#he's thicc guys i dont know what to tell yall

[annikasevenshots]

Star Trek Picard: Season 3 Episode 1 Reaction

Who's missed these from me. The screaming you all love to hate. Muah.

Beverly is so 🆒. I actually have no notes. Obsessed with Gates' hair it is On Fleek

Laris being the voice of reason and not being written out to make space for Bev? Very interesting.

Old communicator chirp noise my beloved

"No Starfleet" Picard: i know a guy 🥰 hello riker from starfleet who will contact seven from starfleet for help 😋

No one likes the phat ships 😢 Enterprise D it's okay honey we love you for who you are dummy thicc and all 🥺

RAFFI TIME RAFFI TIME RAFFI TIME

THERE'S MY GIRL

excuse me what did that orion slip in that plate to her i've watched this thrice and can't figure it out

NO??????????????????

"my girlfriend left me" NOOOOOOOOOOO??????????????

CALL ME A WEEWOOWEEWOO I AM MENTALLY UNSTABLE

GUYS NO PLEASE CMON I AM BEGGING

I DONT CARE IF SHES UNDERCOVER YOU CANT DO THIS TO MY GAY ASS HEART

GUYS PUT IT BACK I DONT LIKE THIS SHOW ANYMORE I DONT WANNA BE IN A UNIVERSE WHERE SEVENS LEFT RAFFI

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS I AM AT MY FUCKING LIMIT.

Ngl seeing the dramatic Titan ship pan just reminds me of the gratuitous Cerritos ship pans in LWD which never fails to make me cackle

Titan theme is so beautiful. I think it's fast approaching my favourite just behind Voyager

The way it intersects with the TNG theme? Chefs mf KISS. Hit me with that shit I want it all

Seven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Commander Annika Hansen" SHAW COUNT YOUR FUCKING DAYS 🔪🔪🔪

I AM AT MY LIMIT I ACTUALLY CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE

Thanks! I hate it!

bby laforge 🥺 for to blorbo? me for blorbo? blorbo for me? for blorbo to????????

Picard telling Seven she'd make a great captain? My heart cannot handle this shit i'm out

Seriously guys i have to do next week with heart medication i was not made to handle this shit

"Should we tell Engineering we're going at lizard space warp 9.99"

At least the show is self aware that Picard is a bit of a fossil ngl, i respect that

Shaw eating blue meat 🤢 sir tf is THAT

Does shaw season his meat with blue raspberry kool aid. Quickly

I wish shaw a very ✨die✨ ❤️

Hate how Shaw treats Seven but tbh i respect a captain that can stand up to picard and riker. Like he's not wrong they can't just abuse their power that's long gone anyway

Also sorry Picard but you have got to stop bringing your own wine as gifts not everybody wants that shit

seven being 👁️👄👁️ during the meal is a mood because same

Love how Riker and picard just barrel ahead without waiting for or checking on Seven. Especially after how awful Shaw was to her. Way to use your friends guys well done gentlemen

"Good morning, sweet girl" raffi you are killing me

How does she look so good

Raffi having her vape horgl with her on the La Sirena is somewhat bittersweet

Headcanon that there are snakeleaf vines in her room. You are not allowed to disagree ❤️

jesus christ worf mysterious handler why the fuck would you pull up that personnel file 😭

RAFFAELA MUSIKER SHARES MY BIRTHDAY??????????? YALL BE FR I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE

GOODBYE I AM ASCENDING

WHAT

WHAT LITERALLY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMING CRYING

i. raffi. same birthday. no. oh my god. oh my god.

oh, raffi... :(

How tf is Seven around on the bridge more than the captain. They're making her the not-captain captain of the titan and for what

Seven saying what i've always wanted to say like why yes i too would like to airlock picard for his audacity

Riker: grants permission to speak freely

Seven: speaks freely

Riker: no not like that >:(

Shaw being a snork mimimimi king was not on my picard s3 bingo but you know what. Mood.

Brain is too scrambled to take in the rest but

Oh my god

Loved the music

Welcome back my space moms

Oh my god this season is killing me already

In conclusion i'm delirious because they dropped the episode at 12am after i tried to watch streams of it twice on the world's shittiest wifi whilst travelling across the country. Happy premiere day.

[venusiangguk]

STELLA STELLA STELLAURRR

did u miss my reviews :3

to start i CANT BELIEVE U DROPPED THIS OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN HOW LOUD I GASPED, had my coworkers confused. alr i made a list of what to touch on so let’s starttt !!

NARI’S SPEECH DEVELOPMENT. i cried. i fucking missed that pudgy baby more than oc & jk ngl !! she is so so precious i love her i will forever protect her… her asking abt oc. what The fuck is wrong with you. my baby misses her friend 😔

jk not going to buy groceries is so real like i Have Done this. avoiding is my coping !!

friends being true friends. the way they all check up on him in different ways is so 🫶 heart fluttering feelings are so fragile rn ..

