#healthylove

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[ghada252]

[girltalkcollectives]

Why Most Relationships End at Stage 3 (And What Comes After)

Nobody tells you there are five stages of love. Or maybe they do, but we're too caught up in stage one to listen.

Stage 1: Falling in Love

God, isn't this part beautiful? Everything is perfect and new and exciting. The butterflies, the constant texting, the way they can do no wrong. Their jokes are always funny. Their little quirks are adorable. The way they breathe is somehow fascinating.

You stay up until 4AM talking about nothing and everything. Every song on the radio suddenly makes sense. You plan your entire day around the chance of seeing them. Even sitting in silence feels magical.

I remember thinking "this is it." Like I had somehow cracked the code to perfect love. Spoiler alert: I hadn't.

Stage 2: Getting Serious

This is when reality starts to blend with the magic. You're still in love, but now you're also building something. Meeting families. Planning futures. Moving in together. Making joint Netflix accounts (because that's basically marriage in 2024).

You start saying "we" instead of "I." You have inside jokes. You know their coffee order by heart. You can read their moods. You're a team. Or at least, you think you are.

The butterflies might fade a bit, but they're replaced by something deeper. Something real. You're not just in love anymore - you're choosing each other, every day.

Stage 3: What Happened?

And then... something shifts.

Suddenly their quirks aren't cute anymore. The way they chew is annoying. Their jokes aren't funny. The silence isn't comfortable - it's heavy. You start wondering if this is all there is.

This is where most relationships end. Right here. In this messy, uncomfortable space where the fairytale crashes into reality.

Their pedestal starts crumbling. You realize they're human. They make mistakes. They have flaws. They disappoint you. And worst of all? You disappoint them too.

Most people panic here. They think the relationship is broken. They think love is dead. They run.

I did. Multiple times.

But here's the thing about Stage 3 - it's not the end. It's the middle. It's the growing pains. It's the part where real love has a chance to begin.

Stage 4: Climbing Down from the Pedestal

If you're brave enough to stay, if you're willing to do the work, you reach Stage 4. This is where you both climb down from your pedestals and meet in the middle.

You see each other clearly for the first time. Not as perfect beings. Not as disappointments. Just as humans, trying their best.

You learn that love isn't about butterflies or grand gestures. It's about choosing each other, especially when it's hard. It's about seeing someone's flaws and loving them anyway.

Stage 5: Working Together as a Team

This is where real love lives. This is what all those romantic comedies don't show you.

It's not perfect. It's not always exciting. But it's real.

It's working through problems instead of running from them. It's knowing when to fight and when to let go. It's building something together, brick by brick, day by day.

It's understanding that love isn't something that happens to you - it's something you build together.

But here's why most people never make it past Stage 3:

1. We think the end of the honeymoon phase means the end of love

2. We're addicted to the high of Stage 1

3. We don't know how to love real, flawed humans

4. We're scared of doing the work

5. Nobody told us what comes after the fairytale

The truth is, Stages 4 and 5 aren't as glamorous as the first three. They don't make good movies. They don't inspire pop songs.

But they're where real love lives. In the mundane moments. In the hard conversations. In the choice to stay even when it's not perfect.

To anyone stuck in Stage 3: it's okay. It's normal. It's not the end unless you choose it to be.

The most beautiful love stories aren't about perfect people having a perfect romance.

They're about real people choosing each other. Again and again. Through the hard parts. Through the boring parts. Through all of it.

[darkfictionjude]

previous asker here! i just saw that in terms of like... mc being utterly confused that someone other than the ros liking that (meanwhile the ros in the background about to burst a vein in anger because how dare that person, only they can like the mc's weirdness factor to that extent). you know, healthy sane relationships and all that ✨

Another thing mc has in common with Cher from clueless (apart from the non-driving virgin) is that they can be just as oblivious. What’s so great about how I created the love stories is that by being in love with mc the ROs becoming more unstable, sign of devotion with your significant other goes as low as you. This will be seen more in season 2 by the mc but like POVs for season 1 from the ROs could show this too

[eclipsenaturalremedies]

Have to remind myself as well....

You always deserve to have a partner who listens to you. Who you can be open with honestly. That will remind you everything will be fine as long as you keep going. During any storm they'll hold your hand. Doesn't matter if it's 5 am or 3am they will hear you vent, cry, laugh, express yourself without judgment. Who won't argue with you for telling them your fears or needs. Who understands mental health is important.

You deserve to have a love that cherishes you. Who gives you hope for the next day. Trust me their out there somewhere. For now focus on what you want to bring closer, only the positive bright stars are for you.

