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#healthy for me unhealthy for them lol
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theres this guy in coop who keeps playing the game like an mmo like they constantly want to coop for everything, get mad when people cant/dont feel like it and is constantly looking for excuses to group content. i get theyre lonely but fucking hell im trying to do quests here
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camellia-thea · 2 months
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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tardis--dreams · 5 months
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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ef-1 · 1 year
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I'M BROKEN, BUT I'M TRYING | MAY'23
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gayestcowboy · 1 year
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hey this may be a weird question so feel free to never answer but how did you go about gaining weight? you're so happy with it and i think it may be for me too but i wouldn't know the first step towards that happiness so,,
i’m gonna be so honest it just happened naturally when i went on testosterone. i didn’t drastically change my diet or exercise, if anything i ended up getting more exercise from walking all over my campus (i started t before i started college), and i definitely need to eat more than i used to, but nothing drastic. it’s just how my body reacted to having more testosterone. i didn’t expect it at all going into it, although i’m very glad it happened, but some people lose weight on hrt and some people dont have a weight change ag all, it just depends on the person. since i did literally nothing to gain weight other than hrt, and obviously i have no idea whether hrt is something you even remotely want to do, and hrt isn’t even a guarantee your weight will change at all, i cant do much other than share my own experience 😭 but i wish you luck in whatever you end up doing, and i hope you enjoy your body!
and this might be a weird answer, but if you feel comfortable, you could always try poking around in a weight gain fetish community somewhere online. it’s not really something i’m into so i can’t say whether or not anything will come from it, but i know it exists and it’s a group of people who know how to gain weight, and i’m sure some of them post about how they do it. i won’t give out any more medical advice on tumblr, and i hesitate to ask if anyone else has any advice, but i’m sure the very best thing you could do is talk to a medical professional about it, and just make sure to take good care of your body no matter how much you weigh. weight and health will never measure your worth as a person, but you should always try and take care of your body as best you can. and eat your veggies 👍
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backtodecembertv · 6 months
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i hate when i act like a bitchy little attention whore and it turns out not to be justified
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stuckfixated · 10 months
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I actually saw someone on YouTube say “Today my husband told me he didn’t need me, and HE IS SO RIGHT. Nobody ever needs anyone!! #Boundaries! 💪” and like…omg what the fuck. Everything’s “toxic” “codependent” “unhealthy” “crossing boundaries” and a “red flag” these days. Everything. What the fuck is left in romance these days that therapyspeak-obsessed individuals haven’t deemed unhealthy?? Like omgg it is NOT unhealthy to consider your spouse someone you need in your life. Jesus. And like, I’m not a huge romantic either, but damn, let couples be as passionate as they want to be. What happened to the era of writing lengthy love letters?? Now it’s all “let’s go to couples therapy to heal our inner children together UwU we’ll set boundaries that we’re not allowed to hug each other more than 10 times in a year, OR ELSE THAT’S CODEPENDENCE!!!1!1 And we should only kiss 20 times in a year. BOUNDARIES!!!” like damn y’all therapyspeak people really sucked the fun out of romance lol. Really sucked the joy and whimsy and passion and mystery and magic and intrigue out of it. I’d post a snippet of the famous Lemony Snickett “I’ll love you even if you marry someone else and spend the rest of your days wishing you had married me instead” poem, but those “BOUNDARIES!!!1!1” people would just call him an obsessed stalker or something. Lmfao. As if poetry is supposed to be anything short of obsession, desire, and passion. 🤦🏻‍♀️
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2boldlyqueer · 1 year
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got a really intense urge to check on my ex tonight, thought i was just being mean to myself but he posted some really sad shit on reddit :/
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halucynator · 1 year
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YOU COULD'VE DIED!
So I had this request and I totally forgot about it and I'm so so so so so so so sorry lol
Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader
Warnings: mentions of weight, anxiety attacks, eating disorder, reader has adhd, not proof read and my writing lol
Request: So the reader a long time ago like when she was eighth/9ish used to be on the bigger side before her adhd meds and then got really skinny and stuff and timeskip to sixth year her meds don’t really work aswelll so she starts getting an appetite that was usually suppressed and she quit quidditch last year because of stress and her biggest fear is secretly getting fat again and she starts to have so much anxiety about it
WARNING: I am in no way shaming any one in this text. You are beautiful the way you are. I'm just adhering to the request. I do not agree with anything horrible about weight or anything else you can think of that is in this text.
