#heck yeah cannibalism!!!

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

I’m not letting you eat my finger.

- @muppetjokernum8ereightfan

pretty plea2e 🙏

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

Nothiin bettr thn caniibalii2m

wait can I eat apples or is that cannibalism

[normansnt]

Almost got you, bitch

(Hazbin Adam x fallen angel!Male reader)

No warnings I think perhaps cursing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were a fallen angel.

You questioned heavens doings after finding out about the extermination, and of course heaven didn't like that.

When you fell, your best friend, Adam, was the most pissed off. Granted he was the one who told you about it one night when he was drunk and you had to get him home but he didn't know you were gonna make such a fuss about it.

You were in heaven, everything was fine you had your friends there, no one important to you fell before you, and most importantly you had him there, your best friend. Why would you care about those misfits in hell??

All though he shouldn't have been surprised, even though you put on a hard shell and make very similar jokes than himself you are a kind soul, a very kind one at that always helping others. But still, you fell, you are not here with him anymore. That sucked.

*flashback*

Heaven was a pretty new invention and adam and eve were trying to settle, for that god sent an angel, you.

When you knocked on the door adam went to open it.

"Who the fuck is here this early?" Was the first sentence he ever spoke to you.

Now you aint gonna take shit from nobody.

"Im the fuck who is here get you asses moving cuz we're going to heaven" you said with an equally annoyed tone.

Thats when Adam knew he liked you. And with the same amount of sass to each other the two of you became fast friends.

"I Almost got you, bitch" yelled Adam. You guys were playing flying tag cuz he just got his wings and they were completely new to him.

"You wish, fucker" you answer with a shit eating smirk. You were the one to teach him how to fight, the one who helped him through his divorce withe eve, you were his best friend.

*end flashback*

"...Shit" adam called seraphim, an idea occurred to him, how about they move up the next extermination, that way he has a reason to get down there sooner and bring you back, also slather some demons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in hell, the first thing you saw was someone trying to cut out your organs.

"WAAHH...MOTHERFUC-- WHAT THE HECK R U DOING??" You jumped up and started yelling at the demon.

"Calm down pretty boy, the cannibals pay good money for fresh organs like yours."

"Well guess what jackass I dont give tiny rats ass how good those fuckers pay you my organs aint for sale" and with that sentence you quickly kicked him in the nuts and when he fell to the ground brocke his neck. Yeah...you were kind but god help people who mess with you...literally.

"Well shit, never had to fight without wings."

"...Interesting, and here I thought I would have to come to your rescue in exchange for your soul." Came a...static voice from behind you.

"Uhhh...thank you?? I guess, but there will be no taking my soul." You looked at the grinning man in a red suit.

"Such a shame, you'd be my first fallen angel"

"...Ok, listen can I help you with something ooooorr??"

"Not particularly I just wanted your soul, but alas that ship has sailed, however since you just fell I assume you have no where to stay" his grin stretched a bit as he said that.

"Well, you assume correctly but Im not gonna agree to any deal you have to offer just for a place to stay"

"Well, well, you are smart one even though angles can be so gullible, but no there is no deal the only thing you'd have to do is perhaps act nice"

"I can do that." you answered finally smiling at the strange man.

"They are coming" you whispered to yourself. After you arrived in hell, Alastor offered you a place in the hazbin hotel and you were happy to take it. This was over 7 months ago, in that time you grew close to everyone who was there, they were your found family and now you will protect them even if its against you first family.

Today was the day of the extermination, the day you'd have to fight heaven, the day you's have yo fight Adam. Even though you never admitted to yourself you had deeper feelings for him than friendship, but since he literally went around fucking bitches that kind of lowered your hopes.

The fight was raging on. Since you were the one who literally trained these exorcists they were no match for you. However Alastor was supposed to take on Adam, and that worried you. You knew how powerful Alastor is supposed to be but you have seen Adam's powers first hand.

Just as you suspected Alastor couldn't take on Adam. So Charlie had to take over which made you even more worried. You climbed up and saw Adam hitting Charlie into the hazbin hotel sign.

"NO" you yelled

Adam turned towards you with a smile that said he was ready to kill, that disappeared however when he saw that it was you.

"(Y/N)...."

He looked at you for a moment when someone punched him out of no where.

"Oh shit" you said while looking at Adam flying away and than back at who punched him. Lucifer.

"Lucy?" U asked baffled. You met him when he was still in heaven. Personally you loved his creative ideas while the making of earth so you guys would talk a lot. You also found it highly unfair when he fell and considered going after him, but Adam held you back.

"...Who--? SHIT (Y/N)? Omg why tf are you down here??" He asked half pissed half happy to see you.

"Well a little this, a little that, you know, also I fucking fell so." You replied while hugging him.

"How many of you fuckers do I have to beat before I can take (Y/N) home with me" said Adam very pissed after crawling out from the window he was punched into.

"What?" You asked

"I'm the only one that matters, you messed with my daughter and now Im gonna fuck you" said Lucifer proudly smirking. Everyone went silent while you were trying to hold back your laughter.

"Khmm...its fuck you up, dad" corrected Charlie

"Wait what did I say?" Asked Lucifer confused.

After this a kind of...fight started between Lucifer and Adam. Well, only adam was fighting Lucifer was mostly changing forms.