WHEN HE CLOSED HIS EYES TO HEAR HIS BABY GIRL GIGGLING…. people cried. we cried stellaur !!

before i get into taekook heart to heart… the image of dilf taekook sitting drinking wine is so sexy let me get spit roasted rn i beg ..

taehyung calling dasom a manipulator is so hot cause YES !! she does it for a living let’s not be reminded that dasom is such a bad bitch but also a Bitch yk? he knows her better than us i fear.. she’s just protecting her baby tis all :(

“was having a baby to save your marriage apart of your plan?” people GASPED. KIM TAEHYUNG ?? no but u made him intellectual and intricate in this convo i loved it. he really told it to jk straight and let him recognize his faults instead of having a pity party & it was so so needed.

OC’S INSTA. give me a minute. the spa day. kill me. burn me. what the. no i’m teary eyed ?!? that woman LOVED nari and vice versa i need them back.

ok let me finish on the taekook heart to heart. i loved and enjoyed v much. hearing jk’s intricate thoughts was so nice and although made me very sad a few times, i appreciated it more than anything. tae we love u. jk we love u. stella we love u.

OKAY JK HOt horny JERKY SUB MOMENT—

i Ache when you say his cock is hot and Heavy cause it IS !! Yes. hot and very heavy and leaking precum fUck.

sub jk. sub jk. we are summoning you… we yearn for u more than u yearn for oc… too far? we are all just horny mfs yearning for sub jk :(

he came !! a lot. and i digested. let me stop too much.

—

well stella. blown away as always. i missed your writing MORE than you could ever comprehend. please know you are truly one of the most talented writers on here i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. the way you explain things and the way you Write is so captivating and beautiful and and. i love this and i love YOU. never stop. thank you for this. ur amazing <33

love yaz !! 🫶

yazzzz <3 yes i have missed ur reviews they are always so in depth n ur always so kind to me, i am so thankful for u i love u dearly <33

yes miss nari is slowly but surely expanding her vocab!! she still does Not like talking tho >:( n her finally being able to say oc's name AFTER she's gone?? a specific kind of pain 😭 she does miss her v much </3 (they both miss each other :( )

bts best friends in all the multiverses and all the aus 😤

im glad you took tae talking about dasom like that in a Not bad way!! i was worried about dasom coming off as a villain, when she is not, and him coming off as a hater, when he's not and is just jk's bestie <3

tae absolutley obliterating jungkook with his words like SIR?? can he take a breath??? but yes it was very needed, and it the end it was very helpful. thank god tae is a twin boy dad n has acquired superhuman patience <3

the insta </3 i loved incorportaing that!! im glad it's been well received so far~~

we all love u dilf jk pls get ur shit together <33

aur was very nervous about debuting dilf jks subby interest bc he has been very Soft Dom n thats it the whole time... but u do have a point... we all love a sub jk moment 🥴

and once again yaz <3 i cannot tell you how much ur reviews like this mean to me, i read them over n over they make me feel v happy n loved <3 hope u know i luv u <33 thank u <33

[zread]

The date: 🔞 a lot of flirting but only if ur into that kind of thing 😏🔞

You are dating Robaire, and hes not in the same room as you, you guys are at a hotel for their tour so yeah, anyways, in the other room:

Robaire: “she has to say yes, what if she says no”

Jesse: “dude she loves you too much for that, she cant just do that to you”

Aaron Z: “yeah man just ask her out on dinner or sum”

Robaire: “alright thanks guys for the advice”

Jesse: “anytime bro”

Aaron Z: “np”

As he walks to the room where you were he sees u in the living room on your phone, he walks up to the couch and sits where u are and puts his arm around the top couch cushion he looks at you, u cant even see him looking at you, but his eyes are just dilating while staring into ur beautiful eyes, they were hazel brown. and his favorite thing about were your your beautiful eyes, its like he wanted to grab your soft cute face and just kiss you,

But he knows u guys are girlfriend and boyfriend so he did not hesitate to kiss you when I tell u this man kissed you passionately this man kissed you passionately, all u could ever think about was how soft and juicy his lips were he kissed you kind of a slow slightly fast, it wasn’t no peck on the lips this man kissed u like how edward kissed bella in twilight but on the couch,

Anyways, as he finished kissing you you were confused but yet red in the face, he whispers in your ear while sitting next to you,

Robaire: *whispers “we can do more of that action if u want mama~

Girll, he just called you mama, ur so red in the face u aint never heard your man call u mama in your life, so what he is doing is slightly seducing you, u kinda like it, but you also dont want your parents to go ham on you so you decline sadly

He wanted to meet your parents and have dinner with you after all u are 18 so why the hell are ur parents worried about that? So u were like,

Y/n: “i- i dont think you want to meet my parents- they are kinda…….Strict”

Robaire: “idc, ill make them like me”

Y/n: “ouuuh u do know what you are doing”

Robaire: “Damn right i do”

at this point from all this flirting with you he forgets that he is going to propose to you, pls for give him for this he only wants you

You get to your house robaire is with you so u are dressed up and hes behind you, all he could see right now is you and by i mean you u know what i mean😏 ur wearing a dark blue dress u were curvy like a bottle, no wonder why robaire thinks u are a model, he and lemme tell u u were also thicc 🫣

So u know he tries not to touch you, he pulls his hand away he was this far away from squeezing it 🤏🏽.