I'm also really really sorry if you go through eating disorders or something similar to what's mentioned in this text x stay strong xx you're not alone 💕
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Most people have nightmares about psycho killers in white masks with a knife who are really crazily into fictional movies they try to make it reality. Most people have nightmares about falling from really high cliffs with jagged edges that could rip you in half quicker than the speed of the platform 9¾'s train. Most people have nightmares about burning in fires that could kill you probably faster than the Dursleys burnt Harry's hogwarts letters.
But not you. You had nightmares about gaining weight. About being the girl that you were when you were nine. You hated your ADHD but oh those adhd meds really helped you to stop being the obese person you were. You were disgusted by your younger self even though you shouldn't have been.
You sat in the Great Hall processing your nightmare. You knew you had a normal weight, probably even lower than healthy. And yet you looked around at all those pretty girls with effortless hourglass bodies and wished you could look like them. You knew you had a normal weight and yet your dreams, or perhaps nightmares, kept on taunting you about it.
Those thoughts clouded your mind. Filled your head. Over and over. And over. Until you felt like starving yourself. And you'd do that until you fainted and realised it's really unhealthy. But then it'd be too late and this vicious cycle continued until you felt like you couldn't do it anymore. Until you were sick of being yourself. Until you wished you were anyone but yourself. Until y-
"Hey y/n!" Theo greeted you as he entered the Great Hall. He was the first one there. After you of course. He grabbed a vanilla cupcake with strawberry icing and sprinkles for himself and a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing for you.
"here I got you a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing. Your favourite." Theo smiled as he passed it on to you.
Even though your heart wanted to accept it, your brain knew better.
"no I'm fine, really! Thanks so much though! I'm full" you replied. as if to reprimand you, your stomach rumbled.
"your stomach disagrees" he chuckled. "go on have it it's fine it's just a cupcake"
You knew he was trying to be a good friend. You knew he was looking out for you at yet it was so hard for you to suppress the urge to scream "just a cupcake? JUST A CUPCAKE?! well, I'll have you know that cupcake contains sugar and butter which stores in your body as fat so you wouldn't even suggest it unless you hated me" you obviously didn't say it out loud. You knew you were overreacting in your head.
"erm no thanks." You politely turned the offer of the cupcake down.
"Ya sure?" He asked one last time.
"yup." You replied.
"alright suit yourself" Blaise said as he leaned across the table to get the cupcake from your side.
You didn't have dinner that night and the couple of nights after either. You knew you should've. But you were so insecure about your weight you just couldn't. So you didn't. And you should've. You really should've.
Unfortunately for you, you realised that too late.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。*:☆
You woke up on a white bed. Where were you? You glanced around. There was no way. You were in a hospital bed. After Theo explained it to you, you realised what had happened. On your way to the dorm you had fainted due to the lack of food. You had no energy left in your body and it finally gave out. Theo had realised you had fainted and had carried you to the Madam Pomfrey's. He looked strangely cross at you.
"T-thanks" you replied to him.
"for what?" He said. "I couldn't save you."
"you kinda did" you said smiling at him.
He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to you. It was a cookie.
Before you could say no, he cut you off.
"you are eating this cookie right now or I will never forgive myself for letting you starve yourself."
You reluctantly grabbed the cookie.
"you didn't make me starve myself. I did it to myself. It's not your fault." You replied as you broke a piece off the cookie.
"but why?" He asked.
"sorry?"
"why did you starve yourself"
"erm i well i had a nightmare I was gaining weight and I thought I was I had gained half a kilogram since last year and I just thought I'd look ugly and I just didn't want to not be liked by anyone!" there it was. The word vomit. The bundle of feelings inside of you all out to the one person you thought would be disgusted by you if you ever gained weight. The one person you loved.
"Woah! Slow down. No matter how many kilograms you put in you'll never be fat or ugly! I can't believe you let a nightmare lead you on! You can't have an unhealthy relationship with food!" He exclaimed.
"you're just saying that."
"I'm not just saying that. I mean it y/n. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you and a couple kilograms isn't gonna change that." He replied.
"Aw- wait you what?!" You asked realising what he just said.
"I thought it was obvious? I love you y/n. I always have" Theo said. "but I'm still cross at you for not eating food."
"ok ok I'm sorry." You replied.
