#healthcare workers being ableist

[feminist-space]

[renthony]

I check the news. I see warnings about covid spreading, accompanied by health organizations begging people to start masking again if they stopped.

I sign petitions and send letters demanding the government to reinstate free vaccines and universal healthcare masking. I receive a vague, form letter response for one out of every ten or so. I keep an eye on the news, hoping it's helping make a difference. It's hard to feel like it is.

I check my social media feeds. I see friends at concerts, fairs, conventions, bars, and parties with no masks. I see friends posting about their third, fourth, fifth covid infection. They do not stop going to bars.

It has been nearly four years since I received an invitation to a virtual social event. I think perhaps I could host my own, but decide it's not worth it, because who would come? How many "don't you want to come out with us?" responses would I receive? Is it worth the reminders that I'm seen as unreasonable and paranoid and overly-severe? Is it worth being reminded yet again that I'm the wet blanket who sucks the fun out of everything for everyone with my caution?

My labor union only keeps hosting virtual meetings because my household insists on it. I lost my temper over it. I raised my voice, I called people ableist, I screamed at them that they were enabling eugenics. My union keeps hosting virtual meetings, but I am left feeling like my rage is the only thing protecting my family, even as it costs me friendships and leaves me feeling isolated from outside peers. I feel shame for the way I railed against my fellow workers, but are they really my fellows if they're so willing to let me and my family die?

I wonder if any of my pre-covid friends miss me at all. I wonder if they only ever spent time with me because it was convenient. I wonder if they ever actually liked me, or if I was simply tolerated.

I turn off my computer and look around at the crumbling walls of my slum apartment.

I wonder if I'll ever get out of here and participate in the outside world again.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’ve been struggling lately with the feeling that my job is pointless. Intellectually I know it is not—nursing is one of those professions where you get to be real smug about knowing the value of your work. But it’s still felt very pointless. Like I’ll start a shift thinking, “what am I even doing here,” and end it thinking, “what have I actually even done.” It’s been a ROUGH couple months.

But I had a really good shift last time I worked, which was good for the soul and also a very useful data point. I got to do pain management advocacy and symptom management, met a bunch of cool patients, did education for new nurses, and had several long heart to hearts, which the kind of midnight heart to hearts that I think are the most important part of night shift, all of that while being well staffed with very pleasant and appreciative patients and coworkers, and I was still like. Pretty depressed. I had a sense of satisfaction and moments of joy and meaning, but it turns out that one good shift did not cure the depression that has been latched on to me for the last few months like some kind of fucked up mental health leech. As I realized I was still depressed and that it was still interfering with my life even when everything was going well, the sense of peace washed over me was the best I’d felt in a while. Because I was like, okay! None of my usual stuff as worked! I have no excuse not to try something new to get my brain out of the shit ditch it’s slipped into.

So I’m applying for short-term disability. I’m worried I won’t get it, and I’m not sure what the next step is if I get rejected, but I feel so much better having decided to pursue it. It’s so much fuckin paperwork for sure, to a degree that’s overwhelming except that that the form could be a checkbox that says, “you want money?” and I’d be like “THIS IS TOO MUCH.” I’m totally not writing this post instead of finishing an email to my manager. I’m definitely not writing this post to avoid dealing with coordinating all my various care providers. I’m certainly not at every moment worried that I’m secretly faking all this so I can get three to nine weeks of a cool summer vacation.

I was thinking about how I almost flunked nursing school in my final semester because I turned in assignments late for a class with a “no late homework” policy. The professor said that this was reflective of real life, where if you miss deadlines you’re just fucked. I ended up appealing my grade and passing, because frankly it was a weak reason for making me repeat a final semester when there was no issues with my actual work or knowledge. During my appeal, I was like “I also think this policy is ableist. Harsh penalties for late work hurt students with health problems, especially chronic health problems when you aren’t asking for one week off due to the flu but instead for a general and never ending flexibility. I’m not trying to make an excuse but explain why this policy is a bad one. Disabled healthcare workers are an asset to healthcare.” I’m trying to remember my own argument as I pursue help. My depression and ADHD and eating disorder do help me be a better nurse, not because like depression gives you superpowers, but because I manage my chronic illnesses every day, in ways that range from hardly noticeable to life or death. Being kind to patients means being kind to myself, and vice versa.

