#heiji always comes home for a hug

[reddbl]

Take a break~

[gisachi]

Can you do a Shinran fic for the prompt: "Can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home." Only if you want to, no hurry, whenever you have time. Love u so much😘😘😘

I strayed away from the prompt, but the idea is still there, I think. 😘

Shinichi finds himself pacing back and forth the lobby of their empty house. Earlier that morning, Ran said she’d leave office early and be home before supper. Yet he still arrived earlier than her, and it’s 7pm.

It’s easy for that cryptic one-word mail from his wife to leave everything to his imagination.

It shouldn’t be too grave, else she would’ve speed-dialed an S.O.S. as per their protocol, to alert him that she’s in serious trouble. Even so, worry gets the best of him, especially when he mailed eight replies and has so far received none back. Even calls cannot connect. Kidnapped? Vehicular accident? Tripped onto your nose and you blacked out after mailing me? Number two in a public toilet without reception and you have no supplies? What “Emergency” do you mean, Ran?!

“Damn...” He paces and paces, nails subject to his relentless chewing. While he trusts his wife so much to know that she can protect herself with her limbs, that doesn’t entirely make his anxiousness go away because truly, no response means many things. Anything can happen, for better or worse. He of all people should know.

Then, the door knob jiggles. From the other side, he hears faint sounds of voices and giggles.

-

“I know I can always count on ya, Ran-chan,” Kazuha chimes, sweet and a little apologetic as she walks alongside Ran to the Kudou residence. “It’s, err, all too sudden.”

“Mou, what did I tell you, Kazuha-chan? Your Maid of Honor will always be on call.” She flashes Kazuha a genuine beam, reassuring the woman that her presence is very much welcome in Tokyo, even if her arrival is unannounced. “I should be glad work is bringing you here sometimes.”

“Same, same!” They stop at the lighted front porch. “But are ya sure Kudou-kun won’t mind me dropping by?"

“Oh, pssh. He’s probably still at work. And I mailed him although I don’t know if everything had been sent before my phone died.” Internally, she prays that he’s home before her and has hidden the bespoke wedding crest in their living room up their room, in fear of spoiling their wedding gift to the Hattori couple early. If not, then she’ll just direct the bride-to-be to the kitchen and she’ll hide the crest away from her sight.

Finding the front door locked, Ran fiddles for her masterkeys. “Either way, I’m sure he’s easily deduced that my battery died and I did errands after work. You know how they are, Kazuha-chan,” she giggles while rolling her eyes, “detectives.”

"I feel ya there. Heiji likes to make all sorts of deductions about the most mundane things, like where and what I ate for dinner. Kudou-kun isn’t a different species, I guess.”

"Hah! I bet you he isn’t.” They giggle even more.

She is about to insert the key into the lock when the door violently swings open.

“Jesus Christ, Ran!”

“Oh, Shinichi! You’re hom—”

She cannot finish her sentence, not when her lungs are suddenly crushed by her husband’s - really, there’s no other way to call it - glomp.

“Shin...i...?!”

“Ran! Do you know how freaking worried I was? I— why weren’t you answering?! Jee-... Ran, oh god. I’m so...ggh,” he drowns her with frantic kisses over her hair and forehead, arms not letting her escape from his soul-crushing hug, “Goodness, god, thank god you’re okay... You’re not hurt. Shit—”

Discombobulated to her toes, Ran remains unmoving, as if she has any other choice. “...Shinichi,” she wheezes in his ear, the only thing she can do at the moment, “can I at least shut the d—”

“Noo. I’m not done with you.”

“Um...Shini- wait—”

The littered kisses are insistent, like a loyal puppy kissing his owner everywhere on the face after a long day away. Ran feels like she’s going to explode from the odd mix of love and shame, because hey, she’s thoroughly enjoying his warmth, but there's an extra pair of eyes here. An extra pair of eyes!

“Shinichi!”

Shinichi halts at that, finally meeting her red face and apprehensive eyes that seem to be pointing his attention vaguely to her right.

“What are you...” He’s not getting it, he’s an idiot for not getting it, and she has to mouth it for him to get it. And then, “Oh... H-Hi. Kazuha-san.”

He shoots Ran a questioning look after that, which she doesn’t get why because she’s the one supposed to be giving him that.

“...Kazuha-chan is joining us for dinner before she catches the shinkansen back to Osaka,” Ran explains, soft in the ear but the bite is there for Shinichi to hear. “Since she hasn’t been to our house, we decided to buy food for us three and eat here.”

“I’m sorry to startle ya, Kudou-kun!” the flustered Osakan bows apologetically, and Shinichi returns with an equally timid bow.

“N-No, I should be saying sorry for, uh...” he clears his throat, turns red on the neck, and that’s how Ran knows his rashness earlier is finally getting to him.

And her.

And Kazuha.

Oh god, this is embarrassing.

Not wanting the awkwardness to last even longer (it’s killing all three of them), Ran initiates the speak. “Let’s heat up the food first, Kazuha-chan!” She grabs the woman by the wrist and drags her inside the mansion. “And Shinichi,” she turns around, voice becoming lower, “Gift. Hide it,” and pecks him on the cheek.

Only when they’re finally inside does Kazuha elbow Ran gently, divulging, “Ya know what, Ran-chan, Heiji and Kudou-kun...are definitely of the same species.”

[trouvelle]

Your headcanons 😍 Do you have any for heikazu in quarantine? Or maybe the other couples?

Headcanons? I always do 😻  ShinRan, HeiKazu, MakoSono: Quarantine Edition!

Shinichi and Ran

Every morning is spent lazily in bed together. Sleepy Shinichi, caressing Ran and her soft skin while giving her kisses. She’ll probably want to get ready for the day but his sweet sleepiness makes her stay longer. How can she resist his sleepy face 🥺

Shinichi will surprise her with cute stay-at-home dates. He’ll prepare an indoor picnic date and go on a virtual tour of his favorite museums.

Shinichi will be busy reading/studying and Ran will often physically drag him out so he doesn’t forget to eat. That one time when Ran asks him to come out to the dining room because food is ready and then Shinichi, too engrossed in whatever he’s reading, absentmindedly yells back: “Be right there, Ran neechan!”

and everything goes silent for a while.

Quarantine is their prime time for displays of affection! Kisses everywhere, holding hands and many hugs from behind. 

They’re both BIG softies, so it’s easy for them to spend hours just cuddling and talking.

Cuddling and watching the TV.

Cuddling and doing anything, really. 

All while he is gently rubbing her arm, back, thigh, anywhere really, because he simply loves touching her and she does too.

On rainy days the two would sit by the window with warm cups of drink ☕ and watch the rain, talking about their past and future.

Heiji and Kazuha

At first the idea of quarantining with Kazuha makes Heiji a nervous wreck. He will claim that he hates having to quarantine with her but really, he’s just scared to death that he’s gonna blurt out that he likes her by accident during quarantine and not by any with a great scenery, without any of the grand romantic schemes he already has in mind.

As if Heiji needs another cockblocker.

Well, they don’t actually quarantine alone. The Hattori and Toyama residences are within a pretty close distance so Heiji and Kazuha just go to each other’s houses every day.

Hattori Heiji? Never a dull moment with this boy. He’s always doing something. They’ll probably have scavenger hunts around the house. Then he’ll hide some cute things like chocolates but when she finds them, they’re melted 🍫😩

Kazuha suggests making a time capsule that they can open in ten years. He says that it’s pointless and troublesome but does it with her anyway.

When Kazuha shows him videos of a restaurant in Tokyo that supposedly has many delicious dishes that she wants to try, Heiji tries to sneak away to Tokyo the next day to get them for her. But Heizō catches him and won’t let him go because it’s still too risky. 

So Heiji attempts to cook for her instead. Multiple times. He asks his mom if she can help, and when his mom suspiciously asks why, he’ll come up with a dumb excuse. Of course Shizuka knows.

And of course something goes wrong during their cooking sessions; either something gets burned, things are looking oddly shaped, or just tastes kinda off overall. Kazuha picks up on it pretty quickly but to hide her happiness, she pretends that she’s annoyed at his cooking and teases him 😒

Sonoko and Makoto

Sonoko is so giddy and excited and will probably attack Makoto with hugs and smooches right as he walks in the door.

They’re literally be the happiest couple on Earth because they have all this alone time with each other, since they don’t normally get to spend a lot of time together on a daily basis anyway.

Sonoko, overjoyed knowing she gets to spend all day and everyday with Makoto, prepares super romantic and cute things like couple pajamas and robes for lounging around all day. (Maybe even couple undies/lingerie)

Listen, Makoto is not only a master martial artist and the world’s gentlest boyfriend — he is also a really good chef 😍  Sonoko is literally the luckiest girl.

Therefore, Makoto’s the one who cooks lots of delicious meals. Doesn’t matter that Sonoko has her own cook. He loves that she’s there with him because he’s happy he can share all his meals with her.

Makoto likes to be praised by her (and she’s not shy in doing so). Though he’s quiet as always, he watches her in excitement as she taste the food he makes. His face literally lights up with his box smile as she inhales the food.

Makoto knows how to give good massages. 

And he’ll spoil her by doing sweet things for her like drawing a nice hot bath with essential oils (for an extra mile, he scatters flower petals in the bathtub for her) ❤️️

[jaroslavlewis]

The Same Old You: Down Memory Lane

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Title: The Same Old You

Chapter 3: Down Memory Lane

Author: Jaroslav Lewis

Fandom: Detective Conan

Pairing: ShinRan with slight KazuHei

Summary: Time has passed for them to believe that they have changed only for them to realize that some things haven't. Some things just don't.

Chapter Summary: Some things left unsaid are spoken when booze comes into action.

Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan and any of Gosho Aoyama's characters. I simply borrow them when I'm bored.

Perhaps the hug is able to lead them to a good start.

The ride home is not as awkward as they both thought it could be. It is quieter than their usual interactions back in the day, but the familiarity between them shows to exists and allows them to be more comfortable with each other despite the years of distance and lack of communication.

On their way to the hotel, they sit next to each other on the back seat of the cab. They have the opportunity to do a little bit of catching up. Ran talks about how pursuing law sucked the life out of her and practically made her social life disappear. Shinichi tells her about moving to New York after college in UCLA, the fast-paced life there and the never-ending cases in the NYPD.

They both realize that they have indeed have come a long way and they are happy for each other. There is a fondness between them, they both can't quite explain. But they feel lighter. Almost as if ten years' worth of emotional baggage is flushed down the drain.

They arrive at the hotel shortly. They hardly even notice since they are having a good time. Shinichi pays for the cab despite Ran's insisting of splitting the bill fair and square. He tells her that he has already caused her a lot of trouble and paying for their fare is the least he could do for her.

Ran is silenced but she smiles at his kind gesture. She feels giddy with the mere thought of being with him and him being such a gentleman towards her but she does not admit it, not even to herself.

Shinichi pulls out his luggage from the compartment, making Ran snap out of her thoughts. She approaches to help him but he tells her he's fine. The cab leaves and they both enter the fancy hotel in Nankai that Heiji and Kazuha booked for them for their convenience since it is where the reception will be held.

They ride the elevator to the floor. Ran takes out Shinichi's key card from her satchel bag and hands it over to him, their fingers brush against each other's. They both shiver at the brief contact. Their eyes meet. Shinichi smiles and so does she.

Then the elevator bell rings. The door opens and they snap out of their reverie and gesture to leave the elevator to stroll the floor. Ran accompanies Shinichi to his hotel room, they stop just by his door. Silence fills the air in a deafening manner.

"Well, if you need anything, I'm just right next door with Sonoko and Sera-chan." Ran says, fidgeting awkwardly.

Shinichi nods as he swipes his keycard, opening the door to his hotel room.

Ran turns away to do the same to her hotel room door, just adjacent to his.

"Hey…" Shinichi clears his throat, making her stop on her tracks. She turns towards him again, giving him her full attention. He scratches his head sheepishly.

"I really had a great time today. Thanks for fetching me at the airport when Hattori bailed on me." Shinichi continues. Ran sees sincerity in his eyes. She smiles a bright one, making his heart flutter against his chest.

"Sure. I had a great time too." She tells him. Shinichi feels relieved. He pauses for a moment to steel his nerve, catching his breath and mustering the courage to speak again. Now it is his time to fidget as he places his hands in his pockets.

"You wanna get lunch? Or coffee? My treat. I'll just put my stuff in my room and we'll go…" Shinichi asks. There is a clear hint of nervousness in his tone which Ran takes note of. She is stunned by the sudden invitation. Her mouth runs dry as she is speechless, not knowing how to respond to his offer.

'Is he asking me out on a date?' She gives it a thought. Now an adult, Ran is not as dense as she once was before but she also did not want to jump into conclusions and just assume things.

Shinichi on the other hand is panicking deep inside because of Ran's lack of response. He gives himself a mental kick on the ass once again, thinking that he did a huge mistake of making things awkward for the two of them.

'Smooth move, Sherlock.' He scolds himself.

Then he thinks hard and fast to turn the situation backwards.

"I just really want to say thank you." Shinichi reasons out. "Also, I owe you some sort of long-overdue celebration, right? For when you passed the bar exams and became a successful lawyer that you are now?"

Ran's heart flutters, remembering how back in the day Shinichi always took her out on a not-so date kind of date for her little milestones. But for some reason, she feels a little bit of disappointment kick in, almost as if she wants him to…

But she shrugs such thoughts away, thinking that it would be inappropriate.

"Sure. I'll wait for you here." She responds, putting her keycard back in her satchel. Shinichi opens the door to his hotel and places his luggage inside but just the door next to the cabinet in his room. He only takes his wallet, phone and key card with him as he leaves his room, meeting Ran again by the hallway.

Just as they proceed to leave, Ran's phone vibrates and produces a soft ring. She checks it and finds a message from Kazuha.

Meet us at Midosuji Grand Tower near Shinsaibashi ASAP. We're on our way to Ever After Clothing Shop to pick up the dresses and the tuxedos. Bring Sonoko-chan, Sera-chan and Kudo-kun for the fitting. Thank you!

-Kazuha and Heiji

"I guess lunch will have to hold. Wedding duties." Ran tells Shinichi, showing him Kazuha's text. He nods in response. Ran places her phone in her bag again and takes out her card key to enter her hotel room to wake Sonoko and Sera up.

The boutique is just ten minutes away from their hotel so they all decide to walk. On the way, Sonoko keeps on side eyeing at the former couple giving them suggestive looks. Shinichi is able to keep his cool and the same goes for Ran being able to maintain her composure. But as soon as they reach the destination to meet the betrothed couple at the nearby wedding boutique, the two can't help but let out a sigh of relief.

Kazuha and Heiji are both enthusiastic as they greet them when they enter the shop. Heiji gives Shinichi a good, one-armed brotherly hug.