As soon as the door oped your parents were inside they were dressed up, your mom looked at Robaire, your mom was like

Y/n mom: “Reeow”

Y/n dad: elbows her”

Y/n: “oh my god mom this is my boyfriend, like why!?”

Y/n mom: “relax honey your boyfriend cute, so how are u sweetie?”

Robaire: “oh uh- im fine thanks for asking mrs. Y/n your daughter is the love of my life btw i love her”

Y/n mom: “you love her? Well i dont see why we can keep her- we definitely cant have her asking for money all the time”

Y/n: “omg are u saying i can live with my boyfriend?”

Y/n mom: “yeah i dont see why not”

Y/n: “thank you mom thank you so much!!!”

Y/n mom: “you’re welcome honey”

After hearing the news from ur mom u can go with your boyfriend Robaire u happy accepted and u pack ur bags and moved in with Robaire while hes on tour with the others so yall share a room together every night gets a little spicier and spicier im not gonna get into details because theres minors probably reading it 🌶 hotter than this pepper emoji anyways

So it was morning u and robaire were in the blanket first off he has no shirt on and u dont either u only have ur bra on

Then u here a knock on the room door it was Jesse

Jesse: “bro are u up we gotta preform today on stage”

U had nothing on but bra and panties on so u walk to the room door holding it open with ur hand ur hair is a mess and u look like u just had a hangover, but then jesse realized what happened so this is the face he made

Jesse: “🫣 im so sorry is robaire up?”

our big baby has no shirt on all u see is abs once u open the blanket and he’s wearing boxers lol.

Robaire finally gets up and walks to the door

Rubbing his eyes yawning then Jesse saw robaire with no shirt on

Jesse: “i- dude why are you-😳 nvm anyways, we gotta get going we gotta go preform on stage“

Robaire: “ok bro”

He goes to go get dressed

Jesse asks u if u hat a rough night you say

Y/n: “yeah i had a rough night, a very rough night 😏”

But then he realized why u made that face after u said that so his face started turning red just a tiny bit

He was like.

Jesse: “ok shawty u have to get dressed too, ur going with us”

U get ready u and robaire are in the same bathroom and he sees that u are wearing a crop top and some jeans. Those jeans make ur butt look fatter so he took his hand and he slapped it it was jiggling like jello, this big baby couldn’t even finish getting dressed he had his hand all on it lol but then he snapped out of it and started to finish getting dressed u were sadly making puppy eyes 🥺 and you wanted him to kiss you passionately but then u see that he is still getting dressed, and u take whatever he has in his hands and u tease him for not giving you love and affection

But then he stands up and u are standing next to the counter he grabs your neck and whispers in your ear

Robaire: *whispers “is this what you want mama~? ,To turn me on like that?”

He also said this,

Robaire: *whispers “ill deal with you later~”

So y’all finish the performance and you and robaire- lets just say u couldn’t walk for a week.

[satorou-s]

MEAT IS GOD | zombies au

“I’m so fucking tired of stale beef jerky.”

“WE STILL HAD THAT?!”

zombie apocalypse au

i have been dreaming about this for days, i may as well write it

warnings: might be shitty, don’t hate on me

this is gonna be pretty long, so buckle up and grab a drink

it’s the start of a new decade and the world is swept by a deadly virus that causes the dead to start walking

crazy shit man

a month into the apocalypse, daichi crosses paths with med student sugawara and architecture grad asahi, they decide to team up because a small group is better than being all alone in this world

a week later, they hear a loud ass “SHIT” coming from an alley and comes across nishinoya trying to fight off 3 of the undead all by himself ,,, the men [muscle emoji muscle emoji] decides to help - because sir suga said they should - and lo and behold, welcome noya to the group

noya tells them about the people he was staying with in an apartment complex, his childhood friend tanaka and his wife, shimizu [rio needs to add heart eyes here but she’s too lazy to] 

daichi decides OK YALL ,, LEZGO

now we have the group of: daichi, suga, asahi, noya, tanaka and shimizu

their ultimate goal is to get to the countryside where asahi’s family has a farm and hopefully, there wouldnt be as much zombies (or zombos as tanaka and noya calls them), and they’d have ~crops~

enter: star child, IWAIZUMI HAJIME

THIS MOTHERFUCKER

suga remembers this dude from one of his pre-med courses and here he is swinging a machete against FOUR ZOMBOS AND HE HANDLING THEM SO WELL

wow his muscles

iwaizumi got his hair tied back with a red bandana as a headband, he’s got a tanktop and an unbuttoned top on, cargo pants ,, boots ,, has this wrist band and ,, he looks so delicious man

ne way ,, so the group + iwa head off to the countryside yeehaw

they come across an enclosed camp

“YALL GOTTA STAY WHERE YOU ARE”

where the fu c k is that voice coming from

they look up and on the water tank we got OIKAWA TOORU WITH A FUCKIN RIFLE AND SHIT

he highkey the best shot with that shit in this camp

“YO WE AINT TRYNA PICK A FIGHT” they said

“SO DROP THE FUCKIN WEAPONS” oikawa says

“ITS LITRALLY A FUCKIN CROWBAR BITCH LET US IN”