It was quite funny to watch.

At the end Lucifer won over Adam and he wanted to kill him, but your body moved on its own and you threw yourself at Adam.

Charlie also told his dad to stop.

You stood up from Adams body.

"Take your angel army, and go home" you told him in a soft tone.

He painfully stood up and looked at you with sadness...and something you couldn't quite place.

"(Y/N)..." come with me, please. Is what he wanted to say, but he knew you are still mad at him and that your answer will be no. Or he just didn't want to seem vulnerable in-front of demons.

"I Almost got you, bitch"

Your lips twitched upwards a little bit.

"You wish, fucker"

And with that the angel army and adam flew up to heaven.

When adam arrived in heaven, something downed on him.

"Fuuuuuuckkk..IM GAY-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is he an (at best) mid white man who thinks he is the shit?

Yes.

Is he a fucking loser though and a lil bitch

Also yes.

BUT YK WHAT.

HE IS FUNNY AF I LOVE HIM AND HIS SONGS R FUCKING AWSOME.

HOPE MY FELLOW ADAM ENJOYERS LIKED IT THOUGH😎

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡

[jeezlouiseoncheese]

yeah, I know that “the Fears work differently in TMAGP” and all, but isn’t it weird how much the Eye (for the most part) seemingly doesn’t? Like, lots of the fears in TMA had cults and roles and practices closely tied to their existence, and only the Eye gets to keep both the Institute (and, assumedly, by extension the Archive, which is already established as something core and closely important to the Eye outside of Jonah Magnus’ involvement) and its Archivist/s? Heck, it even keeps the tape recorders, despite them being so closely tied to the Web in TMA— while the rest of the Fears become more and more muddled together, the Eye as a Power seems to be far more separate and powerful.

The other entities left may have semblances of avatars, but none of them represent one clear Fear anymore, not like [ERROR] clearly represents the Eye. I mean, what is Mr Bonzo? The Stranger? The Flesh? The Slaughter? None of the “externals” fit clearly into one or the other, beside maybe Lady Mowbray. And even then, she’s got cannibalism mixed in, so there’s hints of Flesh again. And to add onto that, none of them seem to understand what they’re doing. Sure, most of them understand that it feels good and they want to do it, but none of them seem to understand what’s behind it. We haven’t met any cult fanatics with strange powers or people who use their patrons to their advantage. There’s no apparent Smirkes or Leitners trying to understand or catalogue them, not counting whatever the OIAR’s trying to do, given that’s probably at least partially led by the Eye itself with jmj and FR3-D1. Meanwhile, whoever or whatever [ERROR] is, they clearly understand their role. Their purpose seems a lot clearer than the other Externals, clearly connected with the tape recorders rather than being done just out of a need to feed or for murderous fun. Not to mention Eye-aligned things have always had more clear roles and purposes as opposed to other avatars— we don’t get examples in TMA of Eye avatars or entities outside of the Archivist(s) and the Pupil of the Eye, to the point (in my opinion) I don’t think there are any. Ink5oul doesn’t know why she does what she does, and she’s terrified. [ERROR] clearly understands why and what it is, even if we the audience don’t know that yet. I think it’s clear to me that the Eye may have been tricked in order to get out, but it still has some power above the other Fears in this universe. It’s still early enough that the other entities don’t have cults who know their names or establishments that serve them in secret, but the Eye already has the OIAR through FR3-D1 and jmj. It’s already watching. It tried something with the Magnus Institute already, it’s already planning things. Usually that’s the Web’s job, but we haven’t really seen much Web-adjacent stuff. A little addiction related things, sometimes a little creepy-crawlers and losing control a little, but nothing obviously Web (at least in my opinion). No spiders (sad. My arachnophobe brain misses being spooked by that in audio form), no manipulation, no grand plan you can’t— okay maybe a little of that. But it’s not as huge a focus as all the Eye stuff is, which is… weird. The rest of the fears seems to be grouped up together as more of a conglomerate of “Externals” that the OIAR (which is very Eye-aligned atm) “works” with in some way (interesting dynamic there. just reinforces the whole “the eye has the power still” idea for me), but the Eye remains separate.

Just makes me really curious how that’s going to develop once these Externals get more clued in on what they’re feeding.

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

ehehehehe

u thiink ii only 2ent u one fiinger? ehehehe iim not telliin the locatiion of the re2t u cn fiind em ur2elf

A scavenger hunt... It's like habitat enrichment....

[verboselocket38]

I think about this a lot when watching the show but like.... Just because the Vees are horrible people doesnt make the main characters any better?

Angel dust killed people, Alastor killed and ate people, Husk was a former overlord and owned the souls of many people, when Charlie saw her friend have a horrible boss whos been hurting him she doesnt do ANYTHING despite being the PRINCESS OF HELL. Theres a difference between being nice and being stupid, and Charlie is just stupid... like PAINFULLY stupid and childish.

Just because you try to show a character who is a "Worse Murderer" does not mean crap since your other characters literally killed people as well! They suck as much as the "worse murderer" if they killed ONE PERSON.

