#heert

[andorshitdaily]

Andor characters + make up a guy tweets, part two

[hegodamask]

"Don't get comfortable, this is not a meeting. No one is going home. Tell your staff, tell your families."

ANDOR - S01E06 The Eye

[madelgard]

Impmas 2024: Holiday Imperial Fanworks Prompts

Brought to you by the Seswennan Social Club, we are very pleased to ring in the holiday season with Impmas 2024! All fanworks are welcome, whether it be fic, fanart, curated playlists, etc.

For your work to be included in the ao3 collection, it needs to focus on the Imperials (featuring characters like Thrawn, Veers, Piett, Motti, Jerjerrod, Dedra Meero, Krennic, Tarkin, Pellaeon, etc.), Imperial Ships, and/or Imperial OCs. Remember, we’re here for the Imps who serve the Empire, not the Sith.

Choose from at least one of the prompts below:

Naughty

Winter Wonderland: Rentorian Winter | Snowballing Chestnuts Roasting: Ballplay | Caging Stuffing Stockings: Barebacking | Prostate Milking

Nice

Under the Mistletoe: Kissing | Holiday Traditions Secret Santa: Gifting | Life Day Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy: Ballet | Fairies

As always, works of any rating are welcome. Just be sure that they're Imp-focused, and they relate to one or more of the prompts included in the Naughty or Nice categories. Fanworks are due on December 25th. Multiple submissions are welcome and encouraged.

Please feel free to message me with any questions.

[karnpuffs]

x

[fandomsniper]

🍂

[ask-attendant-heert]

If you are reading this message and your initials are SK, know that I see you waving outside and am under direct orders not to make eye contact with you.

Also know that I have a bucket of water balloons by my desk.

Lastly, know that if I throw a water balloon, I do not miss.

- Attendant L. Heert

[supervisormeero]

Pairings: Syril Karn/Dedra Meero Rating: Mature (18+) Chapters: 1/2

Syril gazes at her expectantly, curly-haired, pajama-clad, and no doubt perplexed as to why she won’t permit him to make tea. Unwilling to dance around the matter any longer, Dedra gives a huff, straightens as much as her brittle spine will allow, and gets on with it.

“The condition Gorst diagnosed me with is remedied by... physical contact. Apparently, it’s the only thing that eases the symptoms.”

A crease forms between Syril’s brows. Dedra can practically see the gears of his mind whirring until they smoke. A blush creeps across his pale cheeks, and she envies the warmth he must feel. “Physical contact,” he echoes.

When Dedra contracts a rare illness after a trip to the Outer Rim, Gorst recommends a remedy that leaves her chilled to the bone... a remedy only Syril Karn can provide.

[writersglock]

The Chimaera Chronicles. 1BBY. Issue 30

Oh dear reader, I have missed you! My duties aboard this prestigious vessel have taken hold of my attention - but I must tell you, dear reader, my fingers began twitching as soon as I sat down to write this column, my mind has been practically ablaze with news and 'the tea' as some of my outer rim colleagues would say.

[I'm looking at you, Senior Leiutenant Pyrondi]

So, pull up a chair, dear reader, and get comfortable.

Ever since I joined the Imperial Navy, I have endeavoured to make friends, I have even procured a few in the ISB (that's the Imperial Security Bureau). I have been informed by a rather loose lipped assistant that his supervisor is fraternising with a clerk from the IBS (Imperial Bureau of Standards).

Now I feel it prudent to clarify that my 'informant' hasn't seen anything unbecoming. But he has noted, seeing the clerk waiting, for his supervisor after her work day (outside the ISB's head office).

Of course, I would never assume there is any impropriety in this act, but I feel it imperative to mention that the Empire has very strict rules on - Romantic liaisons...

Unlike other recent gossip, this morsel of tattle has truly, snapped up my attention. I will endeavour to keep you updated dear readers.

Until the next time.

Yours ever faithfully, Commander Elin Hammerly.

[eclec-tech]

"An Unexpected Opportunity"

Here's my piece for the @forcefatalezine celebrating the women of Star Wars!

Losing a collection of intel handed directly to her by her boss was not the way Dedra Meero had planned to start her day.

[minty-bubblegum]

MANIA

[andorshitdaily]

ANDOR + Unhinged AO3 tags, part 2

bonus:

[hegodamask]

There’s something so funny about all their expressions here. 

Dedra and Corv look like they’re gonna kill Heert for taking all the credit for the group project.

[evergreenpigeon]

I have a few thoughts about this:

1) it is only a joke if you do not genuinely hold that statement to be true, and

2) A joke is only worthwhile if both/all parties involved enjoy the joke. Otherwise, it can be a tool to demean someone else, to assert something over them.

Somehow people get incredibly defensive when they're checked on this.

"Yeah I just said all that as a joke, I don't know why you're upset about it". Okay, then why don't you act any differently? And/or, why did you not check up on the person you were making fun of?

If you don't show a difference in belief, and you do not show any caring for the other person's reception of the joke, then you're an asshole. Simple as. You don't joke because you want a good dynamic, you joke because you don't want to own up to your bitchiness.

[karnpuffs]

I'm staying if you are 😈😈😈

[fandomsniper]

🍄🍄

----

Needa: The universe has a plan for you. 

Piett: It’s not a good plan.

----

Krennic: Do you feel anything for me? 

Tarkin: I feel sorry for you.

----

Piett: Let's not Motti this into a worse situation than it already is. 

Motti: Did you just use my name as a verb?

----

Veers: Turn the other cheek? Wrong. Heavy artillery bombardment.

----

Venka: I don't know how much you know about space, but for me, I'm a master. Ask me anything about space. 

Heert: Is it big? 

Venka: Probably.

----

Tarkin about Motti and Jerjerrod: Homosexuality does not even begin to explain the behavior these men are exhibiting.

----

Lastok: You look tired. 

Heert: Well, the torment is endless and the horrors never cease.

----

Piett: How many kids do you have?

Needa: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

----

Lastok: General, am I ugly? 

Veers: What nonsense! Looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the world.

Venka: Admiral, am I ugly? 

Piett: Very much.

----

Heert: You can’t just positive attitude your way through missions.

Lastok: I beg to differ 🥰

[ask-attendant-heert]

An Introduction to This Holoblog

I have decided to create this blog to dispel rumors perpetuated by the Rebel Alliance, particularly concerning the burnout rate amongst so-called "Imperial Underlings". I have had a wonderful experience with my job as an ISB Attendant and believe the galaxy should be aware of the truth. This holoblog will contain my uncensored insights, barring any confidential information of course.

I would like to affirm that I have not been threatened, coerced or mind-flayed and the posts on this blog are entirely my own. While I am technically being compensated by the ISB for maintaining this blog, this compensation includes only a weekly sugar-free chocolate bar and lunch break. Hence, I have no significant conflicts of interest.

This is meant to be a safe space for all well-meaning citizens of the Galactic Empire. Consequently, I will be happy to respond to any comments or questions, COMPNOR regulations permitting.

Wishing all of you good vibes and glory to the Empire!

Most Sincerely, Attendant Heert Imperial Security Bureau Central Office, Coruscant

(OOC: This is a satirical blog and one of my companion blogs in the same parody RP verse as @ask-sad-ghost-piett and @asking-for-apologies. The humor here can get dark. I write all my Imperials as feverishly loyal to the Empire, but this is a light-hearted blog in general and hence, I won't be delving into moral analysis.)