"YOU COULD'VE DIED!" Pansy exclaimed bursting into the room.
"Jesus Christ Pansy! You almost gave me a heart attack!" You said shocked at her entrance.
But you knew her words were right. And so were Theo's. From that moment you tried to prevent yourself from starving yourself and with the support of Theo and all your friends it was that much more easy.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。*:☆
A/n: the ending kinda sucks lol sorry for the lateness of this x hope you liked it!!
Taglist: @m3ntallyunstable34 lmk if you want to be added to my taglist (through asks or you can message me x I'll always respond ❤️)
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blackbackedjackal · 6 months
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You know I've been feeling a little anxious bc Captain's werewolf form and June's shadowy version of her werewolf form look a lot a like and I always hope no one accuses either of us of design theft like it happened to me with one of my old characters, though I made his werewolf form in like 2020. June is cool as hell (if not cooler) I wouldn't want someone to be a jerk about it. Maybe I should draw them together shaking hands as a preventive measure lol
Heya! I hope this is ok to post but please don't worry about it! June's design is based off of other (mostly animated) werewolf designs I liked, but was given meaning through her story and the reason as to /why/ her form looks a certain way.
It's not that she's just shadowy, it's an intentional visual representation of black trauma. There's are cultural and social stigmas of Black people being systematically denied access to mental health resources or being told that they're just "lazy" or "crazy" or "faking it". June's form is altered by her mental/emotional state, it's what she /believes/ she is due to her past trauma and her story is, in part, learning deal with her trauma in a healthy way.
June's form is also based on the lesser known theories that The Beast of Gévaudan (which June is related to via her lycan lineage) was either a product of mass hysteria from the high number of wolf attacks in the region or was potentially a serial killer. The way the beast is often described (black fur, red lips, white/yellowed eyes and teeth) is similar to racist depictions of Black people in the past. I used this as a basis for designing her form. It's the intention and her story that's important, followed by visuals that are found within the werewolf genre and outside of it.
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I'm a little too tired to go more in-depth but I'll leave this quote from the Jim Crow museum:
The mission of the Jim Crow Museum is straightforward: use items of intolerance to teach tolerance. We examine the historical patterns of race relations and the origins and consequences of racist depictions. The aim is to engage visitors in open and honest dialogues about this country's racial history...The Jim Crow Museum is founded on the belief that open, honest, even painful discussions about race are necessary to avoid yesterday's mistakes.
June's story is about racism. It's about intolerance towards black queer folk. It's about how Black people (especially black women) have to suffer under a system that denies them mental health resources, resulting in many Black people turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Her design was me intentionally marrying old werewolf motifs with a different perspective on the werewolf genre (since even today is it still mostly a white space). There's a stark difference to me when someone comes up with a similar design independently vs when someone is actively lifting direct inspiration from my work and twisting the meaning in the process.
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plutonianeris · 8 months
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❝mars in the 6th house❞
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This is how mars in the 6th house has manifested for me.
With my 6th house mars placement I tend to make my daily activities into games or challenges. In my head I’m always like okay let’s see how long it takes me to do xyz. It makes me feel accomplished to get stuff down.
The downside to all of that is the stress I put on my body. Sometimes I don’t know when to stop and I keep pushing through until I feel burned out. Over the years I have gotten better and reminding myself to slow down and be more mindful throughout out the day.
I have always had very high paced busy jobs. The couple times where I had a more low stakes, relaxed job I would start off thinking I was going to enjoy it and then I would hate it. It would just make the day drag on so long. I like feeling challenged and when I am busy the day goes by faster. When I was around 15 I got my first job at a restaurant and it would get extremely busy and chaotic as fuck and honestly I loved it. The dining room would get so full, people were chattering all the time and we would all be in the back running around like chickens with their heads cut off, bumping into each other. Some of my coworkers would get frustrated which is fair but honestly it felt like a game to me. I worked there until I was 19. I have a higher paying, more “professional” job now but to this day that was the most fun job I’ve had.
I have worked at many different places, but the posts that state mars in the 6th house will give you coworkers being jealous and trying to start shit are 100% right. In every job I have had there were coworkers that saw me as threat or would try to start shit with me. I once worked at a hospital when I was in college and the girls working with me (Who were 2-3 years actually older than me) were so hateful and weird. They would constantly be looking at me, gossiping (or straight up trying to argue) and one time one of them lied to the supervisor saying I was slacking off when I wasn’t (literally trying to sabotage my job).