When Charlie wants sinners to be redeemed, it doesnt seem she puts rules on who can or cant go to heaven. So basically all they have to do is just do a bunch of trust exercises and trust falls and all their crimes are forgotten and they can happily prance in heaven with their victims 😊

People say that this is suppose to be apart of Charlie's "Nativity" and like- fine. I could of been OK with that if it wernt for...

A) Charlie was born in hell, she should know or feel that all the stuff seen and done in hell is "normal" by their societal standards

and

B) IF THOSE EXERCISES DIDNT WORK

Heres the thing, Sir Pentious goes to heaven in the final episode. All he did throught the series is trust exercies and that bit at the end to protect the hotel (He didnt sacrifice himself guys, if he did he would of atleast got a hit on Adam). I know his backstory will be mentioned in season 2 but assuming he killed someone when he was alive, that is not enough to redeem someone. I love Pentious but he doesnt deserve heaven, I'm sorry 😭

Like yeah- the Vees suck as people (Especially Val) but you cant act like the main characters are good people when they do the bare minimum and believe doing less drugs and trust exercises excuse you for murder.

Heck... Even in Helluva Boss our Main Characters are assassins and Striker, who is also an assassin, is the bad guy cuz hes trying to kill Stolas. They try to paint striker as "worse" when our main characters are equally as bad.

It doesnt matter if a character commited more murders than some other person that murders. At the end of the day they are still murderers.

Rosie: "She's flawed.... But who down here isnt?" BISH YOU ARE A CANNIBAL, THAT ISNT A FLAW.

Charlie: "Sinners made mistakes too when they were alive" MY GUY MURDER AND R*PE IS NOT A MISTAKE, ITS A HORRIBLE ACT. THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE WHEN DOING THOSE THINGS!

Sorry about the long post but this just makes me mad and I had to rant about it :/

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 13 His POV

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

(He wanted to eat the person he liked…?)

In this case it wasn’t a euphemism for love, but literally that dead man’s intent.

Roger: —Could it be that…

His cursed sin is…cannibalism?

(I’ve never Cursed One with cannibalistic urges. There’s no past data. But…)

But when you think about everything that happened—It all made sense.

(That guy…was really Cursed)

He didn’t know he was Cursed and didn’t know that his urges were from his cursed fate. He died blaming himself.

(Ah, it happened “again”. I…led another innocent “Cursed One” to their death…”again”.

Roger: “‘Cursed One’s’ tragic fate can’t be altered. In the past, there have been no exceptions.”

That’s so true, it makes me laugh.

Kate: Um, Roger…

???: Hey, hey. A man dressed in all white with a nice smile and parted bangs just told me something.

You were talking about the murder from last night.

(...?)

I turned around and saw a stranger leaning against the counter with a smile.

Kate: And you are…

Nicholas the novelist: Just some insignificant novelist called Nicholas. And these are…

Michael the playwright: Michael, a playwright.

Joanna the caricaturist: Joanna, a caricaturist.

Barkeep: Ah, these three are people of culture who are regulars here. They like to stick their noses in other people’s business.

Nicholas the novelist: We have to! We’re always looking for inspiration for our works.

Man tries to eat a girl with red hair. It’s like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood.

Joanna the caricaturist: Don’t lump this together with a childish fairytale like Little Red Riding Hood. It’s an insult to a sensational incident.

Michael the playwright: A bloodstained girl and a man standing over her in shock. Aha, I have an idea!

(...Ah, I see…these guys…)

The reason why they came to be known as “Fairytale Curses” is because of novelists, playwrights, and the like who created works based on existing “Cursed Ones”.

But nowadays, the relationship’s been reversed and they’re referred to as “Fairytale Curse”.

My curse is the Double-Crossing Hunter.

Elbert’s the Greedy Queen, Alfons the Mirror.

The reason for these names must have come from Cursed Ones that lived before us.

Tonight, another fairytale would be born from a Cursed One.

(I know people are free to create what they want and no one can fault them for that)

(—However)

Michael the playwright: I hope more tragic incidents happen. That way I can create the best stage performances!

Nicholas the novelist: More material for our works! Haha, just kidding!

Next thing I knew I was slamming my mug down on the table as if to cut their laughter off.

Roger: They didn’t die to be a spectacle for you lot.

Michael the playwright: Ah, erm…

Nicholas the novelist: Um…We didn’t mean to make fun of people’s deaths.

Joanna the caricaturist: That’s right. Just having jokes at a bar.

I heard voices repeatedly try to defend themselves within my distant consciousness.

I was already well aware that the “sinfulness” of “Cursed Ones” couldn’t be understood.

That’s why they’re “curses”.

Roger: —Just kidding.

Michael the playwright: …Huh?

Roger: You were starving for stimulation, so I thought I’d surprise you.

Michael the playwright: …Wha

What the heck! You scared me!

Roger: Ahaha, sorry.

Michael the playwright: That performance was so real. Want to join my troupe?

Nicholas the novelist: You can scout later. Let’s have a drink as thanks for surprising us!

Roger: Yeah, sure.

They’ll never know what we “Cursed Ones” mourn over or what’s fated ends are.

So I just pretended that nothing happened. This “acceptance” was a technique I took up to get by in this world.

—However, there was one person beside me that didn’t agree with this acceptance.

Kate: Roger…

There was a hint of anger in Kate’s voice and disapproval in her eyes. 