"Kudo! It's great to see ya'!" Heiji says pulling away with a grin. Shinichi in turn glares at him, not forgetting that his best friend totally bailed on him at the airport earlier.

"Shut up, Hattori." Shinichi responds, half-jokingly. Heiji exaggeratedly places a hand on his chest and acts as if he has been hurt.

"So cold of you man." Heiji says, chuckling. Shinichi smiles and playfully punches him on the shoulder.

Kazuha informs them that the boutique staff are still sorting out the dresses and tuxedos and it may take a while. Soon Sonoko, Sera, Ran and Kazuha separate from Shinichi and Heiji so that they could all go to their respective changing sections.

The girls enter a huge, glamorous walk-in closet filled with ready-to-wear wedding dresses. Ran gasps in awe at the number of intricately designed fabric around her. She sighs a dreamy one and Sonoko does too. Sera sits on the couch with an uninterested look on her face. Kazuha smirks knowingly.

"You guys want to do something to kill time while we're waiting?" Kazuha asks suggestively making both Ran and Sonoko turn to her with big smiles on their faces like they could easily tell what Kazuha's thinking.

"Can we really?" Sonoko asks excitedly, like a child in a toy store. Kazuha chuckles and nods approvingly. Immediately, Sonoko gets all riled up and grabs Ran's wrist and Sera's arm. Ran is startled and Sera whines but gets dragged in anyway.

Kazuha sits on the couch since she already has a dress picked out and altered to her liking. She giggles as she watches her friends while resting for, she has had an exhausting agenda the whole day.

Sonoko hyperactively picks a lot of dresses to try. Ran on the other hand, takes interest in one that immediately catches her eye. While Sera is taking her sweet time looking for a dress that will enhance her figure.

"Can you guys help me find a dress that will actually make my boobs look like they exist?" Sera pleads desperately making the other girls giggle. Ran and Sonoko immediately rush to her aid until they find a suiting dress for her to wear.

It takes them a few minutes to change into their chosen dresses to try. Soon, they all come out of their respective changing rooms. Kazuha applauds them supportively, thinking that they all looked beautiful in their dresses but she also notes that there is one of them that totally stood out.

Shinichi looks at himself in the mirror, inspecting the fit of his get-up. He is wearing a white button up shirt, with grey formal vest, blazer and pants. Wrapped around his neck is a mint green bowtie. Heiji gives him a two-thumbs up as a compliment. Shinichi smirks, liking the fit of his clothes. He is about to change back into his normal clothes when a giddy squeal catches their attention.

They recognize Kazuha's voice. It makes them come out of the men's walk-in closet to come and rush to where girls are, slightly considering that some murder has occurred but they also take note of how happy the squeal sounded like so it may not be the reason.

"Oi! Why are you girls so loud huh?" Heiji asks entering with Shinichi finding the ladies gushing over wedding dresses. They take note of the bridesmaids trying on some.

"Makoto better see me in this!" Sonoko says, lifting her phone to take a selfie. Sera offers to take a full body photo of her and she poses.

Shinichi chuckles upon observing the two bridesmaids. He expects Sonoko to try a dress on, but he found it very out of character for Sera to put on one too. His soft laughter soon fades into silence as soon as his gaze meets a lovely sight before him.

The world seems to stop before him as he is mesmerized by her presence. Her beautiful form is wrapped in a lace-embellished, A-line wedding dress. He marvels in the sight of her in a dress so elegant that it made her look like a goddess, not that she doesn't already. The dress hugs her curves perfectly, not to mention that the v-neckline is cut quite deeply showing a teasing glimpse of her décolletage area. Shinichi's mouth runs dry and he unconsciously gulps, feeling an immense thirst for her. Suddenly she is all he could see. Fantasies from when he was seventeen years old come rushing back to him. He remembers imagining Ran in a wedding dress and how it has always been a sight he'd want to see. She always looked beautiful whenever he thinks about her, but seeing her right then and there before him, he realizes beautiful is such an understatement.

Shinichi swears he'd marry her in a heartbeat…

If only he could.

Ran blushes a deep shade of crimson as her eyes meet with his. Shinichi's stare is so intense that she swears he could melt her into a puddle. Unknown to Shinichi, she is also silently admiring how godly he looks in his tux. He always did look good in such clothes. Ran often saw him in them. She always thought that he looked like a modern-day prince and even more so now that his features are more mature and more refined.

"Ah. Nee-chan, a groom is all you're missing." Heiji comments with a wide grin on his face, making Ran snap out of her reverie. She blushes when he mischievously turns to Kudo with a knowing look on his face. "Ain't that right, Kudo?

Shinichi nods, still in a daze as his eyes stay glued to her. It takes a while for him to notice that his best friend is teasing him. He turns away to hide his blushing face, thinking to himself,

'Yeah. Some lucky guy he's gonna be…'

With only two days left until the wedding, the best man and maid of honor are left doing last-minute errands for the upcoming bachelor and bachelorette parties for the groom and the bride. The pressure is on for both Shinichi and Ran. It seizes to be their most important task yet, other than making sure that Heiji and Kazuha wouldn't go groom-zilla and bride-zilla days before and on the wedding day itself.

They sit across each other in a restaurant in Nankai. After working on the necessary preparations, they decide to get lunch while going through the important details for the upcoming parties.

"What's Kazuha-chan's take on hiring strippers for Hattori?" Shinichi asks making Ran jolt from her seat and kick his leg from under the table. He flinches at the violent reaction.

"If you are getting them to separate before they even get married then by all means…" Ran comments in a sarcastic manner.

"Jeez. I just asked. Just trying to make sure all things are fair since you might hire male strippers for the bride." Shinichi teases.

"Like I would ever do that!" Ran retorts, her face turning crimson red in embarrassment.

"Maybe you won't but Sonoko would." Shinichi reasons out, chuckling before he takes a sip of his black coffee.

"Not on my watch. Besides, shouldn't you keep tabs on Hattori-kun's other friends. They might be on to something." Ran counters, taking a sip of her own. Shinichi takes note of how back in the day she used to like her coffee with lots of cream and sugar but now it is just different. Ran takes notice of Shinichi's curious stare. She doesn't need to ask what he is thinking. She gulps down the bitter taste of the warm coffee and sets her cup aside just a few seconds after he does to his own.

"Law school made me switch to black." She tells him. He is impressed by her ability to read him. "The creaminess and sweetness just don't work anymore, you know? The bitterness helps me stay awake…"

He wonders if she is still talking about the coffee. Silence lingers between the two of them. It takes a while for Shinichi to speak.

"Seems like there are a lot of new things about you now…"

'New things I now don't know of…'

"Not as new as New York though…" Ran comments winking and lifting her cup of coffee up, gesturing for a toast which he grants as he lifts his own to clink against hers. He gives her a half-hearted smile.

"How long 'til you go back?" She asks. She feels a lingering pain in her heart as she waits for an answer from him. He thinks hard as if counting the days in his head.

"About four days. Two days after Hattori and Kazuha-chan's wedding." He answers with a heavy heart. He notices how her expression softens, almost like she suddenly seems lonely about it, about him going away again. As stupid as it may seem, he feels hopeful and waits to hear it from her lips, wishing that this time, she'd ask him to stay but instead she just nods.

"I see…" She reacts, her voice fading into silence as she looks away from him before taking a small bite out of her Grilled Bacon Tomato and Cheddar Panini sandwich. Shinichi says nothing in return hiding the clear disappointment that he feels and taking it on his Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich, biting on to it so hard.

She waits for him to say a word, but he doesn't and instead he just eats to his heart's content. Silence continues to fill the air until a phone ring startles them. Shinichi jerks back in response recognizing the ring tone and feeling his phone vibrate from his pocket. He takes his mobile out of the left pocket of his jeans and finds Jess's name on the screen requesting to video chat.

He answers the call with curiosity and wonders if she needs help on a certain case.

"Hey, Jess. What's up?" He answers in English, startling Ran with how his Asian accent is almost gone as he speaks. "Any case you want me to look in to?"

She realizes that the amount of time he spent in the foreign country has already allowed him to adapt well into speaking the language so fluently. Then it makes her think about how much of his life he has already spent there. Suddenly, it all sinks in to her, how different this Shinichi is before her and how far he has already spread his wings that maybe, his heart doesn't even have much space for Japan anymore. Because otherwise, why would it take so long for him to come back?

She watches him holding his phone in front, talking to someone whom she assumes is from New York, video chatting with him. She could not help but eavesdrop. It is shameful for her but what could she do with him just sitting in front of her as he talks. She also takes notice of the voice of whom he is talking to, she notes that it is a woman. She can't help but wonder about who she may be and what her relationship is with him?

Unlike him, she isn't as fluent with the language but she understands it pretty well and she knows how to speak it, given that she attentively pays attention in their English language class when she was a student.

"Come on, Jess. What the hell do you want?" Shinichi asks chuckling, his tone sounds playful almost like he is flirting with her. Ran couldn't help but be intrigued.

"I just want those weird-flavored KitKats you have there that we don't have here." The caller answers. "Oh and matcha-flavored Pocky please!"

"Damn. You called for just that? Tsk." Shinichi rolls his eyes. "Alright. I have to go, I'm having lunch with someone."

Ran notes that he just referred to her as merely someone. She wonders if he doesn't want to elaborate because he might make the other person upset that he is having lunch with his ex. And there she was, having such envious thoughts about them. She feels guilty and pathetic because at the back of her head she knows she has no right to feel such way.

"Why are you in a hurry? Are you having lunch date with a girl?" Jess teases, making Shinichi blush. Ran who hears it also does.

"Yes I am. So, can you please just go?" Shinichi snaps, clearly annoyed. He turns half of his body around to change the angle of the camera and show Jess a glimpse of Ran who is sitting right in front of him eating lunch. Ran's focus immediately turns onto the woman in the screen. She had brown hair and brown eyes. She is very pretty that it makes her feel so small but more than anything, Ran suddenly becomes alarmed by Shinichi's words. She worries that the girl might misunderstand so she leans forward to reach him and tap him warningly on the shoulder.

"It's not like that…" Ran squeaks shyly in English as well, her adorable accent peaking through as she speaks. Jess on the other hand, smiles at her through the camera.

"Hi there! I'm Jess! You must be Ran! Kudo has told me some stuff about you!" Jess greets cheerfully. Ran is stunned. Shinichi's eyes widen in shock and gives Jess a warning look.

"Kudo has told me some stuff about you." Jess' words ring in Ran's ears repeatedly.

'What kind of stuff?' Ran thinks to herself but does not ask.

"Well, we're going now, Jess. See you in 4 days. Bye!" Shinichi dismisses swiftly and hangs up, afraid that his colleague would continue spilling more of his secrets.

He lets out a sigh of relief once the call has been ended and then quickly shoves his phone back inside his pocket, turning back to Ran who is finishing off her Panini bread with furrowed eyebrows as if her mind is off elsewhere.

"Well that was Jess. My colleague." He explains defensively, giving her a sheepish grin. He also scratches the back of his head in an awkward manner. Ran watches his rattled demeanor with eyes bearing on to him like lasers. "We're just friends."

"Shinichi, you don't have to explain anything to me." Ran says shutting him up with an obvious point. "And you didn't have to tell her that you and I are having a lunch date together, she might get a different idea."

Shinichi mutters an apology and then shuts up, looking down at his food, finishing it up without enthusiasm as he suddenly feels his appetite faltering along with his dignity.

The men's merriment begins in a reserved resto bar in Shinsaibashi courtesy of Shinichi. He stands by Heiji who entertains his guests, friends of all sorts: some he met in high school, in college and even police officers that both he and Shinichi know of. They all dine and have wine, talking about all good times with Heiji and how now he is moving forward with his life and finally settling down.

His high school friends even joke around, saying that though Heiji and Kazuha had always been an item in the campus, they never expected their relationship to go so far considering their numerous heated arguments.

"Arguing brings spice to our relationship!" Heiji says jokingly before he chugs his bottle of beer. Shinichi laughs half-heartedly, thinking whether or not he and Ran didn't argue enough to finish strong just like Heiji and Kazuha.

The ladies nearby start the night in a very mellow mood, getting to know each other and talking about Kazuha and Heiji over wine and cheese. The guests ask Kazuha about how Heiji proposed to her and although Ran has heard the story a dozen times she still listens with a smile.

Kazuha tells everyone of how Heiji took her to the Umeda Sky Building and asked for her hand in marriage in the cheesiest way possible. The guests gush and Ran's head drifts to an old memory of when Shinichi took her to the Beika Central Tower on what was actually a date but back then she was too dense to even notice that it was. The thought sends butterflies in her stomach and makes her smile as she remembers how fidgety he was when he attempted to confess to her. Then when they started dating her revealed to her that he brought her there because it is a special place for him because it is where his dad proposed to his mom.

Since then she always thought of him as a romantic and up to now, she still does even if he continues to deny so. She wonders how things could have gone if their relationship lasted long enough to merit a marriage proposal but she shrugs the thought away, thinking that it is inappropriate for her to even wonder about the past, about the what ifs.

Then she thinks about how Shinichi would propose to someone else, to some lucky girl who would actually be a million times better and deserving than she is. She pictures Jess and Shinichi together. In her head she admits that they'd make a great couple but her heart aches at the thought.

As the night passes, they play all sorts of drinking games, they consume more alcohol and the partying grows wilder everyone is having fun and starting to feel tipsy. Soon the guests become mindful of the time and of their alcohol intake since tomorrow is gonna be a big day and they don't want things to go ugly because of their hangover, they bid the bride goodbye and give her their best wishes, leaving Ran, Sonoko, Sera and Kazuha herself at the bar to tidy up.

"I wonder how Heiji and Kudo-kun are doing." Kazuha says curiously as she takes down some decorations that Ran set up for her to place it in a big paper bag.

Ran's expression shifts into a conscious one as ears perk up at the mention of Shinichi's name. Sera takes notice of her behavior and smirks.

"Speaking of Kudo, care to tell us what's going on between you two, ne Ran-chan." Sera says teasingly making Ran blush a thousand shades of red than when she already is because of the alcohol in her system.

"Cut it out you guys. We're good friends. Obviously." Ran dismissing the topic in a very defensive manner.

"You sure there isn't anything brewing in there? Some old feelings resurfacing, perhaps?" Sonoko asks with a Cheshire cat grin.

Ran is unable to speak as Kazuha joins in with the teasing as well.

"There's still something there, obviously. Not just with you, but with him as well. Did you see the way he looked at you when you tried on the wedding dress? He looked like he'd want to marry you in it!" Kazuha comments. For a brief moment, an image pops into Ran's head, her walking down the aisle and Shinichi waiting for her at the end of it wearing a fine tux. She shakes her head, concluding that the alcohol is definitely messing with her head.

"More like he'd want to strip you off of it. Sexual tension was so real!" Sonoko points out bluntly. Ran feels her face heat up even more. She glares at Sonoko and scolds her for being so vulgar.

