flowers. “Absolutely fucking not. Turn your ass around and leave.”

Bradley knew he was going to be fighting an uphill battle the second you told him your last name a few days ago. Somehow, he got lucky and accidentally bumped into you at the supermarket. The two of you seemed to hit it off, and he almost didn’t believe when you said you were related to Jake.

And it didn’t help that Jake was quicker than he was leaving today. Maverick was doing him a solid and purposely dragging out the debrief, hoping to give him enough time to slip past his teammate.

But one thing he didn’t put into thought was that right now Jake wasn’t his teammate. Right now, he was the overprotective brother who wanted nothing more than to kill him.

“There is nothing I can say right now that will make you happy, is there?” Bradley casually looked over Jake’s shoulder, hoping if he could prolong this conversation, you would come to his rescue.

“Unless the words consist of, ‘Tell your sister I’m sorry and have a good night’ then no.” Jake blocked the doorway, not letting Bradley see any bit inside your apartment. His mind was struggling to figure out what to say, but a small hand appeared on Jakes chest and pushed him back.

“You know, I figured you would be happier knowing that one of your teammates is looking after me and not some stranger I picked up at a bar. Unless you would rather that, then I can head there instead?” Bradley watched as the smirk that Jake always had was used against him by his little sister. Now he saw how the two of you were related. If the situation was different, he probably would’ve laughed. Instead, he bit back a smile and watched as his teammate fumbled for a response.

If he thought Jake’s change in attitude this afternoon was crazy, this took a while new level. The arrogant aviator was nowhere to be seen. In his place was someone who clearly cared for his sister but didn’t want to push her away. He thought about what he was going to say rather than spewing words that were designed to get under your skin. For once, Jake wasn’t in control of the situation, and it was eye opening watching him struggle to stay above water.

“I would be happier knowing you weren’t going out with any guy. I just want you to be safe.” Jake was gripping the doorframe with white knuckles, showing just how hard he was trying to keep his cool. But all that went out the door when you said what you did next.

“You come home talking about how great of a teammate Bradley is and how much you trust him to watch your back. Is that not someone you think I would be safe with?”

Bradley watched as your head tilted to the side some, feigning innocence even though you knew exactly what those words were going to do. Jake didn’t know if he wanted to yell at you or Bradley, so he threw up his hands instead.

“I never said that. Don’t go filling his head with lies when we both know it isn’t true.” He turned back to Bradley and pointed a finger at him. “You bring her back by 11 and not a second later. You hurt her and you will have much bigger problems than whether you are going to make the cut for this mission or not. I don’t care that you are a teammate, that’s my baby sister and she means more than your life does. Do I make myself clear?”

Bradley nodded his head and held out a hand for him to shake. Jake looked down at it and sighed, “God this is stupid.” But shook it anyway.

You gave Jake a quick kiss on the cheek and told him you will call if you need anything. But as you were leaving Jake asked, “Could I introduce you to Phoenix? She seems like a way better choice.”

You tossed your head back and laughed, making Jake smile reluctantly in return. “Don’t try and sneak in. I’ll be waiting up for you.” He gave you and wink and let the two of you walk off to the date that he never in a million years wanted to happen.

When the two of you were out of sight, Jake picked up his phone and dialed Javy. “Hey man. How do you feel about crashing a date?”

A/N: Thoughts? Likes or dislikes? Thank you so much for reading!  

[gweelczz]

“Cat Got Your Tongue?” PT. 1

Rosalie Otterbourne × Black!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive, smut in pt.2, Rosalie being the only woman ever, reader is a simp off rip, reader is the sister of Cab Calloway and the cousin of Billie Holiday, Rosalie has rizz

Summary: Being in love she didn't know whether she was falling or flying but she was airborne either way... or a story about a woman falling head over heels for another woman in the 1930s

Hello everyone! I am Red, I’m new to writing on this app so I hope you all enjoy my stories

—“In my solitude….”

Her voice rang out, bold but sweet being amplified by the silver microphone in front of her. A white mink wrapped around her shoulders with satin gloves to match, her gown cascading to the ground wrapping around her mid arm showing off her collarbones and shoulders. Her dark hair pinned with a side part showing off her sparkling diamond earrings she’s never been seen without.

