#headofsecurity

[fourbulliesandacookie]

Head of Security Elf Luna reporting for duty. If I see something I don’t like, I’m gonna bite it. #topflightsecurityoftheworld #headofsecurity #christmasisnowasaferplace #luna #fourbulliesandacookie #englishbulldog https://www.instagram.com/p/ClkQcTVrV0r/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[jackson-and-jillson]

Reposting our meme from yesterday because the world needs to see this -j

It’s a work of art -J

[jackson-and-jillson]

@jackson-and-jillson THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE AMAZING FOR THIS 😂😂😂 -j

Hello there little kitty-cat. Do you know who @italian-jackson-and-jillson are?

HISSSSSSSSSS 😡😡😡!!!

GRRRRREEEEEEOWWWWWW!!!!

[italianldcurtain]

THE REVEAL!!!!!!!!! IT IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the man behind the slaughter, the man behind the shenanigans.....

It'sa me!!!!

In truth, this was originally supposed to be one (1) joke, a parody of a parody (Italian Elon Musk) to clown on @ldcurtain in the spirit of clowning on Curtain (I do not run that or any of the related blogs--I do run @ccontraire and @drgarrison + her clones, ccontraire was to "take credit" for this and drgarrison was just for the silly snapcube clone joke, as well as @mrbenedict which I haven't really done anything with) and it quickly spiralled into many other Italian accounts because I don't know when to quit the bit. I will beat that dead Italian horse forever.

The accounts include: @italianjeffers-headofsecurity (the one that started the slippery slope: essentially sophie was like "is there an italian jeepers?" and i was like [five minutes of vigorous offscreen construction noises] [returns panting and covered in dust and paint] "yes of course there is what do you take me for") @italiansq @italianjacksonandjillson @italianmartinacrowe (both made after being asked about the executives and being so tired of frantically constructing italians--i'd hoped someone would search to see if the executives existed and see the hint of "i'm just one little guy") @italiannicholasbenedict (mostly for the comedy of him not speaking in the silly terrible bad accent like everyone else) @italian-nerissaeurusbenedict (literally because what else could i say to "i don't care who's doing this as long as they make more!" but also italianize her?) and several others meant as one-off jokes (@italiandrgarrison @italianseymourtheorphanagecat @italianthe-italian-benedictmafia @italian-mvshortcut @italian-bi-demon-ium) and @themysteriousitaliansociety just to make a list.

Admittedly, this all spiralled so wildly out of control that while I did create all of these accounts, icons and all, myself (imagine several browsers and windows both incognito and normal open, several election fraud accounts being utilized--no new accounts, hence why no follows from italians--that were from me, anyway) I did have a few conspirators, by which I mean people I told before I realized my identity was going to be a wild secret. I was a few Italians in, but there wasn't a fandom-wide game of Italian Werewolf happening. None of these conspirators had all the pieces (and I didn't either! I have my suspicions about who "the mafia" is, but they weren't me--and the RP blogs for curtain, sq, the sister, etc., weren't me either) although Milk did create a lovely video for me. I'm afraid Nobody and Sophie were not involved, at least in the Italian empire I accidentally created. My apologies for shamelessly accusing Sophie (among others) so much, and for the accidental attention this put on our dear Odysseus. (I think having a "two villains talking ominously over chess but the conversation is the real strategy game" conversation with someone but I had to do a bad Mario impression the whole time was the highlight of my day.)

Also, I hope everyone following all of these accounts knows I don't have the energy to keep this joke forever. They are probably going to go inactive unless I randomly get a funny little idea. Sorry about that. In my defense, this was originally supposed to be one (1) silly.

Some other notes:

I am literally in class right now. At this second. My god, was this badly timed.

I am not a FNAF fan, actually, I just think "the man behind the slaughter" is a very funny phrase. But I do know a bit about it if that helps, due to an intense phase someone I know went through + watching videos about it when bored. I don't know why I'm clarifying this.

I am a Doctor Who fan though. Lol.

All of this to say: largely, I acted alone. I created... so many sideblogs and icons. You were almost right! However, some people may or may not have known about my shenanigans, my tomfuckery, my chicanery, if you will. And Milk was certainly chief among them. Sometimes the answer is, in fact, the obvious one--the glass onion if you will--because I'm a mischievous little guy and I commit to a bit. (A non fandom friend, upon being informed of this, said something along the lines of "You silly little catboy. You are a force of chaos" which is the most powerful thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you so much.)

