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softboywriting · 6 years

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My Forever | Friends to Lovers Trope

Summary: You and Shawn have been best friends forever. When you see him in a new light after being away for a while you both realize how much you missed each other and how much more you mean to each other.

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Word Count: 3k

The day you get home from your grandma’s house- -where you had stayed for the last six months to help her out- you see this tall drink of water jogging down the street as you unpack your bags from the back of your car. He’s tall, like goddamn and he looks well fit from what you can see. Your eyes linger far longer than you mean to and your mom snaps you out of it when she asks where you wanted a particular basket of clothes when she took it in the house. By the time the guy gets close enough, he turns and goes up the street, away from you. You knew you had to find out who he was and where he lived because god damn. Boys like that didn’t live around there.

It seems your new crush passes your house everyday around 5pm, but he’s always on the other side of the street. After the first two days you decide to make a move. You get your leggings on and an old but cute tee, and you decide to take a walk. You plan on just so happening to intersect him, and to just so happen to strike up a conversation. With butterflies in your stomach, you head out the front door, praying to meet him today.

Unfortunately you’ve missed him. By the time you get outside and down your walkway, he’s jogging up the street, a few houses away. If you were going to catch up you would have to full sprint. That would look weird though. Running after a stranger, it’s kind of creepy. No one wants to be ran at. So you decide to just jog, keeping him in sight. A few blocks and you start to wear out, your stamina not what it once was. He gets a good lead on you and by the time he turns the corner into the cul-de-sac you’ve lost him. As soon as you make it to the entrance of the cul-de-sac you see the garage door close on your best friend Shawn’s house.

Shawn. Wait a minute. The guy you were following was about Shawn’s height, he even had the same dark messy curly hair. But Shawn wasn’t that big, he wasn’t that thick. No. No way. That guy was not Shawn. Shawn was a dork who wore glasses and had braces and had more interest in playing FIFA than running. You pull out your phone and scroll down to your messages with Shawn from last night. The two of you had been planning on meeting up on the weekend for your birthday and to catch up.

are you home?

Yeah why

you didnt move right??

No lol why??????

You stare at the phone and suddenly your heart feels like it’s in your throat and you suck your lips in, biting them and staring at the phone. Quickly you type out,

can you come outside?

Are you here?

Before you can respond the garage door comes to life, inching up and as it does so you can see Shawn’s tennis shoe covered feet, his legs, his shorts, his stomach...chest...face. It was Shawn. The guy who had been running by everyday looking like a god was your best fucking friend. “What the hell?” you laugh, walking forward and looking Shawn up and down. “Who are you? Where is my dorky nerd of a best friend?”

“I’m right here,” Shawn laughs, crossing his arms and looking you over. “I’ve just changed a few things. Got a little bigger, a little taller, a little stronger.” He lifts one arm up and flexes. It makes your heart stop for a few beats. Never in a million years did you think Shawn would look like this and makes you feel some type of way. You’d always liked Shawn, had a little crush on him even though he was your best friend that you grew up with, but it had never really gone farther than a little itty bitty crush.

“Yeah, you look like you ate my Shawn.” You walk around him, eyes raking over every inch of his body. He was always in shape, but not like...built. “You got contacts? Braces all gone?”

Shawn grins down at you and his teeth are perfect. Like they were made by the gods themselves. “I got lasik at the beginning of the summer, I thought I told you?”

“Do I look like you told me?” you laugh and circle your finger around your face. “Jesus Christ, you are a whole snack.” That makes him laugh, full on leaning against his Jeep and wheezing, laugh. He waves his hand as if to dismiss your comment. “No no, you’re a fucking god or someshit now Mendes.” You walk around in front of him, a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. “You’re one of them GQ boys now. How am I supposed to-”

Shawn’s laughter dies down quickly and he grabs your hand, making you almost jump out of your skin. “Where’s your bracelet?” he asks, fingers exploring your skin around your wrist. There’s a slight tan line where the friendship bracelet the two of you exchanged when you were ten used to sit. “Did you lose it?” he asks, eyes wrought with worry.

“I did,” you mumble guiltily. “It was an accident. I was swimming in the lake near my grandma’s place and when I came out it was gone.” You pull your hand away from his grasp and rub your arm nervously. “I tried to find it for a couple days but the water isn’t that clear.”

“Hey,” Shawn puts his fingers under your chin and lifts your head “it’s alright. It’s amazing we made them last nine years. One of them was bound to break off and get lost.” He holds up his wrist where his is still tied on, several pieces of the colorful braid are sticking out, frayed from the years of wear and tear. “It is pretty ratty now,” he mumbles, looping two fingers under the bracelet and tugging. It snaps off with a little effort.

“Shawn,” you gasp, hands going to the bracelet in his hand. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“But it’s mate is gone. We’ll get something better, something that will last longer.”

“Keep it,” you fold his fingers over the bracelet and he keeps them there. “Don’t throw it out.”

The two of you stare at each other for a moment. Eyes searching each others for some unknown words. Your hand curled over his much bigger one. He gives a small nod, agreeing to never get rid of it. But the moment is gone as soon as it came as Shawn smiles and says, “Wanna come in and play Mario Party?”

You push him into his Jeep and laugh. “There’s my nerd!”

Shawn comes at you, fingers going to your sides and tickling them and making you squeal. You jump and run toward the door you know goes to the kitchen. Shawn follows, hot on your heels tickling relentlessly until you’re screaming, nearly falling through the door as you push it open. He wraps his arm around your middle and walks you inside.

“I’m gonna go shower real fast, you get it set up okay?” Shawn says quickly, dropping a kiss on the top of your head before hurrying off to the bathroom.

You take a second, really taking in his kitchen. It seemed like it had been forever since you’d been in his house but it was the same as ever. You walk around the spacious kitchen, opening the old snack cupboard the two of you would raid once Shawn was tall enough to reach the doors. A smile spreads across your face as you remember the night his parents went to a party for his dad’s work and the two of you made yourselves sick on poptarts, pringles and oreos.

The sound of the shower snaps you out of memory lane and you remember you’re supposed to be starting up the Wii to play mario party. Grabbing a few snacks from the cupboard, you head for the stairs to the basement where the consoles were hooked up. It also happened to be Shawn’s bedroom, well, his bed was actually in a small room off to the side of the den down there but it was always Shawn’s space. The only time anyone came down was for family gatherings or to check laundry in the small area behind the stairs.

The den looked the same as it always had. Cozy and perfect. You kick off your shoes beside the stairs and walk across the plush carpet, wiggling your toes a bit as you set down the snacks. You sink into the huge plush sofa that you’d slept on countless times and let out a contented sigh. It felt so good to be back home again. Your moms would joke that the two of you had two houses growing up and it was true. You spent almost every day with Shawn in the summertime, and most days during school, but work and homework got in the way of spending time together and things became comfortably different.

“Did you get it set up?” Shawn asks from behind you and you jerk, turning to look over the back of the couch. He’s standing by his bedroom door with a towel around his waist, staring expectantly over at you. “It still works right?”

“I...uh...I haven’t tried yet?”

“Oh,” Shawn smiles softly. “Oh I see. You got the snacks first, good thinking. I suppose we might be down here a while.” His smile quickly turns to a smirk before he goes into his room to put on some clothes. His words send a flush across your cheeks and down your chest.

You get the Wii set up, finding the remotes in the same place they always were, and the game tucked neatly on the game shelf right where it had always been since Shawn got it. Within a minute you have everything set up to play and you’re pointing the wiimote at the TV to pick Toadette as your player.

Shawn appears, crawling over the back of the couch and settling right next to you. “I have pizza rolls and those little cheese filled pretzel bites if you want some.” He grabs the other wiimote and selects Yoshi as his player.

“I’m good for now, but we’ll see,” you keep your eyes on the screen as you pick a 50 turn game, knowing it would take hours on end to finish. Shawn makes a noise of approval as you select the Tycoon Town level. His arm comes around your shoulders and somehow it’s not as friendly as you remember. It’s...more.

______________________________________

Two hours and two plates of pizza rolls, four sodas and a couple bowls of popcorn later and you’re falling asleep tucked into Shawn’s side. It was turn forty finally and there was still ten whole turns left. The whole night had been riddled with teasing, taunting and suggestive comments. Shawn was the worst when it came to teasing you because it was just so easy. Every time a mini game required you to shake the remote vigorously he would make groaning noises and say, “Oh yeah, like that baby.” in the most ridiculously suggestive tone.

Every single time it would make you blush and you would smack his chest which in turn would get you the most adorable giggle. When the two of you would get paired up, you would groan because you were really bad at the mini games and being paired up meant you would probably lose for your team. But Shawn never saw it like that. He’d just squeeze your leg and tell you that he would win it for you, and he always did. The guy was insanely good at the mini games and it always left you in awe.

By turn 45 you were almost gone, eyes drooping, controller slipping from your hand. Shawn puts his hand into your hair and runs his finger through it. He doesn’t bother trying to wake you as you use him as a pillow. The music from the game plays in the background and you find your eyes closing for good, no longer peeking back open to see who’s turn it was.

When you wake up a while later you’re lying between Shawn’s legs with your head rested on his chest. His breathing is slow and he’s very warm. He must have fallen asleep too. As you try to move and sit up his arm on your back tightens and he shifts slightly, causing you to roll more into the back of the couch.

“Shawn,” you whisper, patting his chest. “Shawn I should go home.”

“Mmm no, stay with me,” he mumbles in a sleep heavy tone. “I missed you.”

Those three word send an ache through you that makes you press yourself closer to him. You grip his shirt, fingers curling into the soft cotton. You’d missed him too. Six months was a long time to be away. “I missed you too bub,” you whisper, voice breaking as your emotions get the best of you. His hand finds your hair and he holds your head against him.

“Don’t cry. It’s okay to miss each other. As long as we always come back to each other.” Shawn rests his free hand on his stomach with his pinky finger poked out. “Remember our promise?”

You nod, sniffing as you loop your small pinky with his. “We’ll always come back and never leave each other alone.”

Shawn hums, fingers flexing against your scalp. “No matter what changes, or how we change, we’re friends until the end.” He pulls his finger from yours and wipes the tears on your cheek. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“I don’t know if I should,” you mumble. How would staying the night look now that you were both nineteen? Not to mention there was obviously some tension between the two of you. Staying the night could be the worst thing ever or the best. It scared you to find out.

“Stop over thinking,” Shawn chuckles, patting your cheek. “Do you want to or not?”

“I do.”

“Then go back to sleep.”

______________________________________

You stayed the night, and the next night and the next. Your mom didn’t ask about it, she only gave you a sly little smile when you told her you’d been staying at Shawn’s. It was like everyone knew that you and Shawn would end up together someday. Even before the two of you knew. But moms liked to pretend to know everything, so they had to be right sometimes.

It’s Saturday morning and you wake up to find a little box on the pillow next to your head. Shawn was long gone, probably on his early morning run. You sit up and turn the flat square box around in your hands, debating on opening it now or waiting for Shawn. If he left it then he probably wanted you to open it when you woke up. Which meant it was definitely your birthday gift even though Shawn himself was more than enough of a gift. You shake it and it rattles a bit.

Curiosity gets the best of you and you open the lid to find a charm bracelet. It’s one of those Pandora style ones with the thick band that had removable beads with designs on them. You pick it up and pass your fingers over the beads delicately. There is one with a little paintbrush, one with a bike, a little tent, a music note, a tiara and an infinity symbol with a sapphire and an emerald in the loops. It’s beautiful and you reach for your phone to text Shawn but the second you get it he walks in.

“Good morning birthday girl,” he purrs, sinking onto the bed and crawling to lay on his side next to you. “I made breakfast.”

“This is really expensive,” you laugh, holding the bracelet out.

Shawn looks at it adoringly. “It was a little expensive, but I promised to replace the old bracelet you lost. This one is much better.” He takes it from you and touches each bead as he talks. “The paint brush is for your love of art. The bike is for when we first met when you fell and broke your leg in front of my house when we were six. The tent is for when we went to summer camp and tried to run away and lived in the woods together for three days. The music note is because we both love music and you’ve inspire me to write so many songs since I learned to play guitar.” He looks up at you and you can’t stop the tears streaming down your flushed cheeks. “The tiara is because you’re a princess, no matter what you say, I know you are.”

You let out a little chuckle at the princess bit. He had been calling you that since you were kids because he always wanted to be a knight that protected a princess. You just so happened to fit the bill but you didn’t mind because he was a very good knight and saved you from many snakes and beetles.

Shawn sits up and points to the last bead, the infinity symbol. “The sapphire because your favorite color is blue and the emerald because my favorite color is green...and the infinity symbol because you’re my forever.” He takes your wrist and clasps the bracelet around it carefully before hooking his pinky with yours. It’s then you notice a black leather braided bracelet around his wrist with the same infinity bead woven into the center.

“My forever,” you whisper, holding his pinky tight with yours.