I’m rambling. I really do not want to do this paperwork or send these emails. And I’m not sure if I deserve the leave I’m trying to take. But I miss being love with my job. I miss enjoying it. I wouldn’t judge someone else for going on medical leave, and my job doesn’t want me to burn out or quit. It almost feels like I have to be skeptical of applying for leave because no one else is. Everyone I’ve spoken to has been very supportive, including my manager. And considering how many unpaid days off I’ve had to take lately, disability leave would be an improvement over some of my recent paychecks. All in all, short-term disability makes sense and seems like a reasonable response to circumstances. But FUCK. I wish it required like 90 percent less documentation.

[hellyeahsickaf]

I get disability memes on my Pinterest feed but after getting one for ER Drs/nurses that I found concerning, I kept seeing more and more like it and I went down a rabbit hole. I know it's one of the most stressful jobs someone can have and I really appreciate the medical staff that have been kind to me. These things are definitely made by the types of people who haven't been.

I think it's important because memes are kind of a way to let off steam but they mean what they're saying. They're not just jokes but they're framed in a way that they can say it more comfortably. Sometimes they're just straight up admitting to crimes and malpractice. It's like when someone says something that crosses a line in a joking tone so that if you feel attacked they insist it's just a joke and you're taking it too seriously. But my life is constantly in the hands of these people and I've been mistreated time and time again by medical personnel

I'm gonna go through them because honestly I hate them and there are a lot of repeating themes

These are extremely common. The focus of the meme being that a whiny patient is asking for pain medication that they clearly don't need. Something commonly mentioned in these is disbelief that the patient has an allergy because it's common for someone trying to get drugs to claim they have an allergy.

Also the Confucius one is both ableist and racist so double whammy I guess!

I've dealt with people I know are silently assuming this of me. I'm allergic to NSAIDs- deathly allergic and at risk for asphyxiation or anaphylactic shock. Medical staff sometimes have this attitude of "we know when you're faking your pain" (no really I had one say this shit on my post about this) and that has traumatized me immeasurably because they'd rather me wait for 4+ hours in some of the worst pain of my life than risk the possibility of me being an awful scheming mustache twirling addict.

This category is just as common. "I don't like you so I'm going to drug you". That's more fucked up than they seem to think it is.

Then there's the category of "you're a whiny little bitch and I don't believe a word out of your mouth". Which contributes heavily to medical malpractice and abuse

Again these are doctors and nurses making these, people responsible for treating patients with care and dignity and respect. Especially if they want any in return

Aaaaand this one is just a crime. One that's happened to me actually- reporting examinations that never happened to get rid of me because I was such a nuisance (crying, hardly coherent, drenched in sweat, 9/10 pain on arrival)

And then there are the ones like "don't mess with me because i handle your treatment/meds 💕". Things like "the way you treat me is the deciding factor for how fast I'm going to get your painkillers 😊". Which to me is just... evil?

I've never in my life mistreated medical staff but people in a lot of pain get mean sometimes. It's a survival instinct actually- for aggression to accompany pain or panic. Not that it's ever okay but it isn't personal

These are just a few examples really, there are so fucking many of these with this awful, cruel, cynical tone. There are some funny ones that aren't mean or degrading towards patients but so many of them are and in nearly every one I see a mean spirited healthcare worker that I've encountered at some point who damaged me in ways I will never psychologically recover from

[unsentimentaltranslator]

When New Zealand nurses went on strike, they actively expressed solidarity for their patients, saying that the system harms patients too. It is entirely possible for healthcare workers to advocate for themselves without punching down on their patients, and we should all be a lot tougher on healthcare workers who use their working conditions to justify their pre-existing prejudices. Claiming that being overworked makes you ableist, sexist and fatphobic is like claiming that sleeping pills make you racist.

i NEED you to remember this: you are allowed to be angry at your doctors. you are allowed to be furious. you are allowed to be mad at your nurses and technicians and neurologists and psychiatrists and medical assistants. they are not god. they are human beings and they work in a system that wears them raw, and that is unfair, but it isn't an excuse to treat you badly. i'm not necessarily saying you should throw a brick through the window of their car, but you can, should, must be angry with them for ignoring you, demeaning you, dehumanizing you, dismissing you, acting like you're lying, talking only about your weight, failing to acknowledge you past your symptoms, etc etc etc. you are an equal to your doctor. you are a human being and so are they. do not treat them as beyond reproach. you are allowed to be angry at your doctors.

