#hell im still fucking high on that feeling whenever i think of it. its saving me

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

you ever just make a mistake so bad you gotta call in sick for a day

like it's nothing bad it's just that most classes are Gone™ and so are most teachers so we could choose between 3 projects for this week, right?

and my french teacher asked us to please please please choose the language project bc we're literally the only ones who *can* do that, and we were like yeah okay; except when i did sign up for it it was my last choice bc as i learned then you could also choose art (working with clay) or a writing workshop (literally just for creative writing)

but i would have felt really bad if i hadn't chosen languages first bc i said i would so i made the horrible mistake of doing that. and now i sat through research on police violence in my country (interesting, important, but i've been there done that), a few hours' lecture on human rights (technically interesting but learned nothing new or practical) and making a poster for a chosen human right (at least i got to he creative but like. ughhh)

and also we're watching a film i hate (entre les murs) which might be a good film if i wasn't so demotivated and fucking tired and it's literally exhausting to watch and it doesn't have a plot and i have zero emotional investment or anything, and i read that one critic review which certainly makes it sound great but my tired annoyed ass needs at least SOME storytelling in a fucking film and it's been dragging on for over an hour and there's still an hour LEFT and i'm gonna fucking cry

and the best part?? we're gonna make fucking worksheets regarding the film's themes and topics and camera angles and shit (all interesting if the film was fucking so) and then next year some poor saps who make the mistake to go to that "soirée cinéma" can school analyze that film with our template. everyone loved that

AND MEANWHILE my friends got several hours to just write a short story and i got to beta read those (they were great and i love doing that but i'm bursting with jealousy you feel me) like i know that's my fault for not just going fuck it but. UGHHHHHHHHHHH

the good news is that i ranted enough about it that both my parents separately suggested to call me in sick tomorrow and that's genuinely gonna save my life. and i mean. we *are* supposed to stay home if we're not feeling well an this is a FUCKING PAIN

[alittlebitofinsanitea]

Head-Cannons for Jealous Kageyama, Suga, Iwaizumi, & Bokuto

request: hi! May I request hc's of iwazumi, bokuto, mattsun, suga, and kageyama on how they act when they're jealous? I couldn't find a character limit in your rules so feel free to do however many you like :) Have a good one lovely human <3

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Hi honey! So I didn’t write it but I'm going to be doing four per head-cannon! thank you for requesting! <3 These are gender neutral/no pronouns so I hope that’s ok, hope you enjoy! Also to everyone, requests are open!

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~Kageyama~

✰ you’ve been in class all day and finally the bell rings and its lunch

✰ you and a friend are sitting, talking about homework, eating, as one does during lunch. You normally sit with him because kags always plays volleyball during break, surprised? no.

✰ all sweet Kags wanted to do this lunch was to sit with his baby!!!

✰ he sees you sitting real close to this other guy, and what does his awkward ass do? FUCKING STARES AT YOU, clown to clown communication going on right here

✰ anyone coming into the cafeteria just sees him blocking the path with the smoke whirling around his head

✰ you finally turn around after feeling two burning holes in the back of your head and see him glancing between you and your friend

✰ dummy realizes you noticed him and turns bright red in embarrassment after noticing he has been staring at you for at least half the lunch period and he sprints

✰ this man ZOOOOOMS out of that room

✰ you, being the caring s/o you are, run after him to the best of your abilities, all the way to the vending machine

✰ by the time you get there, he’s already sipping on two milks, pouting, and bright red, poor thing

✰ you make eye contact with him as you sit down, him turning away to face a wall instead

✰ you poke his stomach and sides to get his attention, fully aware of how ticklish he is there

✰ “Y/N PLEASE!” he grits out in between fits of laughter

✰  “Why did you run out then?” you say as you cease your attack, snaking your arms around his waist

✰ his body relaxes into yours and returns the hug, he buries his face into the top of your head as he mumbles

✰ “I know you know I can't hear you,” 

✰ he grunts back in response and mumbles again, just loud enough that you can hear that one, specific, word

✰ “YOU WERE JEALOUS!!!!!!” you scream so loud he jumps back a little

✰ he burrows his head into your neck in an attempt to hide from you, not the best play he could have made, but there was an attempt, he tried

✰ you move one hand to pat his head and the other stays on his back, “Kags, I don’t know why you would be jealous, I’m just friends with (Friends/N), I don’t like him like that, ok?”

✰ he straightens up and looks at you dead in the eyes, to anyone else he looks normal, but there's a little smile on his face that looks a little less creepier than usual

✰ he grabs you tight and you can hear the bell in the background, but you both ignore it and stay like that for a little longer

~Suga~

✰ everyone pretends that this man is the chillest, sweetest, calmest character in this show

✰ hell no

✰ he has as much crackhead energy radiating through his body as is possible without being a crackhead

✰ the two of you are at one of karasuno's practice matches against nekoma, and they have been trying that play with nishinoya as setter, and a few other ideas the coach came up with

✰ during a break between on of the games (which to your displeasure, have gone on forever, but you love seeing Suga play so you don't really mind) you decide to pull out your chemistry homework

✰ “why, and who made chemistry,” you say to yourself “I just want to have a little talk.”

✰ “Well I wouldn’t say a specific person invented it, but Robert Boyle is considered the first modern chemist,” you look to your left and see a tall nekoma player with bed hair

✰ you arch a brow, and get back to ‘working’, if you could call it that

✰ he sits next to you and offers a smirk and says, “Im Kuroo Tetsuro, if you want I can help with your homework if you want,”

✰ your nose scrunches up and you turn away from him

✰ “Don’t be sodium chloride,” he says as he scoots a little closer, but as he does that, you can feel the other side of you warm a little

✰ in the corner of your eye before you look to see what sat next to you, you see Suga, his eyes glaring straight at the rooster boy

✰ he drapes his arms on your shoulders and sets his head on yours and looks directly as kuroo, cold as ice, he tells him “She is fine, I can help her,” 

✰ the smile on his face does nothing to hide the fact that he’s not messing around 

✰ you pull him off of you to face him, giving him a little shove before telling him off,

✰ “I had it covered, it’s not like I was going to say yes, even though I probably need the help…”

✰ he raises his eyebrows at you, “I can help you, no problem!” he says sweetly, as if you both aren’t getting the same grades

✰ the next game is starting, signaled by the freak already on the court in their positions and the whistle blowing you give Suga a kiss on the cheek and tell him to go

✰ he smirks at you, and from then on in the match, whenever he spiked a ball, set a good toss, or dug anything, he looked to kuroo and directly pointed to where you sat

~Hajime Iwaizumi, (27), Athletic trainer~

✰ I don't even know what to do for this dude, no wait haha jk

✰ Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and you have been best friends for forever

✰ you guys are so close, sleepovers since you were little, you even made them an entire meal and movie night on the day they lost, lots of wet tissues and tear soaked blankets

✰ when you and Iwaizumi finally got together after year of pining after each other, nobody was more excited than Oikawa, nobody 

✰ now, you three are having a sleepover to celebrate being done with midterms and you made a big pillow fort to watch your favorite movie in, with popcorn and chocolate and all of that

 ✰ it's dark except for the light from computer screen, you can barely make out the faces to your right and left, and it's so late, you forgot who was on which side

✰ it's hard for you to fall asleep without Iwa anymore, so you grab the arm to your left and lift it up and snuggle into the warmth of who you thought was your boyfriend

✰ because you all are so close, Oikawa didn’t think twice about wrapping his arms around you, forgetting that Iwa was even there

✰ your boyfriend started to get red in the face, “Oikawa,” he warned, trying to make his best friend back off without making a scene

✰ Oikawa looks to him confused, “Chill out Iwa-chan! I know it's not godzilla but it's not that bad”

✰ Iwaizumi would have left it at that, but when you turned around and hooked your leg onto your current human pillow? Ohohoho, its over

✰ he grabs your waist and throws you over his shoulder, wrecking the little tent you made and leaving the third wheel of the trio in the rubble

✰ you cry out in protest, upset that your hours of work are now suffocating your other best friend

✰ you feel every step and he takes as he walks you both towards your room the air is tense, and you don’t know what to do

✰ you enter your bedroom, still being carried by him, and he drops you on the bed, and falls on top of you, letting out a noise of comfort as you squirm

✰ “Hajime please get of you’re squishing meee!” you wheeze out the last part

✰ he doesn’t verbally acknowledge you but he adjusts himself so you both are comfortable

✰ “Is this ok?” he asks quietly

✰ “yeah,” you reply, “It is.” 

✰ Neither of you seem to notice oikawa taking photos, and the next day, oikawa shows iwa, but not without a volleyball to the head 

✰ neither you nor oikawa know that's his screen on his phone

~Bokuto~

✰ When does this boy not get jealous, not because of you no! He trusts you with anything and everything, and he loves showing you off

✰ that is until all the attention goes to you and he thinks everyone is going to take you away, especially when he goes emo mode, he’s about ready to give you up to anyone :( but you never go obviously

✰ akaashi managed to convince you to become manager, he said that it would come in handy when he started to become self destructive

✰ and it worked! You were able to save a lot of games and akaashi’s mental health, for a while that is

✰ today was the first day of spring high finals, teams everywhere, balls flying, and Bokuto was anxious, and it was showing

✰ as the team walks to the court, you grab Bokuto's hand and you grab it tight letting him know you are there for him

✰ he began to feel less tense and calmed down once again 

✰ the game started and it was going smoothly, the other team wasn't able to shut down any Fukurōdani’s attacks

✰ that is until, the other team's captain started flirting with you

✰ whenever he makes a point, he would say some gross ass pick up line, or wink at you, and even worse, he would make sure to meet eyes with Bokuto, every, single, time

✰ Bokuto’s shots have gotten worse, he's hitting into the blockers, the net, and even missing the ball completely

✰ it physically hurts you when this happens to your boyfriend, and at this point you are sick of it, and have started to grow annoyed at the creepily corny capitan 

✰ you whisper to the coach to call Bokuto in who is currently hanging onto akaashi, asking him not to set to him anymore

✰ the coach calls a time out, and signals the rest of the team to stay on the court, Bokuto doesn’t even notice the rest of his teammates standing still around him

✰ when he reaches the bench you grab him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes and say “Baby, kick his ass.”

✰ you move your head to face the other captain and smile, then you grab Bokuto's face and kiss him, hard

✰ the time out ends and your team is flushed with embarrassment, but Bokuto was hyped up jumping all over the court, and ready to destroy the other team

✰ (they won the rest of the set no points lost)

[sckyie]

song: streetcar by daniel caesar

word count: 2.6k

genre + warnings: angst to fluff; reminiscing in past heartbreak, breakdowns, timeskips, swearing, someone gets slapped

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: here's part 2 to driver's license,, i hope this was okay >~< i had to include a new song to the mix (its going into the playlist) soooo enjoy :) also my ratio for angst to fluff is TERRIBLE im sorry

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to your best friend, you had became so distant from everyone. Knowing you might've ruined one of the best friendships shook you. Lately you'd been driving around past curfew just to keep your mind off him. Passing all the street lights just felt like you were driving down memories. 

That flickering light at the corner where Oikawa had helped you after crashing your bike into a pole. Or that bright cool light by the park where you, Iwa, and Oikawa first started playing volleyball. Or that one littered with stickers where you told both the boys that they better remember you when they were famous. 

Apathy overcame your entire being. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, who knew heartbreak could have this effect on a person? It was hard going to school, avoiding Oikawa in every hall, dodging Iwaizumi on your way out, and even trying to ignore Kasumi was too much. It hurt like hell but you didn't want to know what Oikawa had to say. More so, you didn't want to hear what he was going to say, you knew what he'd tell you.

Two months until graduation.

It had been a over a month since that confession. The bright girl everyone used to know dulled out. No one knew why nor how it happened. It only stung between you and the boy you knew you could never love. Oikawa and Kasumi remained together despite the lingering thought of those words you said to him. 

"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" The crack in your voice shook those hidden feelings within you.

"Why not!" Oikawa held onto your forearm, restricting you from running away.

"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You screamed as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Oikawa froze at your words, unable to process them.

"You...loved me?" He asked.

"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You shoved him away from you. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again."

Yet, you never spoke to him regardless. The sudden break between you two effected Iwaizumi as well. Although he had no part in the situation, he was torn who's side to take. He knew your secret but he couldn't betray both his best friends. Seeing you two spilt was like watching glass break. It's sudden, scattered, irreplaceable but if you tried to fix it, you could cut yourself or ruin the glass even more.

Oikawa took your last words as your goodbye. What was worse was that, he couldn't bring himself to find the right words to say to you. How could his best friend love him and never tell him? He never did end up telling Kasumi that he loved her. He began to question his feelings about her and well, you. 

One more month until graduation.

"Hey Y/n, are you going to the third year dance?" Hanamaki taps your shoulder as you doodle on your notes. You shook your head, knowing well enough how you'd have to see Oikawa and Kasumi together. "Come on, we're all going."

"No thanks," You smiled. A sudden ache in your chest hit you as you looked back at your notes. "I don't like dances."

"Liar," Matsukawa joins into the conversation. "What happened to you?"

"Hm?" You looked up, tilting your head at him.

"Just come along, we'll drive," He suggests. "You don't need a date. Just tag along with he boys and Kasumi."

"Again no thanks," You turned him down. "I'm not on good terms with Oikawa right now. I don't want to see him."

"Well, then let's all four go together then. Me, you, Mattsun, and Iwa," Makki says. "We lowkey miss having you around."

"Yeah, come on, we don't have to go with them," Matsukawa agreed.

"Promise we won't hang around them?" You ask solemnly. They nod at you, prompting you to let out a long sigh. "Fine. I don't have a dress, do you guys want to come with to find one?" 

Two weeks until graduation.

You stood in line with the three boys to get inside the ballroom for the dance. You carefully adjusted Matsukawa's corsage that matched your dress. Kasumi and Oikawa had came later, waiting farther back in line. He rests his hand on her waist as he examined the people in line when he spots you. This was the first time in forever since he could see you clearly. He had only caught glimpses of you through the halls, never seeing your face.

Was that the reason the guys didn't want to ride with him? For you? It hit a bit knowing they chose you over him but he knew how you haven't hung out with anyone lately. Always avoiding people, never trying to talk to anyone. 

Inside the ballroom, you and the boys sat together at your assigned table. The songs seemed redundant, leaving you four to occasionally get up to dance. It wasn't until a slow song that caught your attention. You had your head leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder when you spotted Oikawa and Kasumi walking center stage.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," You say, standing up. You adjusted your dress before walking away to the outside patio. The muffled sound of the slow song was heard as you rested your arms on the railing. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the streets nearby. It was hard to drown out the feelings of Oikawa after seeing him with Kasumi. You feel the pain well up, trying your best to resist crying.

You open your eyes as you feel something being placed on your shoulders. "You'll get sick out here," Iwaizumi says, standing beside you. "You're thinking of him aren't you?"

"Can we not talk about him?" You breathed, tears slowly rolling down your face. "I just don't want to think about how bad I fucked up."

"Well," Iwaizumi looked down at the ground. "Will you dance with me?" You turned to see him holding out his hand for you. Taking his offer, Iwa holds you close as the music played. He let you cry in his arms, knowing well enough that you needed this. Having held all your pain behind driving, you couldn't show how much you were in pain. 

"Thank you Iwa," You sniffled into his chest. 

"I'm always here for you," He smiled. "You're like a little sister to me...It pains me to see you all dull and hurt...When Makki asked you to come out with us, I didn't expect you to agree but I'm glad you did." 

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

Oikawa held Kasumi close, carefully swaying back and forth together. With her head resting on his chest, he was able to see through the patio window. He spots you and Iwaizumi dancing but for some reason it stung in his chest to see that. Why is he hurt? He's with Kasumi and he loves her, right?

Graduation day.

A group of cheers goes around the ceremony as your final day in high school is finally over. You greet your old classmates one more time, saving your close friends for last. For some reason, all the pain you previously carried had faded away. You approach the gate to meet with your friends for the last time before you go off your separate paths. Makki and Mattsun agreed to text you more to keep up with each other.

Iwaizumi had hugged you once last time, telling you to do your best. You smiled for the first time in a while. It was strange but Iwa was glad to see you starting to move on. You and him agreed to update each other on your mental healths and to hang out whenever you'd visit. Then it was the one you dreaded.

Saying goodbye to Oikawa, it'll be the last time you'll see him. You waited patiently for him as he was caught up by some fans and Kasumi. When he did manage to leave the underclassmen, he spotted you waiting. "Hey babe, can you go on ahead? I want to talk to Y/n," He says to his girlfriend. She nods happily, walking by you as she left. 

"Hey," He stops a few feet away from you, scared to step any closer.

"Hi," You said. "I have a few words for you." You let out a small chuckle, leading him to believe it was something good.

"Good or bad?" He laughed.

"Well," You started. "I just wanted to say goodbye for the last time...It was nice being your friend and I know how rough it turned out in the end...I'm sorry for not telling you before how I felt. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and that you'd fall for someone else. Kasumi is a great girl and you two are amazing together...I really wish you guys the best...I know you'll do outstanding in volleyball like the king you are. You better not forget us when you're famous..Listen, I have to go before I'm late, so this is...it...Goodbye Tooru." You wiped a tear from your cheek, smiling at him. You quickly turned around, disappearing into the city. 

"Wait! Y/n!" He rushes after you, only to get lost in the crowd of third years saying their goodbyes. Oikawa felt tears well up in his eyes as he desperately looked around for you. "You didn't let me say..." He whispered to himself.

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi join each other to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Iwa scrolls on his phone waiting for the food while Oikawa looked at the booth you two would always get. "Hey Iwa-chan?" He asks. "Do you know where Y/n decided to go after graduation?" Iwaizumi stopped scrolling to think back at the third year dance.

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

"Anything," Iwa replied.

"I'm moving away from Miyagi immediately after graduation," You sniffled. "Remember when we were kids and we said we wanted to live in Tokyo or Kyoto?"

"Y-yeah," He was a little shaken up hearing that you'll be leaving so soon. 

"My uncle just moved to Kyoto and he offer me a room there...and I said yes," You started to trace circles on his back. "It's by that college I wanted to go to and they have good jobs there and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You'll do amazing out there," Iwa chuckled. "Just promise you'll visit sometime?" He knew how much you needed to be away from Miyagi. Although it pained him, he knew it was only for the best.

"No," Iwa lied. "I haven't seen her. She hasn't texted in a while.

Three months after graduation.

You got into a cab on your way to your new job at a café. You stared out the window, admiring the new city you live in. Learning to adjust and work around the city was tough. The feeling of calling Kyoto home was strange, knowing that it wasn't. 

Ever since you had said goodbye to Oikawa, things in his life changed. He believed losing you wasn't fair, not knowing where you'd gone always haunted him. He had broken up with Kasumi over the guilt held over his head. Always thinking about you when he was with her wasn't right. With you being gone, his only priority became volleyball. 

You however, had let go of those old feelings you held onto. That last goodbye satisfied you, letting you sleep at night and allowed you to love yourself more. You've grown so much from dull slump you were stuck in for weeks. Though living in a different environment made it feel like you weren't even there.

Oikawa roamed the streets slowly approaching different shops along the sidewalk. He had some free time before the practice match he had, so it wouldn't hurt to explore, right?

That's when it happened.

You closed the door to your cab, turning towards the café's direction. Your eyes lock onto a set of familiar pupils. Frozen in time, the two of you never exchanged a word yet, suddenly a rush of emotions filled you both.

Pain, anger, fear, regret, almost everything you felt in the past came back to you seeing him. Standing before you, the man you once loved. The man you might still love.

You snapped out of your thoughts, walking towards him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Y/n what-" You raised your hand, harshly impacting Oikawa's cheek. His hand flies up to his face, holding the spot you smacked.

"You seriously broke up with Kasumi for me?" You growled. "Y-you're an idiot y'know? She was good to you too! Also ignoring Iwa for volleyball? I told you not to-"

"You kept track of me?" He whispered, a slight smile creeping on his face.

"W-Well obviously! I ask Iwa about you from time to time," You muttered. You looked up to Oikawa and saw him grin down at you.

Before you could say anything else, Oikawa puts his two hands on the sides of your cheeks. He pulls your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. You tense at the action, gripping his wrists. He doesn't pull away until you settle into the kiss.

Your hands melt away from his wrists and reach for his torso. Your lips moved together in sync, almost as if it were a familiar feeling. He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours. "You never let me say my goodbye," Oikawa snickered. "You said goodbye to me then disappeared without a trace."

"Sorry," You blushed. His hands move to your waist, still holding you close to him.

"I wanted to tell you that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so late in telling you and I'm sorry for being caught up with Kasumi. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't talk to you...I fucked up for not seeing how much you- well how much I loved you...I know this is all late and you probably don't want to hear any of this but-"

You tiptoed and kissed his nose, making him stop. "How'd you find out you loved me?" You looked at him curiously.

"I was driving down your street and all the old streets we'd walk through," He started. "It reminded me of you and then I saw that white streetcar. The one that is always parked by the laundromat? It made me realize how much you meant to me."

"Seriously? That old junk car?" You laughed.

"Hey, it reminded me of you okay, just seeing it whenever we hungout and passed it," Oikawa squeezed your hip, making you chuckle at him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Your laughter ceases as you look up at him. "I had to learn how to drive on the highway on my own, jerk," You brought up.

"Is that a yes?" He smirked.

"...No...Maybe," You squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me ramen."

"Wait how'd you know how I've been these last few months?" Oikawa pulls away from your hold.

"Oh Iwa was the first to know I was moving, I asked him to check on you every now and then. I just wanted to make sure your pretty face doesn't do anything stupid. You did by the way, you did some stupid shit," You grinned. "Hey are you hungry? I can get you something from the café for free." You turned away from him, heading to your job.

"Hey you can't just insult me then leave, come here," He runs after you stopping you a few steps away from work. Oikawa plants a rough kiss on your lips before looking down at you. "The only stupid thing I did was not tell you I loved you sooner."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs

[mingot-studios]

Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)

 How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point

The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it

Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)

Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?

The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL

my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)

The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English

The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown  over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials

The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play

I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom

I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months

I have so much energy right now but no outlets

I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year

I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one

Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything

The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems

So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install

I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me

These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days

The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids

Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life

Capitalism

i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)

I have 0 patience and i hate it

I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made

i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself

the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics

i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change 

having gender panic

I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people

ive become a noodle limbed nerd

Ive gotten super skinny

I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it

everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting

I feel trapped and scraed 

The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry

I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further

I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress

I cant take crticisim even though i know its true

The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter

Star Vs wasted potential

the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the  end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club

I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle

[orionwhispers]

Sweet Disaster// Tommy Shelby

(A/N - hello. so basically, i had a dream about chris evans, and then i modified it into this tommy imagine. it was supposed to be a drabble but i physically cannot write anything less than 12k words so thats great. honestly this is very similar to ‘fools gold’ but hey, im in the mood for some angsty fluff and fighting with our main guy tom. next tommy imagine will be the lolita wedding and that will be the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed. thanks for everything, PLS let me know what u think. see you soon! stay safe!) 

trigger warnings: fighting, tommy being a douche, everyone being a dumbass, tommy getting jealous and implied sex.

You saw him on a Saturday night, at a bar on the outskirts of the city.

It had been three months, and you had hoped you would have managed to slip through the cracks; pass through the night like the foxes that roamed in the back alleys - but you had never been that lucky, especially not when he was involved.

It was your friend’s birthday, and you tipped back glass after glass of expensive champagne that bubbled and burned at the back of your throat. The lights were blinding, twinkling chandeliers and the smell of cigarettes and french perfume, something like bergamot and vanilla, lingering in the air.

Your dress was cherry red, your hair tied back with a sequinned headband and your lips and cheeks painted in rouge, but you had never felt so awful. It had been bad enough trying to find something to wear, the contents of your wardrobe tipped all over your floor, a mess of mesh and feather and lace, almost everything reminding you of him, as if he had been stitched right into the fabric. You had ended up curled in a ball on the floor, wiping your tears with the Chanel blouse he had bought back from a business trip in Paris.

Stupid fucking boys.

You could hear the girls talking around you, high pitched giggles and exaggerated voices as they gossiped about something or other that faded into static around you. You had spent the past three months holed up in your flat, only leaving for work or the street market on Sunday, stocking up with bread and wine and cheese, everything carb filled and rich to fill the hole in your heart. 

You weren’t used to the company of others or the hustle and bustle of a crowded room, and you sat back against the plush cherry velvet seats, dreaming of climbing into bed and devouring the slab of dark chocolate you had been saving.

Your close friend Emma, the one who knew the reason you were staring into space and not laughing and drinking with the rest of the girls, placed a manicured hand on your shoulder, and tilted her head slightly.

“How are you holding up?”

You snapped out of your trance.“I’m fine. I’m sorry I’m not much fun right now.”

“Nonsense.” She pushed you lightly, her voice as soft and playful as ever. “At least you came out! It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Yeah - I’m sure everyone missed having me bawl like a baby and mope around.”

She elbowed you, “Stop bloody feeling sorry for yourself and have a shot! Christ! You can spend the rest of the week wrapped up in your duvet, but tonight - suck it up, and have a drink!”

She handed you a glass of something dark, and you brought it to your lips, tipping it into your throat with a wince. It felt as though you were drinking petrol.

“What the bloody hell was that?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care. All that matters is that it’s top shelf and it came from those fellas over there.” She pointed towards a group of men huddled around the bar. They were shooting quick glances and sly winks towards you and your friends. Sure they were relatively attractive, most likely handsomely rich and dressed in suits that looked finely tailored - but they made your skin crawl.

You hated the way that you would always be comparing other men to him, and you especially hated how they would always come up short.

An hour later and whatever liquor was coursing through your bloodstream had done its job, and everything seemed infinitely brighter. You even found yourself laughing at jokes and stories that you only caught halfway through, the alcohol wonderfully dizzying your brain.

You were so caught up in the rush of being drunk and finally feeling somewhat happy for the first time in forever; that you didn’t realise you had caught the attention of one of the men across the bar. You felt him sidle in next to you, following his friends who had snaked their way into your booth, their arms slung around the girls shoulders, whispering sweet little sentiments into their ears.

“Can I get you a drink?” He asked, so close to you that you could smell the sour whiskey on his tongue, your nose wrinkling.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Perhaps you had spent so long being ‘Tommy Shelby's girl’ that you had forgotten what it was like when you were being hit on. You had spent so many nights safely tucked under his arm, his hands possessively wrapped around your body, an unspoken threat sent out to everyone and anyone around you - it had been a long time since a man had tried his luck with you.

Perhaps you were so infatuated with him that you never noticed anybody else. Your mind forever filled with visions of oceanic eyes and three piece suits, his Birmingham accent ringing through your ears like a gospel. He invaded all of your thoughts and infiltrated your dreams, and you loathed and loved him for it. The way that he filled your brain and heart like smoke, clouding your decisions and judgments, like some kind of magical elixir, blurring everything but the shape of him.

The man beside you didn’t concede. He cleared his throat, running a finger over the rim of your glass, ignoring the way your eyebrows furrowed and lip curled.

“Let me get you a drink, pretty girl.”

Pretty girl.

It sounded so wrong. It was never pretty girl. It was - darling, sweetheart, princess. It was - my love, honey, kitten. It was said teasingly and exasperatedly, it was whispered in your ear and buried into the space between your thighs. It was never said in the sticky corner of a club, from the greedy mouth of a stranger undressing you with his eyes.

“I’m - ” Taken. But you weren’t, not anymore, and you hated the way the thought of him made your lip wobble. It’s had been three goddamn months, why did the memory of him still make your body go up in flames?

Emma stiffened beside you, waving a dismissive hand at the gentleman speaking to her, and turned to face you and your unmoving suitor.

“We’re alright here, love. Thanks.”

A flicker of annoyance. His fingers tightening until his knuckles turned white, his tongue running across the ridge of his front teeth. He obviously didn’t take rejection well, and he was doing a shitty job at hiding it.

“Are you sure? It looks like she could do with another drink.”

You swallowed thickly, eyes rolling back at the way he dismissed you and spoke as though you were incapable of thinking for yourself.

“I’m fine.” Your words were curt and clipped, a clear indication of your disinterest, but he refused to back down.

“You shouldn’t be here all alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Really? What kind of man would leave a pretty little thing like you all by herself?”

“The kind of man that would punch you in the fucking teeth for speaking to her like that.”

You froze.

Oh Christ.

A million irreverent, evil, blasphemous phrases hurtled inside of your mind, and you knew that if Polly somehow ever caught wind of what you were thinking, you would be on the receiving end of a sharp slap around the head.

He was here. Of bloody course he was. He had a knack for showing up out of the blue and knocking all of the wind from your lungs.

It hurt like an open wound, feeling his eyes on you, the same ones that had looked at you with love and humour and gentleness, and not being able to fully meet his gaze - knowing just how much it would hurt if you did.

“She’s with me.”

His voice was firm, laced with the same sort of dismissive irritability he used to use whenever somebody tried their luck with you. This time was different however, you couldn’t roll your eyes and kiss him, you couldn’t put your head in the crook of his neck or mutter that you were his under the golden chandeliers, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hip.

You couldn’t do any of that anymore, because you weren’t.

The man seemed pick up on the tension, clicking his tongue slyly, unaware of the consequences his words would have. “Doesn’t seem like she is.”

“Get the fuck out.”

The penny must have dropped for the rest of the boys. The booth going silent as they realised just who the handsome shadowy figure towering over them was. You felt them slowly inch away, head down and gazes low, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. A few hushed mumbles of “holy shit! That’s Tommy Shelby! One of those blinders!” hurtling around the tables beside you, not completely drowned out by clatter of the jazz band.

“I have every right to be here.” The ballsy stranger said, stiffening up beside you. His spine curled as he tried to make himself bigger. “Who says I have to leave?”

You huffed at his words, exhaling like a balloon. “That’s enough.” You didn’t want to cause a scene. You were exhausted, the night taking such a sudden turn you felt like you had whiplash, and the alcohol sat deep in your gut like a rock. You just wanted to get home, away from the man you wanted so badly your fingers ached to hold him, and crawl into your bed with your cat and a mountain of chocolate.

“Well, considering I own the fucking place, I think that I do - and if you don’t, I’ll shoot you.”

That seemed to do it.

You kept your eyes focused on the mans paling face, the grim look washing over him like salty sea air, you didn't dare turn and face the man you could feel burning holes in your neck.

“I.. I...” The man spluttered almost incoherently, rising to his feet and stumbling out from beside you. From behind you you heard Emma giggling coyly into her glass. “Sorry.” He mumbled quickly, his knees buckling when Tommy clapped a hand around his shoulder, holding him in place like a dog.

Tommy’s voice was still, almost too controlled, and you knew that his words were deadly. “If I see you around these parts again, I’ll put a fucking bullet in your skull.”

He gulped and nodded, darting into the sea of bodies in the crowd.

You kept your eyes low. Fumbling with the pearl clasps of your purse you squeezed Emma’s hand in parting and rose to your feet, wanting to leave as painlessly as possible, not even daring to look up at the face staring you down.

“I should go.” Was all you said, sliding out of the booth and onto the marbled floor. You saw the way the rest of the girls were watching the scene unfold before them, and you knew that by Monday you would have a lot of questions to answer, but right now you needed nothing but the safety of your flat.

You didn’t even let your shoulders brush against him. You coiled around him like a snake, your feet moving so fast your embroidered shoes were nothing but a blur of scarlet. You only made it to the hallway, he let you go far enough that you were in private before he reached for you, a familiar, large hand curving around the dip in your shoulder. You hated the way your body reacted, goosebumps rising to his touch unconsciously.

“(Y/N), wait.”

Your name on his tongue was sweeter than honey and richer than wine, it sounded so right that it hurt. It had been so long since you had heard him call you by your name, so long since he had spoken to you that your gut was twisting inside of you, your whole body aching for him to do nothing but repeat that word like a mantra.

You inhaled, thinking of a way out. It was too dangerous, you were playing with fire and you couldn’t get burnt, not again.

“I’m sorry — I didn’t know, it’s Jessica’s birthday and we - ” You hated how you stumbled over your words. You had never felt so uncomfortable around him and it made your skin crawl. You had kissed him under the stars, laughed with him in the corner of a private party, made love to him in every room of his fucking mansion, and now he felt like a stranger.

You knew what he looked like when he woke up, with his sleepy eyes and tousled hair. You knew what he looked like when had spent the night doing something unholy, you had cleaned his knuckles and kissed his wounds as you sat pressed up against him in the tub, his hands wrapped around your waist. You’d stood by his side, your hands intertwined in the middle of some expansive ballroom, and listened to him sweet-talk his way into a new business deal, all the while stroking his thumb over yours. You had seen him vulnerable, pulling you so close to his chest that it was like you were bound together, whispering to you how he loved you, how he couldn’t live without you.

But he still let you go.

He moved in front of you, leaving you with no choice but to meet his eyes. He looked good, but that was a given, he always did, no matter the circumstances. He looked so... soft. He always seemed that way around you, his eyes getting a little bit kinder, the harshness of his words dipped in sugar, even the sharpness of his jaw looked inviting and gentle, practically begging you to wrap your palm around it.

You bit your tongue. You were being ridiculous. You were seeing things that weren’t there. It was over between the two of you, he had made that very clear. You were grasping at straws and all it was going to do was hurt you.

He spoke suddenly, his thick accent cutting through the silence that felt so loud. “It’s alright. Only really been ours since last night, there were... problems with the last owners.”

Despite everything you felt the ghost of a smile tugging on the edge of your lips, immediately knowing what ‘problems’ he was referring to.

“Arthur?” You asked.

“Yes.” He said with a small grin. “Arthur.”

A moment passed. The air around you feeling all too hot and all to cold at once. It had been a long time since you had seen one another, and both of you were caught up in appreciating such familiar beauty up close. You had missed the small things about him, like the slight curl of his hair and the veins in his neck, you could remember running your lips across the curve and dip of his throat.

You were treading in dangerous waters. It wouldn’t be long until the current pulled you under, and you weren’t quite sure how much longer you could keep a rational mind. You inhaled, flittering your eyes to meet his in some kind of signal of parting, pulling your clutch tighter to your body as an attempt to keep yourself grounded. “I should go. It was good to see you, Tommy.”

You spun on your heel, heading for the large golden doors that led outside. Fresh air would clear your mind, the stars and the velvet night would be good for clearing out all of the junk rattling around in your skull, but you barely got two steps forward before he spoke, already knowing his next words before he even opened his mouth.

“Let me drive you home.”

He spoke so surely, addressing you the way he would one of his brothers or Johnny, as if he knew what was best for you. Once upon a time you would have believed that he did, let him grasp you by the wrists and drag you to the end of the world if he asked nicely, those fucking baby blues and pink lips dulling any warning sirens in your head.

Even now, after everything, you knew that he would never put you in danger, that he would always protect you. And it was with the knowledge of that striking your heart like lightning, you knew that you were still hopelessly, undoubtedly in love with him - not that you ever thought differently, but you had done a damned good job of pushing your feelings away.

“You’ve had a lot to drink,” He said, “and I wouldn’t even let you out on those fucking streets by yourself stone cold sober.”

You pursed your lips. “I’m not drunk, and you don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m driving you home.”

You looked up at him through your painted lashes, disarming him in a million different ways you didn’t even realise. You were oblivious to the fact that his breath felt trapped in his lungs.“You and I both know that’s not a good idea, Tommy.”

“Cmon. Get your things.”