Shawn leans in and tilts your chin up with his fingers as he kisses you softly. “Happy birthday princess.”

#stories #friends to lovers

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hamilton-one-shots · 6 years

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Hamilton High School AU 14

(I'll do my best to start answering asks soon, but I wish my mom would give us a heads up before taking us places so I could know to write instead of do nothing)

Not knowing that John didn't get to see his siblings everyday, Lafayette began to ask Alexander why he had to skip school to celebrate their birthday when Thomas tricked him into signing up for the play. Lafayette frowned, he knew his brother wasn't meant for the stage, and quickly had an idea. "Actually, sir, that isn't the problem. Alexander is busy almost everyday after school and wouldn't be able to be in the play I'd gladly take his place."

It wasn't his best lie, but Lafayette knew it would work. He wasn't the smartest student, but he was an outspoken one and teachers loved him. So, Eacker crossed out Alexander's name. "Alright. No problem."

Alexander didn't even get a chance to argue. Sure, he hated Jefferson, but sending in Laf instead?.. [U didnt hav 2 do tat, u no] He wrote to him.

Lafayette nodded. [I wanted to.] He didn't care that it meant having to spend time in the same building as Jefferson for that much longer. Alexander was being targeted and he wasn't going to let it work. [You'd do it for me.]

Alexander frowned and faced forward, noticing Jefferson out of the corner of his eye staring at his notebook. He slammed it shut and held it to his chest defensively. That wasn't just a notebook to Alexander. He'd had it for years and it was where he did all of his doodling and wrote some of his most private thoughts, ever since he was a kid. He'd brought it with him from Nevis all those years ago.

At the end of the class, Thomas looked expectantly at Alexander. "I still haven't gotten that thank you, Lexi."

Alexander shuddered and ignored him, leaving the room with Lafayette. "I really wish John didn't have to go tomorrow..."

"I know... I can tell you really need him right now..."

Alexander nodded, his brother sighing.

"Well... At least you're not going to be alone. You still have me and Herc. We're not John, but you're not alone."

Alexander nodded. "Thanks..."

"I'll see you later." Lafayette went into his next class, one where he had to deal with Jefferson alone.

Alexander waved and silently wished him luck, then checked his phone as it dinged, smiling as he saw a text from John, but frowning a bit at the message.

[Hey, baby <3 Sorry, but I forgot to remind you to take your medicine this morning.] John was the only reason that he'd been taking his pills so regularly and he knew it. [If you take it now, I'll give you a surprise.]

John really could make Alexander smile, no matter what. [Wut kind of supris?]

[You'll see]

Alexander chuckled and took a bottle of water and his pills out from his backpack, staring down at them for a few seconds before popping a pill out of the capsule and swallowing it as fast as humanly possible, chasing it down with a flood of water. He hated that stupid pill. He was too conscious of the effects it had on his brain to not to. Only a second after he put the bottles back in his backpack, John appeared at his side, his sour expression turning into a bright smile.

"Hey, baby. I came to walk you to class." John kissed his cheek and walked with him, though it was a short distance away. Once they reached his classroom, John turned Alexander around and pinned his back against the wall, then kissed him passionately. When he pulled away, a playful grin spread across his face and he kissed Alexander's nose. "I hope you enjoyed your surprise. I'll see you at lunch." He let him go and began walking towards his own class, Alexander watching him all the way down the hall. Once he reached the end, John turned and blew him a kiss.

Alexander felt like he was going to melt into a pile of lovey dovey goop. He wobbled into class and plopped down in a seat next to Herc. After a few minutes, he finally floated back into the real world.

"Alex?"

Apparently, Herc had been trying to contact him the whole time.

"Wha..?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just... I saw John before class." After a few seconds, he began smirking. "Are you okay?" he shot back, referencing the many hickeys that decorated his neck like freckles decorated John's skin.

Hercules blushed and shifted his scarf a bit. "Is it that obvious?.."

"No, not that obvious. Thank you for looking after Laf."

For the first time in a long time, Alexander made Hercules smile.

The rest of the class didn't go so well for him, though. Alexander was uncharacteristically quiet, that was the first thing Hercules noticed. The next thing he saw was the expression on Alexander's face, the stress that was eating at him. It wasn't good. So, he did what made the most sense and texted John.

[Hey, whats up with Alex? He's all stressed and dazed.]

John wasn't paying attention in class anyways, surprise surprise, so he texted back. [Idk, it may be Jefferson. He was acting all weird with him first period.] He would've been furious if he found out that Jefferson was flirting with Alexander after what he did to him, not that he would know.

[Makes sense...] Hercules put his phone away and turned to Alexander. "You don't have to tell me anything. Just know that me and Laf and John are here to listen when you need it."

"I need to talk to John.." Alexander whined quietly. His mind was flooded with worries. If he wasn't worrying about how Jefferson was treating him, he was worried about how Laf was being treated. Worried about taking his medication. Worried about his anger and wanting to fight. Worried about hurting John.

Lafayette had his own worries. He sat across the room from Thomas, despite the fact that he was purposely sitting where he always sat, and tried his best to ignore him.

But Thomas wasn't blind. He knew that Lafayette was avoiding him. When there was only a few minutes left in class, the teacher let everyone have free time, so he got up and sat down right beside Lafayette, trapping him. "Oh, come on. If we're going to be in that play together, we might as well try to get along. Besides," he grinned, "you look great in that skirt."

Lafayette was not going to be so easily shaken. He took out his notebook and paid attention to the lesson, not without responding to Jefferson's taunting. "I have absolutely no interest in trying to get along with the worst excuse of a man I've ever met. Now, I would appreciate it if you moved your eyes from my legs and onto another seat because I'm not going to deal with your pathetic excuse for flirting this whole time."

Thomas tutted. "I'm glad to see your attitude hasn't changed, princess," he grumbled, referencing their last meeting at Herc's shop. "Whatever. I'm not after you anymore, anyways. Alexander, on the other hand... It would've been interesting being in that play with him. And it would've been a good way for him to get rid of all of that... energy." He toyed with that last word, hiding the true meaning behind it.

Oh, hell no. Thomas could say all he wanted to Lafayette, but there was no way that he was going to let him anywhere near his brother. Lafayette was far too tempted to grab Jefferson by the collar and shout at him until he got it through his thick skull that Alexander was too good for him, but he was above that. Besides, he had a reputation to maintain in the classroom. "I'm glad to hear I was able to shake off a parasite like you, but I do hope you don't mean my brother. You repulse him just as much as you do me and he is in a relationship with the person who could easily kick your ass." He shrugged and put his notebook away, pulling out a tube of lipgloss and touching up the layer that he was already wearing to show Jefferson that he didn't affect him. "Whoever you're after, I wish them the best of luck because with your tasteless comments and your so called 'flirting', they are going to need it."

For once, Thomas felt himself getting frustrated. But, no matter. Two could play at that game, but Thomas knew he was better. "What's the matter, Laf? Got your panties in a twist because someone else is getting the attention for once? Looking at you, you probably knew that your brother would steal the spotlight." Thomas had a talent for knowing exactly how to tear someone down. "I can tell you feel threatened by the way you're going around in that skirt, showing off your legs like some two bit whore." He glanced at Laf's increasingly distressed face. "I bet you put out on the first date. No wonder Mulligan worked to beat me to you. We all know you're an easy fuck." He got up and went to the teacher's desk, getting a pass and leaving to the bathroom. This was an intricate plan and this wasn't even the most fun part. In order to get to the core of his plan, he needed to cause a disturbance between the rest.

Lafayette felt his heart drop and felt his whole body shake, emotions flashing through him. The most prominent one, though, was anger. He was angry at Thomas for saying that about him, he was angry at him for accusing Hercules of such a repulsive thing. But he was also mad at himself. Because Thomas was right. The same night that Hercules had asked him out, Lafayette had 'put out' as Jefferson had put it.

As soon as the bell rang, Lafayette went to the bathroom, glad to see that Jefferson wasn't there, and locked himself in a stall, bawling his eyes out. He had his own reservations with sex when it came to anyone he didn't love and trust as much as Hercules, but Jefferson's words hit him hard. He didn't even realize that a few minutes had passed until someone came into the bathroom, calling his name.

"Laf?.. Is that you?"

Laf got up and got out of the stall, looking at John as he stood there, his eyes red and puffy from crying.

"Oh, Laf... What happened?.."

He didn't answer, but let himself fall into John's open arms and cried on his shoulder, not caring how awkward it was with the height difference.

John let him cry for a minute before looking at him. "I need a name."

"Jefferson.." he sniffled. "He said I was a whore and guessed that Herc and I had sex early in our relationship. He said I'm easy.."

John frowned and looked at Lafayette sternly. "Listen to me, you are not easy, do you understand me? You love Hercules and Herc loves you and you know it. He just wants to get under your skin because he's just mad that someone as beautiful as you rejected him, but you won't let that happen because you're a strong man, do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." Lafayette nodded and stood up straight up, wiping his eyes and fixing his hair.

"That's my boy." John smiled and walked with him to the cafeteria.

Alexander looked down at his untouched sandwich. John was late. John was never late.

"Are you going to eat that or set it on fire?" Hercules joked, surprised when Alexander actually pushed the sandwich in his direction. He shook his head and pushed it back.

"Look who I found." John and Laf sat with their boyfriends.

Alexander's eyes lit up and he scooted a bit closer to John, though nobody could deny that something seemed off there. Lafayette's eyes were still a bit puffy and his eyes a bit pink. He bit his tongue. He hadn't seen Lafayette cry in years.

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #john laurens #alexander hamilton #lams #thomas jefferson #lafayette #hercules mulligan #mullette #14 #chapter 14

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yenni19 · 3 years

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Chapter 18

The next few days Sarutobi teaches Mariana to cook, its the day of the gathering and Sarutobi is at Mariana's house overseeing her cooking skills

Sarutobi(tasting her dishes): wow...im impressed...you did very well Mariana...so how are the desserts coming along?

Mariana: i have a cake in the oven and one already finished...do you want to help me decorate it?

Sarutobi: sure let me lend a hand

They finish decorating the cake, suddenly Ms Angelo comes in, she sees Mariana in the kitchen

Sabrina: you know how i feel about....

Sarutobi(greeting her): hi I'm Sarutobi Akamaris....

Sabrina(irritated): I know who you are....mr playboy....your Akamaris lover aren't you?

Sarutobi(irrtiated and calm): no ms Angelo...I'm Akamari's younger brother

Sabrina(scoffs): you two look nothing alike...

Sarutobi(taking out his phone): here let me show you (shows her a picture) this is me Akamari and my father at a picnic four years ago....we are half siblings from different mothers

Sabrina: I knew she was adopted...but i never knew her father was Kawaki Madra....the famous villan of terror who almost destroyed the village twenty years ago

Sarutobi(confused): the famous villan?

Sabrina: oh you must not of known....see I have a cousin living there where your family resides....she had came from there when the fight started and came to stay with us here along with many refugees who fled from the terror of the famous villan....the only one who stopped him was a man named Boruto Uzumaki.....it was said many lost thier lives so thats why your father is in debted to the ninth hokage....he will spend his life helping repair what he destroyed....until he dies....its also to make sure he wont turn on the village ever again

Sarutobi: why didnt he tell me this...why hide it...and from me of all people?

Sabrina: some parents just want to protect thier kids from ever finding out the truth....but its best to come clean and not hide a lie that serious

Mariana: I'm sorry Sarutobi....my mother is a straight forward person....(glaring at her mother) sometimes too honest

Sarutobi: its ok...should we continue to decorate the second cake

Mariana: sure let me help you ok

They finish decorating the second cake....he helps her set up the table and sets up the appatizers and desserts along with the tea and cookies...her mother's guests arrive and are amazed at how beautiful the decorated table along with the food looks

Amara: omg this looks amazing

Evany: its wonderful like a fairy tale

Mara: its different from your other gatherings...who did all this?

Sabrina: my beloved daughter and her new friend Sarutobi

They look in Mariana's and Sarutobi's direction....they wave and exuse themselves.

Sarutobi: well im heading home...

Mariana(gently grabbing his arm): would you like to go with me to the Art Museum Sarutobi?

Sarutobi(smiling): sure...but is it close by?

Mariana: dont worry well be there and back in no time....I promise you'll have fun

Sarutobi: I would love to go....but how would we get there?

Mariana(holding some keys): we'll take my moms car...dont worry I know how to drive

They head into the city, they stop at a big two story building, they get out of the car and head inside

Sarutobi: its bigger than the art gallery we have back home...and looks more artistic

Mariana: yeah my mom owns this place....she's the art director here...I come by when it's moms day off....come on theres a piece I want to show you

They go to the second floor of the Art Gallery, Sarutobi stops in his tracks, he is shocked when he sees the the piece

Sarutobi: is that love...

Mariana(finishing his sentence): love in a moment....its one I cherish most....since my dad dedicated it to my mom....but they are divorced...because my dad cheated on her

Sarutobi: wait....are you saying your dad is the famous Michale Angelo....your his daughter?