[gatoofjustice]

(Part 1) Roots of the Medical Industrial Complex

This section is about how the Medical Industrial Complex is deeply rooted in racist, ableist, white supremacist, and colonialist standards. The population is separated into “healthy” and “unhealthy” people, ultimately who can provide labor, and reproducing “healthy” future workers. This harmful mindset contributes to eugenic practices and lawmaking. Examples include nonconsensual, forceful sterilization to people who have disabilities and qualities that are deemed unfavorable, under the guise of ‘protecting the general population’. Most marginalized communities have gone through inhumane treatment testing and experimentation for medicine and as a result, have suffered harmful stigmas from it. This section points out how the Medical Industrial Complex benefits the wealthy, and especially favors cishet heterosexual Christian men. Their quality of care also depends on the access money can provide, unfairly excluding large groups of people and communities. The Medical Industrial Complex is also responsible for beauty standards and determining "desirability".

I find it incredibly interesting to learn about the emergence of the Medical Industrial Complex, and how the system was set up to harm marginalized communities from the very beginning (with the emergence of private property).

While I have personally not experienced harm from the Medical Industrial Complex, I recount stories told to me by my friends who are BIPOC and/or neurodivergent where the system has harmed them or failed to give them the proper care that they needed. Unfortunately, they sometimes also experience microaggressions regarding themselves and their well-being. It sounds like to this day, these harmful standards are still reinforced. Change, or alternative healthcare is needed on some level to truly provide care and healing to these communities.  

[pears-trinkets]

Its honestly unsurprising but still disappointing how many white (especially us & uk) disability content creators with a big audience conveniently ignore the ongoing genocide in Gaza and everything that is connected to it. Especially because its a mass-disableing event that often leaves survivors with one or two amputated limbs (making Gaza the place with the most amputations on children in the world), infections due to lack of healthcare, horrible living situations, malnutrition and a weak immune system and more.

But these influencers or YouTubers or TikTokers that got rich off of "how it is to be disabled" videos and making themselves the voice of a whole community/minority are completely looking the other way.

They only open their mouths when pressured and then their "support" remains mainly on the surface level, without action or change. Meanwhile they also look away when they're being critiqued for taking sponsorships from brands associated with Israel and the genocide or don't even feel ashamed to collab with companies on the BDS boycott list and sell the consumption of their product as a lifestyle.

Its okay to not know something, most of us started learning in October too. But you have to listen and learn.

I'm sick of hearing "being disabled is hard, that's why should sign up with today's sponsor betterhelp!!" while this burning garbage dump of a company is gifting all the IOF soldiers free therapy because the war they started is affecting them. I'm not even gonna go into betterhelp selling their most vulnerable patients' data that could be seriously harmful. And im not only talking about disabled people or people with any kind of migration background, its a lot of LGBTQIA+ people too. But those creators don't care about that while milking pride month until the last drop.

They are part of the LGBTQIA+ community themselves. But the only people they care about is themselves and their family. If someone else is endangered by the content they're promoting its none of their business anymore and gets you blocked.

Which is another great example of being one minority doesn't mean you can't be homophobic/racist/ableist/etc. Especially if you're while and wealthy.

I don't care that you have a family to feed or bills to pay if you're doing it by exploitation and endangerment of others.

You can't claim you're fighting for a community and just putting information out into the world while your life is paid by brand deals with Starbucks where you make a quirky WORKING AT STARBUCKS FOR A DAY video. Meanwhile everyone who keeps up with news and recent events has been criticizing and boycotting them for years because of their mistreatment of workers and killing every chance of unionization.

Yeah, you can argue "its not an influencers job to speak out on events like this" with people who do quirky humor skits or make up videos or something, even though I don't agree with that stance either. (Let's remember how a lot of make up and beauty products are made in Israel or with resources they stole, same with food, clothes, etc etc etc) But if you're a disabled content creator who makes money off of that title its literally the kind of content you make. Its literally what they talk about in every post, every video, every podcast. And them getting selective about their support and acceptance and awareness tells you everything you need to know.

