#heart punch

[sengardet]

Gertrude's Frail Heart

As the fight went on the princess staggered back, her sword slipping from trembling fingers momentarily. Eluna saw the moment of weakness—hesitation flashing in Gertrude’s pale blue eyes—and lunged.

With a feral growl, she seized the edges of Gertrude’s cuirass, fingers digging into the tarnished metal. The straps resisted, but years of battle-hardened strength surged through Eluna’s arms. She yanked with everything she had. Screws screeched, leather tore, and the armor peeled away like brittle bark from a tree. It hit the dirt with a dull thud.

The sight stopped Eluna cold for a heartbeat.

Beneath the thin layer of fabric clinging to Gertrude’s heaving torso, her chest quaked violently. Eluna’s dark eyes locked onto it—a vigorous and obscene rhythm that nearly hypnotized her. The massive heart beneath Gertrude’s sternum slammed upward with each beat, pushing against her chest unnaturally. Every thudding pulse looked like it might tear her apart.

"Your power...," Eluna spat under her breath, though her voice wavered slightly. She shook off the unease and stepped forward, fists clenching.  

Eluna wasn’t going to be drawn in. Far too many have met their fate at the hands of the boundless fighter.

"Get up, Princess," Eluna snarled, towering over Gertrude. "Show me how strong you really are." But Gertrude could only gasp, clutching at her exposed chest, her slender frame quivering under the strain. The sight of her so vulnerable stoked a deep satisfaction of a predator cornering its prey.

"Fine," Eluna growled. "I'll make you stand."

Energetic as she may be, a strike to the heart would surely wind anyone, even the mightiest of them. Eluna drew her fist back and drove it forward with brutal precision. Her knuckles collided directly over Gertrude's heart, sinking into the soft cartilage of her sternum and the bloated meat of her heart. Gertrude’s mouth opened in a silent cry, blood flecking her lips as her ventricles bulged visibly beneath her skin, caught mid-diastole, engorged and defenseless.

“Oh god! no!” Gertrude wheezed.

"Again," Eluna hissed.

Another punch, harder this time. The sickening sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed between them. A faint spray of crimson trickled from Gertrude's nostrils, sliding down her pale upper lip. Her ribs offered no resistance; they folded inward ever so slightly, bending under the weight of Eluna’s unrelenting blows. The princess's body jerked with every hit, her knees wobbling as if about to buckle.

"That's right. Taste your mortality," Eluna muttered, her voice low and vicious. The vascular mass was trembling against the trauma, visibly pressing outward with each desperate surge of life.

"Doesn't feel so noble, does it?" Eluna sneered, winding up for another strike.

Gertrude managed a whimpering protest. “No more! You can’t imagine how much that hurts.”

“That’s my heart you’re punching… my HEART!...what did you think- ” Gertrude huffed out in frustration.  Her eyes went vacant and she staggered backward, her body folding in on itself. Her arms crossed over her chest as though she could shield the fragile, trembling organ within. Each breath came shallow and wet, rattling through her throat. Blood streamed from her nose, a thin line of red trailing down to her lips where it mingled with spit.

"Stay down," Eluna growled, her voice sharp, merciless. But there was no need for commands; Gertrude had already crumpled to the ground, clutching at her chest. Her golden hair stuck to the sweat on her pale face, her blue eyes wide but unfocused, glassy with pain. The princess let out a pitiful whimper—a sound so small it barely escaped her lips—before curling herself into a tight ball. Her hands pressed against her sternum as if holding her heart together, nursing it, her body shivering violently with every erratic pulse.

"You can quit your façade, and fight me without mind games, you coward" Eluna spat, raising her boot. Without hesitation, she drove it into Gertrude’s side, sending the girl rolling onto her back. The impact forced a strangled cry from her, her arms flailing briefly before snapping back to cover her chest. Tears streamed from Gertrude's eyes now, her lips quivered as she gasped for air, her cries soft and broken.