Mariana: yeah....but i dont see him anymore...he left us when my mom got the guts to tell him to go to hell....I kind of get it though she felt like she was a stranger to her husband.....while Souske made her feel whole

Sarutobi(shocked): wait...Akamari's dad had an affair.....with your mom?

Mariana(feeling guilty): oh shit....please dont say anything to her....I thought you knew....dont mention the affair to Akamari....please Sarutobi dont say a word to this....I'm no gossip girl....but keep it between me and you!

Sarutobi: ok I get it....but one question....is Samari the product of that affair....because Akamari's sister looks just like her

Mariana: yes she is....but Samari doesn't know because Souske never told her....when my mom found out she was terrified of what my dad would do....when my dad found out he told her to give that child to her father and to act like it never happened....she objected until my father said he will get rid of her and make sure my mother never saw Samari again....so she had no choice but to tell Souske to get lost and that he'll be able to keep his daughter but that this was the last time they would see eachother....Souske was devastated....and so was my mother....they really loved eachother....but at the time my dad owned everything of my mothers.....and she had no one to help her....so she stopped seeing Souske and got enough evidence on my dad to finally divorce him and keep the gallery that was originally my grandparents

Sarutobi: wow....what a rollercoaster...is that why Akamari was put in her grandparents care for two years?

Mariana: yeah...Souske needed to get it together....and Akamari was showing signs of resentment toward her sister and father...so he thought it would be best for her to be close to the Uzumakis and Uchihas so Akamari wouldnt feel left out....I still remember when she came back two years ago....she looked happier and more calmer than before....she even told me she liked this purple eyed boy with purple hair and that this boy was important to her because it reminded her how she was....and made sure he was feeling loved and accepted by those around him....that she thought it was admirable that he actually loved her eventhough they couldn't be together......

Sarutobi(hugging her): thank you Mariana....you just comfirmed what i wanted to hear from her...thank you (asking) do you think i can get a ride home now?

Mariana: sure Sarutobi....lets go back before i get in trouble for delaying too long with my moms car

Sarutobi: you didnt ask did you?

Mariana: No I did not

Mariana takes Sarutobi home, he heads inside the house where Izuke was waiting for him

Izuke(noticing): someone is in a good mood...had fun wherever you were I presume

Sarutobi(smiling): yeah i did....does Akamari come home tommorrow?

Izuke: yes why do you ask?

Sarutobi (smiling): theres a present I've been meaning to give her since her birthday and i know she's gonna love it

Izuke: ok then...wash up im cooking dinner tonight....oh I amlost forgot Omari my younger brother is...

By the time he looked up Sarutobi was already in his room, the next day Sarutobi was awake and downstairs, but to his surprise Akamari was not alone but with a man taller than Sarutobi with red hair and green eyes patiently waiting for his breakfast

Omari: you done yet kitten wiskers...i cant wait to try that omlet you prepared for me

Akamari(cooking): almost (grabs a plate and hands it to Omari) here omlet and baccon strips just how you like it

Omari: thanks I knew I can count on you (notices Sarutobi) hey babe who's the kid with the purple hair?

Akamari (turning around): oh Sarutobi your up...this is Jerico's younger son Omari Myzuki

Sarutobi (irritated as he shakes his hand): hi Sarutobi Madra Akamari's half brother

Omari(smiling): hi Omari Myzuki.....Akamari's love interest....

Akamari (smaking his head): you better cut it out...I would never date an arrogant brat like you...its bad enough you act like we are a couple and I puch you in public.... so should I tell Mariana that you like her....everytime you see her you mumble like an idiot?

Omari (blushing and angry): you better not threaten me I'm more capable of telling her myself

Sarutobi(laughing): you two act more like siblings....it's funny to watch

Suddely theres a knock at the door Sarutobi opens it's Mariana

Sarutobi(smiling): hey Mariana how your morning...mines a bit interesting at the moment

Mariana: can i come in?

Sarutobi(letting her inside): sure you are more than welcome to

She comes inside, when she reaches the kitchen she says her greetings, as soon as Omari sees her he turns red

Omari(having touble speaking): hi....Mariana....you look cute....I mean hello...I mean hello Mariana

Mariana(blushing): hi Omari....good morning...you look well dressed today

Omari: you look beautiful....I mean you look well dressed too....I'm sorry I'm just nervous

Mariana: its ok if you are i get nervous too (to Sarutobi) do you want to go with me to a poetry slam downtown?

Sarutobi: I would like to but...

Mariana: its ok I'll go on my own

Sarutobi(grabbing Omari's arm): but he would love to accompany you

Omari(blushing red and confused): I would...I mean I really would love to be with you....I mean sure I'll accompany you

Mariana(grabbing his hand): ok then lets go Omari...

Omari(red as a tomato): ok...i guess I would love you.....I mean would love to

Suddenly Omari passes out on the floor

Mariana(shocked): Omari.....Omari are you ok...Omari....Omari!

Akamari(suggesting): would you like to stay over today and spend time with Omari Mariana?

Mariana(blushing): ok yeah...i can go to the poetry slam some other time anyway....I really wanted to ask Omari to go with me...because I like him....he has a sense of humor

Akamari: im glad you said that...because he likes you too

Mariana(excited): really....he does....I thought he just got nervous because he wasnt use to talking to girls

Akamari: trust me he talks to girls....but they are not someone special that he likes...and you just witnessed him mumble like an idiot right in front of you

Sarutobi(carrying Omari from the kitchen to the living room): well let me lay him down at the couch (he places him down) so how about breakfast

Mariana: ok that would be great

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mylifejourneled · 4 years

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2020 has been one hell of a year and it ain’t even over.

So I left off at my 20th birthday... this year could not have gone more differently than what I anticipated. I dont even know where to begin. I guess we’ll talk about the larger events huh.

February was a good month. Spent it around friends and in preperation for my big 20th jam. Jess and I decided to throw a joint birthday party and it was hand down the best idea ever. I think it may have been my favourite birthday party yet. I got way too fuckin drunk lol. Started blacking out around midnight but my friends managed to get me to the garage where jess and I cut our cake in front of everyone. Nights like those are important you know? Surrounded by people you love and people that love you. Its nice lol. And lets be real, I’m full of myself so having a night where everyones focused on me was great lmfao.

Then came march... March 4th Nick and I confessed our feelings for one another. We were on facetime at like 4 am when I decided to bring up “honesty hour.” I asked pressing questions about who crushes and shit and somehow it led to him admitting that I was who he was into. I quickly told him that I feel the same way. It was an precious innocent moment you know? One where you don’t know how you got there or where you’re going but it just feels right to have been honest. Five days later we went on our first date. We went down to the falls where he took me down to a bench facing the water. He got down on one knee and pulled out a ring pop (lol) and asked me to be his girlfriend. Embarrassed, I asked him to get the fuck back up, but quickly said yes as well. we then walked around, back up Clifton Hill. Spent a moment dancing on the street as Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran played in the background. We had dinner at Kelseys. That was that. The start of one the most confusing relationships I’ve had till date.

March also brought the news of someone who drank bat soup in china and caught a mutated virus... little did we know that news would change the way the whole world operated. The virus began to travel quickly, globally. Before we knew it, we were going into to lockdown. Schools closed, everything went online. Masks became mandatory in public. Seeing people other than those in your inner circle became inappropriate.

My roommates and I spent April in a weird routine of waking up after noon, drinking coffee on our back steps, and playing card games till the sun set. By the end of april, everyone was gone. All that was left was Posty and I. Nick would come down a couple times a week which was really nice. Our relationship continued to grow. We were in our own little bubble because of the pandemic. The only people that knew we were even together were those that were closest to us. It was just us.

Lol my attention span is making this all so hard to write.

May/ june ish I spent at home with my parents. It was horrendous. Having been outside of that household for a couple years now, made it all unbearable. I spent every night sleepin in mums room with her. Dad was drunk all day every day. It was suffocating to say the least. Lots of crying. Lots of screaming. Eventually, dad hit mom with a hammer outside and the neighbours called the cops. He got arrested and was told to not come anywhere near mum for months until his trial. We went to the police station, gave a statement and everything. Of course, though, he was back the next day. Thats when I lost my shit. I needed to get the fuck out of there. So I did. Mom dropped me off to st.kitts soon after.

I spent the next couple of months of the summer here. At peace. Hung out with nick quite a bit. We did all sorts of cute shit together. Hikes, dinners, lunches, site seeing... all that jazz. I would hang out with the 111 girls and have a blast. my roomates came down a couple of times and we had good times. Gurleen and friends from home came down and we had a blast too.

August was pretty chill as far as I can remember. The end of August was weird though. I went to a cottage for like 5 days with nick and his cousins. Long story short: I did not fit in. From my perspective, I was getting along with his cousins really well but nick and his bestfriend were giving me the weirdest vibes. Nick and I fought a few times for the first time ever. Tears were shed. On our drive back we had a moment where he said he didnt know if I fit into his life and I was almost positive we were going to break up right there and then. We pulled up somewhere random and talked a lot about what was up.

lol we’ll continue at some point...

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freelytinystudentblog-blog · 6 years

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Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

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spnife · 7 years

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91 question tag

Tagged by @vanillabeanniall and then @uswntinharmony

More below the cut bc that’s how I roll

the last –

1. drink: Arizona Tea

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my mom - she sent me two climbing videos. Or I sent them to me, from her phone

4. song i listened to: What a feeling, but I was asleep (i checked the music app just now), so the last song I remember hearing is Ray of Light by Madonna

5. time you cried: wednesday. First day of school was today so it was some stress

have you ever – 6. dated someone twice: yeah

7. been cheated on: yeah. I became friends with the guy though. Similar tastes I guess??? (( Actually I blocked him on snapchat last year bc he was talking some bs on his story but in eigth grade he wasn’t awful)) She lied abt it though and then talked to me two years later and still lied like okay

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no ragrets

9. lost someone special: not really

10. been depressed: fuck hell yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no. I had like a sip of beer on a trip but it was just to mess with a dude while he was in the porta potty

list 3 favorite colors – 12. light blue

13. orangish pink

14. dark purple

in the last year have you – 15. made new friends: heck yeah. I switched schools and found a really good group of people there already. It’s been alright

16. fallen out of love: not in the last year. gotta be in love first

17. laughed until you cried: probably but I don’t remember rn

18. found out someone was talking about you: I think? I found out parents were saying nice things about me. Mean wise maybe? I’m not really sure. Probably

19. met someone who changed you: at least one. a teacher last year

20. found out who your true friends were: i think?

more – 21. kissed someone on your facebook? alas, i do not have a facebook

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? see 21

23. do you have any pets? A super sweet black lab named FeeBee, a kitten named Mulder and a cat named Milo, and a hedgehog named Wembly

24. do you want to change your name? i like my name. My last name bothers me sometimes bc dad stuff but it’s gotten better

25. what did you do on your last birthday? I had a chill day at school, got a nice car, got a card from all of the kids on the climbing team. One of them said “Wow Coach Ella, you only have two more years til you can drink,” like i’m sorry kid I’m only 16

26. what time did you wake up? 7. first day of school

27. what were you doing at midnight? crying and putting school stuff in my backpack and watching VEEP

28. name something you can’t wait for: to keep getting better at climbing, the Harry Styles concert on oct 11, my birthday on oct 13 bc it should be fun and I hope I’ll get another card from the climbing team bc they’re all lovely

29. when was the last time you saw your mother? today

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? i want to know that I’ll be able to be happy

31. what are you listening to right now? watching Raising Hope

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yep

33. something that is getting on your nerves? I keep getting anxiety while I’m at climbing practice and that’s one of my most comfortable places. it feels like im going downhill with climbing even though I know im getting better

34. most visited site: netflix

school – 35. elementary: i loved my elementary school. every teacher i had was amazing, small school in austin and a good community and i still talk to my friends from there. so when i moved to the new school in fifth grade and depression was already showing up, the differences made it literally hell. it was awful. i didnt like my teachers and i didnt know people

36. middle: 6th grade was hell, 7th grade was even fuckin worse, 8th was still pretty bad. All the worst years of my life so far, and tbh it’s gonna be hard to top them

37. high: better than middle school but thats a really fucking low bar. like incredibly low.

38. college: planning for ACC for two years to get base courses, dream school UT in an engineering major. I love the school and the program there, but I worry if I could barely get through middle school, how tf am I supposed to survive college. Also it didn’t feel great when I was talking to a friend and I was like “yeah ut is tbh my dream school, if I can get in” and she was like “oh that’s one my last choice colleges” like fucking okay love you thanks for telling me that makes me feel real good about my intelligence and how you view me

me – 39. hair color: brown

40. long or short hair? shoulder length

41. do you have a crush on someone? yep. according to a friend i am “so gone for this girl” but um. oka y what if she doesn’t like me? I feel good around her though and she likes being around me and we work well together I think. She’s lovely and I wouldn’t want to make things weird by asking her out if I don’t know she feels that way too.