I hope everyone had fun with this unintentional game of fandom-wide Italian Werewolf. Thank you all, and good night! [DISAPPEARS IN CLOUD OF PASTA SCENTED GLITTER AND SMOKE]

[ldcurtain]

Hello Dr. Curtain. I saw you made a poll to determine which of your staff deserves an employee of the month award, and I was quite surprised to notice that @jeffers-headofsecurity was not included. The MBS Tumblr fandom has a weekly holiday to honor him and his accomplishments. Perhaps you ought to consider adding him to the poll.

SEND ANONYMOUSLY

Jeffers get back to work. And don’t submit anything to my ask box ever again.

[themysteriousitaliansociety]

some italian friends.

@italianldcurtain

@italianjeffers-headofsecurity

@italiandrgarrison

@italian-nerissaeurusbenedict

@italiannicholasbenedict

@italiansq

@italianseymourtheorphanagecat

@italian-bi-demon-ium

@italian-mvshortcut

@italianthe-italian-benedictmafia

[sophieswundergarten]

I SPAWNED ANOTHER ONE

Hey, @italianldcurtain, if you're really just the Italian version of @ldcurtain, as you claim, do you have an Italian @jeffers-headofsecurity?

[sophieswundergarten]

Cleaning Up A Good Portion of the Red String

IT'S BEEN A WILD RIDE

However

I think we may finally put to rest the storm of Italian/mafia/parody accounts that originated on March 21, 2023

@nobody33333333 was responsible for most of the normal character parody accounts that have been posting

An admission of such can be found Here A Quick Explanation is Here

This is the full list of character accounts: @ldcurtain, @mr-nicholas-benedict, @nerissaeurusbenedict, @jeffers-headofsecurity, @seymour-the-orphanage-cat, @thedrgarrison, @jackson-and-jillson, @shepardquaidcurtain, @constancecontrairebenedict, @stickywashington31415926, @reynardmuldoonperumal, @captain-phil-noland, @cannonball-officerzhao, @milligan-wetherall, and @not-milligan-wetherall

Any further information will added as things are worked out, but as of today (6/28/2023) the only remaining accounts that have yet to do a reveal are:

@italianwhisperer @italianvanillaextract @executiveinspace

[sophieswundergarten]

#Ken’s character resonated with me#My perimeter is his beach

@jeffers-headofsecurity Wonderful comparison

[ldcurtain]

MARRY ME DADDY uwu

Oh great another bot. @jeffers-headofsecurity WHERE ARE YOU? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE BLOCKING THESE PEOPLE!

From now on all inappropriate and overly intimate/personal questions will be deleted. This is ridiculous.

[rnm01c]

Sammie the 💃🏽👠 #redheeler has been on 24 hour security duty since the #pandemic #hankthecowdog 🐮🐶 #headofsecurity 👮🏽👀🦾 #GoPro #goprofetch #australiancattledog #redball ⭕️ #lisainaustin 👩🏽‍⚕️👩🏻‍🏫 #AUSTINTexas #texascattledog #ixchelinaustin 🐵🦊🦄 (at Austin, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/B95KAGHB3Me/?igshid=1tppgyar2xbno

[divinebedlam]

Freddie! My new security detail... he’s bulked up nicely since we first hired him! *****************************———————————-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ #rescue #rescuedog #cockapoo #safenow #headofsecurity #cockapoosofinstagram #etsyshopdivinebedlam #animalcruelty #endanimalcruelty #divinebedlam (at Inwood, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5SwuP8DJu1/?igshid=1erfojoykexwd

[clittleshop]

Security is slacking #officedog #security #headofsecurity #havanese #dog #sleepingdog (at CLittleShop) https://www.instagram.com/p/BynHvSelBcc/?igshid=1frz2lz3xhvvf

[ldcurtain]

This is false! @jeffers-headofsecurity struggled to track down one child on a small island, and rumor has it @thedrgarrison is currently living in a root cellar and having a mental breakdown. Meanwhile, I am the most beloved man alive: the hero who solved the Emergency and is working to make the world better.