No, not every disabled person has to be an activist and take it up to themselves to educate other people. Yes, most of them make content about their own experience only. But none of that exists in a vacuum where you get to profit off of one part while looking the other way. No one expects a big speech, a ted talk about whats going on or even an apology. Just acknowledgement and harm reduction, but apparently thats too much to ask already.

[girlscarpia]

I hate how people on here talk about healthcare workers lol you can't leave out criticism of system that forces them to be overworked understaffed and doesn't adress burnout properly

[ursie]

I am so close to having the opinion that healthcare workers should not be allowed to have social media (specifically tiktok) like do I think they deserve to talk about their issues and have better support? Yeah. But they have got to fucking stop mocking patients

For one it's highly unprofessional and inappropriate, as well as demeaning. The patients do not deserve to be mocked like that, and making a skit about the interaction is mean spirited and cruel

Specifically long term care workers on thin fucking ice. My mom is a care giver and has been for nearly 30 years, and never once in those years has she ever made jokes about her ladies on Facebook, and that woman puts everything on Facebook. Even when talking to me and other family about stuff she is never anything but respectful and understanding (because they're human beings who, despite health issues, deserve respect and kindness) it's never 'oh I'm gonna mock one of my ladies for not eating' it's 'let's find something she WILL eat or talk to her doctor about it'. The only person at her job she has ever mocked is Steven, but that's because he's a coworker who is horrible at his job(which in the humanities is a very bad thing to be: He got fired) It's just. Unspeakable cruel to mock someone on the internet, especially for things they cannot control and doubly when they are dependent on you

Furthermore shaming people in healthcare is just a dangerous thing to do. Like people are already discouraged from seeking care because of expense, making them scared a nurse might mock them later on(in front of millions if people no less) makes it even worse and can make people suffer unnecessarily

Not to mention how horrendously fucking ableist tiktok nurses are

This one girl made a skit about a guy doing smth, but insisted he wasn't disabled 'because she could tell' but, as a nurse, she should know better than to assume someone is or is not disabled when you are not their fucking doctor

Anyways I think anyone who has been anonymously mocked on the internet by a shitty nurse should be given a gun and exempt from legal consequences

Oh no like?? I think hospitals def need to be better about being aware what their staff is doing especially on like. TikTok like I’ve seen sm needlessly ableist bs by nurses and doctors and it’s like?? You’re mad you have a disabled patient who won’t (can’t) do x because..they’re disabled? You’re mad you have to treat the elderly? Addicts? Fat people? Children? Literally what did you think this job was gonna be

[thatheathen]

Source: sarah.epperson 🌹Roses are red, my rage is too…🤬 (💖🧷 giveaway)

“#DefundThePolice means stop spending tax $ on the dangerous & racist parts of policing & instead invest that $ in community-driven solutions that foster real safety. Rather than endlessly growing police budgets on surveillance, armor & weapons of war, increase funding for things that people really need:

🏡 Affordable Housing

📚 Education

🏥 Healthcare

🧠 Mental-health & Substance-Use Treatment

🚸 Childcare

🌳 Parks & Libraries

#police are not effective responders to #Homelessness, #MentalIllness, #Addiction, school discipline, or any issues that pose no danger to anyone. Relying on the police to “solve” those problems only escalates interactions & unnecessary conflict.” - @benandjerrys

“At its root, policing & prisons are systems designed to uphold oppression.

🛑1,000 people are killed by police every year & Black people are murdered at 3Xthe rate of white people

🛑≤ 50% of people murdered by the police have disabilities

🛑≤ 40% of police officers have perpetrated intimate partner violence & sexual violence is the 2nd most common form of police brutality, primarily targeting Black women & esp. those who are sex workers & drug users. Many of these incidents of police violence are undocumented by studies & only uplifted through grassroots movements. Prisons, police, & prosecutors work closely together to sustain white supremacist, capitalist, ableist & cisheteropatriarchal systems of extraction & death.