She gripped the microphone with a ring clad hand, her face expressing an expression of pain and longing. How she longed to be kissed in the darkness of the night and held close to a warm chest as she slept. She hated sleeping alone, the bed was always so cold and too big, loneliness was a heavy cloud hanging over her pouring down sadness as she sang from her heart a song by one of het favorite artists who too understood what it was like to be alone, to crave being desired and wanted.

She quickly wiped a tear bowing her head in defeat succumbing to the emptiness in her heart, she sang once more her voice never wavering no matter how broken she was “In my solitude…”. Her auburn orbs scanned the silvery fogged room as she sang not looking for anything in particular, that is until another set of dark eyes found hers.

They belonged to a fellow woman, her skin, the perfect description of coffee beans. Eyes sparkling underneath the lights filled with curiosity, her shoulders rolled back as she stood her demeanor reeking of power mixed with independence. An arched eyebrow raised at Y/N, those dark eyes wordlessly asking her a question “who are you?”.

Y/N continued to sing to the crowd until her set came to an end. She bowed softly sweetly thanking the crowd before exiting stage left to give the spotlight to her brother Cab Calloway and his band. She made her way over to the bar ordering a drink as the upbeat jazz music rang throughout the club. She tapped her feet to the music glancing around observing her surroundings.

She wasn’t one for big places like this filled wall to wall with people, she was a homebody at heart preferring to stay home with a glass of wine and a good book. She had no interest in sleazy men who couldn’t take no for an answer or men in general for that matter. No no, she wanted to be a woman’s woman.

Y/N sighed to herself turning to face the stage when she felt a tap on her shoulder, turning to her left she prepared herself to cuss out yet another man who didn’t know how to take a hint only for the words to die in her throat.

She rendered herself speechless once she discovered who touched her, she turned coming face to face with the one and only Rosalie Otterbourne. “I.. I um..” she couldn’t bring herself to speak to the beautiful woman who decided to bless Y/N with her presence.

She opened her mouth to try again when she heard it, the sweetest sound she’d ever heard besides music. She’d heard a giggle, a soft giggle rang out from Rosalie’s throat as she stared at the speeches woman. “Cat got ya tongue honey?” She softly laughed slightly throwing her head back as she did so. Y/N thought she was beautiful from afar but she was breathtaking up close. Rosalie smirked at the other holding out her hand “I’m Rosalie, Rosalie Otterbourne niece and manager of the Salome Otterbourne. What’s your name sugar?”

Y/N swooned at the southern accent dripping from Rosalie’s lips, she took the other’s hand gently shaking it with a smile “I’m Y/N Calloway”. Rosalie’s smile faltered a bit at she gazed at the woman in front of her “as in the sister of the Cab Calloway?” Her eyes widening slightly as she spoke.

Y/N slightly chuckled, eyes flickering towards her brother on the stage who was already looking at her with a grin before turning her attention back to Rosalie. “Yes ma’am the one and only” she took a sip of her drink smiling at Rosalie, she noticed she was still holding the other’s hand as she gazed down for a second.

She quickly let go not noticing the way Rosalie frowned at this. Rosalie being the bold woman she is took Y/N’s hand into hers once more as she slid into the seat beside her. “You can hold my hand honey, I don’t mind it one bit especially if it’s a beautiful woman” Rosalie winked at Y/N before she turned her attention to the bartender ordering herself a drink. “Lord knows I shouldn’t drink on the job but a little liquid courage ain’t neva hurt nobody”

Y/N nodded her head in agreement humming as a vocal response. She took this time to take in the beauty next to her that went by the name of Rosalie. Her eyes scanned from her black hair down the black pumps her feet adorned. She knew of Ms. Otterbourne but to see her in the flesh boldly flirting with her was another. Raising her glass to her lips she downed her drink to get some courage before she shot back a flirt herself. “Well you’re one to speak Ms. Otterbourne, I’ve been blessed with the presence of a goddess”

This in turn made Rosalie turn in her seat placinga hand onto Y/N’s knee with a smirk. “Now that’s more like it, how about after my performance we go up to my room and talk as friends, I sure could use one”. Y/N nodded her head agreeing automatically, she wanted this woman and she was hell bent on making Rosalie hers. “Sounds great to me, you blow these people outta the water now ya hear?” Rosalie tilted her head back releasing a laugh while giving Y/N a glimpse of her sparkling teeth. “I shall do just that”

[mafaldaknows]

Honestly, agree with Armie calling yall a brood of vipers. How quick are yall to throw him away when another man you deem more worthy, be it Troye or Jason Momoa or Hugh Grant, interacts with your saintly timmy. Having fans that only care about you when they can vicuariously live through you ther kinky fantasy about fucking your costar, no wonder he exploded and told that to the bulgarian weirdo.