(...Kate, you’re too nice. You’re the only one willing to stand with the Cursed)

Kate was a kind person and now held feelings for the Cursed, Crown included.

That’s why there wasn’t a need to feel worried or hurt anymore.

Roger: Hmm?

I downed my beer and ruffled her hair like usual.

Kate: Stop…

Roger: We heard what happened. The investigations’s over so there’s no point in digging any deeper.

Kate: I don’t think that’s how you truly feel.

(—Yeah, you’re right, Kate. It’s not…how I truly feel)

When Kate wasn’t looking, I went outside. The rain poured down relentlessly, but I didn’t care.

Alone, pitch-black despair that I’d been holding back starts creeping up from beneath my feet.

(If we told Lance “you’re a Cursed One” back then, would things have changed?)

I could imagine all the what-ifs I wanted, but the dead never return.

~~

My dear little friend, you will no doubt encounter despair in the future. However, don’t let yourself be defeated.

~~

I remembered the words of a dead friend, words that I’ve repeated over and over.

(...I’ll be fine. I won’t let despair consume me)

(I’m strong, I won’t be defeated, I won’t be lonely, I won’t let my soul rot, and…I’ll fulfill my ambition)

(That’s why I’ll be fine. …I’ll get back up and continue like nothing’s happened)

(I still don’t know if there’s a shadow watching over me)

And that its existence will save me.

Next

[maddragon15]

Guys I was in the middle of sketching Jevin for hermitaday and I saw on twitter that there was an unused vampire grian skin. So I immediately had to drop the sketch and draw the skin.

Was it worth it? Oh most definitely. Am I going to go a bit insane on vampire mumbo and vampire grian aus? Heck yeah. Like the implications that vampire grian has dark/black hair is kinda insane bc does that mean mumbo had different colored hair?? Or are we going with good ol shapeshifter mumbo who happens to like blood a little too much? I wanna know the details man. But this goes wonderfully with convex cannibals and I will be drawing the three interacting later. Also I still need to post my hcs but it's been well worth it participating in hermitaday bc well it semi forces me to do daily art again. Also also sorry about the ramble, I mean this is tumblr after all and is expected but I'm far too invested in silly little block people and the what-ifs of storytelling :3

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

well iif u wherent a COWARD ud not miind about that

Unfortunately it appears the effects of my prototyping do not extend to the carapatians, I held out hope for what the innards would taste like but not a morsel of the baroness is as scrumptious as the imps back home.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

The way the Romans thought about Christians is so funny to me cause it's like... well the way I've phrased it is that the Christianoi are Death Cult Hippies basically.

Atheists? Unclear.

Incestuous. They're brothers and sisters but the kiss each other all. the. time. IN PUBLIC!? Imagine what happens at night...

Early on Sunday Mornings and late at nights they rise together to hold "Love Feasts" aka Orgies, Cannibalism (of their god???)

Won't stop talking about torture devices. They have this weird magic ritual called "the Sign of the Cross"

Super into death (initiates must go into Death and come back out alive) and zombies (their god is a zombie? they wish to be zombies?)

Always hanging around cemeteries and tombs. They hold religious worship at gravesites and catacombs, writing on the walls for the dead to pray for them (??). So creepy.

Always. Singing. Also some of them speak in weird languages

Despite the constant singing they are very anti-social. Anti-music, anti-theatre, anti-schooling (??), heck, lots of them won't even wear jewelry or perfume or cosmetics!

They keep taking trash (i.e. infants, esp girls and deformed boys, that were left out to die) and raising them as children

Pacifist? Communist?? Anarchist??? Seriously like they won't serve in the military, won't serve in public office (insisting rather to "pray" for the nation to their god. For it's peace or it's fall, who knows?), the part of the cult in Jerusalem lives in common. By refusing to worship the gods they are in defiance against the cultural and political character and the very nature of Rome itself.

Their god is born of... a virgin?? And she consented!? And then their god died... the death of a slave... intentionally!?!?!

Religion of Women and Slaves. Like seriously. They are farrrrr too inclusive. Multi-ethnic, heterogenity, way to much focus on women's roles, disregard for social classes, etc. Also why do so many slaves (the basis of our economy) convert to this religion???

On one hand, obviously, never persecute anyone. Even if they are a dangerous hippie death cult. But also... like my religion sounds like a hippie death cult! I can completely understand. If i was a roman, I'd want these people killed too lol. These people clearly CLEARLY are "the cause of every public disaster, of every affliction with which the people are visited. If the Tiber rises as high as the city walls, if the Nile does not send its waters up over the fields, if the heavens give no rain, if there is an earthquake, if there is famine or pestilence, straightway the cry is, 'Away with the Christians to the lions!"

So... yeah. The Christians were goth and everyone knows the Romans hate Goths lol

[mage-ical-character-person]

You know I was wondering what the heck the Vees thought they were talking about when they mention a power vacuum in their bit of the song in The Show Must Go On. Like what are these idiots hoping to accomplish?

and I just now realized.

They say “Overlords hanging by a thread”. “Overlords” plural. Which is weird, because that would mean they’re not just talking about Alastor, but the battle was entirely focused on the hotel.

The only other Overlords even slightly involved are Rosie and Carmilla. So let’s take a look at that for a second! Both of them put a lot of resources into the battle, even if they weren’t present for it themselves.