You sidestepped away, pushing the bottom of your heel deeper into the champagne coloured carpet. “No Tommy, I’m not a child! I don’t need your help.”

He rolled his eyes, something akin to fond exasperation rising to his cheeks. You felt your heart drop and flutter like it was a sparrow inside of you, you had never thought you would see that face again, and it hurt how something so simple could twist and mould you in his hands like clay.

He pressed his hands to the small of your back, pushing you forward.

“I don’t care if you don’t want my help. I’m doing it anyway.”

You huffed. Too tired and drunk and confused to put up a real fight.“Fine.” He smiled coyly and his smug attitude made you click your teeth, running a hand through the curls in your hair, not stopping the childish retort on the edge of your tongue. “Prick.”

You felt his hand swat at you, dangerously close to the hem of your dress and you were certain that your cheeks were the same colour as the candles flickering on the tables below. It was such a playful, tender thing to do, and so horribly familiar - memories of his hands on you, pinching and teasing and digging in, a way of communicating without words, something so intimate and personal, something that only the two of you knew.

You wondered if he felt the same way. You wondered if he was reminded of the past, of peach moons and starlight kisses and strawberry lipstick, but as always he remained impassive, as poker faced as always as he strolled down the hall, pushing open the wide brass doors and waiting for you to pass through, him trailing behind you, like always.

———————————————————————

Through your hazy eyes the moon almost looked pink, like a spotlight shining down on you, illuminating the both of you as Tommy’s car purred down the streets, like a black cat stalking under the cover of darkness.

It smelt like him.

Like cigarettes and sin and mint and woodsmoke. You were reminded of driving at midnight with the windows down, his hand wrapped around your thigh, his eyes anywhere but the road. You thought of sticky skin and leather seats and the smell of sex, breathless little laughs and the feel of his teeth biting down on your top lip.

You stared at the polish on your fingernails, hoping for some kind of distraction from the man beside you. It wasn’t far to your flat, and you prayed that the drive home would be as hitch free as possible.

“Had a good night?” Tommy asked, looking over at you from behind the wheel. He’s not even sure what he’s saying, his usually mechanical brain almost short circuiting because you’re finally next to him again. Words and phrases seem tasteless and meaningless, but he wants to savour as much of you as he can. He knows it makes him hypocritical, especially given everything he’s put you through, but he’s never really been very conventional with his love.

“It was alright.”

“Friends from work?”

“Yeah. It was Jessica’s birthday, she wanted to get drunk, you know how it can be.”

“And that...that man - ?” He cleared his throat, hoping that his words came off breezier than they sounded in his head, pretending as if the thought of you with somebody else didn’t feel like a noose around his neck. “Who was he?”

“Just some stupid twat.”

Your words weren’t doing much to quell the fiery flicker of anger inside of him, half of his brain telling him to turn the car around and put a razor blade through the fuckers eye - but one glance over at your sleepy, beautiful face and all of his jealousy fades into mere smoke.

None of it matters.

Nothing will ever matter more than you.

“I shouldn’t have even been out tonight, but Emma practically dragged me.”

Emma. The name rings a bell. He flips through a mental picture book of everyone you’ve spoken about, and finally lands on the glamorous, dark skinned, velvet haired vixen that you called your best friend.

Memories come flooding back.

The nights you would spend with her when he was too busy with work. How in the darkness of his office with nothing but an empty feeling in his chest and glass of bourbon beside him, the phone would ring and cut through the silence.

He’d roll his eyes when Emma spoke quickly down the line, words slurred and filled with giggles as she would explain the drunken shenanigans you had both fallen into. He’d drive through the night and the dim city streets, his mind for once not filled with business deals or money, instead his heart tugging at the thought of his doe eyed, honey lipped girl waiting for him in the city.

“I think she had too much to drink.” Emma would say, clambering into a taxi cab she had managed to hail, teetering in her tall satin shoes. “I wanted to take her home with me, but she was causing such a big fuss and asking for you - couldn’t bloody say no.”

Outside the club his voice would be stern and his stare would be solid. Clipped, quick words to the doormen, feeling you press your cold nose into the base of his throat, mumbling something incoherent about how pretty he was. He’d scold you fondly. Settle you down in the back seats of his car and cover you up with his jacket, smiling ever so softly at the way you cuddled into the warmth and the familiar smell.

He thought of how lonely his nights had been without you.

“How is she?”

“Fine. Everyone is just fine.”

But how are you? He wants to ask, but he has a feeling that no matter the answer he’ll still end with a bullet in his gut, so he lets the silence engulf the both of you, nothing in the air but unspoken tension and the soft purr of the engine.

He had an idea. Something conniving and crafty, something that he’s been wanting to do since the night he told you that it wasn’t safe to be with him, the night he told you to leave. Thomas Shelby has always been a strong, level headed man, but something about you just makes him crumble. You have a way of twisting around him, snaking around his thoughts and feelings like a vine, and he gives himself up wholly.

He would never put you in a position you were uncomfortable with, but he can’t help the claw in his gut when he thinks of how long it’s been since you’ve been apart. He can smell the sweet liquor and perfume on you, can see the way your eyes are glossed ever and your hair is mussed. You’re tired, and after the way that goddamn leech of a man had been fawning over you Tommy is in no mood to leave you alone, he likes knowing that you’re safe, it’s the only thing that makes him able to sleep at night.

He glanced over to you, watching as you yawned into your palm, your soft, pretty eyes looking at the stars and the moon and his decision was made for him.

“You missed the turn.” You said a few moments later, perking up a little in your seat.

“Hmm?”

“You missed it. You should have turned left back there.”

He doesn’t say anything, and you’re pretty sure you know the reason why. Despite the part of your body that is sparked like a match at the thought of spending the night with him, you also know that it is too dangerous, that the two of you together are fire and gasoline.

“No. No, Tommy. I’m not staying over with you.”

“Yes you are. You can stay in a guest room - it’ll give you time to sleep off that hangover.”

“I’m hardly drunk.”

“Well, when we get home you can walk in a straight line for me, eh?”

“It’s not my home.”

That hurt.

He ignored you, feeling the familiar bite of irritation, hating that he wasn’t the same man to you that he once was. He could feel his tone getting desperate, and under any other circumstance he would be furious at being so weak, but never around you. “Just stay. Tonight? For me. I’ll sleep better knowing you’re not getting into any trouble.”

“Tommy Shelby never sleeps.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, sighing in defeat. Tommy smiled, and realised as the car lurched over the bridge that’ll take you back where you both belong that he’s the happiest he has been in a long time.

—————————————————————

His house was as intimidating as ever, even more so under the thick blanket of the night. The architecture looked gothic, the sprawling roof and high chimneys almost seeming menacing as the car pulled up along the gravel, the low sound of the rocks crackling like a fire.

It almost felt strange. A house you had stepped foot in hundreds of times, suddenly feeling unfamiliar and mystifying. It was like the very first time you had seen the house a few years ago, how the large rooms and the tall ceilings seemed empty and dangerous, as though they housed a million secrets.

But since then it had been full of so much light. You had danced with him playfully, barefoot on the kitchen floor, with the windows open and soft jazz flittering in the air like sunlight. You had slept on the sofa in the drawing room, tangled up against his bare chest, the room littered with wine stained glasses and cigarette burns. You had laughed until you had cried, kissed him on the vivaciously on the mouth, sat through dozens of rowdy family dinners, shared coffee and pastry under the sleepy morning light - and now it felt as though a million years had passed.

You let him lead you inside. Keeping a safe distance and a wary eye as though he was an unpredictable stray dog that needed to be kept at arms length. He sensed your suspicion and ignored it, marching forward like a solider, pretending that your distrust didn’t make him feel awful. He hated to think of you on edge because of him, he hated how small it made him feel. He never wanted to be insignificant to you.

You noticed how bare it was in the hallway. Once upon a time the coat rack would have been filled with your furs and shawls, your pastel pink boots and his forever charcoal posh oxfords lined next to one another, a poignant reminder of their owners and the differences that you both shared.

It wasn’t just lack of your belongings, somehow the house seemed much emptier. It didn’t smell as worn as it usually did, the warmth of a recently lit fire didn’t dwell in the air and there were no keys or shoes by the front door. You knew that Mary kept a clean house, but this was something different, and a sour thought suddenly hit you.

“You haven’t been home much?” You tried to keep the jealousy out of your voice and remain level headed, but it was proving hard when you were feeling so nauseous at the thought of him sharing a bed with somebody else.

“Lot of late nights at the office.” He shrugged his jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around a hanger, his icy blue eyes catching yours. “Home didn’t feel like home anymore.”

You didn’t miss the implication in his words, but you chose to ignore it.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I thought I was here to sleep.”

“You are. But what kind of host would I be if I didn’t offer my guest a nightcap?”

You made a noise. Something halfway between a scoff and a huff.

“Tea? Whiskey?”

“No, I’m fine thank you.”

“What about hot chocolate? I still have some of that god awful strawberry stuff you love so much.”

Memories of sickly sweet strawberry kisses flash in your head. Images of Tommy wincing and groaning as if you had poisoned him. Belly laughs and pillow talk. All things you had tried so hard to forget.

“No. I don’t drink that anymore.”

He looked at you. There were no diamond chandeliers or dark corners or red velvet walls distorting your appearance, just the two of you stood opposite in the hallway of his mansion. He looked you up and down, not in a sleazy way, like the man at the bar who had so desperately wanted to get his hands under your dress but almost - longingly. There was something in his eyes. Swimming right in those ocean eyes was something you couldn’t quite make out, he opened his mouth to say something but before he could speak you heard the whine of the door above you.

“Mr Shelby! You’re back.” It was Mary, stood at the top of the stairs. Still dressed in her maids uniform despite the ungodly hour, she looked as pristine as ever, and you couldn’t think of a time you had seen the elderly woman without makeup on. She flew down the stairs, eager to offer Thomas anything she could, but she stopped dead in her tracks when she finally saw you.

“Miss (Y/L/N)!” She said, trying to control the shock in her voice. She hadn’t been there the day that you left, but it wouldn’t take a fool to guess what had happened between you and her boss. Just like you, she probably assumed you would never return to the Shelby house. After a moment she smiled kindly, regaining her composure after the initial shock. “It’s a pleasure to see you once again.”

“And you, Mary.”

“Oh! Mr Shelby I’ve made up your quarters and -” she stopped, realising what she was saying and she awkwardly shifted as she tried to change the subject. “Can I get you anything? Shall I bring you some tea? Or some wine?”

“Oh no. I’m fine thank you, really.”

“You know what Mary,” You heard Tommy say, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Can you fix us some drinks? Whatever’s in the cupboards is fine. Oh, and bring us those chocolates Ada brought from New York. We’ll be in the sitting room.”

“Tommy - ” You started, but he was already gone, walking through his house with renewed energy, and you strained your ears to hear the sentences he called out over his shoulder.

“One drink. For old times sake.”

“Ugh. You’ll be the death of me, Shelby.”

———————————————————————

It should have been awkward. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable and painful - but it wasn’t.

He lit a fire, something about the yellow flames and the crackling wood soothing you like warm milk. You missed the feel of his sofas, the ones that cost such an outrageous price that it made your eyes water, and you sunk into the cushions far more easily than you liked. Mary had made your favourite drink, and the situation felt so familiar that it was ridiculous, but it was more ridiculous how good everything felt.

He was as charming as ever. Giving you those side eye glances and cheeky smiles as he spoke, asking about your family and telling you stories of the trouble his brothers had been in. He moved around the room in a blur of navy, because as God would have it tonight of all nights he was wearing your favourite blue suit, the one that made him look so beautiful and powerful.

He didn’t ask about work, and you were glad, because you weren’t ready to tell him yet.

Perhaps an hour passed, the two of you dancing around each other, neither one wanting to be the one that crossed the line first. Your mind was blurry but you knew that this had gone on too long, you needed to pull the plug before it was too late, but as always, Tommy got there first.

“It feels like fate.” He said, his voice so much warmer than it had been a few moments before.

“What does?”

“Running into you tonight.”

You scoffed. “Please. Tommy Shelby doesn’t believe in fate.”

“I didn’t. Not until I met you.”

Your whole body felt like it had been set alight. He knew just what to say to get you to curl around his little finger. He was watching you intently, moving forward so his elbows were on his knees, as though he was desperate to hear your reply. He was being honest, more so than he had been in a long time, but your mind was too filled with the past to give into his sweet words.

“So,” You said, knocking back the last dregs of your drink. “Are you just going to pretend it never happened?”

“What?”

“Cut the crap, Tommy.” You snarked. “You know what I mean.” A breathless laugh. “God, this is ridiculous. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Don’t say that.”

You rubbed your forehead, massaging away a migraine you could feel brewing. “I need to go to bed. I don’t want to get into all of this again.”

“(Y/N) - ”

“Goodnight, Tommy.”

You stood up and heard the sound of his glass of whisky hitting his red oak table. Your fingers touched the edge of the door handle, but he was pulling you backwards before you could leave. You were facing him, trying to keep your eyes away from his, not wanting to go falling into him the way your body desired.

“You might not want to talk but you can listen.” He said, so close to you that your noses were almost touching. You pursed your lips and squirmed like a child, but he raised an eyebrow and you huffed, letting him speak, his words shattering you like you were a sheet of ice.“Im still in love you.”

You bit your lip to stop from crying. The scab had been picked off, blood clotting down your ankles and onto the floor.

“Think I will be till the day I die. Even after.”

His words were so sincere and you wanted to believe them. You could feel him watching you, cornering you, willing you to say the words back, needing to hear the words fall from your lips.

You held up one finger, trying to stop him from speaking. “Don’t.”

“It’s true.”

You could feel the hot prickle of tears forming in your eyes, and the way your throat constricted like you’d been swallowing cotton balls.“Was this the plan all along? Invite me back, get me drunk and think I’ll crawl back into bed with you after you tell me a few lines?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I would never do that to you.”

He was angry. More so with himself, he’s always been in control, so articulate and calculated, but he was losing his grip on you, his knuckles turning white. He knew he made a mistake that night when he told you to leave, but his pride was too strong to do anything about it. Seeing you tonight had been more than just a coincidence, he knew that, and everything in him was screaming at him to fight for you.

“I miss you.” It ached for him to say it out loud, such a powerful man admitting that you were his weakness, that you bring him to his knees like he’s a child.

“I miss you too, Tommy, you know I do. But - ”

“I fucked up.”

“Tom.”

“I never should have let you leave.”

“We - Us - It’ll never - ” You couldn’t think let alone speak, all of your words twisting and tumbling from your mouth like loose marbles.

“We were a lot of things, but you can’t tell me that we aren’t supposed to be together.”

“I don’t want to talk about this... I can’t!”

“So let’s not talk.”

His lips met yours and you were on fire. The breath you didn’t know you were holding was knocked out of you by the force of his body on yours. His hands were all over you, checking you were real, feeling the curve and dip of your body the way his mind had conjured up in the dark in the months that you had been gone, he savoured you entirely, he devoured you.

“This isn’t - This isn’t right.” It was lie. Nothing felt more right. Your whole body ached and quivered for him, you wanted to breathe in his smell and run your fingers through his hair until they bled, but you also didn’t want to go down without a fight.

He knew you too well though.

“Stop it.” He had you backed up against the wall, his body pressed in between your thighs. He’d caged you in, one hand curling softly under your jaw, manipulating you so that you had no choice but to look right into his damn sea foam eyes. “Stop being so stubborn.”

“Stop being such a prick then.”

Lips on your neck. His hands all over you. Inhaling your perfume and the smell of your hair, digging his fingertips into your hip, a jolt of pain that you knew would leave a bruise. He captured your lips again, relishing in the way you felt under him, he was desperate for more, and he smiled cheekily when he heard you moan.

“I thought you wanted to go to sleep.” He teased, his voice was playful but he was struggling to keep his composure, he felt like his head was being held underwater, the pleasure teetering on pain.

“I hate you.” You said, gasping for air, feeling adrenaline and liquor and lust flow through you.

“No you don’t.”

You bit down on his plump bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. He winced slightly, and rolled his eyes, shoving you backwards into his bookcase, kissing you even harder. A few novels and a porcelain figurine fell to the floor, the small black horse shattering at your feet. He grumbled slightly, and you giggled into his neck. You bent down to try and collect the broken pieces but he swatted your hand away, kissing and sucking all across your neck and throat, wanting to mark his territory.

“Stop that. I don’t want you cutting yourself.” He muttered into your flesh, clasping your hands together and holding you by the wrists, refusing to let you do anything but melt into him - not that there was anything in the world you would rather be doing.

Slowly the kisses got softer, more tender, all across your collar and shoulders like raindrops. There was something methodical about it, almost poetic, like he was trying to savour the taste of your skin, and the way your body rippled under him. After a moment he stopped, his hands tangling into your hair, gripping you by your jaw, looking into your glossed out, wide eyes.

“I really fucking missed you. I’m sorry.”

You shuddered. “I know.”

“Tomorrow we’ll talk. Alright?” There are a million things he needed to say. A million things he needed you to know, but there was nothing more important to him at that moment than having you under him, letting his body show you all of the things he couldn't put into words. He needed you, all of you. His head was fucked and he needed the wash of calm you gave him, he needed to feel whole, the way that only you could make him.

“Tomorrow.” You whispered.

He nodded solemnly. Ducking his head and pressing your mouths together, hot and raw and heavy. You were sweeter than sugar, stronger than whisky and prettier than all of the stars in the sky, and he struggled to keep himself from buckling at the knees under your touch. The only thing that could stop him from moulding your bodies together were the sweet little words that left your lips, the ones that rang like a gospel in his ears.

“Take me to bed, Tommy.”

————————————————————

He broke it off three months prior.

You had been missing each other, your schedules hectic and mismatched, and it had been a good few weeks since you had spoken for more than a few stolen seconds over the telephone. Finally, like the sun parting through rain clouds, there was one weekend that was empty in both of your diaries and Tommy told you to expect a car outside of your flat one Friday afternoon.

A whole weekend. Two days and three nights spent with your beloved, it should have been a time filled with late nights and rumpled bedsheets, coffee in the morning and wearing nothing but his linen shirts and the pretty lilac underwear he loved so much - but it turned soon turned sour.

On Sunday you had been making rhubarb pie. Folding and rolling the pastry between your fingertips, listening to the birds whistling through the open window and the lull of soft jazz from the radio behind you.

He had taken a call. A sullen look falling over his face as soon as he answered the phone. He had shut himself in his study, and all you could hear was the deep rumble of his voice and the sound of his footsteps, and so you left him alone, and busied yourself with other things.

It had all been so wonderful. Riding his horses through the fields, reading books under his arm as he rifled through papers, stealing kisses that tasted like hard candies and peppermint. You'd forced him to relax, made him take a bubble bath with you, poured lavender and vanilla oil across his aching shoulders until he let out an involuntary moan, ran your fingers through his hair until his breath evened out and his eyes fluttered shut, finally feeling at peace next to the woman he loved.

You’d laughed and made love and kissed and danced and it had all be so perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

For 48 hours he had been yours. He wasn’t “Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders,” he had been your Tommy. You weren’t a fool, you knew that work was always the most important thing to him, that he lived and breathed for the company he had built from his two bare hands, his work ethic and brilliance was something you admired about him, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t sting when he slipped back into business mode.

It had been about an hour, and you were cleaning the counters, something soothing about finding the dark marble granite under the mess of flour. You knew that Mary would have a fit if she knew you were cleaning, but you enjoyed the normalcy it gave you. You heard him before you saw him, the sound of his matte leather brogues on the tile in the hallway, and you lifted your head when you felt his presence in the doorway.

“You need to leave.”

His tone was so sudden and blunt that it almost made you laugh, but one look at the sallowness of his skin and the intensity in his eyes made you straighten up. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Sabini.”

“What about him?”

“He knows - he fucking knows.”

He was being uncharacteristically agitated, and it sent a deep chill down your spine. You lurched forward, hands spread, wanting to carry some of his worry. “Knows what? Tommy, calm down.”

“He’s had men lurking outside your flat.”

“What?”

“One of the new boys spotted ‘em. Fucking filth have been there all weekend.”

You felt your heart sink to your stomach. Truthfully, whilst the thought of Sabini and his men watching you made your skin crawl, you were more worried by the way it seemed to have frazzled Tommy. You weren’t used to seeing him so... anxious, and that sent red hot warning signs to your brain.

Your relationship had never been a secret per se, but you never made it public. After a few months of rendezvous in hotels and bars up and down the country, and Tommy realising his feelings for you were much more than just lust - he laid everything out bare. He told you he wanted you. But he also told you what the consequences of hanging off his arm were. You knew the risks, knew what chaos his love could bring, but you were falling so deeply that none of it mattered to you. You weren’t stupid, and Tommy did everything in his power to keep you safe, and the two of you found a mellow middle ground, a place where you could be happy and young and in love, without all of the mayhem.

“Well - it’s alright. I’m here. I’m safe aren’t I? He was probably just scoping the place out, he probably thought you were there and - ”

You were rambling, and most of what you were saying was untrue. You both knew the reason that Sabini was there, it was a message, a warning. A threat to Tommy that he could take away his weakness with one snap of his slimy little fingers.

You shrugged off your apron, and stepped towards him, shaking your head. “We knew that one day this would happen. That people would find out, it’s not your fault Tom.”

“We were stupid. We were reckless.”

“And what? We were supposed to just stop living our lives in case somebody saw us?”

“Not just somebody. Somebody who could fucking kill you.”

“Tommy.”

“You need to leave.”

“Listen to me -”

“I’ll get Bernard to drive you to the station. Your friend...” He paused momentarily, trying to remember a name he had heard in passing. “Sarah? She still lives in Manchester doesn’t she? You’ll stay with her till I’ve sorted this out.”

You scoffed, your eyes the size of dinner plates.“I’m not leaving.” You tried to make him see sense, but you were having a hard time keeping your voice levelled. “I’ve got work, Tom. I can’t just up and leave.”

He ignored you. You could see his brain whirring a mile a minute, the wheels inside his mind frantically looking for a solution. You marched over to him, forcing him to look at you. “I’m not scared.”

“Well then you’re a fool.”

“Am I? For not running at the first sign of danger?”

“Don’t fucking start with me. Not about this. This isn’t some fucking game.”

“I never said it was, Tom. But what? I’m supposed to hide out in another fucking city until all of this settles down.”

“Stop being so fucking difficult.”

“I’m not being difficult. I know what I signed up for, we both did. We knew this would happen eventually.”

“And now that is has - we have to be smart.”

“Not everything in life is a business deal.”

“What would you know about that?”

It was a low blow. Something that struck you like a winning punch to the gut, you stepped back from the impact, shaking your head and pursing your lips. You’ll let him brew in his anger, let him get worked up and pissed off, and you’ll wait for his apology in a few days, something expensive and designer showing up at your front door, his way of saying “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

“You know what? I’m leaving. Call me in a few days when you get your head fucking screwed back on. We can talk then.”

“No.”

It came out strangled, like the word sliced the inside of his throat when he said it.

“What?”

“You need to stay away. We need to end this.”

“End this?” You scoffed. “What? Like we’re just a business deal?”

“It’s not safe, and I can’t do anything that’s going to jeopardise the company.”

“The fucking company?” You were furious, your body stinging with hurt, feeling betrayal wash over you like sour milk. “How - How dare you!”

“I think it’s best if we spend some time apart.”

“So this is it then? You’ll throw away everything just because some fucking man has been looking around corners?” His silence made you more enraged, and you willed him to fight back. Fight for you. “Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to go, Tom?”

Silence.

And then - “It’s not safe.”

“Fuck you.”

That was the last thing you had said to him. Three words replaced with two that shattered around the room like an earthquake. You had tears in your eyes, and you rushed upstairs to pack your things, your heart breaking into sharp little pieces inside of you. He could hear the start of your sobs, the ones you tried so hard to muffle with your hand and he truly fucking hated himself. He gripped the marble above the fireplace and steadied his breathing, pushing out any thoughts of the weekend. He willed himself to shove away the happy memories, the sound of your laugh and the smell of your skin, the way he didn’t hear the shovels when you were beside him, safe and warm in his arms.

He needed to do what he did best, regain control and protect those he cared about, and right at the fucking top of the list was you. Any niggles of rationality and guilt telling him that pushing you away was wrong quickly turned to ash in his mind, he was certain that this was the right thing to do, despite the way that it really fucking hurt. He had to keep you safe. Men like him didn’t get to have nice things like you.

So he shut the door to his office, muffling the sound of you rummaging around upstairs, a part of you wishing and hoping that he would open the door and kiss you and apologise, and instead he picked up the phone, and went back to work.

———————————————————————

You woke up to sunlight painting your skin, and an empty bed, the silk sheets in disarray and bundled beside your bare body.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

Like an ice cold bucket of water dropping over your head, you remembered every detail of what had happened overnight. Your skin relived the feeling of hands and fingertips and oh god, tongue dragging all across you, branded into your memory like a burn. It was the best nights sleep you had gotten in a long time, and the bed was so warm and soft and smelling like sin that you struggled to even lift your head from the pillow to check the time.

Mid morning.

You hadn’t slept in this long for a while, and you knew the reason why. Head slightly pounding from too much alcohol and adrenaline, you crawled out of bed, washing the remnants of last nights makeup from your face and pulling on your crumpled dress and stockings that had been haphazardly flung over the furniture. Your heart lurched a little when you freshened up in the bathroom and noticed your toothbrush still in the holder on the sink, right next to his.

You could hear cluttering downstairs and followed the noise, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, unable to stop the small smile that the sight gave you. He had evidently sent Mary on an errand, something far away so he could make you both breakfast in peace, away from prying eyes. He looked so boyish, so domestic, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, nimble fingers turning the bacon on the pan, his hair mussed from sex and sleep. It made you feel like you had swallowed a match. Your whole body alight from seeing him so gentle and vulnerable, so bare for just you to see.

Thomas Shelby whisking eggs and squeezing oranges, barefoot in his own kitchen, the sight rarer than a unicorn, and you were the only person who ever got close enough.

“Hi.” It left your mouth awkwardly and rolled off your tongue like an ice cube.

“Morning.” He turned and smiled, his lazy eyes trawling the length of your body. You hadn’t noticed it, but he felt a flicker of hurt that you were in your own clothes, a part of him wanting and hoping that you would be in one of his shirts, something that he loved much more than he could comprehend. He shook his head, willing the thoughts away. “It’ll be done soon. I think I’ve burnt the toast though, and probably added too much salt to the eggs.”

You smiled thinly, the light not reaching your eyes. This was all too much, all too soon. He was here and he was beautiful and you were right at the frontline, ready to get your heart broken all over again.“Last night,” You cleared your throat, as though the words were lodged deep inside. “It was a mistake.”

He didn’t blink, cool stare focused on the meal he was preparing, long fingers methodically slicing and dicing, as though your words didn’t make his heart thump against his rib cage. He didn’t like it, not one bit, the way that it sounded as though you regretted the time you had spent together. He never wanted you to feel like that, like the intimacy you had shared was something crude, as though you were a one night stand of a drunken fuck at a bar, this was so much more than that. This was love.

But Tommy liked holding his cards to his chest, and it was much easier to tease you then tell the truth.

“It didn’t feel like a mistake. You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

You scoffed, hating his cockiness yet knowing that he was obviously right. “Don’t be a twat, Tommy.”

The ghost of a smile on his face, if you had blinked you might have missed it, but you were always the best person at reading him - the only person he had let close enough to see him, flaws and all. He always liked when you bickered with him, his little firecracker. He didn’t tolerate just anyone speaking to him the way you did, but he would let you get away with bloody murder and he couldn’t deny that it didn’t bring a flush to his cheeks when you got particularly feisty.

You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, his hands full with cutlery and plates filled with slap up breakfast foods, and you couldn’t deny that your mouth was watering.

“Eat first. We’ll talk later.”

You let out a sound halfway between a huff and a groan but caved in, clambering into the seat he had pulled open for you and piling your fork high. He watched you with a smile, the way you looked so young and pretty and angelic in the morning light, no makeup on and eyes still drowsy with sleep, like some kind of Renaissance painting he wanted to hang above his fireplace and stare at whenever things got rough.

He filled the silence with small talk, noting the weather and a story about one of John’s kids hiding a puppy in her room for almost a week without anyone noticing. You listened as best as you could, but you were distracted by the palomino mare you could see grazing in the fields behind his house, and something was prickling at your skin like brambles.

You cleared your throat, acting as nonchalant as you could muster. “Emma tells me that May Carlton is training your new mare.” Your knife sliced through your yolk, rich butter yellow bleeding across your plate. You tried to keep your voice steady, but you could feel the thickness in your throat as you remembered how it hurt like a bullet wound when your best friend had told you of his new associate. “I hear she is quite beautiful.”

“Yes, I suppose she is.” He murmured, cutting the edge of fat from his bacon. “But she’s nothing compared to you.”

You tried to pretend that his words didn’t make you swoon, and he tried to hide how much he loved it when you got jealous, something about the fire in your eyes making him want to push you up against a wall and kiss you till you couldn’t talk.

He paused, a coy smile on his lips. “Have you been keeping tabs on me?”

You scoffed. “Well, it’s only fair. What with all those Blinders following me. Can’t even go to the bloody shops without one watching me.”

So you had noticed. He had half been expecting a blazing call where you yelled at him for having men watch over you, and it had left a hole of disappointment in his gut when it never came.

“You know I would never let you be unprotected.”

“I know.”

Your eyes met, a wave of warm affection washed over the both of you, but you pulled your gaze back quickly, focusing your attention anywhere else.

“You should come and watch her.”

You froze, wondering if Tommy had just invited you to spend the day with May Carlton, you were sure that would be one evening that would end in blood and tears.

“The mare.” He said, picking up at your uncomfortableness and biting back a smile. “We’ve called her ‘Wicked Gypsy’, and she is brilliant. I reckon she could win the whole bloody thing.”

You liked how passionate he got when he talked about horses. Liked the way that he seemed to light up like a child, despite all the finery and bravado, you liked knowing that the little boy inside of him was still there, hidden deep, deep down, but still there. You were too busy being captivated by him that it took you a moment to realise that he had asked you to join him at the races.

You wanted nothing more, you truly wanted nothing more than to be his girl again. Cradled under his arm, dressed in lace and fur, his lips pressed to the heat of your throat, sweet little words whispered in your ear, a hand tight and possessive around your waist - but it just wasn’t that easy.

You sighed, crossing your cutlery. “Tom. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I want you there. I need my good luck charm.”

“Tommy, after everything. I don’t think we should.”

Firmer now, he looks at you, emphasising his point.“I need you there. When she wins, I need my best girl to be right by my side.”

He was so slippery. So sickly sweet that you could drown in him, struggle to move in the molasses that dripped from his tongue. He was dangerous, carnal fire and sin, but he wasn’t lying, he needed you, really fucking needed you.

You exhaled, thinking things through, and massaging the migraine brewing in your temples. He could see you trying to think of an excuse, another lie about how you’re bad for each other, but he got there first, not wanting to hear it.

“I’ll have a car pick you up on Friday.” He turned his hands so his palms were facing the ceiling, eyebrows raised playfully, “Or... maybe you can stay here the night. You know you’re welcome.”

Always so bloody charming. But you can’t stop the tsunami of thoughts, the mistakes of the past. “What is this, Tommy? What are we doing?”

“I fucked up. I never should have let you go.”

“But you did. And - I don’t want to get hurt all over again.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“You always do.”

You words stung him worse than if you had slapped him across the face, and he had to take a moment to swallow the sour taste that had been swimming across his tongue. He reached his hands out, clasping them with yours, so large and warm and safe, and he spoke with intensity.

“Just - Come with me, Friday. Please. I can’t do this without you.”

Friday. Suddenly it was no longer about slipping up or falling back in love and wondering what your friends might think when you told them, it was about something else that you needed to tell him.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Leaving where?” His tone was one of disbelief, his eyes sizing you up, wondering if this was some kind of elaborate excuse.

You sighed, taking your hands away from under his, noticing the lack of warmth immediately. “To Oxford. Peggy transferred me to the company over there.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because I asked her to.”

“You did what?”

You could see him thinking, wondering how none of his boys had found out this priceless piece of information that makes him want to throw his expensive fucking china at the wall.

“I did it all through work. Emma’s the only one who knew. I’m getting the train Wednesday night.”

He stood up so quickly his chair squealed across the wood floor, his mouth agape. “So what? You’re just going to leave?”

“There’s nothing here for me.”

He pointed one finger at you, scolding you like a child. “Don’t say that.”

You narrowed your eyes, shaking your head. “It’s true isn’t it? Why should I waste more time on this stupid cat and mouse game?”

“Is that all this is to you? A game?”

“You left me. For three months I was completely alone! What happens when something comes up, huh? How do I know that you won’t leave me all over again?” It was hard to keep the emotion from your voice, hard not to show just how badly the impact of those three months had been. “We need this! Some...some fucking space. Maybe being a few cities away will be good.”

It was a lie. Nothing sounded worse, but you had to say your piece because god knows you can’t keep holding everything in.

His voice was frayed, split like the hairs in an old rope. “Don’t. Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you.”

His words and his actions never lined up, and it made your blood boil. All of the anger you had turned into tears had remoulded into red hot rage, and you slammed your hands down on his expensive counter tops, flesh on marble ringing around the kitchen. “So then why did you let me go? Why did you tell me to leave?”

“Because I thought that was best for you!”

“You aren’t the one who gets to decide that!”

“Everything I do. Everything I fucking do - is to protect you.”

“Don’t say that. Protecting me isn’t making me leave, and then not speaking to me for three fucking months.”

You could see the click in his jaw, the vein in his throat throbbing. “You knew what you signed up for when you met me.”

“No, actually, I don’t think I did.”

It was true. You expected late nights, days of no contact, blood staining your bathroom counter and men watching your every move. You expected fights and make ups, going to the races in your finery and then walking down the shit filled streets of Small Heath, but you never expected that he would just leave you the way he did.

He was breathless, trying to control the rise and fall of his chest and the way that his fingers clenched. He never thought that you would leave, he had some fucked up feeling that you would always come back to him, that the two of you would always end up on the same ship, drifting along the same ocean. It was maddening. He had tasted you once again, had you under him, his girl reduced to putty in his hands. It had all made sense, the night seemed to be sweeter and the stars a little brighter and his lungs a little looser when you were next to him. It had all felt so right, and now you were going to leave.

He put it down to exasperation at not being in control anymore, the fact that he was watching you slip between his fingers once again like grains of sand, and so he said the worst thing he thought of, something that he knew would rip through you like a shot to the heart.

“Well at least I got one last fuck eh? That was all you were really any good for anyway.”

He could hear it immediately, the sound of the bullet leaving the gun, or perhaps that’s your heart shattering in two. He regretted it, he regretted it so badly that he wished he could pull the words back down his throat and swallow them like they were poison.

Your eyes watered but you didn’t let him see you cry. Your mouth opened and then closed not wanting to waste your breath on a reply, not wanting to hurt him the way he’d hurt you. You didn’t bother with a reply, not trusting yourself enough to talk, only wanting to be alone to like your wounds in peace. So you turned and left, last nights heels echoing through the hallway, the sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut, silence falling once again.

Tommy pushed the plates off the table.

—————————————————————————-

Wednesday night and you were listening to your favourite record, something to distract you from the suitcase you were packing. Since the fight you hadn’t heard from Tommy, the first thing you’d packed had been your phone, pulling it off the wall as soon as you got home, not wanting to be on edge waiting for his call.

You didn’t allow yourself the time to wallow, refused to let yourself be beaten up by the words he had said, the ones that hung around your head like dead files. You hated that you let him speak to you that way, and you also hated that you missed him with every bone in your body.