42. what do you like about yourself? I am able to figure things out and I work with kids really well. I’ve also been getting better at climbing again so I’m proud of myself for that

43. piercings? just my ears

44. blood type: lol yeah like i know?

45. nickname: ellallalala is something I’m getting from people at the new school, and I’ve had some climbing nicknames over the years but Coachella is sticking. I coach and my name is Ella it’s great

46. relationship status: nope

47. zodiac sign: libra

48. pronouns: she/her

49. favorite tv show(s): always sunny, parks and rec, my name is earl, curious george

50. tattoos: soon

51. right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? right

first – 52. surgery: i had one on my pelvis in 2013? i was in preschool and it was for this weird group of veins on the side of my leg. We’d always called it a birthmark and after the surgery the scar looked like a sunset over water but the sun is purple (still looks like that it’s rad) and the first time someone showed me a birthmark i was like??? Um no thats just a little dark bit of skin?? my birthmark is purple what is this shit

53. piercing: ears

54. sport: rock climbing. found it early and still love it

55. vacation: no idea

56. pair of trainers: first i remember are a PAIR OF DORA LIGHT UP SHOES

current – 57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: arizona tea

59. i’m about to: finish my arizona tea

60. listening to: the episode ended so me typing and the clock my great grandmother gave is

future – 61. waiting for: me to feel alright

62. want: to like what i’m doing and to know i’m able to be happy doing it. I wish I could just skip to being married with kids and a dog and everything.

63. married: oh for sure

64. career: astronaut has always been my dream career but with this level of anxiety it’s probably a no go. I am not over it. I’m def gonna cry abt it in a couple of minutes bc thats how it goes, ya know. The last astronaut I talked to though said “the biggest disqualifier is not applying” so i’m still going to try my hardest. I also love engineering and physics and space and science and education and would love to be a librarian, so we’ll see

your type –   65. hugs or kisses? depends

66. lips or eyes? eyes, i guess. There’s more character there

67. shorter or taller? in my head i’m always like oh taller but really it doesn’t matter. as long as i can be little spoon im good to go

68. older or younger? doesn’t matter

69. nice arms or nice stomach? tummies are cute i guess.

70. sensitive or loud? i don’t know

71. hook-up or relationship? right now relationship and at some point relationship but ask me a couple months ago and it would have been different

72. troublemaker or hesitant? both. troublemaker with a lot of decisions but in fun ways, but hesitant when it comes to talking to new people that i want to be good friends with. and asking people out

73. kissed a stranger? yep. on a bet

74. drank hard liquor? had some jack daniels mixed with coffee and it tasted like cinnamon toast crunch

75. lost contact lenses/glasses? my glasses always turn up

76. turned someone down? yeah. accidentally on a few though lol. As i had a crush on someone i went out with for a little while last yeah legit three other people liked me and i guess im oblivious bc i had no fucking idea

77. sex on first date? depends

78. broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so

79. had your heart broken? yes but in a friendship way along with the relationship. it goes back to the you should kill yourself stuff

80. been arrested? nope

81. cried when someone died? no one i’ve known closely has died. My great-great grandmother died when i was fiveish but she was really old. There have been a few suicides at my old school (i switched 2 months before end of last year) and those hit hard, just knowing that there are so many people here dealing with that stuff and me relating to it. I didn’t know the people well but we’d spoken and I knew them some, but I had some friends who were much closer and really affected

82. fallen for a friend? yeah

do you believe in – 83. yourself? i try

84. miracles? shit happens, and sometimes it’s good

85. love at first sight? who am i to say tbh

86. santa claus? no

87. kiss on first date? if i like them

88. angels? no

other – 89. current best friend’s name: skip

90. eye color: hazel

91. favorite movie: i dont know im tired and want to cry sort of so maybe i shouldnt think about this stuff as much when im already stressed im going to go drink more tea and eat some soup

Anway

I’m tagging anyone who reads this far. gotcha

#about me #mine

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your f*cking life.

warning: this is a VERY long story with few updates and TL:DR at the end.

BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her aggression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...

Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there weren't dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my Christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.

She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the Lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.

I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldn't make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made a lot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...

She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled a lot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.

There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.

The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.

So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.

Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her Lipton.

Updates:

1) I am psychologically not in the position to take care of my younger siblings or take on a parental role. I came very close to suicide 2 years ago and im just trying to work on my alcohol problem and other habits that keep me in a cycle of instability. No I haven't been to any programs or therapy, I don't think it will help me in regards to my nearly constant apathy and etc.

2) My 2 youngest siblings weren't really bothered much. It was mostly my little sister after I left who got beatings but luckily it wasn't anything near the level I had to deal with.

3) Im also incapable of taking custody because I don't have an apartment anymore due to bad decisions I made while drinking recently. So I'm back to homeless but I crash with a friend once in a awhile. I am very well aware I am an influence on my younger siblings and I'm trying to stay consistent with doing everything I can to be a better and more stable person for them so that maybe I can finally build a real relationship with someone in my family. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps wishing me more success.

4) Aside from my little siblings, I have zero contact with anyone else in my family. And even then, its been very rare because I had to avoid my mother to see them and didn't want her knowing i kept in contact (Meeting my little sister after school, facetime, etc). The rest of my family were well aware of what she did and distanced themselves. I don't plan on reaching out to them as im not good at maintaining relationships with mostly anyone anyways.

TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.

(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)

#pro revenge #by howbout_that_lipton #prorevenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story

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goodknightz · 7 years

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Get to know me better! :D

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Requested by:@mewringo13

Uh... I dont really have anyone to tag... so I’m tagging the majority of my followers x) : @dancemuffndance @kyushaenigma @cpurubyheart @katelynfeliciano @camspazz @goblinneko @angeldrinksgreentea-blog @forsythefrontier @megan-elith @raygirlforeverbe @mxduki @sky-aniu @winterwholocks-superchildren

Ready? Set? Go!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Iced Tea. 2. Phone call: Chinese Take Out x) 3. Text message: My boss asking me to go in early Dx 4. Song you listened to: Schmoyoho’s Love is Like Drugs 5. Time you cried: Umm... I legit can’t remember. I think last time I really cried hard was when my old dog passed away. HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: Not really 9. Lost someone special: Too many ;~; 10. Been depressed : An unbelievable amount of times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only once. I drank way too much when I was venting with my brother. I think I drank half a bottle of tequila by myself. x(((

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blood Red, Royal Blue, Electric Green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I’ve made a couple 16. Fallen out of love: Yeah Dx. But it was my fault for falling in love so easy to begin with. 17. Laughed until you cried: Hmm, I tend to do that a lot when watching videos with friends xD. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Many times at work. They think they’re being so quiet >.> 19. Met someone who changed you : For sure. Any new friend I make changes me, if just a bit ♥ 20. Found out who your friends are: I’ve always known who my friends are. Anyone who i feel is just playing me I just stop talking to. I don’t play around. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah, just one

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The majority of my list. I usually dont add people I dont know unless they know my family or friends to begin with. 23. Do you have any pets: A 1 year old Shi-Tzu and a 30+ year old land Turtle. 24. Do you want to change your name: No. Personally I feel your parents gave your original name out of love. Its disrespectful to want to change it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My family took me out to eat at a buffet, then bought me an ice cream cake. Aside from that just chilled in my room talking to friends online. It was a blast. 26. What time did you wake up: Oh boi... I went to sleep late so I woke up at 1:00pm xD 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with a friend and watching videos. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I’m looking forward to getting the items I bought off amazon. Silver Hair Wax that changes your hair color to silver (easily washes off), Charcoal Toothpaste that apparently whitens your teeth a lot faster than other whitening toothpastes, and a Hario Technica Coffee Syphon x) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today, like 5 mins ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hmm, I used to be extremely shy, so if anything I’d just like to have come out of my shell a bit faster :). 31. What are you listening to right now: Shinedown’s Album The Sound of Madness. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Umm... in real life I actually don’t think so o~o. However I’ve talked to a youtuber called Tom Fawkes Online x). 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People at work are constantly getting on my nerves. Wish there was less drama in the world. 34. Most visited website: Probably Youtube. 35. Mole/s: I’m actually infested with moles xD. None really big, but I do have bunch all over my body, not even I know how many I have xD. 36. Mark/s: Quite a bit of marks. Stretchmarks on my arms and legs from when I used to do weights in highschool. Strethmarks on my stomach from getting tubby. Scars on my arms, legs, and chest from work, soccer, and football. As well as bite marks from when a family dog attacked me. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a dad. Always thought it was rude that my family laughed at it. But when I matured I understood why they thought it was funny hehe x). 38. Hair color: Brown, although it looks black when wet. I’m starting to grow a couple white hairs though x-x... stress plz... 39. Long or short hair: I like my hair short and tidy :) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I do, but I don’t know how she feels about me >.< 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m open minded, rational, caring, and straightforward. 42. Piercings: None 43. Blood type: A+ 44. Nickname: I’ve had many o.o. My family called me teddy bear when I was a kid. When I was in elementary other kids called me Chili since I was from mexico. During my edgy phase on highschool I wanted to be called Zero or Dragon. Nowadays all my friends just call me Bro. xD 45. Relationship status: Single ;~; 46. Zodiac: Leo (leader of the Zodiacs :> hehe) 47. Pronouns: To describe me? He/Him Himself/Myself Someone/Somebody 48. Favorite TV Show(s): Oh god way too many. As far as anime goes I’ve rewatched Slayers like 4 times. As far as actual TV shows, I watched a lot of X-Files and Bones growing up. 49. Tattoos: None. I think they’re very cool. Might get one myself one of these days. Whenever I stop being terrified of needles. 50. Right or left hand: I’m right handed. 51. Surgery: I think I’ve never had surgery for anything. Unless Dental Work counts. I had work done of my front top 2 teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Hmm when I was younger there was a hair gel I was using that would change your hair color to blonde over time xD. Aside form that I kind of wanna dye the front part of my hair red. Felt inspired by Markiplier’s many color changes xD 53. Sport: As a kid I played a lot of Soccer and American Football. Aside from that I really loved swimming. 54. ??? This number was missing so... let me invent one. Random interesting fact about yourself, go!: I never studied much in high school and still passed as an AB student. xD 55. Vacation: The last real vacation I had was going to San Diego a year ago to visit a friend and go to Warped Tour x) 56. Pair of trainers: I actually had no idea what this meant so I had to look it up Dx. My favorite type of running shoes have been my Puma Reverbs

MORE GENERAL : 57. Eating: Cookies 58. Drinking: Still Iced Tea xD 59. I’m about to: Go get ready and go out to eat some Ramen and Sushi x) 61. Waiting for: 5 o clock so that Nama Ramen Opens 62. Want: To win the lottery so I don’t have to worry and enjoy life as it was meant to... But more realistically I want a better job so I can afford to do different things. 63. Get married: For sure. I want to make someone very happy x). 64. Career: I work as a shift manager at a pizzeria. However, I want to move up and find something better with the experience I’ve gained working with people. Eventually I want to go back to school to finish my degree on computer programming.

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs are nice, but kisses are much more intimate ;3 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure. 67. Shorter or taller: Shorter 68. Older or younger: I prefer younger x) 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Hmm... I’d have to say stomach. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive for sure 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship duh. Hook ups are for people who aren’t serious about each other. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Not actually sure. I think hesitant is better over someone that just makes trouble for fun. HAVE YOU EVER : 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes, prefer it over beer. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t own either... but I might have to get glasses soon. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, twice. I didnt feel good about myself for doing it, but I didnt see myself with those people. 78. Sex on the first date: Not likely. But who knows, might be a hell of a date xD. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Hopefully not. 80. Had your heart broken: Oh yeah, multiple times. At this point I’ve just adopted the mentality of doing my best and having no regrets when asking someone out. 81. Been arrested: Never, but I was stopped once for speeding. (a whole 5 miles per hour more... thanks rando sheriff, I thought it was BS but I wasnt gonna argue with the cop) 82. Cried when someone died: Yes and No actually. Theres been so many deaths around me that hearing about someone I knew dying doesnt affect me as much. Its just part of life. I’m sad that they’re not around anymore, and I’ll miss them very much. But its just a part of living. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah... x3 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yeah, if I dont believe in myself who will. 85. Miracles: Depends on what is meant by miracle. I believe in multiple efforts made by everyone to make something happen, over something like divine intervention. But regardless yes, I do believe miracles can happen. 86. Love at first sight: Although its very rare and not likely to work out, I do like to believe that it can happen between people that live in the moment. 87. Santa Claus: Of course! Not in the concept of the old man spreading gifts across the world in those who believe in him, but more on the idea that if you’re good and behave all year long, a day where you get rewarded for all that effort exists. 88. Kiss on the first date: If the date went well and the mood is right, I dont see a problem with receiving/giving a kiss. But its not something that should be expected as a standard.

