#Lieutenant Venka

[fandomsniper]

🍂

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Thinking about the time I heard from the ISB that there were Rebels sneaking into unsuspecting officers’ quarters to steal their code cylinders and chocolate caramels. At that point, I’d purchased a very nice box of chocolate caramels to give to Max. So, I took the necessary precautions and set up fifty wampa traps around my quarters. Unfortunately, all I caught was a MSE Droid, Captain Needa and Lieutenant Venka. Needa wrote off the incident as a simple misunderstanding amongst friends, but Venka never forgave me.

[max-veers]

I've delivered the six pints of ice cream to the freezer in Blizzard 1. When will you be picking up Lieutenant Venka? - @ask-sad-ghost-piett

Next time I’m up on the Bridge I’ll pick him up - does he have a helmet, or will we have to issue him one?

[textsfromstarwars]

[fandomsniper]

🍄🍄

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Needa: The universe has a plan for you. 

Piett: It’s not a good plan.

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Krennic: Do you feel anything for me? 

Tarkin: I feel sorry for you.

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Piett: Let's not Motti this into a worse situation than it already is. 

Motti: Did you just use my name as a verb?

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Veers: Turn the other cheek? Wrong. Heavy artillery bombardment.

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Venka: I don't know how much you know about space, but for me, I'm a master. Ask me anything about space. 

Heert: Is it big? 

Venka: Probably.

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Tarkin about Motti and Jerjerrod: Homosexuality does not even begin to explain the behavior these men are exhibiting.

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Lastok: You look tired. 

Heert: Well, the torment is endless and the horrors never cease.

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Piett: How many kids do you have?

Needa: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

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Lastok: General, am I ugly? 

Veers: What nonsense! Looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the world.

Venka: Admiral, am I ugly? 

Piett: Very much.

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Heert: You can’t just positive attitude your way through missions.

Lastok: I beg to differ 🥰

[fandomsniper]

I forgot about those again 😔

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Veers: For my next trick, I will need a gun.

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Motti, posting during the Joint Chef meeting: I'm the only bitch serving cunt here 😭😭😭😭 that's so embarrassing 😭😭😭😭

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Needa, during anti-drug assembly at the academy: Okay listen up everyone, there's nothing "meme" about smoking a cigarette. 

Needa: There's nothing "Netflix and chill" to take a drug. Fidged spin yourselfs to your classes.

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Krennic: Look, just accept your flaws. You'll feel better. Trust me. It worked for me. 

Heert: You accepted your flaws? 

Krennic: No, I accepted your flaws.

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Krennic: People are shipping us, Tarkin.

Tarkin: To where?

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Venka: If you need me, I'll be making terrible decisions.

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Motti: I'm getting a brain scan today.

Veers: To check if you have one?

Motti: ...Thanks for your concern and support.

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Veers: Firmus, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Piett, after listening to Venka too much: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Veers: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Lorth.

[fandomsniper]

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ

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Veers: For my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law.

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Veers, after surviving Hoth: You guys call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from the universe.

Piett: And what did the doctor's call it?

Veers: Severe internal bleeding and a miracle I'm alive.

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Krennic, on the phone: Hi, it’s Orson.

Tarkin: What did he do this time?

Krennic: No, Wil, it’s me Orson.

Tarkin: Oh… what did you do this time?

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Motti: If you have 10 cookies and I ask for 2, how much do you have?

Veers: 10. I don't share my food with you.

Motti: Okay...?? Rude.

Motti: What if I forcefully take 2?

Veers: 10 cookies and a dead body.

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Venka: Hey, if I turned into a zombie, would you kill me?

Lastok: ...Yes. But I'd feel bad about it and probably hesitate.

Venka: I appreciate that. Thank you.

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Heert: Is that a jar of bees?

Lastok: You never know what you might need in the field!

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Piett to Venka: I don't have anger issues, Lieutenant. You make me angry and that's the issue.

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Venka: Sorry I couldn't hear you over my internal monologue.

[fandomsniper]

🪤

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Krennic: I wanted to apologize.

Tarkin: Good.

Krennic: Let me finish. I said I wanted to. And then I realized that I'm not sorry.