[lilmissqueerparcel]

okay but have to put this out there!! so the guy i was into before was on the other side of the world with a 4hr time difference so to phone call for even an hour we would have to plan and sync schedules. but here’s the thing, i would stay up until like 4am wrestling sleep and have 8 straight hrs of college the next day while waiting for him to call. and sometimes he would get too busy but put out ZERO communication so i would jst be hanging there. it was so bad upto a point that it drove me to lose feelings bc fuck i atleast deserve the decency of a text. now the guy i am talking to right now girlies let me tell you!! this man texts me and calls me to tell me where he is and what he’s upto. if he is going to have a busy weekend he will let me know!! he has a flight today and man’s is calling me without asking, telling me about the dinner he’s having and calling to tell me he boarded his flight, promising me to text the moment he lands. like hello?? and he is also a university student from my same major but dude the communication? love it. the fact that i mentioned about needing reassurance once and he's come through everytime? man’s sending me pictures of him buying milk. I LOVE IT!!!

[savemefromtoxic]

Narcissists and Toxics will use a variety of methods to control the relationship. Whether it's hiding things on social media - everything from relationship status, multiple secret accounts, to hiding comments, to micromanaging friends and privacy settings, to telling different people different stories, to breadcrumbing, gaslighting, lying, cheating, or other abusive methods that they use to feel "in control", completely dismissing any of your feelings, living in their own version of reality - they will also do the same when you're done, when you walk away, and when you need closure. They'll block you, they'll argue, they'll dismiss, they'll deflect, they'll gaslight, they'll lie to you and to the others, they'll be the victim, they'll be the aggressor, they'll be everything other than what you need to move on - and it will take time, a long time. But, the most import thing to remember, after taking the time to realize, to learn, to heal - you will become more relationship intelligent, more aware of what you need, and what you deserve. ~ Rick dC @SaveMeFromToxic #movingon #closure #narcissist #narcclosure #toxic #breadcrumbing #lying #cheating #socialmedia #deservegood #healthylove #moveon #relationshipclosure #narcclosure #secretaccounts #gaslighting https://www.instagram.com/p/Cod3iLSLSy7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theloulouge]

Reminder Reflections 258

Someone who loves you and respects your mental health will not keep intentionally doing things to hurt or upset you. I hope you know that.

[loveaffection2]

Love should never come with strings attached. Learn to recognize the early warning signs of a controlling partner with these 10 crucial signs. From jealousy to isolation tactics, understanding these signs can help you navigate a healthy relationship dynamic. Protect your autonomy and well-being by being aware of these red flags early on.

[relationshipg2uide]

Navigating Through Selfish One-Sided Relationships: Unmasking Toxic Love

Stuck in selfish one-sided relationships? Escape emotional abuse and recover your well-being. Learn to set boundaries, heal from toxic love, and form healthy, satisfying relationships. Your love story awaits!

[trixyj13]

Black Admiration

I stare at you

Like I’m staring into the blueberry sky. 

Lost in a trance

Not because I’m lost in you

But because I’m wrapped 

In the beauty of you. 

Your melanated skin

Like a perfect cocoa bean

Mesmerized by the coils in your head

And your beard I love to rub on

Starring into your closed eyes 

Wondering what you see in me

That perfect smile

With that cute laugh

I have no choice but to look at you

In awe, as I smile ear to ear.

Seeing you in colors 

That I didn’t know existed. 

Legs intertwined, feet rubbing each other

My head on your chest

And you arms around me

I’m instantly secure, and I don’t worry.

Your soft lips, so gentle when you kiss

My forehead when I sleep and wake.

 

A gravitational pull towards you

Unexplained but makes perfect sense.

I’ve never been here before

But I feel like we’ve already met. 

How do I shake this feeling

Of familiarity and unsolicited comfort?

Tell me what do you feel?

What do you see when you look at me?

Don’t tell me what I want to hear,

But get in tune with Ken and reach deep. 

Am I what you imagined?

Or do you want more from me?

I stare at you

Like I’m starring into the blueberry sky. 

Lost in a trance

Not because I’m lost in you

But because I’m wrapped

In the beauty of you. 

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

There's a big difference between people who can love you right and others who don't.

[sticliniclondon]

Check out these tips to maintain a healthy relationship even if you have an STD!

[poemore3]

Expressing Love Daily in Maintaining Healthy Relationships

A little love goes a long way! Learn how expressing love daily can help maintain healthy relationships.

[tita1988]

My heart aches. I once loved you, even more then myself. Gave you parts of me, we both know we're forbidden. You thought me through heartache that loving you besides imposible is self destructive. My soul, heart and mind left a while ago. And currently my body just can't stay no more. You say you love me but my responce is, love doesn't do so much hurting.

As a whole mind, body and soul I crave a real love. One that cares who does more happiness and sadness. There's just no room for us or the distruction that we cause.

[lovessnow]

Everyone does! #love #healthylove #neveraquestion

You deserve a healthy love with someone who hears you, sees you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, and loves you. Someone who is patient, communicates clearly, and creates a calm safe space to heal, grow, and bloom together. A love you don't have to heal from.