A male coworker there at the time told me they were just hating. I do believe that they were because they were being weird and messy but I also think he was trying to flirt with me..
The rumors are true about your coworkers crushing on you with this placement. And vice versa for me as well at times. It has gone from flirting with coworkers to me actually sleeping with a coworker once. However those times it was never anything serious, more like in the moment things. 6th house placements really know what it means to have a work husband/ wife lol.
another thing about jobs, when people try to start shit it use to get me riled up and I would let people get under my skin (when I was younger). NOW, I laugh and even though it still makes me annoyed, it makes me feel even more motivated to be the best at what I am doing.
I am also quick to leave a job once it has run its course. I am not that emotional when it comes to leaving and starting over somewhere else.
I lose weight very fast. I don’t mean in the sense that I have high metabolism. I mean that if gain weight and I decide I want to lose it, I do simple workouts and in a relatively short time its gone. Its not an unhealthy or harmful way. It makes sense considering mars is action and speed and the 6th house is daily routines and my body and health. Honestly if you have this placement and you are stressing over meal plans or planning specific workouts, just do simple ones and walk more and it wont be as hard as you thought.
I do have a high libido, especially when I am in a relationship. Having a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important to me.
I don’t get sick very often and when I do, I fight it off in 1-3 days.
I can be very impulsive in my daily and routines, sometimes harshly. Like I might brush my hair very roughly without realizing or apply lotion onto my skin in a heedless manner. That is something that I did not like and I try to remind myself to treat my body with gentle hands.
My impulsive behavior was worse when I was kid. For example, if I could not get a necklace off of me or bracelet, it would make me so angry and kind of panicked, I would rip it off even if it meant it might break I didn’t care. Me doing what I wanted and feeling free mattered more than whatever I was wearing. This was however another thing I tried to improve on.
Growing up, in my daily routines people use to be mad aggressive towards me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I was annoying or pushing someones buttons, but the random spurts of anger at me would be very unwarranted.
I feel like at times I can be very guarded as well or tense. When I am angry, I feel it first in my chest and then my stomach will hurt. I don’t like getting worked up because although I can emotionally regulate, it still takes my body a while to calm down. When I was a teenager it would take a long ass time of me practically seething or cursing. Now after a couple deep breaths I’m good.
Mars is aggressive and the 6th house is my health and body and I have definitely taken my anger out on myself as well. My home life had always been very chaotic as a kid and I started self harming at 12 years old and then I stopped when I was around 17 years old.
On a more positive note, I love taking care of my body now. I would never treat it like my enemy or be so careless with myself like I use to. I like working out. I like feeling strong. And also theres a bonus of feeling hot as fuck when I am naked. When Megan thee stallion said, “ When I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on,” I really felt that 💋🔥
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anisespice · 17 days
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heyy
can i request hanma w reader who has abandonment issues? if you don’t write for that kind of topic it’s fine!!(:
take care!!<33
of course! thank u for the request anon, sorry for the delay <3 had to do some more research into the topic, and brush up on my hanma lol hope you enjoy :)) !!
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pairing: hanma x gn!reader
warnings: mature language, MDI, crude jokes, violence, cringy/cornball behavior lol and hanma gets his own warning, not proof read, sorry for any errors!! and i think that’s it :)
notes: SO SORRY FOR TAKING LITERALLY A WHOLE YEAR TO MAKE THIS ANON, i wanted to do a little bit of research on the topic (ended up learning a little about myself LMAO) but it’s finally done! i’m happy with how it turned out, and i figured this format would work perfectly, so i hope you enjoy!! <333
tagged: @fantasycantasy , @illegalspacecow, @captaincyberqueen
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I struggled with the idea of how Hanma would be like with someone with abandonment issues/anxious attachment. At first, I figured he’d be the absolute worst in terms of handling someone with such an intense need for validation and reassurance, but after some further contemplation I realized how he’d be the absolute best—To the most unhealthily healthy degree, if that makes sense. Let me explain:
“yo, who’s blowing up your phone?”