OTHER : 90. Current best friend name: My friends JusticeRider and Grayfox07, because they’re always there for me. Honorable mentions are Fiona and Hannah :) 91. Eye color: Milk Chocolate :3 92. Favorite movie: Thats a good question. If we go by whatever movie I’ve rewatched the most, It’d have to be Space Jam since I watched it a lot as a kid. However, the latest movie I watched and enjoyed was Gantz: O. Had a lot of fun watching it with my friend Grayfox xD.

#Took longer than I thought #Get to know me #Thanks for asking!#Good Ask

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wayward-marvel-sommer1196 · 7 years

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Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one.

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.)

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask)

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met.

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2.

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day.

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....”

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died: Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long

Do you believe in… 77. yourself? Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day?

78. Miracles? sometimes

79. love at first sight? I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange

84. Eye colour: Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.

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lacyjaybird · 7 years

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Prompt: "So there I was,like, COVERED in hot oil.."

Pt. 3 of @mustardyellowsunshine ’s wonderfully invigorating writing prompts is another sentence challenge. Once again. I will be delving into the world of my Ballet! AU. Simply because you guys seem to like it so much! this time im aided by a delicious cup of wine and come soothing music. Please forgive the rambles. *cracks knuckles* Lets get this show on the road!

@inunanna @grapefruitwannabe as always, i write for you two beautiful ladies.

Enjoy!

Inuyasha sat with his back against the glass in the ballet studio, a cool bottle of water in one hand and a small towel in the other to wipe his brow of sweat, listening intently to the story being told to him. A gentle smile gracing his lips as its teller waved her hands around animatedly.

“Yeah, I had to go on stage wearing this GOD AWFUL feathered headdress and Sango was in this little-bow-peep style dress and a bonnet and next thing I know, one of the live sheep goes crazy and mows over Hojo, like straight up takes out his knees, and takes a dive straight into the crowd!” Kagome laughed, unscrewing her own bottle of water and taking a sip.

Inuyasha let out a snort and fiddled with the towels corner as he pictured the ridiculous situation. “Does stuff like that always happen at the French Ballet?”, Inuyasha asked, looking up to take in Kagome’s relaxed figure. She was sitting cross-legged in the center of the room, gently massaging the tops of her feet. Surprising enough, her feet weren’t terribly calloused or red. She seemed to take great care of them to ensure comfort in the pointes. “Uhm the proper name is The Opera National de Paris and.. actually yes. There were two other incidents in similar nature while i was there.” She giggled, shaking her head as a smile spread across her lips as she recalled far away memories. “Do you speak french?” Inuyasha asked, toying with his water bottle cap. He had noticed the proper inflection she used on the words and wondered if her year spent in Paris had yielded any reward.

For some reason he wanted to keep hearing her talk. Usually he avoided any and all communication with humans and demons alike. But with her, in this moment, it felt magical. Here she was, like a celestial being, her skin baring a slight glint from their impromptu dance session. And her voice rubbed against his canine ears like a soothing balm to his soul. He didnt want to leave and break the spell. So the best way was to keep her talking.

“Juste un peu. Assez de passer.” Kagome smirked, holding up her thumb and forefinger an inch apart and squinting her eyes for emphasis. “Did you just say you had to go poo? Cause we just officially met and thats hella nasty.” Inuyasha joked, cocking an inky brow in her direction and allowing a playful grin to dance on his lips. At that Kagome burst into laughter, the sound dancing between them like a dandelions seeds in the wind. Kagome raised up her arms, stretching, and allowed her body to be taken back until she rested on the floor, her legs still crossed. “Do you know anything other than Japanese?” Kagome asked, turning her head to look him in the eye, her stormy grey meeting his honey irises. “I had to learn a little bit of Swedish when I worked at a spa for a while..” Inuyasha shrugged, shivering at the memories of having to clean the onsen and public showers and change the linen in the massage rooms. The oils had always given him the worst headaches. “Well do you remember any of it?” Kagome asked, her own eyebrow conveying her interest.

Inuyasha sighed and straightened his back, his eyes falling into a disinterested half-lid. “ En unge spydde i badet igen. Var är desinfektionsmedel?” He asked, obviously drawing on past irritations. “What does that mean?” Kagome asked, a playful laugh bouncing on her words. Inuyasha watched for a moment as her ribs moved gently with her breaths. “Well..” Inuyasha groaned, scratching his head, “It means ‘A kid threw up in the bath again. Where is the sanitizer?’ Unfortunatly it was something i had to ask quite often..” he growled, shaking his head at the memories.

“My mom took me to a spa for my 18th birthday while I was on holiday from competition.” Kagome sighed, shaking her head, her bangs shifting side to side as she recalled the event. Inuyasha watched intently, nervously picking at the towels corner. He knew how emotional he tended to get when talking about his own mother, and if had known his story would lead her to talk about her own then wouldnt have brought it up. “I didnt mean to-” he started, fumbling over his words. He was cut off by her hand waving in his direction. Her eyes were now closed as she recalled the story. “Its fine. I remember my mom and Sota and even Kawaguchi-sempai in positive tones. I honor them by talking about them. They impacted so many people. They deserve it..” Her voice was a whisper now as she drew her legs into a bent position, allowing her to reach her shin and touch the thick scar that reminded her of the day two years ago that nearly destroyed her.

“Any way. I was freshly 18.” Kagome started, a new happy tone in her voice as she chuckled. “I was young and shy. I had only been touring for 6 months with the NNT” She acknowledged Inuyasha’s cocked brow in question and continued,” Thats short for the New National Theatre in Tokyo. Anyway, I still wasnt super comfortable with my own body in public. Hell, at the time i could barely change in the dressing room without turning beet red! But I agreed to go with Momma. I was only in town for a week and had never been to a spa before.”

She re-adjusted to sit up and look at him, her knees bent up to her chest as she absent mindedly rubbed her scars. “So first thing they do is take us to our own rooms, yeah, i didnt even have mom in there. And the guy, YES A GUY, gave me a sheet and told me undress and lay on the table. So he leaves and i look around the room and its got all sorts of curtains and candles and stuff with mood-lighting. 18 year old me is coming out of her skin at this point but Momma payed for it so I got undressed and got under the sheet and put my face in the little holder thing and just tried to not die from embarrassment,” She stopped momentarily to take a sip of her water and Inuyasha leaned forward, listening intently to this slice of her past.

“Next thing I know, dude comes back in and he’s super awkward about it now. Later I found out that he had been told I was traveling with the NNT and wanted to relax and the pressure of massaging a ballerina git to him because as soon as he gets in there he is stuttering when trying to explain to me what to do. And that makes me nervous because I don’t know what to do. So he grabs the oil and is massaging my legs when he goes around to my feet without telling me and his sleeve hits my foot and I jerk and scare him.. and his elbow hits one of the candles and wax splashed all over the curtain and goes up in flames. So he’s freaking out and throws water on it.. and it explodes!” Kagome shook her head as she chuckled at the sheer hilarity of it.

Inuyasha’s eyebrows were raised in curiosity, this really did sound crazy. He watched intently as Kagome sighed and covered her eyes with her hand, readying for the best part of the story. Her other hand gestured limply to the side,“ and so I’m screaming and the guy just sprints out of the room yelling ‘fire, fire!’ And so I just grab the sheet and run out of there. Well running and oily feet dont mix so i end up slipping and busting my ass and tailbone. The fire alarm goes off and everyone is outside and i see mom and the other patrons and I notice they are all in robes.. and I’m in a sheet. And then I notice a different kind of burning. The dude has apparently grabbed a heating oil… so there i was ,like, COVERED in hot oil and wrapped in a sheet and the media shows up. I get a microphone shoved in my face and cameras are flashing next thing I know I’m on every tabloid this side of Tokyo with a shot of very unflattering side boob and a whole ass cheek completely covered in oil..” Inuyasha burst into laughter at that because he suddenly recalled that exact picture.

It had been less than flattering because of the flash on the oil and her shocked face paired with the large purple bruise on her butt. Not to mention her hair had looked like a birds best from the bun. The article had read “Local ballet prodigy from the New National Theatre Ballet, Higurashi Kagome, gets herself into a slippery situation while on Holliday”

” I looked like a bruised oil slick.” Kagome groaned, flopping back onto her back remembering the PR nightmare the week following the incident had been.

Inuyasha smiled gently and took in the woman infront of him who had opened up to him tonight. Usually she held herself with such poise and grace. Her stoic demeanor in the studio seemed intimidating to those unaware of the carefree and gentle woman beneath the surface. But he looked at her now, laughing and blushing at an embarrassing memory and saw so much more. He wanted this. He wanted the carefree easiness that came when talking to her. He wanted her to laugh, because damn it if it didn’t brighten his world. Taking a breath, he readied himself for his next words. His heart fluttered in his chest and his cheeks and inner ears reddened as he shrugged his shoulders, averting his eyes.

“…a cute bruised oil slick.”

#this was so long #i started rambling again #did this add anything to the story?#was this even good #i need halp #i kinda like relaxed inu #imagine that situation though #inuyasha #kagome #inukag #ballet!au #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fanfic

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nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 66

Pages 6056-6093

Hey guys! Things got busy busy busy with work and the holidays, but like Slim Shady, I am back. Last time we got brief introductions to Jane and Jake, the post-Scratch young Nanna and Grandpa, respectively, and it was interesting to see how the modern setting meshed with their old-timey dialogic idiosyncrasies. I’m very much looking forward to (hopefully!) meeting young Mom and Bro this time around and learning what they’re like. So far all I know for certain is that Bro is as elusive as his pre-Scratch counterpart, and Mom and Jane are, like, BFFsies or something. I feel like we’ve gotten some minor sneak peeks into their personalities after seeing adult!Mom’s pink, girly bedroom in the Skaianet lab, and... oh god... from Bro’s awful comics. How will these quirks translate into fully-fleshed teenagers, and just how fucked up will young Bro be?

Let’s find out! ^0^

*click*

Jane: Answer Lalonde.

OH MY GOD SHE IS SO FUCKING CUTE. We are 2/2 on post-Scratch girls being GODDAMNED ADORABLE. I love her little pink phone, and her mutant kitty symbol, and her hair curlicue, and her tights under her skirt (are those leg warmers?), and her... martini?? Ok, so, these kids are still kids, right? If this is November 2011 and Jane’s thirteenth birthday was 3 years ago, then young Mom should only be just about to turn seventeen. Adult Mom obviously had a habitual hankering for hooch, but it’s weird and kind of worrying to see that carry over into her teenage self. Anyway, let’s see what she’s got to say!

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:24

Huh, so she’s got Dave’s pesterchum initials, and not Rose’s. Come to think of it, Jane has Jade’s initials, and not John’s. So then I guess I’d expect Bro to have Rose’s initials... which is odd. Anyway, her handle seems to confirm that she’s a drunk-o teen (where is Rose during all this??), and may possibly be awake on Derse, even if, like Dave, she doesn’t know it.

TG: jane

PINK TEXT AAAAAH CUTE

TG: hey TG: jaaaney TG: ansrew plz TG: *answer TG: jaaaaaaaaaane GG: Omg.

JESUS, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. So like... she not only has Dave’s initials, but she fucking talks like him??? And is apparently legit drunk during the day. Like I said, that bit is concerning, but I admit it is fucking hilarious that she talks and acts nothing like Rose. No wonder the poor kid had such a hard time understanding her.

GG: Overreact much? I kept you waiting for all of two seconds! GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden

Hahaha, I know someone who consistently says ‘all of the sudden’, and it hurts me not to correct them all the time. (They also say ‘yield’ instead of ‘wield’, and how could you ever think ‘unyieldy’ was a word.) And let it not go unremarked upon that I fucking LOVE that Mom just repeated herself anyway. Didn’t Dave do that once or twice when someone tried to correct him?

TG: it hits me TG: thaf we have somethig really fuckin important to talk about GG: This hit you just now? We made plans to get in touch early this morning, and I have seen neither hide nor hair of you all day. TG: it hits me that TG: jakes bday is coming up really soon TG: just a few days before mine remembr

Hmm, so their birthdays are the same as their pre-Scratch counterparts. Also, heh, I get the feeling that Jake’s birthday was definitely not what they’d made plans to talk about.

TG: or i guess it would be if it wasnt for the end of the world thats about to happen GG: Oh, for Pete's sake.

Whoa whoa whoa!! So Mom knows enough about the game to know that it’s going to end the world. Not even Jade, with her ‘precognitive’ abilities, knew that ahead of time. Hell, Aradia only knew because she was in communication with ghosts, and Sollux didn’t figure it out until right before it happened. I guess that’s where the ‘gnostalgic’ comes in. (Side note: that’s a really clever portmanteau and I’m almost jealous I didn’t think of it.)

TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna

...Aaaaaand Mom has the hots for Jake, apparently. Huh, that’s kind of fucked up in a way, considering her adult self hooked up with John’s Dad. Oh god, that pairing isn’t going to carry over to her liking Jane’s Dad, is it??

I wonder how difficult it was for Hussie to type out ‘totes’.