8 To Abolition:

Defund the Police

Demilitarize Communities

Remove Police From Schools

Free People From Jails & Prisons

Repeal Laws That Criminalize Survival

Invest In Community Self-Governance

Provide Safe Housing for Everyone

Invest In Care, Not Cops

The end goal of these reforms is not to create better, friendlier, or more community-oriented police or prisons. Instead, we hope to build toward a society w/o police or prisons, where communities are equipped to provide for their safety & well-being. - www.8toAbolition.com

[calamitys-child]

Someone liked my post about the number of carers being ableist I see at work and it reminded me of the other thing I hate which is that I have in the past worked places which offer the following: free carer ticket; discount for low income individuals; Blue Light discount (healthcare workers, police, military); premium membership discounts. Disabled people bringing a carer and low income people without fail would offer me things like their PIP or DWP letter (government letters regarding disability or unemployment) or a medical note or bus pass, some kind of documentation saying they qualify for the discount, often without me ever having to ask. Carers/nurses/doctors, polis, squaddies, and people well off enough to afford premium membership would a good 70% of the time just demand the discount unsubstantiated and would not infrequently get really irritated with me when I asked to see their membership card or proof of discount. Like, again, it's not 100% a hard and fast rule. But it's another trend I've seen working with the public that the people who our awful society deems "less valuable" are frequently significantly more enjoyable and valuable members of the community to spend time with than those who think they've "earned the best" or whatever

[iiceiasnow]

From a nurse POV— absolutely hate the phone calls. I loved my patients that only ever messaged us online. Waiting on hold for an hour to talk to someone was horrible. And most healthcare workers absolutely prefer to have something in writing. Much easier and less stressful to handle. When we built a new clinic for our Peds Neuro patients we had to BEG for a wheel chair scale. For our patients who are predominantly disabled…not to mention the explaining we had to give for our request of sliding glass doors, extra wide hallways, large exam rooms, and multiple ADA bathrooms. Healthcare is predominantly ableist-even when the providers themselves are requesting accommodation.

As a Patient- recently I had an issue with my hearing. I am not deaf, but I do have many health issues and consider myself differently abled. Specific to this case though, I have always dealt with auditory/sensory issues, particularly that unknown/repetitive sounds or multiple sounds will trigger me and make me hysterical.

I started having what ended up being an unusual presentation of tinnitus due to my near constant ear infections as a kid that caused scarring, as well as vertigo and fibromyalgia related symptoms in my ears.

Did the hearing test, saw the doc etc. Thankfully no hearing loss. But the rest? The mind numbing, deafening tinnitus and life altering vertigo? Oh no. That you just get to deal with. Nothing we can do! I’ve asked multiple times and different ways, explaining that this is literally adding to my disability, robbing me of sleep, etc. no fucks given.

None given either when I expressed concern about getting into the (not ADA) hearing test sound booth with my crutches, no help offered. The entire clinic was so thoughtlessly planned. Nothing was ADA about the testing equipment or rooms, no sign language in sight, very little posters on the wall with written information.

My husband went a few months later where they diagnosed some new “slight” hearing loss in one ear. Just sent him on his merry way. “Oh it’s not too bad!” No no, it’s fine. He doesn’t need to hear his wife or child talking. It’s no big deal that he had perfect hearing a year ago….whatevs 🫠

They should invent healthcare that doesn’t involve phone calls

[canichangemyblogname]

Abortion may be set to become legal murder in several states.

Make no mistake, this will lead to stillbirths and miscarriages being investigated for, even prosecuted as, a potential murder.

If abortion is murder-- homicide with intent, premeditation, and malice after thought-- does that legally make a miscarriage second degree murder: homicide without intent or premeditation? Will it be extreme indifference to human life if someone has to miss their OBGYN appointment and then later has a miscarriage? What if they stayed in an abusive relationship? What if they had a can of soda? Too little fiber that morning? A cup of coffee?

Anyway, some things to consider about abortion restrictions...

Restricting abortion and/or making abortion legal murder accomplish several things:

Creates more felons. This accomplishes two things: it increases the number of cheap prison labor and it denies more people the right to vote. Let's not kid ourselves into thinking these won't predominantly be poor people as well as black, brown, or indigenous people.