“jeez, your s/o again? talk about excessive”
“couldn’t be me, bro. if i was you, i’d set a boundary-”
hanma wouldn’t miss a beat by giving them a dangerous grin and say, “i’ll a set a boundary for your fucking teeth if you say another word about my s/o.”
then, in the same beat, he’ll answer your call with a whole different energy, like, “hey doll, my love, my sweet, my sexy” something corny like that
you’d express that he said he’d be back around 9, and it was pushing 9:30…
he’d chuckle fondly, “aw, you miss me that bad? you’re obsessed, doll, it’s adorable.~”
the guys with him would watch in shock as the usually violent, and quick to annoyance, shuji hanma was…understanding? patient??
i hc hanma to be so so so patient with you whenever you get that intense clingy feeling, or talk yourself into thinking he’s sick of you and your neediness
like
homie WANTS you to want him
even to an unhealthy attached degree, sign him up, yes ma’am, yes ham, yes turkey
if you do get into those moods of feeling like he’ll leave you, TRUST that he’s gonna feed into it just a little bit (he’s a bit of a sadistic bastard) only to shower you with every possible reassurance until you are drowning in him him HIM
“why you cryin’, hm? i said i’ll be back, what, you think i’ll just up and leave? never come back?”
“hm, maybe i should do that, make you miss me a little more, yeah?”
but, once he sees you’re really torn up about the thought, he’d gather you in his arms with a small, teasing grin, kissing your tears away and telling you how silly you’re being
“baby, i’d rather get shot in both of my legs than ever think of leaving you”
“you couldn’t get rid of me even if you begged”
“no more cryin’, kay? i hate seeing you cry…unless it’s for different reasons” he’d suggest, earning a weak hit to his arm for being a pervert
he’d snigger, holding you up until your legs wrapped around his waist, “how bout you just come with me then, hm?”
he’s not perfect, far from it, but he tries
he’ll tease, and poke, and push but he always has his moments where he takes your situation deathly serious
like
let someone talk shit about you in anyway, whether it’s about how you need to touch him a lot, or constantly text/call just to hear his voice, or accuse him of this that and the third, just let someone TRY it and he finds out about it
“man, i don’t know how he puts up with them”
“yeah, his s/o clearly has some issues..”
“god forbid he’s gone for more than ten minutes, it’s like they’re some kind of parasite-“
the air in the room shifts DRASTICALLY when they eventually notice hanma standing there, with you at his side looking more than upset
how long he’d been there didn’t matter…the damage was done as soon as those idiots spoke your name
if looks could kill, they’d be playing uno w the devil right about now and losing
hanma looked rather calm. but his eyes told a different story as the gold shined bright with malicious intent
he slowly grinned, tilting his head “oh? don’t stop on our account. keep talkin’. i wanna know what else you think.”
none dared to even blink
you sniffled, embarrassed, ready to bolt out of there, but hanma’s grip on your hand doesn’t falter, merely pulling you closer as he rested his chin on your head
you wiggled for a moment, but hanma wasn’t letting you go anywhere
he called out your name, making you stop as he turned you in his hold to have you look him in the eye
“stay right here. i want you to see just how much i love you. my little parasite.~”
hanma had you stand there and witness what happens whenever someone dares to speak on you and your relationship, solidifying his devotion and loyalty to you and you only
as those guys laid in a pool of their own blood, hanma still took the time to shower you in love and his undivided attention
he’d wipe your tears with bloodstained hands and kiss you hard on the mouth
“you’ll never be too much for me, [_____].”
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© 2023-2024 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!
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aviradasa · 1 month
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Hi hi again ! I just wanna say I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the chubby reader x Larry n' Sal hdcns you wrote !! It's very nice and comforting, and really made my night - I can't stop re-reading them :') . THANK YOUUU 👹🖤‼️
Anyway, I was wondering if you could do something similar to the chubby reader hdcns, but with an ADHD!reader ? Just some Larry n' Sal with an adhd having gf hdcns ! Pls & ty, ilyyy <3
(also, if you're not comfortable with writing these, or don't know abt the symptoms of adhd [with depression & anxiety symptoms, bc it's a big struggle for me personally lol], no pressure abt writing these hdcns !! Remember to eat and stay hydrated <333 !!!)
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Heyyy I actually loved writing this as I've struggled for years with depression as well and me and my family have been unsure if it's Adhd or autism since I was a kid lmao So here is
Larry,sal x Adhd!Girlfriend!Reader (separate)
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Sal:
Sal is really good with you
He's a really calming person to be around, so if you're really struggling that day, he's got you
If you're too hyperfocused and forget to take care of yourself, he will find a way to pull you away without bothering you. Even if it's just for a bit so you can eat or something
But if you have trouble focusing? Well, sals next to you and talking you through whatever you're trying to to.