GG: Grrr. GG: Now I know you're joking around to get my goat.

To get it, and then, say, tote it?

TG: ahaha TG: yeah TG: the goat getting thing i mean TG: but joking oh no i think not TG: u dont think that if i didnt say he was off limits on account of you being my best friend TG: i wouldnt be all the hell over that????

So... Jane and Jake are already dating?? I guess that is the prescribed ‘canon’ pairing, so that makes sense. Does Mom LittleLonde—that’s what she’ll be from now on—also have the hots for young Bro then? Or maybe she just wants to bone everything/everyone. I can feel that.

TG: daaaaamn TG: that rugged senseof adventure TG: the delightful silly vernacular thats like TG: weirdly and bewitchingly not self aware TG: those adorbable teeth TG: swoooooooooon <3

Yes, those are definitely all swoonworthy things. ...Hah, I can totally deal with ‘adorabable’. It’s weird, but after reading all the trolls’ quirks, I kind of skip over the typos unless she calls them out herself.

GG: Nooooo, stop. :( TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos TG: shit suuucks TG: you dont even let me say your dad is hot even though we both know he way the fuck is i mean come one TG: *one TG: *on GG: Yeah. Because it's weird!

OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE HER. I mean yeah, it is pretty damn weird that she’s still got... daddy issues... but, ‘*buncha goddamn typos’?? Anybody would be lucky to have her.

...Huh. Now that I’m thinking about it, is Jane’s Dad exactly the same as John’s Dad? They look the same, but... how would that even work? Maybe he was adopted, and isn’t actually related to John and Jane at all, so his existence and physical appearance aren’t contingent upon anything game-related?

GG: And you're drunk. :P TG: correction TG: drinking TG: prensent tense TG: grammar jane

GG: I don't see why you don't try to court the favor of Mr. Strider. If you ask me, he and you are perfect for each other.

Again, a ‘canon’ pairing getting called out. Are they going to be played straight, or hilariously subverted like Karkat’s shipping grid?

TG: oh jane TG: so naive

Silly Jane; he’s clearly only into plush rump. *shudder*

TG: soooo niaev GG: Lordy. GG: How can you be this far gone so early? GG: It isn't even noon yet.

Yes, that is a very good question. Weirdly, I’m glad that this is at least getting called out; if her being drunk were played just for laughs, it might have been a bit distasteful. Addiction is an issue I’m rather painfully familiar with. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out, if it does.

TG: you forget we live in very different time zones TG: its a lot later here GG: You're three hours ahead of me! TG: youd would be amazed TG: how much can happen TG: in 3 hours

She’s not like... already entering the game, is she? And she does still live in New York, right?

GG: Tsk. What would your mother have to say if she caught you? TG: p sure she wouldnt give a shit TG: i mean TG: shes the one who stocked thegod damn liquor cabinets in the firts place TG: i dont even think she ever had a drop in her life probably TG: so why else is she puttin it there it was like TG: a passive aggrassive dare for me TG: *aggressive TG: jut the sort of mind game she would play

HOLY SHIT, what is going on here?? I’m a bit surprised that LittleLonde would have the same contentious relationship with her ‘Mom’ that Rose did, given their wildly different personalities and LittleLonde’s cheeriness so far. But she has a good point; if Rose doesn’t drink, then is the liquor cabinet just... some sort of test she’s putting LittleLonde through, and refusing to step in when she fails it? That’s fucked up.

GG: So even if your insane and paranoid theory happens to be true, your response is, "Screw it! Time to help myself to all this mind game booze." TG: yuuuuuuuuuuuup TG: pppp mcuh

Yeah, stick it to the Man. :\

GG: Groan. You are completely impossible like this. GG: I cannot believe you chose to do this today of all days. I should have known better! GG: Here I am waking up bright and early, waiting all day with my nose pressed against this glass for the mail to come and wondering if you'll ever log on, and all the while you are just getting blind stinking schnocker-bottomed drunk.

*steals ‘schnocker-bottomed’ for my own vocabulary*

TG: watcha waiting for TG: in the mail TG: is something happening today or something GG: &%#$@!!! GG: The alpha! GG: Jeez-Louise, you are hopeless. TG: oh yeah TG: that thing

Ahahahaha. I can’t fucking get over how adorable it is that she’s basically cutesy girl!Dave when it comes to being slightly ditzy and forgetful. And NO, Chrome; you are not going to autocorrect ‘ditzy’ to ‘ditsy’, that’s dumb.

GG: Are you at all ready to play if it comes? TG: i guess TG: but TG: you sure you even want to play this thing TG: u know its just what the batterwitch wants you to do GG: Not this again.

WOW, WELP. 8|

So it looks like LittleLonde knows exactly what’s going on, and knows that the Batterwitch intends to interfere somehow with the new Sburb session. That’s an interesting twist, having a drunk oracle who no one will take seriously because she’s ””schnocker-bottomed””.

TG: if you want to go ahead and be a chump jane its ur call im just saying TG: i know what a chump looks like TG: and you dont look like no chump i ever saw TG: if you go thru with this ill have to add your porfile to my chump roll

Heh heh. (AAH THAT PAGE QUOTE.)

GG: The "Batterwitch" DOES NOT EXIST! GG: It is an idiotic urban legend. GG: How many times have I explained this? My great, great grandmother who founded the company and is accused of holding this identity would have to be almost two hundred years old if she were still alive today. The idea is such preposterous hogwash it's hardly worth dignifying with a rational response.

[Insert obligatory “It’s more likely than you think.”] Gosh, I can foresee her refusal to believe what’s going on being frustrating later down the line.

GG: The iconic face of the company isn't even a real person! She was fabricated long ago during the company's fledgling years.

BECAUSE THE REAL FOUNDER WAS AN ALIEN, DUNKASS. ...Yep, already a bit frustrating. We’re not at Wheel of Time levels of miscommunication/trust issues yet, though.

TG: right TG: as TG: you know TG: an alter ego TG: for somethig more sinister GG: Such cuckoobird nonsense.

AAUUUGHH, no fucking wonder LittleLonde drinks.

GG: Have you even obtained your copy yet?? TG: um TG: heh TG: yes "obtianed" TG: suuure did GG: Through your various technologically crypotgraphic means, I presume? TG: oh you bet TG: hacked the SHIT out of those TIGHT mainframes and all TG: said jackpot like TG: a BUNCH of times TG: all those TG: cyhpers and bobbytraps TG: backdoor trojans and what not TG: were no match TG: 4 mai codez TG: snicker GG: :|

Jesus, this sounds like Dave trying to talk about sports. Or, Hackers. Does LittleLonde actually know what she’s talking about?

GG: I am quizzically narrowing my eyes trying to solve the joke you are attempting, assuming it even is one. TG: ok jane what im saying is that TG: in the parlance of baking cause i know that is what gets you off TG: is that TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I LOVE THIS GIRL.

TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files

I’M FUCKIN’ WEEPING

GG: Hrm. That is a bit puzzling. I thought this software was highly proprietary. TG: i told you TG: she wants you to play TG: wants us all to TG: part of her BIG PLANS TG: and ur playing right into em TG: like TG: a TG: chhhhhhhhhhhhh....

...ode?

Anyway, this would seem to lend credence to the idea that the Batterwitch is Earth’s new First Guardian, pulling the strings from behind the scenes the way Doc Scratch did with the trolls in order to further her employer’s designs.

GG: Ump, yes, I know. You've made yourself clear.

Dammit.

GG: But what doesn't add up about your story is, GG: I believe SOMEBODY doesn't want me to play. GG: How else do you explain the recent attempts on my life?

Whoa, what? Like, assassination attempts, because she’s the heir to Betty Crocker? Looks like LittleLonde might not be the only one who understands that there is something very... fishy going on.

TG: orrrr TG: its just more connivings of the witch GG: So this hypothetical monstrosity wants me to succeed, but also wants me to die? GG: Makes a lot of sense! TG: wouldnt put it past her TG: makes you feel perpsecuted TG: redoubles your determination to play TG: u advance her plans in whatever incomprehensible way TG: until suddenly you did evrything she needed you to TG: at which point you become craaaaazy expendable yo TG: and then TG: she expends you TG: like a wad of boondollars on shitty bc merch

Seems a bit more convoluted than Doc Scratch’s approach, if such a thing were even possible. ...On second thought, no, literally nothing could be more convoluted than Doc Scratch. Maybe it’s not convoluted, per se, and more just really, really bad planning.

GG: I see. This is sounding less like a crackpot conspiracy theory by the minute! TG: w/e alls im saying is a bunch of stuff thats def true to the max

I know it would break with the naming scheme, but could LittleLonde be named Cassie? Or just Cass? That would fit.

TG: my drunk butts tune will stay as unchanged as it will remain un not drunk

Spoiler: she farts in F#.

TG: makr my barley corerent words

She’s self-aware, if nothing else. Does she drink beer?

GG: If years ago someone told me, which incidentally someone DID, that today I would have an exclusive opportunity to play what is absolutely the most cutting edge immersive simulation game ever released, developed by a company which has already done so much for the advancement of humanity, I would have said, "Shucks, buster, sign me up!"

Uh, well, who told her years go? Was it LittleLonde?? Because you’d think that would lend some credence to her claims, but noooOOoooo.

TG: jane GG: Yes? TG: jaaaane GG: What! TG: jane TG: did u know TG: that i am uttrely TG: IN LOVE TG: with the fact that TG: i have a best friend TG: who says things TG: like TG: shucks buster

littlelonde did u know that i am uttrely IN LOVE with u????

GG: Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... TG: wtf GG: The thing. GG: The flappy thing!

The little red arm-swingy-dealy! (Btw it’s called a semaphore. Also that took me a second to cotton on to and at first I had this image of Flappy Bird??)

GG: THE FLAPPY SWINGY DOODAD. GG: THE ARM DEALIE. GG: THE DEALIE, LALONDE, THE DEALIE!!! TG: wut

<3 <3 <3

GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass

Or your author; one of the two. :P

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

But wait, perhaps that is not so much the distinguished Inspector Clouseau as it is...

‘really fucking stupid’? That’s my guess.

THE WORLD RENOWNED INVESTIGATOR HERCULE POIROT, BECAUSE THE LITTLE CURLY MUSTACHE IS A LOT CUTER.

DAMMIT.

The great Poirot, in THIS house?? Such an honor. I will set the kettle to boil straightaway. Who would have guessed this home would be so heavily trafficked by famous French detectives at this time of day?

Followed by Dupin and Lecoq?

...Aaaaand it’s another character select! This seems to follow the pattern of the mess of photographs from Act 5; I click on characters one by one, then when I’m done, I click the link at the bottom of the page and move on. Hmm, hovering over LittleLonde and Bro shows location markers I can’t click, but which confirm they live in New York and Texas like their counterparts. Also, I realized that we’re continuing the trend of the post-Scratch kids’ color themes matching their pre-Scratch counterparts’ sprites. That means Bro will be typing in orange, most likely.

Back to Jake!

And just like that, back to Jake. What was it you were up to? Oh right, you were going to pick these dang guns up off the floor when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.

For some reason the word ‘dang’ is inherently hilarious to me, especially when paired with ‘ol’. I have a friend who says “dang ol’ ___” all the time, and it cracks me the fuck up.

What’s up with all the vines, btw? No timeline shenanigans to steal Jade’s pumpkins?

You pick up your TWIN M9 BERETTAS, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from an eccentric old woman. Guns are so cool. Your GRANDMA was rad.

So Jade is dead, just like John. Booo. :’(

It's your authentic TOMB RAIDER SEXY THIGHSTRAP DOUBLE HOLSTER, complete with cool skullbuckle and everything. You like to think you pull it off about as well as Croft herself.

Uh, well, alright then. Nothing wrong with that.

You like to think that, but in truth you look ridiculous. You think you probably need shorter shorts to make it work? Probably skin tight shorts too. As it is, the cuffs of your baggy shorts get kind of bunched up underneath the thighstraps, which is uncomfortable and makes you look like a tool.

BAHAHAHAHA. Now, if Heero Yuy had tried to wear it...

> Jake: Examine bed.

Ooh, yes, this ought to be interesting. What’s up with his sheets?

You think your bed is some sort of electronic gadget. You're pretty sure those bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances. But you've never been able to figure out what purpose it serves. Just more mysterious junk inherited from your eclectic GRANDMA.

HOLY SHIT, IS IT A QUEST BED??? Did she like... expect him to get killed before the game even started?? What would it do if he died on it outside the Incipisphere?

Movies are so great. You have never seen a movie you didn't like, you are pretty sure. People give you a hard time for that though. Gosh you love movies. Almost as much as you love skulls. And movies that have skulls in them? Oh my god.

Well then I bet he REALLY would have dug the fourth Indiana Jones movie that mercifully died in pre-production because the concept was so stupid.

Jake: Scope out those blue chicks.