“okay”

the big ass gates open, and there we have (cue angel music)

ushijima wakatoshi, kita shinsuke and bokuto koutaro

bokuto introduces themselves as 1/2 of the council in charge of the camp

there’s a council ?? yes

in the council, we have ushijima and kita who are in charge of the farm (the livestock and the crops ,, ushijima has a favorite chicken)

oikawa is in charge of border patrol ,, he’s fuckin deadly with that rifle and his accuracy on that thing is A++ 20/20 vision

bob the builder? we dont know him. we only know bokuto the builder he highkey be the dude who built most of the camp, the farms, repairs the gate, UGH LOVE THAT FOR HIM

we have a kuroo tetsuroo in charge of training, and supply runs ,, he knows which pads and tampons the women in the camp need ,, HIGHKEY

yaku is the mans in charge of the newbies, and speaking of ,, WELCOME TO THE CAMP TOUR

the whole camp is surrounded by fence walls, there are four posts and two main gates (west and south), there are tents in rows on the east side of the camp, and a row of outhouses (that bokuto built) and porta potties beside the main building, where people keep stocks n inventory by the north wall ,,, the whole west and south are mostly farm areas and where ppl park their vechiles

hopefully yall can imagine that

everybody in the camp has jobs to do

daichi and noya were put under kuroo for supply runs ,, noya is a quick boy and daichi is SMART wow they’re PERFECT FOR THIS

sugawara became the medic of the camp ,, their old medic died on a run so suga coming into the camp was basically a god sent ,, he also does inventory checks (with this dude named tsukishima kei who DIDNT sign up for the job but he does it anyway)

asahi does border patrol (coz wow imagine those thicc arms with a rifle in hand ,, DELICIOUS) he also helps bokuto in repairing and building things for the camp ,, their current project is another table for the mess hall/dining area :D

shimizu was put in to help care for the children in the camp ,, she sorta became a teacher and helps this girl yachi and this dude akaashi in teaching the kids basic education (because even in a zombie apocalypse, these children should kNOW HOW TO READ AND WRITE)

tanaka was put into farm work

a few months later, people started to get real sick in the camp ,, LIKE ,, season 4 of the walking dead type of sick where a fever can kill you and turn you into a zombo

suga is running out of antibiotics and ushijima’s medicinal herbs arent enough (yes he grows a herb farm)

noya nd kuroo goes out on a supply run to look for pharmacies to raid

lo and behold in one of these pharmacies they find a hinata shoyo and a kageyama tobio camped out in the back office

noya and kuroo brings them back to the camp with the medicine yay

hinata is a med student (noya showed off how it was him that helped look for the right kinds of antibiotics in the pharmacy) ,, kags is hinata’s annoying dorm mate

kageyama rolls into the camp with a rifle on his back and they ask if he’s any good with it yes he’s quite good ,, they put him under oikawa’s care

oikawa’s quite hesitant to teach this kid with the sharp and mean eyes but he does it anyway #SupportOikawa

tagging: @pretty-settersquad​ - @himbokutos​  - @akaaaashit​

with contrib from: @bord-y​ & @fitriiaw​ for the inspo

you guys are free to add on with what you think :> | also im sorry for not writing all of the characters into this but it will make the post longer than it already is | feel free to share how you’d see your fave characters in this au :0

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍 

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR 

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰 

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡 

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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 Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a  baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Goshiki; Commit arson

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM 

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Kenma: What a little pissbaby

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉ ┉

Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

[alex-fucking-dempsey]

SPOILERS FOR 13 REASONS WHY SEASON 4 EPISODE 1: WINTER BREAK

i was high almost the whole time this is a reaction ig sjsjsjs

Clay is narratating baby boy

Who tf died?

I called it monty fucking lived I FUCKING *flips tables*

So winston shut the fuck up if alex fucking goes to jail 🔪🔪🔪

Monty is horrfying omfg also the way hes talking abt the racial system

period tell him clay

aYO WHAT THE FUCK CLAY??? Is monty alive???

Clay looks so good shut the fuck up everyone

Dylan Minette pls sir get in guts

Clay is going insane lowkey scared

I miss Ryan Shaver n Scott Reed, end post

CLAY PUT THE GLASS AWAY MF

clay is too pretty im-

i hope tyler is okay ;-;

They are dating iM IM SORRY????

i just realize wtf is sheri? Where has been😭

clay lowkey reminds of tony

Tyler :(

tyler and clays friendship>>>

"ass shoes" - jess

Shes MOVING????