"You're not even trying," Eluna snarled, stepping closer, her shadow falling over the defeated princess. Gertrude tried to scoot away, dragging her trembling frame across the dirt, but her strength failed her. Her hands remained locked over her chest, desperate to protect herself, driven by instinct.

"Enough of this." Eluna knelt swiftly, her hand shooting forward. She shoved Gertrude’s frail arms aside with ease, her palm pressing firmly against the other woman’s chest. Immediately, she felt the frantic, uneven rhythm of the punished heart beneath her touch. It recoiled under her hand, the swollen muscle spasming weakly as though trying—and failing—to resist her.

"Stop squirming," Eluna snapped, her tone more annoyed than angry, as if she was anticipating some great stall and recovery. Gertrude’s hands fluttered against Eluna's wrist, feebly attempting to push her away, but the effort was laughable. The once-proud warrior princess was utterly powerless now, her body betraying her with its fragility.

"Really, are you that weak?," Eluna muttered, leaning in closer. Beneath her palm, she could feel the plump ventricles distended and sluggish, their usual strength sapped by trauma. Each beat came slower, weaker, as though the organ itself were giving up.

As things rapidly got worse for Gertrude, Eluna had no choice but to realize Gertrude wouldn't get up. "I'm only doing this to spare my pride, you brat," Eluna said as she adjusted the pressure of her hand, her fingers splaying slightly to better feel the fragile movement beneath. Gertrude whimpered again, her tear-streaked face twisting with humiliation and pain. Her chest rose shakily under Eluna's palm, her ribs shifting ever so slightly as the distressed heart inside reduced to wobbling.

"Stop squirming, you look ridiculous, it's embarrassing" Eluna spat, smacking delicate hands away with a flick of her forearm. She pressed her palm harder against Gertrude's chest, feeling the soft cartilage of her ribs give slightly under the force. Beneath them, the heart struggled then stilled beneath the pressure of her hands as she forced blood through its valves and into Gertrude's needy body.

Eluna was annoyed, but there was something else there too—something begrudgingly attentive as her fingers adjusted their grip against the fragile framework of Gertrude’s chest. The sensation beneath her hand was disturbingly intimate—the meaty chambers of Gertrude’s heart distending in confused resistance and collapsing obediently at her whims, twitching weakly as they filled with blood.

"Come on," Eluna growled under her breath, her voice low and commanding.

Gertrude let out a whimper, overwhelmed and uncomfortable as palms shoved into her chest and made the veins in her neck distend from the harsh unnatural pressure. her head lolling to the side to hide her gritted teeth as fresh tears dripped from her lashes. Her arms fluttered again, trying to push Eluna off, but they were so frail that Eluna’s frustration deepened.

"Would you stop?" Eluna snapped, shoving the princess’s weak hands aside again. "You’re just making this harder for both of us." She pressed harder this time, flattening her palm against the plaint muscle with enough force to elicit a sudden gasp from Gertrude. The heart jumped beneath her touch, a fragile spasm that seemed almost startled by the pressure.

"See? That’s better," Eluna said sharply, though her tone had softened just a fraction. She could feel the faintest hint of improvement in the rhythm—still erratic, but more aggressive. The organ’s tremors were more deliberate now, beginning to obey the guidance of her hands.

"Embarrassing, isn’t it?" Eluna continued, her voice dripping with derision as she glanced down at Gertrude’s tear-streaked face. "Needing your enemy to keep you alive. You’re supposed to be this fearsome warrior, aren’t you? Is your secret weapon really such a big weakness?" She scoffed, shaking her head.

But as she worked, pressing her palm firmly into the plump, struggling organ, Eluna’s scorn began to waver. There was something unsettling about the way Gertrude looked up at her—wide-eyed and vulnerable, her blue gaze clouded with humiliation and pain. The once-proud princess, who had struck terror in her moments ago, now lay utterly exposed beneath her.