Heiji's peers have already gone home, leaving him and Shinichi drinking the last of their beers together.

"Now that we're alone… What are your plans with Nee-chan?" Heiji asks curiously before bringing the bottle to his lips, taking a swig. Shinichi shakes his head, staring into a blank space as he drinks from his own bottle.

"Nothing. What is there to even do?" Shinichi sighs. "It has been a decade. It's time we moved on and she's clearly better off with someone else…"

"What about you?" Heiji asks, raising an eyebrow at his friend who looks at him questioningly as a response. "Not gonna lie to ya' Kudo. There's no better than Neechan, not for you…"

Shinichi chuckles dejectedly as he stares at his bottle, avoiding Heiji's concerned gaze. He holds onto it but he does not drink, thinking that he already had too much. Instead, his grip tightens in restraint, trying to hold back certain thoughts but he fails in doing so.

"You're right…" He finally admits, nodding as he turns to Heiji with a sad look on his face as if accepting defeat. "No one would ever be…"

He earns a hard pat on the shoulder from Heiji and he flinches at the impact.

"Come with me." Heiji says standing from his seat and grabbing his coat. Shinichi looks at him with a confused expression but he stands as well, leaving his bottle on the counter.

"What?" He asks, unable to comprehend what his best friend is about to do.

"Party's not over." Heiji answers briefly. Shinichi''s confused expression remains. He wonders if Heiji's statement is incomprehensible or if the alcohol has already messed with his brain completely. He pauses before he comes up with a reply.

"Hattori, your wedding day is tomorrow. Shouldn't you be getting, I don't know… A beauty rest by now?" He asks whiningly making Heiji roll his eyes in frustration.

"This won't take a while. Just think of this as your wedding present for me and Kazuha." Heiji grins a mischievous one, making Shinichi gulp.

Shinichi knows Heiji is on to something and he knows he isn't gonna like what he has in mind.

They play beer pong in Heiji and Kazuha's apartment. Turns out the couple planned an after party for their closest friends, to celebrate their last night hanging out with them as a non-married couple.

It is East fighting against West, Shinichi and Ran, against Heiji and Kazuha with the game being facilitated by Sonoko and Sera who watch intensely since both teams have tied, one cup against one cup.

It is Shinichi's turn to shoot the ball. He folds his sleeves up to get better aim. He keeps his eyes on Heiji's last cup. His sight is being blurry almost like he is seeing two cups in front of him. He easily concludes that he has already had too much to drink. He curses under his breath as he looks at Heiji who smirks at him intimidatingly. Shinichi swears that the couple is definitely doing him and Ran dirty.

They are clearly on to something he just can't put his finger on yet.

Right next to Shinichi is Ran, cheering him on and praying to whoever the beer pong gods are, hoping they'd win because she knows that if they'd lose, Heiji and Kazuha are definitely going to have something in store for the two of them.

Shinichi waits for his vision to steady and then he takes the shot. He watches in anticipation as the ball flies in the air and descends down to Heiji and Kazuha's side of the table.'

'Come on!' He silently prays as the ball drops.

Then it misses by an inch. Shinichi curses. Kazuha cheers as Heiji gets ready to throw the ball onto Shinichi and Ran's last cup. He does it without much hesitation. Shinichi's eyes follow the ball as it floats in the air and then goes down…

Until it shoots right inside his cup.

Heiji and Kazuha high-five each other while Shinichi and Ran stare at the cup in terror, waiting for the winning couple to give them the consequence for their loss.

Shinichi curses under his breath as he takes the ball out of the cup to drink chug down the beer. There is no way he is making Ran drink more.

'Damn that Hattori. He knows my alcohol tolerance isn't up to par with his.'

"All right we have a clear winner!" Sonoko cheers, clapping her hands together. "Which means, it's time for Shinichi and Ran's consequence!"

Sonoko giggles playfully as she sets up the table, placing a deck of cards, shot glasses, a bottle of Paikaru and orange juice for a chaser. Shinichi frowns as he sits in front of Ran who has a worried expression on her face. Sera stands next to Sonoko ready to explain the mechanics.

"So here's what's gonna happen." She begins. "Because you guys lost, you are gonna play truth or drink. From this deck of cards you guys will take turns in picking until you've each picked four cards. Each card contains a question for your partner who has to answer otherwise, will have to take a shot to get out of answering the question."

"Also, you guys are not allowed to lie. We'll know if you're not telling the truth…" Heiji warns.

Shinichi and Ran both nod.

"Alright, let's just get this over with…" Shinichi says, his mind spinning from exhaustion and of tipsiness.

"So, who goes first?" Sonoko asks.

"Ladies first…" Shinichi says with a smirk as he looks at Ran and silently drowns himself at the adorable sight of her, pouting as she sulks. He unconsciously bites his lips at the sight of her pinkish lips and cheeks which are crimson due to her alcohol intake.

Ran reaches for a card on the table with nibble fingers. She lets out a deep sigh, calming her nerves as she focuses her eyes on the text of her chosen card. Her face heats up even more as she reads the text with her eyes first.

She looks at Shinichi who is watching her with much patience. She maintains her composure despite how her palms are sweating due to anxiety. Suddenly she feels the need to drink to calm herself down.

"What do my lips taste like?" She asks him in a tone that almost sounded like a shy little squeak. Shinichi couldn't help but smile as he marvels at her adorable presence, thinking to himself how unfair it is for a woman like her to look so adorable and sexy at the same time.

He thinks hard about his answer and opens a trunk of old memories in his head, waking his sleeping senses, reminiscing all those times he tasted her lips when he kissed her hard, back when they were in high school. They rarely displayed their affection publicly. The most intimate that other people have seen of them was holding hands or hugging, a kiss on the cheek at the most. But when they were alone, they were pretty intimate but of course, they never went far beyond making out. They were too young then and they weren't ready.

Suddenly Shinichi feels a deep sense of longing. His eyes dart on Ran's luscious lips and he gulps down his saliva in thirst, craving to have another taste of her.

Then he remembers where they are and he remembers her question. He blinks back and shakes his head, to wake himself up from his reverie, thinking to himself how dangerous the effect alcohol has on him.

"They taste like strawberries…" He answers. Ran feels her heart beat against her chest so rapidly.

"Well this should be interesting…" Heiji comments, chuckling. Kazuha snickers. Sonoko and Sera have curious grins on their faces.

"You always used those flavored lip gloss things…" He says, laughing and Ran does too, remembering how great it was to be young and exploring the wonders of life, using cheap teens' make up and kissing a guy that all the girls' in Teitan High had a huge crush on. She also can't help but feel touched with how Shinichi remembers such little details about her.

She wonders if it's a detective thing.

'Guess it still pays to love a deduction nut. Despite everything…' She thinks to herself.

It is Shinichi's turn this time. So, he reaches for a card in the middle of the table and meets Ran's gaze who watches him intently. Shinichi stares at the text on the card. He takes time to focus on the letters since his vision is getting blurry again.

"Has anyone ever seen you naked accidentally?" He asks, laughing as soon as he finishes reading. Ran's eyes widen and she places her hands over her blushing cheeks. She frowns at him and pouts as he smirks at her knowingly.

"Yes, and you did! You, asshole. I will never forgive you for it!" She tells him furiously as she reaches for a ping pong ball sitting on the table and throws it at him, hitting him on the head, just lightly. Her friends laugh with Shinichi knowingly since it is one of those inside jokes the had back in the day, knowing about the little Conan fiasco that happened between them.

"Well, if it means anything, the view was lovely…" He comments, winking flirtatiously. The statement earns a cheer from their peers.

Ran is amazed by his boldness and wonders if it's the alcohol talking. She decides to play his game.

"Well if it means that much to you, glad you liked the view." She says confidently, earning another cheer from their small audience.

She reaches for her second card and reads yet another explicit question, "Did you ever fantasize about me? If yes, what kind of fantasies did you have?"

Shinichi thinks about drinking to save himself but he figures that it would be still to early to do so. So, he doesn't. He breathes deeply and looks away in a shy manner. He knows very well that everyone's gonna have a good laugh at what he is about to say.

"Yes, and I really wanted you to roleplay Irene Adler…" Shinichi says in an embarrassed manner. Ran laughs and so does everyone else.

Suddenly he wishes he had just taken a shot to save himself from humiliation, but it is too late for that now. So, he takes his second card to move on.

"Name your partner's sensitive body parts…" He tells Ran. She opens her mouth to answer but it seems as though he is still not done talking, too preoccupied in his thoughts and perhaps too drunk to function.

"Her neck, thighs and her lower back." He answers absentmindedly, forgetting that the question was meant for Ran. There is a collective gasp among their peers at the sudden revelation. Ran looks down, feeling embarrassed.

His eyes widen at the sudden realization, and puts his palms frustratingly on his face. He laughs in an awkward, drunken manner feeling the alcohol mess with his order of thought.

"Ah crap. Sorry that." He apologizes clumsily. Ran shakes her head and smiles.

"Well, to answer that question…" Ran begins thinking hard. "His knees, neck and he is also pretty ticklish on the sides of his torso…"

"My, my Ran. I never expected you to be such a minx!" Sonoko comments, teasingly. Ran rolls her eyes as she proceeds to take her third question.

"Dare Card: Make out with your partner for one minute. Take two shots to get out of it." She reads loudly. Her eyes widen as soon as the thought hits her. She looks at Shinichi worriedly and he takes the hint.

"I'm gonna have to take the two shots for this… Sorry guys." He says pouring Paikaru into his shot glass. "I can't do something she wouldn't be comfortable with…"

"Seems fair." Sonoko agrees. The rest of their peers nod, respectfully.

Ran mouths a "Thank you" at him. He gives her a small smile before taking the first shot and gulping it down with a chaser to get rid of the strong flavor. He winces at the burning sensation in his throat before doing it all again for the second time.

He takes his third card shortly and reads, "What was your favorite, most intimate thing we've ever done together?"

Shinichi smiles and purses his lips as old memories fills his head. He is tempted to answer the question but he remembers not to make the same mistake again. Although at the back of his head, he expects Ran to take a shot to get away from answering the question. He is surprised when she does not.

"When we made out in your dad's study…" She says, hitching a soft breath as she does. Shinichi takes his time to catch his breath as the image of her being pressed against the bookshelves flashes in his head. He remembers the way their lips brushed against each other's and how her body felt against his touch when he roamed his hands all over her…

'Damn…'

"You guys are so closeted-wild children!" Kazuha screams.

"How come we never knew about this?" Sonoko complains. Heiji and Sera remain silent, laughing to themselves because they obviously had ideas about it and weren't even surprised about the revelations.

Ran takes her last card for Shinichi. She smiles sadly as she reads the last question with her eyes before looking into his cerulean orbs as she speaks, "Do you think I'll be a good wife?"

"Definitely." He answers in a heartbeat. She sees sincerity in his eyes. An intense silence fills the room. "I wanted you to be my wife…"

Ran clears her throat, looking away to avoid his piercing gaze. She feels her heart break. So many what ifs fill her head.

"Really?" She asks, it is a rhetorical question, but he expounds anyway.

"I totally saw myself marrying you after college…" He looks down at his shot glass as he plays with it, twirling it on the table.

His heart suddenly feels heavy with regret. Unknown to him, Ran is feeling very much the same as well. She feels her eyes become heavy with tears brimming at the corners, but she breathes in and calms herself, letting the cold air dry them for her.

'It's just a game. Pull yourself together…' She scolds herself silently.

Their peers become silent, measuring the atmosphere between them. They look at one another sending signals, if they were to continue. Nobody moves until Shinichi takes the last card.

They breathe a sigh of relief all at once.

"What do you miss the most about me and why?" He asks, smiling to himself, hoping to hear a good answer from her.

It is Ran's turn to play with her empty shot glass awkwardly. She sighs a longing one.

"Your forehead kisses." She replies, reminiscing. "They always made me feel safe, especially after you know…"

Shinichi nods, remembering how he always loved giving her those soft kisses whenever she was upset or scared.

The awkwardness of the atmosphere lingers around them, heavily. Sonoko, Sera, Heiji and Kazuha suddenly have no idea how to approach the situation. What started out as merely fun and games ended too seriously with such raw emotions coming from the two. Shinichi and Ran feel it too.

They were cool about everything up until things came into light. Turns out, they are avoiding certain topics between them to be able to stand being in each other's presence but now that the barriers are broken, they don't know where to stand anymore.

But one thing is for sure, they know they would have to be civil with each other, not only for their sake but for their other friends as well. They are adults and they are going to act like so.

"Well, aren't we all glad that's done?" Ran says, breaking the silence in the air, making light of the situation. "So, how did we do?"

Sonoko is stunned but she replies with a tinge of hesitation in her voice, "Let's give it up for these two for being such good sports."

"What can I say? Ran and I make a great team…"

Shinichi stands up and holds out a hand to Ran to shake her hand which Ran takes with a smile. Butterflies fill her stomach as she feels his hand against hers, drowning herself in his warm touch, marveling at how her hand fits his perfectly.

"Yeah we do…"

AN. So that's the third Chapter! Belated Happy Valentine's Day! Was supposed to update on the 14th but I kind of struggled writing the last part. Would like to give a big shout out to @icedcoffeeanyone for helping me out with her insights, chatting with me and encouraging me to update while I was writing. Would also like to thank @mintchocolateleaves for the Heiji's line "Not gonna lie to ya' Kudo. There's no better than Neechan, not for you…" We talked about this on discord when I was still working on the concept of this fic.

Gonna take this opportunity to express my gratitude as well to everyone who sent comments and reviews on this fic. It really means a lot to me to hear from you guys and I have to admit it is what keeps me really excited to work on this one until it is finished. I used to be really hesitant about writing chaptered fics and always stuck to one shots because I'm so bad at committing to a story. I always end up leaving readers hanging but now, I feel different. I have a clear view on how this story is gonna end and judging from the outline, I only got like two or three more chapters to go before this ends.

BTW, I'm noticing that so far, my updates are coming on Fridays. Seems like my brain is programed that way for some reason. So, my schedule, if things go as planned, will remain that way. Chapter 4 will cover the wedding and the excerpt that I posted before I uploaded the first chapter of this.

See y'all on my next update!

~J

FFN Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13195514/3/The-Same-Old-You AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626277/chapters/41991224

NEXT CHAPTER

[mintchocolateleaves]

So, @detectivegeekshin and I were talking about a DCMK crossover with Supernatural. And now this exists.

1.

It starts when Kudo Yukiko burns on the ceiling of the Kudo mansion. Flames as hot as the sun scorch the building, burning through wood and furniture, bricks and cement charring as the heat amplifies.

Kudo Yuusaku yells at his son, Shinichi, to run, to get out of the house before it is too late. He shouts when Shinichi lingers, gaze staring up at his mother, telling him to take his adopted brother, Heiji, and run.