"Clay-cray" "clazy" the way i wanna marry Jessica

The way im high as hell the monty illusions i hate em

Alex dad >>>>

The only cop i stan

quick break: black lives matter.

okay Tony serve the looks

Where has justin been

ZACH MY BOY I LITERALLY LOVE HIM

PLEASE SIR LET ME LOVE YOU

ohhhhh justin was OHHHH

Okay but im zach showing up eveeywhere high as hell

justin n clay >>>>

Matt >>>>

jess n justin >>>

god i love this show sm sm

WE BITCH WHO IS WE

tony = tylers mom

Zach n alex stay a million feet apart for no reason

wAIT THIS DUDE

did he replace scott where is scott fuck u

US??? BITCH YOUR NEW GO AWAY WHO IS US

cookies: stan

alex is so nervous

oMG TYLER N NEW GUY HAVE VEEN CHILLING

I love zachs vibes

AGAIN WHO TF IS WE ANI SHUT UP

oh new guys name is charlie sisjsj

oH MY

justin what ;-;

you know what you tell her honey :(

I feel you lowkey jess :(

mERRY CHIRSTMASSSSSS

oh no ;-;

iF ALEX IS BEIBG LINKED BACK TO THW MURDER BY THIS STUPID COP IMA MD RIOT

alex looks so good rn sir pls

everyone: alex dont say anything

alex: SO FUCK YOU-

why does bill looknso diifferent

winston: mourning over his bf :(

winston needs to stoo being weird

Justin n clay getting new phones so sweet

Clay looks so good in that pic ;-;

why does everyone look so goddamn goos in the season wtf

hEY QUICK MF QUESTION DOES CLAY FUCKING DIE 🔪

ani n jess would make good friends with Sheri :(

I am one of the few who does like ani ngl

Justin serves looks sir pls

i swear i lean toward women but yall 😭the men in this mf show

Clay quit being awkward

I want ani and jess to live together

she best see her mom every weekend

sHE SAID: HER CURFEW IS 5 MF 🔪

does ani not like clay????

Yall jess best not be starting a forest fire

I forgot ani and bryce were fucking

ani is thicc lowkey

Yall i have work im upset

Is that the same whisper sound from assassins creed

WTF JESS SEEING BRYCE SCARED ME JESUS

ayo what the fuck?

yes jessica you fucking tell him

wtf is metal detector gonna do bro

I hate boland anyways

wINSTON QUIT LOOKING SO MF SUS

Estella is so pretty

Who is she Jess??

What???

Im confused

Zach >>>>

zach breathes and im all "wow so hot"

is no one going to college???

wINSTON GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM TYLER 🔪🔪🔪🔪

you getting cut if you are mean to my boy

thank god for ani

Fuck winston this lil mf gives me the heebegeebes

justins going to college imnso proud

oh shit winston is fine tho

also wtf do you mean it can kill you ima mess this mf up

wHY DID JESS GO BACK WITH- ANI PLEASE SHUT UP

okay ani pls dont call clay out (she wants a knife to her face)

poor clay has to pretend hes okay for everyone else

Im tired of seeing monty beibg a creep

Ani: *whispers* clay no wait-

LEAVE ESTELLA ALONE PERIOD

fuck off yall bitches

yEAH CHARLIE YOU TELL HER

who the fuck ONG

RHATS MONTYS SISTER WTF

monty n hannah n bryce: haunts ppl

CLAY GO RUN UP ON THOSE MFS

yall mfs really wanna box HURT CLAY-

OMG CLAY IS SO HOT PUNCH THAT MF

ani n clay: know who killed bryce

Also ani: THEY DONT WANNA BELIEVE HE KILLED BRYCE

im sorry???

tell ani clay :(

wINSTON DONT FUCKING TOUCH TYLER I WILL WHOOP UR MF ASS 🔪🔪🔪🔪

zACH N ALEX ZACH N ALEX EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

alex: worried abt alex

zach quit being mean to ur bf

zach is being so inconsiderate eat ass bro

HES GONNA TAKE ALEX OUT OKAY NVM I LOVE HIM

:( they still wont take them back annoying

justin dont-

Snitches get stitches end up in ditches qnd get no bitches bro you know the code

okay clay dont get all pissy bro

that was a weird transition

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LITERALLY I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES ITS SCOTT OH MY GOD MY BOY

i had no idea he was a senior why didnt they say that

oh ny god this explains the absence of ryan then ig but i miss scott more than anything ong

This confirms clays in love with scott i dont make the rules

LOOK AT HOW SWEET SCOTT IS BEING ONG EVERYONE I LOVE HIM FUCK

clays jeans >>>

i was expecting hannah tbh not ani

omg no clay :( u cant save everyone- it would have been more powerful coming from hannah lowkey disapointed

clay is finally getting help, proud

Clay looks so fine omg im sorry but he looks great

everyone in this seasn is looking so fine wtf

Winston is so pretty :(

he rlly liked monty my heart lowkey is broken

wHAT THE FUCK ZACH

the WAY ZAHC JUST SAVED ALEXS LIFE

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SO CONFUSED

HE JUST KISSED HIM

ZACH SHUT THE FUCK UP

no :(

Im going to sob

I have a feeling theyll kiss again and itll be on zachs volition

The anxiety i havfor alex

Also lowkey zach kissed back

the fucks i give ima write so many fics istg yall

brb ima go get high rq

they are gonna trace it all back to clay im so nervous

tyler best keep his mouth shut

Clay is so funny sjsjsjs hes so scarcastic like okay emo edge lord

season 2 is still superior i stand by that statement

[budugaapologist]

when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

[cinnamonrollstark]

Thoughts on Endgame

Sorry guys, again, in case you dont realise, THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS

If you havent seen the movie, scroll on. If you dont scroll, and dont have your tags blacklisted, dont come at me my bros.