Lilac, sapphire and emerald green. You threw your clothes together, watching the colours fade into a blur. You hadn’t packed anything he had given you, but you didn’t want to throw them out either and so they sat in a lonely purgatory in your wardrobe; a little gift to the next tenant.

You knew who was there the second the doorbell rang. Well, rang three times. The sound so shrill and violent that you tipped your head back in frustration. You considered leaving him outside in the summer rain, but soon the rings were switched with incessant knocking, your door surely about to break from the weight of his fists.

“Fucking hell.” You seethed, dropping your shoes onto the floor and stepping over the piles of toiletries stacked in the hallway. “Fuck you, Tom.”

You wanted to say those three words to him as soon as you opened the door, hoping your eyes reflected the anger bubbling inside of you, but he cut you off with a sigh of relief.

“Thank fuck you’re still here.”

“Not for long.”

You tried to shut the door, you really did, but he pushed past and into your flat with little effort.

“Get out, Tom. Now.”

He spun round to face you, and you finally got a good look at him. He looked rough, frazzled almost. His hair messy and his shirt ruffled and his eyes were mostly white, frantically watching your face.

“I fucked up. I fucked everything up.”

“You came all this way just to tell me that?”

“I should have followed you sooner. I should have followed you the second you walked through that door.”

You quirked an eyebrow in challenge. “Which time?”

He spread his hands out, biting down on his tongue. “Don’t go. Don’t leave.”

You sighed, kicking a stray shampoo bottle with your feet, something to fill the emptiness that surrounded you. “I’ve made up my mind.”

He moved one step closer and you moved one step back. “Is this what you really want?”

“We can’t always get what we want.”

“That’s bullshit.”

You threw your hands up in despair. “I’m not doing this with you now, Tommy. My train leaves in an hour and I have my first day tomorrow and I don’t want to fuck it all up.”

“If it’s what you really want, then you should go. But don’t leave if it’s all because of me.”

You scoffed. “Oh, don’t flatter yourself.”

“And I’m not going to let you go without telling you that I love you. I really fucking love you.”

“Tommy.” It’s a warning. It’s a threat. But it hangs between you both, lingering in the air like smoke.

“I know you love me too. I know you do. I also know that I’m a massive twat who fucked everything up, but I’m not letting you get away, not again.”

You're exasperated. His words like honey, but you’re scared that that’s all they are, and you’re more scared that they might be so much more. “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Because I’m telling the truth. I don’t care about anything. Nothing matters to me more than you. I don’t care if Sabini has men outside my house every fucking night, you’re only safe with me, and I can only do this with you by my side.”

“Talk is cheap.”

“If I have to spend every day proving how much you mean to me then I will. I can’t - I can’t be without you.”

He was so close to you. Your noses almost touching, the hair on your arms and your spine sticking up, something electric about him. You want to hate him but you can’t. Not when he’s standing in your dimly lit hallway, looking dishevelled and beautiful and dare you say, broken. The edge of his jawline caught the light, shimmering like a jewel, and the pools in his eyes were so sincere and so deeply blue that you wanted to fall right into them.

Were you going to do this? Were you going to let him in again? You thought of everything - rain splattered kisses, dancing under the pale moonlight, sour whisky in the corner of his office. You thought of all of the chaos, all of the blood, all of the family arguments and shouting that echoed around his manor. You thought of all the tears you had shed, all the times your throat had been raw and your heart shattered into pieces. You thought of strawberry fields and his hand in yours, laughing with his brothers until you couldn’t breathe, the way that he felt and smelt and spoke like home.

It had been bad, but it was also the best thing you had ever been a part of.

You sighed loudly, clicking your tongue, meeting him somewhere in the middle. “Fuck. I’m never going to get my deposit back.”

His whole body trembled, relief coming from every pore, and he made a vow to go to Church with Pol on Sunday and thank whoever was listening for getting you back. “Well you’re moving in with me so there’s nothing to worry about.”

You rolled your eyes, his large hands wrapping around your jaw, making you look at him. He smelt like woodsmoke and peppermint, like a million bad decisions and the tang of a smoking barrel. It took everything in you to not buckle at the knees and let him carry you like a child.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He cradled your face, hoping his words came off as strongly out loud as they did in his head. He’s not going to fuck up again, but even he can’t stop his brain from short circuiting at the sight of you, so pretty with your doe eyes and raspberry lips, the skin on your throat just begging for the tug of his teeth.

You buried your head in his chest when he pulled you close, your words muffled through the cotton of his shirt. “If you ever speak to me like that again I’ll rip your fucking balls off.”

A soft smile, one that washes over him like warm candlelight. “I know.”

He’s not letting you go, not again. You’re a fucking part of him, like the blood that runs through his veins and the steady thump of his chest, you’re a part of his body, the reason why he can breathe and run and love. You’re the thing that stops the tremor in his hands, the thing that makes him so unshakeable, so tough and in control.

He had something to fight for.

And only knowing that you’re by his side, safe and warm and pressed into the crook of his body, does he finally allow himself to exhale.

[inosukeslefttoe]

girl.... omg.... this game rlly means it when it says itll show me the ultimate despair....

so my first fav character was sayaka right,,, and then it was mondo,,, WHICH ISNT TOO GREAT FOR ME LMAO ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE SUCH TRAGIC FATES THIS GAME IS FULL OF TRAGEDY BUT ITS SO FUCKING WELL DONE AND IM EVEN MORE OBSESSED NOW (was low key scared id actually get depressed bc of this since i tend to get rlly attached to things like this,, and yeah i miss mondo like hell but ITS IN SUCH AN EXHILARATING WAY YKNOW AND I CANT WAIT TO KEEP PLAYING THE GAME)

but lmao i just wanna scream about all the little things that made this part of the game even more tragic,,, so first of all is like,, how similar mondo and chihiro are right ?? like at first you see them and ur like “wow these two are lowkey polar opposites bc mondo big tough violent outspoken scary man while chihiro is tiny passive inferiority complex timid man” but after hearing both of their stories, you can tell that they both suffer from the same things and have the same goal. they both have terrible inferiority complexes, they just deal with them differently: chihiro kinda gave into it and ran away from it by deciding to hide his true self behind something he saw as “weaker” than him and letting that become a part of his identity out of fear that he was too weak to try and change/fight it. Mondo on the other hand overcompensated big time for it and became the ultimate manly man when inside he felt nothing but weak and guilt. also like,, a few times mondo mentioned that hes rlly bad with emotions right and he handles them through anger and violence so,,, this means that whenever he has these negative feelings towards himself he has no healthy way to let them out and just keeps pushing them down and trying to maintin this facade of a strong man and never letting anyone know that hes “weak” but this just ends up as a big ball of negativity and adds to his “weakness”...and like... bro chihiro and mondo couldve grown so much stronger together bc they suffer from the same things but could learn how to deal with it better together and balance each other out.... but mondo acted so quickly and violently and did something he couldnt undo which just added to his self hatred and YKNOW ALSO KILLED THE MOST PURE HEARTED STRONGEST PERSON IN HERE BUT AT THE SAME TIME MAKES IT HARD FOR YOU TO BLAME MONDO AND HATE HIM FOR IT BUT UGH THERES JUST SO MANY LAYERS AND ITS SO EMOTIONAL

next.... as you can tell by the gif.... IS MONDOS RELATIONSHIP WITH TAKA... ill prolly make a post screaming abt how much i love them later lmao but like... god what hurt the most for me personally during this bit wasnt that my favorite boy died/had a whole tragic story.... but that his best friend had to go through such betrayal and such loss. like... not only did taka have to see this side of mondo that mondo was desperately trying to hide and find out that his best friend had broken everything he stood for and yknow,,, feel the ultimate sense of betrayal, but he also had to see his best friend brutally killed in front of him. like,, holy shit man mondo was straight up confessing but taka... TAKA REFUSED TO BELIEVE IT AFTER ALL THIS EVIDENCE AND THAT HIT SO MUCH HARDER THAN LEONS DEATH AND THE LIL RHYTHM MINI GAME THING bc in leons case he was like “it was self defense !! i had to !! its not my fault !!” after murdering someone,, but in this case,,,, mondo admitted to it but it was his Bro who refused to accept it and was fighting tooth and nail to save his best friend. AND LIKE,, TAKA IS THE ULT MORAL COMPASS RIGHT ?? AND HE STRAIGHT UP HAD TO KNOW IT WAS MONDO,, AND THAT BREAKS LITERALLY EVERY RULE ON ANY MORAL COMPASS,,, BUT TAKA STILL FOUGHT FOR HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD..... also i noticed taka cursing and that seemed so ooc but so utterly heartbreaking.... and i love how they added extra drama in the game by having the va violently scream in agony for taka like.... talk about despair lmao. omg and my brother is watching the anime right and he was like lol you should watch the scene from it too if you wanna be more sad.... AND OH GOD HE WAS RIGHT... the fact that taka resorted to some violence by grabbing mondo aggressively and shaking him and yelling ... and the fact that he was like “why did you kill him make me understand” kinda thing and mondo couldnt even look at taka or say anything.... BUT EVEN WITH THAT,,, TAKA STILL COULDNT BEAR HIS FRIEND BEING KILLED AND BEGGED MONOKUMA TO KILL H I M INSTEAD ??? GOD MY HEART CANT FUCKING HANDLE THAT. LIKE THAT BOND THEY HAVE BRO AND HOW MONDO SEVERED IT AND HOW TAKA WAS NOT GONNA LET IT BE BROKEN THAT EASILY AND HHHHHH IM . SO . SAD. but seriously... that was a whole new level of despair imo for this game to add such a beautiful relationship between these two and have it end so tragically by taka, the moral compass, dropping his morals and refusing to see the facts in front of him and still ready to die for his bro.... also the whole “make me understand” line kinda just... he couldnt even condemn mondo for it, he wanted to know his reasonings so he could know that his friend wasnt a bad guy and couldnt die yknow...

HAHA I GOT ALL SAD AGAIN WRITING THIS DUDE BUT ITS JUST SO GOOD HOW COULD I NOT MAKE A POST YOU FEEL ?? im so hyped to start chapter three tomorrow but i swear if it gets any sadder it might actually affect my mood and ill have to take a break... but i think that the death of my fav + the relationship doomed to despair is quite a high level to beat for me personally since i always find things to be more sorrowful when it has anything to do with human connections like that lmao

1/2/21

[too-gay-for-marvel]

i can take the fall

a/n: so uhhhhhh i found this one tonight. i wrote it forever ago, so its NOT my best by far, but i still kinda liked it. so now you all have to suffer through it, and im not sorry. i mean, im a little sorry, but im not sorry

Word Count: 1197

Warnings: light swearing, canon-typical violence

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

There were very few things Natasha wouldn’t do. She wouldn’t kill children or animals, maybe people with families. She wouldn’t even dream of hurting someone who was pregnant. She wouldn’t drink coffee if she either hadn’t made it herself or watched someone else make it. She wouldn’t indulge your fantasies of turning the compound into an animal shelter. She would never let someone make the sacrifice play if there was any other option.

She wouldn’t let you fall.

Vormire wasn’t supposed to be dangerous. You weren’t supposed to have to do much, just make a bargain, get the stone, and go back home. Hell, the only reason Tony had let you go was because he thought there was minimal risk. So how the hell did you end up like this? Both of you hanging off the edge of a cliff, Natasha holding onto your hand for dear life, your suit surrounding Natasha and not letting her do what she needed to do.

“Damn you, Stark,” Natasha said through gritted teeth, trying her damndest to pull you back up.

“Let me go, Tash,” you said softly, trying to be tough, but Natasha could see the fear.

“I am not explaining this to your father.”

“Tash-”

“-no!” Natasha shouted, fighting the tears and thankful that the suit’s mask was pulled down. “You don’t get to do this!”

And you gave her that look; that damned look that Natasha had seen too many times on both yours and Tony’s faces. It was a look that Tony would have whenever he was going through his self-destructive phases, and Natasha had had to stop him from killing himself. And you had the same goddamn tendencies as your father and were always putting yourself in situations that could get you killed.

“Would you please, for once in your fucking life, think about the consequences of your actions?” Natasha practically yelled as she chased you through your lab.

“I did. I thought “hm, people might die if I do nothing.” So I did something,” you shot back, FRIDAY already helping you take the top part of your suit off.

“You were shot!”

“I lived.”

“What if you hadn’t?”

At that, you turned around, and Natasha almost wished you had stayed with your back to her. While your back looked nasty, with road rash and bruises from being knocked around in your suit, your front was even worse. Your nose had been broken and was still bleeding, your lip was split, and you had bruises on the entire right side of your face.

“Then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, and that doesn’t sound too bad at the moment.”

“You can’t just throw your life away because you think someone deserves to live more than you.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” you said as you practically stomped forward, your boots making a loud metallic noise against the concrete. FRIDAY had since given up on taking off the pants of your suit. “You think you don’t do the exact same thing?”

“I don’t try to get myself killed, Stark,” Natasha shot back.

“Well you certainly don’t try to avoid it,” you said with a jab to Natasha’s chest.

“I do what I think is best.”

“And you think I don’t?” Natasha took a step back. She had definitely made a mistake. “I don’t do this hoping I’m going to die, Natalia.” Oh no. “Believe it or not, I don’t want to die.”

“I never said you-”

“-I just believe,” you interrupted, ”-my life is no more important than someone else’s. I’ve done the math, Nat. People hate the Avengers; they think we’re just causing more harm than good. If it takes one of us dying to fix that…” you let out a shaky breath and raked your fingers through your hair. You was avoiding Natasha’s eyes. “I can take the fall.”

Natasha had never been so terrified at seeing how little you cared about your own life.

“Nat,” you said, drawing Natasha out of her thoughts.

“We can find another way,” Natasha said, pleaded, cried. The face plate on the suit lifted up, and Natasha could finally look at you without all those little gadgets in the way. But she didn’t like what she was seeing, and she almost wished the face plate would lower again.

“Remember what I said all those years ago?” You asked. You were trying to keep your voice light, Natasha could tell. But it wasn’t going to distract either of you from the situation.

“Please don’t,” Natasha shook her head. She didn’t want to hear it.

“I can take it,” you said anyway, trying to smile. But Natasha couldn’t smile back. She could feel your grip loosening, and Natasha tried to increase her grip, but the suit wouldn’t budge. Damn you.

“But I love you,” Natasha managed to choke out around a sob. Your hand was slipping.

“It’s okay,” you with a nod, but Natasha knew you were lying. It wouldn’t be okay. “I love you, too.”

Before Natasha even had a chance to say something else, she felt you push off against the wall as hard as you could. Your hand slipped from Natasha’s grip, and Natasha could only watch as you fell. It was like everything moved in slow motion; you falling, a scream ripping its way through her throat, you closing your eyes before hitting the ground. Right before you hit, Natasha turned her head. She didn’t want to see it. She couldn’t see it. She couldn’t see your lifeless body bleeding out on the cold ground.

A flash of light surrounded Natasha, and she sat up quickly, the suit feeling heavier than she had ever thought it would. Maybe it was because it had betrayed her, had saved her instead of you. She looked at her closed hand, opening it slowly to see the soul stone. For a second, she thought she could hear your voice. But it was just a stone. Just a stupid fucking stone. You had traded your life for a goddamn rock. If it hadn’t been as important as it was, Natasha would’ve crushed it in a heartbeat.

But you had given up your life so they could fix their mistake. You had thought the cause was worth losing your life over, and Natasha wouldn’t - no, she couldn’t take that for granted. By god, she was going to get the stone back, and they were going to bring everyone back, and not a single soul was going to be able to ignore that you had given your life to get them back.

With shaking hands, Natasha set her quantum suit’s GPS to the future. She didn’t want to stay on this god forsaken planet any longer. If she stayed, she wouldn’t leave, and then you would’ve died for nothing. In a flash, she was back on the quantum pad with everyone else. She could vaguely hear cheering, clapping, people giving each other high-fives and talking over each other. All she could do was fall to her knees, the stone still in her hand. Now that she was back, it was finally, truly hitting her what had happened.

“Nat, where’s Y/N?”

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part seven.

masterlist.

pairing: taehyung x reader (briefly) jungkook x reader 

word count: 15k+ damn my bad

warnings: nsfw, spanking, dirty talk, unprotected sex (dont do this) but otherwise pretty tame at the end

authors note: i know i said this would go up monday but im clearly a liar i stayed up late last night writing this and it’s partially edited so if something looks fucked up dont come for me :( ill edit it later i just wanted to get it up lmfao im thinking another chapter left, maybe 2 anyways lmk what u think

Its Monday afternoon and you’re sat at your desk at work, your fingers mindlessly tapping on your mousepad as you retouch a portrait on your desktop. To be honest, you weren’t really paying it any attention, your mind kept drifting over to the text Jungkook had sent you the other night while he was drunk. Sure he had asked you to help him get his dick wet and a part of you knows he meant help as in_ help me find someone new_ but the perverted side of you hoped he meant help as in let me fuck you.

“Okay, unless you’re trying to make her skin look like plastic you need to ease off.”

Your hands jump at Yoongi’s voice and you realize the monstrosity you created on the models face, wincing as you delete the layer entirely to start over.

“Oops, thanks.” Yoongi just laughs, resting his arm on your shoulder and slouching over your seated frame as you resume editing with a slightly clearer head.

“Did you sleep okay last night?” He had been watching you during your entire shift together, today was an easier day, only slight organizing and retouching being the things on the to-do list but you had been very spacey. You were misnaming files and not being able to find them on the desktop, forgetting basic commands on photoshop that were second nature to you and you had mistakenly put coffee grounds instead of instant coffee in Yoongis morning cup and hadn’t realized.

Your hand came up to scratch your temple as you thought back to yesterday, waking up at three in the afternoon hungover as fuck in Jimin’s bedroom. Both of you had managed to go to sleep in the same exact clothes you went out in and your body was stiff which lead you to believe whatever sleeping position you chose had been very unfortunate.

Both of your phones had died in the middle of the night since the pair of you had been way to drunk to even think of plugging them in and when Jimin finally waltzed in from the bathroom, his hair damp from the shower, he suggested going out to eat so you let your phone remain dead in your pocket as you went about your day. You were blissfully unaware of Jungkook’s text sitting pretty in your inbox.

In turn Jungkook was sat in his own bed, a massive headache pounding so hard he swore his eyes were vibrating from the force. He remembered the text, hell he remembered jacking off in the shower before sending said text. So when he was finally able to sit up without wanting to vomit he was expecting his phone to have a notification from you, your typical response backed with a handful of suggestive emojis because you knew it made him blush.

But when there was nothing he felt his eyebrows furrow together, his finger locking his phone and tossing it beside him in bed as he lay back down. Had he crossed a line? His message was tame enough to leave it open to interpretation but Jungkook knew how he meant it when he sent it, he may have been high off his orgasm but he knew.

He continued to lay in bed for the majority of the day, only leaving to go to the cafeteria with Taehyung once he finally awoke, equally as hungover. He ate as much as he could stomach, not accustomed to hangovers that left his stomach feeling queasy. Unlike you who was currently stuffing as many breadsticks in your mouth as you could in the restaurant you and Jimin occupied, only leaving once your stomach was at capacity. You didn’t get a chance to see Jungkook’s text until eight o’clock that night and when you did see it your mind first went to sex. Jungkook was asking you for sex.

Sort of.

Slapping perverted thoughts from your head you responded with a simple of course i’ll help you. Leaving it at that, you knew he had sent you the first text while wasted so you were giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Those cursed perverted thoughts haunted your dreams though, images of you riding a shy Jungkook on your bed until he came noisily playing over and over and over you were surprised you hadn’t woken up with your underwear covered in remnants of an orgasm.

You hadn’t slept well at all.

You tell Yoongi this with a tight lipped smile and he nods sympathetically, “What are you doing after this?”

Looking at the clock you see there is twenty minutes left before the end of your shift, Taehyung had already messaged you earlier in the day asking to hang out and whether that meant actually hanging out or hanging out you weren’t sure but either way was fine with you. You needed a distraction to help you stop seeing the image of Jungkook cumming replaying in your mind.

“I’m seeing Tae.”

You don’t look up to see Yoongi’s reaction, not wanting to see any facial expression of judgment when you mention Taehyung’s name. Thankfully he only hums in response, watching you save your current file and start to shut down the computer and going to his own workstation to start doing the same.

When the time comes to leave you say your goodbyes, Yoongi getting into an uber to head to Jimin’s, telling you if you wanted to join them after you were done with Taehyung you were more than welcome. You hug him and tell him you’ll think about it before hopping onto the bus and heading back to campus.

The weather was getting colder in the day, its nearing the end of the first week of October and the fallen leaves decorating the sidewalks made that obvious. Once you hop off on campus you take note of the flyers plastered on bulletin boards, big posters taped on the sides of the buildings to announce the various Halloween themed events going on and you grin at all the activities that you love. This was always your favorite time of year.

As you trek your way into the boys dorm you greet Baekhyun at the front desk before entering the elevator with your phone in your hand. Your eyes are downcast as you scroll through your campus portal, skimming through the various assignments you had due this month and starting to feel the small tingles of stress creep up on you.

The elevator dings and you step out, your fingers tapping on an assignment due later tonight. Your eyes are glued to your device so you don’t notice Jungkook stood a few feet away, frozen in spot as he sees you. It’s not until you’re about to run into him that his shadow snaps you out of your daze, your eyes flicking up, “Oh, Jungkook!” You throw him a charming smile as you wrap your arms around him in greeting.

Jungkook relaxes when he feels your embrace, the nerves he’s felt since sending you that text vanish, his own arms wrapping around your body with a gentle squeeze. “Hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

In retrospect he knows what you’re doing here but he needs to hear you say it. He needs to remind himself that you’re not here to see him to fulfill any sick desires he has.

You pull back still smiling, slipping your phone into your back pocket to give him your full attention. “Taehyung text me wanting to hang out so,” you spread your arms out widely, “here I am.”

He can only grin at that, of course you weren’t here to see him. You were here to see Taehyung. The man you fucked. Constantly. Not him.

You take note of his appearance, a giant black hoodie swallowing his frame and his school bag draped over his shoulder, “Are you heading out somewhere?” You speak again when he says nothing in response.

“Yeah, just to a study group at the library.” His eyes give you another once over, he wants to keep talking to you but it’s clear you have other things to get to, “I don’t want you to keep Tae waiting so I’ll be off.” He shoves his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie with a small smile and steps around you awkwardly.

You can only mutter out a small okay because he’s acting a little strange but thats typically how Jungkook acts. He’s relatively shy, only speaking when spoken to and whenever he has bouts of confidence where he jokes and laughs and says things you’d never imagine him saying it only lasts for a moment before he’s back to shy Jungkook.

You wave at him and continue walking down the hallway to Taehyung’s room. Jungkook manages to take two steps towards the elevator before stopping and turning back around, “Y/N!” He shouts, flinching a little at his own voice and cringing when he sees you jump for a second, turning around with a curious face. “Do you think we could hang out soon? Like…” he rummages in his brain as he thinks of something else to say, “maybe after all our classes tomorrow?”

You think for a moment, you have a few classes after the creative writing class you share with him and another work shift right after so that won’t work. “I can’t tomorrow but after classes on Friday I’m free.” Jungkook doesn’t even think about his schedule, shouting out that Friday works for him as well and now your beaming smile is back and Jungkook can feel his stupid heart skip a beat at the sight.

Now he can finally leave in peace, a small pep in his step as he enters the elevator but that doesn’t stop him from aggressively jabbing his finger against the close door button so he doesn’t have to see you walk into Tae’s room.

Luckily the week passes by quickly, Jungkook had nerves bubbling up in his stomach the entire time. It wasn’t like he had never hung out with you one on one, you guys usually hung out during the free period you had after your shared class but it was something that was sort of routine. This time he had explicitly asked to hang out, he wasn’t sure why that felt so different but it did so as his professor recites his final sentences Jungkook is totally zoned out, only coming back when he hears he’s dismissed. And then hes shooting up out of his seat, throwing his backpack over his shoulders and speed walking out of the building and onto the quad.

He passes the stupid cafe and ducks his head, walking even faster to avoid the possibility of Jisoo spotting him through the giant windows. When he feels he can no longer be spotted he lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing and his pace slowing down. That gross feeling he had in his chest after Jisoo had slammed the door in his face hadn’t gone away, he still felt like he had done something horrible even though he knows he hadn’t but the small glares Jisoo would send him whenever she would spot him on campus just made that feeling linger.

He was counting down the days she would graduate, or at least until she’d set her eyes on someone else because he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. She hadn’t resorted to shouting things at him or anything too out of pocket but it was clear to Jungkook that she was telling her circle of friends that he had done something despicable and they were telling their friends. The whispers and small huddling that would happen when he would pass them on campus or in the rare occurrence that they shared a class made that obvious. He hated it.

Once he finally makes it into the girl’s dorm Joy greets him with a smile and he tries his best to return it. Letting her simple question erase the worries in his mind, “Are you going to the bonfire tonight?”

He grabs his id back from her and looks up with a nod, that was actually what he was going to suggest the two of you do. He had seen the abundance of posters around campus advertising the event and it sounded like fun. “Yeah actually, I’ve never been.”

Joy smiles with a clap of her hands, knowing it’s his first year at this school, “It’s a good time, lots of snacks and someone always finds a way to sneak booze in. You guys will like it.” She refers to you when she says that, already knowing thats who Jungkook was here to see. Jungkook can feel someone behind him so he shuffles away to let the person sign in, waving at Joy as he makes his way up to your room.

The hallways of your floor are covered in fake spiderwebs, skeletons draped over some girl’s doors while others had plastered colored paper and drawn up their own version of spooky designs that reminded him of his years in elementary school. It was cute and honestly the boy’s dorms could take some notes because the only decoration they currently had was a skeleton sitting on one of the toilets in the bathroom.

As he stands in front of your door he takes note of the white board you and Wendy have hung up and he laughs softly when he sees whats written on it. In red marker it says *dracula voice* we want to suck your blood with some poorly drawn fangs underneath it and in the corner beside it the word dick is written with an obnoxious arrow coming up to point at the word blood to replace it.

His knuckles knock on your room door, hearing shuffling from behind it and some laughter before it’s thrown open and you’re greeting him with a smile, “Hey Jungkook.” Your lips shimmer back thanks to the clear lipgloss you’re currently wearing and his eyes zero in on them.

“Hey.” He mumbles out and you catch his eyes giving you a once over, finally making eye contact when you step to the side to let him in. He steps into the room and notices that you and your roommate must really love this holiday because you both have decked it out in halloween decorations. There’s a giant spiderweb rug in the center of the floor between your beds and a string of bat fairy lights hung behind your beds where you pinned more polaroids onto it. Theres a soft orange glow that fills the room and he notices you two have even gone as far as sticking led tape to the ceiling for the ambiance.

“Love the commitment.”

You chuckle, pointing over to your roommate with a smile, “She’s a slut for halloween and so am I so we had to. It’s not fully finished yet, we gotta grab some more stuff don’t we?”

When he looks over at Wendy’s side he spots her sat on her bed as she ties her shoes, “You bet your ass we do, I’m thinking we need different curtains or maybe a full on skeleton like Yeri has hung on her door.”

Jungkook can’t imagine how much more effort you two could put into your room but the determination set on Wendy’s face shows that she’s not joking. “Alright I’m off to go be a slave to the systems of education, pray I make it through this four hour lecture.” You laugh and clasp your hands in faux prayer, laughing harder when she rolls her eyes at you with a smile, telling you and Jungkook goodbye and dragging her feet like a child as she leaves.

“What did you wanna do today?” You ask him as you go back to your mirror to finish fixing your hair up. Jungkook sets his bag on the floor beside your bed, rolling his shoulders as he sits on it and shuffles backwards until he feels the cool of the wall against his back.

“There’s that rooftop bonfire happening later on, I was thinking maybe we could go to that?”

Your face perks up when he mentions that, immediately saying it was a good idea. That yearly bonfire was always the best, last year they had managed to bring up a giant blow up projector and played some classic halloween movies while everyone sat around the bonfire and made s’mores. Jin had snuck in a few flasks full of vodka so you and your group had been nice and drunk, bundled up in blankets while Hocus Pocus played.

“That actually sounds perfect, did you wanna head down to the store to grab some stuff?” Your attention was back on the mirror, your fingers coming to wipe at the corners of your mouth to fix any smudges of your gloss so Jungkook felt like he could stare at you and not get caught. You had your hair in messy waves, one side tucked behind your ear as you leaned forward and the cropped grey crewneck you had on wasn’t going to do much to protect you from the cold but it was obvious the outfit was for purely aesthetic purposes.

“Sure, lets go.”

The both of you head back out onto campus, two reusable bags in your hand to help you carry whatever you decide to buy. The bonfire usually had enough snacks for everyone but it was always good to go out and buy stuff you knew you liked as a safety net. The walk was nice, the sun had finally set, the last remaining hues of purple peeking away behind the buildings, allowing the floor lights to illuminate the path you were walking on.

Jungkook seemed to be out of his usual shy shell, his hands flailing around as he talked to you about the project he was working on in his intro to ceramics class. He swore he had no talent in it and was only taking it since he needed the units the class came with but you found it hard to believe since the photos he would post online said otherwise.

“You’re so full of shit.”

His mouth dropped open, his arms freezing in the position they were currently in as he tried to show you the motions of making a mug, “I swear. I’m gonna make you a mug and it’s gonna be the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen and you’re gonna have to love it because you doubted me.”

That just makes you laugh and he smiles down at you, “I’d love that, make it extra big too. Big enough so I can pour two cups of coffee in it and I’ll treasure it forever, no matter how ugly it is.”

He nods in thought, his lips pursed together because he was definitely gonna do that now. He really wasn’t the worst at ceramics but now he was determined to make you a half decent mug to drink your morning coffee. “Deal, give me a week.” He pulled the door open for the store and let you slip in first, the bells dinging up ahead to notify the worker of your presence.

You went for the chips, stuffing two bags of spicy tteokbokki chips into your bag as your first choice. Jungkook roams over to the sweets, grabbing a few of the chocopie for himself, calling your name out as he holds one up and when you nod he grabs a few more for you as well. It takes you both a few minutes to raid the shelves, huddling in a corner with the bag pulled apart to inspect the damage, “Is this enough?”

Jungkook hums as his eyes scan the contents, spicy chips, seaweed crisps, chocopies, some sausages, two small containers of banana milk for himself and a few cans of sparkling soju crammed at the bottom for you two to conceal. This seemed like enough, and you kept saying there would be more options once you got there so he didn’t think you should load up on too much. “Yeah, I think we’re good.”

Satisfied, you pay for your goods and make your way back to your building where the event would take place. You hop into the elevator and click the very top floor, he could see your big smile in the reflection, your feet tapping excitedly and he feels a smile spreading on his own face, happy that he chose an activity that made you this giddy.

When the doors open to the roof you step out onto the hallway and walk up three steps through the doors that lead to roof access. Jungkook had no idea either of the dorm buildings even had roof access so he’s amazed at that fact alone. The entire perimeter is blocked up by a cement border to prevent anyone from falling off, a plethora of plants covering it up to make it look more pleasing to the eye. Right in the middle of it all was the bonfire, thin and long and already lit up with people sat on the surrounding couch.

Besides that were a handful of bean bags and comfy chairs in case there wasn’t enough seating on the couch and if that wasn’t enough either there was a giant space open up in front of the blow up projector for anyone to lay a comfy blanket down to chill.

The snack and beverage table was placed to the left which was where you were currently dragging Jungkook to. You pulled out a few of the treats you had bought to leave them for anyone to enjoy and Jungkook couldn’t resist grabbing a piece of chocolate that was meant for the s’mores, letting the candy melt in his mouth as his eyes roamed the place some more.

“Hey, isn’t that Jimin?” He spoke slowly, not wanting the melted candy to drool out of his mouth. You were munching on a cinnamon cracker, your head turning to where he was pointing and low and behold it was Jimin. He was currently sat on the grey couch in front of the fire right next to a girl you recognized as Chaeyoung, she was holding a marshmallow on top of the fire, laughing as Jimin surely teased her for burning it.

“Yeah it is.” You smiled to yourself, seeing your best friend behaving uncharacteristically flirty, accepting a bite of the slightly burnt marshmallow smushed between the chocolate and crackers in Chaeyoung’s hands, licking his lips and plucking the snack out of her grasp to feed her the rest of it.

Jungkook walked towards them, seeing a few empty spots to their left on the smaller couch by the fire, he noticed the metal basket by the couch containing blankets so he snagged one out before he took a seat, handing it to you when you sat beside him.

“Y/N, Jungkook!” Jimin notices you two the second you sit down, popping the tip of his finger into his mouth to lick away the sticky residue from it.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here.” You tease him, setting your bag in front of you and Jungkook and draping the blanket over the both of your laps for some added warmth.

“I wasn’t going to but this one,” he drapes his arm over Chaeyoung and she blushes at his display of affection, covering up a side of her face, “convinced me to come. Something about them playing The Lost Boys.”

She looked up at him and smiled, “It’s my all time favorite movie, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.” Jimin just shrugs, a teasing smirk on his face and you wanna scream at how cute hes acting but you really don’t want to embarrass him. Park Jimim was not one for dates or romantics so seeing him on what could arguably be described as a date blind sided you.

“Oh, I’m Chaeyoung by the way.” She leans out of his embrace and reaches over with an extended hand. You lean over Jungkook to reach it, a giggly handshake being exchanged between you two, “Y/N. You’re a third year right? Political science major?”

“Yes, I am! I saw your photography exhibit by the way, super amazing.” Your hands come up to cup your cheeks at her compliment, suddenly feeling like you two are drunk strangers at a bar ready to spit compliment after compliment at each other.

“And you’re Jungkook right?” She speaks again, sitting back in her seat as she stares at him with an unreadable expression and you can feel Jungkook tense up slightly at being recognized because how the fuck would a third year know who he was. He wasn’t a social butterfly at all, he only knew you and your group and his other small group of friends that he studied with.

“Oh, yeah I am.” Jungkook reaches his own hand out to greet her and she does the same. Pulling her hand back after a moment and crossing her leg over the other in thought, “Weren’t you just dating Jisoo?”

There it is. Of course thats how she would know who he was. And that only proved his suspicion that Jisoo was spreading his name around.

She had a defensive cast over her gaze, her eyes boring into Jungkook to analyze him. It clicked instantly that Chaeyoung and Jisoo were best friends so theres no doubt that right now Chaeyoung is ready to chew Jungkook out for being what she thinks is a dirtbag.

You can see how wide Jungkooks eyes get at her question, readjusting himself on the couch while his mind sorts through any possible answer he can give her. How could he clear his name without sounding like the jerk she thinks he currently is?

“Uhm,” his eyes drift over to her for a moment and when he sees her unwavering gaze he looks at Jimin instead, seeing him with his lips pressed in a firm line, “we just went to dinner and the art exhibit. We weren’t dating.”

Chaeyoung’s look softens at that, his answer being a stark contrast to what Jisoo had told her. She had said Jungkook had made her his girlfriend and went on this amazing date and when she didn’t put out he told her they weren’t dating.

Jungkook continues to ramble, thinking that answer doesn’t satisfy her, “Jisoo’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong. We just weren’t compatible so it was best if we…moved on?”

Your hand comes up to pat his thigh on top of the blanket, comforting him slightly because you can see how nervous he got. His own hand comes down on top of yours, fingers gently wrapping around it and giving it a squeeze.