He will even help you.
One day, you started frantically cleaning your room. Pulling stuff from the drawers pulling the stuff out from under your bed. Unloading your desk.
But then once you saw the amount of stuff, you kinda froze up. not sure where to even start.
You were honestly so overwhelmed you almost had a breakdown, but then sal walked into your guys' room, looking confused as shit asking you what's going on.
He waited patiently as you explained, and then he sat on the ground with you and started helping you organize everything,talking you through the process the entire time to keep you from getting more overwhelmed.
He's a damn angel
And once you guys got done and the room was back in order, you guys put on a movie and just passed out
If it's a day where you can't seem to sit still. He won't try to stop you.
Naw, he's saying ok come on, let's go to the apartments and run around checking on the ghost.
He doesn't try to hold you in place or stop you he tries to encourage you to do what you need to in a healthy way.
Also, if losing or misplacing things is a struggle for you, that's fine, don't worry.
Cause either he knows where it is or he's looking for it with you. And sometimes, when he sees something in an odd place, he will just grab it and put it where it should be.
And then when you need it, you don't have to go on a scavenger hunt.
On days where you can't seem to drag yourself outta bed or you're just not doing good with racing thoughts
He's with you. If you both have class that day, he will coax you out of bed,
and while you guys are driving there you guys will talk about it, and if you can't put it into words, he will just tell you stuff to get your mind off it
If you don't have class, he will lay with you, and you guys will just put on a show and chat, which makes you feel a bit better
He's like your other half at this point, and it's nice to have some calm when things get crazy
Overall, you both have a pretty good system, and if he's having issues, you help him out too, so it's a pretty win-win you
guys are great together
Larry:
Well, now Larry, I think, has a bit of it to but a little different. He's more on the hyper focus end.
He will get to painting or playing a game, and he's not moving from that spot until it's done, and if you are also hyper focused at the same time it can start off good but then can get a bit unhealthy
It's whoever comes out of it first that will snap the other out of it
But if you're having trouble focusing, he will do his best to help, but let's be honest, you both will probably end up distracted
One day, you were trying to work on a project for one of your classes and you were stuck because you had so much to do and didn't know where to start.
So you tried to put on some music. We'll that didn't work too well because now you're sitting there watching MTV music videos.
By the time Larry got back, you were spaced out at the screen with your project forgotten sitting next to you.
He asked you what it was, and when you told him, he asked if it was done and you ended up explaining that you got stuck.
Well, he sits down with you and takes a look at it and also kinda blanks. Then you guys started talking, and the conversation ventured off, and yall ended up rushing it the night before.
At least he tried lmao.
Now, if it's a hyper day for you guys and you're running around trying to do a bunch of stuff, he will probably roll a joint and give it to you like.
Smoke this.
After you do, it can have one of two reactions
1 you actually slow down and are able to chill for a bit, or 2 it just makes you wanna go on an adventure.
If it's the second you guys end up in a gas station getting snacks and then heading over to sals to bother him and his girl it's cool they don't mind lol.
Now, when it comes to misplaced objects it really fucks with larry. Like I said in my general Larry HCs, he's messy but in an organized way.
So if he's digging around trying to find a certain paintbrush and he ends up finding it in the living room instead of in his art area he it really fucks with him.
But he's not mad he's just more confused and like what the fuck I didn't put that there.
And if he asks you and you don't remember, then you guys jokingly blame the ghosts. You both know it probably wasn't them but it's a Lil inside joke.
Now, for days, you can't get up, he stays with you. He's either in the same boat or he just feels bad and understands. Sometimes, he will lay with you, and you both might smoke and talk to each other. Or he will put on a show or music and paint while you do you.
It's just nice to know he's there and that he cares.
Overall, you guys got a lot going on, but you guys manage it as well as you can and what's important is that you do it together 🖤
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stuckinapril · 9 months
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don’t know if you’ve already shared (or if you wouldn’t like to) but i’d love to hear about your resolutions and goals for this year!
Hi so sorry for how late this is!! I have quite a few!
Ins —
Being more decisive. Trusting myself w calling the shots. Just making a decision and sticking w it.
Financial literacy
More reading. Just more.