This post will be very chaotic, wont lie.

Who puts mayo on a hotdog?

How about ketchup?

The dust in the wind, man, gave me chills

Tony and Nebula friendship! Yes motherfuckers!

Tony so looked on the verge of tears holy shit

First qualm: captain marvel saved them awful fast. Nothing to show how she knew they were there, maybe it was in some scene of captain marvel or something but ??? Like that was quick

I LOST THE KID OHMYFUCKING GOD

Tony looked so thin holyshit

YES MY MAN IN A CAN TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER OFF

YOU FUCKING WARNED THEM

"You said we'd do that together, and YOU WERENT THERE."

Yes Tony jesus let all that anger out

Handing his metaphorical heart to Steve got me choked up

"Went for the head" fuck yeah you did

FIVE YEARS WTF

Okay Ant Man bringing Joy, as always. So glad to see you, my little buggy friend

Also thank you to that rat?

TONYS A DAD

MORGAN IS PRECIOUS

Not that it's a competition, but she loves me 3000

And so do we bud, and we always will

TONY FIGURING OUT THE TIME LOOP

"Shit!"

Okay I'm glad yall made up but it couldve gone better idk

I get that it was played for laughs, but there was a little too much emphasis on Thor's weight

The taco though

I get it was showing how much his character had changed

However, it felt body shamy idk

But he was still funny as hell

And with everything he was such a mood

Thor crying fucked me up though

Same for hawkeye

Like man, Thor and Hawkeye, and a little bit of Steve cry a whole lot in this movie

FRIGGA

LOKI

LOKI AND FRIGGA

"IM TOTALLY FROM THE FUTURE"

"Are you crying?" "What? No, absolutely not." *thor cries.* "okay yes fine I'm crying.

"Hail Hydra" okay but why was that hot, Steve, how did you make that hot

"I could do this all day." "Agh, yeah, I know."

I'm going inside you

Also this is reflecting back but I dont think I'll ever get the image if hulk dabbing out of my head

Loki disappearing with the tesseract was a mood

HE HAD A HIPPY BEARD

TONY AND HOWARD

Still doesnt make Howard good in my eyes, but I'm glad Tony got some closure

STEVE AND PEGGY

TONY oh my God that awkward hug was everything

Act 2

NEBULA I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

Clint and Nat being jokey in the jet

They have no idea

Red skull again!

"I want to kill myself!" "No me!"

"Let me go"

"No."

"Its okay."

The score jesus christ so many chills.

Clint waking up and sobbing with the soul stone okay fine just rip my heart out, then

Aaand Cap is crying

Hulk come on, stop acting so angry at Clint

He was there and you werent

He really tried

OH COME ON THANOS YOU PURPLE DICK FACE BASTARD WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT

Making the infinity gauntlet holy shiiit

Tony's is so much sleeker than Thaddys

THE SNAP

THE PHONE CALL

CLINTS FACE

THE SHOT OF ANT MAN LOOKING UP AND SEEING THE SHIP BEFORE IT ALL GOES TO SHIT

Act 3

Oh wow I forgot for a hot minute that Rhodey doesnt walk the same

Awww Rocket you can get out of there I promise you little buddy!!

Where did that lead you... back to me

That whole sequence was just CINEMATICALLY brilliant

Also can we just talk about how Thor's hair styled itself with lightning?

Also if you dont still think thicc thor is hot you're a fake fan

But I get it if yourr not in it for the alcoholism

LIGHTNINNNG

OH MY FUCJING GOD

THE FUCKING HAMMER

HES WORTHY

"I KNEW IT"

Yes the fuck you did

And so did we

On your left!!!!

Oh my God the look on their faces was just amazing

WHEN ALL THE PORTALS OPENED UP

I LITERALLY STARTED TEARING UP

SPIIIIDEY

HES WORTH ANOTHER THOUGHT

PETER MOTHERFUCKING PARKER, JUST SWINGING ALONG

"You're never gonna believe- remember when we were in space? And we got all dusty?" "That yellow sparky thing he does a lot"

Irondad hug oh my FUCK

"Well this is nice."

GAUNTLET FOOTBALL

CAPTAIN MARVEL

SPIDEY IN INSTANT KILL MODE YESSS

PETER CLUTCHING YHE GAUNTLET WAS UNBEARABLY ADORABLE

"Hi Peter Parker."

"If I tell you it wont happen."

Tell him, Stephen, please, we cant lose him. But we will, and theres no way around that.

Strange holding up the '1' with his finger

After that I was a mess for the rest of the film

You sneaky amazing cinnimon roll, snatching up those stones

"I am Iron Man."

YES THE FUCK YOU ARE

DUSTY ASS THANOS

BYE BYE MOTHER FUCKER

I was sobbing at this point because I knew.

"Mr Stark? Mr. Stark, we won! You did it."

Oh lord I've never seen Peter cry like that and it ripped out my soul

"We'll be okay. You can rest now."

I was actually audibly weeping, and didnt give a shit.

Hawkeye family reunion!