“Totally fair,” Chaeyoung finally speaks, “just wanted to make sure you didn’t dump my friend and quickly moved on with Y/N.” Her eyes flicker over to your hands and then up to you with a smile. Jimin cleared his throat beside her, his own hands coming up to rub together to try to clear any awkward tension.

“Okay,” he starts, eyes coming down to look at the plastic bag set by your feet, “please tell me you brought any sort of alcohol.”

You lift your hand off Jungkook’s thigh, leaning forward to rummage through the bottom of your bag and pulling out colorful cans of soju. You wave two of them in your hands in offering, tossing them both to Jimin when he cheers obnoxiously, pulling out another two for you and Jungkook to enjoy.

The four of you crack open the cans, bringing them together in cheers to prepare to down the entire thing as fast as you could before anyone could possibly rat you out. You manage half of it before having to pull back, the carbonation in the drink burning your nose and throat more than the soju in it, “Fuck, why did you get these?” Jimin coughs, fingers coming up to rub at his nose.

“They look like soda cans, I was trying to be inconspicuous.” Jungkook laughs at your pained expression, setting his drink on the floor to get up and grab some of the snacks to make s’mores.

Chaeyoung raises her finished can in the air in victory, licking her lips with a slight grimace, “Done!” She crumples up the can for dramatic effect, you and Jimin staring at her in shock and then looking at each other to see who could finish the rest of their drink faster.

Jimin manages three more gulps until he pulls back again, “Nope,” he coughs, letting out a burp as he pounds onto his chest, “can’t do it.” You finish your own can, tossing it into the second reusable bag you brought thats not being occupied. Chaeyoung jokingly calls Jimin a baby, taking his own can to finish off herself.

When Jungkook returns with his snacks & two metal skewers they fall into their own conversation and Jungkook is thankful because even though Chaeyoung seems okay with him he still feels like if he says the wrong thing she’ll turn and call him a fuck boy or something of that nature.

You reach for a skewer, popping a fluffy marshmallow onto the top of it and leaning forward to reach the fire. He mimics your actions, the both of you giggling when he drops his hand too low and his marshmallow burns a little too hot for a moment.

“Do you like your marshmallows well done?” He asks you as he looks at your fluffy snack hovering over the fire way too low since you were focused on staring at his, a teasing grin on his face, “‘Cause that shit is charred.”

You gasp as you pull back your now black marshmallow, frantically blowing on it when you notice its now entirely burnt and Jungkook cant help but laugh at the frown on your face. He pulls his own perfectly toasted marshmallow up towards your face to mock you, only laughing harder when you bring your own burnt one up beside it to compare them.

“I can still salvage it.” You try to convince yourself, your fingers trying to scrape and pluck away the burnt edges but Jungkook knows as well as you do that it’s beyond repair. While you focus on your failed attempt Jungkook prepares his own s’more, putting two pieces of chocolate around the gooey marshmallow and sandwiching it between the cinnamon crackers.

When he brings it up to your face with a sweet smile the frown on your face deepens at the nice motion, you take a small bite of it and let out a sound of satisfaction when the sweetness hits your tongue, “So good!”

He motions for you to finish it but you just take it from him and force feed it back to him, your hand cupping his cheek to push his lips open and its not until he lets out another laugh that you’re able to pop the rest of the treat into his mouth with no resistance. His cheeks are puffed up and he has a bit of chocolate smeared around his lips, looking absolutely adorable and you really can’t stop yourself from cupping both of his cheeks like an annoying auntie and cooing at him which only makes his cheeks warm up, his mouth coming to life to munch away to get his cheeks to deflate again.

“Cute.”

The following week goes on like normal except for the fact that now you’re slammed with work and school, barely getting a moment to see any of your friends between the chaos of it all. Jungkook has a small moment where he thinks he did something wrong since you seemed to drop off the face of the earth after the bonfire. You had both had a great time, a small buzz coursing through you from the soju and you had convinced him to cram with you on the oversized bean bags to watch the movie playing but your lack of communication even after your shared class has him slightly worried.

He’s currently sat at his desk, fingers tapping on his laptops keyboard as he tried to finish the last 300 words needed for this essay. Taehyung is sat at his own desk and it’s not until he starts to groan and furiously key smash that Jungkook stops what he’s doing to turn around and check on his roommates mental health. “You okay?”

Taehyung groans with his cheek pressed against the buttons on his keyboard, a constant string of the letter f being typed onto his own essay, “Sorry.” He apologizes when he realizes how loud he’s being, “If this is way more information than you were looking for I don’t care, but I haven’t gotten laid in over a week so I’m dying.”

Jungkook just laughs at the vulgar behavior that just comes naturally to Taehyung, until he realizes that his roommates statement of recent celibacy means he hasn’t seen you either. Taehyung lifts his head up, his fingers coming up to scratch as his faded red hair, deciding he should get to work and stop distracting his roommate with information on his personal life.

The tapping continues and Jungkook slides his phone out to send you a text to see if you were doing okay since he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t seen you recently. He sets his phone down after pressing send, letting the screen stay lit up as he goes back to his work, his eyes constantly darting back to check for any sign of life on your end.

When it vibrates against the desk he peers over to read your response, saying that work and school were ending your social life along with a photo of your current view at work being a desktop lined up with photos you were sorting through, a few textbooks to the left of it to show you trying your best to multitask.

Yoongi looks up from his own spot, peering over his computer to watch you stop whatever it is you’re doing to grab your phone the second it vibrates, small giggles leaving your body as you banter back and forth with Jungkook for the remainder of your shift. Yoongi knows you’re a sucker, he’s just waiting for you to realize it too.

It’s not until nearly a week and a half later that you have a minute to spare, your time already being occupied by Taehyung since he had begged and pleaded for you to help him with his hair dilemma. He’s determined to be Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul and desperately needs to bleach out the faded ass red form his hair while also tackling his roots.

You’re sat on his desk chair while he sits on the floor between your legs with a bowl of bleach being held in his hands. You have teeny tiny foils in his hair to focus on the red ends first, your hands coming down to dip the tint brush into the thick bleach to coat onto his hair and then securely fold up the foils. “I really hope this comes out.” You mumble out as you fold up the final piece of foil, placing the brush into the remaining bleach for later.

“Me too, that costume is the only thing holding my life together.”

He reaches over to set the bowl onto the desk beside the two of you, coming back to get comfortable again between your legs, “Whys that?”

He whips around dramatically, an exasperated look on his face, “Whys that?” He mocks, his fingers coming up to grip your thighs, “I haven’t fucked you in ages.” He whines out, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs harder. The foils on his head crinkle as he drops his face onto your stomach and you just roll your eyes at how he’s acting because it’s only been two weeks.

“You have a hand Taehyung.”

“It’s not the same!”

“Wow,” you laugh out, your hand coming up to awkwardly pat his tinfoil head, “I’ve just been overwhelmed with my current work load.” You explain your current situation, how all your professors were assigning massive projects back to back combined with the extra work at your job, it was taking its toll on you. You enjoy your classes and love your new job but you haven’t been able to catch a break lately.

“Let me help you ease your stress.” He mumbles out against the fabric of your shirt, his hands trailing up from their spot on your thighs up towards your center.

“I’m not fucking you while you have that shit in your hair.”

And just like that he deflates, his arms dropping like deadweight as he crumbles back to the floor like a child. “Fine.”

He stays in that same position, letting you pat your hand on his head as you both scrolled through your phones, only standing up after you had applied the bleach to his roots and deemed it ready to wash.

You make your way to the boys restroom, Taehyung shoving his head underneath the weak stream of water coming from the sink as you help him rinse the bleach from his hair. He stays with his head bowed forward, his eyes squeezed shut as you applied the purple toner you had mixed.

When you step away to rinse your hands he stands back up to stare at his reflection in the mirror, the skin around his hairline is red from irritation thanks to the bleach and the toner had turned a very scary shade of purple but he trusts you so he doesn’t panic.

“Just fifteen minutes max and then you’re good to go baby.” His eyes move to stare at you from the reflection, seeing you staring at him with a smile, he looks so cute with his hair balled up on top of his head, his eyes wide and curious.

“Then we can fuck?” Yup, and that cute innocent look is gone, but that tiny smile spreading on his face makes you crack, “Yes Tae, then we can fuck.”

So when the timer goes off Taehyung rips off his clothes, surely staining his shirt with the dye on his head but thats a problem for a later date, the shirt laying forgotten on the floor in the corner as he approaches the showers with his hand wrapped around your arm. “In here?” You shout out, your voice bouncing off the tiled room. It’s currently not occupied but you’re not sure how long that’s gonna last for.

“Why not? I don’t wanna wait any longer.” He shrugs, throwing open the shower curtain and letting out a loud scream when he comes face to face with that cursed skeleton everyone on his floor keeps moving around. You burst into laughter and he joins in, his hand clutching his chest to try to slow his heart beat. “Okay, that one’s occupied.” He closes the curtain and moves to the very last one instead.

You pick up his shirt and ball it up to toss it on the bench in front of the shower stall he chose. Your eyes roam the room again, seeing the coast was clear as Taehyung fidgets with the water temperature. He peeks back out to slip out of his sweats and boxers, wiggling his eyebrows as he kicks them to lay beneath the same bench his shirt was on. Your mind was made up, your hands lifting your shirt up and off of you, sliding down the comfy lounging shorts you have on and Taehyung groans when he notices you don’t have any underwear on.

“You knew this was gonna happen didn’t you?”

You kick your clothing over to join his, “Wishful thinking?” You respond with a smirk, squealing loudly when his arm wraps around your waist to drag you into the awaiting stall.

“Wash that off first!” You warn him, pushing his face away from yours. He sighs and crouches down, tilting his head back so you can help him rinse the toner out of his hair. When he’s all clean you pat his cheek, letting him stand up properly and tower over you. He’s giving you that half smirk, his body backing you up against the shower wall, his back successfully blocking the stream of the shower from you because he knows you’re really not trying to get your hair wet.

“You know, you look kinda hot with silver hair.” His eyebrows raise up at your statement, his head tilting slightly, “Kinda like-” You gasp when his fingers make contact with your waist, starting to trail them down, that teasing smirk still on his face as he waits for you to finish your sentence, “like a real life anime character.”

He hums, “Oh? Does that turn you on?”

You just nod, your teeth chewing on your bottom lip as you stared up at him. When his fingers pass your hips and dip down to part your lips his mouth opens up in fake shock, “Messy baby, you weren’t lying. You’re so wet already.”

The groan you let out hardly gets muffled by the noise of the shower but thats the last of your worries right now, your mind too focused on the feeling of his fingers gathering up your arousal, trailing up and down your slit teasingly, “I can’t help it, it’s been too long.” And he knows this, stepping even closer to lock your lips in a heated kiss, it’s been way too long.

He starts to circle his fingers around your entrance but you shake your head, your lips pulling back from his with a small gasp, “No, just fuck me please.” He rests his forehead against yours, his cock throbbing at how desperate your voice sounds. Something about how eager and hungry you always were for sex fueled him, always kept him wanting more.

“Whatever you want baby.” He plants a small kiss on your forehead as he places his hands on your waist, twirling you around and pressing your chest against the cold tile. Then theres a loud wet smack echoing from his palm connecting against your ass, another squeal being heard as a giggly but hushed sound of his name leaves your lips.

And as Jungkook stands at the sink, washing his hands after using the bathroom, he feels his heart stop. He had walked in a minute or so ago, hearing the sounds of a couple talking with the shower running and he knew they were gonna fuck because thats honestly a common occurrence but he didn’t know it was you.

The tap keeps running, his hands still stuck under it as his neck cranes to look to the far left where the shower section was. He sees the ball of clothes you two must have kicked off to the side. The white shower curtain being short enough to see the two pairs of feet in the shower and the position they were currently in made it glaringly obvious that Taehyung was pounding into you from behind and as if he needed more confirmation, you just moaned out for him to fuck you harder.

It was when another loud smack echoed out, mixed in with a grunt from Taehyung that he decided he needed to get the fuck out of there. So he did, not bothering to wipe his hands dry as he scurried away, his cheeks burning up and a mysterious feeling in his chest that he could feel spreading to the rest of his body. He never let you guys know what he had witnessed, not even when you both walked back into the room with your clothes clinging on to your still damp body.

The next time you see Jungkook is a few days later as you’re about to enter the cafe. You don’t speak to him because you spot him a few feet away, walking out of the arts building and in the direction of the schools cafeteria. It takes you a moment to even realize it’s him because his hair is no longer black and you have an inkling that Taehyung is the one that helped him with this.

You decide you’ll find him after you get your coffee and enter the shop. Instantly you spot Jisoo stood behind the cash register and she looks flustered when you make eye contact. Regardless you walk up to her and order a caramel macchiato, adding an americano to the mix since you plan on seeing Jungkook right after this anyways.

Jisoo raises her eyebrows when you order the americano, no doubt knowing its for Jungkook since thats always been his drink of choice here. “Thank you by the way.” She speaks up after you finish telling her your order.

Her comment catches you off guard, “Thank you for what?”

She scribbles on the cups before handing them off to her coworker to get started on. The cafe doesn’t currently have anyone else waiting to order so she stays at the register to chat. “For helping Jungkook with our date.”

You’re about to play stupid but she raised her hand to stop you, “Look, I know you’re the one who suggested both dates to him so thanks.” You’re stunned to silence, not really sure how you should respond but she keeps talking, “It’s just a shame isn’t it?”

“What is?” Your arms are now crossed defensively across your chest.

“That all boys want to do is get in your pants, no one likes romance anymore. I thought Jungkook was nice, goes to show all men are pigs.”

You don’t know why that irritates you as much as it does but you can’t stop yourself from snapping at her, “I’m sorry what exactly did Jungkook do to you that was so horrible?” That wasn’t the reaction she was hoping for, her eyes widening slightly at the sharp tone in your voice, “Because from what I know he took you on two very nice dates and you were the one that cornered him in your hallway, beyond ready to get into his pants without even speaking to him. Sounds like you’re the pig here Jisoo.”

Her face blanks, obviously not thinking you knew the details of the date. She was expecting to be able to spill whatever fake warning she had been telling all of her friends to stay away from Jungkook. “If he was truly as horrible as you’re making everyone believe he is he would’ve slept with you and left the second he got what he wanted.” At that moment her coworker came up with both drinks in hand and a grimace on his face at the interaction he had witnessed. You gripped them both and thanked him before walking out of there as fast as you could so you wouldn’t do something irrational.

Your face felt red, not from embarrassment but from holding in your anger. Jungkook didn’t deserve to have someone talk about him like this, he wasn’t a pig, he was the furthest from that. He was a very sweet gentleman who went out of his way to be as polite as he could. Jungkook was very much boyfriend material and it wasn’t fair that Jisoo could bad mouth him all she wanted because she was salty about being rejected.

You were marching down your campus, some of your drink was sloshing out of the opening in the lid, splashing onto your hand and burning the fuck out of it but it wasn’t processing in your mind as you entered the cafeteria and hoped Jungkook was still here.

You pause at the entryway to scan the room, it was full at this hour since most students came here after their 6pm class to catch a bite for dinner. Eyes roaming over each table you spot the new half blonde and half red hair that belongs to Jungkook, he’s sat next to two other boys all of them laughing and goofing off with their trays in front of them. And now you’re unsure if you should approach him, his back is towards you but one of his friends glances up and makes eye contact, offering you a weird smile. Jungkook notices and cranes around to see what the hell his friend is staring at, noticing you standing awkwardly with your two cups of coffee. You expect him to just give you a half assed greeting before he turns around but his smile gets bigger and he’s waving you over.

You shyly smile and make your way over, slipping between the occupied tables to sit in the spot beside Jungkook. “I uh, I saw you coming this way so I got you a coffee since you know.” You motion with your hands and he understands, he hadn’t had his favorite coffee in weeks because he had been avoiding the cafe like the plague.

“Thank you.” He accepts the cup and takes a gulp, exaggerating a moan to show how much he missed it. That makes his friends and you laugh as you mumble out a no problem, your hands cupping your own drink. At the thought of coffee he pauses, grabbing his bag and sorting through it to pull out the mug he promised you.

You gasp when he hands it over, its a slightly bumpy jumbo mug that he had glazed in black, the inside of the cup being glazed white with a small bat being put on the bottom. You flipped it over to analyze it some more, your thumb grazing over the engraving of his initials he put underneath it, “Oh my god, its perfect!”

Jungkooks friends see the way his ears redden the second he handed you the gift and they want to tease him but theyre scared of the beating they’ll get when you’re gone.

“It’s big enough for two cups.” It definitely is, it was deep and pretty wide. You would be putting it to use tomorrow when you needed a morning cup at work. Jungkook watches the way you stare at the mug like its your newest prized possession and he smiles, picking up his cup of coffee again to take a sip.

“Jisoos a bitch by the way.” You blurt out before you can help yourself and the entire table stays silent, your eyes wide in shock that you even said anything at all.

He holds the coffee cup by his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and the cutest pout on his lips, “What do you mean?”

You push your cup a little bit away from you, tugging your sweaters sleeves over your palms, “I mean she’s a bitch.” Point blank period. “When I ordered these she tried to take that opportunity to talk shit about you to me, called you a pig or something.” You fake disinterest, “So I went off on her.”

His friends holler at that, no doubt knowing what happened between him and Jisoo, one of them offers you a high five which you awkwardly accept. Jungkook just stares at you, in disbelief that Jisoo was trying to make him look bad to you of all people, but he was even more surprised that you had been so quick to defend him.

“You didn’t have to do that, but…I appreciate it.” You shrug, a small smile on your face which he reciprocates.

“Oh,” he puts the coffee down again and gestures towards his friends, “by the way, Y/N this is Mingyu and Eunwoo.” They greet you respectfully, Mingyu whispering something into Eunwoo’s ear before he nods and they both start snickering and then Jungkooks swiftly kicking one of their shins under the table, causing the cheap thing to shake.

You jump at the action and Jungkook glares at his friends before looking at you, “Sorry, weird spasm. Are you hungry?” He quickly changes the subject, desperately trying to get you away from his friends before they say some shit to embarrass him in front of you because he knows they will. They had been the ones subjected to the endless texts in the group chat where Jungkook went on mini rants that switched from trying to convince himself and his group that he did not have a crush on you to asking them for advice on how to best approach you.

At his question you realize you are in fact hungry so you get up with him and follow him to the food options, his now empty tray in hand, you grab a tray from the stack in the corner as you see what catches your eye. Jungkook reaches for the mozzarella sticks, plopping a good handful onto a plate and setting it on his tray with a smile. You copy his actions and grab another plate, putting a regular cheeseburger on it along with some fries. Since Jungkook had already had a burger before you got here he settles for a few chicken wings instead, grabbing a drink for himself and another for you when you motion that you want the same one.

“I like the hair by the way.” You finally speak when you’re both swiping your student cards.

He picks one hand up to ruffle his freshly dyed hair, the red and blonde strands falling slightly over his eyes, “Thanks, it’s for Halloween. I was just gonna spray paint it but Tae convinced me to dye it.”

Just as you figured, “Who are you going as, Todoroki?”

He nods quickly, his face showing his obvious excitement, “Yes! Thats exactly who I’m supposed to be. Have you thought of your costume yet?”

With both trays in hand you start the walk back to the table, “Yeah not as nerdy as yours and Tae’s but close enough.” You tease him, not aware of the stares Jungkooks friends were currently giving you two, “I’m dressing up as Raven from Teen Titans.”

He gulps at that, Raven’s costume wasn’t down right in your face sexy but something about you being in a tight black leotard with your legs bare and a cape covering you up has Jungkook’s weeb ass sweating.

And he didn’t have to wait long to see it since Halloween landed on the upcoming Saturday. All of you were gathered at Jimin’s apartment, all in full nerd gear with shot glasses in hand. The party was being held at one of his friends places which meant expensive booze and a nice house, a drastic change from the dirty parties at the delta fucking whatevers so needless to say you guys were all pumped.

It was currently 10:30 at night and you were about to order a few ubers to head over, your body was buzzing from the two shots you’ve taken, enough to loosen you up.

Jimin is currently dressed in full Joker attire, the new version, his blonde hair is temporarily dyed green with paste, slicked back off of his face and it kills you that hes able to rock any look. “You’re the bane of my existence.”

He has his hand wrapped around you with a smile, raising his eyebrows and making the painted red ones lift up too, “It’s not my fault I was blessed with beautiful genes.” You just roll your eyes, declining the third shot he hands you and he just shrugs and takes it instead, keeping his arm around you as he grimaces and slams the shot glass down on the counter in front of you two.

Jungkook is sat on the couch in the living room beside Yoongi who’s dressed liked Naruto and you finally realize what a giant bunch of losers you and your friends are. Namjoon is stood over by the record player that has music filling up the room, dressed up as Gudetama in a comfortable looking onesie, beside him is Jin and his girlfriend Arang who are dressed in matching pumpkin costumes looking adorable as ever. Hoseok is stood next to Taehyung by the liquor bottle a few feet away from you and Jimin, dressed like an inmate, a pair of handcuffs wrapped around one single wrist for show.

Your eyes move back to Jungkook, he’s decked out in full Todoroki gear, a blue tracksuit on with the white accents and belt, even similar boots and the damn burn on his face to finish it off. The way hes sat on the couch with his legs spread out is like an open invitation to be sat on, you always forget how buff Jungkook is but seeing his thick muscles pulling the fabric taut around his thighs is making your mouth water.

“I knew it.” Jimin whispers in your ear when he catches you staring at the younger boy.

“What are you talking about?”

“You are into him, Yoongi mentioned it to me and I noticed it a while back but I didn’t believe it.”

You trust Jimin, he’s undoubtedly your best friend but you’re not ready to admit to feelings you aren’t even sure you fully have yet so you shrug indifferently, “Honestly, I’m just admiring his juicy ass thighs.”

He peers over and stares at them as well, humming in appreciation, “Well you’re not wrong.”

Taehyung pours himself another shot, letting it overflow a bit as he watches you and Jimin staring at Jungkook. He has his Kaneki face mask partially tugged down to not interfere with his ability to get hammered so the weird grimace he sports is visible for anyone to see. He got it, Jungkook was attractive and muscular and Taehyung had offered to help dye his hair for his costume in hopes that it would land him a chick tonight so he’d back off of you but his plan seems to be backfiring on him.

Taehyung hates that he feels the jealousy blooming in him when he sees you walk over to Jungkook, offering him a shot with a grin, sitting down beside him and laughing at the way he crinkles his nose. He swears he doesn’t feel jealous because he likes you deeper than the current arrangement you both have, its just that stupid territorial mindset he never fully grew out of taking over. He was currently still sober enough which is why he was trying so hard to squish it down, thats all it was.

He knows if you turned around and decided to stop sleeping with him and moved on to Jungkook for that or even a relationship he wouldn’t fight you on it because you could do whatever you wanted but he was hoping what you two had would have lasted longer than a few months and you wouldn’t be setting your sights on his roommate of all people or at least had the decency to tell him. Its not until Hoseok swats his arm, giving him a weird glare, that he snaps him out of blatantly staring at you and Jungkook.

When the ubers finally come you all split up to make yourselves fit into them, Taehyung lucking out and getting stuck in the uber you, Jungkook, and Jimin were in, leaving you sandwiched between him and Jungkook in the back row while Jimin occupied the passengers seat. Taehyung is tense in his seat and you can feel it, his hands clenched and resting on his lap as he stares out the window, counting down the seconds until you all pull up in front of the giant house party.

“It’s my friend Taemin’s house, he’s honestly probably hammered already.” Jimin says once your whole group is gathered on the front lawn. He takes the lead and walks up the path laid out, opening the door to enter the booming house, loud house music being blasted from the giant speakers in the corners.

“Holy shit.” Namjoon speaks out, his eyes taking in how enormous the house was. The ceilings were stupid high, an expensive looking chandelier being the main focus in the current room but it was clear the home owner didn’t pay it much attention considering the shiny diamonds were currently covered in those fake cobwebs.

“How many people are even here?” Arang speaks up as you all make your way deeper into the house. The place is swarming with people, all in their own costumes and you don’t believe that Taemin even knows everyone here.

“Probably a few hundred people, a thousand if he’s fucking insane.” Jimin laughs, his hand coming up to point across the room as he finally spots Taemin in the second living room area he had. He was sat on the couch, looking pretty drunk but the second he spotted Jimin he sprung up and met him halfway in a clumsy hug.

“Thanks for coming out you guys.” He speaks up like he actually knows who you all are even though you’re all strangers, “Feel free to drink whatever you want, theres no rules just please don’t break my shit. Theres also a costume contest happening at midnight with some cash prizes.” When he finishes his little host speech he bows dramatically before someone else calls out for him and he’s gone.

You and your friends don’t need to be told twice, instantly gravitating towards the drinks to get as drunk as everyone else seemed to already be. The array of pricey liquor has you wanting to cry, you absolutely loved the rich for this reason only. The one thing you’re all good at is getting absolutely sauced so it doesn’t take long for you guys to catch up.

Little by little everyone slowly splitting up when the night progresses, there was too much going on in all the different areas of the house, along with who knows what happening in the backyard but you’re pretty sure theres a pool out there, something you would definitely be avoiding because it was freezing.

Hoseok and you end up together as you usually do, being designated party buddies. You’re stood at the back of a room thats currently having a very drunk karaoke concert going on, a very dramatic rendition of Dont Stop Believing being the song of choice and you’re both clapping your hands anc cheering along when the six foot tall Ash Ketchum goes out of his way to make his own adlibs.

You tell Hoseok you’ll be right back as you venture back out of the room to go grab another mixed drink. On your way there you spot Jungkook sat on the couch beside Namjoon, a very pretty girl stood beside him, trying her best to get his attention but he’s either not interested or completely oblivious to her advances because he brushes her off and starts a conversation with Namjoon instead. You’re pouring your drink into your cup when the girl walks away from him with a roll of her eyes, saying something to her waiting group of friends before they all make their way outside.

Just as you’re about to go over to him Taehyung pops up on your left, slinging his arm over you in the sloppy way that lets you know he’s been throwing back way more shots than you have. “Can I ask you something?” He slurs into your ear, choosing to stand in front of you, putting you between him and the counter behind you.

“Sure.” You say as you take a sip of your strong drink, your eyes looking up at him and seeing them glazed over, a hint of uncertainty in them.

He looks down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, the three tequila shots he just took minutes ago doing nothing to stop him from squishing down his emotions now, “Are you fucking Jungkook?”

You quickly swallow the liquid in your mouth so you don’t spit it out, your face showing how absurd you think his question is, “What? No?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you, not entirely believing you because of how you two have been acting recently, he sees the way Jungkook acts whenever you text him and he knew you two had started to hang out more on your own. And he would’ve thought it was a normal hang out until Jimin had uploaded a video of the bonfire and he had seen you two making cutesy eyes at each other as you fed him a s’more.

You can see the gears turning in his head but you speak up again before he has a chance to say some stupid shit, “How drunk are you?”

“Drunk enough!” He shouts back and thats confirmation enough for you to know that whatever conversation he thinks he wants to have right now will have to wait.

“Okay you weirdo, get a grip please and back off.” His current attitude was getting on your nerves only because it’s something you’re not used to dealing with when it came to him. Even though you’re half kidding at your statement there’s still some truth to it and he hears it loud and clear, stepping back like a toddler and giving you some space. He mumbles something out about going to find Jimin but you don’t pay it any mind, just nodding along as you drink more of your concoction and go back to join Hoseok in the karaoke room again.

Another hour passes, a few minutes shy of midnight so you know the costume contest will be taking place soon. You and Hoseok have drifted away from each other, him deciding to go join the dance floor at the front of the house where as you find yourself watching an intense game of guitar hero being played. The giant flat screen lets any onlooker clearly see the battle happening and you don’t notice Jungkook beside you until he’s nudging you with his hip, a goofy smile on his face when you stumble over slightly.

“You really suit this character.” He’s standing there with his arms crossed and for one of the first times since you’ve known him he has this very confident aura coming from him. Maybe it’s because he’s had too much to drink to care or maybe it’s because he feels like he’s in his element in this dorky costume but confidence looks good on him.

“Should I just live my entire life as Todoroki then?”

His eyes are glassy from the alcohol and his cheeks are pink but he can tell you’ve had a bit more to drink than him, your tongue becoming too loose to hold anything back, “I definitely wouldn’t mind it.” When he notices your eyes raking up his body and back down, stopping at his thighs once more before looking at his eyes again, he just blushes and chooses to uncross his arms to take a sip of his drink.

He’s been noticing your constant eyeing of his thighs, having caught you staring at them at Jimin’s place earlier tonight, and now that you were drunk you were doing a worse job at trying to play it off. “Has anyone ever told you that your thighs are beautiful?” You finally address it.

Jungkook raises both of his eyebrows, looking down at himself, shifting his weight between both legs and stretching one out. “Can’t say they have.”

“Just wanna bite em…” You mumble under your breath and he chuckles, catching your words but not speaking on it. The shots are definitely seeping further into your blood because your hands are coming up and out, grabbing the meaty skin of his right thigh and he’s yelping from the shock, jumping slightly before balancing out so his drink wouldn’t spill.

You’re grinning sweetly as you give his thigh another quick squeeze and retreat back. You only hum in thought, your mind wondering what they look like under the pants he’s currently wearing. Jungkook is still too caught off guard, any words he wants to say getting stuck in his throat as he observes the room to see if anyone saw that.

The reality of what you just did slowly sinks in and he catches the switch, your eyes sharpening up and you take a very small step back, “Are none of these girls good enough for you?”

“What?”

You nervously swallow more of your drink which probably isn’t wise because look at what you had already done with the alcohol already in your system, “I promised you I’d get you laid by the end of this month and i’ve seen like four girls come up to you and you blew them off.”

That was true, he had done that all night but it had been such an automatic response that he wasn’t sure why he had, something about sleeping with a complete stranger in another strangers home felt wrong. That and the fact that he wanted to sleep with you was also getting in the way, but his inner self currently had that thought in a headlock, a very loose and slowly weakening headlock but a headlock nonetheless, so he was ignoring it.

“They didn’t even know who I’m supposed to be.” He lies as an excuse and it makes you laugh, tipping your cup up and pouring the rest of its contents down your throat.

“Is that you’re only reason?”

He nods stubbornly, sticking with his horrible excuse until it turns around and bites him in the ass. “Well I know who you’re supposed to be, so what does that mean?”

He blanks at that, really not expecting the turn this would take. You watch him, his big doe eyes only getting bigger at your words. He rolls his lips together in thought, his mind sorting through all the appropriate responses he could say. During his distraction he doesn’t notice his inner self releasing the headlock grip he had on his feelings until it’s too late and they’re spilling out into the open.

“It means I wanna fuck you.”

Yeah. That wasn’t what he wanted to say, at all, but his filter had clearly been lost a few shots back and when you don’t immediately slap him he doesn’t think he fucked up entirely.

“You wanna fuck me?” You repeat slowly, stepping closer to him. You had a feeling he did based on that drunk text he had sent you but you had to make sure he really wanted to and this wasn’t just a nervous response. Jimin and Yoongi were right in their observations of both of you, you wanted to sleep with him, you have ever since that night in your room and the realistic dreams involving him haven’t stopped so maybe once you sleep with him everything will mellow out in your brain.

This isn’t a crush, you try to convince yourself, this is just your hormones talking. It’s not your fault that imaginary Jungkook would moan such sweet praises in your ear while you dreamed, thats why you were stuck wearing i’m horny for jungkook glasses, and once you slept with each other all would be fine.

His eyes look around, he could see Tae and Jimin stood near the kitchen, Tae doubling over in laughter at something being said and when you see who he’s looking up it only annoys you. Taehyung didn’t have this claim on you and you knew Jungkook was just worried because he didn’t fully believe no feelings were involved between you and Tae but you were sick of people thinking you belonged to him.

You raise your hand up to cup his cheek, bringing his attention back to you, “I asked you a question Jungkook.”

He looks back over to you, seeing your own eyes staring up at him and he finds himself nodding his head. Sure you both aren’t sober at all and will he be embarrassed about this once he is, probably, but he knows he’ll regret not being completely honest tomorrow morning if he says no.

At his confirmation you smile, you had spotted the staircase nearby, knowing there would be rooms you two could occupy but when you start to tug him in the direction of it he resists.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel right using someone’s room to do this.” Jungkook wasn’t a virgin so you knew he wasn’t wanting this to be a certain way for his first time but he’d only ever been intimate with one person and it hadn’t gone the way he wanted at all so if he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with you in this house it was fine by you.

“Do you want to go back to mine then?” The urgency that usually came with party hook ups was missing, you didn’t feel rushed to get in a room and tear his clothes off without speaking to each other, he wasn’t just a hook up.

When he nods his head you don’t think twice to pull him in the direction towards the front door, a loud tapping noise stopping you both in your tracks. Everyone stops talking, turning towards the source of the noise and seeing Taemin stood on top of his coffee table with a microphone in hand, his finger tapping the top of it to check it.

“Okay, fuck it works dude!” Jimin shouted out, everyones hands coming up to cover their ears when Taemin just laughs loudly into the mic.

It was time for the costume contest and as much as you wouldn’t mind seeing who won or even potentially winning the cash prize yourself, the thought of finally getting to sleep with Jungkook wins. You look back at him, your eyes asking him if he wants to wait but he shakes his head, his fingers giving your palm another squeeze. You choose not to notify your friends that you were leaving, they were all drunk enough and were already planning on sleeping at Jimin’s after this anyways so you had a few hours before they even noticed you had both disappeared.

Jungkook feels oddly calm, the nerves that had overtaken him when he was in this position the very first time not coming up, even the small sense of uncertainty he felt when it came to Jisoo was gone and he likes it. He likes the feel of your hand in his as you wait for the uber. He likes how you rest your clasped hands on your thigh, your thumb rubbing the back of his palm soothingly and when you finally manage to sneak into your building he likes the way you push him against the elevator wall, your lips slotting between his in the first sign of urgency.

When you lick your way into his mouth he tastes the strong tang of tequila that he’s sure you can taste from him as well but he doesn’t mind it. His hands coming up to wrap around your waist, the thin material of your leotard letting you feel his touch as his fingers dig into your waist to pull you closer to him. You’re on your tip toes and he’s leaning over to match your height, the sound of the elevator ding making you both pull apart with heavy sighs.

You twirl back around, your head peaking out of the elevator to make sure the coast was clear since you technically weren’t allowed to have Jungkook over at this time. Once you saw the hallway was clear you wrapped your hand over his wrist, tugging him to your door in a haste to get out of the open. You make it a few feet when the sound of the bathroom door opening makes you both freeze, Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut as he waits for someone to start to scold you both. You’re waiting for it too, especially when you turn around and spot Jihyo, your RA, standing in the middle of the hallway right in front of the bathroom door.

She’s currently rubbing her eyes, tipsy and in a revealing Sailor Mars costume. When she spots you and Jungkook looking just as tipsy and your lips swollen she just sighs, throwing her head back dramatically, “Go, hurry up and get in your room. I didn’t see anything.” You throw her a thankful look and she just shields her eyes as she makes her way back into her room, you don’t waste anymore time as you slide your key card out of your bra and unlock your room.

“Wait, your roommate.” Jungkook whispers, just now realizing that she existed. He’s stood right on the door’s threshold, refusing to come in until you literally force him, your hand tugging him in. His hands grasp your shoulders to not knock you over from the force of your pull, he finally gets a chance to look around when you flick your light on and he notices Wendy is no where to be found.