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Motti: Veers gave me a ‘get better soon’ card.

Needa: That’s…nice. I think.

Motti: I’m not sick. He just thinks I could do better.

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Needa: You're smiling. What happened?

Piett: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Veers: Venka tripped and fell down the stairs today.

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Lastok: I trust Venka.

Heert: You think he knows what he's doing?

Lastok: I wouldn't go that far.

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Piett: Why do you act like you're always right? It's annoying.

Krennic: Unfortunately I'm always right. Everything I say, it's a fact not an opinion.

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Motti: As an empath my heart really aches when you guys are losers.

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Needa: That's a great shirt, Max. 

Veers: Thanks Lorth. 

Needa: It'd look even better on Firmus' floor. 

Piett: .....Are you hitting on Max for me??

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Heert: My social battery has exploded, killing several innocent bystanders.

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Covell: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Venka, to Lastok: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Lastok: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Venka: Good thinking.

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Motti: Save a horse, ride the aristocrat.

Jerjerrod: *looks at Piett* What does he mean? 

Piett: …I’m staying out of this.

[fandomsniper]

[fandomsniper]

:3

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Krennic, sarcastically: I bet you're real fun at parties.

Thrawn, instantly: You'd know if were invited.

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Needa, concerned: Why is Max lying face-down on the floor and crying? What the hell happened?

Motti: Piett yelled at him.

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Jerjerrod: Conan, what does "breedable" mean?

Jerjerrod: Conan?

Motti: Tiaan, it's 3 in the morning.

Jerjerrod: Am I breedable?

Jerjerrod: To you.

Motti: Please. Stop saying that.

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Krennic: Do you think together in every universe?

Tarkin: I hope we aren't.

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Piett, texting Veers: I'm going to strangle you the next time I see you.

Veers, replying: Can you even reach my neck?

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Lastok: You look like a painting from the rain a sauce

Lastok: rainesaunce

Lastok: ressasaunce

Heert: The Renaissance. 

Lastok: Yess

Heert: That's so sweet.

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Covell: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person? 

Venka: Half-full, definitely.

Venka: Half-full and constantly rising.

Venka: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

[fandomsniper]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

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Motti: And now we’ve lost Veers!

Piett: What? What do you mean we’ve “lost Max”?

Motti: We had him, now we don’t. Keep up!

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Motti: Are you ready to commit? 

Veers: Like, a crime or a relationship?

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Motti: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 

Jerjerrod: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Motti: Stop.

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Krennic: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Tarkin speed-run the five stages of grief as he realises that he still wants to fuck me.

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Venka: Oh, here's my award for being the most annoying crew member! 

Lastok: That's not an award, it's an angry letter from Admiral Piett. 

Venka, hanging it on his wall: Well, it has the world 'most' on it, so I'm calling it an award!

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Heert: Can I be frank with you guys? 

Covell: Sure, but I don't know how changing your name's going to help. 

Venka: Can I still be Venka? 

Lastok: Shhh, let frank speak.

[fandomsniper]

prolly one of my fav batches of imp memes

[fandomsniper]

I need sleep

[fandomsniper]

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Krennic: Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.

Veers: You weren’t listening, were you? 

Krennic: Nope.

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Krennic: I'm not drunk.

Tarkin: Yes, you are.

Krennic: I am NOT drunk.

Tarkin: Alright then, can you tell the time?

Krennic: Yes, *turns to the clock* I am not drunk.

Tarkin: .....

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Maximilian Veers, while crashing into things: I'm great at driving!!!! Stop trying to jump out of the car Needa!!

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Veers: Guys, there is a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.

Motti, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

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Needa: Okay, guys, what did we say about self-care?

Piett: More espresso less depresso.

Needa: Try again.

Motti: Don't be sad. Sad backwards is das, and das not good.

Needa: ...no.

Veers: It be like that sometimes.

Needa: NO.

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Lastok: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

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Piett: Venka has no survival skills. His need to win has replaced them.

Needa: That can't be true. 

Piett: Watch this.

Piett: Lieutenant Venka, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

Venka: *Throws himself out a window*

[fandomsniper]

have a cookie 🍪🍪🍪🍪

[fandomsniper]

🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️