Tony's goodbye message

I love you 3000 (pt. 2, the weepy remix)

The funeral.

The arc reactor at the lake

"Proof that Tony stark has a heart"

Peter baby I'm so sorry!

Harley!! Hey bud, it's been a while!

NED AND PETER REUNION I REPEAT

HANDSHAKE HANDSHAKE

DONT CRY NED YOU SWEET PRECIOUS BOY

We know where you're going, Steve. Dont be so dramatic (but we still love you)

Old! Steve!

Sir you do not age how I believe you would age but okay

Raisin Clint Eastwood hands Sam the sheild

Nothing against Sam, I just figured since he knew Bucky longer, it would go to him

But comic accurate, and it was still beautiful

The peggy dance and kiss

*EXCEPT TONY SHOULDNT HAVE DIED YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS*

[sportsnets]

nobody fucking asked but i don’t want to study for my ethics midterm right now so im giving you all my galaxy brain takes on hottest 10 nhl players

its about to become very clear that i am only interested in two types of men; goblins and pretty boys. thanks for coming to my ted talk

10 auston matthews

frankly doesnt deserve to be here but this blog is like 90% auston so it would be disingenuous not to have him here!! i just love his face idk dude the hort wants what the hort wants!

9 kevin hayes

listen. LISTEN. i know. he is a goblin. his only two settings are hot douchebag and loveable idiot. unfortunately im very into that. literally everything he does is so stupid and he looks like every man from boston. he has one braincell. i love him. 

8 brayden point

most likely secretly a werewolf. naturally perfect hair and eyebrows??? basically fuck this guy. this is what i wish i looked like. 

7 chris kreider

dumb thicc, smart as hell, and probably a vampire. thats tickin all three of my SMASH boxes idk what to tell you. a fellow self identified bastard.

6. roman josi

i wont include it for my own sanity but yes he did a photoshoot where he was a vampire?? literally just shirtless with blood on his face. exposing my own vampire fetish for the sake of this poast i guess. uhhh but yeah idk they let this male model play in the nhl and hes really fucken good

5. pk subban

200% boyfriend material and we all fucking know it, please look at this picture now

4. anthony duclair + i guess ill let PLD be here too

genuinely duke has the most heart stopping smile im sorry for being absolutely soft on main for him. um pld gets to be here because of that one video where he paints a little girls nails that was Very Good for me. anyways go thirst follow duke on instagram

3. charlie coyle

AKA big baby charlie AKA gronk AKA my emotional support hockey player. incredibly bland has never done anything wrong in his life. yall know that post like “charlie coyle is your friends big brother who walks around the kitchen shirtless” yeah its kind of devastatingly accurate

2. mat barzal

this is so self explanatory but like. bones. boy has Fuckign Bones. looks beautiful but has the messiest fucking frat guy energy. the duality. no sense of style but he is absolutely convinced hes a fashion icon. hes so pretty that every time i see him i am compelled to roast the shit out of him. doesnt deserve rights

2. mathieu joseph

sike there is a tie for second place. literally look at this image and tell me you dont Know. absolute boy next door vibes and deserves the hype that brayden point gets as hottest tampa rookie. i dont even like tampa but ill die on this hill. also has the personality that mat barzal wishes he had and is actually french

1. giroux

i know hes cleaned up and settled down but giroux used to be the patron saint of feral hot messes. encompasses the duality of softboy and gremlin. he has never looked good and yet always looks good. im literally always thinking about this photo of him playing beerpong with two broken wrists. king. 

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“Winners Don’t Do Drugs”

Summary: chuuya and chuoya’s celebration of 4:20 is cut short when the weed police arrive to investigate an anonymous tip

Notes: HAPPY 4/20 BITCHES HAVE A FUCKIN MEME LOL

*****************************************************************************************************

“oh shit bro i think imma bout 2 nut on ur bodey” chuuya grunted as chuoya shoved his patent-pending Pussy Rekter 69 TM further up his tight little ass.

“boy howdy pardner” chuoya purred seducktevly, yanking chuuyas nipple piercings with one tiny lil babby hand and shoving the bick further, ever further, up the tightest ass in yokohama with the other. “i cant wait to feel that sweet dick gravy all over my biscuits yall”

“HOLD UP THE FUCK BRO” chuuya SHRIEKED, shoving chuoya off the racecar bed and onto the pile of empty cheeto bags and mountain dew cans on the flor (chuuyas a fucckin l33t af mlg pro, thats why he was 360-no scoping that ass). “now is NOT the time for the sexk!”

chuoya gasped, clutching his cowboy hat to his rippling, nut-splattered pecs. “but pardner isnt it ALWAYS time for the secks?” teers rolled down chuoyas cheeks. teers of nut rolled down his ass cheeks. “i thought yall were the hron 4 meh. is my rough-ridin stallion of a bod not sexy enough for yall?”