Attacking things I’m uncomfortable with instead of shying away from them.
More silence. I don’t need to have my earphones in all the time
More time w family!!! I need to put in as much effort to connect w them as I do w my friends
Green tea every night
More pictures. I have a serious problem of just not being incentivized to take any
More scientific literature for fun!!
Piggybacking off that point—making it instinctive to apply things I study to real life situations. This is a niche one but it just helps me process stuff faster and I just think it’s a super dope learning technique
Pushing myself harder. It’s just not my preference to be mediocre.
Nourishing myself w my own affirmations. Cutting out my need for other people’s validation
Educational documentaries
Making more of an effort to connect w my Arab heritage
Being my natural self. It’s okay if I’m not bubbly all the time. Sometimes I just want to chill
Whole foods
Less phone time (I say this every year but like I want 2024 to be the year I’m truly disconnected/using my phone in a healthy way)
Body oils!
More tennis dates w friends!
10k steps a day
Sticking religiously to my hour by hour schedule
Keeping promises to myself as ardently as I keep promises to others
Being more bold w fashion!!
Hitting the gym 5 days a week
Reading more literature in Arabic and French
Learning how to cook. I cannot live off Siggi’s for the rest of my life lol
Exploring more music genres
Learning the piano!!
No longer feeling guilty for withholding information. Privacy is not a bad thing.
Getting more and more independent!!
Becoming the friend I want to be. Other people need to show up as well, but I can’t hold people up to standards I myself can’t reach.
Outs —
Centralizing luxury brands. Thinking that price equates to quality. The fact of the matter is quality equates to quality. Price is irrelevant.
Relying on snap judgment responses to situations. I need to learn to wait at least 15 minutes. I can be impulsive asf
Jumpiness. Nervous energy. I just want to be more calm and controlled in how I carry myself. I want to exude self-assuredness
Checking my phone first thing in the morning!!
Drinking less than 3 liters of water a day
Being available all the fucking time. If someone has an issue w me for being busy, maybe they’re not someone I want in my life in the first place.
Being too forgiving. Not immediately allowing someone back into my life doesn’t make me a bitch. Immediately running to fix things w someone doesn’t make me selfless. Being the bigger person in situations where I was nowhere near in the wrong doesn’t make me mature. It’s just symptomatic of a lack of boundaries.
Consuming dumb shit in the name of “keeping up w pop culture.” I don’t care about celebrity controversy #7282727. I don’t care about celebrity selfie #827226. It doesn’t elevate my life in any way. I legit just don’t care. And this goes for real life gossip w friends too
Taking too long to text back!! A day is fine, but sometimes I take longer and I think that’s a shitty trait to have. I can absolutely afford to respond to people faster.
Too much chocolate!! I’m a sweet tooth but I must preserve my skin/overall health
Motivation over discipline. I need to be attuned to discipline always.
Control freak antics. I can’t control people. It’s not my responsibility. They’ll act how they act. All I can do is control my reaction to it
Rumination/unhealthy venting. When I’m done w something, I’m done w something.
Overcompensating for other people’s shortcomings. It’s not my responsibility to coddle others. It’s okay if something is too much for me.
Having no boundaries w others. People aren’t entitled to private information. It doesn’t make me deceptive to withhold things—it just makes me selective. People need to earn private details about me.
Curating things I like. I simply like what I like. It’s not that deep.
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nico-esoterica · 13 days
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More about celeb sps!
"But what about the millions of other people manifesting them?" 🤔⭐
There's the perspective that they've successfully manifested them in their personal realities, but I'm an elitist. In every other reality, I believe I am the only person my man would ever want to be with, consider, or fathom as a partner. I am the best of the best. I am the only person to ever exist in his world he'd want to be with intimately. I don't care who he's been with. I'm the best lover, best romantic partner, most attractive person to exist in their world. I am always infinitely better. I am what dreams are made of. Billions of the most attractive and good men in the world would kill irl to be with me or even be in the same room with me. Women and other identities too!~
This is how you need to think. If you think anyone's manifesting them? No, they're not lol. Because they'd never do it successfully or have the confidence and conviction to maintain it. They're also not you. And they're weak bitches! I said what I said. I've never thought small in my entire life and I have unwavering confidence, self discipline, and belief in myself. I am self-obsessed and radiate power, magnetism, and sex appeal. I'm also the most beautiful person I've ever personally come across, alive or dead. In a room full of the most conventionally beautiful people, my sp would only have eyes for me. Even in an industry full of surgical beauties! Idgaf! Even if I wasn't gorgeous, my sp would still think I was! Now, let's discuss stalkers and other criminals and what makes you different:
You're always winning in your reality, even if that winning is you losing, lol. You're winning in the assumption that you can't have what you want or who you want. That's winning but just not in your favor.