First of all: Rosie

Rosie’s entire population was sent to the battle. When she’s talking to Charlie before Charlie’s first attempt at her speech, Rosie says

“I can’t exactly command all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle”

“This group sticks together, so in order to convince any of them, you’ll need to convince all of them”

So it seems pretty clearly implied that all of Rosie’s Cannibals were sent into battle. We know that some of them perished, and more were probably injured, which would probably leave Rosie at least a little vulnerable. We don’t know exactly how many Cannibals were lost, and saying she’s “hanging by a thread” seems like a stretch, but the event likely did set her back, and her Cannibals will need time to recover.

I do also feel like the fact that they all ate angel meat will have some sort of effect. Not sure what kind, but angel blood glows and it seems like there would be some weird properties there. Not sure if it’s good or bad.

Either way, Rosie loosing some of her Cannibals would leave her more vulnerable than usual after the battle, even if only slightly. And her association with Alastor means Vox probably has beef with her, so it makes some sense for the Vees to see this as an opening, especially coupled with Alastor being injured and, at the time, missing. He wouldn’t be able to provide Rosie with much backup in that state. (Alastor’s back now and pretending to be fine but I doubt that.) Having both of them in a weakened state at the same time is probably unheard of.

And with how weird Vox is about Alastor, targeting Rosie to mess with him is something I could see happening. I don’t know if that would go well for the Vees, because we haven’t seen what Rosie is capable of, and we haven’t seen much of what Vox is really capable of when facing off against anyone other than Alastor, who has a talent for making Vox act stupider than usual.

Then we have Carmilla, and her case is very interesting, because while she only provided weapons for the battle, that’s still a big investment of resources. Angelic steel is very, very hard to come by in hell, and she provided quite a lot of weapons. While she’ll probably get a good number of them back, there’s a bigger issue here.

Carmilla’s business and by extension her status as an Overlord relies on selling weapons made with angelic steel. Carmilla gets angelic steel from weapons left behind during exterminations.

and uh

Yeah I’m not sure how that’s gonna go for her. Cause it seems like her supply of the materials she needs to stay in her position of power just got cut off completely. Especially since Heaven now knows that leaving behind weapons is what provides the only method of killing angels. After Adam’s death I really don’t think they’re making that mistake again.

So Carmilla seems to be on a track that leads to her power dwindling as she runs out of resources. Sure, she can just work in dealing normal weapons with high craftsmanship, but without her claim to fame of selling weapons that can permanently kill, she will lose a lot of power and influence.

I’m sure Velvette will enjoy that.

Overall, though, while I still think the Vees are dumb and impulsive and biting off more than they can chew… their part of the Finale song makes just a little more sense to me now. Three Overlords in weakened states might leave them some sort of opening.

They really shouldn’t mess with Alastor, though, because not only does Vox lose all logical thought around him, but Charlie considers Alastor a friend by this point. And she is the Princess of Hell, and very protective of her friends. Though she probably wouldn’t hurt the Vees unless she absolutely had to. She’s definitely not a fighter except in extreme circumstances. Katie Killjoy notwithstanding.

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

Photo ii took earliier

[muppetjokerno1haterrr]

u need part2??

making a homunculus is much harder than i thought itd be

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Dancing 'til the break of dawn - Pt1

(TWST zombie apocalypse au for all your crack-fic needs)

Yuu would like to make one thing very clear: he did not start the zombie apocalypse on purpose.

In fact, he would like to argue that it – probably – would have started even without his help! Yeah, so he might have accidentally fed and housed a zombie cat because he had mistaken it for a very unfortunate stray on its last legs, and the zombie cat had bitten his parents, turning them into zombies, which kickstarted the apocalypse… but how did that zombie cat come to be? Hm? Hm?

The apocalypse was inevitable! He swears!

But, uh… he would admit that maybe taking in Grim was not the brightest decision he had ever made.

Or maybe it was an amazing plan. He hadn’t yet been attacked by a zombie. He was pretty sure that the zombies were a hivemind of sorts, and since he was nice to Grim they were all cool with him… or something. Maybe he was just uniquely disgusting to the point where no one wanted to eat him. Which was a weirdly insulting thought to have, so he preferred to believe that Grim was doing him a heck of a solid.

Which had its own problems. Had he accidentally sacrificed the entire human race for the sake of saving his own skin? Because that would be, at least, the tiniest, littlest bit messed up, he thought.

He rubbed his weird zombie cat’s head. Grim was a strange looking thing, with green skin and a face that was visibly on the verge of rotting. However, Grim was still a cat, Yuu was pretty sure, and therefore he deserved all of the love. He opened his arms, smiling when Grim readily hopped into them for the sake of pets. The texture was close to that of a hairless cat, save for a tiny patch of moss on the end of its tail, which looked soft, but Yuu had no intentions of touching it. Not right now, at least. Maybe if this zombie apocalypse survival stuff got too hard he would give in to temptation despite the very high likelihood that it could end in him getting infected.

Maybe tomorrow would be the day, he mused absently. After all, he was running low on supplies. He’d need to leave the safety of this random apartment and find a convenience store or something of that nature sometime soon, otherwise he’d starve to death.