You are oft-times the recipient of a good ribbing from Jane on account of your peculiar fascination with blue movie ladies. You don't have to justify yourself to her though. What is even her deal? Any fella would be off his ROCKER not to fawn over all these BODACIOUS BLUE KNOCKOUTS. You want to make out with all of them.

Well, Jane is a girl, and she’s sort of blue-themed... Not to mention she’s, like, canonically destined to end up with him.

I’m not sure whether that’s more or less respectable than John trying to kiss his Nic Cage poster.

Dear, sweet Neytiri from James Cameron's Avatar. Oh, if only you were the one who could have overcome his paralysis on an alien adventure planet to become her boyfriend, instead of that other guy.

Incidentally also named Jake, IIRC.

Then she could have shown you how to be bold and courageous, and stand up to fight for your people, and maybe later, engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process involving ponytails, and a magical tree you guess?

Wait a second... a Page who imagines himself as a paralyzed guy on an adventure planet, who wants to learn from a blue chick to be bold and courageous, and then engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process??

wHY DOES THIS SOUND, fAMILIAR,

:::;)

You'll show that curmudgeonly Strider who's just a gigantic shitty space furry.

PAHAHA. So young Bro is curmudgeonly, and has a vocabulary similar to Dave’s. I don’t doubt Hussie’s skill, but I’m still REALLY interested to see how Dave’s Bro is going to be transformed into an actual character, with like... feelings and stuff.

You will show him what marvelous creatures they are. You'll show him what a daring dream it is, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with...

Oh no, not this again

She says you sound just like John when you say stuff like that though, and that the two of you would get along famously. You can't wait to meet him.

THEY WAIT. I can’t wait until they meet either! I know that Act 6 is broken into many “”sub acts”” and I wonder how long we’re going to beat around the bush before the meetup happens.

Also there are some Cage flicks there. But who doesn't love a good Cage flick? Nobody is who. Dang, you would kill to get your hands on some authentic Cage movie memorabilia. But that'll probably have to remain a crazy dream.

Did... did he not realize before he sent Jane the bunny... :|a

AND HE EVEN STILL HAS ONE. Wait, how the hell did he get two bunnies??

The TRANSMATERIALIZER you have been using to ship it back and forth is wired to sync up your flow of time with hers, so it's not like you can just take forever with it, and send to the exact time she needs it - you've thought of that!

I don’t think this is happening exactly the way you’re imagining... Granted I don’t think anybody could have accurately guessed at what was really happening without copious hints.

Sure is gonna be a sweet gift. Reminds you a lot of the old ratty bunny you inherited from your GRANDMA, who of course is exactly who you are collaborating with to make this thing. Time loops make you feel a bit fuzzy in the head, but you've always suspected it could very well be the same bunny.

Phew, so he’s not a total numskull. That’s good.

At some point in the early 20th century, Jade gave this robo-rabbit to John, and then later it must have been wound up back with Jade... somehow? Then she... uh... removed all the robot parts, hung on to it until she was an old woman, and gave it to you?

Seems legit.

Jade tells you this little rabbit here, or Terry Kiser as you like to call him, will save John's life!

Terry... Kiser... fuck, I’m fucking dead. Creatures/objects having different names between kids is one of my favorite running jokes. Meowgon Spengler, or Vodka Mutini? Dear, sweet Casey, or Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer?

In fact, this project gave you a neat idea for what to do for Jane's 13th birthday a couple years ago. You and your other pals all coordinated gifts, each sending a customized rabbit. Lalonde happened to have another bunny heirloom like yours, and Strider... well, Strider was resourceful as usual.

OH LAWD, I don’t think I’m ready for the smubbit.

If John enjoys his gift anywhere near as much as Jane did, then it will be time well spent.

Which is to say, he’ll appreciate the thought but ultimately feel pretty ambivalent about it?

You have been plundering all of your devices for uranium to refuel the TRANSMATERIALIZER, which requires huge amounts of power any time it sendificates or appearifies the package from the past. Seems to you like excessive energy consumption for just a simple time machine, but what do you know? Unless it's doing something besides shipping it across time. You couldn't imagine what, though.

Ok, but even time travel requires 1.21 gigawatts, and that’s nothing to sniff at. ...Never mind, actually I looked it up and 1.21 gigawatts isn’t even all that hard to produce!

As much as it troubles your pride to admit, this project wouldn't be possible without help from your other two technologically savvy friends. And you are slowly coming to the regrettable conclusion that you will not be able to solve this uranium dilemma without asking for Strider's assistance. He's your best bro and all, but the dude never makes anything easy.

...Uh, what the hell does Bro know about... And how the hell would he get his hands on uranium?? Hm.

Hah, that’s pretty cool! It’s like tile Tetris.

You stash Terry in your PUZZLE MODUS. It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris.

Heh heh.

The space in your inventory is mainly hogged up by one incredibly huge thing. You guess you should get rid of it. But you can't shake the feeling you might need it someday, and you don't want to risk ditching it and be caught with your pants down later.

WHOA HOLY SHIT. What the hell is it?? And what do you want to bet that he’ll accidentally deploy it early, or lose it or something? ...Is it a giant matriorb?

Hmm, lots of Knight references over in this corner. Something to do with Dave or Karkat? I’m guessing Bro isn’t going to be a Knight if none of the other kids share classpects with their counterparts.

On your worktable there are a few comic books starring your favorite heroine of all, SPIDER-GIRL. You don't know what it is, but there's something about a girl who has spidery powers and a sassy attitude that is just so cool to you. It's just another quirky fact about you that definitely doesn't have any greater significance, and never will.

Oh GAWD. Is he going to end up with a similar arc to Tavros? Run into Vriska in a dream bubble and become the new Pupa Pan?

Well, as long as one of your preposterously numerous computers has spilled out of your sylladex, you might as well stop procrastinating and contact Strider to... hang on. Maybe later.

AAAAAH IT’S MYSTERY TROLL! Let’s see what she has to say! Normally I’d be miffed about missing out on kidchat, but this is fine. Also, troll computer!

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering golgothasTerror [GT] at 5:45

...Did I completely skip over his chumhandle last time?? Golgatha is the hill on which Jesus was crucified, and literally means ‘place of the skull’.

UU: hello there, darling. ~3u

It took about half a minute and a lot of head tilting to realize this is supposed to be a winking kissy face. UGH she’s super cute. I do still wonder who she’s supposed to be, because Karkat’s ancestor was almost certainly not female, if my understanding of the Scratch is correct.

GT: Im determined as ever to see this through. But as usual events have conspired to make a boondoggle of the prospect. GT: I think i might be fucked.

Hah. I love the curses thrown into his otherwise ridiculous anachronistic patter.

GT: Terry needs fuel and i dont have any left. I think im at striders dubious mercy for a solution YET AGAIN. GT: I will have to ask him for help. And soon.

I still don’t understand how Bro is supposed to help! Is Dave like... a nuclear scientist in this universe, in addition to making a SBaHJ movie?

UU: i relayed the information enabling yoU to create the powerfUl weaponry yoUrself. UU: and yoU did! UU: yoU then sent them back in time. yoU may recover them in the rUins, which conveniently is where yoU mUst go to ship the package once and for all. UU: bangUp plan we hatched, dont yoU fancy? ^u^ GT: I see...

So... he makes the weapons after he enters the game, when he has access to the punch designix and the alchemiter, and then sends them back in the lotus pod? Interesting.

Gosh, she sure uses a lot of British slang, in addition to Commonwealth spellings. Is there a Troll England?

GT: That is what im doing right? Giving it to my grandma when she was a kid growing up on the same island i did? UU: that is somewhat close to the trUth, and i can see how yoU woUld draw that conclUsion.

This sounds like Hussie’s non-sarcastic stock response to wacky fan theories.

UU: perhaps a draft of the cascading seqUence from which yoUr reality has arisen will pUt yoUr mind at ease. UU: imagine two Universes, A and B. UU: now imagine there are two instances of each Universe, A1 and A2 and B1 and B2. UU: the first instance of each is like a test rUn, that does not qUite sUcceed. UU: the second instance thoUgh will meet all of its pUrposes! UU: now consider that A1 begets A2. UU: A2 begets B1. UU: and B1 begets B2. UU: and the participants of B2 are the ones who will make an effort to exit all this tUrbUlence and falderal.

That’s... actually reasonably straightforward and concise. So the troll universe we’re familiar with is A2, and the original human kids’ is B1. Even though A2 didn’t quite finish the way it was supposed to, its players, along with B1′s, will all gather in the successful B2.

Also, now the flash title ‘Cascade’ makes a lot more sense!

UU: and yoUr yoUng ancestor is another, thoUgh she is "presently" stationed in B1. UU: and yes she is in the past. UU: thoUgh not qUite as far as yoU believe!

Just under 3 years, by my count... So all of this collaboration between them happened before the game, and technically if he were able to talk to Jade right at this very moment, it would be a ‘past’ Jade from our perspective!

GT: I remember you mentioned your race doesnt really jive with ours familially speaking? UU: correct. i never knew those who one woUld identify as my parental eqUivalents. U_U

I don’t suppose the Mother Grub really counts as a ‘mom’ in anything approaching the human sense.

GT: When do i get to learn your name by the way? UU: hm trUthfUlly? UU: it may be for the best that yoU never know it. UU: it coUld stir Up some things best left in their present eqUilibriUm.

Kar...katina? I wonder what the deal is. Is it a whole ‘names have power’ kind of thing?

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods.

And after that, it’s finally answering The Ultimate Riddle!

UGH WHY DOES HE HAVE A WHOLE COSPLAY’S WORTH OF LORD ENGLISH SHIT?? D:

You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person.

Teehee, yeah, that’s Jade.

These were also inherited from your grandma.

But why would...

In addition to being quite the globe trotting adventuress, she was rather enterprising as well. Her company made many products like this, to compete with the corporation owned by the cruel baroness who raised her. Sadly, BCCorp eventually crushed her company and forced her into exile.

So not only did she name Jake ‘English’ (if she didn’t take the name herself), but she also manufactured Lord English-themed apparel... to compete with BCCorp?? But Lord English is HIC’s employer. How does that even work??

You have always hoped that when Jane takes over that foul conglomerate, she will right all of its unspeakable wrongs. You know she will! You believe in her, after all.

How very Page of Hope. I’m guessing his arc is going to combine some of Tavros’s Page struggles with Eridan’s lack of Hope. But since this universe is supposed to be the culmination of everything, the universe where everything finally plays out right, hopefully (hah) Jake will be more successful than either of those two. He doesn’t seem particularly shy or inept so far, nor is he a giant bag of dicks, so maybe he’s got the best of those two characters with none of their flaws.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, BRO’S SYMBOL IS A HAT. HOW FUCKING DOUCHEY CAN YOU GET. HE IS LITERALLY GAME BRO JESUS CHRIST.

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 5:57

Timaeus...? That’s familiar. *looks it up* Ah! We read Plato’s Timaeus in Philosophy; that’s why. I don’t remember much about it, but according to Wikipedia, it’s mostly hilariously inaccurate theories about the elemental geometric shapes the universe is made of, and there’s some stuff about the creation of the earth, the golden ratio, and Atlantis. Pretty appropriate for a Sburb player, I guess. If there’s any deeper meaning, I suspect I’ll only find out after I’ve been fed more information.

GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake.

OH MY GOD, HE TYPES LIKE ROSE. Like... for some reason I kind of fuckin’ love that??

GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me.

Brown-nose harder, Jake. I don’t think your face is satisfactorily wedged into his plush rump.

GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it!

Suuuuuure you do. No sarcasm there!

TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible.

...Huh. Hmmm. I... Hm. Well, that certainly is a thing that just got said. Gosh, him talking like Rose was so unexpected! I’m not sure what to make of it.

TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided,

One-sided on whose part? And... shit, does that mean everybody wants to smang it with Jake? Or is he saying that Jake gets flustered and hits on him?

TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it.

*GROOOOOAN* Not this irony horseshit again!!

GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude.

Pfffft.

GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.* GT: *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!* GT: Um. GT: Yeah.

So I guess it was one-sided on Bro’s part, and he’s a creepy lech in every universe! Yaaaaay.

TT: Ok, nice. TT: Now that your obsequious preface has been established as indisputably entertaining for all the right reasons, and intentionally so, TT: Let's bear down on these dire as shit needs you've got.

Urgh, I really do want to hate him, but I also like the way he talks. If he really is sort of a combo of Rose and Dave, some of my favorite characters, then I don’t know... Maybe he’ll grow on me.

TT: I'm guessing you're probably jonesing for uranium about now. No? GT: Pshaw! As if i would be so reckless with the stuff. GT: I would have to be mighty irresponsible to run out already. GT: No no im all set in the uranium department and really when you take a look at the big picture youll find i am *sitting pretty* when it comes to just about any radioactive isotope you could mention. GT: However... GT: My backup reserves that i keep strictly for emergencies are running a little lean! GT: You know what my grandma taught me about preparedness. *Tugs at colorful lapels.* TT: You are out of uranium. TT: It's basically mathematically impossible that's not why you're contacting me.