"God, you’re fragile," Eluna muttered, though the words lacked their earlier annoyance. Her cadence shifted slightly, adjusting to better match the rhythm as the heart stabilized. The meaty ventricles pushed back faintly against her palm, regaining strength in hesitant beats. Still, the vulnerability of it all tugged at something deep within her—a reluctant instinct to protect the pitiful creature beneath her.

"Don’t make me regret this," Eluna said gruffly, though her hands never faltered as they continued their work. As she explored the organ’s motions and guided its recovery, there was no denying the woman’s helplessness.

Gertrude’s chest heaved weakly beneath Eluna’s hand, her breathing shallow and uneven as the steady rhythm of her heart began to return under Eluna's care. The soft thud of the engorged chambers—hesitant, wobbly, but undeniably alive—pulsed against her palm, its warmth radiating through Gertrude’s trembling frame.

"Finally," Eluna muttered under her breath. She leaned back slightly, rolling her stiff shoulders, yet her hand remained pressed firm against the princess's ribs, unwilling to risk letting go just yet. Sweat glistened on Gertrude’s pale skin, her blonde hair clinging in damp strands to her forehead. Her blue eyes fluttered open, glassy with tears, and locked onto Eluna’s face.

"Don’t look at me like that," Eluna growled.

But Gertrude didn’t stop. Her frailty was unbearable.

"Ugh, you’re hopeless," Eluna said, exasperation bubbling up as she shifted her position slightly, still straddling the defeated princess. Her free hand hesitated, then moved to cup the side of Gertrude’s face firmly enough to silence the pitiful sound escaping her lips. "Stop crying. You’re supposed to be a fighter!"

"Are you…going to kill me?" Gertrude finally managed to whisper, her gaze darting away as if even asking the question was an admission of failure.

Eluna looked into Gertrude's pitiful blue eyes. "Kill you? do you want this to be how your legend ends? I'm embarrassed just looking at you." She leaned closer, her dark eyes narrowing as she studied the woman beneath her, one brow quirking upward in mock amusement. "No, I’ve got a better idea. I think I’ll keep you. You're more like an injured puppy than a fighter."

Gertrude’s lips parted, a mix of indignation and confusion flickering across her tear-streaked face. But before she could muster any kind of response, she started to cry uncontrollably. She turned her head slightly into Eluna’s palm, her pride crumbling further with every broken breath.

"Great," Eluna muttered, rolling her eyes as Gertrude dissolved into tears again. "Just great." She adjusted her grip, sliding her arm under Gertrude’s shoulders and pulling her upright. The princess collapsed against her without resistance, her head resting awkwardly against Eluna’s collarbone.

"Whatever, just let it all out," Eluna snapped, though her hold on Gertrude tightened instinctively.

Gertrude’s breathing slowed, her body going limp against Eluna’s as exhaustion overtook her. The princess nuzzled unconsciously into Eluna’s shoulder; her eyes fluttering shut as sleep claimed her.

"You're going to pay dearly for this," Eluna sighed, glaring down at the slumbering woman in her arms. For a fleeting moment, she considered simply dumping her onto the cold ground and walking away. But her arms refused to loosen their hold, and instead, the night's cold air prompted her to press Gertrude's body close to keep her warm.

[theactioneer]

Shootfighter: Fight to the Death (Patrick Alan, 1993)

[cloudyriffs]

Feeling a certain way for the past couple days so I drew this.... Helps to grab a pencil, sketch pad and draw your feelings. But only temporary. @iii-iv-xxii

[pithia]

It whacked me like a heart punch. But not an entirely bad one. Just one that jars you and lets you know you're feeling things.