But he didn’t wanna. Do you know how hard it is to find a store that hasn’t already been ransacked? Would you want to have to evade groups of humans who had taken to cannibalism way too quickly? Do you think it’s easy to explain to people that, actually, the zombie cat isn’t parasitic and lying in wait until it can kill you? How good would you be at ignoring the screams of people being eaten by zombies? Like, really, his life was so awful. You would think it was karma or something! He would like to reiterate that he does not deserve this! The zombie apocalypse was not his fault!

He groaned and flopped down in bed with Grim, burying his face in a pillow. It smelled off, slightly dingy, but he wasn’t going to complain. It wasn’t like the old owner had known they were going to have the most uninvited of guests. And he couldn’t file a complaint, anyways, because chances were they were dead already.

He huffed and pressed a kiss to the top of Grim's head.

"Make sure to get a good night's sleep, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow," he mumbled. He wished he could say it was more to himself than anything, since he was aware that it was very weird to talk to a cat (a zombie version of a cat, no less), but... no. He was talking to Grim.

And Grim, to his credit, purred like he understood and settled down to sleep.

Yuu continued to stay awake for only a few moments more, his eyes remained trained on the ceiling as he pieced through his plan for the next day.

He ended up drifting off out of pure boredom before he had even finished planning his route.

It wouldn't matter anyways, though, surely tomorrow would be just another day.

~

Yuu sighed lightly as he trudged down the street. Zombies were avoiding him, as usual. He liked not being eaten, so this was nice.

The summer heat was not nice, though. He glowered at the orange skies above him as if he could will the sun to leave him alone already. It did not listen to him, which was disappointing, but he would live.

Probably. Hopefully.

He’d have an easier time living if Grim didn’t insist on being carried everywhere like the diva he was, because Yuu had seen him walk a few times, the lying prick, but fine. Whatever. It wasn’t like the ability to use his hands was necessary during an apocalyptic scenario or anything.

He was left to grumble incoherently as he continued on his search for a store that was still stocked enough to bother breaking into.

He found one… far sooner than he’d thought he would.

Suspiciously fast, actually.

He looked at Grim.

“What do you think, buddy?”

Grim blinked his one eye at him lazily.

This was practically a glowing endorsement! No zombies inside!

He deserves this, really.

He looked around for something to break the glass. It wasn’t difficult. He set down Grim despite the cat’s whining so he could pick up an abandoned brick. There was a dark red stain on the corner of it.

Ewwwwwwww. It was sticky.

He threw the brick at the glass door to the convenience store with probably a little bit more force than was entirely necessary. But, in his defense, it was gross to touch.

It wasn’t even worth it in the end! Because, the second he stepped towards the door, winding the cloth of his shirt around his hand so he could widen the hole enough for him to step through without injuring himself, the automatic glass doors slid open.

Yuu blushed. “Good thing no one saw that, right?” he said to Grim.

Grim, who he was beginning to suspect might actually know what he was saying, gave him what one could only describe as a raised eyebrow. Considering the cat only had half a face, making this expression was actually quite the feat. Yuu wasn’t sure how he felt about the effort the zombie put into making sure that he could accurately interpret how unimpressed he was.

He sighed, picked up the zombie again, and stepped inside.

The place looked like… well, just about any place in the apocalypse. Blood stained just about everything, rendering the food labels largely unreadable. The emergency lights still worked, but only barely, flickering more than the lights in a B-list horror movie. What had almost definitely once been a person was slumped in a corner, though it was almost unidentifiable now, its clothes missing and its guts torn out.

Yuu set down Grim so the zombie could go and have a snack.

Grim didn’t leave his side, instead he stayed close to his heels.

This, really, should have tipped him off that something was wrong. Grim never turned down the opportunity to eat.

Yuu, though, was too busy rubbing his thumb on a canned food label, trying to figure out what aisle he was currently in, to notice.

No, it wasn’t until Grim started growling lowly that he looked up.

A boy with a shock of messy red hair and clothes that were painted with way too much blood for it to only have been his own had been trying to sneak up on him. He had a knife out, and Yuu didn’t think that there was anything that needed cutting anywhere nearby.

Yuu shrieked and threw the can of beans at him. The redhead stumbled backwards, cradling his head, mumbling curses under his breath.

And then his expression twisted into a scowl. His grip tightened on his knife.

He took a step forward.

Grim hissed, baring fangs.

The redhead only spared a halfhearted glance down at the cat before turning his attention back to Yuu, who was scrambling for another can to throw.

And then the redhead did a double take.

He screamed and backed up a few steps, only barely stopping himself from dropping his knife in his surprise. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR CAT?!”

Yuu hesitated for just a moment too long. “Uhhhhh nothing is wrong with him.”

“THEY'RE GREEN?!”

“And you’re white but I wasn’t going to say anything about that,” Yuu sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

The boy spluttered. “First of all. I’m Japanese. Everyone here is Japanese. We’re in fucking Japan. Second. Of. All. Humans can be white! Cats can’t be green!”

“Explain Grim then,” Yuu argued.

There was no response. The boy was too stunned to speak. Because he had realized that Yuu’s logic checked out perfectly, no doubt.