It does not take long until the house is cinders. Yuusaku leaves the house a widower, trying to keep his emotions in control, staying calm for his two sons. Shinichi does not cry.

Beside him, Heiji - only two - cries out in shook, horrified at the flames that tickle his face. Shinichi reaches forward and wipes away his tears, deciding that he will keep Heiji safe no matter what happens next. He squeezes Heiji's hand, hugs him close.

When Yuusaku books them into a motel for the evening - the first of many long evenings to pass - he does not mention Yukiko. He does not talk about the fire, or its cause, but he does warn Shinichi about monsters under the bed and how it is now his responsibility to keep his brother safe.

Shinichi nods in understanding. He is only four, but he will not forget this moment. It is the pivotal moment between normal life and abnormal life. It is the day Yuusaku promises to teach him how to hunt down the monsters, before they can pray on him first.

2.

By the time Heiji reaches eighteen, he's decided that he wants nothing to do with monsters. All he wants to do is become a detective and live a long, normal life.

It's probably why, after a huge family argument, he leaves his adopted father and son behind, enrolling in law school and attempting to live a mundane life.

His family leave him alone, and Heiji is glad because his life brightens, and it's actually happy, for once. He starts to think about a future with his girlfriend, Ooka Momiji, instead of a future hunting down demons and expelling ghosts.

He moves into an apartment with Momiji when he is nineteen, and he thinks that finally, finally, everything is going to be work out. Everything is fine until one evening he hears a noise from another room in the apartment - until he has to grab the baseball bat he keeps by the door, going to face the intruder in his household.

Everything is perfect until Shinichi breaks into his apartment at two a.m on a Saturday, bright eyed and smiling at his little brother.

"How's it going Hattori?" he says.

He's not called Heiji by his first name since they were kids. Sometimes, Heiji thinks Shinichi does it just to piss him off. Other times, he thinks Shinichi's just scared to let other people know how much he cares for his younger sibling. It's probably because he enjoys being problematic though, Heiji thinks.

"Kudo..." Heiji says, because two can play the surname game. No honorifics.

Momiji enters the room behind him, wraps her hand around his arm and asks if everything's okay. She's calm, as if she hadn't been worried about any intruders seconds before. Heiji watches as Shinichi smiles slightly, his lips turned upward in that way he does when he gains new puzzle pieces.

"It's fine." Heiji says, crossing his arms, "t'is is jus' Kudo Shinichi."

Momiji turns to Shinichi, who is leaning against their kitchen table, and offers a confused smile. She says, "the brother you've told me about... Does he not have a concept of time?"

Shinichi sends her a tight-lipped smile. It is the sort of smile that asks why she's asking him questions that should have obvious answers. He's here for Heiji's help on something supernatural related.

He has a habit of that, Shinichi does - he constantly expects others to understand what he's talking about. It's frustrating, especially to Heiji, who kicks himself every time he can't follow Shinichi's thoughts and conclusions.

"He's here for a favour," Heiji says, his voice flat. "Although it is a little inconvenient time-wise."

Shinichi gives him that smile again. It tells Heiji that he's shown up late just to spite him, because he can. It pisses Heiji off, and he wants to hit the other man for a moment, but he doesn't. He can't let himself be the hotheaded little brother he's always been labelled as.

"I wanted to make sure to get you when you weren't busy." Shinichi says, voice smug. "Couldn't be sure what you were doing during the day, so this was the only time."

"And why'd you break in?"

"Ah, that," Shinichi sighs. He shrugs, "that's just because I couldn't find a key in your plant pot."

Heiji feels his eyebrow twitch in irritation. For a moment he considers tossing Shinichi out of the room - he's always been the stronger of the two, it wouldn't be impossible. Except, Heiji hasn't been keeping up with the fitness regime he'd done in the past, so maybe it won't be so simple...

"Wha' do ya' want?"

3.

Kudo Yuusaku has gone missing.

This is the first thing Shinichi tells Heiji, and it is the thing that eventually leads to Heiji deciding that he will help Shinichi with the case their father had been working on before his disappearance.

Heiji is not that excited about it, because he's not a big fan of the supernatural, not after all that he's seen. He doesn't understand his university classmates when they talk about ghosts and werewolves - they've got no clue what the supernatural is like, and they want to be a part of it.

"Come on," Shinichi says as they're making their way to the car. He hops into the driver's side, tells Heiji about the case they're going on - 'Several male kids have been found drowned, it's a really complex case actually' - and warns him against picking the music because Heiji only ever picks terrible music.

Heiji sends him a look that tells him to shut up.

The silence that follows is deafening but Heiji doesn't want to break it. He's not talked to Shinichi since the first argument, had grown tired of constantly being the only affectionate one, always being forced to feel small at his older brothers looks.

Sure, it's just who Shinichi is. That doesn't make it acceptable though.

4.

The children have been killed due to a woman in white, a vengeful spirit trying to enact revenge after the death of her children. Shinichi seems to figure it quicker than Heiji does, but he tells Heiji it's only a lack of practice and experience - not skill.

It doesn't make Heiji feel any better.

As they are driving back in the car, Shinichi asks if this is what Heiji really wants, a normal life living as a law student, soon to be detective. He doesn't look at his brother when he asks, but from the way his hands grip the steering wheel, Heiji can tell that Shinichi's waiting for his answer.

"Yes," Heiji says. "I want to stay with Momiji-chan as well, I... I like living like this."

Shinichi scrunches his nose as if to ask 'why?' before shrugging his shoulders. He says, "fair enough."

When he drops Heiji back at his apartment, Shinichi doesn't even wave. He stays at the wheel, staring forwards as Heiji shuts the door behind him. He doesn't bother giving Heiji his number - it's not like Heiji's expecting them to stay in touch, not when Shinichi's too stuck in the abnormal to agree to acting normal for his brother's sake.

As soon as he sets foot in his room, calling out for his girlfriend, Heiji feels worry trickle down his spine. He gets a sense of foreboding, a bad feeling that something is about to go, very, very wrong.

"Momiji?" He calls, making his way to their bedroom. He doesn't see her as he collapses in their bed, but he thinks that she'll come home soon.

Something drips on his cheek. Blood.

Momiji is on the ceiling, and as Heiji looks up in horror, she burns. She burns the same way Kudo Yukiko burnt over seventeen years before.

5.

It could be argued that everything begins with the death of Kudo Yukiko.

It could also be argued that it only spirals out of control when Ooka Momiji burns in a similar way.

However, it all really begins when Heiji walks from his apartment, reopens the door of Shinichi's car and tells him to start driving.

I might continue this, if people want it?

Other fics of mine can be found here.

[yesyunniechan]

[Jan-Feb] Shin//CoRan Doujinshi Twitter Compilation [megro]

It’s been so long, right? Happy Valentine’s Day! That’s my present to you, guys =)

Shinichi’s type of woman story, laundry story, busted CoRan sunrise story, ShinRan souvenir story, Shinichi’s inner monologue, sudden KaiAo story (but it’s nice and 4 pages), ShinRan LINE story (2), Shinichi and Kogoro talk, Conan advantages story (2), Conan airheadness story, Goro-chan story, a girl Conan likes story, Shinichi’s dream story (6 pages), Poirot story, Middle School ShinRan fortune telling story, Middle School uniform story, Middle School Ski Slope story, V-day cake story. 

[source]

R: Hey, Shinichi! What is your woman type?

S: Now that's sudden.

R: Wait! Let me try!

R: I know! A 'big-sister'-like type beauties! Right?

(R: I'm going to wash sheets, so wake up!)

(R: Today we have hamburgers <3)

(R: You read mysteries until morning again, right?)

[She has a trait of a 'big sister', who always cares about everything]

S: You can say that you... (Beauty also fits)

R: As I thought!

S: She's also like a little sister sometimes...

[source]

R: Anyway! Who will put the laundry for drying at the roof? The weather's nice <3

C: I! I will do it!

R: Thank you for being so active ♪

C: 'kay! Today for sure...

C: I will be able to see and touch Ran's underwear legally!

C: Not here... Dammit.

C: Where does she dry those. That Ran...

[source]

R: Anyway, I didn't even know that Shinichi knows about such place! That's the first time I ever came to watch a rising sun!

C: Well... Heheh.

R: And I thought Shinichi's not interested in a date spot like that... 

R: A, he probably brought a girl here...

C: No!

R: Eh?

C: I only thought that one day I'll bring Ran to watch the rising sun, that's all! Are you having your wild thoughts again?!

R: T-thank you...

[When you have a girlfriend with wild imagination, you develop a habit to predict her thoughts.]

[source]

R: Nakai-kun, here, a souvenir...

S: From me and Ran!

[T-thank you...]

R: Ochiai-kun, here...

S: From me and Ran!

[Thank you...]

[A honeymoon trip?]

R: Why are you so angry?

S: I'm not. Just deailng with pestering bugs.

(TN: Bugs = fans)

Sonoko: New technique, diversion style, huh... I see.

[source]

[I am a high school detective, Kudo Shinichi. That may sound abrupt, but my childhood friend is too cute and that's a big problem]

[I have a demon and an angel fight in my soul...]

DR: Kiss her <3 Come one, kiss her <3

AR: You shouldn't do this so suddenly... More softer...

[Real]

R: Shinichi? What's wrong?

S: All three are tempting me! Three-timed trouble!!

[The demon and angel in his heart are also too cute, so he can't decide on anything. Kudo Shinichi (17)]

[source]

P1

S: Eh?! You two are still not dating yet?! Lots of years passed since KID retired!

H: Ya should confess already. What are ya even doin'.

K: S-shut up! I have a lot of circumstances...

S: You agitated us so actively...

H: And ya still didn't hook up with ya childhood friend? I cant believe ya'r an ex-KID...

K: O-o-kay! I'll do it! If that was possible for you two, that's possible for me!

P2

K: Aoko!

A: Eh?

K: B-be my...

S: Oi! Kuroba! Don't haste!

H: Idiot! With such vigour ya'll only run into trouble!

A: Kaito?..

P3

K: Marry me!

S: Eh?! This, out of sudden?!

H: What the?! That's a proposal!!

R: Kya~

K: Kuroba-kun, assertive <3

P4

A: Y-yes...

[They are engaged!]

H: And now he's ahead of us in lover's pyramide...

S: Giant leap in one second...

[Married]

[Engaged] <- here

[Dating]

[Childhood Friends]

[source]

P1

[It's Ran. I started LINE! <3]

[It's Shinichi, right? Oh, what if I made a mistake..]

C: Ran also started LINE...

(It's me, don't worry)

C: Ran-nee-chan, even a flip-phone can start LINE app, right?

R: Mhm... But it takes too many movements, kind of troubling...

R: Maybe I should continue using text messages...

R: But LINE is... much easier in terms of connection with Shinichi... Maybe I should but a smartphone?..

[Just for me. Thank you so much]

P2

R: Looks like I can't see stickers on the flip-phone... The one Conan-kun sent me...

C: I see...

C: So she didn't see it

R: A! I saw! Ah? Shinichi also sent something...

C: Aaaaaa! Waitwaitwaitwait!!

[No]

[Sorry. Mistake]

[Cats are an accident]

[Pad's fault]

[Ran: Where are you?]

[Embarassing]

C: Please... just bury me alive..!!

[source]

K: This detective boy seducing my daughter...

S: Well, I'm sorry

S: I'm the one being seduced!

S: Our first meeting: this smiling face! That was just like a punch! And although she's stubborn and crybaby, but she's so kind to everybody though it worries me a bit, but that's Ran's good sides, she's also so strong with her karate... so cute and naive, and she doesn't have a sense of danger, although I'd really liked her to have this,but she's an airhead and blissfully unaware, but still very cute, and this beautiful living being is like an angel or a fairy, so to be completely honest...

K: You're... terrific.

S: Well yeah.

K: I'm not praising you.

[source]

C: Uwaah, Ran-nee-chaan!

C: Heiji-nii-chan....!!

H: Wha?! Kudo?..

H: This brat... he doesn't have a sense of pride?!

R: Ah, you two fought?

[Fake cry]

R: I'm sorry, Hattori-kun, will you be more gentle with him?

C: Heeh.

H: No-no! It's clear that he's faking this cry! That's too strange! He's not in character! What's with this 'heeh', oi, look! LOOK AT HIS FACE!!

K: Geez, Heiji, you're not behaving like an adult...

H: Why it is always me?!

[source]

[Going home from some kind of case... Back side of the car]

H: Falling asleep while leaning on somebody during the car ride... Ya'r not a baby...

C: You're in a short supply of this, right, Hattori? That's so long awaited, how about enjoying it?

H: Ya'r really enjoying it...

C: Well yeah.

H: This guy has no sense of pride...

[He's weirdly used to sitting on his loved girl's laps. Kudo Shinichi-kun (17)]

[source]

R: Hey, head in clouds...

C: Geez, this Ran... treating me like a child... that's too cute, ba-ro!!

R: Hey, Conan-kun, are you listening?!

R: I'll knock on your head!

C: Aaaaaa geez, she's too cute!

[source]

R: Awww, Goro-chan is so soft <3 So comforting <3

C: Nice...

R: Conan-kun, do you want to hug?

C: Heh?

R: Conan-kun is so soft~ So soothing <3

R: Isn't it cute? Goro-chan <3

C: Yeah...

[source]

R: Conan-kun, who do you like? Ai-chan? Or maybe Ayumi-chan?

R: I'm so curious <3

C: Again with that... Why do you think so?

R: Eh? Am I wrong?

C: It's you....

R: Maybe that's me? Ha-ha, that's impossible! ♪

C: Heh?! Wha...

C: W-why did you think this?!

R: Eh... I just said it, that's all...

R: Oh, that's so cute... <3

[source]

P1

R: Shinichi... I love you...

S: Ran... me too...

R: Shinichi, wake up! Don't fall back to sleep!

S: Ran...

S: I really love you too...

R: Kya!

P2

[Kya-a!!]

R: W-what are you doing?! Who did you mistake me with?!

S: S-sorry... I was half-asleep...

S: I had a nice dream...

R: Don't you dare fall back to sleep while I'm preparing you breakfast!!

P3

R: Change your clothes quickly, your breakfast is ready!

R: He mistook me for somebody else... Said it was a nice dream...

S: She smelled nice...

P4

R: Hey, Shinichi...

R: This morning...

S: This morning?

R: You had a 'nice dream', right?

R: Who did you mistake me for?..

P5

S: ..I didn't.

R: Eh?

S: I'm saying! I didn't mistake you for anybody!!

P6

R: Shinichi...

R: Are you going to feign ignorance? Or did you forget already?

S: Hah?

S: And why are you so curious about it?..

R: W-well, as a childhood friend of yours...

S: ...because you're a 'childhood friend'... I won't say anything.

R: ...

R: Sometimes I don't understand what you're saying at all... Well, it's fine...

S: I just did what you did.

S: Just wait longer...

[source]

A: He-eh... So Okiya-san is living in the house of Kudo Shinichi-kun!

