#lieutenant venka

[fandomsniper]

🍂

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Thinking about the time I fell into the tech pit and couldn’t free myself for the entire day. You see, there were no stairs to leave the tech pit. Grand Moff Tarkin eliminated the stairs after he thought the crew was taking too many caf breaks. Thereafter, the only way to exit the tech pit was through a ladder which appeared at 12 hour intervals throughout the day. At least there was a refresher down there, but there was no caf machine and I was therefore utterly miserable in my confinement.

I attempted to climb out to no avail. I then tried to subtly signal to Lord Vader that I was trapped, thinking he could perhaps lift me up with his terrifying Force magic. Unfortunately, he was occupied speaking with a group of bounty hunters at the time and paid no attention to me. So, I had no choice but to spend the entire day with Lieutenant Venka, who made many passive aggressive remarks over his lack of promotion to captain and bored me to tears talking about porg racing.

I submitted a work order to have a permanent ladder affixed in the tech pit. I also submitted a work order to have the backup shield generator for the bridge installed in the same form. Neither was fixed before the Battle of Endor.

- Admiral Piett

[max-veers]

I've delivered the six pints of ice cream to the freezer in Blizzard 1. When will you be picking up Lieutenant Venka? - @ask-sad-ghost-piett

Next time I’m up on the Bridge I’ll pick him up - does he have a helmet, or will we have to issue him one?

[textsfromstarwars]

[fandomsniper]

I forgot about those again 😔

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Veers: For my next trick, I will need a gun.

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Motti, posting during the Joint Chef meeting: I'm the only bitch serving cunt here 😭😭😭😭 that's so embarrassing 😭😭😭😭

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Needa, during anti-drug assembly at the academy: Okay listen up everyone, there's nothing "meme" about smoking a cigarette. 

Needa: There's nothing "Netflix and chill" to take a drug. Fidged spin yourselfs to your classes.

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Krennic: Look, just accept your flaws. You'll feel better. Trust me. It worked for me. 

Heert: You accepted your flaws? 

Krennic: No, I accepted your flaws.

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Krennic: People are shipping us, Tarkin.

Tarkin: To where?

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Venka: If you need me, I'll be making terrible decisions.

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Motti: I'm getting a brain scan today.

Veers: To check if you have one?

Motti: ...Thanks for your concern and support.

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Veers: Firmus, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Piett, after listening to Venka too much: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Veers: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Lorth.

[fandomsniper]

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ

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Veers: For my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law.

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Veers, after surviving Hoth: You guys call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from the universe.

Piett: And what did the doctor's call it?

Veers: Severe internal bleeding and a miracle I'm alive.

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Krennic, on the phone: Hi, it’s Orson.

Tarkin: What did he do this time?

Krennic: No, Wil, it’s me Orson.

Tarkin: Oh… what did you do this time?

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Motti: If you have 10 cookies and I ask for 2, how much do you have?

Veers: 10. I don't share my food with you.

Motti: Okay...?? Rude.

Motti: What if I forcefully take 2?

Veers: 10 cookies and a dead body.

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Venka: Hey, if I turned into a zombie, would you kill me?

Lastok: ...Yes. But I'd feel bad about it and probably hesitate.

Venka: I appreciate that. Thank you.

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Heert: Is that a jar of bees?

Lastok: You never know what you might need in the field!

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Piett to Venka: I don't have anger issues, Lieutenant. You make me angry and that's the issue.

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Venka: Sorry I couldn't hear you over my internal monologue.

[fandomsniper]

🍄🍄

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Needa: The universe has a plan for you. 

Piett: It’s not a good plan.

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Krennic: Do you feel anything for me? 

Tarkin: I feel sorry for you.

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Piett: Let's not Motti this into a worse situation than it already is. 

Motti: Did you just use my name as a verb?

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Veers: Turn the other cheek? Wrong. Heavy artillery bombardment.

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Venka: I don't know how much you know about space, but for me, I'm a master. Ask me anything about space. 

Heert: Is it big? 

Venka: Probably.

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Tarkin about Motti and Jerjerrod: Homosexuality does not even begin to explain the behavior these men are exhibiting.

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Lastok: You look tired. 

Heert: Well, the torment is endless and the horrors never cease.

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Piett: How many kids do you have?

Needa: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

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Lastok: General, am I ugly? 

Veers: What nonsense! Looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the world.

Venka: Admiral, am I ugly? 

Piett: Very much.