Increases the number of impoverished women and AFAB childbearing people. Pregnancy and 'motherhood' are both impoverishing, with studies showing that women who cannot access abortions tend to earn significantly less and face more unemployment. Abortion restriction increases the number of poor workers. It also increases the number of future exploitable workers and potential military recruits. And it increases the number of people who will be seeking charitable services (often through churches). This may be especially devastating for people without insurance, which includes many disabled people.

It increases the number of children in the system. This accomplishes two things: it continues cycles of poverty and crime and increases the number of adoptable babies. Most of these babies will be black, brown, and indigenous due to disparate healthcare, a history of racism in this industry, and the prevalence of food deserts in these communities. It'll be no mistake that the influx of "unfit" parents will be black, brown, and indigenous.

It increases the number of adoptable babies. Babies are a hot commodity in the trafficking adoption industry. There are very few babies and a lot of rich, white Christians (Amy Coney Barrett?) who want to adopt them. The babies who end up in the system will predominantly be black, brown and indigenous.

It forces childbearing people to have children as the birth rate decreases. Eugenicists and white supremacists have been decrying the abortion of white babies and the lack of a "domestic supply" of infants. But this also increases the population of the future exploitable workforce. REMEMBER: If the state can decide who must reproduce, there is nothing legally stopping them from deciding who must not reproduce.

These decisions dismantle legal protections for bodily autonomy, essentially ruling that a fetus is entitled to the 'mother's' womb and the 'mother' is required to let another lifeforms use their life to sustain its body. Every person should have the right to determine what happens – or does not happen – to their own body.

It strips women, transgender, nonbinary, and gender- nonconforming people of dignity as they are stripped of this decision and stripped of the ability to affirm their identity as they are reduced to a reproductive function.

Also please remember:

These bans do not protect future AFAB babies or babies who will be born with fetal abnormalities. The issue is that couples and 'mothers' have been primed and socialized to believe that having a girl is bad or that having a child with Down syndrome is a waiting catastrophe. Breaking down patriarchal norms that stress birthing boys and breaking down ableist thoughts is the better avenue. Providing families in America with a robust health system is also a better avenue.

Restricted abortion access will result in more death, more pregnancy-related health complications, and more pregnancy & birth related disability, mainly for people who already experience disparities in their health care.

95% of people who get an abortion report that it was the right decision for them.

The majority of Americans support access to reproductive justice.

One in four women will have an abortion by age 45

Women who are denied abortions, and gave birth, report worse health outcomes up to five years later than women who were able to secure an abortion.

A lack of access to abortion has negative socioeconomic and developmental consequences for a person’s existing children.

This would be just a stepping stone in the roll back of healthcare privacy rights.

This could have a chilling effect on whether people seek care. If they fear investigation or fear surveillance, they may forego care or treatment because this will dismantle trust in doctors.

[thistherapylife]

Replacing the cops with social workers without intense work is dangerous

I feel the need to address the posts I've seen recently calling for the replacement of cops with social workers. We need to abolish the police BUT that doesn't mean social workers and therapists are exempt from racism and upholding white supremacy.

I’ve experienced substantial micro aggression and straight up racism as a white presenting woman. It has been much, much worse for my Black and Latinx Colleagues.

My last non profit was racist and ableist. I felt the HR manager in tears at my exit interview. There is still rage because there are rarely consequences for white people in positions of power and there is very real Blacklash to the Black people who attempt to point it out. These aren’t even people with the power to remove kids or housing but the power trips were so impressive. I remember being told we need to take Black and Latinx kids to pick fruit in the hot sun in the summer with no space for why that might be a problem. Couldn’t understand why migrant worker parents would be angry or upset. Or Black parents. I saw Black women pass over for promotions or told they were unprofessional. I’ve seen white eyes rolled and concerns dismissed. Beyond personal experience - Black, indigenous and Latinx families were frequently labeled as resistant and unable to change. There was always appropriate lip service to “engagement” and “connecting” and cultural “competency” (not humility). There are people who work in these systems (mental health, healthcare, education) who are content to be passive and maintain the status quo.

Many (most?) these non profits are actively harmful for communities. Giving a child with chronic and extensive trauma and attachment disruptions a new therapist every school year is cruelty. Having so many white savior therapists flood communities of color with the “desire to fix” is harmful. Not being actively and aggressively anti racist is injurious. “Saving people” is deadly. People usually don’t need to be saved - they need the right supports.