S: Yeah... My previous apartment was lost due to the fire, so...

A: Riight... And Kudo-kun is...

C: Ran-nee-chan's boyfriend!!

A: I see!

S: Shameless...

[source]

[About 6th grade]

R: Fortune-telling is now really popular among girls of our class... Blood type or star signs...

S: Pfft. Girls believe in this stupid stuff...

R: My compatibility with Shinichi is so bad! Both blood type and star sign...

S: What!? Besides, fortune-telling is such an illogical stuff!

S: Why is she saying this so happily?!

R: Why are you angry?

R: But even with bad compatibility... Me and Shinichi are on good terms, right?

S: Y-yeah...

[source]

P1

Y: Kyahahaha! Shin-chan is so cute!

R: Shinichi, it's so big for you!

S: Wha... even Ran is... Don't laugh!

C: Boys grow really fast, so their uniform is a little bit larger than usual...

(Wah! That's Fujimine Yukiko!!)

Y: I see... This one please!

S: Your uniform is big too...

(Cute..)

R: But not as big as Shinichi's!

P2

Y: Uwa-a-ah! <3 Ran-chan is so cute!

Y: So bad Eri-chan couldn't come because of work~ I'll send her pictures!

Y: You're so cute, you'll find a boyfriend in no time <3

S: Wha?!

R: No way! I don't want a boyfriend now!

S: Don't want, huh...

[Wants to be a candidate]

[source]

Sonoko: Ah, ski slope magic.. <3

S: Hah?

Sonoko: This silvery world is so different from the usual one... Even usual things can seem really cute, right?!

S: Who knows...

S: Yeah, she's right... this hat looks strangely cute...

Sonoko: It's so easy for love to born at the ski area ♪

Sonoko: If you'll meddle, maybe some handsome guy will appear and will steal Ran...

S: Ran!!

R: Heh?

S: I'm going to explore this rift, will you help?

R: Eh.. yeah...

Sonoko: Quick...

[source]

R: Chocolate cake?

R: Maybe this year I'll try to make this ♪

R: I should train beforehand <3

S: Training, huh... and what will you do with stuff you prepared?

R: Some I'll eat at home, some I'll give to my friends... I guess?

S: Well then. I'll eat some of this training too!

R: But that defeats the point of Valentines Day... Besides, I wanted to preapre really one to give to to Shinichi...

S: Nope. I'll eat everything.

(...cute)

[trouvelle]

Tru ahhh I love your writings! They make me feel some typa way~ Are you hopefully taking any requests? And if you are, can I request a sad shinran? ❤️

Thank you so much!! <3 You’re so kind (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) and yep—I am! Here’s a ShinRan oneshot that is hopefully sad enough for you.  

Fandom: Detective Conan/Case Closed Pairing: Kudo Shinichi/Mouri Ran Rating: G Warning: none

•

They’ve decided to learn sign language together.

They take classes every afternoon after he gets home from work. He rarely works overtime now. The classes last about an hour and the lessons hold them over until it’s dinnertime and they eat, in silence. After dinner, they sit on the couch together and they watch the TV. She reads the subtitles and he listens, but they always watch side by side.

They do this until they’re tired and the blue sky outside turns dark. After that, they wash up and curl up in bed and he signs to her the very first thing he’d learned. She always signs it back.

“I love you,” Shinichi signs.

“I love you,” Ran signs too.

◘

They hoped her hearing would come back, but it didn’t. They awaited a miracle for a while, but their luck just wasn’t good enough. Maybe they’ve used up all of it. But they’re not superstitious like that, not like Kazuha and Heiji. Shinichi knows they can’t just sit around and wait for nothing. So, he signed them up for lessons, because Ran turns out to be poor at lip reading and, for some reason, admits that she feels awkward talking when she can't hear it herself.

It’s only been a few weeks since they started the lessons, but Shinichi’s starting to think that the silence is so unnerving that every sound he hears from Ran is like music. The squeak that she makes when she accidentally cut her finger on a tin can has been like a tune, the sound that has escaped her when she almost tripped was like a melody, and the moans that slip from her lips when they were kissing the other night had been like a full-out orchestral performance, complete, sections full and all.

It’s rare, Shinichi thinks, and sounds will most likely be a rarity for as long as they’re together, but, he reasons, hands can do just as much talking as the mouth can, and they can touch and feel, too. They should be grateful.

◘

Their hands are still inexperienced and hesitant weeks later. They practice some nights instead of watching the news, sitting on the couch, facing each other and trying to recite vocabulary. Sometimes, Ran messes up and she lets out a sound like a laugh and Shinichi smiles and laughs, too, only to stop moments later because he remembers she can’t hear it and gets a little sad. Maybe she picks up on this, too, because her smile fades just as quickly as they appear.

“Hi, how are you,” he signs to her after dinner.

“Cup,” Ran signs, just because it’s a word they’d learned that day. She’s trying to practice her vocabulary, looking at some flashcards that had been provided by their instructor. She signs, “Knife.”

Their lesson a few hours earlier was about household appliances and silverwares. She signs again, “Spoon.”

Shinichi signs back, “Bowl.”

She signs after thinking, “Fork.”

He continues, “Plate.”

She laughs again, although he doesn’t do anything more than smile.

“Cat,” She signs hesitantly. They’d learned about animals a few days before.

“Sheep,” He eagerly signs.

“Bird,” She signs.

“Horse,” He signs back.

“Bored,” She signs, pulling from the emotions vocabulary she’d learned a week ago.

“Are you bored?” He signs. He’s always been a quick learner, but Ran hasn’t, so she takes a few seconds to connect the signs. Instead of signing back, though, she nods.

“I want,” She signs. She flips through her flashcards, looking at all of them deliberately, trying to make a good decision. She looks up at him firmly and signs, “Dance.”

“Dance?” He signs. She nods. She stands up and holds a hand out for him. He smiles and takes her hand. He stands up, too, and she leads them away from his study into their living room and to the empty space in front of their television. She slings his arms over his shoulders and looks at his hands expectantly. He puts his hands on her waist and she smiles at him.

Then, she starts swaying. It’s tuneless yet rhythmic, Ran keeping them to the time of her own silent beat. Then, she starts counting the beats aloud, and they start to do some sort of modified waltz, their feet shuffling on the carpet. After a while, though, she stops counting, and they go back to swaying in silence. At some point, she takes Shinichi’s hand in hers, holds her arm up, and bends a bit to be able to do a spin. She’s delighted as she does so, and he can tell, because she laughs, and a symphony rings in his head.

She dances them into their room and they fall into bed. She falls backwards from the foot of it, bringing him down onto her body. He lies above her and she smiles up at him. He looks into her eyes—it’s cheesy, so cheesy, however she’s not looking back. Instead, her eyes seem to flicker from his eyes to his nose to his cupid’s bow to his lips and back up to his eyes again. Then, she smiles, which makes him smile, and he decides to lean down and kiss her.

They make love a little bit later, and then fall back onto their pillows, side by side, sweaty and satisfied. Shinichi almost wants an encore of all the noises Ran had made, every moan, every whimper, every whine, but that would be selfish of him, he thinks, because she seems tired, soft and sleepy.

He feels her shift a little and then feels pokes to the back of his shoulder. He turns his head to see her as she rolls over to face him. He does the same, facing her. She smiles softly and she signs, “Goodnight.”

Shinichi signs back, “I love you.”

Ran signs, “I love you.”

But he wants to have the last word, so he signs again, “I love you.”

◘

Hands could convey more than Shinichi could ever say, but Ran hasn’t been too physical or verbal about her feelings lately, so maybe, Shinichi thinks, she’s just taking everything in, slowly and steadily. However one late night, on their couch, she bursts into tears and he holds her with his whole body, trying to touch her to calmness.

Ran has been tearing up a little bit all day, but Shinichi doesn’t expect for this to happen. 

She is getting tears on his pajama shirt, sobbing. He doesn’t know the sign language for “what’s wrong”, so he simply signs, “what” and hopes that Ran will see it through her tears. He’s not sure if she does, but then she starts talking.

“I miss your voice,” cries Ran. She’s choking on the words out through her sobs. “I miss it so much, I want to hear it again. So badly.”

Shinichi rocks her back and forth like she’s a child.

She weeps, “I’m scared of never hearing your voice ever again. I wouldn’t care if I just stopped hearing music, that’s okay. I just want to hear your voice.”

He doesn’t know how to sign, “it’s okay”. Instead, he runs his hands down her body and tries to assure her that it’ll be okay with his hands in a different way this time. Ran, sitting in his lap and burying her face into his neck, keeps crying. He kisses her forehead. “I miss it. I miss it so much and I regret I didn’t love it enough when I could hear it,” she bawls, “and now I miss it too much.”

“It’s okay, love,” Shinichi says out loud, on accident. Then, he just keeps patting her back, because she didn’t hear it, anyway. Couldn’t have heard it.

Ran keeps crying into his neck, onto his skin, warm and wet. And he can’t do anything but hold her, cradling her and collecting her in his own arms, hugging her body with all of his, trying to sooth by swaying from side to side. Before, when she was sad and crying, he would tell her, “It’s okay, love, it’s okay, shh, shh, shh, it’s okay,” but to say it now would be worthless, if not painful.

“I love you, I love you so much, and I just want to hear you say you love me too,” Ran says. “Just once, I want to hear your voice again.”

Shinichi doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know what to sign, so he keeps patting her back, running his fingers through her hair, petting the spot behind on top of her head that he knows always makes her feel loved.

Ran cries for a while more and then the sound starts to lull away. It’s the only sound that sounds like a cacophony to him, one that sounds like cymbals crashing right by his eardrum. For a moment, he wishes that he too, were deaf, but then he catches his thoughts and immediately curses himself for even thinking that, because he would miss Ran’s voice too much, just as she misses his.

She murmurs, exhaustion apparent in her voice, “I want to sleep.”

He knows she could just as well sign it, but she doesn’t. He gathers all his strength and struggles a bit, but he manages to carry her into their room, laying her on the bed. She immediately burrows into the sheets but hits his side of the bed. He takes that as a cue for him to lie down beside her. Once he’s in bed, he starts to hold her again, and she sniffles. 

Ran, then, brings her hands up and signs, “I love you.”

He smiles, bringing a hand up to push her hair away from her face. He looks her in the eyes and everywhere else. God, he loves her. He gives her a kiss, tenderly, and signs it back. Then, after he makes sure she is looking, he says, out loud, “I love you.”

Ran’s not good at reading lips, never was, still hasn’t been, so she looks confused. Shinichi keeps repeating it, though, like a chant. He says it again and again, enunciating each word until she gets it. At last she nods and says too, out loud, “I love you.”

Shinichi signs, “I love you.”

And then, they go to sleep.

[trouvelle]

Awake

A/N: I apologize in advance for any mistakes and errors in the story. Fandom: Detective Conan/Case Closed Pairing: Hattori Heiji/Toyama Kazuha Rating: G Disclaimer: I most definitely do not own Detective Conan. Summary: Kazuha couldn’t comprehend why Heiji’s ignoring her like this.

Aikido trophies, okonomiyaki, a certain dark-skinned boy with blue eyes. Kazuha wakes up to the sound of Heiji’s muffled voice. She squints her tired eyes, brows furrowing down into curious slants. Disoriented and confused, Kazuha sits up, blanket draping off her slender body.

She makes out Heiji’s tall frame by the window. The moonlight illuminates a soft silver glow on his back. Heiji is looking out the rectangular glass, a gaze Kazuha notices is unsteady and dead. It was as if he was staring at nothing in particular. What is he doing in the middle of the night like this? He’s not a light sleeper, unlike her. This is strange.

“—I can’t,” whispers a voice that belongs to Heiji but doesn’t sound like him at all. Broken, frail, fragile—everything Heiji is not. Kazuha’s heart starts to beat faster. Everything is catapulting and firing missiles inside her mind as she mentally sets off on a fearful battle of confusion.

Kazuha wants to call his name when she hears a distinct sound of someone heaving a harsh gasp. The words spoken are what keeps the unspoken ones hidden. Something’s wrong and it scares her.

“I’m not okay, Kudo. I’m not—” Heiji’s voice cracks on the break of the last syllable.”—I need time.”

There’s a moment of absolute silence. Just the hunched over frame of Heiji leaning on the wall paints a clear picture far too strong to be comprehended in words. The silence breaks when he hears a soft whisper.

“Heiji?” She softly calls out.

Heiji stands up straight and glances over at the bed. Waterfall of sorrow and regret fill the blue hue in his eyes. There was no response from him, but the silence spoke lengths. Kazuha calls her lover’s name again, only to have it sound off the walls and not reach the said boy himself.

Heiji walks out the door, slamming the wooden hinged object shut with a loud bang. Kazuha flinches in expectant surprise, and quickly scrambles up and off their bed to follow him run down the stairs and down the hall, trying to catch up with Heiji’s faster strides.

“Heiji, wait!” She calls out again when she sees her boyfriend’s frame exit through the front door, “HATTORI HEIJI!”

Why was Heiji acting like this? With a turn of the knob, adrenaline courses through Kazuha’s limbs as she runs through the empty and cold midnight and towards Heiji’s bike that has already started up. He leaves, and so does her happiness.

She doesn’t have any trouble falling into pain, worry and confusion.

                                                             —

The next morning, Kazuha wakes up alone.

No strong arms wrapped around her waist like every morning. No steady, hot breath tickling her neck. No lips trying to steal sly, morning kisses.

She’s alone.

After spending minutes in their bed, reminiscing last night’s incident—or this morning—she fails to convince herself that everything is going to be all right.

Exhausted, Kazuha leaves their bed and goes to the kitchen. This kind of silence breaks into her thoughts, worry consuming her very being. It kills the things that should’ve been left untouched. Where’s the man cursing and sending colorful words out his mouth while he attempts to make breakfast for two? Where’s the sound of the morning news and the smug boasting that trails?

Kazuha feels like she’s failing. As she sits down on the couch that doesn’t feel quite like theirs anymore, she stares at her phone expectantly.

Should she call? Should she text first?

No.

This whole thing is not her fault. In fact, she doesn’t even know why or what caused this to happen. But this definitely has nothing to do with her, she’s sure of it. Perhaps there’s something about one of his cases that he can’t get his mind off. Perhaps Kudo-kun is giving him hard time about something she doesn’t know. Perhaps it’s a guy thing. Perhaps he got into some sort of trouble with his dad.

Sulky Heiji is not all that uncommon, really, that guy could be really moody at times. But never in any instance did he ignore her like he did this morning. Maybe it actually IS her fault.

Before she could even backtrack to whatever she did yesterday that pissed him off so much, the sound of the door snaps Kazuha awake from her thoughts. She whips her had towards the doorway and stares as a drunken Heiji stumbles through the door with Shinichi supporting him.

“Heiji? Kudo-kun? What’s going on?”