Even if millions of people are casting love spells or manifesting your person, they will always fail because you've rendered them ineffective in your reality. Also, AGAIN, you are YOU! Someone can only 'take' your sp if you THINK it's possible that they can be taken! That's why you need to STAND THE FUCK UP! Would you wanna be with you? I would wanna be with me! My sp is LUCKY that I even give a fuck the way I do lmao! I also personally believe whoever you're manifesting is manifesting YOU back! That's how manifesting people works objectively if you look at stories of couples who've described how it feels on both ends.
I don't consider stalking to be something celebs want but may be what they expect due to their job and not thinking they're in control of their realities, etc. I also put obsessive fans in that category because their emotional investment makes them money lol. But as a celeb who wants to be genuinely loved as a human being, I do believe they're manifesting the right person for them and that spectrum of possibility will involve someone that's potentially a fan or was one due to the magnitude of their fame. But this person would truly love and appreciate them. That's the difference. When Hailey Bieber and Victoria Beckham were manifesting their men as fans, they wound up in healthy and happy relationships with them. Thriving, tbh.
But the typical 'fan' is usually someone with piss poor self esteem, puts their fave on a pedestal, and may think they have to force themselves on their fave to 'get them to like them' when that's just abuse and assault. That's due to poor self concept and probably due to having an unhealthy relationship with them bc of social alienation from Capitalism, untreated/misdiagnosed neurodivergence because of lack of money and access to quality healthcare, and a combination of factors where their fave is the only 'good' experience in their lives. You're always telling yourself a story. With your sp, celeb or not, it's the same thing.
These people don't believe that they can successfully 'be' with their fave without breaking the law or bypassing personal boundaries and that lack of self belief is because of bad self concept and personal self esteem. They don't think they would ever choose them without them needing to force it to happen. When you're manifesting like Hailey, Victoria, etc, you're putting yourself on the pedestal instead. You're believing that there's no way in hell that celeb sp WON'T want you for just existing. I don't know those women personally but it takes audacity and that audaciousness is a result of a strong self concept about themselves and what they're capable of. But it doesn't have to be all that.
You don't even have to like yourself to manifest a celeb sp, but most people don't tell themselves that they can just exist and the sp will find them and fall in love with them.
That's the difference between a stalker, saesang, and toxic person vs another person manifesting them. You'd think there's overlap but there's a distinct difference in mindset. You don't need to be in creepy group chats full of criminals exchanging stolen personal info or do any weird shit but people do most likely because that's the only way they think they'll get access to their sp. They're still insecure, lol.
That's why people commit crimes anyway and is the way our system is set up. They're still manifesting that fraudulent access but they rarely, if ever, land the full blown relationship where their sp wants them back. Their sp not wanting them back despite all the weird shit (bc people irl DO have relationships w/ toxic people) is proof that they DON'T think or believe this person wants them. Otherwise they'd think it was cute or something because they'd see them as the one and only exception. That rarely happens with celebs, even though I'm sure it does, but that not being the norm means those people manifesting celeb sps simply don't think they can do it deep down.
That's why you're one out of millions or a billion, honestly. Even if someone seems very confident, unless they have consistent commitment to their inner story like con artist Anna Delvey, for example, then they won't be successful.
Because that's all it takes with anything, sp or not. It's the story you're telling yourself. It doesn't have to feel real. You just need to not change it.
Like I said, the other girls are weak bitches. It just is what it is.
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bogleech · 1 year
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lol remembering when tumblr chuds got mad at me for saying junk food is nutritious because they didn’t understand that “nutritious” simply means “rich in nutrients” and that the problem with certain foods is simply that those useful nutrients are harmful in excess. That, and having any visible fat was their sole personal measure of healthy vs. unhealthy so they based their personalities and morals around their keto diets, which would have been raising their bad cholesterol all along and I wonder how many of them learned the hard way to just eat normal. The ones who haven’t already died of heart failure, I mean.
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