There is not an institution that exists in the United States was not build upon racist foundations. There is no institution that exists without or apart from racism. These structures have to be rethought, redrawn, reshaped, rebuilt. White people in social and health services can be so destructive. There have been moments when I’ve known I had the power to ruin someone’s life. I made a choice in, what I hope, in the best interest of the client but I KNEW it was a life changing moment where I had to color outside the narrow Eurocentric white therapy lines. There have been times when I put myself at personal or professional risk because it was the right thing to do. I was told I was doing “too much” like it was “private practice.” With the implication being that poor kids and families shouldn't have access to that level of support. I have knowledge of Black families and lives because of my own family that other white therapists don’t have because there is not the pressing need to learn these things - esp in MFT programs.

There are amazing BIPOC social workers out there doing amazing work. Some white accomplices out there too. We need to look to mutual aid in the community. We need to decolonize our therapy practices. We need to listen to Black therapists. We need to listen to Latinx therapists. We need to listen to disabled therapist. We need to listen to queer therapists. We need to hear clients. We need to hear community organizers. There are mutual aid groups, likely in your community. There is a movement to decolonize therapy. I can see how it could be different but there is A LOT of work to do to combat racism that doesn't stop with abolishing the police.

[werehamburglar]

[IMAGE ID 1: a series of eleven comments from a larger exchange between users werehamburglar and crippled-peeper. crippled-peeper is the original poster. werehamburglar’s first comment in the exchange is marked “3h ago” and reads, “@ crippled-peeper dude, your post is correct, but you’re being an asshole. stop putting words in people’s mouths.” crippled-peeper’s first reply is the second message in the exchange and reads, “@werehamburglar fascinating I don’t give a fuck. eat shit you crying ableist loser.” werehamburglar replies, “you’re right that the fad is taking away access to an ostensibly very accessible form of the thickener, and that is a problem, but you keep putting words into the mouths of people who agree with you on everything except the fact of access via a metric shitton of water thickener and it’s not… helping in the slightest.” crippled-peeper’s reply is, “@werehamburglar HAHAHAHAHAHAHA abled healthcare workers definitely know more about my life and what I can access than I do. Sorry you think I’m fucking stupid and lying. I don’t give a fuck you shitface," to which werehamburglar replies, “did you solve ableism by calling everyone who disagrees on a minor nuance a bitch? did yelling at everyone solve the issue? did pushing everyone out of your same boat and shoving them off of adjacent rafts get back at the people who dumped you in the ocean in the first place?” crippled-peeper sends three replies, one after the other. reply one reads, “@werehamburglar what the fuck are you even talking about you insane bitch”; reply two reads, “@werehamburglar I owe my oppressors and healthcare workers exactly nothing. Eat shit and cry about it cunt”; and reply three reads, “@werehamburglar comparing being a healthcare worker to being quadriplegic is genuinely fucking hilarious. Please keep going you’re definitely winning something”. The final three comments in the series are marked “2h ago.” werehamburglar has two messages in a row. Message one reads, “nowhere did i say you were lying. nowhere did i say you owed anyone anything. and nowhere did i compare you to healthcare workers; i compared you to other disabled people, who you have been constantly disparaging. you have some complex for hating people who don’t have it as bad as you do (or who you assume don’t). the person you immediately went off on is also disabled-- hence the “adjacent raft” bit. am i being entirely coherent? no, i slept two hours last night.” Message two reads, “and stop calling people cunts. it’s getting weird and kind of sexist.” The final reply from crippled-peeper in the image reads, “@werehamburglar BITCH CUNT BITCH CUNT BITCH CUNT BITCH CUNT GET THE FUCK OFF MY POST AND SHUT THE FUCK UP ABLEIST CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNTY CUNT!!!!!! K THANKS BYE!!!!” END ID]