She catches Shinichi’s gaze as the two detectives stumble over to the couch. Shinichi lays Heiji’s limp body on the couch, then stands over him and scrutinizes him.

“I’m sorry,” Shinichi mumbles, raking his fingers through his hair. Kazuha’s chest is starting to hurt. Shinichi glances over at her, his gaze empty.

She must have done something terribly wrong.

                                                           —

Kazuha wakes up to Heijis phone ringing and the husky voice wearily answering it. Turning over to her side, she watches as he holds the phone up to his ear, still lying down. Even though they’re under the same blanket, she can’t feel the same warmth and security. It feels cold.

Heiji is upset with her and she doesn’t know why. Another day of ignoring proceeds and does its usual ritual of breaking her heart apart into shards.

Every morning Kazuha wakes up knowing Heiji will disappear again. He’s slipping away, fading away from her.

If she could turn back time, she would. A time where Heiji isn’t ignoring her. A time where she can be welcomed back into his warm and strong embrace without being stared at with that broken gaze Heiji has suddenly grow accustomed to.

If only she knew what she had done. If only she could fix it. If only Heiji will finally talk to him and not run away—coming back home only at night after work, leaving the house at ungodly hours and not coming back until the break of dawn. She never sees Heiji anymore. Her aho—her happiness—is avoiding her to the world’s end. Was their love that meaningless that their problems won’t be talked over and solved?

She has tried talking to Ran about it, but she never gets any answers. It seems like Ran herself knows but isn’t willing to tell her. Whenever Kazuha calls and gives her updates, Ran would only reply shortly. Behind all the ‘Kazuha-chan?’s that she receives from her, she feels as though the karate master is always surprised that she’s calling her. Ran is definitely hiding something too.

                                                             —                                                             

This morning, Kazuha wakes up a little differently.

“..M’sorry, Kazuha,” mumbles Heiji. That’s it. Not yelling, not shouting like he always does.

She opts with nodding her head, not at all trusting herself to speak. Her voice is probably edged with sadness, tied with the essences of relief that courses through her as soon as she hears his apology. This is the first in a long time that Heiji is here during the day, lying in bed right next to her. She buries her face into the pillow that still has hints of his smell—which is awesome considering how many days it has been since he actually slept on it.

“Do you still love—” Kazuha decides to ask, but gets cut off mid-sentence.

“I love you. I always will.”

Kazuha breaks into a grin, shuffling to his side in joy. This time, she’ll swallow her pride and apologize too, even though she doesn’t know why he’s being like this. She won’t demand an explanation right away. ”I’m sorry too.”

She waits for those familiar arms to hold her, wrapping her in his usual protective hug. But it doesn’t happen.

She yearns for a kiss. But it doesn’t happen.

She yearns to see his usual smirk. But it doesn’t happen.

She yearns for him to yell at her, calling her aho. But it doesn’t happen.

Why?

Didn’t Heiji say he loved her?

Was the thing she did, whatever it was, hurt him so much that he couldn’t forgive her? That they couldn’t go back to how they used to be?

Heiji suddenly stands up, shakily making his way to the door again. Like usual, like every morning for the past few days.

Kazuha wordlessly follows.

                                                             —                                                          

He doesn’t utter a single word throughout the ride. She has her arms around him as usual, and she takes advantage of this, moment by pulling herself closer to him. She heaves contently—it feels like an eternity has passed since she even touched him.

She peers over his shoulder when she feels the engine starting to slow down and finally to a stop. Her breath hitched when she realizes where he’s heading to. Why in the world is he bringing her to her mom’s grave?

He makes his way through the rows and rows of headstones, and she tries hard to swallow down the lump in her throat as she continues to follow him.

She can see her mom’s granite headstone, and she opens her mouth, preparing to say something. But to her confusion, he walks past, only halting at the one next to mom.

The creases between her brows was enough to reflect the bewilderment and confusion she is feeling right now. Then he hears Heiji gasp and whimper—he’s shaking.

Heaving a huge breath in hopes of alleavating his breathing, Heiji crouches down. His tears don’t stop. He extends his hands, resting it on the headstone.

Kazuha reads the words:

‘Here lies a beloved daughter,

a dear friend,

Toyama Kazuha.

The sun shined brighter because she was here.’

Kazuha closes her eyes, and she is finally awake.

P.S. Thanks for reading!

[jaroslavlewis]

30 Kisses: Heiji and Kazuha- Clouds and Sun Ray

30 Kisses: Heiji and Kazuha

First Kiss: Clouds and Sun Ray

Author: Jaroslav Lewis

Fandom: Detective Conan

Theme: #11-gardenia

Summary: It was a day that could've been. She is nothing but a wishful thinking, the most painful 'what if' in their life.

Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan or any of Gosho Aoyama's characters. I simply kidnap them when I'm bored and make them binge watch K-dramas with me. Don't worry I make popcorn for them too.

It wouldn't change anything but he did it anyway. It took him a lot of pondering. He didn't want to hurt her by commemorating the day itself. It would only bring up hurtful memories but he figured he couldn't just forget it, even if it did hurt her and even if it did hurt him as well.

It was a day that could have been. It was a day that they patiently and excitedly waited for but never came. It was probably stupid, but he thought it was all the more reason for him to remember that day because it was the least he could do to make up for what he did. She was nothing but a memory short lived, a wishful thinking, their most painful what if.

And so, the first thing he thought of and did that morning was rush to the nearest flower shop to buy gardenias. He picked the white ones because for a very cliché' reason they reminded him of purity and heaven, something he felt that he would easily associate with her. He never got to know her long enough to find more things to associate with her, but he felt it. It was his instinct. He was after all, a part of her just as she could have been a part of his.

He watched the florist arrange the flowers into a nice bouquet and bitterly thought that if that day could have gone as planned, the flowers could have been fancier and would be later sitting on a side table next to a hospital bed where the knocked out, Hattori Kazuha would be resting. But instead, it would later be placed in an empty room, still on a side table but next to a crib without a baby.

He could remember the look on his wife's face when she told him about her. The image of her bright light green eyes and excited but slightly worried smile was painted in his mind, deep within his memory.

It was a Friday night when she told him. He came home from work after solving a nerve-wracking case, one of which, coincidentally, involved the life of child, a little girl of age three named Aya-chan.

It was a mere kidnapping case. He was able to solve it right on time to rescue the young hostage, but it was one of those cases that tested not only his mind as a detective, but also his instinct as a potential parent. Hattori Heiji had been in the crime-solving industry long enough to see the bad and the ugly, the impossible, the unbelievable and the most monstrous kinds of crime man could ever do to their fellow. But one thing he couldn't stand were cases that involved children, especially when their lives are in danger. Other than the fact that the life of an innocent at stake brought more pressure on him as a detective, Heiji hated that criminals could be so cold-hearted to involve young minds in their dirty business.

On the way home, he wondered how he might have felt if it were his kid that was in danger. He knew he'd lose his mind if it happened to him. He could remember the helplessness in Aya-chan's father's face when he begged him to save her. It was an image he could never shrug off of his head.

His mind was still on the case when he entered his residence. It was only when she showed up to greet him that he snapped out from his thoughts. It was her usual greeting that he always looked forward to, after a day's work.

She'd always rush to his arms as soon as she hears him by the door. She'd wrap her arms around his neck and look up at him with a beautiful smile on her face, a smile that would always tell him that she was excited to see him and that she missed him even if it had only been just a few hours that passed that she had not seen him. It was pretty silly since they saw each other every day and they have been together since childhood but he knew, he'd never get tired of her and the familiarity of her that had always felt like home.

"Tough case? She asked, as if reading his mind and he simply nodded as he took off his shoes, placing them on the rack. He then, took off his coat, hanging it by a coat rack just by where he placed his shoes.

"Well, then maybe I have somethin' that would cheer ya' up." She said, excitedly dragging him all the way to their kitchen. He loosened his tie and smiled to himself as he let her drag him.

He was surprised when he found the dining table all set in a fancy way. There were beautifully folded table napkins for the two of them and lighted scented candles as a centerpiece. She even prepared a nice dinner for that night. He had to admit he was pretty impressed with how she managed to do all the work. Kazuha after all, works in the intel division of the Osaka Prefecture Police Department, under her father, Police Chief Criminal Investigator Toyama Ginshiro. Though she didn't get involved much in cases, her work was pretty toxic too. It amazed him how easily she could multitask from being a career woman to being an all-around wife. He also couldn't help but get a little worried at the thought that he might have forgotten about a special occasion. He knew their anniversary wasn't until a few months. It wasn't her birthday. It wasn't his either. Besides, who the hell forgets about their own birthday. Hmmm Kudo of course but he was in no way like him. Well, he was in other ways a lot like him but he certainly wasn't the type to forget his own birthday.

"What's the occasion?" He asked, slightly hoping that the innocent question wouldn't cause her to be angry.

"Oh, nothin'. I just figured, I wanted to do a little somethin'." She simply answered. Although, he could easily read that something was up. He noticed how awfully giddy she was, not to mention the slight flush on her cheeks and the big smile on her face.

"Really?" He asked again, taunting her as he raised an eyebrow. Kazuha giggled adorably as she reached for the bottle of wine and poured an amount to both of their glasses.

"Sometimes I hate the fact that you're an incredibly smart detective." She said, finally giving up as she saw no reason to delay an important announcement. Heiji couldn't help but grin at her little compliment. She actually called him a smart detective. Yep, something was definitely up.

She stood from her seat to approach the refrigerator and take out a box of cake. Heiji immediately noted that she chose his favorite shop after seeing the familiar packaging.

"I was saving the news for dessert, but you read me easily so I figured, what the hell." She said as she placed the box in front of him. "First close your eyes."

"Is it really necessary?" He tried to protest being the stubborn man that he is.

"Oh, just do it and don't spoil the surprise. I'm trying to be romantic here." She scolded and he finally did as he was told. On cue, she opened the box and lit some candles to put on the cake and once she was done she asked him to open his eyes for the surprise in his life.

In front of him was a white-frosted cake with a sparkling candle and a fondant baby cradle on top. Written on it were the words "Congratulations, Daddy Heiji!" in orange and green icing. Heiji was speechless for a moment. He choked a half-sob, half laugh and he turned to her for confirmation.

"I'm a… I'm gonna be a..." He said still in shock and a bit confused but very much happy. Kazuha smiled at him and waited for him to process the news.

"Wait so you're…" He added as he looked from her then down to her belly and then back at her smiling face again. She nodded as she showed him a stick. It had two red lines and he knew it could only mean one thing. He said no more and he stood up to hug her. Tears of joy fell from her eyes as she hugged him back and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I can't believe it. I'm going to be a dad." And he finally said it. He felt stupid for not noticing. For the past few weeks Kazuha had been showing some obvious symptoms. First, her monthly "visitor" failed to "pay a visit" and then there was the morning sickness. Despite having a keen eye for details he never saw it coming, but nevertheless he was glad.

"I'm gonna be a dad…" He repeated making Kazuha laugh. "And you're going to be a mom… And I love you so much…"

"I love you too, Heiji…"

It had only been 8 weeks of pregnancy but the couple had already decided to decorate the baby's room as early as possible. Being the excited parents that they were Heiji and Kazuha had already bought the essentials. The crib was already delivered and had been sitting unassembled, inside a box in their room. It was the weekend and Heiji impulsively decided that it would be a good time to get started on the decorating. Kazuha didn't have the heart to disagree. Though it seemed a little too early, she was psyched about the idea and went on with his plan. The two had a hard time deciding what color would be good for the room, especially since they still had no idea about what the baby's gender would be. In the end they went with pastel green and orange since it was their favorite colors. The two also decided that colors were after all, just colors and that they wanted to raise their kid in an environment where things weren't sort out and stereotyped based on gender. It had them thinking, why did colors have to be categorized anyway? Who the hell came up with green and blue being a boy's color and pink and orange being a girl's color? What's with that bs?

In just a few hours the room was fully painted and Heiji came out of the baby's room with paint stains all over his clothes. Kazuha on the other hand, was left waiting in their own room until the paint dries and until the paint smell was out. Despite her protests, Heiji managed to keep her out of the paint. He didn't want her to absorb the strong chemicals that could be harmful for her and for the baby. Right after the paint had dried, Heiji decided to assemble the crib. When the paint smell was gone, He allowed Kazuha to see the room and add some finishing touches.

Using friendly toxic-free, poster paint, Kazuha painted little details on the wall, an abstract tree right on one of the corners of the room, where the crib would be placed. She also drew a cute squirrel peaking from one of the branches of the tree. She put drew some flowers with intricate details. Heiji was amazed. Kazuha had always been very artistic.

When they were done with the room, they took a few moments to stay in it and appreciate their team effort.

"I bet the baby would like this room a lot." Heiji said, innocently making Kazuha laugh.

"I doubt that the baby would even be old enough to remember how this room would look like." Kazuha pointed out.

"But still. It's a nice room. I bet the baby wouldn't have to worry about monsters under the crib or inside the baby closet or elsewhere…"

Five months and after frequent visits to the doctor, Heiji and Kazuha had found out that they were going to have a baby girl. The two sat on their living room couch sprawled together while looking through Heiji's Ellery Queen books for some odd reason that Kazuha requested him to read one of them to her or to the baby, rather.

"I thought this stuff bores you." Heiji said as he settled the book to the side and scooted closer to his wife holding her against him as they both tried to fit in one small blanket together.

"Well, it still does, but I figured it would be good for the baby. I read in one book that reading is a great way to connect with the baby. Also, I want our baby to be able to recognize your voice so I want you to read to her." She explained sheepishly. "Other than that, I kind of hope that she'd get your intelligence, and your great deductive reasoning skills."

"Really, now?" Heiji chuckled, smiling smuggling to himself, making Kazuha glare playfully at him as she lightly hit his abdomen with her elbow, causing him to yelp.

"Ya' know, even if you're such a detective geek, you're really smart and I want our daughter to be as smart as you are." She admitted as she took one of Heiji's books and leaned closer against him so that she could rest her head on his chest.

"Why'd ya' want her to be as smart as me? You're pretty smart yourself too. Ya' had good grades in Kaiho. Ya' even graduated with honors in college while juggling it with your extra-curricular activities." Heiji opposed.

"Well, still… I'm not a genius, like you are. Besides, I was only a diligent student. You on the other hand, have an eidetic memory. You could ace any test without having to spend too much time studying." Kazuha reasoned, pouting childishly.

"Well, being diligent still beats being smart." Heiji chuckled as he gave her a pat on the head. "Say, you think if she'd have my eidetic memory and your good studying habits she'd beat every kid in school?"

"Maybe. Let's hope she gets our best features."Kazuha said optimistically as she gazed at her protruding belly.