—Rebecca Quin (Becky Lynch: The Man – Not Your Average Average Girl)

[minuiko]

So @jekacatrina wrote a phenomenal Pacific Rim AU that has me in an emotional stranglehold... everyone please give it some love:

Nobody else (Can take me higher) - Jeka - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own

[themisterhip]

💪TRAINING HARDER!💪 REVERSE AU MADE BY @zurka-durka

[demigods-posts]

walker being so much taller than leah allows for the perfect opportunity for annabeth to be completely baffled at how much percy grew over the last year. imagine annabeth punching that bully in the jaw bc he messed with her friend. only to turn around and be face-to-face with percy's chest. and he's oblivious to her confusion bc he's smitten and happy to see his smart, and pretty, and kind, and strong, and badass best friend. and annabeth is just fuming.

[love4hobi]

"I would appreciate it if you could let everybody know the warmth of Sergeant Jung Hoseok."

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Your honor, they were watering down my favorite character and not letting them be a jerk.

[caxycreations]

Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

[7kahart]

Give your heart?

[sengardet]

Beating the heart

Natoya's steps echoed ominously on the cold concrete floor of her private gym. The dim fluorescent lights above cast harsh shadows, illuminating every ripple of her lean, muscular frame. The boisterous fighting champion that stole her sister’s title trembled as Natoya approached; wraps adorned the taller woman's fists. Lana's pale, fragile form exposed and vulnerable, chained to the gym wall. Electrodes snaked from her heaving chest to the nearby ECG monitor playing a desperate rhythm.

Each beep of the monitor was a cruel reminder of her vulnerability, each spike in the green line a testament to her fear. Chains clinked softly as she shifted, her breath shallow and rapid.

"Ready for another round?" Natoya's voice was a low purr, layered with sadistic glee.

Cartilage crunched as Natoya's gloved fist smashed into the pale, trembling flesh of Lana’s chest. The ECG stuttered and Lana's naked body recoiled against its chains, fragile against the cold brick wall behind her. "Look at that precious little heart flutter," Natoya purred, dark eyes flicking between her prey and the wavering green line. "So proud of how big and strong it is, aren’t you? Well, doesn’t seem so strong now..."

"Such a delicate thing you are." Natoya murmured, leaning close enough to feel the heat radiating off Lana's trembling form. THUD, THUD, THUD a few jabs right to the sternum, eyes full of fury aimed at the helpless life fluttering beneath this delicate pink cage. Natoya felt the thrum of Lana's heart through her knuckles, pounding a terrified rhythm as its struggles played a desperate high-pitched song. Natoya's wrapped fist buried up into Lana's solar plexus, perfectly timed with a ragged inhale. The pathetic wheeze of escaping air was music to her ears. Lana twitched and gasped, struggling for breath. Natoya's dark eyes flicked to the ECG, drinking in the erratic flutter of Lana's heart.

Another round of punches followed, deeper and more forceful, aimed at the upper abdomen and timed not only with the breath but Lana’s mighty pulse. Pain exploded through Lana's core as Natoya's fists hammered into her diaphragm and sternum repeatedly. "P-please..." Lana whimpered between desperate gasps. "I can't... breathe..."

"Stop whining, little princess. I thought you were stronger than this!" she mocked -- her next jab stole Lana's pitiful plea away in a breathless yelp. The rhythm of her punches synchronized with the desperate rise of Lana's chest; every inhale met with a punishing blow.

"Your heart is working so hard," she taunted between hits, eyes darting to the monitor. "I wonder how much more it can take." Mercilessly, Natoya continued her assault, captivated by the bio-feedback dancing across the screen as her fists plunged into the billowing diaphragm before her. She reveled in dominating the life-giving cadence of Lana's lungs and heart. Watching the body and inner organs strain erratically at her command sent tingles of arousal through her core.

Back and forth between the heart and lungs, each punch was a calculated move. She was determined to stress Lana's cardiovascular system to its breaking point in a slow and humiliating beatdown.

"That's it," she purred, her voice a velvet dagger. "Give me that struggle."

Punished for her vital signs, Lana's eyes rolled back, her body slacked against the chains, every inch of her screaming for oxygen. But Natoya had no intention of granting it. She continued her assault, jabbing at the vulnerable cardio-respiratory system with relentless precision, ensuring Lana’s lungs never enjoyed a full breath, heart never enjoyed an uninterrupted beat.