[IMAGE ID 2: a series of twelve comments, including five from user crippled-peeper, six from user werehamburglar, and one from user stephenrobertslove, who was not involved in the larger exchange. The messages pick up after those from the first image and begin with crippled-peeper saying, “CUNT” werehamburglar replies, “very mature.” crippled-peeper says, in the third message of twelve, “@werehamburglar does harassing suicidal quadriplegic transgenders give you a boner or something? fucking freak. hope something auful happens to you” His message ends with the smiling face with three hearts emoji. werehamburglar replies, “@ crippled-peeper does calling suicidal disabled people cunts give you a raging hard-on, too? we’re all in the same fucking boat, dipshit. yours is just full of more water.” after a paragraph break, she continues, “log off and go to bed.” crippled-peeper replies, “werehamburglar “we’re all in the same boat” spoken like a true circle jerker. you have no fucking clue what my life is like. if you spent one day in my shoes you’d blast your fucking brains out. get the fuck over yourself you lying ass self obsessed cunt” werehamburglar has a series of two messages sent in quick succession. The first message reads: “@ crippled-peeper yeah, see, the point of the metaphor is that your boat is “sinking quicker.” your situation is more dire. im not a fucking idiot. i know there’s no real point of comparison between my issues and yours. on a sliding scale, yours are definitively worse. i would never argue they weren’t. and, see, here’s the thing-- i never DID.” There is a paragraph break in this message. After the paragraph break, the first message continues,” but when you engage with other people like this, it doesn’t do anything to help anyone, yourself included.” The second message reads, “get over yourself first. stop getting high on your righteous anger.” crippled-peeper says, in message eight out of twelve, “@werehamburglar are you winning? did you own the big meanie transgender quad? did you show him who’s boss? who’s anger actually matters(definitely not his!!)? good for you!!!! congratulations!!! I’m gonna go fucking kill myself” werehamburglar replies, as correction, “*whose” Unrelated to either commenter, user stephenrobertslove says, “Same like Ozempic, it’s for Diabetics not you lazy fat bastards that want to lose your fukn beer guts, it’s a life and death medicine for some people. Go on a diet or a walk you lazy fat ku@#$” In response to werehamburglar, crippled-peeper says, “@werehamburglar you’re so smart and special and important that’s why it’s actually ok for you to harass suicidal people with j finintely more problems than you. you’re sooooo normal kiddo good job!!!!” werehamburglar responds, in the final message of the image, “i am so smart and special. yep. mhmm. definitely what i said. go to bed.” END ID] 

[IMAGE ID 3: a series of nine messages between Tumblr users werehamburglar and crippled-peeper. The first two messages are from crippled-peeper and are both marked 2h ago, as are the remainder of the first eight messages in this image. The first message from crippled-peeper’s set of two reads: “@werehamburglar nope I’m blasting my fucking brains out try again cunt” This message ends with the smiling face with three hearts emoji. crippled-peeper’s second message reads, “@werehamburglar “go to bed” I don’t live in an institution just because I’m paralyzed but I’m so glad you think you get to talk to me like I’m a fucking child. you deserve the absolute worst fucking things in life. I hope you get shit on by 15 birds tomorrow and you also trip down 3 flights of stairs and break both tibias.” In response, werehamburglar sends two messages. Message one from werehamburglar reads, “me too. here’s hoping. or, wait, did you want to push me?” Message two from werehamburglar reads, “is that what you wanted? some acquiescence? a little apology?” crippled-peeper responds, “@werehamburglar actually I hope you break every single bone in your body. would literally make me so happy I would unkill myself just to laugh at you” werehamburglar responds, “for the record, im saying “go to bed” because you keep saying you’re going to kill yourself.” in his last response, message seven of nine, crippled peeper says, “@werehamburglar yup cuz I’m gonna I got my pills and my booze right in front of me right now girly!!!! You totally showed me :) you won :) you’re right about everything and actually ableism isn’t real :) it’s just my attitude :) good thing I’m gonna die tonight” In the last response for that stint, werehamburglar says, “Fully not what I said. Don’t do that.” An hour later, in the final message of the screenshot, werehamburglar returns to say, “I figured I wouldn’t touch your posts; those are for other people; but there are a lot of people who care about you and desperately want you here. You make this part of their lives better and more livable. Don’t let what I said push you further into this. Let it rest; look back on it in the morning and call me a cunt again. All said, all set aside, I hope you’re here in the morning.” END ID]

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do.