“its not that” chuuya assured the orangenette, patting his sticky head. “im very much hrorny for ur body and lov making the sex on u bUT-“ he jestured wildly at the ninjago alarm clock on the bed stand. it looked like cole from ninjago- chuuya had asked for one that looked like lord garmadon but his bitch ass mom got him the wrong one. thx obama. right on coles chest (behind all the nut) there was a clock that said 4:20

the ninago alarm clock bussted out its ninjago alarm cOCK and ejaculated on the chuuyas. “ITS NINJA O CLOCK” he cried, gyrating his shapley birthing hips.

chuuya gravely patted the ninjago alarm clock’s throbbing erection ‘u bet ur sugar sweet ass it is” he said very seriously. he turned to chuoya, also, very seriously, with seriousness in his eyes. “it is has become THE TIME”

chuoya smorked. “well shove a horses tallywacker up my feedin hole and call me mom!” he said, pulling a bong out of his ass. “looks like its time for some good ol fashioned plant-fuckin!”

“oh yah” chuuya moaned, shoving the bong into his face mouth. “imma giv this weed the real good succ. i lov to smonk weed”

“yeehaw!” chuoya agreed, injecting preciesly one weed into his dicc.

“im so fucckin high rn!” chuuya whimpered, licking the rim of the bong to suc up that dank weed juice.

“HIGH!??? NO ONE IS GETHING HIGH WHEN THE WEED POLICE IS AROUND!!!1!” the door was knocked down, revealing EGGNOG SACKAGUCHI who had knocked down the door.

“EgGNOG??????” chuuya exclained. “how did u knock down that door?”

eggnog grinned. “they dont call me sackaguchi for nothin.” he frowned and shook his massive girthy sack at the chuuyas. “im here 2 arrest u for snorting weed”

“u dont snort weed u fuckin loser” chuuya snorted. “hav u ever even done a weed in ur life u fuckin n00b?”

“ya, i bet yall were REALLY popular in high scool” chuoya added. him and chuuya slapped their peens together. it was like a sekret handshake but like with dicks.

“i dont know what u do with weed bc im not a filthy MISCREANTS” eggnog sackaguchi screamed. he was is cry bc the chuuyas were right and he was a fucckin loser. his tears fell onto his limp ballsack. “all i know about weed is that weed is BAD and u fuckos are going to WEED JAIL”

chuuyas dick got super duper mega erect with excitement!!!! “a hole jail made of weed!??” he screamed. “all my dreams are coming tru!!! next thing u know it gordon ramsay will burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and start giving everyone hot blowies!” a 6’2 angery blond guy burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and chuuya cremed his jenes! “OH MY FUCK ITS GORDON RAMSAY” chuuya whimpered loudly, thrusting his eager and ready asshole toward the new arrival. “TAKE ME RAW GORDEN, MY BODY IS READY”

the blondette pushed his glasses up his nose so they did the anime thing. “im not gordon ramsay u ignrorant slut” he growled. “yeah this is my weed police partner kunikidonk” eggnog said smugly. he said everythign smugly bc he was a stupid fuck.

kunikidonk knodded. “yea that. i am heer to handcuff u-“

chuuya sprinted ass-first at kunikidonk shriekign at the top of his lungs “YES DADDY YES!!!!TIE ME UP SCOTTY”

eggnog slapped chuuya in the face with his massive sack. “DONT TAKE THE NAME OF STAR TREK IN VAIN U FILTHTY WHORE” he shrieked. he got so angery he popped a sack boner!

“but w8 yall!” chuoya exclaimed. “how did yall even know chuuyall and me were doin weed?”

kunikidonk did the anime glasses thing again. “we got a tip off from an anonymous source”

“you can get your tip off on me anytime gordon daddy” chuuya panted, humping kunikidonks leg. “i can locate ur lam sauce- in my ASS!!!!!1!!”

“yall just wait” chuoya growled as sackaguchi handcuffed him to his massive sack and dragged him out the door. “ill find out who snitched if its the last thing i do!”

“youll NEVRE find out!” eggnog laffed cruelly. “it was a top-secret classified anonymous person and i would never tell u that it was cyuya!”

chuuya stopped grinding on kunikidonk long enough to be outraged. “IT WAS CYUYA?!”

“HOLY SHIT IT CAN READ MY MIND!!!” sackaguchi screeched. he was so freked out that he uncuffed chuoya from his sack and jumped out the window! at least he meant to jump- his thicc sacc got stucc and kunikidonk had to push him out.

kunikidonk shook his head sadly as he handcuffed the chuuyas and dragged them out the door. “you too are going to b behind bars for a long, long time”

“oh daddy how long is it?” chuuya salivated.

kunikidonk crouched down so he could look chuuya seriously in the eyes. “ten to twenty-five”

chuuya fainted from pleasure!!!!!

as kunikidonk pulled his sick-ass polise car out of the apartment, chuoya looked out the back window and saw cyuya smirking evilly.

“WHY DID YALL BETRAY ME BROTHER” chuoya sobbed over the sound of his breaking hart and withering boner. “WHY DID YALL CALL THE WEED POLICE”

cyuya shook his head in sadness as he pressed a button on the remote control he was holding. the remote control was to control the bomb he planted in kunikidonks police car and when he pressed the button it blew the fuck up. tears poured down cyuyas face, wiping away the blood and nut stains on his cheeks. “winners dont drugs.”