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Heert: You can’t just positive attitude your way through missions.

Lastok: I beg to differ 🥰

[fandomsniper]

🪤

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Krennic: I wanted to apologize.

Tarkin: Good.

Krennic: Let me finish. I said I wanted to. And then I realized that I'm not sorry.

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Motti: Veers gave me a ‘get better soon’ card.

Needa: That’s…nice. I think.

Motti: I’m not sick. He just thinks I could do better.

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Needa: You're smiling. What happened?

Piett: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Veers: Venka tripped and fell down the stairs today.

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Lastok: I trust Venka.

Heert: You think he knows what he's doing?

Lastok: I wouldn't go that far.

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Piett: Why do you act like you're always right? It's annoying.

Krennic: Unfortunately I'm always right. Everything I say, it's a fact not an opinion.

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Motti: As an empath my heart really aches when you guys are losers.

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Needa: That's a great shirt, Max. 

Veers: Thanks Lorth. 

Needa: It'd look even better on Firmus' floor. 

Piett: .....Are you hitting on Max for me??

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Heert: My social battery has exploded, killing several innocent bystanders.

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Covell: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Venka, to Lastok: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Lastok: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Venka: Good thinking.

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Motti: Save a horse, ride the aristocrat.

Jerjerrod: *looks at Piett* What does he mean? 

Piett: …I’m staying out of this.

[fandomsniper]

[fandomsniper]

:3

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Krennic, sarcastically: I bet you're real fun at parties.

Thrawn, instantly: You'd know if were invited.

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Needa, concerned: Why is Max lying face-down on the floor and crying? What the hell happened?

Motti: Piett yelled at him.

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Jerjerrod: Conan, what does "breedable" mean?

Jerjerrod: Conan?

Motti: Tiaan, it's 3 in the morning.

Jerjerrod: Am I breedable?

Jerjerrod: To you.

Motti: Please. Stop saying that.

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Krennic: Do you think together in every universe?

Tarkin: I hope we aren't.

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Piett, texting Veers: I'm going to strangle you the next time I see you.

Veers, replying: Can you even reach my neck?

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Lastok: You look like a painting from the rain a sauce

Lastok: rainesaunce

Lastok: ressasaunce

Heert: The Renaissance. 

Lastok: Yess

Heert: That's so sweet.

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Covell: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person? 

Venka: Half-full, definitely.

Venka: Half-full and constantly rising.

Venka: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

[fandomsniper]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

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Motti: And now we’ve lost Veers!

Piett: What? What do you mean we’ve “lost Max”?

Motti: We had him, now we don’t. Keep up!

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Motti: Are you ready to commit? 

Veers: Like, a crime or a relationship?

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Motti: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 

Jerjerrod: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Motti: Stop.

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Krennic: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Tarkin speed-run the five stages of grief as he realises that he still wants to fuck me.

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Venka: Oh, here's my award for being the most annoying crew member! 

Lastok: That's not an award, it's an angry letter from Admiral Piett. 

Venka, hanging it on his wall: Well, it has the world 'most' on it, so I'm calling it an award!

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Heert: Can I be frank with you guys? 

Covell: Sure, but I don't know how changing your name's going to help. 

Venka: Can I still be Venka? 

Lastok: Shhh, let frank speak.

[fandomsniper]

prolly one of my fav batches of imp memes

[fandomsniper]

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Krennic: Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.

Veers: You weren’t listening, were you? 

Krennic: Nope.

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Krennic: I'm not drunk.

Tarkin: Yes, you are.

Krennic: I am NOT drunk.

Tarkin: Alright then, can you tell the time?

Krennic: Yes, *turns to the clock* I am not drunk.

Tarkin: .....

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Maximilian Veers, while crashing into things: I'm great at driving!!!! Stop trying to jump out of the car Needa!!

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Veers: Guys, there is a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.

Motti, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

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Needa: Okay, guys, what did we say about self-care?

Piett: More espresso less depresso.

Needa: Try again.

Motti: Don't be sad. Sad backwards is das, and das not good.

Needa: ...no.

Veers: It be like that sometimes.

Needa: NO.

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Lastok: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

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Piett: Venka has no survival skills. His need to win has replaced them.

Needa: That can't be true. 

Piett: Watch this.

Piett: Lieutenant Venka, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

Venka: *Throws himself out a window*

[fandomsniper]

have a cookie 🍪🍪🍪🍪

[fandomsniper]

I need sleep

[fandomsniper]

🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️