Slowly, the redhead ran a hand through his hair. He pulled on a few strands, hard, seemingly trying to make sure he wasn’t asleep, or in some weird fever dream, or that he hadn’t been bitten and was now going insane… he didn’t seem to be all that glad to realize that everything in front of him was actually very real.

He sunk a little in defeat, leaning against a nearby shelf and eyeing Yuu warily, but at least he was no longer openly hostile. “What is wrong with you?” he asked, somewhere between exasperated and genuinely curious.

Yuu frowned. He was not sure he liked this line of conversation more than discussing Grim. Grim was green, after all! Out of the two, surely Grim should be getting all of the attention.

But he was pretty sure that saying that out loud might be considered ‘hypocrisy’, and despite the fact that this guy had definitely tried to kill him, he didn’t want to seem like a hypocrite in front of him!

Wait a second.

“I’m the weird one?! You were trying to kill me!”

Grim didn’t look particularly happy upon being reminded of this fact.

The boy didn’t seem happy that Grim wasn’t happy, because he immediately paled and rushed to say that, “No, I wasn’t!”

Yuu looked at the knife in his hand.

He cleared his throat and dropped it. He tried for an innocent smile, as if that would somehow make Yuu forget what he had literally just watched happen. “You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Because you tried to stab me,” Yuu said flatly.

He stuck his hand out. “C’monnnn, what’s a little stabbing between new friends?”

Now, Yuu should absolutely not take that hand. Someone that had almost stabbed him once would almost certainly attempt another stabbing in the future.

But he had started talking to a cat, as of late. A zombie cat that you could argue (to much success) that he had made the much worse decision to befriend in the first place. And that had turned out fine. For him, at least.

So, he jumped at the opportunity for a new friend. He grabbed his hand in both of his own, shaking it with what was almost definitely way too much enthusiasm.

“I’m Yuu.”

“Ace…” the redhead said. He tried to pull his hand away, but Yuu was half convinced that he would turn tail and run if he did that, so he held strong. Ace looked mildly bewildered by the entire situation. He looked at the zombie cat at Yuu’s feet for a few moments. The cat did not seem all that pleased by this newfound friendship – the way he eyed the pair’s interlocked hands spoke volumes. “I don’t think that they like me.”

“He doesn’t like anyone,” Yuu said, shrugging.

Ace hesitated, briefly. His eyes flicked over Grim a few more times.

Realization sparkled in his eyes as he realized what, exactly, Grim was.

He looked at Yuu again, something appraising in his gaze. Something wary.

Without looking away from Yuu, he reached his free hand into his pocket. He pulled out a scrap of mystery meat and dropped it on the floor for Grim.

Grim sniffed it, once, before eating it.

Ace breathed a sigh of relief when the cat gave him what was unmistakably a nod of approval.