Lana's gasps became desperate, her eyes wide with terror as her body convulsed against the chains. Sweat slicked her pale skin, making each muscle twitch more visible, each breath more labored. Her heartbeats turned frantic, a wild staccato that quickened, then slowed—struggling to keep pace with the punishment being meted out.

"That's it," Natoya purred, her voice a dark caress. She drove another punch into Lana's diaphragm, feeling the soft give of flesh as her fist invaded the woman’s guts.

The vitals displayed a chaotic dance of a green line and erratic pulses. Lana's eyelids fluttered, her head lolling forward as consciousness slipped away. Natoya paused, stepping back to admire her handiwork. The once rhythmic beeping of the ECG had devolved into a disjointed cacophony, signaling Lana's body's desperate struggle for survival.

"Almost there," she whispered, her voice dripping with sadistic pleasure.

With a feral growl, Natoya took a step back, her powerful legs coiling with pent-up energy. Lana whimpered, her slender form sagging in the chains, her chest heaving as her oxygen-starved heart fought futilely to keep pace.

"Time to finish this."

Natoya launched herself forward, her foot connecting with brutal precision against Lana's rib cage. The force of the kick drove Lana back against the wall, her ribs yielding to the assault, pressing cruelly against her struggling heart. Another kick followed, then another, each one a calculated strike designed to crush the last vestiges of resistance.

The ECG blared frantically, the peaks and valleys now a chaotic storm. Natoya's final kick landed with a bone-crunching impact, pinning Lana to the wall. The valiant heart within her pliant rib cage gave one last, desperate flutter before the line on the monitor flattened into a continuous, mournful wail.

[theactioneer]

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (Roy Ward Baker, 1974)

[kimbapisnotsushi]

haikyuu is cool because you go and read things like "talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish" "because people don't have wings we look for others way to fly" "today you are the defeated. what will you become tomorrow?" "we are the protagonists of the world" "and if you get really really good, someone even better will come and find you". and you read about how like. kageyama was learning to love again after it was ripped away from him and hinata was learning that he could jump high enough to become the sun itself and oikawa and ushijima and atsumu and kuroo and everyone else were all learning and trying and living with the hopes of becoming something greater than they ever could have dreamed but that something greater wasn't about winning it all it was about how they were so intricately tied that they will forever be part of the same path no matter how many times it splits and it's THE reason they are able to keep moving forward no matter what they may face. and then you're just expected to continue your life afterwards like nothing HAPPENED.

[piningintrovert]

Don't worry Ama, they already have 😌 JACK & JOKER: U STEAL MY HEART! (2024)

[rebellum]

Not to be all "I have a degree and I know more than you" but it really bothers me how the people on tumblr who are against the word transandrophobia being coined talk about feminism because they're all just like. So wrong. It's like half the time they're doing 1970s radical feminism and half the time they're just making shit up. Like jfc read a book watch a YouTube video feminism isn't what it's your heart it refers to several theories you have to LEARN ABOUT if you've never read or listened to anything about feminism then this is what you get. People who think the patriarchy doesn't harm men, and people who think "system of oppression" just means "people in power doing things to people without power" etc. Like words have meanings. You have to learn those meanings. You aren't engaging with feminist theory, you're just making shit up. If you don't know what Foucaultian discourse is, which is part of THE basic theories of contemporary feminism, if you don't know what performativity is (no, it's not performance), then you need to learn those before you engage with the theories. Like, fuck, man, I totally get being too tired from work or too disabled or whatever to engage with learning theory, but if that's the case then you should just say "I don't know much about the theory" instead of "I know that 'intersectionality' means people have more than 1 marginalised identity because my heart says it's true". Like, we aren't just saying random shit here, established theories arise from meaningful conversation and engagement with philosophy, lived experience, and research. You can at least put a video about feminism on in the background while you fucking video game.