“She’s went out of town for Halloween, we’re fine, now please kiss me.” The door shuts behind Jungkook, that answer satisfies him, his hands moving off your shoulders to cup your face and bring you in for another kiss. Your mind feels like its floating as he starts to walk, leading you backwards towards your bed.

Your hands slide up his chest as you make your way to your bed, your fingers clasping the zipper of his costume and tugging it down, revealing his bare skin. He had decided not to wear anything underneath his tracksuit, he always got hot and sweaty when he was drunk so he didn’t want to add more layers than necessary, and luckily it worked in his favor.

Your fingertips leave a hot trail on his skin as you work on getting this article of clothing off of him, his hands coming away from your face as you push the sleeves down his arms, the material falling onto the floor in a heap. His lips never part from yours, his actions getting more confident, his kisses getting more urgent because he can’t seem to get enough of you.

His hands trail up to unclasp the cape around your shoulders, letting the crushed velvet garment join his top on the floor, and then its a race of getting the rest of your clothing off. You pull back from him your lips smacking together one final time when you step back, your eyes finally getting to see him shirtless for the first time.

Is he for real? Was he sculpted by the fucking gods themselves because this wasn’t fair. You always knew Jungkook worked out like a madman but you never expected him to look like this. His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, the muscles in his arms rippling as he fidgeted with the stupid belt he had on and when he finally got it off and was able to slide out of his boots and pants your wishes were granted in the form of his thighs.

You had forgotten about sliding out of your leotard and belt, your boots were kicked off to the side but when his thick thighs were exposed you dropped to the floor in front of him. Jungkook wasn’t expecting that, part of him thought you might of passed out or something from how suddenly you collapsed but when your hand come up to trail his thighs he knows you’re fine.

“Are you joking?” You mumble out, your mind acting on it’s own accord, you press open mouth kisses on his thighs, your fingers giving them small squeeze as you kiss your way up to the band of his briefs.

Jungkook had fantasized about this so many times put now that you were sitting right in front of him on your knees, your mouth kissing his dick over the fabric of his briefs, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from blowing his load the second you put it in your mouth.

“Have you ever had a blowjob Kookie?” The nickname is new but he likes it, especially when he sees how you look at him when you say it, your eyes widening slightly when he shakes his head. No he’s never had a blowjob and as much as he wants to experience his first one from you he won’t ever let himself live it down if he cums before he gets a chance to fuck you.

“Can I be honest?” He mumbles out as your fingers slip underneath the band of his briefs, beginning to tug it down slowly, his legs stepping out of the material as it bunches around his ankles.

His cock springs out without the restraint of his briefs and your mouth salivates at the sight of it. Of course Jeon Jungkook would have a beautiful big dick, its veiny with a slight upward curve, the girth of it making you bite your lip in anticipation of it stretching you open. Your eyes move back up to him and you smile gently, “Yeah of course.”

He moves his own hands to cover your smaller ones, his fingers wrapping around your fingertips to lift them off his skin. “Can we…do that next time,” it slips out before he can catch it, indication of this happening again and you take note of it, the lust clouding your mind not being against that happening, “I just really wanna fuck you.” He confesses, his body bending over, his arms hooking under your arms to scoop you up from the floor with ease.

“Yeah,” you breathe out as he stands you up, his hands cupping your cheeks with care, his thumb tracing your skin as he stares down at you, “we can do that next time.”

You reach out and let your hands touch his waist, the feel of his bare skin making you realize he’s the only one naked right now. You turn him around so his back is facing your bed, your hands gently pushing him back onto it.

He catches himself with his palms, sliding back onto your bed until he’s laying against the pillows you have set up. He watches as you reach back to unclasp the ruby belt you have, letting it fall with a clank as you move on to unbutton the top of your leotard, slipping the skin tight fabric off of your body.

Jungkook can feel his dick twitch against his abs at the sight of you, you crawl onto the bed, your fingers trailing up his thighs as you straddle him in a similar way that brings back memories of a few weeks ago. The feeling of you sat on top of him with no barrier is something he never thought he’d experience and when he feels the slick glide of you grinding down on his cock his stomach caves in, a groan leaving his lips. His fingers come up to grip your hips, your own hands wrapping around his neck as you smile down on him.

“Feel good?” You ask him, a tiny gasp escaping you when you repeat your actions and his cock nudges your clit.

His eyes move down to stare at the spot where you connect, seeing how shiny you’re leaving him as your arousal mixes with his precum makes his mouth drop open in awe. “Yeah, feels good.” He whispers out, his hands gripping your skin tighter to make you rut on him faster.

You can see the desperation growing on him, the shy Jungkook you were so accustomed to nowhere to be found as he rolled his hips up to meet your motions, his head dropping back into the pillows with a moan. With his neck wide open you lean forward, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, your teeth gently nipping at his skin, making his hips stutter.

Blame mistake number one on you wanting to see Jungkook fully fall apart underneath you but you’re not thinking too much when you reach down and grasp his cock, letting the tip of it nudge your entrance. You know you’re clean and on birth control and unless he’s been lying to you, you assume he should be clean as well.

His head snaps up at the new sensation, and Jungkook may be inexperienced but he’s not stupid, “Wait–“ You think he’s stopping you because you haven’t pulled out a condom so you pause, giving him a curious look but his mind is too full of want that he doesn’t even process the fact that there isn’t a condom “it’s gonna hurt you.” He wants to finger you, stretch you open and let his fingers explore your body until you falling apart.

“It’s okay, I like that.” You admit, giggling when you see his cheeks flush. You go back to nudging the tip of him into you, the feeling of it breaching your entrance has you moaning and Jungkook drops one hand off your hip to clutch your comforter instead, his fingers clenching around the fabric as your walls wrap around the tip of him.

“Fuck,” you groan out, he was big but the feeling of him stretching you out had another gush of arousal slip out of you, only aiding in letting you slide down another inch or so. Your hands come forward to rest on his stomach as you wait a moment, Jungkook can feel you clenching around the first few inches of him, his eyebrows furrowed together tightly at the feeling of your warmth enveloping him all around.

You relax your muscles, letting the rest of him slide into you, the tip of him just shy of nudging your cervix when you’re fully sat on him. You give him a moment to adjust, waiting until his eyes open up again, “Please move.” He croaks out, his hand coming back up to your hips to get you to do anything because the feeling of you just clenching around him was killing him.

His desperation turns you on and you start to move instantly, grinding on him to let yourself get used to the size of him before you start to lift yourself up, slamming back down, the slap of your skin connecting filling up the dorm room.

As you stare down at him you have to pinch yourself because the visual of him whimpering underneath you is an exact replica of the dreams you’ve been having. A needy Jungkook kneading the flesh of your hips, rutting his own hips up to meet you, his big eyes blown out with lust and adoration in the same damn way you’ve been dreaming about and you know you’re done for.

Jungkook can say the same, the countless times he’s dreamt of you doing this to him has him thinking he’s stuck in a dream, ready to wake up to his roommate tossing a pillow at him but it never comes because you’re actually here. You’re here on top of him, riding him like it’s something you’ve always wanted. His hand trails up from your hip to grasp your bouncing boob, giving it an experimental squeeze, his thumb and index finger tweaking your nipple and enjoying the way you moan from it.

He can feel your arousal dripping down his length every time you lift up, the remnants of it pooling around the base of his cock, he can see it as his eyes are glued to the way your lips part to take his length in. He can feel you start to get tired from the constant motion, your movements slowing down slightly so he takes it upon himself to wrap his arms around you and bring you closer to his chest, successfully flipping you over underneath him.

Your hair fans out around you and you stare up at him in shock, never thinking he’d do something like that but it only lasts a minute before hes sliding back into you. His hands are by your face, caging your body underneath his as he pounds into you.

His jaw is clenched tightly when he feels you wrap your arms around his shoulders, your fingers trying to cling onto his back from the force of his thrusts. “Do you want it harder?” He grunts out, looking down at you to see you nodding frantically, your legs wrapping around his waist to push him deeper into you.

“Please ple–“ you gasp when he slides out before rearing back into you, starting a brutal pace that you didn’t think he was capable of. “Just like that. God Jungkook.” You cry out and he feels his chest fill with pride. You were moaning out his name, he was the one making you feel this way.

You can feel him graze your bundle of nerves every time he thrusts forward, a high pitched moan leaving you and he does another experimental thrust to find the exact spot, angling his hips until you’re gasping and then he’s grinding right into it every time. Determined to get you to cum before him he keeps it up, he can feel his climax creeping in on him, you’re squeezing him so tight its almost impossible to thrust into you but he can tell you’re close when your hand comes down to rub your clit and he almost cums from that sight alone.

Seeing you squirming underneath him as your fingers worked to push yourself over the edge just made him thrust harder into you, a deep groan leaving his mouth when you gasped out, your walls clamping around him even tighter than before as you threw your head back. You had enough sense to clasp a hand over your mouth before you moaned out at as your body twitched from your orgasm, the feeling of Jungkook continuing to pound into you only making more muffled whimpers leave you from the overstimulation.

“Fuck you feel so good.” He mumbles out, his head dropping forward to rest between your neck and shoulder as he starts to rut faster into you. Your toes are curling from the after shocks of your climax, the tingles all over your body being the cause of mistake number two, “Cum inside me Jungkook, please.”

His face lifts back up at your statement, checking to make sure you mean it and when you nod and press your lips against his for another heated kiss he doesn’t hold back. His hips rolling into yours with new found energy, your body being jostled up at his action but you don’t care when all you taste is him, your kisses swallowing the desperate whine that leave him as he nears his end. His thrusts get sloppier until he’s groaning out deeply, his hips stuttering as his cock paints your walls white. You moan again at the feeling of his warm cum inside of you, letting him roll his hips a few more times as you kiss him gently to bring him back down.

His arms fail him, his body flopping on top of you in a heap, his muscles absolutely crushing you but the way he wraps your arms underneath your waist and nuzzles into you makes you forget about your inability to breath. His face is pressed against your neck under your chin, his soft dick is still inside you and he really doesn’t want to pull it out, he’d be perfectly content with going to sleep and waking up in this position.

You keep your legs wrapped around his waist, your fingers gently playing with his damp hair, “I miss your black hair.” You mumble out, breaking the silence that fell over the room.

He hums against your neck, kissing your skin gently in content when you scratch his scalp, “I’ll dye it back for you.”

You don’t know why that statement makes your heart swell but it does, your lips coming down to kiss his hair before laying back down. The both of you catch your breaths like this, Jungkook having his cheek pressed against your skin and you gently massaging his head.

He can feel the sweat on your skin start to get sticky so he decides nows a good time to pull apart, his skin peeling off of you and you’re both grimacing when he finally slides out of you, a small gush of his cum dripping out of your entrance and you squeeze your thighs shut at the feeling.

Jungkook wants to sit there and stare at his cum staining your skin but he can tell you feel icky from your face so he stands up from the bed and looks around your room, spotting your towel by your desk. He picks it up and comes back to you. His fingers gently pry open your thighs as he starts to clean you up, tossing the towel aside and motioning for you to move so you can get comfy in bed.

You shuffle around until you slide your comforter down, letting him adjust himself so you both fit comfortably. The small feelings of being tipsy are gone, your muscles completely relaxed and sleep starts to overtake you as you feel him move behind you, his arm lazily draping over you as you both start to slowly fall asleep.

“You know,” he gently speaks up, “you promised me you’d get me laid by the end of October.”

You hum in acknowledgment, and he’s smirking into your hair, “It’s technically November though so.”

You giggle softly at this, turning around in his grasp to face him, your leg slipping in between his as you get closer, “Oh how could I ever make it up to you for breaking my promise.” He lets out a fake gasp as your sarcastic response, his fingers wasting no time coming up to playfully jab at your sides, succeeded in making you squirm and laugh until his lips are kissing you again, the urgency and heat from before missing but he likes this way better.

He likes the small laughs in between kisses, the shy licks of your tongue and sighs you let out and in that moment Jungkook feels content.

Jungkook doesn’t think of whats going to happen tomorrow morning when you both wake up and the initial lust is gone. He doesn’t think of the conversation that’s gonna have to happen once the sun comes up. No he lets himself enjoy this, lets you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. He’ll worry about that when it comes.

[aesudan-kholin]

If Kaladin had actually given Elhokar hero lessons, how do you think those sessions would have gone?

so... i made a post recently about how i understand (i know lots of things, but not understand) literally nothing about them whatsoever. so answering this ask isnt going to keep in line with what i usually do of only saying something if im confident in it and reasonably sure it wont change later. AKA me from the future might not agree with what i think and say now. so just putting that out there.

so the thing about this is it probably never could have happened. elhokar was desperate, and in his desperation, whether this idea of kaladin teaching him was something that he had been stewing on for weeks to months, or something he thought of while drunk (i imagine it would be the former, though he probably didn't think about it in specific, accomplishable ways), he finally worked up the courage with the help of some alcohol to ask kaladin to do this completely un fleshed out plan of figuring out how to make elhokar not be a shit king. now, this was doomed to fail for a few reasons.

number one: elhokar had a very very good chance of legitimately being incapable of being a good king.

maybe he could have ended up (with some guidance) as a good leader at some smaller scale, like a small town, but even that is debatable. kaladin instinctively knows things, and while i definitely think he had a negative bias against elhokar and his King Skillz in that moment due their relationship being at a low point, his instinct saying 'yeah thats never gonna happen' was probably completely correct.

number two: kaladin probably would not agree to it.

2a. in that moment where he did ask, kaladin thought he was being weird as hell and was so fucking confused. he didn't know at all where this was coming from, because he is blind to how other people view him a lot of the time, and by extension how elhokar had been idolizing him. they probably hadn't seen much of each other ever since elhokar tried to execute him and throw him in jail. from kaladin's perspective, elhokar tried to kill him, then is coming to him like he has all the secrets to life, which is very baffling to him. unrelated sidenote i need to rewrite this stupid coppermind article on elhokar i did not write it but i want to fix some shit in here. so kaladin in that situation is like WTF????? in his head but out loud he's like 'um.. i dont know if thats possible for you' which is a rejection. i don't know if he would have said the same words if he was at a relative high point in his opinion of elhokar rather than potentially the lowest point that he got in wor that he was in that chapter (thinking about it the chapter where he was in prison might have been the lowest but this is a low point is what im saying), but thats probably an opinion he would have kept throughout the bumpy road of whatever tf their relationship is.

2b. kaladin has shit to do, man. dude was working double triple shifts in words of radiance, got into urithiru and was like the only windrunner, and was training overtime to train some windrunners to have some squires ready for the expedition to kholinar. after he got back he was made a highmarshall and we dont see too much in the ob-row timeskip but he wasnt getting much sleep either, and he probably had a lot of shit to do when he was awake, battles aside. when would he have had the time to even begin to think about lesson plans for this goal that in his head is sort of unachievable, let alone find time for actually talking to elhokar about shit.

so like even if elhokar did ask at a point where kaladin felt less like he was absolute crap and more like [??????? but more positive than the absolute crap thing], kaladin would still have been like dude what. and kaladin also would have been like dude i do not have the time. even in an elhokar lives au (because the first time kaladin would have potentially had any time whatsoever for that is post-kholinar), shallan would probably be the radiant he was interacting more due to lightweaver reasons. and elhokar has a great deal of respect for shallan as well, certainly not as much as he has for kaladin, but he does value shallan's skill and opinion, and shallan would not only be a lot more willing to give elhokar some support and advice, they would be working closer together anyway because of their shared order. he wouldn't be getting this nebulous "secret to life" stuff that he wanted to get from the guy who survived a highstorm, almost single handedly saved an army, beat shardbearers with nothing but a spear, and fell into the chasms only to crawl back out again even after a highstorm, but, and my future self might disagree on this, but he might have just been looking for advice on how to live his life.

but, all of that aside. lets say that kaladin for some reason decided that it was personally important to him to train elhokar to not be a shit leader, that he potentially thought it was not a lost cause, and if he did then he cared enough to try anyway. postponing kholinar (which he would have the power to do in this case, since elhokar would be listening to whatever he said*) might have given him more time for that after that request, or else he might have had to think about it and agree post-kholinar, which would involve an elhokar lives au, which i dont want to deal with all the implications so im going to say in this scenario he accepted after elhokar asked in wor 80, or maybe directly after urithiru was discovered (aka later that night) with a promise to start teaching him right after he got back from hearthstone. god i feel like alternate history hub. the later that night thing would have been more likely because that is after his whole 180 about elhokar. that way, the weird intense commitment to help elhokar be a better leader was baked in to all the other weird dramatic shifts about how he thought about elhokar.

what i think kaladin would do?

possibility 1: he would have elhokar start small. i think he would have elhokar teach a single person to do something. he would get a new recruit, and tell elhokar to teach him to be a soldier. maybe the new recruit is one of lopens cousins who saw elhokar blackout drunk and being pushed around by lopens mom to eat his food, so he's not intimidated by him. the new guy not being intimidated is key, because he can't just do what elhokar says because he's the king. after the day, kaladin talks to the new recruit then elhokar, seeing what went right and wrong, then tells elhokar what changes to make. if somehow everything went right with that, kaladin would next give him a group of 5 to lead in some way, and if that worked, a group of 50.

possibility 2: a job shadow. either kaladin job shadowing elhokar, watching all his fuck ups happen in real time, and constantly whispering advice which is offputting to the people elhokar is meeting with but its funny. the issue here comes with kaladin not knowing a lot of political theory. as good of a leader as kaladin is (which is insanely), elhokar is more well versed in political theory (as an example think of the time kaladin was like 'why is beating sadeas in a duel going to wreck him its literally just a duel' there would be a lot of situations in elhokar's work as a king that kaladin would probably be similarly confused on), even if he doesn't apply it well. either that, or elhokar job shadowing kaladin, watching kaladin train the windrunners, and breaking to explain some things to elhokar every once in a while, which elhokar would theoretically learn from. the issue here of course comes with how both of these guys both have sort of incredibly important jobs that they could probably only carve out a few hours at most for something like that. unless elhokar abdicated.

abdication.... no i shouldn't go into all of this this should be a separate 2000 word post. but abdication could come into play and is related to that *asterisk earlier.

i can not think of a third possibility, although there probably is one. i would think that possibility 1 would be more likely in my opinion.

some meme possibilities i came up with:

- kaladin lets elhokar borrow syl and elhokar wears a hat and syl is in the hat pulling bits of his hair like ratatouille and basically operating elhokar and she makes him be an ideal windrunner whenever she feels like he's fucking up

- kaladin presides over the document signing meetings and whenever elhokar is about to sign a document he thinks isn't good he slaps the pen out of his hand and has a disapproving glare. elhokar has to do the walk of shame across the room to get the pen everytime this happens

- training montage with "Gonna Fly Now" in the background where there is no dialogue and it just shows elhokar visibly failing and he tries to lift a rock with a piece of paper on it that says "kingly responsibility" and fails and kaladin shakes his head, then there's a training montage of idk him learning the spear or training other bridgemen or other kaladin-y things and wearing a bandana for no reason then by the end of the montage he successfully lifts the kingly responsibility rock

- they just completely switch jobs for a while while elhokar gets his shit together. all hail king kaladin

(+ my first thoughts)

[walkerwords]

“By Firelight” Rick Grimes x F!Reader

Word Count: 2143

Summary: After escaping Terminus, you and the other survivors are on the run. You are a bit of a loner, but Rick has had his eye on your for a bit. Though, you’ve been pushing him away because you don’t think you deserve him. One night on watch, you finally take that jump in the light of the fire.

Warning: None

Song I Wrote To: “Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1)” by AURORA

Note: This is just a short thing I wrote. It is loosely based on the Halsey song: I HATE EVERYBODY and includes some of the lyrics. I am currently workin in Bowman’s sister part II so look out for that. Okay, good night. also if there are typos im sorry im like half awake right now.

------ 

The group walked all day.

You kept ahead with Carl, who just walked with you and didn’t try to talk. Being on the run together for as long as you had, you didn’t need to have conversations, it was enough to just walk alongside each other as friends while keeping a look out for any threats.

You kept your weapon ready and whenever you came across the Dead, you would take them out. Abraham and Rosita were at the rear of the group, looking for stragglers that anyone missed and everyone in between was vigilant. It was a functioning system that had worked for the many months that you all had been traveling together. 

As day turned to night, You started to head back to the main group. Carl had gone back a few hours before to check on Judith and give Rick a break so you were scouting solo. You retraced your steps and found them easily enough. Approaching Rick, you lowered your weapon.

“There’s an old hunter’s shack just up ahead. Plenty of space for us to set up camp outside and get Judith inside in case she starts crying,” you told him, glancing at the giggling baby that Maggie now held. Rick nodded, looking you over.

“And its (Y/L/N) approved?” he asked with a slick smile on his face. You rolled your eyes. 

“Yes, plenty of vantage points and it backs up to a cliff not too far away so I can watch all the directions.”

“You should be watching the inside of your eyelids,” Rick said, giving you a look of concern. “You need sleep, (Y/N).”

“I slept last night,” you reminded him. 

“You work too hard,” he said, gesturing to the bloody spear you held that was soaked in Walker blood.

“Yeah, well, someone has to,” you said and turned away to lead the group to the camp for the night. 

You kept watch as Carl got Judith settled into the small shack, trying his best to keep her shielded from the elements. Around you, the rest of the group began setting up for the night. You caught Gabriel looking at you, but you ignored him. He knew you didn’t trust him. Hell, nobody really trusted the priest. There was just something about him that just pissed you off.

Daryl handled the firewood as always. He always came trudging back into camp with logs stacked high in his arms. They all had parts to play in their group and while you knew that Daryl was just as skilled in a fight as you were, he had been trying to take care of everyone lately. You figured it was to keep his mind off of Beth.  

As the night went on, Tara and Glenn made sure you had something to eat. You ate your portion in silence at the edge of the camp, keeping your ears open for threats in the surrounding trees. There had been a time where you weren’t as sharp and that had led to multiple deaths on your part even before you hooked up with Rick’s group at the prison.

You hadn’t seen the five Walkers and they had killed six of your people, tore them to shreds before your eyes. It had been Rick who had killed the last Walker and tried to convince you it wasn’t your fault, inviting you back to the prison, but you knew the truth: every death was on you.

At least, that’s what it felt like.

You leaned against a nearby tree, your back to the North that had the cliff. Unless the Dead could suddenly fly, nothing would be coming from that direction. Your knives were sheathed to your thighs and your spear lay next to you at the ready. Pulling the tie from your hair, you let your locks loose and scratched at your scalp. You really needed to wash your hair, it was starting to smell worse than the Dead. 

Sitting there, your mind started to wander, thinking of a conversation you had had with Noah the other day. 

Since the incident with the Governor and then at Terminus, you had started to become more reckless. Noah was concerned about you and what you were doing with your life.

You took on too many Walkers at once, barged into buildings without making noise first, and even threw yourself on top of a Walker to save Maggie who clearly didn’t need the help. Whenever someone tried to talk to you about your actions, you pushed them away. Noah said that it seemed like you hated everybody.

In truth, you hated yourself, not everybody. Because if you truly hated everybody, why did you stay and why were you always looking to make sure you weren’t alone? Why were you always looking for Rick?

Rick had always been there, watching you, making sure you were okay. It was always him. You knew that he looked out for you, but lately the two of you had grown closer. It was obvious to everyone. Michonne has even asked you if the two of you had been together at some point. There was a part of you that wished that was true and based on some of the looks Rick gave you, it seemed he wanted it to.

However, you were worried about becoming distracted, no matter how much you wanted the man. And if your own emotions and self guilt were threatening to overcome you, that wouldn’t help anyone. You had to be strong for your people and breaking down over your own fucked up problems would not help anyone. So you kept your eyes on your people and made sure they were safe.

As the fire slowly died down and people around you were snoring peacefully, you listened to the world around you, reading every sound like a word in a book. Analyzing the sharp sounds of a nearby bird or the way a branch snapped in a quick breeze. You could identify a threat and a harmless natural occurrence faster than anybody else, except maybe Daryl. It was why nobody argued with you when you kept watch. 

A sound to your right had your hand sliding to your thigh, but you let it drop when you realized who was approaching. Rick moved through the dark, nearly invisible, but his boots was what gave him away. As well as his smell which was a mixture of dirt, blood, and pine needles. He didn’t say anything as he sat down next to you, keeping his eyes forward. His fingers fiddled with a few pieces of dry grass.

“Judith okay?” You asked quietly in the darkness. Rick turned to look at you as his hands stilled. 

“She’s fine,” Rick said. “Carl is with her, Glenn and Maggie too.” 

“That’s good,” you said, letting out a breath. 

After a few more minutes of silence, Rick slowly moved his hand to where you had a grip on one of your weapons. You hadn’t even realized you had been holding onto it that tight.

Without a word, he gently loosened your fingers around the blade’s handle and let your hand fall to the ground. His hand lay next to yours, not wanting to intrude any further, but you did something that surprised him. You slowly laced your fingers between his, feeling the warmth of his palm in yours. 

Rick didn’t move or even question it, he just sat there, breathing in the moment. You sighed, letting your head fall back against the rough bark of the tree. Slowly, your thumb began rubbing small circles on the back of Rick’s hand. You could hear his breathing start to match yours as if you were in tandem. It was peaceful. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked after a moment of silence. 

“Nothing,” you whispered, keeping you eyes on the dying embers before you. 

“You may not think I notice when you’re upset, but I do. I notice a lot more than you think.” Rick shuffled slightly closer, your shoulders now touching and your hand resting on his thigh. The tears came back at his words and he waited for you to speak. 

“I’m broken, Rick,” you began. He didn’t correct you or disagree, he just listened while holding your hand. “I’ve been keeping up this facade that I don’t care about anything and that I hate everyone around me, but it’s not me. It’s not true. I just can’t… I don’t know how to do this.” 

“Do what?” he asked gently. You looked at him as the tears flowed down your face. 

“Be alone.” 

“Who says you have to be?” he asked. “Why do you think that you need to be alone in all of this?” 

“It’s easier,” you admitted. 

“No, it’s not,” he whispered. “Blocking people out and going off your own is the opposite of easy. We need people, especially now. We need each other, (Y/N), We need you,” he paused and tightened his grip on your hand. “I need you.” 

You looked at him through your tears, tilting your head as you always did when you were thinking. “Why?” you whispered. He knew what you were asking without having you explain. 

“Because you smell of lavender and you like bad country music and hate when people walk slow,” he said with a small smile. “Because you call me out on my bullshit and you keep us safe. (Y/N), you are not broken, you’re the one thing that is keeping us together, keeping me together. You say you hate everybody, but maybe you don’t. Maybe you just haven’t found the right somebody.” Rick let his words sink in. He watched your face the best he could in the low light of the moon. You were thinking over everything he said and he was glad that you weren’t running.

Then, you took back your hand. Rick sighed, figuring you were going to tell him to stay out of you business and stalk off, but that wasn’t what you did at all.

Taking the hand that was holding his, you moved it to the side of his face. The beard on his chin and cheeks scratched at your palms as you placed your other hand on his other cheek. You searched his blue eyes, looking for anything that resembled a lie, but you couldn’t see one. 

“I’m always trying to make a memory out of a feeling,” you whispered. 

“What do you feel right now?” he asked, very aware that your faces were moving closer. 

“Not alone,” you said after a moment of silence. Rick rested his forehead against yours, feeling your breath against his face. 

“Then I hope you remember this,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rick placed his hands around your waist, pulling you closer and waited for you to push him away. When you didn’t, he nudged your chin up with his own and pressed his nose against yours. You met him the rest of the way and pressed your lips against his. 

He kissed you in a slow but firm rhythm. Your hands threaded into his soft hair and his moved to cup the back of your neck and the small of your back to pull you even closer.

You sighed into his mouth and he relished in the feeling when your tongues met and you leaned into him. It wasn’t rushed or heated like the other times you had kissed men in your travels. You didn’t want it to be. You felt every firm touch of his fingers and the softness of his lips as he kissed you tenderly. There was no raging heat between you, just a loving warmth that surrounded you both. 

You pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him and he smiled. You matched his expression easily. He whispered something that sounded like your name and you pulled him back to you. Your kisses started to get more languid as you held onto each other. Rick’s hands smoothed down your back and ran along your scalp, creating shudders from you as you held onto him.

Seeing as you were out in the open and on watch, you didn’t take it further as much as you both wanted to. As your fatigue caught up to you, Rick adjusted his position, leaning back against the tree with his gun at the ready and maneuvered you so you lay against his chest. “Sleep, (Y/N),” he said, “I’ll keep watch.”

For the first time in a long time, you nodded and did as he said. You lay your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. You let out a deep breath and as you drifted off to sleep, his words from earlier echoed in her head. You thought you hated everybody, but hell, maybe you didn’t after all.

Note: this is strictly a one-shot. I dont see many rick x read stories and I love rick grimes so fucking much. If you know any good ones, please send them to me. Im desperate. 

[jmnjmnjmn]

Being Friendly | Jikook x Reader

Being Friendly a.k.a. 31 Days To Get Over A Crush

Pairing: Fratboy!Jimin x Sororitygir!Reader x Fratboy!Jungkook

Side: Fratboys!BTS, Sororitygirls!BLACKPINK

Key words: pov, f2l, university life, greek life

Warnings: heavy drinking, lying, jealousy, swearing

Word count: around 16,000

Masterlist

Day 0

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

“Woah. Hold up.” Jungkook put his hands on my shoulders pushing me away.

As our lips parted I opened my eyes and noticed his horrified expression. I wish I hadn’t. I wish I kept them shut and stayed in that state of bliss for a second longer.

“What?” I looked him in the eyes, scrunching my eyebrows.

“What?” He widened his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. “You just kissed me. That’s what?” I blinked a couple of times trying to understand what he meant.

Yes, I just kissed him. What’s the matter with that?

“So?” I raised my previously knotted eyebrows at him and he just sighed, looking away.

“So?” Shaking his head once again he looked back at me with something of a patronising note in his eyes. “We’re practically siblings, (Y/N).” I felt an invisible hand reach down my throat and grab my heart, threatening to rip it apart.

“What?” I scoffed in shock. “We’re not though.” He chuckled, shaking his head - a motion I was starting to get sick of.

“Still-” He put his hand on my shoulder, shaking it lighty. For the first time in forever his touch made me feel uncomfortable. “-you’re like a sister to me.” The invisible hand tightened its grip on my pounding heart, crushing it irrevocably.

I blinked a couple of times before coughing to clear my throat with hope that it’ll help me mask the fact that I was close to releasing an angry, sorrowful sob.

“You’re right.” I croaked out, giving my head a small shake as I looked away from him - the sight of his face, the one that I loved so dearly right now made me want to vomit. “I’m drunk, I’m sorry. I-”

“It’s fine.” He generously cut off my stutters.

“Yeah.” I sighed, letting my shoulders fall a little lower as Jungkook lifted his hand off me. “I guess I- I-”

“It’s fine.” He interrupted me again as I was trying to come up with some kind of an explanation for myself. “Let’s just forget about it.” The invisible hand turned into a huge paw that slapped me across the face, making both my cheeks turn bright red.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” I said, feeling glad that the sun had set already and the balcony we were standing on was dark enough that he couldn’t see my flushed face.

“God, that gave me chills.” Jungkook chuckled, shaking his shoulders. I looked up at him, getting ready to hit him right across that smug smile. As he noticed my angry expression he raised his hands in an apologetic gesture. “No offense. It’s just so weird even thinking of thinking of you that way.”

“Yeah, shit.” I stepped backwards, leaning on the railing of the tiny, one square meter balcony. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out onto the buildings surrounding us. How many people out there have been as viciously friendzoned as me tonight? “I guess.” I turned my gaze to my feet and then back up at him. “I’m really drunk.” I added with an apologetic smile. The only way to come out of this situation and still save face was to play along with Jungkook and pretend I was shitfaced beyond the point of understanding.

“I can tell.” He chuckled. My stomach dropped and so did my face. It turned out I didn’t have to act that much to seem shaken up and out of it. Does he know me at all? I looked hazily into the apartment, the party was still in full swing. Why shouldn’t it be? It’s not like anyone knew or even cared what just happened out here.

“I bet I won’t remember any of this tomorrow.” I said and he chuckled again, making a step towards the half open door.

“I won’t remind you.” He said with a silly grin that still made my crushed heart flutter.

“Good.” I pretended to exhale a small laugh as he shook his head and stepped back inside.

-

Day 1

Thank god for the weekend. After the heartbreaking incident of being ruthlessly friendzoned by my long time crush I needed time to blow some steam off before seeing him again in class on Monday.

On Saturday morning I woke up with a raging hangover from the night before and the bitter memory of Jungkook’s lips on mine. I let myself sulk in bed for over an hour before I forced myself to get up and take a hot shower. I got out of the bathroom feeling like a freshly cooked sausage wrapped in a white towel. My skin was soft and reddened from the temperature of the water that’s been running down my tired body for the past fifteen minutes. As I massaged my favourite flowery lotion into my puffed up face someone knocked on my dorm room door.

“Jungkook, let me in!” The person yelled out as I walked to the door. The sound of my friend’s name made me stop in my tracks. “Jungkook, get your ass up and let me in! Come on!” The pounding on the door grew louder and more frequent with each second.

I twisted the key in the lock and opened the door, not knowing what to expect. Outside I saw an unknown guy, probably close to Jungkook and I in age. He was a little shorter than him, but just as lean and good looking. His light brown hair was down, covering most of his forehead. He was wearing gym clothes and had a big exercise bag draped over his shoulder.

“Finally, I-” His happy expression turned into a surprised one as soon as he laid his eyes on me. Within a second he managed to look my whole figure up and down and as our eyes locked once again he smiled brightly. It wasn’t the same friendly smile though, this time it was an embarrassed one. “Ah, I’m sorry.” He giggled as a light blush spread across his face. It took me another second to realise the cause for his reaction was that I opened the door dressed in nothing but a towel.

If there was one thing dorm living has taught me it was to stop caring so much about what others thought of me. People constantly roamed the halls of my building in pajamas and yesterday’s makeup so I didn’t see anything wrong with opening the door in a mere towel?

“Is- uh- is Jungkook in?” He stuttered out, running his hand through his hair and obviously trying to look everywhere but at me. He must have assumed I was Jungkook’s girl for the night and honestly I still kind of wished I was… 

“Next door.” I muttered and he finally looked at me, wide eyed.

“W-what?” He stammered. I had to admit the sight was amusing.

“He lives next door. This is 201, he’s at 203.” I explained and a look of realisation came over his face as he read the number on my door.

“Ah, right. Sorry.” He chuckled nervously and ran his hand through his hair one more time.

“It’s fine.” I said smiling lightly. He apologised once again and thanked me for the directions before walking away with the cutest look of embarrassment I have ever seen. As I closed the door and went back to drowning myself in lotion and sorrow I heard him call out Jungkook’s name once again as he knocked on his dorm room’s door.

Jungkook and I had many mutual friends simply from the fact that we lived in the same building, on the same floor, next door to each other. Often when we went out with our own groups we still somehow managed to run into one another somewhere throughout the night. Usually whenever that happened we would stick together until the latest of hours and walk back to our campus building together. Jungkook and I, together… I shook my head to snap myself out of the painful daydream and plopped down onto my unmade bed. Why was I still imagining myself with him when he  was so quick to friendzone me last night?

“Siblings.” I scoffed. “What the hell was he even thinking? What was I thinking?” I wondered in confusion.

We’ve known each other for years, it wasn’t weird of me to develop a crush on the boy after some time. We went to the same primary, middle school, high school and now university. I never even thought of him in a romantic or sexual way until he joined the football team at the beginning of the year. I shook my head again, because my mind was already taking me back to the memory of seeing him play for the first time. I turned on my back and sighed deeply.