"Yeah. Then she'd have your eyes and she'd look just like you…" Heiji sighed, daydreamingly. "And I wouldn't be able to say no to her. I'd spoil her a lot, I bet…"

"Excuse me, what would you like to put in the card?" The florist asked as she leaned on the counter with a pen on her hand and a plain yellow gift card on the other. Heiji immediately snapped out of his thoughts to turn his attention to her.

"Oh… Please write down, 'For Hattori Elle,'" He requested, letting her name linger for a while as he watched the florist scribble down an impressive calligraphy writing on the card. He figured the name had such a good ring to it. It felt so warm saying it and it stung his heart that he'd never get to go around saying her name more often.

"Is that all?" The florist asked, tapping the pen as she waited for Heiji to continue his message on the card. Heiji paused for a while before he found the right words.

"Our ray of sunshine..."

He and Kazuha decided to name her Elle, after Heiji's favorite mystery novelist, Ellery Queen. Kazuha liked the Western ring to it and that the name was less traditional making it somehow unique in Japan. She also looked up the meaning of the name and found out that it meant "sun ray" in Greek origin.

Just like the sun that she is, the sun that she was supposed to be, she brightened their day with her mere existence, with the mere thought that she'd someday be a little ray of sunshine in their life. But the weather was unpredictable. They never anticipated the storm that would come and take her away, filling their life with nothing but dark clouds.

She couldn't understand why but she felt so off since that morning. She wondered if it was just her unstable hormones, being pregnant and all. She had a heavy feeling in her chest. She couldn't explain it but she felt awfully restless.

There was no logical explanation but Kazuha's instincts had become very accurate as the years passed, especially when it came to Heiji's welfare. It was also one of the reasons why her grip on superstitious beliefs was so strong. Kazuha relied on Omamori so much that she made a matching pair for her and Heiji. And though many have thought of the gesture as silly and cheesy (as Heiji did in the past), for some great "coincidence" the charm seemed to have protected them from harm several times. Kazuha believed, however that those instances weren't just mere coincidences. The Omamori worked for real. It was proven and tested.

That afternoon, Heiji showed up in her office, as promised that they planned to have lunch together. Their plans however were cancelled, as soon as Heiji received a phone call from his father, Police Superintendent Hattori Heizo, asking him to work on a murder case.

"Gomene, Kazuha. I can't have lunch with you today. Something came up and Oyaji wants me to look into a case." Heiji explained with an apologetic look on his face.

"It's okay… I can just have lunch with Otousan, today or Otaki-han." Kazuha said assuringly, though deep down she felt worried.

"Well, I'll see you later, okay?" Heiji bid, leaning closer to her to give her a good bye kiss. His lips softly brushed against her forehead. When he pulled away, he lingered for a moment. He gently tucked her bangs behind her ear and gave her a smile before he proceeded to walk away.

"Umm, Heiji?" She called albeit hesitating for a few seconds. She searched his emerald orbs with her peridots, worriedly as soon as he stopped on his tracks to turn his attention towards her.

"Ne?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Did you bring your Omamori with you?" She asked and he paused for a moment to think.

"Yeah, I remembered I…" He brought his hand to his neck and collar bone area, where he usually wore it as a necklace, only to find it missing. He searched his pocket to and brought out his phone to see if it was hanging as its accessory, but it wasn't there either. He recalled his actions earlier that morning and it struck him that he had accidentally left it inside Elle's Room, when he went there before he and Kazuha took off to work.

"Oh crap." He cursed. Kazuha's heart beat rapidly against her chest, like she was about to have a panic attack. "Ahhh. I forgot it in Elle's room. I went to look for her sonogram picture so I could place it inside, the Omamori pouch, so it'd have yours and hers in it."

Kazuha felt like strangling him for a moment, only to be awfully touched by his intentions. All of a sudden her frustrations subsided, but the uneasy feeling was still there. She sighed, but decided not to make a big deal about it. Stress was bad for the baby and other than that, she knew that Heiji could be a little absent-minded at times because of work.

Being a detective had a lot of dangers. She witnessed it several times. Trouble and death followed Heiji around like a lost puppy and that was the main reason why she wanted him to have his Omamori AT ALL TIMES.

It stressed her out a lot that of all the times he'd have to forget it, it was on that day when she was feeling unexplainably uneasy. Instinctively, she reached for hers and took it off. She tiptoed to reach up to her husband's tall stature and slid the Omamori necklace to his head down to his neck, where it was supposed to be.

"Hey… Ya don't hafta, Kazuha. I'll be fine. Don't you need this more? After all, I'm leaving you here all alone with the baby and..."

"It's no problem. I'll just be here anyway. Besides, Otousan and Otaki-han's going to be here. We'll be fine, Heiji." She assured him before she tiptoed again to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. "We'll see you later, okay?"

Heiji finished the case just in time for dinner and as soon as he and his colleagues have wrapped up, he went straight to pick up Kazuha. His wife was relieved that he was able to come back without being harmed. She figured she might have been just a little paranoid that day and that there was nothing to worry about at all.

She decided to shrug the thought. There was nothing to be worried about. They were going to be fine. Or so she thought.

It turns out, it was too early for her to let her guard down. Her premonition was right after all…

The couple decided to have dinner at their favorite restaurant that served the best Okonomiyaki in the whole of Japan. On the way there, Heiji noticed a black car trailing them. It had been following them around for some time now. He felt tensed, but he didn't want Kazuha to find out. He didn't want her to panic, especially when she's carrying their baby. His grip on the car's steering wheel tightened, thinking that no matter what happens, he was going to protect his wife and their unborn daughter. He decided to speed up a little, hoping to lose the unknown "stalker" but his car went just as fast as he did.

It didn't take too long for Kazuha to notice that something seemed to be bothering Heiji. She glanced at him for a moment and noticed that his knuckles have gone white from gripping the steering wheel to hard. He also looked pretty tense. Panic started to fill her heart.

"Heiji, don't you think we're going a little too fast?" She asked worriedly. He didn't answer as his attention was towards the rare view mirror and the reflection of the mysterious follower by their tail. Heiji grunted as he went faster to lose the other car, but to no avail. He even noticed that it went past by them and slowed down so that it was just beside their car, right by Kazuha's side to be exact. He looked at the car from his peripheral vision. Its windows were heavily tinted.

"Heiji, what's going on?" Kazuha yelped as he sped on. The other car picked up its pace and went closer to theirs, lightly hitting Kazuha's side. "Heiji!"

Heiji immediately took his gun from their car's glove compartment, one which he is allowed to carry for safety and emergencies. Kazuha shook in fear as she watched Heiji grip the steering wheel with his left and the gun with his right. The driver from the other car had had lowered his window. He glanced at the reckless driver to see his face, but he had a cap, a mask and shades on to conceal his identity. The only thing that he could make out was that the dangerous follower is most likely a man who might have been someone he had angered from his cases. He also saw that the man had already pointed a gun towards them. Whether it was him or Kazuha that he was pointing at, he wasn't sure. Heiji felt his left hand freeze in panic.

For someone who wasn't in his situation, it would be easier to say that to shoot first was safer, but Heiji wasn't confident in his aim, other than that, it's more difficult to shoot someone in a moving vehicle especially when he's also operating a moving vehicle of his own. He could save himself and his wife from being shot, but they could die from a car accident. Also, if he fired and then missed, the guy would fire back and worse he could hit Kazuha and the baby.

He lost it, however when the guy started firing at them. He missed. Heiji started firing back, but kept missing as well. A beeping sound filled his ears as he tried to focused on the road and on the crazy guy who was trying to harm him and his family. He could hear Kazuha's faint screams and crying.

The shooting stopped when the guy hit Heiji's wheel, causing it to burst resulting to Heiji losing control of his own vehicle. Heiji's car, sped up and before he knew it, he was slamming to a post. The criminal sped away as soon as he met his victory.

Minutes later, Heiji was awaken by faint sound of paramedics and police cars. He opened his eyes groggily, recalling the events that had transpired. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he spotted a broken dashboard. The faint smell of gasoline filled his nostrils. He felt slightly numb due to his injuries. His head felt damp as he touched it with his hand. He looked and noticed that his blood gushed from his forehead, an injury he got from the impact which caused him to slam his head on the dashboard. He immediately snapped as soon as he realized that Kazuha was with him, sitting on his passenger's seat. He looked at her and noticed that she wasn't looking so good either and probably did worse. She was still unconscious. She had wounds on her face. There was a lot of blood, mostly in between her legs.

He started to forget that he had injuries of his own. He started to fear the worst thing possible. His heart throbbed rapidly in fear as he slowly took her seatbelt off. He lightly tapped her shoulder, as he tried to wake her, but to no avail.

"Kazuha! Oi. Kazuha. Wake up!" He said, almost shouting in panic.

It wasn't long before the police and the paramedics got them out of their crashed car. Paramedics tried to tend to Heiji's wounds, but he fought back, saying that he had to see Kazuha first. He watched as they put her in a stretcher, inside an ambulance.

He found it hard to process what was happening in his surroundings. The sound of the sirens was deafening. There were police everywhere and some reporters.

"I need to see my wife!" He shouted angrily at the paramedic who was trying to calm him down.

"We are doing the best we can, sir but you have to calm down and get your wounds treated." One of the doctors said.

"You don't understand. My wife is badly injured and she… She's pregnant. Our baby-" He shrugged out of one of the nurses' grip and tried to get away. The paramedics held him down and within seconds, he was out.

"Kazuha… Elle… Kami-san…Onegai…" Were the last words he spoke before he drifted to slumber.

As soon as he got home, he set the flowers in one of Kazuha's favorite vases. He poured a little water in it to keep it fresh and stuck the yellow card on the vase with an adhesive tape. He took a few moments to stare at the gardenias for a while. He briefly glanced at his watch and noticed that it was already in the afternoon. He silently thought to himself that at that hour he could have been watching a tired Kazuha in her sleep. Minutes later he could have been sitting next to her groggy, but already awake self as the nurse puts a tiny bundle of joy in her arms. He could've been gazing at their daughter right now and he could have been holding her after Kazuha has had her turn. He could've but he couldn't.

It was supposed to be Baby Elle's birthday. Except, there was no Baby Elle at least, no more. She is now, nothing more but a wishful thinking, the most painful 'what if' in Heiji and Kazuha's life. He lost her and in some sort of way, he kind of lost Kazuha as well.

Long were the nights he spent blaming himself as he lays down on their bed, with Kazuha's side empty. Long were the nights that he'd spray her perfume on her pillows so that he'd get through the day of missing her so badly. She wouldn't sleep beside him anymore. She preferred being left alone, spending most of her days and nights locked up in Elle's room. She wouldn't even talk to him. He figured, he deserved it. It was his fault that Elle was gone. He couldn't protect her. He couldn't protect Kazuha either.

He snapped from his reverie as soon as he heard her footsteps. He figured, Kazuha had finally decided to go out of Elle's room for a while, but he knew she wouldn't be staying too long. She'd only go out when she'd feel a little hungry or thirsty. Right after she's done, she'd go back and lock herself up again.

She showed up clad in her loose pajamas. Her hair was tied up in a tangled messy bun. Her eyes were blank and puffy and dark circles appeared under them. She had been a totally different person since the incident, very far from the bright and cheerful Kazuha that he once knew.

"Hey…" He said, clearing his throat as he greeted her awkwardly. It felt crazy how suddenly, he felt like he was talking to some stranger, when apparently, she's someone he had known for so many years. After the incident, Heiji could never figure out how to approach her. Other than the fact that guilt held him back, Kazuha had been mentally and emotionally unstable for four months now, since the incident. She felt so fragile and he was afraid that any careless move he'd do would cause her to break.

"Do you want anything? I could fix something up for you." He offered when he got no response from her. He watched as she moved past him to get a glass of water. She wouldn't even look at him. She had been avoiding his existence ever since.

After she drank the whole glass of water in one gulp, she turned to go back to Elle's room, but stopped on her tracks when she noticed the vase of Gardenias on the table, in front of her husband. She paused and stared for a while, but said nothing. Heiji watched her actions and felt a little tense. He froze when she looked at him blankly, as if asking for an explanation but was too numb to care that much.

"I hope you don't mind. It's just that I remembered what today's supposed to be." He spoke softly and somewhat carefully as he tried to avoid her cold gaze.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that she's gone. It's not going to bring her back…" She told him with so much bitterness in her voice as she turned her back to him. Heiji watched her walk away. He stared at the vase of gardenias sitting on the table as he listened to her slam the door. He closed his eyes and sighed.

Heiji woke up to the sterile white of a hospital room. Albeit his headache and recurring numbness on some parts of his body, his mind immediately drifted to his wife as her traumatizing, badly injured image flashed on his mind. His eyes searched the room and found his parents sitting by his bed. His worried mother came to hug him, protectively and his father stood by next to her.

"You're finally awake! Do you want anything? How are you feeling? You had us worried, dear." Shizuka spoke as she gently brushed her son's messy hair.

"Toyama and I are working on the case. We've also had some guys helping out. Your detective friend from Tokyo, Kudo came by too, when you were unconscious. He said he'd look into the case too." Heizo informed calmly, but Heiji didn't seem to be processing what his father had just said. His eyes were blank and he was silent for a while.

"Where's Kazuha?" He asked, feeling tensed. He silently prayed that what he feared the most didn't turn out to be. Shizuka and Heizo were both hesitant to respond for a while. Shizuha gently squeezed her son's hand and gave him a sad smile.

"Heiji, Kazuha-chan's okay. She's still unconscious and resting well in the room right next to you. The doctor said she'll be waking up by tomorrow or maybe in a few hours." She responded. Heiji let out a sigh of relief. He could never forgive himself if something had happened to her. He however knew that it was still too early to be jumping for joy. There was another life he had to worry about. "But Heiji…"

And there was the but...

That "but". The indicator that there was apparently bad news after the good news.

"Heiji… We lost the baby… Kazuha-chan had a miscarriage… I'm so sorry, dear…" Shizuka felt so hurt to break the news to him. She knew how it felt. She was after all, a parent. Heiji was in a state of shock as his mother's words echoed in his head. It took a few seconds to register to him and suddenly he felt his fists roll into a tight ball. And then the tears fell.

And though, Heizo wasn't the type of father to be expressive, he knew at that moment his son needed him. He gave his son a light pat on the back.

"I'm sorry, son." He manage to say, though he couldn't find the right words and he knew no words could make Heiji ever feel better. He had lost his daughter and no apology, no sense of empathy, was ever going to bring that back.

A surge of emotions went through Heiji. He was hurt, he was mourning for his loss and most of all he was angry, with the man who hurt his family but mostly, with himself. He started to punch the bed and the rails by his side, his knuckles went numb and then he started beating himself, crying and screaming. Heizo tried to hold him down and Shizuka wrapped his arms around her son.

"Heiji, please calm down…" Shizuka begged as she hugged him tight. Heizo held his son's bleeding fists. Soon Heiji's crying slowly subsided and he started to calm down.