Ok, now I’m REALLY wondering how young Bro is meant to get Jake some uranium. Clearly he’s way smarter than I was prepared to give him credit for, and than his pre-Scratch counterpart implies, but still.

GT: Christ what an insufferable awesome friend you are.

Pffffahahaha.

GT: Ok can you please just sendificate me some more already?? Im in kind of a hurry! TT: You do know my offer still stands. GT: What?

It’s blowjobs for uranium, isn’t it.

TT: You know. I've offered to construct the rabbit for you many times before. I would craft a much deadlier model.

Oh. Oh GOD. So, he’s taken his interest in puppets, turned it up to eleven, and he builds robots?? Do they also have giant asses?

GT: Damn it man ive told you this is just something i have to do myself. GT: Its a promise i made to jade and im going to live up to it even if im not the best or even second best robosmith i know!

I guess the other robosmith is Jade. But is it his Grandma Jade, or is it the young, B1 Jade he’s in communication with?

TT: Yeah, I know this is your policy. You've done a good job and you should be proud. TT: But it's my responsibility as your friend to offer one last time.

Huh, that’s kind of nice of him.

TT: Just as it's my responsibility not to just fork over a bunch of uranium just because you ask me in a moment of weakness.

...Aaaaaand there we go. Is it weird that I’m getting a Sollux-ish kind of vibe from this guy? Like, he’s got a heart in there somewhere, but is super prickly 95% of the time. Maybe he’s like a durian: thick, spiky outer shell, squishy innards, and smells like a dirty diaper!

GT: Frig!!!!! GT: Why not??? TT: It's too easy. TT: And you yourself are the one staking pride in this. TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it.

HAH. Yes, Bro is frustratingly shitty so far, but I admit I am enjoying this a little.

TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it.

So he’s an ass man; who’d’ve thunk it.

TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Though, where, exactly?

GT: I knew you were going to suggest this. I dont know why i bothered asking! GT: Strider why must you always be such an obstinate stick in the mud??? TT: It seems that you consider me to be, no less than one hundred percent of the time, an obstinate stick in the mud. TT: I unironically respect your position on this matter. Hey, let's continue to exchange ideas. GT: Wait... GT: "It seems"??

...Eh? *looks back*

TT: It seems you think I am a fucking douche. TT: That's your opinion, I guess. That's cool.

I guess that is kind of a strange expression to use, especially twice within a very short span of time.

TT: What? GT: Oh for fucks sake. TT: Is something the matter, Jake? GT: This is your auto responder.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, the “”auto responder”” is a goddamn robot, isn’t it.

WHOA WHAT?? Ok, so it’s not a robot. It is... apparently... the Squirtle Squad shades, which young Bro still has. So it’s like Dave’s iShades, I guess, with a computer built into them? Anyway, it looks like we’re in the Strider apartment’s bathroom, which is architecturally identical to the original, same way as the other kids’ houses. Only now there’s robot!puppet shit lying around, and a dumb hat shirt hung on the wall. Where’s Bro himself?

TT: Look at that statement you just made. TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way.

Jesus CHRIST. He’s Rose, only with the intent to psychologically damage people instead of just analyzing them. I didn’t even consider how fucking dangerous that could be. Er, well, at least his auto responder seems to act that way.

GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.

DAMMIT, I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE. What a Hussie thing to say.

TT: If I truly were what you say I am, I wouldn't be able to feel the human emotions of joy and laughter. No? GT: Laughter isnt an emotion dickprince!

Not to mention you just called them ‘human emotions’ like a troll!

TT: I think you should back your claims up with proof before you go heaving around such accusations. GT: Man its so flipping obvious. GT: You start getting kind of extra technical and vague and automoton like. GT: And kind of aloof and brusque. GT: I mean... GT: Even aloofier and brusquier than usual! GT: Also you use the phrase "it seems" a lot. Its so silly it really blows the AI immersion man.

So basically the auto responder is Bro’s actual personality dialed up to eleven? Yeah, I’m totally getting ‘extra douchey’ Sollux vibes from all of this.

TT: Bullshit. TT: I'm being like, the perfect dude right now. A fully fucking legitimate human being. GT: Ok then check this out mr legit human dude. GT: Excuse me sir not to be a bother but could you please tell me all about this strider fellows auto responder? TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.

AHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck, I think I actually kind of like this kid.

TT: Unimpressed. TT: Logical fallacies are as pervasive throughout your argument as your antiquated verbal tics. GT: Oh yeah? GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast.

Not quite! I notice it was 96% indistinguishable last time.

GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh.

Hah. Is the auto responder just a series of pre-programmed answers, or is it really legit fucking with Jake’s head here?

GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!

WHAT

THE

FUCK???

GT: This is pointless im not having this conversation unless its with my REAL LIFE FRIEND. THE ONE WITH HUMAN FEELINGS WHO ISNT A PRETEND PERSON INSIDE SUNGLASSES.

Hmm, so the auto responder really is contained inside the shades. How does that even work without all of Sburb’s alchemizing gear? Well, I guess if he can build robots, it’s not so much of a stretch...

Teeheeeeeeeee. <3

He's just so infuriating sometimes! Or at least his responder is. Ok, the real Strider is too.

Dave’s irony and rad slang combined with Rose’s psychological bullshit, infuriating?? WHAT A SURPRISE.

There's barely any difference between them anyway. The responder just uses a few more generic response templates. And even those you suspect the AI is savvy enough to use on purpose for the sake of irony, or to get a rise out of you or whatever. That silicon bastard knows damn well what it's doing.

Hah, well that answers that question I guess. Did it purposefully give itself away?

You shed this ridiculous outfit because you look like an idiot. It's time to get serious here. No more fooling around. You need a more dignified looking computer. A thinking man's computer.

Dad’s Bing Crosby laptop?

> Jake: Wear skulltop.

Sigh.

Much better. You look like you mean business.

You look like a villainous tool!

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

Ah yes, this conversation, continued previously.

GT: I really need to ask him something but hes got his blasted auto responder turned on. GG: Hoo hoo. GG: I love that thing. :B

Huh, I wonder what kind of conversations Jane and the responder have together. Jane doesn’t seem like the type to put up with too much bullshit.

Seriously, what is the deal with the vine? Also I thought that can said ‘Korn’ for a second and flipped out.

You are curious about Jane's dream. Sounds like it almost certainly has to do with your imminent adventure. You'll have to remember to get the scoop on that a little later.

RRUUAAARRRGH.

You have to go downstairs to check something out. You are pretty sure you know what you're going to find though.

Well, that’s mysterious, and a bit ominous.

You almost trip on the vine creeping up the stairs. Stupid vine. It's too bad your grandma's dead. She always had a way with keeping the flora in check.

Hmm. I’ve been talking about how all their houses are the same as the original kids’, but Jake’s is actually rather different. Did her garden get super out of control in this universe?

OH MY GOD IT IS PUMPKINS. And... is that a dreambot capsule?

Yeah, just like you thought. Empty. The thing is out there somewhere. Waiting for you. Oh god.

How can it be waiting for him if he’s awake? :|a

Speak of the devil fucking dickens.

Heh heh. Only, when he said it before, he didn’t put a space in it, and now I’m picturing Satan sticking it to Charles Dickens. So thanks for that image, Hussie.

TT: Hey, it's me. GT: Oh hey! TT: The auto-responder, I mean. GT: Dammit!

Wow, I actually kind of feel bad for the auto responder, if it’s at all sentient.

GT: Dammit! GT: What is it now? TT: I'm just wondering, TT: If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist. TT: Because that's the sort of thing you would say. GT: In regard to what exactly? TT: To my proposal. Well, our proposal. GT: Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about.

So I know I just read what the proposal actually is, but I had a half second of ‘YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED’ before I caught on.

TT: Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him. TT: And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny.

AHAHAHA BECAUSE I LITERALLY JUST DID THAT. Is that also a reference to the curiously spaced ‘devil fucking dickins’ above?

GT: You mean making the rabbit for me? TT: No, I know you don't want that. TT: I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium. TT: Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock.

Hahaha. So, we know that SBaHJ exists as a movie in this universe, but it seems the comics somehow also exist, unchanged enough that Bro/his auto responder can quote them.

GT: Oh yeah. GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Oh jeez. Did Bro like... modify the dream bot or something?? Otherwise why/how the hell would it be hunting him???

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

Pahahahaha.

GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win. TT: It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat. TT: Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey.

Ok, there’s a few things going on here. Some assumptions we can make:

This uranium-powered robot Jake is looking for is going to try and fight him, a la Equius’s robots.

This has happened before.

Jake generally loses.

Also, I noticed the auto responder said ‘it seems’ again. And finally, “conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat” and “it’s all about the journey” sound AWFULLY like Hussie imparting to us some meta commentary about Homestuck itself. I’ve tried to keep away from ending spoilers as much as possible, but I’ve kind of pieced together that reactions to the ending were mixed. Was he sneakily trying to head off any disappointment at the pass here, by reminding us how much we’ve loved what came before?

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake? GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! GT: And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!! TT: It... TT: Appears TT: That you are upset.

...If that thing isn’t at least somewhat sentient and intentionally fucking with him, I’ll eat my douchey orange hat.

TT: The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible.

Bahahaha. Yep, I stand by that.

TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

...Hmm. Well, I was under the impression that the responder was contained entirely in the shades, but maybe it’s just shades connected to a remote robot body? Also, I really don’t think Jake’s got it right. If the thing is capable of purposefully fucking with him for its own enjoyment, it probably really is capable of emotion, insofar as it was programmed to experience it. Then again, what and why would Bro program it to feel?

TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.

Ohhh, I see. I could have just kept reading. So the responder really is contained within the glasses, and has specifically called itself an AI. This is cool; I love AI tropes! How did it get programmed? Does it resent the fact that it’s confined to a pair of shades? Does it follow Asimov’s laws? :D

TT: But you're wrong. TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks.

GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case. TT: No problem.

‘I’m sorry if I offended you’? That’s a pretty cop-out apology, but the shades don’t seem to mind.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me...

Well, I mean, the program is technically intended to replace Bro when he’s unavailable to chat, though Jake has a point about it insisting on its false identity.

GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy.

Not ‘person’ or ‘entity’? Damn, Jake, dass cold.

GT: Man where IS he anyway??? GT: Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers? TT: What can I say. TT: Dude fancies his ablutions.

[INSERT MASTURBATION JOKE]

GT: Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt! TT: Fuck yes. GT: Sigh... GT: But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Ok, so it’s NOT a dreambot; it is apparently some sort of... bro...bot that Bro sent him. Was it actually built for the express purpose of fucking with him?

AAAAAAH, ROBOT!! So either Bro really is in the shower, doing whatever (papping?), or else he’s actually a robot. I’m... guessing it’s the former. So who is this little guy? He’s wearing a hat like a tool, but he’s actually kinda cute. A sparring robot a la Equius?

TT: I didn't send it. I sent the parts. TT: Or, correction, DS sent them. TT: You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations. GT: Yeah whatever. TT: You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me. GT: I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!!

Hah. So maybe Bro’s robot isn’t a sparring bot, but Jake’s is, and he sucks at fighting it. Does he just suck at fighting in general, or is it a terrifying deathbot, and therefore justified?

TT: You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings. TT: I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS. GT: Yes. GT: I know. GT: Ive tried that. TT: Yeah? GT: Its just... GT: Well... GT: When hes pulling punches... GT: And taking it all easy and such... GT: And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot... GT: Umm. TT: What. GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become... GT: A bit tender for my liking.

Oh dear god.

TT: I don't understand. TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting? TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?

Oh, don’t play dumb; you know exactly what he meant.

GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking. GT: Just the way he... GT: Sort of... GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind. TT: No, I think I get it. TT: You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space.

Huh, so is the “brobot” an extension of the AI’s awareness? Can it actually control the robot body? In which case, maybe it’s just the auto responder who has a thing for Jake. Is this some kind of ‘if only I were a real boy’ thing? A Pinocchio metaphor certainly wouldn’t be inapropos. Or should I say, INAPROBRO?? :D :D :D

TT: Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you? TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

Eeeecchhhhh. I think I just crossed my legs harder.

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.

Is that a thinly veiled ‘shove it up your ass’? :P

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.

Is this ironic aggravation, or real aggravation? It’s honestly hard to tell.

GT: Fuckin....... GT: SHUCKS buster. :(

Ahahahaha.

Ok if he wants happy hunting you will GIVE him happy hunting. HAPPILY.

Woo woooooo!! I have no idea where this will go, but he already seems like a much more self-assured Page than Tavros was. Unfortunately we’ll have to wait just a bit to see how it turns out, because that’s all from me for today! I’ve got weekend work coming up (booo) but I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I’m able, and there’s still plenty of fanwork fest backlog I can chip away at.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 66 #Act 6 #A6A1

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