“Forget it.” I whispered to myself, knowing well that I won’t be able to do that. At least not yet. Running my hand over the soft linens it seemed as if they were calling my name. I closed my eyes ready to drift back into sleep when I actually heard my name being called. I got up on my knees on the bed and leaned on the windowsill, peaking my head slightly out the open window.

“Her name’s (Y/N).” I heard Jungkook’s groggy voice through his cracked window.

“She’s cute.” I recognised the voice of the sandy haired guy who knocked on my door earlier. “Can you give me her number?” As I heard him ask that question I forgot all about my stupid crush on Jungkook for a moment and smiled, looking out the window onto the campus grounds.

“You know she tried to kiss me last night?” My stomach dropped at the sound of Jungkook’s words. I immediately closed the window and reached for my phone. I opened up Spotify and played my Daily Mix on the highest setting. Right as the soothing sounds of Crush’s new single filled my ears I started dressing up.

All I yearned for was the comfort of my grey sweatpants, but I knew that if I were to walk out this door in them I would feel like shit for the rest of the day and do nothing of substance. I cursed under my breath before reaching for a pair of jean shorts and a red tank top. I threw on my favourite hoop earrings and a pair of Nike sneakers. Looking at myself in the mirror that hung on the inside of my wardrobe’s door I nodded in satisfaction. Putting on nice clothes made me feel a bit more motivated to do something other than sulk over being so harshly rejected last night. I pulled out my phone to text my girlfriends to go out for a late breakfast. Right as the screen lit up an unwanted notification appeared at the top of it.

10:47 [Jungkook] can u turn it down pls? im hungover as fuck rt now

I decided upon leaving the text unopened and proceeded with getting ready. I sat down at my desk and started putting my makeup on. With each stroke of a brush, each pat of a beauty blender I felt myself become more and more agitated. He was texting me while dishing to this random guy about how I threw myself at him last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all. Me kissing him, him pushing me away, me being blind enough to assume he would feel something as well… I wasn’t drunk. I drank that night, but then I was barely tipsy. I knew what I was doing when I leaned in and kissed him. Fortunately for me he didn’t know that.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked out my door shutting it loudly behind myself. Strutting down the corridor of the dorm I decided to reforge all my sadness, embarrassment and anger into something positive. I haven’t told anyone about what happened last night so it was still possible for me to play the ‘too drunk to remember’ front. I texted my girl squad to meet up and put a pair of dark sunglasses on my nose as I walked out of the building into the blinding sunlight.

My best friend Lisa was the first one to arrive at the restaurant I chose for our late breakfast. As she walked my way I knew she knew something was up with me.

“What’s wrong?” She asked sitting down next to me. “And don’t even try to say ‘nothing’.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Lisa was the only one I told about my crush on Jungkook in the first place so why not tell her about my failed attempt to make it work with him… Right?

“I kissed Jungkook last night.” I said bluntly and she lapped my arm, gasping.

“No.” She whisper-yelled, leaning towards me. “How was it?” I couldn’t help, but smile a little at her excitement.

“He pushed me away and said we’re practically like siblings.” I whined, remembering his hurtful words. Lisa gasped once again, but this time instead of hitting my arm she rubbed it comfortingly.

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry.” I rested my head on her shoulder and breathed out heavily. Lisa wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug. “It’ll be alright. I know tons of guys that would kill to get kissed by you.”

“I wanted him though.” I whined sitting up straight.

“I know.” She grabbed my hands in hers and smiled brightly. “But hey, there might be something good coming out of this whole situation.” I leaned my head to the side, eyes full of doubt.

“Like?”

“Well, you never moved into the Alpha Psi house even though you’re a sister, because you wanted to be close to your stupid crush. Right?” I looked away, feeling a blush of embarrassment creep onto my cheeks. “And now that he so viciously friendzoned you what’s left keeping you in that disgusting dorm?” I looked back at her with understanding.

“You’re right.” I nodded slowly. “This is actually perfect.” Lisa’s smile grew wider along with the levels of my excitement. “Fuck him, fuck the dorms. I’m moving to Alpha Psi.”

“This is perfect!” Lisa exclaimed, crushing my palms in hers.

“What is?” Both our heads snapped up to see Jennie and Rose, walking up to our table.

“You better sit down before I tell you.” Lisa warned the two girls and they followed her order with intrigued looks on their faces. “(Y/N)’s finally moving in!”

-

Day 3

I looked around the lecture hall in search of an empty seat. As I scanned the room I noticed a hand waving at me to come over. Focusing my gaze on the person I recognised Jungkook. Walking towards him I ordered myself to stay calm and pretend nothing happened.

“Hey.” I breathed out sitting down beside him.

“Hey, where have you been?” He asked, turning in his seat slightly. “I haven’t seen you all weekend.” The fact that he noticed my absence at the dorms made me feel warm inside, but I quickly waved the feeling off remembering how shit I felt on Friday, all thanks to his smug face.

“Oh, I was at the Alpha Psi house.” I said casually, pretending I didn’t just notice him raising his eyebrows at me suggestively at the mention of my sorority.

“How are your sisters by the way?” He asked, scratching his chin with a dreamy smile on his face.

“Great.” I set my bag on the ground in front of me with a loud thud. “I finally decided to move in with them.”

“Hm, a perfect reason for me to come visit.” He chuckled and I rolled my eyes. How did I manage to develop a crush on this guy? He clearly has only one thing on his mind… 

“No luck, Jungkook.” I shot him down. “No boys allowed in the house.” He groaned tiredly and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the professor's commanding voice asking everyone to take their seats.

The old man announced that starting today and until the end of the spring-summer semester in four weeks we will be working on a  project regarding whatever he was teaching. Since I always sat with Jungkook in his classes I ended up never really listening to what he was saying which led me to being totally clueless when he started reading out the topics of individual projects he’ll assign to us.

“Wanna do this together?” Jungkook nudged my side right as the professor said we’ll be working in pairs.

I looked at him with my mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say. Of course I want to do this together! But at the same time the proximity of our bodies was making me sick… 

“I guess-” My answer was cut short as the professor started reading out individual students' names assigning them to specific topics.

“Shit.” Jungkook groaned leaning back in his seat and I smiled lightly, knowing that for now I was saved.

“(Y/Full/N) and Park Jimin.” 

“Ah, really?” Jungkook scoffed. I looked at him, crossing his arms in his seat with an annoyed expression.

“What?” I asked writing down in my phone the name of the boy I had no idea was in this class with me.

“That’s my friend.” He explained and turned towards me with a grin growing across his face. “Switch with me.” I rested my back in my chair weighing the options in my head.

“Who do you have?”

“I don’t know yet.” He shrugged.

“Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung." The professor read out.

“Forget about it.” He shot me down before I could say a word. Taehyung was one of the best students in the class and working with him would definitely earn Jungkook a good grade for the end of the semester.

-

Day 5

Since Jimin was absent during the lecture the professor assigned the project’s topics I asked Jungkook for his number so I could message him about it. I finally got around to doing it on Wednesday afternoon. I was sitting at a cafe on campus looking through the menu when he texted me back with a proposition to meet up in person. For some reason I felt reluctant towards meeting up with one of Jungkook’s friends. What if he told them about my little kissing escapade? I sighed typing back an ‘okay’ and asking him if he could see me right now, knowing the project won’t just do itself.

17:42 [(Y/N)] im at the cafe in building 23

17:43 [Park Jimin] omw

By the time six rolled up the cafe practically emptied. I sat at a table with two small benches on its sides stirring my iced smoothie with the paper straw. I glided my finger across the laminated menu wondering whether to order now or keep waiting for Jimin, fortunately I didn’t have to wonder for much longer.

“Hey.” My head snapped up as a light brown haired guy sat down across from me. He smiled sweetly, going over my figure shamelessly before looking me right in the eyes. “It’s you.”

“Hey.” I said returning his smile without hesitation. His face looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on why.

“I liked your other outfit better.” He said gesturing to my white flax shirt that I half-tucked to my jean shorts. I raised my eyebrows unsure of what he meant. He grinned, running his hand through his hair slightly embarrassed. “I- uh- the- the towel.”

“Oh, you.” I exclaimed in realisation. “Hi.” He nodded, still smiling. As he moved his head his multiple earrings shined in the cafe’s dim lighting.

“Jimin.” He reached his hand across the table and I took it shaking it lightly.

“(Y/N).” I said holding up a smile despite coming to one more, this time shocking, realisation. This boy was the one Jungkook told about the stupid ‘drunken’ kiss and god knows what else.

“I know.” Jimin released my hand from his with the same sincere smile that seemed more like a devilish grin in my now close to paranoid state. I raised my eyebrows once again, though I already had an idea regarding where he heard about me. Jimin leaned back in his seat, no longer embarrassed. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“Excuse me?” I scrunched my eyebrows somehow feeling that my reputation wasn’t anywhere close to squeaky. “What do you mean by that?” Jimin smirked, scratching his chin.

“You’re a known party girl and…” He made a pause to look away for a second and poke the inside of his cheek with his tongue. When we finally locked eyes again he was grinning cheekily. “Boys talk.”

“Yeah.” I scoffed leaning back on my bench and knotting my arms across my chest. “That I know they do.”

“Mhm.” Jimin hummed and took one of the laminated menus from the table. He scanned the page over casually before speaking up again. “You’re the topic of the day at least once a week.” He said, still reading the menu.

“Amongst?” I squinted at him slightly, wondering about the crowd on which’s lips I am on so often. He glanced up at me quickly before tossing the menu back on the table with that same satisfied smirk plastered across his handsome face.

“My football team for starters.” He put his hands between his legs leaning forward, making his chest touch the edge of the table.

“You play football?” His face expression changed from something along the lines of ‘i know something you don’t know’ to something more… Cocky.

“Yeah.” He leaned back again, resting his back on the wooden bench, his chin elevated slightly. ”With Jungkook.” I nodded slowly, scanning his face with my piercing gaze.

“Huh, I guess I never noticed you.” He appeared to have visibly shrunk for a moment at the sound of my words. Quickly he recollected himself, going back to the confident smile that - I have to admit - fit him perfectly.

“You will from now on then.” He said, cocking his eyebrow at me and I couldn’t stop myself from exhaling a weak chuckle.

“Hopefully for all the right reasons.” I said relaxing my shoulders. There was no reason - other than Jimin possibly knowing everything about my ‘drunken’ mistake from the other night - for me to feel uncomfortable or inferior to him. I decided to keep my front up and pretend, just as much in front of myself as in front of him, that I don’t remember anything that happened last Friday night. “Let’s get started on this hell of a project.”

“Before we do-” He cut me off, putting his arm on the back of the bench he was sitting on. “-I have a question.” I raised my eyebrows at him, taking a long sip from my smoothie. “You’re an Alpha Psi, right?” I smiled leaning back in my seat.

“Mhm.” I simply hummed in answer to his question. Party girl, Jungkook’s friend, sorority sister. What else did he know me as?

“It’s really a miracle we haven’t met before.” He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m in Theta Sigma Phi. Rush Chair.” I widened my eyes at him as he described his position.

“It is a miracle.” My interest in his person grew as I tried to go over all the boys I knew from his fraternity in my head. “I thought I knew all the exec boys from your frat.”

“Must have slipped your mind.” He smiled at me from across the table.

“Must have.” I said, looking into his dark brown eyes. “I just rushed this year so I’m still a baby.” I chuckled lightly.

“Not that much of a baby, Miss Treasurer.” He smiled at me showing his perfect white teeth. He either did his homework before coming to meet me or I was that loud of a bitch that everyone knew who I was and what I did way before I even met them. Either way the fact he knew this much about me when I knew nothing about him made me feel both a little unsettled and excitedly curious. “Rumor has it you’re after the Vice President chair.” My eyes involuntarily turned into small slits as I heard the words ‘vice president’. He noticed the change in my expression and laughed loudly. “They say you’re ambitious.”

“Who says?” I didn’t even try to sound casual as I asked him, reaching for my drink. His smile turned into a cocky grin as he stretched in his seat.

“Jungkook.” I rolled my eyes at the name.

“Of course.” I scoffed. “That boy can’t keep his mouth shut. Say one thing once…” I took a big sip of my icy beverage, trying to calm my nerves.

“Also Jisoo says she wants you as her Vice Prez when she takes over next year.” I choked on the ice as he said the name of the current Vice President of my sorority. “You okay?” Jimin laughed at my reaction.

“When did you talk to Jisoo?” I asked when I finally caught my breath again.

“Uh, sometime over the weekend.” He scratched his head in wonder. “Sunny’s graduating this year and-”

“I know how it works.” I interrupted him angered that he knew so much about my sorority.

“I never said you didn’t.” He raised his hands in an apologetic motion.

“Let’s get on with this project.” I sighed putting my empty glass down and Jimin stood up. I raised my eyebrows looking up at him. “Where are you going?”

“What, you wanted to work here?” He asked, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. I nodded and he shook his head smiling again. “No way, we’re going to your house.”

“Uh, no way.” I looked at him with a satisfied grin, still sitting down. “Alpha Psi does-”

“Doesn’t allow boys inside the house.” He finished my sentence in a joking tone. “I know. I hoped I could trick you.” He chuckled innocently. “Come on, we’ll do this at my house.”

-

Day 6

Jimin’s P.O.V.

“Should we take a break?” I asked, laying my upper body over the table in my fraternity’s chapter room.

(Y/N) looked over at me from across the table, her face resting in the palms of her hands. The way her body was positioned made her top scrunch up slightly over her chest showing off a bit more cleavage she might have wanted it to. I couldn’t help but imagine her in that skimpy towel I saw her in the first time we met.

“Yes.” She finally breathed out, letting her arms fall on the counter. She quickly straightened up and stretched her hands over her head, bringin the tops material back in its place. “I should go home.”

Looking at the clock I realised it was already ten minutes after midnight. We met to work on our sociology project around six in the afternoon, but spent more than half of the time bonding over our experiences being part of the greek life only starting to gather information and brainstorm about our designated topic about an hour ago.

“I’ll walk you.” I offered standing up from the table as she packed up her belongings.

“I live down the street. There’s no need.” I stretched my arms, nodding slowly.

“If you say so.” I walked her to the door and frowned as the night’s cold wind came through it when I held it open for her. “Wait a second.” I said shutting the door closed.

“What?” She asked behind my back as I was already jumping up the stairs to get to my bedroom.

I rummaged through my closet searching for a clean sweatshirt, preferably one with my name on the back of it. 

“You’re in deep, Jimin.” I chuckled at my own possessiveness. “Coming!” I yelled as I finally found the piece of clothing I was looking for. Skipping down the stairs I pulled a grey hoodie over my head and as I approached (Y/N), waiting for me by the door, I handed her a navy zip-up. “Here. It’s cold.” She took the sweatshirt and zipped it all the way up without a word. “I’ll walk you.”

“Jimin, I literally-” I cut her off breathing out a hiss.

“I’m walking you.” I repeated myself and she just smiled pushing the heavy oak door open. I held the door for her, staying behind to take a look at my masterpiece - ‘Park’ written in golden lettering over her shoulders.

-

Day 8

Jungkook’s P.O.V.

I was stretching by the coach’s bench before the big game when I noticed her, sitting in the bleachers, fourth or fifth row. She was smiling, talking to a brown haired girl to her right, looking down at her phone.

“(Y/N)!” I called out straightening up. Her head instantly shot up, looking around. I waved and called her name again. Finally her friend pointed her towards me and our eyes met. I gestured for her to come down and rested my elbows on the railing separating the field from the bleachers, waiting as she skipped down the steps with a smile on her face. “What are you doing here?” I asked, leaving out unnecessary greetings and pleasantries.

“Cheering for my university’s team.” She answered resting her palms on each side of my arms. I looked down with a smirk before straightening up and crossing my arms over my chest.

“You mean for me?” I asked and she raised her eyebrow at my teasing comment.

“You wish.” She spat back with a smile. I already opened my mouth to let her know I have to go join my team as the game was about to start when something unexpected happened.

My teammate Jimin came out from the door under the bleachers, he must have just left the locker room. I nodded his way as a sign I’ll be joining him on the field in a minute and he nodded back before quickly averting his eyes from me to (Y/N).  Now, I’m no expert, but his eyes changed when he looked at her. It felt borderline inappropriate. My smile faded as he made his way towards the two of us, eying (Y/N) from head to toe, instead of walking towards the main entrance to the football field. He pushed on the small gate in the railing opening it to walk onto the green grass.

“Hey, (Y/N).” He said walking past her with a cocky smile I knew so well from the many times we went out to bars together to pick up girls.

“Hey.” She smiled back and I swear I never saw her look at anyone like that. I followed Jimin with my gaze as he started jogging to the rest of the team. “Good luck.” My head snapped back to (Y/N) as she smiled at me before walking away to join her friend in the bleachers. With a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach I jogged towards my team. 

“What was that?” I asked standing next to Jimin. He was warming up with some high kicks, but switched to stretching his shoulders when I came over.

“What?” He asked, confusion on his face. I shook my head and also started stretching.

“Why are you talking to (Y/N)?” I asked him bluntly.

“We’re…” He stopped to think of the right word, but when he finally spoke again I wished he hadn’t. “Friendly.” He smiled brightly showing his teeth.

“Friendly?” I scoffed and stopped stretching to rest my hands on my hips. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you mean?” Jimin asked, scrunching his eyebrows as he reached both his hands behind his back to stretch his chest. “We’re doing a project for sociology together.”

“She’s off limits.” I said through gritted teeth, not even looking at him, not caring that the reason behind their ‘friendliness’ might be as simple as them doing a project together.

“What?” He gasped with a chuckle that made my blood come close to boiling. “Since when?”

“Since always.” I finally looked at him again. He had his hands on his hips, mirroring my movements so I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to become visibly bigger. For some reason I wanted to look intimidating right now.

“Boys, positions!” Our coach called out cutting our altercation short.

I jogged towards my spot on the field. As I leaned forward resting my hands on my knees I looked to my left at the bleachers. From this distance I was unable to find (Y/N) in the crowd. I glanced to my right and saw Jimin staring forward, this time nothing but will to win in his eyes.

-

“(Y/N)’s off limits.” I breathed out jogging next to Jimin towards the opposing team's side of the field. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, her and their meaningful stares. It felt wrong. It felt disgusting. Jimin and her… Over my dead body.

“What?” He panted, glancing at me confused. “You’re still talking about this?”

“She’s practically my sister.” I said looking down at him. Jimin chuckled, his eyes focused on the black and white ball in the distance.

“She’s not though.” He said in a suggestive tone.

“Yeah, well I don’t want you being ‘friendly’ with her anymore.” I hissed, running a little faster to increase the distance between us.

“Oh, fuck off.” I heard him call from behind me. “I’ll be ‘friendly’ as much as I want.” He said catching up to me. “And for the record.” He glanced at me over his shoulder as he ran in front of me now. “I’m not the only one acting ‘friendly’.” He chuckled with a grin and I almost tripped over my own feet.

”What did you just say?” I asked and he chuckled again, turning to face me and jogging backwards for a moment.

“You heard me.” He said, cocking his eyebrow. As he turned forward again I picked up my pace and ran by him hitting him with my shoulder hard enough to make him stumble and almost fall to the ground.

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

“I thought you said they were good.” Lisa whined in the seat next to me. I sighed looking at the scoreboard, our university’s team was far behind its rivals and the second half of the game has already started.

“That’s what Jungkook always told me.” I looked around the field looking for my friend and noticed him jogging along the white ‘out’ line. “Jimin said they were in top shape just yesterday.” I added noticing the guy next to him was Jimin himself. “I don’t understand why they’re playing so shit all of a sudden.” I whined, keeping my eyes peeled to the two of them. 

Jungkook picked up his pace leaving Jimin behind, but he quickly joined him by his side. After a couple of seconds he went in front of him, even from this far I could make out his smile. He turned to Jungkook jogging backwards for a moment before facing the right direction again. Then the other one matched his speed and ran over to him hitting him with his shoulder so hard he almost fell to the ground. I gasped.

“What’s going on there?” Lisa asked, straightening up in her seat.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good.” I said, stretching my neck as far as I could to see more of what was going on on the field.

“Oh, shit.” Lisa hissed as Jimin ran over to Jungkook again. The taller one turned around and pushed him away harshly. “They’re gonna fight.” She said with both excitement and anxiety lining her words.

Fortunately the fight ended right where it started. Jungkook pushed Jimin once again earning himself a yellow card before the coach ran over and separated the two. Jimin kept his cool and walked off to the rest of his teammates shaking his head. 

“This is just sad.” I sighed after the next fifteen minutes passed. Looking at my phone I realised there’s still about twenty minutes until the end of the game, but I didn’t really want to stay any longer.

“Should we go?” Lisa looked at me with begging eyes.

“I kind of want to, but I don’t want to be a dick to Jimin or Jungkook.” I answered her truthfully.

“It’s not like you told them you’re here to support any of them or they invited you or something.” I looked at her with a weak smile as she spoke. She was right. It’s not likeI was here for any of them… Right?

“Alright.” I sighed and grabbed my bag from the floor. “They won’t win anyway. Let’s go.” We stood up and squeezed through the crowded bleachers.

-

Day 10

Walking to my morning Philosophy class I felt more than happy that I decided to move to the Alpha Psi house. It was located in the Fraternity-Sorority Row that was way closer than my dorm to most of the buildings I had my classes in this semester. Walking by the Theta Sigma Phi house - Jimin’s house - I noticed a familiar car.

“Jungkook?” I asked stopping by the vehicle. The buy peeked his head from behind the car, holding a carton box in his arms. “What are you doing here?” He shut the trunk loudly leaving my question unanswered.” What’s going on?” I asked again, not letting him go without getting an answer.

“I’m moving.” He said simply, locking his car.

“Here?” I pointed my head towards the frat house and he just hummed in agreement. “I didn’t know you were rushing.” I said, beginning to feel uncomfortable in his presence.

“We keep our rush procedures a secret, (Y/N).” My head snapped from Jungkook’s intimidating figure back towards the house.

“Jimin.” I said greeting him with a smile as he approached the two of us. “Congratulations. You got a real good brother on your hands.” I tried to sound as sweet and sincere as I could, unwittingly referring back to the time Jungkook said we were like siblings. “How fun. We’ll be neighbours again.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook answered in a dead tone.

“You need any help?” I asked after a moment, not sure whether I wanted him to agree.

“No.” He shut me down quickly.

“You got my hoodie?” Jimin asked, breaking the awkward silence that settled between Jungkook and I.

“Oh, no.” I whined cutely. “I left it home. I can bring it by after classes if you need it.”

“No need.” He waved me off and I started wondering why he even brought the topic up in the first place. “It looks better on you anyway.” I smiled at his compliment before looking down at my phone and realising the time.

“I have to run.” I sighed, putting my hands in the pockets of my jean shorts. “But if you need anything you know where to find me.” I smiled at him and then averted my eyes at Jungkook who stood in front of me with  the most serious expression. “Both of you.”

Jimin’s P.O.V.

I shamelessly checked (Y/N)’s ass out as she walked away, her jean shorts hugging her hips just perfectly.

“Keep it in your pants.” Jungkook scoffed as he turned to walk towards the house.

“Really?” I asked, still standing on the sidewalk. “Really?” I repeated myself, but he kept walking. “I can’t believe you’re still mad about me hanging out with her.” I called out after him. “She’s not your sister, Jungkook.” He walked inside, shutting the door behind himself loudly.

I sighed unsure of what I should do. Jungkook was my friend and now my frat brother as well, but there were no rules in the guy’s code of honour when it came to  girls your friend felt were like his sister, but really weren’t. There were rules about sisters and other relatives, exes, crushes, but nothing about, well, (Y/N). I already told Jungkook that I had my eye out for her when we first met in their dorm building and he didn’t seem to have any objections then.

“For fuck’s sake.” I sighed as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

9:59 [Jimin] project tonight?

10:03 [(Y/N)] can’t. chapter meeting.

10:03 [(Y/N)] tomorrow?

10:04 [Jimin] k. ur house

10:06 [(Y/N)] don’t even start

10:06 [(Y/N)] ill b at urs round 5

10:08 [Jimin] i have football til 7

I debated for a moment before sending the next message.

10:10 [Jimin] pick me up from practice? ;)

10:11 [(Y/N)] c u there :*

I exhaled loudly as I read (Y/N)’s answer, making a mental note to myself to work extra hard in practice tomorrow in case she decided to show up earlier.

-

Day 11

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

I scrolled through my Instagram feed mindlessly as I walked towards the football field. It was already five minutes past seven when I finally made it to my destination. Looking around the vast space I didn’t see any players. I pulled my phone out to text Jimin.

19:05 [(Y/N)] im here

“Hey.” Looking up from my phone I saw Jungkook walking my way with his exercise bag over his shoulder.

“Shit.” I hissed under my breath, totally forgetting Jimin and he were on the same football team. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him, well… Maybe a little. He was so weird the last time I saw him and my heart was still fragile from him rejecting my kiss.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, stopping just a step away from me. “Came to see me?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes at his teasing.

Before I could open my mouth to shoot him some kind of a comeback I heard my name being called from behind his back. He stiffened looking over his shoulder, noticing Jimin walking our way with a bright smile.

“Hey.” I greeted him as he stopped next to Jungkook, the height difference more visible than ever before.

“Hope you didn’t wait long.” He said in a chipper tone, adjusting the hold on his bag.

“I just got here.” I said, reciprocating the smile.

“Let’s go.” Jimin ordered and we both started walking, leaving Jungkook a step behind us. He quickly matched our pace, walking on my right hand side, Jimin on my left.

“Oh, I didn’t notice your text.” Jimin said in an apologetic tone as he scrolled through his notifications. Jungkook raised his eyebrow at me questioningly, but I decided to ignore him. “Honestly, I was hoping you’d come a little early.”

“Why?” Jungkook and I asked in unison, making Jimin chuckle.

“‘Cause.” He averted his gaze to his feet before glancing back at me. “I wanted you to see me play.”

“I just saw you last week. You were pretty bad.” I shot back, giggling lightly.

“Touche.” He scoffed, jokingly shoving my shoulder with his. “We’re playing again at the end of the month.” He stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. “I’ll make sure to play extra well if you decide to show up.” 

“I’ll think about it.” I teased him, looking away.

“I have something to do at the dorms.” Jungkook muttered before taking a sharp turn right and walking away without any further explanations.

“Uh- Bye.” I called out looking at his back. “What’s with him?” I asked Jimin as we kept walking towards the Fraternity-Sorority Row.

“You tell me.” He shrugged. “We’re not really on talking terms right now.”

“What happened?” I asked, truthfully concerned.

“I don’t know.” He sighed, clearly not wanting to elaborate much on the topic and I didn’t dig further.

Jimin’s P.O.V.

I was ready for us to sit down and relax while pretending we’re doing research, but when (Y/N) pulled out her laptop and started spewing questions at me I knew that was not going to be the case. We ended up almost finishing our Sociology project that night, only thing left was to send out our survey and go through the results in a couple of days.

“Can’t we just forge it?” I asked, rubbing my tired eyes.

“What?” She frowned, scrolling through something on her computer. She was sitting on the couch opposite to me, her hair tied in a messy ponytail at the top of her head. She looked so pretty.

“The results.” I explained, keeping my eyes glued to her chest rising up and falling down rhythmically.

“But then we’ll be done and I won’t have a reason to hang out with you anymore.” She whined sweetly and I chuckled, taken aback by her cheeky answer. I leaned my back against the comfortable couch now looking at her face, her eyes still focused on the screen instead of me. I couldn’t help, but feel jealous.

“Come over whenever.” I said in a low voice. “No reason needed.” 

“I just might.” She smiled, typing something on the keyboard. “Alright.” She slapped her laptop closed. “I’m going home.”

“Already?” I straightened up in my seat.

“It’s close to ten.” She stated, packing up her things.

“Is it?” I asked more myself than her, not realising how fast the time went by. I followed her to the door and held it open for her. “I’ll see you soon, huh?” She hummed in agreement, but stopped mid step as she was walking through the doorway.

“Are you going to the party at Tri Kappa on Friday?” “I am if you are.” I thought to myself and nodded at her in answer. 

“And you?” I asked, trying my hardest to play it cool.

“‘Course.” She said sweetly as she smiled over her shoulder, walking away. “See you, Jimin.”

“See you.” I said, closing the door behind her.

-

Day 14

Stumbling through the crowded room I felt like throwing up. I definitely drank too much tonight. I walked towards the open door and finally stepped outside onto the open air. The loud music made my ears ring so I shook my head to get rid of the sound. Bad idea. I lost my balance and leaned on the wall beside me. When I finally looked up and scanned my surroundings all I saw was just more drunk people. People on the back porch, people in the pool, people on the lawn. Dancing, drinking, talking.

I inhaled deeply as a flowery smell filled my nostrils. Blinking excessively to make my eyes focus better I looked around for the source of the sweet scent. It didn’t take long since I knew exactly what, or rather who, I was looking for.

“(Y/N)!” I called out, looking at her bare back as she just passed by me with one of her girlfriends draped on her arm. “Hey, girl.” I said grinning as she looked over her shoulder.

When our eyes locked she reciprocated the smile, quickly whispering something to her friend before she walked off. I felt my brain fighting against the alcohol and telling me to act sober as she turned to face me and stepped closer to hug me ‘hello’.

“Hi.” She called elongating the word so it lasted throughout the entirety of your hug.

She lifted her hand off my shoulder slowly, making sure to run it down my bicep briefly. When we were no longer touching I felt intoxicated in a totally different way than I did a moment earlier. Her skin… It was just too much for me to handle in the drunken state I was in.

“Come here often?” She laughed at my  stupid pick-up line and my smile grew wider as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Only when you’re around.” She answered cheekily.

“Smooth.” I nodded at her quick response and had to stop myself from turning into a giggly, blushing mess when she shoved my arm jokingly. “You want something to drink?” She barely started lifting her hand in which I noticed she held a half empty cup of something when I heard my name being called.

“Jimin!” I looked over (Y/N)’s shoulder onto the crowded garden and saw my friend and frat Vice Prez Namjoon, drunk out of his mind, gesturing for me to come over. “Beer pong!” He yelled towards me. We had this unwritten rule among our frat brothers that whenever one of us called another one to play a drinking game, especially Beer Pong, the other one just had to join. He just had to. “Now!” I sighed, letting my shoulders sink as I wanted to stay and talk to (Y/N) just a little bit longer.

“I have to go.” I whined sadly. “I wish I didn’t though.” I said in a low voice, gliding my hand over (Y/N)’s waist as I walked by her. She grabbed my forearm with her soft palm and my head snapped back to her ignoring Namjoon’s voice in the background.

“I wanna play too.” She said smiling sweetly. I muttered a soft ‘okay’ and grabbed her hand to guide her through the mass of sweaty people.

“Boys vs. girls.” I stated as we got to the ping-pong table. “Fuck off.” I growled at the two strangers standing on the side of the table opposite Namjoon's.

“Who do we have here?” He asked walking up to (Y/N) and I.

“Namjoon, meet (Y/N).” I introduced her, bringing my arm around her shoulders. “Next year’s Alpha Psi’s Vice Prez.” 

“Don’t jinx it.” She nudged my side teasingly.

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N).” Namjoon smiled. “You got someone to be on your team?”

“She does.” Someone said and before I knew it (Y/N) slipped from under my arm and into her friends hug. “Lisa.” The girl introduced herself briefly with a cocky smile.

“Alright, let’s get it.” I said, rubbing my hands together.

“House rules: If you don’t drink you do a dare.” Namjoon said, smirking as we took our positions on opposite ends of the table.

“Of what kind?” Lisa asked, stretching her arms in front of her.

“Winner’s choice.” He answered her, picking up the white plastic ball.

-

Day 15

(Y/N) and Lisa were surprisingly good at the game. They were knocking out our cups one by one and spitting dares left and right. When we managed to shoot our ball into one of their cups they drank it without hesitation, not even wanting to hear our stupid dares.

“Yeah!” I exclaimed as my shot made it into one of their many plastic cups.

“Dare! Dare! Dare!” Namjoon called out repeatedly and I just raised my eyebrows at (Y/N) standing with her arms across her chest on the other end of the table.

“Fine.” Lisa chuckled and Namjoon cheered drunkenly.

“I dare you to take a shot of (Y/N)’s stomach.” He blurted out and she rolled her eyes at him with a laugh.

“Get on here.” She asked her pointing to the table.

I gulped loudly as (Y/N) layed down on the wobbly table, lifting up her shirt to reveal her stomach. Lisa placed a half full shot glass over her belly button as (Y/N) put a quarter of a lime between her lips. Lisa leaned over her friend’s stomach grabbing the glass with her lips and jerked her head backwards swallowing the contents of it in one, swift go. Later she grabbed the glass with her hand and put her other palm on the back of (Y/N)’s head as she lifted herself up on her elbows, still lying on the table. As their faces inched closer Lisa bit on the lime (Y/N) was holding between her teeth as a chaser.

“That was hot.” I muttered and Namjoon hit my back with his open palm laughing.

“Our turn.” (Y/N) exclaimed, tucking her shirt back into the front of her short skirt.

“Uh, house rules.” Namjoon cut her off with an evil smile. “Winner’s get a second turn after you take the dare.” 

“This isn’t even your house.” She protested, chuckling.

“Yeah, well I started the game so… My rules.” He explained himself poorly and shot his shot. “Fuck yeah!” He yelled out, making it into one of the girls’ cups once again.

“Dare.” (Y/N) said without hesitation.

-

(Y/N) stumbled down the front steps of the Tri Cappa house, chuckling to herself. 

“Sorry.” She mumbled as she bumped into me. I smiled looking up at her as I was sitting on the wooden steps, trying to collect myself before walking home.

“L- leaving already?” I asked with hiccups interrupting my words. She nodded, pulling her phone out of her skirt’s pocket.

“Shit, it’s three already.” She inhaled sharply, not realising the time.

“I’ll walk you.” I said, slowly pushing myself up from the ground. She didn’t protest though her house was less than a minute away.

“You’re drunk.” She chuckled and I gave her a serious glare.

“You’re drunk.” I shot back and she chuckled again, looking at my stupid expression.

“Walk with me.” She asked, grabbing my arm and pulling me to her side.

Wishing I could be glued to her like this forever I walked with her through the front lawn of the frat house and right into her sorority’s front garden. We climbed up the front two steps onto the elevated porch and she let go of me, grabbing in the golden door handle.

“Oh.” She looked at me over her shoulder and I felt myself become sober all of a sudden. “I still have your sweatshirt.”

Before I could think twice my hands were already on the sides of (Y/N)’s neck, pulling her face towards mine, making our lips crash in a sloppy excuse of a kiss. I tried to move my mouth in sync with her’s, but couldn’t, resulting in me practically kissing her chin as she chuckled.

“What?” I breathed out, also starting to laugh as she rested her hands on my hips.

“You’re drunk.” She snickered against my lips.

“You’re drunk.” I spat back, still holding her close to me.

“Yeah, but that was so bad.” (Y/N) giggled, grabbing on the bottom hem of my shirt.

“Okay, fuck you.” I laughed stepping away.

“No, wait.” She smiled, pulling on my shirt. “Try again.” She pleaded, bringing her face close enough to mine that our lips almost touched as she spoke.

“Give me a second.” I said, cupping her face in my hands. “Close your eyes.” I asked her as she stared at me through her half lifted lids. She followed my order, still smiling. I leaned my head forward kissing her lightly.