"I need to see her." He said. His tone was cold and his eyes were blank and lifeless. Shizuka hesitated, but she knew Heiji needed to see his wife. She loosened her hold around him and nodded. She and her husband held their son up and together they went to Kazuha's room and found her sleeping in her bed. The Toyamas were pretty restless too. Shizuka went to hug Kazuha's mother, her longtime friend. As mothers, they both knew the pain. Kazuha carried Elle for 5 months, looking ahead of a great future with her child, and now it was taken away from her…

"She still hasn't woken up…" Ginshiro said as he stroked his daughter's hair. His expression was sad as he stared at Kazuha's wounds and bruises. Even if Kazuha had grown up and had started a new life with his pal's boy, in the end she was still his little girl. He felt hurt seeing her in such state.

Heiji slowly walked towards his father-in-law who acknowledged his presence. Ginshiro gave the young detective a light pat on the back before he left her with his wife. He also took his wife and Heiji's parents with him to give the couple some privacy. Heiji sat on a chair by Kazuha's bed. He slowly and hesitantly reached to stroke her hair, carefully touching her as she seemed so fragile. He then reached to hold her soft hand in his and then brought it to his lips, kissing it gingerly. And then he choked on a sob. He struggled with his breathing as he tried to stop himself from crying again, only to be betrayed by his rebellious tears.

"I'm sorry, Kazuha… I'm sorry…" He whispered over and over again, until he got tired and fell asleep.

He stayed by her side until she woke up. He waited painstakingly and patiently until she opened her eyes and found him sitting by her bed as he held her hand. Her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings. Her head ached and she noticed that she had an iv stuck to her arm. Her body was sore and she had bandages and gauze all over her.

"Heiji…" She said as she tried to sit up straight. Heiji stood to help adjust her pillows so that she could be comfortable.

"Hey…" He greeted her. "You finally woke up…"

She didn't respond as she took a few moments to stare at his face. He had bruises too, but she was relieved that he was okay and then she felt a heavy feeling in her chest. As if she had lost something…

And then she remembered…

"Heiji, how's Elle-chan?" She asked as she looked into his eyes. Heiji paused for a moment as he sat down. He didn't know where to start. It broke his heart that Kazuha was badly injured and the first thing that popped into her mind was Elle's safety. She had completely forgotten about herself because she cared about the baby's life, more than her own. Heiji knew right then and there that Kazuha was so much ready to be a mother and it broke his heart that that chance was taken from her.

"Heiji… Did something happen to our daughter?" She asked again, her tone briefly rose as soon as she received no response from him.

"Kazuha… Kazuha, listen to me, okay?" He said as he cupped her face in his hands. He stroked her hair lightly and held both of her hands in his. He squeezed them tightly as he looked into her eyes. Tears were already forming at the corners. She knew his tone. It wasn't gonna be good. She felt it, but she still hoped.

"Kazuha… Elle is… Elle is gone. We lost her… I'm sorry." He said, remorsefully and she broke down in tears. He sat on her bed, by her side and held her tight. She cried and screamed and thrashed. She hit his chest and tried to push him away. He hushed at her as he held her in his arms and tried to stop her from hurting herself.

"No… She's not gone." She kept saying, still in her denial state. "She's not gone. You're lying!"

Tears flowed endlessly from her eyes, soaking Heiji's T-shirt. Eventually she got tired from getting away from Heiji. His embrace loosened as her loud cries turned into quiet sniffles.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" He said repeatedly, though he knew his apology never mattered. His hugs wouldn't make the pain go away. There was nothing he could do to reverse the time. He could never bring Elle back. At that moment, Heiji wished he was the one who had died.

And for months now, he had been slowly dying, but probably not as much as Kazuha had been.

Heiji juggled work, taking care of Kazuha and solving the case regarding the assault done to both of them. It was hard for him, but he figured it could be his own way of coping and of healing. He needed to keep himself busy and distracted so that he'd forget about his loneliness. He vented all his anger and frustrations to capturing their assailant. He swore to make him pay.

The family made sure that Kazuha had all the help she could get. They took her to a psychiatrist regularly and signed her up for a support group. But depression, was crippling. Kazuha barely showed any improvement and got even worse with each day that passed.

It had come to the point of self-harm. Heiji found her inside their bathroom, lying almost lifelessly on the floor next to a pool of blood. Next to the pool of blood was a bloody box cutter. She had bloody lines on her left wrist. Kazuha almost died due to blood loss. If Heiji had not come on time, he would have lost her.

It was hard for him, but he knew that they had to solve the problem together. Kazuha hadn't spoken to him since the miscarriage. Heiji, in some sort of way, avoided her as well to escape conflict. Though he always checked up on her, he always felt too guilty to be around her that much. He also decided to give her some space. But after seeing her remnants of self-harm, he knew he couldn't run away from their problems. He knew she needed him and it was time that he focused on her more.

"Why?" He asked as he sat in front of her and stared at her carefully bandaged wrist. It was probably a stupid question, but he knew they had to talk about it. Kazuha stared into blank space and did not give him any response.

"Let's talk about it, Kazuha. Tell me everything. You want to punch me? Scream at me? Go ahead. Just… Just don't hurt yourself. Do you understand? Don't do this again." He said, controlling his tone, trying to be gentle with her as possible. He touched her shoulder and she shrugged his hand off of her angrily.

"You wouldn't understand." She mumbled under her breath. She avoided his gaze as she spoke. She clenched her fist tight and soon tears fell from her eyes again.

Heiji tried to wipe her tears away, but she swatted his hand off.

"You didn't carry her for five months! You never loved her as much as I did!" She shouted, accusingly at him. She looked at him with so much hate, an image that had been tattooed in Heiji's mind permanently.

Heiji felt a surge of emotions rush through him. His chest hurt as her words rang in his ears. He didn't show it, but he was mourning as well. And it hurt him that Kazuha had accused him of not loving Elle when in fact, she meant the whole world to him.

"Now, you're just being unfair, Kazuha. You know that's not true." He argued, slightly losing control of the situation as his emotions messed with his mind. He let out an exhausted sigh as he tried to regain composure. He didn't want it to end badly with her especially when she was in such state.

"Look… I'm working on the case, okay? I'm trying to figure out who did it, so-"

"And there you go again…" She chuckled bitterly and sarcastically as she cut him off. "It's always the cases, right Heiji? Because being a detective is so important to you, ne, Heiji? If you hadn't been a detective, this wouldn't have happened. If you loved Elle more than your job, she would still be with us. The man wouldn't have targeted you and me. The accident wouldn't have happened."

Heiji's throat dried upon her response. She looked him at him straight in the eye. Her expression was cold.

"It's your fault she's gone. You killed her."

Her words stabbed his heart like knives. In the end, no matter how much Heiji tried to look at it, Kazuha was right. Being a detective, Heiji had successfully served many civilians but as a husband and father, he was a failure. He couldn't save his own daughter and he couldn't save his own wife from slowly dying inside. What was the point of being a detective when he couldn't even protect his own family?

Heiji decided to draw the line. He quit his job as a detective. It was the toughest decision he had to make and it shocked many of his colleagues. The news became very controversial and spread all over Japan like wild fire. Heiji still worked in the headquarters, taking calls from the emergency hotline and fixing reports on criminal cases. But that was it. He didn't get involved in cases anymore. It gave him more time to look after Kazuha as well. He took all sharp objects and anything she could use to hurt herself away from her. He also made sure that someone looked after her when he's at work.

He had handed his case to his father, father-in-law and Otaki-han. He also asked for Kudo's help. Though Shinichi was disappointed with his resignation, in the end he understood and respected his decision. Ran also offered to represent him and Kazuha in court as their lawyer.

It took some time, but they were able to track the assailant. It turns out the guy was the brother of one of the criminals Heiji sent to jail. He wanted revenge and he got it. The guy was sent to jail. Heiji and Kazuha got justice for Elle's death but it didn't make everything better. It didn't bring back Elle. It didn't make Kazuha better and it didn't save Heiji from breaking with each day that passed.

Heiji shortly followed Kazuha to Elle's room so that he can place the flowers on Elle's little side table drawer. He was surprised to find the door unlocked. Kazuha would normally lock it so she was alone. He decided to knock before entering either way. She didn't respond and so he let himself in. He found her standing by the crib as she looked at Elle's framed sonogram which she held in her hand. She looked at him briefly to acknowledge his presence but immediately looked away as she met his gaze.

"I'll just put these here and be on my way out." He said, as if asking for permission.

"Do what you want." She mumbled as she turned her back to him and tiptoed to reach the mobile toy hanging right above Elle's crib. She gently turned the key right on the middle part of the hanging toy so that it would rotate and play soft lullaby music. He walked past her and went straight to the side table drawer to place the vase there.

He stood for a moment to gaze at his wife who was absentmindedly listening to the lullaby music as she stared at Elle's sonogram and gingerly touched it with her fingers. His body moved on its own as he walked towards her. He stood right behind her before he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, giving her a tight, needy back hug. Kazuha was taken aback. She froze and tensed, but she didn't push him a way. He Rested his chin on her shoulder and then he let out a soft, remorseful sigh. He inhaled her familiar scent of lavender. He missed her. He missed holding her and so he held her tighter, relishing the moment before it all ended, before she could push him away. He noticed that she lost a lot of weight and it worried him. She felt so fragile under his touch and it scared him.

Kazuha felt uneasy, but she felt that she didn't want to push him away. She moved a little, to get a little comfortable, but Heiji spoke.

"Just give me a few minutes." He begged. "Just let me hold you for just a short while. Just this once, Kazuha…"

She listened and let him hold her. She felt a feeling of warmth and security she hadn't felt for the past few months that she had avoided him. She refused to admit, but she missed him just as much. Suddenly, all the hurt and anger started to subside. It was a different feeling, but it made her feel less heavy, like a part of her heaping emotional baggage had been discarded. Soon, she felt him rest his forehead on her shoulder. Her shirt sleeve was then soaked with his tears.

"I know I have no right, but I miss her a lot today. I miss her every day." He said, choking on his tears. Though she couldn't see him, she could tell that he was crying. He was just as broken as she was and though he tried to hide it and showed off a strong façade, he was hurting too.

For the past four months, Heiji and Kazuha's relationship had been falling apart and in some sort of way, Heiji had been trying to hold it together. He had been holding on even if she had somehow, already let go. He reached out to her so many times, but she pushed him away every time. But though she acted coldly towards him, she remembered all his efforts. Like all those times he secretly sneaked into Elle's room while she was sleeping and put a blanket on her. Kazuha knew and in some sort of way, though she never showed it, appreciated it.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but I want you to know that I'm gonna wait until you forgive me, until you learn to love me again no matter how long it takes." He said before planting a soft kiss on top of her head. He slowly loosened his embrace and let her go. He turned to leave her but just as he was about to walk towards the door, she placed the frame of Elle's sonogram inside the crib and turned to hold him. This time, she was the one giving him a back hug.

"Ahou." She spoke. It had been so long since she had addressed him with their mutual pet name for each other. It sent a feeling of nostalgia towards both of them. She rested her forehead on his nape. Hot tears fell from her eyes and soaked the back of his shirt's collar. "I never stopped loving you, Heiji…"

It had also been so long since she had said his name. Kazuha figured she loved and missed the way his name rolls off her lips and Heiji felt the same way. He lifted his hand to touch the back of hers as he stood and let her hold him. He missed the warmth of her body against him. His heart felt more alive than ever.

"It's just that when she left, it felt like she took my heart with her. I was hurting, Heiji. I'm sorry. I felt so empty." She sobbed. Heiji decided to gently shrug off of her embrace to face her. He lifted her chin and looked into her tearful peridot orbs. She looked into his and noticed that he had been crying as well, an image of him she never saw every day. He looked more vulnerable and imperfect in his state, but she saw a side of him that reminded her that he was also human. Heiji always seemed so strong to her. Even when they were kids, she never once saw him cry. It made her forget that he was also capable of falling and breaking.

"I wanted her too. I wanted her so much, Kazuha. I loved her too, ya' know…" He said and she nodded, regretfully.

"I know, Heiji. I know. I'm sorry." It was her turn to wipe his tears. "I was a mess. I'm sorry I hurt you. I know I can't take back what I said, but I never meant to say it. I just… I was so angry with the world, with everyone. I was so absorbed in the pain I felt I never realized, you were hurting too."

Heiji smiled softly and shook his head. He took her in his arms and embraced her longingly. She rested her head on his chest and returned his embrace. She inhaled the smell of gardenias that had stuck to him when he had brought the flowers and arranged them on the vase. It mixed with his familiar scent that she loved and missed so much.

"Can we start over again, Heiji?" She asked as she pulled away to look at him. He brushed her hair with his fingers and nodded. Just like that all hurt, anger and emptiness subsided.

"I'd love that." He replied softly before he leaned in to brush his lips softly against hers. His kiss was gentle but in some way needy and longing. She returned his kiss with the same level of need. She missed him and he missed her. Hurt made them forget, but slowly, time let them heal and remember how much they loved each other.

The gardenias lay in Elle's room, soon to wither and collect dust as time passed. But Heiji and Kazuha's love rose and grew stronger than ever. Though the flowers lay forgotten in the dark corner of a baby room, Elle's memory, though short-lived remained in Heiji and Kazuha's hearts forever.

AN: Okay, I don't know if people still do these LJ challenges, but I wanted to try it and phew! This took really long to write. I remember my first KazuHei One Shot was really long, about 6000k+ words. I never expected this one to be much longer than the first (Check out "Beneath Cherry Blossoms in Sannouzi Temple"). Again, I'm sorry if this was way too long to be a one shot and I'm sorry if I bored you! TT_TT I've always wanted to write a scenario in which we'd see a more vulnerable Heiji. He and Shinichi were always portrayed strongly in the series. They always felt invincible and there were only rare instances where you'd see them break down a little. I wanted to do something that would incorporated more of Heiji's emotions as a human instead of a detective. In some sort of way, this is how I pictured Heiji falling. IDK if it felt OOC to you guys, but I wanted to capture his and Kazuha's emotions. That's why I wrote from the part where they were a happy couple to slowly transition to the dark parts in the present. I also did this to show you guys how much Heiji and Kazuha wanted the baby in their lives, hence the situation. IDK if I made it clear.

You guys might be wondering how I came up with the name Elle for KazuHei's daughter. So here's the explanation: I'm one of the people in the DC fandom that has joined the bandwagon of naming Shinichi and Ran's future son, Conan and I figured if ShinRan would get to name their kid after Shinichi's favorite writer, I think Heiji should get to name his kid after Ellery Queen. Hahaha Weird right?

Anyway, I hope that I was able to present the theme well in this one shot. I'm also sorry if this one felt too heavy to be my opening story to my 30 Kisses version of Heiji and Kazuha, I promise that I'd make happier and lighter ones in the future. I hope you guys support me in this. Thank you for reading and please feel free to tell me what you think about this fanfic!

With love,

~J