(And then visibly had a crisis over the fact that he was, apparently, looking to a cat for approval.)

~~~~~~~

Pt2>

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #11

Starting with Weird Science.

TWO people named Grey participated in this show?

Cosmo: Ooh, what a tasty-looking dinner! I love potatoes! Me: Cosmo, aren't you allergic to potato skins? Cosmo: /eats the lightbulb. Me: ... Carry on.

Really cool hallway angle! Also:

angry.

Those dance and voting posters have been up for quite a while, which seems unusual for a school. Did we really skip several weeks forward in time with Episode 3, then everything is crammed in tight after that? Where's that dang moon? I need it.

Seriously, Sneezy Hawkins dance has been up since Hazel arrived, and it's been many weeks since then.

Cosmo and Wanda altering the laws of science in order to make her science project work is hilarious. Of course they would.

How many music rooms does 1 school need?

Hazel's class is near the entrance of school, 2nd floor. If you look at the school's front, she's on the right-hand side.

JORGEN'S BACK!! Time to wreck Hazel for altering physics.

Basically Hazel, with no sense of self-preservation: Jorgen, I tried using magic to cheat a competition. Jorgen internally: I'm very mad and also disappointed.

Dev is the grumpiest little meditator. Doesn't even chant, smh. Why does his bag say "Mediocre," are we gonna talk about that?

Hazel's parents are so caring.

Mystery She Wished

Oh, noir? I was just thinking about noir earlier toda- WANING CRESCENT!

Hazel and her dad watching movies together is cute. She likes scary movies and he likes the paranormal- They're a perfect pair.

"I have to charge my ghost crystals" okay Dad.

Cracking up at Hazel interviewing Wanda for her mystery. Big "Where's Wanda?" vibes.

I was sitting here like "Why is she asking Wanda?" and then I was like "Oh yeah, she still lives here. She lives across the hall. She pays rent." I like that Hazel thinks she's on bad terms with the landlady.

I said in Post 10 that I was sad we hadn't seen more of Cosmo and Wanda's life in the apartment because I felt like we were missing opportunities to engage with the environment (and see them struggling to be human). This is exactly what I wanted.

Cosmo: Unless... I did it and framed Wanda?

Okay, now you're just being meta. I was gonna not tell readers that you're responsible for Wanda's disappearance in "Where's Wanda?" and that's why it's funny Hazel's interviewing you two, but... that's WAY funny they put that in there.

Those are some... weird stares. Why do they look different than the other characters? Is it the eyes? Also, this guy sounds like Daran Norris.

I like how Cosmo and Wanda still have their crowns while in pencil and notepad disguise.

Hazel talking about how she had to sleep to recover from the mystery "and also because I'm 10 and can't set my own bedtime."

Hazel is being so weird to this poor kid. That's her first introduction to him; that's hilarious. He's probably a twin since he doesn't recognize her on their second conversation.

OG series Elvis? MARK CHANG??

Hazel's parents: We're going to dinner with the new family. Hazel: They're cannibals and I'm gonna die.

/staring intensely: "We always follow social norms and blend in! :)" What the heck is wrong with this guy? These two are totally aliens. Is that why Mark's picture was on the conspiracy board?

I like how Hazel's stuck in mystery mode until she solves the mystery because she wished to be like SDFKJSDFISOKJD OH NO-

Okay. She wished to be like the detectives on TV, who didn't use magic to solve their mysteries, and I should really pause before typing, but in my mind I was like "There's literally no way they're going to put an Easter egg in this pantry."

... Oh. I 100% thought I spotted the aliens from "So Totally Spaced Out" who were defeated by eating them, but upon rewinding and pausing, that looks like a regular rabbit.

Now I'm disappointed.

Twins! I was right. Also, this is a really dark episode for a show that still, this many episodes in, refuses to give me the child abuse I'm craving.

This is how normal people eat with guests.

... The twist is that they're doomsday preppers? I thought that was obvious? They said they were preparing for the end of the world and they were stockpiling supplies for that. Maybe I'm too old for this episode- I didn't know that was unclear to Hazel sdfklj. The plot twist at the end is still going to be they're aliens, I'm sure of it.

(It was not; there was no twist, although the parents did dump all their food on the ground. I fear we will never know who was there.)

Prime Meridian Love

Hazel's into both manga and anime! Nice. We might've heard about the manga earlier, but I forgot.

Jasmine: Don't tell us the whole story! I want to be surprised when I read it. Me, liveblogging: Uh-oh.

Finally a school dance after all those posters since Episode 1! ... Not the same dance! I'm dying inside.

She's totally gonna wish her manga fish crush into reality. Question is... Are we about to get a "can't wish away true love" plot, or totally different drama?

omfg, he's dying because he's a fish. That's not the direction I thought this was going. I could've sworn his wall poster depicts him on a cliff? I'll have to review when we're back in her room.

Kennueth: I will not fall for your siren song >:(

Whoops. Also, confirmation that humans can't know about magic!

Oh no, he's going to be obsessed with his own book and try to see the ending? Is that it? ...... No? Hm. I guess he's fine with it.

I don't have anything to say about this screenshot, but it should be appreciated.

FAIRY WORLD! ... I don't love that we're skipping straight to it? And now we're montaging through it? This is her second onscreen time and her first was at the dreary DMV, assuming I'm watching in the correct order. We don't get to see her being wowed? I'm kinda disappointed.

Oh, we're back in her room. That makes me sad. Also... I guess it's more common for 10-year-olds to have crushes than I thought, considering Timmy had one too. I should really look this up.

-> Oh, it is. Maybe I need to re-tune my allo characters; I always assumed crushes come with puberty, but apparently not.

Oh boy, Dev's about to be annihilated by a tall fish guy. I enjoy his expressions and tiny hands. Also, I really like how we sometimes get to see his eyes over his glasses since we didn't get that with the Pixies.

He looks like he's wearing the necklace from the manga. Is he a fan of the series and is he going to attend Hazel's book club since her friends couldn't? Finally friend?? (I doubt it).

Oh wait, maybe he will.

Hazel: ?? Are you a Super Meridian-head? :) Dev at a school dance:

"Get off my back about it!!" okay, goof.

I like how Kennueth described Dev's robotic companions as "metallic birds."

sldkfjsdljf, hang on, pause pause pause. Is Kennueth spoiling plot points Hazel doesn't know about and we're going to loop back to how her friends didn't enjoy her spoiling the manga? That's great!

Wanda dog-ears books... Good to know. I'm glad she's still implied to be a terrible librarian. Cosmo won't even share his books.

Hazel: Our friendship is more important than any book club! Me, who saw Mikey Munroe weasel a speedboat out of Bunsen with very similar words: Are we being for real right now?

sdlkfj, Hazel hitting him with the "I think we work best just as friends. I'm only 10." Okay, that's hilarious.

Hazel did not get upset about spoilers and Dev did not come to book club :(

Hey, this is related to nothing as I get my snack, but what was Poof doing during his parents' 10k-year vacation? I assume he went with them. He was in boarding school during Season 10 and maybe he still is, but... hm. Where's my boy? I know he's still canon; his picture's in Episode 1.

I'm gettin' nervous. -> Me, unfortunately didn't get more than 3 episodes into "Fairly Odder" and doesn't know if he showed up there.

Okay, but... Cosmo and Wanda wouldn't leave behind their son who's faced multiple kidnapping attempts, including from Jorgen: the man who wanted to yoink Poof and not let him visit his parents for centuries... right?

They wouldn't take their son away from Timmy, the brother he grew up with, and then ALSO ditch their son. Right?

Please tell me we're not going to get Poof with issues. I know I was confused in Liveblog 10 about the lack of child trauma in this show, but I didn't mean him.

-> Has given Aged-Up Poof more issues than literally any other character in my fanfics.