As our lips touched again she reciprocated the kiss in a way I just imagined she would. Our tongues moved in unison, her hands travelled up my sides and to my chest. After a blissful moment of feeling her mouth on mine I could feel her smile into the kiss.

“Stop.” I breathed out against her lips before she started giggling again.

“I’m sorry.” She said, backing away slightly. “Just- just keep-” I cut her off connecting our mouths again.

-

I pulled the covers over my head as the bright sunlight made its way into my bedroom. I licked my chapped lips, still feeling the bitter taste of alcohol in my throat. I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids when it hit me.

I made out with (Y/N) last night.

Instantly I sat up in my bed, but quickly laid back down again as my stomach rose up in my chest. I reached for my phone,but couldn’t find it on my night stand.

I made out with (Y/N) yesterday.

I fell out of bed and onto the cold wooden floor with a loud thud, wrapped in bed sheets. I frantically looked through my jeans pockets and finally found my phone.

I kissed (Y/N).

As I tried to unlock the device its screen stayed black for a moment before I saw an image of an empty battery pop up. I quickly crawled to the desk in the corner of the room and connected my phone to power.

“What are you doing?” My head snapped to Namjoon. He was laying in his bed on the other side of the room, elevating himself on his elbows, staring at me with amusement.

“I made out with (Y/N) last night.” I blurted out without thinking.

“Congrats.” He said simply, prior to falling onto the mattress and drifting back to sleep.

-

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

My eyes fluttered open slowly at the sound of my alarm clock. I felt an overwhelming pain forming in my head as the buzzing went on for a good minute. When I finally turned the thing off I was already too awake to fall back asleep. I slowly sat myself up in my bed, wrapping the covers around my cold shoulders.  Entangled in the blankets I reached for my phone to scroll through social media. My phone chimed in my hand making me frown at the abrupt sound. I squinted reading the text on the screen.

11:32 [Jimin] u up?

“Huh?” I groaned. “Lisa?” I called out my best friend's name, making her turn in her bed. “Lisa, check this out.” I slowly walked from my bed to hers, plopping down lazily next to her. “Look.” I put the phone up to her face. She scanned the screen with half open lids and looked up at me with confusion.

“What do you want from me?” She asked and I sighed, remembering I haven;t yet told her what happened between Jimin and I last night.

“Jimin walked me home last night and we made out on the porch.” I spoke as I rubbed my tired eyes. “And it wasn’t like- he wasn’t like- well, it was more-” I sighed, unable to voice my feelings. “It was kind of romantic.”

“Are you sure?” She asked with her eyes closed. “Would he test ‘u up?’ if it was really romantic?” Was she right? I didn’t want her to be.

“What should I do?” I asked her. “I am ‘up’.” Lisa chuckled at my annoyed tone.

“I don’t know.” She whined, turning away. “Text him back, or don’t.”

I looked at the screen. There were no dots in the corner that would signal Jimin was about to write another message.

11:42 [(Y/N)] im up

Not more than ten seconds passed before he texted me back, the contents of the message made my stomach turn.

11:42 [Jimin] i need to talk to u

11:42 [Jimin] can u come over?

“Oh, no.” I scoffed. I was not going to walk all the way down the street just to get rejected again. The PTSD after Jungkook was still all too fresh.

11:45 [(Y/N)] cant u?

11:45 [Jimin] omw

I squealed, hiding my face in my hands.

“He’s coming over.” I muttered, feeling Lisa turn under the blankets beside me. 

“What?” She asked, sounding awake all of a sudden.

“He’s coming here.” I repeated, standing up quickly. “I need to get myself together.”

“Brush your teeth!” Lisa called behind me as I ran out of the room.

-

11:59 [Jimin] come on down

I ran my hand through my hair and exhaled loudly.

“Just stay calm, dude.” I said to myself. “Stay calm.” I turned away from the front door, glancing over the garden, the sorority houses always had them look better than the frats.

My head snapped back to the door as I heard the lock turn. (Y/N) stepped outside wearing the shortest gym shorts and a t-shirt with her sorority’s name on it. I bit my lip, running my eyes from her feet to her face as she leaned on the red brick wall of the house.

“Hi.” She said sweetly and I smiled lightly hearing her voice.

“Hey.” I answered, feeling my shoulders tense up a little. “Can I come-”

“Sorry, Jimin.” She cut me off almost immediately, an apologetic look on her face. “No boys-”

“No boys allowed.” I finished her sentence smirking. “I know. Can’t blame me for trying.” I joked, but at this point she wasn’t looking at me anymore.

Her eyes were focused on something behind me. I turned to look over my shoulder when another guy passed by me.

“Hey, (Y/N).” He said opening the door.

“Hi, Hoseok.” She answered.

“Wha-” I looked between them both in utter shock.

“No boys, dude.” He said shooting me a superior stare. “Men can come in though.”

“Excuse me?” I scoffed as he chuckled, shutting the door behind himself.

“Don’t mind him.” (Y/N) sighed, putting her hand on the golden handle. “There’s an exception for boyfriends.”

“Well then we should talk inside.” I stepped closer, putting my hand on hers gripping the door handle.

“What?” She asked, her smile growing wider.

“You know what.” I leaned towards her so that our chest touched and she exhaled a small chuckle. “Stop laughing at me.” I tried to sound serious, but her attitude was infectious and I was already smiling.

“I can’t.” She snickered, covering her mouth with her free hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Goddamnit, girl.” I sighed, stepping away. I put my hands on my hips and looked at the street before turning back towards her - a giggling mess, leaning on the front wall of the house.

“Why are you here?” She finally asked me, still smiling, but no longer chuckling.

“I wanted to talk to you.” I said, stepping closer once again. “About last night.”

“What about it?” She asked, cocking her eyebrow at me.

“I liked it.” I said leaning my face closer to hers, putting my hands on either sides of her shoulders on the wall behind her.

“Mhm.” I sighed at her half-ass answer. “And?” This time I raised my eyebrow at her teasingly.

“And I wanna do it again.” I said, looking deeply into her shining eyes.

“Why don’t you?” My body reacted faster than my brain when I heard her words. Within a second our lips were connected again and I was tasting the sweet cherry taste of her chapstick.

“Wait.” She breathed out against my lips and I pulled away, only a centimeter. “I don’t- I don’t wanna be fuck buddies or anything like that. I’m not really-”

“Me neither.” I cut her off, scanning her face hungrily.

“Then what do you want?” She asked and I smiled at the sweet pleading audible in her voice.

“I wanna be exclusive.” I cupped her soft face in my hands. “With you.” My hand travelled up to her forehead where I brushed a loose piece of her hair behind her ear, watching her face carefully for any switch in emotion, but there was none. She was still smiling, looking me in the eye with the softest of gazes. I fluttered my eyelids slowly, feeling a soft blush come onto my cheeks. “I think it’d be really cute.”

“You think?” She asked, letting her eyelashes fall a little lower, making her expression change from sweet to sultry in an instant.

“Don’t dodge my questions.” I said in a jokingly warning tone, smiling a little wider. She raised her eyebrow at me, coming back to the cute teasing vibe.

“You didn’t ask a single-” I shook my head and put my thumb on her bottom lip.

“Just say ‘Yes, Jimin. I’ll be your girlfriend.” I moved my finger, making her lips open and close as I pretended she said what I wanted to hear from her so badly.

With my finger still over her now closed lips she smiled sweetly and pressed on the door handle.

“You should come in.” She said opening the door with one hand and pulling me in by the hem of my shirt. Her hands travelled to mine as she walked backwards with her eyes focused on me.

“(Y/N), no boys in-” A female voice called out as soon as I stepped through the threshold of the sorority house. I didn't even have time to look over at whoever was speaking, because (Y/N) grabbed my hand and led me up the grand staircase.

“He’s my boyfriend.” She called out casually to the other girl and I cocked my eyebrow at her teasingly.

“Am I now?” I asked, looking up at her a couple of steps higher than me.

“Shut up.” She chuckled, glancing down at me.

-

Day 17

I looked around the lecture hall I haven’t been in for ages. In search of an empty seat I scanned the room finally noticing (Y/N). She was sitting in the back, with her feet on the chair, knees up to her chest, scrolling through her phone mindlessly.

“Hey, babe.” I breathed out sitting in the empty seat beside her. She looked up at me confused, as if she was expecting for someone else, but quickly her surprised expression turned into a happy one.

“Hey.” She said sweetly, leaning over to give me a kiss. “I swear this is the first time I’ve seen you in this class.” She chuckled going back to her phone.

“Because this is my first time in this class.” I explained, unashamed about the fact.

Jungkook’s P.O.V.

I pushed open the lecture hall’s door and my eyes immediately shot up  to scan through the back seats where I would usually sit with (Y/N). I quickly found her sitting in the very last row, but was unpleasantly surprised not to notice an empty seat beside her and even more than surprised when I recognised the guy sitting next to her was none other than my best friend Jimin. Did she just break our unspoken agreement of holding a seat for each other in our shared classes for him? For him? Shaking my head I walked towards the first empty seat I saw and pulled out my phone.

11:13 [Jungkook] >:(

11:15 [(Y/N)] what?

11:15 [Jungkook] figure it out

I tapped my foot nervously looking at the three moving dots in the corner of my screen. After a moment they disappeared and I sighed in annoyance. After a couple minutes of patient waiting I decided to take the matter into my own hands.

11:24 [Jungkook] ok ill tell u. u didnt save a seat for me and i had to sit in the front row

11:26 [(Y/N)] i did save u a seat. jimin just came i and took it xd

11:26 [Jungkook] shouldve chased him away

11:27 [(Y/N)] i will next time

I smiled for a moment at the small victory, but it’s sweet taste didn’t drown out the bitterness I still felt inside. I haven’t really spoken to Jimin since arguing with him at our match last week. I’ve had more than enough time to think about what both him and I said that day, but I didn’t. In actuality I decided to ignore the way I felt and with that, ignore Jimin… But now, faced with him and (Y/N) looking ‘friendly’, as he put it, sitting together in the back of the class I couldn’t push it all down anymore. Before I could stop myself my thoughts took me back to the moment I saw (Y/N) in the bleachers at last week’s game. I was so happy to see her. Why?

I shook my head, trying to stop myself from thinking it, but it seemed impossible. We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. I literally friendzoned her like two weeks ago I can’t- I don’t- I… I looked over my shoulder towards the back of the room. She was still sitting next to Jimin, showing him something on her phone. They were close, awfully close.

Turning back forward to face the professor’s presentation I tilted my head trying to find an explanation for why I was so upset by that. An explanation other than the obvious that came to my mind.

-

Day 22

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

I skipped down the dark wooden staircase typing up a text in the groupchat I had with my best girlfriends. I walked to the heavy oak door and pulled on the goldish handle. The door made a loud creaking noise as it always did. I already told Jimin about a hundred times they should get it fixed, but he never brought the issue up with their House Manager.

“(Y/N)?” I heard someone call my name from behind me. I turned in place and my eyes were met with the familiar warmth of Jungkook’s brown irises. I smiled looking at him, standing with a clueless expression in the middle of the living room to my left.

“Hey.” I said sweetly, not letting go of the cold metallic handle.

Somehow I forgot Jungkook also lived here. I came here so often to see Jimin and never saw him here so it just… Slipped my mind.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, taking a couple of steps closer.

“Well, I was just leaving.” I pointed to the door with my phone in my hand, playing dumb. He shook his head with a slight smile and I realised my heart didn’t flutter at the sight as it used to just a couple of weeks ago.

“Yeah, but why?” He asked, stepping closer.

“Oh, Jimin.” I said with a chuckle of pretend realisation. Jungkook’s face seemed to have dropped a little as he heard my vague explanation.

“Oh.” He sighed, still looking me in the eyes.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time.” I said leaning on the half open door and he scratched the back of his neck and again… Nothing. Not even one butterfly in my stomach at the sight of his flexing bicep or his small bunny-like smile.

“Yeah, I guess.” He leaned on the door frame. The proximity in which we stood meant nothing to me at this point and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. Am I really over this boy? Wow.

“How’s the fraternity life?” I asked smiling up at him, the soft summer’s breeze came through the door ruffling his fringe a little.

“It’s… Good.” He finally answered, unconvincingly.

“I’m glad.” I said, not really wanting to hear more from him right now. “Actually, I have a question.” I took a step outside and he turned to the side to still see me while leaning on the tall door frame. “Are you going to be here tomorrow night?” I turned back towards him, flipping my hair over my shoulder. “At the party I mean.”

“I live here, so… Yeah.” He sighed. Why did he sound so goddamn tired? “Why?” He asked, putting his hands in his pockets and flexing his arms ever so slightly - a trick boys did to make their muscles seem bigger when talking to a girl. I smiled at his silly actions.

“I didn’t want to be here alone, that’s all.” I lied swiftly.

“Well, Jimin’s gonna be here as w- wait.” He squinted his eyes at me. “You’re thinking of going?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly. “Don’t look so surprised.” I added with a chuckle, taking a step away from him and towards the steps down from the big front porch. “I’m a known party girl with a reputation to uphold.”

“Yeah, but not in the week prior to finals.” He said smiling at me with disbelief.

“Well, tomorrow is kind of… Mandatory for Alpha Psis.” As I finished my sentence I turned my back to the boy and skipped down the three steps from the stone porch to the paved lane.

“Who are you?” He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest, again flexing his arms.

“Your worst nightmare from now on.” I said shooting him a serious glare over my shoulder before walking away making sure to sway my hips a little harder than usual. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you, Alpha Psi.” He called from behind my back and for the entirety of my walk down the lane connecting his frat house to the sidewalk of the street I didn’t hear him close the heavy oak door.

-

Day 23

The moment I heard Lisa’s footsteps on the wooden floor of the corridor separating our bedrooms I knew she was going to accuse me of underdressing or something of that sort.

“Really?” She said, sitting down on my bed behind me as I put my large hoop earrings on, standing by the full length mirror leaned by one of the walls of my bedroom.

I eyed her outfit in the reflection and bit my lip. She was wearing skin tight black shorts with fishnet tights underneath. Her band t-shirt was half tucked into her bottoms, revealing the thick leather belt holding them up. To top it off she wore a pair of heavy combat boots that gave her at least an extra five centimeters of height.

“Okay, help me.” I said letting my arms fall to my sides in resignation as her gaze drilled into my back mercilessly. 

“It’s… Fine.” She said gesturing to my figure dressed in a tight mini skirt and spaghetti-strap crop top, both in black just like what she was wearing. “Maybe with different shoes?” She said more to herself than me as she looked at my thigh high boots. I rested my hands on my hips, looking at her warningly. She knew well that I hated it when she commented on my style. “Okay, okay. Just one thing. Just try it and if you don’t like it go as you are and I won’t say a thing.” She murmured walking to my closet. She rummaged through the boxes of shoes at the bottom of it and pulled out a bright orange one.

“Nike’s?” I asked, taking the box and sitting down at my bed.

“And these.” She tossed a pair of white Nike socks from my dresser and I chuckled. It was so her style - wearing a sexy outfit with a pair of branded sneakers of an opposite colour.

I took off my high heeled boots and slipped on the comfortable sock and sneakers. Their bright white colour contrasted well with the darkness of my outfit. I scanned the whole thing in the mirror and nodded to myself.

“Okay, you were right.” I finally said and she nodded in satisfaction. “This time.” I added wagging my finger at her jokingly.

“Girls! We’re leaving in a minute!” One of your sorority sisters called from downstairs.

Since becoming part of the greek life I rarely went to parties alone and tonight was no exception. All the Alpha Psi’s were going to show out tonight at the annual ‘finals start off’ party at the Theta Sigma Phi fraternity house - also known as Jimin and Jungkook’s house. Living in the Fraternity-Sorority Row we didn’t have to take a car to get there. We walked out of our house in an intimidating formation - close to thirty girls walking down the street, dressed to the nines with bottles of champagne and whatever other alcohol in their hands, making people take second glances as we strutted on the hard asphalt.

With Lisa holding my hand and giggling about something into my ear I walked confidently through the open oak door. As I’ve been to the house many times before I led us straight to the kitchen to get us both a glass, or better a bottle of something strong. As I was about to grab a bottle of tequila from the counter I heard my name being called through the loud music.

“(Y/N)?” I turned around and locked eyes with Jungkook. The hair he had tied in a messy bun at the top of his head yesterday was falling on the sides of his face in soft waves right now. He looked me up and down, exhaling loudly. “What happened to you?” Not getting an immediate answer he shook his head and walked up to me, opening his arms.

Shocked by the sudden hug I reciprocated the motion letting my hand travel down his back. As he pulled away he noticed Lisa by my side and with his arm still draped around my shoulder he introduced himself to her and vice versa.

“So, what happened?” He pressed, still looking at me with a mixture of confusion and satisfaction lining his eyes. From where he was standing he probably had the perfect view down my skimpy top, but I couldn’t care less. “You look fucking great.” He breathed out heavily and both Lisa and I giggled.

“As I always do.” I shot back with a smirk waving his hand off my shoulder.

“Of course.” He quickly assured me. “Honestly.” He shook his head looking at me with his doe-like eyes. “I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

“I told you: Alpha Psi’s are coming. And since I am one…” I shrugged and smiled lightly at him. “I’m here.”

“And I’m so fucking pleased you are.” He said smiling down at me with his bunny teeth. 

“Ladies.” Another voice called, this time from behind our backs. “Hey, Lisa.”

“Jimin.” She exclaimed with a bright smile and kissed the boy on the cheek as he approached her.

“(Y/N).” He said, turning towards me with nothing but adoration in his shining irises. “Beautiful as always.” I smiled at his compliment and kissed his cheek lightly as his hand glided down my waist only to stop right above my butt to rest there comfortably. “I’m happy you made it girls.” He looked at our empty hands and then at Jungkook. “Jungkook…” He hummed disapprovingly. “You haven’t offered our guests drinks?” He asked in a scolding tone before looking at Lisa and I with his eyebrow raised. “The usual?” We both confirmed and he reached to the counter beside him to make us drinks.

I couldn’t help, but realise that Jungkook stiffened standing next to me. I also couldn’t help, but let myself wonder for a moment why he did that. Was he angered by something? Uncomfortable maybe? Was it me? Was it the fact that if we hadn’t bumped into each other yesterday he wouldn’t even know I was coming? Was it because I was close with his best friend, his fraternity brother? Closer than I’ve ever been with him even though we’ve known each other for barely a couple of weeks when Jungkook and I went as far back as primary school… 

“Here you go. With double shots.” Jimin said, passing us both plastic blue cups. I immediately took a sip of the bitter mixture, letting my throat burn as I swallowed the liquid.

“You girls want a tour of the place?” Jungkook asked in a cocky tone, leaning on the kitchen island with his arms across his chest, biceps flexed.

“Ah, Lisa maybe.” Jimin answered him before any of us could open our mouths. “(Y/N)’s been here tons of times.” Jungkook’s eyes travelled between Jimin and I frantically as his friend spoke. “She knows the place like her own.” He bumped my shoulder with his own shooting me a knowing grin, before wrapping his arm around my figure, pulling me close. I reciprocated the expression without hesitation, despite feeling Jungkook’s fiery gaze on me.

Jungkook’s P.O.V.

“So you’re here often?” I asked, tightening my crossed arms over my chest.

“Mhm.” (Y/N) hummed as she took another sip of her drink.

“Why?” I blurted out, not caring how rude that might have sounded.

“Why wouldn’t she be when her boyfriend lives here?” Jimin asked rhetorically and I raised my eyebrows, looking between the both of them, trying to hide my shock.

“You’re dating?” I asked, wishing that they’d just say they were joking and it was all a bad prank, but no. (Y/N) smiled lightly my way before averting her eyes to Jimin, her lips moved and so did his, but I didn’t hear them. Suddenly I noticed his hand resting on the small of her back and thought back to the moment when he asked me for her number a couple of weeks back, to the moment she got him as her project partner in Sociology, the moment when I saw her in the stands at our game. How could I be so goddamn stupid?

-

Day 24

I stumbled through the front door onto the porch of the house. I looked at the concrete lane leading to the street and suddenly felt really dizzy. Holding onto the railing I slid down the front steps and walked the front lawn. I sighed deeply before bending down and puking onto the ground. I heard someone squirm in the background, but I couldn’t care less about whoever saw me right now. All I cared about was the sweet sound of (Y/N)’s voice ringing in my head. She called my name over and over again.

“Jungkook.” I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. I quickly straightened up, which turned out to be a huge mistake since it made my head spin ten times faster than it was before. “Woah. Hold up.” Small soft hands grabbed on both of my shoulders holding me in place. I fluttered my eyes open trying to focus my vision on the person before me.

“(Y/N)?” I asked unsure if it was really her.

“Yeah.” She said, frowning at me.

In that moment I remembered all the times we walked to our dorm together - sometimes not talking, sometimes holding each other up as we were too drunk to walk straight by ourselves, sometimes holding hands… How I missed it.

“You have someone to walk you to your dorm tonight?” She chuckled at my ridiculous question.

“Don’t worry.” She said pulling on my arm and guiding me back towards the house. “I came here with an army of girls. One of them is bound to be walking back to the house when I’ll be.” She sat me down on the steps and stood in front of me with her arms across her chest.

“I’d love to see that house of yours.” I said grinning up at her and she exhaled a small laugh.

“I bet you would.” She said with a smirk. “Don’t move okay. I’ll be right back.” She walked back inside the house before I could come up with even a word of protest.

I put my face in my hands. My forehead was sweaty. I felt disgusted with myself. Did I just puke in front of (Y/N)? When the realisation hit me it was too late to do anything about it. I wiped my face with the sleeve of my t-shirt and shivered in the night's cold wind.

“Seokjin’s coming to drag you upstairs.” I jumped up at the sound of her voice as she stepped in front of me again. I opened my mouth to apologise for my behaviour, but nothing of that sort ended up coming out of it.

“You and Jimin… Are dating.” I muttered, looking up at her through my half open eyes. (Y/N) just hummed in agreement to my statement, which made me even more aggravated. “You come here often to see him and never to see me.” She just stood there with her arms over her chest, looking at me with her beautiful eyes. “Beautiful, shiny eyes.” I tried to stand up, but she pushed me down by my shoulder and since I couldn’t really hold my balance well I fell back down onto the steps. I blinked repeatedly to focus my eyes on her. “Say something.”

“Like what?” She asked immediately with a pretectional smile. “You’re really drunk, Jungkook.”

“Not that.” I groaned, resting my head on the railing next to me. “Say- I don’t know.” I sighed, feeling close to puking again. “Uh, I can’t hate you.” (Y/N) frowned at the sound of that word.

“Why would you?” She asked, tightening her arms around herself. I looked up into her eyes and knew that though I was drunk beyond understanding this was the right moment to tell her everything.

“Hey, big guy.” I felt a pat on my back and leaned forward at the impact. “Let’s get you to bed.” Jin pulled me up and put my arm over his shoulder. Feeling my stomach rise to my throat I thought it was the safest option to keep my mouth shut and concentrate on moving my legs in unison with his. I glanced towards (Y/N) one more time before Jin dragged me back inside the house. She looked disappointed.

-

Day 26

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

“I’m telling you he’s pissed.” Jimin whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

We were sitting together in the back of the lecture hall, waiting for the professor to call our names and read out our grades for the project, pretending we’re listening to his words of praise or disapproval as he was grading other students before us when in fact we were both focused on Jungkook, who was sitting a couple of rows ahead of us. Unfortunately we couldn’t read much out of his back and broad shoulders.

“He was pissed when I said we’re friends, now he’s pissed we’re more.” Jimin added, shifting closer to me in his seat.

“No way.” I whispered back, sure of my words.

“(Y/N), I’m not kidding.” We looked at each other and I realised how serious he felt about the matter. “He hasn’t spoken to me since that one game you came to.”

“He’s got some fucked up siblings syndrome, that’s all.” I brushed him off unconvincingly. Jimin shook his head, shifting his gaze back to the back of his best friend’s head.

“I think it’s more.” He bit his lip.

“What do you mean?” I asked, scrunching my brows.

“I think he’s jealous.” He explained and I barely stopped myself from scoffing out a chuckle.

“Of what?” Jimin looked at me with one of his eyebrows raised, as if he was challenging me to guess the answer.

“You.” He finally breathed out.

“No.” I shot him down immediately. “He’s the one that friendzoned me, remember?” I added, cringing at the memory of going through that rejection and then telling Jimin all about it when we started dating. “Why would he be-”

“Maybe he changed his mind.” He interrupted me before I could finish my sentence and I shook my head in disbelief.

“Don’t think so.” Jimin sighed at my answer. It seemed there was no way to convince him he wasn’t right. “And even if he did it’s a little too late for that.” I added, shoving his shoulder with mine jokingly before planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“It’s still weird.” He said after a moment. “I want my best friend back, but he’s acting like a total asshole.” I sighed, knowing how hard it must be for him.

“I know.” I rubbed his hand as I held it in mine. “If there was anything-”

“Actually, there is.” He cut me off though I haven’t finished my declaration of help yet. “You could, you know, ask him.”

“Ask him what? If he likes me?” I looked at him with a bit of aversion.

“Yeah.” His voice sounded so timid all of a sudden I didn’t know what to say to him. 

For the next ten minutes Jimin and I worked on drafting the perfect message to send to Jungkook, but ended up typing up the shortest of the ones we thought of. Long paragraphs weren’t really our thing anyway.

11:35 [(Y/N)] are u mad at jimin?

11:35 [Jungkook] no

11:35 [(Y/N)] he thinks ur mad at him and it makes him sad

Jimin shoved my shoulder as I sent the message before consulting him.

“You are though.” I said, rubbing his leg comfortingly and he just sighed.

11:35 [Jungkook] im not

11:35 [(Y/N)] then why are u avoiding him

11:36 [Jungkook] im not

11:36 [(Y/N)] u are

11:36 [Jungkook] no

11:36 [(Y/N)] Jungkook come on

11:36 [(Y/N)] are u mad at me then?

11:37 [Jungkook] no

11:37 [(Y/N)] then what the fuck is up with u?

11:37 [Jungkook] nothing

11:37 [(Y/N)] bull

11:37 [(Y/N)] talk to me

11:37 [(Y/N)] now

11:38 [Jungkook] can u see me after class?

11:38 [(Y/N)] yes

11:38 [Jungkook] without Jimin

11:38 [(Y/N)] okay

“Why’d you say that?” Jimin hissed into my ear.

“Because.” I locked my phone so he couldn’t read my text over my shoulder anymore. “He’s clearly not feeling confident about himself right now. I’ll just talk to him for a minute and that’s it.” Jimin bit his lip. He looked concerned. “Don’t worry. You’ll have your friend back in no time.”

“It’s not that.” He shook his head and grabbed my hand in his. “I’m worried he might actually like you and-”

“And then what?” I asked, also beginning to feel a little nervous right now. “It’ll be awkward for a while and then it will all go back to normal.” I squeezed his hand and took my other one to cup his chin, bringing his gaze up to meet mine. “I swear.”

Jimin and I walked out of the lecture hall with almost a hundred percent for our project. I gave him a quick kiss before he left to go to his next class and I went on to talk to Jungkook. The other boy, though along with his project partner he got the best grade in our year, walked out the lecture hall’s door with his head down and shoulders sunk by the weight of his backpack.

“You okay?” I asked as he walked up to me with a more than tired expression. Instead of saying something he just shrugged. I brought my eyebrows into a slight frown looking at him. Who was he? Not the Jungkook I fell for months ago, that’s for sure. “So? Tell me. What’s up?” I pressed him as we stood in the, now empty, hallway. Jungkook sighed deeply before opening his mouth.

“Can we walk?” He asked weakly and I nodded.

We walked outside of the building and slowly made our way through the campus grounds. I let us spend around two or three minutes in silence before I spoke again.

“So?” I started vaguely.

Jungkook’s P.O.V.

When we were texting during class I felt ready, but now faced with the situation telling (Y/N) how I felt seemed like an impossible task.

“So?” She asked again as we walked through the campus.

I looked up into the sky breathing in and exhaled slowly as I brought my gaze back to the ground. This wasn’t the time.

“I’m just stressed.” She scoffed at my words, clearly not buying them.

“Yeah, and?” She pressed, looking done as she walked next to me.

She was doing it for Jimin, not for me. She had plenty of other friends, she didn’t need me. He must have asked her to talk to me, make me come to my senses and stop being so overprotective, so possesive, so… Jealous.

“This isn’t easy for me.” I said truthfully and this time it was her that exhaled a heavy sigh instead of me.

“I know.” She was looking ahead and not at me. “It’s hard for Jimin too, you know? He really misses you.” I swallowed loudly thinking of my best friend. He wasn’t the one at fault, it was all on me. I was the one that realised his feelings all too late.

“I know.” I muttered, looking down at my shoes.

“Then what is it?” (Y/N) asked, the concern audible and sincere in her soft voice. “Why are you not talking to him?” She pressed. “He says you leave the room when he walks in and refuse to go to parties when you know he’s coming. He’s really hurt.” Hearing her say it made me feel like a real dick.

“I know.” I whined. “I’m sorry. I-”

“I’m not the one you should be apologising to.” She was right, but it was so hard to look at Jimin right now. I hated him, even though I knew well that I shouldn’t.

“I know.” I admitted tiredly.

“Good.” She said sternly and glanced my way, her expression softening once again. “But really, Jungkook.” She stopped and sighed as I looked at her running her hand through her hair carelessly.

“Hm?” I hummed, wanting her to continue.

“Why did you stop talking to him?” She asked and looked me in the eye. I swallowed slowly, knowing how hard it’ll be to lie to her right now. All she wanted was for me to get along with my best friend again, my frat bro, her boyfriend… “What happened?”

“I-” I took a deep breath and then my tongue started moving before I even had time to come up with the words in my head. “It’s just we weren’t doing well in the playoffs and you know how I am about football.” I glanced at her nervously, she wasn’t too convinced yet. “And then he was busy hanging out with you and I blamed you for him not being in perfect shape when in fact it wasn’t just his fault, ‘cause like I wasn’t in that great of a state either, physically and mentally.” Shooting her another look now I was sure she believed me. Her eyebrows were knotted in concern, her mouth curved into a slight frown. “And finally getting into Theta Sigma Phi and moving there was also such a hassle. Don’t get me wrong I was really fucking happy, but also just so tired after all the hazing and everything and then I found out you two were going out.” I made a dramatic pause to take a deep breath. “It was weird. Two of my friends…” I swallowed my pride and feelings prior to saying the next sentence that came out of my mouth. “He’s like a bother to me and like literally my frat brother right now and you’re like a- like a sister and it was all just… A bit much, I guess.” I was impressed at my own ability to come up with such an elaborate and believable lie so quickly.

“I’m sorry you felt so overwhelmed.” Right as I heard the heartfelt hurt and sorrow in (Y/N)’s tone as she spoke I felt like the world’s biggest asshole, but what else could I do? Confess? I couldn’t do that to my best friend. “And that both Jimin and I had part in making you feel that way.” She looked up at me with a half smile that I quickly reciprocated. I wanted to tell her it’s fine and she shouldn’t worry, but my stomach was in knots and my tongue tied. “I really hope you two can work this out rather quickly. He wants his best bro back and I want to see him happy.” Of course she does. He’s her boyfriend. She’s doing this for him. “You too for that matter.” My eyes shot up to her and I smiled again, this time sincerely.

-

Day 31

After the official announcement of the winning team and all the hand shaking and picture taking I walked off the field with the rest of the team, still smiling widely. It was the last game of the summer season and we won. I couldn’t be happier. Hoseok, our team captain, announced we’re going to a celebratory party at one of the frat houses in our university’s Row. I shrugged not recognising the name of the frat and went into the showers, tired after the long game, but still full of joy. After I got myself cleaned up I collected my things and along with the rest of the team walked out of the locker room. As the first guys made their way out I heard whistles and howling sounds.

“Get a room!” Hoseok called teasingly.

As I looked above his shoulder with a cheeky grin ready to comment on whatever was going on in the corridor I felt my spirit shrink inside my chest.

“Piss off!” Jimin yelled back to our captain with a satisfied grin, wrapping his arms around embarrassed (Y/N). “Don’t listen to them, babe. They’re just jealous.” He chuckled, brushing her hair out of her face and he couldn’t be more right… 

As we walked by I glanced at them quickly one more time, an act I regretted almost instantly. I saw (Y/N) cupping Jimin’s smiling face in her hands and bringing him towards her to share a kiss. I bit down hard on my lip and turned away. I was on good terms with Jimin again and I didn’t want to fuck that up. Not just because he was my best friend, but also, because I didn’t want to upset her, (Y/N). My unfortunate crush.

When will I get over you and forget the sweet feeling of your lips on mine? The lips that were now Jimin’s to kiss, the lips that I kissed once and pushed away. How could I be so stupid?

[magic-number-3]

okay so i actually did watch a few episodes of 911 this week without liveblogging them but i did take notes as if i was liveblogging and then just,,, didnt lmao so in case anyone cares about my thoughts im going to share them anyway asdlfkjsdl mostly i think they’ll just be fun to look at later

2x02

CHRISTOPHER CAN BE ON SCREEN FOR 2 SECONDS AND I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Eddie Diaz is soooooo fuckin dreamy i stgggggg

“I cant order you guys to go inside that building and im not gonna judge you if you decide not to” “Hen, you got a kid, so...” “Yeah. And I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him they’d do it. No matter what.” QUEEN SHIT 😤😤😤

Marvin you on thin ice but you right; you a king

IM GOOD COACH HEART OF A CHAMPION WHY AM I CRYING

HEART OF CHAMP I AM CRYING AND THEY ALL KEEP SAYING IT BACK TO HIM IM- IM FRAGILE RN. LITERALLY WHY DID EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ARC MAKE ME SO EMO

NOT HENRIETTA. FUCK

2x03

MADDIE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU GOT THIS QUEEN

“They could really use a miracle today” “I might just have a few  of those left. I see them.” ALSKFKGKS crying why is the dialogue so good in this show???

FUCK. RUSS ITS YOUR DAY OFF

Russ gonna die im calling it. They saved the athlete and they’ll probably save the little girl?? So hes not gonna make it. At least hen is okay

“Even i couldnt save me. You dont know me, but im good.” “Oh yeah? Well maybe im better”

FUCK. I called it but it still hurts

CLOSE CALL WITH THAT ELEVATOR OMGGG

ALL OF THAT ENDING??? WE CAN BE HEROES SLAPS AND IK WE BEEN KNEW BUT ALDJFKFKSKJ everything about the end to that episode is so 👌👌👌 i wanna cry

EDDIE RUNNING TO HIS BOYYYYYYYY IM

ATHENA AND BOBBY HELL YEAHHHHH the husband is a straight g pullin thru for him like that

2x04

OMG CHRISTOPHER AND EDDIE IM 🥺🥺🥺

Also Christopher is such. Lil cutie

THEIR LITTLE FAMILY!! THE ABUELA?

“These fire guys are totally hot” LAKJDFKAL I MEAN YOURE RIGHT

AKJDKLASDJ YOU LIVE IN YOUR INVISIBLE GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND YOURE TELLING ME ABOUT WEAK EXCUSES. THAT SMUG LOOK ON EDDIES FACE IM ASLKFJSAL

Oh sheet Eddies abuela 😞

Every interaction between Eddie and Christopher got me like 🥺🥺🥺

Okay how are you not supposed to ship Buddie they’re talking about being single together and then his aunt telling buck about how ‘he’s a saint’ and all that??? THATS SUCH ROMANTIC INTEREST SHIT. WHEN DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER GUSHING TO A MAIN CHARACTER AND THAT CHARACTER ISNT THE LOVE INTEREST????