We are not the ones in the everyone but armie train, you "charmies" are. If you can call yourselves charmie and not timothee shippers, that's the more accurate term.

Hello, Anon:

Are you lost again, darling?

When did I ever say anything about throwing Armie away?

BTW, The plural form of “y’all” is “all y’all”. “Y’all” is singular. If you’re attempting to disguise your identity by using a ubiquitous American Southern colloquialism, at least use it correctly:

“… agree with Armie calling ALL Y’ALL a brood of pit vipers.”

Your preteen pretzel logic has apparently drawn the erroneous conclusion that we have abandoned Armie Hammer, which is wholly contradictory to this specific fandom (obviously), and that anyone standing next to Timothée Chalamet in a photo or video that’s blogged or reblogged in this fandom space on tumblr automatically MUST means we “ship” them instead, even when there’s nothing written or even implied in the photo to indicate anything of the sort in the blog or reblog. Not in any of mine, anyway.

Taking delight in the magical alchemy that comes from excellent casting in a production is not at all the same thing as your implication of wanting Tim and any and all of his current co-stars to live out your specific kinky fantasies. That’s where YOUR mind wants to go, Anon. Not mine.

Armie is quietly rebuilding his life in peace and privacy after the trauma of a calculated character assassination over the course of the last three years, beginning shortly after the announcement of his ugly divorce from the perpetrator of that specific crime. He thankfully still exists, despite her best efforts, even if we don’t see him with the same frequency as we once did. Understandably, he is staying out of the spotlight to focus on the things that truly matter to him.

Tim is working hard right now to promote various projects so he’s automatically just that much more visible. He happens to be featured in some of these projects with fellow actors so he will naturally be associated in some way with them in the media. These promotional events are noteworthy to Tim’s fans so photos and press regarding these events get blogged and reblogged, and he may indeed be seen in close proximity to one of his co-stars in these photos. If your brain equates any of that with “shipping” Tim with his other co-stars, that’s on you.

For me, there is only one co-star with whom Tim has a deep connection worthy of my attention in this space. One.

However they choose to define that connection is up to them and none of my business. I’m just happy for them that they found each other.

Love is what brings us together in the Charmiesphere.

Love is love is love.

That’s it. That’s all.

Thanks for your comment. ✨💚🚢💙✨

[spacingoutforever]

hello fellow freaks and ghoul-lovers,

as someone who is active on the ghoulcy side of tumblr right now (and everything fallout related) i just wanted to introduce myself!!

my name is dani, pronouns she/her. i am 24 yrs old and a university student :)

although i am not presently a writer, artist or creator, i admire all of those who are and will repost/like/follow back as much as possible!!

you are all so incredibly talented & hard working like wow 😭

so yes, this is a fan account only, and YES i do repost nsfw content on occasion.

just a heads up if it bothers anyone!

my DM's are always open, but i live in the southern hemisphere so my timezone may be wacky for some people, sorry ><

anyways!! if you're seeing this, i hope you're having a great day, and nice to meet you 🤍

[onenicebugperday]

hi onenicebug!

was wondering if you knew what this silly fellow might be? location is in British Columbia Southern Interior, Canada (map included just in case :) hopefully thats a specific enough range?)

Hello! Looks like a mottle Euchlaena moth, which is a type of geometer :)

[herpsandbirds]

✨Hi! I saw this little guy near my house this morning, but it doesn't look like any of the other birds I usually see. Its body shape reminds me of a pigeon, but the size and coloration threw me off. If possible, would you be able to identify it?

Hello, yes, I know this fellow.

Mourning Dove (Zenaida macroura), family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, commonly found across much of the United States, southern Canada, and northern Mexico