HE BROUGHT CHRISTOPHER TO WORK AWWWWW!! THEYRE GOING ON A MISSION TOGETHER

Oooh I love this song STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

“Now I feel kind of lame” “BECAUSE YOU ARE” LMAO HEN

Ooooh yeah why do you call him chim???

BOBBY AND CHRISTOPHER. CHIM AND CHRISTOPHER. THIS IS SO CUTE

AWE EDDIE AND CAP

BOY CRUSH ON EDDIE ADLSJFLDKS

Awe good for Maddie omg 🥺🥺🥺

CHIMNEY IS A MODERN MEDICAL MIRACLE???? I mean good for him bro figured lol but for it to be said out loud shittttttt

AKSFJALSDK TATIANA SHES FUCKING MARRIED YOURE KIDDING ME HOW QUICKLY DID YOU GET MARRIED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH CHIM

alkjsdskla im losing it over Tatiana

Awww now this is sad :( chim’s got noboddddddy

Sdkljfas Buck you have GOT to move out of Abby’s place dude

‘I had a life-altering trauma and her life got altered. All I got was the trauma.’ THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH CHIM

YOURE MY FRIEND SHES YOUR EX. YOU GET TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON I GET TO HOLD A GRUDGE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ALSKFDSDA

Chim 🥺 awe. “Wakes me up in the middle of the night”. Buddy :( CAPS GOT YA

CARLAAAAAAAAAA HELL YEA

“BESIDES THAT PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE” SDKAFSJA

like. Fuck Tatiana. But also good for her. And Chim gets to start to move on!! That was a really sweet scene

Aw Bobby gets Athena ^-^

This was such a good fucking episode yo. Like the way the idea of being stuck had to do with the 911s lives while also all of the calls they went one were being physically stuck and the way the proposal instigated Chim’s breakdown to allow him to finally move on…. just. Excellent television!!!!

So proud of Maddie!!!! So proud of everybody this episode :)

Buck yeah you gotta move out buddy

2x05

ASKFJHASJLAD this has gotta be fake im sdlfkjsaldk

LMAOOOO THIS BITCH she’s gonna end up actually getting hurt

OMFGGGGGGGG this bitch had it coming

DONT WE KNOW YOUUUUUUUUU THE PORCH PIRATE?? ASLDKJFALKSS

What is this girls fucking problem with Maddie lmaaooooooo fuck off

Awe this lady with the muffin or whatever is so sweet. This places Celine dion 😂😂😂 queen

Lmao wait why is she actually horrible 😂😭😭

BUCKETTE LMAOOOOO

Omg Maddie and Athena are so fun

THEYRE PROTESTING HOMOSEXUALITY??? WHAT THE FUCK

HES A FUCKING RACIST TOO???

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE SWEDISH HALF BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH HALF THAT IS SLKDFJASLK EDDIE

I love Maddie and Athena so much alsdkfj

WHATS HER FACE? EVA? STRAIGHT UP BITCH JFC

Gloria im sorry but you’re getting what you deserve.

LKAJSDALKS. “People who yell and scream and cry and expect you to do something for them” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY A 911 RESPONDER THAT IS YOUR GOT DAMN JOB???

“Do they ever think of anything but themselves and what they need?” THEY ARE USUALLY DYING GLORIA

“SNITCHES GET STITCHES” JEEZ WOMAN

I feel so bad for Hen and Karen :( Eva can fuck off dude. Can’t they get sharing rights with the dad? I mean yeah it sucks that Eva is just doing this to fuck em over but like.. the dad still deserves to get to know his son if he wants to. Though Eva would probably try to stay with him just to turn Denny against Hen and Karen… UGHHHHHH

Lil denny :( aw Hen. I love her sm

Hen what u doing girl…. Cant it make the case more difficult if you keep interacting with Eva?

I love Karen and Hen sm 🥺

WHAT YOU DOING HEN. ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HER???

YOURE FINGERPRINTS ARE ON HER NOW DUDE. GO BACK

Ugh I hate that she lived but it was the right thing to do….

“I save awful people every day its my job” Hell yeah girl

SHES GOING BACK TO JAIL HELL YEAH

Dont love cheering for her going back tho jail can be terrible…. But at least she’ll be out of Karen and hens lives. we’re not meant to think too deeply about this is.

LOVE MADDIE AND ATHENA

GLORIA IS THE FUCKING WORST

oh…. gloria… damn.

Cant you just share custody?? :( I mean it sucks but like… just talk to him.

“Yeah people can be awful… but not everyone is awful… but you’ll never know what kind of person someone is unless you give them the chance to show you” :(

WOW THE DAD IS THE FUCKING BEST?? HELL YEAH

ATHENA AND BOOBBY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

Wow the last shot of the episode thats like the long shot at the dinner table with the narration was real fucking good :( im emo.

2x06

ADSLFJLK;ALSD. BUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING EDDIE CUTE BUT SHE MEANT CHIMNEY

listen. I do know what happens between those two and I am very excited.

Oh no maddies so anxiousssss

Buck fangirling over this reporter lady im asldkjflksad

“But the way they cared for me, thats what kept me alive” :( Hen :(

Omg are Athenas kids like the same age as Bobbys :(

SOMEONE SENT THEM EDIBLES????? OMFGGGGGG

OH NO CHIM IS THE ONLY ONE THATS SOBER

THIS WOMAN HAS A HIGH HEEL STICKING OUT OF HER FACE EWWWW ITS SO GROSS

DID THESE BEAUTY QUEENS SHRINK OR ARE WE SUDDENLY GIANTS ALKDSJFLKAKL

TEEN TINY THE WAY HIS VOICE FUCKING CRACKED

SDKFJSKDA THEYRE ALL FUCKING HIGH IM

HIGH BOBBY IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY

Oh no eddies upsetttttt 😂

This is fucking HILARIOUS

Oh no bobbyyyyyyyy :((((((

Awe the news piece was so nice

CHIMNEY AND MADDIEEEEEEE

Oh shes got a fucking POPCORN MAKER IM SO JEALOUS

Wow Taylor was really going to use the footage :/

“Just get a room already” BUCK NOOOO DUDE

The way bobby always fist bumps Athenas son whenever they say hello/goodbye. So fun 🥺good content right there

DONT TELL ME THEYRE GONNA ASK HIM TO BE IN THE PIC????

OMGGGGG BOBBYYYYYYY IM CRYINGGGGGG

AWE AND THE FUCKING SONG; WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE ROOM YOU PROBABLY NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE I DO

[mc-slowwalker]

a quick google search tells me that diamond is in fact stronger than enamel so he would in fact have to create his own dental tools but to save money he could just go with a pick axe. and well I’ve always lowkey been on the eggs side, add dental insurance to the mix and I’m sold

the dreamsmp citizen memes are soooo funny. and about like the ocs and stuff, the dreamsmp really is greatcoat that cause you can basically do whatever. usually tho I hate self inserts/ocs just personal preference or the fact that the ones I’ve come across in other fandoms have been annoying as hell. it’s like what we talked about before about how the dreamsmp leaves so much room for this type of creative stuff it’s cool

ohhhh that makes sense. yeah people would probably only be talking about you if you’re famous enough or famous enough to be cancelled ig. ooh you should post it!! that’d be good cause it’s definitely true and there really is no excuse for acting in that way. I think I will write that cause the more apologist discourse I see, the more motivated I get and it’s also kind of something that really interests me. oh yeah I’d definitely post it on tumblr because I love discussion and twitter is not the space for that and they’d just misinterpret what I say anyway

what no!! chem supremacy. it’s actually so interesting!!! chem and physics are the best even tho I hated them with every fibre of my being in high school. I didn’t take bio in high school but I have to in uni as a prerequisite for my major and I hate it

wooo tumblr premium let’s goo I am not going to spend a single cent on this hellsite. I feel like this feeling deep in me whenever I refer to it as a hellsite😭😭

Okay listen logically I knew that diamond was tougher than enamel but I was thinking about it from the wear and tear perspective like can he even get cavities?? I don’t know what the effects of sugar is on diamonds in my defense!!

No I’m the exact same way with self inserts and ocs in other fandoms, they can be cool hut half the time they seem like they don’t fit into the world?? And self inserts always give me second hand embarrassment. Like reader x and reader & fics make me soo uncomfortable like hi thanks I’d rather not meet my favorite mcyt like that actually and getting singled out is my worst fucking nightmare but you do you. Sorry for the rant its just with self insert stuff I always feel weird about because like I know damn well that if I met my favorite cc or fictional character in real life we would 1000% not be friends. I’m cool with that too. I think for dream smp citizen stuff it’s less “I am friends with the creators” and more “I live in this world and I am seeing this shit happen”. Like the ccs still have a degree of separation to them that I really appreciate

I mean I could post it but I feel like it’s a little old now also I’m like 95% sure I said the post word from word so how knows. Yooooo use that motivation!!! Let spite fuel you

Here’s why chemistry sucks: I took it and not only got 13% on an 8 question test (somehow) I also had to drop out and it made me cry several times so I have a personal vendetta against it. Also I have to take it every single day next semester because I did so bad. The lab teacher also sucked I would ask questions and get yelled at for asking like bruh!! Dangerous chemicals here homie please chill. I could write a whole essay on why chem lab was the worst but chemistry isn’t worth my time im too busy understanding and like biology oh damn cells? Banger. Evolution? Banger. Regeneration? Banger. Banger after banger chem simply cannot compete /lh

I think tumblr should hire me I have a long list of way to help them make this site actively worse. I have so many ideas

[kpopchangedme]

Im Jaebeom | Pregnancy!au [M]

Jaebeom read so many baby-related books he's forgotten how to enjoy some simple pleasures... (Oh, and you are obviously cranky and hormonal but he knows better than to tell you that!)

Protagonists: Im Jaebeom & You

Word Count: 2.4k

Genre: NSFW - Newly Weds - Romance - Angst - Pregnancy - Pregnancy sex- Smut || [Drabble 2k]

Prompts: “I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time” + “Should have gotten a puppy.” [Anon]

Lyly's note: Is this sexy pregnancy!au worthy of Things I Wish I Knew or what? lol. Pregnant ladies, go get some! ;)

GOT7 | M.list

You let out a loud swear, stepping on a phone charger someone has somehow abandoned in the middle of the living room. It freaking hurts, like a tiny torture device, tore the sensitive skin of your foot. Of course, when you sit on the couch to examine it, it looks perfectly fine. 

“Should've gotten a damn puppy,” You curse again under your breath, unreasonably livid. 

Instantly, the guilty party's head pops out of the doorframe to his office. “Honey!” Jaebeom considers you from head to toe in outrage, “The Shrimp has ears.”

That's his thing now that the third-semester started; obsessing about auditory development and what the baby is able to hear. Swears, news coverage of dramatic events and loud quarrels are strictly prohibited. He plays music whenever he has the chance, boasting about how you are growing a music whiz. 

Ever since he read his first damn pregnancy book, Jaebeom turned into a helicopter daddy-to-be, always hovering to make sure you are doing everything right. At the end of the third prenatal visit, he decided on moving his whole studio at home to work and mommysit – as he calls it.

By the time he was done with the fourth pregnancy book, you felt like nothing but an incubator to his spawn. That's not exactly what you wished your first year of life together would feel like. But then again, you didn't plan on getting pregnant on your honeymoon, the first time you two ditched contraception. It happened very fast. Everyone called it a blessing and you did too for a while, you were elated. Right until you started to lose your hair and struggle with acne like a damn teenager… Now it varies daily, you are either excited or scared shitless, in high spirits or easily irritable, you can't tell before it shifts. Overbearing, Jaebeom has gotten better than yourself at reading your daily disposition.

When you glare at him, he straightens worryingly in the doorframe, partly to blame for your current mood. “Don't look at me!” You snap in exasperation, still rubbing the sole of your aching foot. “Can you stop looking at me like that?”

He risks taking a few steps in your general direction, expertly assessing the situation, “Like what?”

"Like I’m a ticking bomb; like I'm gonna start yelling at you any second!” Freezing in the middle of the place, he presses his tongue to his cheek. You are almost shouting, but he knows better than to point that out.

“I’m not,” Jaebeom comes to sit by you guardedly. He makes sure not to maintain eye contact for too long, as though you're a dangerous fickle animal. "Did you hurt yourself?"

You hiss threateningly at the question but he still reaches for your perpetually bloated foot. Gently, he massages it, flashing you a dumb innocent smile. Still sullen, you at least allow him to do that much.

Fine, you do not completely hate having your man work from home. 

“I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time...” 

“Moody?” You cross your arms over your chest and Jaebeom chuckles, shaking his head. “You're the living definition of serene honey... You're the best. I love you.”

“Shuddup.” Groaning at the fake compliment, you offer your second foot after a minute of pampering, slightly appeased. “Stop trying so hard, it turns me into a cliché bitch.” You don't miss Jaebeom’s grimace at the word, but he isn't brave enough to correct you again. “Tell you what, if the baby's first word is a swear... I’ll do everything you ask of me for a year.”

"Everything? A whole year?” Raising his eyebrows suggestively, Jaebeom leans in for a lengthy kiss. “You know I can't say no to a promise like that. I would abuse that power, I’m quite imaginative.” You laugh against his mouth, sliding your arms around his neck for him to linger a little longer. Your hub has one hell of a gift, he can always change your mood, even on the worst days. That being said, you're always in the mood for some sexy time with him lately. You just have limited positions and flexibility. “I might teach the Shrimp your favourite cusses just to win that privilege.”

“You wouldn't dare.”

Laughing, Jaebeom sits back but you follow, managing to climb him without difficulty. It's clear he has started something with his massage, stirred your desire. “I’m not done,” he warns pointlessly, not talking about you, "I'm working hard." He points his chin to the studio, but you don't climb down. There's no way he believes you will let him go back to his office right now.

“Very hard yeah,” chuckling, you pull at the collar of his shirt, “Mister Producer.” He breaks the kiss to get rid of the piece of clothing himself, eager to entertain your favourable disposition. Some sacrifices are harder to make than others, and taking a break from work for quick sex is a no brainer. Your hands roam his shoulders, even after all this time you still can't get enough. “Did you save it?” Nudging your nose to his, you pull away to throw your loose gown over your head. 

Jaebeom groans, already expertly unhooking your bra, “Of course I saved, but I’ll need to get back to it...” His mouth explores your neck and you throw your head back, savouring every single one of his kisses. “Feeling better?” He hums, lightly sucking your skin and you moan. Fine, having your man work from home is the best damn thing that ever happened to you. At your natural response, Jaebeom cups your swollen breasts, thumbs rubbing circles on your areolas. 

“Shit.” Instantly, he shushes in disapproval making you laugh. You lean into him as much as your 29 weeks belly allows. “I can't help myself, I'm too sensitive.”

“I can see that baby,” Jaebeom marvels as his constant stroking of your nipples makes your thighs jerk. “I read third-semester’ orgasms are incredibly intense...” You rise to your knees to slide his fleece jogger pants down, smoothly freeing his erection. These darn books sure reveal some useful information sometimes… “What do you think?”

“Oh, how would I possibly know that?” He stops altogether, freezing under you at the joke. Barely two days prior, you finished twice before he did – very expressively – but still, he hesitates. For a man as skilled as he is, it sure is easy to make him question himself. Jaebeom is contemplating his life, a dubious look on his face when you take his cock in your palm. His eyes shut, goosebumps spreading on his body at your touch. Smirking, you stroke him leisurely, “I guess you’ll have to keep working hard so we can find out.” You say that but really, you’ve been so hypersensitive lately, he could make you reach your high without even trying.

“You know...” Opening his eyes lazily, Jaebeom frowns; “I'm not sure how I feel… About the Shrimp is hearing all our sexy talk...” It's your turn to stop everything.

Oh no, he did not just say that… Not after all the stuff he put you through!

“I swear to God, Im fucking Jaebeom! I let you have your way until now; I gave up caffeine, cheese and fish…” Suddenly livid, you start checking things off of your fingers. “You are worried of dumb stuff you read about despite the doctor's best opinion... So, I let you hire a cleaning service; I stopped driving myself around and dyeing my hair; I allowed you to post our ultrasounds all over your socials; I didn't say anything when you sent the cats away to your mom's…” His mouth is open in awe as you angrily go on. He's clearly racking his brain to find out what he said wrong. Him and his stupid pregnancy obsessions. “But this... This is where I draw the fucking line Jaebeom. If you stop making love to me because it creeps you out... Honest to God, I will murder you. I don't care what the baby hears. The doctor said it was safe. I want sex, I need sex. Give me sex, or I'll destroy you.”

“Honey,” Jaebeom bites his lips, struggling to conceal his amusement, “I wasn’t saying we should stop. It doesn't bother me like that...” His right palm rubs your lower back in repetition to ease you. “I was just wond–”

“I don't care what you wonder about,” you interrupt, still down, “just do me.”

Before Jaebeom can fully laugh at you flaring over nothing again, you're kissing him roughly, intended on getting your way. Wriggling under you to get to a better angle, he doesn't seem too affected, simply enjoying the hormonal rollercoaster ride. One of the actual perks of your pregnancy is being in the mood quickly and it's more than just your desire, it's physical too. Something that is undeniable when his hand finds its way between your legs. You're ready for him already, wet and messy. Though you rock into his palm briefly, there's only one thing on your mind right this instant. 

You don't want to wait any longer to feel him inside you. You use Jaebeom's shoulder as a fulcrum to position yourself, raising on your knees and he helps, holding his cock as you gradually sink down. Once you're sitting back on him on the couch, filled, you pause, dropping your forehead to his. Eye to eye, out of focus, Jaebeom pecks your lips tenderly. His hands caress your belly on their way to the side of your thighs. That's enough to make you soft all over again. The power that man holds over you knows no limit. Careful, you rise, rocking your hips forward to add friction before sliding back down. This lazy back and forth goes on for a while and every time you fall down and your ass meets his thighs with a clap, you feel like breaking. 

“Okay?” Jaebeom mumbles, using his strength to firmly guide you upwards. You're thankful for his help because you're heavy and tired. You nod, letting out a weird throaty sound when he fills you up once more.

Jaebeom chuckles, entertained by your acute senses and unusual reactions. Sliding on the large couch to lay, he makes sure you follow closely, riding him. From this position, he can take better control, raising his hips to slam into you. You coo when he does, hovering above to let him have his way. You're already too taken by so little. There's a gentle thud in your belly at the shift of position but Jaebeom doesn't seem to feel the baby stir, awakened by your unrest. Thank God, because the last thing you want right now is for him to stop or slow down. It's not something abnormal or new at all, but now that the baby's movements are getting more noticeable from the outside, you wouldn't be surprised if it messed up with Jaebeom's sexy groove. In the dark, he picks a swift pace, thrusting faster but lighter, making sure to stretch this moment for as long as you both can.

Yet, you're shaky and unfocused, unable to calm yourself. Way too fast, you come undone, overwhelmed by the friction and pleasure. Ecstatic, you drop on your hands, on all fours, as your intense orgasm washes through you. Aware you're peaking already, Jaebeom maintains his rhythm, breathlessly laughing at your shortage of stamina. Sure, he was right, pregnancy orgasms are amazing but they also come almost unannounced and are ridiculously exhausting.

Losing the smile, Jaebeom frowns in concentration, probably trying to finish too. After a whole minute, you're still being carried by your own paroxysm, core quavering when his hips halt altogether. Sighing deeply, he cums in spurts inside you, letting go probably more hastily than he would have wanted to. He's a team player. He knows you won't be able to handle him for long after oversensitivity hits you.

Afterwards, you both stay like that for a moment – as one – trying to repossess yourselves. Some days, it's like you're an entirely different person. Food doesn't taste the same, you yell at your caring husband over nothing and your orgasms are absurdly drawn-out. 

“Hey,” Jaebeom speaks up after an eternity and you take it as a cue to pull away, letting him fall out of you, “that was very quick. Are you alright, was it good?” Typical of him lately, being so overly concerned, you snort. Reaching for the tissue box on the coffee table, he offers them up so you can clean yourself. Still overpowered, you nod, laying back naked on the couch to do so.

What a sight it must be, a stranded whale in the middle of his living room.

Jaebeom doesn't seem to see that though. Transfixed, he positions himself to comfortably kiss and hold your heavy belly. His fingers linger, tracing patterns over the stretched skin. “What about you Shrimp?” He asks mouth pressed to the bump, tickling. “How are you doing?” Sure enough, the baby rolls, following the sound of his familiar reassuring voice. 

“We definitely woke her up”, you announce casually, grabbing one of his hands to position it better. Now that it's over, hopefully, he won't mind or get weirded out by that idea. “And you’ll need another nickname, we're both getting huge.”

“Sorry,” Jaebeom apologizes with adoration when there's a more obvious kick. To him, his baby girl's tumbling never gets old. To you neither, but it's a different sensation entirely. Whispering in confidence, he adds, “You'll always be a shrimp to me." At the words, you can't help the flutters you feel, not from the baby. When he looks up this time, Jaebeom doesn't seem as apprehensive of your reaction. You're on the magical post-coital cloud of happiness, together. “What?” If it could, your heart would physically expand from emotion at the sight, swelling with unconditional love. As an only answer, you run a hand through his locks and he cutely grins. “Shrimp, I think we're safe for now. I don't think mommy wants to murder daddy anymore...”

“Daddy needs to get over himself,” you dramatically roll your eyes, smiling, “he knows mommy loves him, no matter what…”

GOT7 | M.list

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

[bestillmyslashyheart]

The Red Name pt 4

part one || part two || part three

The bed was cold when Michael woke up. The sun was high in the sky and Alex was long gone. All that was left in the whole cabin were the sheets on the bed and Michael’s phone on Alex’s pillow. The notification light was blinking and Michael already didn’t care about what anyone had to say to him right now. 

He unlocked it anyway when he saw the new email icon. He never got emails. 

It was from Alex.

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

We should’ve talked. That was always our problem, if we’re honest. Too much sex and not enough talking.

I’m glad we didn’t though. You were right, we’d just make each other sad and angry and that’s not how I wanted to spend my last night with you. Because that’s what it was. Regardless of what happens on my deployment, we both know this thing between us is in the past and it’s time I gave up and moved on like you’ve managed to do. 

Over the last two years I wrote you a lot of emails. Basically whenever I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t I’d write an email. I’m not sure why I’m doing this now but I just sent all of them to you. You can read them or delete them, it’s up to you, I guess. 

I love you. That hasn’t changed and it never will. 

Goodbye Michael.

A

Michael blinked away the sudden tears that sprung to his eyes. For all that he’d shoved Alex away over the last few years and flaunted the fact that he could move on, Alex telling him goodbye broke his heart. Michael wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to this point. It felt like one thing after another just piled on until there was no hope left. He wanted to fix it, even when he’d been with Maria part of him had wanted to fix it, he just didn’t know how. And now it was too late.

Rereading the email, he spotted the part about new emails and quickly exited out of that one. And there they were. Michael scrolled down to find the oldest one but it was impossible to tell. They didn’t seem to be in any particular order so he just clicked one and then another and then another.

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I saw you at the Pony today. You looked like shit. Have you been sleeping? Eating? Or are you just existing on alcohol and acetone?

I hope it’s making you feel better because it’s not helping anyone. Not your sister, who really needs you right now by the way, not me, not Maria, and certainly not Max. 

I wish you’d let me help you.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You drive me crazy sometimes you know that? First, you want nothing to do with me or Project Shepherd. And now it’s all you care about. Well, Project Shepherd at least. You still don’t seem to want anything to do with me.

Am I suddenly that repulsive to you? Because of my father? Fuck him. Seriously, Guerin, fuck. him. Don’t let him do this to us.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You could’ve at least done me the courtesy of telling me you were dating Maria instead of letting me find out by walking in on you two.

Fuck you Michael

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You need to pull yourself together. Your sister is drowning and she needs you and you don’t even notice. Liz and I should not be the ones keeping her afloat. She needs her brother, dammit. 

If only I could get you to stay in the same room as me for longer than 2 seconds

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I can’t decide if you’re oblivious or stupid or just plain cruel

I get it, okay. You moved on. You’re happy. I’m happy you’re happy but I really don’t need a front row seat to you sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat okay? Would it kill you to cool it on the pda?

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Max is back. You weren’t there.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I’m drunk. I shouldn’t bother with this it’s not like you’re going to read it anyway but I’m drunk and I’m lonely and it’s my birthday

Ten years apart and you never missed my birthday but now that I’m back you can’t be bothered? I want to be mad at you but I’m too sad to be mad

What did I do wrong Michael? Why are you doing this?

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You ever throw something anywhere near the vicinity of Maria again and I swear to god I will knock you on your ass

Don’t touch her. Don’t even get close. I don’t give a shit how drunk you are

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

It’s the anniversary of Caulfield and I don’t want you to be alone but you won’t let me near you

I hope you told Maria what day it is or Isobel or someone. I hope you’re not alone.

I’m sorry

I’m so sorry Michael

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You look happy

I miss you

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I never thought of us as having an anniversary, not really, but if we had one it would be today

I was ready, Michael. I was fucking ready dammit. Why’d you have to pick then to finally be the one to walk away? I mean I know I deserved it after all the times I left you but your timing sucks.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I got my new posting. Also got new orders to deploy. I’m leaving Roswell and I don’t think I’m coming back this time

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You came by today. I’m pretty sure it's the first time you’ve been out here since you told me in no uncertain terms that we were done. You wanted more info on Project Shepherd, on the Alighting that Noah mentioned. You could barely look me in the eyes. It was like I was just a colleague and not even one you particularly liked that much and it hurt. 

I get that we’re never going to be together but why can’t we be friends? Is it really that impossible? We’re either fucking or not looking each other in the eye? No in between? That’s bullshit

Why do you get to decide everything? When do I get a say in this? What if I want more? Do you even care what I want?

Don’t answer that. It’s pretty fucking obvious you don’t.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I had lunch with Liz and Rosa and Maria today. It was awkward and painful. I’ve never hated you before but I think I hate you for fucking up my friendship with Maria. She was all I had for years and now it’s ruined because of you

Be happy with her. Make it worth it

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

It’s not your fault. Me and Maria I mean. We fucked that up all on our own and neither one of us have really tried to fix it. You played a part, yeah, but don’t blame yourself for this too. You put too much on yourself already, you shouldn’t add this to it

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You make a beautiful couple

Better than we ever did. Not that we were ever a couple. Not like you and Maria

We wouldn’t have worked right? That’s why you left? Because we would’ve crashed and burned?

Merry Christmas Michael

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

For someone who got angry every time I  mentioned the Air Force you really didn’t seem to care that I re-upped. I don’t know what to make of that. 

I’m going to protect you Michael, I promise. My father will never get his hands on you or your family ever again.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Why can’t I get over you? I’ve tried fucking other guys, dating other guys, it doesn’t matter. 

I’ve never been able to get over you. I don’t know why I thought now would be any different.

All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Full disclosure - I’ve had a lot to drink. Liek a lot 

Did you know that your people essentially mate for life? Yep. Turn 30 and the true essence of your heart will reveal itself on your skin and name the person you love most. It will stay there forever. Cant be cut off or inked over. Cant change neither. Once its there its there

Your turning 30 in a few months

I wont survive seeing her name on you i wont

I filed papers for a transfer today. Project Shepherd is basically dead and by the time the transfer comes through it will be really dead and i cant stay here anymore im not strong enough. I need to be not here when her name comes

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Its my name. Fucking hell Michael its MY name?? 

What the fuck have the last two years been if its mY FUCKING NAME?

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

It hurt before when i thought you’d truly moved on but this? Oh this takes the cake

You love me. More than LITERALLY anything. And you still dont care enough to be with me

This is…

You should’ve left me in Caulfield and just saved yourself

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

You left a birthday present in my car. Why?

Thank you

I love it

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Her name is Mara. 

She used to sing to the other prisoners when they were scared. She had such a beautiful voice. 

You won’t let me tell you about her but I think you should know. This was your mother, you should know who she was.

I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to find out the right way. I really am.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I saw you on the street today. You were outside the jewelry store.

I wish you both a long happy life together. You both deserve it.

A

There were more. So many more. Michael had to stop and pace himself or he’d start breaking things.

It took him weeks to get through all of them. Some made him cry, some made him smash every fragile thing in Max’s house (he owed him new windows), but some made him smile.

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I got a dog. Her name is Buffy. If anything happens to her I will kill everyone involved and then myself

Pics attached since I don’t know when I’ll see you.

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Wilson’s getting married, can you believe it? I would’ve bet good money he’d die a happy bachelor. It’ll be so good to see the squad again. He invited everyone, even O’Brien.

He’s making me wear a tux, though, no uniforms :(

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I think you’ve cursed me. I used to very happily not give a shit about football fuck you very much

(Eagles made the playoffs fuck yeah)

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

There’s this new prosthetic prototype the military wants to try out and somehow I landed on the shortlist of candidates to get it

It’s supposed to be so amazing you don’t even know. It’ll be waterproof! I can stand in the shower!

(its the little things sometimes)

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I’ve really fucking missed Rosa. I know you miss your brother and I’m sorry but I never really let myself process how much I missed her

I promise to do everything I can to bring Max back. I owe him one

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Rosa doesn’t like the jacket. She’s gotta go

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I’m going to LA Pride next week. I’d ask you to come with me but you seem a little busy passing out on the floor of the Pony every night

I’m taking Isobel instead

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

I’ve got this new project at work that’s actually really interesting. I keep staying late to work on it and so Project Shepherd is falling behind but fuck Michael I love it

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

There was a crazy meteor shower last night. You would’ve loved it

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

The sunsets out here are unreal. I’ve been in a few deserts and seen a few coasts but nothing, NOTHING, beats this view

Its beautiful

A

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

It’s cheating on the Wild Pony, I know, but if you go over to Dexter there’s a great little bar that does open mic night on Thursdays. 

It’s been a long time since I sang. I’ve missed it. You should come sometimes.

A

Michael missed out on a lot while he was with Maria. He never wanted to miss those moments again.

In the five weeks it took him to get through all of the emails, no one heard from Alex. He’d warned them he’d be out of touch but it was still jarring. Michael took to driving out to the cabin or bugging Rosa to let him play with Buffy just so he could feel close to Alex. 

A week after he finished Alex’s emails he started writing his own.

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

You’ve been gone six weeks. I miss you. I’m pretty sure I lost the right to say that but I don’t care. I do.

I read all of your emails

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I thought about responding to some of your emails individually but then I thought maybe just one would do it.

I’m sorry. I was a colossal jackass and you didn’t deserve any of it. I never should have blamed you for what your father did. You aren’t him, Alex.

There are only two people in my life that I trust to always be there: Isobel and you. Even when you walked away you always came back and I got used to that, I guess. When everything was spiraling out of control I needed someone to be angry at and I needed it to be someone who wouldn’t leave. Isobel was already going through hell so I picked you. I pushed you away as hard as I could and you stayed. You re-upped to protect me. You stayed in Roswell because you knew I needed you even though I refused to admit it. I put you through hell and you never said a word. Thank you. I should’ve said it a long time ago and I’m sorry I didn’t.

I’m sorry I finally pushed hard enough that you had to leave. Roswell’s your home and these people are your family. When you get back from your deployment you should come home and see them. I can leave if it’ll make it easier for you but you shouldn’t leave them just because I’m an ass.

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I think Liz is actually dating both Kyle and Max. I’m also pretty sure Max and Kyle are not dating each other. Sometimes though...how sure are you that Kyle is straight?

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I can’t decide if it’s too weird or not weird enough watching my sister and my ex girlfriend try to date. 

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

You said you didn’t love me. Why did you say that if you did? 

I don’t know that I would have done anything different but I’d like to think I’d have been more considerate about Maria had I known. I thought you were over me. You said you were.

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

It’s been three years since Caulfield and I’m alone. One of your emails mentioned that you didn’t want me to be alone but I am. I always am. No one understands. No one can possibly understand.

Kyle gave me a bottle of whiskey this morning. I’m trying to drink less but now that I’ve got a doctor’s seal of approval, I might just need to enjoy it.

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I left my mom to die for you. I don’t think I would’ve left for anyone else.

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I miss you. I think I’ve been missing you for years but you were right there so I didn’t realize it

Be safe. Come home

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I’m a little obsessed with my mark ngl

It’s in my own handwriting but I wish it was yours. So it would actually be a piece of you with me

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

It’s crazy. When you were here all I could think about when I saw you was your dad and your brothers and Caulfield. I know it’s not fair and it’s not right but I can’t control it

But now you’re not here. And I look around the cabin and all I see is you making breakfast or burning the popcorn that one night we tried to watch a movie and ended up making out instead. I can’t sleep at the Airstream without thinking of you. Did I ever tell you that you’re the only person I ever brought home? Every other person I ever hooked up I either went to their place or found somewhere else. But not you. You came home with me. 

Liz wanted a group outing to the drive in. But I said no. I can’t go there anymore. 

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

My eyes are burning. Too much naked sister 

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

First I see my sister having sex and now my brother’s asking me for gay sex tips

I can’t

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

When we broke up Maria accused me of being with her because I loved her less, because then she couldn’t hurt me. I thought she was crazy but now I think she had a point. I literally just walked in on her in bed with someone else (I’ve completely blocked out the memory of who it was) and it didn’t hurt. I’m just...happy for her. She smiles more these days than she has in a while

It's nothing like when I saw you on a date that one time and had the sudden urge to beat the guy into a bloody mess with my bare hands. It's a nice change of pace

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

It’s been four months since anyone’s heard from you. I hope you’re okay and just not allowed to contact anyone.

Please be okay Alex. I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re not

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

Some idiot decided to put in a record store on Main St. Who even buys records anymore?

It has open mic night almost every night though. You’d love it

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I seem to have moved into your cabin. Oops

The bed doesn't smell like you anymore :(

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re not here and I don’t even know if you’d want to see me if you were but let me just say this:

You’re an asshole and I love it

You care so much about people, about your family (the real one not the jackasses named Manes), and you give so much of yourself for other people I’m constantly in awe of you

You named your dog after a vampire slayer; what a dork (next one should be Faith)

You are the strongest person I know. I put you through hell and you’re still standing and you somehow still love me. I don’t understand but I can’t complain

I miss watching movies with you even if your constant commentary can be annoying as hell

I can’t eat omelets at restaurants anymore, you’ve ruined me for life

Your voice is breathtaking; you should never stop singing

I love you

Happy Valentine’s Day Alex

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

Please just tell me when you’re home so I know you’re safe

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

Rosa has a boyfriend. It’s weird. We can’t talk around him. Too many secrets.

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I broke the ship. Most of its still in the bunker but I scattered some pieces around town. The Airstream, Isobel’s, Max’s, the Crashdown, the Pony, other places too

The biggest piece is right here at the cabin. I needed it to be with you

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

Jenna’s back

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

Happy Birthday Alex

I’m sorry I missed one. I promise not to miss any ever again.

They probably don't have any good cake where you’re at so I’ll just have to take you out for some when you get home

M

From: m.guerin47@gmail.com

To: alex.manes@gmail.com

I’ve co-opted Buffy from Rosa. She’s not getting her back

M

Over six months after Alex left, Michael received his first new email.

From: alex.manes@gmail.com

To: m.guerin47@gmail.com

Subject: YOUR EYES ONLY

You’re unbelievable. Asshole

827 Willowbrook Cir #231

Marlow Heights, MD 20746

A

P.S. Don’t forget Buffy